#ya nabi

[dratefahmed1]

prophet muhammed song #ProphetMuhammad #Impact #Islam #Legacy #IslamicMusic english

prophet muhammed song #ProphetMuhammad #Impact #Islam #Legacy #IslamicMusic #english Muhammad,(pbuh),by,sami,yusuf,Sami Yusuf (Singer),naat,hamd BEST ISLAMIC SONGS FOR KIDS,THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD SONG,PROPHET MUHAMMAD NASHEED,BEST NASHEED FOR PROPHET MUHAMMAD,PROPHET MUHAMMAD SONG WITHOUT MUSIC,NASHEED ABOUT PROPHET MUHAMMAD,BEAUTIFUL SONGS ABOUT PROPHET MUHAMMAD,BEAUTIFUL PROPHET MUHAMMAD…

[unavernales]

FULL NAME / PENNAME: kim nabi / ulysses SPECIES: vampire GENDER: nonbinary [ amab ] PRONOUNS: they/them, he/him DOB / AGE: july 24th / 118, appears 23 ALIGNMENT: neutral good OCCUPATION: poet, author DRINK, SMOKE, DRUGS?: no, yes, sometimes ORIENTATION: bisexual [ heavily male leaning ] POSITION: dominant top

COUNTENANCE HAIR COLOR / STYLE: black / shorter mullet EYE COLOR / STYLE: brown / monolid HEIGHT: five feet, eight inches TATTOOS: none PIERCINGS: none NOTICEABLE TRAITS: sharp eyes, dimples, pointed nose

MENTAL POSITIVE TRAITS: eloquent, thoughtful, supportive NEGATIVE TRAITS: martyr, sensitive, secretive LIKES: thunderstorms, physical touch, staying indoors DISLIKES: the smell of hard liquor, deadlines, humidity

BIOGRAPHY unable to cope with tumultuous times, nabi and their older brother, dal, were the drunkards of their village. the siblings had lost their parents during the occupation of japan and only had each other. one night as nabi stumbled through the night to look for their brother, they were attacked by a newly turned vampire. upon tasting nabi's blood, which had been soured with years of alcohol abuse, the vampire accidentally infected them with venom before retreating. nabi was left to bled out in an alley before dal could find them. nabi survived, however, and found themself to be made anew. they were strong. fast. clear headed and not prone to withdrawals from drink. nabi had come to the conclusion that they were no longer human. for the better. they kept their knowledge to themself, and fed in secret. nabi found that they had a talent for writing, and began working for newspapers and publications, as well as publishing their own works. they flourished and were able to provide for themself and their brother. dal, however, continued to fall further into his alcoholism and animosity toward nabi. fearing losing their brother, nabi offered to give dal the same gift. dal hesitantly agreed, and nabi infected him with vampiric venom. however, the venom proved fatal for dal. he passed after an unsuccessful turning process. nabi, wrought with guilt and grief, buried their brother and fled to another continent. nowadays, nabi is still wrestling with mourning their brother while continuing to write and publish. nabi has been publishing under different pennames for over a century, but their most recent is ulysses. their poems and short stories are popular among young adults worldwide.

[punteuet]

Lirik Qosidah Sholli Wasallim Ya Salam

Lirik Qosidah Sholli Wasallim Ya Salam

Ahmadalfajri.com – Lirik Qosidah Sholli Wasallim Ya Salam Pada artikel kali ini, kami akan membagikan sebuah teks lirik Sholawat yang sudah sangat populer. Judul lirik Sholawat tersebut yaitu Sholli wa Sallim ya Salam. Lirik Sholawat ini banyak dibawakan oleh berbagai grup musik, termasuk grup Az Zahir Pekalongan. Redaksi lirik Sholawat ini hampir sama dengan lirik Sholawat Sholli wa Sallim…

[m541fmj-blog]

Lirik Shil ya Nabi Versi Azzahir - Lirik Arab dan terjemah

[in-syirah]

Sepantasnya tujuan seseorang menikah

Ibnu Utsaimin rahimahullaah, berkata : "Hanyalah sepantasnya tujuan seseorang menikah adalah :

1. Menjalankan perintah Nabi (Wahai sekalian pemuda, siapa di antara kalian, yang telah mempunyai kemampuan, maka hendaklah ia menikah)

2. Memperbanyak generasi Ummat (Sebab banyaknya generasi ummat, diantara perkara yang dicintai oleh Nabi, sebab banyaknya keturunan ummat adalah sebab kekuatan dan keperkasaan ummat—kemudian beliau membawakan surah Al-A'raf : 86 dan surah Al-Isra' : 6)

3. Menjaga kemaluannya dan kemaluan pasangannya, menundukkan pandangannya dan pandangan pasangannya. Kemudian, setelah itu, memenuhi syahwatnya. "

((Syarhul Mumthi))

Dan beberapa kajian ringkas dari para ulama juga menerangkan tujuan pernikahan :

Ustadz Muhammad Nuzul Dzikri : Jadikan tujuan pernikahan untuk mendapatkan kebahagiaan dan hidup abadi di kampung akhirat, ya, menikah untuk hidup abadi di Surga.

Ustadz Nouman Ali Khan : Hal yang paling utama dari segala hal dalam tujuan pernikahan, Allaah berfirman : Dia menjadikan kalian sepasang suami istri untuk tujuan mendapatkan ketenangan, tujuan berumah tangga itu bukan cinta, cinta itu datang dari Allaah, Tujuan kalian berumah tangga adalah kalian mendaaptkan ketenangan dan rasa damai. (QS.Ar -Rum ayat 21)

Ustadz Khalid Basalamah : Menikah harus niatnya karena ibadah, karena kalau niatnya selain ibadah, tidak ada pahalanya, rugi saja. Orang menikah itu bisa perhari ada pahalanya, asal niatnya karena 'ini perintah Allaah'.

Semoga Allaah beri kemudahan kepada siapapun yang ingin menikah, agar memperbaiki niat dan tujuan menikah tersebut, yakni ingin menyempurnakan separuh agama, yang semata-mata karena ingin beribadah kepada Allaah Azza wa Jalla, dan terangkumlah kebaikan-kebaikan lainnya, seperti mendapat ketenangan, dan kebahagiaan hingga ke surga-Nya Allaah. Aamiin Allaahumma Aamiin..

[ajinurafifah]

Ya Habiballah

Lagi bacain kakak buku tentang Nabi Muhammad, rasanya hatikuuu nyesekk banget. Ada ya orang setegar Rasulullah. Nggak salah, Allah pilih beliau.

Nggak pernah lihat ayahnya, karena ayahnya meninggal waktu Rasulullah di dalam kandungan, selepas itu ibunya meninggal waktu Rasulullah kecil.

Merasa sendirian, sedih, cuma ada Ummu Aiman. Disarankan ikut kakeknya sama Ummu Aiman, begitu dirawat kakek, menemukan sosok ayah dalam diri kakek--kakenya meninggal. Rasul ikut paman, lalu Rasul menyaksikan kepergian pamannya juga...

Bertemu istri yg begitu disayang, yang paling menguatkan, Allah uji dengan dipanggilnya sang istri lebih dulu. Allah uji lagi dengan kehilangan anak laki-laki. Ya Allaah...

Rasulullah tuh sudah berteman dengan kehilangan dari kecil. Ini masih belum terhitung ujian-ujian lain saat dakwah.

Ya Rasul...🥺

Allah hadiahi Rasulullah dengan banyaknya sholawat yg dikirimkan kepada beliau, terus mengalir sampai nanti hari akhir. Begitu banyak yg sayang sama beliau. Dan kata beliau, yang terus menguatkan, ya ummatnya.

Malu nggak sih, aku yang ga ada apa-apanya ini, yang banyak dosanya ini, jadi salah satu alasan beliau kuat dah bahagia?😭

Allahumma sholli 'ala sayyidina Muhammad🤲🏻

Semoga kita termasuk umat-umat Rasul yang mendapat syafaat beliau nanti di hari akhir. We miss you, ya habiballaaah🫶🏻

[gizantara]

Habis lihat story salah satu rekan komunitas, katanya:

Perempuan itu lemah dalam menghadapi ujian verbal.

Oalah, pantesan ujian terberatnya perempuan terbaik sepanjang masa alias Maryam adalah judgement terbuka dari orang lain.

Dan apa kata Allah tentang cara meresponnya? Yup, diam. Dengan diam, Allah membuat pihak lain (Bayi Nabi Isa) yang akhirnya akan berbicara membela Maryam.

Dan baru ngeh, pantesan sebagian besar perempuan betul-betul memperhatikan penilaian orang lain sehingga berlebihan dalam menyadari dirinya.

"Ih aku keliatan aneh ga ya kalo gini?"

"Ih orang mikirnya gimana nanti?"

Akhirnya jadi ngerasa perlu melatih diri untuk ga merasa too much karena sebenarnya orang lain tuh ga peduli-peduli amat. Semoga perempuan-perempuan baik dipasangkan dengan laki-laki yang juga tidak membuat perempuannya merasa too much.

Pinter-pinter jaga ucapan demi hati orang lain. Dan pinter-pinter jaga hati terhadap ucapan orang lain. Kalau kata Lee In Ah di drama Remember: War of The Son,

"Jangan membuat penilaian jika kamu tidak tahu bahwa hidup seseorang bergantung pada hal itu."

Dan ujian verbal tuh nggak melulu tentang yang menyakitkan hati. Di story rekanku itu, konteksnya justru perempuan lemah terhadap gombalan, pujian, validasi, dsb. Makanya, selagi bisa, ga perlu lah ngebuka pintu untuk celah-celah digombalin/dipuji/mengais validasi. Apalagi sekarang populer banget istilah word of affirmation. Gak salah sih kalau konteksnya percintaan di dalam pernikahan mah.

Tapi zaman sekarang WoA diromantisasi dalam bermaksiat kepada Allah. Rasanya lebih ke kocak. Udah tau kelemahan dirinya di situ, malah menyodorkan diri untuk dilemahkan. Malah menempatkan diri dalam kondisi keimanan diuji. Udah gitu, gak sadar lagi kalo itu tuh ujian. Gak jarang kan yang akhirnya berujung melakukan hal fatal hanya karena berawal dari pujian, janji manis, dan hal-hal verbal lainnya?

Buat anak perempuanku nanti, aku bakal mewanti-wanti bahwa dia nggak perlu menganggap serius ucapan-ucapan remeh dari lawan jenis. Aku bakal penuhin tabung cinta mereka dengan afirmasi positif sehingga mereka nggak perlu merasa pengen dipuji oleh laki-laki yang belum haknya.

— Giza, mencintai fitrahnya menjadi perempuan. Seru, tapi tricky juga kalo soal perasaan.

[fawazsidiqi]

Cara Berdo'a agar Mustajab

Berikut 6 adab Berdo'a yg Allah janjikan akan terkabul, sebagaimana terkabulnya do'a Nabi zakariya. Disarikan dari kajian Tafsir surat Maryam ayat 1-9 oleh Buya Yahya.

1. Menyadari kelemahan. Ungkapkan kelemahan dan keterbatasan kita selaku manusia. misalnya do'a Nabi Zakariya diawali pernyataan "Ya Allah sesungguhnya tulang ku sudah lemah dan rambutku sidah putih (baca : berusia tua).."

2. Sebutkan Hajat/permohonan kita. Hajat yg paling utama ialah dikuatkan iman, diperbaki alhlak dan dimudahkan taat, serta dijauhkan dari maksiat. Juga hajat lain misalnya : ingin menikah, punya anak dsb.

3. Khusyuk dan menyadari keagungan Allah. Sadari dan yakini bahwa Allah Maha Kuasa. Tidak ada yg mustahil bagi Allah.

4. Bersyukur atas kenikmatan yg dimiliki. Jangan hanya mengeluh, sadari nikmat yg Allah berikan. misalnya ketika hendak berdo'a agar anak menjadi sholeh (saat itu masih nakal) maka ungkapan rasa syukur bisa berupa : "Ya Allah, Alhamdulillah engkau beri aku karunia berupa anak, karena ternyata tidak semua orang dapat memiliki anak."

5. Jelaskan kegunaan/fungsi/tujuan/motivasi hajat. Misalnya (do'a Nabi zakariya) : "Aku takut tidak ada yg mewarisi kebaikan yg Engkau berikan kepada-ku dan kebaikan keluarga Ya'kub.." contoh lain ketika minta harta bisa dijelaskan kegunaan harta tsb : membayar hutang, bersedekah dsb.

6. Didasari rasa tulus dan husnuzhan. Yakini bahwa Allah pasti mengabulkan sesuai kehendak-Nya yg hal itu adalah pasti baik untuk kita. Jangan putus asa. Pengabulan do'a bisa jadi dalam bentuk lain yg lebih dibutuhkan, atau bahkan nanti di akhirat.

Wallahua'lam.

[vg-k]

୨୧ ㅤ🏺 ⠀⌒ ⠀ esp

(La verdad es que no se como comenzar este texto 😅.)

Estoy muy muy feliz de poder haber llegado a esta cifra de seguidores. Que a tantas personas les guste lo que publico y suelo hacer con mucho cariño me deja super contenta. Cada vez estoy más cerca de mi objetivo que es llegar a los 10k, confío en que podré alcanzar esa cifra pero se que no será fácil.

Al inicio fue un poco difícil y acabe desanimandome varias veces, tuve algunos hiatus simplemente por no tener ganas de hacer nada, pero eso ya pasó y ahora estoy mas motivada que nunca, aunque no creo que pueda volver a la época en la que publicaba 3 vezes al día.

Agradezco muchísimo a las personas que siempre me mostraron apollo, muchos de ellos ya no se encuentran más en esta plataforma o están en hiatus pero sigo a la espera de que vuelvan.

୨୧ ㅤ🏺 ⠀⌒ ⠀ pt

Eu acho que esse texto vai ser completamente diferente do que está em espanhol 😅

Bom, primeiramente quería agradecer a todos que sempre me apoiaram, todas as mensagens de carinho que tenho resevido me deixan extremamente feliz.

No inicio foi um pouco difícil, teve algumas horas nas que pensei em desistir e acabei ficando em hiatus em varios momentos, tudo por falta de motivação, mas agora não pretendo me afastar de novo da plataforma, talvez não possa voltar a época na qual fazia 3 post por día po falta de tempo, mas prometo que irei aparecer aquí todo dia.

Muitíssimo obrigada a todos de verdade, cada vez estou mais perto da minha meta que é chegar nos 10k, sei que não será fácil mas não irei desistir!

(Peço desculpas caso não tenha escrito algo corretamente. Para quem não sabe moro no Brasil más sou estrangeira, minha lingua materna é o espanhol)

୨୧ ㅤ🏺 ⠀⌒ ⠀ eng

I am very very happy to have reached this number of followers. That so many people like what I publish and what I usually do with a lot of love leaves me super happy. I am getting closer to my goal, which is to reach 10k, I am confident that I will be able to reach that number but I know it will not be easy.

At the beginning it was a little difficult and I ended up getting discouraged several times, I had some hiatuses simply because I didn't feel like doing anything, but that's over and now I'm more motivated than ever, although I don't think I can go back to the time when I published 3 times a day.

I am very grateful to the people who always showed me support, many of them are no longer on this platform or are on hiatus but I am still waiting for them to return.

    𓏲     ♥︎ special thanks ! And favs: @ya-ttori @markirlse @yu2ki @dollijongs @chilumitos @s-eulg @astroke @galavande @dollienini @v6que @flwzai @fuckici @fairytopea @gigittamic @s-heon @s-telar @im4yeons @kiyeuo @v6mpcat @bunnievr @jkghost @bambicito @taebook @s2bunnys @jjangblog @wiotas @chifuy-u @chnellir @hwchaey @yunjidoll @tookio @i-nabi @umiena @yeritos @blossomook @hechizadas @fleurjns @alfaire @sugarino @i6gyu @mimiszz @eun-luv @rosabie @yoshiks @yoonitos @y-vna @i04rei @y-unjin @japnz @chaey2k & more in the coments!!!!!

[kayyishwr]

Saat kau tampil di depan, coba periksa yis; yang ingin kau tampilkan apakah hanya sebatas dirimu saja, atau keagungan Dzat yang menciptakanmu

Saat kau berbicara, coba periksa yis; yang kau bicarakan secara bangga itu dirimu saja atau kehebatan Al Quran yang menjadi pedoman hidupmu

Saat kau menulis, coba periksa yis; yang kau tulis itu sekadar membuat namamu terkenal atau kau mengenalkan Baginda Nabi Muhammad, yang karena dialah kita sebagai umatnya diperintahkan membaca

Periksa terus ya yis! Kau boleh saja dikenal, diketahui banyak orang, atau sering tampil di depan; tapi itu dalam rangka untuk mengenalkan keagungan Allah, kehebatan Al Quran, keteladanan Rasulullah

Atau jikapun tidak, itu bukan masalah bagimu yis, karena kau memang bukan siapa-siapa, tapi teruslah belajar, teruslah merendahkan hati, teruslah meminta nasihat, teruslah meminta hidayah

Bukankah yang Allah nilai dari seorang manusia itu ketaqwaannya? Semoga dengan itu Allah ridho padamu yis!

-2024

[andromedanisa]

tujuan, kita.

pelajaran yg didapat hari ini;

Pada kehidupan yang semakin dewasa rasanya begitu melelahkan, terkadang kita menemukan atau seringkali memutuskan untuk merubah arah jalan kita agar segera sampai pada tujuan kita lebih cepat. hidup dan serangkaiannya yang seringkali membuat kita lelah, terkadang tidak memberikan kita kesempatan untuk sekadar memberi jeda beristirahat atau bahkan untuk sekadar bernafas.

lalu munculah pertanyaan dalam diri perihal tujuan hidup yang sedang kita jalani sampai detik ini. kenapa Allaah menciptakan kita, apa tujuan yang sesungguhnya kita hidup di dunia, mengapa ada banyak penderitaan, mengapa tidak bahagia saja dan serangkaian pertanyaan lainnya.

saat-saat genting sekalipun, rasa putus asa dan ingin keluar dari pekatnya permasalahan terkadang seringkali memunculkan pertanyaan perihal mengapa kita diuji dengan sebegitu hebatnya. mengapa ujiannya begitu berat sekali hingga terasa sesak dalam melaluinya. lalu mempertanyakan diri, sanggupkah badai ujian yang berat ini terlewati.

rupanya satu persatu permasalahan itu terurai dan terselesaikan. bagaimana bisa? siklus kehidupan rupanya memang demikian.

Allaah tidak menciptakan kita tanpa tujuan. apa yang Allaah lakukan kepada kita, pasti ada sebuah tujuan dibaliknya. dan tentu saja kita paham, bahwa seluruh hidup ini adalah ujian yang setiap dari diri kita pasti mengalaminya, bahkan rasa bahagia sekalipun. jadi kita tidak akan lagi berkata,

"bagaimana mungkin orang baik hidupnya sulit dan orang jahat hidupnya menyenangkan dan terlihat bahagia."

padahal kita semua tahu, selevel nabi saja ujiannya tidak mudah. kehilangan orang yang beliau cintai berkali-kali, difitnah, diusir, dicaci maki, dan penderitaan lainnya yang masih banyak lagi. dari sini kita belajar, bahwa semuanya atas izin Allaah. segala rasa sakit, ataupun rasa bahagia, semua atas izin Allaah.

Kami akan menguji kalian , benar-benar menguji dengan berbagai macam hal.

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ

"Dan Kami pasti akan menguji kamu dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa, dan buah-buahan. Dan sampaikanlah kabar gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar." (QS. Al-Baqarah: 155)

maka tidak ada keadaan yang Allaah berikan kepada kita yang tak memiliki tujuan. dari semua tujuan itu akan selalu ada hikmah di dalamnya. jika ada yang bertanya, "lalu apa hikmahnya?"

ya, nggak tahu. barangkali mungkin saat ini belum tahu hikmahnya, tapi bisa jadi kita akan menemukan jawabannya nanti. atau barangkali kita tidak akan pernah mendapatkan jawaban dari pertanyaan itu. maka yang perlu kita ingat dan yakini lekat-lekat. bahwa Allaah telah merencanakan semuanya, kita hanya diminta untuk bersabar sampai pertolongan Allahah itu datang kepada kita. dan sabar tak berarti pasrah atau berdiam diri. kemampuan untuk berdoa, meminta pertolongan Allaah adalah salah satu bentuk sabar yang diupayakan diawal kita ditempa sebuah badai.

upayakan apa yang memang bisa diupayakan, jangan berputus asa pada apa-apa yang sudah menjadi tujuanmu hingga akhir. percayalah, dalam setiap mimpimu apalagi itu sebuah kebaikan, Allaah akan menolongmu setiap waktu tanpa jeda, tanpa tapi. sebaik itu Allaah kepada diri kita. lalu mengapa kita memandang selain kepadaNya?

maka telisik kembali, tujuan apa yang sedang ingin kamu upayakan? semoga Allaah menolong diri kita setiap waktu untuk mendekatkan kita pada tujuan yang sedang kita upayakan.

menilik kembali || 15.21

[ffahraa]

121

In my "I don't know how, but Allah will" era.

Seseorang yang terbiasa, "nanti gimana" pun bakal menemui fase, "gimana nanti" sambil insyaallah-Ya Allah-Ya Allah.

Tapi nggak papa, wajar. Memang seharusnya titik terendah dan nggak enak dari hidup kita, menjadi pengingat kalau: kita mah apa tanpa Allah. Juga menyadarkan, kalau Allah itu tempat berkeluh-kesah paling aman.

Bahkan doa dan keluhan nabi-nabi kita saja diabadikan di Al-Qur'an.

اَشْكُوْا بَثِّيْ وَحُزْنِيْٓ اِلَى اللّٰهِ وَاَعْلَمُ مِنَ اللّٰهِ مَا لَا تَعْلَمُوْنَ ٨٦

"Hanya kepada Allah aku mengadukan kesusahan dan kesedihanku. Aku mengetahui dari Allah apa yang tidak kamu ketahui." (QS Yusuf: 86)

Jadi, jangan putus asa dari Rahmat Allah ya. Tetap berprasangka baik, kalau doa-doa baik dan usaha kita akan terbayarkan suatu saat nanti.

وَلَمْ أَكُنۢ بِدُعَآئِكَ رَبِّ شَقِيًّا

‘‘dan aku belum pernah kecewa dalam berdoa kepada Engkau, ya Tuhanku.’’

@ffahraa

My lock screen rn. Iseng buka Pinterest, nemu gambar + quote bagus. So I made it ✨

P.s. : Allowed to save (sorry nggak HD)

[jieunoclock]

Love Your Feeling (JJK) || Chapter two

- Making Mistakes₊˚⊹♡

He looks in my eyes, tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You look good today” he says. That's it, I kiss him.

Pair: jjk x femOC, college students, best friends

Word count: 6.6k

Warning: this chapter includes explicit scenes⚠️

masterlist || taglist

!Friends to Lovers, Protective Brother, Secret Dating, Friends with Benefits, Angst, Mature content, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff, Smut, Mentions of Alcoholism and Abuse

——————————————————————₊˚⊹♡

It's a perfect warm spring day, perfect for a party. I see the bus coming into my peripheral vision, looking up from my phone. AirPods in my ears, blasting some ransom hype playlist Spotify made for me. I check in and sit down.

Last party I've been to must've been a few weeks ago, so needless to say I'm quite excited for tonight. Need to get my mind off of school for a second. The bus ride feels slow. Arriving at Jia's and Nabi's place, a little before 6.30.

They only live 5 minutes away from campus. Bought their own little apartment when they enrolled here. It's nothing fancy, right outside of the campus area, into an alley. It's mostly 20+ year olds living here since it's so close to school.

They all got to know each other over time. To the left are the residential units. They look like the big Minecraft houses. The two story oak plank houses, with double doors, staircase in the middle and a farm in front of it.

It's basically like that. Big two story house, staircase in the middle of it, leading to two doors. One on the left and one on the the right.

It's basically split in four parts. Jia and Nabi live on the left upper floor. The bottom floor belongs to someone else.

On the right side you have the exact same layout, only mirrored. The person who has the top floor is blessed with an attic, whilst the bottom floor can enjoy a little bit of garden space.

It might look small, but it's actually not. It'll surprise you how spacious it is. There's 3 of these units pasted next to each other, Counting a left and right side of a unit one.

On the right side of the alley there's a convenience store. At the end of the path it curves left around the store, to access either the big road or more units.  Never been there, so I wouldn’t really know.

Jia and Nabi live in unit one. the first one to your right, as you walk through the alley. I go up the stairs, turn my body to the left and ring the doorbell.

Staring at the welcome mat beneath my feet, I hear some rummaging behind the door. At the same time I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and I look to see who’s approaching me. It’s Minnie.

"HEYY!" I say opening my arms to hug her. "Missed you yesterday you know" I smiled.

"Sorry" she giggles, smile from ear to ear.

We hear a big thud from behind the door, turning our heads to where the sound came from. "Ouch"

I try not to laugh, pressing my lips together and covering them with my hand. Then the door swings open. "FINALLY!" Jia says

"We're on time Gi" I say setting foot in their house.

“EVEN ME!” Minnie says. She does tend to get late.

"Expected you earlier" she says walking past us, running upstairs. Both Minnie and I follow her, to the attic. They've got two bedrooms, a bathroom, living room and a kitchen, on the first floor.

They turned the entire attic into a walk in closet, devided into two parts. One side for Nabi, vanity on the left wall. Other side for Jia, mirroring Nabi's side.

"So.. I was thinking" Jia starts "Black denim, mini skirts" she smiles.

"I hear ya" I say.

She starts frantically looking through her closet. "We need to look hot and sexy, but also casual"

"Gigi it's just a house party" Minnie rolls her eyes, sitting down in her vanity chair.

"Kai's house party" she says "Wrong.. the football teams house party" She answers. Tilting her head back,  dyed platinum blonde hair hanging over the back rest. "Yeah and Kai is gonna be there"

She continues pulling out pieces of clothing from her closet, occasionally moving to Nabi's side to find specific pieces of clothing. Slowly creating 4 different, matching outfits.

"Where's Nabi at?" I wonder. "Oh! She's getting groceries, she's cooking pasta" she answers. Head buried in between the clothes.

There's not really much to do for me. Nabi's in charge of dinner, and Jia's in charge of the outfits.

Outfit one:

Classic black denim mini skirt, has a light wash to it. White crop top on top of it. White socks, and platform converses for foot wear.

Outfit two:

Same classic black denim mini skirt, with the light wash to it. A black crop top. And again the same white sock, and platform converses.

Outfit three:

Black denim mini skirt again, it has a star on the right side of it. Classic black crop top. White socks, black adidas campus shoes.

Outfit four:

Black denim mini skirt, this time it ruffles midway through. Instead of the usual tight fit. White crop top. Again white socks, white new balance 550's. It's certainly matching.

"This one's for Minnie" she says. Grabbing the stacked pieces of clothing in one hand, the shoes in the other.

"Ruffles for you" she smiles, eyes sparkling. Stretching her arms out, handing her the outfit.

"No platform for you two since you're the tallest ones" she once smiles again. Chin down a little. Eyes up, looking at Minnie through her lashes.

It's true, we're not specifically 'tall'. Nabi and Jia are just really short. Had fought about it many times to see who’s taller. Since Nabi and I only have a height difference of two centimeters. The rest doesn’t need discussion, Minnie sticks out compared to the rest of us. And Jia well… you can certainly see she’s the shortest. Shes 153cm, only wears platforms to appear taller. Minnie is right about 167cm. I'm next reaching 160cm.

She walks back to where she's put the different outfits, then we hear the door open. It must be Nabi coming back from the store, she's a really good cook.

There was this time. I couldnt to stay home, for many reasons. Ran to their unit, crying. Phone was smashed, cards left at home. I was unable to pay for the bus, took me a while to get there. They took me in for about 3 weeks, until I decided it was enough. Couldn't keep living under their roof for ever.

Nabi even gave up her room for me, slept in a bed with Jia the entire time. They told me not to worry, and that I'm welcome anytime. Just felt like I was being a burden sometimes, when they had guests of family over.

Needless to say I know what her cooking tastes like, and it never disappoints.

"NABS COME UP HERE, BRING WINE!" Jia yells, from her closet. And not much later, Nabi comes upstairs. Four wine glasses, and a bottle of rosé in her hands.

"Heyy!!" She says to us. Lifting the bottle of wine up in the air, swinging it a little as she smiles. Scurrying over to Jia's vanity, the one Minnie's sitting at again.

She places down the four glasses, and fills them with the rosé.

"Ohh we're matching matching?" She asks. looking up at Jia, giving her, her glass.

"What? How could you tell?" I say laughing within the words. Utterly confused, I mean there's still three outfits lying there.

She turns around, looking at me. "Do you really think she'd give you the platforms? It’s an easy giveaway, you're second tallest" she explains. It’ll always be a petty competition. You’re taller, you do it! Whilst the gap isn’t even that big. Jia shrugs, satisfied smile plastered on her face “What can I say, she knows me” I gotta give her that.

Then Nabi walks over to me, gives me one of the glasses she's holding and sits next to me on the stool. The kind of stools you see in one of those fancy walk in closets, I guess you could call this a fancy walk in closet.

"Sooo.. Minnie" I laugh, leaning over to look at her, past Nabi. "Who's the lucky guy?" I raise my eye brows. She groans, leaning her head back once again.

"You know we'll find out one day, especially with Jia's detective skills" Nabi says.

"Oh please let me know once you do, I'll enjoy the privacy in the mean time" she answers, sipping her wine. Everyone just sighs, clicking their tongues.

"Okay okay, calm down" she says, Signing with her hands to 'sush' us. "He's tall, black hair, broad shoulders, he's got thick lips and is utterly handsome, he's funny, a gentleman and he goes to our school" she says.

"Oh god, do we know him?" I ask. "Stop no this is so exciting!!" Jia exclaims. Minnie just stays quiet, keeps on sipping her wine.

"C'mon, show us a picture" I say, but all she does is just shake his head. "Someday babes, just not today" she laughs.

"Enough about mystery boy, you guys should get changed."

"Here" Jia says, grabbing My outfit. The one with the star on the skirt, and gives it to me.

Walks back to the two outfits that are left. Grabs the one with the black top, and gives it to Nabi. Getting all of us changed, Jia then does our hair and makeup. Doesnt forget to drench herself in glitter spray, shes always so glittery. It suits her personality though.

All of us are already have a hard time getting out the glitter she leaves on us, let alone if we spray ourselves aswell.

Nabi cooks us dinner, chicken pasta. Already drooling at the name of it. Usually with a bunch of garlic, but not today. They're planning on getting it on with their crushes, what worse than to smell like a humanied piece of garlic. It tastes delicious though, even with the lack of garlic.

——————————————————————————

"Alrightyy let's go!" Nabi cheers

We all down the shots infront of us. Shake away the burning sensation in our throats, and walk towards the door. Asses nearly out, but still casual enough for it to not be weird.

I secretly I hope the outfit grabs the attention of a certain someone, won't admit it to them though. Though I wear mini skirts more often, it’s nothing special for me.

We walk over the big of campus. Dark out, all four of our arms intertwined with each other. I can hear the party's music from far, the cheers of people. It makes me feel excited, sounds like tonight will be fun.

Jia is immediately welcomed by many people, won't take her long to find Kai.

I look around the room, filled with people. They've got drinks in their hands, talking to their friends. Some are even dancing.

It doesn't take me long to spot the kitchen. Sometimes I think my kitchens dirty, this takes it to a whole other level. I grab Minnie's hand from behind me, sign to her that I know where the alcohols at.

We walk past Jia and Nabi, who are still saying hi to random people. I place my hands on front of me, on the kitchen counter. Stretched out, leaning on them.

"So, what you want 'm lady?" I ask Minnie.

"I have a strong desire for a vodka sunset ma'am" she replies. Pursing her lips, keeping a formal tone to her voice. "It is my pleasure" I smile, turning around on my heels.

Found the orange juice, in the fridge. and some strawberry syrup next to it, on the counter. Vodka wasn't difficult to find, and so I have all ingredients to make a 'vodka sunset', my specialty.

I see Jia and Nabi walking up to us, automatically assume they'll want sunsets too. Put them in front of them, as they sit down.

“Welcome ladies!” I hear behind me.

The look on Jia's and Nabi's face gives away easily who's standing behind me, so I turn around. Keeping my cool, hear absolutely going insane.

"Hello boys" I say, we all smile. "Craving some sunsets? It's my specialty" I look up at Taehyung standing in front of me. He’s so gorgeous, even up close. As much as you can call it 'in front' though, they're not that close.

They're standing there as if they're in a movie, clearly popular guys. Taehyung, Kai and Jimin. He laughs "Sure" And so I make three more sunsets. I could get addicted to that laugh, feel like I’m gonna fall to my knees just be looking at it.

"Extra sweet for the pretty ones amongst us" I joke. Clearly flirting, as I look up into Taehyungs eyes.

We all say cheers, down our shots.

"Damn, these really are your specialty" he says. Jia and Nabi are clearly eyeing the other two boys.

"So.. you guys party a lot?" Jimin asks. Jia looks down, shes shy. Shes never really 'shy', shes the social butterfly amongst us. Seems like she might really have an eye on Kai, standing next to Jimin.

Nabi had decided to sit down on the bar stool, that's placed beside the kitchen island. Legs crossed, chin leaning on her hand. Batting her eyelashes, as Jimin speaks.

I’m standing closer to the guys, therefore decide to answer his question. "Jia does! Personally not really tho" Turning my head to look at the girls, behind me. Jia looks up. She smiles softly, and raises her hand a little.

"We noticed some.. new followings on insta" I say teasingly. Taehyung laughs a little. He looks down at the floor, his hand reaching for the back of his neck. I swear I’m going insane.

"Aha yeah.. well we noticed some fangirls so"

I try not to laugh at that, smiles obvious on my face. Close my eyes, and shake my head just a little. Before turning my heels, back to the kitchen island.

These men i swear to god.

He’s charming, Taehyung. I’ve heard the stories, girls go feral for him. Talking so casually to him like this, makes me feel as if I have a chance with him. Works me in my delusions, something I’ve dreamed of for months now.

"Another round?" I look around myself, everyone agrees. So I make 7 new sunsets. We talk, we have fun. Nabi started talking to Jimin, finally. And Jia to Kai. Minnie wondered off, probably meeting her boyfriend somewhere.

——————————————————————————

"So why haven't we spoken before" he laughs. "I don't know" i respond, rolling my eyes playfully.

"Maybe because I don't want all of the girls in school to hate me! I don't know our status are just too different I guess" I laugh. It's true. He's a popular school jock, I'm a well.. a normal student.

"Jia is quite popular, could've gotten to us through her for sure" he answers. Sorta is what happened. If it wasn't for Nabi and Jia's fangirling, i wouldnt have sat here.

We're sat on a couch at this point. It's late, don't know what time though. It's still full, it's a Saturday so I don't expect anyone to leave soon.

Taehyung is sat next to me, my legs over his lap. Too far gone to go insane, we're chatting nicely. Some girls walking past have eyed me, but the amounts of alcohol I've had by now makes me not care about that.

With the stress of all the homework and tests I've been having, I feel like I'm allowed to treat myself. "You want another drink?" I say, getting up from the couch.

"Oh no I'm alright" he says. I get up, and walk back to the kitchen again.

Working myself through the crowd of people, there's not too many people though. Stumbling across the room, nearly tripping over my feet multiple times. I manage to get myself to the kitchen counter. "Ugh what do I fancy~"

I lean onto the counter with the palms of my hands, rocking on my feet a little. One of them red, American, cups will do. I scan the messy counter, different kinds of alcohol, different brands, different sodas.

I could kill for a vodka Red Bull actually, doesn't matter that I've probably already had enough alcohol for the day.

Can't even bother to measure my drink out, it's probably gonna taste like shit. And when I take a sip, it confirms my assumptions.. yeah tastes like shit.

I turn around, decide to make my way back to Taehyung.

This is why I hate partying. There's sweaty people crawling the place, and I don't even have to bother with the cleanup. Can't imagine what a real club is like, this is just a normal house party.

I do have to say, it loosened up my conversations with Taehyung. I'm not particularly the shy type, just don't like stepping out to others that much. Especially since Taehyung and I are in such different status levels, it would've been weird if I just randomly started speaking to him. Gosh he'd laugh in my face if I’d done that.

I never expected him to be this nice though, he seems actually interested. Well he shows interest in my private life. Looks at me a certain way that makes my cheeks burn hot. And for what reason? He doesn’t like me. We literally just met. I could definitely see him being my first boyfriend, have been.. I mean can you blame me? He’s complete and total bout-

What..

I stop my tracks, eyes wide. I feel as if I'm somewhere I shouldn't be, as if I just caught someone and should apologize profusely.

In the small amount of time it took me to get my drink and get back, he managed to move onto the next girl.. someone who's a lot easier than me apparently.

Took him too long to get into my pants and figured to just get some easy slut to do the job or something?

There's.. a girl. On his.. lap? Really?

Five minutes, FIVE MINUTES ID BEEN GONE??

God why do I even care, I've known the guy for what. Two hours? Still the short scene, makes my world spin a little.

I chug down the drink I had just gotten, and go back to the kitchen to make another one. More vodka in it than last time, tastes even more disgusting than the first one. Chugging it down, nearly gagging, hanging over the sink.

"YOO BUNNY" there's only one person who calls me that. "Didn't expect you here"

He stands next to me, ass leaning onto the counter. Arms crossed, looking into the crowd.

I look up at him, out of breath as if I just puked my brains out. Eyes pained. "You alright?" Jungkook asks.

"Uhm" I clear my throat. "Yeah no ofcourse" I say whilst shaking my head.

"Why are you here?" Stupid question, anyone can just come in and join. Don't need a special invitation or anything.

"Well, sorry for interrupting Yun. Let's dance, it'll take ur mind off of things" He tends to be be the kind of person that takes your mind off of things, rather than talking about it. If I do need to have a serious talk, he's always there for me.

He grabs my wrist, and drags me to the dance floor. There isn't really a 'dance floor', the living room has just been repurposed as one.

The world spins a tiny bit, just nothing too bad. I don't feel like I'm about to throw up anymore, like I've felt copious amounts of times. I genuinely hate it.

I have my back turned to the sofa, Taehyung and I were sitting at. I didn't check if he was still sitting there, as we walked over. But the way Jungkook shifts his gaze between me and the sofa, has me guessing that he is.

"Gon’ tell me what happened?" He asks

I keep my mouth shut, not wanting to talk about it. "Wanna make him jealous?" He then asks again. I raise my eyebrows. "Jealous?"

He doesn't say anything. He places his hands on my hips, to make me step closer. He then takes my arms, and places them on top of his shoulders behind his neck.

He placed his hands on my hips again. Moves his hips himself, swaying to the music. Guiding my hips with his hands to do the exact same thing, 'swaying to the music'.

The moment, somewhat caught me off guard. The alcohol is getting to my head, and it's making me that that Jungkook is looking a little too good tonight.

It's probably the way my stomach just turned, when I saw Taehyung there. To have someone's attention feels nice. It's dark in the room, music is blasting through my ears. And all I can seem to focus on, is the way he's so in the moment.

He seems so unbothered, faint smile on his face from the drinks he's had. The smallest trail of sweat running down the side of his neck, because of how hot it is in here. Yet he doesn't smell bad, good even.

"Yun!" He says, raising his voice just a little bit. "Huh what?" I say, shaken out of my own thoughts.

"Taehyung, he's watching" he nudges his head a little, to where Taehyung was sitting. Now knowing that Taehyung is watching, I wanted to get revenge.

Taehyung probably wouldn't even care, but atleast it's for my peace of mind. Anyone can tell the droopy, sad, expression on my face. I really just want to leave.

But still I choose to not admit to that just yet, focusing on Jungkook once again. Following his guide, to dancing together.

Though, I feel like my emotions are making him feel sad as well. "You here with someone?" I ask him.

Im done with this party, it's been an emotional roller coaster. I was having fun, and I'm letting some useless boy ruin that.

He shakes his head. "Can I stay at yours?"

I don't want to go home, be put up with Yoongi. He'll see right through me, will investigate who hurt me. Just to run off and hurt them.

On one hand, it's nice to have someone care like that. On the other hand, it hurts me too. I keep being left alone, dealing with myself. And having to take care of mum, with Yoongi ran off.

I'm just not in the mood for it tonight. Plus, I've stayed at Jungkooks house copious amounts of times.

He doesn't seem to have a problem with it. Leading me out of the house. Him up front, hand stuck out behind him to stabilize me a little.

He doesn't live too far. But walking is certainly the longer route. Will take a while.

Jungkook is definitely a better drunk, than me. I can tell by the way he looks, smells and acts, that he's had quite some drinks. Though he's still able to walk properly, act somewhat normal.

Were walking on the sidewalk, I try not to stumble. Focusing on the pavement, watching my feet closely. One foot in front of the other and switch. But it doesn't work, I trip. Face down.

"Ah!" I immediately reach for the stinging sensation on my knee. It's not terrible, nothing I'd usually cry over. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

"Nayun! Are you okay?" Jungkook immediately rushes over to me. "Ah yeah, my knee just hurts."

I sit down on the ground, as Jungkook kneels beside me

He grazes his fingers over my hurt knee, blows on it. “Just a little scratch, can you walk?” He asks as he helps me up.

I’m on the verge of tears, world crashing down. As if he knows, he crouches down in front of me, signing for me to get in his back. “U sure you can handle my weight” I ask. “Yun. don’t even start, I can handle you perfectly fine” he reassures me.

I get on his back, even though I could’ve just walked myself. The gesture is nice.

Not really in the mood to talk we eventually reach his apartment. He shares it with his friend, Mingyu. He’s nice, only really see him whenever I stay over.

He sets me down on my feet in front of his apartment, and opens the door for me. “Mingyu’s not home, I can take his bed if you want”

Usually we grab 2 separate covers, and sleep in his bed.

I don’t move, don’t know why. My expression feels droopy, empty, hurt. Mustn’t look nice from a third persons perspective. Can’t seem to take my eyes off him. his fluffy hair, that’s wildly distributed because of his dancing. His big hands that are holding the door open. His pretty face that looks at me as he asks.

“Is everything okay?” Answering him feels too difficult, with what’s going on in my head. I’ve never denied the fact that he grew up to be good looking, but to observe him the way I have tonight? Were there shrooms in the pasta or something?

So I don’t answer at all. switch my gaze to look inside of his apartment, and walk in.

“Go sit on the kitchen counter” he tells me, I silently obey his words. Walking to the kitchen and sitting on the empty counter, next to the sink.

He takes a little before he walks over to me, box in his hands. Places it beside me and inspects my knee. I watch him carefully as he takes the disinfection spray, sprays it on my knee. It stings a little but I’ve felt worse.

“Hurts?” He asks looking up at me. I quickly look at me knee, pretending I hadn’t had my eyes glued on him since he started taking care of my knee. Shake me head, because it doesn’t.

He wets a cloth with warm water and dabs in on the skin, before he dries it of plasters it shut with a band aid.

Hips leaning on the counter, hands on both sides of my legs on the counter. He looks in my eyes, tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I gulp, for some reason.

“You look good today” he says.

Why. Why does he say that? I’m not in the right state of mind to be handling this right now. I’m afraid I'm going to make wrong decisions, decisions I shouldn’t. But he looks so damn good.. so damn good..

My eyes search his face, no expression. I like my lips, clearly some version of nervous. Still somewhere drunk, I cup his cheeks with my hands. Lean in, close my eyes, and kiss him. And he kisses me back, he actually kisses back. He doesn’t move a lot though, but also doesn’t move away.

As if a switch in my mind flipped, I break the kiss. Hands off him. “Omg, I-I’m so sorry” I apologize. Get back on my feet, ready to flee the scene walking past him.

But he catches my wrist, I swing around back to him. Hair flying around me, almost cinematically. And he kisses me again. More forceful this time, pushing my back against the counter again. He brushes a hand through my hair and rests it on my neck. Before placing me on top of it again.

He licks the bottom of my lip, testing the waters. I copy his movements. Tongue exploring my mouth, I let a moan slip. With the amount of alcohol I’ve had today, embarrassing is a stage I’ve far surpassed.

He takes it as a sign. kisses me along my jaw, down my neck. Moving my head to the side to give him easy access. His hands on my waist.

“You look good too I guess” I say. He laughs at that, sending vibrations all through my body.

“Shut up” he says with a slight chuckle in his voice.

“Make me” what in the word possessed me to say that. He’s my best friend, I don’t want this. Expected it to be Taehyung.

He stops what he’s doing, looks me in the eyes. “Sure?” He says. “yes..” I whisper. No, no is what I should’ve said. But it feels too good to stop, feels wrong for it to be him. But feels so good.

As if he doesn’t need telling twice, he connects his lips with mine again. Rougher this time, as if they’ve been wanting it for years. Though it’s just a one time thing. Doesn’t see him like that.

He picks me up from the counter, my legs wrapping around his waist. No idea where he brings me to as my back is turned to the apartment, too busy focusing on his lips.

“Gon make you feel so good” he says between kisses. Until my back hits the back of his bed. Legs still wrapped around his waist.

He takes off his shirt, he’s certainly been working out. Big biceps, soft skin, toned abs. Oh do I love muscles.. “Like the view huh?” He cocks. GOD do I want to roll my eyes at him. But instead I take my shirt off as well. Left in my bra, and skirt.

“Expected someone?” Is the first thing he said at the sight of my bra. “No” I lied. He doesn’t respond. far too occupied kissing my chest now, as my moans occupy the room.

He trails his fingers across my thighs, teasing me. He stops kissing me, looks me in my eyes. Don’t know what to say to him. No words come to mind. Brows furrowed, biting down on my lip.

“What you want bunny” he teases higher up on my inner thighs, should’ve worn safety shorts but decided not to. Wearing a baby pink, lacy thong, that matches my bra.

“Don’t call me that” I say breathily, hate it when he calls me that. Called him bunny once because I thought it was funny, he’d call me bunny too. Mine stuck, his didn’t. He knows I hate it.

“What?.. Bunny?” As he says that, he presses down on my clit. Receiving a soft moan from me. “Seems like you like it” he smirks. Hate that smirk.

He dares to shoot even lower, finger at my entrance. He circles around, not wanting to put them in yet.

I want to speak up, talk back. Tell him to shut his mouth. “I-ah, fuck” failed miserably. Just as I want to tell him off, he dips one finger in.

“Fuck, you’re so wet bunny” that stupid name again. My hand shoots up to his bicep, holding onto it for dear life. “More” he’s not even really doing anything, yet I want his big hands to stretch me out further.

He obliges, adding another finger.

“How bad do you want it bun” he asks, pumping his fingers in and out painfully slow.

“Shut up” I hiss. Though u have to admit, I clench around his fingers as he calls me that.

“Tell me” he says again and still his fingers completely. “Finger me Koo” I look at him, doe eyed. I can feel him fucking twitch against my leg as I say that. He looks at me for a few seconds, completely still “Koo?” He breathes in heavily, leaving a groan as he releases his breath.

He crashes his lips against mine, moving his fingers again. He's certainly skilled to say the least. two fingers moving in and out of me again, curling inside of me, hitting the exact right places. Thumb on my clit circling around it.

My mouth falters open, unable to kiss him back. The back of my head burying deep in the mattress. Eyes shut. Fuck it feels good.

He kisses down my collarbone. If he continues like this I'm actually going to come soon.

"Fuck, Koo" I moan loudly, he can feel my walls clench around his fingers. He stops kissing me. "Look at me when you cum" He says, well.. more like demands. "Look who's making you feel like this yun" I absolutely try my best to look at him, eyes faltering shut before opening them again. "That's it" He praises, That's what it does for me. My orgasm hitting me hard, as I try my absolute best to look at him. Tears nearly peeping through.

Both our heads snap at his door, before we look at each other shocked. "I thought you said Mingyu wasn't home" I say as he quickly pulls his fingers out of me, feeling empty inside. "He told me he was staying at his girlfriends house" quickly closing his bedroom door as the front door opens.

We both find our discarded shirts on the ground putting them back on. I run to his mirror checking if I look presentable. we both stay completely silent, holding our breath afraid to make a single sound.

We can hear Mingyu walk past the door, to his own bedroom slamming his door shut. both letting out a breath we've been holding for far too long.

Jungkook leans his head back against the door. I can see the disappointment in his face. the walls are thin, heard Mingyu in action one time.

I feel disappointed, bad for him. Poor dude getting blue balled. I'm afraid to admit I was kind of looking forward to returning the favour to him.

Who says we still can't?

I walk over to him, as quiet as I can. As soon as I approach him I trail my finger across his abdomen, placing kisses on his shoulder and collarbone.

"Bun? what ar-" I cut him off, shushing him wish a kiss to his mouth. "Just stay quiet" I whisper against his ear. my hands at his waist band, unbuckling his belt and undoing his jeans. dropping down to my knees.

to be honest I have no idea what I'm doing. mimicking things I've seen, and read. Pulling his jeans down a little, placing a kiss on his clothed cock. I can feel he's still rock hard. I can hear his breath hitch as I place a kiss on it.

Not wanting to waste too much time, I pull his boxers down too. nearly jump scaring me as he springs free. I need a moment to register what I'm seeing, I've always seen dicks as something pretty ugly. But having him in front of me like this, makes me think otherwise. He's big. Bigger than I thought existed in real life. But nothing abnormal. "Stop staring" He whispers. I meet his eyes. shaking me out of my thoughts. There's no way in hell I can take all of him.

I place my hands at his base, Notice he's struggling not to moan at my touch. Place a kiss on the side of his cock, licking a long stripe across the vein that goes from the base to his tip. placing a kiss on it as I reach the end. swiping my tongue across his slit, tasting his precum. And take him in my mouth.

I can tell he's struggling to keep quiet, his hand finding it's way into my hair. I try to take as much of him as I can, without trying to gag on him. bobbing my head up and down, moving my hands wherever I cant reach.

Never would I have thought, giving a blowjob can be arousing for the one whose giving it as well. noticing I'm rubbing my thighs together as if I didn't just orgasm around the same fingers that are in my hair right now.

he pushes my head down a little, making me moan softly against him making him groan in response. I look at him through my lashes, eyes meeting his as he was already looking at me.

I squish his balls lightly, sending him over the edge. he pushes my head down hard, tears peeking through the corner of my eyes. he comes down my throat. soft humming coming from above me as he tries his best to stay quiet. warm liquid trickling down my throat as I swallow all of it.

sucking him empty and letting go with a plop. He wipes the corner of my mouth, as I smile at him proudly. "Good girl" he says, making me clench on absolutely nothing.

He puts himself back in his boxers, putting his jeans back on as well as I get back to my feet. He nudges his head to his door that he's still leaning against.

"U can take a shower if you want to. take a tee of mine" I nod at him, swinging around to his dresser stealing one of his shirts. running off to the bathroom.

Been to his house so many times is normal for me to be here.

I walk back to his room after my shower, hair blow dried, big shirt of Jungkook's. he switches places with me and disappears into the bathroom.

suddenly it all feels empty again, quiet. events of this evening reoccurring in my head. Jungkook seemed to take my mind of Taehyung for a little. but now that, that moment is over, it all comes flushing back.

I feel so stupid to think I had an actual chance with him.

I make my way to Jungkook's bed, curling up under his covers. Too empty to even open my phone to see my missed messages. Or to look at TikTok to pass the time.

Time passes so slowly, staring right in front of me. No thoughts running through my mind, but at the same time so many.

Jungkook makes his way back into his room. I didn’t even notice until he was in squatting next to me. tucking a piece of hair behind my ear as I'm laid on my side. I look at him, only my eyes moving to find his.

"you sure you're alright?" I don't want to answer him, feel embarrassed about what happened. I feel so naïve.

"Lets pretend nothing happened okay?" I tell him. He nods. a simple "okay" leaving his mouth.

he walks over to the other side of his bed. back facing me, my back facing him. I feel like I shouldn't leave him in the dark on what happened.

"had a crush on Taehyung" I admit to him, feel like I'm admitting it to myself as I tell him. "Was talking with him at the party for like 2 hours.." he stays silent, not sure if he's listening or maybe already sleeping. "left for a drink, saw another girl on his lap when I came back"

"I felt so naïve, to think he'd like me back. but he just wanted to get in my pants. was devastated when I saw them, felt like I was gonna throw up" I tell him "Oh yeah and then I fell." I add.

He's completely silent. no clue if he's even awake, maybe he's wearing headphones. maybe he fell asleep, I don't know.

"Koo?" I say softly. I get a soft "yeah?" back, almost like a whisper.

"Wasn’t sure if you were listening" I say. there's so much room between us. I left to his house to feel comfortable, to not be alone. knew my brother would be a pain in the arse at home. and if he wouldn't, than mum would be. I feel.. empty, even tough my night was so full.

After everything that happened with Jungkook tonight, how is my mind still with Taehyung? "Koo?.." I say again. "yeah?.." Somehow I’m nervous for what I'm about to ask him, afraid he’ll reject me. Part of me knows he wouldn't. Part of me knows it isn't usually weird. Just after what happened today I'm unsure.

"Can we cuddle?" I ask quietly, Almost embarrassed.

He doesn't reply, all he does I move. Move closer to me in his bed. And as I look over I see him holding his arm up. Open for me to join him. Not a single moment in my mind that doubts rolling over to him.

He wraps me up in his arms as I hug his waist tightly, not wanting to let go of someone else at the moment. So desperately in need of physical touch, is sad.

A tear falls down from my face. too much going on at the moment. too much for me to handle. I know he can feel me sob in his embrace, I know his shirt is getting salty wet because of my tears. he doesn't mention it. caresses my hair and suits circles on my back. even places a kiss on my forehead.

"Back to normal tomorrow m'kay?" He whispers, hearing the vibrations from his chest through my cheeks, are soothing. secretly wishing they could last forever.

I nod, and fall asleep quite vastly.

prev | drabble | next

[edgarhamas]

Di Balik Keshalihan Pemuda Ismail, ada Ayah dan Bunda yang Tangguh

(Poin-poin Khutbah Idul Adha yang disampaikan @edgarhamas di Masjid Al Jihad Kranggan, Kota Bekasi 10 Dzulhijjah 1444 H)

Ibrahim, nama mulia itu terulang 69 kali dalam lembar suci Al Qur'an. Beliau, kisahnya menjadi inspirasi bagi milyaran umat manusia. Namun kali ini aku akan mengajakmu lebih dekat dengan sosok istimewa yang tak kalah hebatnya: sang putra, Ismail alaihissalam. Tadabbur tentang beliau akan ku mulai dengan sebuah pertanyaan: di usia berapakah Ismail kecil saat beliau ditinggal di lembah Bakkah bersama ibunya?

Dalam Kitab Umdatul Qari karya Al Ainiy, kala itu usia Nabi Ismail baru 2 tahun; sedang banyak butuh bonding dengan ayah dan ibunya, sedang saat itu sang ayah pergi ke medan juang di Palestina. Namun lihatlah; sang Ismail bertumbuh menjadi manusia hebat yang lurus pembawaannya, santun akhlaqnya dan lembut budi pakertinya. "Maka Kami beri kabar gembira kepadanya dengan (kelahiran) seorang anak yang sangat sabar..." (QS Ash Shaffat 101)

Betapa takjubnya kalau kita peka, ada fakta penting ketika Ismail mendengarkan perintah Allah lewat lisan ayahnya untuk menyembelihnya. Ayat 102 surat Ash Shaffat mengabadikan momen itu, ketika Nabi Ibrahim berkata, "Wahai anakku! Sesungguhnya aku bermimpi bahwa aku menyembelihmu. Maka pikirkanlah bagaimana pendapatmu!”

Apa jawaban Ismail? Apakah beliau berkilah? Kabur? Lari tunggang-langgang? Menganggap orangtuanya sebagai toxic?

Ternyata jawaban Ismail begitu tulus sekaligus berhati besar menyambut perintah Allah itu, "Wahai ayahku! Lakukanlah apa yang diperintahkan (Allah) kepadamu; insya Allah engkau akan mendapatiku termasuk orang yang sabar.” Jawaban yang hanya datang dari lisan manusia yang keyakinannya utuh dan murni, akidahnya kokoh tanpa banyak basa-basi. Aku semakin bergetar ketika membaca tafsiran ulama, berapa usia nabi Ismail saat ada di momen berat itu?

Ya, para mufassir mengatakan bahwa kala itu usia nabi Ismail sekitar 13-16 tahun!

Muda, tapi cara pandangnya bijaksana, bahkan melebihi orang-orang yang lebih tua dari beliau. Itulah yang membuatku ingin mengajakmu untuk mentadabburi: apa faktor-faktor yang mampu menciptakan mentalitas seperti yang dimiliki oleh Nabi Ismail muda?

1. Kemurnian Akidah jadi faktor penentu lingkungan sebelum yang lain.

Simak apa yang didoakan oleh Nabi Ibrahim ketika pertama kali menempatkan istri dan anaknya di lembah Makkah, "Ya Tuhan, sesungguhnya aku telah menempatkan sebagian keturunanku di lembah yang tidak mempunyai tanam-tanaman di dekat rumah Engkau (Baitullah) yang dihormati, ya Tuhan (yang demikian itu) agar mereka melaksanakan shalat..." (QS Ibrahim 37)

Yang jadi faktor utama yang membuat Nabi Ibrahim tenang menempatkan keluarga di lembah Makkah, bukan karena fasilitas, bukan karena resource melimpah; tapi karena di situ ada Baitullah! Dan visi Nabi Ibrahim begitu murni: agar anak keturunannya melaksanakan shalat. Barulah kemudian Nabi Ibrahim melanjutkan doanya sebagai pelengkap, "maka jadikanlah hati sebagian manusia cenderung kepada mereka dan berilah mereka rezeki dari buah-buahan, mudah-mudahan mereka bersyukur..." (QS Ibrahim 37)

2. Ayah dan Ibu yang Shalih Shalihah

Ismail muda mendapat contoh terbaik tentang keyakinan total pada Allah sekaligus mentalitas ikhtiar yang terbaik dari ibunya: Ibunda Hajar. Kala Nabi Ibrahim meninggalkan keduanya di lembah Makkah yang tandus tak bertanaman itu, Ibunda Hajar bertanya pada suaminya, "apakah yang engkau lakukan ini adalah perintah Allah?"

Ketika Nabi Ibrahim menjawab, "ya", respon Ibunda Hajar begitu dahsyat, "jika memang begitu, maka Allah sekali-kali tak akan meninggalkan kami!"

3. Kedekatan emosional antara orangtua dan sang anak.

Jika kita memerhatikan, saat Nabi Ibrahim mendapatkan perintah untuk menyembelih Ismail, beliau tidak langsung melakukannya dengan tergesa dan kasar. Tidak. Justru, Nabi Ibrahim dengan bijaknya mengabarkan lebih dulu pada anaknya dengan panggilan yang sangat baik, "yaa bunayya!" Wahai anakku sayang. Dan setelah Nabi Ibrahim selesai menyampaikan perintah Allah itu, beliau mengakhirinya dengan sebuah kalimat dialogis, "Maka pikirkanlah bagaimana pendapatmu..." (QS Ash Shaffat 102)

Seorang anak akan tumbuh mencintai model hidup orangtuanya jika memang terjadi dialog yang hangat dan kedekatan yang baik. Moga kita bisa mengambil inspirasinya!

[prawitamutia]

yang Allah ingin lihat

tiga malam dan dua hari sudah saya sakit. cacar air. sepertinya saya tertular mbak Yuna yang dua minggu lalu menunjukkan gejala cacar air. mungkin, karena sudah vaksin, dampaknya mild bagi mbak Yuna. saya sempat juga muncul satu dua bentol saat itu. tapi tiga malam terakhir, saya demam setiap malam dan mendapati bentol-bentol yang semakin banyak setiap pagi.

ini cacar air pertama saya (semoga terakhir). ternyata rasanya luar biasa nggak enak ya. jadi teringat kisah nabi Ayyub dengan ujian sakit kulitnya. belajar dari beliau, rasanya nggak pantas berdoa minta sehat karena selama ini sudah dikasih sehat.

saya juga teringat, beberapa hari yang lalu, stylus tablet mbak Yuna hilang di masjid. adik saya bilang, "nanti kembali itu, mbak. Allah ingin lihat dulu tapi, mbak sabar nggak." benar saja, setelah stylus itu dilupakan, stylus itu ketemu lagi di masjid.

contoh cerita lainnya, Siti Hajar dan Ismail mungkin ya. bukan di Shafa atau Marwah air zamzam akhirnya keluar. tapi, mungkin Allah ingin lihat seberapa berusahanya Siti Hajar.

kembali kepada urusan sakit ini. mungkin Allah ingin lihat ya, saya bisa sabar atau tidak. bisa berdoa meminta diampuni dosa-dosanya atau malah memisuhi bentol-bentol ini.

prompt 11.

kamu, kira-kira apa yang Allah ingin lihat darimu?

[kaktus-tajam]

Mulailah dari Gelisah

“Ada satu pesan terakhir?”

Ketika pada podcast LPDP aku ditanya satu pesan akhir, aku teringat nasihat mendalam dari KH Budi Ashari: “mulailah dari rasa gelisah.”

Eh gimana gimana? Rasa gelisah memangnya positif ya?

Ternyata yang dimaksud di sini adalah rasa keprihatinan pada suatu isu. Pada suatu masalah. Pada suatu problematika.

Rasa gelisah itu bisa amat berbeda di tiap orang. Ia hadir sebagai titipan pada hati tiap individu, yang beragam latar, cara pandang, pengalaman hidup, dan lingkungannya.

Kata kakak saya yang seorang dokter anak… banyaak sekalii bayi prematur di Indonesia yang tidak tertolong karena mahal dan terbatasnya inkubator. Kenapa harus impor inkubator sementara alat ini mudah dan murah dibuat? Kenapa harus mengikuti spek ukuran di jurnal ternama? Padahal realitanya di masyarakat, kamar mereka sempit dan bersebelahan dengan kandang kambing. Mana mungkin cukup? Kenapa alatnya terlalu berat sehingga sulit ditransportasi, sementara pasien kita hidup di pegunungan dengan akses jalan kaki terjal?

Ujar seorang Professor teknik mesin penggagas gerakan inkubator gratis untuk bayi prematur di Indonesia.

Aku sakit kanker kelenjar tiroid di usia muda, usia dimana seharusnya aku bersenang dan bermimpi. Tidak hanya fisikku yang sakit, mentalku jatuh. Padahal aku sendiri kuliah psikologi. Bagaimana dengan remaja dan pemuda lain di luar sana yang sendiri menghadapi sakit kronis? Yang dikucilkan? Yang tiap hari harus konsumsi obat? Yang tiap bulan tamasya-nya ke Rumah Sakit?

Ujar seorang penggerak komunitas pasien penyakit kronis.

Rasa gelisah itu tidak bisa direkayasa.

Rasa itu muncul dari belanja masalah pada realita. Muncul dari ilmu tentang kondisi ideal yang kemilau dari hasil literasi, diskusi, dan keyakinan atas ayat-ayat suci. Semakin berilmu, semakin gelisah.

Semakin tinggi ilmunya, semakin sadar akan standar ideal yang menjadi acuan, dan betapa tidak idealnya kondisi saat ini.

Sesederhana acuan penanganan “door-to-needle-time” pasien stroke 15 menit yang sulit diterapkan. Yang kemudian mendorong tim dokter saraf merevolusioner sistem pre-hospital penerimaan pasien stroke dengan mengintegrasikan alat CT scan di ambulans.

Atau sekompleks kenapa suasana kebodohan, kemiskinan, dan keterbelakangan umat terjadi di tengah masyarakat.. sementara pada kitab suci dan tuntunan Nabi telah dipercontohkan sebagai panduan. Yang kemudian membangkitkan seseorang berjuang mendirikan madrasah. Kemudian memberi akses pendidikan yang kini menjadi aliran amal… dari ribuan sekolah di Indonesia dari bangku TK hingga perguruan tinggi. Iya, KH Darwis, pendiri Muhammadiyah.

Rasa gelisah itu bukan kebetulan.

Dipertemukan tokoh ini dan itu, orang ini dan itu. Dipertemukan bacaan-bacaan buku. Dipertemukan guru-guru. Dipertemukan ujian ini, kondisi itu.

Jadi mulailah dari rasa gelisah. Jika belum menemukan rasa itu, mungkin itu tanda baik dari Allah untuk kita lebih semangat mencari ilmu, semangat belanja masalah, semangat membaca buku. Lalu temukan celah-celah itu. Celah besar antara realita dan kondisi ideal.

Berdirilah di celah itu, rasakan kegelisahannya. persempitlah celah itu, mulailah dari situ.

Nanti akan Allah bukakan jalan untuk menjawab kegelisahannya.

InsyaaAllah.

Nabi Muhammad SAW adalah orang yang amat peduli. Amat khawatir dan gelisah tentang kondisi umat dalam kondisi kebodohan dan kerusakan serta kebiadaban saat itu. Ber-tahannuts di gua Hira, bukan karena menghindari masyarakat, justru karena beliau SAW adalah sosok yang selalu hadir di tengah masyarakat.. Rasulullah SAW merasakan kegundahan, kegelisahan, keprihatinan mendalam.

Wallahua’lam.

-h.a.

Kalau kamu, rasa gelisahnya terhadap apa?