#yea I’m talking about astarion

[cometzombie]

My fucking vampire spawn boyfriend just broke up with me!! Saying that all he wanted me for was protection from his vampire overlord?!? Like what the fuck! If you’re gonna fuck me at-least don’t make ME dinner first

[the-case-book-of-fanfiction]

Love Bites

Love Bites, Chapter 6 // Love Bites {Masterlist}

Ship: Astarion Ancunin x fem!vampire spawn!elf!Tav/reader

Summary: Astarion remembers you, but it's already too late. He's bedded you and remembered the love and life you had together, two hundred years ago, and now he has to make a choice. Does he sacrifice himself, or does he sacrifice you?

Word Count: 9,455

Warnings: 18+, last night alive vibes, Astarion's memory gaps, being gentle with each other, Astarion anticipates being used but is not, vampire bite, mentions of Astarion's sexual abuse (non-con oral), therapeutic talking, reader is protective of Astarion, Astarion's bad at vocalizing his emotions, love confessions, anxiety, putting each other in danger

18+ Warnings: consensual sex, explicit smut, touching, easing into intimacy, oral (m & f receiving), masturbation (m), vaginal sex, consent & check-ins, loving sex, clit stimulation, multiple orgasms, creampie, cum eating, aftercare

Note: Astarion does talk at length about the sexual abuse he's been through (not a lot of it is detailed), so please take care of yourselves as usual and don't read if you're not comfortable!

☟ Continue below the fold ☟

Astarion clung to your arm the entire walk back to your house. You leaned into him, at first surprised by the lack of body heat but seeming to enjoy his grip on you nonetheless. Instinctively, you put your arm through his and rested your head against his shoulder. He hesitantly placed a soft kiss on the top of your head and you hummed happily. 

“I’ve missed you,” you whispered to him. 

Astarion hesitated, wanting to return the sentiment but unsure if he should; he had spent the past two hundred years—or most of them, at least—not remembering you. But when you looked up at him with a soft smile, the words tumbled out, an absolute necessity to say, “I missed you, too. Even if I didn’t know it, I…I did.”

You smiled at him, soft and gentle, like you knew exactly what he was referring to, like you knew he had felt a hollow absence for all these years he hadn’t realized was there until you filled it again. 

There was a glint in your eye that Astarion was pleased to recognize. He bent just enough to let you kiss his cheek. The two of you both smiled the minute your lips touched his skin. 

You gave directions as the two of you walked, telling him when to turn and which way, until you came to a stop at a door. It was illuminated by a golden lamp, spilling over its lovely emerald green paint. The color was like a burst of life against Astarion’s eyes, vibrant against the blacks and greys of his Darkvision. 

The door did not hold the same familiarity as you did. He glanced at you as you unlooped your arms and slid a key into the lock. “Is this…where we lived?”

“No,” you said, glancing back at him. “Your parents still live in that house. Our bedroom’s untouched, though. The bed still unmade, curtains still closed… It’s as it was when you left for work that morning.”

Pain split through his heart. “My parents are still alive?” You stopped, almost shocked, and turned to him with your mouth slightly open. Before you could speak, he barreled on, “They still live in the same house?”

You glanced up at the sky, likely trying to gauge how much time you had left. You pushed the door open and gently guided him inside as you answered, “Yes. They found it too painful to leave. Your… Your mother said leaving it would feel like selling all that was left of you to a stranger.” You were quiet for a moment. You began lighting the wicks of candles, revealing a kitchen. “I still go back sometimes. To sit in our room. Every so often I sit on the roof like we used to. And, uh…your parents don’t know this, but I’ve been slowly sneaking away pieces of your clothes. It’s…comforting to have them near me, even if I’m terrified that by wearing them too long I’ll lose your scent.”

Astarion felt like he’d been struck by lightning. His family was alive. His family was alive, had been these past two hundred years, and they still loved him. “My mother…” he whispered, tears gathering in his eyes.

You paused in your lighting. “Asty? Are you alright?”

His lower lip trembled. “I… I don’t know. I didn’t know they were still… Do they miss me?”

You came over to him and wrapped your arms around him. “They miss you very much, darling. There hasn’t been a day when your mother has not spoken of you, or a day that your father has not stared at your painting.” You looked up at him. “There has not been a day where any of us do not wish to change what happened that day. To prevent you from going to work. To get you home faster. To convince you to take a different route home. Anything to keep you alive and with us.”

I’m still loved. They love me.

He bit his lower lip. “I wish I could see them again.”

“Perhaps one day you will,” you said. “Perhaps we’ll find a way out.”

Astarion smiled bitterly. “Cazador will take that optimism from you.”

You studied him for a moment, clearly wanting to argue. But instead you just gave him your hand and whispered to him, “Come with me, love.”

A nervousness filled his chest. “I don’t want to do this to you… I don’t want to lose you.”

You cupped his cheeks and pressed your forehead together. Your thumbs smoothing over his cheeks comforted him in a way he never remembered feeling before—but surely you must have done this a thousand times, with the practiced way you touched him. “You aren’t losing me. And you aren’t the one hurting me, darling. It’s your master who has done this to us both.”

Astarion shuddered. “Don’t speak of him. Not here. Not when we’re about to…” He bit his lip. “Not when I can have you again.”

You nodded and kissed his forehead. He leaned into it, some of the tension in his shoulders draining away. “I won’t.” You began walking him out of the kitchen, leading him up a set of stairs. “This way, love.”

Nervous in a way he didn’t ever remember being, Astarion followed you up the stairs. He glanced around the humble dwelling you had made your home—covered in paintings and tapestries and knickknacks that made it homey and welcoming—safe. It felt lived in, contrary to many of the homes of nobility he had found himself in time and time again. It wasn’t something he would have ever designed himself, at least not as he was now, but he liked it anyway. 

The door to your bedroom was open. It was a cozy, open room that felt familiar enough for him to pause at the threshold.

You noticed. “I may have designed it to be similar to our old bedroom. It was comforting.”

Astarion’s eyes scanned the room: a large bed in the middle, covered in soft blankets and piled with pillows, a circular rug underneath it, a mirror on the wall next to your wardrobe. Your desk was covered with paints and powders and pieces of jewelry similar to what you wore now. 

“I like it,” he said quietly. “I… We lived in a place like this?”

You nodded, sitting in the chair at your desk. He watched you take off your jewelry and take your hair down. “Our bedroom had a different color scheme and it was a little bit bigger. We had a washroom connected to it and two wardrobes—yours was bigger than mine. And we had a balcony we used to sit on late at night. But we shared a desk and I wore your clothes more often than I wore mine.” You smiled at him. “You used to tease me that if you couldn’t find one of your shirts, it was either in my wardrobe or on my body.”

You stood and closed the curtains of the two windows that let moonlight stream into the room. Darkness fell for a moment and Astarion watched your dim figure move to one side of the bed. You struck a match and an oil lamp flared to life. 

“Simpler than magic,” you explained. Then the two of you stared at each other. 

Astarion didn’t know where to start. He knew how to manipulate his victims into bed with him nearly every night. He knew what to say, how to move, when to smile, when to make the approach. But with you in front of him, suddenly all his best tricks seemed useless. 

You cocked your head to the side, noticing his hesitation. “Astarion?”

“I don’t know where to start,” he whispered. 

“Then let me?” you suggested. He nodded. 

You removed your apron and draped it over the back of the chair. You reached around behind you and loosened the strings of your corset, slipping it off after a moment. It wasn’t exactly graceful, but the movement still made Astarion’s throat tighten. Somehow, your movements—unpracticed for two hundred years—were more alluring than the nobles Cazador made him bed or the unfortunate virgins tripping over themselves to have him. 

It’s because it’s you, he knew. You weren’t just alluring—you were comforting. His body was strangely present, strangely here, as you undressed for him. 

You pulled off your skirt and left yourself in a poet shirt similar to the one Astarion himself had worn until it fell apart and then sewn back together time and time again. You glanced up at him for a moment, your breath catching in your throat. Astarion nodded eagerly, taking a step closer to you. So you pulled the shirt up over your head and stood before him.

Your undergarments were made of delicate lace. Automatically, Astarion reached out to touch them—touch you—then hesitated, looking into your eyes, suddenly afraid his instinct had been wrong.

But you only stepped forward and guided his hand to the fabric covering your chest. His touch seemed to arrest you for a moment before you stuttered out, “You gave them to me. The set was an anniversary gift. Somehow I knew when I dressed this morning I wanted this piece of you close to me.”

Warmth bloomed in the pit of his stomach—arousal, actual arousal, not the response he had forced himself to have when his victims got naked. He felt himself stir in his leathers.

Astarion let his fingers trail over the edge of the lace. Your eyes fluttered closed, your breaths coming in heaves. “Well, I…had good taste.”

You touched his chest, fingers trailing over the gold embroidery of his doublet. “You still do, darling.” You let out a heavy, pleased sigh. “Oh, gods, Astarion, please. Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” he breathed desperately, leaning into you. “Yes.”

You stood on your tiptoes; he bent down. As your lips touched, his arms looped around your waist and settled there, holding you against him. Your lips were soft, gentle, welcoming. You let him take the next step instead of forcing it. It was a kindness he wasn’t sure you knew was a kindness. 

He sucked your lower lip between his. You whined softly and then tried to pull away, clearly embarrassed by your need for him, but it brought a smile to his face. He chased your lips and brought one hand to rest between your shoulder blades, guiding you back to him. He kissed you again, softly at first, then licked your lip, asking for more. You obliged him with a slight smile of your own. 

Your tongues slid together, both of you careful of his fangs. After all these years, Astarion had gotten good at hiding them, even during a kiss—but he didn’t feel the need to hide them from you, only keep your tongue away from them.

One of your hands slid into his hair. He tensed momentarily, bracing for an unrelenting tug, but you only scratched his scalp with your nails. He relaxed against you, falling deeper into the kiss. 

When you parted, it was slow, both of you reluctant to part from each other. Your chest was heaving, your breasts straining pleasantly against the delicate lace. Astarion’s eyes dropped to the sight, mesmerized for several moments. Then he looked back up at you with a smile on your face. 

“I missed you,” you breathed. “I’ve missed that.” You toyed with his collar absentmindedly. But your eyes were fixed on his, clear and resolute, some concern clouding your blown pupils. “Are you alright?”

He nodded. “More than alright. You… You’re so gentle with me.”

“Is that what you want?” 

Quickly, he nodded again, almost desperate this time. He didn’t really want to explain the sudden tears that rushed to his eyes, but judging from the heartbreak he saw in yours, you had guessed his reasoning. 

“Then gentle we will be,” you promised. “Soft. Sweet. Slow. Like our old mornings.” Your fingers found the clasps of his doublet. “May I…?”

“You may,” he said, unbearably happy that you had asked. The feeling grew stronger as you carefully undid each clasp, rather than ripping them apart so fast and so hard that he had to fix them when the night was over. He reached up to help you undress him. 

You took the time to ask him before you removed any clothes. You took the time to admire him as skin was revealed. You took the time to kiss him when he hesitantly asked for it. You took the time to wait when you saw his uncertainty, holding him and stroking his hair. 

Is this what it feels like to be loved? 

When Astarion was left standing in only his boxers, you gently led him to the bed. You hooked your fingers into his waistband and met his eyes. Before you could even ask, he whispered, “Pull them off.”

You smiled at him and did so, your touch still light. You spared his half-hard cock only a glance as you stood back up and met his gaze. Astarion could still see the want in your eyes. But instead of doing what you wanted with him, you turned and said over your shoulder, “Would you like to take mine off?”

“Yes,” he whispered, lifting his hands to undo the clasps of your bra. He slipped the straps off your shoulders after you turned back around to him. He let himself admire your breasts as they were exposed before he dropped his hands to your hips and removed your panties in one graceful move that seemed to surprise you. 

“You were always good, but you’re better at this than I remembered,” you said by way of explanation, your cheeks turning pink. “You were always so shy when you undressed me, no matter how many times you had been inside me.”

For some reason, he felt guilty. “I’m sorry I changed.”

You shook your head, cupping his cheek. “Don’t apologize. Not for that. We’ve all changed. We would have changed whether you had died or not.” Your gaze drifted back down his body appreciatively, then to his cock. 

Skin crawling with self-consciousness, familiar from times having to improvise to explain away the struggle to get hard (especially without being able to explain how little blood he actually had in his body), but stronger now that it was you looking at the weakness that took away from the one thing he was good for, Astarion explained, truthfully for the first time, “I can’t get hard right away, not without blood and…and he starves us. Once we actually start, I can do more, but—”

You put your finger to his lips and lay on the bed. “Will it hurt?”

Astarion blinked at you. “What?”

“Your bite. Will it hurt?”

For a moment, it didn’t process what you meant. Then— “You want me to feed from you?”

You nodded. “I’m more than willing to work you up myself if you’d prefer, but…I’ll admit I’m curious. Besides…you finally have someone who knows what you are and loves you anyway. Bite me. Feed the only time you can.”

Astarion stepped closer to the bed, his hunger rearing its head. “Are you sure you want me to?”

You nodded and gestured him closer to you and, after a single moment’s deliberation that ended with the sole thought of, Fuck it!, Astarion crawled over you. You smiled up at him with a fond amazement. He grinned. “You’ve seen this view before, haven’t you?”

“Often,” you said. “I dreamt of this nearly every night. It’s almost hard to believe you’re right here… I half-suspect I’ll wake up in the morning and none of this will have happened.”

Astarion bent and began peppering your neck with soft kisses. Your blood smelled sweet, pumping through your veins with strength. “Believe me, darling, this is very, very real…”

You craned your neck, exposing the column of your throat to him. Astarion pressed his nose to your pulse point and breathed in deeply. He moaned, his whole body shuddering. You put your hand back in his hair, scratching softly. “Please…” you whispered, and all of Astarion’s restraint snapped.

He drew back enough to bare his fangs and sink them into your throat. You gasped sharply. He would have asked if you were alright if your blood did not suddenly fill his mouth, sweet and tangy and heavy all at once. He swallowed and instantly felt the difference. Bugs and rats were enough to keep him functional, surviving—this was enough to let him live. 

The next few pulls of blood had you whimpering pleasantly and warmth filling his body. Strength returned to his muscles with every mouthful and his chest began to move with the illusion of breathing. He became aware of the throbbing need in his cock and began grinding on your thigh. Your responding gasp quickly became a moan and your arms tightened around him.

Somehow, Astarion knew the exact moment that you had become equals again; he had taken half your blood and any more would kill you. In fact, any more and he would be too drunk on it to stop himself from killing you. 

Drain her. Drink her dry and go back to Cazador with enough strength to escape him.

The thought terrified him. He pulled away from you quickly, your blood dripping down his chin and onto your chest. He licked the open wounds of your neck clean of blood before he sat back and stared down at you.

You were paler than you had been when he started, but your eyes fluttered open and you reached up weakly to wipe the thin trail of blood away from the corner of his mouth. You offered him your thumb and he sucked it into his mouth without thinking, licking the blood from your skin. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, brushing a hand through your hair.

You nodded. “A little woozy, but I’ll live.”

Astarion decided not to tell you how close you had come to not living. “What did it feel like?”

You paused, thinking. Eventually, you said, “Like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It was…intimate. Magical. It was ecstasy in a form I’ve never felt before. Pain that turned into pleasure. I felt…connected with you more wholly than ever before. We always said we were one when we had sex, but that…that was being one.” You met his gaze again and breathed out one word: “Wonderful.”

Astarion couldn’t help it; he kissed you needily, pressing his entire body to yours. You responded willingly, even when the kiss turned into a tight hug that allowed him to hide his face in your shoulder so you wouldn’t see his tears. 

Eventually, you tapped his shoulder. “Sit on the edge of the bed, darling.”

A tingle of anticipation raced up Astarion’s spine—clearly his body remembered what you were going to do, even if he did not. You slid to your knees and spread his legs apart far enough to get between them. He tried to hide his shock; you wanted to pleasure him? Time and time he had been forced onto his knees and made to take a cock in his mouth, but he couldn’t remember the last time someone had done it for him… In fact, you were probably the last person to have done it, years and years ago.

“Darling, you don’t have to—”

You looked up at him. “Do you want me to?”

His chest tightened. “Yes,” he whispered.

You smiled slightly. “Then let me pleasure you, Asty.”

“Okay,” he breathed, his chest heaving with phantom breaths as he watched you lean in. You kissed the base of his cock and a quiet whine escaped him. You dragged your tongue up his length and kissed his tip before you took him into your mouth. He threw his head back, groaning. His eyes fluttered as you sucked gently, licking the underside of his cock every so often. Occasionally you popped off of him to kiss up and down his length and the sensitive area around it.

“Look at me,” you breathed. He did as you asked and you went back down on him, holding eye contact with him. He whimpered and bit his lower lip, muffling the sound. You made a face. “Let me hear you, Astarion.”

His answer was a whine as you licked a stripe along the underside of him. He brought his hand to your head and held you as you licked and kissed him. It didn’t take long for him to give into the pleasure; he began to mumble in Elvish to you until the words couldn’t roll off his tongue anymore and began coming out as moans, both low- and high-pitched. Some part of Astarion was deeply embarrassed by his sounds—but he knew now if he tried to hide them, you’d stop, and, gods above, that was the last thing he wanted. But you didn’t let up again and before he could stop himself or even warn you, he was cumming down your throat. 

And you let him. You pulled off of him only when you were sure he was spent. He flopped onto his back, panting heavily. A thrill went up his spine as he watched you swallow his spend, crawling up on his body to join him on the bed.

“That was… Hells, that was good,” he groaned as you laid next to him, getting perfectly cozy against his blood-warmed body. “How did you…?”

“You taught me,” you reminded him with a laugh. “How else did you think I knew exactly what you liked?”

“You could just have really good instincts,” he said, rolling onto his side to kiss you. He cradled you in his arms, holding you as tightly against his body as he could. You melted into his hug readily.

You pulled away for a moment and just stared at him, your eyes peering into his like you could see his soul. A little nervous, Astarion just watched you, taking in the way your eyes roamed over his face and how your lips easily came up into a happy, satisfied smile.

“What?” he whispered when the love on your face was almost too much to bear.

“Nothing,” you said. Then you shook your head. “Well, it’s not nothing. I…never thought I’d see your face again. Not really, not outside of my dreams. So I’m just… I’m glad to have you back.” You reached up and trailed your fingers across his cheekbone. He leaned into your touch. 

Slowly, Astarion began to return the favor, running his fingers across your body. He watched the way you shuddered beneath his touch, paid attention to when you giggled, noticed when your eyes fluttered shut and your body relaxed. He felt like he was learning how you ticked, but there was something about every movement you made that was almost painfully familiar. He had done this to you before, likely thousands of times, and had enjoyed squeezing your hips in his hands and groping your breasts and kissing every available inch of your skin.

“How many times?” he breathed against your sternum, pausing as he kissed down your body. You hummed and he clarified: “How many times did we do this?”

Your eyes were closed, your face the picture of contentment. “You mean the sex or the touching?”

“Touching.”

“Every night,” you answered. “Every night before we went to bed, whether we were naked or not, whether we had sex or not, we would do this. We’d cuddle and kiss and caress each other until one of us fell into trance or sleep, whatever we decided to do that night.”

“Gods,” he whispered. “I… I didn’t realize it, but I missed it. I think.”

You hesitated for a moment. Then you whispered, “I thought you did this every night.”

“Almost every night,” he corrected. “And…never like this. Never soft. Never gentle. Never…loving. It’s always rough and demanding, brutal.” He glanced at you, expecting criticism, but your face was open. There wasn’t a hint of jealousy that he slept with other people, nor anger that he was complaining about getting laid nightly when you had spent the years alone. So he continued. “I wake up sore and sometimes bleeding in places I didn’t know I could bleed from.”

You curled your arms around him protectively. “Oh, Asty… Love, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said quickly.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t feel bad for you,” you insisted. 

Disagreement coiled in Astarion’s belly, but he didn’t voice it, instead laying his head against your chest. He sighed happily when you began to scratch your fingers through his scalp. He remained like that for a few minutes before the words began to tumble out of him, slowly at first, then gaining momentum and—to his surprise—anger.

“It’s not always…random people from taverns. Sometimes he’ll…assign me victims. I’ll be sent to them. Nobles, mostly, who he wants for his thralls. Sometimes he sends them back out into the world to do his bidding, not keeping them the way he keeps me or my siblings, or draining them into dry, mummified corpses like most of the people I bring back for him. But if I don’t bring them back in the single night he gives me— Well. I’d be scarred horribly if vampires didn’t heal quickly, and even then, I don’t heal as quickly as I should so sometimes I go out the next night still wrapped in dirty cloth for bandages, bleeding through them, expected to bring home yet another meal.” 

Astarion paused long enough for you to have a quick interjection. “You have siblings?” 

“Of a sort. There are six others. Six spawn he made to do his bidding.”

“And are you all expected to…fetch your victims the same way?”

Astarion shook his head. “No. Yousen’s a gnome, for gods’ sake, who’s going to sleep with a gnome and not a handsome creature such as myself?”

You rolled your eyes. “There are plenty of people who find gnomes attractive, even if you don’t,” you chastised. 

He sighed. “But you get my point. He made his spawn from people with…different talents, so to speak, to bring in his meals. But if we fail, we all get treated the same way. Beaten. Bitten. Used. He…he does it to me more than the others. I’m his favorite to torture.”

“You mentioned that,” you murmured, touching his ear gently. His cock twitched with pleasure and he gasped. You froze. “Do you want me to stop?”

Hesitantly, he nodded. “Just— Just for a moment…please.”

Immediately, before he had even finished speaking, you removed your hand from his ear. “Alright.”

Surprise flooded his body. No one had ever listened to him before. No one had ever taken his ‘no’ to be a no. They always kept doing what hurt him, what he hated, what made his skin crawl with disgust and hate and fear. 

But you…listened. You more than listened, you stopped.

“Thank you,” he breathed. “It’s just— I…I’m not quite ready to do anything else yet. There’s so much I want to say because I’ve never been able to before and I don’t… I don’t want to ruin the moment, but…”

“But trying to push through will ruin it anyway for you,” you said, understanding him immediately. “That’s alright. Just keep talking, my love, and I will listen to everything.”

Oh, gods above, you understood him. Astarion felt the strong urge to cry until he had no tears left, all out of relief. Instead, he kept talking.

“He hosts grand, lavish parties from time to time. On those nights, we spawn are forced to pose as his…servants. It’s almost a relief to have a break, but then…then there’s the afterparties. And I’m his entertainment at the afterparties. They’re more…orgies than parties by then and I’m at the center of it all, dressed however he wants me for the night, which is sometimes nothing. He lets the partygoers use me however they wish. He orders them to, in fact. It hurts and hurts and hurts until it suddenly doesn’t because I can’t feel anything anymore.” His tears dripped onto your skin. You cooed softly, trying to comfort him, but you said nothing to stop him, so he kept going. “It’s not just the parties, either. It’s… Well, it’s like this. I’m his favorite to torture, and I’m his favorite to…to use.” 

You made a sound of both sympathy and rage. “Asty…”

Your whisper was lost in his continued tirade. “Whenever he wants, I’m there and I’m meant to do whatever he wants me to do and let him do everything he can to me. The others all know. They know I’m Cazador’s plaything and they think I get…special treatment for it. They don’t see how much it hurts, they don’t see that I suffer every night, because I don’t suffer like they do. No, no, I get to have sex! I get one of life’s simple pleasures while he beats them! So how is it fair that I complain?” Astarion looked up at you, his eyes shining with tears. “How is it fair that I complain?”

“It’s not your fault,” you said firmly. “It’s not. Darling, none of this is on you. Your master is…a leech. Yes, he’s a leech, taking what does not belong to him, forcing misery upon you. Astarion, please listen to me, honey. I mean it. This is not your fault. He is sowing dissent amongst all of you on purpose because it is the only way he can control you. If you all were to band together—”

“We’re his thralls, he can control us anyway,” Astarion snapped. “Anything he wants us to do, we do. It’s why I haven’t been able to stop him from—” He fell silent and buried his face in your chest, an unreasonable shame burrowing in his chest. He knew it was unreasonable; he knew you were at least somewhat right. He had no control over his life, and yet… The shame was there anyway. “Poetry. That’s what he said he carved into me. That’s the scar on my back.”

Automatically, your hand drifted from his hair to his shoulder. Before touching the scar you asked, “Does it hurt?”

“Sometimes. It hurt then, when he had to correct his mistakes because I couldn’t keep still enough.”

“Can I touch it?”

He nodded slowly and braced himself. But your touch was gentle and soothing. Your fingers ghosted across the raised marks and you peeked over his shoulder at it.

“It’s written in Infernal,” you murmured. “Last I checked, that’s not exactly the language of poets.”

Astarion raised his head. “Really? I…I didn’t know. What does it say?”

You shrugged. “I can recognize it, but I can’t read it.”

Astarion sighed and fell back against your chest. 

“What do you want to do?” you whispered to him.

“Hold me,” he breathed.

So you wrapped your arms around him and held him tightly to your body, his head against your chest, his own arms coming around your waist. You held each other in silence for quite a while. Your hand began to scratch his scalp and a gentle sound that was close to a purr escaped him. After a few moments, your hand went back to his ear. When he didn’t protest, you began rubbing his ear lightly.

A soft moan escaped Astarion’s lips. He looked up at you, his hips already beginning to grind into the mattress. 

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” you reminded him. “You are more than just sex.”

“I want to,” he whispered, the statement true for the first time in nearly two centuries. “It’s… It’s you, of course I want to.”

You whimpered quietly at the words and pressed a tiny kiss to his forehead. “Only if you’re sure, honey.”

“I’m sure,” he promised. 

It didn’t take long for the heat in his body to rebuild. You caressed every sensitive spot on his body with care and intimate knowledge of who he was: his ears, the nape of his neck, his Adonis belt, his nipples. You touched him with a reverence that felt almost like worship and made his entire body tremble with need. You suckled on his nipples until he moaned loudly and ripped himself away from you to do the same to you. 

Very quickly you learned to give him control. He hovered above you, sucking hickies into your neck and chest, happily leaving little bites on your tits as he went.

“You can draw blood,” you whispered to him in the middle of a bite and he moaned delightedly, letting his fangs scratch your skin until you bled and licking up the crimson droplets. He met your gaze as he let his tongue linger on a deeper cut and found you looking down at him fondly, toying with one of his curls between your fingers. 

Astarion adjusted to slip a hand between your bodies. He cupped your exposed cunt and grinned at the sight of your head going back, exposing the column of your throat to him.

“I’ve barely touched you, darling,” he teased. 

“And I’ve waited two hundred years for this,” you reminded him. “Any touch is enough, but, hells, please put your fingers inside of me.”

“Needy,” he joked, but did as you asked, spreading your pussy to drag his fingers up your slit. He placed his slick fingers on your clit and began to rub gentle circles. You gasped, your body arching up into his. He chuckled and moved up to kiss you sweetly. His tongue against yours was a balm to the both of you; you calmed down enough to wrap your arms around his shoulders and he felt any lingering doubts slip away. 

You were his. You had always been his. You were not just another victim, you were the woman he loved, the woman he had been so devoted to that he was going to marry you. You were not using him like the others.

You seemed to read his thoughts and filled in the last possibility, murmuring against his soft lips, “I love you, Astarion.”

He moaned into your mouth. A single tear slipped past his closed eyelid and fell on your cheek. 

“I love you,” you whispered again. “You don’t have to say it back. I just want you to know.”

Astarion slipped two fingers into you, curling them deep inside you. You arched into him again, moaning obscenely. He giggled again; if just two fingers could make you this happy, what would you do when you felt his cock inside you again?

He pumped his fingers slowly until your hips bucked into his hand, wordlessly asking for more. He picked up the pace until you began panting. He watched you grow closer and closer to the edge, your body writhing, your eyebrows pinching together, your mouth falling open to let out delicious moans. He was almost tempted to just let you finish on his fingers, but… 

Gods, he wanted to taste you.

He pulled his fingers out of you. You whined his name, pitifully, already begging, already asking, “Why did you stop?”

Astarion’s answer was not verbal. Grinning, he dropped to his knees quickly and shuffled closer to the edge of the bed. He yanked you to the edge, letting your legs dangle over his shoulders, and leaned in. You held eye contact as he pressed a kiss to your clit. Then a second. Then a third. By the time he got to the fourth kiss and latched his lips around your sensitive nub, your eyes were rolling into the back of your head.

“Astarion,” you moaned, your hand twisting into his hair but not pulling.

He began to suck gently, letting the pressure drive you wild. He licked your clit slowly, lavishing attention on it with his tongue, feeling you grow very, very wet against his chin. He dropped a little lower to tongue at your entrance, the taste of your arousal pulling a moan from deep in his chest. You gasped at the vibration, your hips rutting against his face. He chuckled into you and slid his tongue inside you, lapping at your cunt. You were delicious in ways he hadn’t thought possible. He knew that his heightened senses meant that he could smell every bit of your arousal, every emotion inside of you, every liquid in your body—but he had not expected your lust to be infused with your love for him. 

It was a new feeling, a new taste. He liked it. 

Astarion reached up and coated his hand in your dripping arousal. Then he wrapped his hand around his cock and began stroking slowly, allowing himself to enjoy it, feeling the heady rush of blood to completely harden his cock. His hips rocked gently, the pace increasing when he glanced up at you and found you smiling as you panted, your breasts heaving. 

He released himself to bring his hand back up to your cunt. He sunk his fingers into your wet entrance and returned to sucking on your clit. You cried out, your hips bucking, and he grinned against your slick skin. 

“Cum for me,” he whispered against you, loud enough for you to hear his command. “Let me taste you. Cum on my face, darling.”

You clenched around his fingers, moaning the loudest you had all night. There was a fresh rush of wetness and the lewd sounds of his fingers pumping in and out of you grew louder. Astarion slipped his fingers out of you and his tongue back into your cunt to taste you as your orgasm ripped through you. He put his thumb on your clit and started rubbing.

Astarion’s eyes fluttered shut as he tasted your cum. You were sweet, absolutely divine, your ecstasy meant entirely for him. He groaned into your pussy and your legs wrapped around his head, helping to bury him in your slick entrance. He giggled, more than happy to stay there longer and keep licking your cum out of you.

He tapped your thigh when he was done and you put your shaking legs back to the floor. He got to his feet and crawled over you, capturing your mouth in a bruising kiss. You moaned into his mouth, then made a sound of surprise.

“Do you taste yourself on my tongue?” he whispered, looking at you with hooded eyes.

“Yes,” you breathed.

“Good.” He kissed you again, grinding on your thigh to ease the throbbing in his cock. You groaned at the feeling, your arms tightening around his neck. You broke away from his mouth to pepper his face in tiny, loving kisses.

An overwhelming fondness filled him and he pulled away from you enough to meet your gaze. You trailed your fingertips over his cheekbone and then to his ear, rubbing gently again. He hummed happily and opened his eyes to see your face as he whispered, “I love you, too.”

You stopped, your eyes widening, your lips parting. Gods, you were beautiful. “Do you really mean—?”

“Yes,” he breathed quickly and bent down to kiss you again. You hummed into his mouth, pulling his body down onto yours. He paused in his grinding, wanting to be against you more than he wanted the friction.

“I love you,” both of you said at the same time, then burst into little giggles. You nuzzled into each other, Astarion’s cheeks hurting from the smile he couldn’t seem to drop. Then you kissed him and pulled his lower lip between your teeth. You tugged slightly.

Astarion pulled back and then glanced down your body to where his cock rested on your stomach. “Are you ready for me, darling?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

He grinned. “Spread your legs a little wider for me, sweet girl.”

You did as he asked without a second thought and he settled between your legs. He guided himself against your entrance, notching the head of his cock there. He looked up at you again and you nodded. He smiled softly, kissed you once, and then looked back down to watch himself sink into you.

Astarion moved slowly, careful not to hurt you, well aware that you hadn’t been fucked in two hundred years. You sucked in a deep breath, keeping your eyes on him as he pushed into you. Astarion let out a low groan as you squeezed around him, already a tight fit, your warmth and wetness enveloping him. When he bottomed out, you released your breath, your head falling back against the pillows. 

“Are you alright?” he whispered. 

“Yes,” you breathed. “Yes, I’m alright. Gods… You feel…right. It’s…it’s almost as if it were yesterday you made love to me for the last time.”

He bent down enough to kiss your forehead. “Is that what you want? Do you want me to make love to you?”

“Please,” you whispered. 

Astarion began to move. He started with shallow thrusts, trying to allow you time to adjust and get used to the feeling, watching the pleasure on your face as he did. He held himself up with one hand and let the other slide up and down your side comfortingly.

Eventually, you turned your head to kiss his wrist. “More,” you said quietly. When he raised his eyebrow, prompting you, your already flushed cheeks turned scarlet and you amended, “Deeper.”

“Good girl,” he said and let his next thrust bring his pelvis to yours. Both of you moaned into each other. Your breaths came faster as he began to hit that spot deep inside of you over and over again, sure to never go too hard. Then you whispered, “Harder, Asty,” and all restraint left his limbs. 

Astarion lifted your leg to get a better angle and began pounding into you relentlessly, grunting with every thrust. Your moans became punctuated and he slowed down briefly to let you get some air.

Your response was to throw both legs around his hips, tug him down to you, and breathe into his ear, “Don’t stop. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing, darling.”

Astarion moaned happily and hurried back into his fast pace. You pulled him into a bruising kiss and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“Can I touch your back?” you whispered and he nodded quickly. 

“Scratch at me all you want, sweetness,” he replied and your blush darkened.

You settled your hands on his upper back, your nails digging in just slightly as you held onto him. You crossed your ankles at the small of his back and let him drill into you.

Lips, teeth, and tongues clashed into each other as you made out messily, the sound of your spit-slicked kisses drowned out by the rhythmic smacking of your hips into each other. You felt a soreness begin to build, pleasant and familiar and distinctly Astarion.

For his part, Astarion was pleasantly surprised at how present he was. He found himself electing to keep his eyes open to see the ecstasy wash over your face when he wasn’t kissing you and he smiled at every moan, every “Oh gods” you let out, every cry of his name that left your lips. His whole body buzzed with pleasure and his cock throbbed inside of you. He nuzzled into your neck, kissing softly and nipping gently, not taking blood from you this time. He tongued over the bite he left earlier, licking the dried residue of your blood, but the wound had since closed. 

“I love you,” he murmured against your skin. “And I am so sorry that I have been gone.”

You kissed his cheek briefly. “I love you, too.”

Astarion groaned into your neck, then pushed himself back up, fucking into your pussy wildly. “You feel so godsdamn good,” he panted, grinning down at you. “I haven’t felt this way in…a very long time.”

You gently squeezed his hips with your legs and reached up to cup his face. “I’ve missed how perfect you feel,” you said. “How you always hit the right spots.” You moaned as he did exactly that, your entire body tensing, preparing for your orgasm.

“Are you close?” he asked.

“Very,” you breathed. 

He brushed your hair from your face. “Cum whenever you’re ready, darling. I want to feel you spasm around me.”

You whimpered. “Oh, Asty,” you moaned. You relaxed into the mattress. “Go a little harder and I’ll be there.”

He did as you asked, pounding into you fast and hard and just a little bit rough. He reached down to put his fingers on your clit and you let out a shriek, clenching tightly around him. He gasped, his cock twitching at the stimulation. You threw your head back, nearly screaming as you came around him, his name lost somewhere in your shrieks of pleasure. The fresh slickness of your cum surrounded him and he glanced down to find a ring of white on his cock, getting thicker and brighter by the second.

The grunts that fell from Astarion’s mouth were rougher, louder. He squeezed his eyes shut and then forced them open again.

“Darling—” he gasped, his entire body trembling with exertion as he tried to stave off his impending orgasm. “I’m— I’m gonna cum, oh gods, where do you— Where do you want it?”

There was a soft look on your face as you whispered, “Inside. Inside like the last time you ever fucked me.”

Astarion groaned, the reveal bringing tears to his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the tear drop from his lashes. Your thumb came up to his face and wiped gently at his eye. He whimpered, leaning into your touch.

“Cum for me, honey,” you whispered, softly cupping his cheek.

Astarion whined and kissed your palm, burying himself to the hilt. He moaned loudly, tilting his head back, and it quickly became a series of high-pitched whimpers as ecstasy washed through his body. He trembled, holding himself up until he was spent. Then he collapsed on top of you, panting harshly.

You held him close, soothing him with quiet hushes and soft whispers of how wonderful he had done for you. You kissed the top of his head, running your hand through his curls, murmuring your love to him with a smile on your face. 

Eventually, Astarion pulled out of you. You whimpered and he whispered a soft apology. He sat back to watch his seed drip out of you. Fascinated, he gently swiped his fingers through your mixed releases. You shuddered. He held his fingers up to your mouth. You quirked an eyebrow at him at first, then opened your mouth and let him slide his fingers between your lips. Dutifully, you licked them clean.

“I guess we’ve never done that before, huh?” he joked, laying back down on you. He kissed you sweetly, enjoying the taste of you and him together on his tongue. 

You shook your head. “Nope. You only came inside me for one night.” He raised an eyebrow and you explained carefully, “I’d been tracking my cycle so I knew you could cum inside me without us getting pregnant too early. We wanted to wait until after our wedding to start trying for a baby.”

Astarion’s heart nearly broke. “We…we wanted a family.”

You nodded, smiling in a way that made Astarion feel like you knew the pain twisting in his chest at the moment. “We’d told your parents we wanted one the night before you died. They were…ecstatic. You know, I’m almost surprised they didn’t push us to move the wedding up so we could start faster.”

He laughed, more a huff than anything with how exhausted he was. “I take it they didn’t know about us taking the risk of finishing inside you?”

You grinned. “Well… We didn’t tell them, exactly, but I’m guessing they figured it out with how loud you made me scream that night.”

Astarion smirked. “Was it louder than you just were?”

“Oh, much louder,” you said, somehow teasing and serious at the same time. “I thought the entire neighborhood could hear you making me scream.”

“So I’ve always been good at sex, then?”

You shrugged. “Not…exactly. The first few times were a little…subpar in comparison to what our sex life became, the sex we just had. But because it was you, because it was so new…we still enjoyed it.”

The two of you shuffled to lay on your sides, facing each other. You snuggled against his chest and Astarion held you tightly, pressing soft, lingering kisses to every inch of your face. 

“I love you,” he murmured. “And I see why I loved you then. You are…perfect. Considerate. Gentle. You don’t…push for things I don’t want to do. You just know what I like, even after all this time… I had thought I had changed, but…”

“You did change,” you said. “But not so much that I don’t recognize the man underneath all your disguises, all your layers. You are, deep down, still my Astarion.”

He curled more tightly around you. “I like being yours.”

You kissed his nose. “I like it, too.”

The pair of you lapsed into comfortable silence. Astarion listened to your breathing and your steady heartbeat, watching your chest rise and fall against his, moving as if he was also breathing. 

You were so comfortable with him… So vulnerable. You trusted him with your exposed neck, with your bare body, with your love. Hells, how he wished he could remember what he had done to earn that trust. How he wished he could keep your trust.

Some time later, you mumbled into his skin, “It’s two hours until dawn, my love.”

Fear crept back into Astarion’s mind. “I know.”

“We should get going soon.”

He held you just a little tighter. “Not— Not quite yet, darling. Let me hold you for a few minutes more.”

You smiled knowingly against his chest and Astarion wondered how many mornings he had refused to get up, electing instead for a few more minutes in bed with you, your limbs tangled and the sheets just barely covering your lower halves. “Alright.”

Astarion pressed a grateful kiss to the top of your head. His mind began to spin with the beginnings of half-baked plans. The two of you could run, leave now and get as far away as possible. He could simply not go back, he could hide here with you until night fell again and then the two of you could leave. He could bring you back to Cazador with a plan, with a way to kill him or escape him or both in mind.

Every plan fell short. Nothing would work. Cazador had too many eyes in the city to disappear this quickly. 

We’d never escape alive. And while Astarion was certain that death—true death—would be a relief in comparison to the past two hundred years, he wasn’t willing to force that on you.

He glanced at you, still tucked into his arm, a peaceful look on your face. He tried to capture the image in his mind for a few moments, then stirred and gently slipped out from underneath you. He stood and slowly put his clothes back on.

You watched him do so, sitting up on your arms to grin at him. “Now that’s a sight that never gets old.”

Astarion frowned. “Me putting clothes back on?”

You nodded, reaching for your dress. Astarion helped you get it over your head. “It reminds me of our early mornings when you’d get ready for work and I’d watch you primp and preen until you were perfect.” You adjusted your dress, then looked up at him. “Here—let me fix your hair, I messed it up when I put my hands in it.”

Astarion watched your face, your expression twisted into concentration, your tongue poking out just slightly, as you carded your fingers through his curls and arranged them. When you were satisfied, you stepped back.

“There, good as new,” you said and he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

You wrapped your arms around him and gave him a reassuring squeeze. “Are you ready?”

Astarion clenched his jaw. “Are you? Are you sure you want to do this? I…I really shouldn’t do this, darling, I should just take the punishment—”

“No,” you said firmly. “I will never forgive myself if I know you’re out there, getting hurt, because I wouldn’t go with you.”

“Darling—”

“Take me to him,” you insisted. “Don’t get yourself hurt for me.”

Still, Astarion bit his lip so hard he tasted his blood. “But isn’t that what we should do? I’d be protecting you—”

“I would be putting you in danger, Asty,” you insisted, cupping his cheek. “Please. Please do this and we will find a way out of this, alright? Even if it’s a last-ditch, desperate attempt to run—we’ll do something. I promise you, love.”

It won’t be enough. It will never be enough. But Astarion didn’t want to dash your hopes; naive as it was, it was relieving to see hope after two hundred years without it. It almost convinced him that you would be the lucky soul to escape Cazador’s bite, his eternal punishment. 

Astarion offered you his hand. “Are you ready, darling?”

You nodded, slipping your hand into his. “Ready.”

Before you left, you extinguished the lamps like normal and locked your door behind you like it was any other outing. You slipped the key into a hidden pocket in your dress Astarion hadn’t realized was even there. He admired the stitchwork as you walked hand-in-hand down the street. Despite the anxiety wriggling away in his stomach, Astarion let himself enjoy the feeling of walking with you, touching you, enjoying the last few moments of the night air with you. 

The Szarr residence loomed ahead far too quickly, the palace towers casting a horrible shadow across the road leading up to it. Astarion glanced at you as the pair of you passed into the shadows.

“Last chance to back out, darling,” he said quietly. “I can always circle back to an alleyway and drag some poor soul out—”

“No, Asty,” you said gently. “If that was a real option, you would have already done it.”

He sighed and nodded. “Alright. But—darling?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry for what might happen in there, what he’ll do to you.”

You smiled at him. “You don’t have to be sorry, honey, it’s not your fault. Nothing he does to me is your fault.”

“I brought you here,” he insisted. “I brought you here knowing what you’ll have to go through. I could just take the beating, but… I don’t want to, so I’m letting you suffer like I should.”

For the first time, Astarion saw a glimmer of doubt in your eyes. Your steps faltered and he felt the shudder that passed through your body. You licked your dry lips.

“What’s he going to do?”

A painful first bite. Drink you dry. Bury you. Make you dig your way out of your coffin. Trap you in chains the minute you’re free of the dirt. Whip you until you bleed and then lick your wounds. Astarion’s experience flashed through his head. But the fear on your face… He couldn’t tell you any of that, could he?

“Terrible things,” Astarion said gravely. It came out far darker than he intended and he knew what a terrifying sight he was: weak light in his hair, his red eyes glowing in the shadows, his fangs flashing in the dark with every word. You shrank away from him, stopping in your tracks, and inched out of the shadows. 

“Astarion, I—”

Fear gripped his undead heart, tainted his vision, thrummed in his veins. Astarion hissed and lunged, grabbing your arm with a vice-like grip. “Come on,” he insisted, just slightly aware of the growl in his voice. You resisted for just a moment, but Astarion was stronger than you were; it only took a tug to pull you back into the shadow of the tower. 

Servants of Cazador’s opened the doors for Astarion when they recognized him. They couldn’t hide their shock that he was dragging a victim in, his facade of the perfect lover dropped, and something clicked inside him.

It’s not Cazador who scares her; it’s me.

Astarion nearly let go of you. Then he felt the eyes of his siblings boring into him, all six waiting in a clustered group, and he knew Cazador was near. There was no escape for you now.

Astarion tightened his grip on you and dragged you into the palace’s shadows. He watched your feet cross the threshold, damning you eternally. The door slammed shut.

☞ ❊ ☜

[Image Caption: I do not give permission to repost, translate, or publish my work on any other site or app by anyone except myself. I do not give permission for my work to be fed into AI (for audio, art, or writing).]

Baldur's Gate 3 // Astarion Ancunin

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[consistencynevermether]

Astarion x Rouge! Tav

A/N: I am, as the professionals would say, back on my bullshit. anyways here's another in my series of Astarion x a certain class 

part 1 (Paladin Tav version)- https://www.tumblr.com/consistencynevermether/730256251991310336/astarion-x-gn-paladin-reader-hcs-an-this-man?source=share

Bastard x bastard 

You two are absolute little SHITS together let me tell y’all that 

Your love language? CRIME. 

No but seriously imagine this- one of you had this plain steel ring, nothing special or anything just collecting dust at the bottom of your bags. Honestly, you don’t even remember which one of you it originally belonged to

When you first met, one of you had stolen the ring from the other to prove they were “superior with their hands” to the other. Eventually, it became a game between the two of you, every few days stealing this little trinket from each other. And bragging until the other stole it back. It didn’t matter whether either of you wore it on your fingers, around your necks, or even hiding it in folds of clothing. Neither could hold onto it for more than a week before the other snatched it up 

The most memorable little moment with this ring- once you had both gone on a late night walk, hand in hand. The moon's soft glow bathing you both in silver, it was like a scene out of a romance novel, especially when you leaned in to press your lips against his

And then- 

While he was distracted you slipped it off his finger and booked it. Immediately running as fast as you could, not daring to look back, laughing as you sped off with your prize

Unfortunately for you, Astarion happens to be a vampire spawn. Vampire spawn are quite physically inclined, and Astarion is pretty fit

What I’m saying is you made it a good 30 feet before getting tackled to the ground and had the ring wrestled out of your hand 

Honestly, though, you were laughing so hard you didn’t even mind losing the game, you were just happy that for a second your master plan had worked. 

Astarion complained about how his outfit got all dusty because of you, but you had heard him laughing right along with you when he had tackled you to the ground

Astarion won’t admit this, but that ring means more to him than any bejeweled precious jewelry ever could, because it connects him to you

Both of you claim to have the best set of knives and take every opportunity to show off to each other with your skills. Once you actually picked a lock with a smaller blade and you could swear it caused Astarion to be a little flustered. 

Sharing clothes? Sharing clothes. Listen, I'm just saying, will you let your vampire boyfriend burn up in the sun or will you lend him that nice new cloak you just got? Yea, that’s what I thought now it’s joint property. Dw tho it all evens out when you steal one of his nightshirts (it’s the comfiest thing ever, and not just because it always faintly smells like him) 

You guys definitely do couples' heists together. Sneaking, pickpocketing, lockpicking, running from the law, it's all in a day's work for the most shifty couple in Faerun. One of you might distract a lord while the other snuck into his vault to retrieve some valuable magical item. 

Ok but in all seriousness, y’all must be the most ethereal couple around. Imagine seeing two people glide over the rooftops of Baldur's gate, each jump almost like steps to a dance they both know by heart. Flitting around each other like ribbons in the breeze, one with soft silver hair and the other face obscured by their pitch-black cloak, hood pulled up and rippling in the night air. They dance across rooftops, swift as shadows, graceful as spirits, never touching, and yet somehow the rare onlooker knows they are meant to be a pair.

Some bard has definitely written a song about that last bullet point I promise you. 

You two probably had a million cons just waiting to be used. I imagine during your time together trying to get rid of the tadpole, you would both talk late into the night, bouncing ideas off each other, throwing out ideas of different tricks you could pull on the unsuspecting. Some genuinely clever, most just absurd attempts at making the other person laugh.  

If you ever actually got the chance to you it though? Oh ho HO. let me tell you how this went down. Your party had gotten into a situation, attempting to be as inconspicuous as possible. But by a bout of bad luck, someone had started harassing Karlach and at the same time, Lazel had started yelling at a guard, hand on her sword, inches away from striking. The party needed some sort of distraction, and luckily you both had just the thing. 

Astarion had grabbed the nearest glass of wine and splashed it on you, then putting on his best offended face he anguished, “How could you cheat on me?!?! And with my own BROTHER!?!?” That sentence made everyone's head snap up, including the guards as you both laid the theatrics on thick. You kept this act up with Astarion for a good 10 minutes, with fake tears and dramatics from both of you. At one point on the spot, you made up that he had slept with your mother and it was revenge, and the crowd was extremely invested, people taking sides, guards trying to calm down the chaos. But hey you're fake out worked, Karlach and Lazel were able to sneak away quietly and you had both given the distraction of a lifetime. Shadowheart disapproves.

Occasionally the two of you will talk in Thieves cant to each other when you don’t want the party to overhear certain conversations. Originally you were both probably talking about important things like strategies and debating about how to go about getting rid of the tadpole. But now you kind of both just use it to piss off Lazel a little. 

Ultimately you two really understand each other on a deep level, you really are 2 people with one mind. And together there's a world of adventure out there for you both, and infinite fun magical items for you both too “acquire”.

[theladywholivesonthemoon]

LUCID DREAM

warning(s): spoilers, lot`s of them. Just a lot of fluff, angst if you squint;

a/n: It’s a very short piece about the reader and Astarion. After watching so many baldur’s gate content I fell in love with Astarion and I hope I can portray him nicely here ;). Gif not mine.

After the battle has been won, Cazador dead, feelings confessed and a future together building slowly, he needs to breath. They find themselves sitting on the stairs of an old mansion they now have chosen to call home, the light of the moon coats the pale elf in a cold light, making him more ethereal than usual, while she watches him in complete silence. The promise of forever, braving the world together exhilarates him at the same time it scares. It`s all so new, this freedom. Shackled for 200 yeas and now he is free, yet he has no idea what to do. So many things come to mind at the same time, and at the same time none at all. He feels so much, and nothing at all, but-

“Astarion?” She prompts him softy, a hand coming to caress his cheeks, pushing a stray curl behind his ear.

“Yes, love?” Mirth coats his voice, yet she sees right through his attempt of charming her- she always does.

“Tell me, please?” The vampire smiles crookedly, turning his sights away from the bright moon and towards the cobblestone bellow. A great sigh leaves him and after twisting his fingers nervously, letting out a humorless laugh, he finally turn to her. He is faced with soft, welcoming eyes and a small smile as she gazes into his eyes. Astarion offers his hand and without much thought she places hers in his. He tugs her closer, their knees touching and another heavy sigh leaves him before he can speak again.

“It’s just- I’m free, right? But, it feels so… hard. I keep coming back to those moments before his death, all that anger, pain. I can`t just let go of it all, forget it. Sometimes I feel like I’m dragging you down, having to cope with this mess of feeling. And I know what you’ll say- ‘You love me and nothing will change that’, but sometimes it’s just, hard”.

Her looks shift, and before he can call it one of pity, she holds his hand tighter, bringing her other hand to entangle with their hold. “I know, and I can’t even begin to fathom all that you’ve been though and I’ll hate that bastard until the end of my days, but you can talk to me. All that you want to say, I’ll listen. I love you, Astarion. And I’ll love you through all hardships, that is what we promised, wasn’t it?”

He stares at her again, gazing deeply into her eyes, her soul, searching for any trace of falsehood, yet he finds none. He thinks it silly, how he still distrusts her on occasions, hates himself for it. He should be able to trust her completely, but 200 years of abuse impedes him. But, he braves though it, pushes though his distrust and meets her warm embrace, reminding himself in her arms of the love and trust they share, at lets go. His arms tighter around her waist as his mouth meets her neck, delivering a sweet kiss to her pulse point. She drives her fingers through his curls, petting his hair slowly.

“I wonder,” He says softly, voice slightly muffled, “what comes after. Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in a lucid dream, trapped in my place as the world turns around me. I know I have carved a new beginning in stone, I know we are together always, I know my undying love for you, for us, and sometimes it all eludes me. Like I’m looking through blurry water. I just wished I could be more for you. Give myself fully. And I swear I’m trying my best to be the new and improved Astarion, believe me. I just wished it was easier”.

She pulls back slightly, cradling his chin to twist his face slowly towards her. She caresses his cheek lovingly, love overflowing from her gaze. A soft kiss is placed on his forehead, his eyes closing as their noses brush in a caress. No words are needed, for she knows now is not the time for sweet words. She comforts him with her presence, her listening ears, for him to whisper his fears and anxiety, to brave through his negative thoughts, to live the wonders, to acknowledge his feelings, to express all of him. They hug for a moment as the cold wind of the night brushes their hairs astray, but it does not disturb their little corner of peace, away from the world. Then, she untangles from him, getting up and offering her hand for him to take.

“Let’s go inside, shall we? I feel rather chilly and would rather cuddle in our soft couch in front of our fireplace”.

He smiles, a big and true smile, like the ones he always gives her, because it’s her. Astarion takes her hand and she tugs him up. Crashing softly into each other as they let out quiet laughs. He tugs her close to him by her waist, delivering a sweet his to her lips, dragging his hands lowers until she pushes back, reprimanding him with a glare of false disapproval as he laughs loudly.

“Of course, my darling”. He delivers a kiss next to her ear, “I’ll be delighted to ravish you inside”. Astarion follows her inside while they both laugh. He delivers a delicate kiss to her mouth before he closes the door and is filled with warmth once again. No words are said, just small laughs, velvety touches and each other, for always.

[lagncx]

Dad! Astarion x reader

Tw:Cazador,thigh biting (chat….erm giving??), something else who knows I’ll edit it, oh yea….trauma, crying vampires

You stood in the middle of the room listening to the screaming match between your son and your husband. Your son had broke something, it wasn’t even expensive or sentimental but your husband and child have been boiling and keeping a tight seal on it so everything that came out was from a deeper wound. 

  “You know dad all you do is try to control me!!” Your son yelled, his nickname was Kay. It was a little thing you gave him after he would beg you to tell him the story of you, hero of faerun but your friend, Karlach, was the one he loved hearing about. “I control you? Don’t you even try that with me Kay! I’ve given you freedom totally appropriate for your age!” Your mind buzzes itself out of the conversation “Mom!” Your son looked at you, begged you to step in. You turned to Astarion who shook his head signaling for him to handle this. It was a respect thing. You don’t downplay Astarion in front of his son, not even if you disagree. It was so your son could understand the respect he gives you is also given to his father. So you stayed silent. “Seriously?!” Kay scoffed “yes seriously, you know you always have an excuse for doing anything kay it’s always ‘it wasn’t me dad’ ‘it’s not a big deal dad’ you need to be cautious and careful. What if that meant a lot to me?” Astarion asked, trying to be calmer for your son. “But it doesn’t so what?” Your son snapped “All you do is complain about how much you do for me. I hear about it all the time!” Your husband laughed tiredly “yea well I wish my son wasn’t some stubborn idiot!” You slapped Astarions shoulder “Hey, that’s eno-“ 

“well at least I’m not weak.” Your son's tongue was moving like a snake. It was going to sink his words into your husband like a fang. “That’s enough” you said but then Your husband pushed you “no, no tell me! What do you mean?!” Your husband walked over towards your son, your son stood up straight puffing his chest, his hands balled up and you felt that…rage. From both of them. Rage and pain. They were both looking at each other waiting. Your son decided he was going to take it farther. “La’zel told me about you dad. Before me, with the tadpoles, You and mom, but she also told me about Cazador.” You saw Astarions face twitch. “You just suffocate me dad! You tell me what to do, what not to do, how to act, stand, sit, behave. Not because your my father! You keep me under your foot because you don’t want me to be some victim like you.” The words slipped off his tongue like a slur and you were tempted to grab it. You stepped forward “Both of you! We’re all just tired and you are saying things you don’t mean.” You sighed one hand on Your son's head and the other on Astarions side “no…no he meant it. He meant all of it.” Astarions usual face of disgust and sadness stayed on his face “you have one more time to disrespect me, after that your going to uncle gale in water deep for winter. I pray to the gods that I do not rip the tongue of my only child right here.” You sighed your hands flopping over your face “both of you,please we’re all just tired.” 

  “Shut up! All you do is try to fix it. You can’t! He obviously thinks of me as some weak victim. Maybe he’s right.” Astarions voice shook and broke “Kay. Go prepare for bed.” Astarion hands shook as he pointed to the stairs watching your son walk off. 

  What a shit show

You had begun talking to yourself in your thoughts like The dream visitor just for some comfort? You turned to your Husband halfway out the door “Star where are you goin?” You chased after him “I’m going to kill that gith!” He stormed towards a traversal sigil “Woah! No no my love! Don’t do that, she is our friend, remember?!” You stood in front of the sigil. Your husband's striking eyes were like a force pushing you to move, but you stood there. You saw the way his eyes watered some tears trickling before he went full into a breakdown “How dare she? How Dare She!” He sobbed falling to his knees and you immediately were at his side shushing him “That wasn’t for him to know! Till he could understand! How could she release that to My child?! I’ll kill her!” He cried into your shoulder “shh..my star. She probably didn’t mean bad by it. She was telling him your story.” You rubbed his hair giving his droopy ears a small kiss “yea, a story about a broken man.” He gasped barely getting the sentence across “yes, a broken man. A man who pieced himself together took back his identity, met people, made freinds, learned that there is good in the world. Released vampires that suffered your same peril. And he wasn’t a victim. Wasn’t weak. He was a survivor and he was strong. One of the most fearless strongest of us all. And he didn’t see how selfless he was till the end. And seeing all the good he did all the people he saved all the lives he freed.” Astarion only sniffled looking up at you “then, our hero had another journey, love…learning what it is to be loved and not just lusted for. And after that scary journey he put himself in another challenge…being a father having a son.” You whispered in his ear it twitched against your cheek as it perked itself up Astarion still shook from his previous tears you sighed “My little star. You are magnificent.” You hugged him rocking him, kissing him down his cheek to his lips with his permission the small taste of salt slipped past your lips from his tears they continued to fall. “Hush my love…hush now.” You kissed under his eyes earning a small “hun” from him kissing away the tears pulling away and looking at those puppy eyes. You pecked him harder a few times hearing his sobs turn to giggles “There you are.” You said with a  smile getting up pulling Astarion with you. “Come my star…do not let someone or something. Separate you and our son. Cazador doesn’t get to take this away from you too.” You said sternly looking into his eyes he nodded silently his small “I know..” how could he explain what Cazador did to him to his son…he already thinks he’s weak. That he probably isn’t even a man. “Darling” you said, pulling him away from those thoughts, Cazadors grip. “I’ll be right next to you.” You wiped some dirt off his cheek and he only leaned into your touch. You guys were a team. 

———

  The conversation was hard. Astarion had to take a few breaks to step out of the room. He didn’t want to cry in front of his child. But when he got through it your son had questions you let Astarion answer them which was his right. But when it was heavy Astarion would grip your hand almost like he had wylls contract on his tongue but he was asking for your help. 

 “Why didn’t you just leave when you had the chance?” Kay asked a little confused and maybe some of it went over his head. No worries. Astarion gripped your hand tight. “Well son, it wasn’t so easy. Cazador was the one who turned your father and so Cazador was his master. Your father tried to run once before me and him met but he was punished by spending years in a grave, alive. Scared” you rubbed astarions knuckles with your thumb soothing him subtly “it was to teach him…no…scare him, to make him never run off again. That his purpose was to serve cazador. And the abuse your father went through” A death grip on your hand. Warning you not to go into detail to not make him relive those restless nights. Those torturous days. You let go of his hand pulling him closer by his waist and he scooted comfortably against you. You rubbed his side comforting him. His hand was on your waist also, he trusted you. “…the abuse your father went through. Well it was horrible and horrific. That’s all you need to know.” You squeezed Astarion a little and he breathed a sigh of relief. Your son nodded climbing out of his bed and to your husband hugging him shaking and sobbing “I’m sorry dad I didn’t mean anything I said. I know your not a victim and none of it was your fault.” He sobbed his ears drooping in shame. He knew his father was strong and you knew the boy looked up to him. You were the only one to see it. Mother knows. Your son copied everything about his father from his attitude to his confidence and even some of his flaws…speaking out of anger. “oh my sweet little one…thank you it’s okay…and, I’m okay.” Astarion rubbed your son's tears off his face “I’m not an idiot right da?” 

“No little one.” Astarion held him close and he looked up at you mouth saying ‘thank you’ he closed his eyes. You went to go eat it seemed inappropriate but you wanted them to have some time. Time to cry in each other's arms and realize that when you passed…and you will. They will only have each other. 

/——

/——

You walked in your son's room seeing Astarion get up and walk to you “watching him sleep huh?” You chuckled. “Hush now, let's go to our room, yes?” He sighed tiredly and you just laughed picking him up on your back walking to the bedroom and laying him on the bed you helped him undress not in a rough sexual way. Just taking his clothes off as he lazily lifted his arms above his head “darling…” he whispered you were busy taking off hiss shoes and rubbing his feet pushing your thumb into the bottom of his left foot moving it up and down hearing him sigh. “Darling..” he whispered again and you took off his pants folding them neatly like how he showed you and feeling you kiss from his ankle up to his inner thigh nibbling softly on the tender skin “mm~ love..” he asked for your attention this time you acknowledged it “yes my star?” You said rubbing away the red mark on his thigh “will you please come cuddle with me already?” You smiled “of course.” You smiled before grabbing a few more nibbles and pecks on his tender thigh he  giggled kicking you off “stop it, you’ll bruise me!” You kissed his hips and up his stomach crawling onto him his legs wrapping around your waist holding you down “behave…” he warned and you pouted whining into his stomach he rolled his eyes “darling let’s rest…please” and you looked down sadly “do my kisses not satisfy you anymore?” You sniffled and he covered his mouth to hide the awe. He said his eyes sparkling from Your cuteness “my love your kisses nurse me back to health. But it has been a…long long day baby. And all I need is for you to hold me and I do the same…you can kiss me the whole night while we cuddle.” He let his legs relax and you smiled laying next to him pulling him close his back to your chest and he got into a fetal position “there just perfect” he purred 

…..

“Love, did you just bite me?”

….

“no.”

   ———-

 Hopefully you enjoy this guys like you guys enjoyed other papa Astarion but erm. Idk this is a bit angsty. I think it’s easy to write good fun parts but I always find I like the conflict and the resolve and I thought it would be important to have Astarion explain his past to his child unfortunately because of la’zel and her literal attitude she didn’t think before saying anything and well yea but it was out of pure love and admiration for Astarions perseverance and strength but it was supposed to be on his own time and I think that’s what made him so upset…I’m saying this like I didn’t write it.

[gortrash]

I have managed to get my sweet, dear mother to play bg3, and it has enlightened me to paths I did not think were possible.

So right off the bat after crashing she neglected to free Lae’zel. She didn’t even manage to find her. She went back after I told her about it and she’s not even in the cage anymore, and you can’t talk to the tieflings.

She spoke to Wyll in the grove but never recruited him to camp. I have no idea what she did but she managed to get herself ‘banned’ from the grove (although she swears she did no killing or stealing or harm to anyone inside) because there’s thorns all over the entrance? Even though she disagreed with Kagha about the ritual.

So I was like okay that’s fine it’s just two people. You have a full party anyway. That was until Gale spoke to her about his requirements to consume magical items and she refused to feed him stuff, to which he threatened the leave the party, and she said yea alright. So now Gale is gone too.

So I said okay! That’s fine also! We can go pick up Karlach, you’ll like her. So she fights all those gnolls (for a very long time mind you) and she rolls up to Karlach, who INSTANTLY becomes hostile and refuses to join her because according to her my mum had slaughtered the grove…??

So I try and wrap my head around what the hell happened in the grove to warrant all these occurrences. She’s still got the grove quests so I’m like okay, let’s get Halsin.

Halsin is dead. I have no fucking idea how she has managed it, but her quest journal says that Halsin is dead. She hasn’t even gone to the goblin camp yet.

My mum is still in the tutorial part of act 1 and she’s managed to piss off/kill/drive away 5 of the companions. My mind is blown and I am beyond confused. At least she has Astarion and Shadowheart.

[spinosaurusenjoyer]

I have literally never seen a single post about Astarion that included any of the points on your list. Is this on Twitter or something? Are these astarion fans in the room with us right now? Shart is the best character, so I genuinely don't have a dog in this race but anyone who says Gale sucks is correct, I will vouch for that opinion. All the men in this game are losers, really.

1) I love all of the companions every single one. I’m a bit less fussed abt Jaheira and especially Minsc because they’re so late in I’m just caught up in the others at that point but they’re still :). And basically. Idgasf about your Gale hate, sorry. I understand not liking any of the companions, tastes are tastes we all have them and that’s okay. But I love all of them. My issue is not opposing tastes and that’s not what I’m talking about so I don’t want to get bogged down in that cuz again I love all of them anyway. What I’m heated over is people not using their frontal fucking lobes and regulating their behaviour lol. Feeing the need to comment shit they should have kept in their heads. I just wish people behaved a bit more decently.

2) That’s just it tho. It’s not comments on Astarions posts that I’m talking about. I’m talking about comments on content of OTHER characters. I see it on here, I’ve seen a lot on Reddit TikTok YouTube too, it’s pretty much everywhere. I will admit it’s not just tumblr I’m talking about yes. But it is partially. I just don’t understand the need to comment on edits art writings etc that are about other companions slagging them off because they’re not Astarion. And yet some of his fans constantly seem to feel the need to do that.

My favourite companion is Minthara and finding comments like these on edits etc of her isn’t rare. Tbf a lot of them come from straight guys who favor SH but a significant portion are also Astarion-only fans. The types who only look at bg3 stuff for him and get offended when it’s not about him. So. Yea.

I just don’t understand feeling the need to comment stuff like this on content people spent hours making. It’s just… really weird and rude and unnecessary. Okay you hate her, and? You think people making content of her having fun in their own lanes care or wanna hear it? Like go make your own post if you wanna be a hater that’s fine, but don’t come onto others posts. I’m not gonna hunt down anymore screencaps because I’ll be real I’m fucking lazy and I’ve got better shit to do than that but I assure you comments akin to this exist on content of Wyll Lae’zel etc too. There are certain Astarion fans who think the entire game is only about him and it bleeds onto how they treat the fans of other characters, 100%.

[pricemarshfield]

general 2, 4

story 6, 8

romance 10, 12

:3c

HI FOX MY BEST FRIEND FOX. GOING BONKERS UNDER THE CUT ♥️

2. Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav?

yeas :)

shadowheart: hmph. i’m sure she’d be useful, but i don’t think we NEED her.

lae’zel: chk. better her than shadowheart. at least she’s demonstrated prowess in a fight

astarion: as long as you keep that lightning away from ME, i say we bring her along.

i cant think of gale and wyll and karlach’s comments but they Would have them. i know this

4. What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval?

acting with caution, lying for basically any reason (if it’s useful, she respects it, if it’s not useful, she just thinks it’s funny), supporting party members (regardless of the moral implications of whatever help you offer, ie giving astarion or gale the necromancy of thay would net approval even though it’s perhaps not Smart. BUT she’d approve more if you gave it to Her), and also everything i talked about in the previous ask fndndnd. also mocking raphael (she disapproves of taking haarlep’s deal but you get a full +10 approval if you call raphael bad in bed to his face so like net positive).

6. Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently?

she will stay no matter what! she does not care! if she’s not the leader of the group she has no reason to keep up an act of altruism to keep the group together. however she will speak sadly about missing wyll and karlach even up until late act 3 if you side with the goblins, and never seems to get along with minthara quite as well as she did them. (she does laugh when minthara is mean to people though. especially gale. she likes gale but she’s a cunt with a complex about wizards so like you know how it is)

8. Do they have comments on who the Player Character chooses to spend the night with? 

YES.

if romancing lae’zel and SPECIFICALLY sleeping with her at the tiefling party, she’ll gripe in the morning about how you took the only partner she’d planned on sharing her bedroll with, but she’s smiling and not upset. UNLESS she propositioned you and you rejected her in which case she’s honestly pretty annoyed. no approval loss or anything it’s just like 😒 for a bit. either way, she tells you to take care of each other.

with astarion she questions your judgment (lol. lmao, even) but is supportive of you both, moreso than some other companions! she’ll also probably have banter with astarion where she kind of pokes at his actual motivations for seducing the pc because she’s terrible

with shadowheart she shovel talks you. she Adores shadowheart. they have a complex about each other but she loves her (platonically. they are besties :) )

with karlach she will actively offer to help find ways to help with her heart/infernal iron if you met dammon! she thinks karlach’s great!

with wyll she’ll tease you both gently but fondly, and will probably ask you if you’ve thought about how you’ll react if/when mizora gets possessive. she approves of any reasoned or determinedly protective answer, and disapproves of “why would she?” or “that’s wyll’s problem, not mine”

with gale she’ll less-gently tease you and will not care if he’s around. HOWEVER she will pull a hard 180 once elminster shows up and tells gale to kill himself because she’ll be like UH?? THATS OUR WIZARD?? and gale’s like i thought you hated me? and tav will go 🙄 i don’t think about you enough to hate you. and then they hang out and talk about magic a lot :)

with minthara she’ll Actually question your judgment, as she doesn’t trust minthara. if you tell minthara about that you immediately net -5 approval

with halsin she’ll go “huh. good for you. not my thing, but good for you. did the wildshape stay on?”. you get +1 approval if you tell her. the same is true if you poly romance him with her :) she doesnt want him but she thinks he’s fine!

10. Will they join in with the PC and the Drow Twins, or no?

“is the sibling thing marketing or real?” “uh—“ “ew. real. absolutely not.” pushing further after that exchange nets disapproval.

12. Free space! Share anything from your companion!Tav au!

this girl LOVES the society of brilliance. helping/being nice to omeluum and blurg nets approval and her “good” post-game ending is joining the society as a research assistant. (her bad one is if you push her towards pure obedience and faith towards talos, in which case she starts just rampant destruction on the seas and is actively trying to form her Own world-destroying cult.)

[lagncx]

Bones and all

Astarion x reader Tw:….bones…and all. Cannibalism and gore. Cazador is a tw tw: Angst bad bad bad angst please please please do not read if you can’t handle gore,heartbreak, cazador abuse. FUCK IM CRYING this is based on the movie so yes I’m sorry if your disturbed

-///////////////-

Astarion followed you and the guest you held hands with leading them around the corner under the bridge to get into Baldurs gate he stood far away hiding in the grass and shadows. He saw you at the entrance next to sharess caress. He was almost gonna pass by you but he stopped when he heard you sniff right by his ear like you were smelling him…he turned ready to tell you off but you were gone stopping to talk to a baldurian, a elf handsome and saw the way he laughed and cracked jokes with you. But something was familiar about this interaction that seemed innocent. Your eyes you looked at him up and down not as just some one night companion but in hunger. Like he did when he was leading Cazadors own food to their demise So here he was watching you feeling like a perv seeing the way your hands moved down the boys body you kissed him. Astarion was ready to leave thinking he may have been wrong till his nose twitched it was metallic that filled his nose it made his body ache his stomach whined and he turned back you slit the boys throat. Astarion watched as you started to feast on the man drinking from his cut licking up the blood you were savage losing yourself in bliss Astarion watched in envy he only wondered what it was like…so fresh not just left overs from Cazador. You stood up taking a deep breath clothes stained you looked at the white haired elf “You! Why you lurking around?” You wiped blood on your arm Astarion swallowed “I noticed you had took him far. Away and I thought…” he was cut off “I was gonna eat him? Well I did so he’s all yours if you want. I knew you were like me when I passed you” You scratched your head looking at the way Astarion just stared at you his eyes all big but you saw the hunger you could smell it on him but he stood there planted you just laughed “you shy?” You sighed grabbing the dead corpse pulling it towards Astarion who backed up a bit stumbling on a rock you just kicked the body towards him “you look fucking parched. So go ahead. I don’t bite” Astarion barely laughed a little he got on his knees and looked at the elf…the smell flooded his senses but the poor man’s face Astarion closed his eyes “I don’t-…I don’t think I can do it.” He said standing back up you looked at him the way he avoided looking your way or at the corpse you just sighed “alright.” You looked at the man picking him up dragging him down towards the shipping water way laying him next to the water. Astarion followed keeping distance “But you know master wouldn’t want you to eat without his permission first” you stopped looking back at him “what?” You laughed “what master?” Astarion scoffed “Cazador. Obviously” you stood up walking towards him he pushed you back but you just grabbed him and he struggled hitting you “Sit still!” He did and you turned his head seeing the two faded scars. “Oh…shit. You’re a spawn. Of course.” You let him go “yea…so?” You scratched your head looking at the water covered with light from the moon “Uhm…do you want to go to grab a bite?” You looked at Astarion chewing on your lip. “no.”

————

You thanked the waiter taking your plate and you laid back “hm, I love a good steak.” You closed your eyes Astarion looked down at his cup still half full with water. You blinked. “So how long you’ve been a spawn?” Astarion shrugged “a while…” you sat up “so this master of yours…does he not feed you?” “He does, he does…just not enough and it’s usually leftovers or animals. He sends us out to lure him food, people.” You crossed your arms watching Astarions little pout. So he’s some baby bat “so you’ve never ate from someone?” He shook his head “w-what’s it like?” You stiffened at the question “sorry. I don’t want to make you uncomfy.” He looked down. Maybe this was a teaching moment “it’s uh-… it’s everything you think it is it’s a beautiful thing really the taste the smell…the bliss” Astarion looked at you like he was trying to experience through you. “And the pain.” Pain? “Every time i…feast on a person I feel guilt. Pain. I can’t control it. I can but when I’m starving when I’m so hungry I need to eat.” Astarion grabbed your hand “it’s okay.”

————

from then on Astarion would always visit you during the night making excuses to his siblings where he was going. He felt like a kid again sneaking out to go see you. You would eat off of people sometimes always asking if he wanted some but he just couldn’t do it you never forced him and you respected his boundaries. Astarion also started to realize how cruel Cazador really was watching his siblings be hit and carved into made him sick he would go to his siblings who would curse at him to leave but Astarion stitched their deep wounds and cleaned the blood off of them. He had no where to go if he did want to escape Cazador. ———

You yawned which made Astarion stop reading “there you go once again. Is my book boring you.” Star scoffed closing his book you grabbed for him. It was some stupid book you found in a store but Astarion loved it, it was about a girl who suffered an accident that left her face disfigured and her father was a surgeon who would take the faces off the other girls for his daughter. “No star continue it’s your voice it soothes me.” You closed your eyes laying down on his lap and he looked down at you watching the sun that you wanted to watch as it fell caused an orange hue on your face. Astarion continued “Her fingers slowly, gently ran over the unconscious woman’s features feeling the way her nose had a small dip and her jaw so clean and visible. The way her lips were cracked and dry but still just as beautiful as the rest of her.” Astarion flipped the page “is this an envious thing or?” You asked waving away the flies that landed on you “hm, I don’t think so, envy maybe but not pure jealousy. I think she just misses being able to see herself. Poor thing really.” Astarion sighed you just hummed “well beauty is always fading really what counts is on the inside. Astarion laughed “well I guess I won’t have to worry about the first part”

A few hours into the night you looked up at him pushing the book out the way of your view of his face he just looked down at you. “The moon maiden blessed you. I’ve never seen a star shine brighter than the moon.” You touched his cheek even though you both were cold as ice Astarion leaned into your hand feeling warmth and safety and so did you. He leaned down nerves rising and you blinked pulling away from him Astarion licked his lips “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” You shook your head “I’m sorry I know I initiated it but I- I don’t know Astarion.” You rubbed your face “where are you going?” You walked down the hill “I’m leaving” Astarion panicked

“Wait please! I love you! Don’t leave me alone. I want to spend more time with you before I go back home.” You turned around looking at him “go Home! You already belong to someone you can’t love me we can’t have a normal life we can’t Be! Normal.” Astarion frowned focusing on one part of what you were bullshitting about “excuse me? belong? I belong to no one.” Astarion chucked the book at your face You shook your head “I didn’t mean it that way it’s just.” You looked back at Astarion but he was gone. You looked down at the book picking it up.

————

Astarion wiped his tears and regulated his breathing. He was panicking how could you say that. He already didn’t feel like himself his identity was only really…him when he was with you. He entered Cazadors home Ignoring his sister that called his name “Astarion wait! Cazador wants you!” Astarion stopped and turned “what?” She just sighed “he wants you in his room.” She looked uneasy “for?” He questioned before feeling a hand on his shoulder which made a chill run up his spine his ears dropped “does it matter little star. If I call for you you come, no questions asked.” Cazador tightened his grip leading him down the dark hall the sun blocked by the red colored windows “I’m not sure if it’s just because I’ve been neglecting you but I’ve been seeing less and less of you Star. You’ve been behaving haven’t you?” Astarion nodded “yes master of course I’ve just been out looking for more people to bring to you.” Astarion smiled at Cazador who kept a straight face looking into his eyes then laughed “oh my your so good to me!” He led Astarion into his room “sit.” Astarion sat on the edge of the bed his stomach turning “you know I was deciding if I wanted to choose you or your sister. Gods knows your brother never shuts up” Cazador took shaving razor blade and astarion stood up “sit back down little star. It’ll be over quick” Astarion whimpered “no no, please don’t i don’t know what I did wrong please dont.” Cazador shushed him “you knew it would happen little star now lay down. I won’t tell you again” Astarion shook his head “no I won’t.” He stood his ground looking cazador in the eyes. Cazador laughed “are you puffing your chest up to me boy?” Cazador slapped Astarion and pushed him down “lay there and do as I say all you have to do is shut your mouth.” Cazador hummed over the sound of Astarions muffled screams

……

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Astarion shook leaving the room snot and tears on his face he closed the door roaming the halls finding his room and closing the door behind him. He looked for a shirt there were some but would need some tweaking

Astarion stitched the holes in a night shirt of his groaning in frustration when his fingers shook trying to stick the thread through the sleeve fabric. He felt so much. Pain, burn, loss, sadness, and Rage. His brain was pounding like a painful melody. He whispered to himself cursing Cazador. His back was burning blood dripping down his back he felt it the way it trailed down into other cuts he sobbed sniffing and trying to focus. He heard his window open “Astarion…” He paused and turned to look at you standing up and backing against a wall “you shouldn’t be here.” You shook your head “I’m sorry okay? I didn’t mean what I said” you grabbed his hand feeling the way it shook “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” You squeezed his hand trying to stop it from shaking. Astarion pushed you back gently then turned around his back exposed to you and he heard the way you yelled it being muffled with a hand on your mouth you were hyperventilating you sobbed and gently touched around the cuts making him flinch and whimper him gripping your wrist “..s-stop.” He ordered hand shaking as his grip tightened you whispered “oh Astarion…oh gods. What happened? Who…who did this?” You were met with silence but you had to be strong. For him. You took a deep breath why did you even let yourself get involved with this spawn. Now your heart was stolen from you he didn’t know it but he was holding it ever since the day you met your heart was his now. You took your hand and put it on his waist “let me help…please?” Astarion nodded “door…lock it please. Just incase” you did what he said before returning to him “You want a bath? I can wash you off but it’s gonna sting okay?” Astarion nodded his eyes still dropping tears you lead him to the bathroom (please idk if they have bathrooms…) when it was prepared you let him undress himself turning away from him. A small broken “ok” was said and immediately you went to his side sitting on the ground it didn’t take long for the blood to dye the water a bright red when you rinsed his wound the mess turning into a scripture “what in the hells. This isn’t just some beating. Astarion was it cazador? Your master?” Astarion shushed you his eyes in shock his pupils small “Don’t say his name!” You closed your mouth he was afraid and angry. He looked weak. And you could smell him the hunger but it was more savage. But you know he wouldn’t eat someone he needed a nudge. But not right now “okay…” you whispered wetting his hair and wiping the snot away from his face seeing his teeth marks on his bottom lip which was red and swollen he must’ve been biting into it the whole time. You paced around the room astarion was getting dressed you didn’t want to baby him with that but he called for you and you walked to him he was holding his shirt “help me…it hurts to lift my arms.” You nodded “of course” you stepped closer kneeling in front of him “let’s try an easier way, arms out.” You slipped his arms through the sleeves gently standing back up putting his head in the shirt water from his curls flicking on your cheek you leaned on him his hands held onto your sides for support face in your chest you put the shirt over his back not touching it at all letting it fall. You pulled away but Astarion held onto you sobbing into your chest you stood there knowing you couldn’t hug him. Your arms stung with the need to embrace him but you just stood there.

————

Astarion laid on top of you. He decided to get rid of the shirt so the air could cool down the burn of his scars you put some cream on them to avoid any infection you arm rested on the back of his neck. Astarion couldn’t sleep. Any candles had burned out in the room it was dark. Astarion looked up at you seeing you just as awake as him he stretched his neck out pecking your lips. You looked at him smiling “you need to rest…try and sleep” Astarion shook his head “can’t everything hurts.” He looked at the door. “If he comes in here he can’t see you…he will kill you im sure of it.” He whispered “I’m planning on it. He better get me out of the picture before I hang him on my wall.” Astarion shared the same image with you he wanted revenge too but he was too weak “Astarion you need to eat…eat something…alive” astarion shook his head “No I won’t I can’t do it.” You groaned “You’re not hearing me!” You yelled astarion slapped your cheek softly shushing you “Are you stupid what did I sa-“

“oh don’t worry I’ve been in here watching.” Astarion froze his throat got watery and he felt bile rise in his throat running into the bathroom throwing up. You got up looking at Cazador “Hello, we haven’t met” he said you scoffed “Uh huh, names y/n” You stood up keeping a hand in your pocket “Y/n! Just go.” Astarion walked to you pushing you towards the window but you stood there rooted to the floor “Y/n! Please” he begged Cazador grabbed Astarion by his hair but you kicked Cazadors leg in making him fall on the floor before he could pull Astarion to him you grabbed Astarion by his arm putting him behind you “Do Not Touch Him.” You said looking at Cazador as he kneeled down to you trying to get up taking a second to stable himself “I was simply going to tell him it’s rude to interrupt us.” You shook your head “He’s fine right where he’s at. But I got a problem with you. Who do you think you are taking a blade to him?” You got in Cazadors face pushing him back Astarion got in between you both “Y/n stop.” He begged. But it was for nothing Cazador was ready to push you to your limits and you were already ready to blow up on him. “Y/n is your name? Beautiful so tell me what does my sweet star have that drew you to him. Was it his charm or that body of his cause many many people have had the same experience.” You lunged at him knocking astarion on his back which made him yell out Feet could be heard rushing to the room Astarions siblings running in “Master? Astarion!” 2 or three ran to Astarions side pulling him safely away from the mob that started to break you from Cazador planting punches and attacking you Astarion felt dizzy the pain from his back made it hard to focus “Stop it!” Cazador looked at Astarion grabbing him and throwing him out the room locking the door. Astarion begged “Please Cazador don’t! I’ll do anything I’ll stop seeing them! Don’t hurt them.” Astarion heard breaking glass and your screams Pierce the quiet hall Cazador spoke through the door “I will forever take away everything from you. You will learn to obey me! You cause a lot of trouble now someone has to die. And unfortunately that someone is like me. Now listen to the sound of your lovers flesh being torn and feasted on by your brothers and sisters!” Astarion screamed in terror “NO! Don’t! Please! Someone stop them!” Astarion heard two of his sisters struggle to pull the rest off of you Cazador yelled at them but they continued to help you till one of them was attacked the other opening the door for astarion who saw his sister being feasted on by one of his brothers listening to her scream out. The other being pinned against a wall by cazador. Astarion saw three of the spawn chewing down on your flesh seeing you rip one of the spawn off made astarion get out of his paralysis and use a letter opener stabbing one in the throat. It was pure chaos but Cazador had called them off letting go of the sister and exiting the door but not before forcing Astarions head into one of your open wounds making you yell in pain “Say your goodbyes. Don’t make me have to go through this again.” Letting go he left slamming the door.

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you and him laid there Astarion cried and apologized so many times for what happened you shushed him. “Stop…” you said “no it’s my fault I should’ve stayed away” he sobbed biting his hand muffling his sobs “no…no it’s fine…I would’ve…never met you.” You said “that’s the point. You would’ve been better off.” You pulled him up to your face and kissed him “ I need you to listen to me” astarion nodded keeping silent “you need to eat. Your so weak and hungry. Stop denying yourself.” Astarion looked over at his brother who laid there with the letter opener in his throat “N-no I can’t eat him I don’t want to.” You shook your head grabbing his hand placing it on an open wound “no not him. I’m not asking you to eat him I want you to eat me.” You sobbed Astarion scoffed shaking his head “no no…I’m not going to eat you y/n.” He held you close “you have to. Don’t make me die like this some corpse to be forgotten” astarion shook his head “I won’t do it. I can’t forget you. Your not going to die”

“My star. Please…I’ve never had someone to love and now…now I love you, you have my heart I want to be with you forever and I want you to grow strong. Eat me, love me and eat. I want you to eat me. Love me, please! please just love me!” You cried out in pain he saw the way your eyes looked around your vision blurring you were growing delirious and you smelled…so sweet. “Your siblings…they really were starving but they left me for you. Eat me please astarion Bones and All don’t leave me like this. Stop starving yourself. Just eat. I want you to feed I want you to be happy baby.” You ran your fingers through his hair. “No…no..I can’t…I can’t stop.” He smelled your wound licking up the blood sobbing “I’m sorry…I can’t I can’t stop.” He sunk his teeth into you you gasped laying your hand on the back of his head pushing him down into you. Astarions stomach was jumping with glee but his throat had a lump his tears falling out as your blood filled his stomach that hunger he never felt till now. He weeped crying as he sucked the life out of you “now I’ll be with you forever…just feed my star. And you’ll heal right up.” His sobs choked him up making him cough blood spilling over his mouth and his nose. You screamed when you felt him bite deeper Astarion held your hand tight and you returned the force you loved him. After 30 mins you stopped screaming after 10 your hand lost its grip fingers cracking under astarions pressure. Astarion pulled away not a drop left in you and he covered his mouth backing away from your corpse crying in his hands.

——-

But that was centuries ago. He closed the book you had gave him sticking it away under his bedroll in his tent. He stepped out the tent looking at all his companions group for dinner and Astarion looked down at the ground, ever since then he stayed from people letting people in cause last time he did they died because of him. By his hand. “Astarion. I brought you this.” Astarion looked up at Tav in front of him “this time Wyll wanted to contribute so you wouldn’t be so hungry and I could actually walk straight.” Tav handed him a cup full of blood “join us for a bite? Just for tonight?” Tav smiled kindly. Astarions stomach turned but he felt a nudge. His throat clenched he rubbed the back of his neck the chill leaving him “…yea okay.” that night he connected with everyone laughing and he felt that warmth he felt long ago, with you.

——

‘Make me feel like something powerful, it’s crawling deep inside of me…turn me into a poison tree