#I don’t know if this is as baffling funny to anybody else as it is to me

[gortrash]

I have managed to get my sweet, dear mother to play bg3, and it has enlightened me to paths I did not think were possible.

So right off the bat after crashing she neglected to free Lae’zel. She didn’t even manage to find her. She went back after I told her about it and she’s not even in the cage anymore, and you can’t talk to the tieflings.

She spoke to Wyll in the grove but never recruited him to camp. I have no idea what she did but she managed to get herself ‘banned’ from the grove (although she swears she did no killing or stealing or harm to anyone inside) because there’s thorns all over the entrance? Even though she disagreed with Kagha about the ritual.

So I was like okay that’s fine it’s just two people. You have a full party anyway. That was until Gale spoke to her about his requirements to consume magical items and she refused to feed him stuff, to which he threatened the leave the party, and she said yea alright. So now Gale is gone too.

So I said okay! That’s fine also! We can go pick up Karlach, you’ll like her. So she fights all those gnolls (for a very long time mind you) and she rolls up to Karlach, who INSTANTLY becomes hostile and refuses to join her because according to her my mum had slaughtered the grove…??

So I try and wrap my head around what the hell happened in the grove to warrant all these occurrences. She’s still got the grove quests so I’m like okay, let’s get Halsin.

Halsin is dead. I have no fucking idea how she has managed it, but her quest journal says that Halsin is dead. She hasn’t even gone to the goblin camp yet.

My mum is still in the tutorial part of act 1 and she’s managed to piss off/kill/drive away 5 of the companions. My mind is blown and I am beyond confused. At least she has Astarion and Shadowheart.

[tojiwrd]

3: fate is fickle ; gojo satoru

pairing gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary when satoru breaks off your engagement, you understand and accept it. but when he marries someone else, you don't understand because he didn't want to be tied down.

content warnings drinking, reader being referenced to as a party animal, nanami being soooo fine lol, mention of drugs but nobody does it, mention of death, gojo being meannnnnn and weird

word count 3.1k

a/n thank you SOO much for the support i luv u guys <33 interaction is always appreciated i love talking to u guys also first part is set in the past j in case there is any confusion

send requests ↞ prev next ↠ to be added to taglist

When Gojo Hana, Satoru’s first wife, had come up to him after going to the bathroom for only a short of three minutes with a baffled expression, he wasn’t sure what to expect. 

Her lithe fingers curled themselves around his biceps as she found home between his thighs. Satoru’s mind was fuzzy, especially after three drinks and four shots, and that merely intensified the feel of her skin against his. It was her expression that he wasn’t sure if he was imagining to be tenfold more worried than it truly was, which pulled his lips into a straight line before he asked, “You okay?”

“Satoru,” she started, a small crack in her voice and Satoru leaned back against the chipped wood of the high table. “You know L/N Y/N, right?”

It was funny, and Satoru realized it was funny because he let out a small, nervous chuckle as his wife dropped your name, that all it took was a mention of your name to get his muscles to tighten like he was going to war. He had gone through every single opportunity for Hana to find out about you—not your existence, because there was hardly anybody within his circle that didn’t know of you—and come out of it unscathed (translation: Hana remained unaware). This couldn’t be any different, though she’d never outright mentioned you before. 

He remembered when Hana sat across the quartz tabletop, writing down name after name in delicate cursive, and asked about the L/N family. He’d stiffened, but only momentarily, before he said something along the lines of of course, father would have it no other way. And that, for the time being, was true because there was no way his father wouldn’t want your family to be there after so many years of working together. Satoru wanted to ask Hana, at that moment, if she was sending out invitations addressed to family but he held off until later to make it not seem suspicious. She’d said, ‘Of course not! I want them to be personal and meaningful.’ Satoru felt as though he was ready to change her mind, but how could he argue with something as sweet-intentioned as that?

“My father worked with hers,” he replied, pushing away memories. “Why?” he asked hesitantly. 

There was no suspicion on her face, just curiosity, and Satoru hated himself at that moment. 

“I think I saw her in the bathroom?” It felt as if all his senses perked up and heightened at her words. Fuck. “She was with another girl. I don’t know her name—brown hair, brown eyes, and… about this tall?” Her hands raised up to demonstrate how tall Reina was. He knew exactly who his wife was talking about because if you were out, Reina was with you. He’d always joked how both of you came in a package, and even Suguru only informed one of you about a party and when the other asked him if they were invited, he always said you both always come together.

It had been ages since Satoru saw either of you, but it was hard to forget how Reina always fought for you when you were his girl. And he was glad you still had her because she wouldn’t leave you abruptly, figuratively packing up all the pieces she left in your life in an instant like he did.

“I wouldn’t know,” he coolly said. 

Hana’s lips curled into a small frown. “Her friend said something about how all I know is Y/N’s dad and yours work together.”

“Well, not anymore but yeah.” He feigned indifference, though every nerve of his body felt as if it was on fire. He noticed how her frown only deepened, and he asked, “Were they mean to you or something?”

Hana, sweet, precious fucking Hana, instantly shook her head before she paused and looked down at his chest, as if cowering away from his gaze. “Kind of? I don’t know, maybe she was offended that I only knew her because of your dad?” When she realized she was implying you were being righteous, she took her hands from his arms and raised them in surrender. “I mean, I don’t think she’s, like… a bitch or anything! I might’ve heard them wrong.”

Satoru tried to stop himself, he truly did. But he had to ask. “They still here?”

When she nodded and subtly pointed to the table you sat at with Reina, he couldn’t stop his neck from immediately turning in your direction, a haze of confusion and animosity behind his eyes. Not because you were being rude to his wife, but because he had to be in your presence after months. With his wife. It was truly a miracle that Hana hadn’t noticed the entire emotional turmoil behind his eyes as soon as your name was brought up, which is why he turned to meet her eyes once again and said, “She won’t bother you again, love.”

“You look especially happy today,” Reina commented as her body slithered into the passenger seat of your car. 

She was right, you did look happy and you felt it, too. After the conversation with your mother—the unmangling of a burden of emotions between mother and daughter—you felt as though a weight had finally been lifted off your shoulders. The small conversation with Satoru felt like a faraway memory, one which your mind didn’t feel the need to unpack and decode anytime soon because, as Reina had said, he was a taken man. He had a girl at home, and that scratched away any possibility of you and him ever being anything, even friends, because you were engaged to him at one point.

Did that fact hurt? To a whole different level, but you weren’t going to let it tear you down like it had over and over again in the past few months. 

“I’m just happy to be invited to the biggest club opening of the year in Kawasaki,” you replied, giggling as you began driving to the location. This was a date you marked on your calendar months ago in big bold letters that said ‘PARTY CLUB LEVITATE.’ It was mere seconds after you opened the dark papered invitation with gold embossed lettering inviting you to a new club, Levitate’s opening. You had dressed yourself in leather pants that hugged your skin perfectly and a shimmering silver halterneck top that covered everything it needed to and just that.

You and Reina glossed over the fact that both of you would be drinking, which meant neither of you would be in condition to drive back. And, even though there were a few people from your circle who would be there, too, it was a hard guess to assume who wouldn’t be drinking. 

That was a bridge to cross later because as you stepped through the large gates, flashing your pearly whites as you said your name to the security guards, you were overtaken by the instinct to let go completely loose. Within a blur of moments, you’d downed five shots and you were nursing a glass of—what the bartender said was—a fucking expensive glass of hennessy. 

Once you deemed yourself buzzed enough to go onto the dance floor and find Reina, your hips began moving off their own accord. You loved letting go. The music reverberated off the newly-done walls, a sheen of excitement running through the air as everybody had large smiles plastered on their faces. You and Reina’s arms were on each other's shoulders as you both let the heavy thrumming take over. 

At one point of the night, many drinks and dances later, you were sitting comfortably on the high chair in front of three bartenders who made small talk and recommended drinks. They recommended the ‘sinner’s delight’ to you which was a combination of fuck-knows-what, and you had to admit it was delicious. Reina was still on the dance floor, taken with a man that had been giving her googly-eyes all night, and you were merely trying to catch your breath. 

“Hey, stranger.” You heard someone say as the bottom of the chair next to yours scraped against the floor, indicating they were sitting next to you. You, your mind hazy, turned to your side and were stunned to meet a pair of familiar dark eyes. 

“Geto…” you trailed off, and he shook his head as a small smile overtook his lips. 

“I’m out of here if you want, trust me. If you—y’know, don’t wanna talk.”

It was your turn to shake your head, and you did it with vigor. “No, no. Stay. I’ve actually been meaning to get in touch with you.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. You were planning on getting in touch with Geto, you just weren’t thinking about it to the point you’d actually go through with it. “It’s just been crazy hectic recently.”

There was a sad smile on his lips, and you could imagine he was probably thinking that by recently, you had to mean just about a year which clearly meant you were lying. You were lying, but you also felt you had every right to since you and Geto became friends through Satoru, and Geto was always going to choose Satoru if he had to. In fact, he did choose Satoru because from all the posts you saw on Instagram, they were still as thick as thieves. 

“What have you been up to?”

Your mind was blanking, it was a combination of the alcohol and reconnecting with your past, but you tried to go through your timeline since the last time you truly talked to Geto. “I’ve been looking to start a company—or something, I’m not really sure—and my father was helping until… Well, yeah. Right now, though, I’m just helping my mother out with papa’s company and getting stuff in order. Reina and I are actually doing this thing where we read twelve books a month, too, so—” You cut yourself off, realising you were rambling and you felt your cheeks warm up when you noticed Geto was hanging onto each of your words. “I don’t know. Anyways, how about you?”

“I’m sorry. About your dad. I know I wasn’t there for you but—”

You raised your palm, attempting to stop him because you didn’t wanna get too deep into the topic of your father. “No, I know. You called, texted, sent letters, Geto. You don’t have to apologize.” He looked forlorn, and your fingers instinctively reached up to place themselves on top of his own to reassure him. “Trust me.”

Geto took that with as much stride as he could, and attempted to make normal conversation with you. He told you about his art gallery which you knew was picking up since the last time you met him. He asked you for your opinion on some pieces he was looking at, and you tried to give him your best advice. And even though you knew he hadn’t meant to scroll through his camera roll of paintings and accidentally scroll past an image of Satoru and Hana, your lips still curled into a frown because it reminded you he was friends with not just him, but Hana, too. Hana was Geto’s friend the same way you were his, through Satoru. Geto masked his mistake by immediately giving you a backstory of one of the artists, and it did get you interested, but not too distracted from your new realization. 

“Suguru! You made it.” Your head snapped up and you thanked every God above for the intrusion of the new voice. Geto locked his phone and looked up at the same time as you at the blond man whose eyes were crinkled up showing the tiniest hints of a smile. “And you.” His gaze shifted, landing on your figure that was leaning against the table. “Glad to see you made it too.”

You remained silent, unsure of how to respond to a stranger as charming as him. 

“Of course, I did, Nanami,” Suguru said, rolling his eyes lightheartedly.

A lightbulb flickered in your mind and you were instantly on your feet. “Oh, god. I’m L/N Y/N, thank you so much for the invite. The opening is great.” You were standing across the owner of Levitate, and you couldn’t help but drink every feature of his in. He was tall, and if you got any closer to him, you were sure his figure would cast a shadow over you instantly. 

He laughed. “I’m Nanami Kento.” He bowed slightly, and his hand reached out for yours and his fingers gently lifted it up before he grazed his lips over your skin. “The pleasure’s all mine, of course.”

Geto shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and you realized it was probably because neither you nor Nanami were pulling away from the other. You cleared your throat, mustering up an awkward smile as you slid back onto your seat. Your eyes still remained on him, and his remained on you and you found yourself slightly burning warm under his gaze. 

“I gotta go, duty calls,” Geto said over the silence though the music was still going on. He flashed his phone screen that displayed an incoming call from his assistant before he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into a side hug. It wasn’t much—not the bone-crushing huge the two of you used to share—but it bloomed a sense of familiarity within you, and you could sense Geto felt the same too because he smiled slightly. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

You nodded, overcome with a sense of joy that only occurs after you reunite with somebody that has done you no wrong. 

Nanami bids him goodbye, too, before he slides into the seat Geto was occupying.

“Are you liking the place so far?” he asked, hands gesturing to the surroundings. “I wasn’t sure if I should invite the area’s biggest party animal because you’ve seen many of these kinds of places. But I can at least expect an honest review from you, right?”

You gulped at how he referred to you as a ‘party animal’ and you knew that people had begun seeing you that way over the past few months, too. You weren’t sure if it sat right with you, but you didn’t have anything particular against it. 

“Hmm,” you hummed, trailing a finger over the wood of the table, feigning serious thinking. “I think you could change…” You paused, noticing how his brow went up at your words in curiosity. “Everything. It’s trash.”

He narrows his eyes before he lets out a laugh, and you follow along. His hand lightly covers your knee as the two of you laugh a little too obnoxiously over a joke that was hardly funny, but you blame the ‘sinner’s delight.’

“I thought I’d have to close this place down, no joke,” he said, still between bits of laughter.

You smiled. “Hey, don’t do that. This is my new weekend spot, I’d hate to have it taken away.”

His eyes turned warm and he tilted his head at your comment. “Yeah?”

You nodded, ignoring the feeling of his hand against your knee. “Yeah, to the point you’ll have a drink named after me.”

He blew out a breath as he called the bartender over and whispered something into his ear.

“What was that? You order drugs or somethin’?”

“Oh yeah, the code is strawberry and pickles if you want some.”

“I’m glad to know this place has options, then.”

“No, but I just ordered you a drink you’d like.” When you pointed at your half-full glass of ‘sinner’s delight,’ he shook his head and said, “This one’s not on the menu. Just for you.”

Gojo Satoru always hated meetings.

He hated having to prepare what he would say, and hated even more whenever the conversation didn’t go the way he’d prepared. It wasn’t good that he saw meeting his father as a meeting, but that was what it was. An extremely rage-filled meeting that he was never prepared for because he had no idea what his father would say. 

“Listen, Satoru.” Oh, Satoru was listening, alright. “Mrs. L/N isn’t backing down. I fear she’s taking selling the company off the table.”

“Probably because you told her you didn’t want to buy it and just have it.” Satoru knew his words held bite to them, but that was the only way his father would realize that he can’t merely get whatever he wants. And also because he couldn’t stand talking about your family at all as the memory of the last time they had dinner was still fresh in his memory.

“I said I wasn’t paying the money she asked for, not that I wasn’t paying at all.”

“Father,” he said, letting out a strained breath. “You have to ask, not demand. And I’m not talking about this anymore—it’s not my problem and I’m not getting involved in it.

When Satoru walked out of the office, he realized that he was being harsher on his dad than he ever was. Hana seemed to realize the same, because she froze up when he opened the door and caught her standing a few feet away, probably having heard the entire short conversation. 

He brushed past her, giving her a small smile, towards their shared bedroom but she followed while saying, “Satoru, darling, are you okay?” She followed him to the bed where he laid down, fingers rubbing at his eyes as he tried to alleviate some of the tension away. “Talk to me, Satoru. Are you upset with your father?”

Of course. Of course he was upset with his father because when was he not?

“Hana, please—”

“No, Satoru.” She cut him off and he could barely inhale at her tone. Rarely had she sounded so curt with him, and everytime she did, he wasn’t sure how to pull her out of it except for leaving her alone. He hadn’t been able to figure out the specifics, despite it being many months since they’ve been married. “You’ve been acting off for the past week, and it started after dinner at the L/N’s. Did something happen?” “No.”

“Then what is it?”You. It was you who he couldn’t get out of his mind. He couldn’t forget how you’d once and for all, completely solidified that you and him were over. He couldn’t forget that he could’ve tried harder. He couldn’t forget that he could’ve explained everything. He could see that you were still seeking closure, and he knew he should give it to you but he couldn’t have. Not unless he wanted you to fall down the path of having to heal all over again. Because of him.

[forgthetheaterkid]

not sure if this is just a me thing but I cannot stand it when an audience laughs at something that is clearly not funny. Like a couple months ago I saw Girl from North Country (absolutely phenomenal btw) with a friend. And it’s a show with some funny bits but there are times where it gets incredibly serious or sad and there will just be people laughing??? I thought it was just me and I didn’t get the joke (as it happens frequently) but even my friend was baffled at them laughing. Or I’m currently watching a Groundhog Day slime tutorial and after Phil finds out he cannot die after trying unalive himself THE AUDIENCE LAUGHS like Phil is clearly upset and scared (and just attempted yk killing himself) and people are just laughing?? There’s not even a joke said!

I don’t know if anybody else notices this in any show but it kinda bothers me (sorry for how long it is)

[bloodgarnet]

second not!fic for smoshblr! I have notes from the first AU I should’ve added on but oh well. Just know that the thing Ian wanted to say was “I love you” and evil!Anthony is instantly reformed, everyone escapes to the surface (+bonus bridal carry) but then they both do a mutual “no homo though” while staring lovingly into each other’s eyes. end credits.

also these are all very Ian-centric and I will not apologise. barely mentioned but this AU has 'everyone knows Ian and Anthony separately but do not realise they have a history together', which I'd personally like to see more of. for the funnies.

2/3 – Ding Dong, the Coven Leader is Dead

On loop number five, they all sit down together to go over everything right from the drawing board because nothing is working.

“I never should have brought up the Geffen Magic Tournament,” Courtney mutters shakily, dabbing at damp eyes. “This is all my fault, you guys.”

Shayne pats them on the shoulder comfortingly, but it’s Noah who argues, “Did you hire the magic missile sniper to take a hit on our boss? No? Then it’s not your fault. I don’t think anyone on the dang Sorcerer’s Council could have stopped it in time; not Fischbach, Nestor, Padilla, nobody.” A murmur of agreement runs around the room. Courtney buries their face in their knees, shoulders trembling.

“I don’t get it, though,” Amanda groans, visibly twitching with stress, “Doesn’t a time loop make it harder to kill someone? I mean, sure, this is a torturous hell of failing to save each other from death, but why would the enemy create an opportunity for us to set things right?”

In times like these, Amanda’s specialty truly shines—not her situational clairvoyance and sub-specialty in psionics, but rather the much more invaluable ability to see things from a totally different perspective.

“That’s… actually a really good point,” Keith admits.

“Huh.” They stew in baffled, contemplative silence for a moment.

Angela looks around, waiting to see if someone else is going to take charge before starting with, “Okay, okay. Okay. Hey! So, first loop, we go to the tournament, Ian gets sniped. The day resets. Second loop, we try to avoid the tournament, big accident in the brewing closet, explosion, we all die. Third loop, Erica’s familiar goes batshit crazy and starts ripping throats out.” She earns a few winces from that description and hurriedly moves on. “And last loop, we play it totally safe and Ian chokes to death on a fucking turkey leg. Am I right so far?”

“Right. Time always resets the moment Ian dies.” Courtney’s voice is steadier now, even if they still look a bit teary. “Guys, I don’t think the assassin could have caused any deaths past the first one. Not unless they also remembered the loops, which they can’t because they’re not sharing the coven pact with us, and—and not if they can’t set up a teleport matrix in less than an hour to get to our base, which they shouldn’t even know the location of.” Their words flow faster and faster, tripping over each other as realisation dawns mid-sentence, suddenly grasping how impossible this whole situation is.

“So what? If the time loop is totally separate, then… then it all has to tie back to that first incident somehow. Are we assuming that somebody doesn’t want Ian to die, or is at least actively preventing him from leaving this plane?” Amanda tilts her head all the way back and closes her eyes, evidently praying for a guiding vision.

Right then, Ian walks into the room. “Hey, did anybody want to order in for lunch?”

With a mix of panic and poorly-hidden distress, they all manage some variation of “We’re busy!”

Ian backs out of the room, wide-eyed.

A long beat.

Shayne takes a deep breath. “We can figure this out. There’s a certain logic to this, we just have to work our way through all the unknowns and decipher the rules. And you’re right, Courtney,” a nod of acknowledgement, “malicious or not, this time loop is an opportunity to do good. We can do this.”

There’s an ear-splitting crash from the hallway, a prolonged and pointed stillness, and then the world around them swirls into a kaleidoscope of effervescent colours.

Eventually, they’ll come to realise that avoiding the issue only makes it come on faster. It takes fifteen more loops before they start really digging into the nitty gritty of spell research, cracking open forbidden archives and blasting into trap-laden tombs for information. Another ten rapid resets after that before they can start putting said knowledge to use.

However, the biggest breakthrough comes on loop forty-two, the next spontaneous rest day, when they sit down for a relaxing and hopefully non-lethal meal, and Ian casually responds to Chanse’s comment about youthful indiscretions with, “Everyone has a story like that. Like, you get drunk with a friend one time, accidentally summon a demi-god, and before you know it, you’re soul-tied for life, and maybe death too. Kids are dumb.”

Angela screams. Keith launches bodily over the table, ready to end Ian himself, and no one holds him back.

[hellostarrynightblr]

highlights of February

1. Favourite movies: House of Strangers (1949), The Changeling (1980). 2. Decent movies I liked / appreciated but not loved: The Night Stalker (1972), Everything Everywhere All at Once (2023). 3. wtf movie/ending: Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023). Just an overall impression. Literally WTF. 4. Best scenes: the alleyway break-up / 'She left me two hours ago' (House of Strangers, 1949); confronting the senator (The Changeling, 1980); Those You've Known / The Dark I Know Well (Spring Awakening, 2022). 5. Favourite genres: drama, fantasy, mystery. 6. Favourite directors: Peter Medak (The Changeling, 1980). I also like  John Llewellyn Moxey for The Night Stalker (1972) (surprisingly), Joseph L. Mankiewicz for House of Strangers (1949) and  Daniel Kwan + Daniel Scheinert for Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022). 7. Favourite actors: George C. Scott (The Changeling, 1980); Edward G. Robinson, Susan Hayward, Richard Conte (House of Strangers, 1949); Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan (Everything Everywhere All at Once, 2022); 8. Least favourite performances: anybody in Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023). I reiterate, what the fuck? 9. The most wasted cast: Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023). They brought almost everyone back and made this abomination? How was this even allowed to happen? Let's count. Tyler Posey, Crystal, Holland Roden, Shelley Hennig, JR Bourne, Ian Bohen, Colton Haynes, Linden Ashby, Melissa Ponzio, Ryan Kelley, Seth Gilliam, Orny Adams, Dylan Sprayberry, Khylin Rhambo, Tyler Hoechlin. There are so many just baffling choices as well. Bringing back Stiles' dad without Stiles and their dynamic. Bringing back the Nogitsune without Stiles, Kira or her family. Bringing back Liam and Mason, but not having them interact at all. Revivng Alison (a wtf moment in itself) and not having her reunite with Lydia. Breaking up Stiles and Lydia off-screen for the dumbest of reaons. Not having Scott and Liam exchange a single line. Getting Alison and Scott back together. Everything to do with Derek (not having him interact with either Peter or Malia (who themselves don't interact at all), introducing his son whose existance doesn't even make sense, killing him off). I could go on and on. This film is an insult and a nightmare. Moving on. 10. The best wasted premise: Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023). The idea of bringing back this show for one last adventure is cool, but you need to have, you know, a script before you do that. 11. Best premise: Pandora and the Flying Dutchman (1952). 12. Favourite cast: House of Strangers (1949). Edward G. Robinson, Susan Hayward, Richard Conte, Luther Adler, Paul Valentine, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr., Esther Minciotti. 13. Favourite on-screen duos:  George C. Scott x Melvyn Douglas (The Changeling, 1980);  Jonathan Groff x Lea Michele (Spring Awakening, 2022);  Edward G. Robinson x Richard Conte; Susan Hayward x Richard Conte (House of Strangers, 1949);  Michelle Yeoh, x Ke Huy Quan (Everything Everywhere All at Once, 2022). 14. Favourite on-screen relationships: Max Monetti x Irene Bennett (House of Strangers, 1949). She gives as good as she gets. 15. Favourite characters: Max Monetti (House of Strangers, 1949); John Russell (The Changeling, 1980); Waymond Wang (Everything Everywhere All at Once, 2022). 15. Favourite quote: Can't remember anything... 16. Favourite fact discovered in 2023: Jonathan Groff and Lea Michele are best friends in real life and he supported her when she went back to Broadway to play the lead in Funny Girl. 17. The most overrated film: I kind of think that  Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) is a tad overrated. I like it, just not nearly as much as everyone else seems to. 18. The most disappointing film: Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023). 19. The biggest surprise: The Changeling (1980). 20. Best cinematography: John Coquillon (The Changeling, 1980). 21. Best set design: Keith Pepper (The Changeling, 1980). 22. Best costume design: Shirley Kurata (Everything, Everywhere All at Once, 2022). 23. Best music: The Changeling (1980). 24. Best prooduction choice: casting Richard Conte to be a tough, but ultimately good guy. He's great at playing villains, but his overwhelming charisma makes for pretty interesting good guys as well. 25. Worst production choice: releasing Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023). Absolute atrocity this film is. 26. Film of the month: The Changeling (1980) with House of Strangers (1949) a close second.

[from-a-reckless-writer]

“So, Andrea asked me out, today.”

“Fucking finally,” Sam mutters under her breath, rolling her eyes at Lena as if Lena’s an idiot who should’ve seen this coming.

“I’m sorry what? What do you mean, ‘finally’?” 

“Oh my God, do you seriously have no clue about it?”

“About what?” This time it was Kara who speaks up. They were having a Girls’ Night tonight, well, usually it was just a Kara and Lena night, but Sam came in for a rare visit and here they all are. 

“About how Lena apparently is an idiot who still doesn’t know that Andrea has been making heart-eyes at her since Day 1,” Sam deadpans and Lena’s eyes widen, brows shooting up to her forehead.

“What? What- No, she doesn’t. Oh my God, Sam! She’s my best friend. We go way back, there is nothing— Sam! Stop laughing, I’m serious!”

“Oh, honey, ever since boarding school she’s had a thing for you. She wouldn’t ask if it was nothing. Remember the first time I met with her?” Sam asks and Lena just nods because, okay what the fuck she really needs time to process this.

“She was jealous, she thought I was coming on to you or something, but then you said I was just a business associate and she calmed down,” Sam finishes and flashes of memory zip unto Lena’s brain. Yes, she does remember that day, how Andrea had acted hostile and odd until they met up again with Sam again during that merger and-

Oh my God. 

 “Ah, there it is. Moment of realization hit hard much? Here, have a drink, buddy.”

Sam thinks this is funny. 

Sam thinks this is so funny and she is so smug about being right and Lena wants to wash the damn smugness off of her face. Sam was too busy laughing and Lena was too busy plotting to kill Sam that they failed to notice how Kara completely turned silent. 

“Good of her to finally have the guts to ask you out. Been a long time coming,” Sam rambles mindlessly sipping at her wine. 

“Wait, I’m still processing— Why didn’t she say anything?” 

“Probably didn’t want to ruin your friendship.”

“Then why now?”

“I don’t know, maybe because she tried not asking you out to keep your friendship. But shit happened and your friendship was lost anyway, but now she doesn’t have anything to lose so maybe she thought, might as well...” Sam shrugs as if it were nothing, but Lena, Lena’s brain was scrambling and— 

“Man, am I glad, I chose this week to visit. Say yes already, and me and Kara would even help you choose a dress. Right, Kara?”

They both turn to Kara, who has been uncharacteristically quiet this past few minutes.

“Huh? Wha- Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dress, right. Yeah,” Kara stutters out and Lena knows something is definitely wrong.

“Are you okay?” She asks and Sam just raises a brow at her.

“Oh, yeah. Just—  long day, you know?” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

But the answer was subdued and Lena wasn’t really all that convinced but Sam is interrogating her again and she really just wants to solve this Andrea Dilemma first. Besides, she’s staying over anyway, she can talk to Kara later.

“How did she ask you out? Spill, right now. Spare us no details.” 

Well…

***

“Well, I’m glad that we got that over with.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you, Andrea.”

“Mm, that’s nice to hear. I missed that, coming from you. I- I missed you.”

“Andrea Rojas, you’re getting soft on me. But for what it’s worth I missed you too.”

“Listen, I uh- I wanna ask you something, but you have to promise me you’ll think about it.”

“Is everything alright? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Gotodinnerwithme.”

“Did you say dinner?”

“Yeah, I- want to get dinner. With you. Possibly. As my date.”

“Oh.”

***

“Well, can you blame me? I didn’t know she— “ Lena trailed off, finding it hard to think of words.

“Oh?! Oh?! That’s the only thing you said?!” Sam screeches, wine sloshing about in her glass.

“Didn’t know she had feelings for you?” Kara finishes for her with an unreadable look on her face that Lena desperately wants to decipher. But can’t. Not with Sam hovering. 

"Yeah, that,” Lena says lamely, this is ridiculous. She feels like a teenager unaware of how to function in the real world just because a pretty girl asked her to dinner. But to be fair though, Andrea isn’t just some pretty girl.

Andrea was…

Something. 

Yeah, Andrea was Lena’s something. Once. 

“I mean, I did say I was going to think about it. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but I also didn’t want to lead her on? But I think I kind of did? Did I? Oh, fuck this. Somebody get me more wine.”

Sam pours her a generous amount.

“Well, the question is, do you want to go out with her?”

“I don’t...know,” She admits and Sam just looks at her with the kind of  eyes she sees her make when she wants Ruby to understand something. 

“The question is a simple yes or no, Lena. If you don’t want to, then don’t. If you want to, then go. You don’t owe anybody. If she feels that way, she feels that way. It’s not your fault she caught feelings. You can always say no.”

“I know that, but— “

“But what?”

“It’s Andrea.”

Before Sam can give her another lengthy advice, her friend's phone buzzes and her niece’s face lights up the screen.

“Well, that’s my cue,” Sam says before picking up and telling her daughter that yes, she’s coming home soon. 

“I guess we should call it a night,” Lena voices out as Sam hangs-up. Sam gives both of them bear hugs, whispering in her ear, “You’re going to tell me everything, after.”

And Lena kicks her out of the apartment with an eye-roll. 

She hears Kara moving behind her, probably using her superspeed so Lena doesn’t have to do anything. 

“Hey,” Lena calls out carefully, she’s been eyeing Kara all night and she can’t ignore that something was up.

 “Yeah?” Kara answers coming from the kitchen, wiping her wet hands on her pants as she approaches.

“Sit with me?” 

Lena gestures to the other unoccupied side of the couch. Kara plops down with a sigh, Lena automatically putting her feet up on Kara’s lap. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

To which Kara answered with, “No.”

Well, Lena wasn’t expecting that. Kara tells her everything, that was their thing. Lena has no idea how it happened but Kara tells her everything and Lena tells Kara everything, that’s just them. That was how it is. So, Lena was more than baffled at Kara’s silence. 

“Okay, then. Help me with my problem instead?”

“Fine.”

Cold. Wow, Okay. Okay. She wasn’t going to push but this is really odd behavior for Kara. 

“Do- do you think, I should say yes?

”“To Andrea?”

“To Andrea,” Lena confirms and Kara tosses her head back on the sofa and closes her eyes.

“I don’t know, Lena. That’s...your choice— “

“I know it’s my choice, I’m just asking for your input. How ‘bout a pro’s and con’s list?”“Pro’s first,” Lena says and begins a list, “She knows things about me, in a way that most people would never, that’s a good reason, right?”

“Yeah th-that’s good. She’s rich,” Kara adds and Lena laughs at that.

“Darling, I’m rich too.”

“Well, that’s another pro, you’re on the same level. No worrying about the media, no worrying about tight schedules because she’d understand, anyway. No worrying about gala dates because she’s going to be there, too. No worrying about what friends would say, it’s clear Sam approves and Jess would too. No worrying about long distances since I heard she’s staying around. She’s…”

Kara pauses and there’s this moment where Lena is just looking at her, Kara’s words looping in her head. As if Kara has thought about Andrea dating her a million times before, and what that might mean, as if—

“-perfect. She’s perfect for you, Lena. There’s— uh there’s no competing with that,” Kara’s voice trails off, “I don’t think there’s any con, about dating her. So, there you go. I helped didn’t I? I— You know what? I’m tired, I-”

Kara doesn’t even bother finishing her sentence, just pushes Lena’s legs off her lap and stands-up. Shoulders defeated and foot-steps heavy. Lena stays there on the couch. Usually, they’d get ready for bed together, but Lena has a feeling that Kara wants space, right now. So, she sits there, in the silence of Kara’s apartment, mind running a mile a minute about the implications of Kara’s behavior, listening to the way Kara’s flitting about in the bedroom, before she hears the duvet rustle and she knows it’s time. 

Lena takes her time, brushing her teeth, putting on the pajamas she keeps at Kara’s, combing her hair. She knows Kara never falls asleep without bidding her good night first. But the silence from Kara’s end makes her believe her best friend had already been taken by slumber. 

Lena slowly climbs into bed, Kara laying on her side, facing away from Lena. She claims her side and slowly leans into Kara’s back, she can feel Kara stiffen from the close proximity. Lena takes a breath and starts wrapping her arms around Kara, spooning her. Lena gives herself a moment to just breathe her in. Kara doesn’t relax.

“You know, there is a con,” She starts and she knows Kara’s listening, “There’s one con, about dating Andrea.” she waits for Kara to reply, hoping that she would.

“What?”

“She’s not you.”

“What?”

“She’s—“ Lena inhales, braces herself, fucking now or never, “She’s not Kara Zor-El. She’s not the woman I want to be dating. She’s not the one who I want to ask me to dinner. She’s not you, Kara.”

She feels Kara turn and Lena slowly loosens her arms so Kara can face her.God, her eyes are so blue even in the dark. 

“Lena, what?”

“Then why would you ask if you should date Andrea?” Kara asks, voice small and Lena clings to her tighter, puts a palm against her cheek.

“You already said that, darling,” she teases before clarifying, “I said, I want you. I don’t want Andrea. I don’t want anyone else. I want you.”

“Okay, wow. I— give me a minute, wow okay, wow.” Kara stutters out in disbelief. As if Lena would want anybody but her. 

“I needed to know if you felt the same. I have been trying, Kara. I’ve been trying to tell you how I feel. Wishing you’d pick up on it but I don’t know if you don’t notice or you just really don’t see me that way, but tonight—”

“Tonight, what? What gave me away?”

“You don’t really think, I won’t notice when you’re hurting, do you? The moment I mentioned Andrea, your face fell. You were quiet the whole night. Not to mention you were giving me the cold shoulder once Sam left.”

“I thought I was being subtle,” Kara whispers sheepishly and Lena can’t fight the grin off her face. 

“You weren’t,” Lena breathes and becomes aware of the fact that Kara’s lips are right there, and she’s pretty sure that if she asks, Kara would kiss her. Kara would kiss her, right?

“Kara— “

“Can I— “

They say at the same time and Lena doesn’t really know nor does she care who leaned in first, just that their lips are pressed together, and it’s perfect. This moment is perfect and Lena wants to keep this moment tucked away in her heart, somewhere only she and Kara have permission to.

 And God, they were just as bad as the other. Idiots pining, sneaking glances, buying companies, heroic saves, but Lena guesses it doesn’t really matter, because now they have this.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

Three weeks later, Lena receives a call from Metropolis, Sam’s name flashing briefly on her screen.

“You have a shit ton of explaining to do, Lena Luthor. What the fuck did Jess mean when she said, ‘Miss Luthor and Miss Danvers are out on a lunch date as of the moment.’?”

[inkmemes]

this  country  (  2017  -  2020  )  sentence  starters ↪  taken  from  the  bbc  mockumentary.  trigger  warning  for  mentions  of  religion,  death,  sex.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡

“i like the underdog.”

“don't be a fucking dick.”

“everyone comes together on days like today and just forgets their utter hatred of each other.”

“everyone who's anyone's going to be there and there are people from my past that would love to see me slain.”

“there's a tea rooms there and under the counter they've got a panic button and if i take one step inside, they can press that. the police will be there in three minutes.”

"he whatsapped me the other day asking us to go laser quest with him and i ... well, i clicked on it by accident, didn't i? so he knows i've seen it."

"i mean, i get it, but it's not making me feel nothing."

“it's baffling. i'm baffled by the entire situation, if i'm honest.”

“what the actual fuck? what the actual fuck? you have fucking lost your head, mate. you have lost your fucking head.”

“when i get hold of you, i swear to god i will fucking deck you.”

"someone's just been throwing plums at my house. i'm going to kill them. i can't believe it. i can't believe it. all over this. plumming on here, plumming on that. plum on the sofa, look! there's nothing left that hasn't been plummed."

“i've had a target on my back since the day i was born.”

“thank you very much, enjoy your free potatoes.”

“do you know how small your brain is?”

“hogwarts is that way, dumbledore.”

“he used to say i looked like the puppet off the dolmio advert.”

“there's a kid crying over there. do you want me to...? i can tell him to shut the fuck up if you want?”

“he genuinely looked like a moomin.”

“on my first day of karate club, karate master goes to me, [name], i don't know why you're here because i can't teach you anything. if anything, you should be teaching me." and just gave me his black belt.”

“you know that little old blind man? yeah, when i was punching him in his face, the lens from his glasses broke and cut my knuckle.”

“some things are just best left in the past, where they belong.”

“what's the point in knocking if you're just going to walk in anyway?”

“it was a miscarriage of justice though, cos what people forget is 12 out of them 20 hostages actually found it funny.”

“i lied so much i still don't know what's real life and what's plain lies.”

“i'm so glad you're out of that lying phase.”

“he likes to be the only person on the road, so whenever he sees a car coming the other way he just pulls over.”

“nasa went through hundreds of them in the '60s. and now every time i see a really bright star in the sky i can't wish on it, cos in my head i'm thinking, ‘that's probably just a spacecraft with some monkey bones in it.’”

“you absolute traitor. that's my cheese - it's my fucking house!”

“don't you dare eat that cheese. you eat that and i will smash this. i promise you, i will smash you with this.”

“fuck! you switched them!”

“yeah, i can see it's fucking burnt, sherlock.”

“i honestly am ashamed to know him, sometimes.”

“if you knock on someone's door, don't take no for an answer. get into their house. if they say, ‘leave my house’, stay. and if they say, ‘i'm going to call the police’, you walk upstairs and see if there's anybody else upstairs to sell to.”

“she looks like uncle fester.”

“right. i'm going to piss in their flowers, then.”

“you really need to go home. your mum's called the police and everything.”

“you're also fired from being my best mate, by the way.”

“in business, there will always be setbacks. i don't drink my own juice, fray bentos doesn't eat his own pies. but that's business.”

“do you know what, i don't actually want to play this any more, because it is actually very, very boring.”

“i'm ashamed of myself, that's not usually me, so don't get the wrong impression.”

“i genuinely think one of them fancies me as well.”

“it's fate her moving across the street.”

“the problem with finding a girlfriend in the village is that most of the girls you meet round here are old-age pensioners.”

“yeah, i am looking for a relationship, but thing is i've just got so many trust issues, yeah, with being fucked over massive in the past, so no matter how much i get close to someone now i'm thinking in the back of my head, ‘shit, am i going to get fucked over?’ because i've been fucked over in the past massively. my last relationship proper fucked me up.”

“i went through a really dark phase. listening to papa roach and just blowing everything up with them little french bangers.”

“shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!”

“i don't like the man. i know he's my uncle, but i don't like him.”

“it's just malicious lies, that's all it is.”

“i'm not saying i've got a cruel heart, but if she ain't willing to take me as i am rather than the monster i've become, then she can literally just jog on back to sea with all the other fish cos i don't care.”

“what do you look for in a boyfriend?”

“the key to dating, yeah, is the two rs and the three ts. 'respect, rapport, and talking, talking, talking.' don't ever let that ball hit the ground. good relationships are built on great conversation.”

“on a date, you've got to tell them all the interesting stuff about you, because that's what they'll be interested in.”

“he said to me, he goes, ‘you can't smoke on here.’ i said, ‘i'm not smoking, i'm vaping.’ the look on his face when i said that. i don't think he knew what vaping… what a vape is.”

“you would make me the happiest mouse if you say yes and become my spouse.”

“here's a tip, [name], next time you take a chick out on a date, don't bore her to tears.”

“roses are red, violets are blue, i've got five fingers, the third one's for you.”

“get out of my way, pipe cleaner.”

“[name] phoned me the other day at three in the morning saying, ‘come quick,

there's a hedgehog in the garden that looks exactly like grandad.’ so i got up, i got dressed and i ran over to [name]'s as fast as i could and then i just stopped in the middle of the street at three in the morning and thought, ‘what the fuck am i doing with my life?’

“you're joking me? because if you are joking me, that is massively harsh.”

“oh, let me get a song up on youtube. you're going to absolutely love this, [name]. here we go… listen to this. oh, for fuck's sake, advert.”

“let's go down the pub and get shitfaced.”

“where do i see myself in five years? well, me and [name] will have a flat in the middle of the village and all of our furniture will be inflatable and we'll have cable and it will pay for itself, because we're going to use the spare room to breed quails, because their eggs are worth fucking shitloads.”

“is this about the calippo, still? because you offered to buy me that.”

“if he wants to go, good luck to him, i say. i reckon he thinks that i can't live without him, which is a laugh, because he went a whole weekend away once and i got on all right. i just ended up following this cat around the village.”

“i've got to do what's right for me, at the end of the day, instead of worrying about other people.”

“how about you say sorry? sorry for the massive knife that's hanging out the back of my back because of you.”

“oh, and while you're stabbing me in the back, feel free to bend down and kiss my arse.”

“can i just ask you an honest question? why would you want to leave the village when we've got a pub and a shop?”

“i think you don't know how lucky we have it to be doing nothing with our lives, like. we're all going to die, anyway, so what's the point in doing anything?”

“i want ownership of the words fucknut and dickmilk.”

“i had this come through the post. and i've got a few concerns about it. firstly, this guy on the front looks really arrogant. not the sort of guy i was expecting, if i'm honest.”

“this is starting to stress me out a little bit.”

“why are you trying to stress me out? you know i'm already stressed out as it is.”

“the bloke that used to live in there, right, kept hearing strange noises coming out of his attic at night. and he'd go to the fridge and find that food was missing from the fridge. so he thought, ‘i'm just going to go up to the attic and check this out.’ and he found an entire family of peruvian panpipe buskers just living up there. and he thought ‘i'm just going to leave them to it, ‘cos they're not really doing me any harm.’ and then, a few years later, he thought, "well, i'll just go up to the attic to check on them. ‘see if they're all right.’ and it turned out they'd all died of asbestos poisoning. yeah, he doesn't live here any more.”

“some people will always be scared of me, and i can't change that, no matter how nice i am. but there's a balance to be had between being nice and being feared.”

“don't really like catching up. it's not my thing.”

“i just watched this video of this girl doing a random act of kindness on youtube. she basically paid for this old man's shopping at the till. and this old man was, like, about 90 years old. and he's so fucking old, like, you could see through his skin. and he just starts bawling his eyes out. he's like, ‘you're fucking joking me, this ain't fucking real life.’ i just thought... i want to make someone feel like that. ‘cos that's... i really… that's what i want to do.”

“i'm not dead. just can't be arsed to text her sometimes.”

“you know, correct me if i'm wrong, but four texts a day is complete madness. no-one can keep up with that.”

“i am doing kind things selfishly.”

“i was at midnight mass one year, right, someone got tipped off i was there. as i was coming out the church, someone tries to shoot me with a crossbow.”

“well, i haven't seen the film, have i? that's why i came here - to watch the fucking film - like a normal human being.”

“i've made an effort by coming here tonight. i didn't want to come.”

“i had to wheel him here from his house in an asda trolley, cos he was just too heartbroken to move.”

“sometimes you don't know what you got until you ain't got it any more. like blockbuster's. i just took 'em for granted - and then, one day, gone, and you spend ages trying to figure out what went wrong, and then you realise it was your fault all along.”

“i thought you said you wanted to fix things.”

“she wanted it to go that way, and it just wasn't gonna go that way. she even got me thinking that they'd get back together… ..but that's manipula.... manipulative people... do that. and he's better off without her.”

“that wasn't much to write home about.”

“it's fucking dead, isn't it?”

“basically, somebody's been sending me threatening letters, and i don't know who's doing it - and i am concerned, because my peripheral vision is poor, so, if somebody attacks me from the sides or snipes at me from an upstairs window, i am fucked - but my hearing is excellent, see? so i just need to spend a few days inside honing my sonar, and i'll be fine then.”

“if you don't like the work, the circus is in town and they're always looking for clowns.”

“his soul is just going to crumble to dust.”

“this really is not a good situation for me. a physical threat is something that i can deal with, but a sexual thing is not my area of expertise.”

“just really fucked in the head, mate.”

“what have i done? i haven't done anything wrong.”

“do you know how sad that is? that is so, actually, sad. that makes me sad for you, that you can't take a joke.”

“i think i just got a bit carried away with the whole thing.”

“your finger's going up my arsehole, mate.”

“i'll hold the back of your head, so you don't bash yourself.”

“when i lie in future, i don't want a massive lecture on how bad lying is, cos deep down, you're the worst of us all, mate.”

“i'd quite like a coke.”

“it's going to be like gluing a breadstick back together, because… like, as if a breadstick's been in a blender and it's all… ...the pieces smashed up.”

“like, this one time i started a fight club in the village hall, and i got a black eye from beating myself up. but it made my enemies think, ‘fuck, if she can do that to herself, what the fuck can she do to me?’”

“i'm absolutely 1,000% sure i've broken it in two places.”

“i knew this day would come.”

“i should be in tk maxx, getting the bargains that i deserve.”

“unlike you, [name], i'm not a fashion disaster.”

“i'm still warm in my grave, and she's sucking off the pallbearer.”

“you know, it took me ten years to get over [name], and i only went out with her for half a day.”

“i swear to god, if i see him here again, i swear to god, i will have no hesitation in just going up to him and just planting one on his face.”

“right, then keep your nose out of my business, yeah? nosy old cock-womble.”

“[name]’s attitude to me is puzzling. if i walk past her in the street

and say hi, she'll tell me to fuck off. yet every year, she sends me a really sweet, nice christmas card. you know, there's just no consistency there.”

“he's good-looking up close, isn't he?”

“don't show me any weakness, because i will take advantage.”

“no, put the brick down, you fucking psychopath.”

“when i asked him, he just said, ‘come to my office now,’ which means we're in the fucking shit, cos we're always in fucking shit.”

“i shouldn't be paying you at all.”

“i've always had a son. i talk about him all the time.”

“he's my son. he's not my dog.”

“it reminds me of the wicker man. i don't really know why.”

“i just find it weird how you can be so close to someone and they can be such a big part of your life, and then the next minute, you're just sort of strangers in the night.”

“i don't want the emotional implications.”

“well, about five years ago, i sold my birthday to my mum for about 200 quid, which means my mum's legally entitled now to never celebrate my birthday ever again for the rest of my life. not even, like, a happy birthday cup of tea, or a moonpig card, nothing - which is the worst decision i ever made in my entire life.”

“he deserves that anyway, because he's been sexting my nan, so…”

“what's this surprise? cos i need to know whether it's going to be worth this walk.”

“i always see them banners above the motorway, and i always thought, ‘who the fuck does them?’ well, now i know. people like me.”

“did you know you can't get stung by a stinging nettle if you grab the leaf top and bottom, like that? it's only when you touch it on the sides, it stings. agh, actually, that stung, then.”

“pez dispenser, they're cursed. they are, i'm not even joking. honestly, when i had one of them, i had the worst bout of bad luck i ever had in my life.”

“i swear down, it's a short cut. it might be a pleasant walk, we might enjoy it.”

“i'm not scared of the fox twins. i'd just like to sit them down and ask 'em plainly, ‘look, guys, what is going on? ‘cos this has just gotten completely out of hand now. you know, stop walking on your knuckles, stand up straight, be the best version of you that you can be. get a job, even. there's a trolley boy who works at tesco's, you know, who may as well have been raised by wolves. if he can get a job, you guys can walk it.’”

“yes, there has been talk of strange goings-on in the woods, ghost sightings and the like. but… ...they're never from particularly reliable sources.”

“i live with a ghost. there's a ghost in that house. he's like a civil war cavalier, with all the hair and the hat and all that. and every time i walk into the living room, he doffs his cap. and on his shoulder, he's got this crow that barks at me. it means i spend less time in the house, really. not because of him, because he's-he's quite peaceable. but the crow is malevolent. and i'm not having that. i can't share my house with a malevolent bird.”

“that's haunted as fuck.”

“am i going mad here, or does that, to you, look like that's where just ghost will hang out all the time?”

“look at him, little red riding twat.”

“if he's got an attitude with me, i swear to god, i'll just grab the steering wheel and drive us all into a wall.”

“it's a bit annoying, actually. cos this is not the first or the second time i've had to tell you, really, is it?”

“his sparkle has just gone.”

“you know my dad actually wrote the song wonderwall on the back of a beer mat in the space of ten minutes, don't you?”

“i've just got a tiny, tiny, tiny little favour to ask you.”

“when i think of [name], i think of someone who is very loyal. and very, very stupid. sort of more stupid than loyal. sort of 70% stupid, 30% loyal, probably. because she's very loyal. but extremely stupid.”

“do you know what? i actually don't think he loves you at all and i don't think he's ever loved you.”

“all right, that's harsh and unnecessary, but fine.”

“frankly, she is behaving like the antichrist.”

“i literally just got here.”

“you are such an unemotional slab of ham, [name].”

“i've got so much shit on that man you would not believe.”

“there's something in my eye.”

“i just can't quit him, you know?”

“yeah, we might have a fiery relationship,  but when we're together, it's just… it's just pure chemistry, isn't it?”

“i'm not proud of it, believe me. but at the end of the day, i'm a very vindictive person, you know? it is what makes me me.”

“i basically went out and bought an alpaca off gumtree for £500. of all the mistakes i've made in my life, that was possibly the largest. definitely the physically largest.”

“yeah, i really don't wanna talk about that.”

“her only loyalty is to herself, staffies, and the tv channel dave… ...which, in my opinion, is a tv channel made by knuckle-draggers for knuckle-draggers.”

“i can't move on till i've seeked revenge, unfortunately.”

“if that was in france, that would be fine, but we're not in france.”

“the only thing we had in common, really, was stealing, and that was more my thing that i got him onto. but it just goes to show, you know, some friendships last and some friendships don't, but that's just the way it is.”

“you know it was me that got you sacked, don't you?”

“the thing i learnt about friendship is, you gotta accept each other's flaws, no matter how toxic they may be.”

“shit-stirring from beyond the grave.”

[cancerjupiter]

💨 air moons💨

If the Moon is in Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius, one adjusts oneself to the inflow of life experience by first assuming an intellectual detachment to assess things objectively through logic, or to test what is at hand using familiar concepts or theories. This tendency can of course lead to too much analysis, and a lack of clear decisiveness; but the potential for constructive and intelligent forethought can be valuable, and it is a quality often lacking in those with Water or Fire Moons.

gemini moon

If you multiply the fluctuations of the constantly changing Moon by the eternal changeability of Gemini, you arrive at some inkling of this Moon sign. It is the very opposite of stable and predictable. The strength of Gemini Moon is the quickness with which they react to input and to other people, and the rapid connections they can make with many ideas and possibilities. They adapt quickly to changes and their perceptions are often intriguing, motivated as they are by endless curiosity. In fact, they constantly need a variety of mental stimuli to keep them feeling alive and developing. The major problem for these folks, and for those who try to relate to them intimately, is that they never seem to know who they are for very long. They scatter their sense of identity and inner security along with their diffuse concentration. Emotions are a rather foreign territory for those with Gemini Moon and somewhat baffling for their illogical and fluctuating nature. They therefore need to communicate verbally about their emotional life to find some mental clarity about their irrational and changeable feelings (although sometimes talking endlessly and tiresomely with no resulting clarity). In short, they need to verbalize their emotions in order to feel connected with them. And, in close relationships, these glib and flirtatious individuals often continually experiment with their feelings, first expressing one thing and then another—to the profound dismay and frustration of their would-be partner—as if their chronic inconsistency and changeability have no impact on the other person.

This Moon sign is perhaps more averse to commitment than any other, and their emotional superficiality does not help the situation. There is a pitiful lack of touch with the subconscious, and although there is endless logical analysis of motives and rational examination, there is no change. This is only one manifestation of the dual-mindedness of this Moon sign, wherein one part of the mind does not know what the other part is doing or thinking. Contradictory reactions (even simultaneously) and unfocused thoughts and emotions often lead those with Gemini Moon to spread themselves too thin.

Gemini Moon desperately needs mental variety and learning of all kinds. But the primary challenge to them as they grow through life is confronting this question: With all these ideas and “facts,” do I have any depth of real knowledge, and with all this learning, have I gained any understanding? At their best, Gemini Moon people are witty and amazingly skilled in a vast number of areas, and they also have a lively communication style with a diverse array of people. At their worst, they seem possessed by—and thus at the mercy of—their own thoughts, leaving them endlessly perplexed and confused. They are also sometimes so subjective that they will not really even notice the other person with whom they are so actively talking and “communicating.” Grant Lewi also wrote perceptively about the intellectual pride of Gemini Moon:

“The picture of yourself that pleases you best is that you are an exceptional intellect to which the world listens to thankfully. To be as intellectual as you would like to be is a big order and may take more application than you are willing to put on it. Cleverness pleases you better than profundity. You would rather be funny than fair, exciting than stable, provocative than studious.”

Those with Moon in Gemini are often very clever, and they like to emphasize it, but their overly active minds, and their attempts to figure everything out through intellectual theories, can make them chronically unhappy. Despite the intellectual pride referred to earlier, their self-image is unstable, perhaps most of all because Gemini often finds it difficult to believe in anything. There is often therefore a confused self-image—and thus sometimes also an unclear sexual identity.

Women with Moon in Gemini are very talkative, very social, project a level of nervous energy in everyday life. Being around anybody with Moon in Gemini, there is a highly energy-charged atmosphere. The men share these traits with the women but also seem to be more like the types that “get around,” who are always on the go, doing something, giving somebody a hand. There’s a lot of versatility in both sexes, interested in many kinds of people and activities.

Emotional reactions are light-hearted, cool and startlingly versatile. Feelings flit like butterflies and are just about as hard to catch. To some, all the colour and brightness is irresistible. To others, the display is much too hollow, too unemotional, too fickle.

libra moon

Like Gemini Moon in the tendency toward indecision, but not nearly so scattered, this Moon sign weighs everything in their minds before reacting to any experience. One can get a feeling for this Moon sign by imagining a combination of the fluctuating Moon and the Libra symbol of the “scales of justice,” which oscillate up and down, continually adjusting even if a feather’s weight is added to one scale. Libra Moon often balances off whatever interpersonal input they receive, usually doing so gently. They take personal relationships seriously and pride themselves on fairness and being able to see the other person’s point of view. This tendency of putting themselves in the other’s situation, more marked in Libra than in any other zodiac sign, can be carried so far as to see them lean over backwards to please the other person—often even ignoring their own interests. Thei need to beliked that motivates much of their person-to-person behavior, to where it can undermine their highly valued objectivity. The desire to avoid unpleasantness can lead to relatively superficial, placating responses that may not be completely sincere—occasionally verging on flattery. They easily lose themselves in the other’s energy field and become confused about where they end and the other begins. Their spontaneous reactions are unconsciously modified by how the person they are interacting with is reacting!

There are, however, people with an imbalanced Libra Moon who exemplify one of two extreme modes of expression: either those with the tendency to please others and avoid any appearance of disagreement even to the extent of hypocrisy; or the occasional unpleasant ones who make it a point to be especially irritating and aggressive, as if to show you they don’t care what you think. In the first group, despite the powerful urge to play nice and pretend kindness, they seem almost unconscious of other people’s real thoughts and feelings. And of course, the second group would never in any situation bother in the slightest with anyone else’s thoughts or feelings. With either extreme type of Libra Moon personality, there is an inability to relate deeply and authentically.”

In both of the “imbalanced” types of Libra Moon just mentioned, the result can be a rather lonely life, something that is difficult and depressing for anyone with an emphasis on Libra, the sign of partnership par excellence. Libra Moon folks need sharing of ideas and idealism in life, and without that dynamic interchange and companionship, they do not feel secure or fulfilled. One sometimes wonders if there is deep down a profound fear of personal intimacy with some of these people, the emotional reactions often being so inhibited, regulated, and unspontaneous. One could easily interpret the motivation of the aggressive group mentioned above as a way of guaranteeing that no one likes them, thus making a close relationship, wherein they would have to give of themselves honestly and openly, completely impossible. This type of Libra Moon is completely self-centered and insensitive to others, and very exclusive in their views of other people and in their social lifestyle. They are also extremely opinionated. Although even the more pleasant and considerate Libra Moon folks can be very opinionated (even though they rarely acknowledge their true views in case it would cause disharmony), the irritating type of this lunar position is usually rigidly opinionated in a way that makes true communication a hopeless impossibility. People with this Moon sign often seem to lack intellectual confidence and thus seem unable to be comfortable with the natural Libran ambivalence toward important ideas. They then retreat into a safe opinion that does not have to be questioned or shared. The truly balanced Libra Moon personality can readily handle many sides of any issue or concept with impartiality.

aquarius moon

Those born with the Moon in Aquarius are the ultimate nonconformists. They instinctively react to most experiences in an unpredictable, often eccentric way. They will respond in a rather contrary way if you say, do, or expect anything that is socially or intellectually conventional. Independence is their primary guiding principle, and they pride themselves on their objectivity and intellectual integrity. In many areas of life, they are extremely experimental, and they rarely take anyone’s word for “truth” or as an ultimate authority—a quality that does not endear them to most of their bosses, supervisors, or even close friends, who may be far more knowledgeable in a certain field. Aquarius is after all the sign of the truth seeker; and it is the most scientific sign of the zodiac, in the true experimental sense of the word.

These guys feel most secure when exercising complete personal freedom of ideas, self-expression, and innovation. They need freedom like they need air, and they habitually rebel against too much restraint or anyone who tries to control them. Periodic radical life changes (social, geographic, domestic, or intellectual) provide some of this desperately needed personal space, rejuvenating and nourishing them, even though it may be difficult for themselves or their partners to endure. They have a rather odd emotional nature that infuriates and frustrates more conventional, predictable people, and this leads to their reacting eccentrically to many situations. The fact is, although they seem coldly mental, aloof, and sometimes even without normal human feelings, their emotional pressure builds up over time (since they find it impossible to keep in tune with those bothersome and murky passions and embarrassing needs); and it eventually explodes in impulsive, radical actions, or in sudden changes of plans or viewpoints. More than any other, Aquarius is a sign of extremism.

This Moon sign must be socially involved either directly with many people (such as in teaching or organizing conferences) or through publishing, social activism, or politics. They have an emotional need to affect large groups of people. Their humane understanding of broad human and social needs is actually much more perceptive than is their understanding of the needs of individuals. In fact, they often like studying entire societies or languages or other global issues, and the social sciences are frequently fields of interest for them. Aquarius Moon people identify with a society or with humanity as a whole. Their impersonal approach often elicits criticism from others about their aloofness and “coldness,” but in fact that very detachment enables them to respond to the emotional crises of others by remaining objective and staying above the turbulent and confusing emotional level. They are great friends and need to have friends that they would do anything for. You can tell them anything, and they’ll understand. They are utterly trustworthy, reasonable, and straightforward.… You discover how irrationally loyal these folks can be. Cool and detached they may seem, but they stick like glue to the people they love and respect. They stay in situations long past what others could handle and put up with.…

In fact, Aquarius Moon people rarely find their sense of security with family or physical relatives. They feel especially uncomfortable with such groups and the obligations and social protocols involved. They always seem to feel dissatisfied with their parents’ lifestyle and lack of communication, and sometimes that feeling of dissatisfaction extends to the country or culture of their youth. Therefore, they not only feel the need to detach themselves from the “oppressive” family, parental, and cultural influences, but they also sometimes extrapolate their dissatisfaction onto all of society and often expound many types of social protest. Good examples are John Lennon, Marilyn Monroe, and Lady Diana. A streak of rebelliousness thus pervades their memory of childhood and parental influences, and this affects their lifelong behavior in society. They insist on freedom from social obligations and conventional values.

The automatic contrary streak I mention above manifests in interpersonal reactions, in ways of thinking and discussing ideas, and in lifestyle. But it is the emotional contrariness and independence that sometimes cause them difficulty in relationships through others’ resentment or feelings of alienation. There is often an aloofness toward the sensitivities of others. Aquarius Moon folks prefer to maintain their stable focus and broad perspective than to be drawn into what appears to them the endlessly confusing morass of emotions that many people would like them to indulge in.

A dislike of routine and a strong need to prove self-sufficiency. A thread of separateness in relationships always seems present, as does unconventionality. Security with excitement is a major hard-to-achieve goal in life; needs constant stimulation within a fixed environment. I’ve had several close relationships with Moon in Aquarius individuals and none of them put any pressure on me to be any different than I am; they either accept or reject people but they rarely put anybody on the spot. I find Moon in Aquarius individuals to be straightforward once they’ve opened up. I always find myself confused in trying to figure out the independent yet sentimental nature of the Moon in Aquarius.

Both sexes can fixate for quite a period (sometimes days) on some extreme mood—either negative or unshakably upbeat. But the men were usually far less analytical about their current emotional state. In fact, whereas men with Aquarius Moon are usually seen to have remarkably steady moods, perhaps too steady in the view of many people who would like them to be more obviously responsive on a feeling level, women with Aquarius Moon seem to focus on their emotions and moods and then act them out in quite an extreme way. 

These people are very detached in daily life!! You can never tell what they are thinking or feeling, often they seem not to be listening at all! They dislike hassles and can withdraw at the drop of a hat, becoming very hard to reach or read. They are very matter-of-fact, very independent, self-assured when they do respond. They usually have something “different” about their lifestyles or interests. They usually have a very liberated sex life, experimental and blunt towards it.

[all-about-remadora]

200 followers!

So here’s a list of One shots for celebrate✨

Everyone Deserves A Someone by LoquaciousLupin

With nothing better to do during the holidays at Grimmauld Place, Hermione and Ginny wonder whether their former Professor has a special someone - with no other ideas, they do the only thing they can and ask him. With a little help from Tonks, Remus answers their questions as honestly... as he can. Remus and Tonks fluff.

A Beautiful Tune by SweetDeamon

I'm...not coming." he said, reaching to shove his hands deep into his pockets. "On the mission. With you." Tonks stared at him in confusion. "Why not?" she asked, grip upon the cloak in her hand going limp. Remus struggled to come up with a convincing lie. "Because I...I..." Because I'm dying. Because you've struck me dead in the heart.

The Unspeakable Girl by SweetDeamon

"She makes me feel so on top of this world that I wish I'd never been born into it in the first place! So I can't stand to talk about her, Dad! I simply can't!" In which Remus Lupin visits his father and confesses something quite extraordinary. Based on information from POTTERMORE. Consider yourselves warned. RLNT.

The Future's Not Ours To See by Gilpin

Remus Lupin has a lot on his mind; his current undertaking for the Order of the Phoenix, and how to obtain questionable potions from an unhelpful Apothecary owner. Can he bring both to a satisfactory conclusion?

Rhapsody in Blue by copperbadg

Remus has decided it's time to cure Tonks of her awkwardness, the only way he knows how.

Kissing It Better by Lady Bracknell

On her first date with Remus, Tonks discovers that spilt beer on wooden floors is the enemy of the less than surefooted everywhere. Will she die of embarrassment, or will Remus find a way to make it all better?

Kiss and tell by Lady Bracknell

For all his supposed genius, Sirius Black had always had rather a blind spot for the patently obvious.

What To Make Of Him by Lady Bracknell

Neither Ted nor Andromeda know quite what to make of their daughter's boyfriend. Can he win them round over Sunday lunch?

On First Impressions by  cafei-au-lei

"'You know,' Sirius said, 'it's kind of funny. For someone who thinks Remus is so annoying, you sure can't seem to stop talking about him.'" A series of moments in Remus and Tonks' developing relationship as they get to know each other and learn that maybe first impressions aren't necessarily everything. OOTP. Fluffy oneshot.

The Order's Most Eligible Bachelors by cafei-au-lei

The Order's Most Eligible Bachelors, or: the ladies indulge in some firewhiskey and gossip. Sirius and Remus stumble upon a game they're not sure they want to be privy to (okay, maybe Sirius does.) The results lead to some necessary conversation and introspection for a few of the parties involved. Oneshot.

The Talk, Or: The (Lighthearted) Trauma of Teddy R Lupin by cafei-au-lei

Teddy knew when Dad brought out the firewhiskey that something was suspicious. Then again, maybe he wasn't giving Dad enough credit for being the cool parent. AU. Remus and Tonks survive to raise their son and give him The Dreaded Talk. Oneshot.

Movement by MrsTater

Things appear to have changed. One shot, RLNT

Retrograde by MrsTater

Sequel to Movement: Tonks strongly suspected, though she hadn't much experience, that it wasn't normal for adults who fancied other adults to do what she was doing now.

Kernels by MrsTater

A Transfigured Hearts outtake: a cosy night in with Remus takes an unexpected turn when popcorn finds its way into odd places and leads Tonks to make an important discovery.

Party till the wolf comes by MrsTater

Fatherhood doesn't send Remus on a pub crawl, but announcing the birth of his son to his closest friends turns out to be the next best thing.

Overheard by MrsTater

Sirius tries to play matchmaker for an ambivalent Remus and Tonks, but when everyone keeps overhearing everyone else's conversations, things get a little complicated as shapeshifters prove to be anything but predictable... Updated Sept 3, 2007

The Honeymooners by MrsTater

Two years after their wedding, Remus and Tonks finally make it on their honeymoon. But now they've got something they didn't when they first married, will they be able to stop thinking about it long enough to enjoy themselves? AU

A Conversation That’s Not About Veela by starfishstar

Harry and Professor Lupin talk about women, and other things. During Christmas of HBP. (A gen story, but with very strong hints of Remus/Tonks and Harry/Ginny.)

Sleeping by starfishstar

Tonks sleeps; Remus muses

Precisely What I Mean by starfishstar

Remus with Teddy was easily the sweetest thing Tonks had ever seen. It seemed Remus couldn't ever hold Teddy without gazing down at his son with a huge, helpless, delighted grin. "Don't your cheeks ever get tired?" Tonks couldn't help teasing him once, and he'd glanced up, bewildered by the question – he didn't even realise he was doing it.

A Slow and Stopping Curve by aegle

Concerning Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. Set during Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince.

St. Margaret's by aegle

Remus, Tonks, a Muggle automobile, and a slightly disappointing beach adventure

On Bethlehem Down by aegle

Remus Lupin finds himself at Nymphadora Tonks' flat on Christmas Eve, 1996

The poem which i do not write by aegle

So, it has come to London with them, whatever it is.

The Watch by Sirussly

He'd grown so used to her endless chatter and relentless questions, a burning ball of energy with a laugh like her mother's. Some nights Tonks would listen to him instead, to stories of war and the price one pays for being a soldier in the middle of it. Occasionally neither of them would speak, but once her hand found his and stayed there until the sunrise coloured the sky.

Flame by Eat a Taco

It's strange what the soft light of a candle can do to someone.RLNT, sometime during HBP

Cover Me by Maggiemaye

Remus and Tonks embark on a mission that tests their well-established partnership to its limits. Even while surrounded by Death Eaters hidden in plain sight, they find that their greatest threats may come from within.

Expecto Patronum by Shimotsuki

Remus and Tonks have dinner at the Potters' after seeing Teddy off on the Hogwarts Express. James and Al are full of questions, including one that not even Harry knows the answer to.

Meet the Reindeer by SweetDeamon 

Nothing untoward had happened since Teddy had arrived home from Hogwarts for the holidays this year. So far there had been no manically jingling elves, no traumatised Santa Claus, no mass snowball fights, no exploding cans of fake snow and as of yet nothing had come hurtling down the chimney or splattered anything or anybody with ammunition of the culinary kind. So far. RLNT AU.

Meet the Teacher by SweetDeamon 

In which Remus and Dora receive word from Hogwarts that their son's homework has been completed in a far from satisfactory manner. The subject? Defence Against the Dark Arts. The topic? Werewolves. They've been expecting trouble since the beginning of term...but who feels less prepared? Teddy's parents or Teddy's teacher? Neville has a hunch... AU. RLNT. Rated for mild language.

A Study In Pink by SweetDeamon 

"He isn't entirely sure how it is that a certain pink haired witch came to be lying snugly in the bed beside him yet again, or indeed why such a thing had ever occurred the first time around..." RLNT.

A Piece of Cake by SweetDeamon 

"How long does it take to make a bloody sponge cake!" "You can't rush art, Sirius." Tonks attempts to bake Remus a birthday cake. "Attempts to" being the key phrase here... RLNT. Happy Birthday Gelly Bean!

The Christmas Waltz by Lady Bracknell 

As Christmas approaches, Remus and Tonks dance around the idea of togetherness, wondering if either of them is leading, or know where they're going at all.

Mistletoe and Wine by Lady Bracknell 

Remus falls foul of the mistletoe. Twice. RL/LP, RL/NT, LP/JP, rated for language.

Afraid of the Dark by Lady Bracknell 

Remus had always been ill at ease in the forest, but when a mission for Dumbledore sends him into the heart of the place with Tonks by his side, he finds his apprehension harder than usual to shake off.

The Luck of the Draw by Lady Bracknell 

She sits on the carpet, shuffles the cards, then deals them out. She came here with the hope of forcing the issue, because she just knows they shouldn't be about can't and won't.

Chione by: cafei-au-lei

Remus has confirmation that Tonks may return his feelings - now all that's left is to decide what to do with this rather exciting and terrifying information. And although it's been a strange year, this year's Christmas could shape up to be one of the best Remus has ever had. Takes place after "The Order's Most Eligible Bachelors." RLNT OotP holiday fluff.

The First Night by: cafei-au-lei 

Most major events in Remus' life have done nothing but reinforce the crushing inevitability of his condition and the life that it has condemned him to. But maybe there is hope to be had, after all.

amare by: cafei-au-lei 

At first, the idea that Tonks and Professor Lupin could be together was equal parts baffling and absurd. But then, maybe it did make a tiny bit of sense, Ginny thought, as she watched the way Professor Lupin looked at Tonks over the breakfast table. But she still couldn't help but think that this love and relationships thing was far too complicated. RLNT.

War Baby by MrsTater 

It's time for Teddy's first outing, and for Tonks to make peace with a noble great idiot. Set during Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Perchance To Dream by: MrsTater

A dream leads to an argument and an unexpected quest to seek out the meaning. Will Remus and Tonks kiss and make up? More importantly, who will come out on top? RLNT, Deathly Hallows, Mature.

Like a Cat in the Sun by starfishstar 

Remus is in a house full of women.

[home-of-the-heretics]

CHAPTER 2: FIGHTERS

Elsewhere, the dawn is shining blood-red through a skylight made of cracked stained glass. The intricate pattern sends a circle of crimson rays shooting down through the dusty air, forming a spotlight on the floor of the former church. It was dim, at least at first. But now, the area of illumination is growing brighter by the minute, and the message it sends is clear: the fun’s almost over.

So Dev cracks his knuckles and scans the crowd. The darkness doesn’t make it easy on him, especially with only one good eye to work with. But he manages.

Soon enough, he spots the man he’s looking for—the only one who isn’t captivated by the spectacle in the center of the ring, the one whose bald head cuts through the crowd like a knife. And hey, it must be a lucky day. The man’s trajectory is headed in Dev’s direction.

“Hey, bookie,” he murmurs, as soon as he’s in range. “Got a minute?”

The bald man halts, flashing a lopsided grin. “For you? Always. Some last-minute betting you wanna do?”

With a flick of his wrist, Dev presents a thick roll of bills. “Double my money on the short guy, will you?”

“The one with more concussions than points?” The bookie snorts, but takes the cash all the same. “You must know something I don’t.”

“Don’t play dumb, you know that old trick.” Dev glances around, deciding not to explain where just anyone could hear. “I always bet on the underdog.”

“You’re getting predictable,” he warns.

“Maybe just getting tired.” Dev cracks his knuckles again, trying not to wince. “It takes it out of you, playing this game long enough.”

“Okay, kid,” the bookie says with a harsh grin. “I’ll pretend you’re twice your age, and I won’t laugh you out of the building.”

“Thanks.” Dev scowls. “Now go do your damn job, will you? Laugh all you want, but I have a lot riding on predictability tonight.”

“All right, all right. Luck be with ya.”

Dresden watches as that bald head disappears into the sea of people again. Then he sighs and turns his attention to the crimson center ring again. It’s funny, he thinks. The boxers don’t look like they’re bleeding in that shifting light. Maybe they’re not. Maybe they’re just dancing. Maybe…

“Hey, Dev.”

“Fuck, what the hell?” Dev’s chest is heaving, and he has to fight to yank his spiking pulse down to a decent level again. “You know not to sneak up on me like that.”

“Yeah, I know, I know.” To his left, smack dab in the middle of his blind spot, stands his spiky-haired sister Ash. And when he turns to get a better look at her? She’s grinning. Typical. “Having fun?”

“I’m taking care of the fights, if that’s your question. They’re almost over now.” Dev takes a deep, deep breath and smoothes his hair back, recomposing himself. “How did your end of things go?”

“That’s…” The smile disappears, just like it always does when Ash has a lot on her mind. “Complicated. S’why I wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay,” Dev says, resuming his interest in the ring. The short one is taking the lead. “Then talk.”

“Not here,” she snaps. “Back home. Our spot.”

“Our--”

But before he can turn back to look at her, she’s already pressing something into his hand and slipping away into the building’s shadowy corners. Typical. Hesitantly, Dev peers down through the gloom to see what exactly he’s holding now…

Huh. It’s a tiny, glass vial, with what can’t be more than a few drops of a thick, black liquid.

Dev tries to push it out of his mind, pocketing the vial and watching the final rounds of the fight. But he trusts Ash, more than he trusts anybody else. And if she thinks she found something…

Dammit. If this isn’t the biggest break he’s ever seen, he is never going to forgive her.

(When the big guy hits the scarlet floor with a crash, and the bookie makes his rounds distributing cash to the lucky winners, he’s baffled to find that Dev’s already gone.)

It doesn’t take long to get up to Ash’s “spot.” Just a quick walk down a few streets on the abandoned side of town, followed by a couple flights of parking garage stairs. You’ll know you’ve made it when you see the soft glow of lanterns hanging from the roof of the penultimate floor.

“You wanted to talk?” Dev calls, stepping onto the asphalt and hearing his voice echo.

“Yeah. Found something weird.”

His sister is perched in her usual hideout: the rusting bed of a derelict pickup from dozens of decades ago. It almost seems like a part of the garage, at this point, especially when you contrast it against the warm lanterns and brightly patterned blankets that Ash always brings when she needs to think. It’s like another world up here.

So Dev shoves aside his exhaustion and treads with respect, climbing up into the truck bed and selecting a colorful quilt to wrap around his shoulders. “All right. Tell me about it.”

Ash is staring down at something in her cupped hands—a tiny bottle, just like the one she gave him. It’s only in this kind of light that she ever looks her age. Her fingers tremble, her nails are ragged, and her sallow skin is pockmarked with scars. But she’s just nineteen, despite it all. “Found this, today.”

“Yeah?” Dev pulls the matching vial out of his pocket. His very empty pocket, after tonight. He tries not to dwell on that too long. “Please tell me it’s something really important.”

“I dunno. Depends on what we do with it.” Ash holds hers up to the nearest lantern, flicking the side and watching the black goop splash. “It killed the last guy I saw taking it.”

Suddenly, Dev’s grip on the vial gets a lot more careful. “And you couldn’t have told me earlier? What, you discovered a new deadly toxin and just decided—”

“Not a toxin.” She shoots him a look. “Which one of us is the chemist, here? I think it might be some sort of… performance enhancer.”

Dev just squints apprehensively.

“It killed the last guy because he took ten times this amount,” Ash explains slowly, like it’s obvious. “He was one of those religious fanatics, too, so I think he might’ve spent what little energy he had left in him on that weird life transference ritual they do. And without that, the drug revved him up more than the engine of his body could handle. Made his muscles spasm, sporadic at first, and then simultaneously. Cracked all his bones at once.”

Dammit, Dev is too tired for this. He’s too tired to hear his kid sister say shit like that. “And this interests you?”

“Yes, of course it does. It clearly interacts in big ways with other types of body modifications, it’s powerful enough to get someone to tear himself apart from the inside…” Ash pauses to collect herself. “In more reasonable doses, even microdoses? It could help us.”

Dev stiffens. “Us.”

“Don’t act like you don’t know.” Ash looks away petulantly. “Actually, no, don’t act like I don’t know. Like I don’t see the state you’re in.”

“Not sure that fuckery is gonna really help that out,” Dev says warily. “Especially given—”

“This could fix us,” Ash cuts him off, and her voice is harsh, now. “It could keep us going. Could make me sharper. Could keep you from collapsing, could stave off the fatigue, could push you further, harder—”

“What if I don’t want that?” Dev snaps back.

There’s a pregnant silence.

“Why the hell wouldn’t you want a cure for everything that’s holding you back?” Ash asks slowly.

Dev opens his mouth, but he finds that he doesn’t know what he was going to say. He doesn’t know how to explain it. He’s—tired. Not just tired of being in pain, tired of—of fighting, maybe, but not like—not—

“Hello?” Ash is asking, one eyebrow raised.

Dev stows the vial away in his pocket and passes a hand over his face. “Can I just think about it for a while? It’s a lot to take in.”

“Sure, I guess, just—“

“Thanks. For showing me. And for giving me time.” Dev starts hauling himself to his feet, acutely aware of the pain in his joints as he does.

“You can stay, or—”

“I just need some time alone. I think.” Dev turns away and hops out of the truck bed, ignoring the jolt to his knees. “Good night, Ash, I’ll—talk to you later, okay?”

“But it’s morning,” he hears as he walks away. And from the tone of her voice, he knows a pair of puzzled eyes are watching him go.

He can not handle this kind of thing much longer.

This has been Chapter 2 of the Heretics. Find it and all preceding chapters on our official blog, and look out for a new installment dropping every Friday night!

[evilwickedme]

ok so to sum up my feelings for leverage: redemption, season 1(a): (long post warning, there’s a tl;dr at the end)

I knew that Hardison wouldn’t be in most of the season due to Aldis Hodge being a busy bee nowadays, but I didn’t realize that meant he’d only be around for the first two episodes. He was sorely missed, not only because of my attachment to him, but also because he’s usually the grounding factor in the group dynamic, and his role as info guy and tech guy was split evenly between two characters who had their own issues.

That said, Hardison is absolutely a highlight of the two episodes he’s in. his speech about redemption was everything I could’ve hoped for (plus, more evidence for the Jewish!Hardison pile...). I wish we’d gotten to see more of his dynamic with Breanna because what we saw was funny and sweet and we don’t generally get to see Hardison taking care of somebody who so desperately needs taking care of. I hope that Aldis Hodge is around for more episodes in 1(b), because what we’re left with feels a little hollow.

Sticking to original leverage characters for now, for the most part the leverage crew still felt true to the original series as characters, even if the show itself was a little bit confused at times. The actors understand their characters and embody them so well that I think one could give them the trashiest script ever and they’d still sell it. Sophie is a particular focus in 1(a) because of Nate’s death, and she’s particularly well written as a result.

That said, I’m super bitter that we saw little to no mastermind!Parker. Parker’s character being given the mastermind role was a big deal and it feels like they’re walking it back because they feel uncomfortable with it. It is eventually given an in-text excuse, but literally in the last episode, and it was not a particularly convincing reason, and in fact contradicted moments from previous episodes (Sophie leaving for a client meeting and ignoring Parker in ep3 comes to mind). It’s frustrating, it makes the end of the original leverage feel pointless, and letting Parker make a decision once in a while is not the same thing at all. The original series repeatedly showed us that while everyone in the team had their strengths, Parker works problems and solves them in unique, interesting ways, and other characters’ days in the limelight tended to be comedic or even failures. It’s a broken promise, and a pretty major broken promise at that.

On a more positive note, Parker’s dynamic with literally everyone was fantastic. She’s possibly the best written character this season. They’ve taken the autism out of the subtext and into the text (although obviously still undiagnosed), and given her coping mechanisms that were taken seriously in the text even when they were played for laughs, which I appreciated. Her attempts to mentor Breanna were sweet, her friendship with Sophie was electric and at times (CRIMES) hilarious, and as usual, she has a fantastic dynamic with Eliot that makes my heart burst. If you don’t think they’re romantically involved, at least acknowledge there’s a life partnership here. They’ve spent the last decade together.

(We’ll get to Harry.)

Eliot isn’t given much arc-wise, which is frustrating since he’s my favorite. He’s being presented as the goal at the end of a redemption arc, ie to keep working at it every day until your soul heals or whatever, and it doesn’t reflect the message they’re trying to convey via Hardison’s speech and our two new characters. He’s got his moments, but I think they under utilized his potential.

Breanna!!! Breanna’s my new favorite, except for Eliot. She’s hilarious, she’s insecure, she’s nerdy and excited in a way that’s similar to Hardison but still distinct in its inherent teenage-girl-ness and I LOVE IT. Unlike the previous series, where Hardison’s “age of the geek” was often a joke played on Hardison, we’re at the point where Eliot and Parker are both right there with him, and so they accept and even appreciate Breanna’s nerdiness. Also, canon gay character? In YOUR Leverage? It’s more likely than you think.

(No, I never thought they’d make ot3 canon on screen. I hoped, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.)

I think Breanna’s the character that will be the most interesting to see grow. She’s got a lot of potential and a list of crimes a mile long (or more). I adore her with all my heart. I want to see her tiktok account.

Harry. Oh, Harry.

It took me a while, but I do like Harry. It took a while, because the narrative positioned him at the same level as Nate back in episode 1 of original Leverage. But in episode 1 we didn’t know the other characters. We had Nate as the POV character, and so we cared about him because we were seeing the world through his eyes. (This is TV Studies 101. I know this, because I took TV Studies 101 in 2019.) In Leverage: Redemption, we no longer have a POV character, for several reasons:

Nate, previously the POV character, is dead.

As it is, by mid-season 3 of leverage Nate was no longer a POV character. This is, coincidentally, the point where the leverage writers realized they had four other characters in the main cast they could do something with, and in-universe, Nate accepted that he was a thief, not a special Good Man.

Sophie is sort of a POV character for the first episode of the revival, but only for the first few minutes. Afterwards, the series settles into the groove of seasons 3-5, i.e., the entire crew is our POV. We know our crew, and we love them as is.

Narratively, however, Redemption insists on positing Harry as the POV character, because it is his redemption we are pursuing most vehemently. And I think they really relied on us already knowing the actor - I’ve never seen him in anything before, so to me he was a completely fresh face and they put almost no effort into selling him to me. Beyond being competent and consistently mildly baffled by the antics of the leverage crew, I honestly don’t know who this man is by the end of EIGHT episodes with him. I have a much better handle on Breanna by the end of 1(a), and I can tell you I knew all five of the original leverage crew better by the end of the first episode of the original series than I do Harry. What’s the name of his daughter, John Rogers. Is he still married. How old is the daughter. Why is none of this worth mentioning. Give him a sense of humor that isn’t reacting to other people’s shenanigans. I’m so frustrated. It’s bad writing.

I did manage to grow to like Harry by the end, but I’m pretty sure this is down to Noah Wyle’s charismatic portrayal of an under-developed character, at least partially. And I never stopped being frustrated at not knowing who this man is at all.

The two highlights of the season are undoubtedly episodes five and six. Episode five was the first time I felt like the episode was more than a collection of good moments between the main cast and mediocre moments between the main cast and also the main plot. The issues with pacing and tone that I suffered through for most of the season were mostly non-existent in ep5 and 6, and at least in episode 5 I attribute that to the pared down cast. They had time to focus not only on our actual characters - Sophie, Parker, Breanna - but also on the case. This is the only client from 1(a) I am going to remember next week without googling it first, mark my words.

Episode six worked for the exact opposite reason - it completely disregarded the client and plot and immersed itself in the characters. Breanna gets a moment to shine, but everybody else gets their bits and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the script that was most fun to write. The characters felt natural, real, and captured the found-family dynamic that’s been missing all season for the first time.

While episode 2 is the weakest episode, I don’t actually have much to say about it. I am disappointed in episode 8. For a mid-season finale, I really expected them to do something. Instead, it was an episode about Nate Ford that copped out of being about Nate Ford (both with fake-Nate and with the new version of him being relayed to us). I would have told the writers to give that energy back to episode 1 and write an episode that’s about anybody who isn’t Harry, oh my God. I know I said I grew to like him but so many episodes were about Harry. He’s the newbie! Why didn’t Hardison get an episode that was actually about him, considering he was only around for two episodes? Why does Eliot have to be the butt of the joke when the theme of the series should directly tie back to him in a much more meaningful way? The last episode parodies their own tagline by saying Eliot isn’t just a hitter, but it deftly avoids noticing that they’ve turned him into nothing more than very muscly comic relief, including in that very episode!

Also, I hated the Marshal. Eliot actively looked uncomfortable around her.

tl;dr

The season took a while, that’s definitely true. But it did find its footing eventually, and by the halfway mark of 1(a) it finally felt cohesive again. The characters were played fantastically even when they weren’t well-written, and if nothing else, the humor landed every time. It still has its kinks and problems to work out, but if you look at it as a brand new show rather than a continuation of one that went off the air over eight years ago, it’s actually doing rather well. I’m choosing to judge it in both lights - according to its own standards, it establishes its identity in episode five; according to Leverage standards, it establishes its connection to its roots in episode six. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed 1(a), and continue to have high hopes for 1(b).

fic writing will commence in three, two, one...

[phandompenny]

Tag Yourself but it’s Mertens Fic Recs

Mertens ( @cherryflavoredtrasheater​ ) writes a lot of fanfiction, and I love a lot of it. This creates a problem, as I try to have many different authors on rec lists but can't rec Mertens fic quickly enough. So here's the solution! Tag yourself as a Mertens fic, and give it a read (and maybe a few others)!

The Dinner Party

You hate playing those games like Mafia or Among Us because everybody thinks you're suspicious no matter what you do, but you're actually innocent!

A social circle can be you and your two friends, why get more complicated than that?

You get stressed about little details very easily

Sometimes people laugh at the stuff you say and call you clever and funny, but you don't know how you've fooled them into thinking this

Your loved ones? You will fight for them! You will DIE for them! but that gives you the right to make fun of them (lovingly, of course)

Tread Softly (The Cloths of Heaven Series)

You feel sad about falling out of touch with that one friend you met six years ago and really hit it off with. should you message them? no, that'd probably be rude.

You just want the simple things in life. To curl up with a blanket and a book and a warm cup of tea. Maybe a hand to hold.

You've been called the mom/dad/parental friend

It's possible you listen to ASMR

You have anxiety

The Opera Rat Really Did Exist (Rat AU Series)

You say things sometimes just to see how people react

So much drama just flies over your head and you don't understand any of it

You have a solid friend circle that you make content for and ignore the rest of the world. On your stage, you're a star.

You're very attached to some small trinkets, worthless in all eyes but yours

me? do a bad thing? NEVER!

A Love There Is No Cure For (Sonnet 86 Series)

You don't always think things through, and it causes trouble

You're unnecessarily dramatic

Chest pains? Yeah but those are normal why would I need to see a doctor?

You put a lot of thought into gifts you give people

Your best friendships are all with people you've had huge fallings out with, and after making up your relationship became stronger than ever

The Naming of Cats is a Difficult Matter

You like Cats (the musical)

I thought about just leaving it there but that might make people not read this so there's more don't leave

You make promises you can't keep, but with only the best of intentions

You are a creature of habit, and these habits are things others find baffling

You've pulled an all nighter before. At least one, probably several.

You can be responsible but that doesn’t mean you WANT to be

The Phantom of the West Tower

You're really sweet, once people get to know you! But you're also shy and hate introducing yourself

You blend in well with the crowd

You have actual plans for your future and are working towards them. I respect you.

You feel certain there shouldn't be a conflict between humanities and sciences, people can be interested in more than one thing guys! That's where creativity lies!

You're probably a genius but are too modest to recognize it

Je ne te comprends pas

You've travelled a lot

You're not afraid to learn new things, even if they seem hard!

You have no idea how to flirt and you don't really need to know how, right? surely you can just. TALK to whoever you're interested in

That said, you’re totally in love with somebody important to you and don't know how to tell them

You stand your ground in a fight, but you're quick to apologize when you've done something wrong

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

You're comfortable with your life choices that brought you here

The exception to the above point is that one embarrassing thing you did in front of a stranger that haunts you to this day

You occasionally get bad migraines

You're willing to come up with “creative solutions” if it's for the greater good.

You have absolutely no ability to tell if people are flirting.

Tiny Maestro (Gremlin AU Series)

You don't know many things and at this point are too afraid to ask

You are incredibly up to date on the latest memes and idk, Tik Tok dances? I'm not one of you and cannot comprehend your mind

To you, love is being able to be with somebody despite their weird quirks. Because they're worth it.

On the downside, you can be stubborn. On the upside, you're usually right.

I fear you more than anybody else on this list

[silenthillmutual]

daniil dankovsky is autistic and here’s why:

because i’m autistic and i said so

i kid, obviously. what sort of autistic person would i be if i wasn’t read to back up my silly little claim with an overly long post of evidence a total of three people will read? (hi ned hi jordan hi raven :))

i’m aware that this is cringey because adults aren’t supposed to have autism or interests or talk about either of those things, but this is my blog and you are free to block me if the cringe is too much for you.

these are some things i picked out from the DSMV’s diagnostic criteria, found on the CDC website:

deficits in social-emotional reciprocity

reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect

abnormal social approach

abnormalities in eye contact and body language

defecits in […] understand[ing] relationships

difficults adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts

repetitive motor movements or speech

rigid thinking patterns

highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus

hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input

there’s also some misc. stuff not in the diagnostic criteria (though it may be in the adir or gars-3) i thought was worth noting.

important note from the diagnostic criteria: “symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning”. i’d say that in his case, they do.

spoilers for pathologic classic, pathologic 2, and the marble nest

deficits in social-emotional reciprocity

in bachelor route of classic, daniil

seems completely oblivious to eva making advances toward him, to the point where she complains to him that he’s ignoring her in favor of asking questions about simon.

seems surprised when people mention maria being in love with him, despite outright asking her a couple of times if she’s flirting with him.

not to mention the fact that he asks her that at all.

his inability or resistence to making connections with others is typically considered one of his character flaws. although it is not outright stated in the dsmv criteria, one trait of autism and other neurodivergencies is “having extremely high or extremely low empathy” - and daniil, despite being a doctor, lacks empathy. which is not to say he doesn’t care at all. i think that he does, but is terrible at showing it.

for example, this scene from marble nest:

Sticky: You must feel terrible… right? That’s fine. I forgive you. You just got confused… Adults always do. Daniil: Oh yes, adults are always occupied with the most asinine nonsense. Like feeling anxious that a bunch of urchins keep roaming the streets, putting themselves in mortal danger!

daniil clearly cares about sticky’s wellbeing (and the wellbeing of the kids looking after him, though he’s not cognizant that he’s in a coma), but his way of showing it is… kind of by being a jerk. all of which bleeds into the next item on the list

reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect

he has no problem sharing his interests, but in both pathologic classic & pathologic 2, daniil speaks with a flat affect - which is to say that he lacks intonation. the words we read him saying may be dramatic or come across as passionate, but the actual voice reading his lines is very monotone, which may contribute to being read as lacking emotion.

and in pathologic 2, he has a voiceline lamenting not telling “her” (eva?) how he felt

in marble nest, he’s teased by the tragedians for being “heartless”:

Tragedian: Maybe. Possibly. But it’s useless to explain to a heartless man. …Take heart, Excellency! If you ever find it, that is. And then come back to us… Even though it all sounds like a rather implausible turn of events.

abnormal social approach

daniil has a tendency to say things that are tactless, odd, or just socially inappropriate. i probably don’t need to point out too many examples, as i think it’s fairly obvious - these are the things people love to pick at when it comes to him, but i do have a few in mind. like, for example, from haruspex route in classic:

Haruspex: What of the antibodies essential for making a serum? Bachelor: I don’t know for sure yet, I’ll send you a report in a few hours. Don’t go about cutting people’s hearts out for your panacea until then. It’s a… controversial solution, you know… Haruspex: What?! Do you even hear yourself? Bachelor: Sorry! I meant no offence… it was just a momentary lapse of… well, you know. Haruspex: None taken.

until artemy points out, daniil doesn’t seem to be aware he just said something rude. even with therapy, picking up on social cues doesn’t come naturally to people with autism, so we tend to say things that come across as rude or strange to others without realizing we’ve put them off. we tend to lack a “filter” that tells us when things are or are not appropriate to say. even when we may recognize it, the rules may not make any sense to us. for example, it makes very little sense that allistics favor politeness over honesty.

i think the glaringly obvious abnormal social approach in pathologic 2 is him threatening to hold artemy at gunpoint to get in the house, which is just overkill, but my personal favorite comes on day 7, when he’s complaining about the orders aglaya has given him. artemy stops him to say he doesn’t understand what daniil wants from him, to which daniil replies:

From you? Oh, nothing. I was just sharing.

to daniil, they were just having a normal conversation. but some part of this - his tone or his words or maybe even his body language - didn’t give artemy the impression that this was supposed to be a regular conversation. (we could, in fact, attribute the same idea to artemy here; why didn’t artemy pick up that this was a normal conversation? the reason i count it towards daniil is because artemy doesn’t seem to have this problem with anybody else. for the record: i don’t think artemy is neurotypical either.)

abnormalities in eye contact and body language

it’s hard to get proof of this in video games, but i will say i think it’s very funny that in pathologic 2 daniil’s idle animations are “pacing”, “sitting like he desperately wants to start bouncing his knees but is stopping himself from doing it”, and “standing unnaturally still” - but there you go. i don’t know anything about making gifs, or i’d gif this one specific talk menu idle he does where he holds eye contact for about three seconds, looks away uncomfortably, and then looks back out of the corner of his eyes.

deficits in […] understand[ing] relationships

mostly examples from his route in classic:

when the army arrives, he can claim to block that aglaya, whom he’s known for two days, is his best friend

he seems baffled by the fact that everone is smitten with maria and working with her, and seems equally baffled by the idea that she’s smitten with him

despite eva implying on day two that she is in a relationship with andrey, is completely blindsided by the revelation on day 6, asking him, “How in the world is she ‘your woman’?”

i’d also like to use his sign-off on his letter to artemy, day 2 of the haruspex route - he signs it as “Your friend (hopefully)”. i know i’m not the only autistic person who used to ask people if we were friends or not. pro tip, if you’ve never done this: don’t. it really weirds people out.

difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts

the fact that he stands out is blatantly obvious even in pathologic 2 and in the haruspex route of classic. people will comment on him being an outsider and mention that they don’t trust him. but you can watch it happen in real time in his route, because he never fully acclimates to the town. he says something about this to aglaya on day 7:

Bachelor: Was there any particularly notable backstory? I’m deadly tired of all these people. They’re inhuman. They tell the future, believe in walking zombies, and die in all manners of painfully abnormal ways. Inquisitor: Your line of t hinking is obviously falacious - and I was implying something rather mundane. I promise you, no one can really tell the future around here: and neither are deaths inspired by third parties uncommon. Mysterious phenomenons do occur here sometimes… but hardly more often than anywhere else.

actually, there’s an example of him saying something similar to artemy on day 5 in pathologic 2:

Damn this town… I feel I’m trapped in a nightmare. The absurdity of it all… There’s no one to talk to. Everyone’s so volatile. They all seem to want to help, but… their help is worse than hostility.

some of this can be explained by the town’s strangeness, but keep in mind that the first instance happens after he’s been there and involved in the ongoing for an entire week, and the second at nearly a week in. clearly he’s struggling to adjust to the changes.

it’s also worth noting that his reason for fleeing the town in the nocturnal ending?

I have no place here anymore.

This town is no longer mine. No longer human. No longer rational. It doesn’t… accept the likes of me anymore.

repetitive motor movements or speech

it’s harder to see the motor movements in classic, but remember how i pointed out earlier that he paces? pacing is a form of stimming. murky, who is canonically autistic, can also be found pacing as one of her idle animations. having stock phrases for characters to speak when you come near them already ticks off the box on “repetitive speech”, but that by itself doesn’t really cover what they’re talking about - echolalia.

but you know what this does fit with? “‘quoting’ things(communication is HARD! sometimes we need to take shortcuts and use someone else’s words)“

i’ll get to the more obvious example in a minute - i want to point out something that happens very early in pathologic 2 first. you know how you first meet him and artemy accuses daniil of trying to guilt-trip him by asking if it’s true that isidor would still be alive if artemy had come sooner? keep in mind that he spoke to rubin first. and this is what rubin says, when you get a chance to talk to him:

Yesterday, I was told you had killed your father.

That’s not far from the truth, Burakh.

You betrayed him. You left when he needed you most. He cried out for your help, but you didn’t care. He was in peril, and you were too busy elsewhere, He believed, truly believed, that your arrival would put an end to his troubles. And, as always, he was right.

i’m not saying this was necessarily the game’s intent, but it’s entirely possible daniil is parroting back to artemy exactly what rubin said to him.

now, for what you’re probably expecting in this section: the latin. people love to refer to his use of latin as “random”, so let’s clear that up:

it is not latin daniil has made up. with the exception of latin that is mispelled in the game’s texts, all of them are proverbs or otherwise common sayings. you can find most of them on the wikipedia list of latin phrases, or through a 3-second google search.

he’s a doctor. him having taken latin isn’t anymore strange than a lawyer taking latin. in fact, if you pay attention, artemy also took latin; this is implied when artemy tells him he’s always sucked at it.

his uses of latin actually aren’t random at all. what he says fits the situation, and sometimes is used in place of him having to come up with something to say on his own.

prime example:

Forget it, Burakh. I have a splitting headache. If you have no urgent business, then we’ll talk later. Later, later… Qui non proficit, deficit.

qui non proficit, deficit - he who does not advance, loses ground. in other words, “i’m sorry, but i really do need to keep working.” one of his voice lines.

as for why he doesn’t translate the latin: it probably wouldn’t even occur to him to. these are not obscure sayings. the utopians all have a certain degree of education - what would he need to translate them for?

this bleeds into something that isn’t really mentioned, but that i’ve found i have a lot of trouble with in everyday life. autistic people have a tendency to either overexplain (and then have everyone get mad at you because they feel you’re being condescending) or underexplain (and have everyone get mad at you because you haven’t explained anything). the latin would be a case where it feels like a justified underexplanation. you’ll notice that when it comes to anything scientific, he tends to do the reverse, and overexplain. this also happens in classic, whether artemy has asked him to clarify or not.

rigid thinking patterns

the thing i had marked for this was simply his strict adherence to western medical practices and refusal to acknowledge the supernatural, even when it seems obvious - he has a conversation in his route in classic with yulia about this, and that is in fact how he manages to get to her: by asking saburov if there are any other logical skeptics in town. it should be noted they seem to be breaking with this in pathologic 2, where one of his voicelines is “I’m no positivist. There are things in this world beyond our mundane perception.” i have no idea where they’re planning on going with that.

there’s also a quote floating somewhere around twitter about him having been raised by a military man, and militaries tend to enforce very rigid routines. you could say the same thing of block - who (in classic at least) i also have my suspicions about.

highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus

special interests. the one that should obviously come to mind is thanatology, though i would argue latin if not classics in general is a special interest of his as well - in addition to his usage of latin, he also references pericles in the marble nest and was probably refering to the roman occupation of haruspicy in addition to augurs in the same text. he also makes references to shakespeare more than once in both marble nest and pathologic 2.

hyper- or hyperoreactivity to sensory input

i don’t have much written down for this one but there seem to be several places in classic especially where he asks npcs to stop shouting at him. we don’t really have the privilege to know their volume or how they’re interacting with him, but i think it’s also worth noting that he’s the only one of the healers who wears gloves. in pathologic 2 he’s the only named character i can think of who wears them at all. his thing in the lucid dream about the brain being “a border”? gloves are his border, as is his jacket, which may be worn to cut down on sensory issues.

he will also sometimes seem to “overreact” to the situation at hand - such as in classic, when some dogheads mispeak and say that daniil is going to “sterilize” them, and instead of understanding that they must have mispoken, freaks out over the idea that they think they’re going to be… well… sterilized. or in haruspex route, when his reaction to the inquisitor arriving is to threaten suicide.

miscellaneous

he never goes anywhere without that carpet bag. we don’t see it in pathologic 2, but we do hear about it and he doesn’t let it go for a second in classic - not even in the cutscenes where he’s using the microscope. his bag could be a comfort item.

“getting very attached to things like inanimate objects” could work for the bag - but you know what it actually fits the bill much more obviously? the polyhedron. in the haruspex route he recognizes that it’s a lost cause, but he’s still too attached to it to let it go.

in classic at least, daniil is absolutely terrible at lying. most autistic people either are not good at lying, or feel uncomfortable or anxious with having to lie. when he’s asked by yulia and the kids in the polyhedron to lie to block (for different reasons) he’s clearly uncomfortable with the idea that it’ll work. and when it actually comes time to come up with a way to lie to block about why he needs five rifles, your options are to either buckle and tell him the truth, or simply say that you need them for “self-defense”. block believes that you’re not lying to him, but daniil can’t come up with any embeleshments to explain why he needs what he’s asking for.

Commander: Are you hiding something from me? Bachelor: No.

he comes across as naive to other characters. in classic, capella has a voiceline saying, “The Bachelor is not smart. Intelligent, yes… but not smart.” in Pathologic 2, Daniil complains that Aglaya takes him for “a useless dreamer”. he’s also easily used by the Kains to fulfill their endgame in classic.

my final, and absolute favorite: he takes things way too literally. autistic people (and adhd people, from my understanding) have a hard time differentiating jokes and sarcasm. so my favorite moment in marble nest is a case of him taking that earlier advice - to “take heart” literally, by bringing the tragedians a literal human heart:

Tragedian: Oh… Excellency. What a sordid sight! Sorry for underestimating you. You definitely do have… how shall I put it… a creative touch. But this is pure madness. You can’t take things so literally! Daniil: You wanted me to come back to you with an open heart. Well, here I am. …It looked too fitting to be a coincidence.

your mind map, after this, updates to say “I misunderstood the tragedians.”

conclusion

people don’t stop being autistic with age and i think he’s a good example of what it’s like to be in your late 20s and be autistic. i’m sure i missed things as i haven’t finished haruspex route of classic yet and there may just be some other things he does or says that i missed! if anyone has anything to add they think fits i would love to know, thank you for your time :)

[werezmastarbucks]

crete

honeymoon masterlist

word count: 2194

warnings: drowning

music: prove me wrong by tyler joseph, ¿ by bmth and halsey

Another time Kai died out of his own stupidity.

It was incredible, really, how he, such a brilliant mind, resourceful and sharp, terrifyingly shrewd and quick-thinking sometimes put zero consideration into things he was doing. If there was some kind of underlying point in the things he sometimes did, it escaped you. Sometimes it seemed he has been bashed on the head on the day he was born. That was what made him so fun to be isolated with. Kai Parker was so unpredictable.

Like when he ran you both off the cliff, which he then explained as a romantic bonding experience.

After all, what makes people the closest?

You were shaking with rage. You couldn’t even speak, after you resurrected, on the beach, among the crooked debris of your car, smelling something still burning, with a headache.

Killing somebody together. But there’s no one here to kill, so...

So we died together, holding hands, and it was amazing, for once.

He had a dreamy expression on his face. You recalled the horrible moment the car hit the ground; you almost fell out of your seat by that time, and in a split second, you finally understood why Kai always had a seatbelt on. The pain, the sound of your own spine cracking. The hammer-like sensation of the weight of the ground pounding your head, breaking your skull. You were lucky the car simply dived in, and you both fell heads first, dying almost instantly.

It all made sense to him, and you were afraid that you’d spend enough time with him to start seeing his way, too.

But the next time he died on his own, because, like all geniuses, he was incredibly dumb in the most unexpected places.

This place was called Koureménos, and Kai knew how to pronounce it, and you didn’t. You have been to Greece before, but obviously this time was different. For once, it was the past.

Another obvious thing that you don’t take into consideration before you face it: the mountains don’t care whether it’s past or future. They live millions of years, and barely ever change. Even vampires like Klaus Mikaelson may seem children compared to mountains. It was impossible to tell what year it was, standing on the top of the hill, looking into the sea. The sea barely changes, too. It’s just cyan blue and deep, and you especially adored the two seas in Greece; Aegean more so than the Mediterranean, because it had more temper. It changed colors. It listened to you. It had furious, playful waves. It beat people on rocks, threw them around like toys. It was like... Kai.

“So, how does one love?” he asked.

You were sitting at the rock, the hard stone biting into your bare knees. You turned to him with a swing. Kai didn’t care for the sun. He didn’t care for the wind. Was he so jaded with life that the particles of his skin themselves stopped feeling the change in the temperatures? He always wore jeans and a shirt (he changed those every day, but they always were the same), and a hoodie with a zip. He was like a living Sim, you realized. A customized video game character.

“What?”

He looked like the words came out of is mouth in spite of him. God knows what he was thinking, and what was so special about you sitting on the rock, crouching, your back to him, and groaning, trying to get your sandal out of in between two sharp rocks, that he suddenly wanted to know about love.

Kai asked a lot of questions about things he never talked about before. He didn’t have anyone he trusted enough to ask, how one does love, and what it means, and how death feels to others, and what they dream about. You were realizing those questions had nested, piling up and up on his mind, for years, and he didn’t see anybody suit to hear them. Most probably, nobody wanted to hear them. He was asking questions about things a child should understand. Like why people cry. That one time he asked you, do you still get spooked? about your nightmare opened him up a little to you. You realized he lived in a completely different world. Unfortunately, it made it even harder to be mad at him.

Now he wanted to know how one loves. Even the way he has phrased it, it made you see he has no idea.

He was sorry he asked. You never ever pushed him away at the moments like that.

“Come here”.

He walked quietly, like a cat. Always. It was extremely unnerving. Even when he didn’t need to sneak, he still did. You did not know what his steps sounded like.

Kai stood next to you, unwilling to get on your level to hold some control.

“You told me you have loved someone, right before you killed me in Italy”, you said, scornfully.

“Yeah, I know the feeling, but I don’t know what you’re supposed to do”.

You stood up. You didn’t like it when he hovered over you like an executioner.

“For one, you don’t kill them”.

He looked you right in the eye without any expression.

“Easy to say, harder to do. I get this need to kill whenever I get close to someone”.

“I feel like you talk from experience”.

He looked at the water.

“Uh-huh. I killed my first girlfriend. I’m still wondering what I did wrong”.

You fought the urge to say ‘killing her, probably, was it’.

Instead, you asked, with a creeping feeling that you’re turning into him a little, while he’s taking on your features,

“How?”

“Drowned her in the pool. I banged her head on the tiles first”.

“Why?”

Kai thought for a bit.

“So that she wouldn’t wiggle”.

You sighed.

“Or to make her suffer less?” he asked, with hope, trying to cheat. You shook your head with a smile.

You felt inclined to hug him. Kai actually gave you a super useful advice. It’s only you and him. Although you wanted it very bad, you didn’t have to fight your affection for him. There was no point fighting it.

You wrapped your arms around him, and he lifted his elbows a little. You barely hugged in the daylight before that.

“The first rule of loving someone is not to hurt them. Everything else is improvisational and welcome, I guess”.

“Have you ever thought about hugging, too?” he mumbled, returning it. His hand lay on your shoulder, palm cupping it, and you felt like belonging. He smelt not worse than sea. He was slowly sponging the smell of May.

“How silly it is. You just catch someone passing and restrict them for two seconds, it’s so weird when you think about it. Stop, and press your body against mine, buddy. I’ll also slap you on the back or hold your head”.

You chuckled.

“It’s all a part of the old desire to be one with somebody, I think”.

Your face was muffled slightly by his chest, and you didn’t mind talking into his shirt.

“That’s why some people cannibalise each other”.

“People cannibalise each other because they’re sick, Y/N”.

You unclasped your arms, and you were quite satisfied at the nonchalant look in his eyes.

“Does it feel good?”

The wind was gently swaying you to and fro, and you stepped away from him, to see him better, at the same time trying to put your hair behind your ears. The silent shore howled in midday.

“What?” his face gave a funny expression, “canniba-”

He didn’t finish, - or, you didn’t hear. The wind pulled you and sucked you in because you stood above the natural rock vortex, going down into a V-shaped  notch in the cliff. The wind said, whooo? as it took you in. Your damn sandals did not help either, your ankle bending on an uneven ledge. You fell back first, and didn’t even yell, just ouched in surprise, like a kitten. This prison world somehow taught you both not to scream when falling, or when in pain.

The fall wasn’t scary, and wasn’t long. You plushed into the water your ass first, and dived out the next second, puffing in irritation. You were baffled, sure, but you could swim.

And then Kai went into the water like a dead brick, and started chaotically moving in all directions, coming in and out of water. As you tried to float, you moved away to give him space, but he kept wiggling like he didn’t have arms to sway. His head came up, and then went down under the water.

“Kai?”

You realized he doesn’t know how to stay on water. You realized he was drowning.

You tried grabbing him, but the mighty Aegean sea said, no, and the waters, restless in the narrow notch, threw you both back and forth. In these waves, even one person would find it hard to float: you’d have to swim. You were perfectly ready to do so, but Kai didn’t seem to even know what to do. Did he get sucked into the tunnel, too? Or did he jump?

“I can’t swim!” he announced, and his arms grabbed your neck like anybody would do. You went under the water with his weight and yours, and panicked. It was all just a very messy, air grabbing, water swallowing experience, having Kai drown right in your arms. He nearly drowned you, too, and in the end, after several attempts to pull him by his hair or the hoodie, after being thrown against the rock, and splitting your temple, and swallowing about a gallon of water, you could barely stay on water yourself.

I can’t do it, you thought, he’s going to die.

It’s so easy, to let someone die. You watched Kai fight the water like a butterfly with wet wings. You held on a rock, trying to breathe, to rush back to him. You hoped that maybe when he blacks out and stops jerking so much, you can pull him out. You asked yourself, your mind racing with panic, if you would try to pull him out if it was for real. If you knew he’d die for good. And decided it didn’t matter. If you were set on fixing that boy, even a little, just for yourself, to show him how to love, you couldn’t let him drown in here, either.

But you were so exhausted that as soon as you let go of the rock that the sea was washing your blood off you went under the water yourself. You tried rolling onto your back to keep yourself above the water, cursing the damn sea with all the words you knew. You reached out to Parker hanging vertically in the water, ethereal and white in the greenish clean water, bubbles around his porcelain face, and you blacked out.

You both woke up on the shore, dry and far away from the water, and you reckoned you died, too.

How mundane it was now, even though you’ve only died for the second time.

You just woke up, not a single drop of water in your nose. No coughing, no dramatic sea water spitting. Your hair was dry, and you were a bit hot, lying in the sun and all, and Kai was sitting next to you, blinking slowly at the brink of the sea.

You were torn between wanting to stroke him on the shoulder and call him an idiot. Maybe you could caress him gently while calling him an idiot.

He turned and looked at you like he studied you as his subject. His eyes were rich grey and just a bit narrowed.

“You come round longer than I do. Second time already. Do you see anything?”

You checked your electronic watch to see if it’s working.

“Why did you jump, you...”

You hummed instead of finishing.

“I thought you couldn’t swim”.

“Wait, wait a second”, you stood on your knees in the soft heat of the yellow sand, “I thought you said you couldn’t swim”.

“Yeah, no, I can’t”.

“So, why did you jump?” you yelled. Kai’s face expressed confusion.

“I assumed you’d drown. I didn’t want you to die alone”.

“God damn it”, you heard yourself. Something in you moved. You heard your own voice, spiked with worry. You were worried about him. He sat there in the sand, looking like he was cut out of a magazine, from the page that had an article about how bad the video games are for your kid; he sat there, looking like a puppy that knew it was about to be punished. You thought that maybe you yelled at him too much, forgetting how well Kai plays victim all the time. He could weave you like sails.

“God damn it, don’t do it again! You knew you’d die!”

He chuckled, with a portion of pity.

“Y/N, you know it’s not for real”.

“Yeah, but still. It still sucks, dying. Haven’t you had enough?”

He sighed.

That is how you love, by the way, you wanted to add. But something stopped you.

You also decided not to tell him you only drowned because you were trying to save his ass. Let him learn this lesson in selflessness he gave himself.

[too-scared-to-do-this]

Of the Devil’s head

Chapter nine - All the forms that evil takes

Sander’s sides fanfiction

Wordcount: 1833

Ship: prinxiety

TW: ammm... cursing and reference to past trauma? And complaining. Nothing else, I think XD Though, let me know if I’m wrong!

Summary of the whole story:  They say, the one that wears the crown rules all - the living, the dead, the walking, the crawling, the rooted, the sane and the mad. They say, once you own the crown, you become the  most powerful being on Earth and beyond. Roman’s stolen bigger things - a measly little crown won’t present a problem, even if he has to steel it straight off of the devils head!

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Chapter nine - All the forms that evil takes

“…Roman?” Virgil’s nerves twitched. this wasn’t good. This really, really wasn’t good.

The thief sat, terrified on the throne barely breathing. The Devil was a spider! He was a- “You-you’re a spider!!” he blurted out.

Virgil rubbed his neck embarrassed. “Yeah…” He wanted to step closer, but he wasn’t sure whether he’d scare Roman more. He didn’t want to scare them…

So instead, he sat down cross-legged in front of them. Which eerily reminded him of when he was a child. Virgil visibly shuttered at the memory.

Roman watched this, eyes still wide, but much less terrified. He knew the Devil wouldn’t hurt him. It all just… took him by surprise, that’s all.

He looked so demon-like in that form - all menacing and fierce. Devil-like. (Which made a lot of sense considering that’s exactly who he was.)

But now, sitting on the ground, fidgeting with the hem of his thorn shirt, unable to look Roman in the eye… he looked timid and harmless. Like a helpless child…

Even though he was a measly Human being, the thief felt like the king of all, having even the Devil at his feet. He was the powerful one. The fierce one. And it was up to him to decide whether this demon deserved mercy or punishment.

So Roman made that decision.

He climbed of the high throne and sat down on the floor opposite the king.

“You have holes in your shirt.” he pointed out the obvious, because what else was he supposed to say? He couldn’t think of a better way to start the conversation, okay?

Virgil blinked, lifting his eyes of the ground. What? “Thanks, captain obvious, I noticed.”

Ro snickered. Yeah… he deserved that. “So, you’re a spider.”

“Yeah…”

“Well, that’s surprising.”

Virgil razed a skeptical eyebrow. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I sort of thought you’re like…a Human, I don’t know. Since you walk around looking like… well… me. You know?” the thief ranted trying to understand the situation.

Virgil’s head cocked to the side, small smile in place as he watched them stumble over their words. “It’s the most convenient skin. But it’s not Human.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… I’m a shape shifter so I can shift to a few things, but none of them are Human.”

“What? Really?!” Roman gasped, leaning forward unintentionally.

“Yeah. Every demon has their own power. Remington, for example-“

“That annoying one with the coffee and ‘babe’?” Roman mimicked Remi’s voice almost perfectly.

Virgil laughed. “Yes, him. He’s a mind reader.”

“He can read minds and he’s still like that?”

“I know right? And he’s been here for millennia, complaining about that damned coffee of his.” Virgil rolled his eyes.

And then he laughed. Roman’s heart flattered. It was such a beautiful sound to hear. He didn’t want it to stop. “How many things can you turn into? Or is it like, you can turn into anything you want?

“No, no. I have three forms. I was born a spider-demon, but honestly, those legs are really inconvenient. Good for transportation and scaring creatures to do your bidding, yes, but they are always in the way. You literally can’t sit down comfortably, not to mention the amount of thorn shirts I now own!”

Roman snickered at that. “Oh no, you poor Devil.”

“I don’t need your pity, liveling. I’m your captor remember?”

Oh yeah… Roman completely forgot he was a prisoner. “Speaking of, are you ever planning to let me go?”

The demon went quiet… It would be fair… But he couldn’t let him go just yet. The demons were already talking. If he showed that much mercy, he’d for sure be overthrown and end up like his father… “I can’t do that just yet…”

“Thought so…” the thief sighed heavily, but shook it of right after. He missed his momma, but he knew she was in good hands now.  And staying here with the cute Devil guy didn’t sound so bad… “What else can you turn into?”

Virgil felt his lips tug into a crooked smile. This Human - he couldn’t believe them. “I can shift into the simplest concept of a demon - horns, tails and I can grow wings if I want to-“

“Feathery angel wings?”

“No. More like badass dragon wings.”

“Oh my! Now you have to show me!”

“I would, but my shirt-“

“Is already thorn, so. Go on. Show me your wings, Devil!”

Virgil couldn’t believe this. A Human ordering him around like he was just another liveling. And yet he found himself laughing at his stupidity as he straightened his back and let his wings sprout out.

Got how log has it’s been?

He stretched them out, bones cracking from not being used for over two decades.

Flapping them once and twice he then let them hang out for the Human to examine.

“Wouwww…. you weren’t kidding. They are badass dragon wings.” Romans eyes went wide. And then they turned pleading as he looked up at V. “Can I touch them?”

The demon smiled to himself. Roman really was something, wasn’t he?

He reached a wing over to them and the thief carefully lifted a hand to the thin skin. Their eyes kept on switching from V to the wing over and over until they finally decided it was alright and focused on their hand. And then they touched it.

Roman couldn’t believe this. Not only was he hanging out with the king of Hell - who he was apparently bodies with now - but his hand was touching a giant dragon wing.

It was weirdly scaley. There were no visible scales, but you could feel them. Just like you could see every purple blood vessel in the almost see-through wings. It was such a fascinating thing… “My brother used to tell me stories about this dragon witch he befriended in the forest way back. He used to say she had wings like a dragon, claws like it two. Teeth that could bite through wood and iron. And spells that could kill you on impact. But I’m pretty sure he was just making that stuff up. If he’d know where I am now, though!”

“Dragon witch? You mean Matilde? She used to hang around Hell while we were growing up.”

“Wait.” Roman stood shell-shocked, hand in mid-air. “You mean to tell me she’s real?!”

“Yes, why wouldn’t she be?”

“Oh, Zeus! Rem wasn’t lying?!“

Virgil chuckled lowly, pulling back his wings. “Apparently not.”

“Oh my… shit, dude! I need a moment… I can’t believe this! She’s actually a living breathing creature! And my brothers been friends with her since, what, our fifth birthday?”

Why was this so funny to Virgil? The face Roman was making - it was priceless. As if reevaluating every single life-decision he has ever made and rethinking the whole meaning of life. Which he kind of was doing.

“Waw… Aaanyways.” the thief shook his head, focusing back on the Devil. “I’m guessing this is your third form.”

“Yes.”

“But it looks so Human!”

“Well, mostly. The parts that don’t are easily covered though.” V pointed at the hair covering his eye.

Roman cocked his head to the side, a soft but extremely curious look on his face. “Why do you cover it? You’re a demon, it’s not like it’d bother anyone.”

“Hm. Good question. I guess, I don’t really like it.”

“Why? Is it like a deformity or something?”

“You could call it that.”

Romans brows furrowed. He never in his life imagined the Devil to be self-conscious. But then again, he never imagined being held captive by him, anyways. “What would the Devil have to be self-conscious about?”

“Actually, a lot of things.” V snickered. “But that doesn’t really matter. It’s just a thing I’d rather stay hidden.”

Yeah, Virgil would rather not remind himself of that day every time he looked into a reflective surface, thank you. It was enough to live it once.

He shuddered at the memory.

With a deep sigh he forced a pleasant smile at the thief and stood up. “I’m beat. I’m gonna go lay down.”

Roman nodded, chewing on his bottom lip subconsciously. “Yeah, okay…” And then it suddenly hit him. “Wait! What am I supposed to do while you sleep?”

Virgil shrugged. “You can do whatever you want. Hell is yours.”

The human beamed at the demon with big eyes. “Really?”

The devil blew out another nose laugh and turned to where the guard was standing. “Hey, Cidecus! They’re in charge. I’m going to rest.”

The mentioned popped his head in the hall and pointed at Roman. “It?” the guard razed a baffled eyebrow (well, the skin above his eyes) at the same time as Roman’s high-pitched “Me?” rang out.

The mirrored expressions of complete astonishment made Virgil almost burst out. But he had the decency not to. (Though, it was just barely held back, and frankly, very visible.) He instead just snorted, and covered his smirk with a hand. “Yes, them.”

“Him…” Ro peeped up quietly, watching the guard. He wasn’t sure what their next move would be… What if he was against it like that healer demon - what was his name… Parcel? What a stupid name.

The Devil glanced back at Ro and nodded, understanding. “Him. Keep an eye on the-him. I don’t want the other demons tearing him to parts.”

Cidecus just couldn’t believe this. Their king has for sure lost his mind, protecting a Human. Even letting it rule! What was next? Was Virgil going to let him wear the crow?!

Virgil snapped his fingers in front of the unresponsive guard’s face. “Helooouuu, anybody there? Did you hear me?”

Cid shook his head quickly and nodded fast. “Yes, sir. I apologize.”

“No need.” Virgil waved it of and turned to leave. “Just look out for him. Otherwise, he’s free to do whatever he wants.”

He was almost out the hall when he called over his shoulder. “Just not leave.” And he was off.

Roman kind of suspected that. He looked at Cid and gave a small awkward smile. “I’m Ro-“

“Don’t care. Try not to die.”

A metal dagger fell to the ground and the guard turned and left. Roman blinked. “Well, thanks.” he mumbled displeased.

He sat there, cross-legged for another minute, letting the current situation sink in. It didn’t seem like he’s a prisoner anymore, did it?

He sat on a throne, was personally protected by his supposed captor and now apparently in charge of Hell.

This was an interesting day… Or was it night already? This place was confusing…

He started hummed a made-up toon, drumming his fingers against his knees. It was so quiet. Eyes moved all around the place. He huffed. This was boring.

Roman had to come up with something! He couldn’t just sit around and do nothing! There had to be something -

His eyes zeroed in on the shiny metal dagger still laying on the floor.

“Guess I’m going for a walk then.”

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And while this is happening Remi’s out there arguing with a poor medieval waitress to get him his double chocolate, cinnamon caramel frap with two shots of caffeine and extra non-sweetened whipped cream XD

I’m sorry, I don’t know how fraps work XD

I hope you liked the part, though :3

Tag list:

@romano-hottopic

@vpow

@a-formless-entity

 @lovelivingmydreams

@alice-only-me

[thefanficmonster]

For Better And Through Worse

Rodney Skinner (The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen) x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Romance

Summary: Y/N is a simple girl with big dreams. She works hard towards her goal of travelling the world, seeing all it has to offer. She’s also a devoted student, one with the hopes of one day fulfilling yet another dream of becoming a fashion designer and leaving the town her and her sister have been stuck working in. Her stars align and fate smiles down upon her one day when a rather mysterious man makes his way in the café she works at.

Requested by Anon. Hello there! I’m so terribly sorry to be posting your request so late, dear. I hope the fic makes the wait worth it. This is the first time I’ve been introduced to this character and this movie in its entirety and I absolutely loved it! Thank you so much for the request and for your patience. Please enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

“Close that book, Y/N! Your shift’s starting!“ My manager scares me half to death when his voice suddenly booms throughout the empty diner. 

It’s close to one in the morning and I’m stuck with the shitty overnight shift tonight because my older sister wasn’t feeling well. I arrived early while my friend still hadn’t finished his shift and decided to kill time productively by studying behind the cash register. Even though my shift has started, there is no real reason for me to abandon my book considering how dead the place is. Dead, eerie and unsettling. It’s 24/7 diner in the middle of seemingly nowhere. Well, our town in general is a big ‘nowhere’. If you came here on vacation - no you didn’t. You probably got lost along the way to a different destination. If you live here - good luck, hope you get out soon.

A young, 5′2 girl with only a can of pepper spray to defend herself with left in a café working the shift from one to eight AM. That’s simply ludicrous! I can hardly believe my manager has the audacity to leave like this. Not even a ‘call if you need anything’ out of politeness. Nothing! He doesn’t like any of the workers here so I don’t take it personal but he’s EXTRA mean to me because my sister turned his offer of a date down. It’s a surprise he hasn’t fired the both of us yet. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know if he’d be doing damage or doing us a favor by firing us.

I wait for the jerk to leave before reopening my book and proceeding with my reading. I can’t contain the smile that automatically appears on my face whenever my mind wanders into the contents of the pages. Seeing the pictures of the fashion creations gives me hope that one day I’ll be standing in front of a mannequin that will be displaying a piece I’ve designed. A piece won’t be enough though. I want an entire clothing line. Several even! The fiery passion in me won’t be easily satisfied - I have a vivid goal in mind and I won’t rest until I have it in my hands, until I’m looking at my clothes in the windows of shops and in magazines.

I unintentionally stop reading let myself daydream - well, it’s more like dreaming with open eyes considering it’s one AM. My imagination is sometimes so real it scares me. It all feels like I can reach out and grab it, hold it close, live it for a little while. However, that ideal life is soon ended by the sound of the bell that hangs above the door of the café ringing. I come flying down from my daydreaming cloud with a startled jump. My heart is beating quickly for no real reason other than the fact that there’s a person here at this hour. Knowing the type of town this one is, they are either one of the local drunks or not local at all. An outsider. The ones that everyone assumes are criminals on the run.

I couldn’t blame them if they said that about this guy. Mysterious, shady, suspicious - all adjectives that describe him perfectly. His sudden presence makes me uneasy. Many outsiders who choose to stick around for a bit frequent this bar, therefore I know some of them. This one I have never seen before. He almost looks unreal - a walking doll. He’s got an abnormally pale, sheet white complexion, a top hat and sunglasses. Sunglasses?! At the dead of an already pitch black night. I’m surprised he hasn’t stumbled into something yet. Maybe he has, what do I know.

“Good evening. One beer please.“ He says, hopping onto a bar stool and resting his elbows on the counter top of the bar that some ways down from the cash register - the two counters are connected.

“Coming right up.“ That’s the usual response I give to customers but I’ve never said it so hesitantly. He’s not being creepy or anything, he’s not even doing the staring most customers do which while uncomfortable, I still have to tolerate. The only truly off-putting thing about him is his appearance and the fact that he’s here at this hour. Drinking beer.

I keep my gaze on him out of the corner of my eye as I go fetch a cold beer bottle from the fridge behind the bar. I typically do waitressing, but I know my way around the bar as well. I see him reach for yesterday’s paper one of the previous customers has left there. He’s still distracted by it when I approach him and put a coaster down in front of him as well as the beer bottle, mumbling a quick: “Here you go.”

He lifts his head only enough to give me a nod with a small smile. From that proximity, the color of his skin looks more like paint, which is even more unsettling. He has also taken off his sunglasses, his eyes now free to make direct contact with mine which makes me pause for a second before asking the second routine question, “Anything else?”

“Uh, yes....“ His eyes go down to my nametag, “Y/N, could you tell me where this address is?“ He slides a piece of paper over closer to me. 

I reluctantly nod and look at the note he’s handed me. The letters are written in poor handwriting but I can still decipher the majority of what’s written. “This address is from the next town over, sir.” I inform him with a tightlipped smile that’s my way of sort of apologizing for the inconvenience.

He nods slowly, “Well, how far is this town exactly?” He furrows his brows at me and takes out a pen, taking the note back so he could write something at the back of it. 

“It’s a city compared to this one. It’s a two hour drive from here.“ I tilt my head to the side, discreetly looking at what he’s writing down.

“Thank you.“ He puts the note and pen away, “By the way, don’t take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here?“ He gives me puzzled look.

I scoff and shrug my shoulders, “Working, as you can see. I’m covering this shift for someone else, I don’t usually work it.” I respond nonchalantly. 

“No, I mean what are you doing working here at all?“ He points at me, “That dress, it’s self-made, right?“ 

Ok that’s off-putting. Either he is clairvoyant or it’s so obvious that an amateur has made it that he couldn’t help but notice and point it out. All I can give as an answer is a slight nod, a baffled expression on my face.

“That’s what I thought. It’s incredible.“ He probably realizes that he has caught me off-guard and has confused me, so he shakes his head with a small chuckle and a wave of his glove covered hand. “I saw the book you were reading on my way in. Fashion and design. So you’re an aspiring clothing designer?“ 

I feel relief wash over me as the confused furrow and pursed lips are replaced by a relaxed smile. I take the few steps back to where I was previously sitting and where I’ve left the book. I hand it to him once I return for him to see. “Yes, but the course here is expensive and I can’t afford it without this job.”

He nods slowly as his eyes carefully scans the pages he turns. “Impressive, so a goal-getter as well.”

I can’t help but giggle, “And a traveler at heart. I also need the money for that...” I open the book to it’s last page and show him the list I have written of places I’d like to visit. 

His eyes widen a bit in amazement as they go down the neatly written list. “You know, I’ve visited some of these places. I plan on visiting the rest as well. I could use a partner.” He winks at me playfully.

I roll my eyes, “As I said, I can’t afford it. You think I’d still be in this town if I could?” I say rather bitterly. Feels like the subject is an open wound and talking about it is the same as pouring salt on it.

“Who says you’ll have to pay a penny. I said I’d like some company, you’ll be paying me with your presence.“ His gaze is firm on mine, his tone suggesting he isn’t kidding around. I unintentionally let my disbelief morph into a ‘bullshit’ expression of distrust that causes him to raise his hands up as if surrendering, “No funny business, though I know what this looks like to you. Trust me, I wouldn’t offer that to just anybody. I sense how strongly you wish to fulfill your dreams. I see it all in your eyes, there’s a flame behind them. And...I’m gonna be honest, I’ve done many less than honorable things in my life. But when I see a chance to do good, I want to take it. Now it’s on you, take it or leave it.“

I’m stunned and frozen. I can’t even answer him. I’m just standing here with my mouth hanging open and eyes wide, staring at him awaiting for him to burst out laughing at any moment like ‘Did you really believe that?!’  But he doesn’t. He remains serious and after what feels like forever smirks, putting a hundred bucks next to the untouched beer bottle. 

“If you change your mind...I swing back the same time tomorrow.“

Before I can even shake free from my shock he has already left. I didn’t even get the chance to tell him I won’t be here the same time tomorrow. I feel my heart sink as my mind races, two sides of me battling - one that wants to take the chance that’s being offered to me and the other scolding me for even considering it.

Dumb or not I’m rooting for the first side. 

Eyes don’t lie. Just like he read me so well just by looking at mine, I read him by looking at his. All he said was true, not a doubt in my mind about it. He meant all he said and for some odd reason I believe him despite him being a complete stranger. I don’t even know his name, for goodness’ sake! But I want to go with him. The hard part for me would be leaving my family behind though.

Well, I have a little less than twenty four hours and a seemingly never-ending uneventful shift ahead of me to ponder it.

                                                              *  *  *

I can’t believe any of this - not what I’ve done, not what I’m doing and most definitely not what I’m about to do.

I have packed my bags and snuck out of the house, running at full speed to the café. When I arrived I was breathless, with a heart beating faster than a galloping horse.

I’m now waiting for the man. The stranger. The person who could be anyone or anything - including dangerous - but right now all he is to me is my path to success, the person who’ll guide me to achieving my goals.

I’m about to go running away with this man, off to God knows where. No one guarantees he won’t do harm to me. I can’t be 100% certain this won’t end badly for me. All I can do is take this chance if I want to. And I really REALLY want to. 

Just as the clock strikes 1:25 AM, an old car pulls up at the curb in front of the café. I’m standing in the shadows, away from any windows to avoid being spotted by the worker who’s on the dead shift as I call it. The way the car has parked it’s positioned directly underneath a street lamp, almost like it’s under a spotlight. The door to the drivers side opens to reveal the same man from last night. When he steps out in the lamp’s light he looks to be glowing, his unusually pale complexion shinning in the light. 

“Y/N!“ I call out to him, startling him for once instead of the other way around.

He stops and looks around, taking the sunglasses off and narrowing his eyes at his surroundings. I chuckle to myself and step within the line of light, “My name’s Y/N. You already know that.” His eyes land on me and a smile spreads across his face as well as mine. “I don’t know yours though.”

He takes a step towards me, “Rodney. Rodney Skinner. Though, please don’t let that name throw you off. It was given to me for far less sadistic reasons than you may be imagining right now.”

I can’t help but laugh, “All I ask is for you to not skin me alive.”

He gives me a small bow, “I shall respect your request. Now...“ he straightens his posture and turns to motion to his car, “To freedom and adventure?”

I don’t know what takes over me and drives me to close the space between us, but it is also to blame for the fact that I pressed my lips against him. Even after realizing what I have done, I don’t pull away. I don’t see my doing as wrong - in fact, I feel like I’m doing all the right things for myself tonight. He responds to the kiss after a second or two of stunned hesitation.

The little kid in me can’t wait for this journey to commence anymore so I pull away abruptly, giving him a bright, wide smile and my eyes bright. I watch as he comes back to the present moment and nods, mumbling as if to himself a quick, “Right...” before circling around the car and opening the passenger side door. 

I gladly take a seat and fasten the seatbelt while Rodney takes my suitcase and backpack and puts them in the trunk of the car. Here it is, I’m seconds away from the biggest step in my life so far. A dangerous and risky step for sure, but the sense of freedom I feel is worth it all. The joy and excitement I feel as the car starts moving is all I need to keep looking forward and keep my mind off my family’s reaction when they find my goodbye note.

“By the way, what’s at that address you showed me yesterday?“ I ask to keep myself distracted from the aforementioned thought which is stronger than I thought it would be.

“Ah, a friend of mine, Nemo. He holds the vehicle of our travels. Tell me...“ his hand nonchalantly rests on top of mine between the seats causing me to blush, “have you ever traveled by a submarine?“

I physically jolt at the absurdness of the question, “You’re not serious!” I turn to look at him, my free hand covering my mouth which is hung open in disbelief.

He laughs, taking the hand he’s holding and bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to my knuckles which relaxes me. “I’m deadly serious, Y/N. Speaking of Nemo though, do you know of any good barbecue places in that town? He loves a good barbecue.”

I grimace, “No and I’d much rather never know or enter one.” He gives me a quick puzzled glance, careful not to take his eyes off the road for too long, “I’m a vegetarian.” I clarify with a snicker.

I see the realization be processed and show on his face, followed by a laugh when he says, “Oh Nemo’s gonna love ya.”

I don’t know if that was sarcasm or ironic. I just know one thing - I have so much ahead of me at the moment. Travelling, studying, meeting new people, seeing a submarine, for the love of God! And even a potential romantic relationship. The future has never looked so bright for me, and this is all thanks to this abnormal yet hypnotic man next to me.

Freedom and adventure, here we come!