#yeah girl I get it. bonding with inanimate objects can be like this

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Man’s Best Friend.”

Try not to bee too mad at me guys :) Sorry about the angst. 

It is a more than well known anomaly that humans will social bond with any species. This is not barring their danger levels, or factors of perceived cuteness; no matter the cost, humans will pack bond with any animal. They have even been known to bond with inanimate objects and houseplants. However, one of the greatest bonds man has ever created, is their bond with dogs. Thousands of years ago a man shared his food and his fire with a wolf: another social pack species. After years and years of careful breeding selection manipulated by humans, they ‘created’ an animal that protects loyally, forgives quickly, and loves unconditionally.

In my study of humans, I have found that the emotional bond with a dog can run deeper than an emotional bond with humans.  I am not entirely sure why a human would find it more displeasing to watch a movie where a dog dies than to watch a movie where a human dies, but I have some suspicion that it has to do with the innocence and unconditional friendship that dog has given man, a quality that man has never given himself.

***

Waffles: a 75lb 34kilo german shepherd shoved her head into an alien bush nose working furiously as she pawed through the strange purple plant. She came back up a moment later and sneezed violently sending up a cloud of delicate yellow polin.

Admiral Vir laughed and whistled, and turning on her heel she bounded back to him over open ground her ears straight up, her tail wagging furiously. She ran up to him and touched her nose to his hand as if tagging base before bounding off again to sniff the path before them.

Krill and Sunny walked with him, Krill staring at the brightly colored alien landscape with buzzing antenna.

Waffles leaped through another patch of wild blue grass sending up more white spores into the air, stopping only to sneeze again before continuing.

Sunny went up to walk beside the Admiral, “She looks happy.”

Adam nodded, “Yeah, I like bringing her down on occasion to get some fresh air. I know she does pretty well on the ship, but I feel bad keeping her cooped up so much.”

With another bound Waffles plowed through a shallow stream sending up droplets of water.

This planet was one the GA had been studying for some time, and, as it seemed, it was a relatively nice, habitable planet that they were readying for colonization for the Finnari, or perhaps, humans, or even both permitting everything went well.

Krill watched the dog as she plowed through the grass, rolling in the  weeds like she was having the time of her life.

Predators used to scare him, but the dog had proven herself to be docile at the Admiral’s command, and he could at least tolerate her if not like her…. Just a little.

Adam Grinned at his dog’s antics and charged into the grass after her.

The dog dropped her front paws, but and tail sticking up in the air, a nonverbal invitation for her master to play with her. He didn’t reject her offer and raced forward to play chasing her around the field, their legs swishing over the grass. She barked happily as they did.

Adam had now ran far ahead of the others towards another nearby forest path. Waffles was behind him just a little ways as he pulled to a halt panting.

It was then that he heard it, a sudden rustling of foliage turning into a swirling thunder of air.

He turned on the spot eyes wide in shock and surprise.

Surprise at the ravening beast charging directly towards him, its purple fur and white tusks glittering in the sun. he leapt out of the way, but the beast was quick, about waist height and angry. He was so startled he couldn't even scream his only reaction to try to kick at the creature and keep it back.

It squared off against him, and he tried backing away, but it charged again.

There was a sudden snarling noise, and waffles charged into the fight snarling and snapping.

She bit the creature hard on it’s back leg.

“WAFFLES!” Adam shouted 

The creature turned violently and whipped it’s tusks at waffles, who didn’t heed them as she charged in again, snapping at its face and throat forcing herself between Adam and his attacker.

It thrashed and she yelped in pain, but charged forward again, grabbing it by the leg and holding on for dear life as  it trampled into the bush dragging her along with it.

Another yelp came from the forest, high pitched and painful.

“WAFFLES!” It didn’t take a moment before Adam was chagrin into the bush after them pulling his sidearm as he did. He followed the sound just in time to see the creature whip it’s head around and catch waffles hard in the side picking her up and tossing her to the ground. Blood drenched her fur, while green icor drenched her muzzle.

He screamed in anger instead of fear this time as he leveled his sidearm and emptied his magazine at the creature. He wasn’t sure how many hit, but the creature was tough enough that it staggered off itne bush yowling. He ignored it for the time and ran, throwing himself to his knees at the side of waffles, who was lying on the ground breathing shallowly.

Sunny roared into the clearing just behind them, her spear raised, but the creature was already gone.

Adam reached out his hands which were trembling so badly he could barely function, “Waffles, waffles no no no no.”

He rested a hand on her side and she whimpered in pain, her muzzle resting on the ground her eyes half hooded.

A choked sob broke from his throat, “No. no…. You’re g-gonna be o-ok.” 

His hands fluttered uselessly over her body, covered in blood.

“KRILL! PLEASE Someone… h-help.”

Sunny stood back in shock and fear as Adam clawed at his hair, tears rolling down his face in uncontrolled streams.

Krill scuttled in not far after.

Adam turned to look at him his face twisted into a snarl, “Help her!” His voice cracked on demand and he turned back hands still shaking not knowing what to do. Being a doctor krill was well aware that the human’s anger was displaced and did not take it personally as he moved forward and took a look at the injured animal.

He lifted her front paw, and she whimpered piteously.

Off to the side Adam was still inconsolable, his hands in his hair threatening to rip out fistfulls with his clutching fingers. His agitations was actually getting in the way of Krill working.

“Adam, Adam just hold her head ok, help her stay calm.”

He nodded following orders stiffly, crawling over the ground to sit her head in his lap and tell her she was such a good girl and that she was going to be ok. Streams of continual tears rolled down his cheeks and onto her fur. Waffles licked his hand lethargically.

Sunny knelt next to him, hand on his shaking shoulder powerless as for what to do.

She had never seen him like this, ever.

Not that Adam was one to conceal his emotions completely, but he generally subscribed to silent tears if there were any at all. This, this was different, no holds barred uncontrollably sobbing, the kind where the human loses all functioning, eyes, nose, mouth and racking sobs that shook the body in aggressive, violent spasms.

Krill rolled waffles a little further onto her side spotting a deep gash from her chest and abdomen. He couldn't tell how deep it was, and didn’t want to look in this sort of environment.

“Sunny, call the shuttle!”

The urgency in his voice only served to secure Adam’s worst fears, “No… no, ou’re going to be o.”

“Adam, give me your jacket.”

He did without hesitation, ripping it off his body and offering it to krill as if it was the thing that was going to save her life.

Krill got Adam to help lift her onto the jacket and wrap her up, while he used some thing from his medical kit to staunch the bleeding. Waffles was still conscious, through her eyes were half lidded.

“Please be ok.” Adam begged, and despite all her injuries, her tail thudded against the ground at the sound of his voice and the touch of his hand. This only started his tears flowing even harder.

Overhead the sound of engines whirred, and touched down on the grass not far away.

“Ok, lift her gently.”

He did as ordered hugging her to his chest and practically racing towards the shuttle as it descended.

When the doors opened he practically bowled past the waiting marine who looked on in shock.

He gently lay Waffles on one of the seats all but yellin at one of the marines to make sure she stayed there before racing to the ront of the craft.

“Admiral are you sure…” The copilot began.

“Get out o my fucking way!” he snarled, and the ire in his voice was so that the man quickly leaped from his seat as Adam slid into the pilot’s seat. Krill was worried that the human was going to kill them all trying to pilot in that state, but what he witnessed next was a feat of pure talent and skill as he maneuvered them up through the clouds faster and steadier than krill would have thought possible.

Waffles whimpered softly in the background, held tight in Sunny’s arms now.

Their copilot sent out a medial call as soon as was feasible and very prudent.

By the time they made it inside, a crew was waiting with a stretcher.

Didn’t matter that it was waffles, but they treated her as they might any human with krill tagging long beside.

Adam ran after them until the doors to the med bay shut in his face and he was told to stay outside.

***

Sunny made her way quietly down the hall footsteps no more than a whisper over the metal floor. It was dark on the ship, the lights having been dimmed for the night. Up ahead she could see light filtering out into the hallway, and the rim lighting of a figure sitting in the dark.

She moved forward, and the mass of shadow coalesced from the darkness. Adam sat on the floor, knees pulled to his chest, head in his hands. Three pairs of bright yellow eyes looked up at her from the darkness. And Sunny tilted her head in surprise to see three Finnari curled up around Adam. One leaned against his left side, one leaned against his right side, and one rested against his legs.

The others raised their heads, though Adam remained curled up with his head in his hands.

Sunny nodded to them, “I can take it from here.” She said quietly

The Finnari looked between each other and then waddled to their feet. One of them patted Adam’s hair before joining the group and waddling off down the hall. Sunny knelt and then slowly sat next to Adam resting a hand on his back.They sat in the dark in silence for a long while before he looked up at her.

His cheeks were still wet, and she had no idea how he was still producing any, sure he would have dehydrated hours ago.

In response, she pulled the human closer using all four of her arms until he was curled up against her head resting against her chest.

“I….I can’t l-lose her s-sunny…. I I don’t know what I-I’d do.”

She rubbed his back gently with one of her lower hands, feeling as his body continued to spasm rhythmically with the beat of his grief. He covered his eyes with his right hand turning into her chest as if trying to hide his face. His teeth were gritted against quiet sobs.

But despite his attempts to stay quiet, he couldn’t.

It killed Sunny to watch.

He was completely debilitated. She had seen a human like this maybe once before under different circumstances. Neither war, nor kidnapping, or injury in the time she had known him had ever brought this man to his knees, and if it had it had been silently and alone where he dealt with it himself.

This was different.

He had snapped, broken right in half.

It surprised her almost how fragile humans were, after everything he could have gone through, and after everything he did, this is what hurt him.

His grief came in waves, one moment she thought he had finally calmed down, and then the next moment he was escalating again just as bad as before. It was exhausting to watch, and she had no idea what to do other than keep him company in the dimness of the hallway.

They were there for hours.

And then the door hissed open.

Adam shot to his feet as krill stepped out into the hall.

His hair was disheveled -- even more so than usual-- his face was red and puffy, his eyes were ringed in bright red. The collar of his shirt was damp. 

Sunny rose to her feat as well.

“Is she-” he couldn't finish, choking up again.

“She’s alright, we were just waiting for her to wake up to make sure. But she’s going to be ok.”

This time the sound he made was a sob of relief rather than grief, “Can I see her?”

Krill paused but then nodded, motioning him back. He hurried after into the med bay.

At the end of the room, waffles lay curled up on one of the beds.

She was wrapped in bandages and an IV was held into her right front leg with pink gauze. Someone had managed to fashion a makeshift cone out of plastic shielding.

Adam rushed over.

Waffles blinked slowly at him, too tired to lift her head, but her tail began to whap happily against the covers of the bed. He smiled rubbing his hands through the soft fur of her face and ears, “Good girl…. You’re such a good girl.” tears were leaking down his face again, but he was smiling.

With great effort, waffles lifted her head, licking at his face with her long pink tongue, whipping the tears from his face the only way she knew how.

Krill walked over and paused by them, “She should be up and about by tomorrow, but she definitely needs to rest and recover.”

Adam looked up at Krill, “Can I stay here…. With her?”

Krill looked at him unsure, but the look on the human’s face was one the little alien certainly couldn't say no to , and he sighed, “Alright, you can stay.”

When Sunny left the room Adam was curled up on the bed with the dog resting with her back to his chest, the two of them fast asleep.

Thank the spirits Waffles was ok.

***

Ask a human, the vast majority of them find the sadness of grief or pain of a dog to be more poignant than that of a human -- unless the human is one they know--. This is why movies often employ dogs for emotional factors. Perhaps you cannot get an audience to cry for the pain of a human, but if you get a dog to wait at its owner's owners grave than you can have an entire audience in tears. As I said earlier. It's hard to watch the pain of someone who doesn't deserve that pain and never will.

Dogs are a reflection of the best parts of man 

[spicysoftsweet]

Chapter 12

Masterlist

Kumi stood at the kitchen sink, the sound of the running water over the dishes she was attempting to wash barely registering in her head. It wasn’t that she was thinking about anything else - the activity was mindless for her and her head was nearly blank. She stared outside the closed window above the kitchen sink, her hands still moving deftly as she rinsed plate after plate and set them aside to dry.

Outside was quiet and tonight, the sky was particularly bright and starry, and Kumi decided she liked living here.

The rural town, a drive out from bustling Kyoto, was quite peaceful, and while her and her grandmother lived in a more isolated region with the next house being at least a ten minute walk away, it wasn’t truly the countryside proper. She was thankful for this, once she’d awoken from her depressive episode where she’d lacked the will to even argue when her parents sent her away. The kids at school did look at her a little funny, few of them having seen a hafu before, but there wasn’t much difference from the behavior of the kids in Tokyo after a while.

Kumi also found that her initially stern looking grandmother was possibly the sweetest woman alive, pale as her mother and much smaller in height and frame as her. The old woman was also a very good listener and had been patient enough to hear her out once Kumi finally decided to talk, in sharp contrast with her parents who were now terrified to say anything, especially after her father had only said the wrong things initially.

Things were getting better, in some fashion. Kaksi had stopped calling her weeks ago so the guilt she felt any time she avoided the line was eased. She had almost lost her resolve when even Mitsuya called, but she was determined that the best way to heal would be to avoid anyone from back then. She longed to talk to Kaksi however, and she knew there was no one she’d meet that could replace that bond at her new school.

She was almost finished with her task when she noticed a small cockroach running along the outside of the windowsill, trying to make its way inside, attempting to shield itself from the growing winter cold. She found herself pausing and staring, not in fear but in fascination, until a memory came to mind.

“If you’re gonna ride on my bike, you’ll need to address it properly.” Baji told Kumi, matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest but with a grin on his face.

“This is an inanimate object,” Kumi said, pressing her lips together. All she wanted was a ride home, and she’d already convinced herself that getting on this boy’s bike wouldn’t immediately cause her death but now that he was being silly about it, she was starting to have second thoughts. Maybe walking alone wouldn’t be so bad.

“Yeah, but it also has a name. Goki, like Gokiburi, you know.” He said, hopping over it with one leg, and letting it tilt. “If you’re gonna get on, you have to say ‘ Good evening, Gokiburi-san’ first, and then we can go to your house.”

Kumi readjusted her bookbag, looking at the space behind him on the bike, then at him. She shrugged.

“Go-ki-bu-ri?” she pronounced carefully, looking at him for approval and he nodded. She repeated the words he’d asked her to say with a bow, and Baji stifled a laugh.

She pouted.

“Hey, did you make me say something stupid?”

“No, of course not,” he replied, reaching out a hand behind him to help her up. It was her first time on his bike, and she did find that her heart pounded once she’d settled onto the seat.

“Please go slowly,” she pleaded, and he rolled his eyes.

“Fine.”

Kumi tried to resist the urge to cling to the boy too hard once the engine started, anticipating that he’d speed off to scare her, but instead he was considerate, moving slowly in the direction of her place. Once her heart rate slowed to normal, she felt the need to start a conversation, and she said the name again.

“Go-ki-bu-ri. Gokiburi. Goki… buri.”

“Huh?” Baji asked, eyes still facing the front.

“It sounds cute,” she admitted, with a chuckle.

He laughed.

“Oh really? Now that I think of it, it reminds me of you.”

Baji’s back tensed, perhaps anticipating a slap, but Kumi’s cheeks warmed up instead. She had no idea what a gokiburi was, and Baji only realized once she grew quiet and they’d arrived at her place that she had no understanding of the mean joke he had just made.

His own cheeks reddened, once she thanked him sincerely for the ride, flustered once he realized she’d taken his roast as a compliment. He didn’t have the heart to explain himself now, especially when it occurred to him that she was pretty when she smiled.

“I… uh, no problem!”

It was only the next day when Kaksi said bluntly, “he said you looked like a cockroach,” that he received that slap for real.

Kumi continued to watch the cockroach march along, until it was out of view, unsure whether to smile or cry.

---

As the end of her last year in middle school approached, Kaksi figured that she had no use in making new friends, so she drowned her troubles with studying, doing her best to enter a high school where she would be sure she’ll never see any Toman member again. Unfortunately, that was not what she truly desired.

Kaksi wanted her friends back - she wanted Baji to push her a little too hard when they would fight, she wanted Kumi to give her that annoyed look when she would tease her too much, she wanted to hear Mikey laugh and smile with his eyes and she wanted Kazutora to push her gently when she wanted to play on the swings nearby.

These were the thoughts that plagued her mind each time she would find herself crying by herself. She knew she wouldn’t feel this way forever, however. Nothing lasted, after all. She had learned that fact rather brutally. Yet sometimes it felt like none of her wounds were healing and one of the people she missed the most taunted her.

If there was someone that she had trouble imagining her life without, it would be Kazutora. Having known him since childhood, Kaksi figured he would always be by her side but she had been wrong and while his absence hurt, she had started to get used to it. Her most recent good memories with Kazutora dating back to before Shinichiro’s death, she couldn’t ignore the gap that was separating them anymore.

Kaksi would keep her promise and welcome Kazutora back in ten years, but the one that she wanted to see right now was Mikey. She felt a little guilty at that realization but there was no escaping those emotions anymore. While Kazutora was gone, it was Mikey that would have her on the back of his bike, it was him that would listen to her talk and it was him that made her laugh and while she was sorry that it had appeared to him that he was Kazutora’s placeholder, he was so much more than that.

She wished he knew that, she wished he believed that. Even though she had spent most of her time burying this love, Kaksi could never pretend like Mikey meant nothing to her. Sometimes she wondered what would have happened if she had returned Mikey’s feelings because she did love him so much, she hoped he would come back to her one day.

Unfortunately, she never saw his CB250T in front of her apartment block again or his face. Faster than she had anticipated she had graduated middle school and was getting ready to start a new chapter of her life. She was satisfied with the high school she was able to enter, she couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t see any familiar faces until her first day but she figured that even if she did she could ignore them.

Once she had started school again, she was relieved to not have seen any Toman member she had ever been close to and had decided it was time for her to make new friends. But that turned out to be way harder than anticipated when only one week into the school year, rumors had started to spread about her boyfriend.

The worst thing about what she would hear was that it was too close to the truth for her to even argue. So she kept quiet when girls would mutter about Kazutora’s crimes whenever they saw Kaksi’s face. She did manage to always get paired up with someone when group work was unavoidable but she quickly learned that those who paid attention to her only cared about the grades she could earn them.

It was lonely but not that bad Kaksi convinced herself. By the middle of the school year, no one would look at her in contempt when she would have lunch by herself and that felt good enough. Those she would be nice to also started returning the favour and while she didn’t exactly have any friends, it started to be more bearable. Now she did still wonder about how Kumi, Chifuyu and Mikey were doing but she doubted her memory would ever erase any of the people she had loved and still loved and she was fine with that, most days.

There was one time though that she started sobbing uncontrollably. Frustrated by her homework, Kaksi had hurriedly and violently started to empty her desk’s drawers, looking for an old lesson she swore she had kept somewhere. Instead of what she was looking for, it was old pictures that had slipped from the pages of one of the many unused journals she owned. She had sighed picking them up without initially realizing what they were.

Once her brown eyes had focused on the faces printed on the paper, she wasn’t able to stop her tears. She wanted to smile, those pictures represented happy memories, after all, but she only grew nostalgic looking at Kumi’s cute smile, Mikey’s grimace, Baji’s frown and all the other Toman members she had once called her friends’ faces.

Once she had calmed herself down she had put those pictures away safely, somewhere it wouldn’t be disturbed again. Then she had gotten back to her math problem, tears all dried up. She still missed her friends and she wondered if they did too but maybe she was having a harder time moving on than they were, she wasn’t sure.

Either way, time always proved to be the solution to what she felt and suddenly she had finished her first year of high school. Things were moving by quickly and Kaksi had a pretty clear idea of what she wanted to do. She would be going to college after graduating and studying psychology, hoping she could pursue a career in that field eventually.

Her second year of high school seemed to be more interesting than the first one and she found it funny to discover all those new faces as the first years appeared. She wondered if what was told about her would spread to them too, she was unsure and she didn’t really care, having confirmed to quite a few people that her boyfriend was in fact in jail and they should probably not stay close to her (jokingly, although everyone took her seriously).

One person, however, started having lunch at her table every day. Kaksi assumed she was a first-year, not having seen her face before. She had wide blue eyes and white medium length hair. She was also much shorter than Kaksi and while she looked intimidating, it only made her prettier to Kaksi.

She hadn’t expected the girl to ever talk to her and especially not to say what she did, but Kaksi would learn fast that this new face was full of surprises.

“I love your hairstyle,” she said with a smile, the serious facade she wore seconds ago completely disappearing.

Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly. While they looked nothing alike, the girl had a very similar smile to Mikey’s.

“Thanks.”

“You should bring me with you next time you cut your hair,” she added, cheerfully.

Kaksi chuckled but agreed, having just met Senju Akashi.

---

Senju knew what loneliness felt like, being in the position she was in from such a young age she figured being close to anyone could only bring her trouble. So she spent her time with her brother and older men that shared her objectives. Still, she remained a fifteen year old even though she was on her way to be the leader of a growing gang very soon.

This was why when she noticed Kaksi wandering the hallways by herself and eating alone, her curiosity was picked. Senju didn’t want to ask her if the rumours were true but as they made a habit of sharing lunch together she eventually learned a few things about Kaksi.

From the way she subtly clung to her, Senju could tell she had been longing for someone to talk to and so did Senju. Yet there was a certain distance she wanted to keep with her new friend, not because she didn’t want her to get closer but rather because she didn’t want her to get hurt. It felt strange to Senju how quickly she found herself caring about the brunette.

“I can help you with this if you want,” Kaksi suggested, looking at the biology lesson Senju failed to understand despite reading and rereading.

“You’re a savior! Are you free this afternoon after school?”

Kaksi was about to agree when she remembered she had cram school on Wednesday afternoons. She shook her head.

“But I could pass by your place once I’m done,” she told her.

This wouldn’t do. Senju refused politely, making up a quick excuse but Kaksi pointed out regardless that her test was tomorrow morning and if she wanted help last minute this was her only solution. The brunette wouldn’t have insisted if this was the first time Senju had been reticent about having Kaksi over at her place. She didn’t know anything about the Akashi household after all, but Senju had a strange presence.

She was skilled at getting close to Kaksi just enough for her to not doubt their friendship but she was also distant enough that Kaksi started to wonder if maybe she was misinterpreting something. Despite anticipating that asking Senju to come over to her place instead wouldn’t change anything she asked her regardless but all that she earned was another excuse as well as her friend suddenly remembering she had something urgent to pick up now.

Kaksi sighed, left alone, watching the short girl walk away. Ever since they had met, Senju wouldn’t leave her alone but the minute she would want to see her in other settings than school, her friend would grow distant. Now that she thought about it, Senju never actually went to the hairdresser with Kaksi, she went by herself and had told her she had done it on a whim.

This had bothered Kaksi enough to notice it but she decided to stay quiet. Senju was still the light that had emerged in the darkness that was Kaksi’s loneliness and if she desired to keep her at a distance for a moment then so be it. Besides, this took nothing away from the joys of having someone to count on again.

---

“I figured you were too pretty to be single,” Senju told her, nonchalantly. “But I did not expect any of the things you told me.”

They both laughed, back rested against the wall of one of the high school buildings.

“I guess that was a lot for middle schoolers,” Kaksi said, with a sad smile, the memories of what she had just explained to Senju still haunting her.

Senju’s blue eyes stared at her friend for a moment. She felt bad for what Kaksi had to endure but she felt even worse for hiding what she kept. For someone who had paid the price of knowing people this involved in the sad reality of what it meant to be a delinquent, it felt unfair to Senju to ever think about telling Kaksi the truth about who she was.

She wondered what her friend would think if she was to find out, she would probably be terrified and angry but Senju had no intention of ever leaving Kaksi. She would escape death just to be able to laugh and share snacks with her.

Senju’s hand found Kaksi’s cold one and held it gently before resting her head against her shoulder.  

“I can’t believe you had to deal with all that.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaksi said, with a small smile. “This got depressing really fast.”

She was surprised that talking about the events that had unfolded almost two years ago didn’t make her cry. Back then it felt like overcoming her feelings were impossible but so many things had changed since. Still, Kaksi could never pretend that her scars didn’t hurt anymore but having met Senju she felt like maybe it was time for her to finally move on.

Senju didn’t say anything, getting up instead and extending her arms to help Kaksi stand up too.

“Let’s go get boba after school,” Senju suggested, smiling and holding both of Kaksi’s hands. “My treat after making you sad.”

Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly, this was the first time Senju had proposed meeting outside of school.

“Sure,” she agreed, smiling back and excited to see her after class.

This was something Senju had wanted to avoid, the fear of involving people she cared about with her life as a gang leader and she should have felt bad for putting Kaksi at risk even if it was a little bit but she just wanted a friend so badly. She wanted to go to the movies with Kaksi, go shopping with her, try new restaurants with her and have sleepovers with her. Those were all normal things Senju desired and for the first time, someone could give it to her and not just anyone.

Kaksi could feel her cold hands getting warmer thanks to Senju’s. They parted ways as the bell rang but soon they were reunited again and as they walked down the streets together, Senju found it to be incredibly addictive, maybe as much as Kaksi did too, hand in hers again as if she never left and never would.

---

It was endearing to watch but it remained bittersweet. When Mikey chanced upon the girl he used to love, three years after telling her he didn’t want her in his life anymore, he felt a strange sensation. His heart, which barely ever manifested now, fluttered for the first time in a while, reminding him that despite his feelings fading with time, some things would permanently leave their traces on him.

Kaksi had changed slightly, her hair appeared wavier with new bangs which Mikey thought suited her. She also looked a little more mature and he wondered if she’d grown taller too. He couldn’t be sure as he watched her sitting on the terrace of a coffee shop with an unfamiliar person who he assumed was her friend.

Her smile remained the same as she laughed at what the white haired-girl in front of her said. Mikey knew he should probably not stand there and stare but he couldn’t help it. It had been so long since he had seen her and the memory of her had never disappeared, remaining in the back of his mind.

He wasn’t sure if she had stopped talking to the other Toman members she used to be close with since Mikey would never talk about her but he figured she did. He had stopped seeing her pretty abruptly after all and he wasn’t even sure what her plans would be once she would graduate high school at the end of the school year.

He felt a little jealous about her friend, whoever this girl was she made Kaksi happy, happier than he had ever done. This was what he wished for, for her to move on from the troubles he could only bring to her. So he was relieved that after all, he did manage to keep her safe. Even though it hurt to know he could never be someone important in her life again.

Things had changed for the worst for Mikey but they had changed for the best for Kaksi and while he still missed her terribly he knew things were better this way. Even if Mikey would remain a bystander in her life forever it didn’t matter as long as she was happy and safe. Little did Mikey know though that trouble could never stay too further away from Kaksi.

So it was without knowing who was Kaksi’s innocent friend that Mikey walked away eventually, not sure he would ever see her again but hoping he would not, as staying away from him was more of a blessing than anything else. Then when he was gone it felt like his heart had grown cold once again.

Senju clenched her knuckles, sitting on the couch of the room she used as her office when she needed to talk business with her clients. She had been careless and she wondered what her next move should be. Her brother sat next to her, taking a sip of whiskey from the cold glass in his hands. He didn’t say anything, knowing that pointing out his little sister’s mistakes now would anger her more than anything.

“She’s just my friend,” she said, talking to herself, more than to Takeomi. “She has no business with any of this.”

“But she would have been a good target if you hadn’t anticipated this.”

Senju chuckled but rage overtook her. Whoever they were, this person that thought targeting Kaksi as revenge for whatever dirty business Brahman was involved, they were fucking stupid and would be easy work for Senju. Still, this entire situation was not supposed to happen at all. She knew that trying to rival Toman and having Brahman endorse various crimes would earn her many enemies but still, she had hoped no one would ever think about hurting the one she loved.

She was going to keep Kaksi safe and had already tightened her security but this still didn’t solve her main issue. Senju needed to tell her the truth. She had thought about it for a long time, and as her guilt built up and her fear increased she had found herself going out of her way to protect her, and this was exactly how she had come to learn someone thought of Kaksi as an easy target.

While Senju was confident that this would not happen again, she knew she had been selfish and if she had been any less careful, this could have cost her the life of an innocent person she cared deeply about. It was sickening, to say the least, and she realised it was terribly unfair to Kaksi. Senju was almost sure that once her secret would be unveiled that Kaksi would understandably part ways with her.

Her friend would be starting college soon anyways she thought, maybe this was the right time to tell her. Senju hoped that not seeing Kaksi would make it easier for her to move on once she would decide a relationship wasn’t worth continuing with her. This brought tears to her eyes as she barely slept that night but she couldn’t lie to her best friend forever.

---

“So you lied to me?” Kaksi barked at her.

The truth that Senju had just revealed to her on this Thursday afternoon felt like another knife sinking in her heart. Not only was her friend lying to her ever since they had met but she was also the head of an infamous gang, competing with Toman in the underground world.

“I was just trying to protect you.”

This was another lie. No, Senju had just been selfish and they both knew it.

“You knew how badly I needed to get away from all this,” Kaksi said, her brown eyes filled with tears.

She was right but Senju hadn’t anticipated that she would have grown that attached to this girl she meant to only share lunch with. By the time Kaksi had told her about her painful past they were already too close for Senju to even imagine how she would feel if she was to lose her.

“I’m sorry,” was all Senju could say as she watched her friend cry for the first time. “I fucked up.”

Kaksi stayed quiet for a moment. She couldn’t believe that even after all this time she could never really get rid of the ghosts of her past. No matter who she loved they always somehow found themselves involved in things Kaksi could never control. She didn’t want to try to understand why a person as kind and sweet as Senju would spend her life covered in blood.

There were a hundred peer-reviewed papers on the risks of delinquency she could easily dig up if she wanted to but as she was faced with her best friend’s betrayal she decided that it didn’t matter. Whatever reasons Senju would give her, it would never make up for her broken trust and heart. So, filled with anger and sadness, she asked the girl to never speak to her again.

Senju didn’t even want to argue with her; these were the expected consequences of her mistakes. So she left without a word, closing Kaksi’s door behind her, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. She wished that things were less complicated but as Brahman’s leader, this wasn’t a position she wanted to leave. She had grown up thinking that it was normal to live against the laws. She wished she could blame Takeomi for raising her this way but Senju knew she could only blame herself.

Kaksi and her were far too different after all and she didn’t want her friend to understand her, she didn’t think there was anything to understand. While it hurt to walk away from the only person she could say she trusted entirely with her heart and soul, there wasn’t anything she could do except comply with Kaksi’s wishes and not hold onto the past years spent by her side.

---

As usual, Kaksi found that drowning her troubles with keeping her mind busy worked. Not spending any more time with Senju she used her free time to study harder as the anxiety of graduation approached along with the tiring process she would have to go through to be accepted into one of the universities she wished to enter.

As she went through her notes for the hundredth time she wondered why even Senju would bother with school if she planned on spending her life making money through drugs, assault and prostitution. She doubted she would ever get an answer and she realised it didn’t really matter, she didn’t think she knew or understood Senju that much after all.

She missed her though and she loved her, so much that she wondered how bad morally it would be to make up with her and how dangerous exactly was it to stay in her close circle. This was all irrational thinking, she knew and she would benefit a lot if she used that energy to learn her physics lesson instead but Kaksi was tired of losing people she cared about.

Which was worse? Dying prematurely but surrounded by the people she loved or dying old but lonely? She wanted to believe that it was bad luck that had her meet the wrong people but what if she just could never run away from what she longed to escape? Maybe Kumi had made the right decision leaving Tokyo and maybe she should do the same but leaving was unlike her, wasn’t it?

She knew she was wrong for thinking this way but how would Senju ever move on from all this if no outside forces pulled her out of it? Kaksi was aware that wanting to stay by Senju’s side hoping that she would leave behind the path she had currently chosen was a waste of time but she was an idealist and way more optimistic than she thought she was.

Or maybe loneliness was that scary, she didn’t really know. What she did know though was that Senju wanted her by her side, unlike everyone else she had never wanted to leave her behind. Even if it was selfish in a way, it felt good to know that someone needed Kaksi as much as she needed them. Still hesitant, she gave the situation more thought.

Senju felt like she couldn’t even look at Kaksi when she walked down the hallways and the fact that the girl would pass by as if she had never even known her made it all the more painful. Both of them sat by themselves and ate lunch separately again. They both realized their separation was dreadfully obvious since multiple people would ask them why they weren’t seen together anymore.

Kaksi would tell them this was none of their business while Senju told them to get lost. Soon she started wondering why she even bothered attending high school anymore - she had already chosen the path she would be taking as early as her first year and if Kaksi wasn’t going to help her out with her biology classes then she had no interest in spending any more time around these people.

She wondered if Kaksi would care if she dropped out of high school now but she realised she should not think about her friend at all. Even though it was impossible when she would see her face every day. So she made her decision and stopped attending school. Once Kaksi noticed, she worried about Senju but she figured this was none of her business. Part of her was scared that something bad had happened and she thought about texting her but she figured that if that was the case, she would rather not know.

They both ached from the separation regardless. Senju felt like she was always on edge and all the little things that once brought her joy became boring to her but that might have been because Kaksi made everything better. Senju was shocked by all the pieces of herself that Kaksi had left in her life.

As Senju brushed her hair while getting ready to sleep, she found the cherry-scented lip balm Kaksi wore hidden in the drawer of her vanity. She picked it up and smiled before applying it to her lips, she ran her tongue over them slowly, enjoying the sweet taste. It tasted better on Kaksi’s lips though, she remembered. The memory saddened her and yet she couldn’t help thinking about her first sleepover at Kaksi’s place.

Only the orange light from the lamp on her bedside table was on as they laid next to each other in bed. They had started play-fighting when Kaksi touched Senju’s bare legs with her cold feet but being much stronger than her friend Senju had managed to overpower her and remained on top, hugging her tightly instead.

She remembered they had talked about nothing and everything while she listened to her heartbeat. Back then Kaksi had thought she had never held another girl this close to her, even when she would hug Kumi it felt different but maybe it was because she was a few years older now, she didn’t really know. What she did know was that it was enjoyable.

Eventually, Senju had gotten slightly annoyed when Kaksi mentioned Kazutora again, but she figured it was normal to feel that way about him considering how he had hurt Kaksi and that despite that she had promised to wait for him until his sentence would be over. She didn’t say anything though, instead listening to her friend’s soft voice.

“I guess I’ll just have to wait until Kazutora’s out,” she had said.

Senju had rolled her eyes at that sentence, thankful that Kaksi couldn’t see her expression from the position they were in.

“You’re seriously not going to date or do anything at all with anyone until he’s out?” Senju had asked, hiding her annoyance as best as she could.

“I guess so.”

“You know seven years is a long time and there’s a lot of cute guys out there to make out with.”

Kaksi had chuckled then.

“Kazutora’s cuter,” she had joked.

“As cute as me?” Senju had asked teasingly, looking up at Kaksi this time.

“Okay, maybe not as cute as you but unlike him, you don’t want to kiss me.”

“Who said that?” Senju had replied, thinking she wouldn’t mind if they kissed once or maybe more now than she thought about it again.

It wasn’t visible but that comment had the heat spread over Kaksi’s features and as much as she wanted to ignore it she knew this was not a response she would have towards any of her friends, no this feeling was too familiar. Kaksi hadn’t said anything and Senju thought she should be filling the silence.

“I’ll kiss you if you want,” she told her, smiling.

And so they kissed. It was Senju’s first, slow and soft. Her lips pressed against Kaksi’s shyly and she worried for a second about how she would feel if her friend pulled away but she didn’t. Kaksi’s hand held Senju’s face instead and she kissed her back tenderly, her tongue meeting hers soon. This wasn’t an innocent kiss, both of them knew but never addressed it. They didn’t have to, they were as close as ever and cared about each other.

They hadn’t kissed again after that night though Senju wished they had, she wasn’t sure Kaksi did, however. Despite that moment they had shared, she would still talk about Kazutora and all the plans she had for the two of them. Senju hadn’t expected her to forget Kazutora after one kiss but she wished Kaksi was a little more realistic sometimes.

But it didn’t matter anymore, Kazutora was more likely to kiss Kaksi than Senju would ever again now and that thought sickened her. Senju rolled over under her bedsheets and considered she should get rid of the small things that reminded her of Kaksi. Even though she wasn’t sure this would help in any way.    

---

The spring of the year 2008 marked the beginning of a new chapter in Kaksi’s life. As she woke up by herself in her newly rented apartment, a few minutes from her campus she wondered how Kumi was doing. She had stopped trying to reach her years ago but not thinking about her was almost impossible. She should be a college freshman like her now, probably attending a prestigious university.

For a moment Kaksi wondered if Kumi would ever return to Tokyo and if she had made the right decision not following through with her college applications to other parts of Japan. Despite the fresh smell of change and flowers blooming outside, she couldn’t help feeling like she was heading nowhere.

Kaksi hadn’t talked to Senju in months and she wondered if moving out from her parents' house had been a good idea after all as the weight of loneliness never really disappeared. She quickly got invested in her classes though, finding her field of study very interesting and fulfilling although she did struggle a little bit with adapting to her new lifestyle. She did not make any friends that semester, finding the number of people attending her classes a little too intimidating but maybe she was just too fragile still to try again.

On her way back home one afternoon she had decided to treat herself to coffee and some pastries, heading to the nearest bakery. It was a pet shop however that had caught her attention while she made her way over there. She stared through the glass windows and smiled at the sight of a few puppies, energetically playing with each other.

“An archaeologist?” he asked. “What even is that?”

Kazutora chuckled as a frown appeared on Kaksi’s face.

“Are you serious?” she asked, disappointed by Baji’s answer. “It’s a scientist who studies history by digging up human remains and artefacts.”

“Boring!” he complained, rolling his eyes at her. “Sounds like something you would enjoy.”

Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly before hitting his arm but Baji laughed as a response.

“Well I want to be a pet shop owner!” he said with a wide smile. “Pets love me. What about you, Kazutora?”

Kazutora stayed quiet for a moment, realizing he had never really thought about that question before.

“I don’t know.”

“You should work at my pet shop then!” Baji suggested excitedly as if he had been suddenly struck by the greatest idea.

Kazutora laughed.

“Seems like a good plan.”

Kaksi’s eyes filled with tears as the memory replayed in her mind and she decided it was time for her to move. She barely ate the chocolate muffin she had bought and drank her coffee once it was completely cold once she was home. It had been a long time since she had seen Baji and Kazutora but not long enough for her to contain her feelings it seemed.

She should pay Baji a visit, she decided. She would go tomorrow afternoon with some flowers. The last time she had visited his grave was on his birthday last year but she figured she should tell him that after all, she had decided to not pursue her studies with the goal of becoming an archaeologist. It was a little sad how the three of them would not achieve what they had talked about back when the days were simpler.

---

Kaksi was happy to see Baji’s grave wasn’t without flowers when she arrived. Even though they were dried up now, it seemed like someone had dropped him some not too long ago. She placed the new ones she had just bought over the dead ones and sat in front of his grave, a sad smile on her lips. As she usually did when she visited, Kaksi talked to Baji.

“I started college,” she told him. “I decided I’d study psychology though not anthropology.”

She paused for a moment as if she was waiting for an answer.

“I’m not sure you would find this less boring though,” she joked, smiling.

Kaksi filled the silence with a few more sentences and stopped once tears started rolling down her cheeks. She dried them off quickly before standing up and bidding goodbye to Baji. She really could never seem to stop crying when she would come to visit him. She left with a smile regardless but it faded quickly once her eyes landed on the man heading in her direction only a few meters away.

His green eyes widened at the sight of Kaksi and he stopped in his tracks. He didn’t think he would see her here or at all. Both of them stared at each other for a moment before breaking eye contact and starting to walk again in the direction they were headed. Chifuyu wondered if he should stop and talk to her as he approached and the same question clouded her mind.

They had both subconsciously agreed to stop midway between Baji’s grave and the exit of the cemetery. Chifuyu was hesitant to speak but he gave her a small smile. She had changed, he had noticed. She looked healthy but he couldn’t tell if she was happy or not, her brown eyes unreadable to him. Kaksi wanted to compliment his own hairstyle change but she didn’t say anything except for a polite greeting.

“It’s been a while,” Kaksi added, hesitant.

“Yeah.”

Chifuyu rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He hoped she was doing good but he didn’t think it would be wise to catch up with Kaksi.

“I hope you’re doing well, Chifuyu,” she said with a little smile, not waiting for his answer before walking away.

He murmured a little thanks and you too and even though he wanted to talk to her, Chifuyu walked towards Baji’s grave instead. Kaksi could feel a new wave of tears washing over her and she decided to sit on an empty bench she had spotted on her way home. She missed all of them so much still and the fear of never getting over these feelings took over her once again.

At that moment she knew what she had to do. She needed to see her again, she didn’t think she could stand eating by herself again tonight. Kaksi took out her phone and dialled Senju’s number. When Kaksi’s named appeared on her screen, Senju almost dropped her phone. She picked up as quickly as she could and wondered if she was dreaming for a moment. She didn’t excuse herself as she ran out of her office, leaving her brother behind.

“Kaksi?” she said, in a small voice.

She could hear the girl sniffle at the other end of the line and Senju worried for a moment.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kaksi replied, her voice trembling. “I just miss you.”

Senju’s blue eyes automatically filled with tears at those words.  

“I miss you too.”

Kaksi smiled.

“Do you think we could meet soon?”

“We can meet now,” Senju replied. “Where are you?”

The brunette chuckled before sharing her location with her friend. Senju didn’t think twice before heading out to meet Kaksi. So she did miss Senju as much as she missed her but was that really enough for her to be forgiven? Senju was scared that her friend had only called her in a moment of weakness and she would lose her again somehow but as she appeared at the crossroads where Kaksi stood she figured it didn’t matter if she could be reunited with her even for a short moment.

Her friend smiled at her, her nose and eyes still red from crying. Senju walked over to her as quickly as she could and it was arms wide open that she welcomed her, embracing her tightly. Senju held her just as tightly, her face resting against her chest. They stood on the sidewalk like this for a moment. Then as Kaksi was reminded of how comforting Senju’s warmth felt, she decided she couldn’t afford to lose her again.

[estercity]

i always wanted to try my lovely daughter! can i ask what u liked about the game, and how long it is?

yeah sure! ill put it under a readmore because long text + tw child death

i really love the aesthetic, that's what drew me to the game in the first place. it's not the most polished and the minimal features and jagged line work really add to the expressions in cutscenes and talk sprites. i love the sepia tones contrasted with the bright red blood. i also just noticed whilst all the human characters are warm brown tones the homunculi and inanimate objects are duller, yellow tones. i like that detail a lot

i enjoy the dark themes because to me they never felt too oppressive but were still very thought provoking. especially when it comes to some of the endings, the themes of grief and childhood trauma hit pretty hard. it's definatelly not for everyone considering the main point of the game is creating these surrogate children and then killing them. it never felt excessive to me tho or like it was for shock value

i loved collecting all the diary entires for each type of homunculi and developing bonds with specific daughters because of that, the fact you need to create multiple types of the same girl to get ALL the entires is really good. it can get tedious when you only have one left to get since its random though. my favourites were the rodent and titanium

all the npcs were very interesting. i love how they're all cool with the main character committing these atrosities, showing they're all just as fucked up as him. it's even better because faust refuses to accept responsibility that he's a horrible person and puts himself above them morally. the humor was unexpected, for example one of the job offerings for the sad daughters is 'professional mourner' because no one liked the guy who died in life.

i have 8 hours in it right now and 45/50 achievements, the game has multiple endings so there's a lot of replayability but when it comes down to getting the grindy ones like 'make 25,000 gold' it becomes a bit of a chore (im not a compleitionist type tho so). i'd reccomend using a guide because some of the endings wipe ur save and others don't. i'd say it's around 6 hours if ur not gonna grind?

overall i do reccomend this game, i love it a lot, it's not for everyone

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Beauty Within the Fallen ch.III

Summary: Two misfit twins come across an enchanted castle, home of a mysterious beast, and slowly begin to form a strong bond that just might survive through anything. Even evil demons.

AU and artwork belong to the beautiful and very talented @artsycrapfromsai​. Go give her some love, guys!!!

ch.II - ch.IV

~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello? Monsieur Soos? Monsieur Stan told us to find you.” Mabel called out nicely on the stairs. Dipper watched as his sister optimistically roamed the stairs for the keeper of the key and grounds of the castle. There were so many times he wished he was more like her. Mabel was super strong and kind and just outright amazing; no matter what the world threw at her, she was happy and cheerful. Through losing their parents and then their Grandpa Shermie, through being lost in the woods and nearly eaten, through meeting a beast, Mabel was still joyful and out-going. Dipper wished he could be more like that, but sometimes it felt like a dark cloud forever hung over his head; he was the realistic twin, the Debby-downer of the two; someone had to be, and he never wanted it to be Mabel. “Maybe we misheard him.” Mabel pondered when no one was responding to her calls. “Did Monsieur Stan say Soos or Zeus?”

Dipper shrugged. “Or maybe we were sent on a wild goose chase.” “Eck! A goose?!” Mabel gasped with sparkling eyes. “Sup, dawgs!” A voice called from the top of the second flight of stairs. “I’m Soos! Sorry, just wanted to make sure your room was clean. So dusty… anyways, welcome!” Dipper and Mabel peered to where the voice was coming from and saw a hammer standing up on it’s handle. It was smiling with long buck teeth and kind eyes. Split from the handle, like big splinters, were the arms, but it had no legs. Mabel smiled while Dipper just stared. “Hi! I’m Mabel! So you’re Soos?” “Sure am!” The hammer gestured to follow him. “C’mon, dudes, I’ll show you to your room.” Mabel followed with Dipper right behind her. Past expensive, dusty objects and paintings, the hammer led them to another set of double-doors. The hammer pushed them open and the kids awed at the living quarters. Beautiful twin-sized bunk beds stood proudly with the finest silks and pillows stuffed with feathers. A giant window with a balcony displayed the calm fall rain and a huge chest filled with toys and a wardrobe occupied the room, but the space was so vast that it somehow felt empty. The walls were painted gold with knights and kings and glorious battles telling stories on the ceiling. Mabel squealed with delight and ran to the bottom bed and plopped down. “Wowie, zowie! Is this all ours?” “Sure is, dude.” Soos said. “The boss wanted you kids to be safe and comfortable.” “You mean that big scary beast downstairs?” Dipper asked. “That’s the one!” Dipper couldn’t keep his smile at bay any longer. “I have always wanted bunk beds.” “I think he’s nice.” Mabel said from the bottom bunk. “Oh, the dude’s a nice guy.” Soos insisted. “Once you get to know him. He saved me and Abuelita from the streets a long time ago, gave us jobs and a home.” A cart came in, carrying a beautiful china pot that smiled at the guests. “Welcome!” She said with an Asian accent. “My name is Candy. So good to have company with us. Dinner will be ready shortly. Oh, no! You two look cold. Grenda! Grenda, wake up!” She barked. The wardrobe burst open and the eyes on top of the piece of furniture popped open. “I’m up, I’m up! SWEET LORD! Finally, new muses! You two need some new clothes!” Grenda opened her drawers, but moths flew out and she closed up immediately. “Oops. That’s… that happens sometimes.” Grenda opened her drawers again and whistled. “Okay, ladies, let's get to work, up, up, up!” Sewing needles, measuring tape, and thread sprang up from a drawer and began to work, pulling rolls of cloth out from the other drawers and sewing around the twins as they stood still. Mabel giggled and lightly touched the needles in greeting, treating them like butterflies, while Dipper stood rigid and still, afraid of being hurt. “Aw, don’t be so tense, boy.” Grenda giggled. “You like blue?” Dipper took in a deep breath, trying to relax, and he smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I like blue.” Soon the kids were changed into nicer clothes; not formal, but not made from itchy material and much more comfortable than their soak garments. Mabel twirled in her pink petticoat and jacket with golden buttons and she grinned at her brother, who wore a navy-blue jacket over an orange top. He kept his blue cap on proudly and he seemed comfortable. “Tuck your shirt in, scruffy.” The mirror on the wall spoke, spooking the kids. “Be nice, Pacifica.” Candy warned. Dipper had a million questions. He looked at Soos the hammer, Candy the teapot, Pacifica the mirror, and Grenda the wardrobe, and said quietly, “This is impossible. Objects can’t talk or move on their own.” Grenda shrugged, her golden arms free from being folded on top of a drawer. “Well, here we are.” “Abuelita used to say the world’s more full of magic than we know, dudes.” Soos said. “You’re magic?!” Mabel gasped happily, squishing her cheeks with her hands as her eyes shined like stars. “Duh,” Pacifica said as a reflection of her human form shined on the mirror, a pretty girl with long blonde hair. “This castle’s full of weird secrets and magic and mystery and whatever.” “We LOVE mystery, don’t we, Dipper?” Mabel asked, gripping his hand. “This guy is really good at solving them! He figured out who was stealing Manly Dan’s jerky.” “Everyone wanted to blame it on the kids, but no one with a shoe size of five could have made such a deep footprint in the mud unless they were heavier than an adolescent.” Dipper explained and shrugged with a sheepish smile. “And Mabel’s really smart, too. She discovered who was eating all our garbage and leaving smelly trails.” “All signs pointed to the goat.” Mabel said, puffing her chest out proudly. “Then you’ll fit right in, dudes!” Soos exclaimed excitedly. A harsh cough came from the door and an axe hopped in, with a beautiful girl carved into the handle. She dipped the heavy head of the axe and said, “Dinner’s ready.” The kids thanked the axe, at this point used to inanimate objects suddenly being animate, and left for the dining hall. Wendy gave Soos, Candy, Grenda, and Pacifica death glares and followed them out. Pacifica scoffed and her reflection faded away. Soos felt his face turn warm as he hopped on the cart and caught a ride with Candy; Grenda fell back asleep. Mabel and Dipper followed the axe into the dining hall and admired the scene before them. A huge table that could fit thirty stood polish with mahogany, filled with bread water, the best china and dishes the kids had ever dreamed of, and silverware made out of real silver. The axe hopped in front of them and said, “Alright, guys, my name’s Wendy. Basically I’m in charge when the boss isn’t here, and since he’s not here, I’m in charge right now. Follow me?” The kids nodded; Dipper really didn’t want to argue with an axe, in case if turned into an axe-murderer. They sat next to each other at the right hand of the head of the table, where the host would normally sit. Mabel laid her napkin on her lap and Dipper waited for something to happen. Just as Mabel opened her mouth to talk to Wendy, the axe hopped away and Candy the teapot hopped at the center of the table, a surprise spotlight on her. “Lady and gentleman! It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you here tonight! Now, we invite you to relax and get comfortable, as the dining room proudly presents: your dinner.” And magical dishes and trays filled with food hopped out from the kitchen and onto the table. Mabel leaned forward, elbows on the table and chin resting on her knuckles, while Dipper smiled unsure of what to make of this, but enjoying it nonetheless. “Be our guest…” ~~~~~~~~~~ Stan paced on all fours back and forth, his mind racing. He occasionally spoke, trying to think better by thinking out loud, but there was just so much to tackle at once. Stan stood on his back legs and his eyes rested on the journal. Decorated with a golden six-fingered hand, the journal was safe inside a glass case, never allowed to be touched. Still, it was so tempting, but too risky. That book was fragile and Stan was dangerous. The beast growled in his throat and resumed his pacing. What was he thinking, letting those kids stay here, allowing Soos to open the door, even meeting the kids. He should have stayed hidden and let them leave. But he couldn’t just let those kids go out into the woods and die; not even a monster like himself would do that. But Stan needed confirmation that he had made the right choice. Once again his gaze fell on the journal. He ceased his pacing again and stared at the journal. He sighed through his nose and approached it. He slowly, carefully, sat on the floor before the small table that occupied the book, staring at it, lost in thoughts and memories. A few minutes later, Stan found his claw on the glass cover, yearning to touch the journal, but he dared not to. Not yet. Not right now. It was too risky. A page fell out a few days ago. But then his cruel mind made him remember his brother’s pleading words. Stanley, I’m fine. You know I’m still here, right? I’m not just some book you can place on a shelf and walk away. Stanley, I can’t breathe in here. It’s maddening. I am not afraid of you. Stan tenderly lifted the glass case from over the journal and placed it on the ground. His gentle paws, the beast picked up the book and opened it. He smiled tiredly at a blank page. “Hey, Sixer.” Hello, Stanley. A knock came at the door, the one at the entrance of the West Wing; Stan’s advanced hearing could pick it up. He quickly shut the journal, put it on the table, and protected it with the glass cover. “What?” He called when he went to the door, but he didn’t open it. “Hi, Monsieur Stan!” A girl’s voice called. What did she say her name was? Maple? “Are you gonna come down to dinner? Madame Wendy said you didn’t want to. Are you okay? Does your tummy hurt?” Stan raised an eyebrow at the door. “Mabel, leave him alone.” The boy said. “He’ll come when he wants to.” “But Dipper, he should eat.” Stan had thought of hunting for a deer after the little pains in his side went to bed so he wouldn’t scare them or bother them when they were trying to recover and eat. He was surprised and apprehensive when they seemed to not only expect but desire his attendance. “You want to eat dinner with freak-show over here?” He asked suspiciously, not believing it. “Sure! Why not?” The girl called. Her name was Mabel, Stan recalled. “I don’t think you want that.” He warned. “What?! I totally want that! It’ll be fun, now come on! There’s delicious gray stuff!” She added, hoping it would tempt her host to join them for dinner. Stan snorted. He opened the door and looked down at the tiny humans. One could stand on the other’s shoulders and they wouldn’t reach his height. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” “Yay!” Mabel punched the air and laughed at Dipper’s face. “Hah! I win, sucka!” Dipper punched her shoulder and they started back to the dining hall. Stan followed them, giving them plenty of space. When they sat to eat, Mabel and Dipper chatted among themselves about how they loved the musical performance the servants had given. Mabel was careful to thank every single object individually, while Dipper settled for thanking them as a combined team. Stan smiled teasingly at the foolish kids, gushing over a stupid show. “Monsieur Stan, are you sure you’re not sick?” Mabel asked gently over her goblet of water. Stan gave her a skeptical look, expecting a jab at his monstrous appearance. “I’m fine, kid.” He growled. Mabel blinked, unsure as to why he was so stoic and strict. “Really? You’re not eating. Do you not like it?” Dipper also noticed it, privately predicting that the beast would tear into his meal, but he had not even touched his meat or picked up his drink. “Had a big lunch pretty late in the day.” Stan said, waving the question away. “Now quit pestering me about it!” “Oh. Okay. By the way, you never answered my questions.” “Huh?” “What’s your favorite color? Do you have a sweet tooth? Do you like sweet or sour things? Do you have a favorite song?” Mabel asked all in one breath, so quickly that it took the host a minute to gather his answers. “Oh. Um… red, yes, sweet, and no.” Mabel grinned, excited to elaborate on Stan’s answers, and she and Stan gradually had a conversation. It was an odd conversation, with Mabel doing most of the talking and the two knowing so little about the other and having next to nothing in common that it might have been tricky to talk pleasantly, but soon Stan found himself flapping up water with his scratchy tongue as he listened to the girl’s twenty-first story. Mabel smiled and covered her mouth with her hand at the sight, finding it endearing. Dipper would occasionally inject and join in, but mostly he observed. Stan hadn’t realized how quiet the castle had become until it was filled with noise. A grandfather clock out in the hall screamed, “NINE O’CLOCK!”, making Dipper jump and splash water on his face, and Mabel laughed at the little scare. “Right, time for bed, gremlins.” Stan said and pointed to the door. “You’ve got your work cut out for you in the morning. No more softening you up. I want you wide-eyed and bushy-tailed by sunrise.” “But, we don’t have tails.” Dipper sneered with a smile. “Not my problem, runt, now go before you get nightmares from looking at this face for too long.” Mabel didn’t like that last comment, but she decided to let it pass. “G’night, Monsieur Stan!” She said cheerfully and waved to him as she walked out of the dining hall with Dipper right beside her. When the door was closed behind them, Stan sighed with relief; he was starving. Acting on instinct alone, he tore into his food like an animal and spewed it all over his face and clothes. He later huffed in shame and humiliation, and with as much pride as he could muster, he left the table and ventured to bed. Meanwhile, Mabel slipped on her white nightgown and climbed up to the top bunk bed; Dipper had a habit of falling out of bed already, he didn’t need to be six feet up. She snuggled under the cozy covers and was pleasantly surprised to find warm pans between the blankets. “I like it here.” Mabel said sleepily, rubbing an eye. “It’s like we’re in a story of our own.” Dipper smiled up at the bottom of Mabel’s bed, his head resting on his folded arms. “Yeah… I guess so.” There was a long pause. Despite Mabel’s optimism and cheerful attitude, now that there was nothing to distract her, a sudden worry made a knot in her stomach. “Dipper? Do you really think Fiddleford is okay?” Dipper took too long to answer for her sister's comfort, but when he spoke she felt much better. “He’s fought in two wars, survived crazy invention-attacks, and raised you. He can handle anything.” Mabel giggled at the jab he made at her and said, “More like he survived raising you, Dumb-Dumb.” Dipper chuckled, “Goodnight, Stupid.” “G’night, Stupid.” Dipper blew out the candle, but it would be a long time before Mabel finally closed her eyes and fell asleep. ~~~~~~~~~~ The rain had finally stopped, but the cold was even worse now. Even so, it could not he felt inside Gleeful’s Glee-Filled Tavern, where hard-working men and women were relaxing in the comfort of fires and warm beer. Gideon had just finished a musical number that left the policemen crying with happiness and the other girls cheering. His mother shakingly filled drinks and his father collected some money for the performance by the piano. Gideon sat on the instrument to be eye-level with Ghost Eyes. He sighed tiredly. “I don’t understand it, my hench-angel. Why won’t Mabel admit that she loves me?” “Maybe because she doesn’t?” Ghost Eyes suggested into his beer. “I bet it’s cuz she keeps herself so busy.” Gideon speculated. “Think about it, with only old Man McGucket taking care of things she and Dipper have to… wait. What if she’s afraid to love me?” The white-haired boy gasped. “Wait, what?” “It all makes sense now!” Gideon proclaimed. “She’s lost almost all of her family! For someone so young, she’s lost so much! What if she’s afraid to only gain something to lose?! What if she’s afraid one day I’ll be gone, too?!” Gideon stood up proudly on the piano, with his fists on his hips. “Well, I swear by all this is holy and unholy that that will never happen! I will always be there for her, no matter what!” “YEAH!” Ghost Eyes cheered and had the boy sit on his muscular shoulder. “We love you, Lil’ Gideon!” Durland yelled. “Sing more of those funny songs!” “You got it! Ahem, ahem… nooooo oooooone…” The doors burst open, letting in some cold air, as Old Man McGucket came running in. the townsfolk gasped at him. He was dirty and his hair was frazzled and his glasses were cracked, but worst of all his arm was bruised and cradled by his chest protectively, as if it was broken. This man had obviously been through something horrible, his eyes wide and his jaw tight. “HELP!” He cried out. “HELP ME, PLEASE!” “McGucket, what happened?” Blubs asked. “It’s the children!” Old Man McGucket yelled and scrambled around the tavern, informing all of the tragedy. “We were attacked by wolves out in the woods n’ separated! They’re out there somewhere, lost n’ cold n’ possibly hurt! Please! We have t’find ‘em!” The townsfolk muttered among themselves. It was dangerous in those woods, filled with wolves and horrible animals. They were unsure if the children were alive. What was the point of risking their lives for dead bodies, especially the dead bodies of the troublesome Pines twins. “Aren’t these the same kids that built that wretched sound box?” Old Man McGucket paled a shade. “Y-Yes, b-b-but they were only tryin’...” “And are always reading? What’s that boy doing, teaching a girl to read? It’s unnatural.” “It’s beautiful!” Old Man McGucket snapped. “Dipper’s only tryin’ t’help his sister…” “I thought his name was Mason…” “It’s Dipper!” Old Man McGucket’s energy was failing him as he appeared alone in the world. “I… I know they seem different, but… but, please. They’re still only children. My children. Will no one help me find ‘em?” Gideon leaned towards Ghost Eyes’ ear and whispered excitedly, “This is perfect! Mabel needs my help; she’ll see how I’m willing to do anything for her and she’ll finally realize she loves me!” Gideon stood on Ghost Eyes’ shoulder and declared, “I’ll help!” Old Man McGucket turned and stared at the boy. “Ya will?” “Sure I will!” Gideon said and hopped off to walk on a long table. “Folks, I know we’ve had our fair share of whoopsie-daisies in the past, but Mabel and Dipper are still part of our fair town. They need our help, so I say no one should rest until they’re safe at home!” “YEAH!” Manly Dan yelled and punched a whole in the stone wall. “Let’s find the Pines!” Blubs said and the whole town cheered for Lil’ Gideon. Old Man McGucket approached the boy shakingly and smiled. “Th-Thanks ya so much. Ya’ve always been a… a loyal friend t’em.” “Don’t thank me yet.” Gideon said with a smile. “Let’s just get my queen and future brother-in-law back.” And he went off to gather the volunteers. Fiddleford watched the boy leave and he winced. “Aw, banjo polish.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note: I know it seems like I’m a hater of BatB songs since only one is in here, two songs are not from BatB at all, and I teased two BatB songs in this chapter but never delivered, but I promise that more are on the way (or at least obscure gestures to the songs since this isn’t a musical).

I will share that I ALMOST opened the entire story with a Hercules-like intro, with Dipper and Mabel destroying the town with an invention and being rejected by the village, making the scene of Fiddleford trying to convince people to help look for them more compelling, but I backed away since I couldn’t think of a good destructive invention that could be built by two twelve-year-olds in the early 1800s. I’d love to hear some of your ideas, guys!

Pacifica is kinda a reference to the Magic Mirror from Snow White, and while Lazy Susan would’ve made a great Mrs. Potts, I decided to make Candy head of the kitchen and the tea pot and have Lazy Susan be a friend of Fiddleford and Shermie’s and give hand in raising Dipper and Mabel sometimes, one of the few people in town that actually liked them. I will warn you that this story does not focus much on the side characters, rather the development of the main characters.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope y’all enjoy it!

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Why? ~ F.W. (part 2)

A/n: You might think nothing's happening now but yaaaaaaaall I'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS SERIES!! This was hard for me to write because I'm so excited for future parts but hopefully you guys enjoy it as I did thinking it up :)

Word Count: 5600+

MASTERLIST

Most days I was easy to wake up. All the Headmistress has to do was open my door and say my name and I was instantly stiff and alert and jumping out of bed. And those were lazy days. Summers were hard because I never slept well at the orphanage. I was usually awake even before anyone came to get me.

At the Diggorys' though, I slept so soundly that it was near impossible to wake me up. Cedric sometimes has to tickle me awake, pulling blankets off of me and jumping on the bed as he screamed my name, half laughing. A few times he'd given up and just carried me to the breakfast table, plopping me in a chair with messy hair and heavy eyelids and blanket wrapped around me and all. Those were Amos' (Diggory's dad) favorite mornings. He laughed for several minutes as I tried to open my eyes and say good morning through my thick tongue covered in sticky morning grossness.

All Summer, Cedric and I had been bonding. He found out my birthday was June 16 and he threw me a little party. We made a cake together after he woke me up with chocolate chip waffles (a delicacy I'd cried over the first time I'd had it because it was SO GOOD) and had even gotten a present - A locket with a 'D' carved on the front. Inside was Amos and Cedric. That day we were doing different dorky things I'd always wanted to do. Arts and crafts, where he made me a hairpin and I made him a little clip to put on his tie and a little ring he'd put on a chain and wore around his neck because it was too small for his fingers. He did a puppet show but magic style, where he had the shadows he made become their own characters even when he put his hands down, talking to me and raising my hair by hitting at my shadow's hair. He gave me a piggyback ride which I immediately became obsessed with and Amos joined us when we began to exchange terrible jokes, going back and forth until I was on my back, face beet red because I'd stopped breathing for too long. Overall it was an amazing day.

One day he gave me flying lessons because I was struggling with brooms. Another day he taught me to clean with magic, levitating and instilling patterns and instructions into inanimate objects. Another day he taught me how to properly tie a tie- apparently, I'd done it wrong my whole first year. Sometimes we'd get in a fight over something ridiculous or he'd be busy or tired or I'd get sucked into a book he'd suggested me and we spent several days apart, but by a week's time, we'd met up again and started up as if no time had passed.

Now Summer was over though. We'd gone shopping for our new things for this year and were all ready as we headed to the train station. Amos gave me a goodbye hug and a kiss on the forehead - which felt so fatherly I nearly cried. I managed to pull myself together enough to be escorted by Cedric to the train as he talked about licorice wands. "Muggle candy is so much worse than that." I laughed and he tilted his head. I began to tell him about licorice in the muggle world and he stopped me mid-explanation, fingers in his ears, singing 'lalalala' on the top of his lungs. I couldn't breathe for a second I was laughing so hard.

As we talked, I bumped into a girl. I caught my breath to turn and face her. "I'm so sorry."

She had platinum blond hair and soft blue eyes and a sort of distant look in her eyes. "It's okay." Her voice was high and smooth. "Quibbler?" She tentatively offered me the magazine and I looked down.

It was colorful and had some weird names of things I'd never heard before. "I would love one," I told her, taking it. "What's your name?"

"Luna Lovegood," she answered. "Yours?"

"Ylva Black."

Her eyes light up. "What a nice name. Did you know that Ylva means 'she-wolf' in Swedish?"

I blushed. "I- I did." That was something I didn't want anyone to know... but here we were. "How did you know that?"

"I know all sorts of things," she shrugged. "Like how you're a Slytherin and your favorite color is green, which I think is a wonderful coincidence." Cedric and I both paused to see if she would retaliate but she didn't seem bothered by me being a Slytherin like most people were. "Well, I'll see you around." She moved away and Cedric and I waited for her to be out of ear shot to look at each other. The second our gazes met we covered our mouths, trying not to be too loud as we giggled.

Moving into an empty compartment, we continued our conversation about some of the creatures in the Quibbler. "Have you ever heard or Nargles?" I asked, eyebrows pushed together and head tilted.

Cedric scoffed. "It's all bogus. It's just loads of weird things that don't exist and gossip that doesn't matter." He rolled his eyes but I ignored him. It was interesting to learn about things, even if they may not be real.

The compartment door opened and I looked up to see Fred come in. "Hey Fred," I greeted, smiling.

He seemed dazed for a second as he looked at me and I frowned, momentarily worried about him. He seemed to snap out of it though, blinking and softly shaking his head before coming to sit down next to me. "Hey, Liv. Cedric. How was your summer?”

"Brilliant," I answered, grinning at Cedric. He nodded in agreement. "I have to say, my twelfth birthday really was the best one thanks to Ced and his dad."

Cedric's smile softened, warmed. "I'm glad."

The three of us fell into an easy conversation that flowed naturally and easily. Sometimes we fell into silence and it was fine. Comfortable. Just like silence always was with these boys. Fred was just telling us about some of his most epic pranks when I noticed that we were probably almost there and should change into robes. We parted ways to do so and then returned just to get right back into it with ease, like we hadn’t even stopped.

Finally, I realized something that gave me a reason to interrupt. "Why aren't you with George?"

He shot me a look, smiling as he jokingly said, "I could leave if you want."

I rolled my eyes. "You know I love having you here, but I mean... you and George are usually pretty impossible to separate aren't you? You talk about all your pranks with him there. Every prank idea you have, he's involved. Every time I've seen you, you're nearly always by his side. I just don't want him to be all lonely- he can come too if he wants to hang out." My voice grew soft as I realized that maybe it wasn't that Fred didn't want him here more than George didn't want to be here... because I was. I swallowed.

Fred put an arm around my shoulder. "Oh, he's busy with Lee Jordan. Those two get along fine without me. We can have different friends and do different things, sometimes." I nodded, feeling sick. "You have to keep in mind though that if you're going to be friends with me he will be around sometimes though. He is my best friend." He smiled and I felt like that was his way of telling me that George didn't hate me. I wasn't sure but either way, it comforted me.

"I wouldn't mind that."

Fred didn't drop his hand from my shoulders as we moved off of the train, him capturing my attention until Cedric called my name to wave goodbye as he moved away to join his other friends. I waved back as Fred guided me to his friends while we walked. I didn't mind and they didn't seem to either so we stopped by them and the two of us chatted and giggled as he talked about how amazing at Quidditch he was. I guess the talk pulled over other players because Harry popped up. "You should come and watch! I saw you at one game last year but then you never came again."

"I kept getting distracted by homework," I sighed. "Plus after all the anxiety your first game caused me when you were nearly knocked off your broom, I wasn't keen on returning."

Harry rubbed the back of his neck and I wondered if I dredged up an unpleasant memory. "Yeah, well, nothing like that should happen again."

Fred jarred me a bit to get my attention again. "Oh please, Liv? You can see my mad skills!" He was grinning so wide that I couldn't help myself.

I gave in. "Oh alright."

Harry and Fred cheered and I laughed. Their loud noises brought more people over. George finally popped up, which is when I met Lee Jordan officially for the first time. We went to the castle together, parting as everyone else went to the Gryffindor table and I met Sam and Beth halfway to Slytherin. Sam couldn't keep in contact over the Summer (and his brother was glaring at us as we approached) but Beth had told him summaries of the summaries I'd told her. Now I told them both in detail about my Summer. About the Diggory house and Cedric and my birthday.

That caught Beth's attention. "When's your birthday?"

"July 16," I told her. She nodded. We'd sat at the table at this point and now we grew quiet as McGonagall came in with the first years. Instantly I felt all the happiness drain out of me as she began the sorting ceremony, reminding me of my own. My eyes searched out Fred and George at the Gryffindor table as my ear kept open.

"Sylvester Plyth."

The boy had strawberry blonde hair and brown eyes so dark they were nearly black. His jaw was a little uneven and he tripped as he walked up. I always tried to guess someone's house just by the way they walked and handled the attention of being in front of everybody. This boy keeps his eyes on the floor, shuffling nervously as people looked at him and the hat spoke in his head where no one else could hear. I guess maybe Hufflepuff.

"SLYTHERIN!"

My grin was wide. Our first new student of the night. The people around me cheered - and I did so maybe loudest of all, especially when I noticed Fred and George respectively clapping, little smiles on their faces. Fred and I made eye contact and exchanged wide smiles.

Maybe I didn't hate the Weasley twins as much as I’d first thought.

The ceremony passed and a first-year girl sat next to me, shaking in her seat. I put an arm around her but didn't look over, still trying to preserve her pride without drawing attention to the exchange. That helped a lot. After it was over, Dumbledore introduced the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher- Professor Lockhart. I'd heard of the man of course, but he was even more ridiculous and repugnant in person. I did notice the girls around me sighing and I wasn't sure why. He could be our father. And the way his eyes moved across the crowd, basking in the glory of those admiring him... I didn't care what he'd done to be considered so great, his arrogance and self-righteous attitude overshadowed it. I was relieved to see all the boys rolling their eyes and also some girls who seemed to stand on the same floor as me.

The feast that officially started my second year at Hogwarts ended and it was time for bed. Second-year dorms weren't that much different. I sort of liked the small changes. It meant I was progressing.

School was normal. Fred has officially joined Cedric’s and my study session, so it could be officially considered a study group. He'd never asked to bring anybody else and he never tried to. I liked that it was just us three.

My casual friendship with Harry allowed him to update me on the drama that was happening even if I suffered none of it first hand. One day he lay down everything he'd gone through so far this year, rolling his eyes at Lockheart same as I did. We talked about him quite a bit since he seemed so refreshed to see a girl not under the blonde teacher's spell. "I wonder if he charms them," I joked at one point. "Do you think Dumbledore would fire him if he did?" We both laughed. He also told me about Draco, which darkened the mood quite a bit.

"But not all Slytherins live up to their reputation."

We exchanged smiles the tension eased. "Not all Slytherins," I agreed.

Classes were pretty normal. The first day of Potions I called Neville over, patting the seat next to me. It was the first time I'd seen him smile in this class. And the last. It hadn't been long after the start of class, but it was already clear that Snape wasn’t going to lay off too much this year when I groaned after Neville messed up a potion. The sound had been quiet but Snape was right behind us. I tensed when I felt him sidle up to our desk, readying myself for him to threaten or insult. But he didn't. He just hummed disapprovingly and the look he gave Neville was nasty enough that the boy went pale. But then he just moved on. Perhaps we’d catch the smallest of breaks.

I scooted closer to Neville. "It's okay, we'll get it right this time."

It seems so normal and easy, that first month before Halloween hits. It passes by easily and then it's pumpkins and ghosts and scary stories and sweet treats and pranks and scares and everything in between. Nearly Headless Nick's Death Day party I heard is usually uneventful for the living, but the feast is fantastic. There was laughter and screams and teasing and... Mrs. Norris hanging from a wall, petrified.

Petrified.

I didn't even know it was a word until I'd heard she was it.

The mood in the whole castle seemed to drop a bit. Just a bit. I mean she was just a cat but petrification was kind of a chilling concept. Not to mention the blood on the wall, the water that covered nearly everywhere, and Harry Potter who was found in the middle of it all.

It was soon forgotten at the coming of the first Quidditch game of the year, though. It was Gryffindor versus Slytherin and I shouldn't have been torn but it was. Fred waved to me and I wiggled my fingers in response. Someone a few seats away cheered for Draco. Our new seeker. I looked over as the platinum blonde arsehole took to the sky with a smirk that was too proud and self-satisfied for his own good. I tried not to glare at him. When I looked back at the others, I caught Fred looking at me. He pointed at Malfoy and rolled his eyes. I nodded, shaking my head. He paused before lifting his club, slowly swinging it. I realized he was mining hitting Malfoy over the head. I felt only a little bad for laughing.

The game started and the jokes stopped. I could tell Malfoy was antagonizing Harry and it irritated me so much that I almost wanted Slytherin to lose just to wipe that smile off of Malfoy's face.

Almost. I still had pride for my house.

Beth found me as the game started. Just as I diverted my attention from the Seekers to the others- it was weird how my gaze was drawn to the twins and no matter how hard I tried I sat there and just watched them- she grabbed my arm. "Who are you watching so intently?"

"No one," I brushed off, frowning at her. My face felt warmer than it had before. I coughed and she rolled her eyes, humming in a doubting way. She did drop it though and I was glad.

I was getting into the game. Lee Jordan's shouting and the zooming and rushing was impossible to deny. I was cheering and screaming in outrage with the rest of those in the stands. Sam joined us at some point, sitting on the other side of Beth. We kept smacking each others' arms and grabbing hands and forearms to balance us when we shot to our feet or leaned too far toward too suddenly and lost our balance. I was having a lot of fun actually.

Then the Bludger decided to kill Harry.

Slytherin was in the lead and I was stoked about it... but then the Bludger broke Oliver Wood's - the Gryffindor Keeper - broom by slamming into it brutally, knocking him out of the sky. The victory so far was wiped from my head as my smile wiped from my face as Harry took off, racing as the Bludger followed loyally behind him, apparently out for murder. "What's going on?" I asked, leaning forward.

"I..." Sam paused, tilting his head, trying to think. Beth looked between us, more unsure than worried. "It looks like someone's spelled the Bludger to follow him."

Dread filled me. "Could it hurt him?" The look Sam gave me made my body go cold as I looked back to Harry. He cut through the Slytherins and we all screamed, leaning away from the middle to leave him room to pass us. The passing Bludger was moving so fast with so much force that its projection stole the air of my gasp and made it hard to take a breath in again, moving my hair as both boy and ball zoomed past. I spun around, gasping, to keep him in sight. The ball tore through the sides of the stadiums and I held my breath... thankfully none fell. Harry wasn't having the same luck though. Finally, he stopped in front of Malfoy. He ducked and the Bludger soared mere inches from Draco's head. Then he dived. This movement was more purposeful- not dodging... chasing.

"He found the Snitch," I breathed out. Malfoy was on his tail, slamming into him as they went for the Snitch and the Bludger went for them. I stopped breathing. They ducked under the stands and I swallowed a groan, not moving a muscle until they resurfaced. They dropped down again too fast for me to catch my breath. There was too long of a pause and then Malfoy shot up from the below place they were flying around in. It looked like he'd crashed as he hit the ground hard, rolling and holding his stomach like he was going to be sick.

Finally, Harry popped up and I let my air come normally as I tried to seem normal. Would my fellow Slytherins hate me even more if I cared what happened to a boy who was twelve years old just because he was Harry Potter? Just because he was a Gryffindor? Just because he WASN'T a Slytherin? I couldn't bring myself to care enough to really hold myself back though. Right now all I could think about was Harry and if he was okay.

He reached out and it seemed like he was very close to grabbing what I could only assume was the Snitch since I couldn't see it. I did, however, see the Bludger slam into his arm. I shot to my feet and screamed, "HARRY!" Beth jumped in surprise next to me.

The boy steadied himself and then slowly but surely reached out his other arm. Reaching... reaching... He bucked forward and lost balance, slipping upside down so he held onto his broom but looked up at the sky before skidding on the ground a few times and then falling off entirely. I was frozen in place, unable to move or think, barely able to breathe.

"Harry Potter has caught the Snitch! Gryffindor wins!" I nearly laughed, shaking my head. The complete moron WOULD catch the Snitch even after all of that, wouldn't he?

It wasn't over yet though. The Bludger was still after him, crashing down again and again as Harry rolled around, desperately avoiding it. I saw a spell fly and looked over to see Hermione running into the field... actually, a lot of people were on the field now. My smile faded as my worry took over again. It still hadn't registered that Slytherin had lost.

There was a commotion and Harry was carted off, the crowd of his friends going to follow after him. The game was over and I wanted to check on Harry so I went to move through the crowd, hurrying to get to the Hospital Wing. I was interrupted when fingers gripped the collar of my robes, pulling me close to a face. "Tristen," I gasped, eyes wide. Sam's older brother.

"What's with you?" He demanded nastily. "Cheering for the Gryffindors. Standing up for that snot nose brat in front of Snape. Were you actually concerned for that Seeker? Are you even aware that we lost?"

"Let me go!" I screamed. The Slytherins around us watched, eyes wide but not moving to walk away or step in.

He shook me and I blinked as the world started to dot in black spots. I felt suddenly dizzy. "You're no Slytherin! You're a disgrace to those colors! To the man who started this house! Are you even a Pureblood?"

The blood rushes to my head. I locked my jaw after I bit my tongue, tasting blood. I closed my eyes, trying to breathe evenly, taking advantage of the time he was giving me while he demanded questions. He spoke slowly, each word enunciated and seething with disgust and hate and anger. I finally got orientation just a bit. I brought my knee up to his groin. He let go and I landed on my feet. The world was spinning and I had to grip the bar behind me to stabilize myself but I pulled my wand out, eyes wide as I took long, even breaths to try and get my vision back to normal. "I said," I snapped. "Let. Go. Of. Me." He looked up at me with wide eyes. He was a seventh year, five years older than me. He was tall and maybe not the strongest kid but he must have been three times my weight between age and height alone. But he was on the ground and I was armed. I was in control. "And do not EVER lay a finger on me without my permission ever again." I was gasping but everything was going back to normal, so that was a relief. After catching my breath and regaining my stability, I kneeled down in front of him, the top of my wand denting the skin under his chin. He was actually quite attractive but all I could see when I looked at that pretty face was the murderous look from earlier flipped 180 into a look of fear now. "You're a coward. You attacked me because I'm smaller than you and you thought for sure I'd be helpless. Well, let me tell you, Tristan, if you ever even threaten me again or even just give me a look that makes me uncomfortable, I WILL kill you. Do I make myself PERFECTLY clear? Is that Slytherin enough for you?" He didn't respond so I pushed my wand further into his skin.

"Yes!" He choked out.

I stepped back. "Good." I walked away, a sick feeling in my stomach as I did so.

-

Not long after the Quidditch match, another student was petrified. A first year. That put everyone even more on edge. Lockheart, in an attempt to distract and cheer us, started up a dueling club with Snape. There had been so much tension in my life that I'd started to avoid everyone. One day Sam talked to me and then showed up for dinner with a bruise on his jaw. I'd gotten him to admit "someone" he hadn't seen had given it to him after calling him a traitor for being friends with me. After that, I stopped even talking to Cedric. Everyone was concerned. I could see it in the faces of the friends whose eyes were trained on me at meal times and now, during our little duel club.

Harry and Malfoy went up first. It went well for a while. A good distraction. But then Draco summoned a snake. And Harry started talking to it. I felt a coldness toward the Boy Who Lived rising up in me. The Petrificiations and now this? I flashed back to the first victim. Mrs. Norris. The blood on the wall.

Enemies of the heir, beware.

The rumors of the heir of Slytherin and the Chamber of Secrets. The talk about how Salazar Slytherin was one of extremely few who could talk to snakes. A talent only his own descendants had had since.

Was Harry Potter the heir of Slytherin? A Gryffindor?

Later, when Harry would be found at the site of Nearly Headless Nick and Justin Finch-Fletchley, a Hufflepuff, who were both petrified, it became even harder to not believe the possibility of it.

The thought changed everything.

-

It was Hermione who found me. After I'd snapped Cedric's head off he'd finally given me my space, telling me that he understood I was under a lot of pressure since I'd told him (very few details) of the run-in with Tristan the day of the Quidditch match that seemed some forever ago now. After that, I'd spent most of my time alone. Now Hermione sat across from me. Her face was so full of worry and tenderness that I couldn't bear to be angry at her. "Hello," she greeted softly.

I swallowed. "Hi."

She paused. "I overheard Neville talking to one of his friends. And of course, there's Fred and George. I mean to say, you're not alright are you?" She sighed. "I mean to say, they're worried about you. We're worried about you. And I was wondering if maybe... maybe I could help in some way?" She looked down at my work. "I could help you study."

I looked down at it too. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm afraid..." I looked up at her. "Being your friend would make my situation... worse than it already is." She nodded, understanding but not happy about it. "If you have someone who doesn't care that I'm a Slytherin and still accepts friendships from people of other houses that isn't a Gryffindor, THAT might help."

Her eyes light up. "I actually do have someone in mind. If you were being serious?"

I paused for a long time. I had been joking before, but if she DID have someone... well honestly it was a good idea. "They'd have to be easy to be around. I can't tolerate hyper people, they annoy me."

Hermione grinned, standing up. "I'll send her over. Do you trust me?" I paused a second and then offered a small smile and nodded.

And that was how I became friends with Luna Lovegood of all people.

-

Luna was the one who told me Hermione was petrified. She was also the one who helped me deal with my Slytherin issue, reminding me who I was and my vow not to let what other people said affect me. She was going through something similar herself so it was only too easy to level with her. She reasoned me through my anxieties and at every revelation of myself to her, I was stunned with how she took it in stride. She still didn't know everything, but what she did know did not bother her. She was the only person who could truly defuse my pent up, hot emotions and calm me down. She was just so odd yet reasonable. It seemed like she knew every secret of the universe. It was through her I got talking to Fred and Cedric again. She joined our trio, showing up to weekend study sessions and free time hang outs. As Luna kept us calm and open-minded and Fred kept us fun, Cedric kept us responsible. I kept us alive. Despite all the jumps and scares and creepy uncertainties of what was wrong, it was easier with them in my life. It was easier with Beth and Neville.

No one could make it easier with Sam. He did pull me aside one day. "I can't be your friend this year." It nearly broke my heart and I was stunned into silence. "Not really. I mean, I expect updates from Beth still, and know that I still think of you as my friend, but... well, in years to come, Tristan won't be at Hogwarts anymore. He won't be there to push me around and make life Hell for you. I'm just tired of both of us hurting because of my brother's nastiness. Do you... understand?”

I smiled. "Yes, I do."

Beth and Sam promised to check up on me during the Summer, but for the rest of the short year, they'd keep their distance. That was okay. I had my brother and my two best friends to keep me company. Everything was fine.

Near the end of school when things reacted an all-time high level of bad, everything seemed to change. Fred tackled me in a hug. He was shaking.

Instantly my attention was diverted from my upcoming end of the year exams. "What's wrong Freddie?"

"Have you heard about Harry and the Chamber of Secrets?"

I hesitated. "I've heard rumors." He took a deep breath and it was odd because he was SO much taller than me. My body curved against his and I stood on my very tippy toes. His arms were strong against my back. "What happened? Tell me, I'm here. I'm listening." I had a HUGE soft spot for Fred that had grown over this year. Every time I even looked at him I felt... soft. Warm. Sometimes it agitated me. Sometimes it put me on high alert, like now, when I was worried about him. Sometimes it calmed me down. Usually not though.

"Ron told me there was a Basilisk. Harry hadn't said much but... big snake. Ghost of someone's past. My sister got possessed. Almost died." He said it all very quickly and very quietly in a tone that conveyed he was having a hard time believing it, even though he wouldn't doubt it happened because he trusted the source of the knowledge to tell him the truth.

Shock.

"Merlin's beard, Fred." I held him tighter, one hand rubbing his back.

"I feel so weird. Thinking of them down there. I know they're safe but... I can't explain it."

I soothingly hushed him. "It's your two youngest siblings facing potential death together. I don't blame you for being upset by that idea Fred. But they're okay, yeah? You said it yourself. It's okay to be upset though. Just know they're okay. Both of them."

He relaxed. "Your hugs make everything better. I can't believe I haven't hugged you before."

I chuckled. "Well Freddie, you can hug me anytime you need okay?"

He smiled. "Yeah okay. Cool."

I don't know what drove me to do it. Maybe the way his voice broke or the watery look in his eyes or the shake of his smile. Whatever it was, I popped up with a little bounce and kissed his forehead. He blushed and suddenly the gesture didn't feel as platonic as I'd first meant it to be. "Sorry," I stuttered. "I- I don't know what- you just- um-"

"No need to apologize." Despite his blush, he was smirking. "You can do that whenever you want as well."

I shoved him. "Shut it, Weasley."

He seemed to be joking and as I joked back the mood changed and the awkwardness passed and was forgotten. How odd a moment to exist at all really.

-

Once it all ended, all that was left was to go home. The Diggory's offered me to stay with them again but I got another offer from the Weasleys. Hermione and Luna were also added to the list of people who wanted letters from me to stay in touch. It was encouraging, knowing that I was making friends and making an impact.

Just like last year I met Cedric on the train, Luna joining us shortly. At first, I thought Fred wasn't coming but then Harry and Ron passed, Hermione behind them, the Weasley horde behind them. Fred paused in front of our compartment and went to join us, which brought George along too. Ginny turned around and she plopped down as well, introducing herself to me for the first time all year. "What's going on in here?" We all looked over to see Hermione, Harry, and Ron behind her.

I grinned. "Want to join us?"

"I don't think there's room for all three of us," she sighed. "But thank you for the offer. An owl at least every month, yeah? You promise?"

"I promise."

She nodded and then turned around. Harry waved goodbye and I returned the gesture. I'd dismissed my theory about him being the heir of Slytherin, even if I didn't know the details of everything. He was too... Harry.

And so my second year of Hogwarts ended.

I have to say, not too bad. Not to bad at all.

-

Tag List: @reddie-steddie-go

[polyrolemodels]

Mx Nillin

1. How long have you been polyamorous or been practicing polyamory?

Personally? Less than 5 years. I’ve been non-monogamous with my nesting partner, Falon, for about 4 years now, but neither of us explicitly identified as polyamorous until we started seeing our best friend Kate about a year ago. 

2. What does your relationship dynamic look like?

Falon and I are legally married and live together in a tiny apartment with a cat and two guinea pigs. We’re in a romantic, sexual, and emotional relationship with our best friend, Kate, who lives on her own a short drive across town.

Kate doesn’t want to ever get married or live with anybody else. She really values having her own place to herself and so do we, so, it just works out for everybody really well! We all see each other multiple times a week, binge watching Netflix shows, playing nerdy tabletop games, going on date nights, checking out local events, or trying out threesome positions for ourselves and then blogging about them [http://mxnillin.com/will-it-threesome-double-dip/] LOL

Though Fal, Kate, and I are in a closed polyamorous triad together, we’re all still non-monogamous to a degree. Each of us has a friend or two we sometimes share nudes and flirt with outside of our relationship, but the three of us are all romantically committed to each other.

3. What aspect of polyamory do you excel at?

Ugh, honestly, I wouldn’t say that I “excel” at anything so much as I’m just doing the best I can to look after my own health and wellness while also striving to be the best partner I can be to Kate and Falon.

I used to be REALLY bad at the whole self-care thing and it lead to a lot of fear, anxiety, insecurities, and jealousy in my past relationships. I almost exclusively relied on those who I was intimate with to just comfort me until I felt better. In some cases, I put the entire onus of my mental and emotional health onto my past partners. Unsurprisingly, that created some incredibly fucking unhealthy behaviors as I sought out a pretty constant supply of comfort, validation, and assurance from them in order for me to feel happy and secure in those relationships.

That’s not so much an issue for me anymore, and I’m really proud of that because it has taken a lot of hard work to unlearn those toxic behaviors, develop healthier personal habits, and overall better communicate with the people who I love. I’m also much more on top of taking my anti-depressant pills, and going in to see my counsellor, when necessary.

That’s not to say I’m some stoic, chill master of my emotions or anything. Insecurities still crop up, jealousy sometimes rears its head, and on occasion a little validation is appreciated, but I think all of that is pretty natural

4. What aspect of polyamory do you struggle with?

The stigma. Holy shit, the stigma

I‘ve never loved two people at the same time, and in the same ways, before. I’ve never been committed to two partners at once before. Like, it’s no exaggeration when I say that my relationship with Falon and Kate has shattered my entire perspective of life, love, family, the institution of marriage, identity, politics, and so much more.

And all for the better, I might add!

But polyamory isn’t something you see reflected back at you by society, especially not in any sort of positive, judgement-free way. It’s not a relationship structure that’s even sorta socially, politically, governmentally, or economically accepted, let alone widely acknowledged, talked about, written about, ore seen out in public. And it sure as shit isn’t represented in a lot in literature, or art, or media of any kind… at least not in ways that don’t tend to be fetishizing or tragic. 

I mean, when’s the last time you’ve seen any sort of show about an everyday non-binary queer navigating life with their poly family? Never? Yeah, me neither.

All of this has led to us having to pretty regularly endure super shitty, awkward situations of us having to be in the closet depending on who we’re interacting with at any given time. Trying to remember who you’re out to, and who is SAFE to be out to, is exhausting and stressful for us all.

And that fucking blows. Yet it’s oftentimes necessary for all our safety.

5. How do you address and/or overcome those struggles?

I talk about it with my partners. A lot. We check in with each other pretty often and we don’t let difficult discussions go undiscussed for long. 

And I write about it too! Maybe too much at times haha.

I find that by putting myself out there, speaking up about my experiences and relationships, it has helped me empower others in their poly relationships while offering me the opportunity to learn from them as well. Especially other sex bloggers, writers, and workers.

I’ve also surrounded myself with a pretty amazing little family of queer and trans folks who have been wonderful supports in my life.

6. In terms of risk-aware/safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

Clear, concise, honest communication has been key. Fal, Kate, and I are all aware of each other’s past partners and we’ve all tested ourselves for STI’s. Currently, we’re all fluid-bonded together, so, condom usage isn’t really there like it used to be. However, we still make sure to boil any sex toys that are shared (between uses), keep our nails trimmed, use lube as needed, and generally make sure that we’re listening to and respecting each other’s boundaries.

7. What is the worst mistake you've ever made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that? 

Not sure if this is really a polyamory mistake so much as it is a boundaries issue. A couple years ago, shortly after Falon and I were married, I had JUST started blogging about how non-monogamy worked for us when we became good friends with somebody we had met through our local LGBTQ+ community. Early on in the friendship, the three of us mutually masturbated together, but we were very explicit in expressing that we were not looking for a relationship of any kind and that the three-way ‘bating was just for fun and probably not a regular thing. 

End of story, right?

Not so much. While Fal and I felt that we were very clear, and that our friend had understood, he instead doubled down. Over the months that followed, he ended up inserting himself into our relationship in a lot of invasive ways that on their own looked innocent enough, but when considered all at once were actually quite manipulative. Then one day he tries to show up at our house to talk with Falon, and when they said they weren’t feeling comfortable taking right now (he was being very pushy) he just forced the conversation anyway by professing his love to them. Oh, and me too, but only as an afterthought when Falon made it clear they were NOT interested.

Things went downhill from there really fast as we started to realize the real degree of his intrusiveness, complete with finding out he had been self-sabotaging opportunities for himself because he had this thought in his head that we’d all live up living together.

Anyway, it’s a long story overall but Fal and I learned a lot about what we were and weren’t comfortable with and set even cleared boundaries with others. That whole thing was bad enough that it almost turned us off from non-monogamy and polyamory altogether though. Luckily, we worked through it because several months after that gong show things started up with Kate, which has been amazing!

8. What self-identities are important to you? How do you feel like polyamory intersects with or affects those identities?

I am a fat, queer, non-binary, loud, foul-mouthed sex blogger with hairy tits, a girl cock, and a full-on fetish for actively subverting social roles and expectations… so of course I’m also polyamorous haha. Seriously though, over the last several years I’ve radically transformed myself as a person, to better reflect who I’ve always been but didn’t feel safe or confident being until my late twenties. I had to, because if I didn’t I was on the fast track to self-destruction [but that’s another story entirely]. 

Now, for the first time ever, I feel empowered to live my life as my authentic self and it turns out that a big part of that has included being polyamorous. Monogamy, at least in how it exists in our culture, has always felt incredibly restrictive, uncomfortable, and toxic to me personally; whereas falling in love with Falon and Kate, opening myself up to them both and forming our queer little polycule, has felt like the most natural thing in the world to me since I came out as queer and trans.

(Bonus: Do you have any groups, projects, websites, blogs, etc. that you are involved with that you would like to promote?)

You can find the vast majority of my work on my blog at www.mxnillin.com. One of the most popular features there is "Mx Nillin Fucks", a blog post series in which I stick my girl cock in a wide variety of inanimate objects, mostly foods so far,  as makeshift masturbation sleeves and write about how good or bad it is. This year is themed "Back to Basics" and has focused on classic masturbation items (banana peels, socks, DIY penetrables, melons, etc.). Outside of this you can also find me regularly participating in #SexEdPornReviews tweets for The Crash Pad Series.

---

Support Inclusive Polyamorous Representation at  https://www.patreon.com/PolyRoleModels

[tricks-up-my-sleeve]

((okay so spoilers for s8 ep 18 aka on the road to friendship under the cut w/ a bunch of spoiler tags just in case))

So uhhh this episode was everything I wanted? A lot of it’s subtle things, but, I’m ghkjlhgfd I’m not crying you are. I don’t do horse analysis or reviews or anything like that I grew tired of those types of things ages ago bc it personally gets to a point where it sucks out the fun for me but I’m just gonna make bullet points of all of my thoughts. Mainly involving Trixie and how this episode ties into my portrayal of her. Probably others too, though.

The little magic show at the beginning? Wonderful. I love these two performing together.. and together in general. Twi & Caddy even agree on how they’re such a good duo.

Speaking of which, Twi complimenting Trixie with a huge smile? HERE. FOR. IT.

Flurry Heart watching the show was adorable. Also the inclusion of Granny Smith was of course great.

“Doing a show with you is almost as much fun as counseling students at Twilight’s school.” Almost? I’m disappointed. It’s not the first time I’ll be disappointed in Glim this episode, but we’ll get there. She’s still loved.. but it gets rough.

Loved how Hoo’far called Trixie “Miss Powerful” and her reaction to it. Just cute and silly.

TRIXIE’S. LOVE. FOR. HER. WAGON. I didn’t expect this to be a big plot point in the ep or really ever brought up, but I was so thrilled because that’s always been a small part of my Trixie. She loves her wagon. It may be small and cramped (and also, it apparently has a pretty fucked up doorknob) but it has sentimental value. It means a lot to her. I loved this so much. Not once did she stop and consider trading it for something that a lot would look at and assume was superior.

Moonwalking Trixie.

Trixie bringing up how traveling gets pretty lonely a few times in this ep. Pretty much something that’s easy to guess or assume, but that’s also something my Trixie hasn’t been too shy of admitting, either.

Trixie!!! Levitating!!! Herself!!! She obviously learned that from Starlight. Although we didn’t see it much, I’m so fucking thrilled that we see that Trixie’s been improving her magic. An issue I had with To Change A Changeling (which is just a nitpick) is that they really don’t bring that up. Personally, ever since All Bottled Up, I’ve definitely been convinced that Trixie actually has strong potential for magic, given the right teacher. Glim Glam succeeds there. I could go more into detail to why I think this is but I’ll spare you.

Trixie on the couch in Starlight’s office. I don’t even have to say anything. Just perfect.

I love how Trixie painstakingly made room for the both of them in the wagon. To it’s credit, looking at it paused, it at least isn’t as small on the inside as it is the outside. It has an entire cannon in there. It seemed like she set up two beds for them? Perhaps at least one of them was makeshift? It’s hard to tell, since Star brought stuff and then she set up hammocks. It did look slightly cozier in there before the extra luggage, though. What I guess I’m getting at, is that although it’s a tight squeeze, it’s good to see that it can at least fit two ponies, although it’s not entirely ideal. 

Seeing the inside of the wagon’s been a thing I’ve wanted for ages. I could sit and look at every little thing in there and just smile for a while. Super cute.

Trixie really is sweet and considerate, you know. Seriously. Asking if Starlight is sure she doesn’t want to ride instead of walking with her, and giving her more than one chance to back out on the trip if she wants to.

THE SONG. Tell me I’m biased, I don’t care. This is my favorite horse song. I’ve waited patiently for pony Trix to sing... and it’s just.. all so fucking cute. Too much to take in.

More of Trixie’s magic shown in her shielding Starlight. Love it.

“For untold seasons yet to come, our friendship will be here!” “For nine, at least.” FUCKING. WOW. That’s clever but it also hurt my heart. Especially since my favorite friendship duo has only known each other for three of those seasons thus far, and ultimately it’ll only be four. Too soon, Glimmy.

Trixie talking about how she learned the hard way about life on the road and saving bits and all that. I like that. It shows her more mature side, and that she’s a little street smart from experience. Usually she’s kinda shown as less mature than Starlight, and this episode shows the flip side, which I really like.

I love how she’s adamant on buying hay cakes (Haycakes? They’ve used the word pancake before, though. What’s the difference?) from her preferred stand. Like.. me too, Trix. Clearly there’s a higher quality in the line that’s actually got ponies in it.

This is where Trixie and Starlight really start to argue like a married couple. Here I thought Applejack and Rainbow Dash took the prize for that. This is so domestic tho.

The first argument, at least, is short lived. I really liked that. Trixie sighs, presumably not wanting to push farther to where she hurts Starlight’s feelings. Love how she says “No, of course not.” and continues to apologize for getting snippy. She’s really improved on being.. to put it lightly, less bitchy. It’s what I love about watching her, and while To Change A Changeling was hilarious, that was my other nitpick. She had an attitude almost the entire time.. but it was funny, and I wouldn’t go as far as to call it OOC, so I wasn’t mad. The reason Trixie appeals to me so much is that she’s definitely a much nicer pony, but she’s still her. She hasn’t seemingly changed overnight from the first time we saw her, but she’s definitely made an effort. She’s quite the sweetheart when she wants to be.

I love how Trixie states that it’s taken her years to collect all of her magical items. I just think it’s neat. Also, rightfully getting offended when her stuff is called junk.

Coward Trixie returns. This is definitely me looking too deep into it but personally I’d like to think that yeah, after the Ursa event, I’d be scared of animals outside, too.

Starlight snoring and Trixie outright performing in her sleep. Lmfao. I’ve said this like fifteen times already about other things but I love it.

I relate to these tired and grumpy girls, but even I would have made sure to save some food / juice for my pal. Well.. maybe the juice was definitely out of spite. Wish I could scold her, but I would’ve done the same thing.

The grouchy magic show hurt me to watch. It was still funny though. Again, definitely arguing like a married couple. Two tired, angry friends trying to work together is just never gonna turn out right.

I love their voices in the “Practice makes perfect.” “Not today it didn’t.” exchange. So sassy. So higher pitched. Those faces, too. Lol.

Starlight throwing all of Trixie’s shit out followed by Trix yelling “You can HAVE IT ALL!” Oof. Almost like I’m watching a breakup right before my very eyes. Also the way she runs off. These poor hopeless gays.

STARLIGHT GLIMMER CONFIRMED WORST GIRLFRIEND. I’mjustkidding. Naturally I saw this coming from a mile away, but still. Wow. Ouch. I do like though how it seems to be consistent that she can be defensive of her bad decisions. Not really realizing that what she’s doing is wrong.

TRIXIE FREAKING OUT, THEN BEING BROUGHT TO TEARS BECAUSE STARLIGHT TRADED HER WAGON. This hurt me more than you could imagine, but what hurt me even more is that Starlight didn’t even flinch, and was completely insensitive about it for a while. Yikes. I already went into how much I love Trixie’s attachment to her wagon, but this killed me.

Also, pretty sure that selling or trading somebody else’s stuff is illegal, Star. Trixie shouldn’t have beef with Hoo’far. She should just be planning a lawsuit against Glimmer instead.

Am I just crazy or stupid? When Trixie tells Starlight that at least the wagon wouldn’t have traded her away, I was like, yEAH, you’re valid. Tell her. It made total sense to me. Then Starlight just responds with “That’s ridiculous.” Like?? It wasn’t to me? I sound silly now bc I get the joke, it’s an inanimate object, but what I’m trying to get at is that Trixie was pretty much trying to say that if Starlight really was her best friend she wouldn’t have done that.

I love how Trixie doesn’t accept the flattery from Hoo’far like she normally would bc she’s real pissed. To be fair, though, it’s really not his fault. I mean.. okay, a little, considering he should have known that it didn’t belong to Starlight, and that the trade needed to be given the okay by Trixie. He’s not a bad guy, though.

TRIXIE LYING IN FRONT OF THE CART FOR HOURS BC NO WAY IN HELL IS SHE LETTING THIS GUY TAKE IT. AMAZING. Give it up for his patience, too.

Starlight finds out that you win some and you lose some with the bigger caravan. Also, I love how she didn’t realize how fucked up stuff was when she was with Trixie and having a good time. Her regret sinking in seems about right. You can see her start to miss her.

“Sometimes travelling together is hard.” “But you reminded us that you can also make it fun!” Definite lesson that these two needed. Obviously Starlight was breaking before hearing that, but those big sad eyes she gets after. Regret.

“What are you two doing?” “Taking a stand! By lying down!” Lmao. Never change, Trixie.

“Best friends who share a deep bond but weren’t prepared for the emotional challenges of traveling.” Oh, definitely. Really feel like their first trip should have been a short one. Possibly with more planning ahead of time.

Best. Friendship. Chant.

“Only true friends would be willing to act so ridiculous for one another.” Aww. True.

“At a certain point, I don’t even like travelling with myself.” Line I really liked. Also Starlight saying that it’s harder than she thought.

Despite their exchange about knowing not to do it again, eh, still not wanting to completely rule out the thought of them travelling together in the future. Like I said, with more precautions taken, pretty sure they could’ve been just fine. Mainly reserving a room at an inn, since the big issue really just seemed to be them getting crabby sleeping in the wagon. Would’ve preferred it if it kinda gave that lesson and had Trixie say that they’ll know how to handle it next time, with both of them saying yeah, but let’s not make that anytime soon.

Trixie and Starlight almost killed an old man.

That’s it, if anyone even read through all of that. Can’t really say much more. This may or may not be my favorite Trixie episode. I’ll have to give it some time, but I loved almost everything about it. (No Second Prances is my current favorite I suppose, due to it also validating a lot of how I viewed Trixie at the time, and still do.)

Like I said.. it’s just really refreshing to see her take on a more mature stance than Starlight for the most part, since other episodes usually show the exact opposite. Not that Starlight is incredibly mature in her own right, but she does usually take that role when it comes to her dynamic with Trixie. I love any chance we get to see Trixie, but in episodes like To Change A Changeling, sometimes I worry that they don’t give her enough credit. She’s not a complete incompetent bitch, and to be fair, I don’t think she ever really has been. I won’t go into how I personally view her flaws, though. Guess that could be another post.

Until next time. Hopefully there is another next time. Starlight’s line in the song about nine seasons still has me all fucked up and I need help. Maybe one day I could go back and do these for past Trix episodes.

[california-grethan]

Under False Pretenses - Hidden Identity // {G. Dolan}

Description: As a fangirl, there was nothing that hurt more than knowing you might not ever meet those you idolize. That was probably the most difficult aspect of the entire thing: nights were often spent wishing that you could be in their life, having the ability to text or call them whenever. But, no. The harsh reality was that they didn’t know of your existence, yet you continued to fangirl and support them on a website that they don't even visit. Why? Well, they were your happiness. There was also nothing that you loved more than being able to escape to this website, bonding with others that felt the same way as you. It was your happy place, your safe haven; the one place that you could shamelessly showcase your love for the two boys that made you happy. 

Warning(s): there’s really nothing I can think of🙃

Requested: [yeahhh] // [nopeee]

Word Count: [2,514]

masterlist // blurb nights // come talk to me!

His P.O.V

I’m stuck in bed, sick with a ridiculously high fever. I feel absolutely miserable, and it’s made worse by the fact that we have to skip a Tuesday because I’m too sick to film. I hated this entire situation. I hated being sick. I hated being stuck in bed. But most importantly, I hated letting our fans down. I couldn’t help but feel like it; they were our entire world. Ethan and I would be nothing without them; they’re responsible for the successes that we’ve been blessed with.

I wish I could talk to each and every single one of them, so I could tell them how much they mean to me. It was hard, though. There were so many of them and they were all over the world. Social media made connecting with them feasible, but it was hard to be able to give them all the recognition they deserve.

They were all such incredible people who continue to blow my mind every single day. So many of them were such creative human beings: making edits, drawing incredible portraits of us, writing about us. Our fans were definitely the best and I hoped, everyday, that every single one of them knew it.

I was cocooned in blanket, shivering despite the fact that I was emitting so much heat. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself as I blew my nose, adding yet another tissue to the massive pile on the floor next to my bed. Hearing the sound of my door creak open, I turn my head to the door, waiting for Ethan to come into the room.

He gave me a pitying smile, “Hey, bro. How’re you feeling?’

I coughed, groaning because it hurt. “Like absolute shit, but I’d feel better if you cuddled with me,” I mumbled jokingly.

Ethan stayed standing by the door, no doubt wanting to stay away so he wouldn’t catch what I was sick with. He grimaced at my words, “Bro, what?”

Giving him a shit-eating grin, I repeated myself, “I feel like absolute shit, but I’d feel better if you cuddled with me.”

He rolled his eyes at me, “Dude, whatever. Listen, I’m gonna head out for a little bit because Bryant wants to get the shoot with the Ducati done. Is that good? Or do you seriously need me to stay home with you?”

I shook my head. “No, go ahead. I’ll be fine. I’ll probably just stay in bed all day,” I managed to get out, my voice sounding hoarse.

“Alright, do you want me to pick up any food on my way home?”

“Could you buy some soup? Oh, and medicine. We don’t have any.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you later. Remember to keep hydrated.” He shut the door behind him, leaving me in the quiet of my room. I turned back to the TV, grimacing because of how loud it was. I reached for the remote, turning it down as it did nothing to soothe my pounding headache.

I sighed dejectedly, not knowing what to do with myself. Grabbing my phone and unplugging it from its charger, I unlock it. I turned the brightness all the way down, the screen far too bright for my liking. Mindlessly scrolling through social media, I like and retweet posts I stumble upon. Social media was a goddamn black hole, one post leads me to another and before I know it, I’m looking through Tumblr, reading fanfiction about Ethan and I.

Whenever I found myself on this app, I end up going through blogs for hours. Every single fan that ran a blog was so dedicated; it was absolutely mind-blowing. This time, a certain blog catches my eye because of a post that was written about me, more specifically, about my laugh.

---

I want you to close your eyes for a second and do me one favor. I want you to imagine the most wonderful sound that you can think of: a favorite song, the sound of the waves crashing against the ocean, the crunch of fallen leaves as you walk on them, it can be anything.

…

God. His laugh was truly mellifluous. It was the best sound I’ve had the pleasure to hear, both through a speaker and in real life. It was simply angelic, which made sense because he was an angel sent from above, I was sure of it.

There was so much about it that I absolutely adored; it wasn’t just the sound itself, but rather everything associated with it: from the way his face would scrunch up as he did so, to the way his arms would curl into his body during the process.

…

His laughter was infectious. I couldn’t help but to giggle to myself whenever the sound floated through the air. It was one of those sounds that had the power to make a person happy because it was laced with happiness. What person can’t help but to be happy in the presence of happiness?

…

His eyes were the first to indicate that laughter was about to come. There would be a light in them that screamed excitement. Then, the apples of cheeks became more prominent as his lips curled into a giant grin, his rows of perfect white teeth showing. Lastly, he would throw his head back: this was the best sight because it indicated that it was a genuine laugh. But there was nothing that made me smile even wider than when the sound died out, quickly becoming a wheeze rather than a laugh. This told me truly how funny or entertaining he had found whatever it was that had him laughing.

With that said, was the sound you were thinking of at the beginning still the best sound? Or have I managed to convince you otherwise?

---

I couldn’t help but to simply stare at the screen of my phone when I finished reading. Astounded by the fact that someone could write something so beautiful about my laugh. There was nothing remotely special about it, but whoever wrote it made it sound as if there was. Intrigued by their writing, I click on their blog, trying to learn more about them.

It didn’t take me long to find out that the owner of the blog was a girl. Y/N. After reading other things that she’s posted, her talent for writing was so obvious to me. It was mind blowing. I scroll further down her blog, laughing periodically at some of the things she’s posted. She intrigued me, whoever she was. There was just something about her that made me want to find out more.

Without thinking twice, I click on the button that says “Come Talk to Me:)” and begin typing.

Hi! I just found your blog and I wanted to tell you that everything you’ve written is incredible!

- B. D.💜

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I let my bag drop from my hand, hitting the floor with a ‘thud’. I was absolutely exhausted, my classes for the day sucking up all my energy. Groaning, I collapse onto my bed, hissing in pain when I realize I landed on my laptop.

“Ah, shit. Please don’t be be broken,” I beg, speaking to the inanimate object as if it had a say in whether or not my weight caused it damaged.

I flip over to the other side of my bed, allowing me to grab my laptop from underneath me. Setting it on my lap, I scan it for any possible damage, letting out a breath of relief when I saw that it was perfectly fine.

“Oh, thank God,” I mumble to myself.

Since I already had my laptop out, I decide to log into Tumblr. I immediately smile when the twins pop up on my dash. Scrolling through, I like and reblog posts of the blogs I followed. This was my getaway. No matter how stressed out or tired I was, this website seemed to be able to make me feel better instantly. I don’t know exactly what it was. Maybe it was that when I’m on here, I’m surrounded by others that share my love for the boys. Maybe because it provided me with a creative outlet, a place that gave me the opportunity to share my writing. Or maybe, it was because it was the one place that I never felt judged; everyone in the fandom is so kind and welcoming that I always felt loved, even if none of us had never met.

My eyes lit up when I saw a little ‘1’ pop up next to the icon for my ask box. Clicking on it, I see that someone left an anonymous ask. A smile found its way onto my face as I read it.

Hi! I just found your blog and I wanted to tell you that everything you’ve written is incredible!

- B. D.💜

My heart swelled at the kind words. I clicked onto the ask, quickly typing out a response.

Hey lovely! Thank you so much for taking the time for reading my work and dropping by my asks! Hope you have a great day☺️

I run my blog and write because it makes me happy. I love being part of a fandom and forming friendships with people that share my interests. I choose to write because it’s something that I enjoy and it’s a creative outlet for me. I don’t post anything on my blog with the hopes that I get recognition, it’s simply a bonus of it all. To know that others find enjoyment in the content I create means the world to me and makes me want to share even more of my writing. To others, this entire thing may seem ridiculous, but to me, it’s my one true source of happiness.

I reposition myself on my bed, trying to find a more comfortable way to sit. I click onto a new tab, opening Google Docs and trying to start a new piece so I can finally get something posted. For far too long, I stare at the blank document, the blinking cursor taunting me. Every time I start to write something, I end up hating it, rushing to delete everything I’ve managed to type. My eyebrows furrowed, growing frustrated at the lack of progress that I’ve made so far.

Just as I’m about to admit defeat for the day, an idea immediately pops into my head. I start to type furiously, terrified that my inspiration would leave me. A smile plays on my lips as I add more and more words to the document, falling into a comfortable groove.

I sit back when I finally finish, happy with what I’ve written. Scrolling to the very top of the page, I start reading, looking for mistakes I’ve made and parts that were awkward and needed to be changed. It probably took me longer to edit and revise than it took me to actually write the piece, but it was worth it. There was nothing that brought me more satisfaction than finishing what I’ve written and knowing that I made it the best I possibly could. Knowing that if I spend anymore time criticizing my writing, it would never get posted, I don’t give it anymore thought and post on my blog.

Logging off Tumblr, I shut the lid of my laptop and climb off my bed. I stretch, trying to gain feeling in my limbs before I make my way downstairs to the kitchen in search for some food.

His P.O.V

I look over to my nightstand when I hear my phone vibrate. Groaning, I lean over to pick it up, wanting to see what notification popped up this time. A smile formed on my lips when I saw that it was from the Tumblr app. I couldn’t help but get a little excited when I read that she had posted something new. I click onto the notification, bringing up her newest post.

---

The bright rays of sunlight made their way past the curtains, interrupting your deep slumber. While stretching your arms above your head, you look to your right, your vision only to be met with a gorgeous boy, his skin still retaining its sun-kissed color despite it already being a month into autumn.

You turned your body over, trying your best not to wake the piece of art that rested at your side. your eyes raked down his sleeping figure, admiring the beauty of the human that you were blessed to call yours.

…

His face was calm, peaceful, and younger. Making it seem as if sleep was his only true getaway from the stress of his life. It allowed him to leave everything behind, to forget everything that he had to get done, although it was only for a few hours.

His bleached hair became frizzy in his slumber and was pointing every which way, enticing you to run your fingers through the gorgeous locks. But you resisted once again, not wanting to disturb his peaceful sleep.

The sunlight shifted, now hitting the sleeping figure next to you. The golden glow highlighted his tanned skin, making him look even more like an angel, like God’s gift to this earth.

…

His body turned to face you, his eyes were fully open, his hazel orbs were bright, the sunlight that was hitting him highlighting the greenness of them. His lips contorted to a sleepy smile, making your heart swell even more at the man.

You brought your left hand up to grasp the side of his face gently, your palm coming in contact with the rough scruff that he had managed to grow in the past two weeks due to his laziness to shave. A small smile rested on your face as you caressed his gorgeous face.

He leaned into your grasp as he laughed at your words, his laugh even more magical than his morning voice. “I would do the same thing if I were to wake up before you, just stare and admire at the beauty that I get to call my girlfriend,” his voice was just a whisper, making his words sound like a secret that could only be said between the two of you.

…

“Ok, fine, only because you’re cute.” His chest was pressed up against your back, his hand resting on your slim waist, and his arm stretched above your head to reach for the spice. His long, nimble fingers wrapped around the container and he backed away from your body. You turned to face him, staring at his muscular physique, taking in the angelic figure that you were lucky enough to call your boyfriend.

---

I was amazed yet again. I couldn’t comprehend how someone strings words along the way she did. Hell, I can barely speak the language sometimes. Without thinking twice, I find myself in her asks again, but I stop myself. Nervously, I decide to ditch the idea of leaving her another anonymous ask, messaging her directly instead.

Hey, I’m Bailey...

A/N: I wanna say a big thank you to @tidsoptlmist, @spiffydolan @sunflower-dolans, @graysearring, @spongebobrose, @damndolanz, and @maryneedsadamntish for letting me bother them and have them give me feedback! This is a series that I’m very excited to be writing and I hope you guys enjoy it! 

[youdecode]

How to reduce stress and tension for happiness

Clumsy Mr. Bean, a child in a man’s body, had no one but Teddy as his best friend, whom he takes to the pet shows, holidays, doctor — and what not!

They even sleep and read a bedtime story together. Isn’t it an ideal relationship with a button-eyed, knitted-brown teddy with sausage-shaped limbs? Yeah, simply adorable.

Not only movies thrust unique themes of endearing relationship with toys, but so does reality. They’re more than props.

More than just a prize which a hero wins to impress a heroine. What are they, then? They are comfort, joy, and companion to many and, for me, a necessity.

I have been attached to stuffed toys forever — even before I knew I needed them. I can still spark up a memory of myself as a little girl in a dress, with a lollipop in the mouth, squishing a giant teddy beneath my shoulder.

Over time, my huge white teddy turned into my necessity.

I think we all, as a child, hold a hidden urge to take care of something smaller than us.

When the world is out there, commanding us to follow the rules, we find ourselves in authority when catering to these stuffed toys.

We love to be their guardian, and interestingly, when we grow up, they become our guardians instead, helping us cope with several emotions.

They cheer every age group, not just kids.

According to a study, about 40% of adults still sleep with stuffed animals–or at least have them kept somewhere safe.

Questioning why? The 40% appreciate the more significant role a stuffed animal plays in shaping one’s life.

From teaching development skills to equipping one emotionally, stuffed animals can do it all.

Scientific research has backed how this cuddling companion can fulfill two vital adulthood needs: comfort and safety.

Many consider themselves guilty of sleeping with furry animals — they shouldn’t.

As Prof Bruce Hood of the University of Bristol says, it is relatively acceptable.

His research on our attachment to childhood toys explored how one of every three people sleep with the teddies and more women, as they’re more socially acceptable for it.

Everyone has different reasons for bonding with stuffed toys, but they all tie back to gain emotional stability.

Let’s dive into what stuffed toys generally offer and why I love to get many.

How to reduce stress and tension with A Stuffed Toy

  1. Golden Twilight of Healing

Studies suggest that nearly 50% of US adults experience varying degrees of mental health disorders — like depression or anxiety.

During such conditions, soothing comfort from the stuffed toys can offer quicker healing.

Dr. Aniko Dunn suggests:

“…stuffed animals are recommended in psychotherapy and for people who have PTSD, bipolar and other mental disorders.”

I had not pondered earlier, but the very logic resides in why stuffed animals are sold in hospital gift shops.

Promising faster recovery through comfort, squishy toys plant value for every individual — irrespective of age.

But what’s the science of such warmth? Johnson, the owner of a comfort cub, explains rolling stones.

“There is science behind holding a weighted object. When you hold the cub against your chest, it elicits the same physical response as getting a hug. Your brain releases the happy hormones of dopamine and serotonin, which causes your heart rate to decrease, your breathing to slow down, and gives your body an overall feeling of calm and peace.”

Adding my experience, stuffed toys can aid mental sufferings, like coping with a loss.

After my father’s demise, I felt a piece missing within me. The part is still missing. But the toy’s comfort filled my depressed nights.

I remember clinging to a white teddy, which breath comfort in my trauma.

Surrounded by people did not help me. Interestingly, their presence did not last long either.

Relatives and friends were around me for three days. After that? Just silence — a deep silence all around. I admit Teddy was silent.

But yet, I could feel a strange comfort with the silence we shared.

Sleeping in those monstrous nights, when nightmares did not forget to knock, teddy served as my guardian, a protector which I once, as a child, used to be — simply, a classic example of role play.

What I did about it and you can too::

To overcome grief, I loved the idea of memory bears where a stuffed animal is sewn with the deceased’s clothes, offering a more profound connection and deeper comfort.

  2. Lift Loneliness Trap

As the world is becoming a global village, are we becoming more connected?

On a surface: yes. Deep down: no. We are getting lonelier. Everyone leaves, except the stuffed toys.

Well, Therapist Margaret Van Ackeren tells well and good,

“In most instances, adults sleep with childhood stuffed animals because it brings them a sense of security and reduces negative feelings, such as loneliness and anxiety.” The tools can provide calmness and a sense of not being alone — much like they might have for you when you were little.

I realized stuffed animals will never break up or develop any misunderstanding, never leaving me all alone.

It is common to see people who get through their tough days in bed while hugging a squishy toy.

It helps to calm down — of course, depending on the level of gravity of the matter, one might need other therapies further assistance, but this first step helps.

What I did about it and you can too::

Whenever I encounter a bad day at work, I recall that a squishy toy is there for me at home waiting to be hugged and ready to calm down my nerves.

I know they cannot fully take the social role and replace humans but surely help ease alienation and loneliness in the time of my need.

  3. Feed Sentimental Value

Professor Hood tells guardian, we have our sentiments attached to these stuffed toys, and it is customary to cherish such childish attachments. He says,

“It’s about having a sentimental attachment to things,”

This fact aids us to present stuffed toys as a gift. The delicate gift signifies friendship.

Capable of spreading smiles around the world, stuffed animals top the chart of most appreciated gifts.

I determined the significance of cuddling soft stuffed toys from their wide propagation during Valentine’s days and other gifts festive — they are indeed the center of attention.

I can vouch you will never forget someone who gives you stuff toys, even if the other does!

I clearly remember receiving a pink stuffed doll from a boy’s mom.

Before you develop different ideas, let me clear — it was back in third grade.

I still cherish that gift because it sent me a message of sweetness.

My classmate has probably forgotten about me, but I have not — credits to the pink doll.

What I did about it and you can too:

I drilled into my head that stuffed toys are ideal gifts, as they make others feel loved and valued.

By gifting the stuff toys to the loved ones, I send the message of sweetness across, and gift stuffed-toys to sparkle smiles.

  4. Thrive With a Tender Touch

I love these comforting ones because they watch my favorite movies and read my favorite books with me— they are like a pet without maintenance to those who cannot afford to live with one.

I have my teddy by my side, especially when watching horror movies. I need its touch and company, especially!

Interestingly, there is research that suggests why even holding the stuffed toys offer calmness.

When we are a kid or adult, cuddle or touch something soft, we release oxytocin, a hormone that makes us feel soothed and calm.

So, simply feel their softness and function calmly whenever needed.

What I did about it and you can too:

I am more mindful of the oxytocin hormone, and release it often by cuddling anything soft, like cushions, preferably a teddy bear.

  5. Sweep Self-esteem Issues

Interestingly, researchers at VU University Amsterdam have shown an impressive finding suggesting how soft toys affect people with low self-esteem, helping them alleviate stress regarding death. In Psychological science, Koole states:

“Our findings show that even touching an inanimate object — such as a teddy bear — can soothe existential fears. Interpersonal touch is such a powerful mechanism that even objects that simulate touch by another person may help to instill in people a sense of existential significance.”

What I did about it and you can too:

Existential concerns bothered me but by touching a stuffed toy I reduce ethnocentrism — a defensive reaction against death reminders.

  6. Tap Therapeutics

Interestingly, they are as therapeutic as living animals. Rose M. Barlow of the Department of Psychology at Boise State University in Idaho inquired whether living animals are equally therapeutic as stuffed ones by surveying female college students with dissociative identity disorder (DID). She concluded women with high dissociation developed a stronger attachment to stuffed animals than live.

“Animals, live or stuffed, can aid therapy for both children and adults by providing a way to experience and express emotions, a feeling of unconditional support, and grounding,” Barlow expands in her research.

What I did about it and and you can too:

Several reasons do not allow me get a pet for myself, thus I go for a stuffed toy instead. To me it provides similar therapeutic benefits as research expounds above .

  7. Purge Stress

Heard of several studies suggesting how animals like cats and dogs reduce cortisol — a stress hormone? Probably.

But you might not have heard how touching stuffed reduces your cortisol levels in the same way.

What I did about it and you can too:

I release exam stress and homesickness through the company of stuffed toys. Whenever stress alarms me, I just touch a soft animal.

  Life made me taste several emotions. I liked some. Hated the rest.

To cope with mixed circumstances, I needed someone. Disagreeing with the notion that you have to handle all the adversity alone, I can state stuffed toys never left me all by myself.

Yes, Unlike people, stuffed toys will never leave you — a fact impossible to state for any human substitute.

Instead of judging and laughing at you, stuffed animals will always sit beside you, ever ready to get cuddled.

No complaints and no demands.

Remember, you’re not delusional if you love the comfort of stuffed animals.

If you have not yet experienced the soothing ability and emotional wellness these animals have to offer, try the magic of this tool yourself.

Society pressure creeping in?

Who deems this attachment as odd? Remember, they’re just a handful of unconcerned people. Who comment, not comfort.

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[adoraami97]

A Night to Remember

Part 1

“Ah I’m so excited! I can’t believe we’re doing another Moonlight Conjuring tonight” Luz exclaimed with her usual abundance of energy. The young witch in training did a twirl at the thought of another Conjuring with her best friends.

“Me too! But uh, let’s try not to animate the Owl House this time” Willow chipped in with a blush. The last time the trio of witches, Luz, Willow, and Gus had gotten together to perform a Moonlight Conjuring they had managed to accidentally possess the house demon, Hooty, and brought Luz’s home to life.

“Oh don’t worry about it, I’m sure after a year of proper witch training, and actually learning the incantation, there won’t be any trouble animating our actual target this time.” Gus had an abundance of confidence in the trio of friends, believing that after a year of learning and practicing witchcraft that there was no way Luz wouldn’t be able to focus her magic this time.

Just as the three of them were discussing the evening’s plans, snacks, what to animate, Luz noticed a lone witch strolling towards them.

“AH! Amity!! Hey Amity! Come over here!!” Luz waved with excitement at the brilliant green-haired witch, a hint of something more than her usual enthusiasm peeped through her cheerful tone. Gus and Willow looked at each other and exchanged a quick smirk, they knew more than either Luz or Amity did about the budding relationship between the two witches.

“O-oh hi Luz! How are you? You seem really excited about something, is something happening? Wow I lov-I MEAN never mind, I’ve been talking for too long, what’s up?” Amity, the top student at Hexside and normally the most composed person in the group found herself tripping over her words unable to form a proper sentence.

“Oh for titan’s sake Amity!” she thought to herself trying to regain her composure “If you turn into a blushing and stuttering mess every time you see Luz she’ll start to think something is wrong with you!”

Luz didn’t seem to notice or mind very much, she found it endearing when Amity got this way around her, though she wasn’t quite sure why it happened.

“Hiya there partner! Are you going to join us for tonight’s Moonlight Conjuring? We’re hoping it’ll go smoother than last year’s, it’d be much less stressful for us to not accidentally possess Hooty.”

“‘Howdy partner’??” Luz did a mental face-palm. “Come on Noceda that was so lame, if you say stuff like that every time you see this cutie pie she’s going to think you’re too weird!”

“Oh a Moonlight Conjuring? With you? Sitting next to you to combine powers to animate an object?? Holding your hand???” Amity felt her face starting to warm, she knows she turns a bright pink every time she thinks about anything that might bring her to some kind of intimacy with Luz, she starts focusing on her breathing to help her calm down.

“Of course, I’d enjoy that. Doing the Conjuring that is!! Nothing more!” Her face started to warm again, realizing she was coming dangerously close to admitting her feelings to the witch from the human world.

“Okay Luz, here’s your chance, you’re all set up to knock this out of the park” Luz was hyping herself to make a casual and hopefully smooth move.

“Awe come on Blight, you’re not excited to hold my hand? I mean we did have an entire moon-lit dance together at Grom” 

“I-well I uh… I gotta go!” Amity spat out the words as she turned around and scurried briskly away to her next class, going the wrong direction.

“Oh… Shoot. I want to hold her hand…” Luz said, under her breath a tinge of pain coming through as she contemplated what she did wrong.

“Hm? What was that Luz?” Willow said mischievously eyeing Luz, well aware of her true feelings towards Amity.

“Oh! Uuuuhhhhh…. I said I wanted toooo… hold her books! Yeah that was it, I wanted to hold her books” Luz described nervously with an uncharacteristic lack of confidence, She knew she had done a poor job covering up but Gus seemed at least convinced, and she hoped he could talk Willow in to believing her.

“Anyway, I’ll see you guys tonight after class! Have a good day pals” and with that, she strolled as nonchalantly as she could to her next class, feeling her face grow warmer as she thought of her convo with Amity and how she could tell the young girl about her feelings.

Part 2: Amity

“Okay Amity, you can do this. It’s just a conjuring, it’s nothing amazing. Although, this could be a great opportunity to tell Luz… no! What am I thinking? It’s too soon, what if she doesn’t like girls? I don’t know if that’s weird for humans or not, or worse, what if she doesn’t like me? How could I handle the rejection? Ugh! It’s okay, just have a good time tonight and stay calm.”

As Amity approached the door to the mysterious lair of Eda the Owl Lady, known as the Owl House, she could feel her cheeks growing hot and flushed. They seemed to glow against the backdrop of the purple sky as the sun sunk below the horizon. By focusing on her breathing and taking the time to clear her head, she managed to get her rosy complexion back to its normal porcelain mien before finishing the last few steps of the path.

Caught up in getting herself composed she had completely missed the demon of the Owl House.

“HOOT HOOT AMITY!! You looked awfully pink there, are you feeling okay? Were you thinking about something emmbbaaarrraaassiiinnngggg? You can tell me of course hoot hoot. I’m great at keeping secrets” Hooty pressed his tubular face against hers. He was quite overbearing and loved to snoop. Amity felt her cheeks flushing again but this time not with spectacled embarrassment.

“Hooty, do you remember the last time you touched me?” she growled, eyeing Hooty with a glare that could slay a dragon.

“Okay yeesh I get it, hoot.” Hooty dejected as he retracted back into the front door of the Owl House.

Luz was pacing back and forth in front of the couch in the living room of the Owl House, muttering to herself as Gus and Willow watched with worried expressions.

Part 2: Luz

“Oh man when is she going to get here? Should I pull her aside and tell her tonight? If I do, should I do it before, or after the conjuring? Is it even okay for girls to like each other here? What if everyone thinks I’m weird like they do back in the human realm? What if she doesn’t like me the way I like her??” a million thoughts flew through Luz’s mind as she furrowed her brow and continued pacing, back and forth, back and forth.

Hooty opened the door, and Luz saw her crush. As Amity walked in Luz stopped dead in her tracks, she found herself blushing at Amity’s outfit. A simple ensemble consisting of a t-shirt like dress, what Luz would have described as Vans, and a simple necklace crowned with a purple stone medallion, something akin to amethyst.

“Amity! Oh wow I’m so glad you came tonight, I thought maybe you weren’t going to after we talked at school today. You look great by the way, I mean seriously you just look ready to animate an inanimate object you know?” she barely managed to get her words out cohesively as her cheeks started to turn a warm shade of pink

“Oh, thank you Luz, I.. suppose I know what you mean?” Amity had no idea what Luz was trying to say but understood she meant it as a compliment, and compliments from Luz always made her feel warm and joyous. She had been looking down at the floor as she walked in and as she looked up, her eyes met Luz’s, they locked their gaze for what felt like an eternity but was simply no more than a fleeting second.

As if on queue the owner of the home descended down the stairs with her pet demon in tow. Eda the Owl Lady and King. She shot a knowing glance in the pair’s direction. She couldn’t be certain, but she had enough experience to know a crush when she saw one.

“Okay kids I’m going out for tonight, I need to restock on some supplies for my potion brewing. Try not to animate the house again, and if anything happens or you run into any trouble just give me a call, I’ll have my magic scroll on me and be ready to come back at a moments’ notice, also I’m bringing King with me because I need to keep an eye on his snacking.” With that she scooped the little demon dog into her arms and left the house, magical staff and suspiciously full basket in arm.

“So, who wants to play some games until it’s time to perform the Conjuring?” Luz spoke as soon as Eda left, trying her best to be nonchalant and upbeat as ever, to not reveal anything to Amity.

Part 3

Some time after the conjuring, well into the waning hours of the night the quad of witches were just laying around chatting.

“Oh wow, it’s getting really late, we should probably head home” Willow said checking the time. 

“Yeah, my parents want me home tonight because we’re leaving for vacation in the morning” Gus agreed. It wasn’t true, however. There was no vacation, Willow and Gus had discussed setting up a situation for Luz and Amity to be alone tonight, knowing someone had to push the pair of wistful witches to make a move with each other, otherwise it may never happen.

“O-oh! Are you two sure??? Eda wouldn’t mind you spending the night here and we’ve been having so much fun. Who wants to break up a good party??” Luz stammered thinking quickly, she didn’t want to be alone with Amity. She was afraid of making a mistake if the two were left alone and she really didn’t want to ruin the bond she shared with her best friend.

“No no we have to go. We’ll see you at school on Monday though have a good night Luz!!” Willow waved as she pushed Gus out the door and quickly followed behind, leaving Luz and Amity on their own.

“Oh no oh no oh no! What do I do now? I can’t mess things up, I guess I better say goodbye to Amity for the night too” as Luz was turning to tell her friend goodnight, she noticed Amity had fallen fast asleep. She had been laying across the couch with her feet in Luz’s lap, but Luz hadn’t realized how tired she was.

“Wow, she’s so cute when she’s asleep! Her ears are twitching and even her little snores make my heart flutter!” she knew she could have left Amity laying there, but it felt wrong to not try and wake her up.

“Pst, Amity, hey Amity. Come on sleepyhead wake up” Luz murmured gently as she put her hand on Amity’s shoulder, gently rocking the witch to wake her up.

“Mmm.. aahh… Luz…? Wait. Luz?!” Amity shot up like she had been fired from a canon, her cheeks turning an intense shade of red as she realized what happened.

“Where are Willow and Gus??? How long was I out for?? Oh no I’m so sorry I-I..” her voice trailed off as she realized that she hadn’t moved her feet off Luz’s lap, and as she looked Luz in the face she saw, grief? Pain? Either way the sight of her quickly snapped Amity to composure.

“Luz, are you okay? Did I say something wrong? I’m so sorry..”

“No! No don’t worry Amity, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry I woke you up, Gus and Willow went home. I thought you might want to as well, but you look so tired. Would you like to spend the night here? I’m sure Eda wouldn’t mind, I-I could call and ask her if you’re worried about being a burden” Luz knew she could confess her feelings to Amity tonight, but really she was just worried about keeping her friend as safe as possible. Her intentions were pure, and she felt her cheeks getting warmer.

“Oh Luz thank you, that’s such a kind thought. But I don’t have any pajamas here, and do you have space where I can sleep?” Amity of course knew the answer, as she was currently laying on the couch, but she hoped Luz was too tired to catch it. 

“Oh well you could sleep on the couch or uh.. You know you could sleep in my bed, not with me of course! But it would probably be a lot more comfortable, and eda has comfy shirts you can wear and I have an extra pair of pj shorts you could borrow..” Luz felt her face growing hotter at the thought of Amity in a cute oversized t-shirt, wearing her pajama shorts.

Amity’s face turned a bright red again, having the exact same thought. And thinking about sleeping in Luz’s bed, surrounded with her warm smell. 

“Oh, well in that case sure. Ask Eda though, if she says ‘no’ I can get my parents to pick me up” this was her last line of defense, though she very obviously hoped Eda would say “yes”.

“Okay, I’ll call her now.” Luz gave Amity a reassuring smile before trotting up the stairs to grab her phone. She took a deep breath then called Eda”

“Hey kid, what’s up? You didn’t bring the house to life without me again did you?” the older witch said with a tone that was as loving as it was teasing.

“No, Eda, listen. This is an emergency. Amity is extremely tired and I don’t think she should walk home, can she spend the night here?” Luz said quietly enough to guarantee that Amity wouldn’t be able to hear it from downstairs.

“Sure thing kid, but uhm, what’s the emergency?” 

“Oh… uh… I guess… there isn’t one per se?” Luz stammered out, thanking the fact 

Eda couldn’t see how red her face was on the other side of the receiver.

“Okay, well since there’s no emergency, have fun! I rolled out a second sleeping bag next to yours in your room. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She hung up with a knowing chuckle, leaving Luz to wonder if Eda knew how she felt about Amity.

“Hey Amity, Eda okayed the sleepover!” then muttering under her breath “and apparently thought this would happen”

“Oh! Good, don’t worry about my parents. I told them and they said as long as I’m back tomorrow there’s no issues” Amity lied, knowing she wouldn’t be able to tell her parents she was spending the night at the Owl House, they would lecture her about the family’s status if they knew and the reprimanding would be endless.

“Great! I mean good, let’s get ready for bed then right? I know you’re exhausted. We can read the new Azura book before we go to sleep!” with that Luz led Amity up the stairs, handing her one of Eda’s shirts and a pair of pyjama shorts.

“Here, you can wear these tonight, I’ll let you change in here and I’ll go back down to the bathroom. See you in a bit!”

Part 4

“Okay, Luz, deep breaths. You’re just having a sleepover with your best friend, who you happen to think is really cute and smoochable. Totally normal, nothing to see here!”

The two witches laid by each other's side, the book suspended by magic and turning the page whenever they had both finished it. They had needed to push their sleeping rolls right against each other so they could both read the words on the pages, making them painfully aware of the other’s presence.

“Wow, I can’t believe Hecate and Azura might be getting together in this book, I mean who would have guessed? They hated each other so much in the first two.” Luz said excitedly, incapable of holding back her excitement. She turned her head to look at Amity and realized that the witch had also been looking at her. In that moment their faces were so close, Luz felt a pull to Amity. Instead, she chuckled nervously and scooted further away on her bed roll.

“What do you think, Ami?” she asked, trying to ease the seemingly awkward tension. Amity only let Luz call her “Ami”, it only felt right when she did it. Not with anyone else.

“I think you’re the most beautiful person in all the Boiling Isles” Amity dreamily said, she shot up. Looking in fear at Luz’s face as she cupped a hand over her mouth.

“Oh my titan! Luz I’m so sorry I can leave now if you want me to, oh no that was so ridiculous of me how could I-” she stopped suddenly. Luz had put her hand on Amity, and as Amity turned to really look at Luz she realized that Luz didn’t look at all angry, and her panic turned to nervous butterflies.

“Did… did you mean that, Amity? Do… you like me?” Luz whispered, barely audible. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard come from the striking witch’s lips.

“I-I did Luz. I’m sorry. I’ve had these feelings for you, for a long time now. I’ve had this feeling that I want to be more than friends with you, that I want to be… a partner for you.” Amity couldn’t peel her gaze away from the wall behind Luz, she knew that if she looked at Luz she wouldn’t be able to finish the thoughts she had, that she would back out and take everything back.

“Oh, Ami... “ Luz started to laugh, the sound of her bubbly laughter startling and confusing Amity.

“What, did you find something I said particularly funny?” her pointed ears had started to glow red at this point from the amount of sheer embarrassment she was feeling.

“No! Not at all! It’s just that I’ve felt the same about you and had no idea how I was going to tell you, or if I even should! I was so worried you wouldn’t like me back and want to stop being friends with me for good. In my world, it’s less common for girls to like each other that way. I got bullied for being bisexual at my old school, and thought it might be the same here” as her laughter turned to a solemn chuckle, Amity wrapped her arms around her in an embrace.

“I’m so sorry to hear that Luz, that’s unacceptable. We don’t bully people for who they love here, but if anyone bullies you at Hexside, you let me know. And they WILL bear my wrath.” She let go of Luz to gently hold her face and look her in the eyes as she spoke.

“Amity, thank you. So, would you… like to be my girlfriend then?” she spoke softly but kept her eye contact, a gentle spark brighter than the luminous orbs she had cast starting to shine in her eyes.

“Yes, I would love that Luz.” Amity found herself breathless, her blushiness suddenly gone but a warm feeling throughout her body had taken its place.

“It’s almost morning, I think we should get to sleep.” Luz chuckled and closed the shutters to the large round circular window on the far wall. As the witches laid down to fall asleep, Luz reached out and grabbed Amity’s hand, gently stroking the back of it with her thumb as the newly found couple drifted off to sleep.

Thanks for reading everyone! This was 100% meant to be a fluff piece, but I have a more serious one in the works right now! Let me know how you liked it <3

[beebosbitchh]

1-65 ;)

holy heck ! thank you sophiw i lov u 🍒

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

i dont understand this question?? like sometimes i doubt my own existence and other times i doubt that i exist to certain ppl? ya?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

2,, normal amount? like good for sleep but pitch black is scaryy but not to the point i need the escape ?? if that makes sense??

3. The person you would never want to meet?

guy fieri, i dont think i need to know if hes actually real ? like is he real and from this dimension or from flavortown (which he has a very scarily detailed description of)?? thats not something i need to know

4. What is your favorite word?

hmm, probably ‘fam’ obviously

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

a willow tree !!!!!!!!!! i just talked to my mom about this :-0

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

ngl but i dont look in the mirror anymore unless its lip syncing along to a song sung by a guy/someone w a deeper voice bc i feel like it suits me better! gotta love coping w dysphoria!

7. What shirt are you wearing?

baseball tee, gay

8. What do you label yourself as?

nb, lesbian, fool

9. Bright room or dark room?

dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

slepe

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

10-11 when i was in 5th grade. i still only had two friends but i was way more extroverted and everything was so carefree and i was very invested in adventure time and art. i think that was the most of a childhood i got? i honestly did not do much as a kid and i wish i had..

12. Who told you they loved you last?

sophiw ! tumblr user almightyportraits ! the loml !

13. Your worst enemy?

x

14. What is your current desktop picture?

one from apple called ‘abstract shapes’ its very orange but also blue which is my fave color pairing atm so its perfect

15. Do you like someone?

tumblr user vahilla

16. The last song you listened to?

megan played ‘marceline’ by willow in her car ! a song i suggested to her a few months ago and it makes me very happy that she likes it especially bc we bonded over adventure time in 6th grade :-)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

mmyy seelfff ??

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

mmmyseyyffelllff ??

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? 

eh whats the point

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

n o ne ? 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

what is the opposite of nb,, i feel like if i was opposite of how i present id be a girl, which is a verryyy weird thought for me, pass

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

no :-/

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

uh first of all blood, like, ill pass out,, second of all,, literally everything worries me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

jimmy johns #16, turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato, NO MAYO

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

im a very practical person so the least boring answer i can come up w is more art supplies

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

denmark

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

fukcing , acetoNe

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i think a FIRST rule would have to be pretty IMPORTANT so probably smt like how ~WE THE PEOPLE~ are all EQUAL would be a pretty good start and pretty UNDENIABLE and STRAIGHT FORWARD especially if it was the FIRST thing in this,, hmm lets call it the CONSTITUTION, in the completely hypothetical society

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuk cufck ufc kfuck 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

sunglasses??!!! that shit gotta be bright huh>?? gotta protect my retinas 

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wanna say my first relationship made me a better person but that shit was rreeeaaallyyyy fucking awful and 4 months (+recovery months) that i will never get back and i think ? maybe ?? i wouldve been ok without it ? idk just a thought

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! 

spain ?!?!? why not + i sorta know the language? thatd b cool

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

zoey my dog :-( i miss her a lot, this month it will have been two years oh my god i miss her so much

34. What was your last dream about?

the last one i remember was a nightmare about someone tryna murder me i was very scared

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

i think so , when i was two i got really really sick and couldve died ?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

ahh yes ! we gave hhimm,, fruit snack nipples, please forgive me fathr

38. What is the color of your socks? 

grey w blue n orange stripes ( again i lov blue n orange together, my shirt is teal and i have an orange hat on wow)

39. What type of music do you like?

all! i had to train this new guy at work and im sooo awkward but once why started talking about music it was easy for me to talk bc it was smt we both really like !!! i felt like i could actually communicate w feeling a disconnect it was nice ! we talked mostly about rap which was cool and unexpected but i could do it ? i really love music and i love being able to know enough to talk about it ,, isk 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises, ive been pushing myself to wake up unreasonably early to have more time to myself and i get to watch the sunrise most days which is nice

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate 

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

whom?

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

college? god i dont even know… smt w art.. by an illustrator or art teacher or freelance artist or graphic designer ,, i really dont know

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

one thing ?!!?!? i wish i was neurotypical

46. Are you reliable?

yes? i try hard to be? i hope so ?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

u still a lil bitch ?

48. Do you hold grudges? 

nope i try not to, ive had too many toxic petty people in my life that i dont need to be one myself.. now this is grudges w/o reason, but if ive given people several ‘second chances’ and theyre still (thumbs down) then ill avoid them but w/i reason?

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

DOG HORSES BIG DOGs

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

mm probably smt w my lab partner from last year. she always sends me weird quotes from a fanfiction shes reading and its weird but i really appreciate that she still talks to me or talks to me at all tbh

51. Are you a good liar?

nooo ?? i try not to lie? mb not tell the full truth but idk , i feel like id feel too guilty

52. How long could you go without talking?

uhh literally days like i already fucking do.. i m taking this as verbally but i dont get texts so like, it would not be hard

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

before i went to short hair i used to alllwaayyys wear a tight ponytail every single day bc i wasnt girly enough to do anything w it and it was really really gross like thank god i cut it all off

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

heck yeah

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

*clears throat*

h-

hewwo?

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter and jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

x

58. What would be you dream car?

razor scooter

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

sometimes im just too physically or emotionally exhausted to stand so ill just,, lay down? ive fallen asleep in the shower before ha

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yup

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

whenever it comes up but i dont ,, seek it out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Q

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons tf

64. What do you think about babies?

evil, ugly, dont see the appeal. open ur eyes ppl !!!! bbs are n Ot cute !!

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

x

[caramelomachiato-blog]

The Shadowhunter chronicles faves (spoilers for lord of shadows)

Okay but I'd protect: Kieran, Mark, Christina, Ty, Kit, Livvy (;-;), Dru, Tavvy, Helen, Aline, Diana, Jem, Tessa, Will (;-;), Alec, Magnus, Max and Rafe, Raphael (;-;), Simon, Izzy, Maia, Max (;-;), Jules, Alec, Kieran, Ty, Livvy, Alec, Magnus, Kieran, Raphael, Ty, Livvy, Dru, Diana, *repeat* with my life I love them so much I love Kit and relate to him on a spiritual level. I love his relationship with the twins (especially Ty if ya know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) and his frustration with Shadowhunters (he's expressing the viewers words tbh). I love his understanding and need to protect Ty. It's great to see someone doing the right thing for my baby bee boy. I love Dru so much being a middle child is hard, especially when you're 'too young' for literally everything and people forced your younger sibling on you. Also she's beautiful and her talks of insecurities about shape and weight really hit it home for me and I'm sure lots of other. I literally cried when Jules said "You're our heart baby girl. You're the heart of the family." Tavvy is the cutest bean and needs protecting. That's all that needs to be said. Also if anyone hurts him I'll find you. I loved Diana a lot from the beginning. My attachment to the Blackthorns meant that anyone who was nice to them by association caught my interest and deserved attention. But I liked her character, especially when she essentially told Zara to shut the fuck up ngl. Her coming out story was a cherry on the cake tbh I wasn't expecting it and I cried over her story (also her sister ;-;). I love Diana's design too. She's overall a great Character. I love Helen and Aline so much. Their relationship, dedication, meeting, everything about them alone and in a pair is just so great. Also I'm high-key gay for both of them. But Aline dedication to her wife made me cry I'm-- I'm just in love with them ok? Okay but Tessa Jem Will Tho yass I love them I haven't even finished their series (I've read lord of shadows but I'm only on clockwork angel aka the first one ;-;). I live their dynamic. Tessa's just beautiful and great and smart and badass af. Jem is precious I love him. Will is so great I actually prefer his herondaleness to Jace's. I love their interaction. And their Camille and Magnus interaction were the goodest of good shits™ 👌. Do I really need an explanation for Max and Rafe tbh. Like Tavvy they're both adorable and amazing. Also Max is blue (I love the fact he's blue). If anyone ever hurts or bullies them I'm coming for that person. Simon and Izzy. Well what can i say, Izzy is hot and Simon is chill (mah man). He's honestly such a geek ("tell me a bedtime story" "k *plot of starwars*"). He should meet Kit tbh. I love Izzy in book and the TV show (and not just because Emeraude Toubia is impossibly attractive). I live her character. I love Simon's character. 'Nough said. Max, well, uh we don't talk about that. F U C K Y O U S E B A S T I A N M O R G E N S T E R N ! ! ! I loved Max so much, though, I wish I could have protected him personally. He was so cute and loved reading and felt like no one noticed or listened to him or borderline ignored. (That sounds familiar call out post to my toxic friends and family). He's a 13 year old boy you should be ashamed! Tbh I loved Maia since I first read about her in the books. She was so strong and badass and pretty and great. Also that one time where izzy says if she was attracted to girls she'd tap that ass. Also when she killed that asshole I was like yasssss queen slay!!! Rip Kyle tho I miss him. She pretty great in the TV series too, W E A RE N O T T A L K IN G A B O U T T H E C L O S E T S C E N E I R E P E AT N O T!! Jules, Jules, Jules... he's a fucking amazing brother lets start with that. He's had to essentially, apart from Emma and Diana look after his siblings, the institute and everything else singlehandedly. He's always there for them. He's also an artist ! That's great I love artist characters idk. Can we also talk about his way with words dang dang diggity dang dang dang he can talk anyone into seeing to his POV or believing his words. He a great boi. He just needs (some milk, sorry it's 2 am) a permanent vacation with Emma in an AU where parabatai bonds won't make you crazy if you be fucking yo parabatai. So he can fuck Emma, essentially is what I'm, ever so subtly, getting at it. Christina Rosales is beautiful and deserves the world and to stab Zara Fucking Dearborn through the heart. Ok I love her but I love Kieran more so she better not hurt my boi Kier. Also I'm down for some KierArkTina anytime as long as they spend some (a great amount) time to sort out their issues and love each other properly. Mark is great tbh (but again I love Kieran more so don't hurt him mah boi). Like I love his personality and character and appearance and speech patterns they're like the perfect blend between nephilim and faerie and I love that. I love him, that coat scene tho and the kitchen scene and the many scenes where he talks to inanimate objects. Also the make out scenes got diggity damn kierark. Also talking about kierark ppl be like Kieran was so bad to mark yeah but mark was bad to Kieran too. I'm not excusing mah boi here or mark but yeah they both not angels (hahaha). Tbh I loved Raphael so much (also saphael). He was so great I loved this lil asshole so much I cried when he died so much. S E BA S T I A N F U C K IN G M O R G E R N S T E RN !! ! Also ! Ace! representation ! Is ! Important ! I'm! Happy! But yeah Rip this babe. I loved Ty and Livvy ever since I first read them in the books, I was super excited for an autistic character and related to Livvy as my little brother is also autistic. (Livvy deserved better tbh). They're just so great and cute, I love them. We don't deserve them tbh. I love ty, I'm sorry, Sherlock so much and his twin sister (Euros lol don't shoot me) is an inspiration. Livvy is so protective and I love her. Ty is just so protective and I love him. I love them both so much. Kieran, mah boi, my sass ball, my salty bitch, my faerie boi, my king's son, my slayer, my great handsome beautiful amazing boi. Okay I don't even know why I love him so much I just do. He's misunderstood and before yall bitch at me like oh that poor special snowflake he Hurting he misunderstood poor bean do he need a tiny violin to play sad music for him where's thE P R O O F OF T H I S BI T C H ! !! Yall can read up on this subject on other post about it I've reblogged. O K A Y he did some bad things he regrets and wished he could rewind and stop. Um. So has almost every other fricking character in this book series apart from really young kids don't just blame my baby gods guys. Magnus is just the best, if you hate him you're wrong doesn't matter who you are or what ever. You're wrong. He's a great great bf, fiancée, future husband, father, future uncle, babysitter, cat sitter, lover, friend, Warlock, person and soul. I love him I'd give up all my soul and body for him. I worship him, I love his design, speech patterns, personality, methods, over all character and just everything. If I wasn't attracted to female only I'd high-key be crushing on Magnus Bane. Bi the way (see what I did there) he great don't ever hurt. Also he slays. And Harry Shum Jr. does a great job portraying him in the series, he great. Drop everything because you've come to the last of the superior squad (Ty, Livvy, Kieran, Magnus and Alec) Buckle the fuck up guys it's time to go for a spin in the Mystery mobile (or w/e the fuck it's called). Ah Alec, my biggest fave rivalled only by Ty my other biggest fave, he's so handsome brave and amazing. Malec is like supreme OTP (with Kitty and Kierark of course) I live for their dynamic both in the book and on the screen in the TV show. I love Alec as he's incredibly relatable, beautiful, great with kids, a great leader, a great bf/financée/lover/husband, a great person. I love him. If i could if adopt him as my son. I'm screaming he's just so good. Also he hecka attractive for a guy if i was a guy 10/10 would bed and we'd this handsome boi. Also the way he roasted Zara Dearborn, she was more like deadborn back then. (Also when Kieran joined in I cried tears of joy). When are we gonna talk about his alleged bondage kink btw? Hmu with fic and Fanart with this if you have it. In conclusion I love them all very much! Special mentions to: Gwyn, Arthur, Malcolm (idk why), Annabel (kinda i guess), Jaime (Un petit peu), Nene, Nerissa and Aodaon (?) (he cute).

[coughscent1-blog]

The Real Difference Between Men and Women Bragging About Sex

Bragging about sex is as old as — well, sex itself. People have always felt compelled to share stories about the sex they had last night (and how many times, and in what positions!)

Whether it happens in the group chat or at the weekly boys’ night out, sex brags are omnipresent. However, that doesn’t mean that all sex brags are created equal. Some are fun — and funny — to hear, while others are just plain distasteful.

What is it about sex talk that’s different for straight men and women? When it comes to women, we picture a group of Sex and the City-type women laughing about a blowjob. It’s fun and sassy. But when men discuss sex, it can often feel cliché (at best) and offensive (at worst). Nobody wants to hear a man peacock about his sex life!

I'm going to break down why that confusing gender difference exists — and how men can get better at talking about sex.

1. ‘Locker-Room Talk’ Is The Norm For Men

“Dude, I need to get laid. It’s been a couple months since I had sex.” “Can’t relate, bro. I got lucky last night.”

Talking about sex is often a bonding activity for men, hence the label ‘locker-room talk.’ When a man shows off about the hot one-night stand he had last night, he’s reinforcing what’s expected of him. Part of being an alpha male is bedding a lot of women: It’s a status symbol for straight men in the same way a hot girlfriend is, or an expensive new car is. That’s why it’s never unique to hear a man talk about all the sex he’s having. There’s no novelty to it!

Think about a guy who isn’t very sexually active. It would be embarrassing for him to admit “Yeah, I haven’t had sex in a year.” He would become someone to commiserate with or pity. Similarly, we can’t comprehend of a masculine man who doesn’t have a high sex drive. “A male virgin” is a punchline in itself (which is why a lot of male comics joke about their dismal sex lives!)

RELATED: Everything You Need To Know About Losing Your Virginity

2. …But Often Radical For Women

In sharp contrast, women talking about sex are being subversive. We still live in a society that shames women for being too sexual: Men circulate memes of women’s “roast-beef pussies”, and there’s plenty of people who believe sex makes women loose down there (which, for the record, has been scientifically disproven).

It’s no wonder that women are worried about seeming slutty if they have sex with multiple men. That’s why it’s refreshing or interesting to hear women talk nonchalantly about having casual sex: They're going against the norm.

3. Are Men Exaggerating (Or Just Lying About It)?

“I banged the hottest girl last night, man. She looked like a cross between Emma Roberts and Emma Watson.”

“Sure, man.”

Sure, man. That’s often our response to men talking about sex! If they claim to have multiple sex partners per week, or to routinely banging Victoria's Secret supermodel wannabes, we are suspicious of them. The principle is similar to bragging about how rich you are: Men lie in order to look good.

The thing about sex is that it requires a certain part of effort on the part of cis men — it is, after all, an exercise that requires energy and stamina. That’s why it’s better for men to be somewhat reserved when it comes to their sexual prowess. Resist the urge to tell people that you got laid four times last night! Even if you did manage to have sex four times last night, what’s the point of advertisement that sounds like a lie?

4. The Vocabulary Is Just Plain Different For Women

Think about the slang we commonly associate with men talking about sex:

“I hit that!”  “Yeah, I smashed.” “I’m gonna tear that p*ssy up.” “Man, I wrecked her.”  “I can't wait to tap that ass.” “I screwed the shit out of her.” “I’m banging the hottest girl right now.”

You've probably heard a guy say every one of those lines. What do they have in common? They all frame sex as something you do to a woman, instead of with her.

RELATED: Top 10 Hookup Sites To Actually Find A Hookup

In this scenario, the woman isn’t very different from a tennis ball or some other inanimate object! (Not to mention — the violence of these words often implies that she didn’t even enjoy it.) The brag is not for her, it’s for you: It’s the most selfish sort of brag. 

When women talk about sex, meanwhile, it tends not to be as dehumanizing

“Yeah, my boyfriend and I fucked three times last night, I’m exhausted today.”

They speak more of sex as a joint activity — something that both parties enjoy together. It would be refreshing to hear a man speak of sex in the same way. Describe sex in less-cringey terms — talk about how good the sex you have with a particular person is, versus how good you are at Doing Sex To Her™.

5. Bragging To Women About Being Good In Bed? Big Nope

One notable thing about the viral term “big dick energy” is that none of the men associated with it had to say they had it. Sexual confidence is like that — it’s apparent, it doesn’t need to announce itself! If you tell a woman on Tinder that you have a big dick, or that you’re a magician in bed, it’s embarrassing. It’s a much better idea to wait and let her find out for herself.

When it comes to sex brags, remember the golden rule: Less is more. Maintain an air of mystery, and you’ll generally come off looking much better than if you bragged.

Source: https://www.askmen.com/sex/sex_education/the-difference-between-men-s-sex-brags-and-women-s-sex-brags.html

[iwritethat]

Damian Wayne as a Father Headcanons

A/N: Reader and Damian are adults in these. I went all out on this, so I really hope you like the structure and everything. Feedback is welcomed. ☺️

(c/n) = child’s name

>>>>——————–>

Damian as a father would include:

Pregnancy: • Damian was excited when you told him he was going to be a father, well as excited as Damian manages to express.

• He had his concerns about whether he was going to be a good father, based on his family background and upbringing he had his doubts. However after reassuring him, that he managed to change and has become a better person his worry subsided.

• Now when he goes out on patrol, he’s more cautious and careful as he now has two people to come home to and protect.

• Whilst you’re pregnant, Damian is extremely over protective with everything. You are not putting yourself in any danger and he’ll make sure of that. He understands he’s being this way and apologised, explaining he doesn’t want either of you hurt since you’re a prime target now.

• Catering to your cravings the best he can. Sort of. “Pennyworth, we need some strawberries and hot sauce?” “We’re currently out of strawberries Master Damian, Miss (Y/n) has cleared them out.” “Ugh, I’ll be back shortly beloved.” “Really? You have to leave me, I know you’re getting stuff for me but I’m kind of annoyed by that and I don’t know why.” “Hormones (y/n).”

• Trying to comfort you when you get emotional, but since Damian isn’t the best at it he comes up with other solutions. “I could punch you right now!” “Beloved, that’d be a stupid move.” “Oh really? Because I love you… a lot and I didn’t mean that!” You were still yelling and you weren’t sure why. “How about throwing some knives instead?” “What?! NO! That’s ridiculous and I’m actually willing to do it. You’re such a good partner for letting me do this.” By your last statement you were crying and pulling him into an embrace.

• Both of you low-key freaking out when the baby kicks and you’re just hugging each other with massive grins on your faces.

• Receiving visits from Damian’s family, all of which are super excited to be apart of it and looking forward to having a new member in the family.

• Dick encouraging Damian that’s he’s going to be a good father.

• Bruce still not quite getting the fact his son has a proper family that’s almost normal, but enjoys it none the less. “Bruce, you know you’re going to be a granddad right?” “Yes of course I do (y/n), Damian is going to be a father and to be honest… it all feels surreal.” “Tell me about it. It’s gonna be great though.” “It truly is.”

Labour: • When your waters broke, Damian was with you since he’d estimated the most likely time it’d happen. This man was prepared, he was still the son of the original Batman.

• Damian drove you to the hospital as soon as possible, not in the Batmobile much to your disappointment but understood there’d be no easy way to explain that.

• Panicking and being exhausted throughout labour and Damian telling you to breathe.

• “Holy shit (y/n)!!!” Damian actually yelped when you squeezed his hand during labour. “You’re not giving birth Dami!” “You’re a lot stronger than I thought.” “Yep, comes with being your significant other for so long! Ah shit!” “Breathe beloved, breathe.”

• With over 10 hours in labour you finally had your child and you were exhausted. “I did it - Dami I -” “I know beloved, you are so strong. I’m proud of you (y/n), I love you so much.” “Love you too.”

• Holding the baby and you simply can’t believe you’ve created something so pure, suddenly you forget all the pain because it was all worth it for this child in your arms.

• Damian holds them next, and is so smitten that you know this child is gonna be spoilt. He almost cried because he thought he was incapable of producing something this innocent, his family do not have a grip on his baby and they never will.

• The rest of the Batfam piling in minutes later hoping to see their new addition. Dick is super enthusiastic about the whole ordeal and sheds a few tears, whilst promising to be the best uncle ever which was open to dispute. Jason was smiling more than ever, saying “It’s up to (y/n) to make sure we don’t get another demon spawn in the family. Right now though, I’m really proud of you two.” Tim making sure you’re alright, asking about names and how much the baby weighs before checking on the others. Bruce is over the moon and is third to hold his grandchild, he’s quick to congratulate you both and offers for you to stay at the manor so they can all help to get you back on your feet. Cassandra doesn’t say anything, instead hugging you tightly with a wide grin on her face then patting Damian on the shoulder who remained by your bedside. “You’ll make a great auntie Cass.” And that only made her smile more.

General Child Raising: > Taking turns to get up in the night when the baby wakes up.

• Morning cuddles because you’re both exhausted.

• The baby getting lots of attention and babysitters consisting of Damian’s family which you’re eternally grateful for.

• Damian still being smitten as you expected, you find yourself leaning on the doorframe and watching the two interact often, a smile making its way onto your face. “Are you alright beloved?” “Y-yeah, it’s nice to be apart of this family.” You soon join the two.

• Damian teaching your child self defence from a young age and you’re not too thrilled with the idea. “Oh my - Damian! Why does (c/n) have a katana?!” “I’m teaching (c/n) how to wield the weapon beloved.” “Y-yeah, couldn’t you have started with a wooden one. A real one isn’t exactly safe for a 5 year old!” “I did. At the age of 3. (C/n)’s skills have developed since then (y/n).” “Oh my gosh. We’re terrible parents!” You yelped, throwing your hands in the air.

• Your child learning about Damian’s culture and heritage as well as your own so they know where to come from and if they want to celebrate any traditions.

• Both of you helping out with homework from school, Damian specialising in Maths.

• Having to come up with crazy explanations as to why their father came through the window in the dead of night looking like Batman. “Is daddy Santa?” “Uh not exactly… It’s more like the tooth fairy?” “We are not saying that beloved, (c/n) I’m Batman - but you can’t tell anyone as this is a family secret.” “Ok Batdad.” You’re child whispered, giggling at the nickname.

• Damian ok with them joining the family business as long as they pass his training resumés. They don’t go out if they’re sick or injured no matter what as this increases the likelihood of reckless behaviour.

• Teaching them the ways of Wayne Enterprises since they’re the future heir now.

• Your child learning about the hero business when they get older and finally accepting their father isn’t the tooth fairy.

• Giving them the choice of whether they want to become a vigilante with you supporting them 100% and Damian teaching them League of Assassins techniques regardless of their decision.

• Joking with you and Damian about becoming a villain because they’re fully equipped to do so but knowing that’s not how they were brought up.

• Them secretly having a favourite uncle but only Damian and yourself know who it is and refuse to tell the others.

• Kate Kane being the go to person for anything LGBT+ related, if your child is in fact an LGBT citizen or not.

• Generally being quite an open family that comes with a few cracks but you’re happy.

If it’s a Boy: • “Looks like there’s a new son of Batman now.” “Indeed there is, I hope he’ll be my successor one day.”

• Father son bonding activities, most of which included one on one training sessions. There a lot of testosterone in your home.

• Play fights all of the time, literally with anyone of his uncles that comes over. Whether it be Dick, Jason, Tim or Duke he’s going to show them the new moves Damian taught him.

• “I’m going to be the next Red Hood. You watch me!” As your son runs around with finger guns yelling ‘pew pew’ at inanimate objects much to your amusement. “I’m going to kill Todd…”

• You’re son actually wanting to have powers like Jon, Supermans son, who visits on some occasions. Though after a long conversation about practicality with his father, (c/n) is convinced he’ll be the next Batman. “Well Superman doesn’t have a Batmobile.” “But he can fly father.” “(C/n) has a point Dami.”

• Your son imitating Damian any chance he gets since he looks up to his father more than he realises. “I am the son of the demon!” “(Y/n), what was that?” “Dick, do you really want to question it? He has Dami’s genes remember.” “That’s who he reminds me of, Damian when he was younger - such a little sh-” Covering Dicks mouth before he could finish that sentence.

• Bruce saying he looks a lot like Damian and is proud of you both for raising your son so well. (C/n) has great manners at Galas when he’s older and is a hit with the ladies. Of course, for now - you’re the most important female in his life until he finds that special someone. Damian couldn’t be more proud. “Meet my parents, Damian and (Y/n) Wayne.” “It’s a pleasure, I hope our son is treating you well.” “Yes, thank you Mrs Wayne.”

If it’s a Girl: • Literally his little princess who he loves dearly.

• Cass coming over to style your daughters hair and spend time with her. Even though Cass isn’t talkative, your daughter speaks enough for the both of them. “Can you do plaits Auntie Cass, like milkmaid ones?” “I bet you can, you’re really good at making hair look pretty.” Cass just kisses her forehead and starts braiding.

• Finding out that she isn’t going to be a girly girl from a very early age. “As I have Batdad, I get to drive the Batmobile when I’m older - maybe I can race!” “I can teach you to drive now princess, I could drive by your age.” “No! Damian, that’s illegal!” “So is vigilantism.” “…”

• Barbara and Stephanie coming over to help out and Stephanie even brought your daughter a Batgirl costume. Stephanie being so involved for personal reasons and just becoming her auntie not that there was any question. “Steph, why did you buy this?” “Why not? She’ll follow in our footsteps one day.” “I’ll make sure she knows all the technical tricks.” Barbara was quick to add referring to her way with computers.

• Kate Kane and Harper Row also visiting to check up on you both. Kate claiming that girls have got to stick together. Your daughter thinking Harpers hair is the coolest thing in the world. “Mommy, can I have my hair just like Harpers? With pink in it and can I have it rainbow?” “That would look so cool!” Came the exaggerated enthusiasm of Harper. “When you’re older, you can dye it however you want.”

• Damian gets over protective when romantic relationships come into the equation. “Father, I fight crime with you at weekends. I’m perfectly capable of handling a romantic partner.” “It’s funny you think they’ll even get a chance to get close to you.” “Mom, a little help?!”

• “Touch my daughter and you’re dead.” “You’re dad is joking right (c/n)?” Came your daughters current interest. “Haha, uh yeah… no. No he’s not joking.” “So what? Beat me to death?” “More like slice you. With his katana.” Your daughter corrected. “And that’s only if your uncles don’t get to them first (c/n)!” “Thanks for that mom.”

[everyonesomething]

Session Fifteen

Sydney Gaydos is 100% ready to get her nom on, no time for tables or pacing herself.

Pepper is just eating whatever doesn't get snatched away first.

Edith Runekill pours herself a glass of wine spritzer. It Begins.

Malkas pokes at the frog leg as big as a turkey drumstick.

Grim doesn't know what half this shit is but she'll eat it regardless

Grim eats melon rind, it's fine

In this session, we get to know each other better.

The set-up: A light RP session before we dive back into mortal danger.

The Game: We've got some down time before we have to get to Candlekeep, so why not eat our body weight in free hotel food?

I did mention each room had a piano, right?

Sydney Gaydos is eyeing that piano something fierce, might as well try to play a bit.

Sydney Gaydos: rolling 1d20+2

(1)+2= 3

Sydney Gaydos apparently plays pretty badly.

Pepper is watching Sydney pummel the keys mercilessly.

Pepper: "That's not exactly how it works, chum."

Edith Runekill: "What on earth is that racket? Is the hotel being attacked?"

Malkas: "Sounds like Sydney."

Pepper watches the hotel staff wheel Syd's piano away.

Pepper: "Well you can't use mine."

Sydney Gaydos huffs. "The keys were too small."

Well, each room had a piano, anyway.

Pepper has much better luck playing her piano—she did have lessons as a kid, after all. Grim decides to take a wander around the city before remembering they’re holding an entire celebration in our honor and revises her plans to just stay shut up in the hotel until the next day. All our room service is comped anyway, so we take full advantage of the city’s generosity and order a little bit of everything. We even ordered a coconut!

Sydney Gaydos: ((whats a coconut's strength))

rolling 1d20+4

(10)+4= 14

"Hm. Tough little thing."

Edith Runekill: "Oh! Let me try!"

rolling d20

(1)= 1

Pepper winces.

Edith Runekill: "Ow!"

Malkas: "Baaaaabe!"

Sydney Gaydos: "Are you alright?!"

Pepper: "You sure that's just wine you got her?"

Edith Runekill: "I'm fine!! I'm tough."

Inanimate objects that have wrecked Edith so far: a pinball machine and a coconut.

Inanimate objects that have not wrecked Edith so far: tequila shots.

Edith Runekill sets her shotglass down. "I'm feeling better about the kraken already."

Grim throws back her shot, then looks at the bottle like nah

Grim pours herself another whiskey

Edith Runekill shrugs; more tequila for her.

Edith Runekill pours another shot.

Edith Runekill and drinks it.

Edith Runekill goes on like this.

Malkas watches, fascinated.

Pepper: "You know that stuff catches up with you, right?"

Edith Runekill: "Yeah, well, the kraken caught up with us too and we showed him what's hat."

Pepper: "Yeah it blew up."

Malkas: "We did show him what's hat, Edi."

Pepper: "Chunks everywhere, if I remember right."

Edith Runekill giggles, and takes off her hat.

Edith Runekill pretends to examine it closely.

Edith Runekill: "Oh! It's a hat."

"That's what's hat."

Edith Runekill tosses it across the room.

Grim manages to get a word in edgewise as Edith destroys her liver to thank her for trying to talk sense into her on the train. She also seems to forgive her and Mal for picking her up like luggage when she wouldn't listen.

Mal and Edith drunkenly tell us the history of Candlekeep: Not only was it a place where Ba'al's offspring were raised, it's a library of great renown. In fact, the only way to get in was to donate a rare and valuable book to the collection. The building is like a fortress and it's been warded off to keep people away from the most dangerous volumes. Or it had been warded off, at any rate. Grim doesn't see how wise it is to keep all sorts of dangerous things together in one building and doesn't seem impressed by Edith's alcohol-soaked impassioned speech. They try to find common ground by comparing their professions.

Grim: "Don't sound much like bounty hunting to me."

Edith Runekill doesn't actually know anything about bounty hunting

Edith Runekill: "Don't you... like... find people?"

"We find things."

Grim: "Big difference between a person and a thing."

"Things ain't guilty. And they got no life to lose behind bars."

"I'm no courier."

Malkas: "Actually sometimes things are, like ... actually evil. And have like ... evil wants and desires."

"Like th-the Horn Crown."

Edith Runekill: "That's the exception, to be fair. But the Cron of Horns is one of those exceptions."

Malkas: "It like... wants to do evil. Makes you bad when you wear it."

Edith Runekill: "Wouldn't put that one in a museum."

Edith Runekill: "But there it was in Candlekeep, for some reason."

Grim: "That's what I'm saying, Steele. Evil's simple."

"People ain't."

Malkas: "Make a replica, toss the original in a forge."

Edith Runekill: "Or keep it off-site somewhere."

"Securing highly dangerous relics and making priceless tomes available to future generations are conflicting mission statements."

"To preserve and share, to destroy and hide."

"Candlekeep tried to do both, and now that the wards are down it's done neither."

Malkas: "We've got differing opinions on that, Edi."

Edith Runekill: "And it pisses me off."

Grim: "You capture a cult leader, blood of innocents on his hands, connections all over the city. Family none the wiser, kids involved. Claims remorse. What do you do, toss him in a forge?"

Malkas: "What am I, a judge?"

Grim: "You gotta be, sometimes."

Malkas: "That's not up to me."

"Not unless we're in a fight."

Edith Runekill looks thoughtful.

Grim: "The law ain't always what it claims to be, Malkas."

Edith Runekill: "Guess it's not much like bounty-hunting after all."

Grim puts out the end of her cigarette and refreshes her drink

Grim: "This is simple. Evil is real simple."

Edith Runekill: "Well, yeah, our basic goal here is simple. But if we mess up, well, the stakes are real high."

"Y'know?"

Grim: "That's the difference, I guess."

"Stakes are always high where I come from."

Grim: "Maybe not a city at a time, but you let the wrong person go, you take the wrong person in, that's a lineage of blood. And you ain't ever held accountable by anyone but yourself."

Mal, Edith, and Grim bond a bit more over their desire to affect some real change in the world by stopping the lich. Putting an end to evil for the greater good is something they can all agree on and it seems Grim is coming around to respecting the rest of the group.

Well. Most of them. Let's say a solid 75%.

Grim: "Precious few real do-gooders around, I found. Good to meet a couple finally." She looks towards Syd and Pepper too.

Grim: "For the most part."

Malkas laughs a little.

Pepper: "What? I'm doin' good, aren't I? Can't be more to the definition of do-gooder than that."

Grim: "That's the catch with you. Real wordsmith."

Pepper: "A finely woven sentence is worth more than a rich man's silk blouse."

Grim: "And wears thin just as fast."

Edith Runekill snorts

Malkas: "Ahahaha."

Pepper: "And, in the end, doesn't hold much water."

Edith Runekill: "Wow..."

"WOW"

Edith Runekill pours herself another shot.

Syd breaks the awkward tension by finally breaking open a coconut all over the room. It doesn't last for long, though, as Grim proposes the group plays “Never Did I Ever” to get to know each other better.

We go for a few rounds, the questions break down as follows (with the first name being who asked):

Never went to school: Grim

Never jumped out of a moving car: Mal, Pepper, Grim, Syd.

Never jumped off a cliff: Syd, Edith, Pepper

Never hit anything with a gun: Edith

Never totalled a car: Syd and also nobody in the group

Never had a fixed home: Grim

Never peed in the shower/tub: Mal, Grim

Never played this drinking game before: Syd, Edith

Never kissed a girl: Edith, Pepper

Never envied the rich: Pepper, Grim, Syd. Mal and Edith drink but they don't look happy about it, way to kill the mood Pepper.

Never knew their family: Grim. Syd asks for clarification on what that means, but decides it doesn't apply to her.

Never got caught sneaking out: Mal and Syd

Never played strip poker: Syd and nobody in the group, but Edith thinks it sounds fun.

Never gone back home after leaving: Edith, Pepper. Grim asks for clarification but decides it doesn't apply and drinks.

Never had a pet: Pepper, Mal, Grim, Syd

Never wore a dress: Grim, Syd, Mal. At this point in the game, Mal taps out of the drinking, he's had enough.

Never drank so much they forgot the night: Syd, Pepper

Never been east of Plaguewrought: Edith who then passes out with Mal

Pepper "Never. Have I ever. Liked to think about myself this much." and punctuates each statement with a tap of her glass before downing it anyway.

Grim raises her glass to Pepper.

Edith Runekill stumbles to her feet

Grim gets up with some support from the table

Edith Runekill: "Hey, Mal,"

"Mal. Mal Mal Mal."

"Do you..."

Malkas: "Hi Edi."

Edith Runekill: "Remember which room was ours..."

Malkas: "Yeah! Its- the one with my bag in."

Edith Runekill: "Oh."

Malkas: "N your bag."

Edith Runekill: "One step ahead, Mal."

Edith Runekill leans on Mal.

Sydney Gaydos is going to shamble back to her currently PIANO-LESS room.

And that's the game!

Bonus scene:

Grim: "Don't imagine many plead their case to you along the way."

Malkas: "Just that one tea kettle."

Edith Runekill: "And in the end we came around to its point of view and left it where we found it."

Malkas: "It was right, if you're dumb enough to drink tea you find in the middle of a collapsing sand fortress, you probably deserve to be transported to another dimension."

Edith Runekill: "See, I just woulda felt bad taking it away from its home."

"It's the only one left who remembers when that fortress was in use."

Malkas: "An' we definitely got enough people dumb enough at the museum to drink tea out of it."

"We shoulda done an interview."

Edith Runekill: "I took notes, but the head curator didn't seem interested."

Pepper extremely Edith voice "And how long have you been a tea kettle?"

Edith Runekill: "'Not your department, Runekill'"

Edith Runekill laughs at Pepper's imitations this time.

Malkas: "She literally did ask that."

Edith Runekill: "And its answer lined right up with the carbon dating, too."

"Fascinatin' stuff."

"Wish more of our finds would just politely describe their provenance and age."