#yeah im making myself sad join me!

[littlerequiem]

Kuchel doing all of this for Levi, Kuchel loving her son so much, Kuchel being Levi's source of light in this panel . . .

And she never finds out how Levi becomes a beacon of hope for so many people, just like she was for him in this panel :((((

[fluxedbuds]

o boy new life series cant wait to Stop Watching As Soon As Someone Permadies

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

You are seriously my favorite blog right now. You opinions and meta for ikevamp are so spot on. You somehow are able to flush the characters more than the canon. I just wanted to say I appreciate all the time you put into your writings and I love everything you have written so far!!!!

In Comte and Leo we trust 🫡

Aww, thank you so much! 💛💛💛

Honestly I have no control over the brainworms, I feel like Ikevamp is so saturated with implications that extrapolating becomes so much natural fun for me. I started writing and analyzing (with no supervision to stop me, big mistake) and I'm still so fascinated with it. I can't believe it's been almost what...four years? Five years? Since I started playing the Japanese version where this all began. I'm frankly flattered a lot of people agree/like my takes, it makes sharing my work really rewarding in ways I never expected~

I don't always have time for more than Comte thirsting and silly quotes these days, but you're more than welcome to enjoy what I've curated here! I imagine I won't stop shitposting until the app is discontinued, and even then I'm not confident I'll shut up 🤣🤣🤣 Comte's the best baby girl I've ever known lmfao

o7 PUREBLOOD STAN OR BUST HELL YEAH!

[redphrite]

the only times ive ever been sad about being a trans girl is when im playing tf2 and it get incredibly homoerotic in the voicechat. i want to join them so badly but i am A GIRL. and cannot "dudes rock" with them

[landososcar]

so high school ; JB5

pairing(s) ; jude bellingham x singer!reader , jude bellingham x student!reader

summary ; twitters favourite new(ish) artist drops her new album right during her school year.

warnings ; nothinggggg & mainly just fluff bc i love happy people

note ; SORRY ITS SHORT AHHAHA, i’ll post a new lando fic soon i just have no inspiration… ignore any dates that are wrong or don’t match - im lazy. also this is VERYYYY LOOSLY based off so high school lol (it’s mainly the aristotle line)

instagram !

liked by judebellingham, taylorswift, and others

youruser surprise !!!!! as an end of term present (for myself🤭🥳) and in honour of knowing the loml for 15 years, here’s 15 new songs for you guys to (hopefully) enjoy 😊 noah, thank you for trusting me and letting me join you on what might be one of my favourite songs ever!! i loveeee youuuu. && to my jude<3 thank you for inspiring me every single day of our lives. i love you bigger than the whole sky 🩵🩵 (guys he’s actually v v talented and he helped me write scared of my guitar, hard to sleep, and feels like) j, you are my safe place and these songs — especially the ones i haven’t let you hear yet — are for you.

ps guys idk how to only write happy songs but jude is the only one who makes me feel safe enough to express my emotions through my songs 😁 i looooovvveee him and am NOT 🙅‍♀️ breaking up with him. he is stuck with me forever💞

‘the alchemy’ is YOURS tonight at midnight 💓

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user1 WHAT

user2 YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON US WTF

oliviarodrigo my girl💞💞 i’m so so soooo excited😭

user3 GIRL I KNOW YOU DIDNT JUST CALL THE ALBUM ‘the alchemy’ FOR NO REASON. WHERE TF IS THE TITLE TRACK I KNOW YOUVE GOT HER SOMEWHERE

youruser jude and i love the alchemy the most out of all the songs and wanna keep her just ours for a little bit longer but maybe if you guys enjoy these songs i’ll let you have my baby

user4 YNAJDKJSKDKDIS

user5 WHATTTT songs did she not let jude hear omfg i need to know

youruser he’s heard them all except for daylight, paper rings & so high school lollll

judebellingham refreshing my spotify every minute til midnight you guys don’t understand she’s kept these songs in a VAULT

user6 jude i know you love spotify but apple music get new music 10 minutes early xxx

judebellingham just made an apple music account

user7 TEN MINS TIL THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR DROPS

taylorswift so so proud of you beautiful 🩷🩷

judebellingham I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

judebellingham putting ALLLL of these on the pre-game playlist

youruser babe idk if some of these will pump you up before a game

judebellingham hearing your voice will pump me up idc how sad the song is xx

user8 why’s no one talking about how she’s in UNIVERSITY and dropped a FIFTEEN song album like …??? she’s INSANE. WHERE did she find the TIMEEE

user9 not to mention she lives with him in madrid and does school online coz her uni is in the uk

user10 she’s insane i don’t understand how😭😭

imessages !

instagram !

youruser just posted to their close friends story.

twitter !

instagram !

liked by judebellingham, trentarnold66, and others

youruser surprised my fav person in the uk for his england game and he scored for me 😆🩵🩵

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user1 she wrote “you know how to ball” and he said “yeah” then scored a goal and did a celebration for her😭

user2 zoom in on pic 6 and you’ll see me laying on the road waiting to be run over

judbellingham ‘unemployed girlfriend’ but you’re the greatest singer on earth while also doing online uni full time and you still make time to be able to come see me

youruser it’s coz i love you so so bad

jobebellingham you make me sick

youruser i love u too jobeyyyyyy

england our favourite visitor💙💙

user3 how does she do all this whilst going to uni😭😭😭

oliviarodrigo 💖💖💖

judebellingham I LOVVVEEEE YOUUUUU

user4 i NEED the top in pic 8 where is it from

youruser i found it on depop and HAD to buy it😭😭 i think someone made it x

chappellroan HOTTTTT (you not ur bf)

youruser I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY WIFE💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

user5 i don’t understand how you write sad songs like the ones on your album if ur ‘in love with jude’

user6 jude deserves better than someone who’s so caught up on and still writes songs about her exes

user7 WHYS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS SHE POSTED ON TWITTER IM GOJNG INSANE

user8 LITERALLY?/!;!!/;@:8@ LIKE ??????? “WHERES THE TROPHY? HE JUST COMES RUNNING OVER TO ME” IS SO JUDE CODED WHEN Y/N IS AT LITERALLY ANY OF HIS GAMES

user7 EXACTLYYYYY HE ALWAYSSS RUNS TO HER IMMEDIATELY AFTER HES ALLOWED TO DO HIS OWN THING. ITS FUCKING ADORABLE

user8 IM SO GLAD SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME

user7 were both insane let’s get married

user8 dm me right now wife

youruser liked the comments in this thread

imessages !

instagram !

liked by taylorswift, jobebellingham, and others

youruser lol little life update coz i’ve been m.i.a. for the last almost two months. 1: i went blonde again. 2: my man still as fine as ever. 3: got engaged or whatever lol. 4: slaying up exams. 5: i miss tour so i decided imma come back and see you all soon 🤭🤭 tour dates soon <3

ps in honour of becoming fiance or whatever🤗 the alchemy and 4 other songs are yours on the deluxe version of ‘the alchemy’ ,, out tonight !!!

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user1 WHAT THE FUCK

user2 GIRL LET US BREATHE

harrykane juudddeeeeee!!! congrats🥳❤️

declanrice mr bellingham that is a ROCK

user3 SHE DISAPPEARED FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN CAME BACK AND DROPPED ALL OF RHAT ON HS

gracieabrams OMG WIFE IS GONNA BE A WIFE

user4 BLONDE YN IS BACK AND SHES A FIANCÉ OH MY GOD

judebellingham WIFE WIFE WIFE‼️‼️‼️

youruser not yet my love but so close🥰

judebellingham I CANT HEAR YOU MY WIFE IS AN ACADEMIC AND LYRICAL GENIUS

user5 she’s still writing break up and sad songs whilst engaged… so weird

user6 yeah and jude helps her,, he must be so disgusted right? seriously get a life and go touch grass

taylorswift so so happy for you 💓💓

youruser 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 i love you

user7 TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR

england juddeeeeee💙 sooo happy for you two

trentarnold ❤️❤️❤️

user8 how girl just gonna casually drop a ENGAGEMENT announcement in the middle of a photo dump

user9 REALLLL LIKE THATS A BIG ASS RING TOO

noahkahanmusic YESSSSS🤍🤍🤍🤍

user10 HOWWWW is miss girl gonna find time in her schedule to do uni, make music, keep a healthy relationship, AND TOUR

judebellingham mrs*

my other works !

[storm-angel989]

heyy ik this is weird to ask but cam you do valentino's daugher x vox idk why but im screaming for content and honestly i think it would be interesting to see if they "got along" you coulf say you dont have to do this i just find this a interesting concept like imagine if they had more of a special bond then valentino and his own daugher plus im sorry if this is to much to ask for

Hi there,

Sorry for the delay! Take a peek at this one- and let me know if you were thinking a different vibe!

~Mandy

“Hey, Uncle Vox!” I called cheerfully as I walked into his office.  Two more nights, two more until my final game of the school year. As an avid water polo player, my games were the height of my highschool experience and this final game this year was one I had been working hard towards. I tossed my backpack on my desk next to my Uncle Vox’s and slid myself into my chair. 

My weekday routine had been the same since I started school. With my father being The Valentino, and the odd hours he worked, it was my Uncle Vox who usually woke me up early and kept me on a schedule. Brushing my teeth, getting me dressed, breakfast and out the door when I was little. Now that I was sixteen, that morning routine looked a little different. Instead of waking up at seven, I woke up at four with Uncle Vox. We hit the gym together, then parted ways until it was time for breakfast- or more importantly, coffee. Sometimes my dad joined us, and sometimes my Auntie Vel joined us. But with their ever changing schedules more often than not it just wasn’t practical for them to join. So Uncle Vox stayed the consistent one. 

“Hey yourself, kid,” Vox replied as he stood up out of his chair. “Your dad is on the line, he wants to chat with you.” 

I slid into Vox’s seat and my fathers face appeared on the monitor in front of me. My heart soared. I bet he had a big surprise waiting to celebrate after tomorrow night.

“Hi Daddy!” I said cheerfully. “Are you ready to watch me rock it tomorrow?” 

My father’s face looked sad. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about bebita. I’m sorry, I won’t make it. I have a crisis to handle down in the greed ring and I…” 

I could feel the sadness wash over me. The rest of the conversation went in one ear and out the other and I tried to hide my crushing disappointment. 

“I’m sorry baby, but your Uncle Vox and Auntie Vel will be there and they promised to keep me updated.” My father finished. “I’ll make it up to you later okay? We can do whatever you want. Daddy daughter day.”

Yeah, sure. I had heard that one before. To date, he owed me no less than six daddy daughter days. And the flowers and trinkets he sent to make up for his absence didn’t help either. He tried- I knew it. But nothing he said or did would make up for his lack of presence. 

I signed off and put my head in my hands as I tired to keep tears from falling down my face. I felt Vox’s hand on my shoulder and I looked back at him as I bit back bitter disappointment. 

Vox seemed to recognize the look on my face. “Aw honey, I know. But we’ll be there. I promise.” He squeezed my shoulder gently. “Your Auntie Vel and I will cheer you on.” 

“Yeah, at least someone cares.” I muttered as I rubbed my eyes. 

“Now you know that isn’t true sweetheart,” Vox began. “Your Daddy loves you very much, his work just…”

“You make time for me!” I said angrily. “You make it a point to sit with me and go to my games and ask me about my day, I can’t remember the last time I saw my dad at one of my games or even just right after school!” 

“My schedule is a lot more fluid than your dads is sweetheart,” he replied calmly. “I understand your frustration, but if your dad could make it he would.”

It was the age-old argument. After a few seconds, I stood up and Vox pulled me into a hug. 

“Hey, you’re loved. Don’t forget that, okay?” He planted a kiss on my forehead. “Now let’s get that homework done.” 

I scowled but sat back down at my desk. The homework rule had been instilled by my father from my first days of preschool. Home. Snack. Work. Sometimes at my pink desk in my room, if it was Dad or auntie Vel picked me up. But more often than not, it was uncle Vox who showed up in the limo and he had work to do too. As I grew, the desk next to his grew as well. From a tiny pink plastic chair to a full grown pink office chair- I sat right by Uncle Vox almost every single day. 

His snack drawer too changed as I grew- from cheeze-itz, to fresh fruit, to protein bars and goldfish. 

“Hey, can you check this one?” I asked after a few moments of work. “Uncle Vox?”

“Did you try it three times three different ways and watch a video?” He replied back without another glance. 

“Yeah.”

“Then, sure.” He lifted his head up and picked up my homework sheet. He glanced it over. “I think this is a quadratic formula problem. You forgot the square root sign- remember the song?”

“I do but…”

He cleared his throat. “X equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus for ac all over two a!”

To his credit, the song was a great study tool. To my mortification, Vox couldn’t sing worth a damn. 

“You’re way too enthusiastic about math,” I muttered as I made the correction. 

“But I was right wasn’t I?” He teased as he turned back to his computer. 

“That’s not the point,” I replied. Not to my surprise, the problem worked itself out. “Thanks Uncle Vox.” 

I stood up and leaned in between him and his desk wrapped my arms around him. “And thanks for being the best uncle a girl could want.” 

I felt him return the hug. “Love you, kiddo. More than you’ll ever know.” 

I released him and he grinned. “If you get your homework done quickly I’ll take you to the pool and run a few practice rounds with you. And then I’ll take you out to dinner- see if Auntie can meet us.”

The work that went into Vox being able to get into the water was tremendous- not to mention he’d be leaving his job early. 

“Really? You have time for that?” I asked. 

“For you sweetie? I’ll always have time.”

[wqxianwriting]

how to make a golden retriever happy.

SLIGHTLY proofread | f!reader | poly relationship with nick & charlie though reader isn’t dating charlie | pretty damn long i got ahead of myself, sorry :,) | they’re so cute but im so bad at details fr | lunch date, walks, stargazing w fireflies & movie night! (you got headbands to wear… guess what movie charlie is having y’all watch rn) | what is stargazing | author questioning what color sonic’s eyes are | theres some crying at the end and a mention of breaking up but its just those negative thoughts actin up, theyre all okay :) | angst/comfort? | not many kisses unfortunately but THERE ARE SOME, like three scenes… two? | there is cussing, not much | nick & reader flashbacks

#%a/n%#;; first request done! thanks for it, they mean so much to me. i didn’t wanna make it too long but here we are lolol, hope it’s enjoyable though 🥹💜 also ntm on your family details but your mom does appear and she has a “set” personality! no one else appears though so you can imagine the reader’s family how you want, though it is mentioned your mom is married. also note, since reader is a lady she goes to the same school as like, elle darcy tara (and probably imogen too, right?). meant to post this yesterday but i wanted to add some stuff at the end haha, sorry sorry this is a whole ass wattpad book fr, feel like i wrote so much and nothing at the same time. hope you enjoy if you give it a read thought fhdhdj

OH YEAH last thing, the emotions in this story is kind of a whiplash 💀 one minute they’re happy the next theyre kinda sad or bittersweet so- hopefully the pacing doesnt seem bad… BE WARNED. shouldn’t be too crazy. okay thats it this time do enjoy

character(s):

nick & charlie (heartstopper)

elle & tao cameo

reader’s mom omg she’s a sweetheart, charlie’s parents are mentioned/super small cameo, nick’s mom also has a small cameo/is mentioned

darcy, imogen and sahar are very briefly mentioned!

The sweet sound of the school bell rings throughout and the school and every single student sighs in relief of the noise. You glance up at the clock on the wall before looking around the classroom where students are packing up their bags while talking noisily to one another.

You allow yourself to recline in your chair, left arm reaching back to where your backpack dangles off the seat and slide your hands into the side pocket, grabbing your phone.

Nicky Ricky Dicky: I’m alive!

Char: you live! i live too :) wanna walk together today or are you both busy? (gonna pick you up bestie)

Y/N: i’ll meet you outside (ty loveliest)

Char: awesome!!! nick?

Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry aha, I need to go home quickly today but I’ll be sure to join tomorrow!

This makes you pout and you can imagine your bestfriend having the same expression because the sad emoji he wrote in the group-chat even makes you sadder.

Char: ☹️

Y/N: don’f worry charlie

Y/N: Don’t*

Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry :,)

Char: It’s fine! Do what you have to do… we gonna facetime tonight though?

Char hearts your message ‘don’f worry charlie’.

Nicky Ricky Dicky: No promises but I’ll do my best. 😠❤️

Nicky Ricky Dicky: i gtg now, love you both <3

Y/N: lym! ❤️

Char: love you! ❤️❤️❤️

Y/N: three hearts 🥹

Char: y/n. STOP. come outside before i die

Y/N: omg… such a drama king like okay

You write and yet, you’re quick to jump from your chair and snatch your bag before sliding it on your shoulder. You push in your chair and skip out into the hallways where you see Elle. “Heya, Elle!”

She smiles warmly and waves goodbye to her friends before stepping in sync with you. “Hey there, Miss, didn’t catch your name.” You bump her shoulder and she bumps you back. “What’re you up to?”

“Charlie’s gonna come pick me up, hopefully via bike… mines broke the other day.” You sigh and she gives you a look of pity while trying to bite back a grin. Then she perks up.

“Not Nick?”

You shake your head, rubbing a hand against your temple. “Mm-mm, you ever just get a feeling something is off?”

Elle nods, turning her face away from you and her hands grip onto the handle of her bag that bounces against her legs. “Yeah, just putting it out there… graduation may be on his mind, I know its on mine and it’s been kicking my ass to be honest,” You wrap an arm around her in comfort and she hums in appreciation. “Just all that weird stuff, weird thoughts and anxiety…” Then she pauses, raising a hand and flicking her wrist. “Okay- not weird, but you know.”

That makes you snort, “Yeah, I get’cha… maybe, but we’ve always been open about that kind of stuff, I just don’t understand why it’d be a issue… I mean, we’ve talked about it many times before so it’s kind of odd, I guess?” You and Elle share a look of confusion before shrugging.

“Maybe it’s been having more of an impact y’know? You can speak easily about something when you’re not there yet but… graduation is coming up and everyone is worried about the future. You know how things don’t hit you till it’s happening literally next week or something? Maybe its hitting harder.”

Your heart clenches in pain at those words. She’s not wrong, there is a high chance it’s staring to affect him more… hitting harder than you’d know. You nibble on your bottom lip in concern and furrow your eyebrows,

“Well. If he’s being an idiot and isn’t gonna come to us about it then I’ll beat him up.” You place your hands on your hips, lightly joking to disperse the tense air between the two of you. Of course he isn’t being an idiot but you refuse to let him stress on his own. Elle chokes out a laugh in surprise.

“Oh god, he better run, she’s scary when she’s angry.” One of her hands let go of her bag and she hold her stomach while laughing a bit more. “Wouldn’t that be a sight?”

You scoff, “Like we haven’t argued before.”

“You argue about literal video games.”

“Stop.” You laugh and push at her shoulder. “Oh, and Elle, you know I’m your friend and if you ever need an ear to lend about college talk or need help to get your mind off of it to just relax, you got me.” She stares at you for a few beats before cracking into a grin.

“Thank you, Y/N. You know you got me too.”

Outside the school building you’re quick to spot two familiar figures by the gate. “Yes, he’s here!” Your arms raise in celebration then instantly flop down, “There’s no bike…!”

Elle calls out which makes the two boys stiff in seconds.

“Get your butts over here, Mr. Xu and Mr. Spring!” They awkwardly crane their necks to your direction and simultaneously sigh in relief – probably thinking you were teachers.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Tao exclaims as you and Elle once you’re right infront of the two, gesturing to his heart. Elle is quick to place a hand over his chest – Tao’s cheeks lowkey reddening but you decide not to point it out for his sake – and her eyes widen a bit.

“Tao, your chest is gonna shoot out your chest.”

“See?”

“That is the goal, sire.” You finger gun at him and he smacks your hand away lightly with an exasperated look. It makes you giggle. “Elle is just feeling a little silly today.”

“It’s my agenda.” She grins before engulfing Charlie into a hug and he squeaks in surprise before squeezing her back. “Hello, Charlie!”

“Are you sure your heart isn’t pounding because you’ve gotten your daily dose of Elle?” You whisper while stepping in line next to Tao, facing your head to your other friends but you can see him tense at the corner of your eye.

He pinches his nose bridge, mumbling and you catch some of the words, suspiciously sounding like him saying he’s gonna fight you. His cheeks bloom a rosy rose so you take the win either way and smugly smirk at him.

“Hi, Elle!” His muffled laugh catches your attention, making you and Tao smile at the interaction before you wrap an arm around the latter, making him eyeroll, of course he does, but he wraps an arm around your shoulder and gives you a light squeeze in response.

“We best be off on our merry way,” You speak up, checking the time as the two friends let go of eachother. “I wanna stop by that new shop that opened a few weeks ago… Is that fine, Char?”

He gives you a thumbs up and Elle speaks, “Let me know how their desserts taste, I’ve been wondering but honestly they don’t look that good so…” She stares at you with a grimace before shrugging.

“Noted~” You say in a singsong voice before wrapping your arms around Charlie. “I’ll call you later, enjoy your afternoon date.” You and Charlie give the couple teasing grins and they take the bait, looking away in shyness but Tao takes the initiative and connects their hands together. It makes you melt.

“Shut up.” He groans, snapping but tone very much unthreatening adding on the fact he’s trying to cover his flustered face with his free hand.

“Yes, yes grumpy old man, we’ll see you later.” You and Charlie waist no time to start down the road with waves.

“Bye!” He shouts.

“I’m not a grumpy old man!” Tao stomps his foot, comedically. Right. How could you make that mistake?

“Bye, Y/N and Charlie!” Elle laughs with a wave and tugs her totally-not-grumpy boyfriend off in the other direction. You watch their hands tighten around eachother, squinting in amusement when Tao’s scowl instantly softens into a lovestruck gaze.

“Ahhh, young love.”

“You’re starting to sound like the old one here.” Charlie snickers, hands coming up to hold onto your forearms that are still bounded around him.

“You wound me, Char.” You squeeze him and he huffs. “I literally think the same when you and Nick are interacting, it’s so,” You make weird noises, fingers wiggling. “Y’know? Very sweet. Very cute, I even have some photos of you latching onto eachother while sleeping. Wanna see-?”

His brain feels like it’s shutting down, lightly smacking your arm when you lift it as to grab your phone. “Stop it.” You could practically see those animated stars swirling around his head and laugh.

You relent and unwrap your arms with a cheeky smile. He glances at you before hiding his face in his hands. “Ughh, whatever. You act like you don’t jump Nick the minute you see him.” Yeah, that’s crazy. You feel your own cheeks flaring up.

“You must be blind.”

“No, no, no. Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Lie!” He exclaims in a joking tone, uncovering his face and poking you in accusation. You lean away, losing your balance and forcing yourself to lean on your tippy toe. Your other foot comes down onto pavement with a stomp and you twirl like you’re dancing. Charlie definitely notices this misstep, doesn’t say anything but you see his shoulders shaking in silence. He’s laughing.

“I never lie?” You pick off the conversation.

“Was that a question?” He tilts his head back at you.

“No?”

He stares at you, eyebrow twitching and you puff out your cheeks like a frog, looking anywhere but in his direction. “You’re awfully cheeky today.”

“How am I being cheeky?” He gives you a look like you’re being ridiculous.

“Charlie Spring is a little cheeky today, my oh my, what have I done to deserve this.” Then you raise your voice in a slight yell, “Ahhh! Who is this?! This isn’t my Charlieeee…!” Your arms reach for the sky.

“You’re an idiot.” He takes the chance and poke you again which makes you yelp. You narrow your eyes. He runs off, you chase.

That was last week. You haven’t seen your boyfriend in a couple of days and it’s concerning. He responds hours late to your messages, doesn’t even respond in your group chat with Charlie, his calls barely last ten minutes and you literally haven’t seen this man in person. Charlie tells you he still shows up at school but his eye-bags are pretty bad.

“Is he avoiding me? I’m confused.” You frown, balled up on Charlie’s bed and feeling very mixed. A little annoyed, a little sad, and alot of worried. Charlie sets down two mugs on his bedside table and sits next to you on the bed. His rests a hand atop of your head and lightly taps it.

“No… I don’t think so. I see him at school and he tries to act normal but even he doesn’t respond to me like that outside of school.” The scowl his face makes has deepened and you’re quick to wrap an arm around his leg in comfort. He lets out a weak smile but it’s quick to fall off his face. “I’m confused too…”

You both stay silent, it’s nearly deafening. “I don’t wanna force him to tell us anything – I mean, he knows he can come to us if he needs it but if he’s really stressed about school maybe we can help give him some space to not think about it. Even if its only for a bit, you know?” Charlie listens to you mumble while tugging at a loose thread on his sweater and nods slowly, eyes lost in thought.

“Should we go somewhere?” He tilts his head back to look at the ceiling before his gaze travels around his room’s walls, hoping to find an inkling of inspection.

“That sounds fine.” The somber feeling in the room lifts a bit when you start to grin. You shift onto your back, raising your right arm in the air and sprawl out your fingers. “We could go out, do something and eat… I kinda wanna stargaze, is that weird?”

He lets out a chuckle, glancing down at you with a teasing glint in his eyes, “Wow, you’re such a romantic, Y/N. I’m shocked.” To which you scoff.

“Well, duh. Who makes all the date plans?”

“Okay, no, that’s because you say we’re bad at planning dates – you refuse us to even be involved.”

“Charlie, Nick brought you to a dog park as a date.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“You both stayed there till nine.”

He full on laughs now, bumping you with his knee and you smack it back in retort. “No judgement though, I would do the same but that was for the whole day! Who stays at a dog park from Eleven to Nine?” He continues to laugh until they turn into giggles.

“Maybe… we’re unique.”

“True that. You didn’t even bring baby Nells, shaking my head.” To put emphasis, you shake your head and your friend has to gasp out for air. “Don’t die, now.”

“Whatever whatever.” He brings his hands to his face and rubs his cheeks in circular motion to calm himself. His face is flushed and he exhales slowly before reaching for his phone. “Do you want your drink?”

You remove your arm from his leg and sit up properly, holding on your hands and he complies, placing the mug between them. “Thank you~” You lean on the wall, flopping your legs onto Charlie’s before crossing them at the ankles – to which he sighs in annoyance and it makes you grin. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m gonna search for places to go that is nearby but not too close… you have a place in mind for stargazing?” He grabs his own mug that is black and littered with yellow stars, how ironic. You nod sleepily, slowly sipping your preferred drink and tap at the cup absentmindedly.

“Yeah, it’s near my house.”

He flicks his eyes towards you for a second.

Then goes back to typing on his phone.

“You mean it is your home.”

“Maybe.”

You smirk, he sighs and you both go back to planning. Nick honestly better be willing to get his ass dragged out of the house by his lovely girlfriend and boyfriend because money is involved and you both would be damned if he just wallows in self despair, alone.

So, that’s what happens, you fill Charlie’s parents in on needing to steal your bestfriend during the weekend and some of the plans involved like a movie night. They agreed to let him stay over for the night but he must call every few hours or atleast text.

Your parents love the boys and were completely down with the idea. Of course you also secretly called Nick’s mum and she had filled you in on a couple things that made you a tad bit more nervous to see your boyfriend.

Seems like your assumption was correct (more like Elle’s). “Lately he’s been talking about colleges, right… he’s planning to go on a trip sometime this month to check them out but he seems stressed, it’s been worrying me. You know though, kids probably don’t want their parents all in their business, haha,” She laughs softly and you can hear running water cut off on her end – probably washing something – “He knows he can come to me so I’m just letting him have his space. It’s lovely you and Charlie want to ease his mind! Glad he’s with and friends with two sweethearts,” This makes your face flare up in embarrassment but your chest puffs with pride.

“Of course, and I know he appreciates you being patient and understanding with him. The thing we don’t wanna do is pressure him… I just hope this can help take his mind off of the stress and you know… relax?” You grimace a bit, tugging at the end of your sleeve as the phone sits between your ear and shoulder.

“I get it, mhm. Thank you, Y/N.” Her voice is still soft but gets even more sincere with a hint of emotion. Had you feeling emotional too.

Saturday is quick to arrive and you stare at your reflection with determination. Brushing down your outfit, you admire your date look a bit more before turning around slowly and snatch your bag off the bed which is filled with random necessities that you may or may not need along with your wallet.

“Alright, Nick Nelson, prepare yourself for the best date you’ll ever be on.” You puff out your cheeks, grab you phone of the charger and exit your room. “I’ll be off, Mother~” You hum once you reach the end of the staircase and spot your Mom on the couch with a paper in hand.

“What is with the formal address?” She chuckles behind her hand, standing up and following you towards the front door. “I’ll see you later tonight with Nick and Charlie, right? Enjoy yourselves.” She smiles, wrapping her arms around your head and you hug her back with a gentle squeeze.

“Oh! Wait.”

She quickly unravels herself from you and speeds down the hall to the kitchen. Your eyes stare down the direction she went for a few seconds before deciding to slip on your shoes.

“Okay, here you go.” You’re standing with the door open by the time she comes back and she gives you a picnic basket. It’s not super big but you have to grab it with two hands. Less from the size, more from the weight.

“Mom. What did you pack in here?” You huff out a laugh, going to open the lid but she stops you.

“No, do not open it. It’s like… a wedding. You can’t see your spouse or it’ll be bad luck!” She speaks with a finger raised and you cock an eyebrow up. Whatever you say, Mom is basically your expression and she seems to notice because she places her hands on her hips with an exasperated look. “Just trust me, I’ve done it before and it was bad luck all day.”

“Mhm, mhm, right.” You nod, half listening and backing up on your porch. She follows, hand on the doorknob with a soft smile and she pinches your cheek with her other hand. “Thanks, I love you.”

“Love you too, honey.” She full on grins now and waves. After your ‘see you later’ promises, you’re quick to dart down the street and across the roads to a nearby park where Charlie said he’d meet you after picking up Nick. It gives you enough time to unload the nice lunch packed for the three of you and hopefully buy some refreshing popsicles or ice creams before they arrive.

Seems like luck is on your side though – maybe your Mom was right – because the minute you finish laying out the huge blanket in a nice shaded area you hear the sound of someone ringing a familiar bell sound. You turn your head so quick it nearly gave you whiplash and your eyes widen at the person walking along the park’s path, pushing a white squared cart decorated with photos of different types of cold treats.

You take your bag and phone, dialing Charlie’s number while speedwalking across the grassy field. It takes two rings before you hear his voice.

“Yes, partner in crime?” His voice comes off as staticky for a moment.

“What the hell are you doin’, your mic is scuffed as hell…”

“I’m walking!” You could imagine the eyeroll Charlie would do and bite your cheek to not laugh.

“Are you with Nick?” You continue to talk but smile in greeting when the ice cream seller stops at you coming over. He says hello and you wave before looking over all the choices on the cart.

“Yes. We’re grabbing drinks right now, you okay?”

“Yeah! I’m at the park, set up the picnic – though the food is still in the basket,” You glance back at your spot and after making sure nothing seems out of the ordinary you look back at the cart. “You remember those ice cream cart things? You want something?”

It’s silent between the two of you as Charlie ponders, in the meantime you point to your desired choice and the guy nods with a smile, opening the ice cream cart before digging around in the pile of cold desserts until he finds the one you want.

“Do they-“ He cuts himself off with a chuckle and you perk up at his voice, “Do they um,” He snorts this time then sighs to calm himself, “The ones with the bubblegum eyes. I wanna try one.”

You laugh a little, thanking the ice cream man as he sets the packaged treat in your hand. “Do you want the sonic one or something?”

“Whatever you spot first or whichever is given. Oh wait- Nick-“ You zone out a bit as he speaks to the blond and point to the blue hedgehog. The ice cream man continues his search. “He said he wants the crybaby ice cream.”

“Oh god.” You sigh in adoration, tilting your head back to the clear blue sky. “Weren’t they, like, terrible the last time we tried them?”

This time you hear Nick’s cheerful voice and he scoffs, “Okay, no. That was because for some weird reason you and Darcy wanted to put warheads into the mix.”

“Thank you,” You say to the nice man, grabbing a ten and a five dollar bill as a tip out of your wallet with a smile. You then put all the treats into your bag along with the wallet, waving the man bye which he returns and goes on his merry way. Your focus goes back to the two boys. “Ah yes, I remember the part where your face went sooo red. Hilarious, I have videos I think.”

He groans in prospect and you hear muffled giggles erupt from Charlie. “Why do you do this to me?”

“What are you talking about?” You tease and he groans again.

Charlie then speaks up, sounding way closer to the phone. “Alright! We’ll see you in two-point-five seconds.” You hum in response and say your goodbyes before hanging up the phone.

You reach the blanket again, flopping on your tush and take the ice creams out, aligning them with precision on top of the picnic basket. Charlie doesn’t disappoint because not two minutes later you see two familiar figures walking down the park path, one of them pointing towards your general direction and ditching the path to the grass.

You could feel your heart pound from… nervousness or excitement? Maybe both and it makes you grin, waving at the two. They get closer and Charlie waves awkwardly with a hand that has a drink in it, to which you notice his other hand also had a drink… and one of Nick’s. The blond’s other hand is carrying headbands of some sort and a bag is hanging off his arm.

“Char told me to get these while we were in the grocery store.” Nick speaks first when they get to you, he lifts the hand with headbands. “I decided not to question it.” You raise your hands and he carefully sets the accessories in them. Ah. Barbie headbands.

“Charlie…” Your brows pinch in amusement but also bewilderment. “What have you decided?”

He chuckles mysteriously, lifting a foot off the ground to point at your hand. “Put those down and take your drink, please. My hands are freezing.”

“Oops.” You comply and take the cup. The two eventual settle down with Nick in the middle and you quietly take a nice sip of the beverages. “Thank you.”

The boys nod and you glance at Nick, noticing the shadows of bags under his eyes. It makes you frown for a second, “So, what am I doing here on this lovely day.” Before you could inquire, Nick speaks up first, eyes shutting in contentment and a pretty smile adoring his face.

You lean back on the palm of your hand, eyeing Charlie and he meets your gaze. “Can we not want to hang out with the one and only, Mr. Nick Nelson?” You speak with a teasing tone, leaning into his side. His smile goes wider and he opens his eyes to meet yours.

“You make me sound like some big shot.”

Your eyes narrow.

“Well it was hard to reach you… so…” His gaze falters along with his smile, nervously tapping the top of his cup. “Not to pressure you, you know that but Charlie and I will always be there to listen if you need it.” You poke his arm gently and you spot Charlie’s hand sliding into Nick’s.

“Yeah.” Charlie nods, squeezing their hands, “But if not, that’s fine too. Y/N and I wanted to just, relax with you. Spend some time together.”

That makes Nick let out a shaky laugh and a wobbly smile. “Thanks.” He pauses. “Really. It’s just been, crazy?” He nibbles at his bottom lip before sighing and flops on his back, leaving his cup between his crossed legs and dragging the two of you down with him – which makes you all share a laugh.

Charlie rests against his boyfriend’s chest – facing his direction and you flip onto your stomach to play with both of their soft locks. “What has?” You ask softly.

He’s silent for a bit, tapping his fingers on your back with his free hand. “I’m not sure, school? Life? …Me? There’s no exact reason, everything just seems to be crashing down in my brain and it’s annoying to say the least.” He sighs heavily, “I’m probably just having that kind of month where everything is just feels like alot.” He frowns and you move the hand in his hair down under his chin, gently squeezing his cheeks and he chuckles.

“That’s perfectly fine, it happens.” You move the hand to trail up the left side of his face and place your palm over his forehead like you’re checking his temperature and it makes Charlie join in, prodding at Nick’s neck gently.

“There’s a lot going through your life right now, perfectly understandable why it feels overwhelming and such. Thank you for talking to us about it.” Charlie speaks softly.

“Of course. I don’t,” Nick pauses, opening his eyes with a flash of worry, “I don’t want it to feel like I’m shutting you both out or anything, or if it feels like you’ve done something wrong. I feel less weird thinking I’m overreacting, haha…” The laugh comes off flat but from the reassuring smiles from his lovers, he feels at ease.

“You’re not.”

“Nuh-uh.” You and Charlie speak simultaneously, denying such thoughts. It makes Nick laugh which sounds less forceful.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about everything right now since I don’t even think I’m done… accessing everything but really, thank you. You both are my anchors.” If you didn’t tear up from that, your heart definitely did. Charlie gets up off Nick, letting go of the blond’s hand and tilts his head back with his hands over his face.

“Same, Charlie.” You cover your own face and lay flat against the blanket.

“I…” Nick trails off with another laugh and he sits back up which catches both of your attention. “Can we eat though, I’m getting a little hungry.” He gives a shy smile and you also sit up.

“Oh shit, what if the ice cream melted?!” This realization has the three of you shooting towards the basket, grabbing the packaged delights and simultaneously sigh in relief. They’re not melted… yet.

“Should we just eat these first and then eat the actual lunch next?” Charlie bites back a laugh, already opening up the plastic and pulling out the bubblegum eye Sonic, wasting no time to put it in his mouth with wide adorning eyes.

You and Nick watch him in amusement before opening your own. “I wanted this lime popsicle they usually sell but there were none.” You sigh before eyeing Nick’s container of airhead ice cream. He opens the top and it reveals the swirls of… red? Or pink and green.

“That’s funny, we saw those while we were at the store. There were these coconut flavors too.” Nick reminisces, plucking the taped but wrapped in it’s own plastic wooden spoon off the side of the ice cream container.

Charlie hums before looking down at the bitten into Sonic, “Why does Sonic have green eyes? Are they actually green?”

You all stay silent.

“I thought they were black or brown?” You speak in confusion.

“Right? Even blue….” Charlie tilts his head.

“Technically all of those are correct though they turn red as well… It’s the different franchises, I guess?” Nick furrows his brows in thought, scooping into his sour treat after freeing the wooden stick and eats away, wincing here and there. You watch with amusement.

The lunch date you can say with absolute certainty was very successful. You all catch up on things that have been going on and different shows you’ve been watching. Sharing ice cream, stuffing yourselves full with your Mom’s cooking – there was even a drink war? All you knew was one minute you were nearly done with your beverage and the next it’s being tossed in Nick’s direction as you try and run away from Charlie’s retort from you getting him seconds before. Ah, can’t forget the classic kisses shared under one of the many trees at the park and the newest photos stored in your ‘Nick & Char ❤️’ album, like the picture of Charlie ‘painting’ Nick’s face with whip cream. Where the fuck did you get whip cream from? Ask your mother.

Around the time you were all packing up, a teenager around your age ran up with their four other friends and inform you there is a nice walking trail – pointing towards the area where the park path splits, one continuing into a circle around the whole field and the other going into an area with rows of trees.

“Y’think we’ll get jumpscared? Like a haunted path or something.” You joked.

“They said there’s a nice stream down the path.” Nick smirks at your joking, placing a hand on your head and you puff out your cheeks, feeling them heat up a bit.

“Ah yes, you can take a nice swim in it when I push you in there, Y/N.” Charlie hums, quick to dart his eyes away when you flip your head in his direction.

“You’re so evil to me?” You watch him with wild eyes, mouth agape and he laughs.

“Do you think we’ll actually able to get in?” Nick ponders and you flip the wild gaze to him now.

“With us three, I’m sure we can pull it off.” Charlie responds with a menacing grin, mischief all up in his eyes and you’re playing ping pong with your eyes, flitting back and forth between them.

“I’m gonna be arrested today, huh…” Your boyfriend and bestfriend just giggle like evil people.

In the end, you three didn’t get in the stream’s water but there were some fishes so you decided to feel them the crust that Charlie didn’t eat from his sandwich and take some more photos. Nick had picked Charlie up bridal-style, getting dangerously close to the water and you record it all.

“Don’t drop me!” Charlie tightens his hold around Nick, fear and excitement in his tone.

“This takes me back to the beach…” Nick ignores his boyfriend’s pleas and spins around carefully.

“Do not reminisce while I’m in your arms, please and thank you?!” He exclaims and it makes you full on laugh, an arm over your stomach while watching the whole exchange happen.

It’s not long before it turns from afternoon to evening, you three return back from the area with Nick and Charlie debating on if they saw a deer or not. Charlie saying it was definitely there and Nick saying it wasn’t there.

“Carl Grimes flashbacks…” You hum and Charlie puts you in a headlock.

“Do not. I will cry right here.” He pouts and pulls at your cheeks, ignoring your protests. Nick watches with a soft gleam in his eyes, rocking the picnic basket back and forth with a hand.

You all walk down the sidewalk side by side once Charlie lets you go, talking about random things before Nick realizes the direction you’re going.

“Are we dropping Y/N off?” He frowns.

It catches you and Charlie off guard. “What? What makes you think that?” You raise an eyebrow. Nick points ahead and your house in slowly coming up in view. Ah.

“Ah.” Charlie speaks your thought and you both share a laugh. “No, we’re not dropping her off.” Charlie stretches his arms with a grunt before eyeing the bag strapped around Nick. “You brought pajamas and clothes for tomorrow, right?”

Nick nods, pursing his lips. “Still confused about that.”

You scoff in amusement and place a hand on your forehead with an endearing smile. “Nick…”

“Don’t worry, you’ll understand soon.” Charlie gives him a thumbs up, paired with a wink before darting ahead of the two of you. Nick flicks his gaze to you in question but you put on an act and shrug.

“What he said,” You pause for a moment, eyes burning into Nick’s, “Do you like stargazing?”

He moves closer to you, closing the gap and tugs your hand in his. The question makes him look up at the sky for a moment. “Mmm. Never tried it before? What counts as stargazing? I’ve… been in the car on trips and looked out the window…?” You give him a perplexed look which he returns.

“Alright, well-“ You chuckle, “That can… technically count? I guess? Just… Yeah.” You give up midway, tugging Nick along when you get closer to the front of your house where Charlie awaits. “You’re on your phone while you’re on a date? Tsk tsk.” You tut your lips in disapproval and Charlie startles.

He rolls his eyes, flipping his phone to the two of you bounding up the steps. “I was texting Saha- oops, hold on-“ He cuts himself off, flipping the phone back around with a nervous smile.

You glance at Nick before moving your hand to cover his eyes with your other hand. He gasps in surprise but doesn’t question it any further, grinning a bit. Facing back to Charlie you mouth the word, ‘Barbie?’ and tilt your head in confusion. He nods.

“You’re silly.” You remove your hand from Nick’s face and flatten your hand, tapping Charlie’s forehead in a chopping motion. He rubs the area with a laugh and you knock on your front door.

“Did you forget your keys?” Nick giggles when you give him a look of shame.

“Maybe.”

Your Mom is quick to open the door, grinning widely. “Welcome back. Hello, Charlie and Nick.” They wave in shyness and she scoots back to let the three of you in. “What’s the plan next, soldier?” She bumps the door closed with her hip and loosely crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow at you specifically.

“Gonna go in the back for about an hour…” You trail off, taking your shoes off in the most complicated way. With your feet, or the heels per-say. When you finish you take the basket from Nick and walk to the kitchen with your mom as the boys finish taking off their own shoes. “To stargaze.” You finally finish when Nick’s ears are out of reach.

She pats you on the back with approval, “Attagirl. How was lunch?”

“It was fun! We spoke a bit, ate and went down a trail.” You bounce your head to the side while listening the activities before pausing. “He seems more… energized?” Your lips purse.

“Was that a question?” She leans against the counter, one arm coming out of the self-hug and she combs her hand through your hair. You give her an awkward look and she breathes out a laugh. Tapping the crown of your forehead, she moves away to the fridge with a soft smile. “Well, if he seems to be uplifted,” She eyes you before taking out three water bottles. “That’s great news, no?” Then sets them infront of you on counter.

“You’re right but… I don’t know. I just feel like I can do more,” You huff. “But that’s dumb because of course I can’t, this has to be something Nick figures out and all I can do is support him.”

“Honey, that is doing more for him. Supporting him is the biggest help you can five someone, along with what you’re already doing. Taking him out, letting him have space to clear his mind and being a safe net. Same thing with Charlie, no?“ Her hands latch onto your shoulders and give the muscles a gentle squeeze. “I know it feels like you want to do so much more but, there’s only so much.” You tilt your head back and look up at her with a half-smile before relenting.

“You’re right.”

“A mother is always right.” She lets go and moves towards the stove, giving you a smug side eye… which you return with an unamused eyeroll.

“Yes, yes. My mother is always right. Sometimes.”

“About ninety-nine percent.”

“Ninety-five…” You lift an eyebrow and give her pointed look. She has a spoon in her hand when she looks over you and points it to her chin in thought, it’s just a bit though.

“Ninety-seven. Take it or leave it.”

You scoff in amusement before scooping up the bottles, “Whatever you say, ma’am. We’ll be outside.” She hums in understanding and you exit out the kitchen, walking into the dining room before reaching the living room where the duo waits.

“Pleasure for you to join us.” Charlie smirks and takes two of the bottles from your arms with a nod of thanks.

“Be welcomed.” Nick muses with a grin and cracks open the bottle, taking a quick refreshing sip.

“What is this speech? I hate it.” Your face scrunches up in disgust before gesturing to the sliding glass door. “Shall we?”

“Look who’s doing it now…” Charlie stares at you cheekily. You give him the finger, he returns it.

There are slides in a shoe rack near the door and you three take a pair before stepping out. Nick’s eyes widen in wonder. Your backyard has a big blanket – similar to the one from the picnic – sitting in the middle of the area that has a plot of grass and lanterns that hang off metal rods sit nicely around in the grass that have curves at the end, doing nicely as handles. What surprises you are the little bugs that fly and flicker with a yellow-green gleam in the air.

“Since when do we get fireflies?” You speak first.

“Since forever, Y/N.” Charlie poked your back and you jump, flipping around to get him back but he’s already slipped behind Nick.

“You little…”

“Ah, ah ah, you have to be nice to me.”

“Says who?” He’s being ridiculous.

“Says me. Your bestfriend.” He peaks around Nick’s side – who, mind you, is still focusing on the backyard’s look – with a teasing grin.

“I’mma beat you up.”

“No!” He lets out a laugh when you lunge towards him, twirling out of your reach and running around with you flailing behind.

It felt special to Nick. The orange-red sky turning into it’s pitch dark blue color, stars twinkling down on you three with a full moon bright. His eyes are stuck on his two partners, the fireflies swirling around them out of disturbance but still they still decorate the backyard with green-yellow hues, not ready to leave. He remembers this conversation you had in this backyard a year ago…

“Do you think fireflies come around this area?” You were sitting on a bean bag, legs tucked beneath yourself and were practically sunken into the ‘seat.’ Charlie had insisted you to put it on the concrete side of the backyard so you did and now your face is hidden behind Nick’s switch in your hands.

Speaking of who, Nick is currently soaked wet, wringing out the ends of his shirt and Charlie wraps himself up in a towel. It’s late night, pitch dark but they wanted to play with water balloons and your Mom happened to be out of the house to pick up dinner.

“Maybe…” He leans back to look at the sky. “Why? Do you like fireflies or something?” He looks back down at you. The question has you silent for a couple of beats before you set down the console. He watches you with an amused twinkle in his gaze, puffing out his chest in pride at seeing you in his sweater. Charlie had been wearing it earlier and you both traded before they brought out the balloons.

“I mean, I have never seen any so, maybe, maybe not.” You shrug, unfolding your legs and stretching them out with a groan. Your socked feet slap down against the concrete and you sit up a bit. “Don’t you think they’re kinda special though? My Mom said it’s like they’re glowing up your night, dancing around you and stuff.” You eye the floor. “Appearing on specials occasions like they know,” You lean back into the seat with a sigh, “Said that’s how she got married. Isn’t that crazy?”

Charlie purses his lips, tilting his head to the side before smiling, “Sounds magical. They’re the ‘true love’ bugs.” His smile widens into a grin.

“Exactly!” You snap your fingers with a nod, bumping your heel against the stone pavement.

“I’m sure they do appear out here though, don’t they come out at Midnight?” Charlie shivers while speaking, hugging the towel around himself tighter. You sympathize with a playful grin.

“Maybe. But well, you boys should get inside and warm up. We’ll try next time.”

“Nick! Are you gonna come and lay down?” He snaps out of his head, eyes darting to you and Charlie lying on the blanket though Charlie is trying to tap out from a leg lock you have him in.

He snorts in surprise, not missing a beat and closing the distance. “How the hell did this happen?”

“Nick! Help me~” Charlie wails before pinching your thigh, making you yelp and quickly let go.

“That is cheating!” You exclaim, rubbing your leg with a wince.

“All’s fair in war.” He snickers, reaching a hand out to Nick who takes it and sits down between you two.

It’s a nice silence between the three of you, you’re not sure who laid down first but you eventually followed. Nick has his arms wrapped around the two of you and you’ve glanced up at his face which shows contentment. You even met his gaze while peeking and it caught you off guard with how much his brown orbs were filled with much love and affection.

You reach a hand out towards Charlie and tussle at curls, making him whine in protest but lets you continue anyway. “I’m not good with constellations so you’re not gonna be getting that during this stargaze adventure.” You mumble against Nick with a laugh and it makes the other two chuckle.

“Nah, that’s alright… I’m happy with this…” You and Charlie freeze at how soft Nick’s voice sounds. Serene. Content. More than happy but not quite ecstatic. Filled with much love directed towards the two of you and it has your heart pounding.

You sit up on your elbow, making Nick’s arm slip off of you and he eyes you with suspicion. “Actually…” This would be way more comfortable on your knees so you sit up, tuck your calves beneath you and cuff Charlie’s face into your hands. It’s nearly laugh worthy of how quick his face turns a deep red and how you felt it happen under your touch.

You lean forward, careful not to face-plant into him – that would be awkward… and painful – pressing your lips against him. You both move into a soft but passionate rhythm. Your thumb brushes against his dusted cheeks, pressing hard against his lips one final time before moving back with a dazed grin.

He returns it, chuckling shyly before meeting Charlie’s intense gaze. You choke back a laugh with the swiftness of your friend sliding up a bit, hand softly cupping the side of Nick’s face and sharing their own kiss. Also very slow, and passionate. Your tilt your head up towards your house, eyeing the sliding door and sigh in relief to not see your Mom near it. By the time your gaze returns you’re meeting with the two boys staring at you with flushed faces.

“Oh my god, you’re so red.” You laugh.

“Shut up?” Charlie hands an arm over his face, probably burning up a bit more from the teasing.

The fireflies have died down, some still hanging around but you notice most are gone and a smile tugs at your lips. “Wanna go inside now?”

Charlie removes his arm with a sharp inhale and the two nod. “Do you need to bring the blanket in?” He points to the cloth when you all stand and you’re quick to shake your head.

“Nah. I’ll grab and wash it tomorrow,” You stretch your limbs, hearing some pop. “I need new bones…”

Nick sticks his tongue out in playful disgust, “That sounds horrific.”

“Wouldn’t that be crazy though? If we needed to trade in new bones when we’re old and seniors.”

“Y/N.” Charlie’s eyebrows bend and he grimaces, “Why do you come up with the most freaky scenarios.” It’s not a question.

“Yeah, like the apocalypse one from before.” Nick pitches in with a frown that falters into a smile.

You all step into the living room after you’re done turning off the lanterns and have grabbed your bottles, “Because my brain is so amazing that I just think of things you would never think of.” You make a gesture to your brain before wiggling your fingers like you’ve done a magic trick.

“Or so you say…” Charlie glances somewhere else before meeting your eyes, “Less would never think of more, shouldn’t think of.” He flicks his hand towards you, thumb and index finger out in a finger gun.

“Hey, these could be real life events soon to happen.”

“Yeah the bones theory would happen when we all become immortal.” He chuckles and you roll your eyes.

Then boom, jumpscare. Your Mom appears just as you’re settling on the couch. A screech leaves all of your mouths and she stares in shock with mild confusion and amusement.

“Hello to you three, too.” She giggles, walking over to the glass door, tugging the lock between the handle down and pulls the thick curtains down. “Enjoy stargazing?” She turns back around with a soft smile.

You three shift your gazes away. Apparently it wasn’t just you that still had the intimate moment in the back of your brain, huh? “Yeah, thanks Mom.”

If she noticed the slight awkwardness building up, she doesn’t mention it nor show it and instead clasps her hands together, “That’s wonderful! Dinner is finished so feel free to grab whatever you want. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” She fills you in on her own plan for the night which is pretty much staying in her room so you all have your own time. She then tilts her head, eyes spacing out until she perks up, “And then there’s brownies that are baking, should be finished soon. I set a timer so when you hear it please take it our for me, Y/N.”

You nod before frowning, “Why does it have to be me?” Apparently she didn’t understand from the confusion crossing her face. You then point to Charlie and Nick.

Charlie looks offended, “We are a guest?” but his tone is light.

“You practically live here? Your clothes are in my closet, mind you.” Nick and your Mom choke out a laugh while Charlie flares up, flustered.

“Nick’s are too?!”

“Which is why I included him in my pointing?!”

Two people are bickering, two people laughing at the scene. It doesn’t take long for you Mom to calm you both down, “It doesn’t matter who, it doesn’t matter if it’s all three of you. Please just don’t let them burn.” She chuckles a bit more before rubbing her hand against her collarbone to calm herself, “Have a great time. I’ll be in my room.” You all wave her ‘goodnight’ and she retreats upstairs.

You three share a silence. Then Nick speaks,

“…So what exactly are we doing? It seems you both are full of surprises today,” He wears a teasing look which makes you and Charlie look away.

“Don’t worry about it, mister. You enjoy the ride.” You talk first before nudging Charlie with your leg. “You put the movie on, I’ll go make our plates and...” You eye Nick for a moment not knowing what he should do.

“Nick, I put the backpack in Y/N’s room, could you go get it while we set up? Oh! The headbands too.” Charlie pitches in and grins at the mention of the headbands. You and Nick blink at him before standing up to dart down your own paths.

While you’re making the plates the oven timer does go off. You take a toothpick from one of the drawers, flick on the oven light, open the oven – making you flinch back from the heat – then poke the dark chocolate fudge goodness. It has baked all the way so you grab oven mitts and drag the pan of brownies out of it’s cooker, sets it on the stove and flick turn the oven off.

After making sure everything was set in the kitchen you grab two plates and exit the kitchen, back into the living room where the movie is paused on the TV right before it begins. Charlie stands up and helps grab the two plates, letting you dart back into the kitchen again for the last one just in time for Nick to return.

“Do you want drinks? We got juices, sodas, water, you name it.” You peak your head out behind the dining room wall and the two boys pause midway in putting on the barbie headbands. You bite your lip to hold back a laugh.

“Do you have that tropical mix?” Nick speaks and you nod, he points at you in affirmation of the drink then finishes adjusting the plastic accessory around his hair.

“Root beer, please.” Charlie speaks next before his eyes shine open and wide, “Do you think we can have floats…”

Your eyebrows perk up, “I think we have vanilla? But you’re not getting that till the brownies cool down.”

“Oh, they’re out? Thank Barbie.” He holds his hands up in a prayer.

You stare at him, very much unamused and he gives you a cheeky grin.

“I’ll have tropical juice for now then.”

With a thumbs up you return to the kitchen once more, grabbing three tall glass cups from the cabinet and grab the carton juice out the fridge. You fill up two cups before staring at your own. After deciding your choice of drink, you put everything away and startle while turning around and seeing Nick in the doorway.

“Sorry,” He smiles apologetically, walking up to you and grabbing the cups filled with juice that is his and Charlie’s. He catches you off guard once again, planting a soft kiss on your cheek before bounding off to the living room again.

“What the fuck.” You stand in oblivion, feeling your face heat up. You decide you won’t unpack that tonight, flicking off the kitchen light and rejoining your movie mates.

Nick and Charlie had switched spots to where the blond was in the middle like he had been all day and your boyfriend pats the free spot next to him. You comply, setting your cup on the table while sitting and you lean into Nick with a soft smile.

“You forgot this, kind ma’am.” Charlie grabs the plastic pink band and you lean forward. He puts it on carefully and leans back with a self-satisfied expression, grabbing the remote with a quite cheer. “Are we ready for the best movie night ever?”

You and Nick watch him with amusement, “Yes, Charles, we are.”

“Not Charles, I will fight you.” He shivers at the name.

“You call me Nicholas?” Nick speaks. It makes you laugh.

“It’s your real name.” He grins.

“Is Charles not your real name, Char?” You lift an eyebrow and he rolls his eyes, still wearing the grin.

“No, it is ‘Charlie “Char” Spring’.”

You let out an insufferable sigh.

“Y’know, Y/N has called me ‘Luke’ before.” Nick leans his head back with a scoff. This makes you have a full on belly laugh which makes Charlie react the same way. “Yes, yes laugh it away.” He sighs like he’s in pain.

It takes five minutes to calm down. You wipe a precious tear away, “It was on call too and he hung up. Would not answer for like, an hour.” You inhale deeply at the memory before laughing again.

“Should we start calling him Luke as a nickname?”

“Please, please don’t.” Nick squeezes the arm wrapped around Charlie’s waist with a pleading look.

“Awwe you can’t do that.” He pouts, reaching up to pinch Nick’s face.

“Dho wha?” He sounds funny with Charlie tugging at his face.

“The puppy eyed look. The doe eyes.” You bat your eyelashes at Nick when he eyes you from the corner of his eyes before rolling them.

“We’ve gone all dahy withosut this, nowh yuu wanna shtart?” Now he’s the one doing the insufferable sighing.

“It’s a daily mission.” Charlie nods, a serious expression crossing his looks – putting on an act. He then lets go and grabs the remote again, “Movie time!”

“Movie time!” You cheer afterwards.

You three are silent for a bit as the movie plays, you and Charlie cuddling into Nick. He plants soft kisses down your face and you flush a bit. Then he moves to Charlie, repeating the action, who giggles quietly and eyes Nick with a shy look. It makes you laugh under your breath and Charlie doesn’t miss it, pointing to you with a brow raised and expression saying, ‘Don’t laugh at me when you’re acting the same.’ You look away.

“Hey,” Nick suddenly speaks up and the two of you look over. “Thanks for today. It really helped calm me down…” He continues to train his eyes on the TV but his ears burn from you and Charlie giving him your undivided attention. “And reassured me about a few things…” He purses his lips.

“Reassured?” Charlie asks quietly, as if afraid to make Nick snap his mouth shut and not speak again.

Nick sucks in a breath and you shiver from his fingers crawling up your arm. You watch Charlie lift his own hand and hold the arm wrapped around him.

“Yeah. Since everything felt like it was crashing down, I don’t know. It kinda made me feel… negative? About certain stuff. Between us. Not that I’m not happy, I’m more than thankful to be with you two but just like, how you both felt towards me…” His pursed lips flatten and your brows bend at the way his eyes dim.

“Breaking up with me for example because maybe you felt neglected or such. It made me so scared to think about I stopped responding to both of your messages most of the time and barely wanted to call because you know, what if one day you just went, ‘Yeah I don’t think we should be together,’ such and such.” You both stay quiet to let him speak his mind and you hate that he ever thought such things.

When Nick stays silent you take a sharp inhale, meeting eyes with Charlie’s glossed ones. The sight breaks your heart. “Nick…” You start off carefully and he looks over to you with so much exhaust. Slowly, you cuff his face – the same way you did outside – brushing your thumbs against him cheeks. Your right hand moves down, playfully you press your thumb against his bottom lip and smile gently.

“I’m sorry that you ever felt that way. It’s far from the truth, sweetheart.” He lets out an airy chuckle and you watch with adoration. “Y’know brains come up with the craziest scenarios when you’re stressed and it’s annoying, and stupid.” You huff, left hand moving against his cheek and he leans into the touch. Your thumb and index finger latch onto his ear and you pinch it lightly. “Do you know that, that would never happen unless you came to me asking for such a thing?” You pucker out your lips.

He watches you in a daze before laughing. “Do you know that would never happen?” Then he turns to Charlie with a soft look. “And you, Char?”

Charlie rubs at his reddening eyes and inhales. He then nods, opening his mouth before faltering. You both give him and moment and he closes his eyes in frustration before heaving out a sigh. Concern is evident in both of your expressions but Charlie opens his eyes with a new look of determination, straight at Nick.

He smacks his hands against Nick’s shoulders which makes the latter’s mouth hang open in surprise. “Nick. I love you. A lot. It hurts to know that you were dealing with these emotions, but know I’m not blaming you. How could I? It’s not your fault. Never feel bad for needing to take your time to sort out your own feelings and what’s going on with yourself. We’d never blame you for that because in the end, you know we have you, right?”

Nick nods and you can see his own eyes get glossy as well. Charlie then looks at you, “I love you too, Y/N, don’t tell Tao but you’re my bestfriend.” He chuckles, wiping at his eye again and you wipe at your owns.

“Hey, he can be your guy bestfriend and we wouldn’t have to fight over titles.” You wink, before leaning to Nick and kissing him softly. “I love you both, very much so. I’m glad you were able to talk to us, Nick.”

“Was that your goal today?” He grins in a joking manner, tilting his head in the crook of Charlie’s neck while entangling his fingers with yours.

“Did it work?” Charlie sniffles a bit before laughing. You laugh as well, “This is ridiculous we’re supposed to be watching Barbie and now we’re sobbing.”

“I give up.” You throw your head back, side eyeing the TV.

“Nooo, don’t give up.” Nicks chuckles before sitting upright. “We can still watch… we should probably eat too.” He points to the lonely plates on the table.

“True.” You and Charlie agree. You three take a moment to collect yourselves with a few embarrassed laughs here and there before settling back down.

“What’s in the bag, by the way?” You gesture to the backpack under the coffee table as Charlie rewinds the movie back to the beginning. He glances down.

“Snacks.”

“It’s good.” You hum in approval, taking a bite of your food. The three of you enjoy the movie and dinner, later on making those root beer floats paired with the brownies. Charlie had explained to Nick that he was texting Sahar about the Barbie Movie and she told him she went with Imogen. Apparently, Imogen gives the movie a 2/10 because she messed up her outfit at the theaters.

“That’s terrible.” Nick stares at Charlie in shock but it doesn’t last long with the way his lips curve into a smirk, “That’s not her real rating though, is it?”

“Of course not, she loved it.” Charlie laughs.

You’ve been quiet this whole time but suddenly loll your head to face them. Nick already giving you an exasperated look when you got their attention. “Nick. Your new name in my phone is Ken Nelson.”

[xoxoch3rry]

Through Sickness and Health

(NOT MY GIF)

Paring: Carl Grimes x best friend!reader (Set in s4)

Warnings: Mentions on blood and sickness, a little sad but other than that none.

Summary: Carl comforts the reader on patrol when the reader's mom gets sick.

I awoke to the sound of someone coughing. I rolled over and saw my mom stumbling out of our cell. I quickly got up out of my bunk and ran over to her “Mom, mom are you okay?” I asked as she collapsed on the floor spitting up blood "somebody help please” I yelled out making Rick, Daryl, and Michonne run out of their cells and over to us.

"What happen?" Daryl asked making me look up at him with tears in my eyes. "I think she's sick" I looked down at the floor letting the tears fall from my eyes and onto my dirty white shirt. "Ok let's get her to cell block A," Rick said lifting my mother off the floor bridal style.

"Go back to bed okay, we can take care of her" Michonne looked at me as I was still sitting on the floor watching Rick carry my mom down a hallway. I quickly gathered myself and wiped my face with the back of my hand as Michonne helped me off the floor and back into my cell. I laid back resting my head on my pillow while Michonne covered me with my blanket. "Just go to sleep, it's okay," she said petting my hair.

I didn't want to get up and do anything knowing that my mom is sick and in a room full of other sick people. I slugged my legs over the edge of my bed and slowly stood up. I walked over to my pile of clothes and picked up a black tank top and a pair of jeans and put them on. I laced up my shoes and walked out of my cell and over to Carol "hi honey, how are you doing" she asked looking at me. I just shrugged my shoulders and grabbed a plate that had bacon and eggs on it and walked over to the table to take a seat. I looked at my food and pushed some of the eggs around with my fork.

I looked over at Beth who was holding Judith feeding her "Do you want this?" I asked motioning toward the plate of food "are you not hungry" she asked looking from the plate to me. "No not really," I said pushing the plate towards her and standing up from the table, and walking outside.

The bright sun made me squint my eyes a little looking for a certain someone. Spotting him I began my walk to the other side of the yard. "Hey" I called out making him turn around to look at me "Hey," Carl said walking towards me, "My dad told me what happened, how are you feeling?" he asked examining my face "Fine" I looked down at the ground. "Carl you're supposed to be on patrol" Maggie yelled from across the yard catching both of our attention "right," Carl said putting a thumbs up at maggie. "Can I join you?" I asked looking over at him. "Yeah, sure if you want," he said regaining to walk along the fence as I followed behind him.

We walked in comfortable silence for about five minutes till he spoke up. "Im sorry" Carl stated looking over at me. "For what?" I questioned. "I wasn't there for you last night when you were alone and needed someone"

"I wasn't alone, Michonne was there." I looked over at him "I mean I would have liked to have my best friend there" I glanced back down at the ground. He stopped in his tracks and turned towards me. "I know I'm sorry" he hugged me. I embraced him back burying my face in his shoulder. "I just hope she gonna be okay, cause she all I have" I cried allowing tears to stream down my face and wiping them with my hand. As he just rubbed my back soothing me.

I drew back from the hug and smiled at my best friend "Thank you carl". "Of course what are best friends for" he grinned back at me as we began to finish the patrol.

[argetcross]

Hades 2 Session 3 Notes (putting under a cut now because it's getting deeper! For context I got to the third biome boss):

- first off, the joy at defeating Scylla. I feel like I only got to enjoy her song the first time because I got good at killing the instrumentalists but also... the battle was super hard the first three times.

- I like that they are a kind of old school SGG level design, reminds me a lot of Bastion and Transistor. Zag gets to beat up a wrestler, Melinoe is out here punching pop stars. Love to see it.

- I also unlocked the hot springs. And... well....

- so yeah. I mean do I want to join the legions who are madly in love with Odysseus the trickster? ... no. But am I compelled against my will? Of course, it's fucking stupid Odysseus. Of course he's bathed with some goddesses in his time. [Gnawing biting chewing]

- Moros continues to amuse me. Still waiting to see if I feel anything for him.

- NEMESIS. I LOVE HER EVENTS! "Let me punch you." "Let you punch me". My god. A perfect relationship. I'm obsessed, I want to see her all the time and the fact I can't gift her fast enough or like they fight and I love my chance to give nectar is hilarious to me and also sad.

- Chaos got turned into a vtuber and I'm unfortunately into how hot they are. I'm sorry... I am basic and like white hair and ponytails and suits and weird little fetuses 🫠

- I feel like Hecate knows more and isn't telling us stuff. I've gotten to a point in the gameplay where I'm either dying against her which is frustrating or dying in the third biome which is hard. So the gameplay loops feel a little funky.

- Hestia and Hephaestus. I just. I love Hephaestus' design. He's the hottest god easy.

- they've done a good job in that every run has some special event going on now, which makes it exciting. That being said, I'm kind of totally lost on how to optimize builds (don't give me advice, I wanna learn myself) but im definitely kind of all over the place gameplay-wise rn

- the third biome is depressing but honestly one of my favorite so far. The way the spatial design is opened up is so good and I hope thye add more ruined buildings or weird little quirks in the fields as we go.

[alaydabug2]

I freaking HATE being the "Good smart kid"

I used to love it and be proud

But I HATE it now

Context:

I'm the youngest (and only girl) of four siblings

All my brothers are significantly older than me

Like 5, 10 and 13 years

The thing is they're very booksmart

Key word

BOOKsmart

But they don't apply themselves and even try

2 of them were in gifted and beta but they dropped out and didn't care

1 (who has a genius IQ) ended up doing drugs and stealing and ended up in prison

One knocked 2 girls up (one baby mama being legit cray cray) and is a dead beat to both kids

1 nearly dropped out of highschool and us 19 married to a 28 year old with 3 kids (who only really seems to be there for his paycheck)

Well (minus when I was younger) I am the "good child"

I behave do well and apply myself in school

Just got into gifted and starting out freshman year with all honors classes and in beta

I LOVE learning and stuff

But the pressure is getting to be a LOT

Im known by my classmates for being the smart kid and they only really talk to me and include me for awnsers on stuff

They get mad when I try to just help and guide them instead of flat out giving the awnsers

With my parents I'm their "last hope" cause the other three screwed up

I've always been known as the happy little girl and so I don't like crying in front of them because I don't want to worry them

Especially about stupid like this

And I've always done well in school

SO MUCH SO that when I get any sort of grade below a 90 they ask me "are you ok do you need help"

And it makes me feel like I'm not doing good enough (even though they are objectively GOOD GRADES)

Even if they don't say anything when I see anything below a 90 I feel really dissappin in myself

Yeah those jokes about "Oh I did so bad on a test I got a 88"

Yeah that's me

Then furthermore

I just had to miss 2 weeks of the first weeks of school from surgery

And when I got all my makeup work I just had a breakdown because it was SO MUCH to do

First week of high-school EVER in honors

That's a lot

I had a full on BREAKDOWN cause I was stressed out and I didn't want to miss that much school

My mama got upset with me because I was having a freak out (cause I don't usually act like that)

It's not my parents are bad

Not at all whatsoever and love them so so so much

But I feel like I'm not allowed to mess up or get a bad grade now and again because I've always been known for the smart good happy girl

I feel like I can't stray from that in being afraid of dissappinting them and myself

The bar I set myself is so high cause I want to do something with my life because my brothers just dont

I feel like I need to make up for what they didn't do with the potential they had

I don't want them to be sad when I'm lonely at school cause I have friends (I guess)

But I'm not really included in the planning they do (like homecoming) and I don't want to ask to join cause I don't want to be needy and annoying

I'm sure they'd be fine if I did ask but I don't feel like I know them enough to do thay and I don't want to be weird

And when my mama asked me today if they did include me unlike my other school where I just sat and watched I just told her they dud cause I didn't want her to be sad

I literally don't know what's wrong with me

Ik they don't HAVE to be my friend and include me in everything

Thats why I don't ask

Cause they literally DONT have to

I don't want them to feel obligated to either

Cause I've been on that and of the aisle too

And being stuck around someone you don't like but pretend to tk not hurt their feelings sucks

But at the same time.... I just really miss my best friend

I just want to know why I can never get good friends who include me in things and listen

They're either toxic or I'm the pitty friend

Am I really that annoying

But then when I act "normal" and I'm more quiet I just still....

I feel like they don't like me

I've HEARS some of these girls talk about saying others are annoying thay I thought were friends and didn't want to hurt the others feelings

I always get scared I'm that friend

I'd stay by myself but

I CRAVE companionship

Ik some of you are happy to be on your own

But I'm not that

But I'm starting to think feeling lonely is just my best option at this point

I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about it

I don't want tk worry my parents

I'm not gonna go around asking my friends "am I annoying"

By bsf lives an hour away

I just... don't know what to do about anything anymore

[fandomfluffandfuck]

S that latest poll answer makes me sad for you. Did that inspire that fic you wrote about Sebastians body image and thr beetle?

related to my tags on this poll & this fic of mine "The Kids Aren't Alright"

This gets personal and kind of intense, so it goes below the cut!

Trigger warning for discussion of general poor mental health, depression, suicidal ideation/self harm, eating disorders, body image issues, etc.

The short answer is an overwhelming yes.

"The Kids Aren't Alright" was very much something that I wrote because it struck a chord in me--Sebastian talking about his experience with body dysmorphia always hits home for me as a guy with body dysmorphic disorder, and the first time I heard Mackie admittedly very affectionately teasing him, saying he got stuck in the VW Beetle, I was a little horrified, I mean, secondhand embarrassement, imagining embarrasment so vividly it was horrible, really. So, naturally, I had to make it into a fic.

Also, I hope you don't mind, sweets, before going on, I'm adding onto your ask with another that I got even more recently:

youre very generous with what you share, so ignore this if im over the line, but its mens mental health month and that suicidal ideation post made me think of your mental health, whats been your experience with it?? i dont have a lot of men in my life who are willing to share with me, so i thought i would ask you 🥰🥰 please delete this if youre uncomfy tho

which is related to this

Both of you are such sweethearts!

Thanks, though, I don't exactly try to share a shit ton 🤷🏻‍♂️ I guess, eh, being somewhat anonymous in this corner of the internet yet being honest in the form of the spectrum of emotion from raw feral angst to private domestic fluff to shameless shut coaxes me into being so forthcoming? Not that I'm, like, super reserved otherwise, lmao.

I'll start with a short answer again before I go into deeper detail, which is just to say: my experience with it has been rough. I, a queer man, grew up in a small, red town with a very traditional family, so... yeah. It was not fun.

Okay, longer answer now because when given the opportunity, I. will. yap.

I think I will start with masculinity here because I feel as though a lot of my experiences with mental health and issues with my body tie directly into my masculinity. I don't have problems with being a man, I love being a man, it's who I am, I just don't love some of the expectations of being a man on a grand societal and interpersonal level, y'know?

Masculinity, to me, was always presented as the thing you have to be or else. Or else my parents were disappointed; or else the other boys wouldn't like me; or else I felt bad about myself: or else there must be something wrong with me; or else I must be gay; or else.

I have older siblings, and my older brother was in Boy Scouts when we were kids. Both of my parents fucking love the outdoors. So, of course, they loved that. My dad, specifically, spent all his time doing Scouts shit with my brother or organizing similar activities just for them when not at work. (I had a traditional western family unit, my dad worked, my mom was a stay-at-home mom.) And while I do enjoy the outdoors and camping and hiking and all that, just in smaller doses, I never wanted to join Scouts. I nearly immediately attached myself to art, so I just didn't have the interest. I can't do art if I'm outside digging in dirt, fighting with sticks, practicing knots, doing target practice, and backpacking (or whatever else the boys in the troop were doing), can I? That meant, if I wanted to draw or do crafts or something creative, I was inside, and my mom was looking after me and my sister while my dad and brother were out.

That did not sit well with my dad. He wanted me outside, joining Boy Scouts and fixing cars, playing mechanics with my brother. I did not want to. He tried very hard to get me to be as interested in more stereotypically manly activities with him and my brother, and it didn't work.

I'm just more artistic. That was always a clear disappointment.

To add on, as I grew up, I was not physically traditionally masculine, either. I've cracked jokes here and there that I'm not too dissimilar to pre-serum Steve before. It's not far off. I'm about 5'6", a little taller, and skinny.

I grew up waiting desperately for puberty, waiting for my muscles and growth spurt and... it didn't happen. My voice dropped way deep (which meant it cracked wildly and super noticeably, and, of course, I got shit for it), and I enjoyed that. I never had a pressing issue with my dick, I mean, I would hazard a guess that anyone with a dick worries about size at some point just because that's something etched deep in social sexuality, but I had more pressing things to obsess over. Like, at first, when body hair started to kick in, I was psyched to see it, and then it kept coming and suddenly guys in the locker room were pointing it out and making fun of me for being a "little guy" with so much body hair. Puberty also did fuck my face up with acne which destroyed a lot of my self-esteem, too. I had to go on Accutane not once, not twice, but three times. I still have a robust routine to keep my skin clear (but it is clear these days and I'm still reeling thinking about it, it took someone telling me I had really nice skin for me to snap out of it and realize I wasn't still covered with acne, actually. And that was recent!).

I didn't have my pre- to post-serum sudden increase in height and muscle moment, so I continued to feel scrawny and weak. Having pectus excavatum, a birth defect where my sterum curves in instead of going down in a straight line, never helped, either--I got made fun of for that, of course. I remember a comment about how one guy in a locker room wasn't going to dare to hit me/slap me on the back because he would clearly just break me... yeah, that didn't help feeling like the odd one out, unmasculine, fragile, and unattractive.

My self-esteem is much better these days, I will gladly say, but I genuinely used to get sick to my stomach just thinking about what I looked like, never mind actually looking in the mirror. I felt horrible that I had to go out in public and subject people to looking at my face. I'm an avid journal-er, and I have old entries where I just go on and on and on and on about how I felt like a monster. Disgusting and hideous.

It doesn't matter that I know, objectively, that I have a fairly masculine and even an attractive face. My jaw is square, I can grow a beard, I have a deep voice, my eyes are green, I've been very lucky to have straight, white teeth without braces and all that. Plus, people seem to like my cheekbones and curly hair. My voice, too, people seem to enjoy my voice and my mouth. So, evidently, others seem to appreciate my face. So many people spread over so many years have no real reason to lie. I'm complimented. I've not had problems when it comes to dating and relationships or whatever. Yet still, it's just not what I see. I say I know objectively what I look like because I know facts about myself, but I...

I don't really know what I look like, if that makes sense? My reflection shifts a lot, over the years I have had a problem with every part of my face, every part of my body, and I know I can't trust what I see in the mirror. I fixate on things, and it consumes my viewing experience.

Part of the consequences of all... that... all those issues above have been my experience with eating disorders. I've had some fun [sarcastic] mix of orthorexia, binge eating disorder, and anorexia over most of my conscious life. From the moment I was aware of myself and my own body, I've had problems fueling my body. It's a cycle over years and years that's been going on since late elementary school (around 10, 11), where I'm fucking sick and tired of feeling weak and useless and not masculine, so I push myself too hard in the gym and kitchen--working out until I'm physcially ill, blacking out, blistering from running and lifting, I've torn a few things that way, while obsessing with healthy foods at the same time to the point that it's unhealthy. That happens for however long I can take it. Then, eventually, I break. And I get into a cycle of binging that destroys my ability to go to the gym, so it's just binging. Cycles of it, uncontrollable. That morphs into feeling too big and disgusted with myself in the opposite way that I started with, so my brain fixates on restricting. What goes up must come down, though, so with enough of that... then I feel too small again and, yeah. It starts over. 🙃

I have worked very hard to break it with the help of friends and a short lived experience with therapy (he was a terrible therapist, then my insurance stopped covering it, so I couldn't afford to go or find a new one), but I've--dare, I say--gotten into some kind of balance more recently.

To end on perhaps a hilariously on-theme note and something happier, what I have found is that sex helps. Therapy and supportive friends and good environment are obviously irreplaceable. But, sex is good, too. When I was in the thick of all that, younger with my mental health challenges way more out of control, I'm sure I was just getting away from the numbness and hurt--endorphins, oxytocin, y'know, all that.

Then, I'm sure it was added to by the fact that suddenly, with sex, women (I am queer but when I started fucking around, I only felt safe enough to be with women, I didn't think I could be out where I was, and now... that's just the way it's worked out. It happens to have been women) were enjoying me. Enjoying what I could give them. Complimenting me explicitly or implicitly. Saying I'm hot or, clearly, if we're having sex, I'm not so disgusting that you don't want to fuck me.

But, sex helps beyond those rudimentary things, too. Finding kinky people and sex-positive people has inadvertently led me to find body positive people and find examples of real bodies--people really actually enjoying themselves. Spending more time naked is beneficial, too, haha. Slowly, I'm learning to appreciate myself more. This is my body. It's the only one I have to live in, I may as well make peace with it. And I will take the pleasure that my body can give others. I appreciate that I can do that. I like making people feel good, I like having their faith put in me to make them feel good and treat them and their bodies well, like they're desired, or not 😏, depending on what they're into. I want to pull that pleasure out of them. I want to make them feel good, bad, whatever. I want them to feel in their body.

Did that answer the question, lmao? I just rambled 💀💀

[thebest-medicine]

Sorry in advance for the long question 😅

I’m not sure who to tell this to, but I figured that you (or this community, rather) are the only ones who would kind of understand and possibly give me some advice, so here we go:

So I recently went to a gathering at my friend’s house. There were 5 of us there (not including me). None of them know about my thing for tickling. However, I had told one of them that I was ticklish a while an ago (that was very hard to do lol), but nothing more than that had ever occurred that involved tickling up to this point.

When it comes to social gatherings (and just my personality in general lol), I can be a bit shy and introverted. This sometimes results in me secluding myself from the group for short amounts of time. Sometimes when I do this my friends like to come find me and drag me back in to their shenanigans. This time one of my friends (the one that I told that I was ticklish) managed to sneak up on me to get me to join the group again. While I was lying on the couch, flat on my back with my arms above my head, she rushes toward me and, to my surprise, says that she’ll tickle me if I don’t come back and join everyone.

So, naturally, I don’t comply so I can get tickles 😉

Since I was stretched out on the couch, my shirt had risen up a bit to reveal my lower stomach (I didn’t notice this until she started tickling though), creating a seemingly perfect opportunity for tickling. As I braced myself for the oncoming attack, I was very happy for a moment. I hadn’t been tickled in years!

But then that happiness quickly vanished as I realized that…

I wasn’t laughing.

The tickles didn’t tickle me 😞. I was as shocked as my friend.

“I thought you were ticklish” she said.

And I did too. I used to be. How could my ticklishness just have disappeared over a couple years?

My friend continued to try to get me to react for a little bit more time, but the most she got was a small smile and eventually became disinterested.

So yeah. I’m a bit depressed now. I was finally gonna get tickled for the first time in years, but it turns out I’m not ticklish at all anymore.

Have you (or anyone you have known) ever went through a time period where you were less ticklish or barely ticklish at all? Has anyone you know become permanently not ticklish even though they used to be ticklish?

Also, this might be a bit of a dumb question, but are there any ways to increase your own ticklishness? I’m just kinda sad that I might never experience it again 😖😭

Im sorry that it didn’t go as expected / wanted!

I think ticklishness can definitely depend on a lot of things in a situation, there’s lots of stuff lers tend to do to make lees feel more ticklish / sensitive / vulnerable in sessions and it can definitely vary person to person. It can also definitely change over time and depending on who is tickling you..

Thanks for sharing, I’m working now so I can’t go into too much depth but I’d love to open this up to what others have to say and their own experiences! Hope you get to feel much more tickly in the future!

[maraudersalterego]

I have a shit ton of homework I should be doing right now, but at this moment I’m going to address why I, as an author, have decided not to join the jegulus strike.

I want to firstly say that Im super proud of those of you who have decided to join the strike, that’s good for you, and I’m glad you’re making that choice for yourself.

The reason I have decided against joining the strike (there are a few reasons) are as follows

I don’t agree with some of the authors as writers. That’s not to say that they’re bad people, or bad writers, they’ve just made choices I don’t stand behind. I don’t think this is a reason not to join, it’s just something that influenced me.

Im a minor in the fandom. This strike seems to have stricken a chord particularly among the adults in the fandom, again not say that minors can’t join the strike, just a reason I haven’t.

There are more reasons, I won’t address every single one, but I do want to talk about a lot of the adult authors that I’ve seen shitting on the young people in the fandom. I can’t speak for everyone, but I really like the authors of the fandom, not just as authors, but as people. I enjoy their tumblr posts, I understand that they are people, not robots, and I generally want the best for them. It’s really disheartening to see an author that I’ve looked up to for a really long time talking about how we “invaded their fandom” and that “we all need to be woke and morality police them”. It fucking sucks. Us smaller, younger authors have feelings too, and constantly ranting about how much you want us out of your fandom really sucks. I wanted to be just like you, and you don’t even want me here.

Now I’m not saying that these people deserve DEATH THREATS, I’m just saying that yeah, having people you look up to complaining about you hurts a little. I’m still taking a small break, but I don’t consider myself to be a part of no post November.

We really need to be nicer. Everyone needs to band together to stop being assholes. Once again, full respect to everyone participating, you have my blessing (not that you asked) and I think it’s awesome that you’re standing up for yourselves! I also want to say that if you’re hating on people who ARENT participating, you’re part of the problem. You’re not a bad person for choosing to post in November. The fics are for you, post them when you choose. It’s really sad that we’ve come to a strike just for people to treat us like people, but there are so many sides to this that make it hard for me to choose to participate.

In summary (why is this so fucking long 😭) post what you like, when you like. If you don’t like it, just roll your eyes and stop reading. Don’t send death threats, that’s never cool. If you want more updates, tell the author how much you love their work, don’t harass them. The adults in the fandom need to stop shitting on the minors. We just wanted a community, and I agree, some of us are obsessed with being “woke” and I don’t believe in censorship, but it’s really sickening when your favorite people are talking about how much you fucked up their fandom. Full respect to anyone who participates in no post November, and absolute love to anyone who chooses not to. Harassing people for not participating is just as bad as harassing authors, and if you’re doing that you’ve missed the point.

[suffarustuffaru]

hi so im currently coping with my finals by making more playlists to listen to. please take my offerings. yes. its more subaru playlists. the other two i made simply wasnt enough to hold the weight of my brainrot 👍

yes so actually ive spent like the past few years having like private pridebaru and greedbaru playlists to myself so i decided to finally refine them and add them to spotify yep <3 notes under cut.

yeah so in general i tried to have a balance of songs about subaru being Unwell and Not Having A Good Time and songs about subaru being A Horrible Person for the ultimate listening experience👍also if youre not a japanese speaker i once again recommend looking at the lyrics for the japanese songs because theyre very good lyrics ok.

so about greedbaru playlist!!! this is based on the greed if ln by the way yes so the playlist is roughly in order of the events going on there.

"inevitabilis" to "guns for hire": subaru accepts the contract with echidna. also yes i used "a sadness runs through him" again it is like. the quintessential ifbaru song for some of the ifs yes. looked in the wrong place for redemption and all that.

"circles" to "leech boy": greed if's arc 4 happens and everyone is Miserable now <3 "our word" is subaru learning to Gaslight and Gatekeep from echidna. "hole-dwelling" by kikuo marks um. that one scene in the greed if ln where subaru kills dream echidna and then has a mental breakdown over that. yes. "evil angel" is subaru capturing meili. you can probably read the "angel" in the song being either echidna, subaru, or elsa.

"are you satisfied?" and "literary nonsense": arc 4 is over yay!!! surely everything will be fine......

"bitter choco decoration" (by syudou) to "no body, no crime": nvm nothing is fine. this is the arc where clind tries to destroy subaru but subaru. Retaliates. so to speak. "sunset lover" is just referencing subaru's save scumming... "this kingdom is mine" is subaru figuring out the culprit killing him is clind.

"your obedient servant" and "someone gets hurt (reprise)": ottosuba divorce. otto leaves subaru.

"everything stays" to the end of the playlist: subaru establishes the official greed if emilia camp by manipulating felt into leaving + reinhard into joining the faction yay!!! "anger" and "drywall" is in reference to subaru punching a wall remembering otto. and its also referencing greed if subaru having "good" days and "bad" days.

this playlist is a loop if you compare the last two songs with the first two songs.

pride playlist!!! its shorter but still a banger. in my honest and nonbiased opinion. also genuinely i listened to a lot of these while writing pride if fanfic like two years ago so thats also why theyre here HAH.

"once upon a dream" to "open up your eyes": subaru has his whole 88 first arc loops of hell where he keeps trying to brute force killing elsa 👍also i thought itd be horribly funny to put a spin on my mainbaru playlist by putting in "never ever getting rid of me" and "magia" in there alsdjfljsdf

"oh ana" and "hellfire": subaru "meets" reinhard.

"stalker's tango" to "partners in crime": subaru does more pride if things 👍joins the witch cult, makes plans, teams with elsa, etc etc.

"a story told" and "hey there delilah": subaru manipulates ferris. :(( you could probably also see the "delilah" as reinhard or emilia too.

also i use "theyre only human" again - in the greed if playlist its to reference echidna and subaru talking with each other in the dream world / through the crystal. and also because subaru is very Detached from everyone around him. thats also why its in the pride if playlist!! and "a story told" is in both playlists because. well subarus a little mansplain manipulate manwhore.

"death ballet 2nd" to the end of the playlist: yeah subaru burns down the whole country and wins at all his goals. everyone gets fucked :<<

[griffin-wood]

what is grief, if not love persevering?

premise: lya visiting rook's grave after a while. flashbacks and grief became evident in one. (the wayhaven chronicles).

a/n: well, I caved and wrote this to explore more about rook and lya (especially after that b3 ending) , the memories.. and the grief surrounding it, and ghad, it's a good thing that I didn't cry writing it. But, whoever you are; if you're dealing with it also; I hope you're taking care of yourself and you're doing okay. enjoy. ❤️‍🩹

cw: death mentions.

The weather today was on the scale of perfect in wayhaven, the sun shines above her yet, it isn't too hot for the day. She believes everything happens for a reason, either good or bad. But, for Lya; she tends to believe the former.

Her steps quicken at the sight of the cemetery, before she halts to a stop. The tulips in hand, as she takes out her phone. He told her to inform of her arrival, as he'll join her soon enough.

Everything is prepared, as she starts her walk through the city. Spring feels nice, as she makes her way to the local florist in wayhaven. The sight of blooming flowers of the season bring a smile to her face, but the pollen does pull out a sneeze out of her.

She walks slowly, somehow taking her time here. Something about today tells her to slow down, enjoy the sights and she did. The way the sight of the leaves caught her attention as she pass them by, the towns people with their families enjoying the spring day. It's a familiar sight of her, this has become her home for far too long, and the normalcy has been a pleasant sight as of today.

'im here.'

The text bubble immediately appear, as her lips raise into a smile.

'i'll join you soon. stay safe.'

-

She steps into the quiet, as her eyes laid upon the number of tombstones being side by side of one another. Her gaze falls upon an elderly man, placing flowers on top of another grave. The man looks up and meets her eyes, tipping his hat down, as she sends a smile his way.

Her steps were filled with dried leaves, and branches that interrupt her steps. Her tracks stopped at a familiar tombstone, as she kneels down below. Placing the tulips there, and dusting off the leaves over it.

"hey dad." She greeted him, as she always does. The last time she visited was two months ago, she hasn't had time for her usual monthly visits due to work, but thankfully her schedule today has cleared up.

The quiet around her, fills her lungs as flashes of memories was played in the back of her mind. The ones that she could, and try her best to remember of him. Rook. Dad, father, papa. Anything works as she smiles at the fond memories.

"I'm going to big city soon with adam, and honestly - I forgot how it is out there. I don't think I ever left wayhaven, because partly, it's home. And..." She pauses, biting her tears a little before she continues.

"it's closer to you, I never got to see you as much lately. And I'm sorry." She breaths in, and smiles.

"but, I promise we'll be back. It's only for a month, we're going to be saving people - just, like what you've always do too." She says excitedly, that's always a trait she knows she'll share with him.

Her gaze falls upon the area, it's so peaceful. So quiet for her liking, as the old man from before has maybe left for home. Her gazes fall onto the other tombstones, and her heart ache at the loss. This is the reality, nobody lives forever; even forever is just another metaphor as death is the one thing that separates it. The thought bring a sad feeling in her heart, one day she'll be under too. She'll be here too, maybe her kids will visit her if she ever decide to have them.

"and, it's also my birthday today. I treated myself to a cupcake, which I apparently baked myself. Yeah, funny thing I can finally bake now without making a mess everywhere." She chuckles at the statement too, remembering an old memory.

"Mom always doesn't let me play with the kitchen appliances, but I remember we used to do that. She wouldn't always approve, but she smiled when the flour begins to cover our faces instead of the bowls." She recalls a lil bit, and smiles.

The silence that follows feels dreadful, for someone who adores solitude. She remembers old times, maybe something about 5 years ago. The same person, yet her life was different than today. A life she never expected, and today it still changes with everything she discover. Yet, the quiet never gets easier.

She gazes around her, the empty graveyard; a familiar silence yet it breaks her heart to think about it. And as she looks back at her late father's tombstone, she felt her composure falter. The similar feeling she felt when her grandparents passed away, the hollow feeling to know they'll never come back. And the feeling she's feeling with him, with her father; an unresolved grief. All the love she did not know where to place, but she did anyway. She placed all the unresolved love, into her work, into her hobbies, into herself, even into her cupcakes, yet there's still a lot more to give.

She didn't realize, as the tears fell down; staining her vision, as she sobs quietly.

Her phone beeped once again, earning her attention once again.

'Napkins are in the left pocket.' The text from Adam brings a small smile over her face, as she takes it out. He always does pack a spare one for her, it's perfect for an emotional human like herself.

"I think; no matter how long it has been. I don't think I'll ever not cry when I step my foot here. I'll always be your emotional little Lya." She says with a weak smile on her face, and she remembers it too.

-

Lil Lya was wild, she's a firecracker and sweets combined in one. But, when she cries; everyone would stare wondering where did the racket came from? And Rook would come forward, pulling lil Lya in his arms; leaving the premise as he cheers her up either with more candy (shhh, we don't tell mom that!), toys, or maybe music. Whenever she cried, she always try to find him - especially when rook's at work. Rebecca's lullaby's of rook's favorite songs calm her down, as it always did.

"Don't you think she cries too much, son?" Grandma said, to Rook who's holding an crying Lya in his arms.

"Lya is allowed to cry mom, she's my little Lya. And honestly, I don't care because this is the moment where she'll come to me when she cries. I know for sure, when she's grown and wiser; she would tell cry to her friends instead. I think I'll enjoy what I can have right now mom, the sadness, the happiness, the down and ups before she enter the big girl alley where I don't think I'm no longer needed." He explains with a wistful smile, not knowing that his life, was cut short - and he never got to witness his little girl growing up into this wonderful woman.

He holds lil Lya, who's eyes are rimmed with red. The doughnut toy in her hand was held tightly, as he says, "you'll always be my little girl. I'll always here to wipe your tears away okay?" Rook wipes her tears and held her close, as Lya founds herself into a tight embrace, immediately falling asleep in her father's arms and it feels just right.

-

She wipes the remaining tears away, before placing the tulips down. Courtesy of the warehouse gardens, her home away from home. Nate and Farah helped her in compiling and matching the colors, which she appreciates it very much.

"Here's some flowers, from the family in the agency dad. Farah and I picked the colors, but I hope you like them." She says, her fingers tracing the tombstone. Smiling weakly, before standing up again.

The footsteps were heard pulled her attention, away; as Adam stands by the entrance. In his jacket, as he waited for her. She nods his way, and this is her cue to leave.

She takes a deep breath, before saying.

"Its time we say goodbye again, dad. I'll have to leave for the city soon, but we'll be back okay? I love you, and I miss you." Lya says, before saying her farewell to him. There's a hint of sadness fills her lungs, but it's good to come back here. And, the heaviness on her shoulder has been released, the stricken grief within her heart was cured through the little things, however; it can't be cure forever.

But, with all the love that originate from grief, becomes a motivator to move forward. To love, to live, to open up, and she's trying her best to do all of that. For the sake of herself, and her father too. She knows he would want her to continue to live; continue living despite everything.

And as she stop to meet his eyes, gentle green eyes met with her brown ones. She knows she had lived, one for the greatest adventures and she wishes, her dad was here to see her alive, and well.

Deep down, she knows; he's watching after her. Every step of the way, and that belief keeps her going every day for the rest of her life, as the man in front of her hold his arm out to her.

"ready to go?" Adam says gently, as Lya turns to face rook's gravestone once again. She smiles, before nodding taking his hand.

"as ready as I'll ever be." And then she left to the unknown, with her heart more full than ever.

THE END.

[ermbabyel]

Hello! I don't know if you are still up for it but would you want to do a matchup exchange? I apologise I'm only familiar with jjk and mystic messenger if you want a matchup so feel free to ignore this! If not though could I please get a jjk matchup?

Heres some stats abt me lol:

Im deedee, im 20, she/her, straight so an adupt male jjk would be awesome haha. I'm also a Sagittarius:). I love music of any genre. Horror movies and horror video games, chocolate and sweet stuff, animals, woodland all that good stuff! I am quite sporty I swim in lakes, gymnastics, dancing, roller skating.ice skating, hiking or walking they are all good ways to relieve stress and listen to music haha. I do love to sing but I don't think I'm very good and I love learning things but my uni tells me I'm not very smart haha so I don't think I'm good at transferring skills but I try to stay positive and not dwell on sad things! I think I struggle to accept love but my ways of showing love would be gift giving or acts of service but I don't like it when people do them back to me if that makes any sense im quite independent and minimalist. I think I match people's energy but I'm quite introverted so I don't actively seek company but I try to enjoy it when invited. I don't really have an ideal type just someone who could understand me because I think I struggle to understand myself at times haha so I worry I might be tough to handle but yeah I try to make people laugh and join in. Oh I also like someone who is up for late night walks or drives like a bit of adventure or fun. Hope that's okay :)

Hello~! Thank you so much for your request! I had so much fun with this exchange and I hope you enjoy your matches as well~ ☺️

All the pictures/gifs and borders are not mine, credit to the owners~

Your Obey Me Lover is…Satan~

-I could also see you as a match for Levi, but ultimately I think you and Satan will be such a cute match~

Sagittarius and Libras are very compatible with each other! Even though Satan is an air sign he has a bit of a fiery personality, which I believe you can balance that side of him~.

Even though Satan appears cold and closed off, but deep down he has a more softer and endearing side that only you have been able to break through.

This man LOOVES animals (especially cats), so I can see him coming home with a random cat that he found while on his walk.”so I found this kitten…I couldn’t just leave them out in the cold. I’m not sure what to do, Deedee 🥺” He sulks about not being able to keep them, but as soon as you give him the ok to keep the kitty…you can see his blue eyes brighten up~! But he’ll try to be more nonchalant about his excitement lol. “Really?!…I mean…this would be a nice addition to the family, don’t you think Deedee?” (You can totally see right through his poker face LOL)

He’s definitely the type to hand feed you LOL. Will give you handmade speciality chocolate just for you and will insist on feed you~ “Darling, I got you these chocolates that I think you’ll like. Just relax and let me take care of you. Now, open wide for me?”

I think satan is also a bit introverted, so both of you can relate to each other in that aspect. I can picture a cute scene with you both sitting in the couch or laying in bed together. You would be sprawled across his chest, feeling content as you listen to his soft voice read his latest book he’s been into.

Your lover in JJK is…Satoru GoJo~

I think they saying of “opposites attract” works in this relationship~

I know this man has a it of an ego, but I firmly believe he would be such a good partner! Sure, GoJo is still going to tease you to death, but he doesn’t in an endearing way. Always playfully apologizing when he notices you get annoyed “Honey Muffin, don’t look at me like that…I’m sorry. Come give me a kiss pls 👉🏻👈🏻” and then he peppers your face in kisses just hear hear your sweet laugh 🥹.

I think Gojo is a bit more on the athletic side also. So he is totally down to do whatever physical activities you want. You want to take a morning jog? Gojo has a route lined out just for you both. Thinking about going to the skating rink for the after noon? This man absolutely has matching skates with you! Although, he might have to hold onto you the first ten minutes of skating around. He is the most strongest sorcerer, but he isn’t the most agile on wheels lol.

Is the type to give you some ridiculous/cringy nicknames, but all for love! For example, honey muffin, snuggle bear, my little honey bunches…the list is endless…

Will be so overjoyed when you surprise him with a gift that he’s been wanting for so long! “Honey muffin, you got this for me? How did you know I’ve been wanting it?…I’m a bit obvious, huh? This is why you’re the best, snuggle bear~ 🥰”

Gojo may seem a bit of an airhead when it comes to emotions and vulnerability, but I think if it’s coming from someone he loves…he will be so soft for them. He’s not perfect (even though he thinks he is…😅) but he will try his absolute best to understand you and give you the strength you need to get through hard days. You also don’t have to worry about being too much for Gojo…in fact, I think he’s a bit too much at times. Gojo loves you with all his heart and just wants to see you happy 🥹.

(Such a beautiful man ;-;)

Your Lover in Mystic Messenger is…Zen~

I find it so funny we matched each other with Zen lmao. But I think you two would make a super cute couple as well~! 🥰

Sagittarius and Aries are also very compatible signs. (I may have a bias for Aries though…Aries men are just *chefs kiss*). We definitely see Zen fiery side in the game, especially when it comes people he loves and that includes you~

This man will looooove to listen to you sing…he will BEG for it if he has to! I can imagine Zen being pouty when you refuse and pester you on why you won’t sing for him…”honeyyyyy, please sing for me. If I don’t hear the sweet voice from my lovely angel, I will simply pass away”. Sure he can be a bit dramatic, but the man just wants to hear his sweet angel’s voice after a stressful day!

Also a very athletic man. He has to keep up his physique for his roles and would love to go on more active dates with you. He’s also your #1 hype man and always brags about how gorgeous his girl is, especially to Yoosung. He’ll definitely tease Yoosung when it comes to relationships, it’s happened before and Zen won’t stop lol. “See, Yoosung? If you keep up a nice physical routine and charming personality you can end up with a gorgeous woman like my Deedee~” This man is head over heels for you!

Even though I view Zen as being more of an Extrovert, I think he can also be a little introverted at times. He’s constantly running around between auditions, practices, shows and events that it wears the man down sometimes. During those times, he’s more than happy to just be lazy on the couch, cuddled up while watching a movie with you. Although sometimes he’ll actually recommend a horror movie to make you think he’s not scared at all. He’s a man, he can be scared of some silly ghost on the screen…yeah, he’s totally scared. But that’s why he has you to huddle behind and grip onto when a jumpscare takes his soul lol.

Will definitely take you on late night rides on his bike. But he will be so careful and gentle with you. “Sweetie, remember to wear your helmet and elbow/knee pads when we’re on the bike. I know you know, but I just want to make sure not a single scratch touches your pretty little head~! *muah!*” (ugh I love you two together so much 🥹)

All and all just a very sweet, love sick relationship between you two~!