#yeah it also might be just neglect from the film's team

[littlekirpichi]

the round table from httyd 1 was replaced by a regular one in httyd 3

like, Stoick's rule was depicted to be more democratic in nature than Hiccup's, more like in Athens or Novgorod. Hiccup on the other hand is shown to hold council only with those few chosen ones and then just announce everything to his subjects. yes, subjects, because here we can see an early form of monarchy. i don't know what motivated them to evolve their political status. maybe, the sheer amount of people and dragons, that would be nearly impossible to manage with the older form of government. who knows.

but just imagine what crisis is waiting for them. they still all dine in the main hall, as if they are still equal - but they're not. the chief is further and further away from the Hooligans, and they notice that, but he's still treated like equal - which he isn't. it's like witnessing a transition of Roman republic to Roman empire (a bit of a stretch, but you get my point)

[r1999-transcript]

A Nightmare at Green Lake 18 - A Cliché Photograph

Tooth Fairy: Are you suffering from the headache again?

Z: Me? No, I’m not.

Tooth Fairy: You shouldn’t lie to a doctor.

Z: Fine. A bit, just a bit. Some warm water will help. I don’t need those … those things. I don’t dislike your tooth fairies. It’s the texture that creeps me out. I’ve tried multiple times. You know how it ended.

Tooth Fairy: Don’t worry. I have some drugs for humans. Wanna try?

That is another option for arcanists who find it hard to swallow those humanoid fairies.

Z: Oh? That’s surprising. Thank you.

Tooth Fairy: How about the future of those kids?

Madam Z casts a glimpse at the backseat and sighs.

Z: Are you talking about the deer girl, or Joshua, the troublemaker?

Tooth Fairy: You can tell me one by one. It’s a long trip back to the headquarters. We’ve plenty time to chat.

Z: Joshua will pay for what he did. Absence from duty without permission is a severe violation of the regulations. He will face a demotion and be grounded for three to five months. Of course, I’ll apply for leniency for him, but I think it won’t make much difference. We don’t have many means to help him. Vertin might be a good choice.

Tooth Fairy: You mean assigning him to Vertin’s team?

Z: Exactly. If we can make Vertin apply for that … He’ll be put through a much milder punishment. After that, he’ll be free to leave with Vertin.

Tooth Fairy: This is a good idea. How about Jessica, the deer girl?

Z: She … She needs to receive some education to become adequately socialised. Based on her result of the amended Arcanists Risk Evaluation Chart, this little girl is very dangerous. We rescued nine hostages from her cage. Three are from the film crew. The other six are from the student expedition team that went missing six months ago.

Tooth Fairy: The validity of that chart is debatable, for it doesn’t have a sufficient number of questions to draw a conclusion.

Z: Yeah, when we arrive at the Foundation, we will give her a more comprehensive test. But that doesn’t mean that she’ll get a higher grade. We all know that the amended version tends to overestimate examinees.

Tooth Fairy: Can I visit her while she’s in the Foundation?

Z: Of course, chatting with someone familiar is conductive to embracing the community. You don’t need to worry too much about her. We’ll treat her the right way. The arcanum shown on her is of a very unique kind, and she’ll be helpful in many experiments.

Tooth Fairy: That’s good. But I still have one more question.

Z: Go ahead, doctor.

Tooth Fairy: Members from the Zeno also participated in the rescue. Did you call them to come?

Z: Yeah, this should have been their responsibilities. To be more precise, all of these problems were their fault.

Tooth Fairy: Are you talking about the missing of their Youth Force?

Z: What? No. But, wait, what missing Youth Force?

Tooth Fairy: The myth that Zeno Youth Force disappeared overnight at the Green Lake Campsite. Haven’t you ever heard of that?

Z: No, never! Where did you hear that?

Tooth Fairy: Joshua told me.

Z: He is just a young man, impulsive, and can’t tell a story from a fact. Why would you believe … Never mind. Back to the business. By the end of the ‘50s, Zeno found a bunch of critters with unique appearance in the woods near the Green Lake Campsite. As they continued to investigate, they found that special moss in the woods that can trigger changes in appearance. In order to conduct further research, they built a campsite and held some camping activities as disguise from time to time. The critters mutated and evolved very fast. Meanwhile, the town prospered, and the nearby population soared. After several incidents of attacks on local residents by fled critter subjects, Zeno decided to move the campsite out of that area. That deer girl was neglected during the moving. She was left at the Green Lake and kept on secretly living there till now. Other critters that escaped have hybridised with the local breeds and hence created the new critters you’ve encountered. They more or less carry a lineage of changelings, which are very hard to deal with. But thank God, you’ve brought this girl under control.

Tooth Fairy: Jessica has been like their … friend, or leader.

Z: I think she is more like a leader, or even a master to them. Zeno conducted military training to the first batch of critters, so they are more obedient than others. Your Jessica is like … their commander. She gives orders to the critters at the bottom of the lake through a radio hidden in the remote control so that they act in precise alignment.

Tooth Fairy: … So you knew the truth of the Green Lake Campsite from the beginning?

Z: It was Zeno’s idea to clean up the mess with the Foundation. They contacted me before … Huh! If you could’ve asked me earlier, like before you departed, we wouldn’t have to go through so much trouble.

Tooth Fairy: Kids were ignorant for lack of knowledge, yet adults were ignorant for their cognitive inertia. In a story where truth and falsity are mingled together, it is hard to tell which is which.

Z: What did you say?

Tooth Fairy: Nothing, nothing important. Have you heard of what happened to my brother?

Z: Huh? Your brother? What happened to him?

Tooth Fairy: Do you know how his teeth disappeared?

Z: Ummm. I don’t want to offend anyone, but wasn’t it because of the curse of the tooth fairies?

Tooth Fairy: Heh heh.

Z: What? What are you laughing at?

Tooth Fairy: Nah, nothing. As for my brother, I will tell you more later. Hush now. Give me my camera.

Tooth Fairy turns around, leans over her seat, and presses the shutter. The children are leaning against each other and sleeping in peace. That’s the end of the horror story, which is not that horrible, though.

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun

iv.xlxi. (a,m)

trigger warning: mentions of abortion

The time when Jaehyun filmed his drama just didn't go by. It was getting harder for you every day. It wasn't easy with the four children either, but most of all you miss your husband. When you heard the door open in the evening and Jaehyun came to bed with you, you never wanted to leave him again. "You're finally here," you whisper and put your lips on his. The kiss was so comforting and full of missing that you didn't want to let go of him. But at some point Jaehyun broke away from you. "I'm so exhausted." He put his head on the pillow and sighed. You stroke his hair and hope he doesn't fall asleep right away. It was the only time you had together at the moment. You just lie down next to him and put your hand on his torso. "I miss you," you whisper to him and look up. "I miss you too and the children, I really don't see them anymore." Jaehyun was still plagued by a guilty conscience. "Hopefully it won't be that long." You sit up and sigh. "Yeah ... hopefully ..." To Jaehyun it felt like an eternity. You then sit on his lap and put your hands under his shirt. You finally wanted to feel love again. You lacked the feeling of lust, of passion. You didn't remember when you last had sex. It was clearly too long ago. "Y/N ..." He gently grabbed your wrists and looked at you sadly. "The children are asleep and we finally have some time for ourselves." You grab his waistband, but Jaehyun stopped you. "I'm really totally tired, I can't do anything today." He stopped you from doing your thing, but you didn't want to give up so easily. You were greedy and you wanted him. You were actually sure that if you would make the start, then he would be quickly convinced. "I'll do most of the work, just relax ..." You smile and slowly and carefully pull down his pants. Most of the time when you were at this point he was a little hard, but this time it was nothing. "Y/N...I don't know..." Jaehyun didn't mean to disappoint you, but he knew his performance wouldn't work down here. But you wanted to try it, you couldn't believe it. You start to take him in your hand, spread a bit of spit along his length and with pressure you move your hand up and down. But there was still no reaction from him. "Y/N ... I ..." He was uncomfortable now because he totally failed. But you wanted to do him something good and you also wanted to experience a few highs yourself. So you draw your last card and put his length in your mouth. Your whole torso leaned down and your butt was up. You wanted to give everything, you couldn't believe that he couldn't be persuaded somehow. But sucking a limp cock really wasn't easy. He was still very soft and it was difficult to stimulate it in this state. You press your lips together, lick his tip and massage his testicles. And as much as you try, he just didn't get hard. This whole thing then became uncomfortable for Jaehyun. He was tired and still under the pressure that he couldn't get hard. "Y/N, stop it." His voice sounded harsher than expected. You look up in surprise and somehow you didn't know how to deal with the situation. You sit up and look at him desperately. You didn't have any bad intentions, but you just wanted affection and love from your husband. You were also stressed out by all of this and you just wanted to take some stress off with him. "I don't mean that, but I'm just tired. The day was exhausting today." "Do you think my day wasn't exhausting today?" You were kind of hurt and disappointed. "Yes, but ... Y/N, I was really busy today." Jaehyun tried to justify himself, but you shake your head. "And should it continue like this for the next few weeks. Should we as a married couple give us up completely?" You didn't know what to think because it was all so confused. "No, but I ..." "Don’t you miss me?" You look at him with glassy eyes and cross your arms. "I miss you, but I can hardly ..." He couldn't go on talking. He was ashamed of himself that he was so limp today and couldn't get hard. "Anyway, leave it. I'm sleeping somewhere else today." You got up and left the bedroom. You didn't want to see or hear Jaehyun. You were disappointed that he hardly found time for you. You knew the drama was draining him a lot of time and energy. But it was all too much. He was hardly there, you were alone with the kids and he was kissing some beautiful actress on the set. Your jealousy was still something very present and you could hardly let go of it. Maybe this time it was you who ruined the relationship?

When you wake up in the morning, Jaehyun was long gone. You had only heard him briefly, but then he went straight to the garage. In the morning you visit Johanna and wanted to know how she was doing after the abortion. When you two were at the doctor, it was just quiet. You didn't talk and you just try to stand by her. But now days had passed and you hope she was better. Johanna was off that day and had the children with her too. This allowed your children to hang out while you chatted. "How are you?" You ask concerned and Johanna looked at you annoyed. "Don't come on me like that ..." she sighed and admonished you. "What?" "You feel sorry for me." Johanna shook her head and looked again at the children. "No, I'm worried. An abortion isn’t easy. It is an invasion of your body." Johanna went through so much the last few years and she had severe depressions, of course you are worried about how she deals with it. "Yes ... it wasn't easy ..." Johanna lowered her head and grabbed her stomach briefly. It was weird that she wasn't pregnant anymore. "But I feel so much relief ... I feel freer ..." Johanna sometimes felt bad for her thoughts, but for a long time she felt as if she could breathe again without problems. "I'm glad you're feeling better now." You smile and stroke her hand. At that moment Johanna was so grateful for your confidence and touch that she hadn't felt alone for a long time. Even when she was with Johnny, she often felt alone. But now she had her life under control again and she could think clearly again. She had her two children, her new job, her own apartment and a good friend like you. She never thought, neither did you, that your friendship would one day become so intimate. "How are you? It seems like something is bothering you." Johanna looked at you and you stroked Geon's head, who was sitting on your lap. "It's so hard right now that Jaehyun is never there." You sigh and look down at your son. "How are you doing with your jealousy?" Johanna knew about your problem and you couldn't say that you were better. "Bad. Oh my god Johanna, I'm going crazy." You throw your head back and you want to scream. Then you put your hands on Geon's ears and start whispering. "I need sex so badly, I can hardly take it anymore. Shit I just want him to grab me, fuck me wild and I cum so hard again that I forget my own name." You were really desperate. "Wow, how long has it been for you?" Asked Johanna, surprised. "Far too long, I don't know anymore. I think since he started filming the drama again." You sigh and take another sip of your coffee. "Hmmm .... okay ..." Johanna doesn't know what to say either. "I'm so horny as I haven't been in a long time. And what the dildo gives me is no longer enough anymore." Johanna had to laugh, because in the beginning you didn't want the thing and now you were glad that you had something to stimulate you. "Can't nobody take care of the children? You can sleep in a hotel for a night and have a good fuck again." Johanna's idea wasn't bad, but there was a problem. "I've already suggested that, but he wants to spend his free time with the children. Which I understand because he doesn't see the children from Monday to Friday." You sigh and were really desperate. "The disadvantage of being married to a good father," said Johanna with a wink. "Am I selfish?" You suddenly ask her and turn to her. "What?" Johanna didn't understand what you mean. "I'm selfish. I want Jaehyun to do something with me without his children for a day and only look after us." You lower your head and you feel bad. Maybe you were too hard on him. "No, you are still a married couple, you need time together." "But we have toddlers, we have to be there for them. They come first." "But you need time together so that you can become stronger as a team and also so that you don't go crazy. You shouldn't neglect yourselves, otherwise you'll end up like me and Johnny." You lean back and don't know what to say or think. Have you been selfish? Should you demand something like this? Was sex really that important? Should you care more about your marriage? You didn't know what was right or wrong anymore ...

In the evening Jaehyun still didn’t come home. It was the usual time, but he just didn't come. Tears came to your eyes, your pulse was high and you did not know how to act. Are you overreacting? Or were you allowed to claim time? But at the same time you miss him. At the same time you were plagued by jealousy. The next moment you take the remote control and turn off the television. You try to sleep a little, because in four hours Kiwoo would wake you up because he is hungry. You lie alone in the big bed. It felt so lonely. A shiver ran down your spine and a sob overwhelmed you. Why were you so full of emotions? Why did you come to tears so quickly? At some point you managed to doze off a little, but you always startle. You reach aside and Jaehyun still wasn't there. You were beginning to worry that something might have happened. You sit up and look at your phone. No message. No phone call. You dial his number, but no one answered. You write him to call you and try to lie down again. But still nothing came. You toss and turn, can't sleep, and start worrying. What if he had an accident? You fell apart in an argument and you would never forgive yourself if something happened now. You feel incredibly guilty. Everything contracted inside you and you are getting closer and closer to a panic attack. You call him again and again. You write to him too, but there was never an answer. At some point it was 3 o'clock in the morning. You go into the kitchen and make yourself some tea. Your pulse was still high and you had thousands of scenarios in your head and you plan to go to the police in the morning. Or that you call Johnny quickly so you can go to the police station and he'll take care of the kids. You didn't know what to do. Maybe you should just call the local police and see if something happened. You take your iPad and look for the number, when suddenly the front door opened. You look over and see how Jaehyun struggled to take off his shoes. He just threw the jacket down and almost fell to the floor. You look at him in disbelief. Did that really happen? "Are you still awake?" He slurred and looked at you in amazement. His cheeks and nose were red and he was having a hard time standing up straight. "Why didn't you answer your phone?" You were done with your nerves, you couldn't sleep. Jaehyun took his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. "Oops ..." He saw the calls and messages, but due to his high alcohol level he didn't realize what was happening. "I just can't believe it ..." You didn't even know what to say anymore. You were disappointed and angry. At some point you just turn around even more and go up the stairs. "Y/N ... are you still angry?" You couldn't stand Jaehyun's streak of alcohol. You wonder why he even made it up the stairs. "Yes," you hissed back angrily. "Come on ... it's not that bad ..." You roll your eyes and you couldn't even listen to him anymore. "You could have called, I was worried." You turn to him and look at him disappointed. The tears were gathering in your eyes and it was hard to hold you back. "I didn't look at my phone. Sorry ..." He snorted and tried to be cute, but that only annoyed you. "I thought something happened to you." You take his bedding and cling tightly around it. "I thought you had an accident. FUCK! Jaehyun, I wanted to go to the police. You always call me when it gets late. ALWAYS!" You throw the bedding at him and your sobs got louder and louder. Jaehyun looked at you confused and his drunken brain found it difficult to process all of this. "I don't want you with me. You sleep somewhere else. I don't care where." You push him out of the bedroom and slam the door. Jaehyun looked at the closed door, the bedding in his hand and only the next day will he realize what just happened here.

daddy jaehyun masterlist

[juniorgman187]

Love & Other Drugs (Spencer Reid Imagine) Part 1

*not my gif

Summary: Toxicologist Reader meets her match in the ever intriguing Doctor Reid. Category: Fluff Couple: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Content Warning: drug addiction, love addiction, neglect Word Count: 4.1k

This is going to be a two-part series. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Love is an addiction.

Not only is there behavioral evidence that suggests love can be addictive, but thanks to recent studies, we also have neurochemical and neuroimaging evidence to support the theory. Multiple feel-good chemicals are released when we are in love. These include dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.

The roots of love addiction extend back to early childhood. A history of abandonment, neglect, or inadequate/ inconsistent nurturing can lead to a love addiction. Like other addictions, a love addiction is often the result of insecure attachment patterns.

It may sound strange to equate love with addiction. After all, love is perhaps the most positive of emotions; it results in many health benefits and has life-lengthening effects. It may only be, then, that a dysfunctional relationship to love is necessary in order to consider a person "addicted."

Love is like a drug and we don't care about the long term side effects; we just care about how high we can get.

So with that being said . . . how high could I get?

A question that I would soon find the answer to following a visit from the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. 

“I’m Agent Hotchner. We spoke on the phone briefly.” 

The dark-haired man with the gentle eyes and dimples greeted. I recognized his voice, despite it being deeper in person. No complaints, though.

“So what was it you needed a toxicology report on?” 

Fully expecting the same gentleman to respond, a younger man behind him cut into the conversation, answering for the agent.

“This cloth,” He dangled the evidence bag in front of my face and practically let it drop when I took it from him, rather than making sure the bag landed safely in my hands like he should’ve given the fact that this was something vital to their case. So valuable, even, they requested to have the results expedited. 

“I suspect it’s chloroform, but they said we should bring it to a professional to be sure.” He finished his statement by pursing his lips into a thin, straight line, which oddly enough, I think was his version of a smile, and a not very agreeable one at that. 

Simply by the way he handed me the evidence bag and the tone of his voice as he said, “professional,” like the word stung his tongue and tasted like acid, I knew he was offended that he wasn’t deemed fit to analyze the chemical on the cloth. He surely thought of himself in the highest regard and to ask for help from someone else, much less a woman, was insulting to him. I was certain that he wasn’t doing this out of his own will, but that his superior most likely assured him it was just a precaution so as not to bruise that fragile ego. I had a feeling the only person he would listen to was a male superior, most likely from the absence of a proper one. A father. 

I could be a profiler, too, you know?

“Great. I’ll let you know what I find when I’m done.” 

“I’ll come with you.” 

I should’ve anticipated he’d have the audacity to invite himself as if this was a social gathering of some sort, which it was most certainly not. If anything, it was degrading to me that he insisted he come. Like he didn’t trust me to be on my own, like he was doubting my intelligence. I didn’t need a babysitter, chaperone, or supervisor, and I was going to make sure he knew that. 

“What’s your name again?” I asked, merely as a subliminal reminder that if he had said his name, I forgot it within seconds because he was that forgettable. 

“Dr. Spencer Reid.”

He didn’t ask for my name in return, and I had to ponder if it was his way of saying that he just didn’t care. How classy of him. 

Two can play that game. 

When he stepped foot into my beloved lab, or my lair as I liked to call it, I could feel the environment being tainted with his passive-aggressiveness, and I almost wanted to push him right back out the door so the dark cloud in the room would leave with him, but I settled for a kinder approach, politely asking if he could wear the appropriate protective gear if he insisted being so close to the chemical - the chemical I was to inspect. Again, the chemical I was to inspect - me. Not him - me. 

“No, it’s alright. I’ll just be right here.” 

I suppose his refusal to abide by my simple precaution of wearing a coat, goggles, and gloves was made up for by his promise to maintain a distance away from me, so I didn’t push the topic any further out of fear that he might change his mind and come closer and meddle with my space. I had my own personal bubble around me and I would go feral if he invaded it, whether it was knowingly or unknowingly. 

We’d spent probably two hours or so there in silence, which I quite liked, but I couldn’t help but notice how often he’d excuse himself to leave for the bathroom. I let it slide since I was too busy with my toxicology report anyway, and why would I complain about those few extra minutes of peace I got when he was away?

“This is so old fashioned,” I said in sheer awe as I inspected the small square of fabric that had clearly been doused with a euphoriant. “I haven’t seen this being used as a sedative since like the 1920s in those soundless black and white movies.” 

I was too engaged with the findings of my microscope to pay attention to the “info-dump” that was brewing from the lanky doctor so it came as a shock to me when all that I had said in light of the situation would be refuted with facts. 

“Actually, Chloroform was a popular anesthetic from the mid-1800s to around 1900, mostly around the time of the Civil War - not the 1920s.” 

I pulled my eye away from the lens of the microscope to inspect the speaking specimen. He looked quite proud of himself for knowing and saying what he did, and for that, I was almost perturbed all the more by his bravado, but given his physical stature, I suppose the skill of his brain was how he compensated for what he lacked in appearance, so I let it pass to boost his ego. 

“Yeah, I was never really a history buff. I guess that’s why I got degrees in Chemistry and Toxicology instead.” Hitting him right back with that pursed-lip smile at the end, mirroring his own. 

My comment didn’t settle well, and I could tell from the way he scratched at his arm like my words were making him itchy as they seeped into his skin. But I liked to make people uncomfortable, as awful as that sounds. Yet I had a sneaking suspicion, I wasn’t the true cause for why he was itching his arm.

“But um, you . . . you were actually right about the silent films. Those were exceedingly popular in the 1920s.” 

His sheepish words seemed to suggest a surrender. As if he was giving me the satisfaction of knowing I was right about something so that I might not be closed off to him entirely, which I was most certainly not, even if it seemed like it. He might have aggravated me slightly with his coldness, but he was arguably the most interesting character out of that team, and I had a feeling he didn’t usually act like this. 

Antsy, fidgeting. 

Unkempt in appearance. 

Often lost in thought. 

Depressed breathing. 

Pinpoint pupils. 

The signs were all there, but that wasn’t what surprised me. I was just surprised that in a team of profilers, no one else seemed to notice him and his addiction, and if they did - they just didn’t care. 

“What drugs are you on?” 

I asked bluntly with a slight head tilt to deepen the notion of my harmless curiosity to which he definitely misinterpreted as a harmful curiosity. I was never one to address things with subtlety and grace, but it seemed like a waste of time to approach this situation with any other attitude than candidness. If my intuition was correct, which I knew it was, he was months into his substance abuse and at this rate, if he wasn’t receiving any help, he’d need to soon. 

“Excuse me?”

“I may not be a profiler, but I’m a toxicologist and I can tell when someone’s on drugs in the same way you can tell when someone’s lying - through studying their behavior. And so far, I’ve noticed that the left cuff of your shirt is unbuttoned, which makes sense considering you’re right-handed, giving you easier access and making it faster to inject whatever it is your taking, but I should warn you - you’re not fast enough. Even though your ‘visits’ to the bathroom have shortened minute by minute, I haven’t been blind to the fact that you’ve gone there at least five times since you’ve been here, and don’t even bother lying. I know you aren’t peeing because you haven’t touched that cup of coffee or the bottled water whatsoever. So let me ask you again - what drugs are you on?”

From the baffled look on his face, I could tell he had never met his match. 

Not until now. 

His eyes were narrowing in on me darkly, and I feared to see his “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” duality, but I was also curious if the oncoming switch in personality would reveal anything more to me about what he was using. However, that was quickly cut short by his sudden burst out of the room, giving me no opportunity to see his fit of rage unfold, and I had to believe that he knew if he stayed a second longer, I would’ve easily been able to distinguish the drug he was on. I wouldn’t put it past him, he was smart enough, that much I could admit. 

I followed him with my eyes as he flew out of the lab, dodging the stupefied Agent Gideon. 

“Reid?” Gideon called out to him, as if he was a dad checking on his hormonal teenager, but neither I, nor the agent, heard a response back. 

Now, turning his attention back to me, Agent Gideon entered the lab, clapping his hands together and rubbing them together in anticipation, completely disregarding what happened only moments ago. It wasn’t even like he was truly uncomfortable and trying to brush it aside so that I wouldn’t be uncomfortable, it just genuinely seemed like he didn’t care. He didn’t feel the need to bring any more attention to the situation, but judging from his reaction, I had doubts on if there had been any attention being paid to the doctor’s drug addiction - ever. 

“So, what do you got for me?” 

“Two things - first, this is clearly Deuterated Chloroform, which is an isotopologue of Chloroform with a single deuterium atom. CDCl 3 is a common solvent used in NMR spectroscopy-” I paused when I realized my toxicology jargon was flying right over his head. “So in other words, this type of Chloroform can daze or knock out people even when it's consumed in small doses.”

“And the second thing?”

Without missing a beat, I asked, “What’s up with that guy?”

His hands unfolded to reach out on either side of him in a shrug as a sign of incomprehensiveness. “Spencer?” He finally pointed with his thumb to the door, which Dr. Reid had just stormed out of. 

I nodded. 

“Ehh, I prefer to leave it alone.” He threw his hands up in surrender, but I wasn’t about to let him maintain his attitude of ignorance. 

“Why? Isn’t it better if he talks about it? I mean, it’s obvious there’s something going on. He’s clearly displaying habits of an addict.” 

The room was shot dead with silence. I could tell he couldn’t believe I’d just said that so bluntly, addressing what I assumed he had yet to even come to terms with. 

“Agent Gideon, I mean this as no insult to you, but I’d surely hope that, even as someone that analyzes behavior for a living, you were sincerely unaware of his addiction and not deliberately avoiding addressing it only because it makes you uncomfortable. Addiction is a very common thing, more common that people would like to believe, and I would hate for Dr. Reid to feel that he’s alone in a room full of people that could help him - that should help him. Or that he can’t turn to any of you without being treated like he's a victim in one of your cases.” 

I wasn’t exactly sure which of my words was the one that crossed the line, but I knew, as a whole, I ventured far beyond the boundary. He didn’t even answer me verbally, but his body language did the talking, and if I heard it correctly, he was dumbfounded by my audacity. 

“You have a good day, Miss.” He finally said with a forced smile, while snatching the evidence bag from my hand. 

Amicably, I had to let it go the minute Agent Gideon left my lab. I shouldn’t care more about the doctor’s wellbeing than his own coworkers, than his own team - than his own family. And even though I was incredibly passionate about proper drug use, I couldn’t be too invested in the care of Dr. Reid. At least not until he started caring about me, too. 

After my minor back-to-back confrontations, I was more than ready to go home. Once I cleaned my station and removed my gear, I was out the door. When I got to the parking lot, I saw that on either side of my car, there were two black SUVs I’d never seen here before. The government license plates were all that I needed to see to come to the conclusion that they belonged to the BAU. Having just instigated something with both Spencer and Agent Gideon, I knew I had to leave before they did, otherwise I might risk running into them, which would’ve been utterly humiliating. 

It was the sudden chirp of familiar voices that caused me to bolt into my car and try and start it, but naturally, buried somewhere within the Bermuda Triangle that was my purse were my keys, and I couldn’t find them in time.

“Hey, I’ll catch up with you guys later.” I faintly heard from behind me. 

Keys! Keys! Keys! Where are you?

With animalistic speed, I rummaged through my purse, literally starving for the feeling of my fingers touching the jagged metal and the remote of my keys before I’d have to -

“Looking for these?” 

I tore my eyes away from my purse to peer up at the sound of my jingling keys as they hung from the index finger of the man I shouldn’t care about. I wryly chuckled, taking them with a goony smile when he handed them to me with much more caution than earlier when he handed me the evidence bag. 

“I saw you left them behind in the lab and I figured you might need those. Especially if you’re trying to run away from me.” 

“I’m not trying to run away from you.” 

My words were unaffecting, only leaving him with more reason to doubt me, evidenced by his deadpan stare. 

“Really! I wasn’t!” It was beyond me why I thought speaking more loudly would make him digest my words any better, but at any rate, it did. 

“Okay, okay, relax. I believe you.”

We shared a brief laugh, the euphoria of which was fleeting, and then, we were right back to where we were before. Back to square one - not knowing what to say. The uncomfortable silence pressed me to leave, but he must’ve registered my sudden movement as a tell that he needed to say something so captivating, so shocking, so bewitching, that would stop me from leaving. 

“Thank you.”

To say that I was baffled would be a gross understatement. I was in complete awe and disbelief. Hearing those words from his lips was enough to stun me, but even more so because of how sincere it sounded. 

“I was going to come back and apologize when I overheard you and Gideon talking about me. You left before I got the chance to thank you for what you said back there. So . . . thank you.”

And yet again, he thanked me, and surprisingly, it wasn’t any less pleasing to the ear. 

“Yeah, of course. I was just worried about you that’s all.” Unknowingly, I revealed too much out of the blinding bliss of the moment. 

“You were worried about me?” 

His own question brought me to the realization of what I’d just said, and in his tone of voice, I also became aware of the connotation behind it. He already knew the answer and just wanted to hear me say it again, so I nudged him playfully to avoid reciting my confession. 

“Actually, I take that back. Why should I worry over someone who didn’t even bother to know my name?” 

He looked quite offended; his neck recoiled in distaste. 

“I know your name.”

“You didn’t ask me for it.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t know it, (y/n).” Drawing out my name just to demonstrate his honest knowledge of it. 

“Actually, it’s Doctor.” I corrected, earning a hearty laugh from him, one that made him throw his head back with an open mouthed smile. 

In my playful jest, he was reminded of himself and his own uncannily similar humor. He could see himself in me. (Mind you, this distinction was completely unknown to me). It was only he that could see we were foils of each other - parallel lines that ran side by side, never fated to intersect but forging a connection in spite of that; a connection formed on the basis of close proximity and congruence in shape.

“Anyway, thanks for bringing my keys. I’ll see you later.” 

Our goodbye was too quick, I knew that, but I couldn’t, in good conscience, keep talking to him and avoid bringing up the conversation of his addiction. I wasn’t nuanced like that. I was too eager to solve problems head on to keep my determination at bay. I couldn’t dance around the very thing that was killing him slowly. I just couldn’t. Had I drawn out our conversation any longer, I’d sooner touch that tender wound he restlessly picked at; a wound that might never properly or fully heal if he kept doing so. I knew he was too stubborn to let me clean it, so in favor of his pride, he insisted he could fix it himself and simply put a band-aid on it in an attempt to do just that, foolishly thinking it would be enough. However, like a real gash, tear, or cut, it may only be worsened by the lack of adequate disinfection. He could just as easily reap the benefits as he could suffer the consequences of the absence of a proper enabling agent that stings badly, but successfully targets the root of the problem. The choice was up to him. Would he suffer the consequences or reap the benefits? To be quite frank, there’s no way around that disinfectant. It’s that or nothing, and I found myself to be the confrontation to the problem that he lacked. So now that I’d addressed it, it was up to him to decide what to do. I had done all that I could, and I had to accept that. 

Maybe a minute more of talking to him and I might’ve even seen that connection he was seeing. I assure you, a few more soulful glances was all it would take to kill me in cold blood. If you could get intoxicated on someone’s eyes, I’d be drunk on his. I saw worlds behind them - raging waters of words unspoken bursting from overflowing dams, calm seas of his thank you’s, maybe even lazy rivers of useless stored information and memorized book passages I could dawdle in forever. An overwhelming guilt consumed me when I realized I’d only been staring at them for as long as I had to probe further and satisfy my own selfish desires. I felt all the worse for the unsuspecting object of my gaze who was led to the hopeful, naive notion that I was looking at him out of admiration. He had no clue what I was really doing. 

I was profiling him. 

Earlier in the day, I would’ve gloated about my ability to use his own job against him by employing the skill of profiling, but now, it was different. He was different. The guilt was escalating quickly and I made haste to get in my car, not even waiting to catch his reply to my sudden goodbye before I shut the door. If I had to assume, he must’ve said something in agreement because the minute I turned on my ignition, he stepped out of the way, letting me leave with no protests. Quite haphazardly, I drove out of my parking spot, reducing him to just a blurry figure in my rear view mirror that would haunt my dreams at night and occupy my thoughts in the day. Consider it merely a precaution to part from him so promptly. I needed my distance before I did something we both would have regretted. 

Before I started to love him. 

. . . 

“Positive for Alprazolam. Positive for Carboxy-THC,” I mumbled to myself while I jotted down the results of my preliminary toxicology report. You’d often find me in this state and by that I mean, it’s been more than one occasion where someone walked in on me talking to myself. I found that it was easier to make note of things when I spoke it out loud, even if just to myself in a hushed tone. “Negative for -”

“Am I interrupting you?” 

I pulled my eye away from the lens and upwards to the voice beckoning me at the door. To my surprise, it was Spencer. 

“No, not at all. What’s up?” 

As he made his way to my station, I instinctively shot up in my seat to fix my posture into one more ladylike and graceful, pulling my shoulders back as if there was a string tugging at them. It was a stark contrast to my previous hunched over position that rounded my back out almost to the point of looking like a half-circle. It was the most natural position for me, and arguably more comfortable, too, but now in Spencer’s presence, I wanted to assume a more flattering position. For what reason? I didn’t know. 

“I, um . . .” He cleared his throat and adjusted the collar of his shirt frantically. “I’m going to see a film tonight in Sky Meadows State Park. I was wondering if you wanted to come.” 

It was easy to meet his eyes until he said what he did. Reflexively, I looked down at my microscope to shy away from his gaze so he might not see the color forming on my cheeks. 

“That’s really sweet of you,” I began. “But I should probably get this report done first.” 

I wouldn’t have noticed I was tapping my pen on my paper anxiously had it not been for Spencer’s eyes drifting to the motion. After consciously stopping it, he looked back at me, seeing that similarity again. 

I was just as nervous as he was. 

“Yeah, yeah of course. Next time, then.” 

My heart sank at the visceral blow to his ego. I didn’t intend to shatter his confidence, but by the time he turned on his heels with his hands sheepishly shoved into his pockets, I knew it was not the first time someone declined an offer of his. 

“Actually,” One word was enough to draw him in. “I can finish this up another time. I’d much rather catch that movie with you instead.” 

I wish I could tell you that my intentions were pure. That I was going because I knew I would enjoy his company and he would enjoy mine, but that wasn’t it at all. It was that familiar itch again that made my ‘yes’ easier to say. 

The itch to dig deeper and to know more. 

“Great. I’ll wait outside for you.” 

The rational part of me knew that if I couldn’t let his addiction go, it’d be the death of me. But if I did, it’d be the death of him. Literally.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

PART 2 HERE!

[winterchild09]

Red Notice Film Review of a Noob

(don't be harsh just an opinionated review and I just wanted to review it for the sake of broadening my vocabulary, welcoming criticism)

This film review is about the movie Red Notice it was released last year 2021. It is a 2021 American action-comedy film written, directed, and produced by Rawson Marshall Thurder and starring Dwayne Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, and miss Gal Gadot. Producer/Director Rawson Marshall Thurder who also directed many hit films or movies has come back with a new action-comedy film Red Notice acquired and distributed by Netflix.

Red Notice started in the year 2021, Special Agent John Hartley (Dwayne Johnson), a criminal profiler for the FBI’s is assigned to assist in the investigation for the potential theft of one of the eggs which was kept on display at the Museo Nazionale di Castel Sant’Angelo in Rome. In the Museum Hartley revealed that it was a fake egg, and the real one has stolen already and before the room was sealed the number 1 art thief Nolan Booth (Ryan Reynolds) manages to steal the egg and escapes to his home in Bali but finds Hartley along with Interpol agent Das with his team there. They arrested him and took the egg in their custody but soon to realized that the egg was again stolen by another international thief who was also eyeing the eggs in the beginning. This international thief was called Sarah Black as The Bishop (Gal Gadot) who was disguised as one of the strike team members when they pursue thief Nolan Booth. With this incident Interpol Agent Das had Agent Hartley incarcerated in the remote Russian prison with Booth, which she believed that it is agent Hartley’s fault for this incident. And there started thief Nolan Booth and agent Hartley’s partnership in finding the rest of the eggs before Sarah Black wherein they have encountered several downfalls but, in the end, they have found the last egg but have been followed by agent Das and Sarah Black, and here thief Nolan Booth have found out that agent Hartley is not what he supposed to be but actually is also the Bishop who is a partner of Sarah Black.

In this movie there are ups, and downs just like in our world today it depicts how a person trusts and distrusts someone so fast. With the world that is full of doubts within you and outside of yourself. As I said there are ups and downs in this movie the struggle of the adventure of thief Nolan Booth and agent Hartley in finding the rest of the eggs. In this world nothing in life is easy, every person struggles it might be physical, emotional, spiritual, and many more these days it might be agricultural, economical, and it might be death itself but yeah, every person struggling to get by each day. Morally instated in this movie that every action has a consequence, and every action must be thought through don’t rush to do anything but the plan so you wouldn’t lose time by making one mistake and risk time if it matters. In the case of social issues in the movie, there is gender inequality, bullying, and poor leadership, and many others. I wanted to focus on this kind of social issue for this are the basic and everyone seems to know this kind of social issue. First is gender inequality in the past women are neglected by men, women are deprived of learning, working, and just always dependent on the men of the house. Here in the movie, it showed that it’s not that Sarah Black is being neglected or being looked down on by men. But for me, it seemed like men are still looking highly of themselves and not thinking that a girl can be badass or a fighter too. It showed here when Sarah Black got the information from the office worker or an officer. Second is bullying, anywhere or anyplace you can think of there is any kind of bullying like on the internet there is cyberbullying, in the workplace, there is bullying, for example, someone is being cornered to do something for him and he will take the credit for the work of his workmate that is one kind of bullying in the workplace. Here in the movie, it showed when Nolan and Hartley are eating in the cafeteria of the prison when Nolan keeps on cornering Hartley by saying that he is a cop when he is surrounded by enemies and they literally heard and someone comes forward to them and provokes him by throwing his food in front of him and Nolan gave his food to Hartley and the prisoner once again throw his food in front of Hartley then when Hartley stands up and calms the guy up the prisoner throws a punch at him. So, by the looks of this, it’s literally everywhere you go there is bullying. One thing I’ve learned in this movie is that even if you face many difficulties in life, the road is long. There will always be someone who will turn your world upside down and will hurt your self-esteem but always stand up whenever you go down. Even if life is full of challenges and struggles just know that there will always be someone who really cares about you and is willing to be there for you or to be with you.

[bittersweetmelxdy]

Gavin’s Birthday 2020

Around the World Challenge

So, this is the fic I’m THE most excited to post for this month, and I really hope you all like it as much as I loved writing it. 

Words: 3,087

Blinking your eyes blearily, you nuzzled into the warm embrace encompassing around your figure. The strong chest against your back, and the arms protecting you even in the depths of his slumber. You smiled, and gently and slowly tried to shuffle your way out of your husband’s embrace, lifting his arm inch by inch and you breathe a sigh in relief at the sound of his steady breathing. As you were about to place your foot on the floor of the room, you were suddenly pulled back onto the bed, letting out a yelp in surprise as you landed back in the arms you had just spent so long trying to escape from.  

“Gavin!” you called, giggling as Gavin sleepily nuzzled his nose into your hair.

“It’s too early.” his voice was still husky from sleep, and you shivered as his voice rolled down your spine.

“Come on, Gavin, I thought you wanted to get there early.” you lifted his left hand placing a few soft kisses atop his shining silver wedding band adorning his ring finger.

“Yeah, but I didn’t think it’d be this early.” he pushed his face into the crook of your neck, his lips brushing butterfly kisses along the length of it.

“If you let me go, not only can I make breakfast for us, but I can also make lunch for us too.” you turned your head, nose bumping against his.

Gavin sighed, as if you had told him to carry the weight of the sky, before kissing your temple, “Why did I marry a producer who insists on doing set visits personally?” he sighed, letting go of you reluctantly.

You spun around cheekily winking at him, as the shirt of his you wore to sleep, brushed against your thighs as you danced you way into the bathroom to get ready. As the shower was heard running, Gavin brushed his hand through his brown tresses waiting until he heard it shut off again signifying you had finished,  his actions only accomplishing to further the appearance of his bedhead, as he joined you in the bathroom to brush his teeth. Once you both were finished, you left to get dressed and Gavin showered, allowing the warm water to wash away the last bits of sleep from his demeanour. He threw on his clothes, and whilst he towel dried his hair, making it stick up in various directions, he heard you knock on the door and he opened it to let you in to complete your skincare routine. He watched as you laughed whilst patting you moisturiser into your skin, and after raising his eyebrow in question, you reached and pulled out a brush and handed it to him pointing at his hair.

“Might want to fix that before we set out.” you rose unto your tip-toes and kissed his cheek before walking out of the bathroom and heading downstairs to start cooking.

This wasn’t the first time you had done an international shoot, in fact as your company had flourished in the last few years, even surpassing the level it was at when your father was in charge, you and your team had been to various worldwide locations to shoot and worked with a multitude of actors. However, Gavin knew how special this project was to you, you had always loved any form of historical drama regardless of the culture it was made to reflect, so when your team was given the opportunity to film a perfume commercial that was meant to embody the regency era of England, you jumped at it. Gavin smiled, remembering how you were so excited for the project that you had come to the precinct on his lunchbreak, not even being able to wait until you got home, and thrown yourself into his arms babbling about how excited you were. When you had blinked your bright eyes up at him, the lights in them sparkling as you asked him to accompany you on the set visit, how could he say no?

So here you both were, in a rented holiday home in the Lake District about to visit an old estate for the purpose of work. And Gavin would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy opportunity of having a spontaneous adventure with you. He had mentioned to you that way back in his family history there had been a couple of members of the Bai family that had been living in England around this time, but they were only very distantly related to him, their only connection being their shared last name, so at your curious expression he could only fold and apologise for not knowing too much about them. You had taken it into your stride and shrugged saying you didn’t expect him to know everything, but it was interesting that he had some connections to the distant land.

By the time Gavin had got himself sorted and ready, you were placing breakfast on the table, and had started to prepare a small picnic for lunch. Joining you at the table, Gavin sat and listened as you told him about the estate in terms of architecture and the gardens and land surrounding it, but you paused at one point, voicing something you found strange out to your husband.

“You know, they weren’t initially going to let us film?” you told him, as you sipped your tea.

“Really?” Gavin paused, tilting his head in indication for you to continue.

“Yeah, strangest thing is... they only agreed when they heard my name.” You said scrunching your nose.

“Your name?”

“I know, real strange isn’t it? Maybe my Dad had more connections internationally than I thought.” you left it at that, standing up and shrugging your shoulders, collecting the dishes and moving to the sink. However, in contrast to your blasé attitude, Gavin felt a strange feeling in his chest, like a longing for memories he didn’t even know he had lost. Shaking his head, he put it from his mind and stood to help you finish with your preparations.

In the car, as the two of you reached the gated entrance of the estate, both of you felt a sense of familiarity creeping through you, that only got stronger as you parked the car and walked the stone stairs up to the large solid oak door. As Gavin raised his hand to the handle of the door, he paused as you laid your hand atop his and he turned his head to hear what you had to say.

“Gavin?” you whispered, “am I crazy if I tell you that this place gives me the same feeling as our home?” you look troubled, and Gavin, pushing aside his own strange feelings for this place, raised his other hand and caressed the back of your head, pulling you close so he could kiss your forehead gently.

“You’ll never seem crazy to me.” and with that you both entered the house.

The caretaker of the house, met you both excitedly, stopping to gasp slightly at the sight of the two of you, in the entryway and ran through the itinerary of the day. He would take you through the grounds, gardens and ground floor for the duration of the morning, and then you all would make your way to the second and third floors in the afternoon after a break for lunch. You nodded, your figure almost bouncing in excitement, and Gavin kept his arm around your waist, as if worried if you would run off if he let go, whilst he carefully looked around the house. This place just made he feel off, and he didn’t like it, but until he could tell why he was happy to follow you around.

The caretaker walked you around the garden talking about the various families that had graced his walls but after running up to present day, he asked if you would like to know more about what they call the estate’s ‘greatest love story’. Gavin, didn’t care too much for it, but you, being an absolute sucker for a good romance story, agreed immediately, and Gavin could see the wheels turning in your head as you wondered if you could use the story as the premise for the commercial. The caretaker got a strange gleam in his eye at how excited you were to hear the story, and Gavin’s brows only furrowed further.

“Well, let me see if I remember correctly,” Gavin rolled his eyes at how this man stalled the story just to keep you captivated as you all walked through the orangries, “The estate had stood empty for several years, then the King at the time gifted it to the General, a man who had been treated poorly by his family and had entered the army to break away from the abuse and neglect from his father.”

Gavin’s steps faltered, feeling empathy for the man who had a life so closely related to his less than stellar childhood. You looked up at him, leaning into his embrace to providing him with a sense of comfort and the caretaker continued,

“He had been in love with the only daughter of a simple gentleman farmer, since his was a child, however the only way he could marry her was to negotiate her father, effectively forcing her into marriage.”

“How sad!” you gasped, feeling the same anguish the girl would have felt, however, you thought your feelings were simply arisen from empathy.

“Don’t worry Miss.” the caretaker placated you as you entered the rose garden, “The general’s doted on his young wife greatly, making sure her favourite foods were served at meals, allowing her the freedom to persue any hobbies she took a fancy to, he even planted this rose garden for her, which is in direct view of the master and mistress’ chambers. The girl in fact had been in love with the general since childhood as well, but due to social etiquette of the day, they were unable to voice their feelings.” your eyes shined at the mutual pining from both parties, and even Gavin couldn’t help but become invested in the tale.

“So, when did they finally confess?” the question unexpectantly came from Gavin, as you all walked in the ground floor, and the caretaker paused the story to tell you about the rooms you were walking through, only answering Gavin’s question when you were all back in the entryway, at the foot of the grand stairs.

“Ah, well interestingly enough, from the accounts we’ve read, what caused them to finally confess was the lady tried to ride a horse and broke her foot. Well, I’ll see you both in an hour, feel free to sit anywhere in the gardens you please.”

The answer given by the caretaker was like a lightning bolt to you and Gavin, somehow the words “broke her foot” set off a storm of emotions in the two of you. As you both went back to the rose garden and sat on the grass, silence stretched between the two of you as you dwelled on those words, both eating lunch complacently. For you, you felt a phantom throbbing in your ankle, you felt a wave of anguish wash over you and brief flashes of a grand room, a view from the window, a man reading aloud from your bedside, dresses and furniture around the floor, tears obscuring your vision, all filled your mind. However, the face of the man, was blurry, but you felt you should know him, like you had seen it so many times before. Gavin was having a similar mental trip, however his memories were a little different,what he saw was, a black stallion being petted by a lady in period clothing, her face fuzzy and unrecognisable, himself slamming a door open hearing pictures rattle in their frames, sitting on the floor with the unknown lady staring at the sky, fear at seeing her throw clothes into a trunk chaos around her and a kiss like the floodgates opening. Like with you and the unknown man, Gavin felt like he knew the lady, like he would know her anywhere, like she was someone he couldn’t forget. Your soft voice broke the silence eventually.

“I’m glad they finally told each other their feelings.” you voice was barely above a whisper, almost lost in the summer breeze. “This garden is beautiful; it really shows his feelings.”

“Yeah, he must have really loved her.” Gavin agreed with you, and after looking at you and seeing the emotional turmoil you felt he opened his arms and you crawled into them.  

You sat between his legs as they bracketed your figure, and wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your ear atop his chest right where his heart was. Listening to his steady heartbeat, you focused in on it allowing the steady thrum to calm your nerves. Gavin simply say, arms wrapped around your frame, one hand on the small of your back and the other in your hair, caressing the back of it, allowing you to calm down in your own time, your presence also helping to calm him down and ground him as well. As the sunlight warmed your entwined figures, the gentle summer breeze allowing the fragrance of the roses to dance around you.

After lunch the two of you made your way back to the house, fingers interlaced tightly as you both walked back to the house. Entering the house, you both made your way up the stairs, to the third floor. The caretaker was waiting for you at the top, and as he guided you through the nurseries and attic rooms, he spoke no more about the tale of the general and his love, and only offered you basic information on the furniture and paintings that adorn the ornate rooms. The second floor was primarily the guest wing and the family wing, connected by the family portrait gallery. Each of the guest room and sitting rooms, featured a pastel palette, the furniture pieces light and bright as to not overpower the room, and you took pictures on your phone to send back to the company so that you and your team could use them to create a moodboard. Once back at the stairs the caretaker stopped, and whilst smiling invited you and Gavin to walk the rest of the gallery and the family wing by yourselves. You thought it was strange, but the house was so interesting to you that the opportunity to walk through the house at your own pace. You and Gavin walked through the portrait gallery towards the family wing, taking note of the families shown on the wall, and you squeezed his hand excitedly reading one of the name plaques.

“Gavin, look!” You drew him closer to one of the pictures, “It says Bai, it’s your family!” Gavin nodded and squinted at the features that vaguely represented his own.

You and Gavin paid closer to the next set of paintings until the final one made you both stopped. Gavin’s eyes widened and your breath hitched, there encapsulated in the medium of oil painting, was two figures that looked exactly like you and Gavin in period clothing. Gavin stood behind you in his military clothing, and you were sitting just in front of him, the look shown between the two could only be described as pure and unfailing love. You noticed there was a larger plaque under this portrait, and you drew closer to read it, once you realised what it said, you turned to Gavin with tears shining in your eyes. His eyes filled with worry and he brought you into his embrace rubbing your back in soothing circles.

“Love, what did it say?” he drew back so he could see your face.

You sniffed, and Gavin’s hand cradled your face, his thumb brushing away the stray tears, “It has our names, General Gavin Bai and his loving wife (Y/N) Bai...”

“What’s written in the information panel beside it?” he prompted carefully.

Your voice dropped to a whisper, “It says that the promise these two made in on their favourite place, the shared balcony in the master and mistress’ chamber. Gavin do you think that’s us, in our past life?”  

“If it is, then we fulfilled that promise.” Gavin kissed the crown of your head, and then he took your hand and in a role reversal, he was the one leading you towards the master’s and mistress’ chambers.

The mistress’ chamber was full of light colours and golden gilded edges, the room making you sigh as you felt a sense of familiarity. You itched to reach out and glide your fingers atop the oak tables, and the edges of the furniture. But the red corded ropes, prevented you from advancing towards them, and Gavin squeezed your hand in understanding. As you both passed through the connecting door, you noticed the difference between the two, where the mistress’ chambers were light, the master’s chambers were darker, full of darker tones and the only thing that tied the rooms together apart from the shared balcony, was the golden gilded edges of the furniture. You and Gavin passed through the room, knowing that the furniture may not still be the original that was their when you both were living there in your past lives.  

Then you reached the balcony, stepping out onto the balcony, you both felt the summer breeze wash the scent of the rose garden onto the balcony. You walked forwards, letting go of Gavin’s hand and running your hand across the stone railing. Coming to a stop as your hand hit the cold sensation of a metal plaque. You waved Gavin over and when he reached you, you both leaned down to read the panel.

“In every lifetime, I will find my way back, to love and protect you forever.” you both spoke slowly.

“Gavin...” the emotions welled up inside you and you traced your initials reverently, and then threw your arms around Gavin’s waist, nuzzling your nose into his strong chest, breathing in his scent, and being so thankful for the man by your side, “We kept our promise, didn’t we?” you looked up at him, eyes shining brightly.

“Yeah, we did.” Gavin spoke, voice was thick with emotion, and then leaned his head down, and the two of you shared a love-filled kiss, in front of the rose garden, unknowingly copying a pose the two of you had shared countless times in your past lives.

[inmytaste-blog]

Señorita (Pt. 2)

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: A video music in the making and a very sexual atmosphere.

A/N: Look who’s back! I know I haven’t posted anything in a rather long time but this time will be left behind since I will be working on all the requests I have already received. However, for now I am uploading the 2nd part to Señorita since you all really enjoyed the 1st part which you can read here if you haven’t. I truly hope you enjoy the second part as well and I also hope you can give me some feedback. Requests are still open and till next time happy reading!

______________________________________________________

‘’Tell me, are you happy?’’ Shawn’s voice muffled your thoughts of the tremendous success the song you had recorded and published together was met with, still not being able to wrap your head around the number of people who were loving and appreciating the new piece.

‘’I- Um-‘’

No matter how hard you tried you just couldn’t find the appropriate words to use in order to form a coherent sentence. Your feelings were getting the best of you, trying hard to believe that everyone was streaming and listening to your new creation, embracing your own talent along with Shawn’s. It surely felt nice to know that people were appreciating your hard work and your innate predisposition to offer your absolute best to your audience and it was just now that it became clearer to you that this particular feedback was what was pushing Shawn to keep providing new content.

‘’I’ll take that as a yes’’ Shawn smiled down at you and kissed your forehead.

‘’I am more than happy actually. I feel like I’m flying. Now I know what keeps you going Shawn. It’s the recognition and the people’s love that really makes you wanna offer to them your one hundred percent. Wow’’ you truthfully said, interlocking your fingers with Shawn’s calloused ones.

‘’You couldn’t have put it more accurately. You see, nothing can really top my fans’ smiles so when I know that something might disturb or simply not be their cup of tea, I instantly try to think of where I went wrong and how my next work is going to make up for it. But yeah, deep down I always knew that it was going to be a blast baby’’

‘’Hmm’’

‘’And you can just imagine how hard people are going to lose it when they see the music video. I am so curious to see their response to that one’’ Shawn joked and you immediately shifted from your position.

‘’Wait… When are we going to start filiming?’’ you had completely forgotten about the music video, all the messages and the tabloids regarding the song consuming you altogether not really leaving you any space to think of anything else.

‘’You can relax love. Andrew is all over it and I am waiting for his call. Then we will know’’ Shawn stroked your arm in a soothing manner and you breathed under his calming touch.

‘’Thank God. I thought I had missed something or I was replaced for that matter’’

‘’That is something I wouldn’t accept’’ Shawn said, kissing you softly, making all your disturbing thoughts go away in an instant.

Shawn was really careful and tactic when it came to his job, wanting everything to be in order and arranged. What really helped him hold everything in place was his colleagues who were just like him; organized. So it really was no wonder that he was calm and most of the times restraint regarding his affairs, transferring the exact same feeling to everyone around him, in this case, you.

So, you truly took his words into major consideration when he said that everything was under control, trusting him with your life. Andrew could be a little bit challenging and forgetful when he was flooded with meetings and phone calls and that is why you thought that there was something you had missed or neglected. Thankfully, Shawn was with you in this one, wanting you to fully enjoy yourself with no worries clouding your spirit and reassuring you that you would be informed when something new concerning the shootings would surface.

This day however came sooner than expected and you felt like the floor was disappearing from underneath you. You were sure you had prepared yourself for the shooting sessions and you swore you were ready to handle that but everything felt different when the actual day was announced to you. Shawn was right next to you when Andrew called and he tried to assure you that everything was going to flow just fine but your breathing was impossible to control and your heartbeat was echoing through your eardrums.

‘’Okay okay. Yes I got that. Thanks Andrew’’ Shawn said playfully rolling his eyes before hanging up.

‘’Alright. Seems like we are shooting today! Are you free today baby?’’ Shawn turned his gaze to you and you felt your eyes growing the size of a plate.

‘’W-What do you mean today? As in, today today?’’ you shrieked, swallowing hard.

Shawn was a little amused from your reaction but he soon recollected himself and came to hug your from behind, something he knew gave you comfort and relaxation.

‘’Relax love. Everything is going to be fine. You won’t appear first thing in the video since Dave, the director, suggested the video opens up with a few shots of me and then the stage will be all yours. The team trusts you completely don’t worry’’.

A puff of air escaped your lips, your neck resting on top of Shawn’s arm but deep down you were still uncertain. You didn’t have the slightest bit of idea concerning the video and that left you feeling insecure and lost. You had tried really hard to guess what this video was going to be about and having the lyrics in mind, the only thing you could think of was some heated scenes.

And you couldn’t be more accurate. When you and Shawn arrived at the spot Dave had told you to go to, you were briefly informed about the context of the clip. Basically, you would be a waitress at a diner and Shawn would be a guy with a motorcycle and an ‘admirer’ of the waitress who will get to share some fun moments together.

‘’I know this won’t be very difficult for you guys to pull off that’s why I’m asking you to keep it civil and don’t take it too far. I don’t think that we need to actually see what’s going on in your bedroom’’ Dave commented to create a smoother atmosphere and you felt your face heating up at his remark.

‘’I can’t promise anything mate!’’ Shawn joked and winked at your red face.

‘’Shawn are you ready to start? We will dress you up and style your hair and then we will be ready to shoot. Are you okay with that?’’

‘’Yes of course. Let’s do it!’’ Shawn said enthusiastically and the whole team started clapping, you included.

Shawn was very energetic and buoyant when it came to his passion, so this energy and this happiness to always deliver his absolute best was transferred to everyone around him as well. You had even started to loosen up and to calm down, deciding that you had to give your absolute best too not only for Shawn but for all the other people who trusted you and showed their appreciation.

The shooting had already began by the time you shifted your attention towards the cameramen and Shawn was simply dressed in some light jeans accompanied by a white T-shirt and a black leather jacket adorning his strong arms. You silently cursed at yourself at the fact that Shawn as the only one who could make any outfit look good on him. It was a curse and a blessing all at the same time. What really had you going though, was the motorcycle that Shawn was on top of. You couldn’t help but think how badass he looked and how much you liked this side of him. Before any unholy thoughts jumped into your brain, Dave cut the shooting, announcing that the intro was done with.

‘’Y/N dear, are you ready to get you done and start filming?’’

‘’Yes of course. Just tell me what I need to do’’

‘’Well, nothing much. You are going to be introduced with your waitress identity and you will serve some food to people. And that’s when Shawn comes in. You will be pleasant and smiley whereas Shawn will be indifferent and looking at other directions as if looking for someone else. Do we get it?’’ the director instructed and both you and Shawn nodded in agreement.

‘’If there are no more queries, we can start. Y/N you will appear walking down that corridor’’ Dave motioned towards what seemed to be the inside of the little diner and you hummed.

‘’And go!’’

You tried to remain steady while walking and not wearing heels really helped your legs not break. Your stress was getting in the way but you tried to push it away, deciding that you were doing something very simple. While you were walking, you tied your hair up in a ponytail out of habit, and you remembered that Dave had never mentioned for you to do something like this. Since no one objected to your improvising, you guessed that they might have liked it. You proceeded to serve the food and that’s when you spotted Shawn sitting at one booth.

He was looking very calm and agitated at the same time, trying to impersonate his role the best he could. You placed the food in front of him and you walked away, taking a good glimpse of him and feeling yourself heating up.

‘’We got it! Y/N well done and nice job with your ponytail. It merged in the video beautifully’’

‘’I was worried I messed it up’’ you truthfully said and he laughed.

‘’Not one bit. Now, here’s what comes next. Y/N we are going to be fixed on you for some moments before we turn to Shawn. For starters, you will be in a room with dim lighting and we want you to get a bit sexual. You can slide up and down the wall or you can raise your arms and take them back down, all in a very seductive way. Do you think you got this?’’

You were a bit dumbfounded at Dave's suggestions but you were far too deep to back down now so all you could do was agree and turn your face to Shawn, looking for confirmation and reassurance that you were doing fine.

‘’Yes okay. Yes’’ you finally replied and they started fixing your hair and changing your outfit.

Just when you saw your reflection in the mirror, you instantly felt yourself wanting to shoot and be hot. Your hair was slightly wet, your makeup all natural and the clothing was hugging your body and your curves beautifully.

When you stepped in the room to start filming, your eye caught Shawn looking at you and his gaze was persistent and darker than usual. This only meant one thing. He liked what he was seeing so you decided to give him something to edge him one even more.

Dave shouted for you to start and you were ready to give Shawn a show. You started lifting your neck up and turning to the side in a very specific way and you even looked at Shawn while doing it since he was lost in your movements. Taking it a step further, you looked in the camera and just then your fists engulfed the end of your dress, near your heat. Climbing up the wall again, your gaze shifted to Shawn who looked flustered. Being satisfied with the result, your shooting came to a stop and everyone clapped.

‘’That was fantastic. Well done Y/N’’ Dave said and you thanked him before walking past Shawn and brushing his arm on your way. Before moving too far away he caught your arm and whispered in your ear:

‘’I want this outfit home after this’’

Who knew that a simple sentence like this could send shivers down your spine and make your legs start trembling? Well, no one but it really did.

‘’Talk to the team then’’ you lowly whispered and you moved back, going to get ready for the next shots. You really didn’t know where this confidence was coming from but you secretly liked it and from what it seemed Shawn liked it too.

‘’Okay Shawn you are in this from now on with Y/N. You are going to have a guitar and just hang out with some friends playing, and your eyes will shift to Y/N from time to time who will be talking to some girls opposite of you. After that, you will ask her to dance and I think you get the rest. Any questions?’’

‘’No’’ both you and Shawn said in unison and Dave knew this was going to turn out good.

And it turned out better than good. Shawn delivered his part beautifully, with you being nothing but successful as well. It wasn’t really hard for the both of you to get the concept and pull it off since you were engrossed in the act altogether. The dancing part came right after Shawn finished his ‘guitar session’ and it felt like you were the only ones in the room, making everyone else simply vanish from the place.

However, the real fun started when the scenes from the hotel room came up and were ready to be performed. You were both lightly dressed for the parts but what really had you going was when Shawn had to take his shirt off. It was the most sexual and sensational video Shawn had ever shot and he wanted no one else by his side but his rightful girlfriend who was exceptionally hot for that role as well.

Having you there and being the one he had to get touchier with, was of tremendous help for him because he wouldn’t be faking it at all and he would be more relaxed and calm whilst filming. Having a total stranger perform these acts with was too risky and deep down he knew that it would make him nervous and the video clip would not be so successful and linear.

So when Shawn had to flip and land you onto the soft mattress, he was more than pleased and willing to do so, being fully aware that you would be totally comfortable with it. Truth is, you were more than comfortable. All those parts which were more intimate made you replay all those times you and Shawn had come closer, making you feel a certain type of way. And when Shawn landed on top of you, you really felt yourself getting wetter and Dave's warnings to keep it together seemed to wear off rather quickly.

The director had suggested that no kisses needed to be included in the shootings and you had come to terms with it, thinking that it was already too much for the fans who were used to milder things from Shawn. No matter how hard you two tried though, it was impossible to resist each other’s lips especially when the atmosphere was already heated and both of you were really feeling it. Thanks to this chemistry, the hot scenes needed to be filmed only once, since you were perfectly engaged in them, far too much for Dave's liking.

You couldn’t care less about him though. There was only one thing in your mind and that was Shawn’s hands wandering your body in the gentlest way possible. He was always like that in bed; gentle but passionate at the same time. If there wasn’t that tiny little voice in the very back of your head reminding you that this was one of Shawn’s music videos, you could have sworn that Shawn would have taken off more than just his T-shirt and this clip would be rated R.

‘’And cut! That was a wild ride guys!’’ Dave exclaimed behind the cameras and people hurriedly rushed in the setting to get you both dressed in your previous clothes and to clear everything up.

‘’You tell me’ you said, smirking while looking right at Shawn who was already staring at you.

‘’I think I told you guys to keep it to yourselves and be as restrained as possible’’ Dave remarked, snaking his arm around Shawn’s shoulders in a bro kinda style.

‘’Well-‘’ Shawn said but got interrupted almost immediately.

‘’I don’t mind though. It was about time Shawn got out of his comfort zone and did something more challenging. And it turned out perfect so I can’t really complain’’

‘’Glad to hear that’’ you commented and felt Shawn’s arms wrap around you in an embrace.

‘’When do we get to see the final result?’’

‘’I will email you the finished product when I put all the parts together and I edit some bits because some people couldn’t be less handsy’’.

‘’Oh c’mon. I think we rocked that shit’’ Shawn said kissing the top of your head and rubbing his hands up and down your sides in a soothing manner.

‘’Anyway, you are good to go people. I will be in touch with you and your manager. Thanks again for your amazing cooperation’’ Dave said and everyone, including you two, clapped, glad that everything fell into place and hoping that the video would not be a flop.

‘’So, I think you were very hot with the motorcycle. You should get one’’ you said meeting Shawn’s eyes and interlocking your fingers while walking outside of the place.

‘’I can’t get one now, but I can always use the one I had in the video to go for a ride. I don’t think the team will have a problem. What do you say?’’

‘’I think I wanna ride something else first’’.

[allimariexf]

Green Arrow Exposed

Rating: G 

Relationship: Oliver Queen/ Felicity Smoak Tags: Fluff/ Romance/Season 7/post-7x09 Summary: The Oliver Queen publicity tour gets an unscripted guest appearance

Notes: Read/comment/kudos on Ao3  ^_^ This is just pure self-indulgent fluff. I have no idea.   

Oliver settled in to the plush loveseat and looked out over a sea of faces in the studio audience. This was his third of several planned media appearances that Dinah had somehow convinced him were necessary in order to bolster public confidence in his ability to work with the SCPD.

Oliver had doubts as to whether the publicity was actually doing anyone any good, but he was willing to reserve judgment. The first appearance hadn’t been terrible; he’d been interviewed by a respected news anchor who’d asked concrete questions about his time as the Green Arrow and his plans going forward with the SCPD. The second appearance, however, had been on a local talk show, and the hosts had seemed more interested in hashing through some of his more embarrassing youthful exploits than discussing any of the good he’d done for the city since then. He’d managed to stop himself from walking off set in the middle of filming, but afterward he’d wanted nothing more than to find his way into Felicity’s arms and let her remind him of all the ways he’d changed since those days. Unfortunately, Felicity was in Central City assisting Team Flash with a case, so he’d gone home to wander forlornly through an empty, still half-unpacked apartment. He’d called her, just wanting to hear the sound of her voice, but apparently the case she was working on was pretty intense; she’d texted him back and he hadn’t had the heart to insist she call him back.

“Are you ready, Mr. Queen?”

Oliver glanced over at the tall woman leaning toward him with her elbows on her desk. Maria Banks, host of an entertainment and pop culture television show. Oliver sighed internally. It wasn’t that he had anything against Maria herself; it was just that he didn’t understand how entertainment television had anything to do with him. He had almost refused, but Dinah had gone on and on about the need for him to have a friendly, personable image - one that the public could trust, seeing as how his cheerful mayoral image had been completely undermined by the fact that he’d been boldly lying to the cameras the whole time about not being the Green Arrow. It was a good enough point that Oliver had agreed, at the time, to go on the show. But that was before he learned that the format of this particular show was entirely live Q&A.

His stomach swooped unpleasantly as he studied the faces in front of him, realizing that they were almost all women. And that every single one of them was staring at him intensely.

He turned his head and met Maria’s expectant gaze, giving her one of his practiced public smiles. “I’m ready.”

Oliver beamed at the cameras as Maria began her show. “My guest tonight needs no introduction; you know him as Oliver Queen, wayward son and heir, miraculously rescued castaway, former Mayor of Star City, and last but not least, the Green Arrow!”

Maria turned her head and stared at him in silent awe while the studio audience cheered loudly, as if listing his many identities had made her realize exactly who was sitting five feet away from her. For some reason, her discomfiture made Oliver feel a little more at ease. He smiled at her and bobbed his head pleasantly at the wildly screaming audience.

“Okay, Mr. Queen, as you might know, we are going to be taking questions from the phones and the internet, but to start off we’ll take questions right here from our live studio audience.” She gestured toward the line that had formed in front of a standing microphone. “Beginning now. Hello, what’s your name?”

The microphone was only about ten feet in front of Oliver, so he had no choice but the look the woman in the eyes as she spoke. “Hi, my name’s Andrea, and I just wanted to tell you, Oliver, that I think you’re a hero. You’ve done so much for this city and I love you.”

Oliver’s smile froze on his face as stared back at her, wondering if she expected him to reply. Thankfully, Maria knew how to do her job.

“I’m sure Mr. Queen appreciates that, Andrea. Do you have a question?”

“Oh, yes, um.” Her eyes remained fixed on Oliver. “Will you go out on a date with me?”

Oliver’s jaw dropped as he scoffed in disbelief. He waited for Maria to save him again, but after a moment of silence he realized he was on his own. “Um. Thank you, I do appreciate your support. But, uh,” he laughed uncomfortably, “I’m married.” He stopped talking, waiting while the woman stood there staring at him. “Happily.”

She was still standing there. “So that’s a no?”

A small disbelieving laugh escaped his lips before he could stop it. “Yeah. That’s a no.”

“Next question, please!”

“Hi. My name is Paige Duchamps, and what I want to know is: who takes care of the Green Arrow? You’ve been taking care of Star City for years, but who takes your poor, broken body and rubs it back to life?”

Oliver choked on his breath at her obvious sexual innuendo. He was acutely aware of the live cameras pointing at him, and the fact that his entire purpose for being here was to polish up his public image. Somewhere in the back of his head he was aware that being rude on live television would probably work against that goal. “I….” He just didn’t know where to begin, and his practiced charisma was utterly failing him.

The host once again stepped in to his rescue. “Ms. Duchamps, I believe Mr. Queen already mentioned that he has a wife, who I am sure is quite capable in that capacity. Thank you.”

The minutes wore on, and Oliver entertained several more audience questions that all followed a similar theme. Oliver had always tried to ignore the day-to-day shifts in public opinion of the Green Arrow, choosing instead to focus on the good that he was trying to do, though he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been discouraged whenever the city seemed to turn against him. Still, he had never been aware of the very particular type of support that was overwhelmingly present in that room: people (mostly, but not entirely, women) who assumed he was alone and lonely; mentally, emotionally, and physically neglected and in need of their personal help and love. And now, given the chance, they were absolutely jumping at the chance to offer it to him.

“You must have been so lonely all those years, hiding your identity, unable to confide in anyone. How did you get through it?”

“You’ve spent years risking your life, your peace, and your body, all while being hunted, villainized, and sent to prison! You deserve so much better than that. Is there any reward I can give you?

“You really just look like you need to be kissed, and I would love to be the one to do it. Would you kiss me?”

Oliver’s ability to remain pleasant and affable was eroding with every question. It wasn’t the repetitiveness of their questions that bothered him, though that was annoying. Neither was it the overtly sexual suggestiveness, which once might have boosted his ego but now just made him extremely uncomfortable. Rather, it was the fact that all of them blatantly disregarded Felicity’s existence, as if she weren’t important to him, as if she wasn’t capable of providing the love and support that they assumed he was starved for. It was taking all of his willpower to avoid setting the record straight on all the very important roles she played in his life, but he bit his tongue because he and Felicity hadn’t talked about whether or not she was comfortable with the public scrutiny that went along with being outed as a vigilante.

By the time Maria announced they were going to start taking questions from the phones, he was almost completely out of patience.

“Hi, you’re Live with Maria, did you have a question for Oliver Queen?”

“Hi Maria, yes, I do.” The voice that came through the speakers had Oliver sitting up in his seat immediately. “Mr. Queen, I’ve been listening to your answers and it seems to me like everyone’s been assuming you were working alone all those years as the Green Arrow, but I noticed that you haven’t come out and said whether or not that’s true. So would you care to clarify whether or not you were, in fact, working alone?”

Oliver took a deep breath, a smile spreading over his face as he spoke with confidence. “I was never alone.” He swept his gaze over the audience; the faces he saw seemed distinctly startled.

“Oh. Well that’s surprising. Are you saying you had a partner?”

Oliver sat back in his chair, warming to the line of questioning. “Not exactly. At first I sought out help only when I needed it.”

“Ah, so you employed consultants?”

Maria cut in. “I think we should probably move on to our next -”

Oliver waved her into silence, shaking his head and speaking directly to her. “Please, I’d like to answer these questions.” He continued speaking, changing his tone to address the woman on the phone. “At first I thought I could make do with consultants, part-time assistance, yes. But what I really needed was partners. People I could trust with my secrets and my life.”

“Hmm. That is very interesting. So how did you end up with these particular partners? Did you hold auditions or something?”

Oliver laughed, genuinely amused by her unconventional humor, like always. “No, it was completely by accident. I found myself in the company of a trustworthy person who also possessed unmatched tactical and combat skills. I could have searched for years and never found a more qualified brother-in-arms, but somehow he was there for me. Before I even realized I needed him.”

“It sounds like you two were a perfect team.”

Oliver paused, musing. “We worked well together, but I wouldn’t say we were a team until we met our other irreplaceable partner.”

“Ah, a third partner!” Her voice was intrigued. “And what necessary assets did he bring?”

Oliver glanced at Maria and then the audience. “She.” There was an audible gasp in the room.

“She…?” the woman drawled suggestively. “Okay. Why did you recruit her to your cause?”

Oliver rolled his eyes at her obvious implication, determined to make it absolutely clear that his female partner was, without a doubt, the single most valuable member of his team. “Well, at first I believed it was because of her intelligence. She’s brilliant, a genius. A technical prodigy.” He heard the ring of pride in his voice. It was the first time he’d ever publicly admitted to the existence of Overwatch, and he was surprised at how excited he was for people to learn about her.

“She sounds amazing.” Her voice sounded slightly wistful. If Oliver didn’t know better, he’d guess she sounded a little jealous.

He smiled. “You have no idea.”

The line was quiet for a moment, and Oliver closed his eyes, imagining what she must look like at that moment, a flush creeping up her neck. He made a mental note to spend more time telling Felicity how amazing she was.  When she spoke again, her tone was less playful, more tentative. “But if I’m hearing you correctly, it seems as though it wasn’t her technical prowess that made you recruit her to your team?”

Oliver sighed. “If I’m being completely honest, no. Not that her brilliance wasn’t an asset from the start, because it was. But her technical abilities were only part of what she brought. I quickly came to rely on her in a hundred small ways without even realizing I’d become so dependent, but it was still a long time later when I finally realized that even at the beginning, I was coming up with every possible excuse to seek her assistance, because I needed something else from her.”

“And what was that?”

“She...she had a way of putting things into perspective.” Oliver ran his eyes over the audience, absently noting their rapt expressions. “I would get so stuck in seeing a problem one way, and all I needed to do was hear her perspective, and suddenly everything would be different. She always had a way of making the most difficult problems seem simple.”

“So her intelligence, like you said.”

“Yes, but not only that. There was just something about her. She woke something up inside me whenever I saw her.”

There was a long silence on the other end of the line, but Oliver remained completely focused, waiting on her response. “Sounds like you were in love with her.”

Oliver closed his eyes, suddenly transported to the past, remembering the sense of clarity and awe he had felt when he finally let himself realize it. “I was in love with her. But I fought it for a very, very long time.”

She released a long breath, as if she had been holding it. “Why did you do that? You have a pretty well-known reputation. It’s not like the Oliver Queen we all know to show restraint where women are concerned.” The teasing tone was back in her voice, but Oliver refused to rise to her bait.

“She isn’t like other women.”

She snorted a laugh. “You didn’t think she would reject you, did you?”

Oliver smiled, remembering Felicity’s obvious admiration for his salmon ladder workouts, and the adorable accidental innuendos that used to slip so frequently from her lips. “No, it wasn’t that, it was...I wasn’t worthy of her, not like that.”

“Surely she didn’t believe that.” Her tone was flat.

Oliver took a deep breath, calm despite the fact that he was so publicly revealing feelings that had remained private for so long. Somehow, it felt right. If he was truly going to go public as the Green Arrow, people needed to understand that the Green Arrow was more than just one person; it was even more than the team made up of the three of them. At its core, it was this. It was the faith they had in each other. “No. She believed in me. She believed in who I could be. But I couldn’t admit that I loved her...not even to myself...until I believed in myself, too. And that was the most important thing she did for the Arrow, for me. She believed I could be better. And she made me want to be better. And she showed me how.”

The line was quiet for the space of several of Oliver’s elevated heartbeats as he waited for her response. “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“So then what happened? Did you tell her how you felt?”

Oliver paused, feeling the tortured weight of a protracted year filled with almost-confessions, before dismissing it from his mind completely. “I did.”

She didn’t respond for a moment, and Oliver wondered if she was similarly caught up in heavy memories.

But then she stepped out onto the sound stage, emerging from a side door. Oliver’s breath caught in his throat and the studio audience collectively gasped as they put the pieces together. “Did she feel the same way?”

Oliver stayed in his seat, his eyes locked with hers. “She did.”

“And then what happened?” She started stalking toward him, still speaking on the phone, her projected voice slightly delayed like a natural echo. “It seems to me like maybe you should have married her.”

She stopped a few strides from him and he looked steadily back at her as she lowered the phone and disconnected the call. He stood up slowly and held his hand out as he crossed to her with a small smile on his face. “I did.”

He placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I thought you were still in Central City.”

“I took an early flight. I was on my way home when I heard your voice on the radio.” She raised her eyes to find him looking at her in that private, adoring way of his. She smiled back for a long moment, both aware of and yet uncaring of their attentive audience.

Finally, Oliver turned, letting his hand slide from Felicity’s shoulder to interlace with her fingers. “Maria, I don’t believe you’ve met Felicity Smoak?”

The host stepped from behind her desk. “No, I haven’t. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Smoak!”

Felicity reached forward, shaking the host’s hand graciously. “Felicity Smoak Queen, actually.”

Maria stepped back, a slightly dazed expression on her face.

Oliver half-turned to face the audience, making it clear that his words were for them as much as they were for Felicity, the caller on the line who was no longer on the line. “So as I was saying, I was never alone as the Green Arrow, or the Arrow, or the Hood, or the vigilante. I had a partner who was there with me through it all.” He turned his head to meet Felicity’s eyes. “I could never have done any of it without her.”

Felicity smiled, returning his private gaze while pitching her voice for the audience’s benefit. “It’s true, there are a lot of criminals you never could have tracked down, a lot of buildings you couldn’t have entered, a lot of cases you couldn’t have solved, if there hadn’t been someone to lend,” she wiggled her fingers in front of her face, “technological assistance.”

Oliver tilted his head theatrically. “That, too.”

Felicity raised her eyebrow, playing along. “What else?”

“Well, you were always there for me to confide in.” He reached out and poked her shoulder with his index finger.

“Mmm.” She couldn’t stop the smile that was tugging at her lips.

He raked his eyes down her body, smiling suggestively. “And when I was wounded you always took care of my body.”

Felicity bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud. “I have gotten really good at suturing. And applying bandages. And I did have that crash course in defibrillation, which is still one of my least favorite skills to put to use.”

Oliver was outright grinning at her. “At least your bedside manner has improved.”

“Hey! In my defense you used to be a terrible patient.” She cocked her head. “You’ve gotten a little better, I guess.”

Oliver gazed down at her warmly, letting the teasing tone drain out of his voice. “And of course your brilliance extends way beyond your technical genius. You’ve inspired some of my best plans, and come up with just as many on your own.”

“Hmm.” She reached up and laid a hand on his cheek. “We are a good team that way.”

“We’re a good team in all ways.”

“And we always have been.”

“Always.”

They let the moment stretch between them, private yet on full display, and after all it turned out to be not so different from anything else. They had always been able to be alone together in a crowded room, just as their way of being together had always attracted attention that they easily tuned out.

Eventually they let themselves acknowledge their audience, and Felicity quirked her lips, signalling that she had a plan. She pulled away from Oliver and stepped up to the microphone that was still set up from the Q&A.

“I have one more question. Is that all right?” She looked to the host for permission.

Maria looked surprised for a second, then gave a hasty nod.

Felicity looked directly at Oliver. “Hi. My name’s Felicity and I was wondering, will you kiss me?”

Oliver bit his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling. “Well, as I said earlier, I’m married.”

Felicity utterly failed at keeping a straight face as she whispered dramatically, “But I’m in love with you.”

Oliver’s face lit up with a rare huge smile. “Then it’s a good thing you’re my wife.”

Felicity crossed toward him and Oliver leaned down, deftly removing the microphone from his coat with one hand while cupping her neck with the other, pulling her mouth to his. After several soft kisses, he leaned back just enough so their noses brushed, keeping his eyes closed and enjoying the shared sense of intimacy despite the fact that they were being broadcast on live television. He felt the familiar puff of Felicity’s breath over his lips. After a moment he drew back slowly, opening his eyes and holding her gaze. “Was it as good as you hoped?”

“Better. Always better.”

Oliver turned to the television host. “Maria, we’re done here, right? I haven’t seen my wife in four days, and we have some catching up to do.”

[rkwon]

( ★ ) mgas season four five      → 6.2: interviewing… coach won !

he hadn’t had to do much of this last season — interviews; sitting in front of a camera and just talking about his feelings, trying carefully to pick the right words and let the right expressions wash over his sharp features. desperately, he’d held onto the notion that he’d always been better at words than actions, but in all honesty, he’d still come away from his season four audition interview a little shaken. 

the camera kind of unnerves him all over again, despite the fact he’s spending more and more time around them lately. filming for dream knight is different to this, though — this is him, jeon won is all his shy, strange glory and not wonwoo, a character created to be charismatic and smooth. won fiddles with the bottom of his shirt where dream knight wonwoo would have flashed a million watt smile to the staff taking care of him. 

there’s no chance for him to prepare, no warning before they’re hitting him with the first question, only a loud clear of their throat to even ensure he was alert and listening. his eyes narrow as he listens, a habit from reading without his glasses. he’s not sure what he’s looking at on the wall behind the interviewer, but he doesn’t have time to process anything anyway. 

“so, what do you think of your team so far? what are your first impressions of them as a whole?” 

he blinks, wonders how else he’s supposed to answer this question. he does genuinely like his group so far; they’re all talented, all hard workers and, from what he can tell, want to be here, but if he didn’t, would he really say so? would anyone really damn themselves in such a way? had he gotten lucky? perhaps they even put together groups they thought might clash in an attempt to create something juicy for the edit team; he wouldn’t put it past mnet. after all, just last year, they pit them all against each other for positions and performances, allowing higher ranking members to steal songs and lines from those lower. anything to stir up a little tension so they can reuse that dramatic music. with any luck for mnet, someone will mess up this season so they can use that titanic track they also seem to love. 

“team royal are great!” he gradually grins, a smile that stretches up into his cheeks rather than immediately takes over his entire face in a snap of his fingers. it’s too early to say he adores them or anything like, but he is already more than impressed with their progress and genuinely hopeful for them. “like you said, I don’t know them all so well yet since it’s only been a day, but they’re all incredibly talented and hardworking — that’s my first impression and definitely fact, too. I think they’ll be able to vibe really well together on stage for their final performance, too; as performers, I think they match well.” he isn’t observant enough to notice any clashes in their personalities but he prays there had been nothing for him to neglect to notice. “they’re all quite different, after all, so they’ll be able to shine individually but also come together nicely as a team. I think we’ll see new sides of them, too!” maybe to most these are just stock answers to a basic question, but he believes them wholeheartedly. he wants them to push past their comfort zone a little, learn a dance a little trickier than they’ve done before or a style of song they’re not used to. things like that go a long way in a competition like this, as far as he remembers. ( the more he thinks of his season, the more his brain blocks it out. ) 

the interviewer clears their throat once more. “how do you feel about their progress so far?” 

he nods excitedly. “it’s only been a day but they’re doing really well! no spoilers but the song they picked feels really perfect for royal, in my opinion. they’re definitely going to add their own touch to it, but so far, it’s still early days.” his laugh is soft, airy — fond. “I’ve been trying my best to help with dancing since I think it’s going to push some of them a little harder than they’re used to on that front, but that challenge...” he pauses to find the right words. “that challenge will make their performance even better when it’s ready for the world to see. you’ll all see how hard they’ve worked and root for them, I know it!” 

but he realises a little late that he hasn’t really answered the question but honestly, he’s not sure how. in such early times, how can he say how things are going? or rather, what can he say that he hasn’t already? his bottom lip pops out from between his teeth as his expression turns thoughtful, and before the interviewer can butt in with another question, he beats them to it. “I think they’re progressing well. at the rate they’re going, I think they’ll have plenty of time to iron out any wrinkles in their final product. I have every faith in them to show you, the audience, their best performances yet.” 

checking he’s done, won nods to let the interviewer ask their next question. “what’s the most important thing you’d like to teach your team as a coach?” 

he loves this question. though he doubts any of his interview will air, and certainly not this part, he feels a weight lifting off his shoulders that he gets to answer it at all. 

“to remember to have fun.” that’s the simple answer. of course, won couldn’t leave it at that. it’s too easy to spin in any way mnet desires, in any way anyone desires — too broad, too vague. “this is a competition, and last season when I was a contestant— it was a competition then, too, but what it isn’t is the end of the world. the same goes to those who have been eliminated; don’t worry. this might be the end of the road for your mga journey, or it might feel like it will be each week, but it’s not the end of the world. it’s not the end of your dream.” he sucks in a deep breath. “unfortunately, the nature of any competition means those who don’t win become disheartened, feel inferior, and sometimes, even those who get exactly what they wanted from it,” like me, “feel that way, too. it pits you against people you will consider your friends by the end and you’re always going to be your own worst critic, but if you have fun and remember that everything happens for a reason, even if you’re unfortunately eliminated, at least you will feel like it’d all been worth something. you’ll have enjoyed the time you had rather than dwell on what could have been if you’d gone through to the next round.” he shakes his head. “it’s especially bad this close to the final. I remember feeling like this was it — that each week, I wouldn’t be good enough to get through and waiting to hear your name be called... it really stomps all over your confidence. but everyone here is talented. you have to be to be here. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. anyway—” his cheeks flush a soft, embarrassed pink. “yeah, the most important thing I’d like to teach them is to enjoy their time here. that’s why we perform, right? because we love it. because we love to entertain and make others happy with our performances.” his grin once more takes over his entire face— entire body as he sits up straight, nods rapidly again. 

“any last words for your team?” 

he laughs. “continuing from that last wordy answer; don’t forget to have fun! don’t forget that no matter the outcome, you put in your all and you should be proud of yourselves! believe in yourselves! you’re going to nail this. you’re already making your coaches proud! good luck, team royal!” kick ass! ( he bites his tongue; he’s not sure the word ass is allowed on air. ) 

[startyourfuturerp]

Congrats, Nes! You’ve been accepted as Jeffrey Sterling. Please remember to follow everyone here, and send in your account within 24 hours!

ooc

name: Nes

age: 24

timezone: GMT

pronouns: She/Her

triggers: rfp

past blogs: rfp

ic

name: Jeffrey James Sterling

age & date of birth: 20, November 20th 1999

hometown: Denver, Colorado

schoolyear: Sophomore

major(s)/minor(s):  Cinematography and Film/Video Production (Major) Photography (Minor)

clubs/sports: Photography Club, Volleyball Team

backstory:

Jeff was born to two 19 year old highschool sweethearts who had a pretty fun Valentine’s Day but had no idea what being parents would actually entail. Still, with a kid on the way, they pushed through and managed to build a family out of an accident that wasn’t supposed to happen. They were young, in love, but the promises of forever didn’t exactly include a little blond bundle of joy at that point. It came with compromise and a little help from Jeff’s grandparents.

As a kid, Jeff’s energy could be matched to the necessary amount to power an NFL stadium on game night, and even with young parents, it seemed like no one could keep up with him. At one point, he was taken to the doctor, his parents suspecting ADHD, but it was quickly dismissed as a regular kid who had an extra bit energy and young parents who were too tired from work to actually help him diffuse it. His mother managed to finish beauty school soon after he was born and open a salon of her own, and his dad working at his grandpa’s car dealership helped them settle as a family, but it didn’t help Jeff’s development.

He was put in a plethora of after school activities, the little league, soccer, volleyball, dance, in hopes of being enough of an outlet for his energy, to keep him entertained outside the house, but nothing really caught on, other that volleyball when he hit his growth spur. Jeff knew his parents meant well, but dealing with a child that never ran out of batteries was tough, specially when they were also trying to make a life for themselves, and soon enough they started to let Jeff know exactly what they thought about it: “You need to calm down” “Shut up, Jeffrey” “Could you be quiet for a goddamn second?” “Mommy is tired, just go play outside”. It all landed as well as one expects when a kid hits the teen angst years. Jeff became quieter, tried to school his blabber mouth around his family, let the insecurities his parents didn’t know they created take over his development years. He found a ‘quiet’ and ‘calm’ hobby when his father placed his old Nikon N90’s in his hands. Photography was the one thing that calmed Jeff down, that made him stop and focus on a single thing at the time, and soon enough he was obsessed with camera angles, exposure, lighting, and that rabbit hole led him to cinematography and film.

The dam on his personality eventually bled through into Jeff’s sexuality. He knew he was different, as soon as he started to notice that he didn’t give attention to girls as much as the other kids did. He liked to look at them, found them attractive, but so was that guy whose face was splatter with freckles, who sat two rows behind Jeff in English back in 8th grade. He always knew that anyone could catch his eye, and that might get him into more trouble than he would rather be in, so Jeff did the same thing he did to his energy. Balled it all up and let his energy out in a volleyball practice. That’s how Jeff got into his 20′s as a virgin, only going as far as drunkenly making out with someone at a party. Like he didn’t want to bring much attention to himself, in fear of being disliked, Jeff never really felt the need to explore something that might end up bringing him too much attention. Yeah, he could have dated girls, but eventually he just made himself not give it too much thought, and at a point, he just didn’t care about it, either.

Jeff knows his parents love him dearly, even if they were too young and inexperienced to raise a child mostly on their own, but there’s some resentment there now that Jeff has two younger siblings, 5 year old Emma and 2 year old Drew. They are the most important people in Jeff’s life, and he’d do anything for them, but he knows his parents favour them, now that they have matured and know how to deal with kids, but Jeff can’t help like his needs were slightly neglected growing up.

Now that he’s in college, he’s trying to let go of the censorship he imposed on himself, but sometimes it’s still hard and Jeff feels self-conscious about the way he acts in public. Thankfully, he has now found himself surrounded by people who accept him just the way he is, the loud-mouthed blond who always seems to have an opinion about anything and everything, who doesn’t particularly like attention but always catches everyone else’s.

samples: rfp

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Totally Awesome

by Viorica

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Viorica finds a Potter-related bit of media that actually deserves the hype

Oooh! This is in the Axis of Awesome!~

Parodies are a tricky thing. If you've got too much of a hate-on for the source material, you end up being too bitter; if you love the source material too much, you can't effectively make fun of its flaws; and if you just don't care either way, you get something like this. It's a difficult tightrope to walk, but when you're lucky/talented enough to get it right, you end up with A Very Potter Musical. Written by college-aged fans of the Potter series, it combines the best of the original series with the talent of the actors and writers involved, and ends up eclipsing the source material entirely.

The story takes place in Harry's second year, and encompasses the events of all seven books. Harry and his friends (with Ron's sister Ginny in tow) arrive at Hogwarts to discover that the new teacher Professor Quirrel has R

resurrected the House Cup (which is basically a one-school Triwizard Tournament) as part of Voldemort's plan to capture Harry Potter under a bumbling Dumbledore's very nose. It's hard to describe the rest of the plot without going into spoilery detail (which I'll be doing in the next paragraph anyway . . .) but suffice to say, problems arise, relationships are formed, and Team Potter must go up against Voldemort and his Death Eaters- though ironically, Voldemort's ultimate fate owes more to the "love conquers all" theme which the books neglected and the musical effectively puts into use.

When I said in the first paragraph that the musical is an improvement on the books, I meant it. The plotting is much more streamlined (for one thing, the Trio doesn't spend months sitting in a tent, and actually condemns the seventh book's plot as "stupid") the characters more likeable, and the biggest problems with the book-

tokenism

,

Dumbledore's lecturing

,and the

delusions of grandeur

are removed in favour of canonical gay characters (the main couple is, in fact, gay, and Voldemort's redemption comes about from his affection for Quirrell- quite a divergence from Rowling's choiceless choices) a Dumbledore whose stupidity and blindness is repeatedly mocked, and a pervading knowledge that this is, in fact, a very silly story. For instance, Malfoy's conviction that there is a wizarding school called Pigfarts located on Mars and presided over by a talking lion turns out to be true; after all, how is it more ridiculous than the main concept of the franchise? The musical also addresses such all-important questions like:

How did Quirrell sleep with Voldemort on the back of his head?

Why did Dumbledore trust Snape, anyway?

What happens when two people who share one stomach get drunk?

In addition to lampshading the flaws and inconsistencies of the original series ("I just put anyone who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor, anyone who looks like a bad guy into Slytherin, and the rest can go wherever they want." "Can anyone tell me what a Portkey is? . . . Well, can anyone tell me what

foreshadowing

is?") the musical can stand on its own as a creative product. The songs are entertaining and catchy - the fan favourite seems to be "Granger Danger", but my own is "Gotta Get Back To Hogwarts:"

We're sick of summer and this waiting around It's like we're sitting in the lost and found Don't take no sorcery For anyone to see how... We gotta get back to hogwarts We gotta get back to school We gotta get back to hogwarts Where everything is magic-cooooool Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS I think I'm goin' back!

But of course none of the material would be entertaining without good actors to support it, and the cast rises admirably to the task. The three leads - Darren Criss as Harry, Joey Ritcher as Ron, and Bonnie Gruesen as Hermione - all bring the right balance of likeability and flaws to their roles, but it's the secondary characters who steal the show. I suspect that Joe Moses (Snape) is familiar with the Harry Potter fandom, because his Snape is a perfect parody of the fanon version, right down to his exaggerated purr of a voice. Joe Walker makes a truly hilarious Voldemort, especially given that he has to deliver lines like "Get me some Nasonex, you swine!" with a stright face (though I am surprised that his voice held out through five performances, given the amount of growling that was involved.) with Brian Rosenthal serving as his quieter, gentler (but no less funny) counterpart. Lauren Lopez as Malfoy steals every scene she's in, with her exaggerated accent and habit of rolling around the stage. Even Goyle, who barely has any lines, cracks the audience up every time he opens his mouth. While Britney Coleman, who plays Bellatrix, has caught some flak from YouTube commenters for being "irritating" she didn't really get on my nerves. The worst you can say of her is that she didn't leave any impression at all- and with a cast this good, less-than-perfect performances can easily be buried in their better counterparts.

All in all, the musical is recommended to anyone who has a passing familiarity with the HP canon. Honestly, it's a shame that this show can't make any money, being an unauthorized parody. It's really the only thing connected to Harry Potter that I wholeheartedly enjoy, one that actually earns it's tagline of "Totally awesome"Themes:

J.K. Rowling

,

Theatre

~

bookmark this with - facebook - delicious - digg - stumbleupon - reddit

~Comments (

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)

Wardog

at 11:03 on 2009-10-14Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, this is, in fact, *totally awesome*.

The hot female Malfoy is making me go wibbly.

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Andy G

at 13:01 on 2009-10-14This is brilliant! I love every scene with Voldemort and Quirrell in particular.

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Wardog

at 13:50 on 2009-10-14"Your plan to infilitrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly, my liege..." BEST LINE EVER!

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Melissa G.

at 23:23 on 2009-10-14Loved it! Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

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Viorica

at 01:54 on 2009-10-15Have you gotten to Voldemort's big tapdance number yet?

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Jamie Johnston

at 21:28 on 2009-10-16Fab. Those kids deserve to go far.

But can someone explain to me the thing with Malfoy falling down and rolling around all the time? Bear in mind all I know about

Potter

comes from three of the films (1, 2, and 4, I think) and anything I've picked up from conversations and

Ferretbrain

articles.

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Viorica

at 22:41 on 2009-10-16Honestly, I'm not really sure. I think it's just the actor being goofy.

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Andy G

at 10:15 on 2009-10-17I saw it as being a bit of a spoof of femme fatales or female villains writhing round the stage in dance shows/musicals, rather than anything based around the books.

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Melissa G.

at 16:54 on 2009-10-17I don't know. I kind of saw that as an exaggeration of how over the top Malfoy can be. It seemed somehow fitting to a caricature of his character.

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http://mmmarcusz.livejournal.com/

at 23:57 on 2009-10-17I think it's meant as a reference to how Malfoy is always described as striking a pose ("lounging", "preening", etc.) and this is just an over-the-top extension of that. Also, was I the only one who found the Draco actress incredibly cute?

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http://tabaquis.livejournal.com/

at 06:49 on 2009-10-19I adore a VHPM, which is great because I too have become completely tired of That Woman and Those Books being touted as any kind of coherent literature.

I do think the guy playing Snape was totally channeling Kevin MacDonald's "Simon" from Kids in the Hall though! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC4PjXNt2gw

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Wardog

at 11:14 on 2009-10-20

I think it's meant as a reference to how Malfoy is always described as striking a pose ("lounging", "preening", etc.) and this is just an over-the-top extension of that. Also, was I the only one who found the Draco actress incredibly cute?

Yeah, that's what I thought as well.

And, yes, she is amazingly, wibble-inducingly hot. Me likey.

Also I notice the musical has a delightfully arch relationship with the fandom - so I think purring, rolling, lounging Malfoy was a nod to both the books and his typically depicated fandom persona.

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Montavilla

at 01:58 on 2009-10-21So glad to see appreciation for this musical. I just loved it.

It's hard to say what makes Lauren Lopez so perfect as Malfoy, except everything. The ponchy accent, the constant posing, the way she's always trying (and failing) to get Harry's attention. Somehow Draco just *is* a 12-year-old girl.

And I liked Bellatrix. She's somewhat annoying with the screaming, but that is Bellatrix, and I love that they aren't being coy about her and Voldemort having a sexual relationship. It's only one of the ways in which the musical trumps the books.

I crack up everytime I think about her face when Voldemort sits on the desk. You can see that she's still trying to make it work--but she's kind of catching on to what he's really up to.

But *everyone* is so excellent. I showed this to some of mine and we all kept remarking on how perfectly perfect Cedric Diggory is. I love the entrance of Cho Chang and just that look that the Asian actress gives. It's almost her only moment in the whole show and she makes the most of it.

You can tell that the entire cast is having a great time playing their parts--and the audience is loving it as well. And that's what makes a great live performance.

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http://for-diddled.livejournal.com/

at 21:08 on 2010-08-08Just thought you chaps might be interested to know that they've made a sequel, which can be found here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OepW-AG-Ris&feature=PlayList&p=86C718AEE71C9DE9&playnext=1&index=7

[xxx-cat-xxx]

Devils and Dust

“He´s been going down for so long that he´s starting to yearn for the moment he´ll finally crash. But not tonight. It´s the Friday after Peter´s birthday, and Tony owes him a grand party at the very least, after all he´s made the kid go through.”

Steve witnesses a feverish Tony falling apart after Pepper has left. This is set in an AU where Civil War didn´t happen, where Cap and Iron Man haven´t known each other very long, and where Tony´s mental health is much much worse than shown in the movies. It´s somewhat longer than I intended it to be, and also darker than the stuff I usually write, but I was in the mood.

PTSD, angst, depression (maybe?), illness, emeto. Additional TW for alcohol overuse.

I've got my finger on the trigger And tonight faith just ain't enough When I look inside my heart There's just devils and dust

- BS

It´s been a quiet week and that´s exactly the problem. Tony has always been able to deal with pressure, with adrenaline-pitching situations, life-or-death decisions. It´s peaceful times like these that get to his bones, when the lack of distraction leaves him with numb and empty and feeling useless.

The flashbacks have been coming and going for the last few days, and it doesn´t help his fragile sense of reality that he´s caught a bug somewhere and is running a temperature. He´s so detached from the world that he might find it comical, wasn´t it for the bone-deep exhaustion, the pounding in his head and the sense of foreboding that´s been weighing down on him for weeks.

He´s been having trouble sleeping, the dreams turning more and more violent every time he tries. They leave him breathless and sobbing when he awakes in his too-large double bed, Pepper´s absence so overwhelming that it´s nearly tangible. She´s been away for a month, and he´s been going down for so long that he´s starting to yearn for the moment he´ll finally crash. But not tonight. It´s the Friday after Peter´s birthday, and Tony owes him a grand party at the very least, after all he´s made the kid go through. .

He´d shifted all appointments to have the day off for preparations, but owing to another sleepless night he was finished with everything at noon, leaving him wandering around his own empty tower, unable to come up with something worth doing. He´s lacking the motivation to even enter the lab and fix the pair of robots he broke during his latest week-long workshop binge, which would probably get him worried if he could spare any energy to care about it.

When it´s time for him to get ready, his hands are shaking hard enough that he´s having trouble fixing his tie.

“How do I look, Friday?” he prompts when he has finally managed to make himself presentable. Tony has neglected the AI recently, and he can practically hear her scowling when she replies.

“Dead tired and high on caffeine, Sir, so nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Yeah, that´ll do,” he mumbles to himself and startles when he hears the doorbell ring.

The security cameras inform him that the whole group has assembled at the front door, carrying a protesting Peter on their shoulders, throwing him into the air with shouts of Happy Birthday, Spiderman. The ease of the whole scene makes something in Tony´s chest ache with longing. He takes a last look into the mirror, draws a deep breath, and opens the door.

“Look who´s here! Underoos, isn´t it past your bedtime? You´re what, 14 years old now?”

The world presents itself through a haze, making it feel like he´s watching everything on a movie screen. He hugs Rhodey a few seconds longer than usual, prompting the older man to examine him with dark, concerned eyes.

“You okay, dude? You look...worn out.”

But if there´s something that Tony Stark has become an expert at, maybe even more so than at contriving genius inventions or saving the world, it´s pretending to be alright when he´s not. He´s made it through months of Palladium poisoning, so a touch of fever and anxiety feel like a walk in the park.

“I´m great, Rhodes,” he grins, “Whaddaya say, wanna try some cobweb brownies? Took me ages to find a shop that bakes them in this shape out of the Halloween season...”

He makes his way through the evening alright, joking, catching up, and avoiding anyone who might notice his sweating and the constant jittering of his hands, which means Nat, basically. She´s been watching him closely all the time, and he has no doubt that she has realized something´s off, just as she did when he was dying a few years ago. She doesn´t say anything, though, and neither does he.

The giant cake arrives, and Bruce recounts elaborately how he managed to convince Clint not to prank Peter by hiding a bunch of real spiders inside of it, and Tony laughs and claps his way through it all, smiling at the kid whenever he catches his eye. Pete looks so happy, and he deserves it. But Tony doesn´t. He hasn´t earned himself the right to be part of anything so good or pure. The piece of cake that´s forced into his hands nearly makes him gag.

Finally, most of the group settles on the various couches for a movie. The inevitable Star Trek versus Star Wars argument commences, and Tony zones out, exhausted, slightly nauseated, thinking how he only has to last a few more hours before he can drown himself in scotch and Heavy Metal. But then Peter elbows him back into the present, and there´s a black hole on the screen that´s swallowing a spaceship, and suddenly it all comes back at him without a warning.

He barely has time to bolt to the toilet before the cake comes up together with the memories. He feels disgusted at himself when a thick stream of vomit hits the bowl, but he can´t stop retching. He´s long past empty when dry heaves are still tearing him apart, making his whole body scream in pain.

The wormhole closes in from all sides and pulls him down, deeper than he ever was. He´s retching, then shivering, then hyperventilating, and then he feels like he is dying. And what scares him most is that he can´t bring himself to really mind it anymore. He rests his aching head on the rim of the toilet, finally succumbing to the horror film that´s playing in his mind.

----------

Steve has been having an unexpectedly good time. The restriction on hard alcohol that even Tony had agreed to because of Peter´s age means that the conversations are actually making sense even a few hours into the party. Peter´s constant happy chatter keeps everyone engaged, and whoever prepared the food has absolutely outdone themselves.

He doesn´t really catch the reason for everyone getting worked up about which of the sheer infinite list of silly alien-battle movies to play, nor the fun they seem to draw from watching things being blown up in outer space. But he goes along with the general mood and relaxes as good as he can. They are a twenty minutes into the movie when he feels the urge to use the bathroom and excuses himself.

When he opens the door to the floor´s common restroom, he is greeted by the sound of violent retching carrying over from one of the stalls.

“Hello?” he calls out hesitantly. “Do you need help?”

The answer is silence, and then what sounds like a suppressed sob. Steve is just about to leave - there are a few people at the party whom he doesn´t know closely, after all, and he doesn´t want to disturb - when the door of the stall opens. The man who staggers out, pale, trembling and wiping sick from his mouth, is the last he´d expected to see in such a state.

"Tony, what...?" is all he can say.

"I´m okay, Cap, just..." he trails off breathlessly and stumbles, apparently caught in a dizzy spell.

"Whoa, whoa, easy." Steve motions to hold the other man up when he sways on his feet.

"I´m okay, I´m okay, " Tony seems to say more to himself than to Steve, batting his hands away and leaning heavily against the basin.

“What happened, Tony? Did you drink?” Steve asks, trying not to sound disappointed.

“Always assuming the worst, Rogers, aren´t we?” he coughs. It´s meant to come out lightly, but Steve can hear the bitterness swinging along. “No, even I wouldn´t pull that one on the kid´s birthday.”

“Sorry...” Steve says. “But in my defense, your records aren´t exactly the best.”

“Just leave me alone, Cap.” Tony rebuts, sounding tired.

Steve examines his teammate´s appearance, and he is taken aback by how worn down Tony looks, almost old. He seems to be having trouble taking even breaths, and there´s an expression on his face that Steve would call afraid if he didn´t know better. Tony Stark might be a showman more times than not, but from all Steve knows, he is certainly not someone to be scared of things. Rather, what causes trouble is usually his lack of fear and respect in situations where such feelings would be appropriate.

But still, Tony looks...haunted. It reminds Steve of Bucky on his worst days. And then it dawns on him.

“Tony, I don´t want to interfere- ”

“Then don´t.”

“Did you have an anxiety attack? PTSD, flashbacks, something like that?”

Tony gives him an exasperated look. “Rogers, I´m serious, just do what you came here to do and then get lost.” He swallows hard, apparently fighting the nausea. “Okay, that came out rude, but what I´m trying to say is that it´s not the first time this happens. I can deal with it. Alone.”

For a moment Steve imagines Tony in the tower all by himself, shivering his way through panic attacks, and something pulls in his chest. He has heard of the break-up with Pepper, and he also knew about the PTSD, but he´d never had any idea that it gets this bad with Tony.

Still, the man is right, it´s better to leave if he is not wanted, and hovering will most likely only make things worse for Tony.

“Okay.”, he finally says. “But I´m here if you need...someone to talk, you know. Not only me, the whole team is there for you.”

There´s no conviction in his eyes when Tony fakes a smile. “Sure, capsicle. I know.”

----------

The party continues till late into the night. Cleaning up, which Steve commits to despite Tony´s insistence that he´s got robots to take care of it, takes even longer. By the time he is finished, most of the guests have either left or gone to sleep, so Steve decides to stay over as well. But once he is lying in his giant guest room´s ultrasoft twin bed, covered in smooth sheets of silk, he is entirely too comfortable to be comfortable.

When sleep doesn´t come, he starts walking the halls, searching for someone else who is still up. Most of the Avengers have trouble sleeping for one reason or another, and it wouldn´t be the first night he has run into Bruce killing time in front of the TV, Clint hitting the gym at 2 in the morning, or Nat just sitting in the darkness, silent, unmoving, practicing invisibility. 

He isn´t disappointed, but the sounds he hears when he enters the common area are not what he´d hoped for. Ragged breaths and curses carry over from the direction of the bar. Steve nearly steps into a heap of large ceramic shards lying on the ground, spotted with dots of blood. They appear to be remains of a mug that has the Iron Man mask plastered on it. Steve recalls seeing Tony gulping coffee from it several times, and he briefly wonders whether it was a gift from Pepper, but then discards the thought, bending to pick up the sherds.

“I was gonna trash it. But it just...broke”, a toneless voice mutters from behind the counter.

Tony is slumped on the ground, the bar barely holding him upright. He looks so much worse than earlier that Steve wonders for a moment whether he wound up in some sort of time-travel experiment and skipped a few days. His teammate is deathly pale, only his cheeks flushed red, the breathing shallow, sweaty curls plastered against his forehead. His suit jacket and tie are gone, the half-opened shirt is soiled by flecks of vomit and blood from where he must have cut himself on the shards. One of his hands is clutching his chest where the arc reactor used to be, the other crushing a bottle of something high-proof.

"God, Tony...” Steve exhales. The man is a mess. “It´s fine, I can fix the mug.” He knows it´s stupid the moment he says it.

“Doesn´ matter.” Tony slurs, his eyes glistening wet. “I don´t wannit. Won´t make anythin´ right.”

“Okay, okay,” Steve soothes. “Is there - is there anything I can do?”

Tony just shakes his head before lowering it onto his knees. “I don´ need your pity, Rogers.” He takes another swig from the bottle. Steve doesn´t know how to comfort him, but he doesn´t want to leave, either. They sit in silence for a while.

"´s all my fault", Tony mumbles suddenly, less coherent than mere minutes ago. His breathing hitches up. He tries to pull himself up at the counter, failing and losing his balance. Steve is there without thinking, supporting him, but it turns out to be a bad idea. Tony swings a fist at him, his eyes large and glazed over, his whole frame trembling. “Don´t- “ he croaks, “Don´t touch me-”.

“Alright, alright”, Steve mumbles, easing him back to the ground and then taking a step back, not failing to notice the heat radiating from the other man´s body.

“I don´t  wanna - I can´t - no- “ Tony pants, gesticulating into empty space. Steve has no idea where he thinks he is, but he´s sure it´s not here.

“It´s me, Tony,” he says as calm as can manage, “We´re at the tower, remember? Breathe, just breathe, okay?”

“Fuck”, Tony exhales. “It´s just... all going to shit.”

“It´s okay, Tony. You´re running a fever, it´s messing with your senses. Whatever you think you are seeing, it´s not real.” Steve slowly moves into his direction, empty palms raised in front of him. “Let´s get you to bed and- ”

“The fever´s not the problem, Rogers!” Tony yells in a hoarse voice, and Steve is shaken by how desperate he sounds. “You don´t understand, you, you don´t know what´s going on in my head  - what´s happening  - you can´t get -” he breaks off, gasping for breath. The look on his face is pure terror. “It´s not getting any better. I´m - I´m losing this one, Steve. Everyone.”

And that´s when he understands that Tony has been broken for a long, long time. Steve has been to war, he has had his fair share of trauma to deal with in the aftermath - but it was never like this. He has come to terms with his conscience. Whereas Tony... Steve used to think that tech and sarcasm are all there is to the man, that all his reckless, death-provoking actions are simply evidence of how he fails to take anything about life serious. But now it dawns on him that this was just Tony´s way of keeping himself from falling apart. Steve wonders how a person can talk so much about himself and yet reveal so little.

He doesn´t know what to say. And it doesn´t matter, because he is not the one needed here.

“Does Pepper know?” he finally asks.

Tony is sunken together, looking like a shadow of himself, but his eyes focus on Steve, and his ashen face seems a little more lucid.

“Not...not all of it.”

He attempts to collect himself and fails. When he looks at Steve, his mask has nearly fallen, and he is an inch from pleading.

“Cap, please, just don´t try to help in that.” He takes a shallow breath, then another, and swallows frantically. “This is my mess, my fault, and trust me, you don´t wanna be pulled into it. I´m - I´m gonna get it under control, somehow.”

He reaches for the bottle, misses it. He doesn´t try again, and that´s how Steve knows his words were empty. Because Iron Man wouldn´t give up, ever.

He takes a decision.

“Just let me get you to bed, at least.” It´s not a question. Steve pulls the other man up and frowns when he realizes that Tony has lost weight, a lot of it. The shirt dangles lose around his body.

They stop at a trash can halfway through the corridor for Tony to heave up bile and what smells like pure alcohol. He´s barely conscious anymore when Steve positions him into bed and drags a blanket over his trembling form. Once Tony has fallen into a fitful, feverish sleep, the lines of exhaustion and pain never leaving his face, Steve sets water and aspirin on the bedside table and quietly leaves the room.

He pulls out his phone. Tony is going to hate him for that, maybe forever. But if there is something Steve Rogers has become good at doing, it´s taking hard choices. Most of them were of the kind that would haunt him for the rest of his life, but if he had do, he´d take them all over again.

The phone rings two, three times. It´s late, the night already melting into morning, but he knows that she will pick up eventually, as clear as he knows that she will help.

Pepper doesn´t sound sleepy when she answers the call.

“It´s Steve”, he states, preparing himself to speak the words Tony could never say. “We need to talk.”

part 2

[theultimateegghead-blog]

Dusty Dunes and Shimmering Sands, some Deserts levels!

The Desert is a large expanisive area with little rainfall. In games the desert can serve as a world for the game to take place in, or a single major level. Deserts can be treacherous to cross and can be full of mysteries, dangers, or just sand...sand...its coarse, rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

Mojave Waste – Fallout New Vegas The desert can be a cruel unforgiving place, bitter cold or scorching hot, the embodiment of thirst and hunger. The world of Fallout is hostile, but this cut of the American Wasteland is home to some nasty surprises. While not as untamed as the capital waste, the Mojave waste can easily claim the lives of anyone found in its embrace. Home to giant bugs, super mutant clans, raider gangs and other monstrosities, this desert is a lethal place to be, on top of that, with a certain roman-inspired army lurking about, best to keep your gun loaded when exploring these waste. However, it isn’t terrible, as there are several settlements that are welcoming…more or less, and there is a group called the NCR which ‘tries’ to keep this waste safer than most. Still, be weary out there…

Tabora – Ratchet and Clank Going Commando

One of the many planets this duo visit. Planet Tabora at first seems like an empty planet, vast deserts filled with debris of who knows what, and of course some lava filled caverns. However, track into the large sandy expanse and you will find powerful crystals. Finding these crystals scattered about can hold benefits, but beware, some nasty monsters lurk under the sandy dunes…

The Ark – Halo 3 The longest level in Halo 3 takes place in a desert on the Ark. Here the master chief will combat against plenty covenant warriors, including plenty of brute squads. There are plenty of vehicle sections, including a portion where you can ride in an awesome Scorpion tank and lay waste to anything around you. The covenant pull no punched in this battle, they will throw as much against you as they can including a scarab tank that has to be destroyed. Plenty of battles, plenty of epic moments, and plenty of times where you can watch in sheer awe at how terrible the ai is at driving. Good luck trying to find the secret skulls in this level, especially if your playing alone.

Reptilia – Bug! Its technically just a desert themed film set, but its close enough. Reptililia is a dangerous level full of traps and enemies, from grenade throwing soldier ants, to automated scorpions, and deadly horned lizards. The main character must navigate the platforms, avoid rocks, tornadoes, and kamikaze flys as he makes his way to the end boss. You might find yourself racing a famous blue hedgehog if your lucky! Beware the lizard pits and deadly falls, it’s a step up in difficulty.

Corel Desert – Final Fantasy VII This desert is home of the Gold Saucer, the biggest theme park in the entire world! However, we are not here for fun and games, we are here for the harsh inescapable desert under the theme park. People who break the laws of the park are sent down here, and this is a place where there is presumably no escape without a vehicle. Also beware, if the man with the gun arm wasn’t enough of a problem for you, then the giant ruby weapon lurking in the sands will surely do the unwary adventure in.

World 2 – Super Mario Bros 3 Super Mario Bros 3 introduced many new concepts into the Mario series, and while a desert was in Super Mario Bros 2, that game was not originally a Mario game to begin with. So we look here to super Mario bros 3. In this world, you will face many perils scattered across the levels, pyramids with bouncing fireballs. Tricky mazes and of course, the deadly angry sun. After all of this you will have a showdown with one of the koopalings inside their airship!

The Sparagus wasteland – Jak III This desert serves as essentially half the main world of Jak III, for the most part, you will be traveling by car, as traveling by foot is both dangerous and a severe waste of time. The desert is very big and home to different landmarks, and several missions, including the final boss takes place upon these dunes, located in this desert is a city of outcast, a oasis, a base for villainous marauders and a temple. You’ll have a wide assortment of vehicles to choose from to explore the desert at your leisure and hunt down the vehicle based bonus missions within. Overall, its huge, its somewhat empty, and it’s a good place to drive.

The Badlands – Team Fortress 2 The main setting for Team Fortress 2, the badlands is a large expanse of land that host the war between the Red mercenaries and the Blue mercanaries, now unless you read the comics and know the surprisingly expansive and fittingly ridiculous lore of TF2, then the badlands are just another desert. However in this desert are several of the most famous maps of this successful online game. Mines, canyons and forts dot the landscape, oh and there is a town nearby where everyone is a victim of lead poisoning so…yeah that’s a thing. Either way, this is a fitting and fun environment for the 9 mercs to reign havoc.

The desert – Journey The setting Journey, a large desert with ruins. This desert is huge, with large dunes that you can slide down on, and plenty of secrets to discover. Ancient temples that go deep into the earth and high towers dot the desert and serve as most of the path to the mountain top, a literal sea of sand that glimmers as you surf over it. Who knows, you just might make a friend as well. Be on the look out for a super rare flower.

Egypt – Serious Sam

The main setting for the first game of the serious Sam series. In this game you will fight through tombs, towns and deserts to repel an invasion. Large scale battles with hundreds of foes can happen at any moment. The desert itself is huge and home to some secrets, and some tough enemies and bosses as well. Most of the levels are linear and its hard to get lost for the most part. Plenty of guns and ammo as well, so its time to kick…wait wrong series.

Mirage Saloon – Sonic Mania

Mirage Saloon is a spectacular new level in Sonic Mania, and is home to MANY call backs. It has a sky chase zone clone, a train sequence somewhat reminiscent of Sonic Triple Trouble. In the second act, Sonic or any other of the playable characters will go through a wild west saloon that is somewhat inspired by a scrapped zone from sonic 2. Jump out of giant revolvers and fly through the air, bounce around in the saloons, and it all comes to a boss battle with one of the hard boiled heavies, who can transform into some long neglected characters.

Gerudo  Desert – Breath of the Wild

By far the largest desert on the Zelda series, this desert is huge and home to many interesting locations. A small Bazaar, some huge ruins, a fairy fountain, the town of the Gerudo and the hideout for the wicked Yiga. Oh and of course on eof the four divine beast is found here. This place might seem empty at first, but it is home to many adventures! Make sure to wear heart resistant clothes…and be ready to go on a cross dressing adventure that will totally not inspire a mountain of fan art. Beware of the monsters in these sands though, the Lizafos are one thing, but there might be something far more dangerous lurking beneath the dunes…

[bukistar]

Q: First, please tell us your impressions when it was announced you would be working together again.

Watanabe: I haven’t appeared together again with Ryo-kun (Miura’s nickname) since Fourze and OOO Movie Battle Mega Mix in 2011. I was happy. Because in the following year Wizard & Fourze MOVIE Taisen Ultimatum in 2012, it was just me, alone. Miura: I played Ankh for the first time in six or seven years. I worked with the staff who had been waiting for me since then, including staff who were still working since OOO. I was happy.

Q :Please tell us what led to you two appearing in this film together.

Watanabe: Actually, I was the one who offered it to Ryu-kun. Miura: That’s right. Watanabe: There were a lot of fateful events that led to this. Teruaki Sugihara, who was Assistant Director at that time, got married. His wife was a big fan of OOO. I was going to take a video of me and Ryu-kun to the celebration. We decided to take a photo together during dinner. At this point, we didn’t get to see each other for 1 or 2 years. I stayed in touch, but it was hard to meet in person. By chance, that day I was offered a role by Toei to appear in Heisei Generations FINAL and I thought this was so timely. I was talking about that story to Teruaki. I thought that this wasn’t just going to be a revival for Eiji (laughs). Miura: I was just eating grilled meat (laughs) Watanabe: At that time, I called not expecting much. I thought it was not possible to do this. That night, I thought about it a lot “I want to think positively…” I emailed Takahashi at midnight and asked “Didn’t you talk about the appearance once?” It was proposed. After that, I met up with Takahashi, exchanged emails, and gradually increased my story

Miura: I didn’t expect anything at the beginning, like an “Ankh Revival”. Although there was a story like “I want to make an episode where Ankh reappears” at an early stage ever since OOO ended, I was thinking I wanted to leave Ankh and refused every role because I wanted to be serious. Because the character of Ankh I played for one year was so strong, I couldn’t get any other work. But six or seven years have passed since then and I turned 30 years old this year. So, there are things to think about, and I got a good opportunity. So, I felt like, “I should go all out.” Watanabe: It was destiny. Miura: Speaking of fate, Kazuya Kamihoriuchi was the Assistant Director of OOO with Teruaki Sugihara, is now the Director of this film. Watanabe: They’re all connected. Kamihoriuchi was the second Assistant Director of OOO at that time, and so I thought we were all friends coming together after such a long time. Then I heard he was actually going to be the Director and I was deeply embarrassed. Miura: I think so (laugh). He entered the scene earlier than anyone else and was waiting for us. Watanabe: Sometimes I got upset (laughs) Miura: Even if we fail, I always felt protected since we were all the same age.

Q: How did you feel entering the Toei studio shooting center?

Watanabe: The atmosphere at the entrace was different. After all, it’s been a few years, and the Riders have changed. I thought there was a new atmosphere. However, as I had to repeat scenes, I felt “Oh, the familiar feelings have returned.” About half of the staff is still from that time, and our relationship has not changed since then. Miura: There was an impressive world to shoot. One of the staff said “You’re still going to settle down.” Also, shooting went smoothly. I was happy. At the time, OOO was fighting as well, and I felt that we all overcame the difficult schedule. Watanabe: There was a desire to make content that show how Eiji and Ankh were revived after so long. I want to be able to convince fans about the part how Ankh can be revived, and I wanted to make the best of the atmosphere around both people. Since the completed script contained all of these elements, I was enthusiastic about performing with all my power.

Q: What was the most moving scene for you in the movie?

Miura: All the scenes were the best. Shooting started in early morning and lasted until the next morning for about 24 hours. In the last scene, there’s a moment when Eiji and Anhk meet again. I turn in the harness and became suspended upside-down, which isn’t really done in my usual dramas and movies. The action staff helped me, and it was all timed perfectly when I reached out my hand. This scene was very good. Watanabe: The encounter scene was the last scene to shoot. There was a great typhoon on the last day of shooting. Miura: Yes. I actually wanted to go to the shooting location anyway, but I couldn’t go outside. Watanabe: I think of the scenes when Anhk says “Today’s ice popsicle is good” to Eiji at the decisive battle. In short interactions, the relationship between Eiji and Anhk is outstanding. I requested that ice popsicle exchange, which is Anhk’s weakness. He doesn’t want to cooperate, but has a sort of hateful cuteness. It’s often Anhk’s personality.

Compared to the tv series, have many things changed?

Miura: He was reluctant to eat Popeye’s onigiri in the morning. I used to say “Popeye, Popeye”. Watanabe: You said that (laughs) Miura: I have breakfast onigiri when I leave for the shooting location. Watanabe: That’s right. Two onigiri with karage. Miura: I was wondering if you’d like some of that. Watanabe: It’s delicious! Miura: Since I didn’t make much of it this time, I thought “Oh, I’ve grown up.” (laugh) Watanabe: At that time, Popeye’s onigiri were the best feast… Miura: I told you “Give me a piece of Popeye.” (laugh) Watanabe: Oh yeah, it was “Today’s Popeye!” (laugh). After playing for so long with Ryo-kun, if anything changed… Miura: I may not have changed. Watanabe: Both of us were wearing costumes this time, but Ryo-kun asked “Are you going to fit in properly”, and you were concerned about your figure. Miura: At that time I was already too thin, so I was worried if I could fit in the costumes now. Watanabe: But, I guess I entered it properly. That won’t change. I was calm at that time and acted like an adult. Now I’m the age Ryu-kun was then. Having said that, I may not have changed much. I think Ryo-kun became less troublesome than that time (laugh), everyone might think so. Miura: I was very careful at that time since I was an adult anyway. In that sense, after a year, I felt more comfortable on the set of OOO. But I’m not the same. I was very careful at that time. Watanabe: Everything was painful (laugh) like it was covered in thorns. But, as the final moments came closer, there were no thorns, and the ball was smooth. Miura: The thorns are completely gone (laughs).

Q: When shooting the TV series, were there any opportunities to be friendly?

Miura: When it was time to travel around the region for the movie campaign. I’ve never been to a local event before, so I didn’t know what to say there or on the radio. Shu was always there to help me, and he helped me. It hasn’t changed now. If I get stuck in my words, he helped me. After filming with Shu-kun, I was very friendly. I thought if I let him do everything, I’d get spoiled. Watanabe: What I was thinking was that I want to do any kind of work and have fun. But I want to have the feeling that I can do everything happily for a long time. I didn’t think deeply into it (laughs). Miura: Even in this movie, there are several opportunities for two people to talk somewhere. I’m glad we have help again! Watanabe: Hopefully you won’t be neglectful this time (laughs). Miura: Well, then I’ll try hard to talk (laughs). I didn’t really talk then, but recently I’ve talked live as a MC for 30 to 40 minutes. Watanabe: Great! You could a have a talk show. Miura: I guess (laughs).

Q: Although it was Eiji and Anhk who reunited in this movie, what if you could make a movie about the two around 2020, which would mark the 10th anniversary of broadcasting. Do you have any big dreams or goals?

Miura: There are things that can come true if you hope they will. If you said you wanted to make a live performance with the OOO team and it happened. But I can’t say such a thing (laugh) Watanabe: Yes, if you say such flashy things, you’ll have to do it (laugh). However, if you wanted to do it, I would like to gather all the performers like Riho Takada (Hina). It would be fun if everyone got together to talk or have a drinking party at least once. Miura: Then next year at Halloween, everyone can make their own cosplay and gather. Watanabe: Everyone will wear a costume on that day, right? (laughs). If I did that kind of thing, there would definitely be cameras (laughs). To watch eleven people in costumes is something you’d do, Ryu-kun. Your talking skills are improving. Miura: No, no, thank you (laughs).

Q: So, in the end, can you please give a message to fans who loved OOO?

Watanabe: Seven years ago, people who were children or students watching the show are now becoming members of society. It’s not more common to say they were watching older series. Even when I went to Kamen Rider events, I heard staff say “I watched when I was a Junior High School student.” I heard that it happened in the past few years. This time, as a Legend Rider, I can be revived with Ankh. I’m very happy and proud. If you’re a fan of OOO, please go to the theater to watch. Miura: We appreciate the help of the staff and the performers. Of course, I am grateful to the fans who have always supported me and waited for this. Although the world is unclear, I thought it was always a good idea to have a new dream, and to have the opportunity to proceed without giving up hope, and worked on this movie. Everyone, please look forward to the day the movie is released to the public.

Article Sources: MyNavi

[ultralifehackerguru-blog]

New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/patrick-melrose-how-benedict-cumberbatch-climbed-inside-his-favorite-antihero/

Patrick Melrose: How Benedict Cumberbatch Climbed Inside His Favorite Antihero

To prepare for his harrowing role as an addict in the Showtime limited series, Cumberbatch had to ask the tough questions: “Injecting cocaine: what is that like? Why would you do that?”

Benedict Cumberbatch on the set of Patrick Melrose

Photo by Julian Broad

As Emmy nominations approach, Vanity Fair’s HWD team is once again diving deep into how some of this season’s greatest scenes and characters came together. You can read more of these close looks here.

PATRICK MELROSE, PATRICK MELROSE

When a fan asked Benedict Cumberbatch during a 2013 Reddit A.M.A. what literary character he’d most like to play, he offered a definitive answer: Patrick Melrose, the brilliant, damaged vortex around which Edward St. Aubyn’sdevastating quintet of autobiographical novels swirl. The books—and now Patrick Melrose, the gorgeously harrowing Showtime limited series based on them—trace the life of this charismatic upper-class Englishman as he tries to wrestle free from the damage imposed on him in childhood by his monstrous father and learn how to lead a meaningful adult life.

When Cumberbatch rhapsodized about the character on a recent phone call, he spoke so quickly that my ear could hardly take it all in. Which was appropriate enough, since Patrick Melrose wraps himself in language, using words as a both a shield and a life raft. “They are very, very funny novels,” Cumberbatch said, “and there are very funny bits which turn on a knife’s edge, 180 degrees, into tragedy.”

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As an example, Cumberbatch pointed to a scene in the first episode in which the drug-addled, twentysomething Patrick views his father’s corpse at a funeral parlor. He unwraps the body, which has been discreetly covered with tissue paper, turning a grim moment into an exaggeratedly comic scene. “He starts having this dialogue with somebody who’s not there, thanking them for the present of his dead dad—and then he’s fully triggered into this memory of the trauma of being raped by his father. . . . That happens in the space of about 20 seconds him on the page,” said Cumberbatch. “When you get prose as deep and rich and profoundly revealing of a character’s nature, you’re really spoiled as an actor. So much of your background research, your development of deeper psychology, and internal-thought processes and psychology—it’s there on the page. And this man’s salvation comes through a huge amount self-examination. So I just always, always went back to the book on pretty much every level.”

HOW HE CAME TO LIFE

St. Aubyn’s Patrick Melrose novels have been picking up fans since he published the first in the series, Never Mind, in 1992. (The fourth installment, 2005’s Mother’s Milk, was nominated for a Booker Prize). So much of their pleasure derives from St. Aubyn’s prose that adapting them for the screen seemed like a doomed undertaking. Yet screenwriter and novelist David Nicholls bravely took on the challenge—which wound up consuming more than half a decade. The resulting limited series covers Patrick’s life from sensitive child to middle-aged parent struggling to break the cycle of abuse, with his debauched, twentysomething years serving as fodder for the intense opening episode. Certain essential qualities run through Patrick’s entire life, Nicholls pointed out in a separate interview: “The desire to be better, to be less separate from the world, to be less ironic and sardonic, less disengaged.”

Nicholls said he always had Cumberbatch in his head as he wrote Patrick Melrose,even before the actor independently expressed interest in an adaptation. The two men had worked together on Starter for 10, the 2006 British film based on Nicholls’s novel, in which Cumberbatch played a supporting role as the prissy captain of a university quiz-show team—an amusing but two-dimensional character, the kind of work Cumberbatch was beginning to find frustrating and limiting. “Benedict was clearly something special, but everyone also had the sense that he is one of those clowns who could also play Hamlet,” Nicholls said.

As it happens, the tormented Danish prince is precisely who came to mind when Nicholls embarked on translating Patrick Melrose for the small screen. The two characters have a lot in common, not least father issues and a complex relationship with their mothers. There’s also “the potential for frighteningly cruel behavior coupled with a desire—I think it’s a sincere desire—to do the right thing. And certainly the soliloquizing, the playing with ideas, is so much a part of [the books].”

Cumberbatch spent a great deal of time getting to know the author, “Teddy” St. Aubyn, while immersing himself in the role of Patrick. “I asked him about things I won’t go into in an interview, of a very personal nature,” Cumberbatch said, as well as more specific questions about drug addiction. “For example, injecting cocaine: What the fuck is that like? I mean, why would you do that? Why would you do that, and how would you do that? What would happen when you did that? How longwould it happen?” He rattled off those queries at top speed, as if tapping into a sense memory.

“There’s a sort of ringing quality to the way Teddy speaks—everything is very carefully considered, and you’ll drive through until the end of the sentence,” Cumberbatch continued. “They are beautiful sentences. He speaks with the same language he writes with. It’s a joy to be in conversation with the man.”

Patrick Melrose is more than just a character study; it’s also a harsh dissection of British mores. “It captures so much of the hypocrisy and cynicism and sickness” of the upper class, which “hides its secrets and confesses to nothing,” Cumberbatch said. Patrick’s father, David (Hugo Weaving), is a sadistic aesthete who has taken up cruelty in place of a profession. (“What redeemed life from complete horror was the almost unlimited number of things to be nasty about,” David proposes in Never Mind, the first book in the sequence.) His mother, Eleanor (Jennifer Jason Leigh), is a crushed heiress who has seceded from reality.

They are surrounded by equally horrifying members of the aristocracy—most notably, Princess Margaret (Harriet Walker), who in one episode appears as the guest of honor at a fancy dinner party. Far from the chic figure we know from The Crown, the princess here humiliates the French dignitary sitting next to her and callously dismisses the hosts’ young daughter when the girl shyly approaches in hope of meeting a royal. It is Patrick who kindly comes to the little girl’s rescue, seeing in her traces of his old sweet self, ignored by the adults and neglected by his parents.

Cumberbatch said that he too had glimpsed the codes and rituals of high society, through the posh world of his grandmother (“not that she was like that—she was a deeply caring and loving person,” he hastened to add) and his time at Harrow, one of Britain’s most elite boarding schools. “That world was definitely around me, but I wasn’t ever really fully engaged in it.”

Making sure Cumberbatch looked the part was also crucial. According to costume designer Keith Madden, Patrick comes from a British upper class that doesn’t follow fashion, but favors traditional dress that might be embellished with a twist of eccentricity. Colored socks, he said, are “the seal of the aristocratic upper classes.” Patrick may look imperturbable, but Madden hoped to suggest a juxtaposition between his fancy dress and his sordid reality—meetings with drug dealers, descents into a speedball-induced state of madness.

Beyond that, Madden looked to St. Aubyn himself for guidance. “I was privy to some photographs that Benedict showed me of Edward St. Aubyn as a young boy, and then as a young man in the 80s. So, that’s where a lot of the inspiration came from—even the shape of the sunglasses, and the striped shirts, and the pale stone-wash jeans of the time,” he said. Sometimes the author himself would visit the set, “and it would be funny, because he would be wearing something very similar to what Benedict would be wearing in the scene,” Madden said. “I would say, ‘Yeah, we’ve got it right!’”

Cumberbatch confessed that it’s a great relief to have done justice to St. Aubyn’s creation. “I felt a sort of double responsibility,” he said—not just as an actor bringing the character to life, “but also as a reader to other readers of these novels. I do think he’s written some of the best prose of the 21st century, if not the best—and one of my desires is to bring these works to the widest audience.”

Photos: On the Set of Showtime’s Patrick Melrose

Benedict Cumberbatch stars as the title character in the forthcoming mini-series Patrick Melrose.

Photo: Photograph by Julian Broad.

(C)

[beefybuffybucky]

A Tease and a Movie

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female!Reader

Request: could I request a fic where the reader had invisibility powers and gropes bucky during a movie to tease him & it ends in smut?

Warnings: NSFW, fingering, unprotected sex (don’t be stupid, use protection, kiddos). It’s basically all smut (18+).  

Word Count: 1.8K

A/N: Oh boy, my first smut piece. Well, we’ll see how this goes. Lemme know what you think if you want! Feedback is always appreciated 💕 I really hope this works for what you were lookin’ for!

It’s movie night at the compound, which means everyone will be in the theater room to come together watch a film for the night. The smell of freshly made popcorn floats through the main level as you head down the stairs. You find Bucky in the kitchen as the rest of the team sits in the theater, probably debating which movie to watch.

“Hey, Buck,” you smile and press a quick peck to his scruffy cheek.

“Look who decided to join the party,” Steve’s voice drifts through the doorway as he enters the room. “We’re going to watch The Martian. Care to join us?”

“Maybe,” you smile back. “I am pretty tired from training all day, so I might just stay in bed.”

“Suit yourself,” Steve shrugs, grabbing one of the bowls of popcorn from the counter. “You still in, Buck?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec,” Bucky nods. Steve leaves the room and Bucky turns to you.

“You’re really just gonna ‘stay in bed’, huh?” Bucky leans against the marble counter, crossing his arms against his broad chest.

“That’s the plan,” you step closer to him, hook a finger into the waistband of his pants. “Unless you plan on joining me.”

“I already told Steve I’d watch the movie,” Bucky chuckles.

“Fine,” you shrug, pulling back the waistband and letting it snap back to his hips. “You know where to find me.” You let yourself disappear into the air, and watch Bucky roll his eyes, a low groan escaping his lips.

“C’mon, doll,” he begs. “It’s so unfair when you use your powers like this.”

“I’ll see you later,” you breeze past him and up the stairs to your room. As you gently shut the door behind you, you reappear, feeling your powers drift away. You shed your clothing and dig around your drawers. You had decided to only wear one of his t-shirts and feel your powers gently pulse through you again as you disappear.

You head back down to the theater room, quietly sneaking through the door as to not draw any attention to yourself. Even though you were invisible, that didn’t mean the people around you can’t hear you.

The theater room was composed of a few rows of insanely comfortable couches that could lean back and also heat up, like a heated blanket. Bucky was laying, completely spread out on one of the front ones next to where Steve and Tony sat on another separate couch. You walk in front of the screen to Bucky and lean down close to his ear.

“Can I join you?” You voice barely above a whisper. Bucky jumps, nearly falling off the couch.

“Buck? You okay?” Steve asks through a mouthful of popcorn, looking over at him.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” Bucky clears his throat. You climb onto him, hovering over his body, and lean your head into the crook of his neck, gently kiss and sucking on his jawline. He stifles a moan as you reach down and palm him over the blanket and his pants, his cock slowly hardening under your touch.

“C’mon, baby,” you coo quietly in his ear. “Let’s have some fun.”

“Later,” Bucky silently hisses through his teeth.

You pull away from his neck and pout. “You’re no fun.”

Carefully sliding off the couch, you head for one of the corners near the front of the room and wait for the movie to finish. While you wait, you daydream about all the things you want to do with Bucky - of all the things you want him to do to you. After the final scene, the rest of the team starts to take their exit, leaving Bucky alone in the room.

“You stayin’?” Steve turns in the doorway and calls down to Bucky.

“Yeah,” Bucky sits up on the couch, looking at Steve over his shoulder. “I think I’m gonna watch one more movie.”

“Alright, pal,” Steve hums. “Goodnight.” As Steve shuts the door behind him, you push up from the ground.

“I know you’re still there, doll,” Bucky calls, rising from his seat and letting his blanket fall to the ground in a crumpled pile. “C’mere.”

You push off from the wall and saunter over to him, revealing yourself to him as you approach. His eyes searched every inch of your nearly-naked body. Stopping a few inches from him, you can feel his warm breath fan over your cheeks, his eyes dilated with a heavy lust.

“That was a cruel trick you played, Y/N,” his voice low, almost dangerous. “You’re gonna pay for it.”

“Oh, yeah?” A devilish smirk plays at your lips. “And what are you gonna do about it?”

Bucky’s hand flew to the side of your face as he crashes his lips against yours. The kiss was intense, his tongue fighting for dominance before he pulls back slightly, lightly pulling on your lip with his teeth.

“I’m gonna make you mine,” he growls. He peppers a few, rough kisses to your jaw before moving down your neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin. His arms sneak around you to your back underneath your shirt and slowly travel down to your ass. He gives your cheeks a hard squeeze before pulling his head away from your neck. “No panties?”

You suck your bottom lip into your mouth, shaking your head slowly.

“Naughty girl,” he groans lowly, then lifts you up. You wrap your legs around his waist as you kiss him again. Bucky lowers himself onto one of the nearest couches and you reposition yourself to straddle his lap. He deepens the kiss and you start to slowly roll your hips against him, earning a moan from him. You pull away from him to take off your shirt, tossing it somewhere behind you.

“You’re so beautiful,” Bucky breathes as he takes in the sight before him. He runs his metallic thumb over one of your nipples, causing it to harden at his cold touch. His head dips down as he uses his tongue to toy with your nipple before sucking it into his warm mouth. Your head rolls back as your hand snakes into his hair, leaning your chest into his touch. His free hand needs your neglected breast as he continues to suck and lightly nip at the skin of your other one. You roll your hips into him harder, relishing in the friction between your legs. More heat pools between your legs and you could feel your arousal growing by the second, your swollen clit begging for attention.

Bucky pulls away, the cool air of the room attacking your warm bud.

“Dammit, doll. Look at what you’ve done,” he purrs. A light pool of your arousal had soaked into his sweatpants, and he motions for you to get up. You painstakingly pull yourself away from him as he pulls down his sweatpants and boxers, his hard cock springing free from the restraints.

You lick your suddenly-dry lips as your hunger for him grows.

“C’mere, baby girl,” a cocky smirk tugs at his lips. You climb back onto the couch, straddling him once again. He slides a hand down to your heat, putting a finger between your folds as he collects your arousal and starts to rub delicate circles around your clit, drawing out a deep moan from your lungs. He slides a single finger into you as he flattens his thumb against your clit and slowly pumps his finger in and out of you. Your head falls back and your eyes shut as the coil in your stomach tightens. “God, look at you, doll,” he coos. “So needy. Do you want to ride my cock, Y/N?”

You desperately nod. Bucky takes his hand away from your slick heat, a whimper tumbling from your lips thanks to the loss of contact.

“Ride me, baby girl,” he demands in a low, sultry tone. “Show me what you got.”

You smile at him and study his lust-filled eyes as your position yourself above him. “Yes, Sergeant.”

A muscle in his jaw twitches at the use of his nickname, but before he could say anything, you reach down and grab his hard, throbbing cock. You smear your wetness over his top before slowly sinking down onto him, taking your time to adjust to his size.

“O-Oh, fuck, doll,” Bucky shakily pants. “You’re so tight.”

You put your hands on his broad, muscular shoulders for support as you slowly lift up and slide back down. Your heavy moans fill the space around you and your pace quickens. Bucky’s rough hands travel over your body, leaving trails of goosebumps in his wake. His hands rest on your hips and he squeezes, helping to guide your movements as you thrust down onto him harder.

“S-shit, Buck,” you pant. “You’re so big.”

“Harder,” he moans, lightly flicking your nipple with his tongue. Your hands move down to his chest as you brace yourself to move even faster. Bucky moans and licks his lips and he watches you bounce above him, your nails digging into him as your release approaches. Your walls tighten around him and his eyes flutter shut, his own release threatening to break. His metal hand slides between you two and glides over your clit, the added friction causing the coil in your stomach to tighten even more.

“C’mon, doll,” Bucky pants, his eyes hooded with desire. “Come for me.”

Your walls flutter around him again, and after a few more thrusts, the coil in your stomach explodes, sending you into a flying frenzy of ecstasy as you come undone. Bucky follows close behind, giving into his own climax, his hot seed coating your walls. You slump against him as waves of your orgasm wash through you. Bucky runs a hand through your hair, whisper words of praise against the top of your head. After a few moments, he lifts you up and sets you on the couch next to him as he pushes himself off the couch, heading for the small bathroom just off the room you were in. He returns with a wet cloth and helps to clean you up, then hands you his shirt from the floor.

“You’re amazing, doll,” he grins and presses a kiss to your temple.

“I love you,” you hum in response. Bucky pulls his sweatpants and hoodie back onto his body and plops back down onto the couch next to you. He reaches to the ground and grabs the blanket, laying it over both of you. You cuddle up to his side and sigh in content.

“I love you, too, doll,” Bucky coos. “Round two later?”

A chuckle rumbles in your chest. “Maybe. Depends on if I can walk or not after this.”

He pulls you tight against him and rubs your arm as you lean into his touch. Relaxation and happiness flood through you as sleep presses in your mind, and soon enough, you’re drifting off in his arms.