#yes I’m willing to turn my blog into criminal minds too

[maximoffcarter]

so…as you can tell lately I’m on the criminal minds train (yes a lil late for it, I’ve seen some episodes before, never the whole show), and I am deeply in love with Emily Prentiss. Let’s say I watched the episode ‘Lauren’ and um…I wrote something😬

so…my question is…should I post Emily Prentiss x reader fic?😬

[spockandawe]

I’m so unbelievably weak against characters who make terrible choices because they’re hurting and upset. I love the subtler resentful decisions that quietly build up ill will, and I love the big dramatic choices that end with everyone going down in flames. But more than anything, I love love love hurting myself with the emotional flavor of a character struggling with the tension of simultaneously realizing that people hate/mistrust them (or how much people hate/mistrust them, or which people hate/mistrust them), while also realizing that those people just have... no idea where they’re coming from.

I was thinking about this first because of Mu Qing, who is honestly a very low-key version of this scenario (and it’s also quieter since he’s not a lead character and rarely takes the spotlight himself). But the first big tgcf flashback honestly made my heart ache, seeing him trying to walk a line between maintaining his own independence/pride and not belonging to someone he wants to be peers with, but when he tries to be tactful, people decide he’s being shady.  He was picking cherries, to bring a treat to his poor mother (and the poor children around his home), but then got accused of stealing, and then didn’t want to say that it was because his only remaining parent was living in poverty. And it continues through the present day! He knocks out Feng Xin so he can save him from a burning city, because Feng Xin refuses to leave, and people are like ‘>:OOO MU QING ATTACKED FENG XIN??’ In some ways, this character hurts me more than the others, because he rarely does anything wrong, he has a bad attitude, but his most significant “missteps” tend to be like ‘you could have been a little more kind, tbh.’

But also too, I’ve been working my way through the svsss extras again, and... Shen Jiu. God, Shen Jiu. This character is agonizing, and I love him so much. He makes terrible choices! He does terrible things! He tries to set up an actual literal child to die horribly, because he resents that this child had a parent who loved him, and that he found his way to Cang Qiong young enough to reach his full potential! It’s absolutely unforgivable! But nobody except Yue Qingyuan has any clue how much Shen Jiu has been through and how to possibly help him grow or heal or how to support him into better decision making. And Shen Jiu is so hurt by the way Yue Qingyuan left him that he refuses to let Yue Qingyuan help him now. Like! This child was a slave, begging for food on the streets, then was sold to a rich boy who abused him in sexually-flavored ways and planned to marry him to his sister so he could keep him forever, and then his “rescuer” was a scumbag adult who taught him to steal and murder. 

And while Shen Jiu was suffering, he thinks Yue Qingyuan, who came from the same beginning and who promised to come back for him, was living in careless pampered luxury in a prestigious cultivation sect. Shen Jiu’s own self-evaluations are incredibly harsh, from the moment he’s reunited with Yue Qingyuan. He calls himself terrible, he calls himself a thing, and once it’s clear that he’s going to pay the price for his bad decisions, he tries hard to shove away the one person who cares about him and find some way to protect him. Yue Qingyuan never stopped loving him and defending him, but literally nobody else in the world has any sympathy for him whatsoever. How am I not supposed to be heartbroken? Shang Qinghua sighs over how his readers used to hate on Shen Qingqiu for having no motivations, which, sure, that’s understandable from what’s on the “Proud Immortal Demon Way” pages, but seeing the trauma driving his choices in svsss and seeing his own self-awareness and self-loathing and knowing that one (1) person in-universe has any inkling of his internal world (and that person died trying to help him), I’m! In pain!!!

Plus, in svsss proper, I saw a post in passing once that was something like... ‘readers are hard on luo binghe, because he’s the only mxtx protagonist where we see the worst decisions of his life and aren’t in his head to understand why he’s making those decisions.’ Which I still find fascinating, and think about often. It makes sense to me. And as far as my terrible-decision-making children go, he’s very interesting to me because he doesn’t really deal with the widespread distaste/mistrust that mu qing and shen jiu experience, it’s very much targeted on one person. I live for the parts of svsss where all Luo Binghe has to do is breathe, and Shen Qingqiu flinches and bolts. And Luo Binghe is not acting in kind or well-considered ways, a lot of the time! But he was seventeen, and his beloved teacher had told him that ‘humans can be good or evil, demons can be good or evil,’ but the moment Luo Binghe turned out to be half demon, even though he’d just been fighting desperately trying to protect Shen Qingqiu, that teacher he trusted more than anything immediately turned on him, stabbed him in the chest, and threw him into hell.

That’s agonizing!!!! Even without the aftermath, that’s agonizing to read! And when Luo Binghe comes back, years later, he’s upset, he’s hurt, he’s lonely, he’s still stinging from that betrayal, of course he’s not making good decisions. I follow good blogs, because I haven’t seen any terrible Luo Binghe takes on my dash, but I’m kind of :c that these takes apparently exist. Again, it’s not that I think he makes good decisions, but I can see why he makes bad decisions, and I can see other characters missing that context, and I am rolling in terrible, glorious pain. Luo Binghe shows up secretly in Huan Hua Palace and starts taking it over and generally acts shady as heck? Well, Shizun wouldn’t let him beg for forgiveness when he was a disciple, and he’s afraid to face Shen Qingqiu until he can meet him on a semi-equal footing. Luo Binghe gets angry and spiteful when Shen Qingqiu asks if he’s responsible for the sowers? Yes he does! He’d always, always tried to do right by Shen Qingqiu, and trusted Shen Qingqiu when he said demons could be decent people, but the moment he turned out to be half-demon, Shen Qingqiu immediately started expecting the worst from him at every turn. It hurts! I don’t blame him for acting on that hurt! And I am so endlessly compelled by the way that Shen Qingqiu completely fails to recognize the context for where Binghe is coming from.

And like... I cannot leave out Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao. Xue Yang is fascinating in his own way, because the steps are... a lot more explicit and clear-cut than some of these other characters. Shen Jiu’s downward spiral is very internal and he curls up tight to hide his weak spots even with the person who values him most in the whole world, but Xue Yang very plainly tries to lay out his reasoning for his most important person. His whole world is crumbling by the time things reach that point, and it was probably beyond salvaging, but god! He tries so hard to explain the position the world placed him in, from childhood onward, helpless and vulnerable, and that nobody was going to defend him except himself. 

But when Xiao Xingchen doesn’t understand what he’s trying to communicate, when he realizes that the person he values most isn’t willing to hear what he’s trying to say, he starts lashing out again and trying to hurt. It’s the same lesson he learned when he was young, in some ways. ‘If I’m stupid enough to trust you, you’re going to use that to hurt me.’ And then the logical next step, ‘If you’re going to hurt me, all I can do is try to hurt you worse.’ You can see the trauma playing out right there on the page, and it’s agonizing. I can understand some people not enjoying reading things that make them hurt that way, but I have trouble Getting it when people don’t at least find that kind of dynamic compelling as hell. I’ll sometimes avoid media that I know is going to make me sad, but if I’m in the mood to Experience Sadness, I know a dynamic like this is going to grab me by the heart and shake me like a ragdoll.

And... Jin Guangyao. He was on my mind too, partly because I’ve seen a few takes on his motivations lately that honestly kind of baffle me? Like, to each their own, especially since mdzs never takes us inside his head. But I see posts that like... he was bullying Nie Mingjue, or what if Lan Xichen could Tell he was never genuine and mistrusted him on some level, and how to put this. It’s not that I agree with the choices he made, though I really don’t want to play fandom purity police in any way, shape, or form (murder is good, actually), but I understand the choices he made enough that those sort of interpretations that skew towards the cruelty-for-the-sake-of-cruelty territory honestly kind of upset me.

There’s some interesting comparisons to be made with Mu Qing, in some ways. They both grew up poor, without a father, in “shameful” single-parent situations (a sex worker mother vs. a father being executed for being a criminal). They were poor boys with ambition, but no matter how they tried to carry themselves with dignity, those poor beginnings were rubbed in their faces, years after the fact. I think it does make a real difference that Mu Qing’s shame is mostly based in his own history (sweeping floors) while Jin Guangyao’s is more external (son of a whore), and that Jin Guangyao’s also insulted a parent who he loved dearly, and that Mu Qing was seeking the respect outside of famiial structures while Jin Guangyao was desperate to be accepted by his father.

There’s so much of Jin Guangyao’s early life that’s like ‘I’m Just Trying To Live My Life, My Dude,’ and it hurts me to watch. He really didn’t have goals that were all that excessive! If his goals were excessive in some way, it’s only by virtue of how highly ranked his father was, which isn’t his fault. His goal: ‘I want my father to accept me into the family.’ What the world saw: “oh my god, this son of a whore SERIOUSLY wants to be brought into this noble family, lmaooooo.’ There are characters who are more compassionate than that, and a lot of that reaction is down to the nature of the setting, but LORD, man! It’s honestly a pretty restrained goal for a kid to have! Especially when his father totally promised to come back for him someday, and he waited patiently for years before setting out on his own.

And even once he gets kicked down the steps of Koi Tower and dials back his ambitions, he gets so little space to breathe. He’s learning cultivation late, he takes a position as a nobody in a different cultivation sect, he’s just trying to live. But no matter how he rolls with the punches, no matter how he smiles and bears it, he’s being constantly, constantly prodded in that old, painful bruise. I’ve been finally working my way through The Untamed, and it was painful to watch, in Gusu, when he’s trying to present the Nie Sect’s gift to Lan QIren, and people just start focking gossiping about him, right there, perfectly audibly. And when we see him back in Qinghe, he’s perfectly polite and deferential, and that one disciple is still like ‘fuck you, ur mom was a whore.’

He makes bad decisions, but even when he makes good decisions, he can’t win. I don’t get anything from him at all that suggests he had Hugely Lofty Ambitions from a young age, he just wanted some kind of decent life, but almost nobody would cut him a break. Nie Mingjue did cut him a break, and Lan Xichen was gentle and kind to him, and that made such an impact on him. But I also think it made it that much worse, when he made later questionable decisions, and Nie Mingjue refused to let him explain himself. Nie Mingjue’s rigidity breaks my heart in lots of ways, but especially when it comes to Jin Guangyao. I don’t want to make this all about personal attachment, but it’s kind of inescapable in this situation. Nie Mingjue sends him a loud, violent message that if he’s not perfectly morally upright, he’s Done. But by now, Jin Guangyao has years of history of people being cruel to him based on a history he never was able to control. Nie Mingjue protected him, but hes made it clear that protection was... conditional. There could be arguments about how conditional, and what the non-murdery limits would have been, but the murder has been done, and it was already clear that Nie Mingjue never had the power to protect him from everything.

I can’t read Jin Guangyao’s later actions without also reading that fear and insecurity into his decisions. He even tries to say it outright, that he’s afraid of everyone and everything, and Nie Mingjue misses the point. Jin Guangyao hurts me a lottle, because he suffers both in terms of the general public’s judgment of him, but also in the judgment of someone he cared deeply about. I can see the reasoning and trauma, but so many other people in the story can’t. Jin Guangyao gets pushed to the edge by how his father holds him at arm’s length from the family, the atrocities he tells Jin Guangyao to commit on his behalf (and then maybe I’ll treat you like my actual son, maybe), but when he tries to express that, Nie Mingjue is like ‘can’t you just endure more, though??’ He builds a temple with a statue with the face of his dead beloved mother, and the public is like ‘omg, he made that statue with his OWN FACE, can you believe it??’

In some ways, the way Lan Xichen determinedly loves and trusts him makes it all hurt even worse. I absolutely believe Jin Guangyao when he says that he never once wanted to act against Lan Xichen. So many of the terrible decisions Jin Guangyao makes tie so directly to him seeking either safety or security. But he works hard in social gatherings to keep the peace and people think he’s two-faced. He endures years of mistreatment before hitting back and people judge him for hitting back at all and say that well, what else could we have respected from someone with that background. Nie Mingjue threatens to kill him multiple times, and he was a very straightforward, honest man, of course Jin Guangyao was frightened of him and decided it was safer to see him dead. I live for the pain of seeing a character I love make decisions I strongly disagree with, understanding why they’re making those decisions, and seeing other characters not understand, and simply hate them for the decisions.

This isn’t exactly new, this is why I’ll never be able to shake my love for Starscream, even if his quality of motivation... varies by continuity. And Pharma and Prowl are two of my favorite characters in all of idw1 for exactly this reason. I’ve got  at least three fics brushing up against Pharma’s resentment over ‘yes, i got ordered to run a hospital on a garbage planet I was sharing the most violent, sadistic decepticons in existence, I SURE WONDER WHY I WAS DRIVEN TO THIS DESPERATE POINT, BUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THINKS I’M JUST A TERRIBLE PERSON, SO I GUESS THAT’S THAT.’ 

And in the murderbot books, I genuinely get reduced to tears when murderbot has to deal with people compassionately interpreting its behavior instead of giving it no credit, the way its used to. I find the raksura books intensely, intensely satisfying in how Moon struggles to fit into a highly social, close-knit society after growing up so traumatized and alone, and how his colony gradually adapts to him and gets used to his quirks, instead of driving him out, the way he’s experienced so many times. No real conclusion here, I was just spacing out during a work training call, and got overtaken by how much I love characters who experience this particular flavor of emotional isolation.

[moondustaeil]

If your moots (or blogs you want to be mutuals with) were fanfics, what would they be? I personally think you'd be a 'royalty au, protective brother king!Kun × princess/prince!reader × suitor!Sangyeon' fanfic! 📚

You just seem very mature and put-together to me.

hihi, my love!! This was so nice to do even if it took a long time, I loved it so thank you. Also thank you for saying what fic I would be, I wish I could live in that fic 🥺💙

If you’re not in here, I’m so sorry, I’ll still add you if you want or next time someone asks me this, I’ll add you!

you can find the fics and moots under the cut! I didn’t go in any particular order, just who popped in my mind at what moment and émi last bc she’s my world yes. This is way longer than expected

@sunhyuck

Au: soulmates 

Pairing: wanderer!Haechan x Kei 

Backstory: ever since Donghyuck accidentally met eyes with a stranger on the street, he is greeted with sunflowers scattered along his path. Young sunflowers dance under the sun, turning to the source of warmth and light. Just like the sun is all you've been gazing at ever since you walked on the same path as your soulmate. 

Why: because I truly think of Kei as one of the people I'll always go to and when thinking about soulmates, I think of people who find each other and accept each other despite different lives. That I will connect to the weird variety of subjects we talked about. I love you, my angel (if you're reading this). 

⠀

@neo-cult-ure 

Au: demonic entities , haunted house , roommates 

Pairing: composer!Taeyong x journalist!Ley 

Backstory: Taeyong has been shouting over his music to you for over half a year, almost begging you to dedicate a column to him and his music. When his equipment starts picking up the strange noises coming from the house, it becomes clear that the clock hasn't been stopping at 3:19am for nothing. With Taeyong discovering the entity living among you, you decide to dedicate the article to Taeyong and your invisible roommate. 

Why: do I even need to explain, this queen owns horror and the horror concept. She's the one I'll bow to because I owe her a lot and she's freaking talented.

  ⠀

@ceruleanskies 

Au: secret relationship 

Pairing: soloist!Yuta x stylist!Kai 

Backstory: ever since Yuta appeared on the red carpet with a short haircut, fans hunt for the person that made the decision to get rid of his mullet. All fingers point towards you, stylist of Nakamoto Yuta, from each finger a new opinion flows into your ears: too short, not the right colour, better looking with the mullet. Though one finger shoots the arrow right in the heart "they're dating." 

Why: because I truly adore Kai even though I'm way too scared to actually tell, I don't want to mess up and make her think that I'm some kind of weird person. In my eyes, she sparkles through my screen. 

⠀

@neonun-au 

Au: dating app 

Pairing: photographer!Johnny x Mads 

Backstory: just like he with a button alters between the different pictures on his camera, Johnny alters between the different profiles, swiping them in his desired direction. That's how you strand in his life and mostly his camera roll: the pictures he takes, one by one, capture you. 

Why: because even though we don't know each other well, I truly want to capture her in my memory and think about the smiles I had on my face when reading her messages. 

⠀

@flowerhyucky 

Au: arranged by fate (you can call this soulmates but I'm calling this arranged by fate)  

Pairing: Hendery x Ana 

Backstory: one day, the flowering plant amaranthus caudatus settles itself in the middle of an empty field. Another day, someone else's birth flower is planted next to the amaranthus caudatus. The young miracles of nature grow just as their owners do, however, they don't bloom until the love between you and Hendery starts to bloom. 

Why: I really like Ana and her URL actually inspired the story, I could write so many adorable aus to fit her but nothing would compare. I truly like her vibes and her personality is so beautiful, like wow. 

⠀

@smileyjaeminies 

Au: university , writer 

Pairing: writing student!Jaemin x student!Alex 

Backstory: exam season is closer than expected for you, with only a few days to go until you scribble your knowledge down on the exam sheet and a week to go until you need to hand in your paper. However, someone is willing you help you with that paper. Na Jaemin, student and writer who seems to have more control over his life than the earth has over global warming. As the word document increases in pages, so does your liking towards the young writer. 

Why: I met Alex thanks to thesunnyshow that we're both co-admins of, and it immediately felt as if we were friends. Alex helped me through the screen when I fell off my bike (yes haha, a 21-year-old one took the wrong brake) and I try to make it work when she's busy with uni but we have a shift. So I think we're a great team and that's why I picked this au. 

⠀

@fruityutas 

Au: broken relationship 

Pairing: Taeil x Emily 

Backstory: "Can I go on?" Taeil asks himself every morning, gazing upon your sheet-covering body as you drown in the world of sleep. The wind howls outside the window, and Taeil wishes the wind would push you towards him, but the soft blowing only pulls you further away from him. You feel a soft breath against your neck, the soft lips murmuring "without you, there's no way." 

Why: I don't know why I chose this particular plot, maybe it was because I was listening to a song and based it on that. Initially, I wanted to go for a cheerful and happy plot that reminded me of her URL, but I ended up with angst. I remember we had this talk about angst and went from that. Also, I adore her so much, I probably expressed that once in a gc already but I'm saying it again. 

⠀

@afishcalledfatin 

Au: friends to lovers

Pairing: Jungwoo x Fatin 

Backstory: for as long as you can remember, you've been friends with Kim Jungwoo. In your childhood and teenage years, the term BFFs would be engraved in each object you gave to each other, but now that you two are adults, life is different. You want to give him the world because he deserves everything, he wants to give you love because his heart is longing for yours. 

Why: because she feels like a friend that I've had for years, we don't always talk but when we do, it just feels like we've been friends since forever. I love that a lot about her and I love how easy she is to approach and talk to, she's a true darling. 

⠀

@heartyyjeno 

Au: strangers to lovers 

Pairing: Sungchan x Alesha 

Backstory: trainee life is tough for Sungchan, even thinking about having to walk for over half an hour to get to the dance studio is something Sungchan stopped looking forward to. However, he meets you on his way, walking along the same path to get to a different location. One step a day with you along his side is all it takes for him to look forward to it again, to walking with you and getting to know you better. 

Why: because Alesha is a great friend and we, unfortunately, don't talk as much as we used to, but that doesn't take away I'm always there for her and she's always there for me. Sungchan's walk resembles the many different talks that we had together and not all of them were fun, but we walked the path together.

⠀

@jimjamjaemin 

Au: youtuber , vlogger 

Pairing: vlogger!Mark x vlogger!Mona 

Backstory: Mark and you have been a couple for over a year, with the growing interest in your relationship, you and Mark start a YouTube channel. From a look in the life to fun challenges, you and Mark take over the crown of cute YouTube couples. 

Why: Mona and i didn't meet in the best situation, we started to talk when there was quite some drama in the fandom. But I love Mona and the thing she made me for my birthday reminded me of an editor which led me to a youtuber au!

⠀

@chaoticdeobi 

Au: bakery/coffee shop (bc how can I not, she kicked me out of the coffee queue) 

Pairing: soft-spoken!New x coffee shop owner!Bea 

Backstory: the coffee quote that hangs inside your coffee shop, is something that Chanhee cites every day. With a soft voice, he orders his coffee and then flashes you his smile when you proceed to tell him that the cookie is on the house. As you bring the coffee to his table, the last minute of your shift ticks by, and when you sit with him, you start your shift as girlfriend. 

Why: I literally love love love Bea, sometimes she reminds me of a soft-spoken person and other times she reminds me of a chaotic deobi. I still laugh to myself thinking about our talks, thinking about having fun together. We don't get to talk as much as I'd like, but when we do, I wish we could talk forever. 

⠀

@juyeonzz

Au: criminal , badass , something chique  

Pairing: criminal!Jacob x partner in crime!Qiu

Backstory: pointing the gun at his future victim, Jacob awaits your return. You explore the house: tugging at knobs of money-filled drawers, opening jewellery-clad treasures. But you are looking for the key to Jacob's heart, a golden key dusted with scratches, poisoned with old blood from when someone else locked his heart and pulled the key out harshly. 

Why: because Qiu really gives me chique and sad vibes, when I think about her, I think about a longing feeling described with poetic words. Qiu wasn't my first mutual but if I need to mention my first mutuals, there's a big chance I'll include her because it feels like she was one of the first people I got close to. 

⠀

@atbzkingdom

Au: dream 

Pairing: Haknyeon x Dee

Backstory: if Haknyeon were to have one more day on this earth, how would be spend it? He would make a timetable of which you are the only returning factor, because he would like to drown himself in time with you. Twenty-four hours in which he is the sun that illuminates each part of the world, the world that is you, rotating until the sun is replaced by the moon. 

Why: I don't know Dee that well because we haven't talked overly much, but whenever I think about her, I think about references with the earth, sun and moon or natural things. She's just a sweet person, and it seems really natural to talk to her! 

⠀

@127-mile

Au: muse , painting 

Pairings: Ten x Émi (but there's also Renjun in here)

Backstory: from the brush that Renjun manoeuvres, droplets of paint colour the blank canvas in a self-made story. Ten, the master that learned Renjun how to portray his muse, is now standing next to Émi, the young woman returning in each painting of Ten. Never had they stood next to each other: artist and muse. Never had they consciously smiled at each other. Never had they been real. Until now. Immortalised on the canvas, Ten hugs his Émi, they might both be droplets of paint with a shadow, but behind the canvas Renjun bids farewell to his last painting. His tear streaks the painting, blurring the line between reverie and reality 

Why: because Émi and Renjun are both my muses in life and writing, creatively but also in daily things. I proclaim my love for Émi a lot but that never takes away how genuine it is, because I genuinely love her and sometimes it seems so surreal that she's in my life. Sometimes I'm afraid that she's a dot, a droplet of paint that will fade by time until I have no more remains of her. But however long we have left, I will cherish and love her each day just like she loves Ten (isn't that a sad love story, I literally cried for like five minutes after this 😂)

[trying-write-fanfics]

OverhaulXreader part 11

A couple more days went on and a blessing disguised itself as an inconvenience. A terrible blizzard hit the city, everything was a mess. Crime went up. The police didn’t know to help citizens in ice related accidents or stop the criminals. Citizens were pissed about the weather conditions making it more difficult to help them. Some parts of the city lost power, but not Kai. He watched from his window how the town was in chaos. His phone rang breaking his thoughts.

“Hey Kai!” Y/n shakily said. “Do you have power?”

“Yeah, you don’t?”

“None at all. I tried going to sleep, but I can’t feel anything at this point.” She said, “Can I stay the night?”

“I’ll pick you up, I’m not at Pops’ place.” He told her.

“Hey, don’t drive! It’s crazy out there.”

“You want me to walk?”

“What subway do you want me to meet you at?”

Oh no, not the subway.

“Are you sure that’s-“

“Yes, where's the closest station to where you’re at?”

The station was disgusting, but not as bad as above ground. He had to wait a half hour for her. When he saw her get off the subway, she was in her fancy coat, but she did look like she had bed head. She also had a bag with her.

“Thanks for doing this.” She told him.

“Why couldn’t I drive?”

“Everything is just crazy up there.” She told him.

The snow was awful and the wind was harsh. It was shocking to see people in the streets fighting, but they couldn’t be heard over the wind. He saw Y/n kept her eyes shut and couldn’t walk as fast as he could. He took her hand and brought her close to him, and then he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to make sure she didn’t slip. Out of instinct she began to wrap her arm around his back, but stopped herself remembering who it was.

“It’s fine, I don’t want you to fall.” He told her.

She grabbed onto them as they walked two blocks to his apartment. Though things had been rough, that long walk felt like lifting things. He was needed, and he could still help her, he wasn’t powerless in her problems. He looked down seeing her hide her face in his jacket. They made it inside the lobby of the apartment. Her grip on him was shaking from the freezing temperatures. She didn’t move at first. He didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t going to push her off of him. This is his chance to look good.

“We’re here.” He told her to take his arm back.

When she took her face out of his jacket, she instantly put her hands to her cheeks. She looked around the place and he started walking. It was a quiet walk, but it was mostly because their mouths were frozen shut. He too lived on a higher floor. The apartment was clean, not a lot of decorations. Just standard furniture filled the floor.

“I bet you’re the cleanest person our age.” She finally spoke.

“I don’t like clutter.” He told her.

“Thanks for letting me-“

“I told you, I wanted to help you.”

The comment didn’t match the tone he was going for.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you this…” she trailed off. He looked at her and saw she couldn’t even look at him. Her face was red from either the snow or the blush. Was she going to do it? Was she ready? “What happened?” She pointed at his hand which was bruised.

“Just an accident.” He told her.

“Were you fighting in the underground?” She asked.

How did she know? She started taking off her jacket to reveal she wasn’t in pajamas, just jeans and an oversized sweater.

“Why?”

“Kai!” She whined. “I know things are bad now, but things can’t be that bad to where you’re fighting. You could get hurt or-“ she got in his face and once she realized she started to back down.

He took the back of her head and put it on his shoulder. His glove was on, so she was safe. His other hand held her between her shoulder blades. This action surprised both of them, but he already knows she loves him. He can hear why later.

“Take your own advice and not worry about me so much.” He told her.

The words didn’t match the gesture, but his actions spoke louder than words.

“Kai, you’re…”

“I don’t mind you.” He told her. “But I don’t have much experience with this.” He told her.

“Yeah?” She looked up at him with stars full of her eyes.

Her hands snaked up to hold his shoulders for support. Their chests were pressed against one another. He bent down and closed his eyes. He kissed her through the mask. Her body was cold, he held her tighter and kissed her again.

He didn’t know what to do next. Do they keep kissing? She was still in his arms. It wasn’t awkward yet. She put her head next to his neck.

“This is real right?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He told her.

“You always knew, didn’t you.”

“No.” He told her.

“Oh my god!” She laughed. She leaned back but held on to him. “Seriously.”

He knew 90% of the time she had feelings for him. It was only recently he started doubting it.

“I told you I’m new to this.”

He was holding back every urge to ask why, or for her to say anything. He just wanted to hear them. She came back into his chest.

“I do love you, Kai.” She told him. “You’re the closest person to me.”

There was something that was about to come up to where she takes it back.

“Lets just take this all slow.” She told him.

“Slow?”

He had mixed feelings about that. There was so much time already lost from being on opposite ends of the earth. However he’s not good at this subject either.

“Why rush, you’re worth the wait.” She told him

“You want anything to eat or drink.” He offered.

“More wine?”

“No.”

She laughed. She got out of his arms and went through her bag. He didn’t want the feelings to go back down, even if they were taking it slow. He took off his mask. It was a moment of courage, but he’ll take what he wants. He wrapped his arms around her from behind. One went under her sweater while the other turned her head.

“Kai…”

She turned to face him as she fell onto the couch. Her arms wrapped around his neck. Her lips were warm and full. Her body was soft. He felt her up and down. His hand caught her pants, but then he stopped. He wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t confident enough for that. She noticed.

“You know you have a handsome face?” She told him.

“Yeah?” He took that hand and pressed it to her cheek.

“Yeah.” She told him. “Do you mind if I use the shower? I don’t have hot water at my place.”

Was she slowing down or giving him another chance?

“Yeah bathrooms over there.” He pointed.

“You’re the best.” She said,

Y/n stood at the door frame. She smiled at him. He gave her one back and she went in. The water ran. He didn’t know what was holding him back. He wanted Y/n that way, and she would do whatever he said, so why was he so nervous? The water stopped and she was drying off.

“Your ready for bed?” Y/n came out only in her oversized sweater.

“I have more work to do.” He told her.

“Alright, but don’t forget to take care of yourself.” She told him.

In his bedroom she slept soundly. She slept on top of the duvet cover and hugged a pillow in place of the man she still wouldn’t cuddle because she still doesn’t know how much she’s willing to push the boundary. It’ll be more up to him.

Kai still sat there on the couch. He was paralyzed by his thoughts and despised the idea that this was his reality. He was loved by her didn’t know why? With the uncertainty, doubts came in.

She was too precious. Cuddling by herself in the bed. Her soft hair was sprawled around her. Her bare legs were bent. Her body was asking to be a little spoon. He wanted to be that man she wants, but he couldn’t command his body to be as such. The worst part was she understood it, and didn’t bother him about it. He joined her in the bed, but just laid on his back. She didn’t move the whole night, not one disturbance. He didn’t sleep much. He took a lock of her hair and played with it for awhile.

Next https://tryingfe-imaginesblog.tumblr.com/post/613800170923130880/overhaulxreader-part-12-in-the-morning-breakfast

[vios-rockland-corner]

Rockland: Cops

The date of this post is 5/16/20.  Please note that information revealed at this time via Patreon or any of the creator’s blogs may be subject to change after this date.

Pretty much every town has to have some form of police to keep the peace, and Rockland is no exception.  Problem is, we know Rockland is a rather dangerous place with criminals getting away with a lot more than they should.  What are the cops in Rockland like then?

(Spoilers below for Rumors of Rockland Article 1)

I’ve mentioned the police in different posts here and there when appropriate because we know they exist. We’ve never actually gotten any real confirmation though about what they are like.  Only recently do we have the confirmed name of at least one cop in the Rockland canon: Roy.  Roy, for those who don’t know, was actually created to be part of the Mark of Belial game even before the Rockland universe had been fully conceptualized.  It’s been quite a while since then, but if I recall correctly he was portrayed as more of a tough cop who took his cases seriously and didn’t like people like the news nosing into his business when he’s trying to do his dang job.  Not only could I be wrong though, his character could be revamped to a different personality for Rockland.  All we know right now is apparently the local drug dealer thinks he looks pretty fine (I don’t disagree with that from old illustrations.  I eagerly await Roy’s return).

Lately I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how effective the police operate in Rockland and what these officers even think of their hometown.  We know they do their job to an extent, otherwise we wouldn’t be getting a Mark of Belial game in the future.  How well and often they do their job is an entirely different question though. Couple of questions I’d had:

1)     Are the bulk of police people who’ve grown up in Rockland and lived there their whole life?  Or do more of them move or transfer there from other divisions?  Is it a mix?

If they’ve been long term citizens, there’s a higher chance they’re more familiar with certain groups, missing casings and other strange things around town.  Maybe people move or transfer to Rockland assuming it’s easy work at first but then find it’s a lot MORE work than anticipated due to the sheer number of dangerous individuals living there (this may even drive new officers away).  Or maybe it’s the opposite and it feels like there’s nothing either to do (like a lot of illegal activities have just been expertly kept quiet), or that there’s nothing someone of the law CAN do (like they feel there’s too many unknown variables for them to effectively protect everyone, or restrictions in the system).

2)     Are they aware of the town “abnormalities” or just think it’s a regular tourist trap?

This is huge.  What the officers themselves are aware of is going to greatly affect what they think of Rockland.  For example, if they’re a person who’s more conscious of the dangers in town and have a strong sense of justice, they may not have a whole lot of love for their town but still feel the urge to keep it clean.  Depending on how long an officer has worked in Rockland though, the persistent crimes that don’t get resolved may start to wear down a person, making them become pessimistic or lax in their duties because “nothing they ever do is enough.”  If an officer is completely in the blind though, they may just see Rockland as an easy going place where you’re just expected to get a couple calls here and there about speeding, theft and reckless drunks.  

3)     Do they tend to greet folks with a friendly face or do they tend to assume most people in town are up to no good?

This kind of works off of the previous question too.  The state of the officer’s work may affect how approachable they are.  If they’re only used to handling smaller offenses and feel more relaxed, they could be friendlier.  Of course, if an officer is completely unaware of Rockland’s darker nature, then how they treat residents relies solely on their own personality.  Officers with a lot more work to do or who have a lot on their mind though may not be as willing to entertain folks.  

4)     What do they think of tourists?  What do they think of people who have just moved to town?

If an officers knows that a fresh face coming in is more likely to either end up as a potential victim OR another psycho, they might not be so keen on outsiders stepping into their turf.  Then again, maybe they like to see new faces because it’s a breath of fresh air for them. Gets their mind out of their current world and helps them remember that not every place is like Rockland.  

For tourists, the officers probably aren’t going to question why they’re there.  It sounds like a tourist town, so that’s self-explanatory. With a new resident though, they may wonder why they moved to Rockland of all places.  Now sometimes there isn’t any particular reason.  It may just fit some criteria for the mover, but otherwise there’s no special meaning or attachment.  If an officer knows how Rockland operates though in the shadows, they might not be able to stop thinking, “Of all the places you could have gone…”  I don’t know either if an officer will attempt to watch a tourist or new resident more carefully for their protection…or if they’ll actively turn a blind eye because they’re expecting the worst (and don’t want to feel as bad IF something happens to them).

5)     Do they knowingly let things slip under the radar or are they simply out of the loop?

This is similar to my second question, I know.  I’m just kind of re-emphasizing here that there has to be a reason why so many people don’t get caught in Rockland.  If the officers are knowledgeable about all these activities, what stops them from protecting more people?  Apathy? Do they not have the resources to stop all of these folks?

6)     Are they restricted by their higher ups or by certain groups around town?

Now maybe the officers themselves don’t take as much action as they should due to their own personality and views.  But what if you have an officer that’s incredibly gung-ho about keeping everyone safe? What’s stopping them?  Well their higher-ups may withhold certain information from them or directly order them to keep their distance from some situations. These higher-ups could either be corrupt themselves, or being coerced to do so by certain groups of Rockland.  We know there are people in the Black Market business and groups like the Professionals around.  These sinister groups may have a strong hold over Rockland that makes it difficult for the police to perform at full capacity.

7)     Are they usually pretty lazy or do they crack down harder in Rockland than they would other places?

This is just another reworded question for emphasis.  The officer’s personality, what they know, what duties they aren’t restricted from performing and how much their workload is all affect how serious they are going to take their job.

 Let’s talk about one particular viewpoint we have from someone who commits illegal activities in Rockland: Tyler.  One of the weirdest things I have to say is that surprisingly selling drugs is probably on the lower end in Rockland of “illegal activities.”  Yes, it’s definitely illegal, but if you’ve played “The Misfits: First Blood” demo I think you’d agree that there are FAR worse things that happen in this town.  

When Tyler mentions getting out of being arrested by the cops by either providing them drugs or a sexual favor, it’s a little more insightful than you think.  This tells us that the local drug dealer doesn’t feel threatened by the cops.  Now we don’t know too much about Tyler yet.  He could be joking around here.  He was half-joking about selling the MC drugs only because he WOULD but he didn’t have any on him at that time.  Or he could just be a little prideful.  Now the tone he uses doesn’t feel anything like “disdain” or “annoyance” towards the cops.  He’d gladly go down on Roy, so there’s even a weird compliment there. He’s just not afraid of them. Maybe that would change if a cop was directly in front of him?  Lots of people like to talk a big game when they’re out of earshot from authority like that.

Now if what Tyler says is NOT a joke though, then that means the cops in Rockland are either easily persuaded or just don’t take their jobs seriously.  That does not necessarily bode well for public safety.  Maybe these cops don’t take the drug dealing as seriously though because they have bigger fish to fry.  Who knows.

Never thought I’d analyze a scene where a guy talk about blowing cops, but there you go.

It should be noted that I’m sure lots of these cops have individual personalities and a mix of long-term resident vs. newbie, knowledgeable vs. in the dark, and lazy vs. dutiful means that one common depiction won’t necessarily reflect the entire police force. Depends on how many active officers we’ll end up meeting or hear about I suppose.

I am indeed fully aware that even with a capable police force though, crime will still happen. It’s impossible for the police to nab every single criminal at the perfect moment and keep things clean. Unfortunately people get away sometimes, or you just have to be at the right place at the right time to catch/stop them.  Maybe there’s nothing unusual or weak about the Rockland police force after all. Rockland itself is just too much.

I don’t know when we’ll see our first cop in Rockland.  We will probably see or hear more about some in the Rumors of Rockland installments first before Mark of Belial I assume.  I’ll just have to wait patiently.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi! i saw your other post of johnlock fic lists and i wondered if you'd be doing more? if so, are there any case fics you'd recommend? :,) also, just wanted to mention how much i love your blog theme haha, sorry for bothering and have good day!

Hi Lovely!

YOU BETCHA! I’ve been sorting fics for a couple years offline and I’m getting good at guessing what y’all will be asking for so I start lists in case they get asked for LOL. That and I love when y’all are interested in seeing what I enjoy reading :) I’ve many requests now, so yeah, they may be more common than usual!

ANYWAY, I’ve lots of Case Fics! Definitely not all of them, but here’s what I got for you that I’ve sorted so far! Friends, feel free to add your own!

(I had some on my MFL List but Tumblr Deleted all my links so they’ll have to wait until the next one LOL)

CASE FICS

Promise of Sussex by LittleLongHairedOutlaw (T, 705 w. || First Person POV Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Angst, Pining, Ambiguous Ending) – John tries to keep Sherlock conscious after he’s been shot on a case.

God Save The Queen by Alice Day (K+, 1,398 w. || Humour, Mystery, Friendship) – Sherlock has a new case. John is petrified. The Queen is amused.

Back in the Saddle by grannysknitting (M, 1,577 w. || Post TGG AU, Donovan POV, Observation / Introspection, Protective Sherlock, Injured John, Case-ish Fic) – Their first return to solving crime after the pool and the explosion.

Caught by Salambo06 (E, 1,859 w. || Frottage, First Time / Kiss, Bed Sharing, Wet Dreams, POV John, Masturbation) – A hotel room. They’re here for a case, hadn’t planned to spend the night and ended up sharing a room. No, sharing a bed. Suddenly John is very much aware of his own hand closed around his hard cock and the ragged breathing next to him. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, John dares to turn his head just enough to confirm what he already knows. Sherlock, on his side, watching him.

The Adventure of the Mysterious Appearance of Tissues by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 1,910 w. || Fluff, Humour, Sick John, Caring Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort) – In which there is a case, John has caught a cold and is not interested in investigating, Mrs Hudson is away and Sherlock does the shopping.

The Case of the Missing Blogger by nicknack22 (K, 2,147 w. || Fluff, Humour, Friendship, Worried / Anxious Sherlock) – Alternately titled, The Case of the Oblivious Consulting Detective. In which Sherlock comes out of his mind palace to discover John missing. 221B does not fair well as a result.

Love Hurts by Grac3 (T, 2,215 w.|| Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock, One-Sided Pining / URT, Sherlock / John Whump, Angst, Ambiguous Ending) – In a world where someone’s physical injuries manifest themselves on the person who is in love with them, John didn’t think that there would ever be anyone who was willing to risk falling in love with him - until he got shot on a case, and it didn’t hurt. Unrequited Johnlock.

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

The Case of the Made-Up Case by DoubleNegative (T, 2,394 || Fake Relationship, Clubbing, First Kiss, For Science) - Sherlock takes John to a club. For a “case.” Yes, John, a case. Part 1 of The (Secret) Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Work On Your Balance by speculate (K+, 2,448 w. || Embarassed Sherlock, “For A Case”, Skating, Fluff, Friendship, Humour) – In which John is actually pretty good at ice skating, Sherlock’s not and insists it’s all for a case , and Lestrade is pretty amused by it all.

The Many Faces of Concern by sdrawkcabemdaer5 (K+, 2,473 w. || Friendship, Angsty Fluff, John Whump, Mildly Clueless / Guilty Sherlock) – John is injured on a case, leading to some surprising reactions and discoveries about their friendship.

Domino by Deception’s Call (K, 2,689 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Scared / Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Crying Sherlock, Hospital, Implied Caretaker Sherlock) – When John is injured on a case and is admitted to the hospital, those at Scotland Yard come to realize that perhaps Sherlock Holmes has a heart after all.

Not My Proudest Moment by charlock221 (K, 2,695 w. || Lunar New Year, Mild PTSD / Panic Attack, Coping Mechanisms, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – John tries his best not to get in the way of Sherlock’s cases, but when the vivid noises of fireworks unnerve his senses and begin to bring back unwanted memories of Afghanistan, he cannot help but to hope Sherlock will notice and help him before things go too far.

Extraordinary by ardenteurophile (T, 2,739 w. || Angst, Pining, Romance, Second Person POV Sherlock, Pre-Slash) – Sherlock tries to understand his preoccupation with one Doctor John Watson - the one case he can never solve.

Undercurrents by entanglednow (E, 2,996 w. || Disturbing Things, Crime Scene Fetish, Pseudo-Necrophilia, PWP, Masturbation) – “There, that’s it, perfect, shut your eyes and don’t move - and don’t speak.“

The Dangers of Dating by verityburns (T, 3,325 w. || Friendship, Case Fic, No Slash, John Whump, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock and John acquire a new client… with a very unusual problem.

A Bit of Indulgence by beltainefaerie (NR, 3,364 w. || Fake Relationship, Pride Parade, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – A case leads John and Sherlock to fake being boyfriends and John runs into an old acquaintance.

Worth It by JezebelGoldstone (G, 3,467 w. || Fluff, Humour, Injury, H/C, Cuddling) – John receives a minor injury during a case, and Sherlock’s reaction makes John wonder if Sherlock is the best friend he’s ever had, or the worst.

Coldness/Heat by agirlsname (E, 3,790 w. || Cuddling & Snuggling, Body Heat, New Year’s Eve, PWP, Bedsharing, Frottage) – The inn is booked up on New Year’s Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing.You know where this is going. Part 1 of New Year’s Kiss

Equine Arse Anonymity by Kayjaykayme (E,  3,834 w. || Est. Rel., Public Sex, Coming in Pants, Humour, Halloween, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock needs to speak with suspects at a fancy dress ball. He chooses a couple’s costume for himself and John. It is logical, practical and well thought out. John doesn’t agree and exacts sweet revenge.

In the cherry blossom’s shade by Eliane (M, 3,934 w. || Post S3, First Time / Kiss, Sleeping Together, Pining / Obsessive Sherlock, Minor Char. Death) – This isn’t new. Sherlock has already done this – has gone through cities, and dingy hotels, and sleepless nights but it was different before. John wasn’t there before. They’re in this together.

No Good Without You by textsandscones (T, 4,021 w. || Case Fic, Busking, Violins, Soppy Fluff) – A diverting new case surrounding musicians and stolen instruments captures Sherlock’s attention, the consequences of which lead both detective and doctor to see one another in a different light. Part 1 of Prompt Fills

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Experiment by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 4,222 w. || Non-Con Drugging, Hurt Comfort, Friendship) – Of course John has always known about his flatmate’s irregular sleeping habits, especially when they’re on a case. This time, however, the case is taking longer and longer, and soon John starts to worry. But there’s not much he can do, is there? Because drugging Sherlock isn’t an option. Not yet, maybe, but will it be soon? {{CW: John drugs Sherlock without his consent}}

On Hiatus: Rotterdam by rukushaka (T, 4,240 w. || Friendship, Drama, Couple For A Case, Post-TRF, John Joins Sherlock, No Slash) – “Used them after uni a bit. Purely for research purposes, of course,” Sherlock said tiredly, head lolling against John’s shoulder.“ Sherlock goes on a mission alone, or: Two blokes in a luxury hotel in the Netherlands. Non-linear timeline. Set during the Hiatus.

What You Are Worth by Lastew (T, 4,488 w. || Observant but Insecure John, Friendship, Crime / Case Fic) – John helps Sherlock with a case, but he questions his real value to Sherlock.  

Let Down by Gandalf3213 (K+, 4,505 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, John Whump, Insecure John) – John truly is sorry for letting Sherlock down. The only thing he wanted to do was finish the case, but bleeding out in a dark alley makes it harder for him to pursue that murderer running out of sight.

It Isn’t Strange Until You Think About It by ivyblossom (T, 4,596 w. || For A Case, First Time, First Person John POV) – John tells the truth about how it happened. For some reason, “it’s for a case” always seems to do the trick.

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock’s Kinky First Times

Unforgiven by 221b_hound (M, 4,721 w. || Marriage Proposal, Victor Trevor, Jealous / Protective John, Jealous Sherlock, Sherlock’s Past) – Sherlock’s latest case is for his ex boyfriend, the brilliant and handsome Professor Victor Trevor. John is not too happy about that. But things aren’t what they seem, an old friend of John’s is involved in the case, and John has a few surprises up his sleeve. Also - a proposal! Part 16 of Unkissed

What Happens in Vegas (is legally binding in the United Kingdom) by  moonblossom (E, 5,051 w. || Accidental Marriage, Friends to Husbands to Lovers, CSI Crossover, Fluff & Porn, Bathtub Sex, Hand Jobs, First Time) – When a case sends the boys to Vegas, John comes out of it with a bit more than he bargained for. Part 19 of Prompt Fills, Remixes, Works inspired by others

The Honeymoon Suite by Salambo06 (E, 5,827 w. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, Frottage, First Kiss, Cuddling/Snuggling/Sleepy Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Holidays / Hotels, Case Fic) – “You’ll see,” the receptionist smiles, handing John the key to their room, “This honeymoon suite is quite spectacular. Our hotel has won many awards, most of them for these rooms.” John nods, licking his lips and playing with the key in his hand. We’ll probably be leaving first thing in the morning, he wants to tell her. As soon as Sherlock proves who robbed the previous couple who booked a room here, we’re out of here and stopping this happily married charade. “Thank you,” he says instead.

Tease You Till You Come by phoenix089 (E, 6,090 w. || First Time, Clueless Sherlock, Texting) – Initially, Sherlock was rather put out by John’s lack of presence on the case. But then he starts to receive pictures, several of them, of an unexpected nature. The case is forgotten rather quickly after that.

Closeted by sussexbound (T, 6,115 w. || Love Confession, First Kiss, Games, Trapped in a Closet) – Sherlock and John get trapped in a closet while on a case. Some revelations are made while they play a game to pass the time. Part 1 of Intimacy

Disguises are always a self-portrait by yellowteapots (NR, 6,223 w. || Case Fic, First Kiss, POV John, Fake Rel.) – Sherlock and John head out of town on a case of murder / suicide at a Pride Fest.

Lost for Words by notactivesherlockaccount (T, 6,709 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump, Temporary Mute John) – While on a case, John temporarily loses his ability to speak, and he and Sherlock have to find a new way to communicate.

The space between by Salambo06 (E, 6,830 w. || PWP, Friends to Lovers, Masturbation, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Miscommunications, Bottom Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Sexual Fantasy) – “It’s for a case,” Sherlock says as soon as John looks down at his computer. John remains silent for a long moment, eyes moving from the screen to Sherlock, before saying, “You don’t have to explain.” His voice is low, too low, and Sherlock looks at the computer, putting the video on pause. “Lestrade asked me-, no, forced me to find out who’s threatening a famous porn star, and the suspect is among his co-stars, so I only need to watch out for any signs from his partners, anything that might show they’re the one sending those threats and I can move to something else.” “Right.”

A Kiss and a Cuddle should be Sufficient by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 6,853 w. || Gay Sex Club, Group Sex, Fellatio, Anal, Fake Relationship, PWP, Orgies, Rimming, BJ’s, Violence, Case Fic, Voyeurism) – Going undercover, Sherlock and John pursue a vicious killer to a gay group sex party. Not unexpectedly, things get a little out of hand. Set after Baskerville, but before the Fall.

Hide and Seek by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 6,934 w. || Angst, Rev. Reich-ish, Mycroft is a Dick, Depression, Case Fic-ish, Friendship, Reunion) – Pseudo sequel to “The Refining Fire.” “You owe him the truth, and you owe me the proof that will convince him that I had no part in this.”

In Which “John” Becomes a Synonym for “Help” by asignoftwo (T, 7,391 w. || Injured John, Worried Sherlock, Fluff) –  After the fall Sherlock returns to Baker Street and is reunited with John. When John is injured on a case Sherlock is faced with the reality that he could lose John again, and it tears him apart.

Drowning in Darkness by chappysmom (T, 7,575 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped John, Post-TRF Hiatus / Reunion, John Whump, Angst with Happy Ending, Depressed John, Background Case Fic) – He couldn’t decide if it was a relief or a curse that he’d been left completely, absolutely alone. You couldn’t fight darkness with your fists, and no matter how strong your will-power, it could be beaten down by the constant monotony of nothingness. Nobody needed John.

On Favors and Keeping Score by Ewebie (G, 7,622 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, Fluff, John Whump) –  John woke up to the horribly unpleasant sound of his clock alarm. Which meant he’d slept through his phone’s alarm. And for a moment he glared blearily at the noisemaker before smacking at it with his palm. Ugh, he felt like rubbish. The back of his throat was burning with the irritation that heralded a proper dose, his nose was threatening to drip every few seconds, and he had the uncomfortable flush that normally suggested a fever. Nothing high, just uncomfortable. Nothing deadly, just irritating. Nothing worth calling in sick with, just a full day of discomfort in the face of other people’s discomfort. It was going to be a day where he was forced to bite his tongue from telling people off. “You’re not as sick as I am, so off you pop.” Part 7 of Tumblr Shorts

Correspondence by Cleo2010 (T, 8,031 w. || Letters, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Dating ) – Sherlock’s been spirited away on a case for Mycroft. Part of the deal was that he and John could communicate via letter until the case was completed. Maybe the cliche is true, absence does make the heart grow fonder. Or perhaps something is growing on the feet in the fridge. Read their letters month by month.

A Dangerous Mix by thebakerstreetgirl (K, 8,077 w. || Angst, Whump, Drugs, Hurt/Comfort) – During a case, John gets attacked and Sherlock and Lestrade find him with a mysterious drug running through the army doctor’s veins.

A Friend Indeed by Sanru (K+, 8,190 w. || Missing John, Friendship, Drama, Introspection, Possessive Sherlock, Worried Sherlock) – Something has gone terribly wrong with a supposedly simple case. John Watson is missing. While the search for him is proving to be fruitless, it has made Sherlock realize that having an emotional attachment to someone may have its disadvantages but he liked being able to call John his friend. Now if only he could find out what happened to him…

What Meets the Eye by worldaccordingtofangirls (M, 8,251 w. || Amnesia, Fluff) – Amnesia is just another case to solve. Piece together unfamiliar faces, reconstruct the old identity, the lost reality. A challenge that Sherlock could even enjoy. He can read people like books. The man with the silver hair is his boss. The tottering old woman, his landlady. The girl with the worried look in her eyes…infatuated. And as for John Watson? His husband. Obviously.

Every Night I Look for You by destinationtoast (E, 8,377 w. || Post-TRF, Angst, Mystery, Unsafe Sex, BAMF John) – Every night, John looks for familiar hints of Sherlock in the men he meets in bars, and he does with them all the things he wishes he’d done before. Eventually, he stumbles into a situation that Sherlock would know how to handle, and John must decide whether he can handle it without him.

The Very Unlikely Existence of a Flightless Bird in a Tuxedo by cwb (E, 8,829 w. || Poetry, Penguins / Animals / Zoos, First Kiss / Time, Blow / Hand Jobs, Sleepy Cuddles, Endearments, Friendship / Love, Adorable / Sleepy Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock Can’t Say Penguin) – A case at the zoo reveals something John finds cute about Sherlock. A conversation ensues, and so does happy endings.

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E, 9,020 w. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Humour, Romance, Smut, Case Fic, Self-Esteem Issues) – John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it’s for a case. Of course it doesn’t stay that way. Part 8 of I Blame Tumblr

What I Hide By My Language, My Body Utters by PixChuu22 (M, 9,047 w. || Fake Relationship, For a Case, Friends to Lovers) - Based on a prompt from Tumblr user thetwogaydetectives - “fake relationship that ends up being so real, they finally realize they are in love.”

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w. || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

We Might Not Make It Home by Ballykissangel (K+, 10,702 || Angst, Hurt/Comfort, No Slash) – A few months later they are on a case that has gone horribly wrong. They find themselves gravely wounded and locked in a cellar. Holding onto to each other and trying their best to stay alive Sherlock can’t bring himself to say another goodbye to his dying friend and John can’t find the will to live anymore and just wants to stop hurting. Sequel to When Evening Falls So Hard.

The Thin Line by Odamaki (M, 10,809 w. || Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Confessions, First Times, Anal) – John swallows. Keeps his eyes on Sherlock. Begs him not to ruin him.Sherlock leans forward over the witness box ever-so slightly, “I was distracted,” he informs the court, “by my partner, John Watson.”

Down with this Ship by FrostedFlame (PinkOrchid) (M, 10,862 w. || For a Case, Gay Bar, Pining, Coming Out, Slow Burn) – Sherlock drags John undercover to a gay bar - for a case, of course - looking forward to seeing John flustered by their surroundings (since you know, he’s NOT GAY). John decides that he has hidden both his orientation and his feelings for his daft flatmate for far too long. He is done hiding, time to be honest with his bloody best friend in the world. He just hopes it won’t change anything between them. And then it does.

The Dying Doctor by Transcendental Starlight (T, 11,258 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sick John / John Whump, ACD Rewrite) – Loosely based off ACD’s "The Dying Detective.” Sherlock relives a case that should have killed him, but instead resulted in John being hospitalized for a deadly disease. Sherlock endeavors to catch the murderer, while attempting to envision a future without John Watson. No Slash.

A Terrific Soporific by antietamfalls (T, 11,269 w. || Bed Sharing, Sleepy Cuddles, Fluff, Insomnia, Experiments, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock, a long-time sufferer of insomnia, is forced to share a bed with John at a hotel while on a case. To his astonishment, he finds that spending the night next to John helps him sleep and becomes determined to maneuver himself back into John’s bed.

The Red Dianthus by kinklock (T, 11,382 w. || Supernatural Elements, BAMF!John, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Romance, Halloween, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – The boys investigate a mysterious disappearance in a supposedly haunted house, and get much more than they bargained for.

The River Variations by withoutawish (T, 11,619 w. || Soulmates, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Three Garridebs, Romance, Light Case Fic, Near Death Experience, Angst and Fluff) – John Watson never knew that he wanted a ‘no toast in the mornings’ normal until he realized what an honor it is to be destroyed by Sherlock Holmes.

Rainbow Hearts Retreat by PajamaSecrets (E, 11,638 w. || Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Undercover, Fluff and Smut, Bed-Sharing, Therapy, Humour/Crack, First Time) – “It’s a same-sex couples retreat. For those experiencing troubles in their relationship. Consists of group and couples therapy as well as encouraging socialization between the couples. It’s all in their incredibly dull brochure.” “Rainbow Hearts Retreat,” John read. “Sounds… quite gay.”

Equilibrium by augustbird (M, 12,351 w. || Jealous then Worried Sherlock, Sick John) – At Baskerville, John is infected by a virus that turns him into a genius. But when the infection progresses into neurodegeneration, it’s a race against time to save himself. Flowers for Algernon fusion.

And Here We Are by J_Baillier (T, 12,416 w. || ASiP Fic, Alternating First Person POV, Drama, Friendship, Mild Case Fic, Autism Spectrum Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Protective John, Pining, Homophobia, Loneliness, Angst, Humour, Domestics, Morbid Fluff, Kidnapping) – All the little things we never got to see when an army doctor and a consulting detective were adjusting to sharing a flat. And a life.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of “Fucking Baked Goods” - Sherlock BBC

Understanding by rizandace (T, 13,268 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Worried Sherlock, John Whump Then Sherlock Whump) – Sherlock’s hiding something about his newest case, and John wants answers. Set post-TGG. Friendship fic, mostly, with brief entrances from Harry and Lestrade just for fun.

I’m content as we are (but) by inqui (The_Circus) (E, 13,806 w. || Pining, UST, Jealousy, First Kiss, UST / RST, Victor Trevor) – In which John Watson sees something unusual, becomes jealous, and makes too much of a small thing as an old friend of Sherlock’s shows up in the middle of a case.

Your Eyes in Darkness Glowing by tamed_untranslatable (E, 14,686 w. || Est. Rel., Case Fic, Hotel Sex, Bottomlock, Anal, BJ’s, Porn With Feelings, Homophobia) – Sherlock gets roped into a case in Moscow on his brother’s insistence, but finds that he can’t do it without John.

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Missing Christmas Spirit by SilentAuror (M, 15,002 w. || Christmas, Domesticity, Post S3, Happy Ending) – John hates Christmas. So does Sherlock, but he suggests that they do Christmas “properly” this year to see if they can’t track down its elusive magic and discover for themselves what Christmas is supposed to be about.

Obsession by storylover18 (K+, 15,213 w. || HC, Case Fic, Friendship) - Dr. John Watson wakes up ill one morning but it is not the 24 hour flu he thinks it was. Soon he lands in hospital, quickly deteriorating and Sherlock must work to find out what has happened to his blogger before it is too late. Case!fic mixed with sick!fic / No slash.

Till Death Do Us Part by prettysailorsoldier (M, 15,390 w. || Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Friends to Lovers, Fake Marriage, Christmas, Fluff) – When Sherlock links a recent spree of murder-suicides to a psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling, there’s really only one thing to do: Go undercover as a couple in hopes of drawing the killer out. Faking a relationship seems easy enough, but things take a turn when their real issues start to creep into the sessions, and, all the while, a killer is watching, waiting in the shadows for their chance to strike.

A Silver Sixpence by doodle (E, 16,400 w. || LIVEJOURNAL || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, Case Fic, ) - John and Sherlock have to get married for a case, and learn some things about each other.

A Hundred Thousand Ways to Say the Name John by Jberry (E, 16,825 w. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, POV John, Pining John, Cruise Ship, Angst & Fluff) –  John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts. Part 1 of Baetica

Hope for Heroes by Richefic (K+, 16,887 w. || Post-TGG Fic, Introspection / Flashbacks, Friendship/Epic Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Anxious Sherlock, Sherlock Admires John, BAMF John, John Deduces, Fancy Party, John’s Self Esteem, Domestics) – In the final moments of “The Great Game” Holmes hopes he will have the chance to tell his flatmate that he was wrong. Heroes do exist after all and the one in front of him is called Dr John Watson.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (E, 19,695 w. || 5+1, Case Fic) – Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn’t understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John’s request.

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Mastrubation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock’s case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he’s pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they’ve made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

The Sexual Awakening of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson by suitesamba (M, 24,579 w. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, H/C, First Kiss/Time) – Sherlock owes Mycroft a favor. Mycroft calls in that favor by offering Sherlock’s consulting services in a charity auction. Sherlock and John soon find themselves at the country manor of Mrs. Ives-Patton Smarmington III - not very coincidentally a long-time friend of Sherlock’s mother - where they are reluctant participants in her Murder Mystery Weekend. It’s a play within a play for Sherlock and John, and their roles for the weekend event bleed over into their real lives, waking the sleeping dragons within.

Trust Me, Trust Nobody by BlueMoonOnTheRise (T, 27,751 w. || Kidnapping, Friendship / No Slash, Adventure, Trust Issues) – Whatever he told Mycroft, John trusted Sherlock almost instantly. When a new case shows up - smattered with the usual thrill of danger, death and cool logic - such trust ends up pushed to its very limits…

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

M Is For Moriarty by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 29,882 w. || Suspense, Mystery, Case Fic, Worried Sherlock, No Slash, Whump) – A figure at the end of the hospital bed; a needle in the dark…Moriarty has John, and Sherlock must follow the paper trail through London to find him before time runs out. Sequel to BANG.\

Jack In The Box by Liketheriver (T, 30,785 w. || Romance, Case Fic, H/C, Lestrade First POV) – John’s been kidnapped, Mycroft has rules, and Lestrade has to do his best to keep up with Sherlock as they deal with a returning foe. Lestrade POV as he and Sherlock work to find John, even though that’s the last thing John seems to want. Part 2 of Bedtime Universe

The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 || Sickfic, Angst with Happy Ending, Case Fic, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Jealous Sherlock, Body Image Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional H/C, POV Sherlock, Oral / Anal, Thong, Frottage) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a “harmless” virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,690 w. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s ‘Heart of Darkness’, and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts’ now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Pater Noster by SilentAuror (E, 34,256 w. || Case Fic, HLV+, Family Trauma, Sherlock POV, Villain Mary) – During the autumn that John is staying at Baker Street again after Sherlock was shot, he ruminates over the similarity between Sherlock’s shot and the one that killed his father when he was fifteen. Cold case meets series 3 fix-it. Part I takes place entirely within His Last Vow, Part II takes place starting at the end of HLV and continues after.

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away…

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn’t walked through the park and met Stamford? What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Goodness Gives Extras by mydwynter (E, 39,629 w. || Fluff & Angst, Case Fic, Oral / Anal, Humour, First Time, Miscommunication, Snark, Christmas) – Christmas time. ‘Tis the season to settle down with a drink, some food and a present or two, and to enjoy the quiet relaxation of the holiday. Instead, there’s a case that drags them all over, missing presents, disappointed kids, angry parents, and a freak snowfall. On top of that John has to deal with Sherlock, who is being even more of a prat than usual. He really shouldn’t have expected anything different.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn’t It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock’s forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don’t worry, things’ll be fine in just seven days.

The Semantics of Crop Circle Formation: a case study by Sherlock Holmes [unpublished] by canolacrush (M, 41,710 w. || Sherlock POV, Aliens, Wordplay, Case Fic) – “Look at these photographs,” I said, gesturing to the wall of crop circles. “What do you observe?”“Crop circles,” John replied.“Obvious. What else?”“Are…are those intestines surrounding them?”“Yes. The majority are bovine and ovine in origin. The farmers who have acquired these crop circles in their fields have also had a tenth of their livestock murdered and arranged thus.”“Why?” John said, presumably in a rhetorical fashion. I detest rhetorical questions. “That is what I must find out, John.”

Resistivity and Relative Charge by liriodendron (E, 41,750 w. || Synesthesia, Angst, Case Fic, Romance, Est. Rel., Homophobia, Religious Content, Victor Trevor, Mild Jealous John, Mild John Whump) – In which Sherlock Holmes meets an old acquaintance, John Watson doesn’t enjoy a trip to the country quite as much as he thought he would, and the past absolutely refuses to stay where it belongs. Part 3 of Conductivity

In the Still of the Night by SilentAuror (E, 42,234 w. || S4 Fix It / Post-S4, Sherlock POV, Angst, Drama, Romance, Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Misunderstandings / Miscommunications, Case Fic, Travelling, Pining) – As locals on the Northeastern coast begin to report UFO sightings, life at Baker Street becomes significantly awkward as John brings up his desire for more than friendship and Sherlock refuses him. They embark on the investigation from the confines of the tiny cottage Mycroft has rented for them, attempting to navigate both the clues of the case as well as their own inability to communicate…

Bloody But Unbowed by BeautifulFiction (E, 43,211 w. || Abduction, John Whump, Mild Torture, Background Case Fic, Friends to Lovers, Post-TRF / S3 Rewrite, Hurt/Comfort) – When a familiar argument threatens to destroy the last remnants of John and Sherlock’s failing friendship, both men are left questioning their worth to one another. Before either of them has the chance to make amends, circumstance intervenes. John is left at the mercy of his abductors, and this time, he’s not sure Sherlock will bother coming to his rescue.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

Sentenced by SarahKnight (T, 44,777 w. || Dev. Rel., Alternate S4 Canon, Drama, Angst, Pining, Feelings are Hard) – Virtual series 4 opener. Sherlock’s in prison being targeted by a murderer, John’s married to a pregnant assassin and Moriarty’s back.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w. || Magical Realism) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case … and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w. || Case Fic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w. || Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock’s faked death and return.

Holmes is where the heart is by Rose de Sharon (T, 49,636 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Post-TRF, Reunion Fic, Bromance, Empty House Inspired, Adventure) – Three years after the Reichenbach Fall. On the anniversary of Sherlock’s death, John pays a visit at 221 B Baker Street… and he gets the shock of his life.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape, BAMF John) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Wars We Fought, Things We’re Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w. || Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case) –  Five months after John’s world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock’s first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

Bridging the Ravine by SilentAuror (E, 58,887 w. || Post S4, Couple For a Case, Bed-Sharing, First Times, Confessions, Awkwardness, Sex Trafficking) – Sherlock and John go undercover at Ravine Valley, a therapy centre for same-sex male couples in an investigation into a possible human trafficking ring. As they pose as a couple and fake their way through the therapy sessions for the sake of the case, it quickly becomes difficult to avoid discussing their very real issues. Set roughly six nine months after series 4.

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it’s all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn’t have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief…

The Bells of King’s College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It’s only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths…

Bedtime Universe by Liketheriver (M, 65,173 w. across 2 stories || Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Angst, Humour, Case Fic) – John’s POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more.

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier (T, 67,085 w. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w. || Case Fic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit…

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse… Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

The Moonlight and the Frost by CaitlinFairchild (E, 77,289 w. || Case Fic, Post-HLV, Self Harm, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Oral/Anal/Rimming, Romance, Angst, Mary is Not Nice) – John has to somehow rebuild his life in the wake of Mary’s betrayal and Sherlock’s deceptions.

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 85,535 w. || Sentinel / Guides AU, Omegaverse, Aventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he’s kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (T, 91,009 w. || Fake Relationship, Post-TRF, Case Fic) – John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level…

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w. || Alternate Future AU || , Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It’s 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn’t need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w. || FutureAU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say:Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w. || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, H/C, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mildly DubCon) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

To Light Another’s Path by BeautifulFiction (E, 128,654 w. || Post-TGG, Sick Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction / Recreational Drug Use, First Time / Kiss, Case Fic) – Teaching John to observe seems to be a losing battle, but when Sherlock falls ill and submits himself to John’s care, will he realise that there is more to life than the science of deduction? Meanwhile, there is a murder to solve, and John must try and convince Sherlock not to sacrifice his own health for the sake of the case.

Ten Days by Engazed (E, 137,208 w. || Rape/Non-Con, Post-TRF, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture, Case Fic) – Sherlock Holmes has been dead for forty months, and John is at last beginning to live his life again. But just when he believes he might be happy, his world crashes back down around him.John is named a missing person. Someone is pointing DI Lestrade in the wrong direction. And as the days pass, his situation only grows more dire. It seems like the disappearance of his best friend is the only thing that can bring Sherlock Holmes back from the dead. Part 1 of The Fallen

Colors by Quesarasara (E, 140,537 w. || Pleasantville-Inspired AU || Soulmates, Colour Bonds, Alternating POV, Angst, Fluff, Pining, Case Fic, Medical Procedures) – Everyone on earth is born with eyes that see in black, white, and an endless series of greys. When you meet your soulmate, you finally see the world in color. We’re all searching for the person who brings color to our lives. John and Sherlock are no exception. Part 1 of The Colors 'Verse

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate’s charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim?

Sketchy by serpentynka (E, 184,053 w. || Post-TRF, Post-Mary, John Whump, Slow Burn Love Story, Case Fic, Art, Porn With Feelings, Switchlock, Travelling, Career Change, Family Secrets, Illness / Health) – What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl – but cannot be ignored. Oh, and…porn.Part 1: Sherlock takes on an obvious case (barely a 4) and meets someone who will force him to re-examine what it means to see. Part 1 of Sketchy

[loudest-subtext-in-tv]

A Study in Fate teaser

Here’s the first 2200 words of a novel-length fanfic that I’ll finish sometime this year. It’s a WiP on an atypical schedule: At a later date I’ll release the rest of the first chapter, but then I’ll release everything else all at once.

Some authors don’t like if you hassle them to hurry up, but I may find it motivating. I’m going to attempt to get better at answering my asks/comments so feel free to ask me things about this fic, but keep in mind there’s a lot of things I won’t answer. Please be aware that no one cares if you don’t like first person perspective.

Though a big aspect of this story is about how to manage depression, it starts in a relatively dark place and weaves in and out of it. If you can’t handle unresolved distant thoughts of suicide right now, maybe wait until the entire story is posted.

Finally, I am doing okay financially right now, but two of my fandom friends are not. If you’ve ever wanted to give me money, I now have a Patreon. Anything you give me will help me help them.

Description: After the events of The Empty Hearse, Sherlock struggles to figure out who he is now that John no longer seems willing to play a prominent role in his life. As his mind runs in circles trying to parse their relationship and determine who threw John in the bonfire, his world is shattered by an enigmatic visitor: himself, bearing bad news from the future.

Series 3 time travel remix; series 4 compatible.

Tags and warnings: first person present, agonizing slow burn, explicit but romantic, depression, suicidal ideation, NOT FLUFF, self-actualization

Read on AO3 or under the cut:

Chapter One - The Curtain Rises

One can’t get far without an organizing principle. Every man needs one drive to which all others are subordinate, a touchstone that seizes him with purpose.

I had one once.

Now I have chips.

Dreadful organizing principle, chips: once you’ve got them, there’s nothing propelling you forward anymore. Have enough of them and you hardly want to move at all. God. I was in the best shape of my life, body and mind, and now I’m turning into Mycroft.

Except Mycroft has already transcended these struggles — or so he claims. Yet again, I’m lagging behind on a path I never wanted to follow. Splendid.

Any moment Mrs Hudson will come out and start chattering away about you. That will set me back the rest of the day, yet I won’t ascend the stairs. Does no part of my mind demand control of my brain stem? I’m meant to be some kind of genius: Any visionary corner of my psyche eager to make something of me? No takers?

No. Life is now nothing more but the wandering of here to there. And thoughts like that are why everyone thinks I’m a baby, so for god’s sake stop.

I am all too stopped.

Depression is a dowsing rod: shows you where to dig. So: Why do I halt here, at the bottom of the stairs? Why can’t I face the only place I’ve ever belonged?

It’s not merely that you don’t live here anymore. Not quite. That would be too easy.

Where are you wandering now, John? You got off work an hour ago. No one's called to alert me you've been kidnapped, so there's one thing I didn't miss today.

Still figuring that out, darling. Off my game. Maybe was never on it. Against my better judgment I let romance rot my mind, and you're the one who's suffered most. But I've recovered from less noble chemical weaknesses than your company. Against all odds I still draw breath. If I make myself do nothing else, I will turn this around. I'll prove you can rely on me.

Any threatening emails? You don't just attempt to incinerate a man and move on. For god's sake, give me something.

Oh. A text. Not a threat; a video from the homeless network. Must have been delayed whilst I was on the tube.

There you are, alive and unwell, and here responds my heart but it's nothing. Mere streets away from me, and nowhere near her flat. Why do you do this, John? Is your phone broken? We could just talk about this. Give me another chance and I swear I won't come on so strong. I was too presumptuous when we last spoke weeks ago. I broke your heart, I'm monstrous; you're no longer fond. I get it.

You're no longer fond, but you're in need of a hit. Which is curious, you realize. You understand how a man would get the impression... But no. I won't presume. Life is boring and I'm dangerous and bless you, you need a hit. Just come get one. I'll pretend I'm managing, I'll find a way to switch on that whole persona for you and you can do your hero worship thing. I won't act desperate.

Just show up, and I will respect your wishes.

Do anything but pensively stop on the sidewalk in front of shops you have no intention of entering. It just screams, I'm distracted! Kidnap me! It's been an age and I know you despise me, but if you keep doing this I'm going to have to conduct surprise drills again.

Maybe you're trying to get kidnapped. I wouldn't put it past you. Maybe it would be charity to send a car around for you to blithely climb into. Do you even think about how that would make Mary feel, John?

Of course, it's me you're thinking about right now. The tension in your posture, the unconscious clenching of your hand, the conflict evident on your face even from this distance: definitely me.

You know, I wasn't the only one who presumed. The papers presumed, the entire British populace presumed, even your sister presumed and surely she'd -- No matter. You've made yourself clear. Just: spare a thought for "the best thing that's ever happened" to you. I've no talent for consoling women on my best days, and I'd hate to see how I'd fare in a worse state than her.

No, I don't know that. I don't know that I love you more than she does. She's never broken your heart.

Oh. Wait, why...? For god's sake, Pilar, why would you approach him? He'll notice.

Well. Can't complain about seeing your eyes more clearly. Not good for my recovery. And there, yes, you've noticed. Paranoia in full swing, hackles raised, and a step forward. 'Can I help you?' in your usual tone that fashions a threat from etiquette.

Not good for my recovery, no. The things you do to my blood, John.

'Got a pound?'

'For someone recording me?' You scoff, narrow your eyes. 'Are you...?'

'Say, aren't you John Watson?' Oh, clever girl. Look at him, pretending he's not pleased to be recognized.

Yet nothing is ever simple with you, John.

'Yeah.' You're either too smart or too suspicious for your own good. (Freud would presume. I'm only saying.) 'Did he...?' You look directly at the camera; at me.

Come on! You assume it’s me? When roaming bands of criminals have set you aflame? Oh here we go, that spark in your eye -- you're going all in:

'Did you put her up to this?'

Oh well.

'Who? What makes you say that, sir?'

'Uh, well he does it all the time.' I don't. 'You know what? Just send it to him.'

'Not sure what you mean, sir.'

'Oh,' you laugh, 'you're not sure what I mean. Stop bloody recording me.'

And that's the end of that.

So. Guess you won't be coming over this week either. Or will you? Are you angry enough to confront me? It's not stalking when it's for your own protection -- just ask my brother, John. God knows he could use the conversation.

I’ve got to find more discreet operatives.

> Next time don't be so obvious.

When did she send this? Ten minutes ago. No, if you were going to come over, you would have arrived by now.

I suppose you’ve already said everything you have to say. But not even a text for stalking, John? I thought we had a connection.

Or we did. Before Moriarty won.

Not your fault. All mine. I underestimated him, failed to foresee the lengths to which he'd go for his insane plan. Didn't realize how many pieces he'd put on the board. Stupid.

A ping:

i thought youd like it? before you whinged you cant hardly see him

It was only supposed to be months, John. Then dozens of pulled threads later and you'd already gone and shacked up with a woman! That's what I get for being thorough.

And not even thorough enough. But if I wasn't thorough enough then neither was MI6, John. If Moriarty still had operatives in London, that's on Mycroft. And me. But definitely on Mycroft.

I don't know. Hate not knowing.

Are we really never going to talk about this? I took down an international crime syndicate for you, and you broke up with me on your blog?

No, no -- sorry. I take full responsibility.

This is ridiculous. I don't know why anyone comes to me to solve their problems. I can't even make it up the stairs.

Ah.

That's it, isn't it? I don’t live up there anymore, either.

Yes. Everyone says you can find Sherlock Holmes just up those stairs, back from the dead and cleverer than ever! Like most things everyone says, it’s not true. I search for him in these rooms daily, and all the evidence points to this: Sherlock Holmes was a character created by John Watson. An exciting story. A fairy tale. (Dare I say a fantasy?)

People will believe anything you tell them, John, and they did. You were so sure I was a hero that even I came to believe it in the end. Now they only keep believing it because I lied. I was never steps ahead, never as infallible as you made me out to be -- and now that you've quit writing me I'll never be anyone at all.

But I'm doing it again. Getting histrionic. I'm not the first nobody to have his heart broken. They all get on with life.

Well: usually. Technically speaking, the most invested ones turn to murder or suicide. On the upside, murder is still in the cards: Assuming I can pull it together long enough to hunt down the appropriate parties, they are murderers and it would be doing the world a favor to murder them right back. In the course of any such investigation there will tend to arise situations in which I would have no choice but to murder them -- or, fortune willing, sacrifice myself so that you may live. Or both! Now that would be a power play: cleanse the board of evil, preserve the king. The ideal way to die may yet fall into my lap.

It's nice to have things to look forward to.

But say it doesn't pan out. Given my recent track record it would be foolish to place undue faith in my forecasting abilities, and after all, I don't know for certain this has anything to do with Moriarty's network. He pulled so many rugs out from under me I'm always half expecting yet another rug. I may grow as paranoid as you, John, with him skulking about in my head. For all I know everyone involved was in Moran's network, and I'm chasing after people who are already in custody. Maybe there's no grand end, no power plays, no relief.

That leaves suicide.

I'm not saying I will, John. I refuse to break your heart again. And it would be no way to honor the lengths to which you've gone to preserve my life. They're mere thoughts. They come and go -- always have, and I always haven't. I'm not going to do it, and if I am, I can always do it later.

But no appealing alternative has revealed itself. Only the obvious path for the invested: live like everyone else, and finally sever myself from aspiring to anything meaningful or exciting. Growing up, they call it.

Freud called it repression, so let's hold off on drastic measures. I made this life work before and I can make it work again.

Of course, that was easy for Freud to say: Being invested in life isn't an exercise in masochism when you have a lifelong companion. Not to be maudlin, John, but I wasn't making it work until you came along. Not truly. You were the gear that made it all click. I couldn't become Sherlock Holmes until you facilitated it.

It felt like the strength you granted me persisted during our years apart, but it's no surprise I drifted off course the moment you weren't at my side. That's not superstitious, John, that’s just a cold fact. You would have caught the little things I didn't. You would have kept my ego in check.

But what's done is done. I'll muster some strength for you. Reinvent myself again. Reorder my mind, keep myself off the needle and the pavement until I tie up these loose ends. Then... who knows.

Maybe someone else will come along.

Well. Feels good to laugh.

I’ve got to get on with it. Life may be a flight of uncarpeted stairs, but I'm sick of being down here.

'Going out, dear? John didn't call, did he?'

Will I always be this damned slow?

I sigh loudly, not that it will make any difference. 'No, and no.' You scowl like you do when I talk about him. 'Just getting in.'

You frown. 'But we were just talking.'

My heart leaps. 'You and John?'

'No, silly.' My heart falls. You tilt your head; smile. 'You and me.'

'You were talking. I was out.'

You shake your head and laugh, a cheery, infuriating tinkle. 'You had quite a lot to--'

'Mrs Hudson.' For god's sake, do not go senile on me. Not one more straw.

'Is it drugs, dear?' Terrible, hushed pity. Everyone always leaps straight to drugs! 'Oh don't get angry, I know all the signs! The nerve of him, putting you in this state. I'd say a few things to him, if only he'd come around once in a--'

Anything has got to be better than this.

'Project much?' The stairs are fine two at a time.

'I need those for my hip!’

'Adjust your dose! You're clearly...’ What?

What in the world?

'That would explain so much,' he says, and the room tilts.

Through the door. There I am. There he is.

Sherlock Holmes.

End notes:

In The Lying Detective, Sherlock tells Faith that chips are “the only perk” of being suicidal. In The Empty Hearse, he was eating chips when Mary told him John had been kidnapped.

John’s most recent blog entry before this story takes place is The Empty Hearse. It’s a mindfuck minefield for poor Sherlock, but we’ll get into that more soon. For now, know it contains this doozy: “Oh, and in other news, I’ve got engaged. But, it’s not something I’m really going to talk about much here. I want to keep some things private. I will say, though, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Sorry, Sherlock :)”

I borrowed the name Pilar from Sherlock Holmes and the Baker Street Irregulars: The Fall of the Amazing Zalindas, a novel by Tracy Mack and Michael Citrin. I’ve never read it, mind, it just seems like it wouldn’t be the sort of thing Sherlock would assign to Wiggins, and Wiggins would never be so sloppy.

Sherlock is obsessed with Freud. One Freud reference in The Abominable Bride, which was constructed entirely from Sherlock’s drugged out brain, came from Mycroft, who asked John if he was aware of theories of paranoia. Freud believed paranoid people were closeted homosexuals, heavily insinuating that Sherlock believes John is a closeted homosexual. Freud meta to come later; he’s very important.

Freud was with his wife for 57 years.

“Life is a flight of uncarpeted stairs” is from the poem “Spring” by the early 20th century queer poet Edna St. Vincent Millay. She ended up dying of a heart attack that made her fall down the stairs, which is itself poetic. Though she was a woman, I think it’s realistic Sherlock would know about her: the Casebook notes that Sherlock reads the agony aunt columns in women’s magazines because they contain all of life and are pertinent to his line of work, and in the same spirit I’ve made him familiar with all old famous love letters, for which she’s renowned. We also know Sherlock is familiar with Shakespeare and moved enough to remember entire soliloquies, so there’s no way Sherlock could read “Spring” and not retain some of it — especially as John and Mary had been aiming for a spring wedding, and the poem references April, which is just wrapping up as the fic begins.

[soul-heart-and-beyond]

Negaduck Headcanons! (Pt.1)

This is probably the most ambitious that I will get with exploring a character like this. Not only because I really like Negaduck (More than I talk about him. I generally do this with a lot of characters because you guys got your thing, and I don’t want to damage that character for you because of my portrayal or showing you all with my love for them. Yeah, I hold my feelings back, but I have good reason for that.), but because with all of the weird fluidity his story and character has backing it up. 

This isn’t going to be like the definitive version of him, I’m not sure if there will ever be one, but this is just how I see him and want to explore some of the less thought about concepts with him. There’s been stuff about him doing things because of NegaGosalyn or NegaMorgana, but this one’s going to be different. Consider this just a rework to make him more... realistic? (Sounds like a terrible idea since he doesn’t seem to work well with that, but just give me a moment.) At this point, I just want to share or project some things that could work once given good thought and consistency to his background.

I might have to split this into parts like the others since this one’s gonna be preeety long.

The best place to start off is with the concept of the Negaverse in general, which is supposedly everything nearly turned upside down compared to the common universe (I guess Primeverse but it’s hard to say honestly?) we see, the Disney Afternoon universe. Given that, heroes are villains, villains are heroes, ordinary people are grunts or the street trash would actually be good people, or dead, that too. It’s a place where evil or bad prevails over good, and while the good does stay strong, so does the evil that maintains the universe. Maybe it’s a boring concept, but to me at least (Though that doesn’t instantly make it good because I like it.), it allows for more interesting debates on morality, what doing the right thing is, and how should consequences work. It’s a glimpse into a world dominated by bad and the good thing there is to be bad, do bad, instead of being good and to do good like it is over in the regular DA (Disney Afternoon) universe. I wanted to touch upon this with Nega Fenton and eventually other counterparts of the muses I have, but since this whole guy is that concept personified, might as well do it with the one that started the whole mess.

Granted, Negaduck’s first appearance in the show is Just Us Justice Ducks, it kind of just skimmed over who he was an just got to the point of him being a villain, something that can really confuse others as most villains usually have an origin story to them or are already pre-established in the world before the hero does. It does give some mystery as to who he was, but since his origin of becoming Negaduck, of even finding the cake that had a dimensional rift inside of it and allowing for him to traverse from dimension to dimension. However, since there never was an episode to explore that and the comics were close to getting to his origin, it seems like he does have some potential to explore several avenues depending on circumstances. 

It could be like a situation where he lost NegaGosalyn (And while that seems more likely for Darkwarrior Duck to happen and we see she’s alive in Life, The Negaverse, and Everything, you can chalk it up to this being the mallard that was in the Negaverse, not the common verse, he could turn this way, so that’s an option.), or where he loses NegaMorgana like it was going to be seen before the comic got cut (Similar circumstance to NegaGosalyn, but it also wouldn’t feel right given that he doesn’t seem to have an attachment to common universe’s Morgana, while Darkwing felt empathy to NegaGosalyn. Sure, you can say that when Negaduck was trying to get Gosalyn to be his little partner during the latest comic run of Darkwing Duck, the Jailbreak one [Orange is the New Purple?], but that could have been some remnant of Paddywhack, you know, that interdimensional demon that did show interest in her in the show?) 

Anyway, it just doesn’t seem likely for him to lash out at everyone when NegaMorgana dies or disappears, and the same for Gosalyn since in the show he knows she’s alive, and just doesn’t seem to bother with her much anymore. She’s like a gem that’s lost it’s luster, a used up toy, something that he barely comes back to anymore. And if it’s because he lost her due to a custody battle, it wouldn’t make sense since the Friendly Four explain it upfront that he is Gosalyn’s carefaker, her parental figure, her father. Not only that, but he had to have been doing this this for a while since Darkwing Duck was Darkwing for some time before he met Gosalyn. Of course, he was a minor vigilante, but after meeting Gosalyn, Launchpad, Taurus Bulba and his henchmen, he did get more recognition from there on. Given the idea of somewhat polar opposite universes, it would mean that Negaduck was Negaduck before meeting NegaLaunchpad and NegaGosalyn and ultimately his first encounter with NegaTaurus Bulba.

Another point to address is Negaduck’s real name. You can think of his name as just Negaduck or Jim Starling, Jim Sterling, but for me and this rp blog, the OG Negaduck is Drake Mallard. For everyone else in the Negaverse to go by the same name and respond to that name like their common universe counterpart, and for Negaduck to be the exception? Doesn’t really make sense, and given how he is an evil Darkwing Duck, it only makes sense for him to be Drake Mallard. There have been other series and franchises to do this sort of thing where the character would actually be different like Owlman to Batman from DC Comics. Owlman from Earth 3 isn’t Bruce Wayne, and some characters like Superwoman of Earth 3 is actually Lois Lane. It works there but that’s because it fits that franchise. To fit Disney’s, Negaduck would most likely be Drake Mallard. 

Given that, it is safe to say that his life obviously is not like Darkwing Duck Drake’s as his whole universe is built around the concept of being bad is actually good. So his experiences with his childhood of him being bullied, clowned on, getting wrecked in high school for the first half of it were out of him just being overall bad at being bad. He did some nice things here and there, got punished or bullied for it, and still somewhat had want to do it again. Though over time, and especially around his junior year of high school, the general consensus or the norm of being bad finally clicked. He’d done it before several times, yes. It was what he was being taught at school, besides other useful things that would be needed later on in life. Pretty much, he snapped after being ridiculed for his soft personality, and out of defiance, was willing to kill everyone there. He didn’t get to take out everyone, but he did for the first time fully embrace how good it was to be terrible, to kill, the satisfaction of getting what he wanted or most of it. That day, he was forever changed, and ready to create some mass carnage and despair for his own personal enjoyment.

Knowing that his little prototype outfit for the event where he was ridiculed from wasn’t exactly going to make him look menacing, he sketched up some drafts as to what he would really want for himself to be seen as. Some had overly large fedoras, others had torn clothing, and some had on so much black, belts, and zippers that it just seemed too silly. Eventually, he would come out with his well known attire, and also acquired some orange-scarlet contact lenses to complete his change from Drake Mallard, the one cerulean-eyed wimp that couldn’t do much and was seen as a nobody by society. Instead, he was going to be remembered, he was going to feared, and he was going to be the one thing people worry about most. After all, being remembered was the only thing of value in life, and those that were remembered were the nasty, vile, ruthless, terrible, and just plain malevolent people. They were great because they brought forth a force of fear and anxiety with them, and he was going to be the next one.

After that, Negaduck would out in the streets of St. Canard, terrorizing the people, stealing money and valuables away from banks, stores, and factories, all of the while trying not to get on the radar of some of the superheroes that would clearly want to stop a low level villain like him. After all, he had no powers, was considered barely above a common grunt, but that was to give them a false sense of security. Whenever he wasn’t constantly planning his heists, having “fun” with the civilians, or just doing evil, despicable stuff just for the fun of it, the thrill it gave him, he was furthering him study of different martial arts, techniques, and overall strategies. Sure, the opponents he managed to rack in against their own free will weren’t nothing much but living body bags for him to test out his moves on and not much else, but whatever he could memorize, the real test would come when he was out in the field. With that, he gained some more firepower and artillery so he could slowly increase his status to the well known criminal overworld. 

It wasn’t too long that his face became somewhat well know around St. Canard, and by this point, he was bathing in that recognition, that glory, of being noticed as a menace to society. Of course, he’d have to scram whenever some of the hero chumps like Megawatt (Mega Megavolt) and Harlequin ( Nega Quackerjack), but he was doing better, getting better at being such a blight on the planet. Though his feats before meeting a certain girl and guy on a fated day were small, they were elevated to new heights afterwards. On another casual routine of giving the police a hard time, he saw some goons trying to take some sweet looking young duckling. She just looked so perfect in the sense of the ways on how he could ruin her day, make her cry, the works, and with that in mind, he went and fetched her from those men, but not before dusting off his knuckles on them. Yet he could feel something unusual about this girl as she seemed to appreciate him “saving” her from the strangers. Whatever they planned to do with her wasn’t going ot be nearly as bad as what he had, but she seemed to be somewhat thrilled at how cool and badass he was taking those guys out. It was... kind of charming to see someone actually compliment him out of genuine interest instead of fear.

While driving the young girl back to his home on his customized motorcycle, he wondered if he should indulge himself by keeping this little one around, to show them the ropes, and eventually see them become about as bad as he was? No one was going to be worse than him, but he was fine with them being second place onward. He was only worthy of number one. But as he continued to think about it, it started to seem like he was getting soft. Some of those small traces of Drake Mallard were trying to crawl their way out of what he was, and he couldn’t let that happen. He was no longer that person and definitely didn’t want to be associated with that name. It was by now the girl had asked him his name, and he responded with only, “Negaduck.”. After all, she didn’t need to know much else about him, and certainly nothing of his past life. Once arriving at his home, he let her off of his vehicle and they entered the house and took a break from all of the action that waited outside. Negaduck then decided to ask this girl for her name in return, and learning that it was Gosalyn, he kept that in mind so he could call her by that name. 

For a while they talked about different subjects, like what the other was going to do, and for Negaduck his case was simple, just continue destroying and tearing stuff up, while Gosalyn, she seemed to not really have a set goal in life or after their meeting. This came as a good opportunity for him to propose making her his protege so she could actually get on by in the world, though she’d probably have to ditch the cutesy looking garments she had on. He was astounded to see how quickly she accepted, though it seemed to have been influenced by her not having any parents or adult figures to take care of her. It did tick him off with the potential idea that she might be just putting up with what she could get at the moment, but given how her innocence seemed, it could be that she was just relieved to have someone to take care of her. He’d file in some adoption papers in the morning, but he’d have to know what orphanage she was from. With some more talk to continue on that note, he got the answer he was looking for, and a little more, some information about someone trying to take her, but for what reason? She thought the guys that he knocked out earlier had something to do with this person, and it seemed like a time slot just opened up on his schedule to go ruin this person’s day, or perhaps their life. 

Now that he had some time to relax and get a better understanding of what happened to Gosalyn, Negaduck took her along with him since she would know who he was talking about. Zooming through the streets and past the other vehicles that were in the way, the villain was still assessing himself. Why was he doing all of this besides pleasure? It’s not like the guy Gosalyn knew was going to get him any more famous, but he was wrong, as there were some of the same guys he let live and more on motorcycles with guns, ready to fire and probably willing to kill too. Now this was some action he’d been waiting for, the cops wouldn’t give him this type of attention. Drifting a bit and holding his fedora with one hand to make sure it wouldn’t blow off of his head, Drake grinned out of excitement as he continued to drive, but now he could get some better information out of these goons. Pulling off some close quarters saves and near fatal stunts, the two were able to make it out of the chase with one or two fellas still in pursuit. That was good. It meant his competition would be rough.

(End of Part 1!)

[boogiewrites]

Bad Bride

Word Count: 7700+

Summary:  A power hungry woman finds herself suddenly having feelings beyond the professional for another gangster while engaged to another man. She decides to form a plan to secure her and her husbands rival, Alfie Solomons', place in the underground of London. She doesn't tell Alfie of her plan to get them everything they could want until her wedding day to his rival. How will he react when she confesses it's been for them the entire time? A fun, smutty little one shot.

Warnings/Tags: Language. Explicit Sexual Content: Dominant Alfie. Dom/Sub undertones. Dirty Talk. Getting off on being bad. Some angst, some fluff. 

Click on my screen name, then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio on my blog page for my other works. (Had to do this since Tumblr killed links, sorry.)

It was your wedding day. By all usual circumstances, this should’ve meant it was the happiest day of your life and it wasn’t that you were unhappy. It was just the source of your happiness for the occasion was rather, well, unusual.

You were the picture of a blushing bride, but that was all a facade. You just happened to be very good at pretending to be things you weren’t. Your dress was perfect, your quaint Christian ceremony and lavish reception thanks to your wealthy husband was all a more simple and sane woman could’ve wanted. But you didn’t believe yourself to be either of those things.

You could blame your upbringing, your absent father, your troubled mother who was now wasting away in a sanitarium. But you knew what evil you did. You felt compulsory in your deviant behavior at times, yes, but you were always in control of it.

Growing up with a mentally ill mother and a father that only showed up in the middle of the night, pissed and high on gambling earnings with a birthday present that was 6 months too late had caused you to have to form a lot of layers to protect yourself from the world. With no money, you had to work early in your life. You soon found that money by any legal means was not enough. So you turned to crime. It was simple at first, petty theft and learning to manipulate men. But this set the tone for how you would end up where you were today. A gangsters wife.

Mind you, this wasn’t the first gangster to have proposed to you. You had made your way through them and too easily so. Once one had you, with a simple glance another wanted to steal you away. So you’d made your way up the ladder and here you were. But not for long. Not if your intention to kill your husband went to plan.

You had been rather selfish for most of your adult life, as growing up and fending for yourself can sometimes make you. You were always looking out for number one. Which was always you. With your air of confidence, your wild card behavior, and now your business mindedness as your ownership of a warehouse with a yard by the canal had made you of high interest to smuggling gangsters getting their alcohol to America during the prohibition. You were willing to work with them and with you being a woman, the police simply didn’t suspect you.

This was how you’d met the man that was on your mind on your wedding day, Alfie Solomons. And he was not your husband. He had offered to be at one point and even though it was nowhere near the first time you’d been proposed to it was your favorite out of them all. You had found yourself in a bit of trouble with a rival gang of the Jews. As you went to Alfie for a chat about your problem, as he was the smartest and most clever man you knew, still was, he rather clumsily offered to marry you to protect you. You were surprised. You hadn’t taken Solomons to be the sentimental sort but as your devious self found his eyes soft, his posture unguarded you pried into him with questions. He admitted to having a rather unusual stirring of feelings for you. He admitted he wasn’t happy about it, as these things, these emotions of the heart as he’d put it, they complicate things. And looking back at that moment, you saw things from your time spent together that made sense in a different light than they had. He had favored you over other criminals but in your ego, which was large, you had assumed he knew which side to play for and the best one was yours.

You tell him you’ll think about it. And having never been married up to that point, you needed time to consider all your options for how to deal with your problems. As marriage wasn’t a temporary thing that was easy to get out of. That was unless your husband died.

In a bold meeting with the gangster than you now called your husband, the biggest rival and enemy to Solomons it turned out, you had thrown your cards out on the table, metaphorically, and also yourself at him. With your physical ability, mental capability and emotional control you found the man wrapped around your finger very quickly. He proposed and you did hesitate.

You went to Alfie, told him of the proposition, as you hadn’t yet given him an answer. And that answer was no. You tell him you’re going to marry the other man. He’s furious, even though he tries to hide it. He expresses a softness towards you, something he does not do and you respond to his offer to help you by marrying the man that was an enemy to you both? You saw him pace his office, that handsome and heavy brow low over the eyes that could cut right through you. His plush mouth tight, that silver tongue rubbing over his teeth in thought. He stares at you and neither of you backs down. It wasn’t in either of your natures. As he gives in first with a heavy sigh, he gestures his hand towards the door for you to leave, and you set in motion a plan.

No man had ever interested you much. Not in any meaningful capacity anyway. Some were excellent fucks, some were funny, but none made you feel anything. That night in his office as he fearlessly faced you, never breaking as you hurt him emotionally, you felt something stir inside you. You were used to men reacting when you did these sorts of things. They’d scream or they’d throw things, grab you or try to kill you. He did nothing except stare into you, then let you go. In your experience men weren’t always capable of letting things go. When they felt hurt for whatever reason they lashed out and lost control. You’d never turned down a proposal and come out unscathed. But Alfie stayed cool. He let you go. He didn’t threaten you or his enemy. And ever since that night you had been planning on thanking him by killing his rival and your now husband. You’d have his money, his real estate and without his leadership, for what it was worth, his men would fall apart. This was your plan to take him down. And so far it was going swimmingly.

You sent a bipartisan messenger boy to Alfie, with the request for him to be at a small work shed on the grounds of where you were having your wedding. The boy that came back had no response, saying that the man had looked at it most curiously and sent him away. You didn’t know if he’d be there but you were setting into motion the plans to find out.

After a round of spinning and dancing, you see the sun setting through the windows of the grand hall your reception was being held in. You find your husband and with your usual feminine touch, you sigh and tell him the festivities are just a little too much and if he didn’t mind, might you have a lie down for a moment and eat something so you could recuperate from your excitement. He, of course, agrees, as he did with most things you said.

Skipping away to the dressing room you’d gotten ready in, you lock the door behind you. You open the window and gather your dress, sneaking out into the bushes. Under the cover of a darkening sky, you move through the decorative flora of the gardens and towards the work shed.

You look from around a large manicured bush, seeing Alfie in his usual daunting hat, dark suit, and cane. He has another man with him, and you couldn’t blame him, he had no clue what he was walking into. You sigh and smile, knowing he was smart but was willing to let his curiosity get the better of him. And you could appreciate that sort of combination. A cautiously open mind.

You emerge from behind the plant, your dress gathered in your hands to keep it from the dirt. The hand of the man behind him goes to his gun. Alfie does not flinch.

“What are you doin' 'ere? I’m busy. Shouldn’t you be off show boatin' about with your new husband? Right twat he is.” He declares angrily, a brow quirked and looking away from your wide eyes as you approach him.

“I’m the one who invited you, silly.” you reply with a soft laugh.

“You?”

“Yes.” You state obviously. “Why else’s would I be here at the advertised time? Wouldn’t I be at my reception with my twat husband?” You give him the same attitude filled face back.

His eyes narrow and he looks You up and down. “Trouble in paradise already eh? Can’t say I’m surprised” he snarks.

“On the contrary, today has gone to plan so far.” You give a casual shrug.

“So my bein' here is part of your plan?”

“A very big part.” you speak slowly and purposely.

He was highly intrigued, trying to not be distracted by how lovely you looked in the dress. “And what’s that then?" he demands.

“Could we speak inside?” You ask, walking towards the small isolated brick sheds faded green painted wooden door. “I’d rather not be seen with you out here.”

“With ya husbands enemy on your wedding day...I’d certainly say not.” He nods to the other man who hides and waits outside. He shuts the door behind him, the space small and all but one wall covered in hanging and propped up gardening equipment.

“Ya bring me here to kill me? A wedding present for your husband?” He rolls his eyes.

“No. The opposite really.” You say with a mischievous smile.

“Ya gonna help me live then?” He snorts out a laugh.

“Actually yes.” you grin.

“I know ya love your codes and like to think yourself to be mysterious but I don’t have the patience today and shouldn’t you be getting back to your, I'm certain, very expensive party?” he shakes his head with judgment clear on his face.

“No hurry for me. I told him the excitement from the festivities was getting to me and I needed a little lie-down.” A more wicked smile appears.

“And he believed that?” He lets out a short laugh.

“He believes anything I say.”

“Then he doesn’t know you at all does he?”

“No he does not.” You state plainly and Alfie's interest is rising, you can tell. “Not the real me. Not like you do Alfie.”

“Me? I’ve not spoken or done business with you in months. What do I know?” the anger breaks through in his voice.

“Doesn’t matter if we haven't seen each other, does it? I would bet that I’ve been on your mind as much as you’ve been on mine.” the coo in your voice frustrates him and reacts accordingly.

“What’s to say none?” he tilts his head and presses his lips together defiantly.

“Oh, Alfie. You don’t have to lie. It’s just us here." he hears you tease.

“Why would I lie?” he barks back.

“Because I hurt your feelings. And no one hurts Alfie Solomons feelings, do they?” you give him a little pout.

“No they do not. Not even you.” his chin wags as he sells his point.

“Again with the lying Alfie.” you scold. “I brought you here tonight to end the lies between us.” you roll your eyes and sigh.

“I ain’t lyin'. You made your choice 'n there was fuck all I could do about it, yeah? So I showed you the fuckin door dinnit I?” his posture is stiff and you can tell he's set to defend himself still.

“But not before you stared at me for a few minutes.” You smirk.

“I was trying to read you. See if there was somethin' there behind your eyes. I was wrong.” his eyes are cold to you now.

“You’re wrong about that. You did see something.” your voice is soft to offset his anger.

“What?” He asks more angrily.

“Me.” You say simply, stepping closer. “You saw me.”

“You were standin' right fuckin there." he gestures to the floor with his hand.

“Let your guard down for a fucking second Alfie, Jesus Christ. You’re so god damned stubborn sometimes.” you say with your lips in a tense line. “If I felt it I know you had to feel it. You looked into me that night. You didn’t look AT me. You looked into me, studied me like no one had before.” your voice gives away your honesty and he's confused by it.

He lets out a sigh and looks away. “Feel what?”

“That connection. That spark between us.” you lean closer to invade his space, make him face you.

He lets out a condescending laugh. “You think you’re gonna try 'n seduce me on the day of your marriage to another man? My enemy? Are you daft? If you’d wanted a fuck love you just had to ask, or accept my proposal. But ya didn’t. So you and ya husband can fuck off. You’re on their side now. Why the fuck did you call me here?”

“To tell you you’re wrong.” you state assuredly.

“Not many have the balls to do that mind you.” he points a finger in your face.

“Have you ever known me to be short on them?” You put your hands on your hips.

“No.”

“Then will you stop your defensive whingin' and let me answer you?” your voice rises.

He doesn’t say a word, he clasps his hands in front of him.

“That night. When you looked at me I felt something.” You nod earnestly. “And men don’t make me feel things Alfie. But you aren’t like most men are you?”

“I’d bloody hope not.” he answers with an exasperated tone.

“You’re not. You’re smart and clever and despite your reputation, when you go off the cuff I believe you to know exactly what you’re doing. You control your emotions. And no men I’ve ever met have controlled themselves the way you do. You are a rare one Alfie.”

“But you married that dimwitted cunt instead? You’re making all the sense in the world mate.” he rolls his eyes and sighs again.

“I married him for you.” You say more seriously.

“And how the fuck does that work?” he almost laughs.

“Because I married him so I could kill him. Something you couldn't get away with.” you bite back.

This grabs his attention. “And what the fuck does this have to do with me?”

“I knew that night when I told you no, that I would be killing him. As an apology to you. I can take his money, his real estate, and his businesses down. I can delete him from history and you can have it all.”

He looks You over inquisitively. “What are you on about?”

“I don’t want him. I want you. But I can’t let a man threaten me and get away with it. So I plan on killing him and taking everything.” he see's the passion in your eyes.

“Sounds like that benefits you more than me." he nods his head at you.

“Not if I marry you.” You state with pouted lips.

He narrows his eyes and tries to decide if he trusts you or not. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I see a great deal of potential in you. I like how you do business and I like you.” you answer earnestly.

“Oh, now you like me eh? You should work on ya fuckin' timin' there.” he wags his finger at you again.

“I do. I have ever since that night. But more importantly, we both hate my husband.”

“I do hate the fucker.”

“And I’ve had to be with him while thinking of you. So, believe me, I hate him more than you for what I’ve dealt with these past months." you spit out.

“I might believe that.” he side eyes you.

“I can have financial safety for myself if I kill him. I can offer the demolishing of your biggest competition. You can take over the businesses that will be in my name. I believe we could be a true force to be reckoned with.” you look away almost bashfully at your confession.

“But why love?” his voice softens slightly.

“I’ve stated my reasons and you're only looking for excuses to not believe me now.” You say defiantly and he grins. “I like you. As a person and a businessman. I want to help you. And I saw that I hurt you when I said no. And I know you put yourself out there by asking me to marry you and confessing you had feelings for me and I’m trying to repay the favor by doing something you can’t.” your voice is quiet but sincere.

“I could kill him if I wanted to." he scrunches his face in defense of himself.

“Yes, but not get away with it. Not and also get his money and businesses. Not make his dim-witted men fall apart in their functioning. You’d get thrown in jail, I won’t.” you lean in closely to speak softly to him to use your charms against him.

“What makes you so sure you'll get away with it?” he gives you a stern nod of his chin.

“Slow poison and good acting.” You say confidently.

“That’s your plan?” he responds flatly.

“Yes. I’ll have exclusive access to him, his doctors, his records. And I can play the heartbroken wife and you get to sit back and watch him wither to nothing and know the truth.”

“Why not end him with violent means? Quick. Dirty.” his brow lowers over his darkening eyes.

“Because it’s obvious. Don’t go thinking like a man now.” you flash him a charming smile. “We must be patient and our patience will be rewarded.”

“I’m not known for me patience.” he shakes his head.

“Especially when it comes to something you want?” you smirk.

“Especially that." he nods.

“And do you want me Alfie? Your biggest enemy’s wife? The woman who is offering to help you conquer London?” you ask, your eyes narrowed and voice delicate as you lean in towards his face.

“I do.” he answers simply.

“And I want you.” You whisper. “And although I capable of patience, when it comes to things I want, I do prefer immediate satisfaction over delayed.” a playful smile grows across your face.

“And what does that mean for me?” he stares down at you, watching you glance down to his lips.

“Would you like to fuck him over before I even begin to poison him?” you offer, a tilt of your head and a wicked smile.

“How?” his voice rumbles.

“By fucking me.” you state clearly. His eyes go dark, heavy under his low brow as you touch his chest to yours. “You could know you had me before he did on our wedding day. Know that tonight he’ll be second to you physically and mentally all the nights thereafter. I’ll feel the pleasurable sting of you instead of him, think about you while he thinks he’s consummating our marriage. But I’ve already consummated the real relationship haven’t I?” you rasp up at him, feeling a tingle down your spine as you see his eyes dilate.

“You wicked thing.” he scolds.

“You have no idea.” You grin. “And to take me in my wedding dress nonetheless. The one he bought me? I have to admit my astounding naughtiness is making me wet already Alfie.” you give a wrinkle of your nose as a small laugh escapes you.

“And how do I know that’s not a lie?” he quirks a brow at you.

You slowly pull up the front of your skirt. “You’re welcome to feel for yourself.” you purr.

His eyes cut down to your bare thighs, peaking out under the dress. White stockings squeezing your thighs just so.

“Or I could show you? If you still don’t trust me?” You say innocently.

“Show me.” he gruffs out.

“You reach between your legs where you feel the cool air hitting the slick that followed your devious plans discussion. You’d been thinking about fucking Alfie for most of the day and all this other talk had built the tension within you. You take the wetness to your fingertips and show him with shifting fingers the clinging viscous liquid. You reach them out and touch them to his soft and full lips you’d wanted to feel on you. “You can taste what my impure thoughts of you today have brought forth in me.” You whisper. “I am as sweet as revenge, Mr. Solomons. I promise you that.” You speak certainly and he feels his own need bubbinlig up to the surface.

He opens his mouth and your fingertips enter his mouth and your lashes flutter, his eyes stay on your face. He sees your chest rise and fall noticeably, your face flushing, and the way your eyes went dark as he licks away at them.

“And this is my doin'?” He questions, holding your wrist with authority and a thrill rushes through you.

“Truly. This cunt is as good as yours.” You whisper and he exhales forcefully, a hand moving to the back of your neck with a firm grip.

“And what of this mind?” He rasps into your ear and he feels you tremble. He knew then it wasn't a lie.

“It thinks of you most often. It devised this plan to make you ours.” your voice breaks in your nervousness for his forcefullness.

“And of your heart?” he drags his nose up your neck to your jaw.

“No man has ever owned it before. But I believe you are the only one to ever make me question that fact.” You admit.

That was truly an honest answer. And he felt it as your skin broke out in goosebumps at his touch. If you’d been playing him you would’ve said everything was his, that he owned it all. But you hadn’t. So he allows himself to believe it.

“And right now, I can make this cunt mine?” his voice demanding and quiet.

“Yes. And the rest will be yours solely soon after.” you almost squeak out.

“And you’re going to kill him? For me?” his intensity washes over you.

“For us.” The answer makes him groan.

“And you want me to take you in your wedding dress in a dirty shed as you lie about your whereabouts on your wedding day?” his voice is almost a growl.

“I do.” You moan.

“Is that what you said to him today?” He smirks.

“And to you is the only time I meant it.” you shake your head.

“You are fuckin' filthy.” He scolds I’m a deep tone. “And I adore it.” He snarls, showing his dominance and holding you tightly by the face.

“Would you give me my favorite wedding gift then Alfie? Give me you for just a short while?”

“I will love.” He whispers, lips close to yours. “I’ll fuck you so well you’ll be left thinkin' 'bout me all those nights you’ll be left disappointed in him. You’ll crave it, sweetheart, you’ll want to risk being found out by sneakin' away in the middle of the night for it.” he coos.

“Those are big promises Alfie. You have the tools to back up that dominating sentiment?” You ask, reaching down to his trousers and finding him growing hard.

He lets his cane hit the ground and with one hand roughly undoing his trousers, holding your face so you could not see him, but putting your hand around him. “Why is it you think I’m not like other men love? It’s not just me brain.” He rasps, eyes looking over your face as you breathily exhale, finding him thick and long. You hadn’t been with many men that would be described as large, as most men that sought out power were compensating for something deep down. But when you say that he was the biggest you’d ever felt, it certainly didn’t mean nothing.

“You have no reason to try to make up for any lacking in this department do you?” You say with a huff of a laugh, that showed you were impressed. “When other men were worried about compensating you were busy using that big... brain of yours to beat them. You don’t have the typical shortcomings of a man in your position.” You elaborate and a slow smile moves across his face.

“Brilliant little bird. So observant aren’t you?” He coos, loving that you knew people on a level that he did, understood their deep dark motivations. “You still want me to fuck you love? Surely your husband is only going to be less than for you now.”

“I do still want it. But do you know how to use it?” You smirk.

“Do I know-?” He lets out a deep laugh that appreciates the taunt. “How 'bout I just show you love?”

“Please.” You whisper and shut your eyes for a moment, hands tugging him.

“Oh, she asks me nicely now eh? Dirty girl.” He growls, hands moving fast to your waist and pushing you against an uncluttered spot on a wall where you would be hidden from sight. He looms over you, lips grazing your cheeks, nose, and lips teasingly. “And how am I going to get at your delicious little body without making a mess of this dress?” He asks.

“Let me.” You say breathily, reaching and undoing the buttons at the neck of the gown. The large keyhole back stays clasped below your waist, but you bare yourself to him by sliding your arms out of the top and pulling it down.

“Much more obedient than I expected” He taunts.

“It takes a certain sort of strong man to make a powerful woman want to bend, doesn't it?” You admit, now bare to him as he licks his lips and looks over your breasts. “I’m not like this with anyone else. I don’t like men being dominating. But most are so boring about it.” you quickly explain.

He puts his hand around your throat loosely and you hear his heavy breathing in your ear. “This racing pulse of yours I feel under my palm would say otherwise.” His slides his hand over your chest, rough palms grazing over your nipples and making them stand at attention, causing you to release a small whimper. “These pert tits say you like it. Shall we see what your cunt has to say about it?” He asks as his fingertips trail up your thigh and shove between your legs, wet and soft and eager. “This little cunny fuckin loves it, dunnit she?” The words travel over your skin and break it out into goosebumps. He pushes into your folds and finds your clit, a task you sometimes wondered if men were capable of at all. Your knees buckle for a moment as he grazes and strokes. You let out a little moan and he teases your lips with his again. “That little mouth tells me you love it as well. I thought the lies were over between us?”

“They are” you whine as his circles your clit. “I like it when you do it.” You moan. “You’ve proven to me you deserve it.”

“Mmmm.” He hums, lips grazing your neck. He begins to kiss your skin, fingers still working away at you. His lips move slowly across your breasts before taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking away at you with a grunt of pleasure as his face pushes into the weight of it. He does this on the other side and releases you with an obscene pop. His nose moves up your sternum as your chest moves faster, his fingers threatening to end you before you even had him.

“Alfie you’re going to finish me before we even get started.” You whine.

“Oh, but we’ve started love.” he groans into your neck. “Has any man taken his time like this with you before?”

“No.” You admit.

“Then you are in for a treat love. You’ll be killin' that prick husband of yours even sooner now won’t ya? You said I wasn’t like other men, why wouldn’t that carry on into the way I fuck?” his confidence is intoxicating.

“I see your point.” you flash him a smile through a bitten lip.

“But do you feel it love?” He asks, fingers entering you and pressing the hard heat of him against your bare thigh. You let out a wanton moan at the sudden feeling and he puts his hand over your mouth. “You do feel it.” He coos, fingers fucking into you, exploring you and stretching you in ways you hadn’t felt before. “You can’t be so noisy, love. Someone findin' us would ruin your plan wouldn’t it?” You nod and whimper, he releases your mouth and you gasp for air as you breathe loudly through your nose to hold in your sounds of pleasure.

“Fuck Alfie.” You whine and mewl, eyes rolling back in your head. “I want to finish around your cock, and I’m close.”

“You will.” He says knowingly.

“But I’m...oh god I’m close.” your eyes begin to flutter.

“Don’t tell me no man has ever made you come more than once in one go?” his lips almost pout at you.

You shake your head, struggling to keep quiet. “No.” You moan, your hands now firmly gripping on his arms.

“Pet...” He coos, his hand now hitting into you harder with some sort of earth-shattering grip on you. “I’m going to ruin you for any other man.” he says so condescendingly in your ear as you begin to shake.

“Alfie” You whine, turning your face towards his.

“Yes, love?”

“Kiss me.” You plead, rubbing your hand to the back of his neck. “Keep me quiet with your lips.” You whine and he ruts against your thigh. Such a soft and needy little thing you were.

He answers you swiftly, feeling your muscles start to flutter and tense around his fingers. The kiss is harsh and biting. You knock his hat off as your fingers reach into that thick dark gingery hair you’d fantasised about running your fingers through. His lips just as thick and soft as you’d imagined. You share moans from each other mouths, feeling his arm against your back, pulling himself closer to you. it’s rushed and passionate and the most arousing kiss you’d ever had. The combination of his oppressive kiss and his pounding fingers makes you fall over the edge quickly. He feels the grip of your fingers in his hair tighten, the hitch in your breathing, the way your lips stopped and trembled against his as you began to gasp and squeak before he allowed himself to indulge in one sultry and wanton moan, rising from your flushed chest before sucking your bottom lip into his mouth and holding your face to keep it still and your lips together.

He finds himself losing himself in you. The way you were so open, you weren’t hiding your pleasure from him in some reservation or power move, you gave yourself to him freely and wholly and it was the first interaction he could think of since before the war that felt honest. As your cries quiet, now only noisy heaves of your chest, he withdraws his fingers, the mess he’d made of you being moved now to his cock which was at full attention with your performance and writhing against him.

“Oh my god.” You sigh out, eyes fluttering open again, hands on his face. “Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?” You ask earnestly and he grins.

“Us Jewish men are meant to please our women.” He croons into your ear as he kisses your neck.

“I’ve been with the wrong sort of men.” The post orgasm bliss making you let out a soft laugh.

“Clearly.” He growls and it brings you back into the moment. You feel his hands move against you. “We aren’t finished here love” he groans, hands finding the backs of your thighs and pushing you against the wall, your legs put around his hips and as you feel the heat of him against you the moans start again. “Such a wanting little thing aren’t you?” He grins into your chest, sliding himself against your soaked slit, tapping against your clit and pressing against your entrance.

“For you. After that how I could I not be?” you sigh into him.

“Then tell me. Tell me you want it.” he commands.

“You do love your words.” You let out a short lived giggle. “I want that fat cock of yours Alfie. I want you to fuck me hard and leave me a mess like I know you can. I want you to feel his little cunny wrapped right around you and know it’s yours.”

He groans at the words, forehead pressing into your chest for a moment to compose himself as he notches into you. “And what a tight little cunny it is pet, fuck me.” He grunts.

“Fuck.” You squeak. “Go slow love, go slow.” You breathily beg and in his animalistic frame of mind it makes him want to do the opposite.

“I won’t make it hurt, pet, it’ll only ever feel good with me.” He promises in moan laced words as she slides himself inside you, hands on your arse as he rises and you’re lowered to meet into one.

With raspy swears from you both, you meet at both the hip and mouth as he buries himself fully in you. Your lashes flutter and you let out deep moans into his mouth. “So deep, Alfie.” You whisper against his lips, arms wrapped around his neck. He holds you up, the wall helping him as one arm wraps around your lower back and the other laces under your knee to keep you open and up.

With a slow withdraw, that isn’t quite pain, he takes a deep breath to prepare himself. He didn’t expect you to be so tight, but who was he to assume you’d been with a man recently? He starts to wonder what other things he’s only assumed and has yet to learn about you. But right now he was more interested in learning your body, submitting it to memory as he wa sure this coupling would haunt him in his dreams until the next time it came. He follows as you ask, a slow pump of his hips in and out of you, feeling your lashes flutter against his cheeks as you panted your subdued moans against his face.

You splay one hand across his cheek, the bristle of his beard against your palm, your thumb pulls his bottom lip down for you to stretch your neck and take it into your mouth. He was so much softer than you’d imagined. A light chap to the center of his lip is gone as you suck away at it, little moans of enjoyment given up as you take him in from both ends.

“Faster, Alfie.” you whisper against him and he obeys your command. With a grunt, he moves his hands grip on you tighter, strong forearms holding you up. With your knees higher and pushed back, he begins a harder pace, watching your eyes threaten to roll back into your head.

"Like that, love?" his gruff voice asks. Even though it was a question, it felt more like a command in his deep tone, the steady smack of skin to skin hitting, the sound filling the shed.

The moan that escapes you from the question is small and light, which was the opposite of what you were feeling. "Yes." you rasp out, tongue flicking out against his lips, set in an almost snarl as he felt your body tremble and shake. Your eyes eventually bat and close over the whites as your pupils dilate and they disappear into the back of your head. "Does this feel so good because it is wrong?" you ask, a small smirk before he grinds into you, making you gasp as you took him in to the hilt. "Or is it simply you Solomons?" you grin and feel

"Certainly not your fuckin' husband is it?" he groans through gritted teeth before, nipping at your lower lip as it hung loosely as he pumped into you, building a second release.

"No it's fuckin' not." you let out a deep chuckle, a girlish gasp as the mention of your decisions of the day bring a possessive sort of anger in him. "Shit." you squeak, eyes flutter back open as he hits into you harder. You meet his eyes, blue and cold and half hidden under his intimidating heavy brow. "It's all you isn't it?" you moan out, meeting him with a harsh kiss that he returns with teeth and force.

"That it is." he growls as you part for a few rbeaths as you start your worldless lamenting of how good he felt. "Is it all for me, love? This cunt? Killin' that fuckin' daft prick of a man?"

"Yes." you moan out, the acceptance and embrace for how bad what you were doing was, was adding to your pleasure in a new way. You'd never been with a man to talk to you in such a way. "For you, Alfie. Since the day I told you no. For you. For us." This was more than the boring dominance that you had experiened before. This was beyond calling you a slag before bending you over and slapping your arse. He was in your head, and that was a place no man had ever been before. You were finding it to be just a pleasure as him being inside your cunt.

"That makes you mine then, yeah? Makes everyfing you do from now 'til that wanker dies for me. Ya dinnit marry him today did ya? Ya fuckin' married me. You schemein' little minx." he moans out, letting himself give in to his feelings for you, for the warm tingling that ran from his head to his balls at the thought that you'd been thinking of him as he had you for these months.

"Oh, fuck, Alfie." you sigh out, your eyes looking tired as let the warm waves of pleasure start lapping away at you from his words. "Oh fuck me, you're gonna make me come with a mouth like that."

"Dirty girl." he growls, pounding into you now, trying to let out all the heavy hurt he'd felt knowing you were with another man. But you were his now. "She knows how fuckin' naughty she's been. Gets off on knowin' what a lyin' little bird she is." he bites into your skin with his teeth and words as your head tilts back and the moans grow louder.

"Yes. Oh god, Alfie, yes I do." you grin and gasp.

"And now you're fuckin' your husbands enemy on your fuckin' weddin' day you filthy thing." he moans, pressing his forehead against your shoulder. Finding himself liking the deception of your actions as much as you were. "And you're gonna think 'bout me every night innit ya love? Ya gonna lay in that tacky fuckin' bedroom of 'is, 'n think about what a real man would be doin' to ya if he were there. Wonderin' if ya could kill him faster just to get back to me 'n these hands...this cock that knows what a brilliant fuckin' woman you are, yeah?" he lets it all go, giving you the mental stimulation you never knew you needed.

You let out a low and rumbling laugh of pure enjoyment that makes his balls tense. "I will." you gasp, lowering your face back down and leaning in towards his, making him look at you. "I'll be thinking about you fucking me every day. About this big cock. Imagining what filthy words this clever brain would be whispering to me. Ugh, Alfie, you've gone and ruined me haven't you?"

"I deliver on my fuckin' word for you, love." he grunts.

"Fuck, Alfie I'm gonna come." you moan, moving into another round of harsh kisses. "Give me soemthin' to think about on those lonely nights, Solomons. Give me something to keep me warm for you until his body goes cold." you moan into his mouth and his eyes roll back into his head.

"I'll fuckin' fill you up with warm, love." he growls, teeth knocking as you both gave in and started to shake.

"Fuckin' do it." you growl and the sound makes his nails dig into your skin. "I'm gonna come around this thick cock and I'm gonna milk you for all you've got, Alfie. Fill me up. Leave me with the reminder that I'm yours dripping down my thighs after you leave." you whine out, fingers tight in his hair as you snarl and your brow lowers, your body starting to seie and convulse.

"Fuck." he growls, hitting as hard as he can, a more helpless sound escaping him, feeling you tighten around him. "Take it. Fuckin' 'ell take all 'a me." his words rise and fall with his moans, as the feeling of you around him proves too much. A deep guttural sound rises up as your noses bump together, both unable to kiss as your lips trembled and his snarled as you came.

Coming down together was something new for you, there was something strikingly intimate about watching the hunger fade out of each other's eyes, sharing breaths as you both heave and recover. You both mutter swears, small droplets of sweat on your temples, that you wipe away from his handsome face. He was much more rugged than your husband was, you thought. An unshaven face with power behind his eyes, a strong brow and nose over what you could feel was a well-rounded chin hiding beneath the gingery beard. Your husbands was smooth and plain, a perfectly acceptable face but not much unique about it. Brown hair and brown eyes, thin lips and a chin that was lacking, even if it was minor. He led his men, but he didn't hold a candle to the charisma that Alfie exuded without even trying.

He speaks first. "Let's put ya down, now." he says with clear eyes and a nod. You let out a girlish grunt as one foot hits the ground, his hands warm and firm against your soft thighs, making sure you were stable before they regretfully departed from your skin. He puts himself away into his trousers as you pull up your dress.

"Would you?" you ask softly, the tone and doe eyes so different from just moments before as you turn and hold the high neck of the dress together, asking him to help you.

"'Course." he says in his usual gruff tone, thick square tipped fingers managing with the small pearl buttons.

You turn and dust yourself off, seeing no real damage done to the dress. "Am I decent?" you ask with a tug back of the corner of your mouth.

"Entirely not." he teases, an easier going and charming smile across his face as his fingers tuck loose hairs back into place, a brief dusting of the back of your dress, before a cheeky slap to your bum that makes you giggle. "It's a shame you look so lovely." he says quietly. "Such a waste of beauty on an absolute git." he tsks. "'Spose it's good you got to wear white. Won't get to do that again, eh?" he grins and bends to pick up his cane with a grunt.

"Suppose I'll be getting used to wearing black soon enough." you say with a flirty tone and he recognizes the mischief in your soft face.

"Unless he was already dead, it would not be soon enough." he says and leans in to drive his point home.

To his surprise your hands reach out and take him by his loose collar, pulling him in for a kiss. "I will begin my work tonight." you whisper, nuzzling your nose against his, an affectionate gesture he did not anticipate. "And I'll find a way to be in touch. With him ill we can most likely arrange something to see each other again."

He hears the hopeful tone in your voice and it convinces him you mean what you're saying once agian. "And if not... I look forward to seeing you at the funeral." he grins boyishly and tenderly touches your jaw. "I'll be the one that won't be payin' no mind to the body. Only you." he whispers with a soft press of his lips again. It carries on, a soft back and forth, something gentle to off set the hard of earlier. "You better get goin' now. Else you'll be missed." he says with a sigh, a light tap to your nose before he leans away.

"You're right." you nod and take a deep breath. "I must admit I thought leaving you and going back to my life in there would be easier." you willingly express your fondness for him with a soft smile.

"And I thought watching you leave would be too, love." he purrs back, making your stomach flutter.

"Until next time?" you say with a more playful smirk.

"Until then." he nods, stepping away from you.

"I'll be thinking of you, Alfie." you say softly, silhouetted in the doorway to the shed.

"I know." he grins, a low chuckle rumbling out across the space between you. "And I you, love. Now go, pet." he says with a shooing motion of his hand.

With one final up and down of him with your eyes, your hitch up your dress and move back to the dressing room. You climb in the window, shut it, and rest on the bed for a moment before freshening up.

"Miss?" you hear after a knock at the door after you'd been staring out the window for a moment. "Your husband wanted me to come check on you. Are you unwell?"

"I believe too much champagne was the culprit." you say with a feminine lilt you were used to performing.

"Do you require anything?"

"No." you say with a sigh. "I'll be out to get him shortly." you say with a smirk.

@fangirlfreakingout @jaegeeeeer @cosettewinchester@lookuptheskyisfalling-blog @brianaisasongbird @cry5t4l-w4rri0r@iliveonchocolateandnetflix @jess2464 @hardygal69@thegarrisonpublichouse @a-flock-of-angry-pigeons @pootle@negansdirtygirl22 @musingsby-night @wtf-is-wrong-with-this @shine-dont-shadow @inkinterrupted @vale0413 @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @sxlomons @aphnxrising @emerald-bijou @elaenom@give-jack-a-lightsaber @anrm1 @ultrablackwidower@tinastarkandco @arrowswithwifi   @marvelgirl7 @they-are-not-just-stories  

[frightknights-n-monstergirls]

Unfair

Prompt: Crane calls out another name during sex. I thought it would be a thing.

Warnings: Smut in the first few paragraphs, blood, death of a minor character. I tried to make the sex of the reader as vague as possible. Originally posted on my personal blog several years ago.

A/N: I blame many people for this one. Especially the voice clip of Dino Andrade floating around my dash. I think this is one of the darker turns I have made.

Word Count: 2070 (I’m sorry)

This night has been nothing short of a miracle. Usually it takes a lot for Jonathan Crane to give in to your wiles and rock the bed with you. Before a couple of horror movies, a fake therapy session, and some jump scares (maybe some thigh high socks and red lipstick) your psycho boyfriend would be more or less willing to let you on top of him. With the normal time it takes for him to get it up, you were pleasantly surprised when he came to you. It doesn’t take long for you to be bent over the bed moaning out your lover’s name.

A breathy moan escapes your lips as Jonathan continuously ruts into you. Every thrust is short and hard, his hands clamp down on your shoulders like his was afraid of losing any physical contact with you. You try desperately to grab on to something feeling yourself getting closer to that edge you have been craving to jump off of. Jonathan growls his fingers tightening as your passage squeezes around his cock. You place your hand on his as that final string began to whine up. Until it all came down with one word from Jonathan’s mouth.

“Ah, Becky…” You heard him moan out causing you to snap your head up. Your name isn’t Becky.

“What did you say?” You question stilling his movements. You twist your body to face Jonathan, his face had sweat running down its length.

He gulps audibly fear clear in his blue eyes as you can tell that he is trying to make up something. “I-I said Becky.” You had to give him credit for coming out with it. But it didn’t stop the flame for your fury.

“Who the hell is Becky?” You try your hardest not to snap at him, but there was still a bite in your tone. In your anger there is surprise, you never seen Jonathan be attracted to another person. Hell, he didn’t seem too phased by Poison Ivy, Catwoman, or Harley Quinn in their skimpiest costumes. But this surprise could also be the reason why you were so furious. You seemed to be the only one to cause any sort of arousal for Jonathan, the shear thought of you being his first at almost everything really propped you up on the emotional and relationship tier.  

Jonathan seems to get the idea that play time was over as he pulls out of you. The long drag of his dick sliding out of you erupts in a shiver down your spine to your loins. You sit up turning to face your lover as he grabs his boxers from the floor. After every time you two fucked, Jonathan had to put back on his underpants like he couldn’t stand being naked for a long period of time. He quickly peers at you to estimate how mad you really are. The skinny man tugs his shorts up covering his flaccid cock.

“So? Who’s Becky?” You ask again crossing your arms over your exposed chest. The fact that you are fuming does not escape Jonathan’s acknowledgement. He lets out a sigh rubbing his temples as if mapping out how he was going to explain himself. You grow impatient so you end up jiggling your foot after you crossed it with the other.

“She… she’s just a victim who happened to escape from me.” Jonathan explains taking the pause to snatch is glasses from the night stand. “Plucky Becky was labeled a hero for testifying against me in court. I wanted to break that image.” He slips his glasses on to gaze better at you, “I gassed her with the best toxin I could come up with. Throughout the session, I discovered that she suffered a childhood of bullies like myself.” There is a warm gleam in his blue eyes, one that he never gave you. A smile creeps on his face, a dark mischievous grin, “She had all the workings to become like me. I would have a cohort in spreading terror onto Gotham. I wanted her to be my mistress of fear.”

You don’t know what to think. You are a bit glad that Jonathan came out with it, but one question still left unanswered. “Are you… ‘Seeing’ her?”

Jonathan studies your face, he sees the tiniest attempts to stay calm. A frown darkens his features, “No. I haven’t seen her, she may not be in Gotham anymore.” You nod finally breaking eye contact with him. He’s telling the truth that much is evident. Jonathan continues with a question, “Does this bother you?”

“Yes, it bothers me!” You snap standing up quickly earning a shocked expression from the super criminal, “You have been imagining a different girl whenever we have sex. We rarely do it but still!” Tears prickle your eyes as you glare at Jonathan, his face void of any emotion. “I love you, Jonathan. But you don’t seem to love me back… Do you even love me? How long have I just been a thing you drag for an experiment?”

“You’re afraid that I have been stringing you along.” He states in an analytical tone. He’s studying your state of mind like he always does, or it comes across that way. This is not like when he was trying to figure you out, it’s just blank. Jonathan’s eyes have dulled like he wasn’t in the now with you. A twitch flickers under his left eye slightly putting you on alert.

“Jonathan?”

His eyes bloom back into color, his stare finds you again. Your concerned look registers to him as a small little smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. Jonathan’s hands cup your face thumbs stroking your cheekbones. You close your eyes at the sensation, you’re not sure if this is a sign of affection or just him trying to break down the conversation.

“I’m sorry.” Jonathan says barely above a whisper. He pulls you into his chest, long arms wrap around your neck, hands in your hair. “I didn’t think it appeared that way. I’ll make it right.” His voice light and content with whatever plan he had. You feel a bit uneasy at this sudden change in demeanor. Nevertheless, you embrace him back not knowing where exactly to go from here.

    A few weeks had passed before you saw Jonathan again. After your heart to heart with him, he simply disappeared the next morning. You wondered if he finally left you, or this was another one of his research spells he always goes away for months on end. Surprisingly enough, you get phone calls when you are at work from your lover. He always left a message for you when you got home. Some were just letting you know that he was alive and well. Others came across as manic.

“Hello, dear. I know you are busy away at you’re wage slavery, but I wanted to let you know that I will be home soon. I love you.”

“Hello, dear. I���m nearly done with what I went away to do. I think you will love what I’m bringing to you! I love you.”

“Hello, dear. I’ve come to realize how much I actually missed you during my time away. Especially your cooking. I’m wrapping up here, I will see you in a day or two. Be ready for me. I love you.”

It starts and ends the same way every time. You don’t know what has possessed Jonathan to be so affectionate. He would call either once or twice a day, a few times you caught the phone in time to actually talk to him. Jonathan would speak gently, almost soothing in a creepy way. He would also use pet names with terms of endearment. Whatever it was, you are glad it happened and you couldn’t wait for him to come home. At least, that’s what you thought.

You walk home from work knowing expecting Jonathan to show up either today or tomorrow from where he has been. You just knew that he is probably starving from his nasty habit of not eating and you had to make him a whole chicken to satisfy him. You giggle at the thought of Jonathan devouring your cooking. You get to your apartment, your usual route of opening the door while sorting through your mail. A huge box with a big enough bow stops you dead in your tracks. How did that get in your home? But that isn’t the only thing that you ask yourself. The corner of said box is stained a red, near going black from how much there was.

Fear grips your heart knowing exactly what that red is. You are about to leave when hands grab your waist. You manage not to scream only allowing a loud gasp to escape your lips. It is Jonathan with an excited look plastered on his face. You let out a shaky breath in mock relief, you still have that dread in you.

“I got you a nice little gift to make up for how I was treating you.” Jonathan exclaims walking around you to the box in your living room. “I went through quite a bit to get it for you.” You watch him as he places his hands on top of the box. The deranged man pats the gift, “Why don’t you open it?” You shake your head knowing full well that you will not like what’s inside. A pained look crossed Jonathan’s face, “Don’t you want to see what I got you?”

You stare in horror as he unties the bow to open the box. The pull at the ribbon is excruciatingly slow. A pleasant smile graces Jonathan’s face as he unwraps your gift. You want to run to the phone to call the police, to get as far away from that thing as soon as possible, but your feet stay rooted to the spot. Once Jonathan gets it open, his hands disappear inside the gift. What he pulls out makes you sick to your stomach.

A head of a woman. Your teeth clench tighter to prevent you from screaming at the sight. The woman had freckles scattered across her cheeks and long stringy red hair. You couldn’t break the stare you had on this lady’s eyes. A dull green that are forever locked in a state of fear. From the way the light hit the head you can tell there are dried tear streaks running the length of its face. Her last moments had to have been painful.

“Say hello to Becky.” Jonathan introduces taking in your fear. You tear your gaze away from the head to Jonathan. A crazed sparkle glittered in his bright blue eyes, loving how you are frozen into place at your gift.

“W-why?” You croak out keeping eye contact with him as he came closer to you. He no longer holds the head like a ball, but by the hair allowing it to dangle from his fingers.

“Because of you.” Jonathan answered frankly eyebrows retreating to his hairline. “I realized that I had been lusting after another while in love with you. You did not do the same. You only loved me and no one else.” He lefts Becky’s head to present it to you, “I wanted to make it even. So I killed her for you.”

You are speechless at Jonathan’s confession; he felt that he had been unfair for liking two people at once? The shock you experienced numbs you to where you didn’t even feel Jonathan pull you into a possessive embrace. You rest your head on his shoulder with so many things on your mind. If he felt that way, then what would be your future when he catches you looking at another person? Would he kill them or make you do the deed? Would Jonathan want to lock you away from the world so you wouldn’t love anyone else? You shiver at the thoughts going through you. Jonathan takes notice of this.

“Don’t worry, dear.” He coos rubbing circles into your back, “I won’t hurt you, unless you want me to.” He pulls away enough to get a better look at your face. He grins wider at the terror in your eyes, “When I hold you in my arms, I know love.” He purrs wiping away a tear that barely escapes you eye with a bloody thumb, “And I know fear.”  

[card-and-flame]

Neverending Survey - Ravard

RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!

tagged by: @lavender-hemlock, @alannah-corvaine tagging: @feathers-and-fantasies, @nijah-wolff-ffxiv, @elu-delouche, @eaotheelf, @celestial-benediction, @ash-like-snow-xiv, @miqojak, @moonlit-endeavors, @trc-xiv, @whisperingdawn

BASICS.

FULL  NAME :  Ravard Kasun

NICKNAME : Rav, Enigma, Ravvy (use at your own risk)

AGE :  30

BIRTHDAY : 26th Sun of the 3rd Umbral Moon

ETHNIC  GROUP : Hyur (Midlander)

NATIONALITY : Ul’dahn

LANGUAGE / S : Common, Mhachi, Amdapori (read only)

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION : Pansexual

ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : Heteromantic.

RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :  In a relationship.

HOME  TOWN / AREA :  Ul’dah

CURRENT  HOME :  Dravania

PROFESSION : Gambler, Black Market Trader, Relic Hunter

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : Raven black, medium length and messy

EYES : Pale green, always watchful

FACE : Roguishly handsome, constantly smirking confidently.

LIPS : Average

COMPLEXION : Tanned

BLEMISHES : None

SCARS : Left cheek from his jawline towards his nose, several crossing his torso.

TATTOOS :  Full arm sleeves of various Mhachi sigils, covered by glamours.

HEIGHT :  5′10

WEIGHT : Average.

BUILD : Athletic.

FEATURES :  Scruffy beard, piercing eyes, .

ALLERGIES :  None.

USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :  Barely styled, usually left to fall as it will. Generally framing his face.

USUAL  FACE  LOOK :  Confident or amused.

USUAL  CLOTHING :  Situational. When in city-states generally dresses up in suits or at least higher quality clothing. When out traveling, generally dresses comfortably in loose clothing he doesn’t mind getting dirty.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : Powerlessness, Loss of control, Loss in general

ASPIRATION / S :  To attain true understanding of magics both mundane and forbidden. To acquire enough wealth that he won’t have to ever live as he did as a child again.

POSITIVE  TRAITS : Intelligent, charismatic, outgoing, quick-witted

NEGATIVE  TRAITS : Arrogant, greedy, distrustful, vengeful

MBTI : ENTP

ZODIAC / (Guardian) : Cancer /  Thaliak, the Scholar

TEMPERAMENT :  Choleric

SOUL  TYPE / S : The Scholar

ANIMALS :  Crows

VICE HABIT / S :   Smoking, drinking, gambling, stealing

FAITH :  Disciple of Nald’thal

GHOSTS ? : Yes.

AFTERLIFE ? : Not fully.

REINCARNATION ? :  No.

ALIENS ? :  No.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : They’re all corrupt in some way, shape or form.

EDUCATION  LEVEL :  Self-educated until age eight. Taught by the Ossuary until age 16. Self-educated in the time since. Considers himself constantly learning.

FATHER : Lukas Kasun, lives in Ul’dah with his wife.

MOTHER :  Carina Kasun, lives in Ul’dah with her husband.

SIBLINGS : Elias Kasun, younger brother, Sultansworn, lives in Ul’dah.

EXTENDED  FAMILY : Aunts and Uncles he’s never met, likely cousins too.

NAME MEANING / S : Kasun -  To order, To command

HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : No.

FAVORITES.

BOOK :  Ancient primers on forbidden schools of magic. Books on history or philosophy.

DEITY : Nald’thal.

HOLIDAY :  All Saint’s Wake

MONTH : October.

SEASON :  Autumn.

PLACE : Dravanian Forelands.

WEATHER : Rain.

SOUND / S: Crackling fire, gravel.

SCENT / S :  Lavender, whiskey, rain.

TASTE / S :  Whiskey, homemade stews, cakes.

FEEL / S :  Silk, cool breezes, fire

ANIMAL / S :  Crows, apkallu, wolves.

NUMBER : 8, 15

COLORS : Black, white, red

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Gambling, sleight of hand, quick-witted.

BAD  AT :  Conjury, accepting defeat, trusting people.

TURN  ONS : Intelligence, quick wit, warm smiles, soft words, mutual respect, confidence.

TURN  OFFS : Fools, second-guessing, willful ignorance, disrespect, whining.

HOBBIES : Reading, gambling, magic, adventuring, sleeping.

TROPES : Sorcerer, Career Criminal, The Gambler

QUOTES : “I didn’t come this far to only come this far.”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1 : It would likely be an action/adventure with a lot of dark, sarcastic comedy. It would definitely be an origin story, starting somewhere around the end of his time in the Ossuary with intermittent flashbacks to his youth, up to close to current day. As for what it would be called? Probably something silly, like The Fire of Knowledge. Or Nald’thal’s Flame. Definitely something fire related.

Q2 :  What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2 : There wouldn’t be any one genre that would be featured, instead having a pleasant blend of just about everything from emotional instrumentals, up to heavy metal that you can feel rattling your bones.

Q3 :  Why did you start writing this character?          

A3 :   So, Rav’s not my first character in FFXIV. I ended up switching to him for personal reasons (nothing bad, promise!), and wrote him to be something new for me to work with. More laid back, more morally ambiguous (than an already morally ambiguous character, but that’s besides the point). As I’ve written him more and more I’ve come to enjoy him quite a lot. He’s more charismatic and manipulative than characters I’ve played before and I’m honestly having a blast.

Q4 :   What first attracted you to this character?          

A4 : Ravard was a new direction for me to explore in RP. I’ve been RPing for literally over half my life, but my characters were always the same general type. Ravard was something new and exciting to try.

Q5 :  Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : I don’t really enjoy how much of an isolationist he really is. He’s outgoing enough that he can start and carry on a conversation. He’s capable of making friends, but to date he generally prefers to be alone with the exception of one or two people in his life that he goes out of his way to spend time with. Part of that could be the fact he generally thinks most people are idiots and a waste of time unless he can make money off them, but that’s a whole different can of worms to open.

Q6 :  What do you have in common with your muse?          

A6 : We both have had a hard time feeling like there’s any one place that could be considered ‘home’. There’s places that are good stop-offs but nothing that’s truly felt ‘right’. We both find solace in people, rather than places. We also both enjoy solitude and time to ourselves with our thoughts.

Q7 :   How does  your muse feel about  you?          

A7 :  He honestly probably would see me as a potential mark to steal from at first. Once he got to know me, we’d probably get along decently well. We have a similar innate sense of humor and world view. He’s just.. a lot more vocal, and more willing to break the law.

Q8 :  What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?        

A8 : Anyone who can carry on a decent conversation in regards to magic, history or philosophy. Despite being primarily self taught, he is actually extremely well read and enjoys intelligence in the people he associates with. He’d also be interested in meeting business partners or simply people who need something done that may not be entirely above board.

Q9 :  What gives  you inspiration  to write  your muse ?        

A9 :  A lot of it comes from the music I listen to. I also genuinely enjoy telling the story of the morally questionable mage who found a way to turn luck and fate to his side. Even if he personally states he doesn’t believe in luck or fate. If I have someone interesting to RP with, too? Inspiration galore.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?          

A10 : Six days. Though I had everything but the mun questions done on day three.

[howtohero]

(Note: This is Part 3 of a three part story. Part One. Part Two.)

You need my help? You invade my home. You invade my blog. You send a bomb to my office and then you send me through some sort of grief spiral all so you could turn into a ghost to better commit crimes and now you want my help? <I remember a few of those events differently, and I appreciate that my death moved you, but yes that’s the gist of it. I need your help.> You’ve got a lot of nerve Kaminksy. <Listen, I’ll grant you that the bomb we got in the mail was one of mine. I recognized it as soon as you, like an idiot, opened the package. But I didn’t mail that bomb to the office. This is not my scheme. I never intended on becoming a ghost to better commit crimes. I was quite fine committing crimes as an alive person!> Wait, you didn’t send the bomb? <No, of course not!> Then who did? <I don’t know!> And that’s what you need my help with? You want me to help you find whoever attacked us? <No, I can handle that on my own. I don’t think you’d approve of the hyper villainous revenge I have in mind for once I find them.> So what do you need my help with? And to be clear, I am not actually offering my help. <That’s very sweet of you. Hold on I think I’ve got a tear in my eye.> Ghosts don’t cry Brainwave. They wail. <Oh they wail, good to know. Good to know. Can I ask what else they do?> What else they-? Ah, that’s why you came to me. You don’t actually know how to be a ghost do you? <Listen, I just figured since you do all these guides, and I know you’ve mentioned ghosts once or twice that you could maybe help me find my bearings.> All right Brainwave you drive a hard bargain, I’ll help you figure out your new lease on death, but you have to find the person who tried to kill us, and bring him to justice. <Deal! Teach me about ghosts, I’ll find the person who killed me, kill them, and then bring their ghost to justice!> You’ll bring them in alive thank you very much! <Uch, fine. Whatever.>

#250 Being a Ghost

So, you’ve died, that’s a bit of a bummer, and what’s more? You didn’t even get to enjoy the eternal rest you were promised. You’ve certainly had better days. Remember the time you caught that really big fish? You were browsing in the supermarket, ranking all the groceries based on annoyed your enemies would be if you hurled them at them, and all of a sudden you notice a ginormous fish attempting to shoplift some boxes of crackers, but you caught them and the supermarket gave you some free eggs and your enemies were very annoyed when you hurled them at them. That was a great day. This day is worse. Because you are dead. But you’re not really as dead as you thought you’d be. You’re still around, just different. Your physical body has expired, but your soul, your spirit lives on, and thus, you’ve been given a new lease on life. A ghostly one. (Oh, hey, we’re doing one of these today? I thought we agreed to take a few weeks off after you know...) Nah! Who needs a break! It’s important to get right back in the saddle! (All right, but I expect you to make up those vacation days. I was gonna go horseback wrestling.)

Being a ghost isn’t all that different from being alive. You can still think, you can still experience emotions, you can still smell and see and hear things. You can still be disappointed by your friends and loved ones for not supporting your career as a ghostly standup comic. (When entering into any creative career it is important to have your own unique shtick, to set you apart. And being a ghost is as good of a shtick as any in standup comedy!) However, just like when you first became alive, it will take time to learn how to do these seemingly basic things as a ghost.

As we get into a lot of this stuff I just want to nip a few common misconceptions about ghosts in the bud:

Lie: Ghosts can’t touch things. Truth: Ghosts can touch things, but not in the same was that living things do. Ghosts are indeed incorporeal so they cannot feel things against their bodies. But that doesn’t mean they can’t move or manipulate things that are external to them. They do this by harnessing the “dead energy” around them. “Dead energy” is everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. It’s basically a catchall term for any forces or presences that cannot be used, studied, or even noticed by living beings. From conversations that I’ve had with ghosts I’ve gleaned that using dead energy to move things is kind of like a cross between telekinesis and touching things while wearing gloves. Being able to manipulate death energy is how ghosts can rattle chains, flick lights on and off, bisect cows and hurl the pieces at bigots, hold the microphone during karaoke, all the fun stuff they used to be able to do while alive. 

Lie: Ghosts look like bedsheets. Truth: Ghosts can look like bedsheets. But that’s their choice. Ghosts are spirits who have finally broken free from the mortal flesh prisons. They are no longer hindered by an unchanging form. (I mean, sure you can change your appearance when you’re alive but to do that you have to like put on makeup or go to the gym or eat one million pizzas and that all requires grit and determination.) A fun perk about being a ghost that many people don’t know about is that they’re basically limitless shapeshifters. If you don’t like the way you looked while you were alive, there is no need to continue to look like that now that you’re dead! 

Lie: The only job a ghost can get in today’s economy is some form of haunting. Truth: Even just twenty years ago, ghosts were rather limited in what they could or could not do. They could haunt houses, they could haunt castles, they could haunt comedy clubs (yearning for the day that they could finally be accepted as the world’s first, only, and by default, greatest ghost comedian). They could haunt pretty much anything, but that’s all they could do. I think the fact that there were basically no limits on what a ghost could haunt made people think that ghosts had plenty of career opportunities but that was just not the case. Nowadays, thanks in large part to the Headless Horsemen and other ghost activists groups, ghosts play a role in many many more industries than their old haunting haunts. Ghosts can be lawyers. Ghosts can be doctors. Heck! Ghosts can even be writers! Ghosts have become secret agents, search and rescue leaders, even the occasional superhero! (And sure, there are few supervillains out there too, so if there are any ghostly supervillains out there who are reading this for some reason. Get over yourself. You’re not that special.)  

Lie: Only people with a certain “sixth sense” can see ghosts. Truth: This one’s actually a pretty funny story. Ghosts can turn invisible and intangible at will. It’s a function of their limitless shapeshifting. So, once upon a time, a bunch of ghosts got together and decided they really enjoyed the privacy that being invisible afforded them. When you’re visible people judge you like “Uch, that ghost is so spooky, does it have to resemble the corpse of a little girl?” and sure, that ghost didn’t need to look like that. It was an aesthetic choice. But is that so wrong? Do ghosts really deserve to be judged for their appearances? These ghosts decided that being able to see them was something only a select few trusted individuals would be able to do. Since then ghosts have occasionally decided to allow people to believe that they have the incredible power to see ghosts and the rest is history!

With all that in mind you’re ready to begin this new phase of your existence. (Get it? phase? Because ghosts can phase through things!) Good point! As a ghost you now have a number of incredible abilities that you didn’t have when you were alive. We’ve spoken about shapeshifting and turning invisible but you can also become intangible! Which is where that misconception about ghost’s not being able to touch things comes from. (I once read that the only things ghosts could touch were bedsheets and rusty chains, and that they wore bedsheets so that their fellow ghosts could see them, and they rattled chains to get people’s attention because they couldn’t tap them on the shoulder. The things people will believe!) Intangibility is great for getting into places you could never get into when you were alive. Like your father’s secret study where he keeps all of his mint condition figurines or the “cowboy’s only” lounge at the airport. 

Most ghosts also have the ability to produce some sort of ectoplasmic slime. This stuff is relatively harmless to human beings but it is very gross and smells and tastes very bad! It’s also great for creating a spooky ambiance. You can use it to scare criminals, keep people out of places you don’t want them in, ruin a perfectly good breakfast. Once you get a bit more used to being a ghost you’ll learn how to shoot this ooze as a projectile and then you can finally enter into the annual slimeball fights that are probably a thing in the ghost community!

In certain situations you’ll also be able to possess living things. This is generally frowned upon, superheroes generally try to not to override people’s freewill. That’s a very supervillainy thing to do. I guess if you were a supervillain you could do this and it might help you infiltrate places or even to glean information from people. I don’t know just some possibilities. Obviously I’m not condoning any of this. I assume only superheroes are reading this blog. Possessing can only occur if you are a very strong-willed ghost and they are a very weak-willed living being. I suppose then its not even so bad is it? Like if their will is so weak that they can’t prevent you from taking over their body isn’t it kind of like they wanted or at least allowed this to happen? Anyway, it’s really only a supervillain thing. Don’t do this unless you’re a supervillain. (Uh, and don’t do this if you are a supervillain. No possessions please!) 

Ghosts can also fly! They have no need to stay on the ground because, as we’ve said, they are untethered souls. So enjoy swooping and soaring through the skies. In this instance, you’re actually better off than living beings who can fly. They have to worry about crashing into things, or getting bugs stuck in their teeth, or getting attacked by birds who feel threatened by them. Ghosts don’t have any of those problems! They can turn intangible and invisible! Just fly through whatever the heck you want! 

But for real though, being a ghost isn’t all fun and games though (you know, all those classic games where you shoot horrible horrible ooze from your mouth at your enemies and then fly off into the night rattling chains the whole way). Your soul yearns for eternal rest, yet it cannot achieve it until it fulfills its final purpose on this Earth. Not everybody becomes a ghost, generally it is only those who have unfinished business at the time of their death. Sometimes humans are kept around as ghosts because they are to complete some mission for some higher power. Something like avenging their own death or sitting through this being’s friend’s seven hour off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-Broadway show (it’s in Maine). So, if you find that you are indeed chained to this plane of existence, you might want to think about why this could be. If there are any ghosts out there who would like to talk about what they might want to be doing with the extra time they’ve been given, well you know where to find me. (Wait! No! Don’t invite any more ghosts here! Diego A. Wayghosts said he’d quit if he had to perform an exorcism on the washing machine again!)

Being a ghost doesn’t have to mean your life is over, it just means your life is different. Many people find a renewed sense of purpose in becoming a ghost. Being a ghost allows you to pursue your passions without having to worry about eating, drinking, breathing, and not contracting a horrible illness! (Most of the ghost illnesses are relatively bearable and tend to pass within a few days.) Being a ghost gives you some extra time to take care of the things you kept pushing off when you were alive. So if you’re a ghost, good luck out there. We believe in you.

You there? <I’m here yeah.> Did you get what you needed? <I think so, and sorry in advance about your bedroom.> What did you do to my bedroom! <Well that slime thing sounded super interesting and I figured you wouldn’t be in your bedroom since you were writing this post so...> You got slime everywhere! What the hell man! <Hey, don’t say that word. If what you said is true, then as soon as I find the guy who killed me I could pass on and end up in Hell.> Fredrick, it doesn’t have to go that way. <You said I’d only be a ghost until I wrap any of my unfinished business.> And who says that has to end with you going to Hell for all eternity! Maybe you’re still here in order to make amends. <What are you getting at?> All I’m saying is that you spent most of your life as a supervillain. An over the top, absurd, sometimes downright stupid supervillain. But towards the end of your life, you moved in with us, and whether you like it or not, you occasionally helped us explain things to new superheroes. You spent the last year and a half of your life actually doing some good. And then, at the end, you sacrificed yourself to save the rest of us. Maybe that’s why you’re still here. Your soul is in conflict with itself. It doesn’t know whether you were good or bad. <Bad. I’m a bad guy! How dare you imply otherwise! You know what? Just for that, when you get around to cleaning up your bedroom, I’m gonna come back and ooze all over it again!> Gross, no thanks. Listen to me, you have another shot here. You’ve been given incredible powers. You’ve been removed from everything holding you back when you were alive. I think you can really use this opportunity to do a lot of good. <Bah! No thanks!> Whoever killed you is a bad guy, I think we can both agree on that. You’re not going to find them by going back to mutating alligators or creating a lab grown dodo bird and selling it to the highest bidder. You find them by fighting any bad guys you come across, work your way back to the source. Brainwave, I think it’s time you actually put your money where your mouth is and did something good for a change. <That’s not who I am.> It’s not who you were. It’s not who Dr. Brainwave was. But Dr. Brainwave blew up last week. He’s dead. You’re something else. Something new. And I think you have a chance here to be something better.  <Listen, even if I bought into what you were saying. I don’t know the first thing about being a good guy.> Sure you do! Don’t kill anybody, don’t commit any heinous crimes, and don’t try to take over the world. Everything else you need to know... well, we’ve been writing this guide for a few years now haven’t we? That should get you started. <Hrm.> You’ve got the chance to do something really good here Frederick. Don’t let it pass you by. <Fine. Fine, I’ll give it a shot. I don’t want my life to have meant nothing. I guess... I guess if I can’t take over the world, then I might as well leave it a better place than I found it. I’ll make it the kind of place that doesn’t need to be taken over.> Ok! Now we’re talking. And remember, I’m always here if you need help or guidance with something. You and me Brainwave, we can do some real good here. <Don’t call me that.> Pardon? <Brainwave, Dr. Brainwave. You’re right, that man is dead. It’s time to start over.> Well, if you need help, you know where to find it. <Heh, yeah. Thanks. For everything.> Anytime old friend. Good luck out there. I believe in you.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 5(Ao3 link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.

His next target?

A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.

—————————————————————————————————

"I can't believe you sometimes, boss," Danvers complains. "You're just unbelievable."

"But Danvers," Len says, widening his eyes, "if you don't say 'I believe in Leonard Snart' and clap three times, my inner light will fade and then I'll die -"

"You are not a fairy!"

"Only technically true," Len says. "I'm pansexual, while that term is generally used -"

"You know what I mean," Danvers says, giving a playful push to his shoulder. Danvers is ridiculously strong and has issues remembering that sometimes, so the push is enough to send a lesser man toppling down to the floor. Luckily, Len figured out the strength thing pretty early and he's learned to compensate for it, relaxing his muscles and going with the flow of it, so he's able to straighten up again pretty easy.

He hasn't told Danvers that he knows, of course, since she's so obviously embarrassed by it.

Just like she's too embarrassed to admit that she's hidden a microwave somewhere in her office that she uses to heat up his coffee or hot chocolate whenever he happens to arrive, since there is no way she's good enough at guessing when he'll arrive to make sure that stuff is always warm.

He keeps trying to hint to her that he really doesn't mind microwaved coffee - especially since Danvers has a knack for making it taste freshly brewed - but she keeps looking vaguely confused whenever he brings it up.

"Yes, I know what you mean," Len allows. "And just why am I being unbelievable this time?"

"You're planning on going out again," she says, throwing her hands in the air. "With the mask and that stupid parka -"

"I’ll have you know that the parka keeps my core warm against the gun," Len points out. "Besides, it's the only winter coat I have out of storage right now."

It might be the only winter coat he owns, but that's a minor detail.

"You know the media is calling you a supervillain, right?" Danvers asks, crossing her arms.

"And by ‘media’, you mean that one specific blog, right?"

"...yes."

"That blog also thinks I derailed that train by icing the tracks," Len says, rolling his eyes. "Despite the fact that the official investigation concluded that it was a combination of a mechanical issue and human error. That one?"

Human error, of course, is a reference to the fact that the transportation department couldn’t be bothered to keep their trains in sufficiently good condition that a miniscule spot of ice – no more than a foot or two – was enough to keep the damn thing on the line.

Ice. Len can scarcely believe it, but there it is, and it at least goes some ways to explaining why the kid could have thought that Len was the one responsible for it.

Though if a train can’t run over a few feet of ice without jumping a track, there’s a problem that speaks of years of sustained incompetence anyway.

Still, whatever the reason, the derailment would have been a total catastrophe if it wasn't for the Streak - no, the blog is calling him the "Flash" now.

It makes for a troublesome dilemma. On one hand, it seems like this Flash kid is actually doing good things, like rescuing the people on that train.

On the other hand, he's still taking the law into his own hands.

Violence is still violence, even against a criminal.

Len's list of corrupt cops to take down includes a good number that seem to have forgotten that their right to be violent extends only as far as it takes to fulfill their duties and no further. When you apply the same principle to a civilian who lacks any authority or right to use violence as a means of enacting law at all -

Hmm. Alternatively, Len could just charge the Flash with multiple counts of assault and battery the next time they meet. That might even work.

"Okay, I'll bite," Len says, finally giving in to Danvers' pointed glare. "Why is it unbelievable that I’d go out again? What’s unbelievable about it?"

"Uh, the part – make that the whole thing – where you're considering getting further involved with this whole Flash thing, obviously!" Danvers says. "Boss, what part of 'the Families want to kill you' is going over your head here?"

"I'm your boss," Len mock-grumbles. "Be respectful."

"Not in a million years."

"I don't see what the problem is, though," Len says. "It’s not like I’m going totally solo on it or anything."

"Boss," Danvers says flatly. "You convinced the Commissioner that the Flash incidents represented a possible threat to the overall impression of city security because someone, somewhere, was probably following along with his exploits on secret police radios -"

"The Commissioner is running for office this year," Len says dryly. "Anyone who offered him a method to haze the Families by sending people in to investigate the illicit police radios we all know they have was going to be able to convince him of just about anything, including an invasion from Jupiter."

"True," Danvers allows. "Though to be entirely correct, that would be an invasion from the moons of Jupiter, not Jupiter, since Jupiter is a gas giant and not – wait, no, not the point I was trying to make. The point is that you also got him to agree that because there is the possibility that the Flash is working with a cop to get on the police band, thereby making it part of your jurisdiction, that meant that you could help sponsor a Flash-related task force."

"Co-sponsor," Len says. "Singh signed on."

"Yeah, to keep an eye on you."

"Noticed that, did you?" Len says, pleased. "We'll make a proper spy out of you yet."

“Aw, thanks, boss,” Danvers says with a smile, complimented, but quickly goes back to being annoyed with him. "I heard him talking about it in his office. He's not really in favor of catching the Flash - he thinks the Flash is doing more good than harm - but he's willing to back you so that he can figure out what scheme you're up to."

"My reputation precedes me, clearly."

"Boss..."

"Relax. I'm one step ahead of him - he offered me Joe West to be on my team, which is pretty obvious sabotage given how much West obviously hates me; I told him I'd take Eddie Thawne instead. Since they're partners, he wasn't really in a position to refuse, and Thawne's a good kid."

"Coming from you, that's high honors," Danvers says, but she's smiling again.

"You're not bad yourself," Len says, smirking when she squeaks and blushes. "Your compilation of weird incidents with multiple uncoordinated eye-witness reports was key to convincing the Commissioner that there was something there worth checking out."

"It's my job, boss," she says, grinning.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not part of a secretary’s job.”

“Admin assistant, boss.”

"Well, while we’re at it, thanks for letting me borrow that mask," Len says. "Turned out there were some Family guys looking for me that night." His contracts had been very specific about that, since D'Angelo let slip he'd be meeting with Len, but it’d been a risk Len was willing to take.

"Made you borrow it, more like it," Danvers sniffs. "I can't believe you were just going to - to go out with your face just, like, right out there in the open - it's like you never even read a comic book -"

"I'm not actually a supervillain," Len reminds her, deeply amused. Danvers could probably take over the world if she found herself in a world that worked on comic book logic instead of real world logic. "I'm not doing anything illegal; I'm just policing in a creative and out-of-the-box way –”

Danvers snorts.

“–and meeting my community’s needs in dealing with a vigilante like that,” Len continues, cheerfully ignoring her. “Anyway, the mask was perfect - total anonymity without any obstruction of function. Why'd you have it lying around, anyway?"

Danvers turns red and starts spluttering something incoherent, which means it's one of those things she's weirdly embarrassed about.

It's like how she claims she takes the train to work, but manages to be there on time even when Len knows there's been a massive train delay.

Honestly, he has no idea what's going on in Danvers' brain sometimes. It's not like there's a stigma against carpooling or anything...

"Never mind, don't care," Len interrupts, waving a hand, and Danvers looks at him gratefully.

They talked about it, once, all these unusual reactions that she has, the way she gets flustered and evasive about the weirdest things. She'd come into his office late at night, jaw clenched with determination and fists shaking with anxiety, and offered to explain it all to him, because she didn't want him to think she was lying to him. He was, she explained, her only friend in Central City, and she was pretty sure she was his in return right at that moment, and she didn't want him to start suspecting her of betraying him by keeping secrets.

He'd taken one look at her, seen all of that anxiety and how she was forcing herself to take a step she clearly didn't want to take but felt she had to, and he'd promptly told her that he didn't care if she was a little green man from Mars as long as she did her job and didn't sell him out.

She'd stared at him blankly, so he'd explained: she very obviously didn't want to tell him whatever it was she was offering to tell him, not yet and maybe not ever; rather, she just felt that she had to. But Len doesn't believe in outing people over anything before they're ready, so whatever it was she felt she had to tell him, she could tell him whenever she really wanted to. If she was more comfortable with him not asking, well, then he wouldn’t ask - as long as whatever it was didn’t involve him getting sold out, which he was pretty sure it didn’t, then he honestly didn’t care.

Of course, then she'd burst into tears and Len had hidden under his desk in an attempt to get away from the rampant display of emotions, yelling all the while that he would add a no tears clause to her contract, which had the side effect of making her start to laugh even as she'd cried.

Ultimately, she'd decided she really wasn't ready yet, but that she thought she might be, eventually, and they'd gone from there.

To be perfect honest, Danvers has always been something of a mystery, right from the first time they'd met. At first Len assumed it was because she wasn't from Central - Danvers is from the area around National City, some small town in the outskirts, and she'd done some work there in various administrative assistant roles before she'd abruptly moved to Central only a few months before Len discovered and hired her away from the court reporter temp pool she'd been working in.

At that point, all he'd cared about was finding someone who wasn't very obviously a spy planted by either the Families or the other police departments. Danvers had been the court reporter at his first corruption trial; she'd been fast (she had to be, being a court reporter), efficient, unafraid of the Family connections of the cop on trial, and had trouble hiding her smirks when Len made a particularly snarky comment.

More importantly, she had a clean background – as far as he’s concerned, anyway; he hadn't quite gotten used to working legit at that time, since he'd been less than two weeks out of the hospital and spitting mad, so he'd just had those of his illegal contacts that hadn't heard the news check her out and confirm that there wasn’t anything criminal about her - and anyway Len got along with her the few times he'd dragged her into various conference rooms to do some freelance transcribing of plea deal negotiations and deposition testimony.

So he'd decided to take a gamble and asked her if she'd like a thankless job saving the city where everyone would take her achievements for granted and turn up their noses in disdain at her failures, plus a small pay increase and shitty health care.

Amazingly, even with a pitch as awful as that, she accepted.

Apparently, Danvers enjoys fighting the good fight for barely any reward.

That, or she really needed the steady paycheck.

Len honestly doesn’t care which.

It’d been a little rocky at the start, but they got used to each other over time. Len's an abrasive asshole and doesn't know how to use the services of a secretary, but Danvers spends half the time acting like she's invulnerable and the other half acting like she’s afraid she’s going to break everything just by breathing on it, and that’s also pretty annoying. Luckily, after some encouragement, it turned out that she had the guts to stand up to him and call him out when he’s on his bullshit, and ever since then they’ve worked well together.

Now Len likes to think that they’ve even become friends.

Danvers even eventually opened up a bit about her history.

Apparently, her abrupt shift from National to Central had followed a pretty terrible blow-up with her sister and mother. Danvers hadn't given all that many details, but from what little she'd said, Len gathers that the sister had accepted a position based on some trait of Danvers' that Danvers would have preferred to keep quiet, a position that involved using Danvers as a case study, and Danvers hadn't taken it well when she'd found out.

"I know exactly what you mean - fucking shrinks," Len told her after that particular confession, nodding vigorously. They'd been having drinks in his office at the time, since the last time they'd gone out to a bar some Family grunt had pulled a gun on Len and Danvers had managed to get in between the guy and Len. Luckily, the gun jammed or maybe the guy missed, but either way nobody seemed like they’d gotten hit with a bullet, and Len hit the guy over the head with his crutch, but he'd decided not to risk Danvers doing something that stupid again. "Just because you ain’t neurotypical makes 'em think that they can push you around. S'like they totally forget that you’ve got feelings, or at least they pretend to themselves that you wouldn't care about that type of shit at all just ‘cause you’re different. Mick had one of those - a foster mom that adopted him because she wanted to write a paper about pyromania. He liked her right up until he figured out that she just wanted his cooperation so she could do more observations. Never even occurred to her to think about how he'd feel when he found out she used him to get ahead in her career."

Danvers, halfway into a bottle of tequila and a pint of Ben and Jerry's, giggled a little hysterically. "Yes," she said. "That, it’s like that exactly. I never thought there'd be a parallel – but yes. That. It's just like that. She's my sister, you know? She should be on my side, not – not using me to get, I don’t know, up an extra step on the ladder!"

"Hell yeah," Len said solemnly, clinking glasses with her. He wondered a little what unique trait Danvers had that her sister had tried to take advantage of – some form of autism, maybe? ADHD? He’d heard that manifested differently for girls, and anyway it made sense given how she clearly had some sensory processing issues, hearing things louder than he did and flinching at relatively mild sounds and sometimes getting overwhelmed by emotions, not to mention the way she sometimes didn’t quite get certain basic social conventions – but he wasn’t going to ask or anything; that’d be seriously rude. After all, he certainly didn’t care what she had as long as she kept doing her job, and he was pretty sure by now that she knew that if she needed any accommodations, she only needed ask for them and he'd do everything in his power to get it done.

He did make a mental note to see if she’d like some more pillows to go next to her desk for her to fidget with, though. She liked those.

"And she even made it out like she was just doing it to protect me!" Danvers exclaimed. "But if she was, she would've asked, right? She wouldn't have lied about what she was doing. She wouldn't have - she wasn't ever planning on telling me. Not ever! I only found out because I was looking for where I'd hidden her birthday present and we've always used the same hiding spots and I found a file. On me. Who even does that?!"

"Bullshit," Len agreed. "Total bullshit."

"And then Mom got involved and she was just pissed off about Alex's job, not about the fact that she was studying me, except it turns out that when Alex gets frustrated, she blames me for taking up all the attention and, like, I don't know, ruining her life by making her not an only child or something stupid like that. And – and – and while we were all blowing up about that, it turned out that mom's also been lying to us – both of us – for literally years about what happened to Dad – about how he died – and then Alex starts blaming me about it because the trouble all started after I got adopted -"

“Ouch. Below the belt.”

“I know! And – and what’s the worst part, you know – they’d always been on my case about being ‘normal’. Both of them. Normal, normal, normal, normal, until I was ready to scream, and the whole time they both know so much more than what they were telling me – and taking advantage of the fact that I’m not normal – and it’s just not fair!”

Her lip was trembling again.

"To shitty families," Len said, raising his glass. He'd already told her about his dad, since he wanted her to be on the look-out in case Lewis reared his ugly head anywhere near Len's new job, and she'd been great about not blatantly pitying him too much about it. One of the reasons he liked her so much. "And the lies they tell."

After a minute, he added, "Lowercase 'f'."

"Uppercase 'f' Families lie too," Danvers pointed out.

"They're not who we're toasting. C'mon, don't leave me hanging."

Danvers giggled and clinked glasses with him. “I still miss them, you know,” she added. “I think I’d have forgiven them, eventually, if I’d stayed. Probably way earlier than I really should have. Like, five minutes later.”

“Socialization and habit,” Len says solemnly. “Heard it’s worse for girls; you’re raised to be all forgiving and shit, yeah?”

“Yeah, basically. That, plus, you know, I did always feel guilty about how I just showed up on their doorstep, so I’ve always kinda tried to play the peace-maker, you know?”

“That’s the habit half of the equation.”

“Yeah…anyway, I probably would’ve found a reason to forgive and forget and everything, but, ugh, I was just so angry. I just – I was in between jobs at the time, too. I mean, I had an interview scheduled the next day with CatCo Worldwide Media as Cat Grant’s personal assistant. No guarantee I’d get it, of course. But there was like this moment where I realized that if I was fighting with my family then, well, I didn’t really have anything keeping me there. In National City, I mean. So I just packed a bunch of my stuff and flew away. Ended up at a hotel in Central.”

“Tell me you didn’t use your credit card.”

“I’m pretty sure that particular hotel didn’t even accept cards,” Danvers said dryly. She was familiar enough with Central City’s extremely shitty hospitality scene now for it to be a joke, though Len suspected it hadn't been when she first arrived. “It wasn’t exactly good quality, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, do I ever.”

“Anyway, I was still steaming angry the next morning, so I pulled a bunch of cash out of my account, canceled all my cards, got myself that temp job as a court reporter, and grabbed the first apartment that came on the market, and, well, by the time I calmed down enough to start feeling guilty about our fight, I was pretty well rooted here and wasn’t really in the mood to go back to National and be the first one to forgive. Again.”

“Totally reasonable.”

“They haven’t even apologized, you know,” Danvers said, draining her glass again. She had the alcohol tolerance of a mule. Len was just drunk enough at this point – thank God he isn’t macho enough to think he needed to match her shot-to-shot or else he’d be dead – to think about how much Mick would enjoy that quality of hers when-if he woke up. “I reached out to them eventually and they just started worrying about me being all on my own in a big city, how will I be able to handle it on my own, is this going to make it hard for me to stay normal without support, yadda, yadda, stupid yadda, and when I pointed out that I was still really angry at them, they just, I don’t know, wanted me to get over it - they even got my cousin to come try to, quote, talk some sense into me, end quote.”

“Rude.”

“They keep comparing me to him,” Danvers added bitterly. “He’s much better at being normal.”

“Ain’t he some sort of weirdo Pulitzer-prize winning investigative journalist that works almost exclusively in Third World countries where there ain’t no modern internet?” Len asks skeptically. “That ain’t exactly what I’d call normal.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t really come back to America much anymore,” Danvers says with a shrug. “And when he does, he avoids cities whenever possible, even though he used to want to go work in a big paper in Metropolis. He even had a job offer from the Daily Planet! His original set of foster parents would’ve wanted him to take it, but they died and he came to live with – well, with my family – and they all convinced him it’d be too much for him, so in the end he didn’t take it. He’s – he’s like me. Not normal. But apparently it’s okay to not be normal as long as you do it where no one can see you or report you or something like that.”

“Wow,” Len said. “What fucking assholes. I hope he told you to carry on.”

Danvers grinned. “He told me to do what I thought was right, no matter what anyone said. And that’s when I signed a year-long lease – not on the first apartment I snagged, don’t worry, I’m in a much better area of town now –”

Good, Len was about to ask.

“– and also changed my phone number so my mom and my sister would stop harassing me at work.” She drained another glass. “And that’s why we’re still not talking. Not until I decide that I’m ready to talk to them again.”

“I don’t recall them harassing you at work,” Len said.

“I mostly ran out the back to take their calls,” Danvers said. “The one time they tried to call you instead of me, you’d just come back from PT and were super grouchy, so you told them that you would bring the full force of the FBI on their asses for wire fraud if they didn’t fuck right off.”

Len – vaguely remembered that. He’d thought they were telemarketers or possibly evangelists.

“Don’t worry,” Danvers added, grinning. “I appreciated it.”

It was a good night, even if Len distinctly remembers getting increasingly drunk as it went on (Kara didn’t, but again she has that ridiculous metabolism) and telling her about the first time he met Mick and some other unnecessarily soppy stories about him.

Either way, though, that background made Danvers understandably touchy about people who lied to close friends and family – and that, in turn, made Len feel more like he could trust her…

"Mask or no mask, I still don't like the idea of you going out in person, you know," Danvers says, snapping Len out of his reverie. "You're still fragile."

Len makes a face at her. He would love to dispute that, but he used his new braces for less than two hours yesterday, just for the not-really-maybe-kinda-sorta-masked-supervillain-superhero-confrontation-thing, and he's already got cramps very nearly everywhere to show for it.

Fucking bullet wounds. Hollywood is a filthy liar when it comes to recovery time, especially for ones that nick your spine.

Actually, that reminds him that he needs to call Lisa again – she’s still incredibly pissed off at him for getting hurt after having promised time and time again that he’d be fine doing his thing and that getting her the money to go off and live straight was worth the risk.

She refuses to see him again until he’s better, even though she demands regular phone calls. He knows it’s irrational, she knows it’s irrational, but he can’t begrudge her whatever superstitions she relies on as coping mechanisms to deal with a father as awful as Lewis and a brother as reckless as Len, even though he does miss her.

"You could always let the beat cops do their jobs," Danvers continues, sounding almost wistful about it even when she knows there's no chance. As it happens, she and Lisa get along great, albeit only by text message. "It's what they do, you know. Especially if this Eddie guy's good..."

"And miss out on the adrenaline?" Len asks, arching his eyebrows at her. "No, seriously. I can't step back now; I sold the Commissioner on me supervising this personally, and Singh only agreed to back me once I specified that I'd take the fall if anything blew up in our faces - which it won't, even if we do find that this Flash guy is up to no good -"

Danvers makes a face. Subtly - it's barely a wrinkle in her nose - but Len still catches it and interprets it.

"You have news," Len says, interrupting himself. He knows all of Danvers’ tells. "Tell me the news."

"It's not definite yet," Danvers demurs, but Len's already waving off the disclaimer.

"I'd take initial results from you over a definitive say-so from any cop in this division, Eddie Thawne included," Len tells her when she seems resistant to continuing. "I'll keep in mind that it's preliminary. What's up?"

"There’s been a noticeable increase in missing persons reports in Central since the Particle Accelerator explosion, for one thing," Danvers says. "Noticeable. Even if we only track the period since the Flash has been known to be active, there's - well - a lot. More than usual."

"Correlation doesn't mean causation."

"Do I teach you to pick pockets? No? Then don't lecture me on statistics. I'm getting to the point. The point is: I've correlated instances of people seeing blurs of light or lightning with those missing persons' reports, and there's a link."

Len straightens up at that. "How much of a link?"

Damn, and he'd really been starting to think of the Flash as harmless, or at least starting to hope that he'd gotten to the kid before he started letting his worst instincts take over. But if he's already a murderer...

"No deaths," Danvers says, clearly divining his thoughts from his face. "Just weirdo disappearances - sometimes of people who'd already gone partway off the grid already, even. But we're talking eyewitnesses putting the Flash - or someone like him - at ground zero of some of these disappearances. We're talking credit card purchases stopping the day after a Flash sighting in some guy's last known vicinity."

"Damnit."

"Yeah," she says with a sigh. "I was really hopeful, you know?"

"You were hopeful about the Hood guy in Starling before the murders started, too."

"This one seemed nicer," Danvers says firmly. "Less intimidation, less judgment, less 'you failed this city' –” Len will never tell her, but Danvers cannot do a spooky intimidating voice to save her life. “– more actually stopping crimes by dumping perps at the station door."

"Thereby eliminating the link between them and the crime scene and letting them plead out on technicalities," Len says dryly. "Remember that jewel shop case? If we hadn't had camera evidence from the CCTV, we'd be up the creek and the perps in question would be free as songbirds. And remember, like I told you -"

"Just because he's going after criminals doesn't mean he's not just trying to take out the competition," Danvers recites. "I know, I know."

"Good. You got anything else for me?"

Danvers makes another face. "We-ell..."

"Danvers."

She sighs. "Okay, but one question first."

Len arches his eyebrows at her.

"Is there any chance you're going to be so focused on this Flash thing that you'll ditch the Allen investigation? Because in comparison, Allen is really small stuff -"

"None," Len interrupts. He knows his voice has gone a bit icy. "Allen's corrupt; I'm sure of it. It's just a matter of proving it."

"But you actually like him!"

"I like lots of people -"

"Please remember who you're talking to here," Danvers says dryly. "I know for a fact that you don't like people. Any people. Your list of people you do like can probably be counted on the fingers of a man who’s had a few cut off - and I'm including your regular information contacts that you don't actually like on that list."

Len makes a face at her. Sadly, she's not wrong.

Worse, he reaches the same conclusion even after adding Barry Allen to the list of people he likes.

"You're usually better at prioritizing your investigations, that's all," Danvers adds, apologetically. "I just - it's pretty obvious that the only reason you're going after Allen is, well, you know..."

"I've got a few more investigations already up and running," Len points out, feeling a little guilty. She's not wrong about his reasons. She's also not wrong about the fact that in a normal situation, he wouldn't have thought Allen's bizarre brand of hard-to-spot corruption was bad enough to get this obsessed over. Especially not once he found out how unbelievably friendly and bright and funny Allen is...shit, Danvers is right. Len really needs to figure out how to make more friends. Not to mention how to get a real date rather than whatever-it-is he has with Allen on Friday. "The DAs already have enough info to take three corrupt cops out of active duty, which they have, and I've given them enough to get wiretapping warrants out on another three -"

Central's so goddamn corrupt.

It's a good thing Len knows how to play the system and make sure the occasional corrupt DA that gets assigned one of his cases is either scared into working it straight or that the case they get involves corruption by an opposing Family, so they’re incentivized to press on, because otherwise he wouldn't have enough DAs to handle all of the cases he's feeding them – and all the while he’s building a body of law that he’ll one day use to take the corrupt DAs down, too...

"- so all in all, they're actually pretty happy that I'm taking some time to do my own projects, like Allen and the Flash," Len concludes. "Hell, Singh definitely thinks I’m up to something, and even he’s relieved that I’ve taken up some ‘normal’ policing instead of harassing his officers left and right. I've got the time to do both of 'em and I intend to. Now, why do you ask?"

"But you’re so cute about him," Danvers grumbles. "It's not fair."

"What ain't fair, Danvers?" Len’s not touching that.

"The comms system the Flash uses," Danvers says, finally giving in. "The one we couldn’t hack into? I've managed to triangulate where the other end of the signal originates."

"You did? That's great!"

"And I think I've located those people you gave me sketches of," she adds, nodding at her desk. "Though next time you go out, I'm equipping you with cameras - your artistic ability definitely lies in blueprints, not portraits."

"Next time I go out Flash-hunting, I'll have official CCPD backing rather than implied," Len says with a shrug. "You can put all the cameras you like on me then. You've tracked them all down?"

"Yep."

“And they’re associated with the same place the signal comes from?”

“Yep.”

"And that is - where?"

Danvers sighs. "I think - and no absolute guarantee, but I’m moderately sure – that the other end of that signal came from STAR Labs."

Len freezes.

STAR Labs.

Technically defunct after the Accelerator explosion, property of the now disgraced solitary genius Harrison Wells, and private "clinic" of only one patient: Barry Allen.

Of course.

Of course.

"He's in on it," Len says, starting to get angry. "Allen. He's involved with whatever the hell new Family unit Wells must be trying to put together or whatever’s going on there. Allen's using his CSI skills to help get this Flash guy to would-be crime scenes - figuring out where their rivals are and sending the Flash to set them up - or, worse, covering up the disappearances and murders the Flash has already set up -"

At least the existence of this law-breaking Flash kid means that there's still hope that Allen hasn't moved into full assassin territory yet. If he hasn't crossed the line to targeted murder, then Len can make sure his sentence isn't too bad - some minimal prison time, maybe, definitely a lengthy parole period, and of course he'll never work in the police again, but at least Len won't have to think about smiling, friendly Allen locked behind bars for years and years, having his spirit crushed under the abusive steel boots of the prison guards...

"Certainly seems like it," Danvers agrees, glumly disappointed. She'd really been hoping for Allen to be clean, Len knows. "But it's still just a guess, boss. I don't have anywhere near enough for a warrant, either on the Flash stuff or Allen."

"Looks like Friday's still on, then," Len says. He's going to find out everything he can about what scheme Wells and Allen and this ‘Flash’ are cooking up in STAR Labs, and he's going to put a stop to it. He reaches out to grab his crutch, using it to lever himself up.

"Where are you going?" Danvers asks with a frown. "It's not Friday yet."

"Different lead," Len assures her. "Same endpoint. You want anything from Jitters?"

"Cupcake," Danvers says immediately. "Like, four of them. Oooh, and one of those crullers. You owe me sugar. So much sugar. In the meantime, I'll go back to putting together that list of sightings for you. I know I said the preliminary list was all I was going to do, but I swear I think there's something weird there and I want to follow it up."

"I trust you," Len says again. He likes saying it: he almost never did, for most of his life. He's trying to be better about it now so that he'll be able to say what he needs to say to Mick when (if) he wakes up. "Let me know if anything new comes up."

With that, he heads over to Jitters. It's late, but his contact was busy during the day and late evening was the earliest time that she would agree to meet with him.

Better yet, she's already there when he arrives, typing away on her laptop.

Len makes his way over and settles down in the seat across from her.

"Miss West," he says with his best charm-the-marks smirk fixed firmly on his face. "Thanks for agreeing to meet with me. Big fan of your blog..."

[badberry-rp-partner-search]

RP PARTNER AD!!! (OwO)/

HEWWO!!! Folk call me Chicky or Bean! Sometimes Carm- it depends! But I’m in search of an rp partner! I’ve looked through tumblr a lot when it came to rp ads and through this hellsite I’ve found a lot of genuine partners that I now view as some of my closest friends. BUT LIFE HAPPENS!! So now I’m back and looking for another partner and maybe if I’m lucky a friend!

So I’ve never? Written an? Ad? Before??? Usually I just reply to them- So if I miss something you’re interested in feel free to DM me here later and I’ll answer!

Okay A little Abt Me so you know what you’re getting into:

I am currently 19, and doing school full time. I’m a Theatre Major and identify with she/her pronouns (if? Thats important? To some people it is- to me personally I am accepting of the entire gender spectrum.) Being as I’m currently in school please be understanding if I’m not online 24/7- I promise I’m usually pretty present and I’ll let you know if something comes up. In other news- I am filled to the brim with chaotic bisexual energy (yes we stan bisexual awareness and acceptance in this HOUSEHOLD. P L S.) UhhhhHHhhh I’m not sure what else to put here. If you have any other like questions? Lmk? HOPEFULLY we’ll get to know eachother if I catch ya fancy!!!

Now for the fun BITS( WHAT I’M LOOKIN FOR):

-I write in and prefer third person rps! Honestly with length PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t leave me with like a two sentence reply if I write a page. That’s all I ask. Most of my replies tend to be 3/4 sizable paragraphs give or take!

-I’ll rp with anyone as young as 17 and as old as 25. If you’re older than my step-brother I’m sorry I dont think I’d be very comfortable rping with you.

-Because I know that everyone has a life outside of RPs and things I dont expect a reply every day. I do full time school- I GET IT. But I do like to hear from my partners at least a few times a week. If not only for the memes bc I DO send cat pictures and Pinterest chaos that I find.

-I cannot express HOW MUCH I LOVE HEAD-CANONING. Even if it doesnt pertain exactly to the rp? I ADORE IT. I love useless facts about your characters- or dumb ideas in passing. Cute scenarios or things that have aBSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH WHATS HAPPENING IN THE MAIN PLOT. I’m a sap for character connections and I will send stuff about the potential there.

- As far as pairings go? I do it all! I have SO many ocs with so many gender identities and sexual orientations that as long as you’re open minded then we can rock and roll! I’m open to m//, f//, m/f, nb pairings, gender fluid(i have a few fluid babes myself), etc etc! Lmk whats up!

-I ONLY do Oc rps- So sorry to canon/oc or canon/canon. I thoroughly enjoy the worlds and the AU opportunities, but I don’t think I would feel comfortable there. THAT BEING SAID I have several fandoms that would make for FANTASTIC AUS.—

-Here are a few groups with AU POTENTIAL THAT I THRIVE FOR:

+ Haikyuu!! (If you’re a hq fan I will die. I lO VE THIS SHOW)

+ Pirates of the Caribbean (pirates!au got me like oooOooooOOo)

+ Tonari no kaibutsu-ken (My Little Monster) <- (another all time fave. Its so cute and good. Nothin like a babey asf slice of life to make my big stoopid heart soff)

+ Harry Potter (yes I’m a hoe for hogwarts au. The p o T e n t i a l.)

+ INU x BOKU SS (Inu x Boku Secret Service) <- (THIIISSSSSSSSSSS A A A AA A AAAAA GIVE ME THAT SPIRIT TEA)

+(There’s probably more, but I’m blanking rn big oof. DM ME IF YOU’RE CURIOUS ABOUT A FANDOM AND WHERE I STAND WITH IT AS FAR AS AUS GO. B c there’s a solid chance I have heard of it and I a m 100% willing to build an au with you around it!)

ANYWAY abt Ocs- I LOVE MY KIDS. And I’ll love YOUR KIDS. I LOVE OCS IN GENERAL. I draw art of my dumbasses all the time and if we hit it off real good and I feel mega inspired I’ll draw art of our kids interacting. (No promises but like y e e t)

I say this bc I do have an art blog that I’ll link at the very end of this mess so you can see and meet them. If you have an art blog too? I would LOVE TO SEE IT. AND FOLLOW YOU!! I wanna explore potential together!

Okay okay so I think? At the end of these people usually put like the potential rp ideas they have and I got a couple, but honestly if you have something you’re curious about exploring tell me about it!! I’m eager to see what ideas you have and we can build something together!!

Royals!AU

— (royal/servant)

— (royal/bodyguard)

—(royal/peasant)

Vampire!AU

—(vampire/thrall)

—(pureblood/turned)

—(pureblood/rogue)

—(hunter/vampire)

—I have some original worlds when it comes to vampires that have exploring potential!

A/B/O

—I think the world is sUPER CUTE. I know a lot of it is smut (nothin wrong with that ig) but like the fluffy bits are quality and here we stan some f l UFF.

Pirates!AU

— Captain/First Mate

— Pirate/Siren

— I know this lowkey loops up to Pirates of the Caribbean!au, but we dont have to follow the movies lore which is sorta why i put it like? Separate?

Detective/Criminal

— Detective/Thief

—Retired!Criminal/ Detective (working on Criminal’s case)

I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE RN!!

Okay! So this is sorta the end of my ad I think! If you made it this far and you’re interested Uh TEA! I am SO EXCITEDDDDD! If you’re genuinely interested, follow, and like this post and acct, then send me a message here!

I only rp through Discord, but I won’t leave my discord info here. After we talk a little in the tumblr dms and you tell me a little bit about yourself and what you like then I’ll hand it over and we can GET TO BRAINSTORMING!!! YAYYY!!!

ANOTHER THING! Bc i know that tumblr is a chaos site that never puts a date on ANYTHING and I have LIVED THROUGH THE EMBARRASSMENT OF MESSAGING SOMEONE IN THIS RUSSIAN ROULETTE OF HOW LONG AGO DID THEY POST THE AD I’M GONNA PUT THE DATE HERE WITH MY ART BLOG LINK HERE.

August 31, 2019!

[thekoshertribble]

“Oh, the sound of male ego. You travel halfway across the galaxy and it’s still the same song.” Women of Star Trek Blog Entry #3 “Mudd’s Women”: Eve McHuron

Hi everyone! I’m back. I’ve been looking forward to writing about this episode. Eve McHuron is a great character, and I have a lot to say about her. With that in mind, I’ve broken this blog into 4 parts. It might end up being the longest entry I make so please bear with me.

Part One: Hologram Brides

Ever heard of Picture Brides?

If you haven’t, here’s a quick history lesson: back in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, men from China, Korea and Japan immigrated to Hawaii and California in search of work opportunities. Most engaged in hard manual labor, and couldn’t make enough money to go back home. Many of them wanted to marry women from their home countries, so they would have their photograph taken and sent to a matchmaker there. Local families would, with the matchmaker’s help, choose a man they liked and send one of their female relatives over as that man’s bride. These future brides, like their to-be husbands, often made the long journey to seek opportunities they could not find at home.

I know what you’re thinking: okay, great history lesson, but what does this have to do with Star Trek? Well, I’ll tell you. 

When Harry Mudd and his three female passengers are apprehended and taken aboard the Enterprise, Mudd explains they is bound for Ophiuchus III, and that he he “recruits wives for settlers.” Kirk is concerned the women did not come voluntarily, but Eve explains that they are personally motivated : “it’s the same story for all of us, Captain: no men! [My planet] was a farm planet with automated machines for company and two brothers to cook for, mend their clothes...we’ve got men willing to be our husbands waiting for us, and you’re taking us in the opposite direction!” Criminal background aside, Mudd granted these young women with an opportunity they could not turn up - the chance to have a husband, a home, a family of their own, to live a “Little House on the Planetoid” kind of life. Harry Mudd’s passengers, Eve, Ruth and Magda, are essentially like the picture brides of old, (albeit not ethnically.) Although, it might be more accurate to call them “hologram brides” instead.

Part 2: Magda, Ruth and Eve, the Daughters of Lear

English lesson time! Ever read/watched King Lear? Shakespeare’s classic play tells of a elderly mad King Lear and his 3 daughters, Goneril, Regan and Cordelia. The first two sisters are greedy, corrupt and power hungry, while Cordelia is kind, forgiving and loyal to her father. Her most notable trait is her honesty - she refuses to over exaggerate her love for her father, as her sisters do.

Now let’s look at Ruth, Magda and Eve. Ruth and Magda, while not necessarily bad people, are more willing to go along with Mudd’s schemes. At his instructions, they seduce various crew members to get information. They also take the Venus drug, which transforms them into beautiful women from their original “ugly” appearances. They are tempted by Mudd’s offers that he will marry them off to rich husbands: “Maggie, I’ll make you a countess. Ruth, I’ll make you a duchess.”

And then, there’s Eve. She immediately stands out for the audience because she is the first to speak. When Mudd and his passengers are escorted from the transporter room to Kirk by Spock, Mudd says some rude things to Spock in the turbolift. Spock, of course ignores it but Eve turns to him and says: “I apologize for what he said, sir. He’s so used to buying and selling people-“ but Mudd cuts her off before she can continue. 

Later, during Mudd’s hearing, Eve explains where she came from (see quote from part one) and why she wanted to leave. Mudd tries to patronizingly calm her down, saying, “fine, Evie, fine” but she cuts him off: “No, it’s NOT fine!” These moments tell us she is not afraid to speak her mind, and she does not accept being pushed aside.

Even more notable is her later (seduction?) scene with Kirk. Mudd sent her to Kirk’s quarters to get information from him. She does a fair job of charming him, and the two share some interesting dialogue too, reflecting some similarities in their characters. But just as Eve tries to kiss him (with Kirk seemingly reluctant to do so) she pulls away and the whole mood changes. She sighs: “Oh, no! Oh, I just can't do it. I don't care what Harry Mudd says. I do like you, but I just can't go through with it. I hate this whole thing!” And with that, she runs from the room, leaving a very confused Kirk behind her.

There’s a lot going on in this scene. (You should go back and watch it, I’m not going to get into it for sake of brevity). But what it tells us is this: Eve has a very strong moral compass. Yes, she likes Kirk, but she won’t seduce him because Mudd told her to.

After leaving Kirk’s quarters she goes to Mudd’s. She finds him there plotting with the Ruth and Magda. She glares at him: “I don’t like you! And I’m not very happy with myself either.” She hates the situation, Mudd for trying to manipulate her, and the part of herself that complied. You have to feel for her - she’s a young woman alone on the frontier, traveling with corrupt strangers to marry another stranger. Like the Picture Brides of old, she’s lonely, desperate, and trying to hold onto her identity. And she has yet to reach her lowest point.

When Kirk is forced to hand the women over to the miners in exchange for dilithium, Eve is the one who can’t adapt. Magda and Ruth practically throw themselves to the men, and are amused when they brawl over their attentions. Eve however, breaks down. Having nothing left to lose, she runs outside into a magnetic storm, practically a death sentence: “why don’t you just run a raffle and the loser gets me?”

Fortunately, Ben Childress, the head miner, finds her passed out and brings her back to his quarters. He puts her on his bed and goes to sleep on a bench. When he wakes he finds her up and about, cooking on his stove. “I ate some of your food so I paid with some chores,” she explains. Childress doesn’t like her food, or her working around the house and complains, but she calmly brushes it off. “Oh the sound of male ego. You travel halfway across the galaxy and it’s still the same song.”

DAMN she didn’t just serve him food, she served him too!

And she proves to be the smarter of the two as well. When Childress says he can’t properly clean the cooking pans without a decent water source, she suggests hanging the pans in the wind to let the sand blast them.

All of these scene snippets tell us what kind of person Eve is: honest, loyal, kind, and clever. Despite her trials she perseveres and refuses to be defeated.

Part 3: Drugs or confidence? (Or...Aliens)

This episode is a bit unusual in that it gives us an ambiguous ending regarding Mudd’s hologram brides, particularly Eve. The Enterprise crew is confused by how intriguing Mudd’s women are. (Seriously, some crew members act like they’ve never seen a woman before - it’s really funny. Spock is super amused.) We get a partial answer through the Venus drug, as we see Magda and Ruth take it and transform from ugly to beautiful.

But with Eve it’s a different story. Mudd gives her the drug, telling her to take it: “it’s not a cheat. It’s a miracle!” But we never actually see her take it. Later, on the mining colony when she is confronted by Kirk, Childress and Mudd, we see her take the drug and transform, but Kirk reveals it wasn’t the drug at all. It was just colored gelatin! Eve is confused, and Kirk simply explains: “there is only one kind of woman. You either believe in yourself or you don’t.”

Okay, so two things:

1. Nice little motivational speech, Kirk

2. But seriously, what just happened?

Right before she takes the “drug” Eve yells at Childress, challenging his idealistic expectations of women: “You don’t want wives! You want this!” She shows him the drug. “I hope you remember it and dream about it, because you can't have it. It's not real!” Then she takes the pill and transforms.

It’s implied that her sudden boost of confidence causes her transformation. Otherwise, she took the colored gelatin pill and experienced the greatest placebo effect in the history of placebo effects...

...but I just can’t quite buy it. Since when has feeling more confident in yourself made you look fantastic in less than 5 seconds? Have you ever woken up, gone to the bathroom and looked at your gross morning face in the mirror saying, “I feel great about myself today,” and BAM you’re all made up for the day? No, of course not! Because that’s not how life works!

The only other explanation I can come up with to explain this phenomenon within the bounds of Star Trek logic is this: Eve is not a human. This is totally possible, considering how many aliens in Star Trek look exactly like humans. So consider this: what if Eve is a humanoid who can control her appearance, consciously or unconsciously? We never actually get a confirmation that she is human, and when McCoy attempts to give her a medical exam, she refuses. So the question of Eve’s transformation still seems open to me. Is it just magical realism or aliens? I really don’t know. Let’s just move on.

Part 4: Final Thoughts

Its implied at the episode’s end that Eve will stay with Childress, or that he wants her to stay, despite his earlier rudeness. I hope that’s not what happened to her. I’ve never cared for Ben Childress, and he certainly doesn’t deserve someone like Eve. I want to imagine that she somehow got off planet and found a husband elsewhere, but with Mudd arrested I think that would be more difficult.

Eve’s character stands out to me because, unlike most of the characters I’ll be writing about in this series, she’s actually rather ordinary. She’s not an officer, a doctor or diplomat. She’s just frontier settler looking for a husband. She’s not trying to explore the final frontier, she’s just trying to live in it. And as this episode demonstrates, that’s not as easy as it sounds.

Thank you for reading! It took several days for me to gather my thoughts and write this so please like and share if you enjoyed it. I hope it provided some new perspective on this old episode and I look forward to doing this again.

Next entry: What are Little Girls Made Of?

-ftd

[authorincrisis]

Do you have any tips on how to write a thief? Currently struggling with it. Thank you so much for running this blog, I love it!

Hey, thanks so much for liking my blog! It means a lot, and I am glad that I could help! As for your question, I would like to begin by saying that like any other character, there is no ONE certain way to write a thief. Yes, their role is in the name, but they too can be complex and relatable which I think just makes them more interesting. So, instead of finding a solid way to describe this, I’ll leave you with some guidelines.

I don’t know very much about your character yet, however, you may. To get your audience on the same level, start by building their personality. (If it’s a single chapter or snippet kind of thing, don’t build too much but have little bits of dialogue and interaction that will help) What are they like? This is essential because it will leave us with a base which we can guess possible outcomes from. Here is a handy post that I use when building my characters and along with it, you could develop some arcs and charts to assist as well.

Next, based on the personality, we need to know how they will carry out their act of crime, how they will hide their evidence, lie, or behave in general. If they are clumsy, that will tell you something about their execution. If they are detail-oriented - another. Make sure you have potential faults in their plans that you can decide to use later (these are super subtle, and I know that you might not want to have any now but decisions can change)

Something that is crucial is keeping it realistic. Likely, a thief is prepared no matter who they are, so make sure some level of that is present. This can also be figured out by including a backstory. Why are they doing what they are doing? Think of something creative; villains can have more than the typical sob fest accompanying them. You don’t have to write a whole book to show this but instead, add it through little thoughts or dialogue (not necessarily internal). The additional effort will help the suspense, and you won’t regret it later.

Anyways, depending on their stakes - exactly how much they are willing to risk, you can determine how careful they are. Higher stakes equal more attention, and you can probably guess what happens with lower. Just like anyone else, right? The most significant change that I have noticed with criminals or suspenseful moments like this is merely the pace of it all. It should be fast, written with a racing pulse in mind. Yes, add everything that I have told you, details and all, but speed it up. Have those shocking bits of self-doubt, the adrenaline of everyone who may be present. Think of yourself in the characters position and move on from there.

Finally, you don’t have to write it all right now. If you need, work on a different part as a whole. And it’s okay if it’s not as great as you expect it to be. We’ve all been there, but the thing is that polishing your work is for editing. Crap is better than nothing, and I’d rather have you move on than to spend the rest of eternity on one piece. Work on prompts relating to the situation if you need but don’t bully yourself too much about it. I’m sure it will turn out in the long run.

Thank you very much for submitting your question, and I hope that my response helped. For further information, feel free to reach out and if not, have a fantastic day/night. Cheers!