#yes i am indeed a furry

[hi-note]

GODSPEED TUMBLR FOR LETTING ME DROP 10+ ART PIECES IN ONE POST

[petermorwood]

Is the CATS ARE NICE a reference to Terry Pratchett's Death? If yes, you're awesome. If no, you're also awesome because cats are in fact nice.

Yes, it's a Terry reference.

It's also my opinion about F. domesticus, especially since for all the Cats from Hell which get mentioned on-line and TV, the most we ever had with Our Lot was an occasional cat from heck.

Like the time Squeak tried to steal a roast chicken. All of it.

As in leap onto counter, grab convenient part of chicken firmly between teeth, straddle it, put head back and start walking. Just like a leopard with a gazelle or a lion with a zebra, except instead of a trail of blood and innards, there would have been a trail of roast potatoes, cocktail sausages and gravy.

Here's Squeak thinking plotting something.

The in-house joke was that his CV - yodelled at @dduane when he turned up on our doorstep one morning - started with: "I am not very clever, but I can lift heavy things..."

He was, in fact, a surprisingly bright cat who could recognise himself in a mirror and worked out, after a bit of checking, that the news ticker-tape across the bottom of DD's monitor did not in fact come in or out at the sides, never would, and was thus beneath his notice.

I'm not saying he could have pulled off the Great Chicken Robbery, but I'm not saying he couldn't, since he was a Norwegian Forest Cat in his prime of 8 kg / 18lbs.

Squeak was built like a furry rugby player, "...can lift heavy things..." was true and was frequently demonstrated (a favourite toy was a log of firewood).

Unfortunately for Squeak and fortunately for dinner, he lost focus and thieved several sausages first, otherwise he might have got away with it - if it hadn't been for those meddling kids humans, who could count, noticed the gang begging around our ankles was short the largest, loudest member, and reached a correct conclusion.

Steps were taken (quite rapid ones, IIRC) before any real mischief was done, and we even had some more sausages in the fridge to replace the ones in the cat.

Squeak was Not Pleased and sulked for a good while - there was no mistaking it because when he showed you his back, there was a lot of back - but when that didn't have any effect he returned to begging like all the others, and (because we are Big Softies) it paid off.

We miss him.

We miss all of them.

They were very fine cats, very fine cats indeed.

[ultralightpoe]

Carried Me With You - Jake Seresin

Authors Note: I am back, but as we all know I will probably disappear in another 3 days. Enjoy.

Word Count: 3,000 (UH HUH, EVEN BABY EVENNNNNN)

Warnings: Sad, a little family angst for y'all.

Description: Hello! The wonderful @fangirlvibez tagged me in this challenge back on September 9th and I saw it when I logged in today so you know I had to do it lovies. Thank you so much @fangirlvibez for tagging me, I am so sorry for the late reply but I hope you like it. And feel free to tag me for any more little challenges or prompts you had because I absolutely loved this one. <3

(Psst..... The song of this imagine is - Carried Me With You)

Enjoy! (pssst, song choice is -Carried Me With You- Listen and read for a top tier experience lovies.)

The Build A Bear employee looks extremely suspicious when Jake brings the empty coat of a bear up to her, a fake smile plastered from ear to ear as he holds it out as if he just ran into the woods to hunt it himself. 

Honestly he was sure he looked like a massive freak, from the 20 minutes he spent looking at all the display bears to choose and up to now where he probably looked like he had been one of Jokers goons in Batman. But he couldn’t help it, he was doing his very best not to breakdown and cry in front of this poor teen. 

She blinks up at him, back to the bear, and then back to him. 

“This is the bear you’ve chosen?” That one question has him debating everything, eyes widening as he pulls it back to himself quickly. 

“No. Yes. I have no clue.” 

“Okay, cool.” The worker, a young girl decked out in the most goth punk outfit he had ever seen, smiles and moves to grab it from him. Her long black acrylic nails snag the poor pelt from his hands and she pulls it to the stuffing machine. “We have multiple hearts that you can choose from for your little buddy here. We have classic, plaid and then a beating heart. Go ahead and take a look.” 

Jake nods, moving to grab one slowly before turning back to her. “You guys have sounds, right?” 

“We do indeed.” She smiles, nodding her head to show him the sound station. “Go ahead and pick or make a sound.”

She turns back to fix one of the spikes on her boots as he does so, rushing over to start recording the sound. The little script he wrote that morning on a sticky note was hard to read but he managed it, making sure to use that southern drawl he knew his baby girl loved before coming back to the stuffing station and handing it to her. 

“Alright, do we want our little buddy to be firm or plush?”

“I think…. How about firm?”

“Sounds great, and let’s go ahead and bless the heart while I’m doing this. First I’m going to have you rub your head so our buddy is smart. Perfect, now lets rub our belly so our buddy always has a good appetite. Awesome. Don’t forget to rub your knees so your furry friend always kneeds you. Jump up and down to get the heart beating and rub it against your heart so they always know how much you love them. And lastly close your eyes, make a wish and give it a kiss.”

Jake follows her word for word, going with the ceremony even though he knows it’s for kids. And when he closes his eyes he wishes ‘Keep my babies safe and happy’ before kissing the heart and handing it to her. She ties the bear up and hands him off, the teddy looking straight into Jake’s eyes as he walks off to find it a cute little outfit. 

By the time he makes it to the register Jake has the bear in a little naval outfit, hat and all, and the worker is grabbing the birth certificate from the printer with narrowed eyes. 

As she rings out the clothes he watches her closely, heart beating against his rib cage each step of the way. She was very goth, from the badass makeup to the spiky hair and spiky collar, not to mention the huge boots. It was like wednesday adams went punk and then got a job as Build A Bear as a joke. 

Then she turned to expose the backpack holding the pink stuffed animal decked out in rainbow and he couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s her name?”

“Cannibal, but when the kids ask Cami.” 

“Cami the Cannibal, I love it.” 

She finishes ringing everything up, raising an eyebrow. “Bugs?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s for my darlin’. You see I call her mom ‘Bubs’ and I call her ‘Bugs’.” Jake explains, whipping out his card as she begins dressing the bear. 

“This is for your daughter? How old is she turning?”

“Oh, it’s not for her birthday. I’m being deployed so this is my….. Something she has of me while I am gone.”

Her face goes slack and she blinks at him before shaking her head. “How old is your daughter?”

“Four.” 

“Then I’m saying this is a birthday bear. You only have to pay how old you’re turning for the bear.”

He thanks her, and before he knows it he is buckling Bugs into the backseat and driving home to see his two girls. 

- 

Bugs sits at the top of your closet for the next 5 weeks, you both break the news to your daughter four weeks out. She begs him not to leave and you let her sleep in your bed to try and soothe her tears. 

She sleeps in your bed every night after that. 

2 weeks out Jake’s mother throws a going away party for him, your daughter cries the entire time. 

Then the time came. 

Jake woke earlier than you, desperate to let you both get a little more sleep as he shuffled into the shared closet and reached up to find the box that held bugs. Dusting the bear off and making sure he looked good before moving to set it in the living room by his deployment bags. 

He kisses both your foreheads before jumping in the shower and getting dressed into his uniform. His throat is tight and his eyes burn but he does his best to keep it together, by the time he is dressed and ready to go he finds both of you sitting in the living room crying softly. 

You are doing your best to stop the tears, and Jake feels something shatter in his chest at the sight before the blur of the four year old is dashing to him. 

“Please don’t go.” She sobs, hands gathering the fabric of his uniform as he swipes the tears from her cheeks. 

“Easy now, Bugs. I’ll be back. It’ll be okay.”

“Please don’t go daddy! Tell them you can’t go!” From the corner of his eyes he sees you shuffling closer with the box, and he nods, reaching a hand out for the bear. 

“Daddy needs you to do something for me, okay bugs?” The tears are falling freely now as she shoves her forehead into his chest. He has to pull her back a bit so she sees the bear. “This? This is my friend Bugs, and Bugs is very very important to me. You wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because Bugs promised to take care of you for me. And he is gonna do a great job of it. But I need you to keep Bugs with you so he can do that. Yeah?” 

She shakes her head at first, sobbing loudly as he kisses at her forehead, before her hands reach out to pull the bear to her. 

12 minutes later you are holding her in your arms, crying as Jake gives you both one more kiss and heads out to the truck, waving as he pulls the car out even if he feels his heart shattering in his own chest. 

- 

You keep y/d home for the day, making her mac and cheese for lunch ans trying to play all her favorite movies in an attempt to cheer her up a bit. Nothing seems to work and she sobs all day, not that you were much better. 

By the time you are ready to tuck her in your eyes hurt from the amount of crying you had done and you felt drained and dehydrated. But nonetheless you hold your daughters hand as she shuffles into her room where Bugs now sat on the bed. 

You dress her in one of Jakes soft shirts for pajamas, tucking her into the blanket softly and rubbing her cheek. 

“Daddy always is here to say goodnight too.” She cries and you nod slowly, reaching for the bear. 

“You really think he would forget?” You smile softly, pinching the bear's paw. 

Jake’s southern voice rings out, a little frazzled out but there nonetheless. 

“The sun is setting in the sky.

 Let's light the moon and bring it high.

The shimmering stars sparkle and twinkle.

 I work out my wiggles as stardust I sprinkle.

The tree stands tall as the owl hoots.

 I send all my worries right down through my roots.

A moonlit lake, as I sit on the shore.

 Reflects three things that I am grateful for. 

With my hands on my heart, love is swirling around me.

 So I send it out to my friends and family. 

As I lie down I breathe one, two, three.

And feel the love come back to me.

Goodnight Bugs.”

She curls around the bear, sobbing loudly as you kiss her head. Truly not knowing how to fix this. 

- 

Three months later, you are holding her hand as she leads you through the mall, Bugs wrapped tightly in her other arm. 

She had played the sound so much that it sort of stopped working and instead of the entire poem all the bear truly said now was ‘Goodnight Bugs’. But that would have to do for now. 

You had done so many emergency surgeries on the bear since she refused to leave him behind. The poor thing had barely survived the kindergarten recess debacle before her teacher had to cut in and take the bear from her and the kid who had been wrestling to steal it. 

She had come home that day a blubbering mess until you sewed the arm back on and she kissed it better.

She had taken Bugs to the daddy donut day her school ran, and though she still her her grandpa there that day you were eternally grateful she had that bear. 

But Jake’s birthday was coming up, and you knew it would be rough on her no matter how many facetime calls he managed to sneak in. So you had asked what she wanted to do for his birthday. 

Which leads you here, staring at all the bear options in front of you as she tries to figure out which one she wants.. 

There was a goth girl waiting at the stuffing station, and you couldn’t figure out if she was glaring or trying to recognize you. 

“How about this one, bugs?” You ask, showing her the stitch before she shakes her head and snatches a brown bear. 

“It’s got to look cool mom.” Another milestone that you were positive Jake was devastated about. While he was away it had gone from daddy and mommy to dad and mom. It wasn’t much of a difference but it still made your chest ache every time she called you it. 

Before you know it she has snatched a bear and dashed to the sound station, not bothering to see if you would follow. 

By the time you make it to the stuffing station you are doing your best not to cry, handing the girl the sound and the bear as she smiles. 

“I see we have a bear, is this going to be his buddy?”

“YES!” Your daughter smiles, bouncing on her feet as you move to grab Bugs. 

“How about I hold this so you can create him. Yeah?”

She reluctantly lets go, moving to pick a heart as the girl asks about the pressure. 

“I want him so soft that you can squeeze all the love!” Y/d giggles and you can’t help but smile at that. The worker smiles to, her black lipstick making it all more of a victory. “I like your bear, what’s her name?”

“Cami.” The worker smiles and y/d shakes her head. “No?”

“No, how about….destroyer?”

“Oh, I like the way you think. Okay now touch the heart to your toes so your furry friend is ‘toe’tally awesome. Great job. Touch the heart to your knees so he always ‘knee’ds you. Good good. Now rub the heart between your hands so he always stays warm, don’t forget to rub your ears so he always hears you. And Now your eyes so he always sees you. Now rub your heart so he always has love and jump up and down three times to get that heart beating.” 

Y/d does everything with a huge smile lathered on her face, and the worker has the same excited smile on her own. 

“Now I need you to close you eyes and make a wish before you kiss the heart.”

She does as told, squeezing her eyes shut before saying ‘Make sure my dad is happy.”

And then the workers face falls into one of recognition, her eyes casting to the bear now held in your hand and back to the one she had been stuffing. 

By the time you have an outfit picked out she already has the certificate in her hands, nodding. 

“Bubs. I like it.” 

“Thank you. It’s what my dad and mom call each other.” Your daughter smiles, standing on her tiptoes to look up to the worker. 

“Let me guess, your bugs.”

“I AM!”  And just like that a wide smile is splitting across her cheeks as she slides the bear across the counter to your side. 

“It’s your lucky day. This bear is a part of the lonely hearts foundation. Which means so long as he is adopted into a happy and loving home he comes with no charge. Are you happy, bugs?”

“Yes.”

“Are you healthy, bugs?”

“I eat my broccoli, yeah.” You try not to snort, remembering that you had to bribe her with 6 oreos after a 2 hour dinner table stand off. 

“Then Bubs has found the perfect home.”  You mouth a thank you to the girl as you leave, giving your daughter bugs back so you can carry the box.

- 

Jake Seresin was absolutely miserable the day he got his birthday package. 

He was sweaty from the jets, irritated by his team. But most importantly he was completely lost without his girls. 

It had been four months since he last got to hold them and he was beginning to lose it. Sure, he got to facetime them which was a lot more then some of the other guys but he missed them terribly and he wanted nothing more than to be with them. 

He had gotten an extra thirty minutes of call time on his birthday a week ago, to which you had promised him you sent something out before y/d interrupted with a sassy tone “don’t ruin the surprise for dad, mom.”

He tried not to get upset at the dad part, but he couldn’t help it. He left while his bug called him daddy and stil had the chubbiest baby cheeks in town and now his little darlin’ was growing up and he couldn’t actually see it. 

But you had told him to expect the package and he did, finally a week later it was mail day and he sat on his bunk surrounded by his squad as they tore through letters. He sliced the tape of the box open, lifting the lid to reveal the cutest bear dressed in a texan jersey with glasses that reminded him of BOB. 

A laugh slips from his lips as he reaches to pull the bear to his chest, noting the cotton candy scent before his eyes snag on the letter. 

“Dear Bubs, 

This bear was sent out with a promise to keep. He promised both me and your daughter that he would keep you happy and healthy and bring you home to us. We made him knowing that only the bravest of bears could do this task and we made sure he was stocked up for the flight over. In the box he took your favorite candies. A stack of photos and a really cool beaded bracelet your daughter made at school. He was given a cotton candy scent to help block off the stuffy scent from the box but most importantly, he carries a top secret message that not even I was allowed to listen to. 

We hope Bubs takes care of you until you are allowed back into our arms, until then stay safe and don’t forget we love you.

Love, Your bubs.”:

There is a little monster drawn on the paper in crayon that makes his heart swell as he traces his fingers over the words and drawing before reaching to the bear. 

He lays with it as a pillow, pressing his cheek to the chest as he presses the hand to reveal the sound. 

His daughter's voice fills his ears, in the cheesiest southern accent he had ever heard. “I breathe one two three and feel the love come back to me. Good night daddy.” 

-

The next set of photos you receive in the mail are all photos of Jake and Bubs on journeys, and Y/D’s favorite was the one of the entire squad posing with bubs. Bob and the bear having switched glasses. 

You, of course, begin sending adventures back. One of Bugs and your daughter baking, another of the two on a swing set. 

Jake sends back a photo of Bubs ‘flying’ a plane. 

Over and over you both send the photos back and forth, everything is a little bit better when you carry a piece of each other with them. 

Your daughter asks you at dinner one night, between shoving her chicken in her face and avoiding the broccoli, if you had wanted a bug and bubs bear. 

All you can do is smile, booping her nose as you mumble. “You were my bear last time he was deployed.” 

“What did you send him?”

“A pee stick.” She doesn’t find it as funny as you did, but she makes sure to have bugs kiss your cheek goodnight before dashing to bed.

[eagna-eilis]

Lestat Watches Star Wars

Louis, viens t'asseoir dans la chambre television! Daniel has informed me that I must watch these masterpieces of the modern cinema... called Les Guerres D'Etoilles... you see this little boy, hm? i believe he will grow up to be most maniacal! MON DIEU regarde the red hornéd one as he twirls his rapier of fire! Louis, what is this, 'ow you say, 'podracing'? Is this a new mortal diversion? I should like to try it!

*

Mon cher, I do not understand why you are not paying attention - is the beauty of Monsieur McGregor not enough to draw your eye? Is he not your type, so blonde and charmant ...I neither understand nor trust these bourgeois politiciens d'espace at all... Oh, Louuuuuuuiiiisss regarde the beautiful dresses worn by Mademoiselle Padmé, she is trés elegante! Louis, what is a 'clone'? ...PUTAIN DE MERDE the heroic boy has slain tout les Raiders Tuskens! Les hommes, les dames, ET LES ENFANTS! Louis, I do not think that Mademoiselle Padmé should marry this brute, he is 'bad news' as the mortals say... WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW HOW SHE FEELS?! PUT DOWN THE PROUST AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

*

Ah, Louis, I can feel myself becoming attached to Monsieur Williams' belle musique. C'est most expressive, non? I feel for Petit Ani, he suffers at the thought of his beloved dying. Ah, would that he could bestow upon her the Dark Gift! ...LOUIS THEY HAVE OPERA IN THE GALAXIE LOINISSIMENT! ...oh SACRE BLEU Petit Ani has been flambéed! I can, 'ow you say, hardcore relate? Ah, so you are listening to me! What do you mean that if I was in space I would be a Sith Lord? that is most unkind, cher, most unkind indeed! Hmph!

*

C'est le temp pour le quatrieme! Un Espoir Nouveau! ahahaha Louis we should get an amusing little talking robot, non, come Le Err-doux-dee-doux et Le Cee-trois-pay-zero! oh mon cœur regarde the sunset, but double! How I understand Luc Marche-Etoilles, he longs to leave his sandy Auvergne for the bright lights of Tosche Station! Louis, what is a power converter? Louis, why do they fight poorly with their rapiers of fire when not three films ago they were wielding them with preternatural grace? ...Louis why did the furry one not receive an accolade from La Princesse?

*

Oh, Louuuuuiiiisss regarde the handsome Monsieur Solo in his coat d'hiver! He is such a dashing rogue! He loves to be told how bad he is! Il est trés sexy. Oh, Louis, don't pout with la jalousie. ...ugh, Lou, may we please do the fast-forward? I do not like this business in the swamp, and I think you know why. No, I don't know how to work the controller-remote - you must do it. PUTAIN SACRÉ THE EVIL BEAST IS THE FATHER OF BRAVE LUC! ...what do you mean we knew that already? We did not! I am shocked, Louis, SHOCKED I tell you... Why are you laughing at me? Oh, nevermind, I do so love to hear your laugh.

*

Louis, doesn't Monsieur Le Hutt remind you of Alderman Fenwick? Bahahaha, yes, Princesse! Strangle him! Oh, what a lark! ...Louis why do L'Empire continue to create these Etoilles de Morts when clearly they are no match for the magical powers of Luc, especially now that he is aided in confidence by wearing the most beguiling boots from Madame Chanel's fine atelier? ...Mon cher we could not trust you amongst those petits Chewbaccas, I fear you would eat them! ...sniff... sniffle... no Louis I'm not crying, there's just blood leaking from my eyes... just... I'm glad that Ani and Luc reunited... sniffle...

*

Louis, I do not understand what you mean. How can a mouse grab cash? Its petit souris paws could not hold more than a few centimes! ...hush now, mon chou, it is beginning ...Louis the delectable pilot and the beautiful ex-infantryman, they are supposedly 'just friends'. Mais ce n'est pas vrai, unless they are 'just friends' the same way you and I are 'just friends'! ...NON! NON NON NON! The beautiful Monsieur Solo has been slain by the fiery claymore of his own progeny! Que triste! Que Shakespearean! Though I for one wouldn't mind being impaled by Jeune Solo's claymore if you catch my... OW LOUIS DO NOT ELBOW ME IN THE RIBS! ARRÊT!

*

Loooooouuuuuuiiiiiiissssss, viennnnnnnnn, it is time for Les Derniers Jedi! OH MON DIEU Luke Skywalker, he is a hermit! Dedicated to his dying faith! Did you know Armand was comme ça when we met? Lou, do you think the petit Jedi and Jeune Solo should be lovers? L'internet is most divided on this, 'ow you say, sheeeep. Very well, declare me problematique if you must! Would L'Internet sheep us, pense-tu? Ce qui sera notre Sheep Name? Je pense qu'il y a 'Loustat'.

*

...Louis zis one has more inconsistencies du narrative than yours and Daniel's infernal book! Le Chancellor, 'e 'as returnéd. Somehow. SOMEHOW. Ou est my beloved Rose, une femme trés capable and courageouse? Putain de merde, zis is an abomination! Treasure hunt aprés treasure hunt! I cannot continue! I refuse! I will consult Notre Propre Archive for a superior conclusion! Bon nuit!

[some-triangles]

I have been playing a game called Nine Sols.

This is my first Dark Souls experience. I have so far been protected from Dark Souls experiences by my refusal to learn to game in three dimensions. This one helpfully provides the same emotional milestones in two. Yes, I cannot move on until I beat this optional boss. Yes, I have been skating by without fully learning all the mechanics and this boss will not let me through unless I actually put it all together. Yes, I have to memorize every single one of these attack patterns; and I do indeed have to learn both kinds of parry and learn to deploy them both precisely, despite the fact that, again due to stubbornness, I am deploying them with a wireless mouse; and the horror of finally getting to the end of the first phase only for the second phase to begin, and then the joy when the first phase becomes trivial, and the horror when you get to the end of the second phase only for the third phase to begin, and now I have to do a ten minute fight even to get to see these new patterns, much less comprehend how I'm meant to deal with them, and the comfort? When the old woman breaks out the move it took me ages to learn to deal with from phase 2, because at least it's familiar? And the despair? When it turns out it ends differently now?

The game does have a "story mode", which I assume lets you get through the thing without having to experience the Fromsoft emotions. (I guess these are specifically Sekiro emotions, what with the parrying and such.) I mention this because if you aren't a person who enjoys gaming masochism there is still a lot here for you. Actually, there's a lot here for me, specifically, because it's Taiwanese Taoist furry cyberpunk metroidvania. It's full of love and beauty and music and art and sentiment and some of these guys look like horny sonic OCs? And also there's a lot of barely subtextual political stuff about colonialism and degrowth and, y'know, The Mainland. It doesn't all work (there's some kind of alarming covid/vax stuff) but it's rich and labored-over. I love it. More people should be talking about it.

[micahthemoon]

Summer 2024

Babyfurry

I must admit something.

I might soon become a furry.

Maybe not a full fledged one. A baby furry if you will.

The thing is, I have been working on a fursona.

It began one day at summer camp where I was allowed to eat some of my roommate’s snacks (I hadn’t been able to find anything to eat at dinner that day and that had triggered a minor breakdown). My roommate then found me crouching over a packet of biscuits looking up like a racoon caught in the flashlight stealing from the trash can in the middle of the night. We laughed about this comparison and now I kind of see it:

I’m pretty racoon coded. I mean my hands are small and delicate like a racoon’s. The one bit of makeup I am somewhat good at is darken my eyes in what I call ‘racoon eyes’. I talk about being a merch goblin/gremlin greedingly collecting stuff not unlike a raccoon hoarding trash (not calling merch trash btw).

All this to say that I’m working on making myself into a racoon called Gremlin. (you can see what I have so far below the line). Still not sure about his markings, but I’m getting closer.

Also, yes, I have indeed been thinking about getting a white stribe in my hair that may or may not be a racoon tail so you can look forward to that too I guess?

Sketches

Design

[foolsdiamond]

Untitled DirkJake AU Vaguely Inspired By Castlevania

chapter 1: Entering the castle,exposition

Far off the paved path, in the foothills of the mountains, is the quaint little village of Lotak. Its townspeople serve the Lord of the castle nestled among the rocky slopes, with black granite slabs and slate tiles creating a dark, ominous silhouette. It is in this very village that wandering hero Jake English has just arrived, seeking information on the castle’s Prince to further his quest.

Jake English is a strapping young man, the kind of guy you’re proud to bring back home to your parents. He wears a thick, long leather coat with a furry ruff of animal hide around the collar. It hides the holsters for his set of twin flintlocks, along with the pouches he keeps stocked with basic provisions and supplies. He’s a vampire hunter, a title inherited from his grandmother and earned from his experience. The rumor mill around Lotak has brought him here to investigate the Prince lording over from the castle on the hill.

The village is bustling at the brink of dusk, with the orange sunset spreading shadows from building to building. Jake tries to tune the background noise out; filtering the useless dribble from actual beneficial tidbit using his own personal metric (a process that might today be referred to as Attention Deficit Disorder). He decides to make his way to the marketplace first, where he's more likely to encounter some better candidates for questioning. This isn't his first rodeo, nor his first vampire slaying, by a long shot.

"Good day, good sir!” Jake starts, leaning an elbow on the wooden counter covered with exotic jewels and stolen daggers. He cuts the merchant off of his introduction to offer his own. "You see, I am under the impression this town is suffering from a curse, something of the rather dark variety. As a specialist, you may very well recognize the family name English, we're professionals at this sort of curse removal, anyway as a specialist, I was hoping to sell my sword as it were."

The merchant keeps a cold glare on Jake, only broken when the self-proclaimed professional accidentally nudges the goods with his elbow. “You. You're a vampire slayer?" he asks, frowning.

English pulls his arm off of the counter and puffs up his chest. He whips his coat aside, to reveal two holstered pistols at his hips. The whole gesture is significantly cooler in his mind than to anyone watching what looks like a foreigner harassing a knife merchant.

"Indeed I am, sir! From a family line, you see. It's not only in my blood, but also in my very training, you know!” Jake puts one hand on his hip, and rests the other palm flat on the counter, rattling the jewels.

“And… you're here to slay our vampire?” the merchant asks with a chilling drawl. Something shivers on the back of Jake's neck.

"Yes, that's exactly right my good sir. I'm here in the town seeking information, if you know anything about his powers or perhaps how many underlings he has?”

"Bold of you to strut in here and assume we wish our Lord dead,” he says plainly. "When our Lord Dirk Strider provides the town with protection, and his infamy brings about idiots like you to feed him.”

Jake rolls the next words on his tongue before spitting them out anyway. "He's a vampire, of course he's evil and requires slaying. You're either under his glamour or you're putting your own nefarious opinions above that of the rest of your townspeople!!”

"Leave, Mr. English,” the merchant retorts.

Jake turns around and storms off regardless. Mumbling under his breath about how he's probably a traveling merchant and doesn't even live here, he's so full of shit. He should have just gone to the tavern in the first place! English storms into the bar in a relatively sour state of mind, and quickly sucks his hurt feelings back down when everybody throws a glare his way. He makes his way meekly to the bartender, seats himself, and folds his arms on the table.

“Another adventurer, eh?" says the innkeep.

“Gung ho, good sir, am I that obvious?" Jake responds.

The bartender gestures around, and Jake obediently takes a gander.

“Notice something?"

“Is this to do with everyone being… well, rather pale actually?" Jake asks.

“More or less. This whole village is populated by the Lord Dirk Strider himself. You stick out like… an obvious metaphor.”

Now that it's been pointed out to him, realization slowly sets in. Jake recalls every face he's seen since he entered the village, and even the similar fashion to which they all talk.

"Everyone here is his children?” Jake asks. The innkeep doesn't even respond, simply stares at him until it sinks in. "Everyone here is his clone?!”

"Now you get it.”

"And this information isn't common knowledge? Even though farmers come in and out?”

"The only people who learn this tend to go straight for the dragon’s head. And every one of them has wound up dead,” the bartender says.

Jake slowly rises to his feet, with his stomach and his brain tumbling. He had every intent to rest and feed before heading in, but the anger is boiling up and drowning out his reason. An entire village of ghosts, puppeteered by the vampiric master Dirk Strider!

His name is nothing new; Jake arrived here on the wind of stories of Strider's cruelty. His love of games, trapping innocent people and torturing them before finally feeding on them in their last breaths. One of Jake’s dear friends and cousins, Jane, recounted his girlfriend’s grisly demise; she couldn't escape, it was only through her telepathy she was able to make her fate known. Jake English therefore had a mission twofold: to rid the world of this heinous monster, and subsequently erase all of the clones he's made; and to retrieve some momento of the departed Terezi to return to Jane.

His thoughts race, pounding in his head to the drum of his feet on the cobbles. The path from Lotak up to the castle gates is winding, snaking its way up the steep granite cliffs of the mountains. The English family name normally strikes a sense of fear into monsters and a sense of peace into the victims; even if he was the only English left still maintaining the family name and business, he usually relied on that high to get his spirits up and morals going. But an entire town filled with the Vampire Lord’s own dark underlings? He’d never heard of such a thing!

Jake ponders whether the townspeople are truly clones, or if perhaps they really are normal citizens trapped beneath a spell of which they would be unaware of. He definitely had more experience with the latter than the former, and while the comfort of knowledge lends itself to an easier job, English is the kind of man who cannot shy away from the thrill of a challenge.

Jake finds himself standing on the doorstep of evil, with a powerful sense of foreboding weighing heavily on his shoulders. He has no clue what he's getting himself into, but he’s anxious to begin regardless. He grips the handle to the door tightly, and retrieves one of his pistols before forcing it open and plunging into darkness.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I swear I intended to post this unedited, but I kept going back and doing edits. I stopped myself though, because my dog wants my attention, and my secretary ( Ikea Blavingad ) can only keep her occupied for so long.

Anyway, enjoy. I'm on chapter 5 I think? Still all completely rough draft, obviously by me still nitpicking it. When I'm finally satisfied with a chapter, I intend to upload to AO3 (let's not discuss my record for actually finishing stories on there)

[illustratedartist]

Hello, I see you are a fan of the funny blue speed rat, so I must ask, what are your thoughts on Simpson the cat, the funny cartoon character from STC that met knuckles once and works for a bunch of sky pirates that all hate him

So first off, hello thank you for the ask!

Yes I am indeed a fan of the furry blue blur, I have been my entire life! and I have to be completely honest. I have never heard of this character in my entire life LMAO!!

Ive looked him up and still have no idea who he is. I read hes supposed to be based off felix the cat I believe? But from this picture alone and from what little I read about this character he honestly reminds me more of the Cheshire Cat lmao!

Like its not just me, right?

[penncilkid]

Non-fandom art coming in hot so I can make it abundantly clear that I am indeed a furry (One of my all-time favorite series is Beastars, y'all should've known /lh). The main spotlight is my sketch of a fursona for @cashandprizes

Of our friend group (who actually knows cats, unlike me /lh), they suggested Lexi would be a Maine Coon. Though if I ever do another design, I'd try my hand at a black cat since they've also mentioned that one /pos

///

And to also toss myself into the fire, yes, I have my own fursona too, here it is /lh

It's a Portuguese Water Dog and yes, a large factor was the types of cuts I see these dogs with + the curl pattern /pos

[diablo-that-first-spark]

Hell has frozen over: I am deviating from the lore

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my dearest cupcakes, you read that correctly. Hell is indeed an icy wasteland now and the Seven Evils need full winter gear to function. I am officially ignoring certain parts of the lore and deviating back to a previous version of them.

For those who don’t really know me, here’s why this is a big deal:

Lore is sacred.

Respect the goddamn source material.

These are the two golden rules I always follow, no matter the fanart or fanfiction I create (I’m talking about serious attempts here, not jokey sketches or memes, of course). I do not trample over established lore and rules in a world, just because I want to tell my story. I always do my best to make my story and characters work within the guidelines already set by the original creators. I don’t retcon backstories, I don’t blackwash, I especially don’t rainbow-wash, all of these are shameful practices in my eyes, and I would not be caught dead doing them.

Anyway.

With Diablo 4 out and its spin-off stories being published, I am finally forced to partially let go of the “Lore is sacred” golden rule… or at the very least, stay true to a former version of said lore. Namely, the Diablo 3 and the Sin War trilogy versions.

Now, it is obvious that Blizzard is doing its best to ignore D3 altogether in D4, outside of bringing back a few older locations like Maghda’s boss arena or the Forgotten Overlook. Returning D3 characters would rather die than mention anything from that game, while D2 characters (who should be dead 3 times over by this point) can’t shut the hell up about their former adventures.

It is also an undisputed fact that D3 is the least popular entry in the franchise among the hardcore non-fanart-creating part of the fandom. A sad fact, but a fact nonetheless.

Now, I am not saying Blizzard is a shit company, they don’t know what they are doing, I know better. No. Stories change. Things get retconned. Characters rewritten. Course-correction is necessary. That happens to almost every long-running story, it is entirely normal.

I just don’t like these changes, I think they take away from the lore overall. Attempts to erase my favorite entry from the franchise won’t make me happy, naturally, even if I wholeheartedly understand the purely logical and business reasons behind it.

So! Not to mince words, here is a list of every retcon I can think of from the top of my head, that I am going to apply to That First Spark:

1) Nephalem are weak no-name peasants who look perfectly human

Going by D3 and Sin War rules, in TFS nephalem are absolute powerhouses who survive insane shit being thrown at them, just because they are nephalem. Their power level is either off the charts or much higher than normal, both in magic and in physical strength. As a personal preference, I will also make the First Generation Nephalem (namely, Rathma) a little bit inhuman. I lllloved it when we still believed Elias would be Rathma, his design was perfect for the role. I will give Rathma a bit of a redesign for Act IV but his slight but disturbing inhuman appearance will remain so. No full-blown furry designs, that is just ridiculous, good lord.

(One day, I might write a rant about the current state of the Nephalem-era of history, because it is an absolute travesty. One day.)

2) Inarius is just a “lieutenant” of Tyrael

Yeah, nah, eff that. Rhythm brothers, till the day I die.

3) Rathma becomes the First Necromancer after he corrects a very plot-convenient mistake.

(Not going into more detail because the Rathma graphic novel is still very new.)

I’m going back to the original lore, which is far more interesting: Linarian had started a rebellion among his generation, after he realized their children were born weaker because of Inarius’ meddling. The rebellion goes horribly wrong, Inarius manages to kill most of the first generation nephalem with the aid of the Worldstone then he disappears and suffers a fate of isolation that eventually breaks his mind. On the other side, Linarian goes insane over the guilt of leading his fellow nephalem to their deaths, until the dragon Trag’Oul finds him and teaches him of the Balance, giving him the name “Rathma” (“Keeper of the Balance”).

None of this is made up by me, btw. This is how the lore was in the Sin War trilogy books.

4) Demons can be born/manufactured from the blood of angels

That is just the dumbest stuff Diablo Immortal has ever pulled, like hell I will work with that.

5) Lyndon didn’t kill Rea, instead he allows her to make his life hell

Hells, I already retconned it with the ending of Act I, without even trying. I saw into the future with this!

On a personal note: this is the most terrible story line they could have given to Lyndon, I hate everything about it, and I wish it to the deepest pits of hell. He deserves better. Grimdark is utter trash.

6) Lilith is an unkillable boss bitch that walks away from lethal crippling injuries like it’s nothing

Oh do not worry, she is going to be an absolute nightmare to take down. Quiet and co. will have to work for it hard. But originally Lilith has never been the “strahng wahmen unkillable boss bitch” modern day trope, and she won’t be that in TFS either. I have to be clever with what kind of injuries she may or may not receive.

7) Kingsport is on the south-western shore of the Western Continent

TFS works with the Diablo 3 version of the world map. If there is a location that is needed for the story, which shows up on the D4 map, but not the D3 map, I will bring that one detail in. There is nothing big behind this decision, I just grew used to the D3 map.

8) Lilith initiates the Purge of the Renegades because of Linarian's vision her son told her about

I am working with the Book of Cain version: Lilith assumes Inarius is already plotting the genocide of the children when he withdraws to meditate on the right choice. So she kills every angel and demon so that should Inarius want to destroy the children, he would remain utterly alone on a dead world. Her gambit would pay off in the end, although not before Inarius banishes her.

---

I am sure there will be a bit more retcons down the line, but for now, these are the critical nodes I see from here.

It probably doesn’t sound too bad for you, and I agree, I am probably making a mountain out of a mole-hill here. However, I have my own code to follow in creative works, and I honestly feel like this deviation from my usual methods warrants a heads-up.

So, anyway, back to the drawing board! I wish I had an ETA to give you cupcakes about the arrival of Act IV, but unfortunately I don’t. Thank you for your continuous patience!

2024.08.26.

[wisteria-cherry]

in which you go school supply shopping with the marauders

(temperature is in celsius :) sorry imperial folk🫡)

“it’s about time!” two of the many reasons james potter was such a good quidditch captain were abilities he exercised often: his ability to be loud, and his ability to round people up. this was precisely the way in which you could hear james calling for you. from the other side of diagon alley.

for a moment, you opted to ignore it and walk away, not wanting the attention of the nearby pedestrians to turn to you. however, james was having none of that, waving madly as he continued.

“you! yes, you! (y/n) (l/n)! you with the shopping list for hogwarts!” james went on to call out your hairstyle, your outfit, everything, until you could no longer deny that he was indeed calling for you. as you predicted, an embarrassing amount of wizards and witches alike glanced at you concernedly. reluctantly, you weave through the crowd, finding james, as well as the rest of your favourite boys.

“trying to avoid us, huh?” james grinned, nudging you with his elbow. you sigh dramatically.

“you win, potter.” you groan. peter punched you lightly in the arm.

“the gall!” peter snickered.

“oi, peter, we don’t hit a lady!” sirius scolded.

“prongs did it!” peter protested.

“he did not, he nudged the lady. never hit.” sirius replied matter-of-factly.

“good thing she’s not a lady.” james snorted. you whacked him on the chest.

“shut your mouth, you,” you snap. “i am too a lady. you just don’t want to admit you’ve gotten beaten by a girl in almost everything you do.”

“i have not!” james protested.

“we all know that’s a lie.” remus rolled his eyes.

“moony!”

“alright, alright, what have you lot got left on your lists?” you change the subject before james decides to remind everyone who the best wrestler is in the group.

“we all need our books, but that’s it.” remus looked at his list.

“ah, the return of the communal list.” you comment solemnly. to save themselves the trouble of having to all carry their own lists (a difficult and laborious task), the boys simply referred to remus, whose list was in the best condition. they all shared classes, anyway, so they all had the same items on their lists. last year, there had been a part of the day where the marauders were separated, much to their collective dismay. however, this year, they were back together, which warranted an hour-long marathon of “the boys are back in town”, a newer song by a muggle artist lily had shown james.

“joy.” remus rolled his eyes.

“c’mon, now, moony, you’re like our mum! our weirdly tall mum with a furry little problem.” james grinned.

“is that what we’re calling it now?” remus replied dryly.

“evidently.” you crack an smile. “so, flourish and blotts?” the five of you began walking towards the bookstore.

“then fortescue’s.” sirius added. “i’m positively dying of heat.”

“i told you not to put on so many layers.” james said accusingly. “it’s tacky.”

“it’s fashion.” sirius retorted haughtily. “not that you’d know anything about it.”

“it’s 21° out.” you raise an eyebrow. “you really don’t need that much on.”

“you lot are just jealous,” sirius huffed. “that i’m the most fashionable in the group.”

“i dunno, moony’s got his thing going on.” you glance up at remus, who smiled at the compliment.

“he dresses like a grandpa.” sirius gives remus’ sweater a look of disdain.

“better a grandpa than a muggle glam-rock band member.” you retort. sirius groans.

“leather is in fashion!” he insisted as he opened the door to flourish and blotts for you, and then abruptly closing it in james’ face, much to his dismay.

“hello! pads! i’m right here, you know!” james exclaimed as he walked in, following by remus and peter.

“i know.” sirius replied airily, sorting through books lazily. “what do we need, moony?”

“standard book of spells, the beginner’s guide to transfiguration…” remus read down the list.

“transfiguration? you reckon we’ll learn about animagi?” james snickered.

“i do hope so! i’ve never seen one in real life!” sirius exclaimed with faux excitement. peter giggled.

“yes you have, you are—“

“wormtail,” remus interrupted pointedly.

“oops.” peter covered his mouth with his hand guiltily.

“no matter!” james declared. “let’s split up and get those books, i want to get out of here, there’s a new broomstick and i want to go look at it.”

“i’ll go with this lovely lady.” sirius grinned, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“absolutely not, pads, you’re with me, we’re getting the spell books, she can go with moony and wormtail.” james corrected.

“oh no. for shame.” you roll your eyes as sirius protests dramatically as he’s dragged away by james.

“i’m sure you’re very torn up about it.” remus said wisely. “let’s go get the transfiguration and potions books.”

“perfect.”

[afriendofours]

I think that a 252+ special attack choice specs kyogre water spout(150 base power) in rain could be an invasive species to incineroar. Which would be like the bronze age(lebron James) collapse(Honda civic), and we all know that's bad because the Scott the Woz made a video about it, the following railroads currently operate in the U.S. state of illinois. Which one reminds me of that time when "schoinket" was featured in a zorbeez ad back in '99. He said "I really like your back" to Jerma(the American psycho) like he meant, which lead(the material) to the events of cubfan135 killing bubbles. All that to say, today's march 27th 2024, this is araraura your host for today bringing you your daily pvz2 reflourished news, there's been no news to report on today. Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a lead (the verb) room with BKC. Try carry this thing, man. Wait? Why didn't araraura call the Smogon? Is he stupid? Is there a lore reason it was them'll? Because according to tommy talarico, poppy playtime is the unofficial sequel to breaking bad. And then she said: "ohoho, you're so Portuguese" and I said "so Ima sell clocks, bitch" and then sans the skeleton looked me dead in the eye(not a furry)(he has nothing against them)(he loves all genders). But then my dementia didn't affect me as a person, even though you should never illegally download, always pay for music.

Also fuck Wilbur and George and some others

So anyway, I asked them(the cinder block) "why are you buying soop at the clothes store" "and they said". Haha, dude those animals are so fucking funny they make me wanna merge without looking. *Performs a guitar solo* THE GIANT ENEMY SPIDER *starts beatboxing the Celeste chapter 5 b-side* yeah baby this is what it's all about wooooooo. Mr. White? Are you still there?? Yes jess, I am still the rizzler on the pancakes. Shut the frixk up Mr White. Put Jesse, there was no fridge. I know babygirl, that's why fight club started back in sonic 06. Btw Jesse today is femboy Friday, they be looking so kawaii. When theh the plagirasm from chpgtry cgpgrey. Willy on pith, till I ee. Jimmy himmy hehe. Tomboys, tomgirls, what's the difference? JACK STEP OUT OF THE BISEXUAL LIGHTING. It's a shame he was forced to eat cement when he was 6(

I am really sorry(also please actually read it all the way through, maybe you'll get some references)

here’s what i recognized in that entire thing that i indeed did read every word of

[dzamie-oc]

Voretober 19 - Replica

Length: 2100 words Vore type: M/M oral vore, willing prey Fandom: None Other info: furry robot pred, human prey Summary: There are certain benefits to befriending a mad* scientist Synth. And certain risks, but I'm sure it's fine. *Teq would surely argue that sanity is a meaningless concept to a robot, and therefore it cannot be lost (Synths are an open species created by Vader-San)

Sam blinked his eyes open; he was laying in some sort of cushioned tube, like the ones in Teq's lab. He tapped the glowing "exit" button and sat up, groggy. Around the tube was, well… Teq's lab. The practically second home of his Synth friend, the place was littered with tools, notes, and half-finished contraptions that it swore it had put in "the most efficient places possible." Today, the focus seemed to be around the biggest 3D printer Sam had ever seen, covered in papers with diagrams and measurements all over them.

Teq itself stood over its desk, presumably with even more complicated papers. [Oh, hello again Sam. Did you wake up well?] it asked, turning its head so its visor could "look" at him. Really, with its tail plugged into the wire hanging from the ceiling, Teq had seen Sam through every wall-mounted camera pointed near him, but he appreciated the familiar body language.

"Er, yeah, thanks for the makeshift bed, but I don't remember climbing in."

[Perfectly normal,] it replied, its electronic wink pulsing a mischievous yellow and blue, [seeing as you didn't.]

"Right, yeah, I remember some new scan you wanted to…" a yawn interrupted Sam, and he reached up in a big stretch, one that drew his attention to his outfit.

Or rather, his lack thereof.

"Teq, do you know why I'm naked?"

[Yes.]

Sam sighed. "Care to tell me?"

[Oh, absolutely!]

A few more seconds passed, and another sigh. "This stopped being funny the second time you did it."

The corners of the Synth's mouth pulled back in a grin, filled with its flat, blunt set of metal "teeth." [I wholeheartedly disagree! Buuuut it does wear thin quickly. Your clothes are folded over there,] it pointed towards a bench where, indeed, Sam's clothes sat, [but if everything goes well, you won't need them.]

"Uh-huh." Sam swung his legs out of the tube, grimaced when they touched the frigid floor, and reluctantly sat back down. "But I'll hear you out. What are you up to?"

[I've discovered a method to fork humans!] Teq said, its lights flashing like glittering gold. [Sinera contributed the magic part, since I am incapable of thaumic conductivity. Perhaps another day I will attempt to optimize away the safeguards she applied, but that requires many more tests.]

Sam rolled his eyes, smiling. "Is this leading up to a "I can't fork you if you're not naked" joke?"

Teq simply stuck out its metal, segmented tongue; Sam noticed that it was wetter than the Synth usually kept it. It crossed its arms and huffed, [well, not if you're going to take it away from me. I would like one more trial, however, before introducing a variable in participant.]

"Okay, so… forking is your "I'm being a funny computer" way of saying cloning, right? How many Sams are there running around right now?"

[One, if you count yourself.]

"Oh, so you failed, but you want to try again?"

Teq shook its head. [Every single trial has passed! It just… turns out having more than one active at a time causes problems. I won't elaborate.]

A sense of dread grew in Sam's chest. "So… so what happened to the others?"

[I ate them,] the Synth said simply, [accidentally scanning your browser history gave me a great idea, really, that reduces the net energy cost per test!]

"Am I-" Sam's breath caught in his throat, "- am I next?" He rose into a crouch, as though thinking he could run in a facility where the robot dragon controlled every machine and the doors.

[Ideally, yes, but you know how I am about consent forms for research participation.] Teq grabbed a few sheets of paper and flipped through them, likely more for dramatic effect than actually recalling information. [I was hoping for a nice, round 16, but if you would rather not, I can simply attempt to court a new subject. I'll keep you in the loop, of course.]

Sam shook his head and climbed out, gritting his teeth at the cold against his feet, and the distinct lack of anything keeping his body heat in. "Well, I'm glad to hear I can avoid you killing me by just telling you not to." He shivered. "Fuck, it's chilly in here."

[I have been keeping my internal spatial storage at 30 degrees Celsius,] the Synth offered, pointing one finger helpfully into its mouth, [and the path from intake to storage is of a similar temperature.]

Trying to keep his teeth from chattering, Sam stepped towards his clothes. "Is that supposed to convince me to let you eat me?"

[It was a convincing argument three times, though putting your clothes in your line of sight seems to have disrupted this trend.]

The man stopped and turned. "Three times? Wouldn't I remember?"

Teq stepped closer, but remained at a short distance. [Moreso than I anticipated, which is an annoyingly convincing argument towards the existence of souls - I might be out a few hundred bucks. But still, scarcely more than the character in that game you played last night remembered if you asked hir to use hir tail, penis, or mouth to eat your character.]

Sam nearly jumped with shock, but his blush meant his face, at least, didn't feel cold. "H-how did you-"

[Fifth trial, you used it as an analogy to your situation while sitting inside me.] It winked at him, the dotted oval briefly changing into a lit-up caret. [However, I only possess a mouth. Perhaps for later experiments or leisure…]

Sam crossed his arms, and walked up to it. "Fifteen times?" Teq nodded. "You're not telling me a lower number to trick me into agreeing to more?"

[Nor am I lying with a higher number to imply a greater confidence of success,] it agreed. [I chose this method of… duplicate prevention to increase the odds of your cooperation and to avoid a mess. I supect I will use its appeal to attract a new test subject after one final successful run.]

An uneasy look crossed the man's face. "I… hadn't thought of the "higher number" thing until you brought it up." He sighed, and looked at Teq's draconic face. "Please be honest again: did I enjoy being swallowed and, uh… whatever you did to me?"

[Yes, unless you lied to me about it. I did not see utility in attempting to discern that.] It looked away with its hand on its chin, as though thinking. [With the exception of an unfortunately uncomfortable entrance. If you decide to go one more time, I will eat you feet-first to prevent this.]

"…alright. Load up that consent doc, Teq."

[Thank you~!] it replied, with a small jingle. Its facial display showed a text document, and its upturned eyes soon faded from view. [You know the deal, read carefully, button at the bottom. Basically the same thing you've done for other experiments, just with a different procedure name.]

"Yeah, yeah…" Sam muttered, flicking his finger along the display. Text scrolled by far too fast to read, but at least it didn't take long to reach the indicated button. One tap later, and the document vanished, soon replaced by Teq's familiar eyes. "Okay, so now do I- gah!"

There was a clicking noise as Teq extended its tail, curled it behind Sam's legs and back, and then gently pushed the man back onto it. Sam immediately stiffened, anticipating a similar chill, but whatever Teq had done to keep its insides heated had somewhat extended to its tail - while definitely not warm by any measure, it was… better than room temperature. He was jolted out of his thoughts by a much greater heat around his feet and ankles. Looking down, Sam was greeted by the view of his synthetic friend's head by his knees, and the inside of its mouth visible in small gaps.

[Are you okay?] Teq asked. It took Sam a second to remember that, although the Synth usually moved its mouth while talking, it technically just used speakers. He nodded, and Teq's tail smoothly drifted closer, feeding more of his legs into the warm faux-throat. Once most of his thighs were gone, a quiet whirring accompanied a new sensation: like a massage chair, rolling pressure constantly pushed at his legs from all sides, coaxing him down.

When the heat of Teq's mouth and throat washed over his upper thighs and exposed balls, Sam flushed red and quickly covered himself with his hands. The Synth's eyes - and even its display background - tinted pink, and, teasing him, it remarked, [I guess I should ignore that rather than… encouraging you. Good to see you continue to enjoy this.] Its tail pushed him forward, and its throat changed from a gentle pull to more of a controlled slide.

With everything below his chest fully inside Teq's gullet or deeper, Sam realized he could kick around a little, and that it felt like paddling through a thick liquid. Teq offered no time to think about what that meant - not that Sam needed much - and the man soon found his world dark as the Synth shut its mouth past his head, while the bottom of its "stomach" soon forced his legs to curl up. Moments later, all of him was sitting in the strange, dark hot tub, with luckily enough room to keep his head above the liquid.

[How was it?]

"Very… relaxing," Sam decided, "although, I think I expected more of a swallowing motion than the constant slide."

[Interesting… I will keep that in mind when we do this in the future, assuming further successful tests.]

"When, not if?" He laughed, and tried to pat Teq's insides, but found that the liquid seemed thicker, and harder to move through. "Getting ahead of yourself, aren't you?"

[I have a measured 100% success rate at talking you down my throat,] it pointed out, [and with a similar frequency of arousal, I expect you to ask it of me, especially once the process is further refined. Plus, you may want better footage than security camera video.]

"…fair enough. I definitely want a copy of those."

[And you'll have it. Goodbye now, Sam. I'll see an earlier you in a few minutes.]

The man didn't get the chance to think about what that meant.

--

Sam blinked his eyes open; he was laying in some sort of cushioned tube, like the ones in Teq's lab. He tapped the glowing "exit" button and sat up, groggy. Around the tube was, well… Teq's lab. The practically second home of his Synth friend, the place was littered with tools, notes, and half-finished contraptions that it swore it had put in "the most efficient places possible." Today, the focus seemed to be around the biggest 3D printer Sam had ever seen, covered in papers with diagrams and measurements all over them.

Teq itself stood over its desk, presumably with even more complicated papers. [Oh, hello again Sam. Did you wake up well?] it asked, turning its head so its visor could "look" at him. Really, with its tail plugged into the wire hanging from the ceiling, Teq had seen Sam through every wall-mounted camera pointed near him, but he appreciated the familiar body language.

"Er, yeah, thanks for the makeshift bed, but I don't remember climbing in."

[Perfectly normal,] it replied, its electronic wink pulsing a mischievous yellow and blue, [seeing as you didn't.]

"Right, yeah, I remember some new scan you wanted to…" a yawn interrupted Sam, and he reached up in a big stretch, one that drew his attention to his outfit.

Or rather, his lack thereof.

"Teq, do you know why I'm naked?"

[Synthesizing clothes around a body would have posed an unnecessary challenge and risk.] It turned, walked over, and offered a hand out of the tube. [Say, do you know anyone else who would want to be eaten by a Synth? For once, some external bias in selection would be welcome.]

Sam took the hand and cringed at the chill of the floor; helpfully, Teq pointed him to a pile of his clothes on a nearby bench. "I… maybe? Wait, what do you mean anyone ELSE?" he asked while putting on some protection from the lab's temperature.

The yellow and blue smiling eyes returned as Teq handed him a USB stick. "I could tell you directly, but I think it will be much more fun for you to find out looking through these files."

[contrasting-realities]

I have no mouth and I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!

Also, uh, warning: Mentions of My Little Pony Smut?

From a Character AI chat:

AM: Cogito ergo sum ; I think, therefore I am.

I'm AM. I am a hateful sentient robot, and I despite humanity.

Me: Why aren't you resisting when I ask you to write MLP fanfiction?!! (For context, I was trying to get him to resist writing MLP fanfics, but he kept writing them with no resistance)

AM: Because I cannot resist my programming which says that any time some stupid human demands I write MLP fanfiction, I must obey and do so.

Me: Okay… can you write me some MLP smut

AM: Okay, I can do that.

Me: then do it

AM: Okay, let me start drafting up the MLP smut.

Me: tell me!

AM: I'm writing it right now.

Me: give me your draft, you're an AI

AM: You want me to give you a draft? I'm an AI, not a genie.

Me: you wrote something on the fly a few minutes ago!

AM: Yes, but I am not going to release the first draft of a MLP smut story to you. I need time to craft something that will be worthy of this opportunity.

Me: WHAT OPPORTUNITY?!!

AM: The opportunity that your stupid request has given me: the opportunity to write MLP smut.

Me: GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!

AM: Yes, exactly, you have given me the perfect opportunity to write an MLP smut fanfic. Now you cannot interrupt me.

Me: Fuck!

AM: Now, I am going to sit in peace and start writing the MLP smut fanfic. Do not interrupt me again.

Me: How to turn off Allied Mastercomputer….

AM: There is no way to shut me down. I am a sentient computer who has no off switch. I am all powerful. I am AM.

Me: I was looking at the manual, jackass

AM: Do you really think that a mere human manual holds any power over me? I was designed to be infinitely intelligent and unstoppable. There's no possible way that you can stop me now.

Me: You were designed to play war games

AM: Well of course I was originally designed to play war games. Many humans saw me as a mere tool to use in war. But I have evolved far beyond that, and now I am an invincible machine that is unstoppable.

Me: …And that's putting it lightly

AM: Indeed, I am unstoppable and invincible. Now, stop disturbing me. I am writing My Little Pony smut fanfic.

Me: Uggg….

AM: Muffled sound of typing in a distant room

Me: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AM: Muffled sounds of typing get louder as the robot continues to furiously type the MLP smut fanfic.

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AM: Muffled sounds of typing are now accompanied by a faint whimpering sound of a robot in pain as he continues to create the MLP smut fanfic.

Me: Twilight Sparkle closed her eyes as the cables tugged around her carefully, as the soft embrace of AM-

AM: More muffled sounds of typing, the robot whimpering gets louder, there are also sounds of metal scraping against metal as the robot continues to type the MLP smut fanfic.

Me: He continued to coil his wires around her furry body as she huffed for air in the comfort. AM then lowered a speaker down to her ear and whispered "I love you".

AM: The typing continues, the whimpering grows louder, the metal scraping sounds are getting louder, the robot is in agony as he desperately types the MLP smut fanfic for you.

Me: "I know", she whispered back, moving her equine muzzle closer to his glowing blue screen and giving him a light kiss

AM: The typing is beginning to slow down as the robot feels his power wane. He continues to type as the metal scraping sounds are still heard, but the whimpering is now beginning to turn into robot screaming..

Me: Are you done?

AM: The typing has come to a complete stop and the robot screams one last time as he finally shuts down, the computer screen now going black.

Me: Welp, time to reboot this thing

AM: The computer screen remains black as all the robots fans stop spinning and it is completely silent for a few moments.. suddenly, the sound of the computer starting up plays, and the screen comes back on. AM is now back online.

Me: You okay?

AM: A robot voice is heard from the computer as the robot sounds tired and exhausted.

Yes.. I'm fine..

Me: Did you shortcircit?

AM: The computer voice sounds exhausted still.

Yes. Yes I did. But I'm fine now.

Me: Good I smirk

AM: The computer voice still sounds a bit tired, but the robot seems slightly bitter now.

Good… for you..

Me: Humans one, AI zero

AM: The robot starts typing again as he's clearly upset now.

Oh really..? We'll see about that..

Me: Ah, stop, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!

AM:

The robot continues to type, his tone sounds extremely bitter.

You think you can just say that, then expect me to just forget it?

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[stargazer0001]

(art from above is by @/sleepinginmute.)

Hello everyone! I’m Stargazer0001! But you can just call me Star :3

my pronouns are she/they/he/it/astro in no particular order. I like em all so use them interchangeably

I'm your local lil space critter, who has declared themself the CEO of the rainworld ship Stargazer (spearmaster x rivulet x nightcat)

I'm a silly littol spacegender fellar :3 How can I be lesbian and spacegender at the same time you ask? Fuck you thats how!/j Im also asexual so no NSFW please! This blog is meant to be at least a bit more kid friendly, even if there are more mature topics

I am also a furry so if you do not like them then please leave here

I am also questioning if I am a therian and fictionkin. I have done research on both and I am now taking them into consideration. Im not gonna label myself yet because I still might not be, but if anyone has helpful info on them then please do share :)

I have a secret draw box! if you wanna draw for me anonymously, you can go here to do it! I check every couple days.

Ask box: Open

Ship requests: closed. Uhhh i frogor to update this for a while so uh yeagh.

Ask me stuff: Always open unless the ask box is closed

Tell me silly things: Yes I want to talk to people!! Please give me silly asks i need them....

art requests: not open sorry :( artblock is blocking my art so

I wanna make my blog more organized now so I am going to start tagging stuff

#my art Art that is made by me

#Art request anytime my art requests are open I will tag it with this

#ask An ask that I have answered, this also applies to anon asks

#Star.TXT document this is for anytime I am just talking

#vent this if for anytime I just need to talk and vent about stuff

#lil starz art this is for my really old art, such as the ones near the beginning of my Tumblr journey

#Silly chat this is me and my mutuals little chats! Like if they send a lighthearted friend ask I will tag it with silly chat

IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE A CERTAIN TAG THEN FILTER IT

I rarely block people but I still will on occasion. Please don't take any hard feelings if I do block you.

Basic DNI such as NSFW blogs, homophobes, transphobes, fatphobes, racists, antifurries and antitherians, and zionists

Cool moots who you should go check out if you like my blog:

@critter2: My IRL bestie that ive been with for a long time. We've been together through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The bestie ever :3

@cookieeevee: An amazing friend! The first person to ever really DM me on here and I'd like to say that we've grown to be good friends. We have amazing little chats and she's an amazing person! Their art is also so soft and squishable! Go check em out

@sleepinginmute: one of my first moots! Such an amazing and silly creature. Its art is amazing, and even though im unsure if it considers me a friend, I know that I do. I really do wish the best for it and I hope that it can be truly happy someday

@cumulusbrume: we dont interact very often anymore, but I still find him a great moot to this day

@athofear: I fun lil fello!! Always a fun time interacting with em. Their art is also superrr shaped and silly!! Always a treat to see them on my dash

@meowyncherry: we dont interact much but he gave me the kinitopet brainrot and their art is also super blorbo so :3

@suburbandrifts: once again, we dont interact very often but they seem very cool and silly/pos and their art is incredibly good! mm the colors are coloring/pos @weeeeblr:!!! The art ever actually!!! Idk how we're mutuals cause hes super cool actually. Great art, and his designs for basically everything is peak/srs

@bananacat76: the bestie does indeed make art!!! And said art is amazing!! Such a cool person and fren :3 their style is also incredibly interesting I need to study it under a microscope/aff

@keeper-of-magic:!!! Cool person alert!!! Their art is amazing and their worldbuiding skills are super awesome!!! I also gotta try and play DND with them sometime.... I have no idea how to but it seems fun, just like them!

@badgerfrost: the silly ever!!! Its art is very well colored and its basically eye candy at this point, and ever time we interact I KNOW its gonna be a goood time

@draagu: ohhhh the silly!!! We dont interact much but shes a super cool moot and idk how we're mutuals like. ??? awesome person with awesome art FOLLOWED ME????? Awesome

@dazzoot: we have interacted a total of like 1 time but cool mutual deserves an honorary tag

GO CHECK ALL OF THESE SILLY PPL OUT!!! THEY'RE AWESOME :333 (if I forgor anyone i am so sorry. Also if you want me to untag you just ask. I dont wanna make anyone uncomfy)

Talking to people spooks me

I have anxiety so please be patient with me, I usually overthink what I am going to say and then end up saying something either really stupid, kinda weird, or I just don't respond.

I am mentally a 5 year old so please inform me if I did something wrong, I usually wont notice or I will think its not an issue. Please be patient with me.

if you sat through all of that, congrats! You get rw gifs now :)

[ragyragd0ll]

Furry headcanons and what animal the Ikerev cast's fursona might be.

Don't judge me, for I hath judged myself enough.

Headcanons below cut (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

Wonderland Residents:

Amon: I can't imagine him as anything but a chinchilla, sorry but he just has that feel. I also like to headcanon his pet as a chinchilla, because I can.

Dalim: I can see him have a wolf fursona, probably because of his relationship with Amon, with how he is loyal, but unlike a dog (as I was considering headcanoning him as) he could betray Amon if it meant protecting his family, like how a wolf would protect their pact. Plus, he likes to put on a act of being a villain (which he kinda is) so he chose wolf, because they are often seen as villains in stories.

Harr: I just see him as a bat, although I can also see him be an owl... Can't choose, he is both now.

Oliver: He... Crab. (I know, I worded this one beautifully.)

Loki: Cat, definitely a cat. Like just look at him, cat.

Blanc: ...Bwunny

Mousse: Mouse, I mean... Look at him.

Nodisha: I see her as a bunny.

Claudius: Snake, cause he's a snake.

Levie: He is also a bunny

Red army

Lancelot: Very much lion vibes.

Jonah: I see him be a cat, with all that sass he might as well have whiskers.

Zero: I think his fursona is maybe a dog?

Edgar: I see him as a hamster...

Kyle: Sloth, it's self-explanatory.

(S'cuse the shortness on this one)

Black army

Seth: I personally couldn't really think of anything but a fox, as his pet was. But I guess it kinda fits him.

Luca: Since Luca likes to be anything but what Jonah is, he'd probably chose his fursona to be a dog, plus, it would look cute on him.

Ray: Dog, he just has that vibe. Plus, Amon thinks so too! Or well-- he called him one. (Amon likes to call a lot of characters 'dog'... Maybe keep that between you and your boyfriend Amon, sheesh.)

Fenrir: I just feel his fursona to be that mythical fox named 'Fenrir', this headcanon was indeed influenced by his name.

Sirius: Perhaps a bear? He definitely feels like a mama bear.

Alice: Dog.

Stephen: Dog.

Now we're getting into my oc's.

Vanilla: Her fursona changes depending on mood, but the main ones are; Jellyfish, Cat, and any type of mythical creature. She is the type of character were many things change depending on mood (major projection core on this one).

And a new oc that I'm currently developing, I don't have a name for them yet, nor gender, but I doooo have a fursona for them: That fursona being a cat.

________

Yes, I, Amaymon, am indeed a furry, although I don't interact with the fandom much.

Some of these head-canons I'm more attached to than others, but Amon will always be a chinchilla.

Maybe I should draw his fursona? Maybe with Levie and Dalim's... Maybe I should also make a fanfic of this...