#yes i have watched that particular movie recently

[squid--inc]

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[gratelove]

You Didn’t Tell Me

Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: 18+, sexual intercourse, oral, sweet Peter, rough, fluff

You’re Peter’s best friend and he has seemed distant recently. You try to confront him about it and it turns into an argument. You go to his house to make up, and find him coming home as Spider-Man. This leads to reader and Peter getting steamy.

“Hey Pete, I was thinking we could hang out after school? You could come over and we can maybe have a movie night?” You ask your best friend, Peter Parker. You are both walking through the crowded halls on the way to your next class.

“I can’t tonight.” Is all he says. He won’t make eye contact with you and as you watch him, he licks his lips nervously, running a hand through his soft, brown hair. You’re walking so close to each other that your shoulders bump every once in a while. You can smell a faint scent of cologne. The cologne he always wears that you love so much.

“Why not?” You stare at him, stopping in your tracks. You can feel yourself starting to get frustrated, but you try to keep your cool. Peter has been dodging you for the last few weeks. You used to hang out every day after school. Whether it was studying, watching movies, or just talking for hours. He’s the only person that you could genuinely talk to forever about nothing in particular. All you know is that you miss your best friend.

“Because I’m… Im busy. I promised May we’d go out to eat.” You both move out of the center of the busy hallways and you lean against a locker, raising your eyebrow at his statement.

“Really?” You know that’s a lie and now your blood starts to boil.

“Yes, really.” Peter says, still continuing to avoid eye contact.

“May texted me this morning. She asked me if we were hanging out tonight. She said she’s worried because she hasn’t seen me over there in weeks. Why are you lying to me Peter?” Your fingers tighten around the school books in your hand.

“Look, Y/N, I’m sorry. I just can’t tonight.” Peter turns his back to you and continues down the hall.

“Why won’t you tell me? We tell each other everything!” You catch up to him, walking fast, trying to keep up with him.

“I really can’t do this, Y/N. Please just leave it alone.”

“No! If I did something wrong, I’m sorry. If you don’t want to be my friend, just say so! Don’t just ignore me and pretend I don’t exist!” Peter turns in front of you, stopping all movement.

“I just don’t have time for you!” Peter yells. A couple people walking by stare as they go. You are filled with embarrassment as you see others eyes on you. “Im sorry, Y/N. I just can’t do this right n-“

“It’s fine.” Tears pool in your eyes and you take a deep breath. You push past him, hitting him with your shoulder. You wipe the tear falling down your cheek and head to your next class.

——

You’ve had all day to think about the argument you had with Peter and decide that you should go talk to him. There is obviously something going on, and you’ve always told each other everything, so this must be serious. Instead of pushing him away, or getting mad at him, you should just be there for him as his friend. You decided that you are going to go straight to his house to talk to him and apologize for pressuring him to talk.

Once you arrive, you knock on the door and May answers. She smiles and give you a big hug.

“Hey sweetheart! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” You smile and step inside, as May closes the front door.

“Hey May, is he here?” You ask, looking at the stairs that lead to Peter’s room.

“No, but you’re more than welcome to wait for him. Did you want anything to eat?”

“No, thank you. I’m just going to do some homework in his room.” You head up the wood stairs, a couple of them squeak as you go up. You get to his room to see clothes thrown on the floor and paper scattered on his desk. This is unusual for him. He usually keeps his room clean and tidy. You pull out your laptop and starting writing an essay for class. You do this for what feels like hours.

——

Several hours later, you have finished your paper, and are just scrolling through your phone. It’s dark outside and you look at the time. It’s almost 11:00 at night.

Suddenly, you hear the bedroom window being pulled open. Your heart starts to race and grab the first thing your hand touches, which is a clock, and you prepare to throw it at an intruder. You soon realize the mystery person crawling through the window is Peter… in a Spider-Man suit? Is he?

“Peter?” He quickly turns around as you drop the clock to the floor in shock. Your eyes widen. “Your-your Spider… You’re Spider-Man?” He pushes a small spider emblem on the center of his chest and the skin tight suit starts to fall from his chiseled shoulders.

“No no no. I’m not. No I’m not.” Peter says frantically. He’s left in just a pair of boxers as he stands there with a horrified look on his face. Sure that your expression matches, you sit on the edge of his bed.

“How is that possible? How are you… I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” You shake your head and Peter walks over to you, sitting next to you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just wanted you to be safe. I was afraid if you knew, that you would be in danger. I was also told not to tell anyone. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” He puts a hand on your thigh and you feel tingles shoot through your body.

“I was so scared that you didn’t want to be my friend.” You put your hand over his and he smiles.

“I honestly couldn’t live without you. I was only willing to if it meant you were going to be safe. I’d do anything to make sure that happens. I wanted to tell you more than anything, but I was scared.” Your stomach flutters at his words as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. You lean into his hand and smile. You have always had a small crush on Peter. One that you would never tell him about because you wouldn’t want to lose him or ruin your friendship. Right now, those feelings are stronger than ever. “You know, I honestly didn’t think I’d ever say this, but… oh god.” Peter pauses and takes a deep breath.

“Hey, you can tell me anything.”

“You say that, but you have no idea what I’m going to say. Y/N, I’ve loved you for the longest time.” You are taken back at Peter’s confession. You never once thought you’d hear those words. You never thought your feelings would ever be reciprocated.

“I- Peter-“

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” Pete puts his head in hide hands. “Spider-Man gives me a stupid sense of confidence.” He shakes his head and you giggle. You pull at his wrists so that the beautiful brunette boy is forced to look at you. His face is bright red in embarrassment. You grab both sides of his cheeks and kiss him. You feel his hands wrap around your waist and slightly squeeze. You pull away and look into his sweet brown eyes. A large smiles spreads across his face. “I’ve been thinking about doing that for too many years.” You both giggle and you feel his warm breath across your cheeks.

“Then do it again.” He stares at you for a moment, and then your lips are connected again. You tug lightly at his curls as he deepens the kiss. His hands run down your neck until they find them hem of your shirt. He lips trail down your cheek, then your jaw line, until they find the crook of your neck. His fingers play with the fabric, and you lift your back up slightly, giving him the cue to pull your shirt off. Peter stares at your chest. Your breasts pool slightly over your pink, floral bra from holding yourself up on your elbows.

“Do you want to?” He asks, continuing to stare at you in awe. His voice is shaky as he asks. You can tell he is nervous. You know he is a virgin.

“Do you want to? This’ll be your first time. Are you sure this is what you want?” You ask and watch his expression. He face turns red with embarrassment and you giggle. “It’s okay if you’re nervous. I just want to make sure that this is what you want.”

“It is what I want. I want you so badly, Y/N. I’ve wanted you for years.” You grab the back of Peter’s neck and connect your lips together. He moans into the kiss. You stop kissing and shove your hand against his chest.

“Roll over.” You smile and he follows your instructions. You are now straddling him. You go for his neck and start sucking at the skin, hopefully leaving bruises. Peter moans underneath you and you can feel yourself start to get wet. You run your fingers over his abs and slowly make your way down his abdomen with your mouth. Your lips connecting with his warm skin until you reach the top of his thin, black boxers. He’s bulging out of the thin fabric, and you run your hand over his hard cock. Your fingers play with the hem as you kiss his penis through the cloth. “Pull your boxers down.” Peter does as you instruct, and soon he is laid before you, naked. His length rests against his stomach. You take him in your hand, wrapping your mouth around his tip. You slowly swirl your tongue around his sensitive tip. You watch as Peter’s eye roll to the back of his head, and he throws his head back against the pillow, letting out a soft moan. He is large and you know you won’t be able to fit his whole cock in your mouth without choking. You let your saliva run down his member and use your hand to start jerking him off. While your hand is rubbing his length, you use your tongue to run circles around his tip.

“Oh fuck, Y/N.” Peter pants. His legs are tensing underneath you, and you feel precum leak onto your tongue. “Y/N, that feels amazing.” You pick up your pace, moving you hand faster, up and down his shaft. His moans start to get louder. “Oh, I’m going to cum.” Just as Peter says that you pull your mouth off of him, leaving him confused and so close to orgasm.

“Condom?” You ask and Peter frantically pulls open the bedside table drawer. He pulls out a small purple package and peels it open. You watch as he fumbles with the rubber in his fingers, eventually grabbing it from him. You line the opening up with his cock and slide it down, making sure to apply pressure. He gives you a small moan and a smile pulls at your lips. You unclamp your bra, exposing your breasts. You stand up and unbutton your jeans, pulling them down with your panties. Peter is staring at you. You climb on top of him, kissing him hard. “I’ve thought about you inside me so many times. I’ve fingered myself to the thought of you fucking me, Parker.” You grab both of his hands and put them on your breasts. You line him up with your entrance and slowly lower yourself onto him. His large member stretches you. Your rest your forehead on Peter’s, and you both let out a moan.

“You feel so tight, Y/N.” Peter groans. His hands find your hips and he squeezes them tight as he lifts you up and down. Your hands grab the headboard and you pick up your pace. You bounce up and down on his hard cock, both of you moaning in sync. Peter takes one of your breasts in his mouth and swirls his tongue around your nipple. Biting it slightly, you thrown your head back, moaning loudly.

“Fuck Peter, you cock feels so good.” In two seconds you are flipped onto your back, Peter now on top of you.

“Can I go harder?” Peter asks and you nod your head. His hands grip at your hips even tighter than before. Peter’s pace picks up compared to when you were on top. His cocks is pounding into you, and you put your hand over your mouth, muffling the screams that try to erupt so May doesn’t hear.

“Fuck, Peter! Oh my god!” You scream through your hand. You see sweat drip down his chest and flow between the shape of his abs. Pieces of brown curls stick and bounce off his glistening forehead. His brown eyes watch as yours are thrown back with the feeling of him pounding you into the mattress. “Im gonna cum.” You grab the back of his neck, wrapping your legs around him, and yank at his hair.

“Me too baby.” He moans and just as you both release you hear a crack and you both drop. You yelp and look around to see one of the bed’s legs snapped. Peter and you lock eyes and then burst into laughter.

“I’ve never been fucked like that before.” Peter chuckles.

“I’m still figuring out how to control my new strength.”

“I think you have it pretty under control.” He raises an eyebrow and kisses you softly.

[cafejulii]

Kurapika being deemed by the hxh fandom as one of, if not the most, aesthetically pleasing character in all of hxh is ironically hilarious to me.

While I agree with this sentiment to an extent, as someone who is very keen to elements that make up an inherent sense of asethetic, canonically speaking; it should be expected that Kurapika has almost everything that would go against having a cohesive one. If anything, I am in firm belief that the main reason why he holds such a title is due to the manga covers along with the elegantly crafted filler added in hxh 1999 in which depicts the suffering intertwined with the discovery of his nen ability in such an artistic manner, which then created the baseline aesthetic for the lovely artists of this fandom to further expand upon.

But outside of this? Even so, many hxh fans still agree that he holds a sense of aestheticism to him. It truly does not matter that his color palette is all over the place, or that he would absolutely not care for style, and that, when not his cultural attire or a suit; he dresses as though he had walked into each of his friends closet's, picked out one item from each one, and wore them all together and called it fashion. (They absolutely do not match at all and Killua would absolutely have a stroke at the sheer sight of such grievous combinations).

Specifically talking about these 2011 official arts in which he is one step away from becoming Armin Artlert. (Even complete with the seagull)

Either that, or he dresses like a recently divorced wine mom. Or a butch lesbian. Not to feminize him in any way of course. It’s just the observed truth. It’s just the, pure, unavoidable reality when you dress in those particular color combinations, wear flannel or an oversized sweater, and have that oh so particular “fuck ass bob.”

Specifically talking about these 1999 official arts. A friend of mine had pointed out to me that the one on the right reminded them of Major Hughes’s wife from FMA and I couldn’t stop laughing. Poor 1999 official art Kurapika they did him so wrong.

Though there also many instances in the 1999 official arts in which he does a complete 180, and dresses as though he were the most insufferable character in a shitty 90’s mafia movie. While yes, in the manga, he is technically a mob boss as of now, I genuinely could not fathom watching the absolute mess of succession war unfold with a straight face if he dressed like this.

Yet even still, we have a multitude of artists making the most breathtaking artworks that depict him in agony while holding the eyes of his people almost as if he were some sort of sacrilegious patron, a lot of which are usually inspired Catholic/ Orthodox paintings. (I love these types of arts so much)

Now thinking about it, I suppose, maybe he is so aesthetically appealing because he is an androgynous presenting man with heavy backstory that has many symbolic ties to Christianity as he is representative of Lucifer in juxtaposition to Chrollo who is seen as this twisted version of Jesus Christ. And as we know, it was Lucifer who was considered to be the most “ beautiful of all the angels.”

But anyway, I digress. Bro is just ethereal. Congratulations togashi for creating a character so intentionally-unintentionally aesthetic.

(also this is very much a shitpost please I beg don’t take this seriously at all)

[ghost-proofbaby]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS (a barista!eddie x barista!reader au)

summary: eddie faces the perils of being a coffee shop opener, and meets you. you, who's so damn optimistic it should be annoying. you, who makes the job that has given him trouble seem like a cake walk. you, who seemingly bleeds sunshine. god, he should really hate you.

warnings: TWO uses of "y/n", fem!reader (use of she/her pronouns), PHYSICAL descriptors used for reader (she has a nose ring and a septum piercing! that's all), eddie is just a bitter and grumpy idiot.

wc: 5.2k

a/n: i apologize in advance for all the technical 'barista' talk in reference to positions. i tried to elaborate on a few of them, haha. also... yes. i gave reader two nose piercings. it's definitely not even more self-projection psh. (because i have three)

the full menu

Eddie Munson is not a morning person.

So, why, for the life of him, he ended up as an opener, he couldn’t tell you. 

It had been a snowball effect. He got tired of working odd jobs here and there to produce enough cash to slip Wayne for bills, decided the quick change made off of fixing up neighbors’ cars or mowing lawns just wasn’t cutting it for his desired spending habits. He was tired of being so restricted by his misfortune; he was tired of watching Wayne pull long shifts only to continue living paycheck to paycheck. He was tired of his friends like Harrington and Buckley having money from their part time gig at the movie store to freely agree to impromptu late nights at Benny’s or seeing the latest slasher films in the theater as they premiered while he had to deliberate over counting change to see if he even had the funds to join in. He was tired of eyeing that guitar in the mall and constantly telling himself one day. 

Eddie Munson had been tired. But now, as he forced himself awake most mornings before the sun even rose, he was exhausted.

Originally, he’d wanted to be a closer. He didn’t mind being the clean up crew, having to spend late nights in a coffee shop sweeping up grounds and scrubbing away the stickiness of the day. But then the hiring manager that interviewed him had hinted towards the fact that their store already had enough closers when he’d spotted Eddie’s availability, made a few off comments about how what they really needed was a couple brave souls to take over opening shift, and that tiresome cycle rang in Eddie’s ears. Before he even had the chance to think it through, in his desperation, he’d insisted that oh, actually, my availability is completely open. I don’t mind working earlier than that. 

What bullshit. Eddie definitely minded working earlier than that. He more than minded it — he loathed it.

Long story short, it had been a series of unfortunate events that led Eddie to where he was now. In his van, fifteen minutes early, staring out at a parking lot bathed in the lingering night as he fought to keep his eyes open. 

The clock on his dash read 4:46 in a taunting blink, flickering against his bleary eyesight and making him question every decision in his life that had led him here. Adjusting to the new job had been easy enough — his trainer was nice enough, learning how to make drinks and what routines were required in the morning had been meticulous but rewarding — except for the time. It wasn’t just his start time that tortured him vehemently; shifts seem to pass miserably slow, the seconds dragging their feet in no hurry to get anywhere in particular. The clock didn’t care if Eddie yearned for his bed and a few extra hours of sleep gifted by a nap. Traffic didn’t either, when he’d hit the highways and catch just the beginnings or the tail end of the morning rush.

You’d think he’d complain more about the commute. But the gas spent on the twenty minute drive to the town over was the least of his concerns.

“Fuckin’ John,” Eddie mutters when a large truck pulls up to the drive thru, a notable regular he’d begun to recognize after not even a month of working there. They had just recently changed their opening time (they used to open an hour earlier, his manager had informed him. Eddie had nearly burst into grateful tears that he’d never experienced that crime of humanity.) 

None of his coworkers had arrived yet. Most lived closer, able to garner extra snoozes on their alarms and shorter drives of contemplation. Eddie only ever envied them on mornings like today.

“We don’t open for, like, another forty minutes, asshole,” Eddie curses out loud to himself, counting down the time until John gives up and drives away. The man would just circle the store like a vulture anyways. He always did; he always had to be the first customer, grabbing his ridiculous coffee order before scurrying off to play cards at the casino, “How do you come here every fuckin’ day and not know that?” 

It took the older man a full four minutes before he finally roughly shifted his truck back into drive, being the farthest thing from gentle as he hit his gas and jerked his vehicle out of the drive thru line. Eddie couldn’t see him clearly through the stubborn darkness, but he could easily imagine that look of irritation at not receiving the caramel frappucino with a quad shot that he seemed to feel entitled to. 

God, that man was a dick. 

Eddie nearly misses another coworker pulling up to park beside him during the spectacle. 

By this point, he’s learned what cars all his coworkers drive. 

Carmen, the fellow barista who had trained him but he now rarely worked with due to her availability being a bit later in the day, drove a bright red 2012 Kia Soul that had certainly seen better days. Nicole, one of the shift leads he worked with often during his opens, drove a small and silver Nissan Versa. The year is lost on him, but he’s willing to bet it was a few years old at this point. James, another shift lead who went by Jamie and never had much to say, drove a Volkswagen that looked to be straight out of the 70s. And that was just the beginning, the ones he could think of off the top of his head while he was still waking up inside his van. 

The car parked beside him wasn���t any of these. He didn’t recognize it at first glance, and found himself doing a double take as his face scrunched up. 

A Jeep. A two-door Jeep Wrangler with vibrant, chipped yellow paint now sat idle beside him. 

Who the fuck drove a yellow Jeep? 

He can’t even bother to be annoyed or fatigued anymore with the mystery presently before him. He can’t see through the tint of the windows, can’t make out the silhouette of who it was. He was well aware that he hadn’t been acquainted with all of his coworkers quite yet – there was a plethora of baristas in the store he’d only heard spoken of in passing rather than properly meeting – but it had seemed like the people who opened always came from the same rotation of sorry suckers. 

Nicole’s car pulls up. So whoever drove the Jeep was not one of the shift leads. 

Five minutes to 5:00 AM, Nicole’s car door opens first and Eddie can hear the Jeep’s engine kill. He’s quick to fumble with his own keys, pulling them from the ignition in a haste and throwing a hand out to blindly grab his apron from his passenger seat.

A deep shade of green. Everyone had one or two of them laying around, and they were the root of the nickname for all new hires: green beans. He had just finally gotten the one embroidered with his name a little over a week ago, and his manager had apologized profusely as she swore it usually didn’t take that long.

Eddie really didn’t care. The moment he started wearing the apron with his name on it, customers had taken to randomly addressing him by it, and it made him fucking uncomfortable. 

“Rise and shine, campers!” Nicole’s voice echoes through the parking lot the moment all three openers are out of their cars. 

Eddie doesn’t answer at first (which isn’t unusual; Nicole was used to his ever-present sleep-deprivation induced silence). He’s too busy nearly tripping over himself as his eyes stay glued on that Jeep, on the door that swings wide open roughly from two parking spaces away as he waits with bated breath. 

Would this new coworker he was about to meet even like him? 

“God, Nicky,” a new voice groans – a girl’s voice.

Ah, fuck. 

Eddie had noticed the mysterious phenomenon of the way everyone who worked here seemed to be attractive to some extent. Nice on the eyes, always smiling and always flirting in a friendly manner to garner more tips. He’d had plenty of bisexual panics in the bathroom anytime one of his coworkers extended that friendly flirtation his way. All the fellow guys (as few as there were) and all the confident girls he’d been in the trenches with – it didn’t matter, they all affected him. 

Hawkins didn’t have nearly as many pretty people. Eddie sort of felt cheated for having lived a mere twenty minutes from a goldmine of such people for so long, completely unaware. But he also felt sort of relieved, knowing that if he were still a teenager barely scraping by in high school, this coffee shop would have been his downfall with awkward stumbles and feelings caught from all those faux smiles and joking winks that his now coworkers laid on heavy with their regulars. 

With this in mind, he doesn’t know why he wasn’t prepared for when you stepped out of the Jeep. Slamming the door shut behind you, your arms were full with an apron that was definitely not green, along with an oversized water bottle and what he thinks is either a cardigan or jacket. A tote bag slung over your shoulder looked to be stuffed full as well. You were a walking cliche for the type of person that people would expect to work at a coffee shop. The type of person that embodied all those jokes of if an alternative person isn’t making my coffee, it’s not going to taste good. 

Eddie should know; he’d been the butt of many of those style of jokes given that he also fit into that category. With his long hair, with his sparse tattoos, with his new nose ring – he knew he was as much of a cliche as you were. 

Didn’t stop him from staring at you, suddenly wide awake. 

“Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine?” Nicole jokes as she rounds the front of your Jeep, stopping and looking between you and Eddie before she says to you, “You’d think after a month’s vacation you’d be happier to see me.” 

You take two steps forward, lining up right between Eddie and Nicole, and suddenly contort your face to be such an over-exaggerated smile that it’s nearly a grimace. Eddie is so caught up in the scrunch of your nose, he nearly misses the way you grit out a sarcastic “Better?” from between your teeth. 

“Oh, that’s the winner,” Nicole cackles, keys jangling as she shakes them and leads the two of you towards the front of the store. Over her shoulder, she continues to joke, “Keep on smiling like that, and I sense a twenty dollar tip in our future.” 

Eddie still hasn’t said a word. What is he supposed to say? All he can do is trail slightly behind you, doing everything in his power to not let his eyes roam over your legs or backside. You were just wearing black jeans, in line with the same dress-code everyone else followed, but they were doing you favors. 

“Y’know, I think I already saw John’s truck this morning,” your voice was surprisingly pleasant despite the insinuation Nicole had made that your first impression should be grumpy. Far less gritty than Eddie’s would have been had he spoken up, “Think I can sweet talk that out of him? Maybe I’ll ask about his wife. Or- Oh!” you exclaim, bursting with sudden energy that should give Eddie a headache this early, “Put me on bar! I’ll douse his drink in caramel how he likes, that’s sure to tug on his wallet- Sorry, I mean heart-strings.” 

Nicole continues to laugh as she fumbles with unlocking the door, and it’s not lost on Eddie that he has never made any of the fellow baristas laugh like that. Although, to be fair, he has never been quite as enthusiastic as you. He didn’t seemingly bleed sunshine like you. Here the three of you were, outside in the dusky beginnings of a morning, and he could have sworn that the sun had already risen from the light that seemed to emit from you. 

It should have made him nauseated. It kind of did, actually. 

You turn suddenly, just as Nicole finally turns the lock, and face him. Your smile is subtle, eyes so wide he wouldn’t notice the bags even if you had any. “I’m Y/N, by the way.” 

You stick your hand out and he can see you sticky with it – with hopefulness, with friendliness, with kindness. His stomach churns. 

Nope. Not a chance. 

The moment Nicole opens the door, he’s barely muttering his name back to you, and is rushing past you to enter the store. His shoulder brushes against yours, and he has to tell himself repeatedly he did not just shoulder-check you. He has to tell himself that it’s okay he didn’t meet your level of enthusiasm. He has to tell himself that you’re just another barista, someone else who makes coffee for a living and that this new energy you bring is just due to that vacation that Nicole mentioned. 

It’ll fade. He’ll be fine. At some point, his stomach has to stop churning. 

—

It doesn’t. 

Your energy doesn’t falter, to his surprise. Not only are you sunshine personified, but you’re also damn good at your job. Eddie can only imagine how sluggish he’d be if he had a month off from anything, especially a job, but it doesn’t even seem as though you have to dust any of your skills off for the day. 

You offer to take over opening up the ‘drive thru’ aspect of the store, brewing all the coffees and teas without complaint as Eddie lingers in his misery of shuffling through the tasks of opening up the food portion of the store. As he’s sorting the croissants to be replenished, implementing the technique of FIFO (first in, first out), he can hear Nicole still cackling at whatever you’re saying in the back of the house as you clean the syrup pumps. When he’s labeling all the new breakfast sandwiches for the day with their best-by dates, he can hear you humming a few feet away from him over the clicking of the sticker gun in his hand. And when the clock finally reads 5:30 to signify the time of opening, you’re putting on your apron, tying it around yourself more securely than Eddie always lazily did. Even your black apron seemed to fit on you better than his did, as if you were more made for this job than he was. As if you had years of experience to carry on your shoulders, and God, were you carrying them with grace. Constantly smiling, constantly joking. He’d once thought Nicole incapable of even breaking a grin, but he’d hardly gone longer than a minute without hearing her laugh during the time of your opening together. 

God, he sort of hated you. 

You never even mentioned how rudely he’d shrugged off your introduction. Occasionally, he’d even caught you looking his way during the conversation, a soft expression on your face as if you were ready to include him in all the inside jokes at a moment’s notice. 

He made sure to consistently stare straight ahead, never once seeming to glance your way when you wore that expression. 

You were just too nice. You were putting all the other openers to shame right before his eyes, himself included, and he hated you for it. 

Once the store is open, John is the first customer in drive, as always. Eddie wears the headset (the one you’d grabbed for him, sanitizing it and slotting a freshly charged battery in without him even asking. God, he hated you.) and listens in to you greeting the awful bastard, and his stomach does another flip. 

“Good morning, John,” you chirp happily. He couldn’t see your face from around the corner, but he could only imagine that you were wearing a smile. Maybe you even had that damn camera on so that the customers could see you just as you could see them. 

He waits. Anxious to hear John’s grumpy reply, be reassured when someone else also didn’t match your energy. The man had never been pleasant a single day that Eddie had worked thus far. Simply barking out his order, acting offended when someone didn’t recognize him. 

If anyone was going to be cruel to you, Eddie would bet all five dollars in his pocket that it would be John. 

But even John wasn’t fucking mean to you. 

He had replied in the most cheerful tone Eddie had ever heard leave the man’s throat.

“And who am I speaking to?” he almost sounds teasing. It fans at Eddie’s irrational irritability. 

“I’ll give you three guesses.” 

He hates the way your customer service voice was so similar to just your normal voice. A bit squeakier, a bit more polite, but still bottled sunshine. He hates how nicely it caressed his eardrum as compared to the grate of some of the other barista’s tones while on drive thru. He hates that some deep part of him secretly hoped that Nicole stationed you there your entire shift, and that if she did, he would fight tooth and nail to keep this damn headset on. Just to hear your voice. Just to hear your light.

“Only three?” John’s gruff voice scoffs, “There’s only one person who works here who is this damn cheery before eight in the morning.” 

Nicole laughs from where she’s bent over to put down a few of the sanitizer buckets by the bars, shaking her head as she also listens in over her headset. 

“I’m making it easy on you, then,” you say as you suddenly come into view for Eddie. He’s trying to replenish the sandwiches and protein boxes that the store keeps on display for the customer by the register, still working through his morning tasks as he realizes you’ve completed yours.

Man, he fucking hated you. 

You don’t miss a beat as you begin to tap one of the espresso machines awake, punching all the right buttons to pull John’s espresso shot before you turn to make your way towards the cold beverage station. “You still drinking the same thing, old man?” 

“I’m not old.”

“Right, and I’m not already over-caffeinated,” that’s a lie. He hasn’t seen you touch a drop of coffee this entire time, “Just pull on up. It’s a billion dollars, or whatever your total normally is.” 

John’s cackle is cut off by him pulling away from the speaker box, effectively disconnecting the two way mic. Even Eddie finds himself nearly grinning at your reply, but he stops himself. Because you’re annoying. Because no one should be this witty this early. Because the ability to make others laugh this often should be a cardinal sin. 

He stops the grin because he hates you… right?

You do manage to get a tip out of John. Eddie sees it with his own two eyes. It’s a quick deposit of whatever spare change the stingiest man Eddie had ever had the displeasure of meeting has lying around his car, and it happens so quickly while you’re leant out the window to pass the man his receipt that he always requests that Eddie almost convinces himself it didn’t happen. But it did. He saw it with his own two eyes, as he tripped over his two left feet, effectively nearly knocking Nicole over with him. 

The look she gives him makes his stomach twist this time as his heart lurches. It’s a knowing look. It’s despicable. 

She doesn’t say a word until later into the shift, once more baristas are scattered across the floor and peak is in full swing. Eddie isn’t kept on food, and you aren’t kept to manage taking orders or run the window – he’s the one reassigned to the window position as you are moved to the cafe bar. He’s tasked with quick connections before handing out drinks to bored business people, as you fly through making drinks for both mobile orders and any customers that choose to physically walk into the store. 

Nicole puts herself on the position of ‘DTO’ – she greets the drive thru customers over the headset and takes their orders, her tone not nearly as honey-sweet as yours had been. She’s lacking in jokes, she sticks to a script that must have taken her years to make sound even remotely natural. 

Eddie’s just grateful he doesn’t have to wear a headset and listen to her directly in his ear. 

Rush has died down when she turns to him and cocks a brow with her hip. He has the window shut, fiddling with his thumbs as he anxiously awaits for the partner on drive bar to finish making the iced white mocha for the customer currently sitting on their phone. He’s sure the look she shoots his way is in regards to the fact that he isn’t ‘connecting with the customer’ or putting himself through insufferable small talk. 

It isn’t.

“Do you not like her?” 

His head shoots up, fully meeting her curious gaze, “Excuse me?”

“Y/N,” she clarifies, “Do you… not like her?” 

“I don’t know her,” he weakly defends himself.

He had been a dick to you this morning, hadn’t he? What a weak defense for being a bad person to someone who makes this entire store glow simply by being here. 

“You should give her a chance,” Nicole speaks softly as she leans back on the counter that holds the order screens, “I… She can be a lot, but she’s one of our best. Think of her as the people’s princess, so to speak.” 

He knows you’re one of the best here, just in the short few hours he’s caught glimpses of you. He has no idea how you’re so quick with making drinks, or how you manage to hold such genuine sounding conversations with all of the customers who stand right at the hand off plane. He just gets irritable when they stare at him with prying eyes as he tries (and fails) to keep up his pace. 

“I… I can see it,” he nods, bringing a hand up to pinch his bottom lip, “I mean, John clearly loves her.” 

Nicole gives a pointed look, “He does. She doesn’t take his shit – him and his wife bring her gifts for every holiday. They know her damn birthday and bring her cards. It’s insufferable.” 

He cracks a shy smile at that, “They bring her birthday cards?”

“They bring her birthday cards,” she echoes back to him. Eddie finally receives the drink he was waiting on and turns, quick to hand it out with a soft mutterance of ‘have a good day’. Once he’s finished and the drive thru is officially empty, he faces her once more, “You don’t have to like her as much as everyone else. I know you’re still new and adjusting but… she’s one of the best for a reason.” 

“Because she can turn out drinks like it’s no one’s business?” Eddie questions, side stepping and lifting his chin in your direction as you finish yet another drink, as if to prove his point. 

“That,” Nicole shrugs her shoulders and pushes off the counter, “And because she actually gives a damn.” Eddie’s brows shoot up as he waits for her to continue, “She knows these customers, man. Learns about their lives, hears them out. Remembers the small things. She’s the same way with all of us, too. She once got turned down from being a shift lead because she’s too nice. Have you ever heard of someone being shot down from a job for that?” Nicole pauses, and Eddie can only shake his head, feeling the ends of his ponytail brush the back of his neck, “She has the management experience – she knows how to run this place. Sometimes, I see it. The way she steps up and takes responsibility. She chooses to be that kind even if it makes her seem like a nut job. She chooses to let people hear walk all over her, because she cares. She cares more about treating us as humans or whatever than she does an upgrade in pay.”

“Makes sense they wouldn’t make her a shift, then,” Eddie dares to say, which earns him a sharp look, “I mean, management positions aren’t for the weak of heart. You have to make tough decision-”

“Once, a man was harassing one of our baristas. This dude who was married. Came in like clockwork and picked up a mobile order under his wife’s name, wouldn’t take no for an answer and kept flirting with one of our poor girls. I’ve never really been afraid of her, but I was every time that man stepped foot in here,” Nicole grabs a rag and starts to wipe down the counters with a low whistle, as if she isn’t spilling serious store lore right now to Eddie. As if she isn’t bringing on more questions than answers, “She’s not weak of heart. She’s good of heart. And if she hadn’t been on vacation, she would have been your trainer. You don’t have to like her, like I said, but it would do you well to give her a chance.” 

Trainer? 

Carmen had mentioned something about another barista being the usual trainer. She had even tried to joke around with Eddie that he would have liked the other girl better, something about how she was funnier and easier to get along with. 

You. You were the girl she’d been talking about. The people’s princess, as Nicole had put it. 

Eddie opens his mouth to say something in reply, although he isn’t quite sure what he can say. 

God, he had been a fucking dick. And Nicole was matching sure he felt all seven levels of Hell, of guilt, for it. 

It ate him alive for the rest of his shift. His stomach churned with it. All that guilt gnawed on him from the inside out, using his bones for toothpicks, and he already knew what he needed to do without Nicole saying it.

—

“Did that hurt?”

The two of you got off your shifts at the same time, as most openers do. At ten o’clock precisely, Nicole was shooing the two of you off the floor, two fresh baristas taking both your places as you scurried to the back. 

He’d overheard the joke made ten minutes prior, Nicole speaking to a fellow shift lead about who would be replacing you, already mourning your absence. She didn’t make such a joke about Eddie.

“Huh?” you look up quickly from where you had been carefully rolling and folding your apron into a bundle. 

Eddie gestures vaguely to his nose again, repeating himself, “Did it hurt?” 

It was the best he could do – pathetic small talk about the nose piercings of yours that had caught his eye. 

You grin radiantly, and he tries to swallow down that instinctive voice that whisper hate, hate, hate. “Which one?”

Right. You had multiple nose piercings. A hoop that matches Eddie’s own, only on the left nostril rather than the right like his, and that septum piercing. He’d probably look dumb to ask about the nostril considering he had his done, and should already know that it definitely doesn’t feel nice. 

“The septum,” he clarifies, “That combination, though, um… It looks sick.” 

Oh, he sounds so fucking stupid right now. He wishes the sticky floors beneath the two of you would split and swallow him whole. 

“Eh,” you shrug, finally glancing away from him to finish wrapping the strings of your apron snugly around the bundle you’d made of it, “My nostril honestly hurt worse. If you’re thinking of getting one,” you pause, and look up, offering him a look of pure mischief. Heart, stomach, mind. They all lurch with that look as you whisper, as if letting him in on a secret, “Do it.”

“I don’t think I could pull it off,” he’s quick to blurt out, eyes widening, resisting the urge to take several steps back and put distance between you two. 

Fuck, he didn’t hate you. It hits him like a truck – this shift had managed to slip through his fingers so quickly. The fastest one to date. Between all of your jokes, all of the laughter you managed to pull out of others and that he had to fight down, the day had flown past as easily as a shift really could. 

He regrets spending the shift moping. He regrets ignoring your introduction. He regrets not giving you a chance. 

“I think you could,” your tote bag now hangs from your shoulder, and you have your keys prepared in one hand as you hold your water bottle in the other, “Everyone says that, but if you can already pull off the nostril, adding a little septum to the mix never hurt nobody.” 

Is your face stuck like that? Stuck with a subtle and shy smile pulling at the lips, making the corners of your eyes crinkle in the slightest? 

He hopes not. If it is, he’ll never be able to have a normal conversation with you. He’ll always be too distracted, too infuriated, too overwhelmed. 

“You’re a very optimistic person,” he almost lets it slip out as a scoff, but refrains, Nicole’s words echoing in his mind. It would do you well to give her a chance.

“I find your lack of faith disturbing,” you casually say to him. 

“Did you just quote Star Wars to me?” 

Eddie is aghast, staring at you with even more awe than before. And you – oh, you look so goddamn proud of yourself and the way you’ve left him shellshocked, smugly lifting your chin and smiling more intentionally. You’re smiling so widely that your eyes pinch nearly fully shut and even more of that sunshine is now flooding the backroom up to Eddie’s knees.

“I don’t know,” you start to step around Eddie, carrying an air of arrogance that would only be so endearing from someone who had been proven to be as kind as you were, “Did I?”

You never give him the chance to answer. You leave him there, standing in the middle of the back of house and not even clocked out yet as you walk away with a bounce in your step and a quick have a good day, Eddie! over your shoulder.

When he’s finally off the clock and having given a half-ass goodbye to everyone on the floor (which no one replied to as enthusiastically as they had yours, by the way), you’re still sitting in your damn yellow Jeep. You give him a slight wave through the windshield as he makes a beeline for his van, and he doesn’t even bother to return it. Pretends he doesn’t see it. Looks straight ahead. If Nicole is watching from the drive thru window that serves as a front row seat to the entire interaction, she’s going to rip him a new one next shift they work together. 

God, Eddie wishes he hated you. 

Instead, he’s left hoping that next time he opens, you’re there to make the time fly. Maybe he’ll be the one quoting Star Wars to you. If he can ever get the stick out of his ass, that is.

taglist: @josephquinnsfreckles

(tag list is open - if you'd like to be added, let me know!)

[wander-wren]

sometimes i wonder about what fandom is going to look like in 5 or 10 years. i think we might have already started to see a shift.

because, look, most of the oldest, biggest fandoms are from tv shows and movies, in particular ones that go on for years and scores of episodes. star trek, star wars, stargate (is everything star?), doctor who, supernatural…even sherlock really got its biggest popularity boosts in the modern day from tv adaptations. marvel and dc were comics first, too, but movies made them more accessible; their “cinematic universe” tags are the biggest on ao3 by far.

but what tv shows are we getting now? short, 8-episode things that get canceled two or three seasons in, that are usually less-than-faithful adaptations of other media anyway.

what movies are we getting? well, marvel turns more to slop every day, and everything else is remakes and sequels no one asked for. the general populace will still go see them and find some good movies that they like, but there’s not much really for fandom to grasp onto.

the best shows for fandom that we’ve had recently, that i can think of, are stranger things, game of thrones, and maybe our flag means death. stranger things is dying off, especially since they’re looking at a 3-4 YEAR gap between s4 and s5. game of thrones’s popularity plummeted after its final season, we all know that. our flag means death is still chugging fairly okay, but after that second season a lot of the fandom dropped it, and with it now being cancelled, i don’t see it sticking around.

yes, we can chalk part of this up to a new generation to of fans having this growing idea that fandom is super temporary, to be abandoned as soon as its not on trend. but media used to be on trend for a whole lot longer than it is now. seasons were longer, we had filler episodes, things were lower quality sometimes but at least they came out on a consistent schedule. i don’t mind if supernatural isn’t an artistic masterpiece, but if i was a stranger things fan waiting until 2026 for the final season, i would be annoyed if it wasn’t damn near perfect. that’s assuming i watched it at all—we’re all so used to not getting endings and moving on, so why would i bother?

i think there are two types of shows doing sort of okay about this. one is procedurals—9-1-1 is a popular one i’ve run into, and it started in 2018, around the beginning of the decline, but it’s managed 7 seasons in those six years, most of them with 18 episodes. the other is, honestly, anime—though we can and SHOULD talk about the terrible working conditions that make the fast turnarounds there possible. look at how big some anime fandoms are.

judging by the relative fandom popularity of other procedural dramas (grey’s anatomy, law & order, criminal minds), i think that’s going to remain sort of niche. fandom likes fantasy and scifi best, and they just don’t tend to have as strong of an overarching arc to dig into. at least, that’s why i wouldn’t watch them. i think there’s also a good chance these will start to die out in the coming years as well.

anime could also die out a little bit. better working conditions would necessitate less/slower content, and it’s true that most of the popular anime fandoms have been around for years, even decades.

so, what, no new, lasting tv show or movie fandoms anymore?

what will the biggest fandoms be in 5-10 years?

podcast fandoms have a shot. the magnus archives is still going strong, and i’ve been seeing a lot about dungeons and daddies. i think we’re kind of almost past the golden age for podcasts, but i am an outsider, so maybe that will change.

book fandoms seem like a kind of obvious choice, but they just don’t get as big without, you guessed it, a movie or show adaptation. and the downsizing has hit them, too—can you think of anything from the last 5 or 10 years that rivals harry potter, percy jackson, warriors, lord of the rings, hunger games, acotar…even game of thrones (asoiaf) again? i can’t. the collapse of the publishing industry is another post entirely.

2020 is really what cemented these changes, though they were starting in the late 2010s, at least. with actual industries shutting down, there was room for indie creators making things alone in their houses to pop up, and people had more time on their hands to try new things out and get into them.

the two things that have really been on the rise since 2020 is rpf and video game fic—often both combined. we’ve got genshin impact, call of duty, minecraft of course being huge, rpf of various youtubers, and k-pop rpf. now, i think rpf is contentious enough that it won’t really become the main fandom, but video game fic…might be it.

even video blogging rpf can often be a blurred enough line that people are more comfortable with it. and the thing is…youtube creators are actually more reliable than mainstream television these days. they need to be, to maintain their platforms. they need to not cancel series and to live up to their own hype as best they can and to not abandon the channel for 3 or 4 years at a time. and again, you can talk about burnout and unrealistic expectations and all of those things, but it’s still true.

maybe i’m completely wrong. maybe in 10 years the film and publishing industries will all sort themselves out and we’ll go back to the status quo. but i think this position fandom is finding itself in is interesting, and i wouldn’t necessarily be surprised if what’s most popular (both in the specific source material sense and the medium/genre sense) is different some time down the road.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

saw speak no evil last night, which i really enjoyed! it proved to be my very favorite kind of stressful movie, i.e. a slowburn thriller where people go to a beautiful and remote location and then Things Go So Wrong! it reminded me a lot of other faves ex machina, men, 10 cloverfield lane, the menu, ready or not, the recent blink twice, etc.

just some thoughts about this movie (spoilers!)--

+ i really enjoyed all the gender role stuff going on in this one a whole bunch. this is, of course, a classic gothic romp in my eyes. therefore, watching the dad -- down on his luck, feeling emasculated by his female family and by life not favoring him as much as it was supposed to! -- get seduced by the alpha male andrew tate-y bs embodied by james mcavoy's character, like the dad was but a shrinking naive gothic heroine missing or even lusting after all the red flags, was SUCH a fun subversion to me. yes! yes!!!

+ every time that mackenzie davis's character tried to establish boundaries and they got run over and then she let it slide to be palatable, i viscerally FELT THAT. there was, of course, a big element of 'privileged people wanting to appear woke so they keep being boundlessly pityingly nice to the poor people', but even deeper than that, i think this was a great portrayal of how women in particular are expected to constantly accommodate and ignore their intuition. the bit with making her eat the goose. D: and it got worse!

+ i also really liked how in the big showdown, the mom and the kids were the ones who actually took out the enemies, and the dad was the only one without a 'kill' to his name. (though he did sacrifice himself by jumping off the roof, mirroring Accomplice Wife's self-sacrificial death!)

+ gosh, the dark implications re: Accomplice Wife's character were so harrowing - the victim becoming the abuser - and the fact that the little girl was being primed to follow in her footsteps ..... D:

+ i enjoyed that the kids were the ones who had the sort of Big Finding Bluebeard's Closet Of Dead Wives Reveal. (my bf pointed out that this is a bluebeard story, and it so is! my favorite!) that sort of ASOUE-y feeling of kids having to make it on their own because adults aren't a guaranteed source of safety. MAN, poor ant. :'( that kid had a HORRIBLE time. i really admire his persistence in keeping on fighting and trying to communicate.

+ i saw someone in the reddit discussion thread say that couple vs. couple is an underrated trope, and i agree! would love to see more of that in cinema.

+ love how the title operates both on the level of "this kid can speak no evil about what we do because we cut his tongue out" AND "don't ever say anything mean to people or you might hurt their feelings and what could possibly be worse than that (oh, this, i guess) 😬"

+ can't believe they did nick miller's favorite song cotton eyed joe so dirty like that. :( that scene honestly brought tears to my eyes from pure misery. the fact that some parents really do treat their kids like that ...................... (even if that wound up not being totally the situation in this particular movie). disgusting and heartbreaking.

+ the most a+ "eternal flame" use since gilmore girls.

+ after i watched the movie i read up on what the original film was like, and may i just say: that would have broken me psychologically in the movie theatre. thank god i didn't have to see that. THANK GOD! sometimes american optimism really works for me, honestly. if it's a gothic, then in the gothic, they've always got to make it out at the end!!! bruised and bloodied and haunted but still standing! so i'm really glad they did!

+ it honestly never occurred to me that people would thirst over james mcavoy in this movie, because he's so gross and horrible, but it takes all sorts to make a world, it turns out. the internet teaches me that every day!

+ anyway, i had a great time watching this! would definitely watch again! but gosh, was it a special kind of fun and stressful to watch it unfold the first time.

[sailortongue]

As YOU Wish

pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

wc: 1.1k

summary: on the search for a particular book, you have a brief encounter with the owner of a local bookstore. But perhaps the ex-FBI agent also finds himself in search of something more after meeting you

cw: based on the netflix show You so Spencer is a red flag here

an: my cousin wrote the summary and it sounds so cute i had half a mind to rewrite this to just be an innocent meet cute

--------

The bell above the door chimed, signaling to Spencer that a customer had arrived—the first of the day, actually. He glanced up from the register to see a young woman about his age enter. Beautiful, he thought. He was taking in every aspect of your appearance as quickly as he could. The way you styled your hair, the color of your eyes, the worn-out pair of Converse that rivaled his own pair. He shook his head once to clear his thoughts, not wanting to embarrass himself before he even had the chance to ask for your name.

He plastered a smile on his face and greeted you with a “good morning”.

“Good morning,” you said, returning the smile.

Spencer watched you roam around the store, seemingly browsing more than looking for anything in particular. He noticed the way you gently ran your fingers over the spines of some of the books before pulling them from the shelves to read their summaries. Definitely cherishes her books. But no matter what book you pulled, it was always returned to its place. Spencer began taking notice of the way your eyes roved the many titles available, a small frown becoming more and more prominent the more you looked. Maybe you are looking for something. He voiced his thoughts aloud and called out, “Can I help you find anything?”

You turned to face the admittedly very handsome employee. The smile you gave him this time was one of embarrassment, feeling unreasonably foolish that he’d noticed you struggling to find what you were looking for. From Spencer’s point of view though, that embarrassment looked an awful lot like shyness, which was easily interpreted as interest. Hopefully as much as he had in you.

“Yes, please. I’m trying to find The Princess Bride,” you answered.

Spencer thought about it for a moment, trying to remember if it was in the fantasy, adventure, or romance section. “It is . . .” he started, dragging out the last syllable as he walked farther into the shelves with you following close behind. “right here,” he finished, gesturing to the book in question.

“Thank you!” you exclaimed excitedly. Just before you were going to reach for it, an idea struck you. You hoped and prayed that he’d understand, otherwise you’d just be embarrassing yourself again. Should that happen, you'd simply never come back to this store and would probably dwell on it for the rest of your life. You decided to take the chance anyway. “Fetch me that book?” you asked him.

Spencer looked at you incredulously. Is she serious? The shelf is barely above her head, she could reach it with no pro— 

He chuckled as he realized what you were referencing. He grinned down at you as he pulled the book from the shelf. “As you wish.”

You giggled as he handed it to you. “So happy you understood that. I think I would have died of shame if you didn’t.”

That got a true laugh out of the handsome man.  “I’ll admit it took me a second to get it, but that was perfect. Have you read it before or just watched the movie?”

“I’ve read it before, but my copy has up and vanished. It’s one of my favorites, so it was imperative that I get another one.”

He nods as if in understanding but his expression is one of confusion. “If it’s one of your favorites, then how did you lose it?”

“I just moved here recently. Went through all of my boxes but still can’t find it, so I’ve chalked it up to it getting lost in the move.”

“Well then, I’m glad to have been of assistance. Is that all you were looking for today?”

“For today, yes, but I’ll definitely be back. I don't think I’ve ever been in a bookstore as cozy as this one.”

Spencer beamed at you, pleased with your praise of the shop he’d worked so hard to establish. “Thank you. I worked very hard to make it that way.”

You looked at him quizzically. “You designed the shop?”

“No, I own it,” he said humorously. “Spencer Reid, owner of Reid’s Reads. It’s nice to meet you,” he introduced himself, even going as far as to offer you his hand, which ordinarily he’d never do. But the thought of initiating any kind of skin-to-skin contact was too thrilling to pass up.

“I’m Y/n, it’s nice to meet you, too,” you said, shaking the hand he’d offered.

“If that’s all you need then I can go ahead and get you checked out?” His eyes were wide and expressive as he looked to you for confirmation.

“Oh. Right.” Heat rose to your cheeks unbidden and you tried your best to keep your emotions in check. But unbeknownst to you, Spencer was a former FBI agent that specialized in such things, not to mention a certified genius. How cute. She’s blushing again. He also took note of the poorly hidden upturn of your lips. Why so shy? Just smile at me, sweetheart. 

He gestured for you to walk ahead of him. “Ladies first.”

He followed behind you to the register, glad for the opportunity to check you out in more ways than one.

You placed the book on the counter, and Spencer resumed his position behind the register. He scanned the book and read out the price to you. Pay with a card. Pay with a card. Pay with a card. he chanted mentally. 

Bingo. You pulled the piece of plastic from your wallet and handed it to him. He read the name as subtly as he could. You’d given him your first name, but a first name wouldn't be enough to find you online. He swiped your card and bagged your book, making sure to let his hand brush against yours as he handed the items to you.

“It was nice meeting you, Y/n. Do come again.”

“Oh, I will. Have a good day!” you said as you were leaving, giving him a small wave. The bell chimed as the door was opened again, and his eyes remained on your figure as he watched you through the large windows at the front of the store until you were out of sight.

With your full name now committed to memory, he planned on finding every trace of you online that he could as soon as he was home from work. He was no Penelope Garcia, but this wasn't something he particularly wanted the FBI involved in.

And so, for the rest of the day, his thoughts were consumed with only one thing: you.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Hi!

I've recently finished my first draft and I'm ready to get to work on the second.

My autism makes it hard to use those "tips and tricks" people usually have, so I thought about working out a step by step for myself instead, but I have no clue where to start?

Hope you can help or point me in the right direction, as I'm at my wits end.

I don't have any grand secrets, unfortunately. I've attempted to read many, many books on editing, trying to discover the secret that I appear to be missing, but none of them really helps. Note the big changes first, they say. Fix the little things after.

But when everything seems like it's a mess, I don't know how to distinguish between big fixes and small ones. In the end, everything needs to be fixed, and I just have to slog through. However, there are some things that work for me, as frustratingly slow as they can be:

First make sure you're ready to edit.

Sometimes you have to trunk that book for a lot longer than you think. You have to give your brain a long enough break from it in order for new ideas to be formed. Put it away, as long as you can, and give your brain a break. Coming to your story fresh is the best way to start.

This doesn't sound like it works, and believe me, the temptation to dive right back into the book after a week or so is high, but give yourself decent break. Read some books, watch some movies. Shake up those weary creative drives in your brain for up to a month or more before you take another crack at it.

(If you're not tackling a large product, you can wait for a shorter period of time, probably. The longer the book or novel, the more of a rest you should have. If you're writing a fanfic chapter by chapter, the temptation to post immediately is high. Don't do it! Let it rest for a couple of days before reviewing it. You'll thank yourself later.)

Have an outline.

If you didn't start with an outline while drafting, laying out your plot where you can see it will really help you figure out what threads need strengthening. My favorite technique is flashcards and sticky notes that have a short summary of the chapter or scene. Both can be easily rearranged, removed, or shuffled about.

If you have a multiple POVs, color-coding your chapters can help you lay out how much progress each character has made and what areas of the story might need shoring up.

Another thing that can be of help is reworking character sheets or notes. I've been struggling with a particular character who I adore, but who's motivation I've been having trouble nailing. For this draft, I've been able to figure out what the thorn in their side was and write a much stronger story for them as a result.

Slog through from the beginning.

Yes, some people can dive right into those problem areas. Boo to those people, I say. Boo. For me, the only thing that works is to start from the beginning and work through each chapter at a time. Yes, this does involve getting stuck on how to fix things. There is a lot of dramatic lying on floors and pestering my completely bewildered cat when I hit a wall.

But starting at the beginning allows me to see where I need to slot in elements I only started to figure out later in the book. It allows me to weave in foreshadowing and pick up subplots at the right places, rather than throwing them in when I think of them. This method may mean you'll have redraft a few times, and yes, I have to start from the beginning each time. But it does work, even if it takes time.

Just don't ask how many drafts I've done of this damn book I'm working on.

[unomi-well]

To people who are complaining about the recent movie adaptation of Dune I would like to point out a few things and share some opinions:

Any novel no matter how descriptively it is written cannot be hundred percent adapted exactly as is because when you read a book every single person has a unique understanding and imagination and interpretation. So it’s impossible for any filmmaker to capture everything on the page to the screen as is and satisfy everyone.

The things that were changed make so much sense and yes as fans of the books we might have wanted to see some of our favourite scenes or arcs but the movie has stayed so truthful to the soul of source and the amount of detail and hardwork that has gone into the making justified all of those changes.

If you think that the actors did a bad job you might as well start calling the 80s adaptation as the best film adaptation ever made. You don’t have to like their performance entirely but to totally disregard it is just ignorance.

Think about how much believable the movies looked like, I’m talking specifically about the setting, the world where it’s all taking place. For comparison take any other contemporary scifi movie made and think how much you feel is believable (I don’t want to slander Star Wars here because I love them too but then Dune has completely changed my view on how a sci-fi film should be made). Like yes a desert planet where people recycle their own bodily fluids seems like something actually a human would do for survival

If you didn’t like the changes made to Chani’s character you are a straight up misogynist. I won’t explain this point because this whole post is targeted at the books fans and if you have read the book you should understand why I said it.

Denis’s dedication to this movie is literally oozing out of the screen, each frame, the dialogues. The whole cast and crew has given their all and you can obviously tell. If you can’t well you didn’t pay attention.

The biggest reason I keep talking about the dedication that went into making the film is because it is a big budget movie with larger than life characters and settings and this easily could have gone wrong in every way possible but the massive scale was used as a tool like a cog in a machine that it just made sure that it was just enough to keep the machine working smoothly and not overwhelming anyone. Like for example the exotic locations and CGI were just enough to make the audience understand the setting of the story rather than show off how advanced the technology used was.

So these are just a few thoughts I have wanted to share for sometime especially after reading the book and getting a more deeper understanding of the story. Feel free to add more. Whenever I come across a blatantly biased criticism of the movie vs book thing I get irritated especially with a movie made with such heart and soul. And I absolutely admire the effort that went into this particular adaptation. I highly recommend watching the interviews of Rebecca, Timothee and Denis because the way they are passionate about the project is unlike anything I have seen from movie stars in the last few years.

[the-boy-meets-evil]

take my hands (we can fall together) | lee chan | pt. 2

(where you and chan are friends, but he's your brother's best friend. and you've always been just a little out of reach. until one season changes everything.) pairing: brother's best friend!chan (dino) x f!reader genre: friends to ??, pining, slow burn | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut rating: explicit (for the full fic) warnings/notes: mentions of unhealthy relationships (reader x boyfriend), mentions of food, mentions of drinking/alcohol, halloween parties, mentions of cheating, reader's boyfriend is an asshole, reader's brother is chan's age and reader is 2 years older, eventual smut (in pt 3 - see that for warnings), any names of other idols are considered to be OCs word count: ~7.7k (full fic is roughly 23k) a/n: huge thanks to @svthub for hosting this fall collab. check out the full list of fics here. make sure you go back and read part 1 for context, this is part 2 (so only 1 part left!). also thank you to my bby indi for creating an amazing banner @classicscreations. if you want to be tagged in the last part send an ask or dm or just comment 💕

tagging: @christinewithluv @aaniag @dejavernon @tbzhub @bitchlessdino @seungkwansphd

part 1 | masterlist | part 3

When there’s multiple nights of dressing up for Halloween, it’s harder to put as much effort into costumes. At least that’s how Chan feels about it. So, he knows that he’s taking the easy way out by dressing up as one of the Kens from the recent Barbie movie, but he’s also not really bothered about trying to come up with something more elaborate. Not when it’s a Saturday night and they’re all going to a house party. He’s got another costume planned for the night of actual Halloween that he put a little more thought into. 

He’s also sure to arrive a little later, because this is one of Seokmin’s friends and Chan doesn’t really know the people hosting the party. It’s not like that matters, really. Things like this are always pretty open as long as you know someone there. Even though Seokmin said he’d be there early helping to set up, Chan still doesn’t want to be that guy that shows up at an inappropriate time. The unexpected tradeoff is that he sees you before he even gets to the front door. It’s almost comical to see that you’re dressed up as one of the Barbies from the movie. It’s hard to tell which one under your coat. Not that it’s surprising. Chan figures you won’t be the only ones to pick a Barbie theme. Still, it’s like you coordinated without even meaning to. You force a smile when you notice him, and he sees that you’re on the phone.

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” Your voice sounds angry when it reaches Chan’s ears. 

He hesitates when he’s far enough away to give you space, yet still close enough that he can offer support if you need it.

“No, I always have to understand. I don’t have to understand tonight. It’s a Saturday night and we planned this party weeks ago,” you retort. 

Chan figures he probably should let you be because it’s clear that you’re talking to your boyfriend. It could be a minute before this particular conversation ends. Your eyes watch Chan as he goes to step around you and you reach out to grab his arm. You mouth “please wait” to him. That’s enough to make him stop completely.

“It’s not just a stupid Fall tradition. This is Halloween. Everyone celebrates Halloween,” you start and then roll your eyes. “Yes, I’m aware that you’re 28, but what 20-something doesn’t celebrate Halloween? Be so fucking for real.”

It’s hard to know where to look because all Chan can focus on is your tone. It’s not upset or defeated. It’s angry. Maybe you’ve had something to drink already, maybe you’re just fed up. He wouldn’t blame you. 

“Forget about it, Seungsik. You do whatever it is you have to do,” you say, pausing for him to speak. “Yeah, I heard you say you have to work but it’s a Saturday night. So, you do what you’re gonna do and I’ll be with my friends. Don’t bother coming over if you were even still considering it.”

Your hand is still on Chan’s arm, not that he would leave anyway. It would be awkward to stay this long only to leave when the conversation is clearly over. 

“Yeah, sure, we can talk tomorrow,” you say. You don’t say a goodbye or an “I love you” before hanging up.

“Let me guess, Seungsik bailed again?” Chan asks. He knows he shouldn’t sound so snarky about your boyfriend and also doesn’t care.

“Shocking, right?” you snort. 

“Well, at least you still have friends here,” Chan says and motions for you to head into the house ahead of him. 

You remove your coat and Chan tries not to stare at your Mermaid Barbie costume. He removes his own jacket and your eyes show your amusement before a laugh escapes your lips.

“Looks like I still have a Ken to my Barbie, too,” you joke. 

“You mean Jay didn’t tell you I was coming as Ken?” Chan jokes back. 

“Wait, was he supposed to?” you worry.

“No,” Chan assures you. “I’m not sure he was even listening when we talked about costumes. This was kinda last minute.”

“Well, we should take a picture anyway, we look good together,” you suggest.

“I’m down,” Chan agrees, too quickly. 

Two of you end up, mostly unintentionally, spending a lot of the party together. People that don’t know you keep assuming that you’re there together and your friends think it’s funny, so they keep poking fun. At least it means that everyone stays in a good mood. It’s a little confusing, though, because you don’t correct the people that don’t know you about being there with Chan. At one point, you do ask Chan if he’s actually okay with how close you’ve stuck to him. You make something of a joke about not wanting to keep him from anyone. It’s confusing. It tugs at Chan’s heart as a reminder that even if you’re fighting with him, you do have a boyfriend. Maybe that’s something to consider. But, he shakes it off and insists that he doesn’t mind. Your shoulders fall in relief and you admit that it’s comfortable being around him. You don’t want to talk about the argument, so it helps that Chan knows some of what happens. You like it that he doesn’t ask you too many questions that you know you can’t answer. 

It’s also a little surprising that even at this house party, which is relatively small because the house isn’t huge, you and Chan are the only Barbie and Ken. It seems like everyone thought it would be too common of a costume and tried to think outside of the box. Or some people just were lazy and wanted to save their better costume for the actual night of Halloween. 

“You’re glued to my sister,” Jay observes when Chan excuses himself to get a drink.

“I’m not glued, we just keep ending up together,” Chan disagrees.

“Yeah, seems kinda glued. And you came back in with her after she left to take a call,” Jay says.

“Oh, yeah, I walked up and she was talking to Seungsik. I figured I’d wait for her to come back in,” Chan says. He’s not going to tell your brother that you asked him to wait for you.

“I notice he’s not here,” Jay tries to say casually. 

“He’s not coming,” Chan shares. Jay goes to open his mouth and Chan cuts him off. “I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why he’s not coming, you’ll have to ask her. But, she seemed kinda pissed off at him on the phone, so maybe let her enjoy tonight and deal with the bullshit tomorrow.” 

“I’m glad she has you,” Jay says.

“Not you too,” Chan starts.

“No, I mean literally. You’ve been a good friend to her with all the bullshit over that asshole,” Jay says, irritation clear in his voice. “Wish she’d just break up with him, but if I say that, I’m being over protective.”

“I dunno, I think she’s probably closer than you realize,” Chan shrugs. 

You come rushing into the kitchen. “Come on, Chan, we have to go crush it at beer pong.” 

“Forgetting her brother again. Good luck, man,” Jay laughs out.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” you chide before pulling Chan away with a drink in each of his hands.

He’s more than a little thankful for Jay not calling him on making two drinks. It’s obvious when you show up that the other is for you, yet Jay just lets him be. It makes it easier for Chan to focus on beer pong. You’re at that perfect buzzed point, apparently, where you assure him that you’re going to be at your best. Even though it sounds kind of bullshit, he goes along with it. 

It’s not bullshit, Chan learns two turns into the game. You sink both of your shots without even hitting the rim of the cup. Meanwhile, Chan is just thankful to make one on his second try so you don’t insist you’re carrying the team. You might be, or Chan might be a little distracted by the way you line up your shot. Might be a little distracted by the way you lean up against him. Might be a little distracted every time his arm brushes against your bare skin. Might be a little distracted by the way you celebrate with him every time either of you makes a shot. It’s easy to see why people who don’t know you assume you’re here with him. It’s harder for Chan to remember that’s not true when he’s watching you out of the corner of his eye. 

After you win at beer pong, both of you find your way to a quieter part of the house. The party feels a little stifling and you want some air. Chan agrees, but it’s a little too cold to just sit outside. Instead, you settle for a quiet corner. This time you don’t ask if it’s okay to be stealing all of Chan’s time. Either because you can tell he doesn’t mind. or you’re trusting him to say if he did mind, he’s not sure. 

Now that you’re a little buzzed, not drunk, just feeling a little happier, you’re ready to talk about how things are really going with Seungsik. It’s immediately a lot more honest than Chan is expecting and infinitely more heartbreaking. He’s working crazy hours, claiming that he’s up for some big promotion and has to put in the time. He’s canceling plans on you left and right. He’s making you feel silly for wanting to do all these Fall things. You feel silly for even complaining about it, but Chan interjects to remind you that it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. It’s hard to only be supportive when you’re admitting that you feel like there’s something you’ve been doing wrong and that’s why he’s doing all of this. Despite Chan insisting it’s definitely not you, he can tell that you don’t fully believe it. 

It’s like you’re in this weird limbo because you’ve been dating him for over six months, which feels long enough that it’s serious. But, you’ve only been dating him for like six months, which you say also feels like you shouldn’t be overbearing. You’ve always wanted partners to have the freedom they need. Always been really adamant about maintaining your own friendships and hobbies outside of your partner. That’s important. You don’t ever want to be one of those people that gets into a relationship and forgets about their friends. Those are the people who’ve been there through all the shit. There’s a part of you that feels like that’s being used against you with Seungsik. Every time you tell him that you miss him or want him to do something, he reminds you that you suggested keeping some hobbies separate from each other. Chan is quick to tell you that there’s a difference. It sounds like he’s using your well-meaning words as an excuse to not see you as much, which is weird. 

Somehow, you both come to a silent agreement that you don’t really want to dwell on your issues with Seungsik, anymore. You’re just happy to have someone that’s willing to let you vent and then let you move on. Sure, Chan shares his opinions and reminds you as often as he can get away with that you do deserve someone who values you. Then, he also lets you get away with moving the conversation on to lighter things. Even though Chan’s known you for over ten years, there’s still so much about you that he doesn’t know. And he’s not sure what’s shifted, but something definitely has. You’re much more open in the way you talk to him lately, much freer with your words. It’s comfortable, kind of like a warm blanket. 

By the time the party is winding down, Chan is essentially sober, having spent so much time just sitting and talking to you. You’re still a bit buzzed, but well on your way to sobering up. Chan planned to leave his car here and pick it up tomorrow (well, later today since it’s the early hours of the morning) and instead he can drive home. He offers to give you a ride as well, which you happily take to avoid paying for a ride. None of the rest of your friends, except for Jay, seem to be around, but he’s very caught up talking to someone. Good for him, Chan thinks.

The car ride back to your apartment is comfortably quiet. Aside from you asking if you could pick the music, you’ve just been softly singing along and looking out the window. It’s nice at this time of night, too. Everything else is quiet, just the traffic of people heading home for the night, whether it’s to their homes or someone else’s. It’s not until he gets to your house that Chan gets a text from Jay that makes him frown. “Everything okay?” you ask, hand on the door to get out of the car.

“Yeah, just Jay hoping I’m not headed home because he brought someone home with him,” Chan says. “I’ll just be quiet when I go in and put my headphones on.”

“Or you could just crash here tonight,” you offer and Chan grips the steering wheel a little harder to steady his nerves. 

“I couldn’t do that,” he says, causing you to turn back to him. 

“Do you really wanna hear whatever my brother is up to?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, no, but it’s also not like it would be the first time,” he responds with a chuckle. 

“Come on, weirdo, you can sleep on my couch and I’ll make us breakfast in the morning,” you say, getting out of the car without waiting to see if Chan is following you. 

Of course he is, though. He scrambles to get the keys out of the car and hurry after you. Once you’re inside your apartment, you put a pot on the stove to boil some water. Insist that you need some tea before you can sleep. While the water is boiling, you go to the closet to pull out some blankets. It’s entirely too comfortable, both the couch and the way you move around him. Something he can’t fully ignore when you sit down with a cup of tea for each of you.

“Are you sure it’s okay that I’m here?” Chan asks.

“Why wouldn’t it be? You were nice enough to give me a ride home and it’s my brother that’s sexiling you,” you reason.

“What if Seungsik shows up tomorrow?” he asks.

You take a sip of your tea and then look over at him. “He’s not really the type to show up unannounced. Besides, why would it be weird to offer to let a friend crash?” 

“You’re right,” Chan concedes. 

“Plus, he hasn’t been over for breakfast in weeks and I miss cooking for someone,” you say. 

It’s kind of hard to argue with that, not that Chan wants to. Well, he’d like to argue that it’s bullshit that Seungsik has you feeling whatever you’re feeling. It’s complete crap that he doesn’t appreciate what an amazing person you are. It’s just not healthy. But, at the end of the day, it’s also not Chan’s place, so he just lets it go. 

You get up to wash out the cups when you’re finished with your tea and disappear into your small spare room. It doesn’t have a bed, because you use it as an office area, but apparently it does have clothes that you loan to Chan. The protest is on his lips when you cut him off to say that they’re Jay’s clothes he’s left here when he’s crashed. That’s much better than the clothing belonging to your boyfriend. When he comes back out of the bathroom, you’re in an oversized t-shirt and shorts, obviously ready for bed. He clears his throat to be able to say goodnight and pads out to the couch. It’s even more comfortable to sleep on than you said, but Chan’s brain won’t slow down enough to fall asleep. All he can think of is just how…domestic this all feels. How easy it is to be around you. Again. 

Though it takes him a while to drift off, he actually feels like he gets a good night of sleep. The smell of coffee slips into his consciousness while he’s in that in-between state before he’s fully awake. When he opens his eyes, he can tell that you’re trying to be quiet, not wanting to disrupt him. Even though it’s your apartment and you can make as much noise as you’d like. Chan opens both of his eyes and finds your back to him as you look into the fridge. Possibly deciding what you want to make. Your hair is in a knot on top of your head and you’re still wearing that oversized t-shirt and shorts. Everything about you seems relaxed. Until you close the door and turn towards the living room to see him awake. You jump a little and your hand flies to your heart.

“Oh my god, I didn’t realize you were awake,” you share after a moment.

“Sorry,” Chan says and throws his hands up. 

“No, I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” you wonder and he shakes his head. “I was trying to figure out what’s for breakfast.” 

“You really don’t…” he starts.

“I promised breakfast and you’re getting breakfast,” you interrupt. “Plus, look outside.” 

It’s a confusing request, but Chan gets up off the couch anyway to look out the window. As soon as he moves the curtain aside, he sees how hard it’s raining. He’s a little surprised that he didn’t hear it. And he’s definitely not overly eager to leave in that.

“Guess you have company for breakfast,” he says when he turns back to you. 

Your whole face lights up and you let out a squeak. “I can’t wait, oh my god, I have so many recipes I’ve been wanting to try.” 

“Like?” he prompts. 

“Do you trust me?”  you ask instead.

That’s a dangerous question. One that Chan isn’t sure he really wants to answer, because the answer is that yes, he trusts you far more than he should. Probably more than he’s trusted anyone else. The last month or so of all these activities has only reinforced that. Instead, he pretends to consider it for a second, buys himself some time.

“I guess, you haven’t poisoned me yet,” he says, voice surprisingly even.

“I hate you,” you joke with an eye roll. 

“I’ll remember that,” he teases back. 

To do something helpful, Chan gets up and folds the blankets he used to sleep and asks you where they go. Once they’re safely away in your closet, he texts Jay to say that he’s still at your apartment and having breakfast at least. Jay sends back an inappropriate number of emojis and says he’s going to make use of the extra time alone with whoever it is he brought home. Thankfully, he only makes one joke about being replaced as the favorite sibling, which Chan answers that you’re a better cook. Was it ever really a contest? 

To avoid being entirely useless, Chan makes both of you a cup of coffee. You’re about to tell him how you like it when he asks if you trust him. As he hands over the perfect cup and turns around to make his own, he misses the look on your face that he knows exactly how you like your coffee. It’s a mix of wonder and surprise. When you tell him it’s the perfect cup, you’re not even lying. He also can’t resist peeking to see what it is you’re working on, despite your attempts to swat him out of the kitchen.

“Is that French toast?” Chan asks, eyes wide.

“Yeah, I know it’s kinda simple, but I had some really good bread that was going a little stale and I’ve been wanting to try a new mixture,” you say.

“French toast is my favorite, I don’t think it’s simple,” Chan admits.

“I think I remember you mentioning that, actually,” you comment. It’s so offhand that Chan doesn’t think twice about it. There’s so many things he remembers about you that he’s thankful something about him sticks too. 

While you continue making breakfast, Chan asks where the syrup is so that he can warm it up a little. He doesn’t like it cold and neither, apparently, do you. You also don’t like fake syrup so you direct him to where you keep it in the fridge. It looks like it’s some small company that you probably got directly from the shop on some adventure. That’s definitely one great part about living in this part of the country, you’re never far from good syrup. It makes the whole apartment smell like maple and the cinnamon from the toast. And something else that Chan can’t really place. But it makes everything feel warm and comforting despite the rain that’s only coming down harder outside now. Maybe Chan doesn’t hate everything about Fall.

Unsurprisingly, it’s the best French toast he’s ever had. Something he’s quick to tell you and you’re quicker to brush off like he’s just being nice. It’s just as easy to chat with you in the light of day in your apartment as the haze of the house party the night before. It’s harder to ignore the way your phone periodically lights up with Seungsik’s name. Harder still to ignore is the fact that it’s just his name. No hearts or emojis or pet names. It’s almost impersonal, not that Chan should be passing judgment.

“Are you going to answer him?” he finally asks.

“No,” is your immediate answer. 

“But…” Chan starts and you level him with a look.

“He doesn’t get to have things on his terms when he couldn’t even come to a fucking Halloween party last night,” you say. 

“Have you talked to him since…” he starts to ask before trailing off.

“Since I was fighting with him on the phone and you walked up?” you finish for him.

“Yeah, that,” he says.

“I read one text from him asking why I was posting matching costumes with you, even though my caption on it was clear and he’s literally all over my page,” you share. “So, I didn’t answer that. I texted him when I woke up to say that I hadn’t read whatever he sent and that I was mad from last night and would maybe talk to him this afternoon or tonight.” 

“He doesn’t seem to have gotten it,” Chan comments as your phone lights up again with his name.

“No, he doesn’t. But that’s also not my problem. Not everything is going to be on his terms,” you say. 

“I’m glad,” Chan admits. 

“About what? Me fighting with Seungsik?” you wonder and Chan’s eyes go wide at the realization.

“No, oh my god, no,” Chan rushes out. “No, I’m just glad that you’re not letting it all be on his terms. You’re worth a lot more than how he’s been treating you.”

“Thanks, I think so too,” you slightly tease. 

Breakfast turns into you asking Chan to watch a show, which turns into him spending the entire afternoon lounging on the couch. You talk a little more about your relationship and what you might say to him when you finally text him back. Chan also tells you some things he’s looking forward to coming up and about some plans he has with your brother and Vernon. Sometimes, you’re just quiet while watching the show, but that’s comfortable too. Eventually, though, Chan realizes that he has to leave. He knows that you’re using at least part of him being there to avoid talking to your boyfriend. Not that it’s the only reason. It’s clear you enjoy having him around, too. But eventually you have to talk to Seungsik and so Chan finally says that he has to head home. Jay is starting to wonder where he is anyway. 

It’s not that Chan really wants to be out and dating, but he also thinks that it might help to get his mind off of you. Even though he loves every minute of being around you, it’s also getting harder. Especially when the time spent together includes things like the Halloween party and crashing at your apartment. He wants to be a good friend to you, but at what cost to his heart? No part of him feels entitled to your attention and he’s not even sure if he would be a better partner to you than Seungsik. It isn’t even about him anymore, not really. Not now that he’s spent all this time with you. It’s just about wanting you to find your own happiness that doesn’t come from a partner. Which is why he agrees to go out for drinks with a friend of a friend, Carla, that asked him weeks ago. What’s the worst that could happen?

He’s meeting her at some trendy bar downtown where the music is usually too loud to hear anything. Not exactly the ideal place for a first date, but maybe that will make it all easier. He does like to dance. And he knows the drinks are good. It’s also always pretty busy, making it easier to blend into the crowd. What’s weirder, though, is that she asks Chan to just meet her there. Again, not Chan’s first choice, but he goes along with it all the same. It’s thankfully very easy to spot her once he gets there.

She’s standing by the bar, her long dark hair framing her face and wearing a dress that clings to her in ways that should be against the law. The moment she locks her eyes on Chan, he thinks maybe he can do this. Maybe it’ll all be easy and fine. They exchange a quick hello, get their drinks, and then it’s right onto the dance floor. 

Time seems to move in odd ways. It could have been ten minutes just as easily as an hour. All Chan knows is that he needs another drink. When he says that to Carla, she agrees and says she’s going to run to the bathroom. They can meet at the bar. Once Chan makes it to the bar, his stomach drops. He looks back out at the dance floor and sees Seungsik with a stranger, that is definitely not you, tight against him. Some bottle blonde presses her ass further back into him and he grabs her hips. As Chan looks at them, Seungsik ghosts his lips across her neck, moves a hand up her stomach. The woman turns around in his arms and pulls him in for a kiss. Seungsik’s hands grip her ass, dangerously close to causing her dress to ride up. It isn’t until Seungsik pulls the woman off the dance floor and into the shadows that Chan realizes just how bad things are. 

Carla seems disappointed when Chan says that something’s come up and he’s got to leave, but perks up when he says that they’ll find another time. He’s not even sure if he should be giving her hope, he just wants to get out of there as soon as possible. Once he’s in the Uber, he texts Jay to ask if he’s home or if he’s got company. The answer that he’s alone in the apartment comes quickly.

“Thought you had a date,” Jay says when Chan comes through the door. “Unless you’re angling for a threesome. I’d have to turn you down though.” 

“Come on, man,” Chan says as he collapses on the couch. He runs a hand through his hair without thinking about it.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Jay asks, he’s coming back from the kitchen with a bottle of water.

“It’s about your sister,” Chan admits. It’s clear that Jay wasn’t expecting that, but his surprise disappears quickly.

“Wow, are you finally admitting you’re in love with her?” Jay jokes. “Can’t say I’m surprised, but also it could’ve waited?” 

“No, it’s not that. Well, I don’t know, it’s about Seungsik,” Chan says.

“So you’re not in love with my sister?” Jay questions.

“Can we not do this right now? This is serious,” Chan begs.

“Fine, we’ll come back to that. What about Seungsik? Other than he’s been a total dick about all the Fall shit,” Jay says as he leans back further into the couch.

“It’s more than that, he’s lying to her,” Chan states.

“What?” Jay needs Chan to connect the dots and it’s a lot harder than it seems.

“He’s, fuck Jay, he’s lying to her. He isn’t working late. At least not all the time. He was at the club with some girl, grinding, making out, dragging her off to some dark corner,” Chan says. 

The color drains from Jay’s face. “Are you…fuck, are you sure it was him?” 

“I’m positive,” Chan says. 

“You’ve got to tell her,” Jay says after a moment.

“I thought it might be better coming from you,” Chan hopes.

Jay frowns like he’s considering something. “I’m not sure it would. I don’t even mean because you saw Seungsik. It’s just that she’s seemed to kind of rely on you lately. It’s you she was with apple picking and picking out pumpkins. You she spent all of that Halloween party with. She trusts you.” 

“Well I’d hope she does, we’re friends,” Chan tries to joke.

“I’m not trying to fuck with you, I know I started by saying you were in love with her, but I just think it’s different,” Jay says.

“So you don’t think I’m in love with her?” Chan wonders.

“Oh, no I definitely do. I’m just not gonna bust you over it right now,” Jay says. 

“I’m scared to tell her,” Chan admits. 

“She deserves to know, though,” Jay points out. 

He’s right. You do deserve to know. You deserve a lot of things that Seungsik seems unwilling to give. At the very least, though, you deserve respect. What Chan needs help with is figuring out just how to bring it up with you. Jay is right, you and him have been spending a lot more time around each other than normal. Chan’s been more than happy to keep you company to do all the things that Seungsik doesn’t want to. What he’s not prepared for, however, is this. 

Even though it sounds dumb, Chan listens to Jay and asks you to come over to help him make a couple pies for a family get-together. He does have to go over to his aunt’s tomorrow, something you’re very aware of as you and Jay are also invited, and you are excellent when it comes to pies. Chan had just been planning to buy a couple, but this is a ready-made excuse. Even if he thinks it’s dumb. He’s a little surprised that you agreed since he only texted you the same day. Then again, maybe that’s not so surprising.

You breeze in with ingredients, including some that he already has, and immediately get to work laying everything out. He realizes, as you’re looking through his cupboards and scolding him over the lack of organization, how domestic this all feels. Again. It’s not as if he didn’t realize how much he liked you. No, it’s that he realizes he may love you and he’s going to have to tell you something that will break your heart. Best to get it out of the way early before you start baking. Just in case you want to leave.

“Where’s my brother? Avoiding helping in the kitchen?” you wonder. 

“No, he went to help Vernon test out a new game,” Chan says.

“You didn’t wanna go?” you ask.

“I kinda figured I needed to make sure I didn’t show up empty-handed tomorrow,” Chan starts. “I was surprised you agreed to come over on such short notice.”

“Oh, well, I didn’t have anything else to do and I can’t exactly leave you in your time of need,” you say, trying for casual and failing. 

“Wow, I feel the love,” Chan jokes back.

“Chan, you were going to use fake vanilla in your pies,” you scoff. 

It’s hard to keep the smile off his face, despite the news he has to share, as he throws his hands up. “I didn’t know there was a difference!”

“Tragic,” you sigh. “Plus, well, I don’t know. I like hanging out with you.” 

“I like it too,” Chan says. It comes out as little more than a whisper and his heart constricts.

“You’ve made this whole season so much better,” you admit. 

“Yeah, I could say the same for you. I didn’t really get the big deal about Fall before,” Chan shares.

“You didn’t?” you ask. Chan just shakes his head. “But you agreed.”

“Like you said, I couldn’t leave you in your time of need,” Chan jokes.

You playfully shove his arm. “Do you get it now? The appeal of Fall?” 

“I do, yeah. I’ve had a lot of fun,” Chan agrees.

“Wish Seungsik felt the same,” you utter. 

That’s it. That’s the opening, the best one he’s going to get. He has to take a deep breath to steel himself. “Where is he today anyway?”

“Seungsik?” you ask to confirm or to stall, it’s unclear which. After another nod, you sigh. “I don’t really know. He told me he had to stay late on a project and then was going to possibly get drinks with a friend at this little dive bar by his office. I hadn’t heard from him when you texted me to ask for help.”

“Did he say who he was meeting?” Chan presses.

You give him a weird look. “I don’t know. Sejun, probably. I don’t know all of his friends, though. Why are you asking?”

“Come here,” Chan says and pats a stool at the counter. It’s clear you think he’s being weird, or at least weirder than normal, but you listen anyway. “I don’t think he was with a friend. At least, I don’t think he was with Sejun.”

“What do you know?” you ask, eyes intent on searching his face.

“I, well I was out at that place you don’t like because it’s too, what do you usually say?” 

“Try hard trendy,” you supply with a scoff. 

“Right, well I was out and I saw Seungsik there. I didn’t recognize who he was with, but it didn’t seem like a friend. She was blonde and wearing something really revealing, grinding up on him, kissing him. I don’t know, maybe there’s…” Chan hasn’t thought this part out, not really. He feels awkward. 

“Maybe there’s an explanation?” you snort. “I’m sure there is. I’m sure it’s that he’s cheating on me like I’ve assumed he was for the past month.”

“I’m so sorry…wait, you what?” Chan splutters.

Of all the outcomes he prepared for, your immediate acceptance hadn’t been one of them. He’s expecting tears and you asking if he’s sure. He’s expecting you to wonder if you did something wrong. He’s expecting all the tearful things you see in movies. Except this isn’t a movie, it’s real life. And you don’t seem surprised, at all. Somehow, that feels worse. Then, he remembers how you were at the Halloween party. How you were the day after. Maybe it makes some amount of sense. It wasn’t the same as before you went apple picking. It wasn’t meek, it was angry. Pissed off. This is more like that.

You stand and shake your head. “I’m not blind and I’m not stupid.” 

“I never said you were,” Chan interrupts immediately.

“Oh, no Channie, I know you didn’t,” you say, voice soft like he’s the one that needs to be protected. “I think I’m saying that to myself. I knew something was wrong. I knew he was up to something. He’s never been the best boyfriend, but he got really secretive. He blew me off a lot and just pretended it was because he hated this season.”

“Which is bullshit, by the way. It shouldn’t matter how you feel about something. You at least try for someone you care about,” Chan insists.

“Yeah, he was quick to have something to say about me spending time with you,” you admit. That brings Chan up short.

“What? We did most of the stuff as a group,” Chan points out. 

“I wouldn’t think too much about it. It felt wrong when he said it. Like he was deflecting from his shitty behavior rather than commenting on something I’d done,” you say.

“I’m really so sorry, you deserve so much better than everything he’s done to you,” Chan says. 

“You know, that’s the first time you’ve actually said it to me, at least in so many words,” you observe.

“Said what? That you deserve better?” Chan questions. Your face is a bit sad as you nod. “It sounds hollow to say, at best, or judgmental, at worst.”

“I could tell you thought it, though, even if you didn’t say it,” you share. “You said at the Halloween party that I deserved someone who valued me, but you didn’t actually say I deserved better.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it,” Chan says with a sigh.

“Don’t be, I wasn’t ready to hear it,” you assure him. “Besides, you’re one of the only people who shouldn’t be sorry to me. About anything.”

“Do you want to talk about it? About Seungsik and the relationship and what you’re going to do next?” Chan asks. 

You look at him for a minute. “On two conditions.”

“Which are?” 

“That you let me help you make pies if you do actually need them,” you begin. 

“I do,” Chan interrupts.

“And you have to promise not to pull any punches when it comes to your opinions. I want flat out honesty or I don’t want anything.”

“Deal.” 

It turns out that it’s still surprisingly easy to be around you. Obviously you’re sad. You’re hurt. There’s part of you that wonders what you’ve done wrong. But, there’s this vibrancy about you that’s been missing the last several months. The laughs come easier, the brightness in your eyes says you’re up to something, and you’re picking on Chan’s complete inability to make a pie at every chance you get.

In between making the pies, Chan is honest, just like he promised. Maybe a little too honest. He’s got a lot of opinions about the things Seungsik did, or usually didn’t do, and how nobody deserves to feel like the things they love are less important. When you share more about your relationship, Chan finds himself more irritated. It’s clear that you were dulling yourself down so that he didn’t find it annoying. Apparently, your laugh was too loud and you got excited about too many little things. You were too nice with new people and that was annoying because sometimes Seungsik didn’t want to be sucked into a conversation. Before he could stop himself, Chan was listing why those were some of the best things about you. He loves how everything about you brightens up when you’re passionate, loves that you can make anyone feel at home, loves how much you love life. 

Once you both get past bashing Seungsik, an activity that’s entirely too fun, you ask for Chan’s advice about how to break things off. He’s a little surprised that you seem so sure and that you don’t want to give him a chance to work through it. That’s when you remind him that things felt off, anyway. Remind him about the Halloween party. You’ve given Seungsik plenty of chances to not disappoint you. He’s missed all of them. And when you’re done, you’re done. In that case, Chan suggests that you catch Seungsik by surprise. Show up at his apartment without telling him and maybe he’ll even give you more reason to break it off. It’s blunt and honest and you thank him before he has a chance to second guess that level of honesty. 

“Chan, will you get the door?” his aunt calls from the kitchen after the bell chimes through the house. 

It takes a second to excuse himself from the conversation with his cousin and make his way towards the door. There’s no thought about who might be on the other side because he knows that his aunt always invites way more people than she should. She just loves to be surrounded by good people and good food. What Chan isn’t expecting, though he probably should be, is seeing you on the other side of the door with a bottle of wine and a bag of ice.

“Hey,” you say casually and hand the bag of ice over to Chan.

“Uh, hey, I wasn’t expecting you,” Chan says, “or a bag of ice?”

“Everyone always needs more ice at a party,” you provide with a shrug. “So, uh, are we gonna stand at the doorway or…”

“Is that who I think it is?” Chan’s aunt calls as she comes down the hallway. “Oh my god, it is. It’s my favorite almost niece!”

Chan steps aside so that his aunt can engulf you in a hug. It’s actually kind of sweet to see such a warm greeting. 

“I hope it’s okay, I didn’t think to let you know I’d be here,” you say.

“It’s always okay,” she says. “I’ll take any excuse to see you.”

“Actually, could I give you this ice? I wanted to have a quick chat with her about something before we eat,” Chan says to his aunt.

“Sure, I’ll take the wine too. You remembered my favorite, I see,” she says affectionately before disappearing back into the house.

“I suppose I don’t have to ask what this is about,” you joke.

“Come on, we’ll go this way,” Chan says without answering. 

The house isn’t nearly as familiar to you as it is to Chan, but you’ve been here enough to recognize that he leads you into a guest room. There are a couple chairs that save you from having to sit on the bed. That feels like it would be a little too intimate. All Chan wants to do is check that you’re okay. 

“I’m surprised you’re here,” Chan states.

“This time of year is about being with the people you care about,” you answer. “Plus, your aunt makes amazing food and I helped you with the pies. It felt like I should be here.” 

“I don’t think you’ve ever been here without Jay,” Chan says. 

It feels different to be alone with you like this. Going out on adventures, alone or in groups where you ended up together, was one thing. Different, yet easy to fall into. Crashing at your apartment after the Halloween party was entirely different from that, even if it ended up being easy. Having you at his apartment yesterday was surprisingly easy. But this, showing up at his aunt’s house without Jay and newly single, it feels weird. Not weird in a bad way, just weird. There’s almost an intimacy to it, like a glimpse into how things might have looked if everything was different. How it would be if you and him were together and spending time with his family. Yet, he also finds that’s not something he really wishes for anymore. It isn’t that he doesn’t still care about you, because that probably won’t ever change. It’s just that he cares more about helping you with your broken heart.

“Should I not have come?” you ask and Chan hates the way you seem smaller again.

“Of course you should’ve,” Chan rushes out. “I’m really happy you’re here. I’ve been wondering how you were since you left my apartment yesterday.” 

Once again, it’s too honest. It’s too vulnerable. Maybe it’s even too much of a burden to possibly admit that to you, but Chan also knows he needs to so he really can move past this. 

“You said the girl you saw him with on Friday night was blonde, right?” you ask and Chan nods. “I’m guessing it was the same girl that answered the door in his t-shirt.”

“What?” Chan nearly shouts.

“I didn’t even have to tell him that you saw him, which is probably a good thing. He can’t try to turn it around that you made it up,” you say. 

“I…is that a thing that he’d do?” Chan wonders because it’s easier to focus on.

You snort. “Yeah, he was convinced you were in love with me or something. Just another way he was deflecting from himself. Like men and women can’t be friends.” 

It’s hard to ignore the way his heart breaks a little at that. Yet the bigger issue is that you’re right, thinking men and women can’t be friends is insane. 

“You’ve been such a good friend to me,” you continue on. “I’m so thankful for that. I didn’t realize how much I needed to see an example of a guy just being kind and caring until you were right there.” 

“It’s pretty easy to be that to you,” Chan says because it’s honest and it’s real. 

“I broke up with Seungsik on the spot, obviously. He didn’t even try to deny it. Actually had the audacity to try and make it my fault. I guess she knew I existed too and didn’t care. Maybe I wouldn’t either if I was getting all his time like that,” you say, more like you’re talking to yourself.

“Yeah you would’ve, you’re too good a person for that,” Chan points out. 

“Maybe,” you concede. 

“I know it’s a cliche, but you really do deserve so much more than that. You deserve someone that’ll wake up every day and appreciate everything you bring to the table because it’s so much,” Chan says. 

“You have to say that, you’re my friend,” you deflect. 

“Oh no, I’ve been meaning to tell you, I don’t even really like you that much. I just stick around because of Jay,” Chan jokes and you laugh, bright and real. 

“Glad you finally admitted it,” you say. “Maybe you can tell that person, whoever they are, to hurry up and come find me.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Chan tells you. “I am glad you’re here, though.”

“Yeah, me too.” 

last part dropping 12/8 💕 let me know if you want to be tagged!

[shinneth]

My souring sentiments on Sailor Moon's manga

It'll be a surprise to no one who knows me even remotely that Sailor Moon was my everything back in my childhood. From the age of 9, I was utterly obsessed with it.

That was just a couple of years shy of 30 years ago.

Since then, I've often revisited the series. I watched the entirety of the Viz dub of the classic anime; all 200 episodes.

And I loved it all the same, if not more so than before. Because now I have context for why exactly the anime was the way it was, including its gradual diversion from the manga source material. And I respect the hell out of the staff who poured their life into this work, while concurrently running with the manga and doing whatever it could to not completely outpace it in the narrative.

Are there a lot of fillers in the OG anime? Yes. Too many? Well, not so from a functional standpoint (this show had to run weekly for 5 years), but there are definitely some fillers you could skip and miss nothing in doing so.

But a story like Sailor Moon honestly needed some breathing room in order to properly flesh out the cast.

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, the live-action reimagining of the show, was phenomenal back then (despite looking low-budget even by 2003 standards), and having re-watched the whole series recently, I can safely say PGSM more than holds up and deserves way more love and respect than it gets. It's THE perfect example of reimagining the story of Sailor Moon while still respecting its roots and maintaining the soul of the franchise.

Which is exactly why I couldn't stand Sailor Moon Crystal. We knew from the off that it was supposed to be completely faithful to the manga, but one look through @crystalvsmanga will show you Crystal took shitloads of "creative liberties", and the amount of changes I could dare to call "good"? I could count them on one hand.

The animation is low-hanging fruit, because everyone and their dog knows how godawful it was for the first two story arcs. But more than that, I actually loathed the general art design. Yukie Sakou's style DID NOT closely resemble Naoko Takeuchi's. People kept saying it, but I couldn't really see it. The eyes especially are a far cry from Takeuchi's style. And Sakou's style did NOT facilitate the OTT cartoony expressions that were definitely present in Takeuchi's manga; everyone looked so goddamn soulless, like overly-expensive porcelain dolls.

My biggest gripe with Crystal was the story, of course. While a great deal came from just being from the manga (which I'll get to in a bit), the changes they made went a long way to actively make the manga's story worse. My main takeaway from Crystal S1-2 is that it took itself waaaaay too seriously.

That being said, I did like Crystal's third season a lot better BECAUSE Chiaki Kon had way more competence and held a lot more respect for Sailor Moon. Like, my god, for once it felt like there was a soul in this show! It can actually take the piss every now and then!

Some silly things kinda broke my immersion (such as the Senshi just being able to fuckin' fly and Chibi-Moon in particular was literally sky-stepping), but most of that can be blamed on the source material it was adapting. While I was fine with Crystal3, I definitely didn't feel it was anywhere near as good as Sailor Moon S. Outside of Hotaru/Sailor Saturn having more of a presence, there wasn't really much in Crystal's take on Infinity that I liked better than S.

But most of that comes down to the fact that I liked S more than manga's Infinity arc to begin with.

Which is a good segue to talk about the manga proper.

I have not yet watched Eternal or Cosmos. the movies that adapted the last two manga arcs, but it'd be redundant since I know ahead of time what they're going to be about, and so far I haven't heard about any of them deviating from the source material, so it'd be moot to talk about them even if I had watched.

When I first got my hands on the manga, which was when I was around 12-13 and thus got the crappy MiXxZine translations, I was fine enough with it. Thought it was too fast-paced and didn't care for 99% of the villains being one-and-done jobbers, but I was also reading it with my impressions of the 90's anime characters still intact. I was reading the manga like an extension of the anime, rather than the other way around.

It wasn't until many years later when I grew older, when the manga was properly translated, when I acquired the wisdom my teenaged-ass self lacked, and learned to look at the manga as a completely separate entity that I started to see the cracks in the manga's narrative.

Further rereads have left me in something of a mindfuck, as I experienced the manga the proper way. And I realized:

The more I read the manga, the more I disliked it.

The manga is lauded for having an infinitely better depiction of Mamoru, as well as his ~Miracle Romance~ with Usagi.

Objectively, the manga definitely spends lots more time giving UsaMamo attention as a couple than any other aspect of the story...

I'd say they're also more developed as individuals in the manga too, but usually the beats, uh...

... let's say they usually ring hollow, when these two (and sometimes their daughter) are the only ones who consistently get shit done across the series. Hell, on the rare occasion that the Inner Senshi weren't rendered into street pizza, Neo Queen Serenity basically told them to fuck off and let her daughter, past self, and past hubby take on motherfucking DEATH PHANTOM/NEMESIS BY THEMSELVES.

It's likely because my first exposure to Sailor Moon was via the 90s anime, which had more of a focus on friendship and comradery between Usagi and her friends than it did her romance with Mamoru. I mean, romance was DEFINITELY a prominent thing even in that iteration of the story, but that wasn't where my interest lied. I was, am currently, and always will be more interested in Usagi's galpals than I'll ever be interested in her love life.

And, well, I'm sure this qualifies as a hot take, but...

This one moment with Usagi and Mamoru in the elevator (hell, their interaction across this entire episode was great) resonated with me far more than any ultra-romantic declarations of eternal devotion that Usagi and Mamoru kept regurgitating at each other in the manga.

Granted, the manga had a FEW moments early on where their dynamic was more playful, but they were pretty much confined to the early chapters and this element of their chemistry pretty much died not long after this.

Some say 90s anime Mamoru was far too mean-spirited in his teasing of Usagi. And I mean, sure, he was kind of a douche at times, but he usually got some karmic blowback from it (I remember one time he made Usagi cry without even really meaning to, and she cried so loud in public that randos nearby were giving Mamoru the evil-eye or a scolding). But honestly, after R, Mamoru kinda became a bland, generic love interest, just as he almost always was in the manga. The only difference was that anime Mamoru was never granted powers that were literally equal to Usagi's. The manga gave him a GOLDEN FUCKING CRYSTAL.

There was that infamous break-up arc in R that, yes, was shitty in concept and execution. But if I had anything positive to say about it, it at least shook up the status quo. It didn't make him immediately fall into the bland, generic love interest he would soon become. And it gave us some of the most emotionally-charged Usagi moments in the entire anime.

Conversely, in the manga, we had THIS shit for our UsaMamo "drama":

(the former incident with Usagi literally accusing her boyfriend of falling in love with a kid, by the way, happened while MOST OF HER FRIENDS WERE KIDNAPPED BY THE ENEMY AND COULD'VE BEEN DEAD FOR ALL SHE KNEW AND YET SHE FUCKING HAD TIME FOR THIS STUPID SHIT)

Everything seemed to revolve around Usagi and Mamoru (sometimes Chibiusa too). It lowkey came off that way at times even in the 90s anime, but in the manga or Crystal? You'd be hard-pressed to find the girls engaging in their stated hobbies at most points in time, because they're usually all together and talking about their prince and princess.

Hell, even Haruka - Sailor Uranus herself - seemed much more interested in Usagi than she ever did in Michiru, her actual girlfriend.

So... am I just missing something? I've seen people say that as they grow older, they prefer the manga/Crystal to the 90s anime. But I've never seen anyone other than myself express the opposite sentiment.

But it's true - unless I completely leave my brain at the door, I have a hard time enjoying the manga for what it is. The characters I'm most interested in or attached to quickly get swept aside for the characters I have the least interest in. No more does that ring true than the Stars arc of the manga, where Naoko Takeuchi basically speedruns killing off literally the entire cast until Sailor Moon's the only one left standing. Most characters don't even get to go out in a blaze of glory or anything - it's got nothing on the finale of the 90s anime's first season in that regard. If you're lucky, you'll get a single panel where your entire existence is ripped to shreds - but sometimes you'll be killed literally off-screen!!

There's a number of questionable manga-exclusive aspects that rubbed me the wrong way as well, such as poor Sailor Pluto being assigned as a child to guard the Door of Time in complete and total solitude. While I appreciate more Silver Millennium lore that the manga provided (the anime hardly mentioned it past the first arc), it was more than a little uncomfortable knowing the OG Queen Serenity conscripted the Inner Senshi as small children to become Princess Serenity's guardians. Really casts Queen Serenity and her Moon Kingdom in a much darker light - like maybe Queen Beryl and Queen Nehelenia had a point in trying to take them down (though the manga I believe retcons all past villains as incarnations of Chaos, so that arguably removes all prior villains' agency?). Lots of little things that I didn't think twice about, but now that I look at them again, I'm wondering WTF Naoko Takeuchi was thinking.

Though I don't want to be too hard on her. Poor girl was working under stress far longer than she'd planned to (she'd intended on ending the story either by the Dark Kingdom or Black Moon arc), so it's no surprise there's a lot of clunk and clutter in the narrative.

I often wondered if Naoko Takeuchi really wanted to make Sailor Moon with a Super Sentai-esque setup in the first place. After all, her first big hit was Sailor V, which was exclusively Minako and Artemis fighting evil with Minako having her own masked love interest she ended up being at odds with and he eventually died. With a scant few secondary characters here and there.

It led to me thinking about what Sailor Moon would be like if Naoko kept the cast to a more Sailor V-like size. That, perhaps, the Sailor Moon she really wanted to make would be quite a different beast from how we know it to be today.

So this lengthy diatribe about my personal conflicts with my waning fondness for the manga versus my strengthened love for the OG anime and live-action show was actually a preamble to a bizarre AU I wrote an outline for over a year ago but never posted in public. I had considered posting it to Sailor Moon's Reddit back then, but I (probably wisely) held off, as my musing went way off the rails.

But I figured now's a good time as any to share it here, at least. Though it'll need to be its own post since I wrote so goddamn much in this post alone, wow.

On that note, I'll end with this: The only iteration of UsaMamo that I unironically enjoyed and rooted for is...

[rosewaterandivy]

https://youtube.com/shorts/QuNRoe29bPA?feature=share

Something like that? PLS

Love you <3

Wow, thanks so much for the request! I tweaked it a bit to fill one of the prompts from here, hope that's okay. Love you 💜

83. “Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

When you told him what you and Eddie would be up to Saturday night, Steve groaned so loud you could swear the couch vibrated.

You can’t be serious. And leaving me at the mercy of the gremlins?

“Yes,” you grin, “I’m sure the Harrington babysitting service can handle it.” And then you’re off to get ready for the party. “Knowing you, you’ll probably have some hot date booked for after you’ve dropped the gremlins off.”

It’s not that Steve worries, really he doesn’t, because you’ll be with Eddie and Robin will show up at some point, so at least you’ll be safe. But Saturdays were for movies with the party, taking full advantage of Steve and Robin’s (five-fingered) employee discount at Family Video and hanging out.

Recently, it’s been the only time when he can see you—busy with work and classes and helping Eddie with his GED. All your free time was accounted for, used up, leaving nothing left for him.

He tried (and failed) to be accommodating about it.

This resulted in frequent calls to your house, which your mother or father usually answered with thinly veiled annoyance (Sorry Steve, she just left. No, I don’t know when she’ll be back), interrupted study sessions at Forest Hills (Eddie’s exasperated, ‘Dude, what the fuck. You’re infringing on my right to an education here.’), and drop-ins while you were working at the diner.

In short, it was becoming a problem.

So when you mentioned, last minute mind you, that Eddie needed a hand dealing for a party this weekend and you’d agreed to help out, Steve took it about as well as could be expected.

Which is to say, not at all.

It’s bad enough that he’s making them watch Rocky IV, according to Dustin. But Steve pays him no mind and pops the tape into the VCR. The kids grumble and complain, but otherwise occupy themselves by half-watching the saga of Rocky and Drago.

His leg won’t stop bouncing as he reclines against the couch. It continues for the whole movie. When the film concludes with Apollo’s tragic demise, Max starts sorting through the rest of the tapes.

“What else is in here?” Throws out a few titles as she sees them, The Color Purple, 101 Dalmations, Out of Africa—

“Nope!”

Steve nearly hip checks Lucas in his haste to wrestle the tape from Max. They grapple for a bit, nearly coming to blows but Steve’s not about to hit a child and a girl at that. This sense of chivalry does not stop Max from smacking him upside the head, but he’s victorious in the end.

“And why can’t we watch that particular one?” Dustin ventures with a curious glance to Lucas before Steve settles back on the couch between them.

“I’ll, uh,” he stashes the tape behind the sofa, wedges its case against the wall. “Tell you when you’re older.”

Dustin and Lucas continue to eye each other warily.

Then El pipes up, “Friends don’t lie.” And before Steve can stop her from what will inevitably be an embarrassing calamity—

“It’s a … sad movie,” she continues, “The last time he watched it, he cried.”

Oh. Shit.

He wants nothing more than to bash his head against the wall, but can’t risk another concussion according to the doctors and literally everyone else. Maybe the earth could swallow him whole instead? Anything to end this humiliation.

“Didn’t you watch that with—” Mike begins, because he is an asshole.

“Oh yeah,” Dustin confirms, “They watched it like, a few weeks ago. I mean, her crying I get,” he turns to Steve, an incredulous look on his face, “But you—”

“Robert Redford is a good actor, okay?” He rushes to defend himself, “Very convincing.”

“Okaaayy,” Max drawls.

An uncomfortable silence ensues. The kids settle on watching Clue while Steve takes an opportunity to refill drinks and snacks. Tries to ignore the furtive whispers from the living room. Tries to focus on the popcorn in the microwave and not imagining what you may be up to at the house party with Eddie.

“Why don’t you just ask her out already?” Will says when Steve returns from the kitchen. 

The group falls silent, awaiting his response. Keep your cool, Harrington. He sets the bowl of popcorn on the table, doing his best to ignore Will’s probing question. Is almost successful until—

“Steve, you’re literally in love with her.”

He scoffs at Lucas’ blatant betrayal. Helped the kid practice everyday after school leading up to tryouts and this is how he’s repaid? 

“No,” he says with a tone to convey the end of this conversation. “We’re friends, just friends and that’s it.”

A beat of silence as everyone pretends to watch as Tim Curry greets the six strangers upon their arrival to the mansion.

Dustin coughs. “Friends don’t look at each other the way you look at her, Steve.”

“Oh my god.” Max looks like she wants to brain herself on the edge of the coffee table at the stupidity of it all. 

“Fuck off.” Steve huffs in annoyance, “Like I’m gonna take advice from a bunch of high schoolers.”

“Dude.”

“We’ve saved the world.”

“Like, multiple times.”

“And,” El annoyingly points out, “It’s good advice.”

Thankfully, Steve is saved by the bell. The phone trills its ring from somewhere beneath the couch cushions. Unable to find the cordless, he’s forced to answer it in the kitchen.

“Harrington residence.”

There’s music thumping and cross chatter down the line as he tries to make out who’s calling.

“Steve?”

“Rob, that you?”

A laugh, “Yeah, s’me. How you doin’ babe?”

Her voice has taken on that light, dreamy cadence it gets when she’s tipsy or high and, knowing her, it’s probably both.

“Uh, fine.” He turns to check on the kids in the living room, “Watching Clue. Did you need something?”

“Oh my god,” she rasps, “I love that movie!” A hiccup followed by a chuckle. “Nah, I’m good babe. I’m calling for someone else.”

He doesn’t know what to make of that.

“Rob, you know you called my house, right? The kids are here, if you wanna talk to them but—”

“Nonono Stevie,” she says in a rush, “M’callin’ about your girl.”

“My… girl.”

“Yep.”

The sounds of the phone being handed off to someone else. A few breaths and then, “Hi Steve.”

And oh.

Your voice is low and breathy through the phone, he can hear you giggling about something to Robin as you pull the speaker away from your mouth ‘I’m on the phone Buckley.’

He melts, just a bit. Because he knows that tone very well— when you fall asleep leaning against his shoulder during movie nights or take a brief nap sitting shotgun in his car, all raspy and sweet. 

“Hey honey,” he coos, voice incredibly fond. Steve turns, closing himself off from the din in the living room. “Y’doin’ okay?”

“Mmhm, tired though.”

“Is that right?’

A yawn. “Yeah,” he can hear the pout in your voice, “Rob doesn’t wanna leave yet and Eddie went upstairs with someone like, forever ago.”

Steve’s already grabbing his keys from the counter. “Stay with Robin, okay? I’m coming get you.”

“Thanks Stevie,” you sigh prettily, “You’re the best.”

_

Dustin (unhelpfully) advised him to get flowers before he left, so Steve put Max in charge, out of spite. Which unfortunately broke the levy for a barrage of romantic advice from literal children: hold the door, make eye contact, give her your jacket and be on the left side of the sidewalk.

It’d be endearing if it wasn’t so tragic.

He rolls up to the house to find not only Robin, but Eddie too, at your side seated on the sidewalk. He crosses the hood of the car as you stand with a soft smile, “Sorry Steve,” you say, less sloshed since the phone call, but still tired. “Didn’t mean to ruin your night.”

“C’mon honey,” he scoffs, “There’s no way you could ruin my night.” He ushers you to the passenger seat, arm around your waist. He can smell the beer from the keg and stale cigarettes on you, laced with the comforting scent your perfume. 

He shuts the door after reminding you to put on your seatbelt and turns back to Eddie and Robin. They look like they’re up to no good— Eddie’s smirking and got that glint in his eye that says he’ll be a problem, all the while Rob has a dopey grin on her face.

“She’s had water and we took the drinks from her a while ago,” Eddie says, waving back at you from the sidewalk. “Try to have her eat something.”

Steve rolls his eyes. Like he needs advice from a dungeon master on how to deal with a drunk.

Robin blinks owlishly, “Ooh, Hardee’s, get her that.”

Steve laughs as Eddie shepherds Robin away. Says something about not fucking it up and using protection. He can’t bring himself to care as he slides back into the car. The radio kicked on as he starts the car, David Byrne rhapsodizing about a girl as she was. 

He watched as you bop to the song in your seat, bringing an affectionate smile to his face— eyes closed, hair whipping back in the cool night breeze as you sing along. The axels squeak when Steve pulls into the drive-thru lane.

Try as he might to keep his gaze on you, to watch you a little longer, the intercom sputters to life—a young boy’s voice greeting mechanically but trying nonetheless to adhere to Hardee’s hospitality best he can.

The burger you’d gotten—medium, double meat, bacon, all toppings between—has completely fallen apart in a splat back onto the wax paper in your lap.

“Here, honey.”

He fumbles for napkins. But you wave his worries away, licking your fingers before diving in to deconstruct your food.

“Sorry—I promise I have my shit together.” Another giggle, “Not doing well here. Makin’ a mess your car and everything.”

“I, uh, I think you’re doin’ great.”

The words slip out before he can catch them and around a mouthful of fries, you thank him, and then you take a breath, and he can literally see you winding up for another enormous bite.

“Sorry,” you pause sheepishly, “M’ starving—skipped lunch on accident.” You take the enormous bite he saw coming, and then, “Also doesn’t help—mm—nervous.”

Steve chews on a fry and slurps his soda, driving with ease. “Nervous ‘bout what?”

You swallow and steal his drink, “Weren’t you on a date?”

He blinks.

You blink.

He blinks again.

“No, I was watching movies with the kids.”

His face is so hot that he thinks someone must have thrown a fire into him. Should he have just gone along with it instead? It’s old news by now that King Steve had turned in his crown for a walkie-talkie and chauffeuring a bunch of teens around.

A beat passes and he tries again, now at the end of the meal and the stain on your shirt starting to sink in and spread, heavy enough to dip toward the skin beneath. “Do you want to take your shirt off?”

You choke on soda and add another splatter down your chest, “What?”

“You can wear my jacket,” he clarifies. “Give it back later. I mean, if you…” He frowns. “Uh. Um.”

The beemer comes to a stop in front of he Harrington house. Lights still on in the living room signalling that the party is still there. 

You changed out of your shirt, ducking down in the front seat bashfully (“Look away, damn it.”), your old t-shirt in a crumple inside his pocket. His jacket hung a bit loose, but zipped up all the way and it was a good enough cover for a while.

There’s a smear of grease on your cheek from the burger and Steve knows it’s just a personality trait at this point. He laughs when you stick your tongue out, trying to find exactly where it is before giving up and asking him to wipe it off.

He shoves his hands in his pocket afterwards, thumb jammed inside his fist like a souvenir, keeping it there the rest of the walk up the drive, all the way up to the front door of his house before he wonders if he should have been trying to hold your hand.

Maybe not.

“I missed this,” he says, brushing his shoulder against yours.

You hum, knocking your hip against his. “Thanks for dinner,” you say, looking up at him.

“Yeah, of course.”

“And picking me up.” A beat passes. “And the jacket, too. It’s really nice… comfortable and, uh, smells… good. Like, cinnamon and… nice body wash and… trees.” You make a queasy face and close your eyes for a second, pinching the bridge of your nose uncomfortably as Steve looks on.

Oh, he realizes. You must be woozy.

Oh, he realizes. You’re gonna hurl.

“Steve,” Your voice is small and tight, and you look like you’re struggling to take steadying breaths. “I gotta sit down.”

“Right,” he replies. You laugh, rubbing the back of your neck before he turns and unlocks the door.

The kids are passed out on the sofa and reclining chairs in the living room. He locks the door and sneaks you upstairs, hands politely on your waist to steady you on your feet. Guides you to the left toward the guest bath and flips on the lights. 

“You alright?”

The fluorescents cast you in a hazy yellow glow, squinting at the bright light. You paw at the countertop for something, water? You turn to open a drawer and find a spare toothbrush— the blue one, yours, a freebie from a check-up and gloop some toothpaste on the bristles. With a nod in response, you begin to brush your teeth, faucet running as you fill a cup of water. 

Steve leaves you with a clean washcloth and towel, should you need them, and goes to check that his room isn’t a complete disaster. Bed sheets are clean-ish and he doesn’t have time to run them through the wash, though there’s always one of the guest rooms…

“Hey.”

He startles slightly, not hearing you walk in. You’ve toed off your shoes by the door and are looking sheepish, lip pulled between your teeth. “Can I borrow some clothes?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

Steve pulls open some drawers, rifling through for something for you to sleep in. Throws your top into his hamper while he’s at it. He turns back to you with a ‘Hawkins Athletics’ shirt that’s seen better days and a pair of flannel pajamas. Shoves them toward you awkwardly and then promptly turns around to let you have some privacy while you change.

“Thanks.”

He makes a strangled noise of confirmation and clears his throat. “No problem.”

Hearing the rustling of sheets, he turns back around and catches sight of your bare leg as you hunker down in his bed. Heat rushes to his cheeks when he spies the pajama pants neatly folded and placed on his nightstand. You turn on your side, burrowing and fluffing the pillows to your liking.

Steve makes quick work of brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed. Shoes by the door next to yours, jeans shucked into a pile by his desk, keeps his shirt on for the sake of decency, and slips in next to you. 

“I appreciate you coming to get me, y’didn’t have to do that.”

His arm drapes against your shoulder while you snuggle into him, casual affection being the norm between you two. He swallows thickly, tries to regulate his breathing when your hand rests against his chest.

“What’re friends for?”

“Hmm,” you consider for a moment. “Friends may not be the most accurate term.”

Steve bristles at that. 

“What do you mean?” He turns toward you, heart racing— did you not want to be friends anymore? Did he do something wrong?

Your face is impassive, blank. Steve couldn’t even begin to guess at what you’re thinking, is afraid to even try.

Then, you smile.

Fuck. That smile.

“S-so, not friends then?”

Steve is not a religious man, but he prays that your smile means what he thinks it does. Slowly reaching toward you, he brushes a lock of hair from your face, fingers grazing your cheek. 

Mischievously, you lean in, touch him soft on the lips and every beat of his pulse seems to be seeking out the sweet plush of your mouth. “If we were just friends, I shouldn’t wanna kiss you so bad, but we both seem to be … not good… at following decorum, so…” Your eyes light up teasingly, “What d’ya say?”

Steve makes a noise like a whimper. Wow. Babysitter extraordinaire with a bat of nails under his bed and it’s your smile that does him in.

You kiss him again, longer than the last, giggling softly and tugging on his bottom lip like you could pull his entire body toward you with just that. “I’m sure we could find a few more rules to break.”

[x0401x]

Hello, this ask is just for fun......

Top 5 (or top 3) Favorite female characters :

Top 5 (or top 3) Favorite male characters :

Top 5 Favorite animanga :

Animanga you are currently enjoying :

Animanga that exceeded all your expectations :

Top 3 Unpopular animanga you really love :

Favorite romance :

Favorite action animanga :

Favorite fantasy :

Favorite sci -fi :

Favorite drama :

Favorite comedy :

Top 3 Favorite anime movies :

Next in your watch list :

Next in your read list :

Top 3 Favorite antagonists:

Top 5 (or top 3) favorite ships (can be canon or non canon) :

Thanks if you want to answer....

This sure took me a while because, damn, I had to think a lot about each answer.

So, top 3 favorite females:

Sheryl Nome

Oikawa Tsurara

Kuchiki Rukia

Top 3 favorite males:

Gilbert Bougainvillea

Takigawa Masaki

Alphonse Elric

Top 5 Favorite animanga:

I can't really put them in the same category, so I'm gonna write down one of each.

Favorite anime movie: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi

Favorite anime show: Heike Monogatari

Favorite manga: Tongari Boushi no Atelier

Favorite light novel: Violet Evergarden

Favorite regular novel: Mouryou no Hako

Animanga I'm currently enjoying (so far):

Yatagarasu

Hibike! Euphonium S3

Kaijuu 8-gou

Kuroshitsuji S4

Dungeon Meshi

Urusei Yatsura S2

Ookami to Koushinryou

Boku no Hero Academia S7

Tonari no Youkai-san

Bartender

Tadaima, Okaeri

Touken Ranbu Kai

Boukyaku Battery

Jii-san Baa-san Wakagaeru

The Fable

Seiyuu Radio no Uraomote

Now, I'm still waiting for some stuff to air, so this isn't a complete list. Also, the last title isn't exactly one that I'm super enjoying because it's butchering the original, but I'm sticking with it because I like the franchise. I recommend the manga instead of the anime.

Animanga that exceeded all my expectations

The only one I can think of is Suzumiya Haruhi. It didn't exceed all my expectations because they were high from the start, but goddamn. I despise the fact that I came into the show knowing only the memes and opening clip, thinking it was gonna be absolute weeb garbage (because back in the old days it was much easier to not run into spoilers and I'm not even sure if the novel was already being fantranslated at the time), only to find out that it actually fucking slaps. Can you imagine how pissed I was. That I couldn't hate this bullshit of a show. Also endless eight. That shit was traumatizing even though I caught on quick and skipped most of it.

Top 3 Unpopular animanga I really love

I won't say unpopular but these are definitely underrated.

Tsurune (I mean the novel; the anime doesn't deserve much recognition beyond the good animation and sound design, imo)

Nurarihyon no Mago (I know it's been over for more than a decade and the fandom is long dead, but it was temporarily revived by the recent new chapters, and it was criminally underrated in the west back when it was still being published)

Gangsta (used to be really popular when it was on-going, but the fandom lost its hype completely both in the west and in Japan after it entered hiatus because of the author's health)

Favorite romance: Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso

Favorite action animanga: can't possibly choose

Favorite fantasy: Tongari Boushi no Atelier

Favorite sci-fi: can't possibly choose

Favorite drama: Nana

Favorite comedy: Gintama (I know that comedy isn't the only genre this thing belongs to but comedy is the main one. And yes, I know the story is actually deep but it still takes a backseat to the comedy, narratologically speaking, and this shouldn't be looked down on. Fight me.)

Top 3 Favorite anime movies

I don't really have favorites in any particular order other than Sen to Chihiro, so here are a random few of my faves:

Kimi no Na wa

Senkou no Hathaway

Mononoke-hime

Next in your watch list: All the stuff from this season that hasn't yet come out.

Next in your read list: Nothing, actually. Just keeping up with the stuff I was already reading. Accepting recs!

Top 3 Favorite antagonists:

Johan Liebert

Griffith

Meruem

Top 5 (or top 3) favorite ships (can be canon or non canon):

Let's go with top 10 because I'm a professional shipper. By the way, number 1 is the one that set the bar for all the other ships and anything else is actually just sharing second place. These are really just a few from the top of my head, since I have at least one favorite ship for every fandom I'm in.

RikuTsura (Nura Rikuo/Tsurara)

HakuSen (Haku/Ogino Chihiro)

SakuShao (Kinomoto Sakura/Li Shaoran)

IchiRuki (Kurosaki Ichigo/Kuchiki Rukia)

HaruRin (Nanase Haruka/Matsuoka Rin)

GilVi (Gilbert Bougainvillea/Violet Evergarden)

SoMa (Soul Evans/Maka Albarn)

AruSheri (Saotome Alto/Sheryl Nome)

YuuVic (Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov)

SeiRicha (Nakata Seigi/Richard Ranashingha de Vulpian)

[akronus-writes]

the embodiment of fear: slashers and movies

Antros' mother knew something was different with her child the day he was born, silent and already cheerful. At first, they thought it was a sign he was a blessing, a child that could bring joy to the world. but then it started, no matter how much they fed him, he always seemed malnourished, but whenever someone got scared of him starving, he looked perfectly healthy.

They had hoped it was just a strange coincidence, but as he got older things only got worse. almost every night his parents caught him cheerfully watching horror movies as soon as he was smart enough to operate the remote. then he started scaring his parents, and even the other kids at school.

not even birthday parties were safe, every time one of them happened, he'd somehow get his hands on the remote, and start playing Friday the 13th, or Halloween. eventually his parents kept him home, and as they got used to his scares, he started to degrade. without that fear to cause, it was almost like Antros was going through withdrawals. But if he even just managed to cause some fear, he was right as rain, like nothing had happened.

on his 13th birthday his parents finally caved, and he was given access to a library of classic and modern horror. supplied with all of this horror, he quickly watched every movie before the month had ended, and in that moment, truly began to reach an understanding of himself. not the genderfluid part, he's known this for a while.

to his knowledge he was an embodiment of fear, a being that quite literally subsists off of, and is empowered by, fear. from what he understood he seemed to embody slasher villains and movie horror, leading him to experiment with his powers.

at first it was simply summoning machetes or being able to take a punch, but as he learned to better harness the fear he embodied, the more powerful he got.

eventually his control had reached a point that he could casually make a "banshee scream" loud enough to stun a grown man, and had permanently altered his body to be much more durable, and all around physically superior.

along with a development power wise, Antros had also begun studying in school to both become involved in the horror films industry, and to better understand human psychology. which is when it happened.

while walking home from the screening of the recently released 'the strangers: first chapter' Antros was approached by a young woman, about his age (16), in a black three piece suit and tie, with long black hair that trailed down her back like blood.

at first, he was ready to fight the woman, or just walk past her, but she had other plans.

"so you're the one my associate told me about, I believe Antros was your name?" she questioned, a smile dancing at her lips.

"yes I am, what about it?" Antros responded, stepping back to keep his face hidden.

"well, I've hear of your particular... skills, and believe I may have a job offer for you" she stayed back, letting Antros have his secrecy.

Antros remained silent for a few seconds, before tilting his head, and speaking "what kind of job?"

"a contract of sorts, you use your... fear powers, for me and my business, and in return I pay you, in money" the women responded, as the cloud began to shift, revealing the blood that stained her shirt.

Antros weighed his options before he spoke, holding out his hand to the woman "deal"

"deal" the woman shook his hand, before swiftly turning around and walking off.

"fuck, I didn't get a way to contact he-," Antros' train of thought was cut off by the blood that dripped onto his shoes, looking to its source, he saw the bloody business card his new employer had left him.

on the walk home, he examined it closer. there were only two things on the card, an address, and what he assumed to be the woman's name, Aldira.

@good-wizard @f4y3w00d5 @monsterfucker-research-wizard @f4y3w00d5 @the-final-knight @fayewoods-2

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

Alright, thoughts on Kaos, after watching the first three episodes. I'm going to try to keep this more organized than it's gonna wanna come out, but no promises lmao.

I REALLY want to like the show. In fact, I don't hate it, strictly speaking. It's... interesting? But it's also a really frustrating watch, for me. I guess the biggest problem for me is that it very much feels like a show that would have worked better if it was made 15 years ago. Like, it's a very late 2000s, early 2010s show. Which isn't terrible, but compared to other recent shows in the fantasy genre, it just feels like... something that would've been edgy and boundary-pushing in like 2009, but falls flat in 2024.

And I hate to do a lot of comparing, but as a creator, as a writer, as a show runner, they needed to expect comparison to happen. Especially when they're dealing with figures from one of the most studied, most read, and most adapted mythologies in human history. And like, yes, please do your own take on Greek gods-- on Greek myth in general. I am not expecting a 1 to 1 interpretation, and the fact that the show is doing it's own thing with these figures is not a problem for me. It's just not hitting. And in a time when there are VERY POPULAR books, movies, shows, and plays using these same characters and telling versions of these same stories, like... you gotta compete. You gotta pay attention to what others have recently and popularly done with the stories, and yours has to be as good or better or it's just going to fall short. And for me, that's what's happened, here, with Kaos. I'm going to try to go into detail about what I think works well and what I think isn't working, so be mindful of spoilers.

Their version of Zeus... I dunno. I like him, I guess? But I'm not sure if that's just because Jeff Goldblum is very interesting to watch or not. I think the thing they got really right about Zeus, and many of the other gods depicted here, is the casual cruelty and indifference. A lot of shows and movies about these Greek deities are either afraid to depict them as too cruel (making them Good Guys TM), or make them just villains-- rarely is the balance met well. And, well, I think that's one of the things that this show does best. When Hera disguises herself as Zeus and fucks Zeus's little human lover, then makes the girl go through a full pregnancy in seconds and turns her into a bee and makes Zeus kill the baby-- that was GREAT. I hated it and loved it because it was so mean and cruel and Zeus just snapped the baby's neck like it was nothing, because it was nothing to him. A very good depiction, in my opinion, of how cruel these gods can be without even an ounce of remorse for the mortal they're being cruel to.

But, again, I dunno if I like what the show is doing with Zeus, in particular, or if I'd just enjoy watching Jeff Goldblum read the phonebook for 9 hours straight, you know?

Hera? She's wonderful. 10/10, no notes. I love this Janet McTeer as Hera, I love the way Hera is depicted, I love the way she looks. She eats.

Now, to my biggest problems with the series, and I apologize in advance because I have A LOT OF FEELINGS about it. I've been ranting about it every time I try to sit through episodes.

Let's start with my beloved Dionysus. Now, I want to be clear: Nabhaan Rizwan is great as Dionysus. He is giving such a good performance, it's just... something is lacking. Which makes me feel like it's on the creative side. Like, it's the direction or the writing or something that is off. So, they're obviously going for this... like... youthful boredom, with Dionysus. Dionysus is often depicted as, like, one of the youngest gods, and his whole thing is theatre, wine, debauchery, pleasure... so, yeah, having him be this kinda youthful party boy is perfect. I get it 100%. I just think the idea they had is SO GOOD and wasn't well executed at all. Here is where comparison is going to come in, so I apologize in advance if this is a problem for you--

We live in a time of very good television. Okay? And the trope they're going for with Dionysus is something we have seen done extremely well. Even, like... Klaus from Umbrella Academy fits that trope, and was done extremely well. The way they're trying to depict Dionysus is very pansexual, very life of the party, very "knows everyone who is anyone at all the spots", very "casual sex just because." And like, we LOVE those characters. Bratty disasters who live in the moment and are perpetually into some shit. And we've seen so many versions of them on recent television shows that, while ALL different, were all executed way better than this version of Dionysus. Lestat on AMC's Interview With The Vampire. Blackbeard on Our Flag Means Death. Klaus, as I mentioned before. The whole disaster bi/pan dude thing.

Dio, in comparison, seems very half-baked. Very 2009. I think out of all of the characters, he feels the most 2009, you know? Like, back when making a bi/pan character was edgy, and even then, it wasn't explicit or was even played for laughs. I know this is a comedy, but so is Our Flag Means Death, you know? And even when the whole Blackbeard/Stede thing was funny, it was never because being queer is funny. And like... this show DID THAT with Dionysus. There's a moment where he goes into The Cave with Orpheus and he casually orders drinks from the (male) bartender, and the bartender flips him off-- implying some prior knowledge of each other-- and then Dio goes off to have a quickie with the bartender. And like... he's getting fucked by the man, and in that moment it didn't feel like... like a male character having desire for a man and having a sexual tryst with him. It felt like "isn't it funny that Dionysus is getting FUCKED in the ASS?!" Which, like... no? Like, that's so 2009. It's so passe to play the gay for laughs. Like, even in other fantasy comedies, like What We Do in the Shadows and Our Flag Means Death-- the CHARACTERS are funny, but their same-sex attraction never is. It's not funny that Stede and Blackbeard fall for each other-- it's lovely.

And let's be clear-- I'm not expecting Dio to "fall for" the bartender or anything, but it's clear that they were going for "Dio is a fuckboy who has probably had casual sex with this man before, and probably scorned him in some way, and so he uses the casual quickie to make up with the guy and possibly get free drinks." Cute, fun, I like that. I don't like HOW they did that idea. Like, Dio did not react like someone who enjoys getting fucked. He reacted like a straight boy playing getting fucked in the ass for laughs. IDK.

To be fair, this version of Dionysus is very bored with his whole debauchery schtick and we do see him boredly getting his cock sucked by a girl in a club in an early scene, too. But even that looked more like someone who enjoys getting their cock sucked but is just bored, and less just... "it's funny because of what it is." Does that make sense? IDK.

Like, it feels like a direction problem. Because this Dionysus seems to work very well on paper, and the actor doesn't seem poorly cast, to me. It just seems... executed like it's directed by a dudebro older man who was very cool in the 2000s and still thinks the way dude filmmakers thought in the 2000s.

Then there's the Orpheus.

2/10. I do not... like him. And like, not because of the story-- we all know Orpheus and Eurydice. (Which is part of the problem.)

I think it's because he very much gives CHRIS MARTIN, gives COLDPLAY, and not in a good way. Like, yeah, I like Coldplay alright. They're fine. But for ORPHEUS? Orpheus' whole thing is that his music is supposed to be... extremely special. Like, nobody is touching him. His music is so beautiful it can like... literally change the world. Move the gods. All of that.

And they chose to make him... COLDPLAY? This man whose music is the most special, beautiful thing anyone has ever heard. Like, I don't understand that music direction choice. At all. Who... decided that this was the move? I need something otherworldly. Something ethereal. Like, when he's playing the piano at The Cave for the fates in an attempt to get them to allow him to go into the underworld to retrieve Eurydice's soul... as soon as he started, I was like "This basic ass piano." Like, THAT IS NOT "the greatest, most beautiful music-- music that breaks your heart so much that you'd let him defy the gods and get his lost love back." It sounded like he was playing Christmas hymns at the Christmas morning service. Basic as fuck.

And again, I hate, hate that I have to compare, but YOU CANNOT GIVE SUCH A MEDIOCRE MUSICAL PERFORMANCE IN A WORLD WHERE HADESTOWN EXISTS. Like, we cannot hear Reeve Carney give the most beautiful performances of the most heartwrenching songs in a hit Broadway musical as the same character, and then you give us Chris Martin playing Christmas hymns.

Again, you are allowed to make your own interpretations, and the showrunner did not need to try to copy Hadestown. That is not what I mean. But you need to pay attention to what perhaps the most popular telling of that myth OF ALL TIME did, and you need to try to match or exceed it. Why even both with Orpheus and Eurydice if you're not going to slay us with the music? YOU NEED TO SLAY US WITH THE MUSIC! THAT'S ORPHEUS' WHOLE THING!

Honestly, full stop, even though they have every right to tell their own versions of these stories and create their own versions of these characters, you're fighting an uphill battle when AMERICAN GODS, PERCY JACKSON, and HADESTOWN exist and have done EXTREMELY WELL and been EXTREMELY POPULAR touching this same mythology. You have to MATCH OR EXCEED. Because why would I want to sit through your mediocre Orpheus when I could listen to Hadestown and hear a far superior Orpheus?

Now, their Eurydice? She is beautiful. She is fierce. She is heartbreaking. I love her. Hera and Eurydice are the best characters on the show, and the only ones I just full-on like without much complaint.

And maybe the point is that the men suck? IDK. Like, I don't give a fuck about this Orpheus. I'm not sad for him. His reaction to Eurydice's death is selfish and not at all heartbreaking. I don't even believe him that he wants to go into the underworld to retrieve her. I feel like Dionysus wants it more than he does. But Euridyce. I feel so sad for her. She lost her mother to Hera's cult. She dies tragically. Her stupid husband took her coin, so she can't even pass through to be Renewed and have a new life. She wasn't happy in her marriage, and she isn't happy in her death, and all I want is for her to succeed.

IDK if their goal was for us to dislike Orpheus, but if that is the goal, they've succeeded. Like, I want my heart to break for Orpheus. But I just feel like he's shitty. And I don't care about him at all.

And the other thing was small, but Theseus and Nax being in love was brushed over and not fully explicit and the Nax actor didn't play it well enough. Theseus actor was believably in love and heartbroken that Nax might die at Minos' hands, but Nax was almost playful, like his whole purpose was to reveal that Theseus was not for Ariadne rather than to truly be Theseus' lover. Which, again, feels like a director problem. They WROTE "Theseus is revealed to be gay and in love with Nax, the secret prince of Troy". He DIRECTED "and then we learn that Theseus is actually gay and Nax sassily reveals it to Ariadne because lol they're gay and she doesn't get the man isn't that amusing?" Which, again, is very 2009. Very "see? It's EDGY, the character is GAY! But not too gay, because eww, amirite?" And like, again, in a decade in which we have OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH and INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, that just doesn't work anymore. We have pirates and vampires being openly gay and kissing and being casual about how in love they are with their partners... and you play your gay Theseus as if it's edgy just to imply he's in love with this prince and that you don't need to show us that he is because you let the prince call him "babe" and let their hands touch a bit and let Theseus cry for him. Like? Coward shit, man, it's so outdated. I don't know how else to say it. Like, even having Nax just show an ounce of empathy for his partner who is terrified that he is going to be executed would have been enough, but Nax was just sassy and smirking and resigned to his fate as if it was just words on a script. Even a man who knew he was probably going to die because of his actions to save his people should have more emotion and conflict than just "Oh well, I'm not afraid to die, lol, Theseus babe stop crying omg lol"

Anyway, I think this was more negative than positive. But... I like the modern setting. I think it's fun. Very "Romeo + Juliet", which is I think what they were actually going for. I love the Fates and the Furies. I think they look so cool, and I think the gnc Fates was a great choice. I liked their Poseidon. Didn't like their Hades and Persephone, but there's nothing wrong with them, actually. I just don't like what they did with them personally.

I like Prometheus, and I like that he's serving as the narrator. I think that's interesting. I like that Zeus keeps summoning him and sending him back-- again, that casual cruelty thing that the show does so well. (Also, when Poseidon drowns the servant girl for no reason. That was very fun. Just, perfect Poseidon behavior-- he's such a piece of shit, and I love that this show decided to show us that.)

I also like the story it's trying to tell, with the three humans who are prophesized to bring down Zeus/the gods. I'm interested in seeing how that works out, and especially in seeing Eurydice's role in it. The show has a REALLY good premise, and has some REALLY nice elements. It's just, honestly, the execution that leaves something to be desired. Like, I feel like I'm pulling my hair out every time I try to watch an episode. Like, I pause every few minutes just to rant about something.

And to be fair, I'm a mythology girlie. I read a lot of mythology. I watch a lot of mythology shows and movies. I listen to mythology podcasts. Like, it's my special interest. But also, I understand completely when people adapt these myths to tell their own versions, or use these characters in their stories in ways that don't match the mythologies. I understand, and I've even done it myself. And so does the mythology. There are so many different versions of these gods, of their myths, so many different ways they were worshipped and things they were worshipped for-- it's perfectly on-brand to change them in your own ways for your own purposes. I don't think that's my problem with Kaos. I just think... I don't like how it was executed. It's a very "sounds good on paper" show, at this point. And I feel for the cast, because they're not doing a terrible job. It really feels like the problems are on the director/producer side. I even think what the writers wrote sounds better than what the creative team did with it.

And... that's all I'll say. I'm still going to finish the season. Maybe I'll give final thoughts after I finish the season. Sometimes things that you think are problems are there to pay something off in the end. But some of these things, IDK, I just think they're problems in general. And, like... I'm kinda disappointed, because I really want to like this show, and right now, I can't say that I do.

[tobiasdrake]

I've been loving your Digimon Adventure recap series! I've actually never seen Digimon or really interacted with it much before, so I've been learning about it/vicariously watching the show through your recaps. Now I've started playing this fangame, Digital Tamers 2, that I'm hooked on! I just evolved my MachGaogamon to a MetalGarurumon, and now am starting to raise a Tsumemon (now a Keramon) - I guess they're the antagonist of one of the movies? Question-wise, I have 2: -When you were first watching as a kid, did you ever notice any of the inconsistencies or errors the dub made? Not the translation differences, of course, but the times where even within the show it didn't make sense, or they didn't include some important piece of information. -What Digimon series and/or movies have you seen (besides original Adventure) and what would you say is the best of them? I know there was some kind of reboot-type series in Adventure:, right? Was that good?

Ah, yes. We'll see them pop up when we get to Our War Game, a movie that takes place after the first Adventure series concludes.

*google google*

...I should check out this game.

Anyways, on to the questions.

1 - I don't remember very well, but I do recall being thrown off by certain things. There were a lot of minor "Huh?" moments but we couldn't exactly pause and think about a show back in the day so I'd often just wind up moving on to the next hype moment.

I didn't understand the plot very well but I didn't really know that I didn't understand the plot very well.

Since we're in the area of it, one thing that sticks out in recent memory is that I always found Puppetmon to be a boring villain and didn't understand why so many episodes were spent on him. My least favorite episode of the series was the one where he kidnaps T.K. to a house and then they just... run around and do nothing.

Which I now understand to be the result of everything they did in that house being impermissible on Fox Kids. Now, I am super enjoying Pinocchimon's arc.

(I also found T.K. himself to be a boring character in the first show back in the day, which I now understand to be the result of the dub overemphasizing his Kid Sidekick-ness and underemphasizing his strength, conviction, and personal growth.)

2 - I've actually never left the Adventure series before. ^_^;; Of the Digimon shows and movies, I have seen original Adventure, Adventure: Our War Game, Adventure 02, Adventure Tri, and Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna.

I got really hooked on this particular cast of characters, so as a kid when they announced that Tamers was going to be a whole new continuity with a whole new cast unrelated to the Adventure series, I took that as my jumping off point. Then I only ever came back when they announced new material for the Adventure cast.

I've heard a lot of good things about Tamers, though, and I'm looking forward to finally seeing it.