#yes maybe i wrote this to tell you all that i made a bracelet in the bonten logo colors with izana’s initials bc he’s one of my f/os and i+

[appreciatingtokrev]

wearing a ring for you’re close to is cool, so is wearing a necklace for them. but have you ever considered bracelets?? (okay tbf i am pretty sure this has to do with the intrusive thoughts i keep getting abt me bleeding to death bc of my main artery on my wrist somehow bursting when touched, especially with force, hence i am only comfortable with getting touched there if i initiate it. but still) idk my wrists are just something... vulnerable about my body imo. i dislike my inner wrists being touched if i don’t initiate it, and even if i do, it feels pretty weird at first. so wearing a bracelet isn’t something i just do every day, and wearing one dedicated to someone means i really do love them. also, whenever i take off a bracelet after wearing it for a day, my wrist feels oddly empty for a good hour, and while i do have that with rings and necklaces/chokers to some extent to, the lasting effect things have on my wrist is way bigger.

what i’m trying to say is that wearing a bracelet dedicated to someone, especially if it’s self-made (by them or by you) is a great act of love for me. a far bigger one than wearing a ring or a necklace.

[darlingchronicles]

JJ AND THE GOLDEN GIRL HEADCANONS II

pairing: jj x fem!goodgirl!reader

word count:

first part here & based on this and this post that i made. enjoy !!!

What is their favorite photo of with other?

✔︎ jj's favorite photo of him and his golden girl is when they were asleep on the hammock and sarah snapped a shot. she was laid on his chest and her head was buried into the side of his neck with her arms around him and jj head was resting against hers and his arms fully engulfed her waist. a small blanket was laid over them and the sun set in the background. as mentioned in my previous headcanons, he keeps it in his wallet at all times.

ఌ golden girl has so many photos that she loves of jj and her, but one takes the cake. it's one where she and jj had just gotten out of the ocean and dressed in their regular clothes, but their hair is still wet, and they were sitting next to a fire the pogues made on the far side of the beach. her head was on his shoulder, but tilted up so she was looking at him and he was looking down into her eyes. it was night, so the light from the fire made them seem like they were glowing. sarah also took the photo and golden girl framed it and put it on the wall near her bed.

What special thing do they carry with them at all times?

✔︎ well of course jj keeps the photo in his wallet, but he also has a couple of bracelets from her. however, one of his prized possessions is the gum hearts. as stated in the previous headcanon, golden girl is very crafty with her gifts and gave jj a heart made out of gum wrapper. she actually wrote in it. a little note that only said, "hey there criminal". it was so lame that he laughed when he opened it one day and saw it. it's a little of an inside joke because jj's name is jesse-james maybank, after the criminal. it was so stupid, but it makes him laugh.

ఌ for golden girl, she usually has a few things on her, but she adores her bracelet that jj made. he made it by hand (he never told her this, but she could tell by the messy threading and specific mini charms) and personalized it. he gave it to her about a year after they began dating (only a few days before he told her he loved her). he just handed it to her randomly when she was staying over at the chateau. he was so nervous but she loved. she always wears it and only takes it off if she's going into deep water because she doesn't want to risk losing it. one of the charms is a surf board, another is of half a sun and one of her favorites is of flounder from the little mermaid (as mentioned before in part 1, she's scared of sharks). she loves that thing and you can always see her wearing it no matter what.

How does the cut and figure eight react to them?

✔︎ first off, the cut is probably the most surprised at the news of them. it only appears maybe like five or six months into the relationship. they kept it hush hush for a while and eventually didn't care who saw them. multiple pogues saw them going for ice cream together. heyward saw them sailing on "the pogue" a few times, alone. others saw them at the kegger, sitting close to one another and jj's arm was around her. the cherry on top was when they came out of the ocean from surfing and he gave her a kiss (ON THE MOUTH???) and the news spread like wildfire. everyone had questions about how it began and shit like that. but it was the excited type of questions. separately, they ask the couple if they're together. jj's only response is "yeah, for a time now" in a lighthearted tone and golden girl's response is "yes, we are!" in a very cheerful tone. honestly the cut was so surprised, but they're honestly for it. with their responses, it seemed like the two were very much falling in love and by the way jj looked at her, the man was a goner and based on her smiles, she was half-way in love already. (everyone knew they were endgame at this point and any other secret suitors resigned) there were some skeptics and some who didn't believe they'd last long, but when they heard how long they've already been together, it crushed all of it. they didn't expect it, but they're kind of the cut's IT couple now. famous, i'm telling you.

ఌ the more judgmental pack is the kooks, aka figure eight. golden girl is known there because she works at the club restaurant as the hostess and she has a pretty good rep there too. heck she has a great rep everywhere. she is the golden girl after all. smiley and shiny. a bright future. the sun personified. (she'd argue but go on) so when they find out that she is dating jj maybank, the bus boy and absolute troublemaker of the cut, they're all fla-ber-gas-ted. like they all blink in confusion. and the only way the kooks found out was about a month after the cut found out and jj and golden girl went to a kegger together and ended kissing near the bonfire. kooks saw, told their friends, who told their friends, who told their parents and BAM! wildfire. some kids were actually really confused and some even tried to "warn" her about getting with a kid "like maybank". she had half a mind to flip them off but all she said was "i think i'm smart enough to make my own choices. thank you" and continued on with her day. she saw the judgment whenever they passed by each other at work and she knew it'd be a while before things went back to how they were at the restaurant. jj had the sharp end of the sword as he physically saw and heard the judgment from the kooks as if they knew her more than him. some of it kind of got to him, but he eventually over heard golden girl telling off some kook boys to leave her and jj the hell alone before she taught them how to shut their mouths. politely. but yeah that's what she said. eventually everything calm down, but figure eight isn't really their biggest fans.

How did their friends react to them?

✔︎ the pogues were really surprised that jj was capable of capturing her heart, but not surprised that they got together. she'd been part of the pogues for a while before they got together. even then, they saw the goo goo eyes and smiles and secret touches here and there and had bets placed. sarah won nearly every side bet, but pope won the last one about who kissed who first. they're for it honestly. they know that she makes jj really happy and he's more devoted to her than any other girl he's ever taken a look at and they know that golden girl would never hurt jj and that she's been in love with him for a while and they know they are made for each other. so very supportive.

ఌ golden girl is actually friends with a few kooks and they were very...ehhhh on the matter. they nearly choked when they heard and ask if the rumors were true. she said yes and they just shared a look. they warned her (like every damn kook on the island she was associated with one way or another) about how jj was and how they heard he was and just told her to rethink it or be careful. they continued on with that train for a while before she told them shut up or else she'd stop hanging out with them. (she's not friends with most of them anymore). however her pogue friends were very happy for her and admire them anytime they're around. again, bets were made and paid.

When did they know they were in it for the long run?

✔︎ the idea actually popped up in jj's head a few times, but he always pushed it aside or ignored it. i mean...being for someone for the long run? like marriage? and kids and a house. i mean, he's too young to even think about that right? i mean it's not possible to know right away? is it? he'd never thought about getting married beforehand. marriage was a wreck for anyone who got involved and it was like tying a noose around your finger, right? that's what he thought. and then she'd smile at him like he was her world and he made it spin on its axis. then she'd give him a little gift he never asked for and she wouldn't even ask for a thank you. then she'd give him a lecture about being reckless, but eyes just tell him that she's terrified something would happen to him. the one time he actually let the thought in was around their first year anniversary when they went surfing and ended up on the beach late at night with no one around. she was pressed up against his chest, sleeping with a few blankets over them and a smile fire burning to keep them warm. he glances down at her and there's something that glows within him that just tells him. for the first time, he thinks about marriage and being with her when he's old and gray and...it doesn't scare him for the first time. that thought alone leads to the first "i love you" only weeks later.

ఌ she's thought about it before. i mean, golden girl has watched rom-coms before, so she has thought about marriage. she'd hope to break the whole generation curse one day and be with someone she loves rather than for money or an accidental pregnancy. it's a wish in her. she does have the desire to marry one day, but she wants it to be for the right reasons. she's more into long-term relationships rather than hook ups or "situationships" because of the fear she'll be used like the women in her family before. so when jj came around and she actually let him in, she knows there's something special there. she thought about it here and there, but she always told herself that when she knows, she'll know. and that moment came around when she and jj were hanging out in her room about nine months in. her parents were out and jj snuck in and stayed for the night. they had played a game of uno, which she beat him at 3 times in a row, and received the reward of him telling her she was the best and amazing at everything (all in a playful manner, she demanded it) and when he won, he claps his hands in a taunting manner and went straight for her. she fell back and he caught her in his arms and pressed a passionate kiss to her lips and she swore she felt her heart skip two beats. when he pulled away, simply to press his lips to her cheek and request a game of cards to beat her at (still riding on the win) when she realize that she could do that forever. play games with cards and monopoly boards and win rewards of kisses and praise for the rest of her life. and the way jj smiled at her when she said she'd kick his ass at anything else, she knew it had to be him. (she knew he felt the same way before he knew).

What is their go-to and favorite date plans?

✔︎ jj is a simple guy. he doesn't need much. if he really wanted to have some alone time and take her out, he'd take her out for a drive to the beach, walk around, talking about everything and nothing before going to get an ice cream and ending the night watching the sunset. his favorite date plans is going surfing or staying on the pogue for the entire day and just be in each other's company.

ఌ golden girl understands that she and jj are busy people. busy bees. if they both had some time in-between their breaks or even after work for some time (or any time for that matter) her go-to suggestion is to sit outside or inside (probably the beach) and play a game of cards with two soda cans sitting next to them. it's quick and easy and they always have a good time. because of this, she and jj always have a stack of cards with them. her favorite date, however, is whenever the carnival or a festival comes near the mainland and they go together and just have fun. close second and most common one is introducing jj to all her favorite movies, musicals and series. (she got him hooked on money heist and gilmore girls, but he'll only watch it with her).

What is the favorite physical and non-physical trait of theirs they love?

✔︎ for jj, his favorite physical trait of hers is her eyes. she's so expressive in her eyes and if he needed to know anything, he'd just have to look into her eyes. she can say one thing, but the eyes tell another. he now believes in the whole "eyes are the windows to the soul" saying. (to be not so wholesome because it's jj duh, he really likes her chest. what can i say? he just likes the girls). his favorite non-physical trait is her ability to try and see the good in everything and everyone: aka her compassion. he knows it's hard for her to do that sometimes and he can see how she wants to be negative, but she tries her hardest to bring joy to others and to herself. she wants everyone to be happy because that's what she wants for herself (and sometimes she doesn't get it). jj doesn't really accept the fact that he's a cause of her happiness and joy, but he feels happy knowing he is.

ఌ for the golden girl, her favorite physical trait of jj is his hair. especially his wet hair when he just exited the sea and he shake it a bit out get the water out. *chef kiss* she also likes to play with it and toy around with it when she's watching tv or when jj is a little stressed, she likes to pass her hand over his hair. it works actually. (to not be so wholesome, his arms and back just make her drool and make her eyes roll back into her head, but you didn't hear it from me) her favorite non-physical trait is his loyalty. i've touched upon this in my last headcanon i think??? but he is loyal to the end. like it's actually this man's fatal flaw. she could be wrong or right, but jj is by her side. honestly her hype man. she's really happy to know he'd go search the entire world just for her.

What specific physical touch do they secretly like?

✔︎ jj is a sucker for back scratches. it's just a thing he found out he liked. he and golden girl were laying in jj's bed at the chateau, mumbling as the clock began to tick closer and closer to two in the morning. he was laying on top of her, head nuzzles into her neck. jj sleeps on his stomach, so golden girl had to learn how to not get crushed by him as she realized it was non-negotiable for him. she was mumbling something about school and jj was just responding with hums as sleep began to overtake him and she began to drag her nails up and down his bare back softly. jj is actually so embarrassed by how obsessed he became with it. if she stops, he'll whine until she gives in. if she begins, she cannot stop until she falls asleep or jj falls asleep or they have to get up. jj could go hours with her just scratching his back. he doesn't care how hard or soft she does it, just likes it (he does have a little fantasy about it, but it's only a fantasy for now lol)

ఌ golden girl really likes it when jj just holds her, whether in her room, his room at the chateau, or the hammock, she likes to curl up in jj's arms and have him hold her. sometimes she needs it because of all the stress on her. she specifically likes it when he talks to her, regardless if she'll respond. it's in his softest voice (he would never admit it to anyone and if she ever mentioned it someone (she hasn't), he'd deny it because why would she try and out him like that????) and he'll just mumble sweet nothings in her ears and sometimes she'll fall asleep because of it. she likes it a lot. (and just to out her a little, she's actually kind of interested in jj's soft voice in other types of scenarios if you catch my drift) but yeah she loves jj holding her and paying attention to her and only her in those moments?

How needy are they?

✔︎ if this man ever says he's not needy, he's lyingggggg. jj is an attention seeker at heart and he wants her attention at nearly all times. he just loves the attention and will do the most stupid stuff to gain it. once he waved her over just to show her he could do a handstand. she eventually caught the pattern of this, but she still goes over to him whenever he calls her. she likes that she's wanted by him. she thought he'd get use to it, but nope. this man is still as obsessed with her attention as always. as for physically, this man got a taste of physical touch after being touch starved (romantically at least) and he's never gone back. a hand on her back, hand in hand, hugging her, arm around her shoulder, etc, etc. he's always touching her if he can.

ఌ she admits it. she likes his attention. A LOT. she wouldn't say she's needy, but she really likes it when he's paying attention to her and only her. golden girl captures his attention in different ways. she'll fiddle with his hands or his hair or just call him over so he can sit next to her. she's heading towards jj-level obsessed at some points. physically however? she's right there with jj. hand on his knee, rubbing his back with her hand as he talks, fiddling with whatever jewelry he has on, stroking his jaw with her thumb, hugging him, etc. neither of them really care what everyone else thinks, but they never go beyond this to make sure others are comfortable in some aspects. since they're not there yet, this is as far as it goes for now (john b and sarah on the other hand are...well...they're not very quiet....lol)

Favorite nicknames?

✔︎ little lady, princess, flounder, sunflower, goody-two shoes, wormy, grumpelstiltskin

ఌ blondie, j, sunshine, pretty boy, criminal, giraffe, surfer boy, sleeping beauty

thedarlinglore: i love jj and golden girl so much. like it's actually an obsession. and there is more come!!! a fic is coming soon, but hey, we have more headcanons. i am thinking about blackcat!reader, but we'll see. requests are also open i hope you enjoyed and see you in the next one. love you, my darlings <3

➣ my last "jj" work | "oh schroeder" ➣ more concepts | jj maybank

[rinanextdoor]

xo (only if you say yes) — letter #1

wordcount: 669

series masterlist : xo (only if you say yes)

yang jungwon was popular and has always been popular ; it was a fact that he has grown to accept. many called him lucky, but jungwon would disagree — he disliked any unwanted attention.

despite that, he believed being popular had its perks : getting random gifts, having a sense of importance and validation, having admirers.

but with perks, it also came with downsides : being used, being disliked for no reason, having boundaries crossed.

so when a letter fell from his locker, jungwon wasn’t surprised. everyday his locker and desk would be filled with gifts, ranging from hand written confessions to expensive perfumes (that he never wore).

but for some reason, this letter felt different, it was lavender and smelled of lavender. it was also unsigned, left anonymous. all the letters he received in the past were signed, the writers wanting to be acknowledged.

maybe it was the sense of not knowing the identity of the person who wrote this letter, but the brunette gently stuffed the envelope into his backpack, not wanting to crease it for when he saved it for home.

jungwon wasn’t sure why he felt so differently about this letter, it was like any other gift he has received. but despite his initial idea to read it later, he sat opening the letter in anticipation during his break.

dear yang jungwon,

one of two things might have happened to this letter : one, i actually gathered the courage to slip this envelope into your locker or two, i chickened out and am now rereading this letter.

in the case that it’s the latter, you’re an absolute fucking idiot.

in the case you are reading this, please ignore the previous sentence.

i know how often you receive love letters from various people, but im not writing this to confess my love to you. in fact, im writing this to try and get over you.

that seems a bit selfish and unexpected, but im trying to be realistic and save myself from heartbreak — you have tons of admirers and i have always doubted you would reciprocate my feelings.

i’ve kept my feelings a secret for quite a while now, which is most likely why im writing this. seeing months of no progress (which is totally my fault) fueled my doubt and lead me to where i am now.

despite trying to get over my feelings, i would still like to keep these letters positive. so, i’m going to be telling you why i have fallen for you.

to me, it seems as if your true self goes unappreciated. people seem to only admire your physical appearance, but there’s much more to you. you’re such a kind person and i respect how you’re able to stay positive despite the circumstances.

your intelligence is also admirable : you always seem to get the highest marks in class with minimal effort. not only are you academically smart, but also mentally and emotionally. it amazes me how you are always able to help others even if the situation is not ideal.

anyways, i hope this letter doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable and i genuinely apologize if it does, but i’m hoping you understand the reasoning behind me writing this and where i am coming from.

p.s. i know you don’t really keep any of the things that you are gifted, but i hope you like this bracelet i made :)

sincerely, anonymous

jungwon looked through the purple envelope, finding the bracelet that was mentioned. it was a beaded bracelet, mixed with various different blue beads and star charms. if they know his favorite color, he wondered what else they knew about him.

he found himself rereading the letter over and over again (after successfully putting on the bracelet), hoping to find some sort of slip up that may reveal the anonymous writer. he flipped the paper over once more, frowning as he found nothing.

even though he never kept any of the gifts he received, jungwon kept this letter, in hopes to find out their identity.

(ㅤㅤ ©rinanextdoor on tumblrㅤㅤ )

[saksukei]

five times you fell in love with ushijima wakatoshi.

masterlist | sorry this is really long. I just love him sm <3

01. that one day when he walked you home and stayed for dinner. your mother had told ushijima she had never found the neighborhood safe, so he made it a point to walk you back everyday after his practices.

you came upon a startling realization during this time. ushijima was definitely raised like a gentleman. he would never let you walk on the outer side of the sidewalk. anytime you were on the outer side, he'd take a step back and go around you. always.

“thank you for dropping me home, wakatoshi,” you told him. it was a routine for you to say this and for him to reply that you shouldn't thank him for this.

“i am thankful though. especially for you not letting me walk on the outer side,” you explain and ushijima feels like he's been caught off guard. he did do it unintentionally most of the time, yes, but he makes sure of it when he's with you. its also partly because you sometimes get so carried away telling him about your day, he worries you might accidentally stumble on the street and he can't have that.

“you read me well,” he admits, a chuckle escaping his lips.

“well it's because i'm just happy to be graced by the presence of the ace of shiratorizawa,” you joke.

“you think too highly of me, you know that?”

“i don't see why I shouldn't,” you retort. “do you want to come in for dinner?”

you assume he's going to refuse since he has to be home in an hour to study and do his homework. and you know better than anyone that he doesn't take a single day off, no matter what. be it hail, sleet, snow or a tornado, ushijima would never rest.

he takes a minute to think till he replies, “yeah sure.”

you mask your shock well, you open the door and let him in. and you can already feel the butterflies in your stomach. maybe you don't view him as a friend, but something more.

02. when you told him he was boring. it wasn't intentional, no. ushijima is fun but just not without planning out the fun? so when you tell him that you're gonna go out in the rain, he's definitely hesitant to join. you don't force him to join you which he's grateful for.

but when he sees the smile on your face, as raindrops trickle down, he thinks to hell with it. you're awestruck when he does join in, his eyes taped shut, as he lets himself feel each raindrop falling on his skin.

“toshi” you call out, only for his eyes to meet yours, slowly adjusting to the light. you laugh and he thinks he's never heard a better sound.

“i’ve never done this before.t I wouldn't have, if it wasn't for you,” he admits, letting his rigid body go lose.

“don’t go all soft on me big guy,” you retort, a grin on your face.

“i can't help it.”

and you can't help falling in love with him either.

03. when you spent an afternoon in his childhood bedroom. ushijima’s mother had invited the two of you for dinner, telling you to take a look at wakatoshi’s old room.

volleyball and manga posters were lined on the side of his wall, with some of his trophies and pictures with his best friend tendou.

“can’t believe i’m lucky enough to be here,” you joke, a playful smile tugging on your lips.

“can’t believe i’m lucky enough to bring you here,” he responds, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“although I think I should be jealous because from the looks of this bedroom, it feels like you've been dating tendou,” you pointed at the wide array of pictures of the two.

ushijima throws his head back in laughter, “i kept our pictures hidden from mom,” he replies. you knew his mother was a little critical of his choices as a teenager. “wait–” he opened his cupboard and started rummaging through the drawers only to pull out a shoebox.

“this has all of our pictures,” he hands the box to you. you open it, only to find ushijima saving up not only pictures, but movie tickets, little letters you wrote for him, the bracelets you made, the cute doodles you drew on his notebook perfectly cut off alongside birthday cards and a childhood photo that you gave him.

“i never knew you saved all of this stuff,” you whispered. you never took ushijima for the sentimental type, especially not the one to save what you referred to as your ‘romantic garbage.’

“of course I would,” he shrugs. “it might be garbage to you but it meant the world to me and it still does. I save stuff till this day,” he admits.

this man really does catch you off guard, doesn't he?

04. when you were having a difficult time. while he's a world renowned player that definitely has more than enough on his mind given the upcoming championship, all of that becomes irrelevant when he catches you with tears sliding down your face after coming home back early from his practice.

“t–toshi, you're home?” you whisper, quickly trying to wipe the tears of your face. but you've never been a good liar and ushijima can read you with his eyes closed.

“what’s wrong, love?” he asks, immediately cupping your face with his hands, wiping your tears. “is everything okay?”

the dam breaks and he just pulls you into his chest, letting you cry your heart out. he shushes any apologies you cry out. why were you so adamant on thinking that you were a burden to him? burdens are pushed on people against their will and he sure as hell isn't here against his.

and you think, how lucky you are to have wakatoshi around.

05. when you find him drenched from the rain. ushijima was returning from his latest championship and you had already warned him of the thunderstorm ready to rain down on Tokyo. you find him and his suitcase looking as if they've crossed a tsunami on the way to the apartment.

“toshi,” you quickly rush to find a towel to wrap around him. “what happened?” you ask. “did the cab not drop you directly here?”

he smiles sheepishly admitting that he had asked the cab to drop him off fifteen minutes away. when you ask why, he pulls out the flowers and cupcakes he brought from your favorite bakery.

“and I also brought your favorite manga,” he smiles. “i just missed you so much these two months.”

you feel tears well up in your eyes as you hug him, “i missed you too,” you whisper, buried in the crook of his neck. you pull away, “go change quickly now, we can't have our star player being sick. dinner is almost done.”

“i love you, darling,” he says before heading inside.

and just as you thought you couldn't fall in love with ushijima wakatoshi anymore, he manages to prove you wrong.

[arctophyllax]

I may hate Christmas but some people evidently don’t, so I bring to you:

Gifts the Tiefling Bachelors would give and like to receive on Christmas (+ Love Languages)

Zevlor

Love Language(s): Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation

Giving:

• definitely something practical

• warm clothing, protective armor

• maybe some nice books

• alcohol, if he knows that you like alcohol

• his gifts would be sweet and heartfelt

• he would invite you to join him for the evening, take you out for dinner or let you stay over and cook for you

• he would call you to the warm fireplace after eating and give you a messily wrapped gift and perhaps a kiss on the forehead

• he’s sweet, he’s soft, he tries to always give you nice things, like you deserve

• he knows that there was a time where he couldn’t afford giving you these nice things, but that only makes it all the more important to him to do it now

• he wouldn’t expect anything in return, but if you do give him something he will accept it with the most gentle smile and another sweet kiss

Receiving:

• I feel like he would enjoy getting something that reminds him of you

• you could give him the least expensive, silliest thing and he would still thank you for it, especially when it has something to do with who you are

• a piece of your clothing that has your perfume on it (he is a cuddler who will miss you when you’re gone and you can’t convince me otherwise)

• self-made necklaces and bracelets

• gift him a nice weapon, something he can use to protect you, to protect everyone he loved

• quality time.

• simply spend time with him, he will be so happy

———————

Dammon

Love Language(s): Gift Giving, Physical Touch, Acts of Service

Giving:

• you know what I’m about do say, do I even have to say it?

• he would gift you something he made, something you can use to protect yourself

• a weapon, armor, enchanted jewellery

• yes, rings

• he’s so sly, he will make you a nice weapon or a ring and carve in a little watermark

• is it to mark his work? Is it to mark you? You might never know

• books, he knows his way around books… he would pick up on your reading habits and gift you just the right thing

• might gift you something… suggestive. If you’re up for that

• again, quality time

• he’s the type to work even on christmas, but you’re the one person who can pull him away from his l work with one mere word

• would be content to spend the entire evening with you in his arms

• would assure you over and over again how much you mean to him

Receiving:

• if you’re an artist, gift him something you drew or painted

• if you’re a writer, you write him a story or a poem

• if you do any other crafts that require a certain degree of creativity, give him something you made

• inviting him for dinner is also on the table

• be extra affectionate and give him a ton of random kisses

• hang up mistletoes

• you won’t regret that one

• as with Zevlor, he would enjoy something that reminds him of you: clothing with your scent (this has innuendos), random things you found on your travels, trinkets and (non-enchanted) jewellery (of personal value, he likes knowing that you trust him with things that are of personal value to you)

• the obvious: materials (especially infernal ones)

———————

Rolan

Love Language(s): Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gift Giving

Giving:

• his presence

• magic shows, little lessons of him also teaching you some tricks

• magic, magic, magic, so much magic

• the type for handwritten letters

• careful, those handwritten letters are one of the only times in the year that he lets his sassy act down and is entirely honest — he probably wrote it drunk

• he would praise you in the letter, tell you how beautiful and strong you are, how much he liked you ever since you dared to tell him to stay at the grove

• alcohol, definitely the type to gift you the best alcohol he can find

• a dance (he’s classy like that)

• after act 3, invites you to Ramazith tower and shows you all the secrets and surprises he found (he’s very excited)

• also shows you his favourite books in the tower

Receiving:

• anything enchanted (this includes you)

• a letter in return to his

• food. Feed that man, he deserves it.

• sweet things, pretty Christmas cookies, build a gingerbread house with him (it’ll be chaotic)

• depending on how good you can cook, you can cook him a hearty stew, something with dark broth, soft meat and a little red wine in it to spice up the taste

• hug him

• he acts like he doesn’t enjoy being hugged but he absolutely does.

• and he NEEDS to be hugged

• tell him he’s precious

• take him to the Christmas market & hold his hand the whole time

[theultimatedilflover]

Jigsaw falling into place.

Yes. Ok? This is based off the Radiohead song. ITS TO FUCKING GOOD NOT TO BE.

TW: mndi. ‼️⚠️

Cigarettes, weed, a lot of story before the smut, which there isn’t a lot of either. I just kind of thought this was ok for being wrote in an hour while it’s 4:00 A.M.

He’s wanted you, ok? Forever. For so fucking long he should start tallying the days on a wall. Like some fucking prisoner. Mike was in your friend group. You guys would fuck around a lot, go out driving pick random people up. You two weren’t terribly close. There were 5 of you. Three girls and two boys, Mike being one of them. He’s a very flirtatious person. Always winking and making people blush with his quick compliments. He always focused very intently so even if something changed the slightest on anything or anyone, he could tell. That was what also helped with his charismatic personality. ( I was about to put rizz. THE VOICES.) So if someone got even an inch off their hair he’d be able to tell almost instantly. But you, you were different. Sure he flirted. All jokes. But he needed you like oxygen. And sure you found him super hot. Like drop dead gorgeous in a weird way. But you never realized how he would practically throw him self at you. It got so bad one day that even your other guy friend said something about it when he wasn’t listening. But all you said in response every single time was. “What? Mike?? Pfttt.. no..” with a laugh. He would buy you flowers, let you use his lighter. WHICH HES VERY PRECIOUS ABOUT. It’s got an 8 ball on it. He’s had since he was a teenager. And it still works. Whenever it stops working he would take it apart and put fuel in it before building it back up again. So him letting you borrow it the instant you ask is saying something. By the way he looked at you alone. The way whenever you spoke he immediately stopped what he was doing to hold maybe 2 seconds of eye contact with you. But to him it was worth it. He’d look at you even if someone else was talking. And for god sake your style was just fucking insane. Your music, your outfits, your passion, your drive. Everything about you just made him fucking sick on love. He would think about all the gold jewelry you wore (sorry for the silver girlies 😣). Chunky earring, rings, bracelets, and necklaces. You liked jewelry everywhere. And he found it so sexy. The baggy jorts you’d wear with belt. The baby t’s you would wear. The indoor soccer shoes. The lace ankle socks. All of it. Back to the lighter thing. Not only did he let you borrow it in a way of telling you he trusts you, but because he loves the way your lips look wrapped around a cigarette. And he’ll never forget the night when you all of you guys were on a beach late at night, all high as shit. Smoking a pack. And you leaned forward to him and blew smoke into his mouth as he spoke. Normally he would probably crash out. But that was so hot to him. He could’ve took you right then and there on the beach, in front of the whole squad. But he was terrified. He was terrified with the fact that there’s a chance you would deny him. And if you did it would be awkward for the whole friend group. Not only that but if you guys were to get together, and if you guys were to separate it would be awkward to be friends and would probably split up the group if he’s being honest. That’s until one day you become aware. The jigsaw literally falls into the fucking place. But you don’t say anything.

He’s licking his lips while watching you talk. Nodding as he listens to you. His eyes flashing up and down your face. Making eye contact with you and then back down to your lips. But you ignore it. You and your friends do what you do every night. Blast music and ride around wherever. Obviously you ask for aux. but you were in the mood for some Lana del Rey. And since there were two other cunty queens in the car with you, you guys ended up listening to Ultraviolence. Your singing a long like your life depends on it as he admires you. Your friend passes Mike the joint. The driver not smoking. “Hey, I’ll stop somewhere and I’ll smoke then. I’ve got 4 other people in the car that I love. Can’t be intoxicated.” He said. (Our driver). Mike takes a drag off of it. He then offers it to you, you nod. But you don’t take it. He smiles taking the hint and bringing it up to your lips. You wrap your lips around the joint and take a drag off of it. He smiles. “Atta girl..” he says. You let the substance hit your body. You practically melt as you relax from the reliever. He passed to your guys other friend and forget about it. When you guys pull over into a Taco Bell parking lot you and Mike immediately ask. “Can I drive?” At the same time. You two weren’t intoxicated anymore. You were buzzed 30 minutes ago but completely sober now. “I would say no but I’ll let you guys figure this one out.” He says back to you guys. You hold up your fist on top of your hand as he mirrors your action.’“If I lose I’m going in shot gun.” I say. Your friend in the passenger agrees. “That’s fine.” She says. You guys begin to rock paper scissor and you lose. But you don’t mind cause you still get the passenger. Whenever the car situation is handled you guys begin to drive. As you guys drive you realize more and more that his actions were simply to gain your attention. Everything was for you. Maybe not in a Joe Goldberg style but in a good way. You guys pull over into a field and sit down. All staring at the stars. That’s whenever you and Mike turn to face each other. And he breathes your name. And you know this is the time. You nod and say his name back as you guys kiss. And this is what you guys have been missing. Everyone acts surprised but in reality everyone knew. You straddle him as he sits up and you guys kiss more and more. But you stop him. “Not yet..” you whisper. And he looks at you like you just killed his entire family. “Just.. wait..”you say after getting off his lap. When you guys get back into the car you switched back into your original spots. And you’re so tired. So you rest your head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around you instantly. You guys lived near by. 1 house away for eachother to be exact, which is so ironic. Whenever you guys get dropped off you remember that song again as you guys walk away from each other. The jigsaw falls into place once again realizing how much he’s tried to do to get you attention. There’s nothing to explain how much he wants you. You’ve already known this whole time just been to stupid to realize. And both of you guys feel it. So you look back. Not just once, and not just twice. And that’s whenever you guys go into your guys houses. You sigh as you begin to undress but then something stops you. You go over to your door to open and and head over to mikes house. But he’s already standing there ready to knock. He immediately drops his keys and kisses you. Closing the front door with his foot.

You guys kiss sloppily. You tug at his hair as he begins to undress you. While still kissing you. “I’ve needed this so bad.” He whines in your mouth as your guys tongue swirl together. After awhile of you awkwardly walking backwards to lead him to your room he picks up and take you to it himself. He puts you on the bed and undresses. And so do you, he crawls on top of you and worships your tanned body. Kissing every inch he can find. Whimpering in pleasure even though nothings happened to him yet. “I’ve needed this.” He repeats huskily. And that when you give him the ok. But he shakes his head. “N— not yet.” He says while kissing your abdomen. Slowly making it to your cunt. And when he does, he immediately throws your legs over his body and swirling over your clit. Eating you out like it’s the thing he’ll ever do. Tongue fucking you until you’re fluttering. Your tugging at his hair as he smiles against his meal. He leans up and kisses you. “I want it.” You whisper to him. “You want it?” You repeats back to you almost like he’s making fun of you. “Mike please.” You beg. “No.” He laughs. “What do you want?” (Notebook reference?). “You. I want you.”you say. “That’s what I figured.” He said before trying to slide into you. And you take it like a champ. He fucks you so fucking good. Your back arches as he angles himself, he hits you so deep your pretty sure your gagging due to it being on your throat. (Jk. I’m being dramatic.) “so good. Just like imagined.” He whines as he watches and feels you grip around him. And after the 3rd time of you guys nutting he asks for one more. “Please honey. I need you so bad.” He whines. So you give him one last one. Bouncing on him senseless. And he just watches. Mesmerized as he wraps a hand around your beautiful neck. You moan and bite your lip as you put your hands on his chest to balance you self. You come one last time as you yawn and collapse next to him. He goes over to his jeans and turns them inside out as soon as you go over to snuggle with them. Your heart sinks. But all he does is reach into his pocket and grab a cigarette and his old ass lighter. He lays back down next you before lighting it and taking a drag. You don’t snuggle up next to him. So after his cigarette he puts it out and cuddles next to you. You smile as you turn around and sleep skin to skin.

[fantasykim]

Writing sprint

“Hey, can I ask a weird question?” she asked, I nodded for her to continue. “Did you ever have a crush on me? Ya know, back in highschool?” 

I looked down at my hands, picking at the last bits of nail polish and chewing the inside of my cheek. I wonder if I had been obvious about it, or if she was only realizing in hindsight. Or maybe she was just curious. I had always been out and proud since before we met. And she only just came out to me. Makes sense she might ask a question like this.

I took in a deep breath and held it in for a moment before responding with a small, sheepish smile. “Yeah… I did.” 

At first I had just thought she was the coolest person I’d ever met. I traded in my leggings and skirts for jeans after a few months of knowing her. When she wore a bandana in her hair, so did I. Sometimes we would match colors by accident. Those days made me smile brighter.

I watched every show she mentioned, and listened to every song she quoted. Just to understand her better. So I could relate, and talk about whatever she wanted to talk about. 

She cared about me in a way no one ever had before, and it touched me in ways I’d never understood until meeting her. And I fell for her. Hard and fast. She was my everything. I couldn’t go a day without talking about her, to her, thinking about her. 

Her arsenal of bracelets and rings made me look into jewelry. And I bought her a necklace. One day I asked her what piece of her jewelry she loved most, and I prayed she would say the yin that hung around her neck, that matched the yang hanging from mine. And when she did I had to hide my smile.

I told her secrets I’d never shared before. She didn’t judge me on my low days, instead she lifted me up. And I did the same for her. We made sure we had at least half of the same classes each year of highschool. And her mother never asked if I was coming over anymore because she knew the answer was yes.

I was so in love with her. 

But she was straight. So I dated other girls, tried to pretend I wasn’t. But I only got hurt in the process.

Maybe I hid behind those relationships, for fear of her realizing I loved her.  Had it not worked? Had she seen through it all? The only problem was even though she wasn’t straight anymore, I still couldn’t have her.

“When did you stop?” she asked with a smug smile. “Having a crush on me, I mean.” she knew she was beautiful. She was the most confident girl I’d ever met. And I’m so lucky it rubbed off on me in our highschool years.

When I got too low and it started to drag her down, I thought I had lost her as a friend. But I didn’t stop loving her then. When we got into a huge fight junior year, and didn’t talk for a month. I thought it was all over. But my heart still ached for her then. When I tried a little to hard to get her to be around me and she was annoyed, I feared I had scared her away. But we stayed best friends.

When she called her other good friend a ‘best friend’ it sent a dagger through my heart. But I know more than most people that you can have more than one best friend. But sometimes I stayed awake at night, wondering if she thought of me as a best friend, or if it was only one sided like my love. I simply couldn’t stand the thought.

I wrote essays on how much she meant to me, letters she would never read. Epic poems of how deep my love ran through my veins, all of it for her, but she would never know. Because what if it was too much. What if that was what made her turn her back on me?

What if offering to turn out friendship into a relationship was the straw that broke the camel's back. Something we could never come back from.

I couldn’t take that chance.

I opened our texts and typed it out hundreds of times, only to abuse the backspace key into wanting a divorce with me. When I ever did say something sweet to her, she would always laugh it off and brush it aside. So instead of letting each other know we valued the other, we called each other names with big smiles.

I still tell her basically everything. But I have a feeling it’s not the same for her. And I wonder when the rift between us came to be. Are we more fragile now? Were we stronger before?

I’m scared of what my words can do, and how I can never take them back. But i’ve waited long enough. I’ve waisted so much time already. I’ll never move on if I don't know how she feels about me in return.

When did I stop liking her?

I chuckled softly and bit my lip. Then slowly lift my eyes to meet hers.

“I never did.”

[tadpolesonalgae]

Hello just got the courage to read cbmthy chapter 17 and resprectfully wtf. How can a person have the incredible ability to write such gut wreching angst, I wil never know how you do it. What can I say beside the obvious, you are a great writer and please dont stop writting, the way you create such captivating character and write SJM characters so realistic and three dimensional is incredible. And you overdid yourself on the angst on this chapter. Mor's "maybe you arent made for first choice" is the most visceral reaction causing line from this ff so far for me and I though Azriels burden one was rough oh boy. Speaking of our shadow man, what if he was awake the whole time and Mor didnt want reader to talk to him in that moment and he heared everything dum dum dummm...Maybe after our girlie moves into Bas's place and returnes what stuff Mor bought her that day in Velaris 'as a birthday gift' that day at her room s doorstep, and gets some time to find herself, maybe Azriel can actually allow the reader to reveal who she is as a person and maybe stand against Mor if she continues her mean girl behaviour against reader, cause girlie she didnt go to Autumn to hurt/ create a plan with Eris to hurt you. She went there because lack of connections and the weight of the feeling she isnt enough to allow herself to share her "burdens " with her sisters and the IC was crushing the girl. I reeallly hope Azriel clarifies the situation the whole prophecy and reader train of though because we know the IC wont listen to it fully otherwise. But afterall you know Azriel well and I trust to give us the most fluffy scenes between them when the time is right, cause our girls self esteem was low but now with the way her hands look and how she feels about them is down bad, Azriel can surely relate and offer this girl for once some reassurance.I hope you can give us a cameo of Eris and reader once in a while , their ring exchange screams 'summer camp friendship bracelet exchange'and I found it so damn adorable. I hope you keep updating this series and take care of ur well being and keep being awesome.

‘How can a person have the incredible ability to write such gut wreching angst, I wil never know how you do it.’

I— thank you so much 😭 I honestly believe it’s just because people have chosen to engage with the fic and the reader and because of that choice are more immersed so certain parts hit harder? I’m sure if you weren’t interested in reader, the story wouldn’t have such an effect on you—it’s thanks to your interactions and willingness to believe in reader as a person instead of a character 🧡💛

I also kind of enjoy people found ch. 16 to be angsty too despite 15 being the one I was genuinely trying to make sad 😭 ch. 16 was supposed to be the happy one 😭🤦 maybe all cbmthy chapters are just doomed to have a tiny bit of angst in them

‘And you overdid yourself on the angst on this chapter. Mor's "maybe you arent made for first choice" is the most visceral reaction causing line from this ff so far for me and I though Azriels burden one was rough oh boy.’

I’m not going to lie, I wrote that and spent a couple of hours wondering if that was too much for Mor to say? I do really like Mor in the books, so I don’t want to make her ‘bad’ in the story, so hopefully it wasn’t so far that people won’t be able to understand her side after a bit…? 🫣👀🧡💛😭

‘Speaking of our shadow man, what if he was awake the whole time and Mor didnt want reader to talk to him in that moment and he heared everything dum dum dummm...’

🫢👀👀👀👀

‘But afterall you know Azriel well and I trust to give us the most fluffy scenes between them when the time is right’

I’m very happy you enjoy my interpretation of Azriel 🧡💛

And yes!!!! I can’t tell you any of them but I have so many ideas for future cbmthy moments between Az and reader!!! Some of them I’m not sure I’ll actually be able to write since they’re a bit too unrealistic, but I’m looking forward to telling the rest of their story and hearing what you think about reader’s decisions (and everyone else’s of course!!)

Ugh, I just want to get into The Happy Years! Reader deserves to live A Little Life!!! I’m still figuring out the fine details of the ending (it’s not exactly near, but I do have to keep it in mind, perhaps more now that we’re past the turning point in reader’s story?) but I really, genuinely hope people will enjoy this second half of cbmthy 😭

‘I hope you can give us a cameo of Eris and reader once in a while’

There’s for certain one scene that I’ll be writing (that will likely be near the end) with reader and Eris that I’m absolutely dying to write! Not just because it’s reader and Eris but also the context and the details and I’m so excited!!! It’s ages away though 😫

‘their ring exchange screams 'summer camp friendship bracelet exchange'and I found it so damn adorable.’

Oh my gosh I hadn’t thought of it that way, that’s so sweet and endearing 😭 especially since Eris is sometimes a little mean to her but overall I think they have fun together (well, Eris definitely wouldn’t describe it as fun 🤦)

I think reader does need to get him back though, in some way 🤔

‘I hope you keep updating this series and take care of ur well being and keep being awesome.’

I hope so too! And thank you so much for kindly writing in to share your thoughts and just generally speak about cbmthy—it’s so heartwarming getting to read through 🫂🧡💛

(And take care of yourself, too, please 🫂)

[autistic-sidestep]

🧿 and 💋 for Sura, please!

🧿Do they have a superstition or belief? Such as "black cats bring bad luck", belief in ghosts, tarot, crystals, meditation, etc.

yep! there's a reason why eyes are a central motif to argos' design (and in general just being rife with symbolism. im linking the posts i wrote up a while back bc i don't really have the spoons to add anything new). they've picked up a lot of things from other people, baby sura was a bit like a sponge absorbing other peoples' belief systems from people they liked (so some of stuff of ortega's or elena's from the time spent with them).

like they used to wear a nazar bracelet/pendant (which ricardo kept) and prayed. both were things they picked up from the various people sura met during their first escape, since they'd observed cultural things were something you could find common interests and community. ("these people look like me, therefore, maybe i should do that to fit in?").

sura was still willing to learn even if it never fully understood the customs, but it was really the communal aspect to it that they found so appealing, the connection and unified purpose that they didn't really get to experience at the farm (seeing, but never being able to participate). similar reasons for the draw to vigilantism and becoming sidestep, i think. so sura picked up a bunch of different customs, (including avoiding pork, up until the nanosurge at which point they went basically pescetarian if not vegetarian, (raw) meat made sura nauseous after that).

i think post hb they're a bit less superstitious now. but there's still some traditions sura will still keep up, like prayer (and using an accompanying mat/cushion), or using tealights and incense. it doesn't really believes in higher beings anymore (or at least not in benevolent ones. what was that quote in nitw? "a universe that doesn't care, but people that do." feels kinda fitting. entropy and forces that aren't really personified, that just are for fate motive? although i might swap it to anger/justice and have it as a secondary motive.), but just for the routine and comfort of it (autism). also i think it factors well into sura's outsider scar and attempting to heal it.

not to mention sura's had some habits in the past like. letting the microwave timer go off is not only bad, the whole day's ruined now. when they used to hang out in the rangers hq breakroom sura would just. stop the timer a second before it was done. even if it wasn't their food. no beeping allowed. >:( (i'd hesitate to call this a compulsion but it certainly was one of sura's eccentricities.)

(does this make sense lol. i am so exhausted)

💋Do they kiss first? And do they bite their lips if they're mischievous or aroused? And do they bite their partner's lips when they try and pull away?

kissing first depends on the context, but Probably yes if they know the other party is interested. sura's not really one to presume on that front, since their orientation stuff makes figuring that out little wonky. i think sura's puppet/ace/juno is allo so that makes things extra confusing flipping from her body to itself and the fact it's less confident dealing with "romantic" stuff as itself. sura can fake it well enough as juno since she's meant to be attractive and deal with the stuff that comes with (dating, flirting, etc.)

sura? less so. even with argos, there's a degree of separation between that persona and its civilian self. but yes to lip biting, probably a big tell lol. biting partners lips…. i could see it, yeah, just to tease as long as they can tell there's nothing wrong? all comes down to how comfortable they are with the other party, ig

[pansexual-lilychen]

Grace sexually assaulted teenage boys under mind control but yes let’s romanticize her TSC fandom because she’s ✨pretty✨

actually, she was forced (sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly) to those actions by tatiana. throughout the books it’s mentioned that grace has had no romantic interest in james and that she doesn’t want this relationship with him. in the flashbacks it’s made clear that she much rather stay friends with him, it’s even mentioned that she doesn’t mind the idea of james being in love with cordelia at all and she kept trying to break him free of the bracelet, several times before he managed to free himself - here it is important to note that everytime she returned the bracelet to jamie she was forced to do so and either her own life / safety was threatened or jesse’s.

this is a very nuanced situation and though it maybe hard to comprehend, grace was forced into this situation, in a different way from jamie, yes, but forced non the less.

now as for matthew, ive always hated that scene, but i also understand that grace felt like she had no other option and this was the first thing that came to her mind to keep matthew off her back. she was raised by tatiana in a way that she only knew her feminine charms as a weapon, literally, so that’s what she used on matthew (i imagine to her it is no different than a blade, not that it excuses anything).

again i feel like every bad thing she has done can be lead back and blamed on tatiana, or belial in some instances. she grew up in an abusive household with a mentally unstable and cruel women to “raise” her, that constantly threatened her, belittled and bullied her, not to mention groomed her to be her right hand women; and later when tatiana was temporarily out of the picture (after being attacked by a demon and later while being imprisoned) belial took over and threatened jesse’s safety.

throughout the book when grace powers are elaborated and how tatiana forced her to practice them on mundane men and then use them on james it is always stated that she does not enjoy using her powers, she sees herself as jamie’s friend and has his best interest at heart - while still trying to protect herself and her brother (again she initially didn’t even tell tatiana for that her powers didn’t work on james and tries to take back the bracelet twice to free him.). this is to me especially underlined by her interaction with christoper in chain of iron, where she knows she could let him do her bidding and force him to help her but she states clearly that she doesn’t want to do that.

i do think that the matthew situation was a little different as it wasn’t directly ordered by tatiana but rather an action that grace did on her own, but to me it is a cry for help, grace doesn’t know how to help herself unless it is through her powers so even though i do not condone that one specific action i do unterstand why she did it.

and lastly, i wanted to mention again how grace is very much a victim of her circumstances and she was forced into the relationship with james just as much as he was, only she wasn’t brainwashed. also cassandra clare very much wanted grace to be a complex character rather than just a morally good character and called her actions morally grey on several occasions.

one last thing i want to clarify: i never, ever romanticized the sexual assault any of the characters went through. i believe you, anon, wrote me this ask after i compared her to suki waterhouse. this comparison: 1) started out as a joke and clearly labelled as such, and 2) is just two blonde girls in white dresses. the original post had nothing to do with grace’s characterisation, actions and least of all the brainwashing of any of the male characters

[fenimores-book-nook]

My Thoughts ~ 10/23/23

Gooooooood evening, well, evening for me. It is 6:55 PM where I'm at. The other day I wrote up a draft that ended up being Halloween costume themed but I decided not to post it. I don't know why you need to know that information but I feel like it's valid. This post however, is just a little writing thang that I feel like working on right now. :) Who knows what I'll write about in this one, but let's find out.

Now that I have my cozy Christmas jazz on, we're ready to get going. Yes, I said Christmas jazz. I've been feeling very much in a Christmas mood lately. Which is interesting because last year I wasn't, not even really on Christmas Day. But I'm happy about the early Christmas feels this year because I normally love, love, LOVE Christmas. I don't think I've ever not loved Christmas. I think I maybe didn't feel the feelings I thought I would feel and it made me sad. Which is just a part of growing up and getting older, I've found. My feelings and ideas about the holidays are different now than what they were when I was a kid. And that is okay. It just takes some adjusting. ;)

And now, enjoy three holiday photos from last Christmas and a Christmas that was from when I was in eighth grade.

One of my favorite things to do is put on a fireplace with Christmas music playing while decorating our tree. :)

I always love the book-coffee shop I work at during Christmastime. It's always one of the most jolly places to be.

I wanted to include an older photo and when I came across this one, it made my heart happy. :) Here's one of my best friends and I with my pet rabbit I used to have. (his name was Phil)

I think now it's time to move away from the early holiday cheer, don't worry, there'll be more. ;)

Today, I spent the day with my sister, who lives about 45 minutes away from me. I had spent the night at her and her husband's place last night when we watched the TV show, Friends, one of our all-time favorite shows. I honestly do not know how many times I've seen it. I've watched it. A lot. It's one of my favorite comfort shows! After a couple episodes, we watched 10 Things I Hate About You, which I hadn't watched all the way through until last night. I loooove it. It'll probably be one of my comfort movies when I'm in the mood to watch a good chick-flick. After that, we watched A Christmas Kiss. Also one of our favorites, although, in my opinion, the second Christmas Kiss is better. (that one, we watched a bit of today) And finally, the last film of the night waaaaaaaas, drum-roll PLEASE!!...Red, White, and Royal Blue. Which I had read before, FELL IN LOVE WITH IT, and watched it when it came out on Amazon Prime. And now, my sister loves it too. ;) It's SUCH a good rom-com. Yes, I do think the book was better BUT, they still did a fantastic job at the movie. I had forgotten how much I love it.

That was last night, where we also made some Christmas themed bracelets. (yes, my sister is a Christmas fanatic just like me, maybe even more of one)

A Christmas Kiss on in the back. ;)

Today, both my sister and brother in-law had work so I hung out at their apartment, went to a cozy coffee shop, shopped at Spirit Halloween and Dollar Tree a little bit, and then returned to their apartment. A bit later, I left again to go to my sister's work, she's a 3rd grade teacher, so I hung out with her and the kids for a bit. Normally, I am not a kid person. But 3rd graders aren't too bad. Now, I'm not saying I want to be a teacher (nononononono) but maybe I don't dislike being around kids as much as I thought. ;)

Tonight, I'm spending the night in, writing this. I did have a community choir practice going on, but bestie..when I tell you I didn't feel up for it, I didn't feel up for it. Once I came home from my sister's, I took a much needed hour long nap (went to bed at 2 AM) and woke up extremely groggy and didn't snap more awake until, maybe two or three paragraphs into writing this. What better way to spend a night than to stay in, put on soothing jazz music, and write? That sounds pretty wonderfully magical to me.

My cozy night in. ;)

And that was my many thoughts and events of my day today!

Until the next one,

Thalia <3

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

And This...Is Why I’m Neo-Spiritual (And So What If I Believe In Magic.)

[Note: Reading This Post Is Optional. Also Don’t Reblog This Without Permission. also even if this post might not be super mature, I still will place the mature audience only and not for kids tags for this. also this will at some point talk a bit about Abel and Cain...also it is okay no one reads this, reading this post is optional. ya can wait for some fan theory posts. ]  

so some of you might know that I don’t really like when some humans are Toxic-Religious, and what happen a few years ago with some Toxic-Religious jerk who kept misusing the words “may god have mercy on you.” or “may the lord have mercy on you.” at me non-stop didn’t help any, and might of been what done it.

that person made me REALLY not like Toxic-Religious actions, and yeah like I pointed out before, no matter how many times I tried to tell them to stop that and it was hurting my feelings and making me cry, they kept doing it...

and so I had to block them, I can just hope not to run into them on here or the other places I go to.

and of course I end up finding a place that talks about “Magic” but not in the best of ways, I mean yes the stuff that was wrote says that magic is real...

but then it says that Christians and unbelievers should run from witchcraft...

also I need to say this, even if it might not be possible for everyone to use the same level of magic, but at least some can try not to use it too much and try to make sure it doesn’t get to a dangerous level....

I use my gem bracelets for a good reason, not just to protect myself from outside energies but also have them act as sealing charms and limiters so I don’t start to move anything either it be a pen or bottle of pop with my mind when I hold it with just my fingers, and yeah it was freaky when that started to happen and I had to use both food salt and praying to both the Heavenly Father & Earthly Mother for that help, which is I guess a type of magic...

though to some, it could be considered “bad magic”...

also not all magic comes from Satan, and there might be some magic that can’t truly be explained that might not match with the fictional versions in some shows, movies, video games and books that some of us love.

even if some might not fully get or understand my new beliefs, and yeah it was part of the reason that toxic-religious jerk kept using those misused words at me, and even if I did try to get them to stop, because they were hurting my feelings and making me cry, they didn’t listen and maybe because they were on some kind of self-righteous mode and thought they were “saving” and “healing” me but really they were probably only do it for the wrong reasons and they should of listen when I told them to stop it because it was hurting my feelings...

also like I pointed out before, Satan isn’t the freaking boss of me...

and even if he was Archangel Samael who had possibly fathered Cain (which once again I’m a descendant of Cain.....but also Seth as well.)

but like that person says “nothing good can come from him right...?”

so I guess I am just a accident, and “no good”....sorry, but I guess it just peeves me off a bit, and I ended up crying just a little just now....

lucky there are some tissues so I can clean them off my face...

(and yeah, I understand I had been a bit triggered by it, and maybe to take my mind off those thoughts and well I can try not to let it get to me, and maybe try to think about the Heavenly Father & Earthly Mother love me just the way I am....even if the info about Satan/Samael and Cain is true...but it be nice if it wasn’t but there is still that possibility...) 

even if I can make some mistakes, like how some of my words can be misinterpreted at times, or at times I don’t think I’m not listen to, you know like when I try to say something but sometimes it feels like.....you know my words aren’t understood well enough at times, but I want to try to do better in trying to get some of my words to be understood without it getting misunderstood all the time, even if small harmless misunderstandings can be okay, but some not so much.

and yeah, I guess I let what some person wrote, really get to me just a little to the point even talking about it in that way, ended up making me cry just a little.

I’m okay now, but even if the whole thing about Satan and Cain were true, some of us didn’t really ask to be “made” but we can try not to be like most of our ancestors and we can at least try to do better and evolve, and my using gems the way I have been, is a type of evolved magic of the modern era I guess.

and yeah I may still have some trust issues when it involves Male-Angels, as I have started to not fully trust some of them, and I don’t just mean the Fallen Ones....

even if there might be a few Male-Angels I might can trust, who aren’t insensitive and think fighting and certain level of violence solves everything.

and yeah if it were possible, I would take two pieces of bread and place it on each side of Lucifer’s face and ask him what he is....

he really picked a bad time to start that rebellion, he should of at least waited until the Toxic-Masculine Energy was fixed, but because of his little “rebellion” it only ended up getting more worse, and sure we got the Toxic-Feminine Energy now but it isn’t as high as the Toxic-Masculine Energy at the moment...

I know that not everyone who is religious is toxic-religious, plus I don’t think that everyone will know everything, even about magic and how at times it can be misused and scapegoat by those who wield it.

plus if someone does magic they shouldn’t, it’s because they were messing with the type of magic they REALLY shouldn’t of messed with in the first place, and they should take on the responsibility and realize that they are just as much at fault than the magic they messed with that they shouldn’t of in the first place.

but they shouldn’t scapegoat it, even if it is true that it is the type of magic they shouldn’t been using in the first place.

I’m still making sure to not use my pendulum a lot and only use it once in a while, and my making sure not to use it too much is my way of not over doing it with that type of magic.

also in theory if some magic is dangerous to some humans, it might be because of the level of magic in their bodies and souls, and for all we know it could also have to do with their blood type, if you don’t have a certain blood type for the right level of magic, it will possibly put you in danger.

but it could be possible that those who have a small or higher level magic in their bodies and souls, know not to foolishly mess with magic they shouldn’t, because for all we know, it could be a unspoken rule to NEVER mess with a certain type of magic.

even if there is dark and light magic, and it could be possible it can be misused at times, but there could be something that is in between, like twilight magic.

I can’t tell my family that I no longer go by Christian and I go by Neo-Spiritual now, it is one of the closets I have to be in.

well that, and the Nonbinary-Girl Closet, as well as the Aroaceflux Closet.

well I am Fictoromantic as well, and yeah that is possible...

I know I had bad luck with online boyfriends before, I don’t really plan to even try to get one again any time soon, and I know the guys I had some crushes before in real life, didn’t work out too well either, so that pretty much sucked as well.....so why even bother with high dimensional 3D ones, where I can just be happy with fictional ones, who I can get small crushes on and still ship with other characters either it be OCs or canon characters from the same universe or a different universe and series, making it a Crossover ship.

and I don’t want to be told “oh, you just need a real boyfriend.”

yeah, even if I do decide to do that, the said boyfriend will need to understand that at times I do NOT want to be touched, and if he tries to hug me from behind I will possibly have the moments where I will get scared easy and not like it.

not to mention that I need my space, my place of sanctuary to just be alone to relax and maybe listen to some music or play video games or reading or watch a movie or show I like.

of course I think I like that more, since the whole terrible house guest situation that happen a few years ago, I couldn’t get the proper space and it was possibly half the reason for that depression that hit me....at some point I couldn’t take it and having to move to the place we live at now, had been I guess the final straw.

also even if it is true that some dumb humans back in ancient times misused magic and had tricked people into thinking it was the will of the Heavenly Father.

like the info about the Frogs and Egypt...

it could be possible, that their misuse of the magic would have it’s own karma, and they could of not been able to use that higher level of magic anymore, because they misused it.

also my faith was starting to go even more in a fragile place before, but if some info I had read before, and I’m not talking about the site that has to do with the whole magic thing....

then I guess it does give me some hope that things are slowly getting better.

and I think maybe if I don’t sleep when I should or eat something, I guess I can become weak to some pretty negative feelings.                                                    

also if some Magicians as the info says, did try to summon gnats but couldn’t, it is possibly because they were being punished for misusing the magic in such a way.

plus I don’t know what level of magic I have in me, but I know that I might not be able to handle it if it ends up being a certain type, I don’t want to end up like Carrie White from the Carrie Movie Series or Alessa Gillespie from Silent Hill Video Game Series and Silent Hill Movies.

I don’t mind if it is just my necklaces that I hold that end up moving like my pendulum, but I don’t want to get too strong where it goes past just holding something physically with my fingers and it start to move a bit with just a thought when I hold it with just my fingers...

I wear my gem bracelets for a good reason, so it doesn’t evolve past to what is now....I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it or even fully control it.

the other reasons being to protect myself from harmful energies...

and I’m still going to wear them when I go to sleep, to protect me when I sleep.

in a way, it is like protection magic, and yeah even if some might not fully understand or agree with it, it is what it is for me...

I’m still not 100% sure it will work for everyone, but at least it has helped some.

I know I wasn’t really planing on crying a bit when thinking and talking about that whole Satan thing....but not all magic comes from him, I believe that is possible and yeah I guess my feelings were hurt just a little.

of course that toxic-religious person from a few years ago, had did far worse in hurting my feelings than that....                           

of course I have went through a breaking point where I ended up in a second depression that didn’t feel great, even if I still had stuff and people to make me feel a little happy, that bad feeling was still there.....and it took a lot of time to heal fully. 

and yeah, I now believe that Cain wasn’t born a monster but became that way because of how he was raised and him falling into a very dangerous spiritual and emotional depression.

bad parenting did happen in the ancient past as well, and while Abel may still had good in him, he still had some dark problems that has to do with his ego and not seeing that his brother was in spiritual and emotional pain and it was reaching a dangerous breaking point.

and if we think logically, Cain is possibly not the first human to take a life.

I mean what about Abel, and how he had did those offerings...?

even if it is normal for some animals to be used as livestock, but you can’t just do it in the wrong way, I mean it’s one thing to play video games where you can hunt for some animals and even have to fight the bad guys...

but I think Abel was just much as in the wrong as Cain was.

if Abel was the first life that Cain had taken, then what about the flock who lives that Abel has taken, those that he had taken the lives of just to be used in a offering, not in the way where it is to feed the bellies of his family or to keep them warm during when it gets cold....at least feeding his family and helping them keep warm when it gets cold, that is one of the good things.

if humans share in the food they eat, like fruits, vegetables and meat, and maybe even some fish....they can be thankful and maybe like spiritually share it without it ending up like how Abel did it...

plus for all we know, it could be possible that Abel had crossed a line he shouldn’t of, and it had ended up pushing Cain even more into the darkness he was falling into....which ended up with Cain giving Abel a “game over”...

I know it might not be possible that many will even read this, and well I’m fine with that, I did have this say that reading this post is optional. 

I might not know everything and I might not be a 100% genius.

but I can still think about some stuff and figure out maybe small stuff....

like figuring out the whole thing with Abel and Cain, has more to it and how Cain had became the way he did, was because some pretty bad spiritual and emotional depression, and he wasn’t getting the help he needed from Adam or Eve possibly....

and I don’t think humans should go scapegoating magic, if they misuse it or mess with some certain magic they should of messed with in the first place, than they should take on some responsibility and know they are just as much at fault as the magic they had messed with that they shouldn’t in the first place and had misused.

and even the magic that could still be okay to use, so long as you take breaks from using it so not to use it too much, can be misused.

prayer magic, in the right way can be used but to not just help yourself but to help others....in theory, praying to God, could be a type of magic communication.

and yeah, some might not agree with my whole believing in both God and Goddess now, but I ain’t gonna do that force converting thing...

there is still some things that can’t be fully explained by humans, even the whole Aliens from Space.

even if some people in this world don’t believe Aliens are real, but it is possible that they are, and humans can’t really explain fully on why we are here, why did we evolve the way we have, and where do we really go when we reach the afterlife.

plus the afterlife could be bigger than what we know it is, and the afterlife is much bigger than what we think it is, and our minds just can’t fully comprehend it unless we open our minds more to the possibility.

like every different type of afterlife versions that is talked about on Earth, could turn out to be all true, and it could only touch half of what is in the afterlife...

also is it possible if you don’t eat something when you need it right now or if your a little tired, you can kind of give into some negative feelings, even if that might not always be the case...

but I know I can still get some negative thoughts and some feelings about myself....but I can at least try not to.

and yeah if I choose to believe that some magic is real and some might not be, and know that there is some magic you do NOT mess with, because there is just some that shouldn’t be touched, because it is not meant for humans and mortals.

even if you do discover you can use magic and some of it ends up being unlocked, it is best not to use it too much, ya can still use the prayer type which could be seen as a type of Holy Magic...but some other magic will not have to be used too much all the time I think.

that freaky thing that started to happen with the radio could be seen as a type of magic, but it only happens once in a while and in different ways...

just call me the “Radio Earth Angel” which thankfully isn’t as close to being like Alastor The Radio Demon from Hazbin Hotel, and I’m fine with that. 

there could be some magic that is just too dangerous for humans to use, and they should know better to use it, because by choosing to use it, they will end up misusing it and possibly placing the full blame on it and scapegoating it, instead of taking the proper responsibility and admit it is their fault for using it in the first place and even misusing it when they shouldn’t of.

I guess it is thanks to watching some cartoons, like My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic and even Star Vs The Forces Of Evil, has taught me a bit that magic can be misused and even scapegoated when the user of the magic ends up misusing it....like sucking up all the magic from Equestria and placing it into three crystals and forcing ponies to get along even during small disagreements, just destroying magic when it was Moon Butterfly who had crossed a line when she had misused the magic...

I still like those two shows, but I can’t fully agree with the choices some of the characters made, and if anyone has to fix Princess Twilight’s mess, it is Sunny, Izzy, Zipp, Pipp, Hitch and Misty.

and if the magic has to be fixed the right way where it doesn’t glitch and force ponies to get along, then maybe releasing the magic by destroying those unity crystals might be the only way to fix what Princess Twilight had broken.

it will still let Earth Ponies keep their new magic, but it will also help stop the forcing everypony into “friendship” when their magic doesn’t work right.

also, if Celestia and Luna are the reason why Opaline became the way she is, then it doesn’t seem all that surprising given the whole Sunset Shimmer situation....Celestia and Luna might of still been lying about why Flurry Heart was born a Alicorn.

but anyway, even if I know that not everyone is toxic-religious and I know there are some people who are Christian, who wont be like well....some who will just assume that some stuff involves Satan, cause once again he ain’t the boss of me...

and it is possible for those who are religious or not religious at all, to end up with toxic-religious trauma because of how a toxic-religious person or a toxic-religious group had treated them.

and it could possibly cause them to become a bit sensitive and get a bit triggered when it comes to toxic-religious people and the lines they cross.

anyway I can believe that some magic is real, but also that some magic can be misused by some people and they will even misuse magic they shouldn’t of been messing with in the first place, but could still find ways to scapegoat the magic that they had misused and shouldn’t of been using in the first place.

I think I like being Neo-Spiritual better, and not everyone has to agree with it, but I’m still gonna stay in the closet about it when it comes with my family.

besides it might be fine that I don’t go by Christian anymore, plus not all my Ancestors were Christians, and some were Jewish.

anyway if by chance some do end up reading all of this, and hopefully there was no misunderstandings....I hope some can understand about my talk about the whole magic thing and how there are just some magic that people shouldn’t mess with and remember to not misuse magic, even the type that you shouldn’t be using in the first place....which once again, should NOT use the magic that shouldn’t be used by a mortal because there is a chance a mortal can misuse it and it could end up being too much for them to handle.

also no matter if it is true or not, about the whole Satan and Cain thing, but if Adam isn’t Cain’s Bio-Dad, he is still technically Cain’s true father, because sometimes your true parent, isn’t always the one who gave you life, but the one who has loved you and who had raised you, even if at times they don’t do 100% a perfect job and make some mistakes....and could end up in the gray-parenting zone.

so yeah, even if it is true that Satan was possibly Cain’s Bio-Dad, that doesn’t make him his true father, some might understand the logic of what I’m trying to explain about this, and I hope some get what I mean.

so yeah, Adam is Cain’s True Father, even if he isn’t his Biological Father.

and maybe Adam does regret not doing better in raising both Cain and Abel...

Adam wasn’t very great during his much younger days, if the info about Lilith turns out to be 100% true, and I believe it is...

anyway if I have anymore thoughts or theories about magic, I can talk about it again in a future post...                                                                                              

[kim-poce]

In the Dark - Overreacting

Look! I wrote them! My new babies!

Next

CW: captivity, cigarette burns.

=-=

Ashtray heard the front door being open, which sounded so loud. Maybe because of the long time in the silent darkness or maybe it was just the fear from what was to come.

M. walked in with ease humming some melody to himself, the dark rooms meant nothing to him as he avoided the furniture after leaving his cane near the front door. 

The door had been closed and the short moment in which the sunlight entered the house was over; it was all dark again. Ashtray tried to be quiet, keeping the whimpering in, not even breathing anymore. Maybe if they were completely silent M. wouldn’t hurt them again, maybe they would be forgotten this way.

Their plan was soon to fail, all it took was for M. to light his lighter, the sound making Ashtray back away in a movement that made all the little bells on their bracelets, anklets and collar tinkle, telling the still humming M. just where his victim was.

Ashtray whimpered, the light had allowed them to see their captor’s face for a while, but now they could only see the small blaze on the cigarette, moving towards M.’s favorite armchair.

“Come here little thing,” M. purred, and the room fell silent for a few seconds, Ashtray still with the little hope that they would be left alone, “Don’t make me go after you.”

A threat. It was dangerous even with the humming tone of voice. No. It was worse with this voice. They whimpered once, the bells signaling their movement as the crawled closer. If they try to walk they will trip on some furniture, and it would make M. so so mad, crawling is safer.

“There you are,” M. purred when Ashtray knelt by his feet, he rested his warm hand on their head, getting a whine in response, “Shhhh shhhhh, why are you so uneasy today? Did you miss me that much?”

“...y-yes,” Ashtray lied as M. traced their face with his huge hands, fortunately not the one with the cigarette. Not yet.

It took their everything not to back away from the unwanted touch, the fear made them shiver enough for the bells don’t stop.

“Cry for me,” M. said, and they did, feeling their captor’s thumb wiping the tears away as the room was filled with half-muffled sobs.

M.’s hand went down from Ashtray’s face to their neck, he shushed their pleas for mercy and held tightly on their collar, almost cutting away all the air, making them struggle weakly, “Quiet. You can handle this, right? Or are you implying that you want to train on it again?”

The threat was more than enficiente and made Ashtray use all the little air they got to beg for the lesser evil, “N-n-no please, please, I’ll be quiet, I’ll-”

“Shhhh.”

M. brought the cigarette down and Ashtray groaned at the white pain. Their eyes were filled with even more tears and they struggled again, but it only made the grip of the collar tighten, enough for them not to get any air to keep fighting and whimpering.

When it was over, Ashtray coughed, trying to get some air, the bells shaking and tinkling non-stop.

“Stop overreacting,” M. complained with a hard slap across Ashtray’s face, who muffled their coughs and whines just until they heard the cigarette box being shaken again, “It’s just a little scratch,” M. said, lighting a new cigarette.

=-=

Taglist (will only tag this time unless asked to be tagged!): @endlesscyclezz @theadorelocksly

[coldsandfluff]

Y/ounger Sickfic (F, Liza/Charles)

So I figured I should start migrating all of my fics over here in case the forum never comes back. Hopefully some of you haven't read them yet and will enjoy them!

This one is a Y/ounger fic set in the first season, when Liza is just starting her job as Diana's assistant. She comes down with a cold, and Charles notices. I basically wrote it because Charles gave me HUGE care-taking vibes after he went to the hospital to check on Liza when she hurt her leg, and there's nothing hotter to me than a boss in a suit caring for someone with a cold 🔥

Editorial Weakness

“Liza… LIZA!”

Diana’s voice wormed its way through the thick fog of Liza’s daydreaming—or rather daynightmaring. Liza snapped back to reality, realizing that her name had probably been called quite a few times in an increasingly exasperated way. One look at her boss confirmed it: Diana’s face was flushed beyond her heavy-handed blush application, her signature red lips transformed into a straight, annoyed line.

And of course, everyone else in the conference room was staring at her. Including Charles Brooks, handsome CEO of Empirical Press. Literate, piercing blue-eyed gentlemen, always dressed to the nines. Also known as Liza’s boss’s boss.

Liza sat up straighter, tempting a friendly smile towards Diana. “Yes?”

Try as she might, she could not replay the last five minutes of the discussion in her head as she usually could, a trick she’d learned long ago as a mother. The ability to temporarily filter out the incessant babbling of her daughter when she was younger had been critical for Liza’s mental health, but she had always been able to count on her brain to rewind when the child would suddenly say something odd. For context, of course. Because when your six-year-old asks “what’s a cock,” it’s important to know that she was just watching a documentary about chickens. And don’t ask why she was watching a documentary about chickens.

“If you would stop gallivanting about at frat parties every night, maybe you would have enough energy during the day to pay attention during meetings, Liza.” Diana shot a knowing look towards Charles, as if to say “kids these days,” but Charles didn’t notice. He was looking at Liza with a slight frown.

Liza stared at her notebook on the table, pressing her lips together. She was still getting used to the condescending “millenials” remarks from Diana. While she no longer felt the need to shout “I’M 40 YEARS OLD” in protest every time, it still made her feel guilty for the lie she was living. She’d forget about it for a few hours, and then something like this would happen, and guilt would rear its ugly head all over again. When Liza had faked being 26 years old to get hired at Empirical, she had never expected it to become such a big deal in her day-to-day life. It was a lesson in humility. Age mattered more than people believed.

And now, not only was she lying to all of them, she also wasn’t paying attention during a meeting where she was tasked to take notes. In front of Charles himself, no less. A true employee of the year.

“College students go to frat parties, Diana,” Kelsey said, her annoyance veiled in politeness. “Not working adults.” As a true representative of the millennials, Kelsey never missed an opportunity to correct Diana. Even though it was a lost cause.

“Yes, well,” Diana flicked her manicured hands in the air, heavy bracelets jangling on her wrists, “this is not the point. I’m expecting you to pay attention when I’m talking, Liza. That is what we’re paying you to do. Now, would you please tell us how many submissions we’ve received this month?”

Liza nodded and nervously looked through her notebook. “Of course, let me just…” She flipped through the pages, her eyes scanning the words but not absorbing the information. Her nose had started tingling, an itch that felt like the light stroke of a goose feather deep within her sinuses. She wiggled her nose, trying to keep a brewing sneeze at bay. All eyes were on her still; this was not the moment to…

“Hh—Ihh’tsshh” Liza turned to her right in time, covering her nose and mouth with her elbow. “Excuse me, I… Ihh’TSSHH!” She registered the few bless you’s her colleagues mumbled, nodding her thanks as she straightened up. Liza knew her face was bright red. She could feel the flush burning her cheeks.

She cleared her throat and squeaked a nervous laugh. “Sorry about that!”

Diana rolled her eyes. “Are we ever going to get those numbers, or do we need to send a request through Snapbook, Liza?”

“Snapchat,” muttered Kelsey.

Liza sniffled. “No, no need, I’ve got them right here.” She paged through the notebook and finally found what she needed. “We’ve gotten less than usual but I haven’t had a chance to log all the submissions this week yet.” She lifted her eyes to meet Diana’s annoyed stare. “With the two ad campaigns and the issues with One Day We’ll Be, I didn’t…”

“Just get it done by tomorrow morning,” Diana cut her off with a steely smile.

For the rest of the meeting, Liza focused her attention on Diana and took overly detailed notes, hoping to redeem herself for her misstep. She wasn’t the kind of woman to take her obligations lightly, and she seldom had moments of distraction like this. Truth be told, she wasn’t feeling the best. She’d woken up exhausted in spite of a full night's sleep, and her head throbbed just a smidge behind her eyes. She could tell that she was coming down with something, but hopefully she’d be able to make it to the weekend before it hit her full force.

When the meeting ended and everyone filed out of the room, Liza walked passed Charles on her way to the door.

“Liza?” His voice sent a shiver down Liza’s spine.

She turned around, hugging her notebook to her chest. “Yes?”

“Everything alright?” His eyes locked with hers in the way they always did. Charles had the type of gaze that seemed able to search one’s soul for the answers to his questions. It was in the way he focused all his attention on the person he was talking to, creating a bubble around them that separated them from the rest of the world.

Liza nodded. She mustered an overenthusiastic “yep!” before turning around and leaving the room.

If there was ever a man that made her feel 26 instead of 40, it was Charles Brooks.

---

Liza pushed the heavy door of her office building, spilling out into New York’s freezing autumn air. She followed a crowd of office workers making their way out for lunch, a chill running through her skin. In the scuffle, someone bumped into her and knocked her purse down, spilling some of its content on the pavement.

“Excuse you…” Liza mumbled, crouching down to retrieve her belongings. She suddenly missed Brooklyn and its quieter streets, friendlier neighbors and actual trees. Time Square was nice for a night out on the town or if you were visiting the city for a few days, but working in the district wasn’t always a thrill. However, she wasn’t here for the New York experience—she was here for the job. Books were her absolute passion, and if getting a career in publishing meant that she’d have to partake in a few elbow brawls on the streets to get it, she was ready to fight.

“Liza.”

Liza looked up, her lipstick in hand, balancing on her heels in a crouched position. She recognized the tie before she even saw his face. Navy silk, polka dotted. Once her eyes reached Charles’s face, Liza was already smiling. “Hey!”

“Here, let me help.” He crouched down to her level, helping her corral her stuff. Liza quickly shoved the used tissues in her pockets, hoping Charles hadn’t noticed them. Gross.

“There’s ‘rush hour,’ and then there’s ‘lunch hour,’” Liza said with a scoff. “I guess even walking is a hazard here.”

Charles smiled, picking up the novel she was currently reading that now laid on the sidewalk. “Murakami,” he said approvingly. “This one isn’t a favorite of the critics. What do you think of it so far?”

Liza’s eyes lit up instantly. “I know the pacing is a bit slow and the story can be repetitive, but there’s something about Murakami’s prose that keeps me coming back. It’s like taking a long, warm bath in the middle of winter, but on the moon. He always manages to create this sense of familiarity and warmth in an unfamiliar world and—“ Liza caught herself babbling away, the words tumbling out at high speeds. “Sorry, you must have somewhere to be! Don’t let me hold you back.”

Charles chuckled, his eyes wrinkling at the corner. His laughed matched his well-mannered behavior, a controlled but sexy huff with just enough sincerity to send sparkles through Liza’s stomach. He stood up, then offered his hand to help Liza up. She took it, noticing the warmth of it against her freezing hand.

The wind picked up, slipping through Liza’s open coat. She shivered, adjusting her purse on her shoulder and crossing her arms over her chest. Charles’s smile faltered. “You should bundle up, it’s getting colder every day.” He glanced back towards the street. “My taxi is here. Why don’t you share it with me. We can drop you off wherever you need to go.”

“Oh no, thank you, but I could use the walk. The cold will help wake me up.” She smiled. “Better than caffeine!” It wasn’t exactly a lie. She did need to wake up, but she wasn’t particularly happy to be in the cold right now. Her entire body seemed to revolt against the temperature change. However, her nose had started to run and tickle, and she did not want to blow it in front of Charles in the back of a taxi. The sheer idea of it was mortifying.

“You sure?” Charles asked, raising an eyebrow. She was doing a poor job of keeping her body from shaking.

“Yep! I just need to start walking to warm up.” She gave him a dismissive wave. “I’ll be fine.”

“Alright then.” Charles nodded. “Take care of yourself.”

Liza watched him walk to his taxi, his trench coat and gray scarf flapping in the wind. A sudden, sharp prickle caused her to gasp and pitch her head forward into her hands. “Hh—Iiih’TSSHH!” She fished around her purse for a new tissue and dabbed at her nose, groaning. The virus had definitely taken hold.

At least Charles hadn’t been there to witness it.

---

Liza moved to the back of the elevator, balancing a tray of drinks and a paper bag containing her lunch. She’d picked up Diana’s green juice and green smoothie, as requested. “Everyone is spreading their disgusting little germs everywhere in this office,” Diana had told Liza with a repulsed moue. “I don’t have time to get sick. Get me my green juices, double shots.” Ironic, since Liza herself was sick, although Diana didn’t know yet. And Liza intended on keeping it that way. She didn’t want to be sent home and look like an unreliable assistant who keeled over at the first sign of a sniffle. She’d been through much worse than this. Back in the days, she’d be taking care of the kid, cleaning the house, making dinner, setting up doctor appointments and taking care of her sick husband—now ex-husband—while battling her own raging fever.

Liza looked at the third drink in the cup tray—her own. She would have preferred a simple cup of chamomile tea with honey, the remedy she could always count on when sick, but the line at the juice bar had been so long that she’d run out of time. The cashier had recommended a "Detox Elixir" for her cold. Apple cider vinegar, ginger, lemon and cayenne pepper. The dirty yellow muddied drink didn’t look (or smell) appetizing whatsoever. Liza hoped that the sandwich she’d also picked up would help wash the drink down, but she wasn’t holding her breath. She’d watched the employee make it. It was 90% alfalfa sprouts, 5% avocado and 5% dry toasted bread made entirely of nuts. Good thing she wasn’t too hungry anyway.

Walking in the cold had made Liza’s nose even more runny, but she couldn’t wipe it since both of her hands were occupied. She sniffled quietly, trying to ignore people glancing at her when she did so. Every time the elevator stopped at a floor, people squeezed towards the back, forcing Liza into the wall. It was starting to get hot and uncomfortable in there.

And of course, that was when a tickle decided to blossom. Liza scrunched up her nose, hiding behind the to-go cups, but it didn’t even slow down the progression of the itch. It spread all the way down to the tip of her nose, until she could no longer fight it. She promptly shoved the paper bag in her mouth to free her hand and fetch a tissue, but there was no time. With her hand stuck in her purse and her other hand holding the drinks, she bit down hard on the paper bag and turned towards the wall, stifling her sneeze as much as possible.

“Hh—Ihh’Hnxch!... Hh’Hnxch!”

A few people blessed her, and the guy standing next to her chuckled when he saw her struggling with the bag in her mouth. “Cold season, uh?” he said with a compassionate tone. Meanwhile, there was an evident shift in the crowd as people tried to distance themselves from Liza.

Liza managed to get a tissue and wipe her nose, then grabbed the bag out of her mouth. “You’d think I have Ebola,” she mumbled to the man, nodding towards people now a few steps away from her. Some of them turned to glare at her. Oops.

When the elevator finally dinged on her floor, Liza made her way out, welcoming open spaces, fresh air and a little breeze on her sweaty skin. She dropped off her coat at her desk, checking to see if Diana was busy. The elegant woman sat in her glass office, concentrating on her computer monitor. She hadn’t yet noticed Liza.

Liza quickly grabbed a compact mirror from her purse to see how bad she looked. Her nose was bright red and her cheeks were flushed, but she could blame it on the cold wind. She sniffled a bit, testing her sinuses. No sneezes were brewing. It was now or never.

She knocked on the door frame. “I’ve got your juices right here,” Liza said, placing the cups on Diana’s desk.

“About time,” Diana replied without looking up. “I can almost feel the germs floating all around me.” She grabbed the green smoothie and took a sip. Liza started backing up to take her leave, but Diana added: “I need you to find a space for the launch party of Bright & Wonderful. I’m thinking something young and bright, something…” She wriggled her fingers in the air, looking for another adjective.

“Wonderful?” proposed Liza with a smirk.

Diana raised an eyebrow. “That’s right. Very funny. Just reserve something 'hip.' I’m sure you can do that.”

Liza nodded emphatically, feeling the relentless tickle wake up again in her increasingly congested sinuses. Eager to get out before a sneeze manifested, she started walking out, but Diana interrupted her once again.

“I also need you to contact Mrs. McLure and find out if they’re done drawing the contract. We haven’t heard back from them and we need to lock down the budget for the campaign as soon as possible.”

Liza nodded again, her eyes watering.

“This is top priority, Liza.” Diana glanced at her. “Got it?”

“Mmhmm!”

Diana held Liza’s gaze for a moment, cocking her head. “Is something wrong?”

“No, n-nothing is wrong.” Liza could feel her breath itching, her face scrunching slightly. She had to leave. Now. “Oh, umm…” she gestured towards her desk. “I t—think the phooo…eh… phone is ringing.”

She rushed out, feeling Diana’s eyes on her as she ran straight to the restroom. Once she was safely inside, she grabbed some toilet paper from the roll and let the sneezes overcome her. “Ehh… Hh—Iiih’TSSHH… Hh—Ih’tsshhew… Ahh…Hhh! Hh—Iihh’TSSHH!” Tears were streaming down her face from holding the sneezes back for so long. She blew her nose and washed her hands, sighing.

The door whipped open. “You look like hell,” said Kelsey, stopping next to Liza in front of the mirror to reapply lipstick. “Rough night?”

Liza wiped some of the mascara that had run under her eyes. “I think I’m coming down with a cold.”

Kelsey’s eyes widened. “Oh no, you can’t let Diana know! She’s such a germophobe. You won’t hear the end of it.”

“How am I supposed to hide this from her?” Liza pointed at her face. “I work three feet from her. She’s always calling me in her office. I can’t run to the bathroom every time I have to sneeze or cough.” Although she was seriously considering it.

“I got you fam,” Kelsey said with a conniving smile, slipping her lipstick back in her purse and leaving the restroom.

“Wait!” Liza cried, following her. “Fam?” she whispered to herself, wondering what the hell that even meant. Every day a new slang or app or “meme” popped up. Keeping up with it was beyond overwhelming at times.

Kelsey walked straight to Diana’s office and popped her head in. “Hey, is it OK if I borrow Liza for a while? I need help with invitations.”

Diana waved her hand at her without looking up. “Sure.”

Kelsey turned and gave two thumbs up to Liza. “Follow me!” They both walked to Kelsey’s office further down the corridor. Two large boxes sat open in the middle of the room. “I was going to have the intern do this, but she’s busy with something else.”

Liza looked at Kelsey, dumbfounded. “Wait, you actually need my help? I thought this was a ploy to get me away from Diana’s germophobia?”

Kelsey put a hand on Liza’s shoulder. “Come on Liza. All you have to do is stuff an invitation and a bookmark in each envelope. It’ll be relaxing! Please? Pretty, pretty please?”

Liza sighed. “Fine. But you’ll catch my cold if I hang out here all afternoon. I’ll bring these in a conference room somewhere.” Liza bent down to grab a box, but Kelsey stopped her.

“Don’t be silly. I’ll be fine. Just take the couch over there. Relax.” She walked to her desk and grabbed a box of Dayquil from her drawer. “Here, help yourself.”

Liza popped two of the orange pills out of the packet. “If I had known you were the drug pusher in the office, I’d have come to you sooner.”

Kelsey laughed. “You bet. This is the good stuff, too. The one you need an ID for.”

“Impressive!” Liza swallowed the pills, then sat on the couch, assessing the task.

“By the way, we’re going to this new bar that opened up in Chelsea. You should come! All the food they serve comes in edible plates, and you eat with edible cutlery. Sounds terrible, but Lauren really wants to check it out.”

Liza scoffed and pointed at her nose. “With this? No thanks.”

Kelsey rolled her eyes. “It’s just a cold, Liza.” She leaned on her desk. “You’ll be fine. Nothing a little alcohol can’t fix,” she added with a conspiring smile.

Liza tried to remember a time in her twenties when she’d gone out with a cold, but couldn’t. Truth be told, she’d always been a bit of a baby when it came to illnesses, at least before she had a kid. She always favored lying on her couch with a heavy blanket and tea. It was a great opportunity to rest and let the world run without her for a few days. Cozy up in the quiet corners of life for a bit.

“Thank you, but I really—“ a tickle interrupted her. She lifted a finger, her eyes fluttering. Kelsey was already on it, handing her a box of tissues. Liza grabbed one and muffled her sneezes in it. “Hh… Iihh'mpphhff! Eh'mppff!”

“Bless you!”

“Thanks. I really wish I could come out tonight, but I’m going to have to stay late and work on the submission logs anyway.”

“Oooh that’s right. Diana was not happy about it this morning. Do you need help?”

“That’s so sweet of you, but no. You should go out. Enjoy eating… dinnerware. Or whatever.”

Kelsey grimaced. “Hopefully it tastes better than Diana’s green juice.”

Liza’s eyes brightened, remembering her sandwich and apple cider vinegar juice that she’d left on her desk. “Actually, I’ve got the perfect juice for you to try if you want to prepare your palate…”

Later, after everyone had gone—including Diana—, Liza went back to her desk to work on the submissions. She’d been working in the darkened office for a few hours, thankful for the quiet, but wishing she could be home in bed. Her cold had progressively worsened. Her throat felt like sandpaper and she’d started coughing a little to clear the irritation. Her eyes were burning the way they do when a fever is creeping up. She’d put on her coat to keep the chills at bay, but her bones still felt cold in spite of the warmth of her skin.

And her nose... The tickle had taken up permanent residence deep within her sinuses. She was constantly sneezing and blowing her nose, reducing her to a proverbial mess. Her bin was overflowing with used tissues.

“Liza?”

Liza froze, her heart stopping for a second. She turned around to see none other than Charles walking down the hallway from his office.

“Charles! You’re still here?”

He chuckled, stopping next to her desk. “So are you. I thought I heard something. I didn’t know I wasn’t alone. Working late?”

“You gotta do what you gotta do,” Liza said, or rather croaked. She plastered a smile on her face and subtly cleared her throat.

“Are you feeling alright? You look a little pale.” He examined her, a look of concern in his kind eyes. Liza almost melted.

“Yep, I’m great. Just a bit tired, you know.” With her foot, she pushed the bin overflowing with tissues underneath her desk, away from Charles's view. “Heading out?” She sniffed. A sneeze was definitely incoming. Of course. She slowed her breathing, praying for it to go away.

“Not yet, I still have—“ Charles stopped in the middle of his sentence, looking curiously at Liza as the woman scrunched up her nose.

“I’m so—sorry— Ehh… Iihh’TSSHH.”

“Bless you.”

“Hh’TSSHHHeew!”

“Bless you again.” Charles produced a white handkerchief from the inner pocket of his jacket and offered it to Liza. “Are you sure you’re feeling OK?”

Liza accepted the handkerchief. “Thank you. It’s just…” she shrugged. “Allergies, you know?”

“Hmm. Alright, I’ll let you get back to it, but don’t stay too late.”

“Right back at ya!” As soon as she said it, Liza kicked herself internally. Why did she always sound so lame when Charles was around? He gave her a small wave and walked back to his office.

Liza groaned and let her head fall on her keyboard the minute he was out of sight.

“Why me,” she whined.

---

Another hour later, after many stifled, exhausted sneezes and careful wiping of her nose, afraid to make any noise, Liza’s head rested in her hand, leaning over her desk. Her eyes felt heavy, her nose on fire. Her progress had slowed considerably, fatigue taking over her cold-ridden body. She still had quite a few submissions to process, but didn’t know if she could pull through. She considered getting up to get coffee when suddenly, a steaming cup of tea appeared next to her.

She jumped, finding Charles standing over her.

“Ready to admit you’re under the weather?” he asked with a smirk.

Liza’s nose scrunched up, and she buried her face in the handkerchief. “Hh—Ihh’TSSHH”

“Bless you. I’ll take that as a yes,” he said. “You should get some rest.”

“I’m almost done,” Liza lied. “Thank you though. What is it?” She pointed at the mug.

“Oh, it’s just chamomile tea with a bit of honey. It always works for me when my throat is bothering me.”

Liza smiled. “That sounds perfect.” She took a sip, but her nose protested as soon as the steam hit her sensitive nostrils. “Hh… Hhh! Ihh’TSSHH! Ehh—TSSHhhhew!”

Charles frowned. “Bless you, Liza. You’re sounding worse and worse. I really think you should go home.” He looked at her coat, as if just noticing that she was wearing it indoors. “Do you feel feverish?”

“Oh no, it’s not that bad, I just—“

Charles didn’t wait for her to finish and placed his hand on her forehead. His palm felt cool and protective, tender. Liza closed her eyes briefly, his touch shooting a delicious electric buzz through her body.

“You're definitely running a fever,” he murmured. “Come on, I’m sending you home.” He took out his phone and tapped away. “I’m calling you an Uber. And that’s an order, by the way.” He said it with a hint of humor and tenderness, his voice as calm and poised as always. Liza just nodded, unable to say anything after his forehead feel.

She gathered her belongings and let Charles help her up. “Wait!” Liza’s head cleared up, and she remembered Diana’s request. “I have to finish the submissions by—Ehh… Ihh’TSShhh” Charles tightened his grip on her shoulders as Liza pitched forward with the sneeze.

“Bless you,” he said, frowning again, as if worried she would collapse from exhaustion. “I’ll deal with Diana tomorrow morning. Your only job right now is to get into bed and stay there as long as you need. Alright?”

Liza nodded. They made their way down to the lobby of the building.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Charles took off the scarf he’d worn at lunch, slung over his shoulder. “I noticed you weren’t wearing a scarf earlier today and thought you could use it to keep warm.” He slid it around Liza’s neck a few times, covering her bare skin. “There. That’s better.” He then pushed open the door and held it for her.

The cold air felt like an assault on Liza's feverish body, but she didn't care. Even through her congestion, she could smell Charles’s scarf around her neck. A mix of winter pines, soap and worn books. Charles opened the Uber's door, holding Liza's hand as she slid in.

“Thank you, Charles." Liza said from her seat, looking up at him. He glowed under the street light. "I really appreciate your kindness.”

“Of course, Liza.” Charles locked eyes with her, dimming out the rest of the world around them. “I hope you feel better soon.”

“Thank you.”

Charles wished her good night and close the door. As the car drove off, Liza closed her eyes.

She knew the dreams to come would be the best fevered dreams she'd ever had.

THE END

[thebiggestfan1]

Are you in town? - Matthew Tkachuk (part 1)

part two here

part three here

word count: 1860 words

TW: language, angst (?)

let me know if you want part two, I’m somehow still not sure

...

It was so hot that day. The movers were already gone, the place feeling empty without all the furniture. In a few hours, you'd be long gone, flying far away from Chesterfield.

Some small part of you felt sorry for selling your parents' house - the house you spent your whole childhood living in. But they moved out a few years ago and told you many times they didn't mind at all selling it.

Wiping the sweat off of your eyebrows you made your way through the blooming garden, trying to memorize every little detail. You remembered climbing this tree, you remembered the hole in the fence you made so the neighbour's dog could come play with you, you remembered the time capsule you and Matt buried here when you were fifteen.

Until now, you completely forgot about that. Even though you two didn't talk after he got drafted, it'd be a good idea to meet again since you might never see him again. You might be moving to Calgary but that city was so big it'd be a miracle to meet Matthew somewhere.

So you scrolled through your phone, praying he didn't change his number after all those years as you dialed it.

The phone rang twice before someone picked it up.

"Yes?"

Matthew's voice was so different since the last time you talked.

"Hey Matt, this is Y/N, I'm moving out today and I thought we could dig up the time capsule we buried at my place as kids before I leave. Are you in town?" It was off-season so you might get lucky.

"You are moving out already? But yeah, I can meet you in an hour if you have the time."

"Yes, I'll still be here, don't worry."

"Okay..." There was a moment of awkward silence, neither of you knew how to break it. Was it a bad idea? Of course you wouldn't be as good friends as you once were. But you didn't know it would be this... weird. He didn't say goodbye back when he left to Calgary and didn't answer to any of your calls or messages. What were you thinking? That he wanted to see you?

"So, where are you moving to?" Matt finally continued, making the conversation more bareable.

"Calgary, they offered me an amazing job there."

"Really? I've been there for a few years."

"I heard." Not from you, was what you didn't say. It seemed like he'd heard it nonetheless.

Silence. You hated how distant you've grown - once, a long time ago, you were best friends. You went together to kindergarden and since then you've been the best of best friends. But even after all you went through, you didn't know what to say.

"Nevermind, I have to get going. I'll be at your place at three, okay?"

"Okay. I'll meet you there."

As you hung up, sadness enveloped you. Maybe you shouldn't have called. Maybe it'd be better to never meet Matt again, to remember only the good old times.

But he might be already on his way and you wanted to say a proper goodbye before going far, far away.

You loved him once, you recalled. It broke your heart when he left without looking back.

It irritated you that you couldn't do the same as easily.

...

"Y/N?" a now familiar voice called, the sound of closing car doors echoing through the silent street.

Matt looked same as he did four years ago and still totally different. It was like staring at a stranger you could swear you've already seen before. The curly, those pretty grey-blue eyes and the crooked smile you remembered and thought about too often. He got taller and more mascular over the time he played hockey professionally.

"Hey," you said nervously, tucking your slightly trembling hands into the pockets of your shorts.

Again, that uncomfortable silence took place.

"How long is it?" Since you've last seen each other. Since he'd ignored your calls and messages. Since he'd left you crying as he left this town - as he left you.

"Five years," you said.

Regret flashed in those pretty eyes as he took you in. Did you look to him the same as you did the last time he saw you?

"I'm sorry I didn't call." That was it? After five fucking years of silence, this was his apology for everything. This was a mistake. You didn't think it through when you called him today. Just now you started remembering all the things he's done to you.

"That doesn't make it hurt less, does it?" You whipped around, going to the line of fruit trees where you left the two shovels you borrowed from the neighbour.

Matt's hand slightly gripped your elbow, stopping you in your tracks.

"I know that I made a bunch of wrong decisions before I left."

"I've been trying for 6 months to reach you before giving up completely. And you? You've been living the best version of your life anyone could ever imagine."

"That's not true and you know it." Matthew said and you wanted to leave right then, forget this stupid meeting.

"I do not." you hissed, trying to calm down your rising temper.

Matt sighed, not wanting to argue over this. So he made his way to the tree line, picked one shovel from the ground and started digging where he remembered the time capsule was.

You didn't help him dig it up. You were too lost in memories, clinging to the past as you thought of younger version of Matt.

The clang of metal on metal attracted your attention back to him. He grunted as he pulled up the metal box and laid it on the grass.

You ducked low next to him, dusting off the dirt of the box. It was an old, weirdly dented thing.  Your eyes laid on the lock and you nearly sighed in annoyance just when Matt grabbed at his necklace, the key dangling from it. When you two buried the capsule, each of you got a key made for it. You had yours somewhere in the boxes that had already been shipped to your new apartment and Matt's... he didn't forget. He kept it through the years, guarding it and not losing it as you expected.

You didn't say anything, just patiently waited for him to open the box.

There was a letter inside, along with a bunch of things you thought of as long forgotten. Your bracelets of friendship, the colors faded already; a puck with which you and Matthew played your first hockey game together when you were six; so many polaroid photos with your faces on them; USB with a playlist you two always danced to.

Your eyes watered - how were you supposed to say goodbye to all of this?

Silently, you looked over all of the photos - you and Matt in the rink with small hockey sticks and skates, you and Matt sticking out your tongues colored blue with slushies, you and Matt, you and Matt, you and Matt...

Then Matthew's hand found yours, your fingers automatically intertwining with his. You started crying, first silently but then the sobs shook with your whole body.

"Come here," he murmured, hugging you. His body was so soft and warm, as if begging you to lean into his touch.

"How- how could you leave this all behind?" you mumbled between the sobs.

"It's not leaving if you don't say goodbye." Matt said, his fingers playing with yours.

"Then you are a fucking coward, Matthew."

Silence. He didn't argue with you on that, so you must have been right.

You stopped crying after a while, checking your watch while wiping your nose.

Shit. It was so late already - you had to call an uber to get you to the airport in the next hour or you'd be super late.

"I'll have to go," you said quietly, but Matt interrupted you.

"You are right," he tucked on the edge of his shirt, clearly nervous. He was nervous. "I was a coward. I thought that if I didn't say goodbye to you as I left, it'd hurt less. I was wrong and I was a fucking coward for not picking up your calls or replying to your messages because it would make it so real - that I was leaving and probably never coming back. But I want to make it all right again, I want to be a part of your life - if you will let me."

You thought about his offer and still, you couldn't answer. You weren't sure about letting him into your heart just for him to storm out again without a goodbye, leaving you behind, broken.

"Can I at least take you to the airport?" To that, you nodded, picking up the time capsule, putting all the items back in. Then you gave back the lent shovels to your neighbour and with a last glance at your house, you got into Matt's car.

...

On the way to the airport Matt played the playlist from the USB that was in the time capsule and the nostalgy hit you hard.

You remembered the lyrics, the melody; you remembered everything.

The drive was too short and you started panicking as the engine stopped.

Matthew helped you with your suitcase and went inside with you. The two of you stopped at the first gate.

"Here," he said, giving you a piece of paper. "It's my adress. Hopefully, you won't live so far away, so we could meet there if you wanted to."

You tucked it in your pocket without a word.

"Also, take this. I wrote it in ninth grade so don't think much of it. But I want you to read it, Y/N."

It was the letter from the time capsule, with your name on the blank envelope.

"I will." you promised.

The silence that followed wasn't awkward this time.

"I'll let you know my decision about what you said earlier. I just... I need some time."

Matt noded, giving you the space you so desperately needed.

"So, until we meet again - goodbye, Y/N."

"Goodbye, Matt."

...

The plane took off and you finally had the time to read the letter he gave you.

You immediately recognised his scrambled handwriting and you smiled at how messy it was before you started reading.

Dear Y/N,

I'm writing this in case I leave. Dad has been telling me for some time already that if I'll get drafted, I'll have to leave. He also said that if I'll be smart, I will never look back at my past.

I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future.

He said I'll meet a lot of girls but I know that none of them is going to be like you.

So, I promise you, I will never say goodbye to you.

I love you,

Matt

With trembling fingers, you pulled out your phone, the tears already staining the screen.

That's why he never said goodbye. Because of this stupid letter and his stupid promise.

The phone rang once before he picked it up.

"Y/N? What is it?"

A ragged breath escaped you and you laughed and cried at the same time.

"I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future."

"Oh, that was cheesy, wasn't it-"

"No, you dumbass. That's my answer."

[queensoybean0724]

Succession Chapter 20 (Karl Heisenberg/female reader) Resident Evil Village fanfic

Title: Succession Chapter 20

Characters: Karl Heisenberg, female reader, the Duke

Rating: PG-13

Summary: you discover a long lost relative has died and made you his sole beneficiary.  While flying to collect your inheritance, you crash in a village in Romania.

Author’s Note: I do not own the characters from Resident Evil Village.  This is a work of fiction.  Anything remotely similar to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter 20

Heisenberg pulled a clean undershirt from the tall, five-drawer chest next to the bed.  You lay naked, your head in your hand and your elbow on the pillow.  The sheets were pulled up over your breasts as you watched him put on his clothes.  Despite lots of begging and pouting from you, Heisenberg had to attend to his metal army and continue his work of vengeance on Mother Miranda.

As much as you loved watching him remove his clothing, there was something equally arousing watching him put on his clothing.  He stepped into his underwear and khaki pants, grabbing his belt and sliding it through the pant loops.  He pulled the undershirt over his head and buttoned up the khaki shirt, tucking them both into his pants.  The three items he always kept around his neck were next, followed by his hat.  His sunglasses followed and lastly, his long overcoat.  The ensemble was complete.

Heisenberg sat next to you on the edge of the bed, putting on his socks and boots.  “I need to continue my work down in the lab, but I need supplies from the Duke.  He’ll be here in a few hours.  But time is of the essence and what I have to accomplish will take all day,” Heisenberg said.  The last few days were less working in his factory and more fucking your brains out.  He wasn’t complaining in the least, but he knew that lots of work still needed to be done and he wasn’t forgetting the inevitable clash between him and Miranda.  The feeling in his gut was growing; the battle needed to be fought and he needed to vanquish her.

“Well, why don’t you give me a list and I can get everything from the Duke,” you offered as you sat up in bed, “and while I’m there, I would like to see if he can get any toiletries and other items I’m running low on…”

Heisenberg was quiet for a moment as he tied his boots.  You could see him mulling over things in his head...whether or not he should let you go on this little excursion.  Everything he needed were things that he had bought several times over, so he knew the Duke would know exactly what was on the list.  But the worry of you running away was always in the back of his mind.  He felt certain that with everything that had happened between you and him and the confession of love on both sides that you wouldn’t want to leave even if the opportunity presented itself.  Heisenberg knew that you would get what was needed and return to the factory.  But there was also the possibility of Mother Miranda snatching you the moment his back was turned.  He would never forgive himself if she got her hooks into you and used you for one of her sick, delusional experiments in order to get Eva back.

In the end, he did trust you and he wanted to show you that trust.

“Okay, I’ll give you a list,” Heisenberg said, “just give it to the Duke and he’ll know exactly what I need.  But the moment you are finished, march right back to the factory.  Close and lock the doors and hit the red button to the right.  It will signal an alarm and let me know that you are safe…”

“I promise,��� you said.

Heisenberg smiled and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.  You lifted your hands to his face, moaning softly.  The sheets fell into your lap, showing your tits to Heisenberg.  A soft giggle lodged in your throat as he opened his eyes and looked down.  He growled softly and broke the kiss.

“Such a cock tease,” he muttered playfully.

You chuckled as Heisenberg went to the table, grabbed a piece of paper,  and wrote his list of supplies.

*

The sliding double doors were heavy and it took a lot of your strength to push them open one by one.  The biting cold air rushed through the doors and nearly took your breath away.  It was cloudy and chilly.  The wind gusted in the distance.  You hadn’t been here that long, but long enough that you could tell snow wasn’t too far off.  Zipping your oversized jacket and making sure your wool gloves were on your hands, you exited the factory and made your way to the gate.

The Duke was seated in the back of his carriage and waiting as always.  You smiled and waved as you got closer to him.  Heisenberg had opened the gates earlier before making his way down into the depths of his factory.

“Well, good morning, Y/N,” the Duke greeted, a smile on his face, “is it just you today?  Is Lord Heisenberg not going to grace me with his presence?”

You shook your head, digging in your pants pocket for the list.  “Not today.  He’s busy and I told him I could get everything.”

“That’s fine with me...gives us some time to get to know one another…” he smiled.  You stood on your tiptoes and handed the Duke the list.  “Oh yes,” he said, looking over the items, “these are supplies that Lord Heisenberg is always in need of.  I know them all very well.”

The Duke handed you a burlap sack and showed you all of the things that Heisenberg needed.  One by one, you placed the items in the bag.  You also looked around at things that might catch your eye.  Thankfully, the Duke had toiletries and supplies that you needed.  You placed them in the sack along with the rest.

“Duke,” you began, “I also wanted to see if you could help me with something.  I wanted to do something nice for Karl.  Do you have anything that he likes that he doesn’t always purchase?  Maybe ingredients for a meal that he likes to splurge on from time to time?”

The Duke thought for a moment.  “I do happen to know that Tochitura de Pui is one of his favorite dishes!  I can’t remember the last time he bought ingredients for that meal.  Here…” he handed you a rectangular piece of paper with ingredients and directions for preparation.  The Duke went through the recipe and gave you all the products needed, giving you instructions on how to prepare it.  “Also…” he added, “another thing he doesn’t splurge on often is Asbach Uralt!  It’s a German brandy that his father and grandfather loved.  Lord Heisenberg buys a bottle of this a few times a year.  This would be a lovely surprise for him...and coming from you, it would make his day!”

He handed you the bottle of the alcohol and you inspected the writing.  It was in German, of course, but it filled you with excitement.  Heisenberg had cooked for you ever since he brought you to the factory.  Aside from the occasional meals you fixed yourself when he was off working, it was always him cooking.  You wanted to do this….to cater to him and make him happy with something he loved and would never see coming.

“Thank you so much for everything, Duke,” you said as you reached into your pockets, “I have some American currency, I hope you can use it or exchange it…”

“Not necessary,” he said, putting up his hand to stop you.

“Oh, please, take it,” you insisted, “you let me have that bracelet that I gifted to Salvatore.  I insist you take this!”

“Y/N,” he began, “I am more than happy to help you free of charge.  I do feel sorrow for the circumstances that brought you here.  I can’t imagine how traumatic a plane crash is.  But in the few times I have seen you here with Lord Heisenberg, I can sense a difference in him.  For years, he has been unhappy.  I assume he has told you what happened to him…”

You nodded your head.

“...then you know the horrors he has seen as a young child and growing up under the rule of Mother Miranda.  It has hardened his mind and his heart.  But since you have been here, I’ve noticed that icy exterior he has put up has slowly begun to melt.  You are a kind woman, Y/N, and you two are good for each other.  Consider these supplies as payment from me…”

You had to swallow the lump that formed in your throat.  The kindness and generosity he has shown you had not gone unnoticed.  Between him, Heisenberg, and Moreau, you have been lucky enough to see the small ounce of good this village had to offer.

“Thank you so much, Duke,” you said, “and if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know…”

The Duke smiled.  “Of course, I will.  Is there anything else you might need from me?”

“I think that’s it,” you smiled, holding the bottle of Asbach Uralt in one hand and pulling the hefty sack over your shoulder, “I’ll see you later!  Goodbye!”

“Take care,” he said as you closed the gate behind you.  He watched you walk up the path to the factory, making sure you were okay.  Once inside, you gently placed the sack and the bottle on the ground and closed the sliding double doors, locking them securely.  Lastly, you pressed the red button, alerting Heisenberg that you were safe and sound.

Heisenberg was pouring liquid metal into the press, making a cog for a broken machine.  He smiled when he heard the alarm.