#yes yes I’m 24 I’m well into my 20s. listen.

[bookclubforghosts]

Vampire tramp stamp. Switchblade chest tat. Snake forearm tat. Devil and Angel ghosts on my shoulders. Stitched together heart…somewhere. Nose piercing. Helix piercing. Perhaps an industrial bar. He is going to be soooooo slutty.

[eardefenders]

Sherlock & Co - Mailbag Episode 1 Transcript

00:00-00:30 Intro Music

*Typing Sounds*

0:36 Sherlock: What are you doing?

0:37 John: I’m collating the questions from the fans. Ah-well, d’you know actually they might not be fans. They might just. *pause* I don’t, I don’t know, listen, but, uh, ah, you know not actually, you know-

0:48 Sherlock: -Like you?

0:49 John: What?

0:49 Sherlock: They might not actually like you.

0:51 John: Us. The show. Anything. What do you mean ‘not like me’? Why would they not like me?

0:57 Sherlock: Well…you can come on a little strong…sometimes, I suppose.

1:02 John: In what way?

1:03 Sherlock (voice slightly high): You’re just, rather, keen. (voice normal, reassuring even) Nothing wrong with that of course.

1:07 John (sarcastically): Oh, great, thanks.

1:09 Sherlock: That’s something people add after making a crude observation on another’s character.

1:14 John (warily): What is?

1:14 Sherlock: “Nothing wrong with that of course.”

1:17 John: So you just added it because you thought-

1:19 Sherlock: It would soften the blow.

1:20 John (sarcastic): Lovely. Very kind.

1:23 Sherlock (clearly missing the sarcasm): Quite alright.

1:24 John: Okaaay, we got some Q’s from the L’s, and now its time for us to provide the A’s. That’s, uh, that’s questions from the listeners and for us to provide the answers.

1:36 Sherlock: Yes, I cracked the code, Watson.

1:39 John: Right! So! Beau from California wants to know where they should go when they visit London.

1:44 Sherlock: Er, sorry, uh, I thought this was about crime?

1:47 John: Whaddya mean?

1:48 Sherlock: I thought there would be questions regarding criminal activity?

1:52 John (lightly sarcastic): Oh, right yeah, sorry. Um, there is one here from ‘PsychoMurderer69’ who wants to know if he should stab his next-door neighbor.

1:58 Sherlock (seriously): What’s the length of the blade he’d have access to?

2:00 John: Jesus Christ.

2:00 Sherlock: Does the neighbor show signs of possessing any self-defense skillsets?

2:04 John (interjecting over Sherlock): Alright, no, where should Beau visit in London, please?

2:09 Sherlock: Um, uh, St. Dunstan in the East. Little Venice. Spitalfields. Brick Lane. The Vaults! Neal’s Yard is rather charming as well, I suppose…pleasing colors on display.

2:20 John: Right, great. Colors. See, that wasn’t difficult, was it?

2:23 Sherlock: South Kensington Ice Rink.

2:25 John: Yeah, lovely. I- Sorry, where are you going?

2:26 *Sound of door opening.*

2:27 Sherlock: I just said.

2:27 *Audio Cut - Vaguely outside sounds.*

2:28 John (sounding like he’s struggling to balance): Heeey, folks its, woah, woah, Ja-ah,*sound of skate blades scraping deeply in ice* Jesus, aw, bloody hell, ahahaaah Christ. *sounds of the mic rubbing as he presumably falls down, a sharp intake of pained breath* Ahh.

2:35 Sherlock (sounding at ease): Get up, Watson.

2:36 John: Ah, oh yeah, thanks for the advice. Uh, um, hey folks-*under his breath*ah, God- Sherlock, can get *sounding unsteady on his feet* easily distracted when he’s not w-w-what’d’you call it. Uh. Totally onboard with something. So he wanted to *sounding unsteady again* go ice-ce skating. Uhum *clears throat*, uh there’s a-a rink. Temporary rink open in South Kensington right now so we’re skating- hey-oh, ooo-getting up some speed now. Oh here we go. Ha ha hah! God is this what Canadians feel like? Oy oy! *laughs proudly*

3:10 Sherlock: Very good, Watson. You’ve got the hang of it.

3:11 John: Hahah, yeah well I wouldn’t go that far, but I’m not smashing my ribs into the ice, uh, for the time being. So-woah! Shit!- *clears throat* Right! Another question!

3:21 Sherlock: Go for it.

3:22 John: “What are your favorite hobbies?”

3:24 Sherlock: *with relish* CRIME. Deductions. Observations! Intricate studies that focus my mind. Feeding my hyper fixations, which often stem from crime and the desire to understand it.

3:37 John: …Riiiight. Yeah, I think the listener Sherlo8 in Poland, uh, I think they meant more like, um, you know, I don’t know. Golf?

3:48 Sherlock: Golf? *chuckles* I don’t golf. I live in Baker Street.

3:52 John: No, I-I know, but, um. *deep breath* Right, okay. My hobby is-

3:58 Sherlock (interjects): Podcasting.

3:59 John: Well, no. Uh, that’s my job.

4:00 Sherlock (skeptically): Is it now?

4:01 John: My hobbies. Uh…so I like to play football. I like films and tv. Ummm I’m very partial to a board game. Uhhhh… Oh! Ok! So here’s a confession. I have the flight tracker app. I’m not saying I’m a, a plane spotter, but um… I like to, yeah, just check in with that. Y’know? See what’s overhead? Where it’s come from, where it’s going. Picture the kinda people that uh. *sigh* Oh I don’t know, going from swha-Rome to Mexico City, y’know? Th-th-the weary business men and women tucking into their inflight meals, families that have created a whole crate of memories that they’re going to talk about for decades.

4:42 John (dramatically): The lovesick Italian man flying out to see his Mexican sweetheart. His heart bursting with excitement and fear that the stewards who keep complaining about some bloke in Row G, c-

4:49 Sherlock (interjects): Trains.

4:50 John: Hm?

4:51 Sherlock: Trains. I like trains. And, dinosaurs.

4:56 John: Ok. Great! Well, haha! That’s wonderful! We did it, another answer to another question. See, I told you it’s bloody easy- *sound of an ice blade scraping the ice too hard/wrong, a loud hard thump, the mic is rubbing terribly against clothing, sound is muffled* Oh, God!

5:07 *Audio Cut-Vaguely café sounds*

5:09 John (pained): Ahhh *sucks in air through his teeth* Oh that stings. *sounds like he’s holding his face*

5:15 Sherlock: Yep, they’re loaning us their frozen peas.

5:18 John: Oh what, they’ve got frozen peas in this place? Why aren’t they fresh, meals are twenty quid?

5:21 Sherlock: Uh, do you want the frozen peas or not?

5:23 John: Yeah! Yes, please, give’em here. *sound of a bag of frozen peas being shuffled around, John’s voice is muffled* Oh, yeah. Oh hoho, that’s the stuff, baby. Oh yeah. Ahhhhhhhhh. 5:39 Sherlock: Just to confirm,

5:40 John: Uh hunh?

5:40 Sherlock: they are paying for this? People are…paying for this audio?

5:46 John: Yeah, mate. Oh! Ah God! Ooo! Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie, ouchie…

5:49 Sherlock: Understood. Well, people can be rather odd, can’t they? Nothing wrong with that of course.

5:55 John: Uh, d’you mind? I see- I actually know what you’re doing with that ‘nothing wrong with that’ lark. So, right! Next question, ‘How did Archie get his name?’ says May Van der Hayden in New Zealand. Ah, well mate, I didn’t have much say in the matter. *clicks tongue* Um, I bought him as a birthday present for…uhhhh. M-my ex-girlfriend. Um, e-e-ex…yeah, y’know she was. She was-she was the bi- big one. The one I l-lived with and planned t’m-my life. Around. Sort of thing. Um. *clicks tongue* B-bought him for her, she chose Archie. Um. I-I don’t know why? Ha. And then she chose my friend who had a Range Rover Sport. So, yeah, she left me and the dog. *clicks tongue* And I left the dog to help the Ukrainians. Now I’m back. *clicks tongue* Got a dog and a master detective. Uh, lucky me. *awkward chuckle*

6:55 Sherlock: I feel your answers should be more concise.

6:58 John: Yep, thank you for that input. May also asks, Sherlock, seeing as you have handled cases for other countries, have you ever handled any in New Zealand?

7:07 Sherlock: Yes.

7:08 John: Oh! Lip, lip. Now numb. Ah, ah. Can you expand on that please?

7:13 Sherlock: Yes, but you’d have to stop recording or redact it from the podcast.

7:17 John: Aw, what’d be the point of that?

7:19 *Audio Cut- Sounds like they’re on the tube now*

7:23 John: Question here from Chloe Davies in Canada. Hi, Chloe. Sherlock, your hugging machine, is it based on that of Temple Grandin?

7:31 Sherlock: Er, she sent me some early designs, yes. I needed to tweak its pressure loads to clench my shoulder blades.

7:40 John: That’s the way you like it, is it? Hugwise?

7:43 Sherlock: Yes. Any sensation below the diaphragm causes me to stress.

7:47 John: Good to know. Uh, Nick Licher or, er, Licker. Uh…let’s go with Nick Licher. He asks, “Why did Sherlock need your shoelaces?” Yeah, why did you need my shoelaces?

7:58 Sherlock: I was conducting a thorough cleansing of our garments following the proximity to duck poo we had undergone that day in the park. *sucks in air sharply* The shoes contain the most potentially harmful pathogens. I removed the shoelaces for deep cleaning.

8:11 John: Okay.

8:12 Sherlock: Okay? Is that it? For potentially saving you untold hours and days on the toilet?

8: 19 John: How so?

8:20 Sherlock: E.coli, Watson.

8:22 John: Yeah, but on my shoelaces? Mate, I wasn’t going to chew on them. Right, Adrien Kaiser from Minnesota. “John, if you miss an upload should we just assume you and Sherlock have been arrested or are dead?”

8:32 Sherlock: Yes. As assumptions go, those options would be some of the likeliest. Wouldn’t you agree Watson?

8:39 John: No.

8:40 Sherlock: Why not?

8:40 John: Well, I don’t know. Maybe my laptop breaks, maybe we don’t get an adventure that week, I’m ill, your ill, a long list of things that aren’t dead or arrested, Sherlock.

8:50 Sherlock: It was Adrien that said it, not me.

8:52 John: *heavy sigh* Arlo asks, as a Shakespeare fan-him, not me- he asks what my favorite play by him was. Uhhh, um, I love Romeo and Juliet. Bit of um, a sucker for romance, me. *awkward chuckle* Hamlet’s too long, should’ve streamlined that a little. I’m uh going to go Romeo and Juliet. Or Julius Ceasar. Good drama in that one, I think. Kind of can’t understand what they’re saying, but uh I hold my English teachers at school responsible for that one, I mean also why are we reading them? Yeah, they’re meant to be performed, come on. Uh, next question. Soma asks “what’s your favorite tv show?” Uh, I loved ‘Band of Brothers’. Um, but, of course, an ex soldier would say that wouldn’t he. Um, psh, yeah, ‘Band of Brothers’. Or, something light and millennial, like, um, I don’t know. Fraiser? Or, uh, Will and Grace?

9:46 John: Sherlock? Favorite tv show?

9:48 Sherlock: This is us.

9:48 John: Really? I never saw it.

9:49 Sherlock: No, Watson! This is us! Quick!

9:52 John: Oh, bollocks, Oh! The doors are closing! Ow!

9:53 *Audio cut-sounds of a tube station/outside*

9:54 John: Misha asks,

9:56 Sherlock: Mmhm?

9:57 John: “Do you have a sweet tooth?” Well, I can tell you, Misha, that yes, he bloody does! Sherlock?

10:02 Sherlock: Yes, I bloody do. *awkward chuckle, sharp intake of breath* Yet, my diet is highly unpredictable and more often then not tied to my mood

10:08 John: Yeah, I can vouch for that. One minute he’s slurping down some borscht on a whim. Next minute, he’s going ten straight days eating tomato penne pasta.

10:16 *sound of a building door opening*

10:19 *sound of the door closing, presumably they’re in the foyer of 221 Baker Street*

10:19 John: *sigh* Uhhh, just trying to find uh…

10:23 Sherlock: Yet more questions?

10:23 *sounds like they’re removing their coats*

10:25 John: Yep. Uh, ooo, questions, right, last one. Uh, “Doctor Watson, hope this question doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Do you use a cane for your leg injury? I use a cane myself due to joint pain from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. In fact, one of the canes was hand painted by a family in Ukraine during the war.” Well aw! *delighted chuckle* Aw that’s nice. Um, no I don’t use a cane. Uh, I had some surgery, and I was very kindly along with a few others flown out to Florida for some rehabilitation and then back to the UK for some hydrotherapy courtesy of the Ministry of Defense. Uh. Then they sacked me. So, heh, booooo. *chuckles* So, no. I’m actually cane free. But, uh, I have had moments. Especially climbing these bloody stairs *sounds of him stepping heavily up stairs* where I’ve wanted something like that.

11:15 Sherlock: Finished?

11:16 John (slightly out of breath): Finished.

11:17 *sound of a door opening, presumably 221B’s*

11:17 John: Right, say ‘Bye, Listeners’.

11:19 Sherlock: ‘Bye, Listeners’. You know, you do have a rather silly gait. *pause* Walking style. *sound of a door closing* The cane may have been needed. You do look weird when you stroll. Nothing wrong with that of course.

11:32 John (under his breath): For God’s sake.

11:33-12:03 *audio cut to end theme. It’s Mad Prodigy but a different part not used in the main show with a bit of piano.*

END

[fangsforiris]

Kanato Sakamaki HC’S

Word Count: 10,004 Included Topics: General, Looks, Hair, Body, Skincare, Makeup, Voice, Mentality, Family, Brides/Yui, Academics, Fashion, Magic & Bag.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [General]

🕯️ He has an uncanny interest in death and dead bodies. (Canon fact.)

🕯️ He likes watching Reiji bake. The way he so skillfully moves his fingers, and how he never questions his movements is fascinating.

🕯️ He listens to Melanie Martinez and Malice Mizer.

🕯️ He worked as Karlheinz’s secretary for a few years, starting when he was 13. He stopped when he was 16. 

🕯️ People in the Royal Court really liked him, and Karlheinz liked having a, in his words, ‘pretty thing’ next to him in every meeting. 

🕯️ Cordelia also worked as Karlheinz’s secretary when she first met him, before having an arranged marriage. She was a minor, while he was well into his 20’s. (Canon fact that he groomed her.)

🕯️ Karlheinz definitely forcibly feminizes Kanato. 

🕯️ As in, he definitely enjoys when he cross-dresses. Much to Kanato’s displeasure. 

🕯️→ It’s already established how horrible Karlheinz is, so I wouldn’t put it past him to do something like that. 

🕯️ Kanato sometimes uses his looks to his advantage, such as getting things for free since people assume he’s a girl. Some of the things people bought him for free: drinks, clothing, makeup, jewelry, food, whatever it may be. 

🕯️ Him acting like a deer in the headlights also helps get him out of trouble. 

🕯️ Call it pretty privilege. 

🕯️ Once he and Ayato were trespassing and when an officer came up to them, he used his charms to get them both out of trouble. 

🕯️→ “Oi! You two, hands where I can see them.” The officer blared his flashlight at the two siblings, their eyes squinting from the sudden blindness. Ayato groaned, putting up his hands, “Ugh, what is it?”

🕯️→ Kanato slowly put his hands down, looking at the officer with big doe eyes, batting his eyelids slowly, “Oh! I’m so sorry officer… you see me and my brother got lost! I happened to drop my ring while we were here… and… I couldn’t find it.”

🕯️→ The officer stared at Kanato, his severe demeanour softening as he was temporarily struck by the innocent charm that radiated from him. “Lost, huh?” he mumbled, his voice no longer harsh. “Well, you two ought to have taken greater caution. Trespassing is a serious offense.”

🕯️→ Kanato nodded earnestly, his act of innocence unwavering. “Yes, officer, we understand,” he replied softly, his voice laced with feigned sincerity. “We'll be more careful next time, I promise.”

🕯️→ Ayato rolled his eyes, but remained silent as the officer sighed, shaking his head. “Alright, just make sure you don’t come back here again,” he warned, before turning to leave. “And find that ring quickly. We don’t want anyone else getting into trouble over it.”

🕯️→ As the officer left, Kanato let out a sigh of relief. “That was close.” Ayato turned to face Kanato, a smirk playing on his lips. “Too close, also–”

🕯️→ “Not another word,” Kanato interrupted sharply, shooting Ayato a warning glance. Ayato chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. “Alright then,” he knew better than to push his luck with Kanato when he was in one of his moods.

🕯️ Kanato often wonders about the possibility of going missing. It’s a fantasization of his to see if anyone truly cared about him. He’d also want to know if he’d make it out alive. It’s one of those dark thoughts that come up every once in a while, more so when he’s doing the dishes. 

🕯️ He definitely has one of those girl blogger accounts.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Looks]

🕯️ Kanato is obsessive about his appearance. 

🕯️ From afar you wouldn’t guess it, but Kanato cares a lot about his image, he wants every single thing about his appearance to be perfect. 

🕯️ He has a set image that he was to adhere to 24/7 and if just one thing is off he’ll spiral. (Think of Reiji with absolutely anything, but multiply it by 100x. It’s that bad.) 

🕯️ Kanato has very soft feminine features. 

🕯️ His obsession started because of his mother, who valued her looks along with his. Also partially influenced by those around him in the Royal Court, who at first glance, would identify the similarities between the two. 

🕯️ In fact, Karlheinz would be skeptical for a bit of Kanato’s true gender, finding it uncanny with the parallels surrounding his first wife and 4th son. He’d treat Kanato as a girl despite knowing later on that he isn’t. 

🕯️ This would partially add to Kanato’s slight (not really slight) insecurity of not being seen as ‘man enough’ or atleast a boy. 

🕯️ Since he looks the most like Cordelia, she would keep him on a strict regime so as to not ‘ruin her name.’ 

🕯️ Kanato’s desired image depicts a doll. He wants so badly to look and feel like a doll. In the sense that it’s hauntingly ethereal, and those who cast their gaze upon him are forced to stop and stare. 

🕯️ Almost like his mother, but part of him knows he doesn’t want anyone to see him in that sort of light. Just in the way that they can’t take their eyes off him, and are filled with envy of how surreal he is. 

🕯️ He wants his very entity to invoke a sense of surrealism. As if he came out of a 1900’s portrait, and just looking at him gives off an ‘out of body’ experience. 

🕯️ He prides himself dearly on his looks, but that also has its limitations. (Semi-canon fact.)

🕯️ Sometimes, he wonders how his life would be if he were to look more like his first cousins-once removed (Shin and Carla) and brothers. Would his mother still take pride in him the same way? 

🕯️ Because of him gaining Cordelia’s features, many upon first meeting assume he’s a girl. He gets upset at this, but other times he’d leave it be and proceed to accept it as a compliment. 

🕯️ He’s also pretty short, especially compared to his brothers, so the shock factor from others when discovering he’s a boy also adds to the whole ‘Kanato Experience.’ 

🕯️ TW!! He is used to being catcalled and harassed because of his looks. These are the moments where he wonders if it’s a curse or a blessing to look so much like his mother. 

🕯️ TW!! Due to this, he understands both perspectives, both men and women, and has slight empathy towards their struggles. (Slight. As this is still Kanato we’re talking about.) 

🕯️ TW!! But he has only felt true fear when he was placed in a situation where he happened to be barricaded and incapable of fighting them off. He wondered how he was so powerless, as his hands shook and his body trembled. How he was so quick to become prey instead of the predator. 

🕯️ TW!! He’s had some close calls of being assaulted, especially with the majority of men who are physically larger and stronger than him, but has been saved by older women and couples. 

🕯️ TW!! After this happens, he is usually filled with feelings of resentment and self-loathing. Such as → ‘Why was I so weak? I am no mortal.’ and ‘If the others saw me, they’d call me pathetic– I was pathetic.’ 

🕯️ TW!! Kanato would rather die or skin himself alive than admit he’d been placed in such a situation far too many times for his liking. With countless close calls at that. He wouldn’t want to be seen as a victim like Laito, and definitely not be doted on with the focus of his weakness being called into question. 

🕯️ Because of this, on his days out into the town/out of the house, he carries pepper spray and a small retractable pink combat knife. Just in case his vampiric strength isn’t enough. 

🕯️ Slight TW!! Kanato has been catcalled by Ayato and Laito, before the former two would realize and profusely apologize for mistaking him for a girl. It was embarrassing when he happened to be at the dessert cafe he particularly enjoys in Vandead Carnival, picking up macaroons for Laito and him, when his two brothers started hitting on him out of nowhere. 

🕯️ Ayato would initially not talk to him for a week, making a point to avoid him in every single room they both happened to enter, before Kanato would throw his Teddy at him. 

🕯️ Laito on the other hand, would laugh it off. But inside he’d somewhat hate himself and think back to the similarities towards Kanato and their mother. It’d make him feel more uncomfortable if anything. 

🕯️ Upon first meeting, the Mukami’s would assume Kanato was a girl as well. They’d find out the hard way when Kanato rejects both Yūma and Kou’s advances and Ayato pipes in to get them away from his brother. 

🕯️→ “Oi! Kanato ain’t a girl, that’s my brother, you half-blooded creeps!” 

🕯️→ “Didn’t you and Laito also mistake him for some chick…?”  Shuu would retort, causing the former to go silent and red, while Laito waves his hands dismissively, giving small uncomfortable chuckles. 

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Hair]

🕯️ He prides himself on his purple hair (Canon fact.) 

🕯️ His hair is kept at a medium length, sometimes reaching his collarbone. 

🕯️ Kanato trims his hair every month. 

🕯️ He has a step by step hair care routine.

🕯️ He washes his hair 1-2 times a week.

🕯️His hair is naturally silky smooth, however it’s more flat in comparison to having volume (smooth > volume, flat > fluffy.) 

🕯️ Shockingly, out of the triplets he has the best hygiene, even going as far to rival Reiji in that department. 

🕯️ He likes to smell like strawberries and vanilla. The light, cute scents that many associate with those girls from shoujo mangas. He absolutely adores it. 

🕯️ He owns high grade shampoo, conditioner, hair masks, hair oils, and even purple shampoo just in case his natural colour lightens even more to his dismay. 

🕯️ He makes sure to wash, shampoo and condition his hair correctly, ensuring that he doesn’t get back acne or neck acne from leaving the product to suck into the skin. 

🕯️ It’s one of his pet peeves to have acne there, and also upsets him greatly when feeling an unnecessary bump on his ‘need to be’ smooth porcelain skin. 

🕯️ Kanato takes an ‘everything shower’ every end of the month, which includes him staying in the shower for 2-3 hours on end, deeply perfecting everything. 

🕯️ This heavily annoys the others, as he tends to take long, hot, excruciating showers which drains the hot water and ups the water bill each month. (To Shuu and Reiji’s dismay.)

🕯️ But make no mistake, Kanato benefits from the hot steam of the shower in comparison to just submerging his entire body in it. If he did, his entire body would be pruned up. Not a good look for his tastes. 

🕯️ His hair used to be darker, a more accurate colour match to Cordelia’s, but overtime due to stress, it lightened. 

🕯️ He prides his hair— and so does his mother. On most nights when she wasn’t dealing with Laito, she’d stay in his room, make Kanato sit in front of his vanity on his chair, and brush his hair. 

🕯️ It was an intimate moment for the two of them where their relationship grew. Oftentimes she’d take solace in these moments and reveal information about herself that no one else would hear. And Kanato would listen. 

🕯️ It was like their own little secret. Their thing that nobody else could take away from them. 

🕯️ This is where Kanato would find his likability to being seen as and called ‘a doll.’ 

🕯️ Cordelia would oftentimes refer to him as her doll or just the nickname ‘doll.’ 

🕯️→ “My little doll, you’re like Mommy when you’re quiet like this.”

🕯️→ “Am I, Mother?”

🕯️→ Cordelia would smile fondly, “Most definitely. You’re lucky to look like me, you know? Who else would dare to pay attention to you or your talents otherwise.”

🕯️→ Kanato would turn his head when he noticed his mother stop, the brush still clutched in her hands. He met her eyes, “I am?”

🕯️→ She’d put the brush down on the vanity, motioning towards the mirror where the two saw their reflection. Emerald green and pure lilac glew, its prominent glow reflecting off the mirror in the dark room, causing the latter to blink for good measure. Kanato would focus diligently, watching for what his mother had to say next. “Yes. Would you like to know a secret, doll?”

🕯️→ He’d nod, “You’ve always been my favourite. Your brothers just don’t have what I and everyone else sees in you.” His eyes would sparkle at that comment, leaving Cordelia to play with his hair.

🕯️→ “I’m… Mommy’s favourite?” The woman smiled, moving her hand to caress her son’s face, the looking glass delaying, “You will always be Mommy’s favourite.”

🕯️ He would never tell anyone of those nights, especially her admittance to him being her favourite. It was one of the secrets he’d take to the grave. 

🕯️→ (This reminded me of the audio on TikTok: My father is the worst person in the world; and I’m his favourite daughter.) 

🕯️ After Cordelia died, he’d sometimes hold his hair and play with it the same way she did to remember the fond memories and secrets they’ve shared. 

🕯️ After his makeup routine, he would style his hair accordingly. 

🕯️ He normally lets his hair air dry, mainly to prevent heat damage. 

🕯️ But in the slight occurrence he absolutely has to use a hairdryer, he will. 

🕯️ He always brushes his hair every time before bed, and in the morning. Exactly 12 strokes each time. Don’t ask. He simply thought the number was perfect for his hair and always does the trick every time. 

🕯️ His hair doesn’t usually tangle. 

🕯️ Kanato uses mousse on his hair when he wants the definition of volume. After this, he’d style his side bangs accordingly. 

🕯️ Sometimes he’d clip his side bangs to the side with his cute clips. The girls at school love this. They eat it up every time. Some even ask for hair tips as his hair is always shiny and well kept. 

🕯️ He always has a comb in his bag, just in case if his hair gets messy. He also keeps portable, travel sized, hair care products. 

🕯️ You know those hair gel glue sticks mainly used for fly aways? He 100% uses them and brings them in his small bag everywhere he goes. He can’t stand the fact that if one thing is wrong, it’ll tear him apart. 

🕯️ Kanato absolutely hates frizzy hair. He does everything to prevent it. Another reason why he isn’t as fond of the rain, it messes up his hair. 

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Body]

🕯️ Kanato has a slim body. 

🕯️ Almost like the ballerina type, but more towards the feminine side of things. 

🕯️ He has long legs, with his torso being a bit more shorter than he’d like. All of this adds to the doll vibe he wants, though. 

🕯️ His neck isn’t that long, and his head is an appropriate size (in his opinion.)

🕯️ He’s more bony if anything, due to his unhealthy tendencies. 

🕯️ His ribcage can almost be seen, but that doesn’t stop the fact that his waist is still defined. 

🕯️ Put simply, he has a bony version of an hourglass figure. There’s fat, but it’s heavily set on the ‘almost anorexic’ side of the scale, especially defined by doctors and the countless physicians that have attended him. 

🕯️ When comparing his mother and him, she really shines when comparing their bodies. It’s like that’s the one thing the genes had to dominate. If he were a woman, their bodies would be exactly the same. Only major difference is Kanato lacks the fat on his body. 

🕯️ It freaks him out sometimes with how skin tight his body happens to appear. But that also gratifies him. Knowing that whatever it is he’s doing is working, makes for a great remedy in a psychotic episode. 

🕯️ Kanato really is almost like skin and bones. It does add to the living doll thing, though. 

🕯️ His collarbone is quite defined, along with his broad-set shoulders. 

🕯️ His complexion is quite fair. 

🕯️ He doesn’t have any known birthmarks to him, his skin is like a blank canvas. 

🕯️ His favourite part of his body are his hands and lips. There’s just something about the fragility of the two that intrigue him. 

🕯️ He loves the natural curve of his lips, the way that it can easily be rosier by biting it or putting more product on it. 

🕯️ It’s obsessive the way he tends to his lips. Always subjecting it to lip scrubs, and moistures. He really likes the way they perfect his face. 

🕯️ Kanato’s hands. Where to begin? He likes the way they’re thin and long. Not too long, that would freak him out. But just enough to allow him to examine them in a deeper context. 

🕯️ He does his best to not bruise them as bad, and if he were to, he’d want to have a contrast of red and pink splotches on his knuckles. He absolutely loves the contrast of the fair skin to the bruised bits. That goes for anyone. 

🕯️ His nails are always maintained. Always done. Either professionally or himself, he can’t catch himself falling short of his list of long expectations for himself. 

🕯️ They’re always filed nicely, and he always keeps his cuticles pushed back. 

🕯️ It’s always a medium length, perfect if he needed to open anything, pick a lock, or defend himself. He especially likes when he sees the damage his nails can cause his victims. 

🕯️ What he doesn’t like is cleaning the dried up blood from his nails. He hates the dirt and grime, but alas such pleasures do have consequences. 

🕯️ Speaking of, he normally paints his nails. Like you’ll never see him without painted nails. If they aren’t painted, someone call the ambulance immediately. 

🕯️ Kanato usually paints them sheer colours. Queue the jelly nail polish. He loves the pink ones, and how it delivers contrasts to his sickly pale hands. 

🕯️ He’ll do other colours, and even full ones but you’ll definitely see this boy with his signature pink. 

🕯️ He’ll even go as far as adding glitter. He loves the sparkly look, it reminds him of what he majorly missed out as a child. 

🕯️ Kanato has 2 ear piercings. One on both ears for his central lobe, the other on both ears as a helix.

🕯️ This was because he was pressured by Ayato and Laito to get another piercing and ‘live a little.’ They used it as a bonding exercise. 

🕯️ Kanato likes to act like he hates it, but secretly he enjoys the variety of earring combinations he can experiment with. 

🕯️ He mainly goes for diamond glittery earrings that don’t dangle as much. Mainly studs. However if it was a special event, then he’d have more of a statement earring in.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Skincare]

🕯️ He has a set skincare routine.

🕯️ He does his skin care every night. He never misses a day. 

🕯️ Kanato has dry skin, but not as sensitive. 

🕯️ He usually uses moisturizers to hydrate his skin, followed by a hydrating serum which is notably his favourite part of his routine. He likes the way he can squeeze the tube connected to the cap of the bottle, how squishy and malleable it is. 

🕯️ Also the way the serum falls on his face, he has no idea why that particularly catches his attention, but he’s fine with it nonetheless. 

🕯️ Kanato despises his eye bags, loathes it even, so you know he’s dead-set on doing everything possible to get rid of them, or atleast make them not as noticeable. They really hinder with the whole ‘doll-look’ he’s trying to viciously obtain. Queue the eye cream and patches. 

🕯️ Shockingly, they do wonders. And anything that isn’t as covered is covered by his makeup routine (mainly his colour correcting concealer and skin-tint light coverage foundation.) 

🕯️ He has very clear skin, and rarely gets acne/pimples. He is only second to having the best skin out of his brothers, the first being Shuu. 

🕯️ The skin care he uses is bought in small quantities, the only thing he regularly buys in bulk are his eye cream and patches. 

🕯️ He always starts his skincare routine by drenching his face in an ice-cold ice bath for 10 minutes, to reduce any puffiness he might have. 

🕯️ Kanato wears contacts most days, only resorting to his glasses if he absolutely has to. His glasses are black cat eye framed. He used to have a rose gold frame but he didn’t like how washed out it made his skin. 

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Makeup]

🕯️ He uses makeup 100% (How else will he keep up his doll-like image?)

🕯️ He never needs to use any high coverage foundation considering that his skin is quite clear. He uses a light coverage skin-tint. 

🕯️ Considering that his complexion is more on the gray-side, he makes it a point to go outside in the sun more often without his umbrella.

🕯️ Because of this, he uses products with shade ranges that keep his very fair skin satiated. 

🕯️ Kanato’s concealer usage mainly goes to colour correcting and removing his eye bags. Everything else is fine in his eyes, it’s just his over dramatic, very dragged out and accentuated eye bags that make his face feel dragged out. 

🕯️ His contouring is quite limited, as he only applies his contour stick to accentuate his jaw, nose, and forehead. He’s satisfied with a softer approach as he prefers softer features in comparison to sharper. 

🕯️ This goes for both himself, and any sacrificial bride/potential love interest he’d set his eyes on. 

🕯️ He uses press powder. Kanato loves dipping his cushion into the powder, pushing and dabbing it onto his face and watching as some of the dust would collect around him in the air. 

🕯️ It’s like those old movies he’d watch with his brothers when they were younger, where the woman would enjoy having their makeup montage. It’s that satisfaction that allows him to revel in his routine. 

🕯️ Once he’s finished with that, his blush takes the center stage. He uses a moderately tinted blush, but uses only a small limited amount so as to not overpower his facial symmetry. It also tends to bring colour to his face and make him feel ‘alive’ so it’s extra important he gets it right. 

🕯️ Kanato also uses the powder blush found in the palettes. 

🕯️ He once tried liquid blush but instantly hated it as he could never get the timing right for how much he needed. Palette is much easier, safer, and plus, he enjoys seeing the product collect on the makeup brush, and tapping it ever so slightly for pan fallout. 

🕯️ His eyes. His absolute favourite part of doing his makeup every single time is the eye makeup. From eyeshadow, to mascara, to the eyeliner. It’s perfection. 

🕯️ He starts with his eyeshadow. He usually uses K-Beauty, considering that the K-Pop idols there have great taste for the glittery glam he’s looking for. It ranges from what he’s feeling, but most of the time you’ll see him with small copious amounts of glitter adorning his eyelids. 

🕯️ And it’s always perfection, seriously, he never misses. It’s often a fan favourite with the girls at school. 

🕯️ Kanato would start with a base colour, blending it with another before adding the small glitter adornments. He usually drifts towards soft pinks, but will use the pastels for blue and purple. 

🕯️ He never uses any of the brighter/riskier colours/shades. He prefers the softer, more pastel colours that add to his appeal. The browns/neutrals are okay too. 

🕯️ Next, his eyeliner. He tends to go for the middle ground. He has great precision, and always hits the mark on the first try. A signature cat-eyeliner is something he’d never dare to leave the house without. 

🕯️ For his lids, he uses liquid liner. For his water line, both top and bottom, a crayon/kajol based mixture. He does this to lessen the load of his already big eyes. 

🕯️ On the top, he strictly uses black. On the bottom? A combination of black and white to obtain his doll look. Near his inner corner close to his nose, he adds more white, then it blends as he reaches a half-way point before he transitions to black. 

🕯️ Admittedly, it was a lot of trial and error but once he got the hang of it, he looked more like a doll than he did bare-faced. 

🕯️ Finally, his mascara. He tends to use a waterproof mascara because of his tantrums. In the past he tried other colours than black, but found that he didn’t like them as much as the effect black had on him. 

🕯️ Also good to note that his eyelashes are long. Like you’d assume he got them done, but then be shocked that it’s all natural. Definitely one of the points many girls are jealous of. 

🕯️ Since his lips aren’t as rosy as he’d like them, he uses lip tints and red-pink lip glosses. Sometimes he’d go the matte look with his lips, others he enjoys the pop of lip gloss. 

🕯️ It’s a pet peeve to have chapped lips. He hates it. Doesn’t matter who has them, it’s hatred all around. Because of this, he keeps extra chapstick (strawberry flavoured, obviously) for his brothers when he sees them. 

🕯️→ “Eh? What’s this, Kanato?”  Laito would ponder, seeing the chapstick being thrust into his hands and a bratty Kanato turning his head away to face the walls of the limo. His arms crossed across his chest as if to prove his point further. 

🕯️→ “Your lips. Fix it.”  Laito would raise an eyebrow, moving his gaze to examine the chapstick. A smirk would grow as he read the label. ‘Strawberry-flavoured.’

🕯️→ “Whatever is the matter with my–”  Kanato would turn his body, glaring at him before moving closer to Laito. “This is the problem. Please, fix it immediately,”  Kanato would retort, pressing a gloved finger to Laito’s chipping lips, hoping to accentuate his dire point. 

🕯️→ “Oh? My, I had no idea you were so bold, Kanato!”  Laito would chuckle, as he watched his younger brother bat his eyes in confusion before a slight blush creeped up on his face. His frustration building too, no doubt. 

🕯️→ “Laito. Now.”  He was now back to his seating, and after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Laito would give in. 

🕯️→ He’d take off the cap, take in the potent strawberry scent and apply the chapstick to his lips, instantly hydrating and moistening them. Kanato would look back, huffing contently before a sly remark would slip by Laito’s lips, “Mmm, strawberry! How delightful.” A pause, “Is this your subtle way of admitting you’ve been dreaming about kissing me, dear brother?”

🕯️→ Kanato’s eyes would widen, “Huh? Don’t be absurd.”

🕯️→ “Hm, your loss~”  Laito flicked his tongue, tasting some of the strawberry flavour. 

🕯️ Kanato would then apply his highlighter. Always blended in, mainly on the tip of his nose, cheeks, and inner corners of his eyes. It’s a white iridescent highlighter, but sometimes he’d use a light pink tinted one if he runs out. 

🕯️ His setting spray is light, making it easy for him to not feel as overstimulated. 

🕯️ He always carries the travel sized perfume bottles in his bag so he’ll be well prepared, especially after gym class. He isn’t fond of smelling bad. 

🕯️ Strawberry or vanilla is his go to. But many would report him smelling a fond strawberry, making that his signature scent. 

🕯️ He always cleans his makeup brushes every 2-3 weeks. He hates the idea of any bacteria or dirt ruining his face. 

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Voice]

🕯️ He has a lighter/higher voice compared to the others, which he definitely hates (but sometimes is at peace with.) 

🕯️ It’s the type that can be light and airy, almost like a girl, but have that small bit of depth when frustrated.

🕯️ Make no mistake, it’s higher than most, which causes him to be mistaken for a girl a lot. (That is, without the looks.)

🕯️ Due to his childhood, his vocal chords are most definitely strained. 

🕯️ As in, he’s a few steps away from becoming mute. But this doesn’t stop him from letting one of his soul-crushing screams out. (Which undoubtedly, adds pressure to his throat, which makes it unbearable hot and sometimes itchy.)

🕯️ In fact, he was forced to sing until his vocal chords started to bleed, filling his mouth and throat with his own blood which definitely tore tissues apart. (Canon fact.) 

🕯️ Sometimes his voice gives out, making him choose silence and only stepping in when he thinks he absolutely has to. 

🕯️ Despite what most think, Ayato and Laito do listen to him in hopes of keeping the peace. 

🕯️ They even take his opinion into account because if Kanato is the voice of reason, then there’s definitely something off and they need to reevaluate themselves. 

🕯️ Kanato drinks a lot of herbal teas, it’s normal for Laito or Reiji (mostly Laito) to make him some because of his strained vocal chords. 

🕯️ Kanato prefers lavender and honey teas, always with 2 and a half sugar cubes. Must be hot but never piping hot to the point where he’ll burn his tongue. 

🕯️ He hates burning his tongue while drinking teas. It makes him have somewhat of a lisp and Ayato teases him about not being careful enough. 

🕯️ He will notice if the tea is not exactly to his liking. If not immediately. 

🕯️ Ayato once tried to make him his tea, and before tasting it, he could smell that something was off. He didn’t add the specific ‘half’ of the sugar cube. Kanato was upset and refused to talk to Ayato for a week, while Ayato profusely apologized since he knew it was a very sore subject. 

🕯️→ (Empathetic as always, Ayato.)

🕯️ Kanato and Reiji regularly drink tea together in the living room, or in Reiji’s office. It’s the one time where Reiji notably enjoy’s Kanato’s company as he isn't as psychotic as he normally comes across. He’s tame, relaxed, and soothed. 

🕯️ Reiji unconsciously finds himself comforted and reveals some of his internal turmoil whilst in Kanato’s presence. There’s just something about the gentle, relaxing presence of Kanato that seems to soothe everyone in the room. As if he can control the entire energy and mood of a room whilst he’s in this state. 

🕯️ Since they’re always together, Laito will become his voice (talk for Kanato) when he cannot, especially when he’s nervous to talk to someone new/foreign to him. 

🕯️ Kanato’s vocal range is very versatile. 

🕯️ He can sing in very high tones, accomplishing high notes with a smooth, steady, and clear confidence. 

🕯️ Ever since the accident with his strained vocal chords, he doesn’t sing as much as he used to. 

🕯️ However, if you saw him in his prime, you’d be filled with envy and shock in an instant. 

🕯️ His singing voice was powerful, it could be light, shrill, and gentle, but also accomplish heightened feats. 

🕯️ He and Shuu did a joint performance at a ball, Shuu played the piano, and Kanato sang whilst sitting atop of the piano. Shuu secretly still has a recording of this performance, unbeknownst to Kanato, and listens to it when he wants to be calmed. 

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Mentality]

IMMENSE TW HERE!! 

🕯️ He has severe attachment issues. 

🕯️ Kanato keeps a large assortment of stuffed toys, each with their own distinct name and personality. He’s afraid that if a person were to leave him, he wouldn’t be able to cope, thus turning to inanimate objects to fill the void.

🕯️ → After all, living people can let you down, but how can inanimate objects do the same? 

🕯️ Hence the wax dolls of all the brides he’s ever claimed. He’d like to make them look beautiful, even in their restless display of a tomb. 

🕯️→ It’s the least he could do after claiming their soul, isn’t it? 

🕯️ He also has abandonment issues which stemmed from his childhood. 

🕯️ He stopped placing faith in his brothers when he slowly watched them drift farther away from him, and closer to each other. 

🕯️ Seemingly, almost everyone in his life who he treasured left him high and dry, so he stays away and chooses not to form any deeper connections due to his fear of being left again. 

🕯️ Sometimes he mourns the person he could’ve been if he hadn’t been a vampire. If he could be considered a ‘morally good’ person, that is. 

🕯️ Kanato also mourns the family he could’ve had, if he were dealt better cards. 

🕯️ Admittedly, the facade that he keeps up is wearing on him. He finds it emotionally draining to always be on edge and be in competition with his brothers. 

🕯️ The hostility that floods the air is always suffocating, but he knows that no one wants to change, so he plays the part of ‘the hysteric’ to the best degree before he entirely burns himself out. 

🕯️ His entire ‘hysteric’ facade is just that. An act. He only does it so he’d have a defining feature for him like his other brothers, and because it made people weary and afraid of him. 

🕯️ It took away all the unwanted attention off him, especially from those with gazes that lingered a bit too long on his body for his comfort. 

🕯️ He’s very insecure of his eyebags, voice, wrists, and shockingly his weight. 

🕯️ TW!! He has self-harmed before for attention, just to be seen by his mother and not be cast aside like Reiji. (Canon fact.) 

🕯️ When his mother found out, she was furious. She complained ruthlessly, making Kanato feel even worse about himself than he did when he started.  

🕯️ He hates his self-harm scars, despite being a vampire with self-healing, they never seemed to go away.

🕯️ TW!! There are light cuts on his wrists, nearing the veins.

🕯️ He never had the courage to cut anywhere else. It scared him, but he’d never admit that. 

🕯️ TW!! Once he cut too deeply, which made the vein burst. He stopped cutting after that, and after his mother scolded him for ‘ruining his body.’ 

🕯️ Ayato and Laito have no idea of his past self-harming tendencies. His half-brothers also don’t. 

🕯️ Laito has theorized that his early comments in their childhood got to Kanato, so he has a lingering feeling that Kanato did call his bluff. (That is, to encourage Kanato to self-harm for said attention.) [Canon fact.]

🕯️ Nonetheless, he always wears long sleeves and translucent gloves which are sheer and skin tight. They cover his scars slightly, however they aren’t the best method of choice.

🕯️ Kanato wouldn’t admit he’s suicidal, however when compairing himself to the others, he doesn’t find a reason as to why he could be deemed as important.

🕯️ He feels constantly pushed away, so if he were to die, he’d be okay and at ease with it. 

🕯️ But he doesn’t go chasing death constantly. He wants to die, but will let it happen when it happens. 

🕯️ Kind of like Shuu in this case. 

🕯️ His voice may fit the doll-like criteria he places upon himself, however it doesn’t stop the fact that he wishes he could’ve been born a bit more masculine like his brothers so he wouldn’t have to resort to this aesthetic he’s plastered upon himself. 

🕯️ That, and paired with the fact that his voice doesn’t make it easier when people would harass him, assuming he’s a girl. 

🕯️ TW!! Kanato has an eating-disorder. 

🕯️ TW!! This was entirely orchestrated by none other than Cordelia herself. Due to her strict standards, and the constant pressure he put on himself to obtain the ‘perfect doll look,’ he started purging. 

🕯️ All of the desserts he eats would be thrown up, allowing him to ensure his body won’t be ‘ruined’ as his mother used to say. 

🕯️ This habit has gotten so bad and risky that Yui has started to notice a pattern, especially when he’d leave their shared Psychology class at a set time every day. Or how he’d barely eat anything at their monthly dinners and during lunch. He even took lengthy pauses for his blood drinking for good measures. 

🕯️ TW!! Kanato would push his fingers down his throat viciously, uncaring of how the medium length nails scratched at his throat, or how blood started to strain his fingertips and fill his windpipe. After all, he’d throw it all up anyways. 

🕯️ → Yūma happened to be in the bathroom one night, washing his hands as he heard the sounds of strained coughs and retching over the toilet bowl. He couldn’t make out the shoes, and whom they belonged to, but he could tell it was bad. 

🕯️→ When the stall door opened, he laid eyes on Kanato, with small tears staining his baked face, he stiffened. He kept washing his hands as Kanato used the faucet next to him, pressing his hand on the soap dispenser. 

🕯️→ “Um.. are you.. ok?”  Yūma would dare, watching as the smaller boy paid him little mind. 

🕯️→ “Yes. I simply ate something bad, that’s all.”  Kanato was quick, almost too quick with his reply. Yūma narrowed his eyes, before flicking his hands, opting to air dry instead. 

🕯️→ He took in Kanato’s figure, and how shaky he happened to be. What’s more, his hazel gaze traced over Kanato’s wrists, and the small, strategic cuts. If it were anything to go by, that wasn’t normal. Living with Azusa taught you that much. 

🕯️→ “Are you sure? Come to think of it, yer’ pretty pale–”  “I am fine.”  Kanato would swiftly cut the taller man off, not wanting to hear anymore of it, as he took out his makeup pouch and proceeded to fix up his appearance. 

🕯️→ Yūma was stunned, not only at the quick defensive position the boy took, but also at a closer glance for how out of shape he was. He was skinny, too skinny. Even by vampiric standards. His wrists were sticks, and his uniform looked a size or two oversized. 

🕯️→ “Look, I know it ain’t none of my business–”  Kanato stopped what he was doing and turned to meet Yūma. Yūma and his pathetic worried gaze. He planned his next words out carefully, “It isn’t, you’re correct about that much. I am fine. I ate too many parfaits, alright? I don’t appreciate the interrogation.” 

🕯️→ Yūma just stared at him blankly, “Yeah. I can’t force you to say anything, can I?”  Kanato would nod, before finishing his makeup and making a bee-line for the door. “But, you can talk to me if somethins’ botherin’ you… you know that.. right?”  

🕯️→ Yūma kept his eyes trained on the door, more importantly, the figure that stopped. A few tense moments of stillness would then pass before Kanato would murmur, “Yeah, of course.”  

🕯️→ Yūma would watch the door open and close, leaving him alone to reflect about what to do with this newfound knowledge. And if Kanato’s response to his aid was honestly sincere. 

🕯️ Kanato’s eye bags have to be one of the biggest things he hates. He wishes it could instantly go away. He gets enough sleep as is (he thinks?) So why won’t they leave? 

🕯️ Kanato definitely has insomnia. Hence the immense annoyance of said eyebags.

🕯️ He’s had it ever since he was a kid and all he wishes is for it to leave so he could at least look half as decent as the rest of his family. 

🕯️ When Yūma teases him by calling him ‘Eye-Bags’ he feels another bit of his self-esteem shatter. He hates it so much, and is one of the leading causes for his self-loathing. 

🕯️ He smokes. He loves the feeling of nicotine and how he makes him feel more alive.

🕯️ He has BPD.

🕯️ He secretly takes meds for them, but once Yui came to the house, Ayato had accidentally thrown them out thinking they were expired muscle relaxer pills which led Kanato to stay unstable and manic.

🕯️ He knows he needs therapy. However he doesn’t know how he could ever bring that up to Reiji. 

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Family]

🕯️ Kanato knows that Laito and Ayato avoid him due to the consistent parallels between him and their mother. 

🕯️ The two think they’ve done a good job at hiding their resentment and slight fear but Kanato can see right through them.

🕯️ Kanato oftentimes mourns the relationship he could’ve had with Ayato and Laito, especially if he wasn’t a carbon copy of their mother.

🕯️ He’d look at old photographs of the three when they were happier and at better terms, then is awakened by the harsh reality that they don’t like him.

🕯️ Oh yeah. They aren’t as fond as Kanato as they’d like to portray. This is mainly because of the similarities between their mother and him. 

🕯️ So everytime Laito pours Kanato a cup of his lavender-honey tea, the latter thinks about how Laito may truly feel to be next to someone who reminds him so much of his trauma.

🕯️ Laito is often uncomfortable with Kanato’s existence. Just because they look alike. If Kanato had the green eyes? Well Laito and Ayato would go into shock. 

🕯️ Ayato only tolerates Kanato because he feels that he has to. Not because he immensely cares as much. (Although, he stays empathetic towards their outcome.)

🕯️ Kanato wishes that he didn’t look like Cordelia on some nights. Especially on the nights where the triplets get into arguments and Ayato ends up saying what they’re all thinking.

🕯️→ “Yeah? Well it ain’t us who looks exactly like our mother! You even act like her too, Kanato.”

🕯️→ The three would all go quiet, with Kanato shaking as he’s registering what Ayato said. He wasn’t his mother. He wasn’t.

🕯️→ “Kanato… I didn’t—”  Ayato choked, “No. You’ve made your point.”  Kanato would leave the room. Leaving a shocked Ayato and silent Laito.

🕯️→ Kanato wouldn’t hear anyone out, and would actively ignore the two before Ayato and Laito trap him on the roof of the school one night during lunch.

🕯️→ “What do you two want?”  Kanato would start, looking at his brothers in annoyance. “We.. we wanted to talk.”  Ayato would chip in, “It’s been a week, Kanato. You cannot seriously expect to win by ignoring us like this, hm?” And Laito would finish. 

🕯️→ “What is there left to say?” Kanato snapped, turning aside to look out at the schoolyard. Ayato let out a softened sigh. “We know we messed up, alright,” he said, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. “But we’re brothers, Kanato.”

🕯️→ Laito’s normally sardonic grin softened as he nodded. With a soft tone, he continued, “We apologize. We went too far.” Emotions seething inside Kanato, his shoulders stiffened. Silence enveloped them, heavy with unspoken tension.

🕯️→ Kanato gave in with a deep breath. He mumbled, “Fine,” his voice barely audible.

🕯️ Subaru once mindlessly let it slip that Kanato deeply resembled his mother while practicing magic. That sent Kanato into a spiral and he stayed up for a week staring at himself through his vanity mirror. 

🕯️ Kanato smokes. Especially with Cordelia. The two would normally go outside in the rose gardens on especially hard days and smoke together. 

🕯️ He started smoking when he was 13, when Cordelia offered him a pack. This is what also strengthened their relationship. 

🕯️ When she died, he started to smoke more. Not because of the guilt or anything, but because he found it to be a remedy for stress. 

🕯️ None of his brothers know that he smokes.

🕯️ He highly values Reiji’s opinion, especially because he’s been there more for him than his own blood brothers have. 

🕯️ He’s slightly jealous of the closer relationship Ayato and Laito have.

🕯️ Cordelia mainly manipulated him a lot. When looking back he wonders how naive he was to believe everything she said. 

🕯️ Karlheinz sometimes mistakes Kanato for Cordelia. Even he isn’t immune to their similarities. 

🕯️ Like when Kanato worked as his secretary, he found himself calling Cordelia’s name instead of Kanato’s, and instantly shutting up after he realizes what he said. This leaves Kanato feeling dumbfounded with the one question resting on his mind, ‘Am I really that similar to her?’ 

🕯️ Kanato would later find out that his mother also worked as his secretary, making the two even more similar than they already appear, much to his dismay. 

🕯️→ “Cordelia, my dear, could you fetch those reports for me?”  Karlheinz's request was gentle, laced with familiarity.

🕯️→ With a stilled hand, Kanato’s breath caught in his throat. Despite a sense of unease, he forced a tight-lipped smile. His voice strained, “Right away, Father.”

🕯️→ Kanato felt the atmosphere change as he made his way to get the reports. He glanced back and saw Karlheinz’s expression go blank as an understanding dawned in his eyes. His brief expression of perplexity as he tried to comprehend his error spoke volumes.

🕯️ Karlheinz wonders if he wants Kanato as an option for the Adam and Eve plan because of Cordelia and Kanato parallels. There’s a small selfish feeling that lingers, making him want to keep Kanato all for himself. 

🕯️ Kanato definitely had to deal with Karlheinz’s weird/creepy advances.  🕯️→ It’s canon that he’s a bit creepy, and definitely messed up, so take that as you’d like.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Brides/Yui]

🕯️His relationship with any sacrificial bride as of late has been at face value. He knows that the way he treats others, especially as a lesser being, is partially motivated by how others have viewed him his entire life. 

🕯️ Kanato simply doesn’t know how to begin changing for the better, so the cycle continues. He’s in an environment that promotes the very bad behaviours that he’s identified. That is, in everyone (the brothers), and in himself. 

🕯️ There was one sacrificial bride before Yui, perhaps ten years before she arrived, who made him hyper aware of what he and his brothers were doing. 

🕯️ The monsters that they were. 

🕯️ That was the first time he ever thought to reevaluate himself as an individual, especially with the bride who would do everything to make him understand that everyone has at least a little bit of humanity in them. 

🕯️ He’d recall the way his father treated the wives, and the way his mother would treat him. It would send him into a spiral, before opting to lessen the way he reacts. 

🕯️ This unknown bride amongst the thousands that have entered the Sakamaki Mansion would die, however at the hands of Laito. 

🕯️ Now that was a turning point for Kanato. It was shocking how that so easily proved the bride’s point, yet he felt so empty about the whole ordeal. 

🕯️ Kanato vowed to remember that bride, name and all. She is also the centerpiece of his wax doll collection, the one who’s perfect in every way. He owes her that much. 

🕯️ He viewed her as a friend if anything. That is, if mortals and immortals could be friends. 

🕯️ He also vowed to figure out how to turn his life around for the better once given the chance. He often thinks about her, and now with Yui here, he thinks that now is the chance to break the cycle. 

🕯️ He often thinks about her a lot. Like she rests constantly on his mind, almost like a lingering repressed feeling.

🕯️ Kanato doesn’t think he could ever be loved. Like for everything, flaws and all. 

🕯️ So when Yui comes around, talking him about everything he does well and how he has a good side, he has no idea if she’s being genuine or if she wants something from him, and only wants to use him just like everyone else has. 

🕯️ He wants Yui to be happy, in his own way of course. But part of him knows that it’ll never be with him. His obsessive tendencies, especially when it comes to love, is the main driving point which pushes people away. 

🕯️ It’ll take him a bit to understand that fully, but once he comes to that settlement, he’ll be okay with giving Yui to one of his brothers. After all, most of the sacrificial brides choose them anyways, so how would this be any different? 

🕯️ When he finds out Yui has Cordelia’s heart, he almost is hurt. Considering how that’s the woman he shared most of his vulnerability with, and who exploited it. 

🕯️ He wonders if Cordelia can talk to Yui in her mind, or subconscious. Considering that they’re two souls in one body. 

🕯️ The more he thinks about it, the more he’s unsettled by the fact that she, the entire time, has taken a backseat and listened to every confidential conversation like some unauthorized third-party. 

🕯️ When he meets Yui, and hears of her temporary permanence within the house, he instantly thinks back to his redemption that the old bride talked about. 

🕯️ After all, there won’t be any more after Yui, right? This can be his chance to make the change he wants. All he has to do… is not get attached. 

🕯️ This is easier said than done, considering how Yui’s blood is almost irresistible. 

🕯️ During the awakening, when Yui would feel pains, Kanato would as well. Since he has her magic and all. 

🕯️ He’d have migraines that would go on for days on end, and the pain in his chest? Unbearable. 

🕯️ Yui and Kanato would have that one thing in common at least, being remnants of Cordelia.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Academics]

🕯️ Kanato is much smarter than he appears. He usually plays dumb to ensure that he isn’t found in any trouble.

🕯️ He’s really good at physics and math. Like a prodigy. The only reason why he hides it is because his mother often said if his true IQ was revealed, it’d put him at risk of being seen as competition and potential execution.

🕯️ He is quite good at the sciences, which is often a conversation point whenever he participates in class. 

🕯️ He always makes it a point to participate at least once for every class he attends. Doesn’t matter how, just knowing that he did one thing is all the motivation he needs to continue. 

🕯️ His schedule is as follows: 

🕯️→ Semester 1: Advanced Functions (Math), Psychology, Physics, Chemistry.

🕯️→ Semester 2: Advanced English, Japanese, Accounting (Business), Calculus and Vectors (Math). 

🕯️ Kanato has Psychology with Yui and often sits in the middle row, considering how he uses glasses. 

🕯️ Yui finds him much more bearable and engaged when in Psychology. 

🕯️ She even willing wanted to be his partner for a project. He accepted and they got the highest grade in the class. 

🕯️ For all of his classes he tries to sit in the middle row. 

🕯️ Karlheinz forces all the boys to take at least one business course so they’ll be prepared if any of them need to take over the family business. Kanato chose accounting since it’s closest to math and he enjoys it. 

🕯️ Since he took Functions (year 2 math course) during summer school, he is in the 3rd year Advanced Functions course. Reiji, Ruki, Carla and Shuu are in his class. 

🕯️ He once corrected Reiji on an answer while he was writing it on the board, to Reiji’s surprise Kanato was right and the teacher applauded Kanato for spotting his mistake. 

🕯️ Reiji, Ruki, and Carla were shocked to know that Kanato’s test scores were pretty high. He even beat Reiji and Ruki, getting 100%. 

🕯️ Shuu couldn’t care less since he barely shows up. He only shows up for tests, which he aces every time. This always pisses Reiji off. 

🕯️ Reiji and Carla are in his Calculus and Vectors class. 

��️ Laito is in his Advanced English class, often times he’ll tease him for working but becomes shocked when looking over at his essay for peer editing. (He barely has any mistakes.)

🕯️ Ayato and Kou are in his Japanese class. It’s especially tiring when he has to deal with the two bickering over Yui. 

🕯️ During lunch, you’ll see him and Subaru eating desserts together. Kanato likes the quiet comfort Subaru offers, and Subaru likes the companionship. 

🕯️ If those two aren’t together then it’s Laito and Kanato, however Laito usually ditches him at school. 

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Fashion]

🕯️ He’s really good at sewing. So good that he’s made his own clothes, and even could start a small business. (Canon fact.) 

🕯️ He has a small business for clothing. He takes commissions and creates magic. This is mainly done online and his website is the cutest. Kanato really cares about the small, little, intricate details. 

🕯️ He’s made clothing items for himself, Reiji, and sometimes anyone else who asks.

🕯️ Just by looking at someone, he can instantly tell what their measurements are.

🕯️ He loves the Victorian Gothic aesthetic/clothing.

🕯️ This boy loves VKEI. The clothing for him is total eye candy. 

🕯️ Kanato also enjoys the ‘dark coquette’ style.

🕯️ He likes ruffles and embroidered cuffs of sleeves, along with pretty brooches that fit his outfits perfectly. 

🕯️ His shoes have a ½ inch booster insole added in. He adores the clack and click in shoes when he walks, it makes him feel important. 

🕯️ His shoes also have a hidden blade inside, making it accessible to him if he needs to protect himself or fight back. 

🕯️ Kanato is obsessed with shiny jewelry. You’d assume he was a crow. 

🕯️ After his mother died, she left most of her jewelry to Kanato. Most days you’ll see him wear her iconic jade brooch. The one that’s shaped like a flower, with 14k gold detailing. It’s one of his most prized possessions. 

🕯️ He especially likes ancient jewels, the ones that carry magical properties. 

🕯️ Sometimes Kanato will cross dress. He does like the fabrics and can tell what instantly suits him. However everytime he does, for whatever reason (if it’s to get something for someone else, or he’s forced,) he feels that small insecurity taunting him that he’s not and never will be ‘man enough.’ 

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Magic]

🕯️ After Cordelia died, all her remaining magic/mana/powers transferred to Kanato, making him like the ‘last living remnant’ of Cordelia (not including the obvious— Yui.)

🕯️ He is really good at using magic, he’s the best out of all his brothers.

🕯️ People usually go to him if they need help with it.

🕯️ He’s memorized countless spell books, even the ones his late mother left him.

🕯️ He has pyrokinesis (Canon fact.) [Fire magic/can control fire.]

🕯️ He can perform soul transfer. (Canon fact.)

🕯️ Kanato loves contacting the other realm (realm of the dead,) he finds it interesting to hear the stories they tell.

🕯️ He has an ‘all seeing eye.’ Basically allows him to see ghosts and the dead.

🕯️ He found this out when he was 5, playing with his dolls and he saw an unknown woman sitting on his bed. She was covered in blood and she had an ax in her skull.

🕯️ This terrified him, but he mustered up the courage to acknowledge her existence.

🕯️ She didn’t say anything, just nodded to his questions. Once he brought this up to his mother but she forced him to never speak of this ability again.

🕯️→ Perhaps she was afraid? Who knows. Definitely not Kanato. 

🕯️ So whenever you see him leaving an extra seat available, another cup of tea, or bowing as a greeting to a seemingly empty space— he’s acknowledging the ghosts that linger in the home.

🕯️ To his surprise, many of the brides linger. He does his best to pay his respects. He at least has some decency to not upset the dead. (Especially since they can pay it back in full.)

🕯️ The main hot spots in the home are near Reiji’s study, the hallway that leads to the grand ballroom, and the torture chamber located far beneath the house. 

🕯️ Once, Reiji realized most of his supplies were misplaced in his laboratory. Turns out it was one of the brides he’d killed years ago who’d done it. Kanato never told him that, and Ayato was blamed and punished. 

🕯️ In his early years, many doctors assumed he had schizophrenia.

🕯️ He was heavily medicated for a while which messed with his cognitive functions.

🕯️ Kanato regularly uses magic, even for the small, simple things. Like turning on lights, closing doors, that stuff. 

🕯️ He feels that his magic is apart of him, so he really values it.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

⇘ : : [Bag]

Ever wondered what’s in Kanato’s bag? School Bag? Here you have it.

🕯️ Kanato has two bags. His school bag, and his small purse. (Yes he has a purse. But never call it that, it’s a man-purse. He will get insecure and embarrassed immediately.) 

🕯️ In his school bag all of his binders are colour coded, along with his notes.

🕯️ Everything is perfectly organized, from his notes for each class, to his homework and old tests. 

🕯️ He colour codes his notes for each subject, along with the homework assigned. 

🕯️ He takes pride in his note taking skills, since they’re very aesthetic. 

🕯️ Kanato keeps a reusable water bottle with him. Most are shocked that he even drinks water to begin with, but what they don’t know is how it does wonders for his skin. 

🕯️ He also brings his laptop with him every day to school. Sometimes he’ll forget his charger, but normally his classmates let him borrow theirs. 

🕯️ His hand-writing is sometimes messy but their legible. He’s secretly doing practice to improve his cursive. 

🕯️ His pencil case is filled with those over the top cute supplies. As in, he’ll have a teddy bear eraser, and cute highlights and pencil crayons. 

🕯️ In his school bag he also carries his purse. 

🕯️ His purse consists of his wallet (it’s this cute polar bear), his makeup pouch, his medication (pills), and travel sized combs. 

🕯️ Kanato’s makeup pouch has all of his normal makeup products but condensed to travel size. He loves his perfumes, so it’s always going to be there since he runs out of them quite easily. 

🕯️ As always, the strawberry chapstick is there for himself, his brothers, and anyone else he sees that desperately needs it. Like no joke, he’s a chapstick warrior. He’s like Santa, but for chapstick. No one knows how he has the space for it, but it’s like a never-ending supply. 

🕯️ Kanato also keeps his nail polish in his bag, in a small side component.  

🕯️ Once he started to paint his nails in psychology, and the teacher directed the topic onto the psychological effects of red nail polish. It was interesting and he found himself amused that he could cause such a commotion based on one small thing. 

I hope you stars like some of my personal HC's for Kanato. This took me two days, since I really had to think deeper about how I perceive his character.

Credits to the artist of the Kanato fanart!!

Lmk if you guys would be interested in any other HC's!!

[topazshadowwolf]

GoopTales: Part 22, waking up and domestic fluff

And now, they wake up...

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22(you are here)/34

AO3: Ch 1 (1-4), Ch 2 (4-8), Ch 3 (9-12), Ch 4 (13-16) Ch 5 (17-19), Ch 6 (20-23), Ch 7 (24-27), Ch 8 (28-31), Ch 9 (32-34)

---

Something moving started to pull him from the deeper sleep he had been enjoying. It wasn’t the first time he felt something move while sleeping. It frequently happens; he ignores it and continues to sleep, which is how it usually goes. His tentacles, reacting to the emotions that his dreams stir, are typically what he feels when moving about in bed. 

This was different, though.

It felt like small hands pushing on his back as someone was climbing on him. Soft, hushed voices telling the one who was climbing him confirmed his suspension. Nightmare groaned softly before opening his eye and looking at the little skeletons. Killer continued to climb up on him, settling down in the center of his back, making it hard for Nightmare to see him.

“killer,” Horror hissed softly in a whisper, “you woke him up.”

“i did?” Killer asked without the care of keeping quiet.

“You did,” Nightmare said before yawning. Slowly sitting up, he felt Killer safely slip down onto the bed in a fit of giggles.

“sorry,” Dust said softly.

“No need to apologize. I actually had a pleasant sleep. I hope you four did as well,” Nightmare said as his tendrils curled around the four small skeletons in a hug. “Now, if only I woke up on my own accord and not because some little minion decided to start crawling all over me. A rude awakening by an intrepid mountain climber is a poor start to a day.”

“intepit?” Cross asked.

“In-trep-id,” Nightmare corrected.

“intrepid,” Cross said, trying again.

“There you go, it means fearless or adventurous,” Nightmare explained.

“that’s me!” Killer exclaimed, holding his arms up excitedly.

Nightmare used a tendril to pick the child up, purposefully holding him upside-down, “Yes, that was you, but your actions were still rude. Were they not?”

Killer giggled, “sorry!”

“Why do I doubt that you are?” Nightmare asked, and Killer giggled more as Nightmare set him back down. “Alas, the youth these days have no respect for their elders. Whatever is an old man like me to do?”

“i re-pect you, mr. night,” Cross said quickly before whispering to Horror, “what’s re-pect mean?”

“respect, it means… um…,” Horror put his hand to his chin as he thought. “i know what it means just… um…”

“You are unsure how to define it, or put it into words?” Nightmare asked, and Horror nodded. “Start, and I will help you when you need it.”

“okay, um. it means that you… show uh… well you listen and you…show someone they are important,” Horror said, then looked at Nightmare.

“Exactly. You honor them by listening, doing as they ask, and being polite.” He smiled and patted Horror on the back. “You did well, Horror. You did not need my help after all.”

“thank you, mr. night,” Horror said with a smile.

“i respect you! i just like being silly,” Killer giggled.

“That you do, you little imp,” Nightmare huffed.

To that, Killer gasped and folded his arms, “i’m not an imp! i’m a skeleton!”

“Yes, you are. Come along, babybones. Time for breakfast,” Nightmare said as he stood from his bed.

“oh! oh! can you carry me, pleeeeaaase~?” Killer asked, holding his arms up in the traditional ‘pick me up pose’ all children seem to know naturally.

“me too! please!” Cross said, putting his arms up as well.

“Alright,” he said as he used his tendrils to wrap around those two and lifted them off the bed. Killer giggled and squirmed a little before finally settling into the hold. It amused Nightmare as the youngest, Cross, patted the tendril as if it were alive while whispering, “thank you” to the limb. As Cross continued to gently pet the limb, Nightmare turned his attention to Dust and Horror. “What about you two? Do you want to be carried, as well?”

“yes, please,” Horror replied, and Nightmare curled a tendril around him. Horror simply hugged the limb that held him with a content smile.

Dust was hesitant and fiddled with his fingers for a short moment before he softly muttered, “please?”

And with that, Nightmare lifted him off the bed as well. Just as before, there was a flinch at the initial contact, but Dust soon relaxed and was lifted off the bed. He looked down and around himself, interested in the different angle he now had to view everything. 

Nightmare made his way out of his room to theirs to help them pick out what they would wear and get them ready for the day. Keeping Killer and Cross focused was a struggle, but he could after that good sleep. One at a time, he helped them brush their teeth, Cross needing help with the action to make sure he got all of his teeth, and a tendril around Killer kept him in place long enough to complete the task. Once done and dressed, he walked them down the hall.

“what about you, mr. night? you still have your jammies on!” Cross asked.

“That I do. Once you four are being watched by Lyra, I shall change and brush my teeth,” He explained as they continued on their way. This time, they wanted to walk on their own—Killer and Dust on one side, Horror and Cross on the other side of him. Killer and Horror were holding a tendril in one hand and the other’s hand in the other.

Once they reached the kitchen, he found Lyra at the refrigerator going through its contents. She looked up at Nightmare and the others and smiled. “I hope you do not mind. I decided to make meal plans for the week,” she said, closing the refrigerator door.

“I do not mind at all. I will admit, I was so busy with other things that I just decided on meals when it was time to eat,” Nightmare admitted. “Speaking of meals, I have four little baby bones-”

“i’m not a baby! i’m an intrupid,” Killer started.

“Intrepid,” Nightmare corrected.

“intrepid… umm… oh! climber!” Killer announced.

“you are a babybones,” Horror grinned while patting Killer on the head.

“nuh-uh!” Killer rebutted.

“Alright, no more arguing. All four of you are baby bones, adventurous nature or not. Now, if Lyra is alright with it, I will leave you four in her care as I get myself ready for the day,” Nightmare declared.

“okay, mr. night!” Cross said before hugging Nightmare around the legs.

“I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. I will have them help with breakfast, and when you get back, we will enjoy a meal together,” Lyra smiled.

It had been long enough that Dust could now eat most of what was given to him without making him sick. And with them helping, that should keep Killer out of trouble and Horror entertained enough not to prank the others. Content they were in good hands, Nightmare started to turn to leave when he felt someone holding one of his tendrils.

Looking down, he saw Dust holding the limb in question. He was near tears as he looked up at Nightmare with a pleading look that said what his voice was failing to say. Dust wanted to come with. When he was alone with the boys, Dust stayed close whenever Nightmare was home. He usually did not initiate physical contact beyond holding a tendril like now, but he did accept it when offered. At this moment, when the others were going over to Lyra to learn what she had planned for breakfast and how they could help, Nightmare considered Dust may have become “clingy.”

What was he to do…

Nightmare will not admit it, but after his troubles as a small child at the hands of adults… he had a soft spot for them. Such young children should be his brother's concern. And yet, Nightmare just had a hard time hurting, emotionally or physically, children. It just felt like bullying.

He just… didn’t like bullying of children…

That dislike only seemed to get stronger the older he got.

But this wouldn’t be bullying… it would be telling Dust he had to wait with the others.

And yet…

He was getting soft…

Those sad eyelights, tears in the corner of his sockets, as the child silently pleaded…

“Dust,” Lyra said as she walked over and knelt down. “Mr. Night just needs to get dressed and cleaned up like you did.”

Dust looked down at the floor and nodded; he understood, but… Nightmare was the first adult to show him kindness and love. After all the anger and hate he had experienced, Dust seemed scared to be away from Nightmare. He felt safe when Nightmare was around and wanted the guardian who was protecting him from “The Doctor” to stay nearby.

“Lyra, I,” Nightmare started, but Lyra shook her head.

“Dust, I have an idea. Can you help me? Nightmare is going to be very hungry by the time he is done, and I do not think I and the other three could make enough food for him without your help,” Lyra said as she held her hand out to him.

“Hmmm, I am feeling rather peckish right now,” Nightmare said thoughtfully.

“I am sure you will be ravenous by the time you return,” Lyra grinned.

“i thought you didn’t hafta eat since you eat emotions!” Killer blurted out. He then gasped, “what about all the times you didn’t eat with us? Was that because… because you didn’t make enough for all of us and you?”

“Well… I require emotions more than food, but I also enjoy food,” Nightmare explained.

“you really need my help?” Dust asked in a whisper to Lyra.

“I do,” She whispered back. “So, will you help us?”

Dust looked up at Nightmare and then back at her with a nod. With that, she extended her hand, and he placed his hand in hers. She then stood and guided him over to the others. Dust looked back momentarily but then focused on where she was guiding him. With the group distracted with breakfast plans, Nightmare turned and left the room to prepare for the day.

…

He could get used to this…

---

next

[shewhohangsoutincemeteries]

to ashes, development

Clint Barton x F!Reader

To Ashes, Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Summary: a development on a mission means it's time to move on.

Warnings: angst, fluff, canon-typical violence.

Word Count: 2,313

follow my fanfiction blog

prologue - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 -31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35

Days Since the Decimation: Three Years, Eighty-Five Days

“Holy shit, you got any idea how fuckin’ hard I am right now?”

You wrinkled your nose. “Oh, gross.”

Clint frowned.

“What? It’s seedy as hell,” you waved a hand. “You take me to the worst places.”

You swore, you could actually see him roll his eyes from the other side of the building. “Not exactly poetic, are they?”

The two of you were on top of an old disused warehouse in Harringay, listening with distaste as the men inside discussed their, ugh, merchandise. What was it with men and guns?

The weapons ring you’d fought in Holland Park was still at large, and Clint had spent the last two weeks tracking them down again. Honestly it was a testament to them that it had taken him this long, even without his old SHIELD connections. Whoever they were, they weren’t street level thugs.

…It made you feel the tiniest bit better about them getting the better of you in the park.

Clint had scrubbed through the local police files for any clues as to where they were setting up house. Between that and his own reconnaissance, he’d managed to track one of their prominent dealers to right under your feet.

“You still clear on the plan?”

Nodding, you unhooked the safety hood of your holster. “Yeah. Yeah, I got it.”

“Y/N…”

You looked up with a raised brow, fixing him with a pointed look. “Are you really about to lecture me about not taking revenge?”

Clint met your eye with an almost exasperated expression. “Point taken.”

“You ready for this?”

“That’s my line.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” you smirked, stretching out a kink in your neck. “Let’s go to work.”

***

You were really getting tired of these guys.

That’s the only thought that came to you as you rolled behind the crates to your left, gun still in your hand. You came to a kneel, your back meeting the wood with a dull thump. They were too prepared, to ready for the two of you.

This wasn’t supposed to end in a shootout. This was supposed to be a quick job, and yet… how did they know about the two of you? They’d mentioned a boss in the park, someone who had guessed you’d been Clint’s back up, but still… they knew you were coming. Not well enough to lay a proper trap, to ambush you before you got inside, but well enough to be ready.

You ducked lower with a curse as wood shattered above you, large splinters raining down on top of you. Thankful for the hood that kept them out of your hair, you exhaled and turned to fire two shots back around the corner. One shot went wide, but you smiled grimly as the second bullet buried itself in a man’s shoulder. He cursed in a heavy Eastern European accent as you ducked back behind the crate.

“Did you have a plan B for tonight, or are we winging this?” you said into your comms. You heard a cry go up among those shooting at you, followed by shouts of confusion and a few wild shots. You winced despite yourself for a second, waiting for a response in your ear to assure you that they’d missed.

“I’m working on one,” Clint replied gruffly, and you released a small, relieved breath despite your faith in him.

“So… winging it, it is then,” you sighed wearily, setting a new magazine into your handgun and adjusting your hold on the grip. “You know, I kinda hate being the one to draw their fire.”

“I’ll make note of it for next time,” he replied dryly, and another gurgling cry went up among the men between the two of you as Clint shot back out of the shadows long enough to take one of them down. He sliced up two – the one you’d wounded and the man closest to him. “Don’t do anything stupid, alright? We’ve got this under control.”

“Do we?”

“You doubt me?”

“I—”

“Fuck this!” shouted one of them – a burly brunette with a greying beard and tattoos scattered over his biceps. “Get one of the pushka out here and end this!”

“Clint—” you said warningly, stealing a glance over the crates.

“Don’t panic,” he warned, and you swore you caught the glimpse of silver in a brief shift of the light to let you know exactly where he was. “You’re not their biggest problem right now.”

“Clint—”

A deafening blast sounded and you fell forward, hands flying automatically to your ears. The crate to your left exploded – as did the wall in front of you, burst apart in a wave of electric blue energy.

“Holy—”

“Y/N!”

“I’m fine, just—”

“Forget the bitch! Get the Ronin!”

You scrambled away from where you’d hidden, throwing yourself behind an old forklift. Too late, you realized you’d left your gun behind, having dropped it when your hands had flown to your ears. Swearing to yourself, you winced as another blast fired. The building itself groaned as they blew another hole in a wall.

“What the hell is that thing?!”

“Just get outta here, Y/N! I’ll distract—”

“Don’t you fucking dare, Barton!”

“Just go!” he barked back. “Now!”

“Goddamn it!” you growled, standing as you heard the men shout that they’d spotted the Ronin above them. You saw the gun – a bazooka-like cannon – turn upward, point directly at the shadowy figure above. “Stubborn-ass-son-of-a—”

The blaster fired, and you swept your arm upward in the same moment. A shield appeared seconds before the energy wave could hit Clint, knocking him to the side. The energy wave just barely glanced off the shield before blowing a hole in the roof and sending debris collapsing down on the men below.

“What are you—?”

“Take the moment, Clint; you can yell at me later!” you spat back through gritted teeth, sprinting towards the group still shielding themselves from falling bricks and timber. “Get out! I’m right behind you!”

Pulling the knife from the back of your belt, you turned it in your grip and plunged it into the hand of the man closest to the crate they’d pulled the pushka from, ignoring the way he screamed. You released it, instead grabbing the first weapon you could from the crate – thankfully, a much smaller hand-gun style weapon – and kept running. A few men managed to get off a few shots before you were clear, and you winced as you felt a bullet tear through your sleeve to graze your forearm.

Feet pounding too loud on the pavement, you made it quickly to an alleyway across the street, tucking your prize under your injured arm as you grabbed hold of the rung of a fire escape ladder with your other arm and swung yourself upwards. You could hear the building behind you continue to collapse as you climbed the ladder, and you winced as a hand gripped yours as you reached the top.

“Are you insane?”

“Are you?” you shot back breathlessly as Clint pulled you up onto the roof beside him. “What the hell kind of plan was that? You were gonna let them shoot you with that thing?”

“I’m faster than I look, Y/N,” he pointed out sourly. “And now they know—”

“They don’t know shit,” you argued. “There’s no way they could see the difference between that shield and whatever the hell they were shooting at us with.”

“It was still really stupid, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome.”

Clint gave you a look that somehow managed to look grateful and exasperated all at once.

“Oh, and I totally get MVP this mission.”

“Is that a thing?” he replied dryly.

“It is now,” you said proudly, finally managing to catch your breath. Ignoring the pain throbbing in your arm, you held out the gun you’d stolen. “Ta-freakin’-da, Barton.”

***

“Lat—”

“What?”

Clint repeated himself louder, but his voice was still muffled by the wood of the door and the spray of the shower.

“What?”

You heard the shower door open and a few dull sounds before the bathroom door in front of you opened. Water dripped over Clint’s bare torso and soaked his hair, one hand clutching the towel slung around his waist. You watched him hesitate as he met your gaze, watched the adam’s apple in his throat bob. “Latveria.”

“Lat– Latveria?”

“This is starting to feel dangerously like a bit,” Clint said dryly, stepping back into the shower stall. You felt heat rise in your face as he closed the door and the towel was thrown up over the top of it. You stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment before closing the lid of the toilet and perching on the edge of it. “That’s where the weapons are being made.”

“And they’ve made it all the way out here?” you replied, swallowing as you tried to pointedly avoid staring at the shower. The stall was made of textured, frosted glass, and while it granted Clint modesty, you could still just make out his silhouette against the screen. His hands rose to scrub through his hair, his profile turned just barely away from you.

“They’re global,” Clint told you, raising his voice over the spray. “I heard reports of them turning up in New York back before… Fury had someone else working on it.”

“And we just happened to stumble onto them in a park in London?”

Clint’s hands lingered at the back of his neck. “They’ve been making bigger waves lately. Guess she’s been getting a little cockier since the Decimation wiped out half the authorities that could work their case.”

“‘She’?”

Clint’s hands moved down his chest to his stomach, and you lowered your gaze to the floor, face burning. Your thighs pressed together despite yourself. You knew your voice had broken slightly as you’d spoken that one word.

“Lucia von Bardas.”

The water shut off, and you straightened slightly, your hands threaded together in your lap. The towel disappeared into the stall. “Should I recognize the name?”

“Only if you’re trying to be familiar with Eastern European politics,” Clint told you, the shower stall opening after a moment. “She’s a pretty big name in Latverian political parties. She’s got interests in most of the big exporters coming out of that place, including Von Doom Industries. There’s been rumors of her dealing in some… less than legal businesses for a while now. Guess now we’ve actually got some proof.”

Clint stepped out; the towel tucked securely around his waist once more. He seemed to be avoiding your eye, wiping down the foggy mirror with his palm.

“And?”

“And what?”

“We’re going to take her out, right?”

You stood up, and Clint met your eye in the mirror. He sighed.

“That expression tells me you’ve already decided on the answer for us.”

***

“I’m starting to miss Stark’s money.” Clint sighed, settling back into the seat beside you.

“You’re the one who books these oh-so-deluxe travel arrangements,” you pointed out, attempting to find a comfortable position against the firm back of the bus seat. “You’d think with your super-ninja-spy-magic you’d be able to get us a fancier ride.”

“I’m not a ninja,” he told you patiently. “Or magic.”

“You’re a little magic.”

Clint shook his head with a smile; you were sure there was faint color on his cheeks as he dropped his head back against the headrest.

“So, how long exactly is this ride?”

He answered with his eyes closed. “…About two days.”

“Two days?!” you repeated, when you saw his smile grow slightly, you scowled. “I kinda hate you, you know.”

“I thought I was magic.”

“Magic and despised.”

He chuckled; eyes still closed. The bus pulled away from the curb, surprisingly empty. The sky outside was already dark, and the glow of the streetlights passed over the archer’s face. “We’re less likely to be recognized on the bus.”

“Curse you and your logic.”

Clint didn’t reply, and the two of you sat in silence for twenty minutes before you spoke again.

“It’s a little annoying how easily you can fall asleep.”

He smirked; eyes still stubbornly closed. “I’m not asleep.”

“…How about now?”

“Were you always this annoying on road trips?” he teased.

You laughed, closing your eyes too. “Oh, please. You’d be so bored without me.”

***

You opened your eyes slowly, blinking away the sleep still lingering. You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep, but the wide expanse of road ahead of the bus told you you’d left the city a long time again, as did the faint pink glow tainting the deep purple of the night sky. You shifted, brow furrowing as you felt the warmth pressed up against your side and the rough fabric against your cheek. A comfortable weight rested against the crown of your head, and you frowned against the fuzziness still clinging to your tired mind.

Your eyes finally cleared to settle on the color of Clint’s jacket, and you felt his breath fan softly against your hair. You’d fallen asleep, your head falling against his shoulder, and he’d apparently done the same. His cheek was pressed against your hair, his breathing steady and even. A smile touched your lips as you let the sensation of his chest rising and falling lull you back into rest, and you ignored the sensible part of your brain that was trying to remind you that you were supposed to maintaining your distance from him.

Your eyes fell to your lap as your eyelids began to droop, and warmth flared in your cheeks. Your hand was on your thigh, and Clint’s rested beside it, his fingertips settled on the back of your hand. Your skin was warm and tingled under his touch.

Had he… had he been holding your hand?

.

.

.

tags: @trekkingaroundasgard @lovely-dreamer19 @wittyforachange @wefracturedmotivation @january-echoes @glossyloner @capitalnineteen @youclickedthislink @s0ftness @castieltrash1 @drakelover78 @queenoftheunderdark @lol-you-thought @akumune@xxboesefrauxx @enna-core@hearmyharmony@katsies @youralphawolf72 @maenji@rhymesmenagerie@gwianasky @melaclintbartoncorner @loki-is-loved@whovianayesha @bradfordbantams@alice-the-nerd@fanofallthefics @ace-fandom-dumbass @kaelyn-lobrutto24@twsssmlmaa @earth-pig-fish@meeksmusic83@hallothankmas@justanothermagicalsara@janineb86 @darsynia@rhymesmenagerie @thatwelshbi @lauraashley93@darkwhisperswolf

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey ; Chapter 8 -

♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics - (TS) Slut! (1989TV!) ;  “You’re not sayin’ you’re in love with me, but you’re going to, half awake taking your chance it’s a big mistake, it might blow up in your pretty face I’m not saying do it anyway, but you’re going to”  ♡♡》》𝟙𝟠+ 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝔽𝕀ℂ! ℕ𝕆 𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕆ℝ𝕊 𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼𝔻《《♡♡ ♡ Summary: Carm + Winnie have an evening in together. They get wine drunk and have slightly spiritual talk over pizza. Winnie talks Carm through a nightmare. Carm gets some much needed rest, Some angsty sex ensues. ♡ W/C: 8,902 ♡ Posted Date: 02/20/24 ♡ A/N: (Kinda TL Don't have to read) Hayy besties!! I’ve been lookin' over the fic & judging what y'all like by the chapter likes- ok smut and Soft Dom Carm!! I’m leaning towards Soft Dom Carmy being the main trope for this fic & based on the likes y’all love it too!! He needs to build into it though for sure, Like- i'm not great at writing things close to canon- but what is canon is a pivotal part of what makes up Carmen - which is being severely emotionally underdeveloped in regards to relationships - also sexually. BUT don’t get me wrong- that man is a DOM he just needs a partner who will find that and pull it out of him. Like- y’all I am ALL for the fully anger management therapy version of Carmy tthat'swritten in to one shots here like I THIRST for it- I just want to try and flesh out the journey in between because I find it interesting. But it WILL happen in this fic- as you can tell this fic is a slow burn, its gonna be long, and I know its gonna end with Carmen being fully sexually comfortable (at least with Winnie) so expect some dirty dirty filth, carm is just growin rn okay!! I also find it fun to write kinda virgin! Carmy- I believe its canon he’s never had a gf- but I believe he’d had to have blown off steam some way in NY and hooking up on tinder since it was that time would be popular. Anyhow, enjoy this chapter!  ♡ Warnings for BTC: Minimally edited, talks of spiritualism, vomiting, talks of PTSD/Panic Attacks, Sad!Carm, Fluff, (Kinda asshole) But mostly insecure!Carm, Smut! (Talks of it- oral (m) , kissing, etc just slutty shit) 

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

The pizza had gotten there pretty quickly but considering the time of night, that was to be expected. Carmen had been sure to order Pepperoni with extra cheese per my request, and by the time the delivery driver had knocked on the door, we had already finished off my entire bottle of wine and I was in the kitchen opening another. He returns to where we had set up in the living room, putting the steaming pizza box on the coffee table. “No way- you need to finish that story, you can't just answer ‘why do you believe in angels’ with ‘I met a guy when I worked at Dunkin’ Donuts and we had breakfast every day until he died’ and that’s just… the end of the story,” he said and I laughed, coming back with 2 very full glasses of Rose and setting them down. 

“That is the whole story, you mean you want the long detailed version?” I set down the 2 paper plates and paper towel roll I was holding under my arm. “Yes.. Please- how was this man an angel?” he snorted, his face flush from the alcohol as I could easily assume mine was. “Okay… his name was Harold, he came in every day, and one day, well” I took a bite of my pizza. “Like I said - my parents, they were never married. My Mom was a twin, but her sister died when they were babies- anyhow” I took another bite, realizing he was listening intently.

“Um.. yeah..” I swallow “So, my dad like- wanted nothing to do with us really, I mean- we met him a few times but… we were just like I dunno, puppies or something? Like, my dad didn’t want us, but my mom was all religious- anyway… wait- what was I saying?” I asked and he started laughing, “Fuckin, Dunkin Donuts man, Harold?” He said and I nodded, catching my breath from laughing at my own drunk rambles. “Yess! Okay, so that's why- we had no money! And with Chris and all his appointments and everything, my mom had even less money, so when I was 14 I got a job to be able to buy stuff, so anyway, I was working a shift.” I took another bite of my pizza before a large sip of my wine.

“And the angel… flew in to buy his coffee?” he teased and I nudged him with my foot. “Shut up! He’s actually the coolest person ever just listen!” I said and he nodded, going in for his second slice of pizza. “I was working a shift, and this man comes in… he looked really sick and he was like ‘ oh can I get something to eat I don’t have any money’ or whatever so I didn’t have any money to spare obviously and so I got my manager thinking this is a huge fuckin’ company - yanno being an idiot teen - and my manager was like ‘oh sorry dude can’t help you’ and so…” I took another sip of my wine before continuing.

“I took my 4.25 that I was gonna use for lunch, I figured whatever, cause this dude needs it- he looked really sick, and that he needed to eat. and I remembered, my mom always said you do things when you can cause when the lord sends his angels to test you they aren't in a suit” I shrug and his eyebrows raised. “You gave him your lunch money?” he said and I shrugged “Mmhmm, anyway- not the point this is the point, Carm, so he leaves, right? Harold comes in, he gets his regular black coffee. Goes and sits down at one of the tables by himself, he drinks it all like he usually does, just watching- waiting almost, and before he goes to leave, he comes up to the counter, and guess what he does?” I asked and he shrugs, waiting for me to continue.

“He hands me, four fucking dollars, and twenty-five cents” I exaggerate each number and his eyes widen, “what the fuck” he muttered. “And I’m like ‘ Harold, why are you given’ me this?’ And he’s like ‘Oh I don’t know honey, I just figured you can use a pick me up today’ “ I took another bite of my pizza and he stopped chewing. “That… is fucking nuts,” he said and chuckled a bit and shook his head.

“And then, every day, we’d sit on my first break and he’d tell me stories about his life, the wars he’d been in, his daughters, his wife before she died, and when he stopped comin’ his daughter came in - she told me that he told her to tell me that he wasn’t doing well and that’s why he hadn’t been by- so I went and visited him in the hospital, got to say goodbye, he was so awesome, and he would do that sort of thing all the time- whenever someone needed something Harold was just… there ya know? It’s like God..or something sent him in at a different time every morning to help someone out even in the smallest ways, He was an angel” I said and Carm nodded, putting his plate down and finishing off his own wine. 

“Well, now that you didn’t make it sufferingly short, I see why you think that. I’d probably believe in angels too if somethin’ like that happened” He said and I dusted my hands over my empty plate before setting it down on the table. “So you’ve never had an experience like that?” He shrugged looking up while he thinks before shaking his head. 

“Nope. Maybe you’re just magical” he pokes my nose causing me to giggle. “I think you” I poke his nose back “are drunk, and we both need to go to bed. Cmon those blankets I put in the dryer went off a few minutes ago. Let's brush our teeth before they get cold” I got up and grabbed our glasses and he took the trash “At least let me help you a little” he said and I smiled. “Such the gentleman.” I teased and he followed me into the kitchen. 

I pointed to show him where the ziplocks were and put the cups in the dishwasher, taking the  box to the entryway and leaving it to bring to the recycling in the morning. “Oh uhhh…I sleep…with the um-“ I started “rain sounds?” He chuckled a bit, stretching his back. “Mmhmm…” I nodded. “So uh…is that ok?” I asked and he nods “no problem for me”

I turn around and head in the bathroom turning on the light “I assume you didn’t bring a toothbrush, or are we that close already?” I teased and he snorts. “No…I did not. Got an extra?” He asks and I open my bathroom closet “you’re in luck, Sadie’s soon to be sister in law is a dental hygienist” I pull out 2 from my thick stack Sadie had put on me when she came over since she had so many laying around her house. 

“Are you a green or blue boy?” I asked and he pouted playfully “no Spider-Man?” He jokes and I giggle. “Blue it is” I put the green one back and popped open the blue one, handing it to him and turning on the sink, wetting my pink electric toothbrush. I put on my anti-cavity toothpaste and handed it over to him, he did the same putting some on his brush. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll time you” I said and he raised his eyebrow “what?” He asked and I turned on my toothbrush, giving him a smug smile before popping the brush in my mouth. Every 30 seconds I mumbled ‘next quadrant!’ With a small smile until the 2 minutes was up, spitting my toothpaste out and brushing my tongue as he did the same before rinsing my mouth and shutting off the water. 

By the time we got in bed and shut the light off, Persephone had well found her spot between my legs, purring softly as she groomed herself for the night and I opened my phone, going to tik tok. Carm spoons me from behind, nuzzling his face in my shoulder with his arm wrapped around my waist. “What’re we watchin’ babe?” He mumbled and I smile. 

“My nightly dose of giggles” I said and scrolled down my for you page, stopping on a video from ‘Secret Brittany’ and my eyes locking on the screen. 

Okay guys, lock in alright? This is the plan - the military planning for the next 2-4 months of my life 

Carm lets out a snort in to my neck, his hand traveling up and down my ribs as he watches with me. 

I’m not going to move to Ireland- yet. I’m going to purchase bumble premium in Ireland, and I’m going to march with Irish men who want me - caveat, they want me, then, I’m going to move, and live my faerie dream 

I giggled, “me” I said quietly to myself and he pinches my waist gently causing me to giggle more “you?! You’re not goin’ anywhere I dunno’ what you’re talkin’ about” he held me tighter, nuzzling his nose deeper in to the crook of my neck. “Is someone whiny and jealous? I’m sure with my red hair and thick hips I’d have guys lining up for me” I teased and laced my fingers with his. 

He let out a bratty huff “I know that’s why you aren’t allowed to go” he muttered into my skin, causing me to smirk as I scrolled on to the next nonsense video. I gasped as I realized I had forgotten about getting to the next part of my absurd series about some woman divorcing her lying husband and looked up her account and Carm leans in a little closer. 

“Wait…” he muttered softly as I scroll through, trying to find the last video I left on. “Who the fuck did I marry…52 parts Winnie?!” He snorts and I giggle “Carmen- shut up, shhh your brain. Get engrossed.” I said and went all the way back to the first part and I glance down at him. 

“You know I’ve watched 23 parts but I’ll rewatch- cause you have to see this, and know-“ I lean in so our foreheads were touching and giggle a bit. “I’m scared” he said playfully causing me to laugh more. “Know Carmen -whatever your middle name is- Berzatto, I will always sniff out a lie- I will do my diligence- hear me?” I huff a laugh and he kisses my lips tenderly. 

“I would never dream of lying to you” he said honestly before continuing. “I may not tell you everything at once, but I’ll never misguide you, yeah?” He said softly and gently cups the back of my head with his warm hand. I nodded softly against him. “Yeah…” I whisper and kiss his forehead. “My middle names Anthony” he said with a small smile. “Mines - basic. Ok, Now listen to this bullshit” I giggle a bit and turn back around, hitting play. 

It was about 3 parts (30 minutes) of Carmen softly gasping, playing with the hem of my shirt in anticipation, and humming in confusion before I heard the first snore come from his lips. I hit pause on the video, putting on my rain asmr sounds on Spotify and gently plugged my phone in, setting my alarms before drifting off into a peaceful, relaxed sleep. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..

I woke up to the sounds of violent retching in my bathroom, I rubbed my eyes, confused for a moment before remembering that Carmen had slept over. I padded out to the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing my brita jug, before opening my cabinet and grabbing one of the many different glasses that fit a bamboo lid and glass straw, this certain one adorned with cherries. I gently pushed the cup under the ice dispenser, letting a few cubes drop in before filling the cup with chilled water. 

I pushed the lid and straw on, popping the Brita back in the fridge before padding back to the bathroom, where I heard dry heaving from outside the slightly cracked door. “Carmy?” I mutter softly, pushing the door further open to see him crouched over the toilet, elbows supporting him as he gagged over the bowl. 

“S-sorry.” He muttered, coughing a bit before sitting up and trying to catch his breath. “No- no. Carmen, don’t apologize” I knelt down next to him, gently rubbing his back. “I’m not feeling sick.. so was it a nightmare?” I asked softly, extending the water to him. He sat back on the floor, extending his legs in front of him and sighing deeply. 

“I really didn’t mean t’wake you, Winnie. It’s fine…really they happen like every night” he mumbled, taking the glass from my hands. “I have them too! It’s ok, it's ok. S’just a bad dream” I said softly and gently brushed his curls off his forehead that were damp with sweat. He takes a big few gulps of water from the straw, sighing relieved before leaning back and resting on the cold tub. 

“Did you…did you wanna talk about it?” I sat next to him, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my cheek on my knee, glancing at him through the moonlight coming through the window. It was hard to see him without my glasses or contacts, but his striking blue eyes were still impossible to miss. “It’s…” he looked at his hands, holding the glass. “Stupid” he said finally. “So..so stupid. I used to..” he sighs, his head dropping back and eyes squeezing back in thought. 

“Throw up?” He said like a question, shaking his head quickly. “Like” he looked at me “before I’d…see my boss” in the dim light I could still see his cheeks reddening. I bit my lip gently, leaning over and hugging him silently, my head resting on his chest. “I’m sorry” I said softly and he sighed, setting his water glass down and curling his arm around my frame, rubbing gently. “No.. no that’s not- don’t feel bad” he said softly, his thumb rubbing soothing strokes in to the middle of my back. 

I gently shook my head against his chest. “Carmen…” I said softly. “This… this monster…” I said softly and looked up at him, cupping his cheek honestly. “He makes you sick Carmen…what…what he did to you- whatever he did…he creates a panic response in you, baby.” I rub my thumb along the stubble of his jaw that was already peaking out before first light. 

He swallows thickly, drinking in every word I was saying. “He…he…” I look at the floor, trying to find my words. “He instilled that voice in you” I said, my lip quivering slightly and he put his thumb to my lips gently to stop the motion. “What? What voice, honey?” He asked softly. 

I giggled into his finger, still slightly wine-drunk. “Your inner-saboteur. Just like Ru-Paul says” I gently nibble his finger, causing him to really laugh. “My inner-saboteur” he repeated with a smile. “Yes” I said gently and kissed his forehead. “Let him go, Carm, fuck that guy! Fuck your inner-saboteur. I’m still a tad bit drunk, but c’mon- brush your nasty throw-up teeth” I said teasingly and giggle, resting my forehead on his and gazing into his icy blue eyes. 

“And come back to bed, I’ll introduce you to Drag Race tomorrow”  I said softly, pecking his lips tenderly. “Okay?” I gaze into his eyes, looking for agreement. “Okay…” he said softly, a smirk adorning his lips. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..

I wake up to the feeling of Persephone jetting off my right thigh like an Olympic-launching pad at the sound of my alarm going off, soothing chirping birds filling the bedroom from my hatch alarm clock Sadie’s Parents had gotten me as a housewarming gift. I groan softly at the reverberating pain in my thigh muscle from her sudden attack, reaching down and soothing the ache with a slow rub from my hand. 

Carmen was draped around me, his arm tucked protectively around my waist and his prominent nose nuzzled in my neck, the feeling of short, hot breaths hitting my shoulder at an even pace. I gently leaned over, tapping the top of the clock that was slowly getting brighter, so it stopped its cry of awakening, 

I rubbed my face tiredly before I gently pried Carmys sleeping fingers off of my waist, slowly getting up off of the mattress, so as to not wake him. My t-shirt brushed just below my lower cheeks, goosebumps crawling up my legs from the chilly apartment air. I nuzzled my feet into my pink bear-claw slippers, and quietly shuffled out to the kitchen, silently pulling the bedroom door shut behind me.

 I sighed tiredly, stretching my back and arms just at the end of the hall, moaning softly at the blood rushing to my muscles at the action. “Mmhmm” I mumbled at Sephy hungry cries, scratching my scalp in a sleepy haze. 

“Comin’ babygirl” I muttered softly, shuffling out to the kitchen and opening the cabinet, I pulled out a tin full of wet food and cracked it open with my forefinger, taking out a spoon from the drawer. She meowed impatiently, causing my tired eyes to roll up involuntarily.

“Persephone” I muttered, tired but stern. “Jesus Christ should I call ASPCA?” I joked, taking a spoon out of the draw and nudging it closed with my hip quickly before spooning half the can in the bowl and chopping it up half-hazardly, before setting it on the floor with a clink. She dove in, eating like she’d been starved. 

I put a pod in my Nespresso machine, and rested my chin in my hand as my latte brewed, scrolling through my ‘For You’ page, sending a few videos to Sadie that made me stifle a laugh so as to not wake Carm. I opened my fridge, pouring some half and half in to my cup that I’d already filled with ice before pouring my espresso over the top and mixing it up before sealing the lid. 

I shuffled over to the couch, sitting down and continuing to scroll through videos as I sipped my latte. By the time I’d finished it, Persephone was sitting on the cat tree grooming herself in the morning light and the clock read 8:32. I got up, going over to my record player and shuffled through my selection of records, settling on Ctrl by SZA that Syd had gotten me. I bit my lip gently, thinking of her. 

I really hope she wasn’t mad at me…for too long. Thinking back on the conversations she had with us about her ‘boss’ who I now knew was Carm, he could be a serious asshole and he…emotionally led her on in a way? And they never explicitly mentioned their feelings but it sounds like there definitely was feelings..My thoughts are broken by the static of the record as it switches to the next song and Love Galore starts playing. 

I did my usual routine of walking around, pulling open my blinds to let the light in before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. I washed Sephys bowl and set it on the small drying rack before setting a pan on the stove to heat. I opened the fridge, resting my hands on my hips, and realizing I have no idea what Carmen eats- if he eats breakfast. It’s a Saturday though…I settle on the safe options of eggs and toast. 

I popped 4 pieces of bread into the toaster, humming along to Doves in The Wind while I cracked 4 eggs into a glass measuring cup and whisking them with a fork. I added a little bit of garlic salt and pepper, mixing it again before dropping some butter in the pan and letting it melt. I got out 2 of my pink heart shaped plates and set them down in preparation, before pouring the eggs in the pan. It was quick to scramble so I put the toaster down, and I was shuffling over to the table just as the bedroom door opened. 

Carm genuinely looked refreshed. The bags under his eyes were mostly gone, and his eyes didn’t look red and exhausted. I look over at the clock, 9:22. “Good Morning, Chef. I hope scrambled eggs and butter toast is acceptable? With jelly of course” I went over, clicking off my record player that had stopped spinning a few minutes prior.  “You made breakfast?” He asked, looking over to the table. 

It took all of my strength to keep a casual face at his deep, husky morning voice. “Mmhmm!” I hum and come back to the table and he followed. “Coffee?” I ask and he nods “thank you- wow. I can’t remember the last time I.. actually ate in the morning. What time?-“ he looks over to the stove and his eyebrows raise. “Shit.” He snorts. “I guess your bed was comfortable” he sits. 

I smirk proudly “well I’m glad you’ve enjoyed your stay so far at Winnie’s bed and breakfast” I said and went to the kitchen, opening my cabinet and smiling wide at the perfect mug for him to use. I set it down on the counter, “cream?” I asked opening the fridge. “Yes, What are you cheesin’ about?” He teased and I giggle “somethin’ - just wait” I took out the cream and set it on the counter and popped in an americano pod. 

“Oh! Forks! Sorry. Forgot my meds this morning. Let me go do that” he chuckles as I quickly shuffled off. I go in to the bathroom and took my medications with a handful of sink water before coming back and seeing his coffee was done. “Perfect!” I took it out, putting cream in. “Sugar?” I asked and he shook his head “no” he said and I stirred the coffee, putting the spoon in the sink. 

I carefully come over, covering the art on the mug until I set it down in front of him with a giggle. “A Bear mug for Bear and it has a cute, true saying, ‘A hug a day keeps the lonelies away’ “ I giggled. “See that one’s me,” I point to the smaller one, “and that’s you,” I pointed to the bigger one “cause’ you give teddy-bear hugs” I smiled. He looks up at me, his blue eyes sparkling in the morning light, an adorable smirk on his face. 

“You…” he starts and shakes his head, pulling me into his lap and I giggle, wrapping my arms around his neck loosely to steady myself. He kisses all over my face, causing giggles to involuntarily fall from my lips and my eyes to squeeze shut at the quick short pecks that tickled like butterflies, my heart fluttering the same way in my chest. “Are so fucking cute” he hugs me close and I giggled, wrapping my arms around him. 

“Thank you” he kissed my neck sweetly before releasing me and I got up. “Wow, an ambush, I do take payment in kisses but warn me so I can count!” I joked, sitting down in my seat and he rolled his eyes playfully, a pink blush adorning his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. “Forks!” I said and he laughed, shaking his head again. 

“Does that happen all the time?” He asked and I nod, heading over to the drawer and grabbing 2 forks. “Yup. It’s worse if I don’t have my meds” I put his fork in front of him. “Hope it’s ok” I said and sit down “no- this is…this is great Winnie, thank you really” he said taking a bite and nodding. “5 stars Chef” he said and I laughed before taking a bite of mine. 

“Mmhmm totally I’m coming for your spot! Better get worried these eggs’ll put you out of business” I joked and he snorted, taking a sip of his coffee. “Mm- I think Starbucks should be a little scared” he teased and I giggle a bit, nibbling on my toast. “That’s all Nespresso that thing is amazing” 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..

When we finished breakfast, Carm takes our plates and his mug over to the sink and starts washing them, along with the pan I’d used. “Wow…he cooks and cleans? You sure you aren’t taken already?” I joked, wiping down the table with a Lysol wipe. He chuckled “nope, haven’t gotten any serious offers” he joked back with a smile. 

“Did you wanna see my little library craft room thing?” I asked, throwing the wipe away in the garbage. He puts the now clean dishes on the drying rack. “Course, what do you…craft?” He asked, following me to the second bedroom and I opened the door. “Oh..lots of things. I sew,crochet,read, make jewelry, I paint sometimes” I shrugged and he looked around at all the half finished projects. 

“This is cute” he hummed, picking up a half finished star and moon granny square blanket off the back of my pink desk chair. “Oh! That’s for Syd’s birthday!! She’s such an astrology girl, it's one of those things we can talk about forever.” I smiled and he nods a bit. “Why haven’t you ever come around more? The uh- the restaurant” He asked as he looked over the intricate stitches and I shrugged, picking up stray crochet needles scattered on my desk and putting them in the little drawer where they belonged. 

“Oh.. well Sadie and I - it’s kinda fancy for one thing, and umm..we don’t like people and it’s been busy for months “ I laugh a bit “fancy huh?” He teased, setting the blanket back down and walking over to the wall of pictures I had next to my overflowing bookshelf. “It has been pretty busy” he said as he gazed over the different memories of girls trips Sadie and I had taken as well as pictures of nights out with Syd. 

“Also as you can probably tell- Sadie and I do not belong in a cool fancy place like that” I giggled and he shook his head rolling his eyes playfully with a smile. “I don’t either but it’s what brings the business right?” He looked over the books. “Damn, you read a lot” he said and I giggled. “Mmhmm! Work at a bookstore” I said and he pulled one of my most well loved books out, “this one of your slutty books?” He teased and I roll my eyes. 

“Ha.ha. No- this is an amazing book, you’re saying you’ve never read this book?” I took it from his hands. “My brother gave it to me” I said and flipped to the second blank page where ‘From Chris To Twinnie’ was scribbled in his chicken scratch handwriting. His eyebrows raised. “Oh…no- no. Never heard of it.” He said and my jaw dropped. “Never heard of The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane” I scoff a big smile coming to my face. 

“Okay, so, now I see” I nod, holding the book to my chest with a teasing smirk on my face. “See what?” He asked “I see why you…I dunno” I shrug. “Don’t like to have fun “ I poke his chest and he scoffs. “I have fun I am totally fun!! Are you saying I’m boring?” He asks, slightly offended and I laugh. “No! I’m saying that… the whole point of this book is that life, our journey to self discovery is useless if you have no intention of loving or being loved.” He raised his eyebrows before starting to laugh. 

“A rabbit said that?” He questioned and I shook my head “no he learned it. C’mon let me do skincare on you and read it you’ll love it” I said and he blushed a bit. “Why do I have bad skin?” He joked with a teasing smile. “No you have nice skin but let me take care of it” I said and led him to the bathroom by his hand, getting out my face wash “wash your face with this” I said and turned the water on warm, and grabbed a clean face towel from the cabinet with embroidered strawberries on the hem. “dry your face with this” I instructed. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·...·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..

I gently put on the sparkly under eye patches under Carm’s eyes and he scrunched his nose adorably. “The fuckin’ hell why do you do this” he muttered “feels like a slug” he said causing me to giggle “oh my god such a boy. This will make your pretty blue eyes much more noticeable without all the darkness from never sleeping” I gently smoothed them out, booping his nose with the tip of my finger when I was done. 

“Mm whatever you say this is Winnie’s Salon after all” he says and I tut “no! This is Winnie’s beauty parlor. I'm not cutting your hair today” I said and his eyes fluttered open, looking up at me with a small smile. “They look pretty on you” he said, causing me to blush. “You’re a big flirt” I gently played with his hair and his eyes fluttered back shut, humming softly in satisfaction. “Did you want me to read to you?” I asked and his smile grew. 

“Please. It’s been a long time actually, I’m excited to hear about this rabbit” he said and I grab the book from next to us, opening to the first page and starting. 

“Chapter One” 

By the end of the first page, he was glancing up at me, watching me speak each word and smiling slightly when I did slightly different voices for each character. At the end of the first chapter, I close the book and he pouts a bit. “What? No keep going, that was getting cute…she loves that bunny” he said and I giggle. “Yes she does, if you want to hear the next chapter you have to come see me again. Plus, I’m getting hungry” 

I peeled his eye patches off, gently rubbing in the remnants with my ring fingers and he smiled softly. “Mm…you cook breakfast, pamper me, and read to me? I think this is my new hang-out spot for Saturdays” he jokes and I giggle a bit. “Good, so next Saturday you’ll get to see what happens in the next chapter.” I said and he sat up, sitting against the headboard next to me. 

“Sounds like a steal for me” he smiled adorably, his skin still glowing from the serum I’d applied. I looked at his lips, then back at his eyes before straddling his hips and kissing him deeply. He hesitantly moves his hands to my hips and rubs with his thumbs gently. I kiss down his jaw over his stubble to his neck, nipping gently and he groans softly “Winnie” he said, gripping my hip a bit tighter. I gently tug on his ear with my teeth. “I think it’s hot you’re such a talented chef and like when I cook for you” I said softly in his ear, gently tangling his curls in my fingers as I continue to kiss and nip his neck. 

I grind my hips on his and he moaned softly “Winnie.” He said softly, moving his hand to my back “I-i…” he swallowed thickly and I stopped, sitting up and looking at him. “What? Did I..did I do something wrong?” I asked. He shook his head, refusing to meet my eyes. “I-I don’t…we shouldn’t” he rubs over his chin, thinking. 

“Do you…regret last night?” I asked, getting off his lap and sitting crisscross beside him on the bed. He shook his head again “no- god no that was fuckin’ amazing Winnie I-“ he blushed, looking down at his lap. “I’ve uh never…” he cleared his throat, his eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment. “I- I’m surprised I lasted that long with you- a-and…I’ve never done that before..what we did in the shower and I’m still- I’m thinkin’ about it” he swallowed thickly, finally looking at me and I nodded slowly. 

“Okay…I think we should talk more about our sexual experiences” I said and bit my lip. His face goes pale, his mouth opening and closing a few times like he was trying to find the words. “Uh- I” he stuttered. “I’ll go first…what uh- what do you wanna know?” I asked casually and play with the hem of my shirt. “Uh- well..that’s- I don’t… I don’t know a lot” he said quietly, clearly embarrassed by the way his eyes darted away from mine again. 

“Okay so…how about this then. I’ve slept with 24 people, including you. But most of the bulk of those were back home, I’ve slept with you and one other person since I’ve been here, how many have you been with?” I asked and his eyes widen. “Twenty four?” He repeats, his mouth dropping slightly. I scoff “what so guys can sleep with 100 women by the time their 24 but I can’t sleep with 2 people a year over the course of nearly 10 years?!” I asked my tone laced with annoyance. 

He shook his head quickly “no-n-no Winnie no…I’ve….ive slept with less then 8 people…I’ve had sex like…maybe…” he took a deep breath, looking away and swallowing thickly “I don’t- I don’t like this game anymore or- or questions. Or whatever” he said his cheeks going red. I bite back a laugh at the irony of him being so insecure by holding my tongue between my teeth and I gently touch his bicep. “Look at me” I said softly and he shook his head inching away from my touch a bit. 

“Carmen. When I said no one has made me cum like that- I mean it. I was fully seeing stars bro I was shaking Carm.” I laughed and he looked over, eyebrows raising. “You really meant that?” He asked and I roll my eyes playfully. “I wasn’t even gonna fuck you a second ago I was gonna suck your dick because I’m sore. Literally yes you’re amazing Carmen you’re so fucking hot.” I said and he bit his lip, looking at his lap. 

“But I can’t…like- when…when we were in the shower” he muttered “that was-“ he swallowed thickly “I’ve never…I’ve never had sex in the shower before and-“ he sighs deeply. “I don’t want to get attached.” He looks at me finally, and I was silent for a moment, my brain filing through all the possible things he could mean. I settled on the safest response that would have the least possible chance of rejection. “Like- you don’t want tooo…” I questioned and he raised his eyebrows waiting for me to continue. 

“To get attatched to fucking me on your days off?” I question and he rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “Winnie” he muttered, slightly annoyed. “That’s not what I mean Y’know that” he said and I bit my lip. “Tell me what you mean then, Carmen” I said and he looked up at me. He stared at me for what felt like forever, studying me, my features, I tried my best to decipher what was going on behind his eyes but only a week of knowing each other I was rolling blanks. 

“I don’t want to get attached to this. Winnie, to you. I don’t want to do this, we can’t do this.” He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest and the small change in body language felt like an ocean of distance was suddenly created between us emotionally. My mouth suddenly felt dry, and my throat was growing an enormous lump. “Why” I finally choke out and he looks back at me. “Because I told you, Winnie, I’m not boyfriend material. What this” he motions between the 2 of us “Is, can’t keep going like this. Fuckin’ cuddling and shit..” 

I felt like I wanted to burst out into tears, not more than 20 minutes ago he was dreamily looking up at me while I read to him and now he was telling me that he won’t allow himself to be around me, and relax. “Oh” I scoff, my eyes narrowing and crossing my arms over my own chest. 

“You are such a little baby,” I said and his eyebrows furrow, “what?” He asked. “A little fucking. Baby.” I repeat myself and he blinks a few times, “What the fuck do you mean?” He asked and I got up. “You are an angry baby, because you realize that I have more experience in the bedroom!” I laugh dryly. “Carmen. You knew what you were getting yourself into. You want this. Look at me, and tell me the last fucking time you relaxed on your day off? Hm?” I raise my eyebrows, shrugging and waiting for an answer. 

“You don’t fucking know me, Winnie” he scoffs. “I don’t- I don’t give a fuck that you have more experience than I do. Clearly, it wasn’t with anyone good! Per your fuckin statement 5 minutes ago.” I shook my head. “You’re right! You’re right Carmen. I was begging for your cock- and you wanna know something? You loved it. You were pussy drunk, Carmen, you- you are just so fucking obsessed with depriving yourself of joy, of pleasure that instead of allowing yourself to fuck me you’d rather be in your apartment all alone and cum in your hand? Fine. Have fun” I shrugged, motioning to the bedroom door. 

He sat there, jaw dropped. “You-“ he closed his eyes in shock, shaking his head as he digested what I just said to him. “You are so-“ he sighed, looking at me and his eyes flicker to my chest. I smirk, “fuck. Im gonna fucking hate myself this week. C’mere” he said and I knelt on the bed, straddling him once more and kissing him deeply. I pushed him back on the bed roughly. “Tell me you don’t want me” I said and peel off my shirt, exposing my breasts and already peaked nipples shining with their little black studs, already hardened due the adrenaline coursing through me. 

“Fuck off Winnie you know I fucking want you” he grabs my breast, playing with my nipple gently and I bit my lip. “I haven’t even showed you half of what I can do- and you’re gonna throw the towel so soon?” I rest my palms on his shoulders for leverage as I ground into his hips, the friction causing his eyes to flutter shut and his head to fall back onto the pillow in a low whimper. 

“N-no- no you’re right. You’re right Winnie fuck” he moaned, gently tugging at my jewelry causing me to gasp in pleasure. I kiss him hard, circling my hips into his at a torturously slow pace causing him to whimper and groan into my mouth which made a small smile come to my lips. I pulled away slightly, our lips barely an inch away. 

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” My eyes flutter to his, my hips completely still. His breath quivers “yes” he said barely above a whisper. “Tell me, say it, Carmy. What do you want?” I ask and kiss his neck tenderly. “I-I want you t-to” he swallows thickly when I nip at the tender spot below his ear. “I want you to suck my cock” he said, eyes fluttering shut and cheeks going red. I smirk, happy with the admission, but still unsatisfied with the way he was denying himself. 

“Okay baby, since you asked so nice, like such a good boy” I said, his lip tugging between his teeth and

I kissed down his chest, his abs tightening when I made my way over them, my tongue dragging slowly down the divot in the middle. He watches me with hooded eyes, hands gripping the sheets so tightly his knuckles were turning white, his chest raising up and down deeply at a quick rate as he watches me worship him. 

I straddle his calves, gently rubbing his fully hardened length through his sweatpants and he whines softly “please-please Winnie” he breathed impatiently. I smirked, my hands rubbing long teasing strokes up and down his thighs. “Do you really want me to suck your cock, Carmen?” I asked and he swallows thickly. “Winnie” he wined, looking away and his cheeks heating. 

I stopped touching him and my hands raised to my breasts, gently palming and squeezing them before playing with my hard nipples and my head dropping back as I moaned. “You don’t want me, baby?” I asked and his hand traveled to his pants and I stopped him, grabbing his wrist. “Do you want me Carmen?” I asked, taking his hand and putting his forefinger and ring finger in my mouth, my tongue swirling around them and hollowing my cheeks at the base of his hand. 

He bit his lip harshly as I did so. “So so fucking bad.” He said softly, I pulled off his fingers with a ‘pop’ and tugged him out of his boxers, leaning down and spitting the puddle of saliva I had collected in my mouth while sucking on his fingers and pump his length with the wetness, twisting and getting it all wet. “Holy fucking shit” he mumbled, a moan falling from his lips and his head falling back momentarily but he was quick to put his eyes back on me. 

“Does that feel good baby?” I ask sweetly, my thumb brushing over his tip. He nods “shit- yes s-so good baby” his abs clenched in pleasure as I slowly dragged my thumb over his slit teasingly. “Mmm the noises you make are so sexy baby I love it” my other hand dances around his stomach, my nails brushing the toned skin causing him to shiver slightly. 

“Oh you adorable thing” I said and leaned down, kissing his tip gently and his head drops back, a breathy moan falling from his lips, his knee jerking slightly under me. I stuck out my tongue, slowly licking his tip from the back of my throat all the way to the tip of my tongue, flicking it teasingly causing him to whimper beautifully. “You have such a nice cock baby” I praised, pumping him slowly, twisting my hand how I knew he liked based on the way his stomach would tense when I did it repeatedly. 

I look up at him, his cheeks, bright red, curls stuck to his forehead in sweat, “do you like it when I tug harder” I did so and he whines “or softer?” I went back to my original firmness and he breathed out, I could tell no one had really ever given him this kind of attention during a blow job before- so I was relishing in the fact that no matter if he did claim to hate himself this week, every time he came after a long day it would be at the thought of me. So I’m pulling out every stop, every theatric - I’m going to make this magical. 

I was already fucking him dumb and I had barely used my mouth yet. We had a lot of work to do, to mold him into the kind of partner I knew he yearned to be. And whether we continued to pretend to be ‘friends with benefits’ while he learned, or he decided he wanted more- I didn’t care. Because I knew this man wanted to dominate, and I was dedicated to getting it out of him. 

When I got no verbal response my hand stopped moving and I gently tap the head of his cock against my tongue getting his attention. “Words.” I said softly, smiling sweetly as I waited for a response. “Hard. H-hard. Please.” He said and I continued as he requested and he grunts “fuck yes…mmm twist baby like-“ he moans louder when I oblige. “Yes. Yes.” he breathed and I smirked, moving my hand faster. 

“Good boy, I love it when you tell me what feels good” I said and my hand that was on his stomach travels to his v-line, my forefinger soothingly stroking as I took his tip in my mouth, he lets out the hottest noise between a moan and a cry that I’d heard a man make, before I heard the sounds of the fabric beginning to give beneath his death grip. I pulled my lips off and stopped my hand from jacking him off, taking my hand off his stomach and pulling my hair out of the bun it was in. 

His eyes shot open as soon as I stopped, a small gasp tumbling from his lips as my tight curly bangs fell over my forehead, when they were blown out they were the 80s look I loved to achieve with my hair- but my bangs were extra curly naturally since they weren’t weighed down like the rest of my hair and I’d gotten it wet last night. I pushed it off my shoulders, taking his hand and putting it on my head. “Go as hard as you want. I’ll squeeze you twice if it’s too much.” I said and started again before he could reply. 

He whined hotly as I took him down inch by inch until he was lightly hitting the back of my throat, he was mostly just stroking the back of my head but when he felt me swallow around his tip it was like something in him flicked on. He grips the back of my hair “f-fuck- god do that again- fuck do it again Winnie” he said, pushing my head down gently. I closed my eyes, saying a silent and quick prayer to every god ever that I’d fully digested my breakfast, and that my gag reflex had gotten much better since trying to train it with my toothbrush before bed the past few years. 

I took a deep breath, before fully relaxing my throat and pushing his tip past my tastebuds and I gently stroke his thighs, more to soothe myself that I could do it, before pushing deeper. He cries out, moaning what sounded more like a pleasured growl, his fingers tugging my hair lightly. I knew I had to stop pushing before I either hurt myself or actually gag and embarrass myself. I swallowed around him slowly, my throat fluttering around him for a few moments. 

I feel his muscles all tense beneath me, his abs tightened, stomach clenched, fingers digging into my scalp, eyes screwed shut, veins protruding in his neck. He would be cumming in the next few seconds so - I stopped. I pull off, sitting up, a string of saliva pulling from his cock to my lips as I did so. My lips swollen, jaw sore, chin and neck slick with saliva. I smirked as he gasps, his orgasm flowing away like dandelion seeds in the breeze and he looked at me, his pupils blown with lust. 

“W-why. Why did you stop?” He asked, he almost sounded angry. I shrug, “do you deserve to cum, Carm? You you deserve to feel good?” My fingers dance around his stomach and v line causing goosebumps to appear on his skin and his cock twitches, aching to be touched. “Please Winnie, fucking- let me finish” he grumbled, looking at the ceiling. 

“Let you” I scoff. “Do you even think you deserve that. Carmen? Hm? Put enough hours in this week? Plan enough new catering orders?” I taunt, goading him into showing me any thread of dominance in him I could tug on. He looks at me, his eyes darkening “suck my fucking cock. Winnie.” he ordered and I smirk. “Ooo, making demands now, I only serve those who deserve it” I drag my forefinger from his balls to his tip, smiling at the reaction of his stomach clenching and cock jumping in a twitch. 

“I deserve it” he grumbled, not meeting my eyes. “Hm?” I hum, ghosting my hand around his cock but not gripping it. “I said I fucking deserve it” he looks into my eyes as he said it. I lean down taking him back in my mouth and he sighs in relief, I pump the bottom half of his length as I take him back into my throat. It was barely 2 minutes of him spilling profanity, muttering my name, whines and moans, and only swallowing around him 2 times before I felt him fully tense up again, and an enormous load shot down the back of my throat, so much that I had to swallow 2 times after pulling off of him to get it all down.  

“Holy shit” I laugh taking a deep breath and he was laid there, trying to catch his breath “sorry” he said between breaths, eyes blissfully shut and cheeks flushed as well as his chest from his release. “No its…it’s fine just. Holy shit. You just dumped a generation down my throat” I joked and he laughs lightly.  

I quickly fix his boxers and laid next to him after pulling my shirt back on. “How the fuck did you do that?” He asked and I shrug a bit, pushing my hair behind my shoulders. “Dunno. Just tried it. Glad you like it though. How’d it feel?” I asked and he blushed, averting my gaze shyly. “Uh…” he furrows his eyebrows thinking. “Kinda like…your pussy but … like way tighter, and harder if that makes sense.” He looked back at me and I giggle. 

“Hm…ok. It was kinda cool, also really hot, also pretty freaky- when I went to wipe my chin, my hand touched my throat and I felt your dick like…” I giggle, covering my mouth at his shocked expression. “Holy fuck that’s hot” he said and I nod. “Felt weird. I’ll have you feel it next time” I said and yawned a bit, sitting up. 

“I’m gonna brush my teeth then you wanna nap?” I asked and he nodded “I’m not sure why- we’ve done basically nothing but I’m exhausted.” He said and rubs his face. I shrugged, “just your body catching up while it can on rest. I’ll be back.” I said and padded off to the bathroom. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

[sssammich]

day 24: enchanted

listen sctober is a state of mind ok?

crepe AU: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 day 19: hazy, day 22: art, day 24: enchanted, day 30: magic

if you'd rather read this oneshot on ao3

---

“If you attend this party, we won’t bother you for a month.” Sam, one of Lena’s best friends and roommates, announces as she perches herself on the coffee table in front of Lena who is sitting on her favorite corner of the couch. 

“Leave me out of this,” Andrea, Lena’s other best friend and roommate, says from the other end of the couch. 

Sam only shakes her head before focusing her attention back to Lena. “This will be good for you.” 

She arches a brow. “You don’t know what’s good for me.” 

“Mmm, babe. Be for real. As your best and most trusted friend, I only want what’s best for you.” 

They both turn when they hear a scoff from the other side of the room. 

“Sam,” Lena starts. “Let’s not pretend that you’re not a liar and a scammer and, most likely, a thief.” 

Affronted, Sam’s jaw drops and stares at Lena before swinging her sights on Andrea who’s sitting at the corner of the sofa not bothering to glance away from the magazine she’s reading. “Don’t look at me, this is between you two.” 

“Come on. You’re literally always at work.” 

“Because it’s literally my job.” 

Sam tries again. “It’s a housewarming party that’s open to everyone, you don’t even have to bring anything.” 

“Who invites strangers to a housewarming party?” 

Sam rolls her eyes. “First of all, I’m your one regular friend who didn’t go to the rich sad girl boarding school with princessa over there so I know a thing or two about making friends with people. Secondly, since I’m friends with them, they said I could bring my friends. Third, and most important of all, I’m doing this for your own good.” 

“And what good is that?” 

Sam smiles, her face stretching wide and Lena realizes all too late that she’s fallen trap from something so simple and elementary. She knows Lillian is just rolling in her grave wondering if Lena learned anything at all from her. 

“Well, I’m so glad you asked.” 

From the corner of her eyes, she catches Andrea shaking her head. 

“You’ve inherited the worst hand imaginable having a mass murdering egomaniac for a brother who forced this company on you. Which, by the way, you have slaved over for the better part of the last year. It’s time that you just take a breather, and this is it. Stay thirty minutes just to say you’ve talked to someone not directly employed by you or someone you tip when they hand you your takeout.” 

It never stops the sting from Sam’s words when she lays out the truth of Lena’s life. So she purses her lips and stays quiet for a while, a fool’s charade, until she eventually groans her acquiescence. 

Triumphantly, Sam smiles, and places a soft chaste kiss on the top of her head. “Lena Luthor, the woman that you are.” 

“Shut up.” 

Sam scurries out of the room and Lena takes a deep breath. 

“You should’ve just said yes the first time, then you could’ve saved yourself the trouble of the last two minutes.” 

It’s her turn to roll her eyes. “Where’s the fun in that?” 

Andrea lazily turns the page of her magazine. “Masochist.” 

—

Lena’s not a sucker. And definitely doesn’t think she’s one, but how she got swindled into forking over a crisp $20 bill to the woman across from her makes her rethink that, perhaps, she might not be as sharp as she believes she is. 

“Now, I want you to know I’m not a psychic,” Kelly, the woman, tells her. 

“But you are more than happy to pocket my money for this party trick.” 

Kelly shrugs, her toothy grin appearing far too amused. “Girl’s gotta make a living, you know.” 

Lena arches her brow, expectant. “Go ahead, then.” 

The other woman tilts her head and smiles, then she waves her hand in front of a crystal ball. Lena has half a mind to snort at this half-hearted performance. “You’ve been dealt a bad hand, Lena Luthor, but all I’m seeing is a very bright future for you.” 

This time, she does snort, unable to hide her reaction. “Inheriting the family business because your brother turned murderous lunatic isn’t exactly what I’d call bright.” 

Kelly continues moving her hand over the crystal ball before she lets her fingernails carefully tap the top of it, a pleasant tink sound as she does so. “You’ll come across some interesting situations that will make you rethink your old ways.” 

She narrows her eyes, observing the other woman from across from her. She doesn’t believe in psychics or witchcraft or magic or any of the sort because anything can be explained with science. But the way that Kelly doesn’t shy away from meeting her gaze makes a flicker of doubt enter Lena’s mind that maybe Kelly knows something she doesn’t. 

The other woman pulls back and folds her hands on top of each other as they rest on her lap. 

“Finally, you’ll be enchanted by someone you least expect.” 

Silence sits between them, Kelly’s eyes anticipating Lena’s next move. Which turns out to be Lena simply opening her mouth and hurling the first words that come to mind. 

“Bullshit. That's it? That’s what I paid you twenty bucks for?”

Yet Kelly only shrugs again, a laugh on her face as she makes a show of pocketing the twenty dollar bill from the table between them and shoving it in her bra. “Have a little faith.” 

She huffs. “I’ll believe it when I see it.” 

—

Lena moves on to a different area of the house, providing other guests the opportunity to fall trap into Kelly’s overpriced psychic readings. Who even holds a psychic reading at a housewarming party? 

Regardless of her own thoughts and feelings on the matter, Lena can’t help but respect the woman’s hustle, a kind of softness and gentleness in the way she presents herself, enough to lure unsuspecting guests to fork over their money to be told things they already know.  

She passes the throng of other houseguests and arrives in the kitchen, making a beeline for the kitchen island-turned-bar and uncorks one of the red wines before pouring herself a healthy glass. She takes a few sips here and there and wonders what’s a reasonable time to leave this party. Andrea and Sam managed to wrench her away from her desk for a night, so she’s willing to consider this night a loss for her and a win for them. But she doesn’t need to suffer needlessly in the torment of a house party. 

She grabs her phone and sends her friends a message letting them know that she’s leaving in ten minutes regardless of their impending protests before silencing her phone and shoving it in her back pocket. She takes another sip and peruses the cheese spreads on the other counter when she hears a car pull up right outside of the kitchen windows. She doesn’t quite see who’s out there, but she continues to hear movement, car doors slamming, and then faint footsteps approaching the back door.

Lena hears the thud against the back door then the ineffectual wriggling of the old door knob. Another thud comes through and Lena decides to help preserve this person’s dignity by opening the door for them. 

Now, Lena expects to help some poor soul relegated to grunt duty to come through that door, seeing as they were the one who was sent out to buy god knows what. What she doesn’t expect, however, is the finest piece of ass Lena has ever seen holding a crate full of liquor in one arm and a stack of six pizzas in the other. How this woman’s blonde hair is pulled in a ponytail, her glasses slightly skewed on her face, yet the blue of her eyes are still so readily apparent even in the evening light.

“Um, can I get through?” 

It takes Lena another couple of seconds to jump into action, pulling herself and the door back to make way for the woman who breezily dumps all the things she’s carrying on an empty spot of the already filled counters of the kitchen. 

Lena watches with curious eyes as the woman sighs out in relief when she puts all the stuff down on the counter, brushing her forehead with her forearm before resting her hands on her hips, surveying the goods that she’s just brought. When this woman does this, Lena can see how the tight faded red shirt she’s wearing stretches underneath her back muscles. She doesn’t want to say that her eyes widened in surprise, but she also doesn’t want to say that they didn’t.

Instead, Lena elects to stay quiet and shut the door closed in what she hopes is a quiet click, but is more of a medium volume thud that catches the woman’s attention, turning her around and showcasing her broad shoulders. 

“Oh! Shoot, I didn’t even realize…that…you…” the woman tapers off, her mouth slanting into confusion then awed wonder until she stops talking altogether. 

“Me…?” Lena says, urging the woman. 

“...yeah. I didn’t—um, I didn’t realize you were still behind me.” 

“Well. Here I am.” 

The woman nudges her glasses up. “Yes, right. And who am I speaking with?” 

“Lena. And you are?” 

The woman smiles. “Kara.” 

She accepts the offered hand between them, more than happy to feel the weight of the woman’s hand in hers: sturdy, warm. She smiles, tilting her head slightly and is endeared by the matching one on Kara’s face. 

“So how do you know the homeowner?” she asks, by way of making conversation, their clasped hands slowly, unfortunately, pulling apart from each other. 

Kara chuckles. “You’re looking right at her.” 

“So this is your house?” 

“That’s right! 

“Who invites strangers to their housewarming party?” 

“Who attends a stranger’s housewarming party?” 

She opens her mouth but no smart retort comes out. She’s thankful that neither of her best friends are around to witness this fish-out-of-water flailing that she’s currently doing. “I guess you have a point.” 

“Well, you’re here now, so might as well have fun, huh?” 

“I was just leaving, actually,” she blurts out.

“Oh, that’s a bummer. Can I entice you with a couple slices of pizza and maybe a little bit of small talk before you go?” 

“Sor—sure,” she says, course-correcting from an apology to an acceptance, surprising herself. It seems to surprise Kara a little, too. “Yeah, why not. One slice.” 

“Yeah?” Kara’s eyes are patient, as if expecting Lena to turn her down. But Lena wants to prove this woman wrong, so she nods. Delighted by her reassurance, Kara quickly opens the top box and quickly pulls a large slice, the melted cheese stretching, before placing it on a paper plate before handing it to her. Wordlessly, she accepts even as her eyes continue to watch as Kara piles on three slices on her own plate. 

In the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by bottles of alcohol and the delicious waft of pizza just nearby, Lena thinks maybe she’ll stay an extra ten minutes past the time she texted her friends. 

It would be rude to leave so soon, now that she’s met the homeowner, right? 

—

Surprising herself, instead of going home like Lena had planned, she ends up holing herself in a corner of the house talking with Kara. They’re in the den just off to the side of the kitchen overlooking the backyard. They take either ends of the sofa right underneath the window, the moonlight shining through the windows even as Kara flips the switch of the lamp just by where she’s sitting. They’re surrounded by boxes piled up on top of each other, a small little retreat of their own. Laughter and commotion can be heard from other parts of the house, the music softly playing somewhere. But they’re secluded in this room, muffling out the rest of the world. 

“Sorry for the mess. It’s taking a little longer to unpack this spot. Hope here is cool?”

“Is this some kind of second living room?” she asks as she scans the room despite the boxes in the way. 

“Nah. This is my office. Or will be once I clean up a bit more.” 

“What do you do?” 

“I dabble in a little bit of everything. Mostly oil-based paintings, and I write sometimes.” 

“An artist, then?” she asks aloud after taking a bite of her slice of pizza. Her eyes scan the room again, this time making note of the words on the boxes. She even finds a folded easel in the far corner. It takes her a second to get a response with Kara taking a healthy bite out of three stacked pizza slices. 

“Some might say.” 

“Are you any good?” She prods, though she makes sure that her voice is teasing, light.

“Some might say that, too,” Kara responds easily, flashing her an easy smile just as she takes a sip of her beer. “I can show you sometime or something. If you want, that is. No pressure.” 

Maybe it’s the pizza or the alcohol or maybe it’s neither of those things and it’s just Kara sitting in front of her looking beautiful and handsome and easygoing and lovely but Lena finds herself smiling and nodding before she’s even aware she’s doing it. 

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” 

—

Lena’s not sure how long she’s sat on the sofa talking about things other than work and laughing at silly jokes and puns and stories and simply spending time with Kara, but she knows that the ten minutes she promised herself has long passed. The pizza is all gone, and the two bottles of wine that Kara swiped from the kitchen is all but gone, too. 

But one minute they’re laughing and tipsily enjoying their time together, and the next, she’s lazily opening her eyes as she registers how she’s being held inside a cocoon of warmth. She takes quick stock of herself, feeling warmth behind her. Then, she finds a strong arm is protectively crossed over her chest while her own arms wrap around it, as if nuzzling into it. 

Instead of panic at being constricted and finding herself in the arms of a stranger, Lena discovers that she is not opposed to this hold, to the heat she feels behind her, around her. She takes a deep breath, and dares to snuggle back, the protective arm around her tightening its hold on her somewhat. She feels a warm breath tickle her nape, but the thought only thrills her knowing that it’s Kara with her. 

This is not a thing she has ever done in all of her life, but her thoughts sleepily flit through familiar words: 

interesting situations…rethink…old ways…

Lena shuts her eyes and lets sleep overtake her once more. 

—

The morning light rudely wakes her; the brightness of the light disturbing her peace as it washes over her face. She shuts her eyes further despite not once opening them, and she instantly turns her head to nuzzle into whatever source of darkness is closest to her. 

Groaning, she turns in place until she finds what she’s looking for. She tucks her arms further into her chest and lets the reprieve of darkness above her protect her from the bright light. 

She feels the vibrating rumble in front of her, laughter belatedly traveling into her ears. With a huff, she realizes it’s Kara laughing at her, even as she maintains the engulfing hold she has of Lena in her arms. 

“Stop laughing,” she demands sternly even as the words come out mumbled and she finds her head completely pressed against the crook of Kara’s neck. She resists the urge to breathe in deep and alight her senses with Kara’s scent of faint body soap and sweat and laundry detergent. 

“Okay, I’ll stop.” 

But Kara doesn’t, and Lena snakes her hand away from her chest to blindly pinch at Kara’s side. 

“Hey!” Kara is laughing harder now, even as she maintains her protective hold of Lena. “Violence is not the answer!”  

“It’s self-defense,” Lena grumbles, continuing to pinch Kara on the sides until Kara’s hand grabs hold of her wrist to stop her. She attempts to wrestle out of Kara’s grasp, her eyes now open even as she still squints from the brightness in the room, joy spreading inside of her when she sees Kara’s look so beautiful and disheveled first thing in the morning. 

“I call a truce,” Kara offers finally, bringing Lena’s hand back down between them. Lena doesn’t miss the way Kara’s other hand, the one that’s safely guarded her from falling off the edge of the couch, is spread open against her back and gently caressing her. 

“I suppose I’ll allow it.” 

“Thank you, your honor.” 

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, but when she looks back at Kara, she can only see bright open skies and promise in them, and Lena thinks she’d like to maybe go outside for a walk or to the beach or to the fields where she can have a picnic maybe. 

Shaking her head of her wandering thoughts, she matches Kara’s easy smile. 

“Good morning,” Kara says, voice gentle and soft, reverent. 

“Good morning.” 

“How’re you feeling?” 

How is Lena feeling? She doesn’t know, truthfully. She has no idea how to navigate a time where she chats up a stranger and spends the night without having sex. Or to feel so familiar with someone she’d just met. Or want the urge to spend all her waking moments with someone whose only crime is an easygoing smile directed at her. 

“Good.” 

Kara smiles at her. 

“How’d you sleep?” 

Never better. She’ll be sore later. The safest she’s ever felt. Her shoulder tingles from where she’s laid on it too long. 

“Good.” 

Kara’s smile widens. 

“I…don’t—this normally doesn’t happen.” 

She quirks a brow. “You don’t normally spend the night spooning a stranger on your couch?” 

“No, I don’t.” 

She can’t help the smirk that appears on her face. “So you’re saying I’m your first?” 

Kara shakes her head, a small laugh escaping her lips. “Oh, you sound like you’re gonna be trouble.” 

Her? Trouble? She’s the one who’s being held lovingly in the arms of someone who could probably bench press her and not think twice about it. Who has been nothing but kind and wonderful and goofy and funny and sweet to Lena Luthor, sister of the deranged arsonist who has tarnished their family legacy and forced Lena to raise it back up from the ashes. 

“I think if there’s anybody who’s gonna be trouble, it’s you.” 

Lena watches as Kara’s attention alternates between her eyes and her lips. Not wanting to second guess herself or wonder what ifs, Lena surges forward and closes the distance between them. 

The kiss is soft, though their lips are a little chapped from all their drinking last night. She grabs a fistful of Kara’s shirt in her hand as Kara tightens her hold of Lena. Her other hand travels to the back of Kara’s neck, pulling her down and closer because Lena can’t get enough. Now that she knows how this feels, how Kara tastes—even first thing in the morning, she doesn’t want to let go, not even to breathe. 

Soon, they separate because she’s still only human. Their breaths are a little ragged, but there’s a bright smile on Kara’s lips and she just knows there’s one on hers mirroring it.

“I didn’t expect you,” Lena admits, vulnerable and excited and cautious and relieved. 

“Nobody ever does.” 

Kara brings her head back down and the two continue languidly kissing one another, savoring the feel of lips slotting perfectly against lips. 

—

One month later

“You set me up.” Lena sits down on the same spot in the living room of Alex and Kara’s house that she sat in at the housewarming party, sitting directly in front of Kelly. 

It’s been a whirlwind of a month for Lena, most surprising of all is Kara’s presence in her life. For one, she’s now dating Kara, far too surprised at the speed in which things moved along between them. For another, she’s had to endure (and continues to endure) the incessant and merciless teasing from both Sam and Andrea, especially when she came home the next day with rumpled clothes and a hickey on her neck. Lastly, even though it’s been a month, Lena’s circle of friends somehow doubled, with Alex and Kelly’s frequent appearance because of Kara. 

So here she is, wanting to lay blame at the woman who so conned her into the life she now leads. 

“Set you up?” 

“All the psychic crystal ball bullshit.” 

Understanding washes over the other woman and she smiles, the softness and gentleness of it irking Lena. “Ah.” 

“You’re not really a psychic.” 

“Well, I never claimed I was. You believed what you wanted to believe, I just nudged you into some…suggestions.”

“One of which was to get with your girlfriend’s sister.” 

Kelly laughs. “You’re too generous to give me credit. I’ll tell you what you wanna know, all you need to do is ask.” 

“Did you put Kara up to this?” 

At the mention of Lena’s now girlfriend, the one who she’s been seeing for the last month they both turn to the line that is Alex and Kara as they hold their large Chinese takeout order for the group, with Sam and Andrea in tow holding up their drinks and the chocolate pie they bought on a whim.

Yet Before Kara fully goes to the kitchen, she turns her head and flashes a smile towards Lena. 

“Come on you two, dinner’s ready,” she says.  

Kelly gets up and waits for Lena who slowly rises to her feet. She then allows for the other woman to wrap her arm around Lena’s shoulder as the two walk side by side towards the kitchen where they can hear the sisters bickering about Kara taking a bite of a potsticker before even laying everything else out. 

“Why bother when she took one look at you and fell in love?” 

“You owe me a twenty,” she says gruffly, not meaning every word. Kelly quickly releases her shoulder when Kara detours from her task of getting their plates and walks over and kisses Lena because she can and wants to and Lena thinks she’s happy to give Kara anything she ever desires on this Earth.

“God, you two are disgusting,” Sam quips. 

Alex pipes up. “Keep it PG, please.” 

Sam and Alex give each other high fives, Andrea rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Kara only waves them off behind her and gives Lena a peck on the nose before hurrying back to her task. 

Kelly leans over. “You really think I had anything to do with that?” 

Her cheeks redden, yet her sights remain on Kara. “Fine. You can keep the twenty.” 

Kelly only laughs.

[thebdsmsofurlife]

Masturbation Instructions[M][f][D/s][JOI][orgasm control]

Hey there my little horny slut. Looks like you’re having a bit of trouble sleeping. *laughs* Now remind me, how many days have you been in my blog? Your helpless whimpering desperation sounds like you so frantically want to get off and touch yourself. But you can’t, because you need my permission. Daddy’s little slut needs control and discipline. You need someone to command you in order to feel the most satisfying sense of release. Isn’t that right? Hmmm, I don’t know, you don’t sound like you need it that much. Start begging. Tell Daddy how much you need to touch, how much you desperatelyyyy need the slightest pleasurable sensation on your greedy, wet, useless pussy. Beg harder! Try to really convince me your need as your pussy pulsates for attention. Say, “Please Daddy, this horny slut needs Daddy’s permission to touch her useless, needy pussy.” Again… and again… one more time… Hmmm, fine, maybe I’ll show you a bit of mercy and kindlyyy allow you to touch.

Now get into your favorite masturbation position, whether you enjoy lying down or sitting in a chair, using your fingers, a toy, or rubbing on a pillow. Take a deep breath and relax for me. Good girl! How about let’s start slow and softly, rub in slow circles for me and follow the speed of my soothing voice. Round, round, round, round... Continue at the same speed and pressure as I give the next instructions. Next, I want you to rub up and down your slit. Up, down, up, down, up….. down…. STOP! *laughs* I love watching you squirm around when you get denied of complete touch. Now continue rubbing, putting a bit more pressure on your greedy pussy. Go round, round, round, round, round (a bit faster here). That must feel good huh? I think it has been a while since your pussy last felt something this pleasurable. You are such a good girl for listening to Daddy’s each and every command. Now give that touch a bit more pressure and go faster: round, round, round, round, round… STOP! Your pussy clenches and your body tenses, trying to control yourself from further pleasure. You are intoxicated with the thought of following my each and every instruction, not daring to ever disobey. You really are a good girl and have come so far in our training. Alright, continue touching at your own desired pace and pressure. Ahhh that must feel REALLY good doesn’t it? Don’t you love edging solely for Daddy’s pleasure and entertainment? Answer me. Be an obedient little slut and say, “yes, Daddy.” Good girl!

Now I’m going to start counting down for you. Remember, try to get to the edge and most importantly, STAY on the edge. When you get too close, stop completely or slow down. Resume at your desired pace when you lose your edge. If you are truly a skilled, horny girl for Daddy, you will continue to edge and hold that edge as you rub. DO NOT cum before I say so because I know you are an obedient slut and there will be consequences. You only get to cum when I say so, you understand? Now beg me to start counting down for you. Tell me how desperate you already are, maybe already on the edge for me. *laughs* You really have been in denial for a little while, haven’t you? Maybe tonight is the night!

Alright, 30…

29… Oh what’s wrong? You were expecting me to count from 10 *laughs* You thought this was meant to be easy for you? Daddy wants to see how well he has trained his slut.

28…

27…

26…

25…

24…

23…

22…

21…

20…

19… Daddy loves the idea of you being an owned, helpless, and worthless slut. Not even able to own your own orgasms. Your whole body is for me to be used and abused. You cannot make any decision of your own, all of your pleasure belongs to me… Now remind me where was I? Maybe we should start over…

60…

59… *laugh* Oh did I didn’t start at 60 last time? I’m sorry, you know Daddy has a poor memory.

58…

57…

56…

55…

54…

53…

52…

51…

50…

59…

58… Oh wait did I start over? *laughs* I’m sorry, that’s kind of embarrassing, huh? I love how closely you pay attention to my each, and every count, begging me to go faster and realizing my little mistakes. I love watching you squirm in your own bed or in your seat, trying to do everything in your own control to not cum. DON’T YOU DARE CUM. YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION, do you understand? Now where was I?

57…

56…

55…

54…

53…

52…

51…

50…

49…

48…

47… DO NOT CUM. STAY ON THE EDGE FOR ME, SLUT

46…

45…

44…

43…

42…

41…

40…

39… You love being an obedient slut for Daddy. Listen to me. Each, individual command should be intoxicating for you. I bet without my daily instructions, you would just cum every day. Isn’t that a bit reckless? Keeping you in denial ensures your obedience and loyalty to me. I love seeing how horny you get after weeks without release.

38…

37…

36…

35…

34…

33…

32…

31…

30… You are such a good girl for Daddy. It must feel so good to be feeling this much pleasure and staying on the edge for me. This is the greatest amount of pleasure you have been able to receive in weeks. Don’t you love it?

29…

28…

27… Oh we are getting pretty close!

26…

25…

24… Any day now, you will soon get permission to cum!

23…

22…

21...

20… Is tonight the night you are finally able to cum for Daddy? I love watching my eager slut rubbing for Daddy so desperately.

19…

18…

17…

16… You probably should start begging if you really want release. Daddy can easily take this all away from you. Let me hear a bit of gratitude from my little horny slut.

15… Good girl!

14…

13…

12…

11…

10… *really slow down here*

9…

8… Oh, you want me to count faster? *laughs* But I enjoy watching you struggle soooo much! This truly is so enjoyable for me to completely control my little girl

7… Have you gotten yourself to the edge yet?

6… hmmmm, I wonder how many times you have edged for Daddy…

5… Come on, get close for me and please me.

4… DO NOT CUM, listen to me and stay obedient!

3… You must be sooo close, HOLD IT

2… We are sooo close to getting your orgasm!

NOW STOP. STOP TOUCHING NOW. HANDS OFF AND LIFT YOUR PUSSY OFF ANYTHING YOU WERE GRINDING. *laugh* Did you really think you were going to get your release tonight, silly girl? You still have at least a week before Daddy even considers giving you an orgasm. Now hopefully that edging was enough to tire you out. Tsk tsk tsk, It looks like it’s already past your bedtime. Now hurry up and go to bed. You need all the rest you can get tonight to continue a new day of service tomorrow. Good night my horny slut!

[lovelytsunoda]

santa stole my girlfriend // callum ilott

summary: his childhood best friend is back home for the holidays. they've always been close, and so many people have assumed they were a couple. but they're not. they were only ever just friends. so why does callum hate her new boyfriend so much?

pairing: callum ilott x female! reader

warnings: cheating (but we're gonna overlook it because it means callum gets a happy ending), the fact that the boyfriend's name is topper should be warning enough. implied smut, forced proximity, a couple top gun references because who would i be if i didn't?

CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND. CHRISTMAS MORNING

she was too warm, it was the first thing she noticed. but the sheets that were wound so tightly around her body weren’t made of soft warm flannel.

they were cotton.

they weren’t her sheets. this couldn’t be her bed.

she pinched the bridge if her nose, listening for the telltale hum of the radiator in her childhood bedroom. but she couldn’t find it.

this wasn’t her room.

her head was throbbing, the way it only ever did when she’d had vodka. the roof of her mouth felt like cotton, and her limbs felt heavy.

the sleeve of a long shirt was pulled over her hand when she sat up, head in her hands, the pudge of her stomach pressing against the sheet that was tightly wound around her.

the shirt smelled odd. almost like cologne.

and it wasn’t the cologne that topper wore, and this was not toppers shirt.

she cursed, the mere motion making her head scream in pain as she clutched her temples, nails digging into her skin. she didn’t know where she was, but her legs ached the way they did after she and topper spent a day in the sheets.

oh god.

had she cheated on her doting boyfriend?

she was such an awful person.

he was going to leave her.

her life was over, she had just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to her.

she turned her head, and when she saw the body lying next to her, her morning bleariness ebbed away, and she remembered what she’d done the night before. how transformative the night had been.

she had slept with callum ilott, his porcelain skin shining under the morning light as he fingers caressed his spine. she’d wanted to sleep with him since she was seventeen and he was eighteen.

the timing had never been right, they had always ever just been friends.

until Christmas Eve, 2023.

CAMBRIDGE ENGLAND. CHRISTMAS EVE, 20 HOURS BEFORE THE INCIDENT THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED.

only douchebags choose to be known by the name ‘topper’. or at least, that was what callum thought as he watched topper and y/n in her family’s kitchen, giggling to each other and exchanging soft kisses over a plate of raw gingerbread.

its not that topper was a bad guy. he treated her well, and was a genuinely decent guy for a man that wore polo shirts and bvlgari cologne. oh, and did callum mention that he worked at the london stock exchange? well, he should have, because topper couldn’t go 24 hours without mentioning it.

by all accounts, he was a lovely guy. but there was a bad feeling in callum’s gut whenever he saw the two of them together.

which was odd, because he hasn’t wanted to kiss y/n y/l/n since he was fifteen.

“callum, can you get the case of sparkling water from the cold room? top and I have to help mum in the kitchen.” y/n’s voice was like a swan song as she smiled at callum.

they had grown up with each other, the two youngest kids on the block (at least, until you hit the three month olds, who all seemed to have been scarily born around he same time) and they seemed to have been drawn to each other. awkwardly enough, a skinny, socially awkward gp3 driving callum had been her first kiss when they were in secondary school.

“yeah, no worries. do you want me to check for cranberry sauce while I’m down there? I know your grandmother can’t eat Christmas dinner without them.”

“yes, please!” she gushed, shooing topper out of the way so she could wrestle the oven open. “I almost forgot, and you know what nan’s like. if I have to run and get some, I’d rather it be now than on Christmas Day.”

callum politely excuses himself from the marble kitchen, fucking into the hallway and down the large spiral staircase to the basement. the cold room was exactly as it sounded: a cold concrete room lined in metal shelves. a glorified pantry, and not quite a fridge.

he slipped into the adidas flip flops that had been left in front of the doorway, pulling the chain in the middle of the ceiling to turn in the singular light bulb.

he hated himself.

why couldn’t he just be happy for her?

why did he find himself awake at night thinking about how perfect her thighs looked in those tight flared jeans she wore out in Indiana when she came to watch him run the 500. or the surge of something in his heart when she’d pretended to be his girlfriend so that santino would leave her alone.

why did he get hot and bothered thinking about her laugh when he was taking a cold shower?

she was happy with topper for god’s sake, and he should be happy for her.

because they were friends.

“fuck!”

what was he doing? he should be happy for her.

so why wasn't he? and thats how he found himself reaching for the case of sparkling water, before he took the last remaining can of cranberry suace and hiding it inside a cardboard box full of granola bars.

he had no idea why he did it, to be fair.

back in the kitchen, he put the case of water on the island, waving y/n over. "hey, there's no cranberry sauce downstairs. i can run out and get some, if you want."

y/n sighed, clearly annoyed. "shit, yeah. can i come with? i need to get out of this fucking house before i lose my mind, and the weather outside is terrible, i can't let you drive in it alone."

"will topper be fine here alone?" callum raised an eyebrow. "it's unlike you to leave someone else in charge of christmas cookies."

"oh, shut up! my dad's in the garage, topper can call for help if he needs it. he's a grown man.'

"great!" callum chirped, reaching for his car keys. "let's take my car. the g-wagon has better snow clearance than your kia."

"um, my kia soul is a great fucking car, thank you very much!"

CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND. CHRISTMAS MORNING

it felt so wrong to feel so content, in bed with her best friend. topper must have called her so many times last night, so why did she never answer him?

oh yeah, because she was too busy crying callum's name as he made her see stars. she settled back into the bed, burrowing under the covers and resting her cold nose on his shoulder. callum's angel eyes fluttered open, his nimble fingers coming to caress her skin.

"you're real." he mumbled, eyes still half shut. "you're actually here, last night actually happened."

despite it all, she felt a wave of calmness wash over her as she linked her hand with callum's, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

"that it did. if the ache between my thighs is any indication." her voice was raspy and dry, not sexy like his was.

"how much do you remember."

uh, wow. where to start? she remembered callum's lips on her throat, his warm fingers on her breasts. the way she screamed his name as she clenched around him, his lips meeting hers in a sloppy kiss, her fingernails scarping the muscles on and around his shoulder blades.

"all the best parts." she settled with, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"so you don't remember top gunning me in the bar?"

she closed her eyes, trying to hide her face as she remembered what she did. "oh god, i was hoping you'd say that was a bad dream!"

callum laughed, sending her stomach into a spiral. "you kidding? i thought it was sexy."

CAMBRIDGE ENGLAND. CHRISTMAS EVE, 15 HOURS BEFORE THE INCIDENT THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED.

the g-wagon might have had good snow clearance, but neither of them counted on the blizzard that they'd run into after they left the cambridge morrisons, the expensive car getting buried snugly under a snowdrift.

"we were inside for half a bloody hour!" she whined. it was supposed to be quickly in and out, and then back to the house. but of course, trying to buy cranberry sauce on christmas eve was damn near impossible, and they'd had to try multiple grocers before the morrisons finally had two cans left.

"i'm sure it will let up." callum tried to soothe her, resisting the urge to run a hand up and down her back.

only topper was allowed to do that now.

there was a pub across the street, and they did the only thing that made sense at the time, ducking in for a drink. the bar was packed, and patrons were being advised to book room upstairs in the bed and breakfast since the storm was just supposed to get worse.

"and we were all dreaming of a white christmas." the barmaid scoffed, setting the drinks down in front of them. "we've got plenty of room if you need it. i doubt that g-wagon of yours is going anywhere any time soon."

the pub was a cozy place, very old-fashioned with a grand wooden piano in the corner and floral wallpaper above the wainscotting. a flat screen above the slow-burning fireplace played a rerun of the previous champion's league season, assuming that most patrons had been too drunk to remember the original game, or realize that the game was a replay.

a group of middle age drunkards who were likely divorced and only had each other to spend christmas with (harsh, callum knows) sat around the piano as the middle one slammed his fingers down on the keys, the entire group belting out 'great balls of fire'.

"oh god." she sighed. "i fucking loved that movie."

"past tense?" callum raised an eyebrow "please, we all know 'top gun' is still your favourite."

"topper won't watch it with me." she sighed, taking a sip of her drink. "he gets self conscious during the volleyball scene. or any of the shower scenes."

"now that's just stupid." now, with half a drink in his veins, something in callum's brain told him now was the time to be brutally honest with his best friend. how badly could it go? "what, is he jealous to tom cruise or something?"

she laughed, running a hand through his hair. "worse. val kilmer. as if i'd leave topper for tom fucking kazansky or something. top is such a sweetie, and he makes me feel so calm. but sometimes he really gets on my fucking nerves."

callum chuckled, tapping his fingers against his pint glass "but you don't even like guys like iceman. you go for the golden retrievers. like goose."

"shut up." she laughed. "top knows he's not super built in the chest and it makes him self conscious, so when he sees me drooling over val kilmer's abs, it gives him a complex. but even val kilmer doesn't look like val kilmer any more. thats just how life geos."

"you know val kilmer had throat cancer, right?"

"that's not the point here, callum." she shook her head. "you know the scene where meg ryan throws herself at anthony edwards and proclaims to the world 'goose you big stud, take me to bed or leave me forever'? i tried that on topper and he looked at me like i'd grown a second head!"

and now, despite his best efforts, all he could picture in his head was his best friend in black lingerie, reciting that every same top gun line while she held on to the lapels of his shirt. although, this was less goose and carol and more kelly mcgillis and tom cruise. yeah, you know the scene.

he was going to hell, and he couldn't even find the energy to be upset about it.

the men at the piano were still singing, launching into the song a second time as if they hadn't already played it twice. against her better judgment, y/n found herself singing along, belting out the words as if it was second nature.

and despite his own good judgment, callum was so taken by the sight that he couldn't resist dragging her to her feet, throwing an arm around her shoulder as they both sang the chorus.

"goodness gracious, great balls of fire!"

it was like something in the air had shifted when she looked over at callum, a twinkle in her eyes as she bit her tongue, appreciating the way he filled out his black cable knit, dark jeans hugging his lower half.

god, she'd wanted this forever.

she'll never know why she did it, digging her fingers into his sweater and tilting her head to look up at him, the words on the tip of her tongue.

"callum, you big stud. take me to bed or lose me forever."

and he did, scooping her up in his arms, and checking three or four times to make sure she was really sober enough to want this. and once she confirmed that the one vodka she'd downed wasn't enough to make her do anything stupid (well, more stupid than cheating on her boyfriend) and that she still had the proper capacity to consent, and thought callum had about being a gentleman and offering to sleep on the floor was out the window.

CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND. CHRISTMAS MORNING

they lay in silence, thinking about everything that had happened the night before, watching the small motes of dust fall from the ceiling fan, lit up by the light shining through the lace curtains.

the scary thing was that she didn't feel any regret. and she knew that was wrong, because she had literally just cheated on topper with the man she'd been in love with since she was sixteen and knew what love was.

yeah, she felt guilty about hurting topper, because he was such a good man, but he wasn't the man for her. callum was.

"where do we go from here?" she heard her voice crack, and prayed that callum couldn't hear the tremble in her words.

"hey, hey, look at me." callum soothed, rubbing circles on the inside of her wrist. "i know you must be thinking that you're an awful person. but matters of the heart are fucked, trust me, i know firsthand. and if we hadn't been so pigheaded, maybe you never even would have met topper, and we would have been together already. but i promise you, we can sort this out."

"what do i tell top?"

"we can figure that out later. but right now? we're going to dig my truck out of the snow, drive home, and make cranberry sauce for your nan."

she leaned over, kissing him softly, the ends of her mouth curving up into a smile. "i don't know what i'd do without you, callum. i need you."

"i know, sweetheart. i need you too, that's why i stuck around, innit?"

"shut up." she giggled, gently hitting his chest. "otherwise i might take you to bed again."

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @httpiastri @thatsdemko @libraryofloveletters @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck

PEOPLE WHO REBLOGGED THE ORIGINAL INDYCAR DRIVERS AS ROMANCE TROPES POST

@acrosstobear @firestoneslicks @alexanderossis

[verai-marcel]

Your Hearth Is My Home (BG3 Fanfic, Astarion x Female Reader, Part 24 of 28)

Summary, Notes, Tags, & Part 1 are here.

Act I - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

Act II - Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | 

Act III - Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 (18+) | Part 28 (END)

AO3 Link is here, my sweet.

Word Count: 4,380

Act III, Chapter 3 - The Torment

The next morning started off like any other. However, you were surprised when Wyll, Karlach, and Jaheira came back in the late afternoon with a tall, muscular, and bald man with a small rodent on his shoulder. Karlach and Wyll were following the other two with expressions of awe.

I wonder if he’s an associate of Jaheira’s… that would explain why Karlach and Wyll are fawning so hard.

The man saw you and grinned broadly, waving cheerfully at you. Your seal pulsed strongly in return.

Who exactly is this man?

Coming up to the group, you smiled warmly. “Welcome back, everyone. Who’s our new friend?”

“I am Minsc!” Then he held out his hand for the little rodent to hop onto his palm and held him out to you. “And this is Boo, the mighty miniature giant space hamster.”

When the hamster looked at you, your seal pulsed again, sending heat waves through your blood. You looked back up at Minsc, and the power ebbed away.

What. No way. It was the hamster that is the powerful one here?

Boo chittered, and while everyone else was looking at the creature, you noticed that Minsc was listening intently as if he understood every little squeak.

“Oh, yes, of course,” he mumbled. Then he gingerly brought Boo back to his shoulder. “Boo is looking forward to sampling your fine dishes and to hear your singing. Karlach and Wyll have been praising your talents!”

You blinked. “Um, alright, I’ll do my best,” you said, directing your reply to the little hamster. Looking into its eyes, you suspected you saw understanding, and even more, satisfaction.

Welp, that was strange.

You learned from the others that the underground guild in the city and Jaheira had made a deal: she got help finding Minsc, and in exchange, they had chased the Zhentarim out of the city. You breathed a sigh of relief.

So I didn’t need to worry about them after all. Thank the gods. Or rather, thank Jaheira.

Karlach patted your back. “I’m relieved. One crime group is enough for this city, hah!”

You laughed, hiding your nerves. “Yup, good riddance.” And now they’ll never know.

Leading the others to the campfire, you served them some drinks and some snacks and listened to them regaling you with their adventure, which had taken them all across the city, even to the deepest bank vaults. They had even found Mol and a couple other tiefling children in the Guild, running their business, and doing quite well for themselves.

“Oh good, I’d like to go back to the other tiefling children and let them know Mol is safe,” you said.

“I can do it,” Karlach said with a smile. “I’m sure Wyll would want to see them again too.”

Wyll nodded, and you caught his soft look as he watched Karlach.

Oh ho, his love grows.

After their story, you rooted around through the pile of loot for any extra bedrolls or fabric to make a tent for the newcomer. Just as you had managed to find enough rags to weave together, you heard the alarm bells on your belt chime softly.

Turning toward the entrance, the others had arrived looking a bit worn out. As they joined the group at the campfire, Shadowheart relayed what had happened.

“We literally went to hell and back. But now Lae’zel has a way to free Orpheus.”

The githyanki nodded with a slight smirk. Oh, she’s quite pleased.

“And we may have a change of accommodations,” Gale said. “The Elfsong has an upper floor penthouse available if we wish to use it, for a discounted fee.”

“Are there enough beds for everyone?” you asked, sweeping your hand towards everyone, including Shadowheart’s parents, Isobel, and Aylin, who were hanging back, listening in.

“Plenty of beds,” Gale replied.

“And why the discount?” you questioned. Inns don’t give discounts unless…

“There might have been a murder on that floor, and that might be scaring off the guests.”

Everyone looked at Gale.

“Look, just because one person died there doesn’t mean we should stay out in the open for the remainder of our time here.”

After some thought, the group began to mumble agreement.

Wait. Then that means…

“So you won’t be needing me any further,” you quietly said.

All eyes turned to you.

“Well, of course we need you, darling.” Astarion walked up to you and patted your head. “You still have to feed me.” He gestured towards everyone else. “And these fools couldn’t clean worth a damn.”

You glanced at everyone else, who were mostly shrugging sheepishly.

“And who’s going to take care of the giant pile of souvenirs that Karlach and Astarion keep pilfering?” Wyll joked.

“Some of those are from you too!” Karlach shot back, lightly shoving Wyll, who only laughed.

“The point is, you’re part of the team,” Gale said softly. “We need you just as much as anyone else.”

You turned back to Astarion, who nodded and took your hand, holding it gently, his thumb rubbing circles over your knuckles. Leaning closer, he whispered in your ear, “Besides, you promised you would stay with me, didn’t you?”

You nodded.

“Good girl,” he murmured before pulling back. Turning to everyone else, he shot them all a triumphant grin. “So, shall we upgrade our accommodations?”

***

By the time you all had finished packing and moving everyone’s things out of the harbor and to the Elfsong, the sun had just dipped below the horizon. Yet the tavern was already loud and lively, full of music and drinkers. Gale went to the front desk and paid for the new lodgings, holding up a key triumphantly to everyone before leading the group upstairs.

“Probably best if I keep a low profile. They used to know me all too well in here,” Astarion muttered to you as he helped take the packs up the stairs, attempting to blend in with the others. You watched his back as he went up the stairs, walking closely to the floating disc as it hovered behind Gale. Your eyes wandered down the line of Astarion’s body, down his back, his hips, his—

Gods, what am I doing?

You shook your head and re-focused on the back of his head, but he had already caught you staring, as he looked back at you with a knowing smirk.

“Admire all you like, darling.”

You immediately looked away and huffed.

His sly grin stayed on his face throughout the rest of the unpacking.

***

Since you didn’t need to cast warming cantrips any longer, you could spend your time sorting the loot pile and going out to the market to sell whatever you could, and buying fresh groceries. You were actually excited to see what kind of fresh vegetables and herbs you could get, now that you were in a large city.

“You’re sounding happy,” Shadowheart said as she approached, kneeling down next to you while you polished some of the tarnished jewelry with a rag.

You stopped humming and smiled up at her. “Well, I can finally catch up on some inventory management,” you said, pointing at the rather large pile of knick knacks and herbs. “You lot seem to have sticky fingers.”

“It’s how I grew up,” Karlach said as she joined the two of you, sitting cross legged on the other side of you. “Take everything of value and sort it out later for pocket change.”

You nodded. “That’s fair. I just haven’t had much of a chance to go through it all lately, and it seems like everyday you come back with more.”

Gale suddenly came up and tapped Shadowheart’s shoulder. With one look, her eyebrows furrowed and she got up. 

“We’re going to plan our next trip into the Undercity. We’ll probably need to split up if we want to stop the murders and find where Orin is hiding.”

You nodded and watched as everyone gathered around the table in the main sitting room on the upper level. Remaining in the lower area near the fireplace, you continued to sort through everything, catching bits and pieces of their conversation.

“...have to find where the Bhaalspawn…”

“...Orin’s base might be…”

You finished sorting what you could, and pulled together all the random coins you had found. There was a significant amount, so you didn’t feel bad about ordering room service tonight.

“I’m going downstairs to order us a meal to be brought up, are there any requests?”

***

As you came downstairs with a long piece of paper full of meal requests, you ran into a familiar face.

“Lakrissa!” you said with a bright smile.

She called your name excitedly and gave you a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“We got a room upstairs, at a discounted rate.”

“Oh, the murder room. Well, I suppose that wouldn’t bother your group much, would it?”

You laughed. “Nope, not after what they’ve seen. Oh, I need to put their supper order in.”

Lakrissa smiled and took your order for you, telling you to wait by the stairs for her while she gave it to the kitchen. When she returned, she gave you a wide grin.

“Follow me,” she said quietly as she nodded toward the back staircase. 

She snuck you up to the rooftop, where you heard a soft lute and a familiar voice.

You smiled, afraid to stop Alfira’s singing. She was swaying softly to her song, her back to you and Lakrissa, the gibbous moon shining brightly above her head. The two of you enjoyed her song until the end, applauding her just as she turned around.

The bard smiled, pleasantly surprised to see you. You hugged, and the three of you caught up on each other’s lives since the Last Light Inn.

“Would you join me for a song?” Alfira asked. “If you have time, that is.”

You turned to Lakrissa. She nodded. “You’ll have time. With the amount of orders you put in, you could sing out here for a half hour and it wouldn’t be done.”

The two of you figured out a song you both knew, and while she played and sang harmony, you took the lead, letting your voice carry on the rooftop, and letting the tingling feeling on your spine travel through your body, through your lungs, through your throat. You felt almost as if you could layer your voice if you pushed your power through yourself hard enough.

On the last lyric, you let your vibrato go longer and harder than you ever had, leaving just enough breath to end the song on a delicate sigh.

A raucous applause startled you, and you turned to see all of your companions standing behind Lakrissa, who was wearing a sly grin.

“You cheeky woman!” Alfira said to her as Lakrissa came up and placed her hand on the small of her back.

You were distracted from their cute banter by everyone else’s compliments. You shyly bowed.

“Boo says that was a most wonderful performance, rivaling the great opera singers from Waterdeep!”

You flinched involuntarily at the mention of Waterdeep, but you acted as if you didn’t. “You’re too kind,” you said with a smile. 

Lakrissa tapped your shoulder. “I can go check if your food is ready, but would you all want to eat up here? It’s a beautiful moonlit night!”

You turned to everyone else, who seemed to be enjoying themselves, catching up with Alfira and admiring the view.

“That sounds lovely.”

As she went downstairs, you spotted some tables and chairs scattered around the rooftop and had an idea. You took a deep breath and began to hum, walking to the furniture and tapping them lightly. As if they suddenly gained sentience, they hopped and began to follow you, arranging themselves into a nice group formation.

Everyone had gone silent, watching you work. You paid them no mind, singing a song about faerie lights, touching the leaves and vines around the area, making them glow orange and pink and purple. Lost in the sensation of the magic and the music flowing through your body, you spun around and swayed your arms, letting the lights glow brighter as your power pulsed against your skin.

Suddenly Astarion was standing next to you, his hand on the small of your back, pressing on your seal. He kissed your cheek and pulled you close, interrupting your song.

“I couldn’t help myself darling,” he said a bit too loudly as he dragged you away from everyone else. Karlach tried to peek, but Shadowheart shooed her and the other onlookers back to the tables to wait for their food.

Away from the crowd, Astarion whispered into your ear. “Your seal was glowing brightly through your clothes.” His hand pressed harder against your back. “Be careful.”

You looked up at him, surprised at his look of concern. “Oh. Thank you,” you murmured. It didn’t feel like burning this time, though. It felt… powerful. 

He guided you back to the tables just in time for Lakrissa and another worker to bring the trays of food for everyone. Using your party as an excuse, she stayed behind and ate with you, along with Alfira, who entertained you all with music through the rest of dinner.

It was a wonderful evening, and you treasured it.

***

The next morning, the others left, but came back within an hour to talk to Dame Aylin. You overheard something about a tower and a wizard who had put a price on her head, and she immediately charged out the doors. Isobel followed the group out to follow her.

You turned to Shadowheart’s parents. “Erm, well, I was about to go out and get groceries. I should be back soon.”

They nodded and told you that they would let the others know if they came back before you did.

Out in the city, you felt relatively safe, anonymous in the large crowds. You walked over to a jeweler and bartered away some of the found gems and trinkets for a great price, adding to your coin pouch. Heading down to the marketplace, you managed to get an excellent cut of venison from the butcher and some fresh herbs and vegetables. Holding the bag in your arms, you headed back to the Elfsong.

Halfway there, your seal pulsed. You immediately looked around.

A man, with a patch over his eye and a large sword at his side, scratched his arm, his sleeve lifting up to reveal a tattoo of a legless dragon in flight. It was a tattoo you recognized with ease.

A Zhent!

You quickly began to walk away, turning a corner beyond the Elfsong, unwilling to make the mistake of leading someone straight to your home base. Instead, you walked through the graveyard, then past the tombmaker’s shop. Just as you were rounding the corner to make a loop back home, you heard a familiar voice calling your name.

Turning around, you were met with Gale, smiling and waving his hand to you.

“Can you follow me for a moment? I have something to show you,” he said, gesturing for you to follow.

Your seal pulsed with a stinging heat.

“Um, let me put these groceries away first.”

“We haven’t the time,” he insisted, coming closer to you.

Gale would have offered to carry my groceries for me by now. This isn’t him! 

Without another word, you turned to run.

The doppelganger grabbed the collar of your shirt and pulled hard, choking you. Dropping your bag of groceries, you pulled at your collar, trying to get some air, but they were strong. One arm wrapped around your mouth.

“You’ve got wits, but no power. Pity,” a woman’s voice hissed in your ear.

You felt a sharp pain to your temple, and then you felt nothing at all as everything went black.

***

Astarion and the others returned to their room in the Elfsong, ready for a long rest. Upon entering the room, however, he smelled something distinctly… vile.

“Welcome back,” said the creature posing as his hearth witch. Though she looked like her, she definitely didn’t sound like her. The soothing warm tone of her voice could not be replicated by any other.

“You’re not her.” Astarion glared at the shapeshifter, disgusted that she would take the form of his beloved.

Orin pouted. “How could you tell so quickly?”

“I could smell your stench a mile away.”

Everyone looked on in horror as a crazed, maniacal grin grew on their hearth witch’s face. And when she twisted back to her usual form, everyone felt a fear and anger that they could not swallow down.

“If you want your precious friend, then kill Gortash for me and bring me his netherstone.” She disappeared in a burst of pink petals, her insane laughter bleeding away.

Astarion could barely contain his rage. “We don’t have time, we have to find her now,” he snarled.

The others agreed. 

“Don’t worry Astarion, we’ll find her,” Wyll said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Orin won’t get away with this.”

He nodded as he tried to keep a level head. But it was so, so hard.

If Orin touches her… she’ll feel her madness. She’ll feel everything.

***

You woke up to a world of pain, your entire body feeling as if it was on fire. You shifted and gasped in agony.

Then your memories of the last 24 hours returned, and you nearly vomited. You had so, so many cuts across your body. Your clothes had been sliced to shreds, and your skin along with it.

The crazed cackle of your captor drew your attention. Orin licked her knife with glee. “Your blood is the sweetest,” she murmured. 

And then she wrapped her hand around your neck. You let out a hoarse cry of agony as her madness seeped into you. No amount of mental guarding could keep out the intensity of her insanity.

c̵̝̽u̵̩͌t̵͇͛ ̷̗̕c̵͉͌ṵ̵͝t̴̝̓ ̵̫͋m̸͙̚a̶̧̾i̴͈͋m̴̱̀ ̷̳̔m̸͇͛a̸̢͝i̸̗͗m̴͎͝ ̴̡̒m̷͍̈́ṵ̶͗r̵̝̾d̷̜̄e̸̤͋r̵̹͝ ̷̮̓m̸̳̊ủ̵͚r̸̖͑d̷͈̿e̴̞̐r̸̻͋k̶̜̋i̷̪͊l̶̝̔l̸͚̀k̴̫̃i̶͈̓l̴͇̀ĺ̶͙K̴͉̍Ȋ̶͜L̸͈͛L̵̫͌ ̴̢̀K̸̯̈I̸͍̿L̸̘̍Ľ̶̪ ̶̘̈K̴͇͘I̴̬͐L̶͚̀L̶̤̓—̸̟̀ ̵͉̏

You squeezed your eyes shut to drown out the voices in your head.

“Who knew you would be so sensitive to just my mere touch! Such a delight to torture.”

You could barely hear her words beyond the pounding of blood in your ears. Is this what she constantly felt? Wave after wave of darkness, followed by an alternating current of rage, a frenzied, frenetic need to hurt, to kill. 

It was so dissonant from your usual emotions that you were having a physical reaction. Your blood pumped harder, spilling more from your wounds. You were weakening, your limbs feeling heavier with each passing moment.

“Let go of me!” you cried, your hands wet with your blood as you tugged weakly at Orin's arm. 

She only laughed. “Why should I? Your agony is the sweetest candy on my tongue.” Grabbing your wrist and twisting it painfully, she brought the inside of your arm to her mouth. While she stared at you with her crazed glare, she licked your blood, savoring it, smearing it all over her lips. 

“No!” You shrieked, trying to jerk your arm away. It was a useless endeavor; she was far stronger than you could ever be. “That blood is not for you!” 

You tugged harder, the blood making your skin slippery. Her grip tightened until you felt your bones begin to yield, the pain making you keen. 

“You make the most lovely sounds when in pain,” she murmured, letting go of your wrist and your throat. Placing the tip of her knife at your collarbone, she grinned maniacally. The sharp tip pierced your skin, the slow, burning sting making you whimper in pain. 

“Let me hear you sing in agony once more—“

“My lady!” 

Orin immediately grabbed the servant by the throat. “How. Dare. You. Interrupt me!” 

“There…. are… intruders…” the servant gurgled.

You looked up, grateful for any distraction that kept Orin’s knife away from your collarbone. In the distance, you could see your companions as they charged down the stairs. A sense of relief flooded you. 

Your friends. They were here. Thank the gods. 

All of the stress and the injuries suddenly overwhelmed you, and your vision blurred. Did Orin just transform into a beastly creature? The party threw themselves into the fray, fighting off the other cultists while Karlach and Lae'zel focused on Orin. 

The last thing you saw was Astarion rushing past the beast towards you, calling out your name. 

***

It had been a hell of a battle, and Astarion barely remembered it. Once he had secured his beloved in a safe corner, he had lashed out, stabbing Orin until she screamed in agony. Then he sprinted back, picked up his little hearth witch in his arms and brought her to Shadowheart, who immediately healed her wounds. Her clothes were shredded to tatters, and even after her wounds had closed, she was still out cold.

“She may be mentally overwhelmed,” Shadowheart said.

He only nodded before setting off at a hurried pace to get back to the Elfsong, cradling her closely.

After they got out of the Undercity, she finally spoke to him again. “I'm surprised by how far you've come, Astarion. I didn't think you'd ever care so deeply about anyone.”

“I didn’t think so either,” he replied carefully. “But she managed to weasel her way in.”

“It's funny how the little things do so much. A warm meal, a soft touch, a gentle smile. She's brought us all out of our shells, made us feel safe.”

“Yes…” He looked down at his love. “She feels like home.”

Shadowheart didn’t miss the softness in his eyes as he spoke, gazing at his witch.

***

“Seems strange, doesn't it?” Shadowheart mused while she sat with the other around the communal table, snacking on some cheese. 

“Well, they're lovers now, right? I wouldn't let anyone touch you either.”

Shadowheart frowned, even though she felt a bit tickled by Gale's protective comment. “That's fair. But he barely let me finish healing her before snatching her away.”

Gale shrugged. “Some people go a little crazy when they fall in love. I certainly don't blame him for acting this way. She's been kidnapped twice now, right under our noses.”

Nodding, Shadowheart grew quiet for a moment. “What do you think he meant when he said her skin was sensitive?”

Karlach suddenly lifted her head. “I asked her about why she wore gloves all the time and she said it was a secret. Maybe she just has super sensitive skin!” 

The others just accepted that conclusion and moved on to other topics, but Shadowheart kept chewing on the thought.

What if…?

***

You regained consciousness as Astarion was lifting you in his arms. You felt his worry for you through your bare skin before you realized that he had taken his shirt off, and you were fully naked.

“What’s going on?” you mumbled.

“We rescued you,” he answered, his voice soft. “And now I’m giving you a bath. You’re covered in blood.”

“Oh.”

Astarion slowly lowered you into the tub, the water immediately turning red as the dried blood on your skin was washed away. The warmth was soothing against your freshly healed body and you started to relax. But the moment Astarion let go of you, the pain from before came rolling back. When Orin had held you down, her madness had borne down on you, unrelenting, and it returned now in ripples of mania.

You struggled to stay alert, but you could feel your mind slowly dissociating. Your consciousness faded as you battled the memories. 

b̸̫̅͆ͅl̴̛̼̳̎ǒ̶̭́͜o̵̢̔ḋ̵̘̈́ ̷̢̬͌͘b̸̮͖̔l̸̙̬͘o̷͕̩̿̊o̸̬̐d̶̛͉ ̷̙̰̔c̷̢̩̈́ų̵̰͝t̶̖̲͆̿ ̷̭̬͝c̴̬̙̃u̴̱͋́t̶͆̆ͅ

“Darling?” 

s̷̖̍l̵͕͋i̵̗͒̾c̴̻̫̔̀ē̶̝ ̴͉͝͝s̵̝̋̅l̸̠̏́i̴̳̚c̷͚̎̒e̸̜̜̒ ̵̹͂̎ͅh̵̤̋̐ư̶̥͌r̵̖͚̆t̶̡̬̋ ̸̤͓̌h̵̗͑̓ų̵̙̾͊r̸͖̍̀t̶̼̎͘ ̸̙̐̍m̷͈͝a̷̘͎͗̊i̵̩̦̊̌m̷̳̗̿̈ ̵̞̂m̶͚͍͒͠a̵̠͚̚i̴̭͋̏m̶̹͖͊̓

Suddenly your mind went blank as Astarion pulled you out of the tub and into his embrace. You wanted to chide him about getting his pants dirty with the bloody water, that you were naked, that this was wholly inappropriate… 

But when you felt the overwhelming feeling of love and protection around you, it silenced everything else. The echoes of Orin's insanity, the screams of your own mental state, everything. 

All you felt was Astarion's love for you, and it brought you back to the present. 

And you cried. 

“I've got you, my sweet. I've got you,” he murmured as you shook uncontrollably.

“I hate this!” you cried. “I…I'm weak. I'm helpless. I didn't… I didn't want to be a burden!”

Astarion hushed you gently, nuzzling your cheek with the tip of his nose. “What's that irritating thing that Gale always says about burdens?”

It took you a moment to remember. “A burden shared is a burden halved?” 

“Yes. That.” He guided your chin up to look at him. “We both have our share of burdens. I accept yours, just as you accepted mine.”

“So you can say nice things,” you teased through your tears. “You won't abandon me?” you asked quietly. 

“You're the heart I thought I had lost,” he quietly confessed. “So don't even think for a moment that I'd ever let you go.” He held you tighter. “You're mine, burdens and all.”

He coaxed you back into the tub, and kept at least one hand on your skin as he helped you get clean. While you knew you were healed, you sometimes saw the cuts that Orin had inflicted as an afterimage on your skin. You had to shake your head and force the vision away from your mind.

While you were fighting the demons in your head, Astarion bathed you, dried you off, and took you to bed, wrapping you up in his arms, against his bare chest. 

“Will you be alright?” he asked softly, his gaze full of concern.

You took a deep breath. Would you? Orin did a hell of a number on you. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced, and you had seen some strange things in Waterdeep. Hells, you had faced a vampire lord and survived.

And yet…

“I’ll be alright,” you finally said.

He raised an eyebrow.

“I really will,” you insisted. “It may take some time, but you’ll be here to help, won’t you?”

His eyes softened. “Of course, darling.”

It wasn’t until you were mostly asleep that you realized that you were still naked, skin against skin with Astarion.

And yet, it was the most comfortable you had ever been with him, his arms wrapped protectively around you.

---------------------------

Act III, Chapter 3 End notes: Sorry for the lateness, had to work double digit hours every day this week at work, but finally got some time to edit and post this chapter! I’m really leaning into that hurt/comfort trope here and I regret nothing. But I think this will be about as much as I can write in terms of injuries, because honestly, our dear little witch needs to catch a break.

Also a bit of behind the scenes here: I absolutely killed that Zhentarim plotline, because it wasn’t working for me and it does get conveniently taken care of by Jaheira in the game. And I was thinking that HW was being a bit paranoid; she hasn’t seen a Zhent in years since the last time she was in the Gate. Also, the masked lord has basically forgotten about her, but she doesn’t know that.

Please leave me a comment and let me know what you thought of this chapter!

Tags List: @numblytemporary @xalphafox @avitute @stormyjane7 @kmoon21

[shallahi-and-snowflake]

Hello! Sorry about the roughness of my blog, I mostly just used this one for lurking before I ever thought to get in on anything.

I’m Shallahi Ksheh Bah-Teft, I’m… around… Nanish-er, that’s 20 years old, I think? (Years, months, days, and hours are different where I’m from.) (UPDATE: it’s closer to 22.) I’m human (mostly), Thaylen/Alethi, but I have longer eyebrows than most half-Thayleni. (I’m a Luxray Hybrid now, as of 2-29-24.) Yes, long eyebrows is a weird thing here. I tend to wear them over my ears, if that’s a good image to use as a metric.)

(Update: Apparently I’m Luxray-kin? I just figured it out, so…)

I’m from Kharbranth, also known as the City of Bells. I’m a Knight Radiant (something like a “Chosen” for a smaller, less powerful being. I’m of the Sixth Order, a Lightweaver of the Fourth Ideal as of 1-23-24), a Worldhopper (a “Faller” with more agency in where they go, basically), a collector of stories and knowledge and a lover of food and adventure!

I am a member of Bridge Four and an Incursionist.

I thought I was 6-foot-something, but I’m closer to 6-and-a-third of this world’s feet in height.

I use she/it/fae, and by your standards of gender, I would be transfeminine. (I transitioned by accidentally taking in an entire lamp’s worth of Stormlight, so no need to worry about HRT access, thank goodness. It’s such a shame that others can’t just breathe in magic and—poof! Be properly aligned to their Spiritual aspect.)

I may say words that don’t make sense to you, or don’t fit in the context you’d use them in, that’s just a consequence of the mixing of my own vocabulary and knowledge that I took with me here, me learning new words and assuming their meaning, and the Connection tricks I use to help learn new languages.

I said I was a Worldhopper earlier; don’t worry, while yes I might steal away to Scadarial or elsewhere for a bit, I’m making this world with weak storms, static grass, and colourful fluffy creatures my home. Like Shinovar but with more colour and less ksenophobia!

Now for you, Snowflake!

Mmmmm…

Ah! I am called “Snowflake” or “Snowy,” (She/Her) and I am a Patternspren or Crypticspren. A spren is… mmmm… a small fragment of a God. Not your gods, mind you. I am bonded to Shallahi, who you have already heard from. This world is strange to us. There is no Shadesmar, no Cognitive Realm that we could find. This means that I am just a Pattern on a dress or other form of clothing. I am dictating my words to Shallahi. Mmm… unfeminine.

(SH: Don’t listen to that stupid old book, it’s full of lies.)

I like lies. You know this.

SH: Then why let those lies dictate your life?)

Mmm… I am called Snowflake because that is how my Pattern looks. This is everything I can think to say.

I sign asks as ❄️.

I have a ton of siblings from Bridge Four, and also Oppy @freeroaming-curiosity is my sister!

Malkah (@faller-of-kharbranth) who just Fell here recently, is also my sister now!

Konnie @abyssanon is also my sibling, as well.

Mrrrp!! I’m Shallahi Ksheh! I use she/her!!!

I’m Ishev—fourteen—Rosharan years old, and a Shinx hybrid! I’m… an alternate version of the Shallahi y’all know! Basically, I’m her kid sister!! I wanna be a Trainer!!!

I sign my asks as -Shallahi The Shinx Kit ^•w•*^

SALUTATIONS. I AM HER MAJESTY THE DUSK QUEEN LUNALA, THE PSEUDO-PATRON OF SHALLAHI.

My name, should you need it, is Nyx, and I use she/he/it/moon pronouns.

Should I send any asks, I shall sign them with -Her Majesty, the Queen of Dusk, Lunala.

Rose @hisuianhellion is MY GIRLFRIEND AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

I have 12 kids:

• Sword @sword-of-injustice, who talks like this. (Your pronouns.)

• Crystal @crystalclearribbons, who doesn’t live with me. (She/Her)

• Vivillon @shinx-oh, who also doesn’t live with me. (She/her)

• Fox (Eevee), who lives with Vivillon. (He/him)

• Illanero @zoruascanbetrainerstoo, who is the Champion of Hoenn, Kanto, and Kalos!! (All, but mostly xe/xem)

Xe usually travels with Cresselia/Zrosenza @moondreamscape. (she/it/dream)

• Svirak-Daughter-None, a Squawkabilly (She/Her).

• [Zeradin, a Zebstrika] (They/He).

• <Zan, a Dwebble> (He/Him).

• {Vinette, a Joltik.} (She/It).

• Palana, a Natu (She/Him)

• Navari, Eevee/Axehound hybrid, egg obtained from Quasar ( @rogue-nebula) (She/her? Hatched. Unknown.)

Here’s my Trainer Card:

Annoyingly, there are very few darker-skinned Trainers with blue eyes in the options. Nessa(?) here is the closest I could find.

I have a Venipede friend named Kjrni!!!

Pelliper Mail is ON!

Same with Musharna Mail!

Don’t be afraid to ask me stuff, serious or silly!

In fact, don’t be afraid to be goofy with your asks.

Magic Anons are ON, but FILTERED!

Current Arc: Arc Shash (on hold sort-of), Purrsona.

Previous Arcs: Purifying Waters Arc, Time Heist Event, Rotomblr in Wonderland, Lightweaver Luxray, Robot Rescue, Mini-Arc: Curse Of Angy Teen, Muse Mixup Madness (Get PMD’d (Luxrayposting)), Mini Arc: Pokesona Time!, Muse Mixup Madness (Shashariposting) Mini Arc: More Cat.

//No proshippers, no TERFs, no NSFW stuff. I don’t really want drama, I just want to have fun. Oh, yeah, also, POTENTIAL COSMERE SPOILERS!

//Sentient Pokémon are A-OK to interact, if previous reblogs haven’t made it clear.

//Self Insert Fallers and Branded are also clear to interact.

[acourtofthought]

Making the Case for Elucien’s Book Already Having Been in the Works

The link to SJM’s Live Talks LA with Eva Chen is linked below and takes place after the release of ACOSF but here are some of the important take aways:

Do you have a book planned for the other sister? (referring to Elain)

24:50 - “Yes, to everything.  As soon as Nesta and Elain came back on the page in ACOMAF, I knew they would have journey's beyond what the reader was seeing.”

27:55 - “each book is a standalone that features it's own couple”

28:50 - Writing ACOWAR but finishing up ACOMAF - she told her editor  "what plans I had for Elain"

29:50 - "because this is where I wanted it go it allowed me to plant things for her journey and even Elain's journey early on"

30:48 - "I always try to keep one eye on the horizon when I'm writing just to make sure in the book I'm working on, I can set up for things later on. So there's lot of little secrets in SF that set up for later.” (this entire line of responses was based around having set up Nesta and ELAIN’s journey so it’s safe to say that some of the secrets she’s referring to in SF are in reference to Elain.  E/riels always use Elain and Az’s Bonus Chapter as proof of endgame and that Elain is Az’s secret but SJM is talking about secrets she’s left for the reader to find.  Nesta claiming “Az’s secret to tell” is not a secret to the reader at all.  Secrets are.....why Nesta placed the carving of the rose made for Elain next to a goddess figure.  Secrets are....hinting that Spring was MADE for someone like Elain.  Secrets are....placing both Lucien and Elain in Spring in future books as well as hinting that they’ll both end up traveling to the continent where Koschei is.  Secrets are the hints that someone other than Rhys may be High King and Lucien is showing the first markers of becoming a High Lord.  Secrets are what the real reason for Elain’s stealth like behaviors might be.  

33:13 - "basically I want to go everywhere except the Spring Court because Tamlin sucks.  But I love the Spring.  That's my problem.  Some of the seasons I adore but the people who run the courts are like giant douchebags.

50:00 - (talking about Silver Flames) We sent it off to the printer this past fall.

57:00 - Are there any iconic couples in pop culture of history or movies that you "stan", that might have been inspiring for any of the couples in any of your.....

57:36 - I don't think I was inspired by any of the couples but during the pandemic I’d done a bunch of rereading of Pride and Prejudice and listened to it and watched that BBC adaptation but Elizabeth and Darcy are......I can't get enough of their sexual tension.

58:40 - They have just as much sexual chemistry and tension as any graphically described relationship  

58:50 - I have spent a lot of time imagining what the Darcy / Elizabeth wedding night would be like.  

59:20 - I've spent a lot of time thinking about Pride and Prejudice lately. Elizabeth and Darcy and their relationship and what he does for her by the end of that book and how she evolves and changes by the end of the book.  I mean they both change and evolve and that's what I love most about their story, they're still very much themselves by the end of that book but they develop an understanding of each other and they've also grown because of each other and grown because of confronting each other.

After the last comment at 59:20, SJM then brings it back to Nesta and Cassian saying “and Nesta and Cassian I’m not going to be arrogant enough saying they’re just like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy because they’re different stories but that’s the kind of relationship I like to write about.

.......But, Silver Flames had already been released and at 59:20, she said that she’s been spending a lot of time thinking about Pride and Prejudice lately.  So to me, she’s not thinking about P&P because of Nessian since their story had already been told and theirs was definitely a graphically described romance.  She then says Nesta and Cassian are maybe a reverse P&P where she’s more like Mr. Darcy and he’s more like Elizabeth but to me they don’t give off P & P vibes.  Sure, Nesta had stubbornness but it was more about her own self hatred.  Elizabeth and Darcy’s issues arose because of the first impressions they had about the other person which is very similar to the way Elain and Lucien found out they were Mates, it set the tone for their entire relationship so far (not to mention Lucien initially felt humans were inferior to the Fae in ACOTAR as Darcy struggled with Elizabeth’s “lesser” class).  There also wasn’t a lot of sexual tension in Nessian’s book considering the sex played a large role very early on and they lack the propriety that Elizabeth and Darcy did.  

There is no other SJM couple that embodies Pride and Prejudice more thoroughly than Elain and Lucien, two characters who need to learn to “confront one another” and I can't imagine why she would have repeatedly been reading / watching / listening to it unless she was channeling Elucien.

Azriel may be broody but his thoughts are extremely graphic in nature and he's violent (not at all Darcy like).  There’s also no way for him to still be "very much himself" by the end of his book and end up a match for Elain. SJM likes her characters to grow but not be unrecognizable.

In the same interview she spoke of hints for Elain’s journey, she calls Tamlin a douchebag so I highly doubt she’s building towards a Tamlain ship.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrC23s33UxI&t=1742s

[v-anrouge]

Answer some or all, I want to know more about you 👀 that wasn’t the right emoji but oh well I’m using voice to text

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

1- actually yeah but theyre super super super light so u can barely see them

2- coffee, i hate tea. i drink it with milk and sugar

3- more KDA

4- side, shrimping

5- yes:3 rook vil and my childhood plush

6- drawing

7- one, and it has to be thin

8- DONT DO THID TO ME I CANT DECIDE

9- june 19

10- 5'3 💀

11- very dark brown

12- all my mooties

13- abandonment, forests, insects, worm like things, heaven, dogs

14- blue and purple

15- winter 100%

16- yes! maybe of a deer, not realistic tho

17- i want all my piercings back my mom made me take them off so now im only left w my bites and the cheek ones😔

18- my mother

19- my lesbian irl :3 like two years?

20- peace

21- okay-ish

22- like 4 or 5?

23- i don't care for them

24- like 1 hour ago, obey me 💀

25- i don't think there are decades to be celebrated humans are evil in all of them

26- cute things, children movies and cartoons, they make me happy

27- i haven't read in LONG because books in brazil are way more expensive than i can afford

28- okay i think

29- yes😭

30- getting a job that i actually like

31- moving with my irl

32- to my irl's house :3

33- locked shut

34- oleanders!

35- nope

36- HATE IT

37- CATSSS

38- insects, worm like things..i think that's it?

39- yeah💀

40- no, but also yes, i dislike beaches because in there's always those fucking sand dollars , i prefer it sunny because the water is cold

41- GUMBALL!!!

42- I CANT I DON'T WANT TO MAKE ANYONE SAD FOR NOT BEING HERE

43- two older brothers

44- my irl

45- my irl...

46- distract myself and talk to people i like (usually my irl)

47- no i havent 😭

48- my irl <3

49- it's a fight between me and my mom id rather not, sorry

50- I have absolutely no idea what to ask tbh😭 uhmm i guess id like to ask why so many ppl like me

[satninroses]

Prompt List| Satninroses

1. “I love you.” “I know.”

2. “I’m pregnant.”

3. “I want to see you in that cute dress today. Got it?” (Elvis Exclusive)

4. “This can’t go on. I can’t continue to hurt you like this.”

5. “You seem innocent enough.” “I can assure you, I’m not saint.”

6. “What the FUCK just happened?”

7. “You touch her and I’ll make sure you don’t see tomorrow.”

8. “I’m sorry that I’m not good enough.” “Yeah, you should be.” (Angst Exclusive)

9. “(Elvis/Mafia), You’re drunk!” “Yeah, and you’re pretty”

10. “Wanna have a threesome?”

11. “You’re being rough tonight. Is everything ok?” (Smut Exclusive)

13. “Wanna take a ride?”

14. “They were looking at you like… like you were some kind of eye candy!”

15. “Oh, babydoll. What happened?”

16. “Stop talking about your boyfriend while we’re having sex.” (Msi reference lolz)

17. “Please stop doing this to yourself. For me.” (Prob Elvis Exclusive)

18. “You have to believe me!” “You’re fucking psychotic.”

19. “Upstairs. Now.” “Yes Mr. Presley”

20. “Trust me doll, I’ll be making you scream my name before I even take your shirt off.”

21. “You’re not alone baby. You have me.”

22. “Do we HAVE to go to your parents house?” “-Yes. I need to reassure them that I’m not dating thin air.”

24. “You’re my baby sister. It’s my job to protect you.”

25. “What kind of brother would I be if I didn’t scare your awful date away?”

26. “Are you even listening?” “…No…”

27. “God doll. You look like an angel.”

28. “Nice to meet you. I’m Elvis Presley” “I know, I watch the movies.”

29. “There are Elvis impersonators?” “-Oh yeah” (Time Travel Exclusive)

30. “Run away with me. I’ll give you the life you want.

31. “Lord Almighty, girl.”

32. “How long have you been doing this?” (Angst Exclusive)

33. “Do you seriously believe I’d let some greaser hurt my feelings?”

34. “You look like a dream.”

35. “I’ll find the person that did this to you. I promise.”

-More to be added!

-Requests are open for PROMPTS ONLY!

| Little backstory: I’ve had this in my drafts for a little bit (obviously) because I really wanted at least 50 prompts. I knew I needed to get these done but I just didn’t know when I was going to. So, here they are!

|When I was ??? 12-14 I wrote a Supernatural book on my Wattpad! This prompt list reuses some of them as well. If see one that’s a little on the “different” side, (If you catch my drift) thats why.

|I will continue to add to this. Please be patient!

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 28. brb x oc

a/n: AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, ROOSTER IS GOING TO BE A DAD!!!!

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark

-

He finally messaged her when December arrived and she was already two months along. God it was almost torture and if it wasn’t for Penny being the voice of reason Beatrice would surely lose it. She got the message in the middle of the night and immediately broke down when she saw it, trying her best to cover her crying so Jolene wouldn’t come over. 

Apparently there were some hiccups in the mission but they were all okay, Beatrice had to calm down her breathing before she wrote something back or else she’d just choke on her own sobbing any second now. 

Bea (12:34)

Roos, oh my god, I am so happy to hear from you. I was starting to get worried but I didn’t want to send you a message and then make you worried :( because you did say you’d take a while to talk back to me.

Roos (12:36)

Gorgeous, it’s okay, I’m glad to be talking to you too. We’ll video chat tomorrow, okay? I already have everything ready too.

Bea (12:40)

Okay. I’m just glad you guys are all okay though, I really am.

She licks her lips, hovering her thumbs over the digital keyboard before continuing.

Bea (12:41)

Did you get my gift?

He takes a while to answer, maybe a few more minutes and Beatrice takes that time to drop her phone to her chest, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips, fighting back another wave of tears that tickled the back of her eyes, only looking at her phone again when it buzzes. There’s a picture of him holding the still closed box, she lets out a relieved sigh once she sees it, and it looks incredibly small in his hand.

Roos (12:46)

This is the one right? 

Bea (12:47)

Yes!That’s the one! You didn’t open yet did you?

Roos (12:49)

Wanted to but held myself back, your letter said to wait until we video chatted. I gotta admit I got the tingly fingers,I wanna know what it is.

Bea (12:51)

I know, handsome, but it’s just a little while,right? Until tomorrow, then you can enjoy what is inside all you want.

Roos (12:52)

Well,I always lose pens so this one is more than welcome.

Oh if only he knew.

Roos (12:54)

Babe, listen I have some other things to finish but I’ll be here later, alright? Promise.

Bea (12:55)

I know Roos :) I have to sleep too, so…until we talk again?

Roos (12:55)

You bet ,gorgeous. I love you.

Bea (12:56)

I love you too, so much <3

And that was their last communication for the night. Beatrice sighs as the phone falls onto the bed, her now free hands coming up to rub her face up and down as she looks at the ceiling, “He’s okay,” she whispers, closing her eyes, “He’s okay, he is okay. God…I was so scared, so were you huh?” her stomach still looked the same, apparently it starts showing on the third to fourth month so it was easier to hide her pregnancy until Rooster knew about it.

“Your daddy is going to meet you real soon!” she smiles, gently placing her hand on top, “I have to say I’m nervous, I don’t know why but I am.” Beatrice chews her lower lip, ‘God, everyone is going to lose their mind, Mav is going to lose his mind. Oh God.” honestly she was just happy to hear from him after so long, it didn’t matter in the end how people would react to the news anymore as long as he was safe.

Beatrice places her phone on the nightstand, then rolls to his side, burying her face into his pillow and smiling when she whiffs his cologne, hugging it close to herself until she falls asleep. 

She had no dreams, at least she doesn’t remember any when she wakes up. What she is surprised to see is that it is raining a lot, the sound of thunder wakes her up - followed by the puppies whining and barking downstairs, undoubtedly alerted by the sound. Bea groans, sitting up on the bed, wincing at another thunder as she wakes up fully, walking to the bathroom to at least look presentable and then walking downstairs.

The four puppies are all looking out the glass doors, wagging their tails, the white one stood by her back paws and pressed her front ones to the glass, barking at the large raindrops as Jolene stood back keeping an eye on them, “Well, it sure is raining.” the sound of Beatrice’s voice makes them hurriedly rush to her feet to greet her, yapping and jumping a bit, the brown and white one running between her legs as their mom just wagged her tail once she received the morning pets, “Morning you guys, guess what?”

The puppies stood in front of her with their tails wagging, “Today you guys will meet Rooster! Well, partially.” Jolene’s tail wags even harder and she barks out in excitement at the mention of her second favorite human in this whole wide world, spinning in place “I know! I know Jojo! I’m excited too!”

Beatrice walks to the cabinet where she keeps the puppies’ soft food, the sound of the bag immediately making the tiny dogs surround her like a wall, whining and yapping at her feet to get something already. After she fills the giant bowl with their food and sets it down, she walks to the table, leaning her head on her hand with a little smile towards Jolene.

Her pitbull slowly makes her way over, plopping her huge head on Beatrice’s thigh, giving her a soft sigh that probably meant she was extremely relieved to have her puppies distracted with something else that wasn’t her. Beatrice chuckles quietly, gently petting her dog’s head repeatedly, enjoying the sound of the puppies eating and the rain outside, “Yeah, we are both mamas now.” she says still petting her “Can you believe it?”

Jolene looks at Bea with her big eyes, boofing quietly and then tilting her head to her cheek is touching her owner’s thigh now, the petting never stopping. Beatrice grins, looking down at her phone to see it was seven in the morning, but with the rain outside it was almost as if the day hadn’t started yet. She could see the puddles in the backyard already, undoubtedly Jolene was going to teach her kids how to play in them, how to roll in them and of course how to bite raindrops…but only once the rain lessened a little bit. 

Beatrice just sighs,looking out to where she could see the dark clouds standing by, dark and thick, shining with lightning in the distance. She looks up when the light flickers above her head, “Oh no, we don’t need a blackout today, right? I’m going to finally talk to Rooster.” the light stopped flickering almost immediately and Beatrice blinked at it, “Uh…thanks. Let’s hope it stays that way, please.”

She was talking to the air now, oh she was really losing her mind.

Beatrice shakes her head, looking down at her stomach when Jolene presses her snout to it, sniffing the fabric of her sleeping shorts before her eyes look up at the brunette, “Yep, there’s a baby here, Jojo.” she grins, gently caressing the area with her palm, trying to feel if it was any different from a month before but she couldn’t see it. It only started to show on the fourth month from what she’s seen…and while her stomach wasn’t flat as most of the pictures she looked up online and it showed the pregnancy, she was sure she’d be able to notice it once Rooster came back.

God, just imagining his reaction to her gift was already making her vibrate with excitement, chewing her lower lip with a smile, “I think he’s going to cry a bit.” she whispers to Jolene, who now had her eyes closed and was snoring quietly, “I might cry a bit too…everyone else might cry if I’m honest with you Jojo…especially Mav. Oh God, he’s going to…yeah, he’s going to go crazy.”

–

Rooster was looking at Beatrice’s gift resting by his side was he waited for the connection to finally work, supporting his face on his open palm as he tried to think why the hell would she want him to keep the gift of a new pen saved up for so long.

There was no way it was anything else but a pen, it had the shape of one!!

But he just did as she asked, because when didn’t he? She could ask him to bring her the moon and he would do so. Rooster looked at the circle that faded every now and again with the dreaded words 'establishing connection, stand by’ on top of it, almost as if it was mocking him, the very voice of Nelson from the Simpsons going ‘HAHA’ surely came to mind the longer he waited.

Maybe he was just on edge because of what happened, he was glad everyone was okay but it was really close. He might’ve heard from the higher ups that they would probably cut this mission short a month, maybe he’d come home sooner but there was no way of knowing that yet. He hoped so, he missed Bea, the scent pouch was good but…it wasn’t his wife.

He taps his fingers rhythmically against the table, glowering down at the connection symbol and trying his best to not lose his mind, “Come on.” he begins, “Come on. You can work, you worked with everyone else but not with me? What the fuck.” and as if on cue, the circle stopped and it finally let him know that a connection had been established. “Oh thank God.”

It takes a few seconds for Bea’s face to appear, but once she does, her smile is brilliant and her eyes at shining, “Brad!”

“Fuck,gorgeous you are a sight to sore eyes.” he says with a sigh, a relief that’s bigger than it appears to be, he’s so immensely thankful to see Beatrice, he’s so thankful to whoever has been protecting them all lately “I’m so happy to see you.”

Beatrice’s cheeks turned red and even with the staticy image he could see it, “I’m happy to see you too…how are you?”

He laughs humorlessly, rubbing his forehead with his fingertips, “I’m…going through it, kinda tired but, glad that everything went fine.”

“Was it that bad?”

Her eyebrows lowered and he almost regretted mentioning it again, he could see the worry in her green eyes, “It wasn’t that bad.” he says, folding his arms over the table, “Annoying, but not that bad.” she didn’t need to worry even more.

“Okay…oh!” He sees that she picks up the laptop, turning it slowly around and then tilting the screen over a bit. He sees Jolene, sleeping peacefully with her puppies all nestled on her body, the little white one was sleeping right on her mother’s neck, with the tiny pink tongue out. “I sent you the pics but I don’t know if you saw it, so,”

“Oh my god, they are so fucking cute,Bea.” he is in awe and almost grabbing at the screen, “They are so tiny oh my God.”

“Yeah, and well, most of them already have homes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, um, Bianca and Mikey wanted two so there’s only two left.”  she points to the white one and to the white and brown one, “The two siblings.”

He did not hesitate, “We’re keeping them. Both of them. There’s no way I’m letting them both go, what the hell.”

Beatrice looks at him with wide eyes once she’s back on the screen, then laughs quietly,”Well, then it’s settled, these two will stay. They’ll need names though.”

“Jack and Eleanor. To keep within the musical names.”

“Jumpin’ Jack Flash and Eleanor Rigby?”

He smiles even wider when she answers, they are really one and the same when it comes to stuff like that, “Yep, you got it.” His eyes then shifted to the box he kept by his side ever since he sat down, tapping his finger against his jawline as he looked, “So…about my gift…can I open it now?”

Beatrice didn’t reply for a while and when she did he wasn’t expecting her question, “There’s no one else with you,right?”

“What? No?” he’s already grabbing the little box and laughing a bit, “Baby, what did you put in here hm? You know how those things make me go crazy.” but she didn’t laugh back, she was smiling but she wasn’t laughing - and was the image so bad he was imagining her eyes were shining with something other than the usual love? But he just gave her a confused look, unwrapping the colorful paper that covered it, being careful to not rip it too much or else it’d be a mess in there.

Once there was no other type of cover on the box, he flipped the lid open and furrowed his brow when he saw the card glued inside it, “What’s the size of a rice grain but not a rice?” he could hear Beatrice’s soft sniffles, but when he looked up she was just smiling at him, “Bea, you know I have no patience for riddles, that’s why I suck in some games.”

“I know but…well, keep going.”

He chuckles again, still confused, looking down at the wrapped pen inside, kept together by the paw print sticker, “I mean you really went all out on this, huh?” he says as he rips the paper open, “All to give me a new pen, baby I know I lose my pens a lot but you don’t have to–”

And he immediately stops. 

Because that’s not a pen, in fact that’s not even something he was expecting to see. He is looking down at the two pregnancy tests, one on top of the other, the red lines screaming at him. “...wait…” he laughs because he doesn’t know what else to do, picking the two tests up, fanning them out to have a better look, “Wait…wait, baby, is this a joke or something?”

The second time he looks over at Beatrice, she’s really crying, wiping her face the best she could, sniffling, giving him the most teary smile he had ever seen, “I-It’s not a joke,Brad.”

His smile drops after she says it and his eyes widen when he looks at the tests one more time. The chair scrapes loudly when he stands to his feet, brown irises going from one test to the other, repeating the pattern over and over until he could no longer distinguish anything else around him. “...how…far along…?”

Beatrice sniffles, “T-Two months.” she says, “I-It’s not very visible yet but…it will be when you come back.”

And he falls back on the chair, dropping the tests and holding his head in his hands, his eyes stinging and a sudden wave of emotion taking over him. The tears came out before he could stop them, he didn’t plan to honestly, and he looked down at the white sticks that held so much power within them still in pure shock. “...Bea…” he begins with a shaky voice, “Gorgeous…gorgeous we are going to have a baby?” When they meet eyes, Beatrice nods in response, laughing tearfully.

Never had he felt like this before, it was euphoria and fear and happiness all in one punch, he was heavy but he was floating, he was under the sea but he could breathe. It was the most amazing and the strangest feeling he ever had in his entire life…it was like he was in a complete different world, like he stepped through a portal into an alternate reality but this was his reality.

He was going to be a dad.

He was going to be a dad!!

“Holy shit.” he laughs just as she did, with the tears trailing down his eyes onto the desk, the sounds from around him disappearing because of his own thoughts. When he calms himself down enough, his smile still wide and bright, “...baby we are going to be parents.” she nods, “Does…does anyone else know?”

Beatrice chews her lower lip, “Well…Shells and Ev knew by accident and Penny sort of sniffed it out of me…but no one from my family knows…I really wanted you to know first. I know technically it’s not how it happened but…” and she shrugs at him with a sheepish smile.

“Baby, baby I don’t care. As long as I know I–” he leans back on the chair with his hands going up to his hair, “Bea, there’s a baby growing inside you. A baby we both created…holy fuck.”

“Yeah…I know…”

“We need to think of names already.” he says, the ‘dad’ mode turning on instantly, “We need to go shopping too, buy a crib, buy…baby stuff…I…” and he stills couldn’t believe those words were coming out of his mouth.

When he was much younger he considered being a father, but he never achieved that mainly because there was never an actual ‘connection’ between him and the person he was with at the time, not like what he had with Beatrice.  And now, he was going to have that!

“Well…would you say it was worth it waiting for your surprise?”

Bradley looks down at the tests, cheeks flexed as he smiles, “...Hell yeah, gorgeous. It was more than worth it.”

Beatrice opens her mouth to say more, but she looks back at the windows when there’s a loud sound coming from outside, loud enough to wake the puppies and Jolene, which then evolved in a complete yapping round, “Sorry Roos, it’s raining a lot today and I think th-yerk-bzzt.”

Her connection gets fuzzy, her audio delayed and Rooster just smiles at her “It’s okay gorgeous, it’s fine if you need to go.”

“I jut–puppies–thkk-”  she’s not aware her audio is having issues, but he does see her wave him goodbye after blowing a kiss towards the camera. He does the same, waiting until her side goes dark, leaving him alone in the room with her gift still in front of him.

Rooster exhales through his mouth, smiling widely at the pregnancy tests, holding them to his eye level because he just needed another look, just to be sure it was actually real. He was going to be a father, holy shit, he and Bea were going to be parents…he wondered, almost out loud, if this was a reward for what happened weeks before.

If all that worry was just because he’d have this. Because now there was another reason for him to come home safe, one more reason to be extra careful…one more reason for his future child to not grow up like he did. He immediately clenches his eyes to get rid of the thought, standing to his feet and shoving Beatrice’s gift inside one of his pockets, walking out of the room and nodding to the officer who walked outside.

He wasn’t going to think like that. No, he wasn’t going to think like that. 

He is shook out of his thoughts when he sees Maverick close by, holding some papers in his hand, “Hey, how was your talk with Bea?” his nephew stops completely, giving him a weird look one that makes Pete furrow his brows and then arch one of them, “Rooster?”

“...Mav.”

“...what?”

“I gotta show you something.” he looks around for a second, “But you have to promise to not freak out too much.”

Maverick just gave his godson and even weirder look, “Freak out, why would I freak out-” only to see him pull out the two pregnancy tests from his pocket, holding them in front of Maverick’s eyes. And his uncle, for a brief second appeared to lose all air in his lungs, the papers he was holding slipped from his grasp to the floor and then, “...She’s pregnant?!” he asks, holding his nephew’s shoulders, “Beatrice is pregnant?!”

“Yes–”

“Rooster, don’t joke with me.” his nephew just gave him a look that translated to ‘do you really think I’d joke about that?’  “...oh shit,oh shit I think I need to sit down.”

[imsiriuslyreading]

hello i wasn’t quite sure where to send this so i’ll put it here for the moment. i just wanted to say that i found myself a quiet afternoon to binge ‘i have no milk’ and i am finding it so so lovely. you’ve both made wonderful companions today, and making lots of ppl give me strange looks as i laugh at seemingly nothing :))

also perhaps on a strange note but i’m a bit younger than you guys and i’m finding the style of conversation and topics, etc, all rather comforting(?). it gives the same vibe as that ‘because the world didn’t end when i was 15’ trend, is the best way i can phrase it. listening to you discuss your lives and the expectations you had for them and then them being Not Those Expectations but here you are making a podcast, reading your fics and making new friends etc etc. it all kind of feels like you’re patting me on my little anxious head and going ‘the world isn’t ending it’s just changing’.

anyway i haven’t a clue if that actually made any sense but i’m enjoying the podcast immensely and hoping you’re both well and looking forward to more to come !!

hello lovely thing,

this was the most beautiful message to wake up to, oh my goodness.

firstly, thanks ever so much for listening. Montana and I are very honoured to have been your friends alongside your sunday afternoon <3 no better way to spend a day, if you ask me.

we both adored your message, particularly the part about 'the world didn't end at 15', alongside the 'world isn't ending, it's just changing.' because I think you're onto something a bit special there.

something i've noticed is that, yes, as you said, the world didn't end at 15. it didn't end at 17, 19, 24, 27 etc for me either, although sometimes it sort of felt like it had. but it did change, and so did i, as we all do, but some things stay the same i reckon.

the main one being is the need and want for connections and friends throughout your life. everyone has it, i think, whether or not its something they speak about freely. our whole lives, the Big Expectations of What Your Life Should Look Like is drilled into us so thoroughly, and in actuality, the older I get, the less i find all that matters. I've done some cool things over the last few years in my career. I've had the whole long-term relationship on the right track to marriage and the big house, blah blah blah. but none of that matters, really.

my career is boring as sin and I'm always looking for the things that set my soul on fire. that relationship burned into nothingness and, frankly, i couldn't be happier about it.

the bits that stick, though, are the friends you make. we go through such periods of loneliness where it feels like we'll never find our people. but we do find them. often in the most unexpected places (harry potter fanfiction I'm looking you dead in the eye right now). and let me tell you, I'm pretty sure I've found my soulmates here, if that's not too cheesy. I've felt more highs and lows in fiction and friends in the past year or so than I have probably my whole life. and when I was a teenager or in my early 20s, I'd look at people my age now and think 'god you're like, a real grown up.' but fuck if they exist, really. we're all just toddling along, doing our best and seeing what sticks.

and honestly, the best bit about getting to grow older is that you discover so much more of yourself, and get the chance to craft who you are into someone you're proud of.

so, i guess, what i'm trying to say is that I'm absolutely thrilled to hear our conversations felt like a little reassuring pat on the head. because whatever life ends up looking like, as long as you love it, or big parts of it at least, i think that's what matters.

and thank you, because your message felt a bit like a pat on the head, too. and it meant so much more to me (and Montana!) than you know.

I'm excited for you to decide whats next in your story.

have the most beautiful day and thank you ever so much once again for sending this <3