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talkdutchtome · 11 months

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Two lines - Max Verstappen

pairing . . . max verstappen x reader )

genre . . . slight angst, fluff )

summary . . . a one night stand with the formula one world champion ends with an expected pregnancy, can the two of you figure out how to co-parent for the sake of the new life on the way )

requested?. . . based on this request )

warning . . . mentions of sex, one night stand, pregnancy, medical emergency, eclampsia, emergency c-section )

word count . . . 8.8k words )

a/n . . .this is without a doubt the longest and most in-depth piece of work i've done for this blog, i've worked so so hard on this so i hope you all love it. any and all feedback is welcome and encouraged; let me know what you think )

Two lines. Two lines is all it took to completely turn your life upside down. This morning you were feeling positive, life was going well. You had just got a promotion at your job; you were on the back of a great second date with a really lovely guy, you had plans to go out with your girls to celebrate. Life was good. But now, sat on a toilet in a cramped grocery store bathroom, you could almost see all of that goodness and light evaporate into thin air. Now the only thing that was positive was the pregnancy test that sat in the palms of your hands. You did want kids, but not like this. You wanted kids when you were settled down, married with a house and a dog. That was the plan; the plan that you had in your head since you were 11 years old. Grow up, climb the career ladder, meet the love of your life, get married, buy a house- then and only then have kids. Nowhere in that plan did it state have a one-night stand with a Formula One driver in a club bathroom and get pregnant, yet here you are. Two lines.

Four weeks ago, your best friend Mia dragged you to a Formula One race. Neither of you particularly cared for the sport however she had just started dating Charles Leclerc and he had asked her to come and see him race, so she decided that you needed to come with her for support. After the race she also insisted you come with them to the nightclub for the same reason. Things were going fine, Charles was nice, his friends seemed okay. However, things took a turn when she and Charles disappeared halfway through the night leaving you alone with none other than Max Verstappen. It was awkward to say the least. He didn’t seem happy or in a particularly chatty mood so you both did what any reasonable adult would do in that situation- get black out drunk. One drink turned to two drinks, which turned to three and then four. Eventually, the mixed spirits in your system lead to the pair of you getting closer and closer together until the tension was unbearable and you ended up hiding away in the private bathroom with him. No contact details were exchanged by either of you, why would there be, it was a one-time thing - you were never going to see each other again, right?

You hadn’t really thought about that night again until now. Mia and Charles’ relationship eventually fizzled out as quickly as it had started and your brief time in the world of Formula One had ended. Your focus was on Tom, the guy you were dating now. Fuck. Tom. How in the world are you supposed to tell a guy you have been on two dates with that you were pregnant? What were you meant to say at work? Thanks so much for the promotion, see you in a year? You were well and truly fucked. Should you tell Max? You wouldn’t even know how to contact him without going through Mia and that was not an option. You never told her that you even slept with him, you can’t just drop the fact that you’re pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s best friend's baby. To put it plainly, you had no idea what the hell you were going to do.

Four weeks later and you were slowly making your way through telling everyone who needed to be told, apart from the most important of course; you still hadn’t figured out how to tell Max. Telling your work was first, there wasn’t any issues there and it gave you a false sense of security, thinking that maybe everything would be okay. However, telling Tom did not go as well. After learning that the girl he had been casually dating had fallen pregnant, he essentially sprinted away from the situation, and you, as fast as he could. Then it was time to tell Mia, who for some reason found it hilarious; or at least until she realized that it meant she would have to contact Charles so you could tell Max. Your parents were upset at first but quickly warmed to the idea of being grandparents. As time went on, the dread you felt lessened and lessened and was replaced with excitement. You nicknamed the baby Little Bump and spoke to it every night. Even if this wasn’t what you planned, it was going to be okay. It was you and your Little Bump against the world.

Even though you were content with raising the baby by yourself, the people in your life didn’t seem to agree. Your parents, who didn’t know who the father was, endlessly asked you about him and if he knew and if he wanted anything to do with it. Mia, however, who did know it was Max, held the position that Max had the right to know what was going on. It’s not like you didn’t agree with her, you did. But the fear of his reaction prevented you from being able to tell him. If he reacted badly and told you to go away and never come back, what were you supposed to do in 10 years' time when your child started asking why they didn’t have a dad. You couldn’t exactly tell that poor kid that he wanted nothing to do with us but if you tune into Sky Sports on a Sunday you might catch a glimpse of him.

So, you didn’t tell him. You go through the motions of pregnancy without him. Morning sickness, scans and checkups. You were happy with your choice; you’d both be okay without him. But that all changed the second you felt your little bump kicking. The feeling of movement in your stomach made everything so much more real. No longer was the baby just a concept, but a real human being growing inside of you. It dawned on you then, that even if you were perfectly capable of raising Little Bump by yourself, this little baby was a privilege; and it was a privilege that Max should have the opportunity to have too.

You needed to tell him, that was decided. The next part was figuring out how. Luckily for you, a quick google search told you that the next Formula One race was in a city not too far out from where you lived. So, you go to the city you know he’s going to be in, Mia insists on coming with you, both for emotional support but also to make sure both you and Little Bump stay safe.

The first issue to tackle when arriving is convincing Mia to call Charles. She never told you what happened between the two of them but whatever it was it was clearly not a clean break. The second obstacle was convincing Charles to actually give Mia Max’s number. Apparently phoning up your ex to ask for one of their best friend’s phone numbers isn’t really socially acceptable. However, after much persuasion he eventually gave it up; so now you were in the same city as him and you had his number. All that was left was to tell him. You typed up a message telling him everything; before swiftly deleting it and writing it again, and then again, and then again. The cycle went on for hours; you just didn’t know how to tell someone that you hardly knew that they were going to be a father. Eventually, you settled on sending a message simply asking him to meet you.

You- Hi Max, It’s Y/N. We met the other week through Mia and Charles. I’m in town, could we meet? There’s something I need to talk to you about?

Max- Oh hi yes Y/N I remember. I’m sorry I’m really busy with the race so I don’t have time for anything

You- It is really quite important. Please.

Max- Okay fine. Come to the track, I’ll put your name on the guest list, and I can give you 5 minutes before qualifying starts.

The nerves were becoming unbearable now. You had thought about turning around and running away multiple times on the drive to see Max, but you preserved; not for yourself but for Little Bump who deserved a chance of having a dad. Arriving at the track, you did as he said and told the security that you were on the guest list, and they let you through without too much issue. The urge to run away became stronger the closer you got to actually talking to him, you just had a feeling that things were not going to end well but against your better judgement you sent a quick text message to Max informing him you were waiting for him in catering.

The second you caught sight of him coming towards him you could have sworn Little Bump started kicking, affirming to you that you were making the right decision. This baby deserved a dad, and you couldn’t be the person who stood in the way of that.

“Hey Y/N I’m in a bit of a rush. What was you needed?” He asked the second he got close enough to you for you to hear him. This was it. Now or never. You were going to tell him.

“Max I’m-” you begin to speak before you are promptly cut off by a sudden surge of nausea. With one hand clamped to your mouth desperately trying not to embarrass yourself and vomit everywhere, you ran to the nearest bathroom, leaving a stunned Max Verstappen in your wake, wondering what the hell happened.

After a sufficient time in the bathroom, you gingerly returned back to the catering area, expecting Max to be long gone; but to your surprise he was sat at the table you had just left, his face painted with worry. You couldn’t even imagine what he was thinking, a random one-night stand gets your number, demands to see you and then runs away to be sick; you couldn’t look more unstable if you tried. Despite this, however, Max had waited.

“Are you okay Y/N? What just happened?” he asked

“Oh yeah, I’m fine that’s nothing to worry about, it’s like this every morning.” The words left your mouth before you realized that maybe you shouldn’t have said that. The worry on Max’s face only increases with your comment. You can see he’s trying to find the words to ask you what the hell is going on and you’re aware that he needs to be getting ready for qualifying like now, so you bite the bullet and just come out with it.

“Max I’m pregnant” you say before closing your eyes, not wanting to even see his reaction. You’re expecting shouting, frantic questions or denial; instead, you are met with silence. When your eyes open you are met with Max stood there white as a sheet looking like he was desperately trying not to pass out.

“I know this is a bit of a shock, but I haven’t... with anyone else so it’s definitely-” you go to assure him that you’re sure that the baby is his but are interrupted by a women walk up and stand in between the both of you.

“Hey baby I was looking for you everywhere” the woman spoke before wrapping her arms around Max and pulling Max into a hug. If Max looked like he was going to pass out before, he looked like he was about to drop down dead now.

“Hey Beth, I just came down for a coffee and bumped into Y/N, she’s Charles’ friend.” Max said, barely able to get the words out. The women, Beth, turned to look at you for the first time.

“Hi I’m Beth; Max’s girlfriend.” Beth said as she stuck her hand out for you to shake and you felt the feeling of nausea come back- Max having a girlfriend would make this whole situation a lot more complicated. You forced a smile and shook her hand, trying desperately not to need to be sick again.

“Oh Hi, yeah I’m Charles friend.” That’s a lie, you hadn’t spent more than a few hours with Charles in your life and he spent the majority of them with his tongue down Mia’s throat.

“How long have you been together?”

“2 years.” Beth’s words made your heart drop. Two years? There’s no way you could have heard that right. You look to Max for clarification that you misheard Beth, but he had his eyes closed, trying desperately to wish away this conversation.

“Beth, you go on I’ll just grab my coffee and come and catch up with you.” Max finally spoke up after a while of silence and even though Beth didn’t seem to like that idea very much, she did as he said and walked away. Once Max was sure she was out of earshot he began speaking again.

“Look I really can’t do this here. Text me the address of your hotel and I’ll come around tonight.” he told you before walking away. Maybe that was a positive thing, you thought to yourself, at least he wants to talk about it and not just pretend he didn’t hear you and move on.

You had been pacing around your hotel room since you arrived back after speaking to Max at the track, deeply regretting ever coming and telling him. With Max having a girlfriend there is almost no chance that he would want to be a part of your and Little Bump’s life, especially if he did cheat on his girlfriend with you like you assumed. The thought made you sick, you had been cheated on before and it killed you and to think that you played a part in her pain drove you insane. You were infuriated at Max; so, when he knocked on your door that night you were prepared to tear him a new one. But when he walked on the room in silence, looking like a man who had lost all hope, the anger you felt seemed to slip away.

“Are you sure?” he asked after a few moments of awkward silence between the two of you. His voice seemed so much weaker than you remembered it all those months ago, he didn’t look like a confident two-time world champion like he did when the two of you got in this mess, he looked small and frail.

“Yeah, Max, I’m sure. But I understand why you wouldn’t be able to just take my word for it so when Little Bump is born, I’m happy to do a paternity test”

“Little Bump?”

“Yeah, I haven’t found out the gender yet so that’s what I’ve been calling it.” You could have sworn you saw the smallest smile creep onto his face.

“Max, Beth said you had been together for two years, is that true?” You asked him and if there was a smile on his face before, there definitely wasn’t now.

“It is but we broke up for a bit, during the- well you know” he spoke, and you could feel your heart rate start to calm down. This situation isn’t good by any means but at least you weren’t involved in an affair.

“Look Max, I don’t expect anything from you. If you want me to go now I will, and you’ll never see me again. I don’t want money from you or anything like that. All I wanted was to give you a chance to be in Little Bump’s life.” You told him and braced yourself for him to confirm that he did indeed want you to leave and never come back.

“No. I do want to- I don’t really know what this is or how to do it but if I’m going to have a kid, I’m going to be there for it.” His words made you smile, even if this situation was messy and uncomfortable; it would all be worth it if you could give Little Bump a dad it would all be worth it.

“Okay well I’ve got a scan next week, you can come to that if you’d like?” you asked him, expecting him to say no, to tell you that he would be too busy but instead he surprised you.

“Yeah, I’ll be there”

Every day from that night in your hotel room to the day of the scan Max had texted you, checking up on you and Little Bump. Truly the last thing you had expected was that he would not only want to be a part of the baby’s life, but he seemed to actually care. Maybe this would all be okay, the two of you could co-parent and Little Bump would grow up with two parents who loved it. When the day of the scan came around, Max informed you that he would be picking you up early and taking you to lunch before your appointment to ‘get to know each other’. This made you more nervous that you cared to admit, the time you had spent with Max prior to this was short-lived and not filled with very much talking, hence why you were in this situation, so you really had no idea what kind of person he was or if the two of you would even get on., he could be an absolute arsehole for all you knew. But after only 30 minutes of spending time with him you realized that he was one of the sweetest people you had ever met

“So, how’s Beth?” you asked him once you were at the restaurant, curious to know if she had been made aware of the situation yet.

“She’s okay. I told her” Max said, his eyes fixed on his food in front of him, not daring to look up.

“Oh, how did that go?”

“It was pretty rough at first, she was really upset. But I think we’re going to make it work” He looked up at you this time and his eyes bore into you. The feeling of a lump in your throat made itself known but you swallowed it down; it’s not like you were jealous or anything but you were aware of how complicated this situation was going to be, and it would be made even more complicated with another person involved.

“That’s good then” you told him, forcing a smile, not wanting Max to catch on to your worries. Even if you did have reservations on how this whole situation would play out, so far Max had been nothing but helpful and co-operative, so you knew you owed it to him to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“So, I was thinking, we need to come up with some sort of plan as to how this is going to work” Max told you, looking very nervous.

“I grew up only living with my dad, and that meant I didn’t get to see my mum much at all and that was really hard. I didn’t really have a relationship with her until I was an adult, and the last thing I want is for the baby to have to go through that. I don’t want to have to wait 20 years to have a relationship with Little Bump” his voice dropped to a whisper for the last sentence, and you could see the pain in his eyes, this was clearly something that had been playing on his mind. Truthfully, you had no idea how this would work; Max lived in a different country to you, and he travelled so much for work, so it certainly wasn’t going to be easy. But looking into his worried eyes, you couldn’t help but want to assure him that everything would be okay. Across the table, Max sat with a haunted look in his eyes, his vulnerability on full display. You could sense the weight of his past trauma casting shadows over his usually confident exterior. As he picked at his food, his hands shook slightly, betraying the turmoil within. Max's voice, usually steady and assured, now carried a quiver that hinted at the lingering scars of childhood. You watched as he spoke, his words faltering at times, like a wounded child trying to find his way in a world that had once been unkind. With each sentence, it became evident that Max's past still clung to him, a heavy burden he struggled to bear. All you wanted to do was to reach across the table and hold him, to let him know that he doesn’t have to pretend to be strong.

“I can’t tell you what is going to happen Max, but I can promise you that we will make it work. Our baby will have two parents” the smile Max gave you in response to your words made your heart melt, and you couldn’t help feeling like things were going to work out.

“Okay Mum and Dad are we ready to see the baby?” The nurse asks you after placing the cold gel on your exposed stomach, ready to get the ultrasound going. As you both sat in the dimly lit ultrasound room, Max's eyes were fixed on the monitor, and his fingers trembled slightly as he held your hand. It was the first time he had witnessed the miracle of your growing baby, and the emotions that welled up inside him were impossible to contain. He tried his best to hide it, but a tear welled up at the corner of his eye, threatening to escape. The nurse moved the wand across your belly, and the image of your tiny, squirming baby filled the screen. Max's breath caught as he saw those delicate features, the tiny heart beating steadily. You could see the awe and love in his eyes, the way his lips curved into a soft smile that he couldn't suppress. Though he tried not to show it, his voice was tinged with emotion as he whispered, "That's our baby, Y/N." It was a moment of profound connection, and Max's unspoken feelings filled the room with a warmth that was as undeniable as the love you both felt for the new life growing within you.

Max couldn't shake the overwhelming emotions that had swelled up during the ultrasound. As you both walked out of the clinic, he stopped and took your hand, his eyes still filled with that deep, newfound love for the life growing inside you.

"Y/N," he began, his voice gentle and earnest, "I want you to move in with me. I want to be there for you and Little Bump, every step of the way. I want to take care of you both." You hesitated, your mind racing with practical concerns. You hardly knew Max, and he wanted you to move country and live with him. Even if you wanted to you couldn’t afford it, you’d have to leave your job which would mean no maternity pay. Plus, Max had a girlfriend, you couldn’t imagine her being too thrilled about her boyfriend moving in with another woman.

“Max, that’s sweet but it’s not possible. What about my job? What about Beth?” You asked, trying to make him see that this wasn’t rational, it wouldn’t work, but still Max's gaze remained unwavering.

"We'll figure it all out, Y/N. Beth will be okay with it, she will understand why this needs to happen. Please don’t worry about any of it, I want you to focus on your health and the baby's well-being. And as for your job, well, none of that matters. I can take care of us financially. I want to be there for my child, for you. Please, Y/N, say you'll move in with me."

Tears welled up in your eyes, not just from the pregnancy hormones but from the overwhelming love and support Max was offering. Maybe this was crazy, you thought to yourself, there's no way this would work; but when you looked into his eyes, you could see his sincerity, he really meant every word

So, against your better judgement, you nodded, a heartfelt smile breaking through. "Okay, Max. I trust you. Let's do this together."

The move happened quickly; Max was eager to make sure that he could look after you as much as he could. Your job wasn’t too happy at you for quitting so soon after receiving a promotion, your mum and dad thought you were completely insane. Until now you refused to tell them who the dad was, now all of a sudden not only is the Formula One world champion the dad but you’re also moving to Monaco to live with him. Although if you thought telling your parents was hard, telling Max’s was even worse. Meeting Jos Verstappen was an experience that you would never forget. Before you left Mia informed you that Jos was known for being very overbearing and having a very short temper; however, nothing she could have said would have prepared you for what was to come. It started with Max telling Jos multiple times to speak English rather than Dutch, so you weren’t just sat there witnessing the whole situation go down without any idea what they were saying. Then Jos became angry at Max for making such a horrible mistake, after that he became angry at you, alleging that you had planned this to trap Max and steal his money. Throughout the whole ordeal, Max was able to stay calm, gently telling his dad that he was happy and excited to be a father, however when Jos started on you Max’s patience was gone immediately. Telling his father that you weren’t like that and the two of you were happy and were going to raise this baby whether he liked it or not. You couldn’t help but notice that even when Max was clearly very angry at his father, he never once raised his voice or lost his temper, instead choosing to calmly explain the situation to him and let him know how it was going to go down. This, to you, was extremely reassuring, you were still getting to know Max and the person who he was; and every day he proved himself to be a good person, somebody who would be a great dad.

When you arrived at Max's apartment, you were taken aback by the thoughtfulness he had poured into preparing a room just for you. The soft hues of pastel blue and warm beige on the walls exuded a calming atmosphere, and a vase of fresh flowers sat on the bedside table. A plush blanket adorned the bed, and there was a selection of your favorite books on the shelf. He had clearly spoken to Mia to get this all prepared

"Max, this is incredible," you said, feeling deeply touched by his effort. "I never expected you to do all this." He smiled warmly and gestured toward a door at the end of the hallway.

"And this," he said, leading you to another room, "I thought it could be the nursery, but I wanted you to have a say in how we decorate it. I didn't want to presume anything."

Tears welled up in your eyes again, this time from the sheer care and consideration he had put into making you feel comfortable. Max was doing everything he could to ensure you and the baby felt at home.

"Max, you're amazing," you whispered, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

"Thank you for being so thoughtful and caring." He held you close, his embrace filled with love and reassurance.

"Y/N, I just want you and our baby to be happy here. Anything you need, just let me know." As you settled into your new home, you couldn't help but feel incredibly grateful for the man who was putting in a genuine effort to make you as comfortable as possible.

The first few days of living with Max had gone surprisingly smoothly, a peaceful coexistence that allowed you both to settle comfortably into your new life together. However, when Beth caught wind of the new arrangement, her arrival was swift and unexpected. You retreated to your bedroom to give them space, though overhearing the ensuing argument left you feeling uneasy. From your bedroom, you couldn't help but overhear the escalating argument between Max and Beth. Their voices carried the weight of frustration and anger as Beth expressed her displeasure about you living with Max.

"I just don't understand why you need to do this, Max," Beth said, her voice trembling with frustration. "I get that you want to be a part of the baby's life, but why does Y/N have to be part of ours?"

Max's response came, softer but firm, "Beth, I want to give our child the family life I never had. That means being there for Y/N and the baby."

Beth's anger didn't abate, and she retorted, "But what about us? What about our plans and our future?"

Max took a deep breath, his voice filled with resolve. "Right now, Y/N and the baby are my priority. I thought you'd understand."

As the argument reached a fever pitch, Beth eventually stormed out of the apartment, the door slamming shut behind her. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as you realized that your presence was causing tension in Max's relationship, even though he had been nothing but caring and supportive toward you.

Max, after a moment of silence, knocked on your bedroom door gently and entered. He looked tired but determined.

"Y/N, I'm sorry you had to hear that," he said, his eyes filled with regret. "But please understand, you and the baby mean the world to me right now. I want to do right by both of you."

You nodded, your own heart heavy with the knowledge that your presence was complicating Max's life. "I appreciate everything you're doing for us, Max."

He gave you a reassuring smile, reaching out to hold your hand. "We'll get through this together, Y/N. You and Little Bump are my family now, and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you both have everything you need."

As you looked into his eyes, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the unwavering support and love Max was offering, even if it meant navigating rocky waters in his personal life.

Later in the evening, there was a gentle knock on your bedroom door, and when you opened it, Max stood there with a somewhat downcast expression. “Do you want to do something, watch a movie or something maybe?” He asked, his voice much weaker than usual. You could tell that the earlier argument with Beth was still weighing on his mind. Although you were tired and had been ready to turn in for the night, you couldn't resist the opportunity to lift his spirits.

Seeing the need for a distraction, you smiled warmly at Max and said, "Of course, Max, I'd love to watch a movie with you." Your willingness to spend time with him despite your fatigue was a silent gesture of support, and it brought a grateful smile to his face.

Together, you made your way to the living room, choosing a film that promised both entertainment and distraction and settled into the cozy living room to share another memorable moment. The screen flickered to life, and as the movie started, you both found yourselves lost in the world of the film.

Laughter filled the room as you traded jokes and amusing commentary throughout the movie, creating an atmosphere of joy and connection. Max seemed to have a way of making you laugh, and his infectious humor was a delightful addition to the evening.

As the movie continued, you couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort and contentment sitting beside him. It was as if the worries and complications of life had momentarily melted away, leaving behind only the warmth of his presence. As the movie rolled on, the comfort of Max's presence began to take hold. The long day had left you weary, and you couldn't help but stifle a yawn. Max, ever attuned to your needs, glanced at you and seemed to understand. Wordlessly, he patted his lap, inviting you to lay your head there. With a grateful nod, you shifted closer, resting your head gently against his thigh. The soft fabric of his jeans felt warm and comforting against your cheek. As the movie's plot unfolded, Max's fingers, now tender and caring, began to play with your hair. The gentle strokes sent a cascade of shivers down your spine, and an unexpected sensation of butterflies fluttered in your stomach.

It was at that moment, as Max's fingers continued their soothing dance, that you began to question the nature of your feelings for him. Were they merely the result of his kindness and care during this challenging time, or was there something more profound at play? Trepidation crept in as you wondered if your feelings for Max were more than just those of a friend. You felt a pang of guilt, he was still with Beth after all. Uncertainty swirled within you as you mustered the courage to speak up.

"Max," you began hesitantly, "I hope I didn't cause any more trouble between you and Beth."

Max, who had been lost in thought, looked down at you, his eyes filled with understanding. He let out a sigh and replied, "It's probably over, Y/N. To be honest, it was never great anyway, which is why we took a break – you know when we-."

You offered an apologetic look, feeling torn between sympathy and concern for your growing feelings. "I'm sorry, Max. I didn't mean to complicate things."

Max's gaze softened, and he reassured you, "Don't worry about it, Y/N. The relationship wasn't very good, even before the break. You're not to blame."

As the movie played on, your head still nestled in his lap and his fingers continuing their gentle caress, you couldn't help but contemplate the complexity of your emotions. With a sense of unease and curiosity, you wondered if Max was becoming more than just a friend to you.

As the weeks turned into months, you couldn't shake the awkwardness that had crept in since you'd started to acknowledge your newfound feelings for Max. Your friendship with him meant the world to you, and you were determined not to jeopardize it. With the baby on the way, you knew you had to prioritize the stability and happiness of your growing family. So, you began to give yourself a bit of space from Max. You kept yourself busy with prenatal classes, doctor's appointments, and preparing for the arrival of your baby. The distraction of these tasks allowed you to maintain a semblance of normalcy in your life, even as your emotions remained tumultuous beneath the surface.

Max was away often for work and training anyway so that provided a convenient buffer and you could tell yourself that the physical distance was for the best, that it helped you maintain control over your feelings. However, as the due date rapidly approached and the Formula One season ended, he was home more often. It became increasingly challenging to avoid him, especially when he was eager to be a part of your pregnancy journey and offer his support.

Despite the swirling emotions within you, you couldn't deny that you still cherished his presence in your life. You wrestled with the guilt of harboring feelings for a man who was going above and beyond to look after you and Little Bump, but you also knew that the priority was providing your baby with a loving and stable environment. Balancing these conflicting emotions was a delicate dance, and as you found yourself spending more time with Max in preparation for the baby's arrival, the challenge of keeping your feelings in check grew more daunting with each passing day.

With your due date beginning to approach, the need to get the nursery ready became ever present so you decided to take on the task of building the flat packed crib that had been sitting in it’s box for the past few weeks. The crib's pieces lay strewn about, and you were carefully studying the instruction manual when Max entered the room. Seeing you hunched over the crib parts, Max immediately expressed his concern, his voice filled with care. "Y/N, you really should be resting right now. Let me handle this for you. You've been working so hard, and I don't want you to overexert yourself."

You appreciated Max's thoughtfulness, but you were determined to see this task through on your own. "Max, I want to do this. I need to know that I can handle things as a mum."

Max respected your determination but didn't want to see you pushing yourself too hard. After a brief back-and-forth, a compromise was reached. You both decided to tackle the crib assembly together, enabling you to feel like you were able to complete the task but also allowing Max to watch over you and ensure you and Little Bump were safe.

As the crib slowly started to take shape, you couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment at the thought of your baby soon resting in it. Max, however, was unusually quiet. His brow furrowed with a deep concern that had been lurking in the corners of his mind. You could sense that something was troubling him, and as you worked together to piece the crib together, you decided to broach the topic gently.

"Max, is everything alright?" you asked, your voice filled with care.

He sighed, setting down a wooden panel for a moment, and looked at you with a mixture of vulnerability and doubt. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just worried. I see the way you talk to your stomach, I know you’re going to be such a good mum to our Little Bump. I just don’t know if I’m going to be a good dad. I know how bad having a shit dad can fuck someone up, I just want more for my kid.”

Your heart ached for Max as you recognized the fear that had been gnawing at him. You set aside your own concerns and walked over to him, wrapping your arms around him in a comforting hug. "Max, the fact that you're so concerned about being a good dad proves that you're already on the right path. You care deeply, and that's the most important thing. We'll learn and grow together as parents, just like we've navigated everything else in our lives. You'll be an amazing dad because you want the best for our baby." Max held you close, his arms encircling you in a tight embrace. Being so close to him maybe wasn’t the best idea, but you could see how much he needed it.

Despite your ever-growing feelings for Max, you kept it to yourself, doing everything you could to ignore the way that you felt about the man you were now preparing to be parents with. Your due date was only weeks away when you started to feel like you were going crazy, so you did what every woman does when she’s dealing with unrequited love, you bore out your entire heart to your best friend whilst eating ice cream by the metric tonne.

“I just don’t know what to do Mia” you told your best friend over the phone one afternoon when Max was out getting supplies to finish decorating the nursery.

“I think you just need to tell him, be completely honest” her words made you sigh.

“Oh yeah so I just go up to him ‘hey Max I know we’re about to be parents and you’ve so kindly let me live in your house but I’m not happy just co-parenting with you, I love you and want to be with you, like a real family” You ranted to Mia but her response to you was cut off by a familiar voice laced with a Dutch accent speaking up.

“What?” Your neck snapped up violently at the sound of his voice, Max stood in the doorway of your bedroom his face painted with a look of shock.

Max's voice, tinged with both surprise and hurt, hung in the air, a heavy silence following his unexpected entrance into the conversation. You turned slowly, the phone clutched in your trembling hand, your eyes meeting his, wide with shock. The room seemed to shrink, and the air grew thick with tension as you realized he had overheard every word. His brows furrowed deeply, and he set the supplies he had been carrying onto the nearby table.

"You... love me?" he asked, his voice shaky as if grappling with the revelation. You nodded, your eyes now glistening with unshed tears, unable to speak. Max took a step closer, his eyes filled with a mixture of emotions, but the one that seemed to dominate was fear. "And you've been keeping this from me... all this time?"

You swallowed hard, your throat dry. "I was scared," you whispered, finally finding your voice. "I didn't want to jeopardize what we have, the baby, our plans. I thought if I kept it to myself, things would be easier."

Max ran a hand through his hair, clearly conflicted. "Easier? Do you think keeping something like this a secret is easier?"

His frustration was apparent, you could hear it as his voice gradually became louder and angrier and you couldn't blame him. You had betrayed his trust, and he had a right to be upset.

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you fought to hold them back. "I didn't know how you'd react, Max. I didn't want to push you away, especially not now when we should be focusing on preparing for the baby."

"I understand, but I can't believe you kept something like this from me, especially at a time like this." His voice was laced with frustration, he brought his hand up to his head, running his fingers through his hair

You nodded; your heart heavy with the intensity of his emotions. "I know, Max. I'm sorry; I should've been honest with you."

Max's frustration was apparent as he walked towards the door. "I need some space to think, and I don't know what this means for us right now."

With those words, he left the house, and you were left standing there, engulfed in a sea of turmoil. Panic took hold of you as you realized the enormity of what had just transpired. You had pushed Max away, and now you feared it might be too late to salvage your relationship.

In the wake of Max's departure, the silence in the house became oppressive. Anxiety and self-doubt swirled in your mind, and you couldn't bear to stay there any longer. The urge to seek refuge with your parents, where you could find solace and guidance, became irresistible.

In a manic rush, you hurriedly packed a bag with essentials, your heart racing with every passing second. Tears streamed down your face as you considered the drastic step you were about to take. With trembling hands, you purchased a last-minute plane ticket back to your hometown.

The minutes felt like an eternity, but you were finally on your way to the airport. You left a hurried note for Max, explaining your need to be with family during this turbulent time. With your heart in your throat, you headed to the airport, driven by a frantic need to escape the chaos you had unleashed.

The plane took off, carrying you away from the life you had built with Max, and the turbulence within you mirrored the journey. The fear of losing Max and the desperation for a fresh start with your parents guided you on this unexpected and tumultuous path.

Max returned home the next day, his heart heavy with concern and regret. The house felt emptier than ever, and the silence only intensified his panic. He rushed to find his phone, fingers trembling as he tried to dial your number. But to his dismay, there was no answer on the other end. He left a voicemail, pleading for you to call him back as soon as you could.

In his frantic state, Max's mind raced to find a solution. He knew he needed to find you, to make things right. He decided to call Charles, hoping he might have some insight or connection to your whereabouts.

"Charles," Max said, his voice tight with anxiety, "I need your help. I can't reach Y/N. She's left, and I don't know where she's gone. Do you have Mia's number?"

Charles, understanding the urgency in Max's tone, reluctantly provided Mia's number. Max immediately dialed it and hoped that Mia might have some answers. Mia answered after a few rings, and Max wasted no time

"Mia, it's Max. I can't get through to Y/N. Do you know where she is? I need to talk to her."

Mia's voice held a hint of worry as well. "I haven't heard from her since yesterday either, Max. She seemed really upset when you left. Let me give you her family's number; maybe they know something."

Max was grateful for Mia's help as she provided him with your family's contact information. He dialed the number, his heart pounding in his chest. After a few rings, someone on the other end finally picked up.

"Hello?" a voice answered.

Max didn't waste any time. "Hi, this is Max. I'm looking for Y/N. She left a note saying she was going to see her family, but I haven't heard from her since. Is she with you?"

There was a moment of confusion on the other end, followed by a sense of concern. "Max, I'm sorry, but we haven't heard anything about Y/N planning to visit us. Are you sure she's on her way here?"

Max's panic deepened as he realized you hadn't reached your family, and he had no idea where you were. "I... I don't know. I'm really worried about her. If you hear from her, please let her know I'm looking for her and that I want to talk."

Max hung up the phone, his mind filled with anxiety. He was determined to find you and make things right, but at that moment, he felt utterly lost without any leads to follow.

As Max anxiously paced around the house, his worst fears were consuming him. He kept checking his phone, desperately hoping for a call or message from you. Every moment felt like an eternity, and the silence was deafening.

Then, suddenly, his phone rang. It was your mum. Max's heart pounded in his chest as he answered the call, his voice trembling as he spoke, "Hello?"

Your mum's voice was filled with worry and fear. "Max, it's Y/N’s mum. We just got a call from the hospital. She passed out at the airport, the staff found her and phoned an ambulance. We don't have many details yet, but we're on our way there now."

Max's world seemed to spin as he struggled to process the shocking news. "Is she okay? What happened? The baby?" he stammered.

Your mum's voice cracked with emotion as she replied, "We don't know, Max. They didn't tell us much over the phone. We're on our way to the hospital to find out."

Max hung up the call, his hands shaking. Panic and fear gripped him as he realized the severity of the situation. He couldn't waste another moment. He immediately dialed his private jet service to book a flight to the hospital as soon as possible, not caring about the cost or inconvenience. All that mattered was getting to you and Little Bump

Within minutes, the arrangements were made, and Max was on his way to the airport, his mind filled with a whirlwind of worry and thoughts of you. Time was of the essence, and he could only hope and pray that he would find you safe and sound at the hospital.

Max's heart was racing as he landed and rushed to the hospital your mum had mentioned. Fear and uncertainty gnawed at him as he sprinted through the sterile hospital corridors, the tension in the air growing with each step. He finally found your room, where your parents were anxiously waiting just outside.

Breathing heavily, Max approached them, his voice shaking as he spoke, "What happened? Is she okay?"

Your mum stepped forward; her eyes red-rimmed from worry. "Max, she had a seizure, she had eclampsia, they needed to perform an emergency c-section"

Max's heart seemed to stop for a moment, but he needed to know more. "Is she... Is the baby okay?"

Your dad stepped in, his expression a mix of relief and concern. "Both Y/N and the baby are okay, Max. They're in recovery now."

Max barely let them finish their explanation before he rushed into your room. There you were, sitting in a hospital bed, clearly still groggy from the medications they had administered.

Max's eyes filled with tears as he approached you, his voice choked with emotion. "I was so scared, Y/N. Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

You blinked at him, your vision still hazy. "Max? What... happened?"

He took your hand gently, his thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped his eye. "You had a seizure, but you and the baby are okay. That's all that matters."

Max's relief was palpable, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to touch your face, his love and concern pouring forth. In that moment, nothing else in the world mattered but the fact that you and the Little Bump.

Max approached the bassinet where the baby lay, his heart pounding with a mixture of trepidation and excitement. With great care, he gently lifted the small, fragile form into his arms. As he cradled the tiny bundle close to his chest, a sense of wonder washed over him.

He peered down at the baby's face, her features so delicate and new. The room seemed to fade away as he focused entirely on this precious, little life he now held in his arms. Max's eyes glistened with tears of joy and awe, his heart overflowing with emotions he had never experienced before.

Every detail of the baby's face captivated him – her button nose, her rosebud lips, and her wisps of soft hair. He marveled at her innocence and vulnerability, realizing that he was now responsible for this tiny, perfect soul.

With quivering lips, Max whispered softly, "You're a girl." The realization of this new chapter in his life, the responsibility of being a father to a daughter, filled him with a profound sense of purpose and love.

He held her close, feeling her small chest rise and fall with each gentle breath. The bond he shared with his newborn daughter was a miracle that left him in awe. In that intimate moment, Max understood the beauty and fragility of life, and he couldn't help but smile, knowing that he was ready to embrace the journey of parenthood with all the love and dedication he could muster.

Max held his precious daughter close, her small form cradled in his arms. He gazed down at her, the overwhelming love he felt for her and for you filling his heart. With a tenderness that could only come from a father's love, he whispered, "I love you, [Your Name]. I love our baby, and I'm so excited to start this new chapter of our lives together as a family, a real family."

He could see that you were still fairly out of it, but he couldn't help but share his feelings in this moment. As he watched the baby's peaceful slumber, he asked, "What should we name her?"

You fought against sleep, your eyelids heavy, but you managed to murmur, "Sophie."

Max's eyes widened with surprise and joy. "Sophie? Like my mum?"

With a weak but loving smile, you nodded. "Yeah, our daughter, Sophie Verstappen."

Max's heart swelled with pride and love as he looked at his newborn daughter, Sophie. In that moment, as you drifted into slumber, he felt a profound sense of gratitude for the family he was building with you, a family that now included the beautiful Sophie Verstappen.

As you drifted off to sleep, with Max sat beside you cradling your new-born daughter in his arms, you couldn't help but reflect on how your life had transformed for the better. It was a change that had been set into motion by just two lines on a pregnancy test. Two lines and your life was completely and irrevocably changed, and you couldn’t be happier.

Taglist-

@sebastiansstanswhore @ironmaiden1313 @itsjustkhaos

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #formula 1 #max verstappen x y/n #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #formula one x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 fanfic

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natsukishinomiyaswife · 5 months

Text

⋆ 𝓔𝓻𝓲𝓬 𝓥𝓮𝓷𝓾𝓮: 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓕𝓲𝓵𝓶 ⋆

Eric Venue x Reader - May be OOC due to lack of information, I love this man ♡

⋆ You had known Eric for a while now, working with him on various films. Though you were only a staff member, he was always kind, greeting you and making small talk whenever he had time. He was different from the other stars you worked with, never demanding or rude. He treated everyone with respect, no matter if they were a costar or crew member, taking the time to talk with whoever he could. You could hear him laughing as he got his makeup done, or joking around as he got ready in wardrobe. It was surprising the first time you saw him on set, a contrast to the serious action role he would always play. You'll never forget when filming ended that day, how he had called out your name and waved you goodbye. You hadn't expected him to remember, let alone ask what it was.

⋆ As time went by he would continue to surprise you, talking with you more and more whenever you worked together. You would bring him a coffee as he got his hair done, Eric thanking you and starting a conversation. If you were busy he wouldn't keep you, understanding you had a job to do. If you had time though, he would offer for you to stay, wanting to chat with you while he got ready. You would never talk about anything serious, just general things, like how your day was going, or what you were having for dinner later on. He would always remember, asking you the next day of filming how it was, or if your day was any better.

⋆ One morning he showed up on set earlier than he was scheduled, a coffee in one hand and a drink for you in the other. It was what you would always drink, your favorite drink to have in the morning. You thanked him, heart racing as he assured you it was nothing, continuing on with your work. It wasn't until you were leaving for the day that you realized you had never told him what you liked, your face growing warm at the thought. The idea of him paying attention to you, noticing you and what you would drink...it left your mind racing as you went to bed that night.

⋆ While he was a private person, you knew he had a son, having heard about him throughout the years. You may not know his name, or what he looked like, but you knew how proud Eric was of him, his face softening and voice fond whenever he brought him up. You felt honored the first time he spoke of him, talking about how his son got accepted into a prestigious academy for magicians. He was shining with pride as he told you, going on to discuss how talented he is, and how he couldn't wait to hear how his first day went. As you listened you couldn't help but smile, his enthusiasm contagious as you congratulated him, wishing his son well at his new school. You knew better than to pry, grateful that Eric was willing to tell you this much. It was your lack of questions that encouraged Eric to speak of him more, enjoying how nice it was to speak with someone who respected his privacy, who wouldn't hound him for more.

⋆ The first time Eric brought you up was during his weekly call with Vil, having mentioned you offhand without realizing it. He would continue to bring you up each time they talked, Vil becoming curious the more he spoke of you. His father had never spoken of anyone like this before, always focusing on his career and being a parent. The way he talks about you, it almost seems like...

"Sounds like you have a crush," Vil says, interrupting the story his father was telling him. Eric's voice tampers off as he goes quiet, the line silent for a moment before he laughs, "I'm too old for crushes, Vil," dismissing the idea.

⋆ Yet, the thought never leaves him, Vil's words sitting in the back of his mind. Even though you only saw each other on set, talking with you made him feel like a person, like he wasn't a famous actor. He never feels like a celebrity as you laugh and joke with each other, he never worries about his image as he eats with you instead of in his trailer. Just being able to talk with someone about how he's doing, about Vil, without fear of it being in the tabloids the next day, was something he was grateful for. He had to hold his tongue when you told him you would be working with Vil on a commercial, excited to be working with him for the first time. The pride he felt as you talked about his acting, how much you enjoyed his films, left him itching to join in. That's my son, he thinks, isn't he amazing? Isn't he talented? He stays quiet though, soaking in your words as he realizes Vil may be right. Perhaps he's not too old for crushes after all...

⋆ You couldn't help but notice how Vil would stare at you throughout working together, almost like he was staring through you rather than at you. You wondered what you could have done to cause this reaction from him, having only met him that day. You were surprised when he approached you after filming ended, his arms crossed as he stared. It was like he was examining you, looking at you from head to toe. You were unsure what to do, ready to say something until he spoke, breaking the silence.

"So, you're Name, correct?" You nod, telling him yes as he continues,

"I heard you've been a staff member for quite some time now, working with plenty of celebrities. Tell me, have you ever worked with Eric Venue, by chance?"

You pause for a moment, processing his question before confirming, telling him you have worked with Eric before. A small smile comes to his face at your response, coming a little close towards you.

"I hear he's a very private person, never talking about his personal life. Since you've worked with him before, I'm curious...have you heard anything about him?"

You shake your head, telling him you haven't heard anything. You go on to say that anything Eric has told you is confidential, and that if Vil wishes to know something, he would need to ask Eric himself directly.

⋆ Vil looks displeased, going on to ask if you'd be willing to tell him for money, which you automatically decline, repeating what you told him before. After a moment a smile comes to Vil's face, looking pleased as he nods his head, making you feel like you passed some sort of test. The smile stays on his face as he wishes you a good day, leaving you standing there in confusion, wondering what that was about. As you're getting ready for bed that night you get a text from an unknown number, the person claiming to be Eric. You call the number to confirm, hearing him laugh on the other end as he tells you it's his personal number, leaving you in disbelief. Before the call ends, he asks if you'd like to get a coffee with him tomorrow, your heart racing as you agree. Little did you know just how important your first meeting with Vil was, leading to the start of your relationship with Eric.

⋆ Other than Vil, you were Eric's best kept secret, the public unaware you were together. You didn't care that your relationship had to be private, that you couldn't be shown off like most celebrities do with their partners. What you cared about was Eric, the man who remembered anything you would tell him, even noticing things you never mentioned. Eric, the man you could laugh and joke with, always having a good time. Eric, the man who cares deeply for those close to him, wanting them to be happy without worrying about the public having eyes on them.

⋆ It wasn't until you were together for a while that he decided to introduce you to his son, telling you he would be coming home soon for winter break. You knew how big this was, his son being the most important thing in his life. It showed just how much he cared for you, just how much he trusted you. This was HUGE. You couldn't help but stress out over it, wanting to make a good first impression. It wasn't until you opened the door that you realized Oh, his son is Vil Schoenheit ♡

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡

Tag list: @midnightmah07

#♡.sheep writes #♡.twst #♡.eric venue #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #eric venue #eric venue x reader #twst spoilers

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multicohn · 27 days

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summary: a certain grand prix brings up memories of how paul and y/n got together

warnings: none

pairing: fem! reader x paul aron

genre: fluff

face claim: no one in particular

author note: writing about a driver who is the same age as me is lowkey kinda crazy ngl, like wdym we’re born in the same year?

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tomorrow would be the start of the grand prix that brought y/n and paul together. though they’ve been dating for almost a year, the pair acted as if they’ve been together much longer.

y/n had always wished to have a boyfriend, but never expected it to actually happen; much less be in a relationship with a professional athlete. she never stood out much during school and was always a second option, but somehow y/n found herself with someone who loved her unconditionally.

paul has always wanted to entertain the idea of having a girlfriend, especially when it’s all his friends can talk about, but he also wanted to focus on his career and didn’t believe he could juggle both yet. his friends encouraged to find someone who would be able to understand him on a deeper level then they or his family ever could, but paul didn’t have any interest in the girls his friends tried to set him up with. he was thankful for that as he might’ve never met y/n.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

flashback

it was an ongoing thing between y/n and her cousin that if they didn’t have anyone to go with them to something — by default the other would be their plus one. it bonded them together throughout the years and even if they were going somewhere with someone already, an invitation would still reach the other.

motorsports in general has never been an interest to anyone y/n knew, but one day her cousin had been searching for something to watch and decided on giving “formula 3” a go while waiting for her show to start. originally labelling them as “the funny looking race cars”, y/n’s cousin grew to have an interest with the sport and planned months ahead to attend a grand prix. she knew y/n would never say no unlike her friends who thought watching people drive around in circles sounded utterly boring — “it’s like watching paint dry,” they said.

y/n didn’t have interest in it, but was willing to expand her knowledge into her cousin’s newest interest.

and it was definitely… new.

seeing her cousin so excited wasn’t a new thing, but she hadn’t been this way over a sporting event in ages.

the pair had decided on splitting up to try and get more signatures, but y/n wondered just how many could really fit on the hat.

“excuse me, can you sign my hat? please?” paul happily took the hat from her without looking before signing his name and giving it back. she thanked him and wished him lucked which caused paul to raise his head in order to thank her back kindly, but froze upon seeing y/n smile at him.

“um- ye-yeah thanks” paul watched as she shuffled back into the crowd and slowly disappeared as other fans moved in to ask for his signature

“damn” he thought before reaching out to sign someone’s shirt

y/n found her cousin who was overjoyed at getting so many signatures and y/n couldn’t help but smile at seeing her so happy. they then made their way towards their seats that were quite far, but had been the cheapest and her cousin was sick of setting up blankets, chairs, tents or gazebos.

the races were good and her cousin was more than excited to explain things that y/n didn’t understand.

“come on” her cousin pulled her towards the track

paul happily stepped onto the second place podium and scanned the crowd in hopes of spotting the pretty girl that had asked to sign her hat earlier. his smile broadened upon seeing her behind the fence that separated the race track and pit lane.

y/n glanced over at her cousin who leaned on her shoulder as the national anthem of the first place winner played before looking back up at paul aron. she wondered why he kept glancing in their direction, but shrugged it off; surely, he wasn’t looking at her — she isn’t that delusional.

once they finished spraying each other with the non-alcoholic champagne, paul quickly rushed towards his manager while the pair took some quick pictures of each other on the race track.

“excuse me?” y/n looked up from her phone to see an older woman wearing the familiar uniform of one of the race teams

“hi, can we help you?” her cousin asked politely

“I think you dropped this?” she handed y/n a folded up flyer to which she furrowed her eyebrows at but thanked the strange woman and took it

“no problem” y/n looked at her cousin who shrugged before unfolding it and reading what was written

xxx - xxx - xxx

our driver thought you were pretty ;)

her cousin cooed, but y/n just shook her head. she didn’t believe someone would like her and thought it was a joke, a prank even. why would someone like paul aron be interested in her? she doubted it was zak o’sullivan or dino beganovic since she never interacted with them today and maybe that was why paul kept looking in their direction?

“no, don’t get your hopes up y/n” she stared at the number, unsure about what to do

“let’s text it”

of course, her cousin would say that.

“no”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“you okay?” y/n nodded and looked towards her boyfriend who adjusted his race suit

“just reminiscing about last year, remember when my cousin texted you?” paul rolled his eyes and sat down beside her

“hey, cutie. i lost my number, glad i can have yours with a winking emoji. yes, i remember it very clearly since i thought it was you”

y/n conversed with paul through her cousin for a while before being confident in actually communicating with him. surprisingly, he didn’t find the way she texted boring or annoying and found it quite funny how exaggerated y/n’s cousin is. they became good friends ( after a rather dark topic about if he hurts y/n in any way, shape, or form, she knows how to hide a body ) and she was glad that the people she cared about the most became close.

“paul, it’s time to go” he nodded and stood up before helping y/n who smiled lightly

“good luck” she gave him a kiss on the cheeks which caused paul to blush and smile before dino had to come over and literally pull him away from loving admiring his girlfriend

#f1 #formula 1 #formula one #paul aron #paul aron x reader #paul aron x you #paul aron x y/n #paul aron imagine #f2 #formula 2 #formula 3 #f3 #pa17 #f3 x reader #formula 3 x reader #i love him

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starsomens · 7 months

Note

imagining being one of the openers for BMTH along with Bad Omens and noah slowly developing a crush on you just from watching you from the side of the stage and how confident you look while singing your songs on stage 🫶🏻🫶🏻🥰

When you heard that you were opening For bring me the horizon you were ecstatic. But once you had heard that you were also going to be interacting with bad omens, you nearly had a heart attack.

Just like bad omens, you were a new upcoming band who honestly had some great success with your previous album. Due to shows and locations you couldn’t meet these two amazing artist separately, but it seems like your dreams were coming true all in one tour!

Today was the first night you were opening them and you were so excited but extremely nervous. You could feel your hands and feet sweating every second. You had gotten closer to being done in your dressing room. You were supposed to meet up with both Oli and Noah before the show go over kind of routines, and course to meet both of them

much like Noah before you had gotten into your singing career you were a big fan of bringing me the horizon since you were a teenager. And once you had heard about Bad Omens and started to get into their music, you could not deny the raw talent that this band was bringing to the industry

Usually these types of things because you were really worried about making a good impression with them.

“Y/N, will be leaving in about five minutes are you almost ready?” Your sister and best friend had come to check on you. Since you’re growing fame, your best friend had helped you to manage yourself the team and honestly this entire production on your end. And what was even better was that she remains as an amazing friend when you needed one.

A friend who also like to tease about having a crush on both of the boys, and that was why you were so nervous to meet them

“ I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be” you looking over your make up one more time and standing up for your seat. You straighten out your outfit with one less overlook and you were ready to go

Except you weren’t expecting to see them right outside in the hallway, once you stepped out of your dressing room. They took your bed by surprise, but you just laughed it off. You extend your hand to greet both of them and thanked Oli once again for having you on this tour.

While oli was looking over some stage, set up details from his team you and Noah actually started a conversation.

“ so how does it feel from going from small venues to something so big like the arena?”

You chuckle at his question “ well, I could ask you the same thing couldn’t I?”

His eyes widen with amusement “oooo Shot it right back at me, huh?” he laughs making you giggle as well

“ but if I’m honest, I’m really nervous this is going to be our biggest audience yet. I’m honestly used to goofing around with smaller audiences and it’s so intimate and so little pressure but now I just really feel the pressure I guess?”

This was the first time Noah was ever had in conversation with you and that blush that you had gotten over worrying about how well you perform was honestly adorable to him

“ Well, I think you’ll be fine. I saw some of your other performances and the control you have over the crowd is honestly impressive.” he compliments as you are being given your stage equipment

"You got this, watch!" Noah encourages you as he watches you focus and take in some deep breaths and clear your mind. You check your ear piece and mic once more before it was just about that time

Just like any other show you had performed at, you clear your mind, relax, and let go.

Noah watches you from the side of the stage and was amazed. You had an amazing stage presence, your energy was non-stop, your connection with the crowd was infectious

and your voice, it was so crips and light yet so powerful

"She's good ain't she?" Oli nudged him

"yeah she's amazing!" Noah agrees as they clap with the crowd, you were so nervous before, but you perform as if you own the stage, this was your world and everyone just existed in it

And the way you closed out your opening was fantastic, you music perfectly flowing into the start of Bad Omen's music, meaning they'd be on in just a minute or two. You come rushing off the stage out of breath, slightly sweaty

Noah hands you a bottle of cold water to help cool you off

"I told you, you'd do great" he said in an 'I told you so tone' you smile at him and gulp down the water. He was on next and you knew he was going to murder his performance

You watch on the side of the stage in awe at his pure talent, all of them really. Nick's energy on the drums, Noah's Vocals, Jolly's finger work on the guitar and of course Ruffilo on the bass really sews it all in

But there was something about his stage aura that was so...hypnotic. He was almost like a siren out at sea, and you were drawn in so easily

Overall first night went very well, and you ended up getting some take out to celebrate and had gotten to know one another while sharing a meal and so on and so forth went the tour

But Noah was different

Each night he just couldn't wait to see you on stage. He'd get to your dressing room, walk down to the stage, sometimes a bit early just to talk some more and then he'd watch you from the side of the stage. He might as well be in the crowd enjoying you as a fan at this point

There were times you'd just look out into the crowd without saying a word and he would just watch the screen and study your face. Had it always been that alluring to him?

He counted the number on moles on your face, the way your eyes would crinkle when you smiled, how you'd bite your lip whenever you heard the crowd singing the lyrics

and that voice, he could not get enough of it! He felt as if you were calling to him, singing for him to come closer to you, it was beautiful and sharp and addictive, it was if his cheers became louder and louder each performance

and then there were those times where you'd sing a much more mellow and slow song. Your breath and tone shifts could lull him to sleep so easily. If you had told him to walk out on stage with your singing he'd do it without thinking

You were.....wonderful....

............he had a crush didn't he?

There was just something about you in the way you had dried him in. Whether you were on stage or you guys were just hanging out talking about some anime.

It was also clear to everyone around him that he was developing a little crush. The rest of his band, and even Oli were teasing him about the way he would look at you.

They were even times where they tried to distance themselves from the group, one by one so that he was the only one left with you. They had never seen no one blush so much or stumble over his words, then when he was with you.

It was amusing to them. But wanted to give him his best advice because he knew this tour and collaboration wouldn’t last forever

“ when you get a chance and it’s just you too you need to say something. Or you’ll never get the chance again. So either you make move or someone else does.”

“ and if she says no?”

“ well then you have three more shows too absolutely seduce her on stage” he laughs “ but really, trust me, she’ll say yes, I know she will”

So Noah gathered up the courage to ask you after your final set together. Tonight was different since all three of you would be performing on stage together after a very successful and honestly tiring show it was time for your team to start packing your things to go your own way.

Noah was waiting for the perfect moment when you would be by yourself so he could approach you. He had even gone out and bought a small hand of roses for you. Once you had gone into your dressing room, he went to knock on the door. Knowing that usually after shows you go in the dressing room to settle yourself and breathe for a minute or two.

You tell him to enter, and he closes the door behind him with roses behind his back

“Hey There rockstar” what was that??

you giggle and spinning your chair “hello to you too, today was a really great show you you guys did amazing”

Not as amazing as you “ Yeah, it was really fun performance…. You did great”

“ not as great as you. I can sing by death can’t reach those amazing vocals like you do” you complement him. You made his heart give a beat, and he was the one who was supposed to do that to you! It was never

“ I’m not gonna be around the bush I do want to talk to you about something..” he starts off a few steps closer to you and bring the roses from around his back

Your mouth falls slightly, and he could swear he saw sparkles in your eyes when you saw the flowers

“I-I think you’re amazing. Not only as an artist but as a person too. You’re so fun, and really, really, really pretty, so talented…. And I know we only know each other so much because of the tour but I really like to get to know you once we have more time….” a soft smile after he was done, and you were speechless.

You didn’t know what to saying, you could feel your heart skipping a beat impractically, trying to jump out of your chest

you take a hold of the roses and give them sniff. They smell so fresh and sweet. you stand from your chair and take a step just a bit closer to Noah. Your cheeks were burning, but somehow mustard to say.

“ I’d love to Noah, thank you” you smile at him, and he can only offer you a bigger smile with a nervous chuckle that follows.

He still can’t believe that he nailed that without tripping over his words and just professing his love for you right on the spot, but he was excited where this would eventually go. You unfortunately were called to another area on the set to look at some things before you’re ready to go later that night, you both bid your goodbyes sharing a long hug.

This time the hug had something extra in it and he felt something different and so did he. If he could have, he would’ve wanted to hold you much longer but you had to go. He did offer to walk you down to where you have to go so you did. And along the way, you both made plans and shared your next steps after the Europe tour.

Make sure to exchange numbers and any kind of social media to keep in touch. You also gave him your address in case if he might have wanted to drop by once things were clear on both of your schedules, of course

“ Well, it looks like this is where we say goodbye,” you honestly have felt a little sad, even though you were only touring for a couple shows together, but you just couldn’t help the feeling that in your chest

“ yeah, but I’ll talk to you soon. Give me a text when you land?” he offers and you know your head. Before you walk off, you make the decision to shoot up onto your tiptoes and plant a kiss on his cheek.

“ Thanks again for the great experience” you smile at him as you walk away, with a slight bounce your step. Noah was frozen in his place as he watched you walk away. Little did he know he had some eyes watching him.

The rest of his band, and even Oli were trying to keep their giggles at a minimum as they whisper to each other

“ he finally did it! He grew some balls and even got a kiss out of it!” They congratulated him in their own way

As much as wanted to back them, all he could really think about. Was you and the kids you had given him. The idea of never washing that spot until you guys met again. Even crossed his mind. But until then he’d make sure to clear his schedule to at least get a phone call in Later on

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @leneisdown @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @itsmrsfuentes @lma1986 @daylightlvrs @darling-millicent-aubrey

#bad omens #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #noahsebastian #badomens #bad omens band #noah sebastian x reader #star’s mutuals✨#star’s anons✨#bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfic #bmth bring me the horizon

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show-your-fangs · 1 year

Note

I hate seeing sad Hotch but what about Hotch being sad and feeling he’s inadequate but reader does a BIG/GRAND gesture and hotch is floored and becomes like cute puppy hotch and is all like 🥺

this was such a phenomenal request, i just had to add a sprinkle of angst and hurt/comfort bc i am a whore. hope you like it!

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x f!Reader

Words: 1.3k

CW: sad, very very sad, angst, sad boy aaron

Tags/warnings: established relationship, lover boy Hotch, reader works at the BAU but isn't a profiler (just in case you haven't read Moments), self-deprecating thoughts, Aaron thinking he's not good enough for Reader, fear of abandonment, Aaron crying, Reader comforts Aaron, super cute ending.

a/n: I imagine this is Moments AU Aaron and Reader after their relationship comes to light and they’re just dating and working together like adults after almost a year of secrecy, so it’s “new” in the sense that they’ve been public for only a few months.

Disclaimer: YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE ELSE WITHOUT MY CONSENT. REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED THOUGH. YOU MAY NOT FEED MY WORK TO ANY AI DATABASES OF ANY KIND OR TO USE MY WORKS TO TRAIN AI. FUCK AI.

You hadn’t spoken to him all day, avoided him at all cost, not once stole a single glance at his office, at him. He didn’t think it was strange at first, you were both rushing to finish a mountain of paperwork that had just come in.

He even ignored the fact that you hadn’t sought him out to have lunch together, claiming you were going out to run an errand. But then you left work early, so early in fact that the sun was still out. That’s when he began to panic.

He knew he’d been a little distant recently. He’d had to miss your weekly date night twice, the second time having been the rescheduled date that he was convinced he’d be able to make. But no matter, he’d been called into a meeting just as the two of you were leaving the office.

You’d been understandably upset. When he returned home to his apartment where you’d been waiting for him for the past few hours, you immediately got into a very heated argument, one that as much as he knew was coming, was still incredibly painful.

But that had been a couple of weeks ago, you’d worked through it, talked it out, were done fighting about that. Or at least he thought so.

He knew he was lucky to be with you, unbelievably lucky in fact, and he tried to often show you just how much he appreciated you sticking around after everything he’d been through, after everything you’d been through together.

And yet he couldn’t help but feel like you would be so much better without him, that if he wasn’t holding you back you could be doing so much better. Your career had stalled because of your relationship with him, you were stuck in an endless cycle of having to comfort him, reassure him that everything was going to be alright when he should be the one doing this for you.

He’d caught you laughing, unrestricted, completely set ablaze by emotion a few days ago, and what had struck him hardest about such a normal display of happiness was that he couldn’t remember when he’d made you laugh like that last.

You deserved the world, deserved someone who would show up for you, who would sacrifice everything for you, and as much as he wanted to be that person, he was also terrified of what he would have to do in order to become it.

But he really wanted to, truly wanted to try, to make this work, to prove to you that he could do it, that he could be the man you needed him to be.

He’d left the office the earliest he’d had in a while, making an effort to leave the paperwork he hadn’t been able to get through on his desk. He could get to it tomorrow morning. Tonight he would show up for you, to his apartment where he knew you’d be waiting after you’d unofficially moved in a week earlier.

He had plans to surprise you with dinner from your favorite restaurant, draw you a nice bath, and practically spend the rest of the evening on his knees, worshiping you like a goddess until you simply couldn’t take it anymore.

He was practically buzzing all the way up to his apartment, excitement washing over him like a drug, euphoric and calming. He’d opened the door quietly, not wanting to alert you of his presence quite yet.

But when he finally took in the room, fully dissected what he was seeing, the bag of take out, his keys, and his work bag fell from his hands, loudly banging against the wooden floor.

You practically bolted out of the room, terrified, like a deer caught in headlights. You only calmed down when you noticed it was him, the hand that held a hair brush like a weapon lowering as a realization flashed over your features.

He’d caught you in the act, caught you in the middle of…packing your bags and leaving him.

No, this couldn’t be happening to him, not again, not like this, not you.

“Honey,” he managed, his voice unbelievably small, on the verge of breaking apart. “What– we can talk about this, please, don’t– please don’t leave me.”

Your brows scrunched in confusion, slowly straightening, readying yourself for what you believed would be another fight. That’s when your eyes darted towards the spilled containers on the floor, his keys and bag to the other side of him, discarded.

“I know I messed up, I know I shouldn’t have gone to that meeting, I should have told Strauss to wait until the morning,” his voice was cracking, pathetically, and he wanted nothing more than to have this conversation in the most composed way possible.

But he had not prepared himself to find you like this, to find you in the same way he’d found Hayley all those years ago. Only then it had been his things, and tonight they were yours, and that somehow stung him even harder because last time it had been her kicking him out of her life, and tonight it was you removing yourself from his.

You still didn’t move, your confusion slowly starting to turn to concern as he dropped to his knees in front of you, quite literally getting on his knees to beg you to stay.

“I don’t want you to leave me, honey,” he pleaded. “Please stay, I promise I’ll do better, I’ll do whatever you want me to just please don't leave me.”

His hands wrapped around your legs then, face pressed against your stomach as he couldn’t stop the tears from pouring any longer. His entire body shaked, trembled, quacked against your own, his arms keeping you in place, stopping you from moving anywhere, even if you wanted to.

“Baby,” you whispered and he only tightened his grip. So you stood there, let him get it all out as you gently ran your fingers over his scalp, shushing him gently as he sobbed.

A few long minutes later, the sobs subsided into light tears and he let you unwrap his arms from you. You dropped down to your knees in an instant, cupping his face in your warm hands and pulling his gaze up to meet yours.

“I’m sorry, baby,” you told him, wiping the wetness off his face with your thumbs. “I didn’t know this was bothering you so much, I thought we were done fighting about that.”

He let out a shaky breath, taking in the words you’d just said, allowing them to reassure his rapidly beating heart.

“You’re not leaving?”

“No, baby,” you smiled softly. “I wanted to surprise you,” you turned your body to the hallway leading towards his room, his own bags packed by the door. “I got Rossi to approve some time off for both of us – an entire week of sipping margaritas by the beach at one of Morgan’s friend’s resorts.”

His arms wrapped tightly around your waist then, pulling you further into him. “When did you– how did you? Why–”

“You’re right, that fight was awful, and I realized we both just needed some time alone together. To decompress and reconnect, just the two of us. What do you think?”

“I think that I don’t deserve you,” he confessed, the smallest hint of a joke desperately trying to hide the truth behind his words.

“Oh, but you do, Aaron,” you kissed his nose. “You deserve this and so much more, I just need you to believe it. For me. Please?”

He nodded, his nose gently rubbing against yours before he leaned forward to press his lips against yours. They were a little salty from his tears and you took extra care to lap them all up, to clean his mouth of any reminder of what had just happened, a clean slate for the two of you.

“I love you,” you spoke against his lips.

“I love you too, honey,” he replied, placing another kiss over your lips before continuing. “So much it’s physically painful.”

You giggled then, light, airy, playful and carefree, and he couldn’t help but smile. Now this laugh he’d remember forever.

this was...wow. holy shit. i hated putting baby through that but i think he needed to hear that.

my requests are open for pretty boy hotch, be that moments, dbf!we shouldn't (and yet we do), rough hotch, sugar daddy!hotch, or whatever your heart desires.

tags: @canuck-eh, @ssamorganhotchner

#aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner #show your fangs asks #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner angst #hotch x reader #moments on ao3 #show your fangs writes #aaron hotchner blurb #show your fangs hotch blurbs #show your fangs moments au

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jellycrusher · 10 months

Text

Wolves and Lambs: Part 1

Alpha Max Verstappen x Omega fem!driver

Genre: Series, Omega verse, Enemies to Lovers, Romance, Eventual smut

Synopsis: Male Alphas are the ones who dominate motor sports all around the world, especially Formula 1. It is a well known fact. Females in general nor Female Omegas are never heard nor encouraged to join the sport since the 1950s. Well, up until now...

Word Count: 2.4k

Chapter's Premise: "How could I forget? The reckless rookie during FP1. Almost crashed into me."

Parts: W&L masterlist / general masterlist

"How does it feel to be the only female alpha here on the grid?" The reporter extends his mic to you during the last press conferences on the last F2 Grand Prix in Abu Dhabi.

Here we go again. "It doesn't feel any different. Everybody here puts out their all when racing and I do that too. Outside of race week, I could say that they're like my younger brothers. It's fun."

"Congratulations again for your promotion to Formula 1 for the next season. Do you have any expectations? Any goals coming in to next year?" At least this reporter is not sexist unlike the others.

"I have been the test driver for Aston Martin for almost two years now. I'm grateful that I've been given the seat alongside Fernando Alonso. Any expectations? I've seen how hard everyone works back in the factory. I hope we develop a better race-winning car. My goal is definitely to win a Grand Prix." You can't help but smile at the thought that your next career move is inching closer and closer now.

"Thank you very much. That's y/n y/l/n, everyone. Your 2023 F2 World Champion." You bid goodbye to the reporter while your Press Officer ushers you to the next reporter.

After your meeting with the Aston Martin Team, your assistant tugs your shirt to signal you to walk to Mike Krack, the team principal.

"Here comes our favorite female driver!" He enthusiastically opens up his arms to welcome you in a tight hug. "Are you ready for the next season?"

"All good. I'm itching to jump in the car and drive." You chuckle as he release you from the hug.

"Hello sir. I just would like to go through something with you." Megan, your assistant, clears her throat which caught the attention of your new team principal. "I just informed y/n that you are aware of her true classification. I want to know how do we handle it from here."

You freeze in your spot as you observe Mike's face. It was astounding that your team principal is still very much determined to add you to the lineup despite knowing that you are not an Alpha, rather an Omega. He assures that he didn't care about it but what he looks for in a driver is talent, grit, and passion.

All your former team in F3 and F2 were never made aware of this fact, even until now. You never had a problem with this secret since your heat haven't arrived yet. At 25, you were considered a very late-bloomer, Normally, one would have their first heat at around 17-20 years old. If you were asked, you prefer it to never arrive at all. Better that way, at least it won't affect you during your races if ever it comes unexpectedly.

Ultimately, you had to force your manager to be upfront with Mike Krack. She was hesitant at first but you knew it was inevitable. The first one is always unpredictable and is affected by your emotions. It's better if your contract stays intact and won't be affected by it.

"We'll keep it under wraps. Limit the people within our team. I know a few people in the media so if this gets out, we can control it. I'll do everything that I can to keep a talent such as yours." Mike pats your back as he noticed you keeping quiet at Megan's side.

It's a wonder that you were able to keep it a secret up until now. It's not that it's forbidden to have Omegas as drivers in motorsport. There were a few male Omegas and only one female Omega before. She drove for one season and retired on the next. It was a very brief stint. Since then, no female omegas were ever able to climb up to Formula 1. Well, not until you but it's a secret. For now.

Of course you want to make a name for yourself. Not just being the first female driver since the 50s but a female Omega. It's something to be proud of. Although, majority of the people are still against it and will surely doubt your talent before they even see it.

Most of the people in the paddock that are either managers, mechanics, presenters, race engineers, and PR officers are almost all Betas and a few are only Omegas; just to name a few. The drivers and team principals are almost entirely Alphas.

You remember Megan mentioned that two of the drivers on the 2024 grid are Omegas but you forgot the names. Well, she also painfully reminded you to keep your classification a secret from them so forgetting who's who is not actually a bad thing.

Back in your F3 and F2 days, whenever Alpha drivers would argue with each other and get rowdy, you could literally feel the effects within you. Shivers down to your spine, tightening chest, trembling hands. Used to having that kind of physical effect on you during those situations, you would just avoid any altercations with any of them.

You were dubbed "The Lamb" of the paddock, being the calm and collected driver out of all of them. In contrast to your nickname, you were like a wolf when you put on the helmet. You would obliterate every driver during every race, herding them to the side.

"I look forward racing alongside our new driver." You, Megan, and Mike swiftly turned your head towards one direction. The sight of the Spanish driver smiling made you freeze. "I've seen your lap times during one of the test drives at Silverstone. It's been the talk of the factory. You almost beat Max's record lap time on the track."

He's definitely an Alpha. The Alpha aura that the two time world champion exudes is definitely nerve-racking. Any other Omega should've felt this when they met him, for sure. It's good that you're used to being around Alphas that it's not obvious in your body language that you were affected.

You bumped fists with Alonso. "Let's not forget the impression you left on the other drivers on FP1 back in Abu Dhabi GP when 11 rookies joined the practice for the Driver Development Program. You drove my AMR23 like a beast and you were the only rookie who was able to put their car in the top 10. In P3, at that." Alonso chuckles, reminding him how the team radios of other drivers went when you were passing them on the track, as broadcasted.

"Thank you sir. Just wanted to show everyone who they might compete against." you replied.

"Oh you most definitely did." he smirks.

It was a comfortable welcome within Aston Martin. Even Lance Stroll, who took a break from Formula 1 to recover from his injuries due to a career-changing incident, worked with you and Alonso to work out the kinks in the car. Being the son of Lawrence Stroll, he won't leave his son out in Formula 1 in any kind of way. Plus, Lance is a familiar face back in karting days so his presence actually helps.

Days pass and it all felt like a blur. You were practically living in the factory when you made certain to be as hands-on as possible with the development of the car. When you sat in the car for almost 2 hours for the seat fitting, Megan basically bribed the other engineers to let you rest for once. The other employees nearby were laughing because Megan was pushing the other engineers away that you were hollering to come to you.

Come February, the day of the AMR24 reveal. It was the first event where you donned your green race suit in front of everyone. In the backstage, Fernando could notice the tenseness painting your face. Lance was also there with you two waiting. He smacked your back so hard that you almost cursed at him, warranting a loud laugh from Fernando.

The welcoming party for the F1 teams was held in Bahrain on the third week of February, just a few days before pre-season testing. Lance and Fernando accompanied you to a ballroom decorated elegantly from the floor to the ceiling where waiters are walking around to give hors d'oeuvres and champagne to people basically in dapper suits and sparkling dresses at every turn. F1 events never disappoint.

You gently push Lando and Fernando to leave you and to go mingle with sponsors and other people they know. Laughing at how close you got to the two drivers just after a few months of working with them. Fernando felt like a mentor and a father, while Lance felt like an annoying brother.

Multiple Alphas gathering in one venue is hurting your nose and making your head spin. As a temporary refuge, you occupy an empty seat at the bar and ordered an Amaretto Sour. It didn't take you two sips before somebody with a mild Alpha scent sits next to you. You look at the man through your periphery. Unruly hair so brown with soft curls and a gummy smile.

"Nervous on your first event?" he says, sliding his drink close to him after the bartender hands it out.

"Hm?" You swiftly turn your head at the man, still taking a sip from your drink.

"You're y/n, right? Aston Martin? I'm Lando Norris. I'm just wondering why a gorgeous woman like you is alone here at the bar?" he replies.

"Nice to meet you!" You offer your hand out to the Mclaren Driver and he shakes it. "Big events like this is not my thing. I'm just charging up my social battery right now. Fernando and Lance will likely pull me later to meet with our sponsors." You add while taking another sip to help mask the overwhelming scent of the venue.

"Tell me about it. It's an introvert's worse nightmare." Another man with an Australian accent pops up beside Lando, wrapping his arm on the man's shoulder. "I'm Oscar Piastri. Nice to meet you!"

Lando and Oscar turns out to be such a fun company to be with. They even introduced you to some of the drivers that were not so busy socializing with VIPs and sponsors; like Yuki Tsunoda, Daniel Ricciardo, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, Alexander Albon, and Logan Sargeant.

Lando was about to call Charles and Max when he spotted them from afar but you were quickly pulled away by Lance to do some rubbing shoulders with your team's sponsors.

"Hey! Why did you call me?" Charles pats Lando's back then proceeds to greet the others gathered around at the bar.

"I was going to introduce you to someone but Lance swept her away." Lando scoffs as he greets Max, who appeared behind Charles.

Max and Charles search the crowd for Lance and eventually spots the man with a gorgeous girl at his side in an emerald green long dress. "Remember the driver who got P3 in FP1 when we were in Abu Dhabi?" says Lando to the two men staring at your side profile while you were busy smiling and mingling with older men.

"Y/n Y/l/n, right? Aston Martin?" Charles said, still can't peel his eyes away from you.

"How could I forget? The reckless rookie during FP1. Almost crashed into me." Max sneers, turns back at the bar and orders a drink.

"Come on mate. Like you were not? You were too aggressive at that FP1. You drove like you were racing with us already. Even overtaking at the pit lane exit." Charles lightly slapped his hand on Max's chest, earning a laugh from him and Lando.

"Still. At the end of the day, she was too eager to prove herself that it came off as reckless." Max takes the drink that he ordered and turns back around to his fellow drivers.

"Come on, you were like that when we were young. Remember our inCHIdent?" Charles, Lando, and even Pierre and Alex laughed so hard at the mention of the adorable memory of Charles and Max's rivalry when they were young.

"Maybe you're just nervous that someone might be able to finally de-throne you from your seat, your majesty?" Lando chuckles.

"We'll see at the pre-season testing if she's all bark and no bite." says Max, staring at you like you're a lamb in a wolf hunt.

"The new season of Formula 1 is just around the corner. But before the lights go out in Bahrain, you'll see all teams hit the track in three rigorous pre-season testing days. It's the first chance to see how this season is shaping up."

It was so surreal to see your driver number 13 in big font on the side of your AMR24. This is the dream and it all starts with the pre-season testing. With only just one car per team to be allowed per day, it was decided that you will drive on the first and second day, and Fernando on the third day.

You could say that it was a bit difficult on the first day. The car was superb and fast, except for the porpoising. After driving almost 150 laps with all the porpoising and understeer, your back felt like cracked uncooked noodles. The makeshift bed in your room in the garage basically inviting you to sprawl down on it. Thankfully, the car got better on the second day.

Everyone was so busy to improve everything on the car that you barely mingled with anyone outside of your team. Even on the third day where Fernando was out on track, you were still discussing with the engineers on what to improve and what strategies to use on the first race in Bahrain a week from now.

After the pre-season testing, Megan made sure to empty out at least two days in your schedule to give you a break. You woke up at around 11 am and went down to the hotel lounge to spend some time reading. Oscar was about to go to the hotel restaurant but stopped when he saw you.

"What are you reading?" You looked up behind you when you heard a voice and saw Oscar in casual clothes.

"Nothing. Just something to pass the time." You replied as Oscar takes up the couch beside you. "Are you about to have lunch?"

"Yeah. Just waiting for Lando." said Oscar, keeping his eyes on you. Oscar paused for a moment, contemplating on continuing his train of thought. "I'm curious so I'm just gonna ask it now."

"What?" you ask, closing your book.

"Why are you hiding that you are an Omega?"

Next part: Part 2

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princessjojo-x · 11 months

Text

Taurus Mars

💝 he’s innately a tranquil & grounded individual. his natural ability to remain patient & quiet evokes mixed reviews & reactions from others. some recognise him as pleasant, comforting & reliable. others perceive him as apathetic, intimidating & dispassionate. nevertheless, he possesses a very long fuse & most things don’t faze him. stillness is so engrained in him that any other reaction during distress feels superficial to him.

💝 his nonchalant & detached nature doesn’t imply his anger is weakened whatsoever. he automatically suppresses his anger inside his body & allows it to ferment for years. eventually this built-up anger gets released & the expression of rage is in no means controlled or restrained. his anger can be compared to a ticking time bomb, waiting patiently for an exact trigger & catching everybody off guard. this fury can be quiet frightening to others, especially since everyone accustomed to his permanent composed demeanour.

💝 although others are the ones to start fights with him, he is always the one to finish the fights. he’ll be relentlessly persistent in his pursuit of revenge. he approaches conflict with a slow & steady strategy, instead of quick & aggressive motions. he may be one of the least aggressive & abrasive mars signs, yet his patient & methodical approach ensures a carefully planned retaliation. he assesses the situation carefully before taking action & his persistence makes him a formidable opponent.

💝 however, it takes a great deal to push him to this point due to his tolerant & patient nature. typically, if anyone irritates him he’ll keep it classy & keep a distance. he’ll resists in indulging in displays of volatilities due to his preference of peace. he won’t risk his safety or stability over petty shit. he possesses a good sense of forethought & thinking before action, with the ability to tune in to not-so-seen aspects in individuals & situations.

💝 in spite of this, abuse is almost always assigned to the taurus- scorpio axis & both signs can endure things that would cause other signs to crumble. many abusive public figures happen to have a taurus mars (adulf hitler, osama ben ladin, michael jackson, jimmy savile & so on). mars is detriment & uncomfortable when in taurus. this can manifest as the native expressing their martian energy in a bad way (rape, violence, homicide).

💝 it can take a lot to break him down & even when he is suffering, he’ll often camouflage his emotions bc he’s too lazy to freak out. but when his stability is taken from him, his future seems uncertain or security is on shaky ground, this is when he become insecure, fearful, controlling & heartless. he needs everything to be under control & he will be soothed by the promise of stability. he has tremendous compulsion to build wealth & establish financial comfortability. he’s motivated by money & the finer things in life. he likely over indulges & acts reckless all for the sake of pleasure. he’s most likely to flare up if under-slept, moneyless, hungry, betrayed or unappreciated.

💝 he may move through life quite slowly bc he finds comfort in taking his time. he likely had to work harder than most in regards to education & career since he’s such a slow learner/starter. he adopts the steady, calculative & enduring pace of mother earth. he exhibits a measured & persistent pace instead of hurried & impulsive actions. nobody ever needs to remind him to think things through bc that's his default move. however, he lacks the ability to take swift & decisive action, which leads to plenty of procrastination, missed opportunities & stagnation. some may perceive him as lethargic & attempt to pressure him to move at their pace but he will stubbornly dig his heals into the ground. offering him external motivation or the possibility of an award can help encourage him. he’s extremely selective in his pursuits & he’s willing to wait. he will impose action only when he is ready, not when he is told. the plan has to be in order before hand, the resources must already be accumulated & a strong foundation must already be built. his motto is “slow & steady wins the race”. despite being slow to start & doing a lot of growndwork before hand, once the wheels start turning, he will see things through to the end & it’s actually hard to make him stop. when he makes a decision, best believe it’s final & he won’t budge without good reason. he can easily slip into a "point of no return" mentality so its important he leaves room for a change of plans. despite not being fast or adaptable, he holds immense perseverance & strength. he resembles a rock standing still even when a tsunami comes. his resilience, patience, commitment, stamina & consistency are his biggest strengths. he puts so much time/effort into the process that failure completely devastates him!

💝 he often enforces rules & repercussions so he’s labelled as controlling. when others get close to him, they think they're immune to these expectations & get comfortable breaking his rules. but it’s shaking up his comfort that makes them his enemy. others don't even realise or give him enough credit for how much patience & leniency he gives before he eventually puts his foot down.

💝 taurus is slow moving but mars doesn’t like being slow. mars is the catharsis of all feelings that demand urgency & protection including anger & fear. when taurus is in mars it becomes uncomfortable & unmoving. it holds onto things & won’t let them go, to avoid losing control of protecting itself. consequently, he’s extremely stubborn, similar to a bull.

💝 since taurus is detriment in mars, issues with self-worth & self-destruction may be a side-effect for him. he may take on todays encounters with repressed & recycled memories which are decades old. despite him seeming calm on the outside, his old wounds are freshly bleeding & his invisible scars can inflame at any moment. sometimes his resentment flows with such volatility & unpredictability that you wonder if it will ever stop or where it came from. it may express itself as harbouring self-contempt for his choices, his life, his body, or everything at once. its a poisonous self-hatred, self-punishment, self-denial, self-malignant or a lack of conviction that he deserves anything worthwhile. he may self-destruct by over-consuming pleasure until it becomes poison or giving into impulsive urges that promise short-term relief at the cost of long term comfort (spending his rent money, drinking until he’s physically ill, etc). however, he may self-destruct via the opposite route, by severely self-restricting in order change something within himself or punish himself further after failure (compulsive measuring of every dose, forcing harsh lifestyle regimes on himself). however, he has tremendous stoicism & prefers to keep his worries to himself. he is the strong & silent type, constantly enduring his deepest struggles completely alone.

💝 when he’s attracted to someone he’ll take his time to get to know her. it may take him awhile to come around but once he does, he’s easy & simple to read, meaning she’ll never be left confused or have to question where she stands with him.

💝 if a man with taurus placements is attracted to you he will find a way to touch you or get close to you somehow, he needs to lean really close to you bc he just can’t hear what you’re saying, he has tripped & now has to steady himself by grabbing your arms or waist, “those stairs look really steep, here grab my arm”.

💝 amongst all the mars signs, he definitely the most sensual. however, in many cases to finally liberate this side of him, it took many inner battles & heroic victories, that became stories he has never spoken about.

💝 he has a ravenous sexual appetite & indulges in intimacy as a comfort measure. a positive & ongoing sex life is very important to him. if his sexual needs aren’t fulfilled his overall mindset will be negative, withdrawn & stubborn. to him, sex is like breathing air, he can’t live without it. he’s very comfortable with his body & his sexual desires. he has a strong need to pleasure himself even in committed rxships (taurus is all abt self-reliance & self-sustainment). sex could potentially become his dirty little secret, which develops into him living a double life.

💝 all earth signs mars have a natural tendency to separate love & sex but taurus mars is most prone to this. he tends to have difficulty abstaining from sex so if there’s no one in his life who matters to him, he is still going to look for sexual partners. sexual involvement with him does not necessarily mean that a rxship with him is underway. in this sense, more gentle types could find him too careless & direct.

💝 the sex with him will be slow & prolonged. he is patient & slow to turn on, like an oven instead of a microwave. his sexual stamina is long-lasting & steady, usually taking awhile to reach climax. he has a pretty good notion abt what it takes to bring pleasure to others since he’s so in tune with his senses. however, he can be lazy in bed, expecting her to do most of the work.

Turn On’s:

💝 arrive baring gifts & kind words.

💝 attempt to please his senses (touch, smell, hearing & taste). this can be achieved through blindfolds, candles, feathers, warmth, silk sheets, sensual sounds, etc.

💝 to him, good sex equals a good rxship. consequently, his rxships are highly based on sexual & intimate compatibility.

💝 physical touch is especially important to him: massages, foot rubs, tender kisses, cuddles, stroking, caressing & body worship.

💝 he enjoys lovemaking on a full stomach or involving food in the bedroom (whipped cream).

💝 his necks is his erogenous zones - kiss & squeeze his neck. talk into his neck. gifts him a necklace.

💝 he’s attracted to earthy types who are stable & patient. ensure to match his calm energy & steady pace. if you‘re going to be rough or surprising ensure it’s gradual & prepare him first.

💝 he’s physically attracted to older or dominant women with dark features & curvy bodies.

💝 he has a hunger to & be devoured.

💝 he maybe into bum play, gigolo roleplay & mutual oral.

💝 all earth signs mars want to be comfortable with you before they sleep with you.

Turn Off’s:

💝 physical touch is like oxygen him so denying him affection or sex for too long will offend him. a dirty bedroom or lack of after care can ruin the experience for him too.

💝 he dislikes his lover failing to show appreciation, being incompetent & criticising him.

💝 people who complain a lot & don’t appreciate the small simple things, people who tell them what to do, being rushed, passive aggressiveness, bad manners, disloyalty, sneakiness, bragging, lying.

Compatibility:

💝 aries mars - aries is constantly trying to rile taurus up & taurus is trying their hardest to ignore or avoid aries. taurus is known to blow when pushed too hard & aries is certainly capable of this. both will refuse to admit they’re wrong; aries due to their competitive & argumentative nature, taurus due to their stubbornness & possibly a denial of their passions. taurus can controlling, smothering & possessive, putting chains on aries.

💝 taurus mars - arguments/fights will consist of small, built-up pressures (possibly jealous or territorial feelings). these clashes will usually end in a stalemate (draw) since their default nature is not competitive or heated. an advantage one may use to “win” is their ability to foresight their opponents moves & intentions since they’re deeply predictable. however, feuds between the two are unlikely & it’s probable they’ll join forces instead; there’s a strong reliability factor in their dynamic.

💝 gemini mars - two different energies causing a fight or mess. these two can bring out the ugly in each other. gemini by poking the bear, being impish or antagonistic; taurus by brick walling, stone coldness & being closed off.

💝 cancer mars - they can find a lot in common at best, their dynamic can be protective & caring. trust & reassurance are the two elements that keep these two loving or respecting each other. but there can be a lot of jealousy & possessiveness in this pairing. ‘attachment’ plays a big role in most of their issues. there are pains from unmet expectations or broken promises. when they don’t know each other well, both are closed off & hard to read. neither express their anger well or aren’t very in tune with it meaning their conflicts can be filled with passive aggression. cancer is more manipulative or have very cold waters towards taurus. taurus can be controlling, mean & unmovable. their conflicts can be slow developing & both can be major grudge holders.

💝 leo mars - at best these two make a great team by feeding off the warmth of each other’s generosity & affection. but dramatic fight or rivalry is possible. they can make one another feel small or infuriated. taurus may see leo as bossy & pompous. leo may see taurus as inflexible, dispassionate & overly careful. leo may be able to take down taurus in terms of passion & action. taurus may be able to take down leo do to their unshakable grudge & while taurus’s unshakable will & hunger for revenge.

💝 virgo mars - with virgo’s adaptability & taurus’s reliability, they can make a down-to-earth pairing who tends to solve problems with logic & bluntness; they’ll handle conflict in a mature manner or at least attempt to look like they are. both aren’t very heated or instigating people. but being emotional or vulnerable around each other may be a challenge. the root of many conflicts in this paring can be the refusal to show each other’s softer side. allowing each other to be sensitive, giving more comfort & reassurance will help them keep the peace. virgo can run circles around taurus with witty jeers, criticism, & nervous energy. but taurus can be the wall virgo runs into since they’re steady, determined & careful. as enemies they can be intolerable of each other & may even see each other as a threat that needs to go (suing, going after career or reputation, hurting or stealing belongings). sometimes earth mars signs can play dirty surprisingly.

💝 scorpio mars - are these two going to try out-grudge, ignore or one up each other? however, scorpio has an advantage since they can easily tap into their passion (expressing their desire, force, & wrath). but taurus is still able to deal with scorpio through their endurance & patience. taurus is more hesitant (finding conflict, pressure, or intensity as uncomfortable). taurus prefers conventional & routine but scorpio craves emotional depth & vigor. scorpio appreciates the mysterious, dark, taboo, or extreme but taurus embraces the open, precise, warm & cordial feelings that are met with security, appealing or soothing pleasure. scorpio is hot lava or an icy pool, waiting to swallow something but taurus is an unexpected earthquake or a sleeping volcano, that is dangerous & destructive once it blows. taurus can have passion & intensity that matches to scorpio’s vindictive, venomous, obsessive potency. but taurus’s passion is hidden away. scorpio can be good at hiding their passion too but this is usually intentional whereas taurus is subconscious. scorpio can help taurus undercover their inner drive & fire. taurus can help scorpio to become more patient & realistic.

💝 sagittarius mars - these two can face a lot of frustration & misunderstanding, getting tired of each others bs. sagittarius is blunt & feisty but taurus is down-to-earth. taurus can easily perceive sagittarius as irresponsible, tactless & selfish. sagittarius can easily perceive taurus as sheepish, dull, closed-minded or stubborn. sagittarius needs more spontaneity & an emotional or rush from taurus. taurus needs sagittarius to be more tender, predictable & reassuring. sagittarius tendency to jab, mock, tease, joke, compete or play can bring out the intense side of taurus.

💝 capricorn mars - calculated & cold capricorn with willful & calm taurus equals a long-lasting peace, realistic expectations & bumps in the road rather than full out battles. they have a similar energy with patience, caution & pragmatism. they may be very attentive to each other’s physical needs.if they get on each other’s bad side there can be control issues & harsh judgment; they may use one another or try to have an advantage over the other. capricorn is considered to be at an advantage but if they ever find themselves being a victim of taurus, they’ll likely cut them off completely. capricorn takes action whereas taurus can be too unmovable, scared, or stuck. in order for taurus to “beat” capricorn, taurus needs to tap into their hidden intensity & passion, without losing control. if this is possible, they’ll become just as dangerous as scorpio.

💝 pisces mars - both have the ability to connect harmoniously & deeply together. neither want to fight & can avoid conflict well. pisces has has an upper hand with their manipulation, intuition, perception & flexibility. taurus has an upper hand with their determination, stubbornness & realistic clarity. taurus can easily find pisces too unreliable, vague, confusing & irrational. pisces can easily find taurus too difficult, closed-minded & hard to understand. their conflicts can be filled with unspoken feelings, cold shoulders, the blame game, sadness or disappointment. pisces can get over conflicts easier than taurus but taurus mary be harder to trigger or rattle than pisces. pisces can be sensitive & help taurus connect with their feelings. taurus is stable & helps bring calmness/steadiness.

#astro notes #astrology #mars signs #taurus mars

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ninjawitdaddyissues · 6 months

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15 years of Dan & Phil - Major Arcana

It struck me that there has been 15 years since Dan and Phil met and my little goose brain connected that to the devil card number 15 (symbolised in dnpcrafts video) and so now you get a large post of me analysing year by year dnp in the major arcana.

DISCLAIMER: this is just for fun and because i am a silly jester who needed to feel joy while on video call with a friend. do not take any of this seriously, i am just a goofy guy with an internet connection and too much time.

The Fool - 0

we start at the fool, 2009.

"The Fool is young and vulnerable. He has not yet experienced the ups and downs of life, leaving him unaware of the magnitude of life's challenges, as well as the potential he holds. When The Fool comes up in a Tarot reading, you are encouraged to take on his open, willing energy and embrace all that lies ahead of you without worry."

The year dnp meet. The start of the journey. The fool is considered the main character of the Major arcana journey. Thus Dan and Phil are the main characters of this story, their story.

Both unaware of what the future holds for them, their life™ was only just at conception. I feel like this one is very self explanatory in context of them just having met, we as the audience are just introduced to the concept of Dan and Phil.

The fool energy (open, willing) is especially evident in videos like PINOF 1 and The Interactive Christmas Adventure where their silliness, and creativity really shine. This is an era of open, easy (almost naive) energy.

The Magician - 1

The year is 2010...

"The Magician card is a reminder that you are unique and have many gifts. These skills set you apart from the crowd and can help you begin new projects or overcome adversity. When The Magician comes up in your Tarot reading, it's a reminder that you already hold everything you need to move forward and accomplish what you've set out to do."

The year of Dan moving to Manchester and starting his Law Degree and Phil getting his flat in Manchester, PINOF2, Jamaica trip, and the conception of the forbidden video. We also have creative bangers such as "the inflatable lion of destiny", 'Blindfolded Catface Game', 'Dan and Phil get down' and 'The TREE'.

The boys are creating core parts of the Dan and Phil universe without knowing it. Together they have all the ingredients needed (see in the card imagery; the wand, cup, pentacle and sword) to create a fanbase and a successful career.

The High Priestess - 2

2011 baybeeeeee

"The most intuitive, connected card in the whole Tarot deck, The High Priestess is a card of awareness. This card urges you to listen to your inner voice and follow your instincts. Your mind knows far more than you think. When this card arises in your Tarot reading, stop looking for answers in the outside world. Turn within for the guidance you seek."

We have the Manchester apartment™, PINOF 3, the forbidden video leak and the first radio show. The relation to this, to me, really comes up in the forbidden video response. Having to turn inwards, the boys became insular, guarded and a wall was really put up between them and the audience to protect themselves. We can't speak to exactly what was happening for them internally and only make our assumptions based on what they outwardly expressed at the time.

The Empress - 3

2012

"The Empress is the most feminine card in the Tarot, and greatly encourages compassion, beauty, and love. She is deeply connected to Mother Nature, and her influence is powerful when you absorb the energy of the natural world around you."

"This supreme archetype of femininity also symbolizes fertility. It is The Empress who provides us nourishment and security. She is also sometimes seen as delighting us with flowers and fruit."

We have entered younow era. They also move to London this year, Dan officially drops out of uni, we get PINOF 4 and a second radio show. We also have the iconic tweet 'FYI i like vagina'. This year is known for being a difficult year in the Phandom. It has a reputation for 'no homo howell' and generally the boys being more reserved and insular with what and how they shared their lives.

In relation to The Empress card I think we can draw particularly on security. We know they had a stalking problem at the London apartment - a threat to their physical security, fans being hectic about their sexualities (particularly Dan) - a threat to their privacy. We also have Dan getting an influx of 'are you gay' on younow and having to reassert his ' straightness' lends itself to the femininity of this card. He had to play straight in order to keep himself safe. This card being for 2012 when we know they really withdrew from sharing themselves with us is quite the oxymoron but despite the withdrawing of their sharing with the audience we know they still had great success (got their flowers) in the coming years.

The Emperor - 4

2013

"The Emperor is a card of leadership and power. He is an authoritative force who has been through many experiences to achieve this status. He represents structure and solidity, and reminds you that you, too, hold immense amounts of power over your own life, and what happens to it."

THE BRITISH VLOGGER BOOM IS UPON US. The boys have gone through some shit™ at this point and are starting to establish themselves as Entertainers. They are on the grind, they are moving in the direction of establishing themselves as entertainers/presenters in the mainstream space marked by the beginning of the request radio show. Their Youtube numbers climb as does their power in the online world. As for them holding power over their own lives, I know Dan has mentioned not feeling in control of things like his audience at this point. But I think this card speaks to them really gaining control over their future career wise as a duo - even if they didn't fully see themselves as such yet.

We also have the Charlie Skies twitter fiasco this year - another threat to their privacy. Through this Dan in particular had to trust in the power he had over his own narrative in redirecting attention and deflecting Charlie's online attacks. He blocked him and protected his peace and as a result not a whole lot of the phandom knows about this beef. Dan and Phil are nothing if not good at diversion, distraction and hiding things from the internet (good for them).

The Hierophant - 5

2014

"The Hierophant is like a messenger from the heavens. He is experienced in spirituality and guidance, and his job is to bring these lessons down to us here in the real world. When The Hierophant comes up in your Tarot reading, you're encouraged to follow the rules, and to find a spiritual perspective on your current situation."

"Before him kneel two followers. The Hierophant’s task is to pass down his spiritual wisdom and initiate the two into the church so they can take up their appointed roles. This imagery speaks to a shared group identity and a rite of passage to enter the next level. The crossed keys at The Hierophant’s feet represent the balance between the conscious and subconscious minds and the unlocking of mysteries, which only he can teach."

This year brings us the first Brit awards hosting, the radio show transitioning to the Internet Takeover, Dan and Phil Games and the channels continuing to grow. This card in particular I think relates to them and their relation to the BBC. In this card they are the two people in front of the Hierophant, learning and having knowledge bestowed upon them. This was a year of developing their careers into a new phase of mainstream TV palatability. Dan and Phil are stepping into previously unchartered spaces for just a couple of guys on the internet.

The Lovers - 6

2015

"The Lovers card represents the close relationships in your life. If it comes up in your Tarot reading, your love life is in need of extra attention. However, this is just as much a card about your values and decisions. You may find The Lovers come up when you are at a crossroads. Consider all the possible consequences of your choices."

Significant events this year include; TABINOF, TATINOF, Dan and Phil crafts, Japhan part 1, Brit Awards hosting and the channels growing. Japhan happening this year with the lovers card showing up is very sweet. Dan and Phil knew they had big events coming up for them in their lives so they carved out space for them to enjoy existing together by going to Japan.

We also know that at this point Dan and Phil were looking to move on from the TV Host type of space they found themselves in with the BBC. A crossroads of where they wanted to take the world of Dan and Phil™ . That gave way to TABINOF and TAINOF, stepping into an unknown space of Youtubers doing stuff in the real world once again. Phil mentioned in his video, 'Draw my LIfe 2' that they really had to trust that this was the correct move for them. A crossroads where they had to consider the consequences when investing their money into TABINOF and TATNIOF.

The Chariot - 7

2016

"The Chariot card is connected to your natural drive and determination, and can indicate an upcoming victory. This card reminds you that your greatest successes won't come through limited thinking -- when you combine the knowledge of your mind with that of your heart and spirit, you are an unstoppable force."

This year brought alot of reaping on benefits of putting trust in the crossroads that the Lovers card presented. We see the end of the Internet Takeover, the final Brit Awards hosting and the end of the TATINOF era. They combined their mind, heart and spirit and came out successful, winning 4 awards this year and having the huge success of TATINOF. They didn't allow themselves to be limited (by the BBC) and they succeeded. So, if they could achieve a world tour and a best selling book on their own... well what could come next??

Strength - 8

2017

"The Strength card represents courage, the fortitude of your heart, and your ability to withstand anything life hands you. If this card arises in your Tarot reading, you are reminded that you're strong enough to handle whatever you are facing and will come out of it with even more power than you had before."

This year, the boys move to their new London apartment (the fake apartment), Interactive Introverts is announced, Dan goes curly and the end of danisnotonfire branding.

We know from the video 'Dan and Phil Finally Tell the Truth' that Dan had begun to realise he couldn't stay in the closet any longer, which led to his mini breakdown on the balcony. He stated that he was worried if they went on tour with introverts he was going to have a very public meltdown. We also got the video 'Daniel and Depression'. Between the two of these things we can see how the strength card really came into play this year.

Phil has also talked about how they didn't know how they were going to get everything done this year. With Introverts tour looming, they were inundated with work and they really had to grin and bare through it. They had to trust their strength as a duo that they would come through this time together.

The Hermit - 9

2018

"The Hermit yearns to be alone. He knows that the only way to process what is happening in life is to withdraw from the noise of the world and create a quiet space of solitude. When The Hermit comes up in your reading, the answers you need will come from within. Be very still, and listen..."

This year is the year of the Interactive Introverts tour, the final PINOF, the gaming channel hiatus and Dan's video 'trying to live my truth'. The Hermit coming up in a year of them going into hiatus, is just very nail on the god damn head. I mean what card could be more relevant? It seems so self explanatory, I don't even know what to say.

The boys had to turn inward once again to assess where to go next in their careers. They talk about pausing to take stock of what they have done and where they will go.

Dan took a huuuuuge step back to go inwards and process everything he had been holding in and pushing through in the previous years as they were so busy with their career building. This was a year where they gave themselves permission to slow down and finally look inward for where to go next. This introversion beginning is seen at the start of 2018 in Dan's 'Trying to Live My Truth' video.

We also have Phil with his dizzy spells during this year meaning there was less amazingphil content. This could also be seen as an introversion. He had to slow down his public career of take care of himself and focus on his health.

The Wheel of Fortune - 10

2019

"The Wheel of Fortune is constantly revolving -- sometimes you will be at the top, and sometimes you will be at the bottom. This Tarot card reminds you that nothing is permanent, and, good or bad, you must cherish the lessons that this moment is bringing you."

"Good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point"

Bare with me while I desperately try to refrain from top and bottom jokes due to the concision of the wheel of fortune card and dnp coming out in the same year. But truly this card represents a turning point and a destiny fulfilment. If BIG and COTY are not a destiny fulfilment and turning point then I don't know what is! The boys are living their truth, they are moving into a new era.

Justice - 11

2020

"Justice is your firm-but-fair reminder that there is a consequence for every action. Whatever life is handing you at this moment comes from decisions you and others have made in the past, reflecting natural cause-and-effect. When this card comes up in your Tarot reading, make sure you are acting fairly in all your interactions with others."

Libra card!!!! This year we have covid hitting, a quiet year for content all round. We have the stereo shows starting up at the end of the year along with the phouse announcement. This year also featured Steve the pigeon (pigeon fest/rescuing a pigeon video).

When we look at cause and effect, the phouse is what comes to mind. They worked themselves so hard in the years previous and they were able to buy and design their forever home. The cause and effect of them coming out is also seen in their ability to be open with the audience that they are continuing to not only live together but purchase and build property together. If they had not come out, things like buying a house together would've raised so many more questions and possibly caused more issues for them and their privacy (fan speculation). This new era really hinged on them coming out and setting themselves up as an ambiguous couple. In this case the cause and effect really benefitted them.

The Hanged Man - 12

2021

"The Hanged Man tells you that sometimes small sacrifices are required to benefit the bigger picture. When The Hanged Man arises in your reading, you likely want to make a move but don't know where to begin. Lightening your grip on what's no longer working for you, or detaching from the outcome of your situation, can help you release yourself."

This year gives us the first joint video since 2018 in the form of 'something we want to tell you'. This marks Dan's return to being perceived online. Subsequently we have the book release in May, YWGTTN, and they move into the somewhat uncompleted phouse.

We get many iconic videos this year showing a shift in their on camera dynamic - a loosening grip on the wall they built up with the audience during the early years. They let us in on alot more of those moments that drive us absolutely insane, the smiles were off the charts and we started eating good again. They have begun trusting the audience with more of their authentic selves and silly dynamic. In Phil's recent video where he looks at old profile pics, he talks fondly about the silly icon pic from him and Dan during lockdown.

I think the sentiment of no longer caring what people think is really echoed in this years content. The boys are self assured and care less about what people have to say because they are successful and have nothing to hide.

The hanged man is shown in this loosening grip on hiding parts of themselves and allowing themselves to trust the audience more knowing that whatever the outcome they have each other and that in enough.

Death - 13

2022

"One of the most misunderstood Tarot cards, Death is not a card about physical death. The Death card speaks of cycles and is a reminder that all things must pass. Hanging on to situations from the past will hinder you from allowing new, better things to enter your life. In every ending lies a chance for a new beginning."

wad year/DD/wiqy

What can I say. Death card for WAD year? It just makes sense. A year where Dan and Phil spent the most time apart since they met in 2009, taking a break from the cycle of their everyday life.

We also got Dan's WIQY video, again reflecting on the last few years and essentially announcing his burn out. Giving up on being Youtube's 'golden boy' by speaking his mind about how he was effected by circumstances beyond his control.

Then we have WAD. The show being reflective of his past and the future for the earth. This year truly felt like a rebirth for Dan specifically. He was back on the internet, Dystopia Daily, being able to openly make gay jokes. He went back out into the world and found meaning in existence again. And once that meaning was obtained, he went back to Phil. A new beginning in how they both show up online, unapologetically themselves.

Temperance - 14

2023

"The Temperance card is a master of moderation. She encourages peace and patience, and reminds you to go with the flow of your life instead of trying to force its pace or direction. When Temperance turns up in your Tarot reading, it is a message to take things as they come, and remain flexible enough to change with the changes."

2023 brought us more DD, end of WAD, The 3rd Japhan trip, the Phude, and the return of the gaming channel.

This is a year of things slowly going back to routine for DnP. Dan comes back from tour, they go on holiday to Japan. Up until the gaming channel coming off hiatus 2023 was seemingly a chill flux and flow for dnp. The flow (this is a water heavy card) of their life returned to normal.

While DnP certainly didn't make this comeback with moderation (leaping straight into spooky week and then gamingmas as well as merch drops) they wouldn't have come back without a serious plan to keep their workaholic tendency's in check.

The Devil - 15

2024

"The Devil card carries themes of restraint and powerlessness. When it comes up in your Tarot reading, you are likely feeling stuck. The Devil has convinced you that you have no options, but this couldn't be further from the truth. You hold the keys to your own freedom, but it's up to you to open the lock."

So we all know the crafty video from this year has direct symbolism to the devil card. There have been many great analyses between the two so I won't go into that as much here. But what I will say is that I see this card for this year as an unshackling of themselves. We see them far more open and willing to trust the audience to be in on the joke rather than and us vs. them situation of the 2012 era. So rather than them feeling stuck I believe this symbolises them no longer being stuck and stepping into their most honest selves while still maintaining their boundaries.

That concludes my wee dive into dnp lore and how it relates to the major arcana. I am not someone with a huge amount of knowledge on tarot (just a wee bit from my own experience of doing a card read every so often but certainly not someone who has ever studied tarot), so if you are big on tarot absolutely chime in and add to this!! I am also so sure I missed dnp lore but hey I did what I could! Also big ty to @boardgamedanny for being on video call with me for 2 days in a row to suggest things and pipe in and also distract me horrendously. Also biiig thanku to my friend, Peter, who isn't on here but sparked this whole thing, with their tarot knowledge and my dnp brain encyclopedia.

now sources!!

#dan and phil #daniel howell #amazingphil #dapg #phil lester #olly rambles #phan #danandphilcrafts #danphiltarot

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anarchy-and-piglins · 1 year

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"I know it's probably not as good as whatever your private chef could cook up for you," Phil says. "But I promise there's no poison in it or anything."

"Great," Techno mutters and picks up a fork. They got rid of the zip ties, so that's an improvement. He's not as thrilled about having his leg chained to the wall. The reach is far enough that he can walk around the room pretty easily. But he wouldn't be able to walk out the door, even if it wasn't locked. Which it always is.

Phil sits on the other chair across from him and pretends to tap away on his phone. Actually, he keeps glancing at Techno every few seconds in an almost calculated way. Techno doesn't like it - it reminds him of the way some politicians would look at his Dad during debates.

After picking at the food for a minute and wondering if Phil's use of the word "poison" was deliberate and the food could still be drugged with sedatives or something, Techno puts some of it in his mouth. It's pretty good, but that might also be because he hasn't eaten anything for two days and is starved.

Phil smiles pleasantly at him.

Techno looks at his plate. "They haven't paid, have they?" he asks.

Phil's smile doesn't fall. If he wasn't already kidnapping the children of high-profile senators as his job, the guy might have a decent career in poker.

"Nope." Phil crosses his arms on the table. "Are you going to say 'I told you so' now?"

There's a challenge in those eyes, cold and blue. Techno knows he should not mess with the person who has a gun and blood still stuck under his nails.

Yet, he can't help himself.

"Nah. But for the record, I did tell you so."

Phil's grin gets impossibly wider. "You did."

Techno puts the fork down. Maybe he isn't as hungry as he thought.

"Are you going to kill me then?"

Phil stares at him. Stares through him almost. Thinking hard about the answer.

Techno realizes he's not scared. Or maybe he is - he's scared Phil will say no.

“Not yet,” Phil answers eventually. “Sometimes people need a little… encouragement. To make the right decisions.”

“What, are you going to cut my fingers off one by one and send them to my parents?” Techno chuckles, dry and without humor. “You should know that will just have the opposite effect.”

Phil’s expression does not change, eerily calm. But there is more intensity when he looks at Techno then, a burning curiosity. Like everything will depend on Techno’s response to his next question. “How so?”

“A damaged heir won’t be any use to them.”

Clearly, that was the right answer.

“I think I’ll go down and have a little one-on-one with them then,” Phil says as he pushes back his chair and stands up. “They can give me their final answer to my face.”

Techno sits up straighter. He feels incredibly helpless, watching Phil head to the door with no way to stop him. “And what if they still refuse to pay?”

“If they tell me to fuck off, that’s fine.” Phil pulls the gun from his waistband. “You know what they say. Finder’s keepers and all.”

(same AU as this one)

#technoblade #philza #dark sbi #shara writes

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rogueddie · 2 years

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The first time Steve and Dustin were alone together was the night they found Will. He had reassured Joyce that the kids would be fine, that he'd call their parents and, if needed, he would personally drive them home. Everyones parents were able to come to the hospital to pick them up.

Everyone expect Dustin.

So, Steve drove him home. He was giddy the whole ride, didn't bat an eye at Steve's presence the way the others had. He'd been more excited when Steve encouraged him to keep telling him about their side, about the little girl with superpowers and their little nerd game.

He'd invited Steve in for tea. Steve didn't have any left at home, had run out a couple days ago, so he agreed. He needed something warm after the day he'd had. He only hoped he wouldn't be intruding.

Claudia was horrified when she saw how bruised and bloodied he was. She had not only made him tea, but wrapped him up in a blanket and got her first aid kit. She was only really able to clean him up, most of the cuts beginning to heal just enough to be find on their own. Not that it made Claudia feel any better.

She'd only gotten more overbearing when Steve reluctantly admitted that his parents still weren't home yet. She insisted that he stay there so she can make sure he's still ok in the morning.

He has to argue with her when she tries to insist he sleep in her bed, while she stays on the sofa. Luckily, Dustin backs him up on that point. He points out that she'd make Steve feel guilty, which Steve quickly agrees with. Together, they convince her that Steve will be fine to stay on the sofa.

She made him breakfast in the morning. Homemade pancakes. She checks over his wounds again and, when she's finally satisfied that he doesn't have a concussion, she reluctantly let's him leave.

She calls him every other day, checking in on him. She stops commenting on his parents absence, just tutting. She only stops calling when, after two weeks, his parents do arrive home. They don't care about his bruises, simply remind him to keep his grades up, to not let the incident effect his basketball 'career'.

Steve finally took Claudia up on her offer to visit any time. She didn't care that he stayed the whole day, even offering to babysit Dustin when she wanted to go out for a little bit and was trying to find her usual babysitters number. He insists she doesn't pay him too, that she'd been letting him squat for long enough that he owes her anyway.

It becomes routine after that. Sometimes Claudia calls him to babysit, usually he's already there. Dustin complains a lot that he doesn't need a babysitter, but Steve can tell that he doesn't really mind. Dustin can rant about whatever he wants to Steve... mostly because Steve isn't really listening but that just means he can rant about the same thing as much as he wants.

The second time Steve turns up at Claudias house, bruised and bloodied, is far worse than the first.

She fusses a lot more, scolds Dustin for the plasters the kids had used to try and stop the bleeding. She had to reopen a lot of the cuts in order to clean them properly. She only needed to bandage one, holding the ice pack to his eye for him for some time.

"You can't keep getting hurt like this," she had tried to scold him. Her voice broke though, revealing the fear she tried to hide.

"He was protecting us," Dustin finally spoke up. He was unusually quiet, almost timid. "B... the guy was going to hurt Lucas. He said he was gonna kill him. Steve was protecting us."

After that, Claudia insisted that Steve join them for their Sunday roasts. At first as a thank you, for looking out for Dustin and the kids as much as he had. It soon becomes something... more.

It wasn't until Dustin dragged Steve home after Starcourt and the Russians, bruised and bloodied once again, that the subtext was no longer sub.

Claudia complained, loud and upset, that someone must have cursed the town, must have cursed her.

"If it wasn't for you having all your friends here, Dusty, I'd move us away. I'd pack all of our important stuff and we'd go, right now. Far, far away where nothing can hurt my boys ever again."

She'd been looking at Steve. She'd been making sure the medics had properly taken care of his wounds. She'd looked at him, pointedly.

"Where you two go?" Steve asked, trying to ignore the look.

Claudia had tutted, narrowed her eyes at him. "Us three. Our little family is already too small. Nothing could make me leave you behind, Stevie. Nothing."

"Oh."

She had smiled, fixing his hair.

Dustin snorted when he looked over. "You're catching flies, Stevie!"

"Shut up!" Steve threw a pillow at him. "You're such a brat!"

Dustin grabbed the thrown pillow, throwing it back at his chest. "You're one to talk!"

"Be careful," Claudia warned.

She sat back with a smile, keeping a close eye on them and making sure that they're play-fighting didn't get too out of hand.

She can remember when she first had Dustin, how much she'd wanted another son to keep him company, a brother who would love him. She can remember how distressed she was when she realized that she never would.

Funny how things turn out, she thinks; funny that she did get her dream in the end. Even if it does come with a lot of stress.

"Dusty, careful! You need to be careful, watch out for his face, ok?" She raises her voice a little. She bites back a smile at the sheepish looks they both send her.

#stranger things #steve harrington #dustin henderson #claudia henderson #fic #ficlet #thingy ma do boo #genfic #STEVE HENDERSON RIGHTS

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zvaigzdelasas · 7 months

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When Haitian Prime Minister Ariel Henry filled the void left by the assassination of the country’s president in 2021, he did so over the protest of wide segments of the population but with the full-throated support of the Biden administration.

Now, almost three years later, Henry’s grip on power is hanging by a thread, and Washington is confronted by even worse choices as it scrambles to prevent the country’s descent into anarchy.

“They messed it up deeply,” James Foley, a retired career diplomat and former U.S. ambassador to Haiti, said in an interview about the Biden administration’s support for Henry. “They rode this horse to their doom. It’s the fruit of the choices we made.”[...]

Stubborn U.S. support for Henry is largely to blame for the deteriorating situation, said Monique Clesca, a Haitian writer and member of the Montana Group, a coalition of civil, business and political leaders that came together in the wake of Jovenel Moïse ‘s murder to promote a “Haitian-led solution” to the protracted crisis.

The group’s main objective is to replace Henry with an oversight committee made up of nonpolitical technocrats to restore order and pave the way for elections. But so far, Henry, who has repeatedly promised to hold elections, has shown no willingness to yield power.

While in Guyana last week for a meeting of Caribbean leaders, he delayed what would be Haiti’s first vote in a decade yet again, until mid-2025.

“He’s been a magician in terms of his incompetence and inaction,” said Clesca. “And despite it all, the U.S. has stayed with him. They’ve been his biggest enabler.”

By any measure, Haiti’s perennially tenuous governance has gotten far worse since Henry has been in office.[...]

But even as Haiti has plunged deeper into chaos, the U.S. has stood firmly by Henry.

“He is taking difficult steps,” Brian Nichols, assistant secretary of state for Western Hemisphere affairs, said in October 2022, as Haitians poured into the streets to protest the end of fuel subsidies. “Those are actions that we have wanted to see in Haiti for quite some time.”

When demonstrations resumed last month demanding Henry’s resignation, the top U.S. diplomat in Haiti again rushed to his defense.

“Ariel Henry will leave after the elections,” U.S. chargé d’affaires Eric Stromayer told a local radio station.[...]

The Biden administration has defended its approach to Haiti. White House spokeswoman Karine Jean-Pierre, without specifically endorsing Henry, said the U.S. long term goal of stabilizing the country so Haitians can hold elections hasn’t changed.

But in what may be a telling slip that speaks to the neglect Haiti has suffered in Washington of late, Jean-Pierre confused the Haitian president, the country’s top elected official, with the prime minister, who is picked by the president and subject to parliamentary approval.

“It’s the Haitian people — they need to have an opportunity to democratically elect their prime minister,” Jean-Pierre, whose parents fled Haiti, said Wednesday. “That’s what we’re encouraging,” [...] “But we’ve been having these conversations for some time.”

Nichols said he and Secretary of State Antony Blinken spoke with Henry on Thursday and urged him to broaden his political coalition. He said the U.S. would work to speed up the deployment of a multinational security mission to combat the gangs led by Haiti under the auspices of the United Nations but that other countries needed to step up their support in the way the world is working together to address humanitarian needs in Ukraine and Gaza [sic].[...]

The U.S. bears much of the blame for the country’s ills. After French colonizers were violently banished in 1791, the U.S. worked to isolate the country diplomatically and strangle it economically. American leaders feared a newly independent and free Haiti would inspire slave revolts back home. The U.S. did not even officially recognize Haiti until 1862, during the Civil War that abolished American slavery.

Meanwhile, U.S. troops have been an on-and-off presence on the island, dating from the era of “gunboat diplomacy” in the early 20th century when President Woodrow Wilson sent an expeditionary force that would occupy the country for two decades to collect unpaid debts to foreign powers.

The last intervention took place in 2004, when the administration of George W. Bush diverted resources from the war on terrorism in Afghanistan and Iraq to calm the streets following a coup that removed President Jean-Bertrand Aristide.[...]

Foley said the situation is deteriorating so fast that the Biden administration may have no choice [but to send US troops to Haiti]. He’s pushing for a limited troop presence, like the one that in 2004 handed off to U.N. peacekeepers after only six months. Unlike the U.N. peacekeeping mission, which was hastily organized, Kenya has been working for months on a multinational force to combat the gangs.

“I completely understand the deep reluctance in Washington to have U.S. forces on the ground,” Foley said. “But it may prove impossible to prevent a criminal takeover of the state unless a small U.S. security contingent is sent on a temporary basis to create the conditions for international forces to take over.”

But whether yet another U.S. intervention helps stabilize a desperate Haiti, or just adds more fuel to the raging fire, remains an open question. And given the recent American track record, many are doubtful.

“The U.S. for too long has been too present, too meddling,” said Clesca. “It’s time for them to step back.”

7 Mar 24

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nonsenseafterdark · 26 days

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Home Again

Summary: Johnny goes home, finally able to let his guard down

Characters: Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, The MacTavish Fam

Word Count: 804

Warnings: None.

Although he had to maintain some level of focus to drive, Johnny also felt as if he was finally able to let his guard down somewhat, something he felt like he could never do from the moment he stepped into his military career. Being a soldier had its benefits and its shadows, and while he had no regrets and argued that being a soldier helped him improve as a person, he’d be lying if he said that he sometimes misses and grieves the man he used to be.

Johnny wished he never jumped in alert at loud sounds such as thunder or backfiring engines. He wished he would be able to unwind knowing that he was relatively safe and didn’t need to be gripping his guns anytime soon. He wished to enjoy a day off, to take in every second without worrying what would happen in the next. Johnny wanted safety, and being a soldier made him painfully aware of everything. He learned the world was never “safe” to begin with, and sometimes he missed that ignorance before he enlisted. Yet being back in his hometown provided him with that safe embrace, the atmosphere providing something warm and enveloping as if to tell him that he would be alright here.

When Johnny called his family, he informed them that he’d be coming in late and encouraged them not to wait up for him. But as he parked his car and eyed the faint silhouette of his home, he saw that the kitchen lights were on along with some coming from the upstairs bedrooms. He’d scold his mother and siblings later, but for now, he stepped out, pulled his bags and belongings out, and made his way up to the front door. It wasn’t long until it swung open, revealing his mother in her pajamas and a soft bathrobe.

“Johnny!” She was tired, and yet she had enough energy to race a few steps outside to hug her son. Johnny dropped his bags just in time for her to wrap her arms around him. It was a tight, gentle hug, one that felt protective, yet soft enough to melt into. He wrapped his arms around her, returning the hug and almost not wanting to let go. But for now, he held on as long as he could.

“You alright, babes?” She asked, not letting go, but sensing he was tense.

“Aye…” Johnny replied, “Just missed you…”

“Oh, we did too, John… It’s so good to see you…”

Catching onto her mild exhaustion and remembering what time it was, Johnny broke away momentarily, “Why aren’t you in bed? I told you not to wait up.”

“I know, but I couldn’t sleep until I knew you were here,” His mother shook her head, “You hungry? The kettle’s still warm if you want something hot to drink.”

“I’m alright, ma. I don’t want you staying up any later for me.”

“Oh hush! Let me at least get you some tea.”

“Is that you, Johnny?” A voice from the home exclaimed, revealing it to be his older sister, Ava, and following close behind her was their youngest brother, Jack. Their mother stepped away, allowing for John’s siblings to rush him and bring him in their own unique embrace. Jack had almost jumped onto him like he would when they were kids, causing Johnny to stumble back. But he held his brother too, almost as if he was coming back from a week long camp trip.

“My big brother!” Jack affirmed gleefully, patting Johnny on the back and noting his somewhat bony frame, “Have they been feeding you, man?”

“Aye, they are,” Johnny laughed, “It isn’t anything like ma's soups and roasts, though.”

“You can get plenty of that when Jackie decides to let go of you,” Ava joked, “Am I allowed to hug my brother too?”

“C’mon, Jack,” Their mother chided, “Let Ava say ‘hi’, and help me with the bags.”

“Right, right…” Jack stepped back, finally allowing Johnny’s vital organs to breathe. Once he was finally able to catch his breath, he welcomed Ava for the next hug. Her hug wasn’t as desperate as their mother’s or playful like Jack’s. It was a protective embrace from the same sister who would yell at the farmer for allowing his poorly trained dog to chase Johnny up into a tree. It was from the same sister who comforted him and Jack, and held both of them close when their father passed.

“How’re you doing, little brother?” She asked.

Now it was the same sister whose hug made Johnny drop his guard all together. The same family who let him know that for this month, he wasn’t Sergeant MacTavish. He was their Johnny, their son and brother, and as long as he was here, he was safe.

“It’s good to be home…” Johnny finally answered.

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #cod soap #fluff

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sgiandubh · 1 year

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Sasnak City - a different view

I will never encourage you enough to read the whole comments' thread of a post you liked. Otherwise, it's blink and you'll miss it, as I almost missed the only feedback of the Sasnak City event we have on this side of the spectrum: @rosfrank's. She graciously agreed to let me repost them and I truly thank her for the kindness.

Her comments were made under two different posts, so I collated them and vetted their content as much as I could, given the unprecedented context of the SAG-AFTRA strike and the scarcity of details. I did not watch the recap on Instagram, because I am not a fan of the format.

I had no idea Sasnak City was a consistent partner of the Camp Encourage for autistic children project. At least since 2020, as a very superficial Google search shows:

...in 2020, with RR...

... in 2022....

What is Camp Encourage?

This:

Do you have any idea of what it is to be the mother of an autistic child? I don't have this honor. I have never been through the stress and the pain of looking for the right solution, for the good therapist. I never had to swallow my impotent tears and fight with the angel, fruitlessly asking myself why did it happen to me.

I can assure you that career, money and the white picket fence house which mortgage you just paid off do not matter. Not when you wait dejected, with your well-garnished checkbook and no hope in sight, until the good doctor will finally see you. Not when your child is a desperately inaccessible fortress. Not when you tell yourself you just can't take it anymore and yet miraculously find out that yes, you eventually can, over and over and over again.

Before judging, you might want to take a moment.

Side note: the man who supposedly is not good with kids interacted with the organizer's autistic son. On stage (try and take an autistic person out of their comfort zone, anyone?). Oh. What an inconvenient truth, again.

Different figures circulate. I think this is pretty close to reality and also to the 'small and personal fan convention format'. Not sure it made anybody rich overnight, after you deduce all the costs - part of proceeds went to the above charity, anyways. Zealots would like more transparency, perhaps. With which moral authority?

Second bone of contention and a particularly unsavory one, at that, the disrespect of the SAG-AFTRA's strike rules:

What was I telling you, the other day?

As for the limbo, I cannot believe no one bothered to look around a bit for confirmation. On Facebook, for example:

They did their due diligence homework. This announcement was posted on July 14, 2023, with a solidarity with the strike hashtag to boot. Propaganda? Hypocrisy? Oh, give me a break. It is legally impeccable.

There you go. No mention of the show anywhere - check. Screened questions - check. Only the SS paraphernalia (pics, etc) supplied - check. Books still ok for autographs (at S's discretion to go ahead or not, which means SAG-AFTRA is ok with, by the way) - check. Make lemonade when life gives you lemons and 'be creative' - check.

Where is the problem? Why certain sleuthing skills suddenly vanish when it's about formulating a balanced, reasonable POV?

Let me guess. It's all about the "go away, ugly socks, your story sucks" syndrome. Oh.

You'd wish, duckies. You'd wish.

I am not these people's lawyer. Playing Atticus Finch completely ceased to interest me sometime around 1998 AD. I even doubt we can stand each other IRL, for reasons. But I am not discussing people, here. I am discussing and debunking a homespun web of self-righteous lies.

Thank you, @rosfrank. Your gesture was generous and very, very brave.

#sag aftra strike

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ohmyeyesmyeyes · 1 year

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communication skills

anthony beauvillier x f!reader; platonic!mat barzal x f!reader

warnings: swearing, throwing up, based slightly on 'hits different' by taylor swift, i wrote a good 80% of this drunk so i apologise for everything

word count: 8.7k

The water was warm – not too hot that it burned your skin, but warm enough to encourage you to stand in front of the mirror – refusing to look at your own reflection – and keep your hands held under the steady stream. There was something relaxing about it, watching it cascade off your skin, fragmenting the light.

It was a twisty tap, and after a long period of you washing off the feeling of his last words, desperate to scrub any and all traces of him off your skin, even despite the pathetic futility of such a feat – another hand reached out from behind you, twisting it off and handing you a small pile of paper towels.

Much like your own reflection, you refused to look at the man on your right, keeping your head down and eyes entirely focused on the task at hand. If you even so much as caught a pitying or equally heartbroken gleam in his face, you’d be done for; that unwanted well of emotion would shatter, and Mat would be left to pick up the pieces in a bathroom of a club you’d only been to once before.

The last thing you wanted to do was talk about it, but when you chucked the scrap towels in the bin, the frustration had gotten the better of you, and your words spewed out of your mouth seamlessly. Mat was leant against a wall, nodding along to almost everything you were saying, and you could tell from the grave expression on his face that he was just as affected by the matter, too.

How could he not?

He’d known Beau since they were kids, and because of the inhumane system surrounding transfers, they’d be separated from each other for the first time in years.

“And what are you gonna do about it?” He asked, leaning back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest, a stern yet altogether curious look about him.

You froze, knitting your brows together in slight bewilderment, “What am I gonna do about him getting transferred?” You checked, puzzled as to his query.

There wasn’t much you could do about anything; transfers were legally bound contacts as far as you knew, and you wouldn’t be able to hammer even the slightest dent in that framework – not that you’d even thought about doing that anyway.

It wasn’t your career, he wasn’t your boyfriend, and you weren’t going to mess with something set in stone. Still, that harsh truth didn’t exactly do anything to numb the stinging hurt prickling at your chest. Your throat tightened, and you pressed your lips together, trying to suppress the mounting build of sadness climbing up your throat.

You hated the helplessness of it all; you couldn’t control a single aspect of anything that had occurred within the last fifteen minutes and it petrified you. It sent goosebumps trailing down your skin, and a spike of adrenaline through your system.

“No,” Mat frowned, blinking at you, “What are you gonna do about Tito moving to Vancouver?”

You swallowed, trying to maintain the knot slowly building, “I don’t follow.”

You weren’t going to do anything. He was the one that had ended it. You were, however, going to go home and watch New Girl to cheer yourself up. Maybe call your parents; the time difference would mean they’d still be awake – and long term? Probably mope.

You weren’t sure you could quite stomach the thought of someone else at that moment – which was a shocker to you.

Moving on was always easy for you to do – it tended to be a benefit of never truly giving yourself to anyone. Yet, somehow, Anthony Beauvillier had worked his way under your defences and you’d given yourself to him in ways you never pictured yourself ever doing.

“I mean,” Mat rolled his eyes, “Are you going to let him break things off and jet across to the other side of North America?” He asked it like it was obvious, his shoulders shrugging as he watched you carefully.

He thought you were taking the entire situation rather well. You had since Anthony had panicked and dumped everything on you – how he’d literally just shouted in your ear ‘I’ve been traded to Vancouver and I’m leaving within the week’ – and how the only reaction you had was a poor ‘oh’ after you’d ingested his words. Other than that, you’d been in a sort of reverie, floating around the rest of the night, a haunted look on your face as you watched him leave.

He’d broken up with you, and Mat was almost certain that you didn’t know why.

Mat knew, of course he did. After Tito had told him, the first thing he’d worried about was you.

“I don’t want her to leave New York for me. She deserves better than that.”

And no matter how many times Mat had tried to persuade Tito that, no, you deserved each other wholeheartedly, Tito was insistent on the fact that the only way to solve that issue of his was to break up with you.

Obviously, he’d neglected to confide exactly why he’d broken up with you, to you.

And that left Mat in this current predicament: you in shock hiding in the bathroom, and Tito, no doubt, packing his suitcase and mourning your entire relationship.

Honestly, Mat was sick of you both. You were too blind to realise that you guys were made for each other – you were just too stubborn to connect the dots and allow yourselves to be happy – with each other.

Your reactions just seemed to lack emotion; it was as if someone had snuffed out your ability to feel – you looked subdued, an empty vacancy hidden behind your eyes.

And when he’d asked you if you were going to go with Anthony to Vancouver, you’d just stared, looking mildly unwell at the prospect.

“What else am I supposed to do?” You asked, placing a hand on your stomach as though to ease the rising sickness. Where had it come from? “He told me he was moving to Vancouver and that he didn’t want me to go with him. In fact, his exact words were ‘I don’t want you to come to Vancouver with me’ and ‘I want to break up’.”

Mat blanched, frustration fisting an angry hand in his chest, slowly pushing its way through his sternum.

He swore you two would be the death of him.

He didn’t say anything, but took your silence as an answer. You’d been throwing hopeful glances at the door, and he’d elected to ignore it in wanting to try to get you to see sense, but it seemed Tito had left that job even more difficult to follow through on with his harsh words.

Reluctant words. Words that Mat knew absolutely killed him to say to you.

He’d seen the way his friend had looked at you, and to know that he was moving to Vancouver – away from him and New York, a feat that he’d be doing alone – and leaving you behind was something that broke even Mat’s heart, and in that, he knew that it destroyed both yours and Tito’s.

If Mat hadn't known that Tito only broke up with you because he didn’t want you to drop everything for him, he would have assumed the guy was running from something.

In a sense, he was running away from you – but in doing so, he was running away from quite possibly the best thing he’d ever had in his life, and Mat wasn’t about to let either you or Tito make that mistake.

He didn’t voice any of that, however, just moved aside and let you through the door, making sure to keep a steady hand on your back in reassurance as you both made it out of the club, past the millions of couples devouring each other – who only served as a sour reminder of the night’s events – and outside.

It was chilly, and the frosty air nipped at your exposed skin.

You’d barely had time to string together a coherent thought before hands were tugging you in all directions; cold and clammy as you were pulled back and forth, concerned touches on your elbows, shoulders, and chin. You barely even registered exactly who you were looking at.

“Are you okay?”

“There’s a cute guy inside that’s been checking you out all night–”

“I can’t believe he just broke up with you.”

“Why isn’t she looking at us?”

Questions were fired left, right and centre, and you were numb to it all; their voices trickling in through one ear and flowing out of the other seamlessly. They sounded like they were underwater, and you felt Mat’s comforting hand on your back once more, gently guiding you away from your friends.

You heard him say something, it must have been something about getting you home because they all let out a chorus of disappointed ‘ohs’ and patted you sympathetically on your arm.

For some reason, hearing the truth of what actually happened barely half an hour ago seemed to set it into stone; it felt different keeping the breakup in the bathroom just between you and Mat – it felt more private somehow, like you could walk out of the room and pretend Anthony hadn’t left you in that club, heart shattered into oblivion and mind stuck on his words and the way he looked like he might break if you so much as even stepped towards him or touched him or whispered even a word of protest.

But you’d wandered outside in the hope of clearing your head, only to be bombarded and heralded and overwhelmed when you were busy trying to deal.

Why did he break up with you? You would have gone with him - you knew you would.

Did he get bored of you? He couldn’t have; he’d just told you he was wildly in love with you three weeks ago.

Had he met someone else? Was he in love with someone else?

And that was when you saw it; although they were further down the street, Mat pushing you into a walk as you both strolled down the sidewalk, you could just make it out in the hazy darkness.

They must have been illuminated by the light from the inside of the bar, because each time a door opened, their section of the sidewalk practically glowed, highlighting them.

You couldn’t see who the girl was, she seemed to be hidden from view by the man, but it was him who’d caught your attention. If it weren’t for Mat coaxing you along, you’d have frozen in place, eyes fixated watching them with the slow drip drip of dread pounding your body.

You were entranced by the way he brought his hands up to the side of her face, throwing his head backwards in a laugh – a real one, unbridled with joy – and then leant forwards, peppering kisses all over her face as she giggled sweetly at his attentions and affections. It wasn’t the PDA that had you stalling.

That man was Anthony. You could only see the back of his head, and he was further down than you, but he was around the same height and you could see the curls in his hair. He was even wearing a typical Anthony outfit.

It was simple, and you were sure almost every guy in the vicinity was wearing some variation of it, but what caught your eye was he was wearing the same grey t-shirt Beau had just left in.

It could have been any grey t-shirt.

But Anthony had just left wearing it and it was logical that he’d broken up with you because he was in love with that girl.

Mat seemed to sense your hesitation, and he slowed to a stop, brows furrowing at the intensity with which you were watching the young couple in front of you. His eyes drifted from you, his hand now gently grazing your forearm as though he was afraid you’d peel and leave him, to the couple.

He didn’t understand what was so compelling about them that had you completely fascinated. Granted, you looked horrified, and your eye twitched, a flash of pain appearing and then disappearing almost as soon as it had made its presence. If he thought you looked ill before, you looked like you were about to throw up–

He’d barely managed to steer you against a wall and wind your hair up before you’d thrown up on the side of the road.

You quickly pulled yourself up, hating that your eyes instantly drifted back over to the couple.

You frowned. The man wasn’t Anthony.

Then you hurled again, and Mat’s level of concern skyrocketed.

“How much did you have to drink?” He asked, helping you to stand back up, a slight grimace to his face as he made sure there were no splashes coating his jeans.

You briefly shut your eyes, stomach turning, feeling your heart break in real time as the emotions you’d bottled started to manifest itself in physical symptoms – completely against your will. Your eyes pricked with hot tears and the lump in your throat was back as your chin wobbled. You tried to hide behind your hand, but Mat had caught the momentary vulnerability before you could turn away.

He sighed, letting your hair fall back down and automatically pulling you into his chest.

“I didn’t have anything to drink.” You admitted.

His chest rumbled, and you didn’t know if it was the comfort he brought, because no one else seemed to understand what you were feeling at that moment, or if you simply craved a human touch from someone you trusted, but you felt your demeanour shatter, the tears tracking down your cheeks before you could catch them and reel them back in.

“I didn’t have anything to drink.” You repeated, shaking your head.

All you’d done was picture Anthony Beauvillier with other girls in love, and then promptly thrown up on the street.

Yeah, you were pretty fucked.

___

Yet, despite the fact that Anthony had moved to Vancouver, there was a temporary feeling about it – as though you didn’t believe the breakup had actually happened, or you didn’t believe it was really…a breakup?

It definitely had something to do with the fact that Mat was currently in your apartment, a rental, pre-furnished – one that rather conveniently, you hadn’t had the time to move into properly yet, and he was helping you box your belongings, taping the edges together and piling them up in the corner.

You were sorting out your clothes, placing them into a suitcase, and he was in the living room, going through your kitchen.

It hadn’t happened quickly. It took Mat a week to plant the seed in your mind, and it took you another three to decide to move out. Honestly, after Mat had pointed out that, in fact, your ‘friends’ weren’t really your friends; your job had previously offered you a different position in Surrey, not too far out from where you’d just rented another apartment – and it was a career move. That was what you kept telling yourself; technically the job move was a promotion – your salary had been upped and it was more of what you actually wanted to do job-wise.

Plus, your parents lived in Vancouver. You grew up there, went to school there, your friends still lived there. The only reason you stayed in New York was because you’d managed to snag a job straight out of college and you’d established a sort of life for yourself. Albeit, completely apart from your family, but you’d gotten used to the loneliness in college.

If anything, the only reason you’d stayed in New York and hesitated to accept that job offer in the first place – one that you’d gotten even before Anthony had dumped that bomb on you – was because of Mat.

You guys were pretty close, and it felt like a betrayal leaving him (especially after Anthony had just done the same thing, though it was out of his control) for the person he’d introduced to you.

And to say he was eager to send you back to Vancouver – ‘for your job opportunity’ – would be a bit of an understatement, if his volunteering to help you pack had anything to do with it.

It almost felt like someone had taken the knife already living in your chest and twisted it when you heard the song playing through the speakers. The song.

The melody was instantly familiar, even more so the croning of the voice, and it sent a pang of nostalgia ricocheting off the inside of your skull.

There were people everywhere; though it could have had something to do with the fact the venue was only one room – a large one at that, with tall ceilings and rather gorgeous curtains. The back wall was made up entirely of windows and the view overlooking the city was gorgeous from where you were standing. You swore you could see stars when you looked up.

Not that you looked very hard; your eyes were indefinitely locked onto Anthony as he leant back against the glass.

You were both sitting on the floor, him with his back to the glass, and you perpendicular. Somehow you’d both managed to find a quiet corner – literally – and sit down, because after you’d gone to get drinks, your chairs were occupied by some unfamiliar faces, and it was the perfect excuse to get him alone, at least to some extent.

You weren’t entirely isolated from the celebrations, but you made it work.

Your legs were stretched out along the floor, and because of the limitations of you being able to wear a dress in public, Anthony had elected to place his legs over the top of yours like some sort of criss-cross pattern. You were pressed together, him almost sitting on your lap, and you could tell he was comfy.

He’d shrugged his blazer off and a few extra buttons had come undone somewhere along the lines. Your hand stroked delicate motions on the material of his suit trousers, and although his head was resting against the glass, his eyes were watching your fingers.

There was a glass of champagne on either side of you both, yours empty, his only half.

Perhaps that was the reasoning behind your exaggerated reaction when you heard ‘Crazy in Love’ begin to play over the speakers.

You smiled to yourself, unaware of the soft look of mild amusement he was giving you. You’d noticed a pattern recently, and even through your high state of mind you’d somewhat remembered it.

“What?” His voice had your attention snapping back over to him, the motion of your hand on his leg never stopping. You could tell he was trying not to laugh, and you rolled your eyes.

“You haven’t noticed?” You ducked your head, disbelieving of his obliviousness. You threw your free hand in the direction of the music, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

“Clearly not.” He breathed a laugh, eyes lighting up at the mock offence you’d managed to implicate on your face.

“Everytime we go somewhere together, ‘Crazy in Love’ plays. Yesterday, at the restaurant; Mat even played it when he hosted dinner the other day…it’s just something I’ve noticed.”

“Now that you’ve mentioned it…” He trailed off, a cheeky smile donning his face as his cheeks turned a rosy pink.

“Now that I’ve mentioned it? How convenient–” You started, but were promptly cut off when he leant forwards, reducing the short distance already between you both, and kissed you.

It was an effective silencing method, one that he’d used on you many times before and one that you’d used on him before. You were at that stage where little displays of affection, no matter how intensely they made those butterflies swarm, didn’t swerve or particularly hinder the one-sided conversation anymore. In other words, they’d lost their effectiveness, and even after this realisation, it didn’t seem to stop either one of you giving or accepting such attentions.

“I was thinking,” he muttered, pulling away whilst you kept a hand on his wrist, preventing him from moving too far.

Usually you would have teased him, warned him to be careful in doing such a thing, and it seemed he was expecting some sort of comment, because he paused, brows furrowing when he was met with silence. You nodded, however, unable to hide the fact that you were completely enthralled by his existence – you were sure he could see it on your face; you could even feel your cheeks heat up for no apparent reason at all other than the magnetic pull you felt towards the man sitting in front of you – and urged him to continue.

“Maybe it should be our song?” He asked, lifting the hand in your grasp up to your face, momentarily brushing a strand of hair from your face with his thumb.

He wasn’t nervous about the suggestion, that much you could tell. He was comfortable, eagerly anticipating your answer.

You smiled, tilting your head and you felt your eyes widen slightly. It didn’t seem like a silly idea.

“Why?” You asked, unable to help the quick glance at his mouth.

“I think it’s fitting to us.” He shrugged.

You nodded, not entirely surprised by the implication. You hadn’t said the words yet, but you knew how you felt. Rather shockingly, however, it didn’t fill you with a sense of dread or unease.

So you replied, “I think it is too.”

Despite the complexity of love, it seemed remarkably simple with Anthony.

It certainly didn’t feel that way when you walked into your living room, seeing Mat half attempt to dance along with the music as he placed various cups and mugs into a box on the kitchen counter.

It felt irrevocably wrong to hear it without Anthony there, and that mere fact was what spurred you on to lean over the phone on the coffee table and hastily press the skip button.

You ignored Mat’s groan of disapproval as you wordlessly made your way back to the bedroom.

“What are your neighbours like?” It was Mat on the phone, his face in the frame on FaceTime as he virtually kept you company as emptied the last couple of boxes.

You’d officially moved back to Vancouver a month ago, your parents offering your childhood room back for the first few weeks until you moved in properly. You didn’t exactly have the heart to say no to them, but their coddling (however attentive it was) had begun to get a little overbearing, so you’d taken every opportunity to sneak over to your new apartment and empty as much as you could.

It was fairly livable now: your main priority had been the kitchen and bedroom, and you’d emptied nearly everything to the point you were comfortable actually moving in. In reality, you knew if your parents hadn’t been there you’d have easily put up with living in a skeletal apartment – so for that, you were grateful.

All the nighttime sneaking out of your parent’s house and into your apartment had meant that you’d neglected to actually talk and meet your neighbours. All you knew was there was an elderly couple living two doors down, who’d only smiled at you in passing, and there had been a card posted under your door from your neighbour on your right, but you didn’t know what they looked like.

So when Mat asked you that question, you sighed, “I don’t actually know.”

He didn’t seem too shocked, and nodded in understanding.

“I probably need to, to be honest, I got something posted under my door the other day.”

At this, his interest peaked, and you saw him look up from his plate, raising an eyebrow, “Who was it from?”

You frowned, his rather exaggerated interest raising your suspicions, and froze from where you were unwrapping a glass, “Why?”

He shrugged, playing it off, “Because I think it’s important to know who you’re living around. What if something happens and you need help? Forget your key?”

You returned to your previous task, mulling his words over. You knew he was right because you’d had that exact same reasoning drilled into you since you’d left home in college, but your why hadn’t really been directed at meeting your neighbours, more, “Why were you so interested in who it was when you asked?”

He swallowed, shrugging once more, “Just am. No reason.”

You didn’t believe him, and he could clearly sense it, because he rolled his eyes, not saying anything else.

“It was from ‘Number Twenty-Three’.” You answered, watching him carefully, still not entirely trusting him.

He just nodded, ensuring to keep his facial expressions impassive as he shovelled another spoonful of rice into his mouth, not caring when a few grains fell back onto his plate.

There was a few more minutes of general chatter, and you found yourself sitting back against the sofa, pensieve as you took in your new living quarters.

“Do you think I was silly moving here?” You asked Mat, not looking at him as he pondered the question.

“No.” Was all he said, and you turned your eyes back to him.

The thought was something that had been majorly playing on your mind since you first agreed to move back to Vancouver. There was a part of you that knew you wouldn’t have even considered moving back if Tito hadn’t gone – and it freaked you out. You were aware putting Tito above all else was risky, especially considering the fact you hadn’t messaged him since you’d broken up; you didn’t know where he was or if he’d even want you anymore, if he had a girlfriend. It had been months, and you knew he was a desirable guy. You wouldn’t blame him if he’d moved on.

But there was always that nagging thing that had you feeling like you’d moved only because of Anthony, and you hated it so much. It made you want to curl up and teleport back to your old life in New York, but even the thought of that made your stomach turn because you knew he wouldn’t be there.

It just kept coming back to him.

You didn’t know what would happen if he saw you – that was assuming you ever gained the courage to actually face him again.

A part of you felt almost sheepish at the mere idea of seeing him. Sure, your heart rate picked up and your hands trembled against your will, mouth going dry as you remembered the night he broke up with you.

And the only reason you knew you could confide in Mat was because he had both sides of it; although he didn’t talk about it much – presumably for your own fragile heart – you knew he talked to him as much as he could, if not, everyday. You felt like you were using him as a bridge, and even then his words of encouragement fell on deaf ears, your own insecurities drowning them out with fears of rejection.

You wouldn’t have even moved to Vancouver if it hadn't been for Mat’s support and help.

He sighed, and you could tell he’d sussed you and your doubts out.

“He told me he’s not been able to even look at another woman without feeling like he’s gonna hurl.” He started, pausing to gauge your reaction. You swallowed, feeling a little guilty at the relief you’d felt upon his confession, “He asks about you everyday, and he’s not doing too well. I don’t even know if he’s sleeping properly.”

You remained silent, instead choosing to reach a hand into the box next to you.

Fuck.

One of Anthony’s Islander’s caps.

Almost instantaneously you felt your eyes begin to water, both at the hat and everything Mat had just told you.

It was a lot, all of this new change, in one go.

“I think I’m gonna go.” You said quietly, trying to hide the way your voice cracked a little at the end. You refrained from sniffling, not wanting to raise Mat’s concern.

“Okay,” he muttered, his voice soft, “Look after yourself. Call me if you need anything.”

You nodded, pressing your lips together, not trusting yourself to speak.

“Maybe think about replying to number twenty-three? Look at making a few new friends, yeah?”

You laughed, though it was watery – the kind that had you questioning if you wanted to cry or not, “‘S not one of your worst ideas, actually.”

“Hey.” He mocked, faking offence, “But, really, I think you should.”

“I think I might.” You admitted.

You missed the way he sagged.

“Good.” There was a brief pause, “Anyway, love you, miss you, have fun unpacking.” He waved at the camera, flashing you a charming smile, which you didn’t hesitate to reciprocate.

“Miss you too, Barzy. Try not to hurt yourself before I next see you.” It was a low blow, and you saw the hurt flick over his face momentarily.

Then you promptly ended the call, unable to stop yourself laughing a little.

___

Tito had just finished washing up when a piece of paper slipped under his door.

He’d stopped what he was doing, midway to the living room. The paper had slipped under his door coincidentally at the exact moment he was walking past it, and he’d frozen, creeped out at the timing. It was almost as if the person on the other side had known he was walking past the door and chosen that specific moment in time to post the letter through with the purposeful intent of freaking him the fuck out.

Nevertheless, he’d put his coffee mug down on the counter, reaching to inspect the piece of paper.

He almost dropped it when he saw the writing.

His face drained of blood, and before he’d even opened it, he’d thrown the door open, hastily checking the hallway.

It was empty.

Disappointment clawed at his chest, but he remained somewhat hopeful, his fingers working quickly to unfold it, his foot holding the door open in case they decided to make another appearance.

Why did he spend so long looking at it? He could have caught her, for fuck’s sake.

It was a stretch, in hindsight. There had to be at least a million people who flicked their ‘f’ like that, and there had to be even more who wrote at an angle like that, with their letters remaining round.

It had to be common.

Thank you for the welcome, 23.

Then when his eyes tracked down to the sign-off, he swore someone was playing tricks on him.

Obviously, his immediate reaction – completely bypassing the excitement and blinding fear of her having moved on from him bubbling in his stomach – and shut the door behind him, scrambling for his phone.

Mat picked up almost instantly.

“You fucking prick–”

Needless to say, the injured Islander knew exactly what he was talking about.

___

He’d not wanted to scare you, truly.

Since Mat had admitted to everything – from the reason you’d moved to his helping hand in finding you a place to live temporarily – he’d taken measures to ensure you didn’t run into him without any semblance of warning, but he’d found it much harder to put into practice.

He’d almost run into you three times in the past week, and every time he had to leave or enter his apartment, he’d take a cautious look down the hall and run – not wanting to startle you too much.

He just didn’t want to catch you off guard was all.

He knew you’d probably want to see him under your own control, and he was all for waiting for you. From what he’d been told, you weren’t doing much better than him.

But he’d known his luck was bound to run out at some point.

Which was how he’d found himself in this exact predicament.

___

You’d been weirdly wanting to go downstairs. You didn’t know why you’d had the sudden urge, but all you did know was that there was a lounge and a bar, and you were in desperate need of some socialising. It had been a gruelling week – and incredibly dull – unpacking your things and overthinking your first day at work, and you needed to escape from it all.

Each and every time you’d left your apartment, you’d cast a curious glance at your neighbour’s door. Number twenty-three.

They were a perfect neighbour: very rarely did they disturb you, and when they did it was only the quiet hum of some music that you guessed must have been played in their bathroom, because when you pressed your ear against the wall it felt as though you were standing right next to a speaker.

The only issue you’d had with them was that you hadn’t seen them; whenever you’d heard their door shut, you’d immediately gone to look through your peephole, only to be met with an empty corridor.

It had frustrated you to no end, but you’d coped, helplessly wondering when you could thank them. They’d been the first person to welcome you and you hadn’t even seen them yet – there had been a nagging in the back of your mind that perhaps they’d been dodging you, but there was no way it could have possibly been intentional. You’d barely been at work a full two weeks, which hardly gave them time to actually deduce your timetable or hours.

You’d been watching the Canucks, unable to help yourself from consuming every piece of media Anthony was part of, and then you’d switched off the TV a few hours later, completely alone and needing to get out of the confines of your apartment – desperately and immediately.

That was how you’d come to be locking your door from the outside – ever-weary – and frozen, nerves tingling and heart pounding with nerves as you heard a pair of footsteps coming down the hallway. They were slow, and you could vaguely make out the sound of their trudging, so you’d stalled, secretly hoping that they’d be Number 23.

You’d pretended to fiddle with your keys as you waited for the footsteps to round the corner only when they did, you heard them stop short of you, a quiet “Putain” whispered under their breath.

You frowned, not yet looking up at the person. There was something familiar about their whisper, something you couldn’t quite place immediately.

It was a different story when you looked up.

You could immediately tell from the soft echo of sorrow on his face and abundant lack of shock at your appearance that he wasn’t entirely surprised at your presence. His hand was firmly holding the end of his duffel bag that was slung over his shoulder, and he was wearing the usual suit, his cheeks still a little flushed from the match you’d only been watching a while ago.

You couldn’t help thinking that the TV screen did him no justice, because even though he wasn’t smiling or expressing any semblance of excitement at your presence, he was stunningly breathtaking in your opinion. His eyes were wide, and his mouth was parted – he hadn’t wanted to see you at that moment, that much was obvious from the expression stagnant on his face.

You, on the other hand, found yourself quite unable to draw oxygen into your lungs at his sudden appearance. You were completely frozen, unable to do anything other than stare dumbly, your jaw half-dropped in sheer shock.

Your heart was thunderous, practically clashing against your ribcage so hard you were sure you could feel the pain of it, and your mouth had dried, eyes watering. You weren’t on the verge of tears, by any means. In fact, you felt rather numb to any sort of emotion, because you’d prepared yourself for this moment for months, and now that he was standing in front of you, looking almost sheepish at your lack of understanding, you were unable to string even a coherent thought together.

There was a moment when you had thought he’d arrived in your hallway purely to see you, but that had quickly dissipated when he regained his composure, seemingly on the verge of saying something, and slowly walked past you, unable to tear his eyes away.

You let out a shaky breath when he reached the door branded ‘23’, and furrowed your brows.

He’d been in front of you this entire time–fucking Mat.

He’d orchestrated this car crash. He was the one who’d suggested you speak to your boss whilst he’d look at possible apartment rentals for you, and you’d naively agreed, assuming he had no ulterior motives in his uncharacteristic generosity considering he’d been nothing but helpful with your entire move, but right now you hated his guts.

Anthonylooked away, briefly, considering something for a second, before looking straight back towards you, a hand smoothing his hair back unconsciously. Neither of you said anything as he blindly unlocked his door, taking one last look at you, before stepping through.

It was only when his door slammed shut that you were able to take a breath.

The hand that had been fiddling with your keys dropped to your side, and you were hardly able to realise what you were doing before you’d unlocked your door, flinging it open and making a direct beeline for the box you’d purposefully avoided since your unfortunate FaceTime call with Mat. Your hand immediately sought out the cap, and operating purely on adrenaline and the mindset of ‘what-the-fuck-I-have-nothing-to-lose’, you’d made your way back out of the door, plans to head downstairs completely forgotten.

You wouldn’t have done it if you hadn't had the confidence instilled in you from Mat, that Tito had been miserable since he’d left New York, even despite the efforts of his new teammates to introduce him to Vancouver society.

Your brain must have been running a mile a minute, because when you clashed into a suit-clad chest, not entirely taken aback by his sudden appearance, you were pushing the cap at him.

“You made me cry over a fucking hat, did you know that?” You asked, the Islander’s cap hanging between you.

Tito blanched, unable to speak.

You waited in anticipation, pursing your lips harshly to stop yourself from speaking.

You wanted him to say something to alleviate the doubts you’d had.

He gave you nothing.

“Say something.” You implored, hand dropping.

He took a breath, relaxing as his shoulders slumped forwards, “I’m sorry I made you cry over my hat.”

Your jaw clenched, fighting the burning in your eyes. You absolutely refused to cry until he confirmed what Mat had been telling you – only then would you let yourself break. You also had to be inside an apartment; you weren’t about to let yourself cry in the hallway for all your new neighbours to see.

“I’m sorry I broke up with you.”

It was quiet, so much so you would have had to strain your ears to hear him. His voice sounded broken and weak, and when you looked up at him his eyes were pooling with regret, lips turned down in what you could only place as sadness. It was plain and bare, and so hopelessly effortless than you felt yourself soften, even despite the bitterness you still held against him.

“Why?” You asked, not reaching for him. You were determined to keep him in the balance, refusing to give him even a snippet of what you were feeling. It may have been a harsh play on your behalf, but you weren’t about to forgive him too easily for unnecessary heartache.

He hesitated, fingers tapping his thigh uneasily, “Because we’d only been dating a few months and I didn’t want to ask you to uproot your entire life to Vancouver just for me.”

His honesty was startling, and you took a sharp step backwards.

It seemed too good to be true, yet you hated the doubt and mistrust placed in him to the point you felt like you were betraying him.

“I uprooted my entire life to move from Vancouver to New York in the first place, you know that.” You replied, somewhat coldly, turning around and entering your apartment.

There was that prickling feeling as though you were being watched through peepholes, and you desperately needed space to breathe.

You heard Anthony follow you, the door clicking shut behind you with ease, and you threw yourself onto the sofa, dreading and anticipating the late conversation.

“I do.” He admitted, hands in his pocket as he seated himself on the coffee table in front of you, “But I also know that you don’t enjoy change and I felt guilty even—”

“You didn’t even ask.” You interrupted, irritation flaring up.

He sighed through his nose, and you could tell he was almost as fired up as you were. This argument had been a long time coming, the reasons and excuses simmering beneath your skin for far too long, and now you were facing each other with no particular time constraint considering the fact you now shared a wall — something you couldn’t quite decide if it was a blessing or a curse.

“If I had asked, would you have come?”

“I guess we’ll never know,” you snapped back, looking at him as he rolled his eyes, “You really fucking made sure of that, didn’t you?”

“Well I apologise for trying to protect you from making a decision that could have ruined your career–”

“I don’t need protection, Beauvillier,” he winced, the surname jab stinging, “I can make my own decisions perfectly well.”

“Let me rephrase: I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to come with me because I wanted you to.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, jaw clenching.

“I would have wanted to go with you, dipshit.” You fired back.

“Would have?” He repeated, tilting his head, that wild element of determination flashing through his eyes. He was clearly referring to the past tense you’d used.

“Yes.” You breathed, “I would have, because I’d gotten a promotion located in Vancouver, and the only reason I would have said no, as much as I’m ashamed to admit it, was because of you and your stupid hockey team. I thought you’d stay an Islander so I held off–”

He spluttered, “And you didn’t think to tell me?” His voice raised in pitch, hands flying in front of him as he tried to convey his exasperation.

“No!” You raised your voice incredulously, unable to hide your appall from him, “You left before I could even argue against the breakup and I haven’t seen you since.”

“Ah,” he held up a finger, dodging your lame attempt to swat it away, “But when did you get the offer, huh?”

You paused, feeling your cheeks flush with colour, “You don’t have to patronise me, Tito.”

“Tell me when, and I won’t have to.” He explained, eyes wide as he waited for your answer.

“I got it a couple of days before you broke up with me.” You admitted, voice now a few notches lower.

“And why didn’t you say anything before?” His voice tipped with an edge of regret as he spoke, desperation coating his words as he finished his question.

You were both breathing heavily, adamant to portray your points and frustrations. Neither of you seemed to be thinking much of anything but about the other – much less of what or who you’d been doing since your departure – Mat’s words to both of you seemed to have eased that question, allowing you to freely have at one another without any holding back or worrying about the other’s antics.

You were both clearly still hung up on each other, and that knowledge had you feeling both euphoric and hopeful – a dangerous concoction you’d acknowledged amidst partially yelling at each other. Despite that, it was obvious you’d both been holding back – voices strained for the sake of not wanting to disturb your neighbours, even if you were closer to the wall you shared with Tito than your other neighbour.

“Because I didn’t want to be that girlfriend who says ‘oh, by the way, if those crazy rumours of you getting transferred to the other side of the continent were true, you totally wouldn’t have to worry about our relationship because I’d most definitely go with you anyway’, and then before I could tell you that you ran out of the club. Then when I tried to ring you literally a day later, you’d blocked me on everything!” You rolled your eyes, groaning when he took his blazer off, his hands on his hips after loosening his tie.

You didn’t know if he was doing it on purpose to gain an upper hand in the argument, but it had you losing your train of thought briefly.

“Oh, so now it’s all my fault?” He frowned, a crease forming between his brows.

You laughed bitterly, “Dude, of course it’s your fault. You didn’t let me not allow you to break up with me.”

“But you didn’t tell me about the job offer – which, by the way, is amazing, so congratulations, I’m incredibly proud of you,” he sidetracked, his voice becoming gentler and allowing himself to express a little sincerity within his facial expressions, before returning to its previous sternness, “But you telling me about that job offer would have quietened any doubts I ever had about dragging you here.”

“Well, it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it?” You muttered sarcastically.

“You’re telling me? I just didn’t want you to be unhappy for the sake of my own happiness, okay?” He held up his hands in surrender, waiting for you to respond.

You shrugged, still not quite believing where he was coming from, “Why were you doubting it, I’m literally in love with you. I told you that.”

“Well, I’m in love with you, too. But I guess my guilt overpowered that. I wanted you to come to Vancouver because you wanted to, not because you felt like you had to.”

“You didn’t even ask me, though. You took that right away from me.” You said.

You’d both softened, voices dropping a few octaves and flailing limbs reducing as your frustrations slowly poured out of you.

“And what would you have said if I’d have asked?” He echoed from before, slightly breathless as his chest heaved.

He was looking straight at you, curiosity and a destructive hope practically radiating from his face. He wanted you to say no, to reassure him he’d made the right decision.

“I would have said yes.”

His face collapsed, and his hands immediately went to cover his eyes for a few seconds. You stayed rooted to your spot, watching him mutter to himself and shake his head. You couldn't hear what he was saying – some complex French mutterings, your ears may have picked up a string of profanities.

Then, just as you were beginning to submit to the gravitational pull towards him, he lifted himself back up, eyes watering and rimmed red – it had you wondering if this was how he’d spent your days and nights apart; torturing himself with what could have been if only he’d had the courage to ask you the question. You knew you were in no position whatsoever to criticise his lack of action, however. It was just the only thing you could stomach to blame.

At least this way you knew the fate of your misery the past few months had been out of your control, even if that small voice in the back of your mind screamed against that.

“Of course you would have.” He nodded, foot tapping against your floor. He still had a lot of pent up agitation begging to be relieved.

He’d just played a match and he still had energy to burn.

Instead, you did the thing you weren’t entirely expecting, and you could tell from his face that he wasn’t expecting you to pull such a move, either.

What you really wanted to do was launch yourself at him – there was no doubt in your mind he’d catch you, he always did – and not let him go, but you held back, both for your own sanity and his, as well as the fact that you knew you were both going to have to spend the night in your own beds, absorbing and mulling over every single thing that had come to light.

“We’re both idiots that should probably work on our communication skills a little more.”

The trace of a small smile worked its way onto his face, an idea flashing through his mind, “What was that?”

You didn’t even think before you’d picked up a cushion from the sofa and launched it in his direction. It felt like you’d been anticipating such a trashy joke because your aim was spot on; the cushion smacked him squarely in the face, eliciting a shout of surprise.

After he’d let it fall to the floor you both stood in your half-made-up living room, both your hands on your hips and considering each other carefully.

You didn’t know how you were going to go from here, but you knew what you wanted to get out of it, and what you wanted was the man standing in front of you, bravely looking as confused as you felt.

“You played really well tonight.” You said, desperately wanting to break the tense silence.

You could tell what he wanted to do, and you couldn’t exactly deny that you also felt that same desire begin to burn you from the inside, but you knew you had to make him work for it.

“Thank you.” He replied earnestly, not entirely shocked by your revelation. Since he’d found out you were his neighbour, he’d been keeping an ear out for your TV patterns.

On more than one occasion he’d been able to hear the NHL channel blast through the walls.

“No problem.”

“I think I should go.” He made no move to do such a thing.

“I think you should.” This time, he took a few steps towards your door, his hand hovering over the handle as though expecting you to change your mind, before throwing it open and leaving as quickly as he could.

Your head was a mess and your chest was surely about to implode.

You let yourself think it over for about five minutes, hands pressed together and resting against your mouth as your eyes darted across the room. You caught sight of the Islander’s hat on the sofa – when had you even let go of it? – and picked it up, leaving your apartment to knock on his door.

He must have been standing behind it waiting for you because it swung open only on the second knock and you barely had time to breathe before you were tugged roughly against his chest, your hands not wasting any time in burrowing themselves in his hair, and moving your mouth against his, tongues intertwined and breathing just as heavy as it had been when you were arguing.

It was short, possibly about ten seconds of unadulterated desire and lust and love, before you were shoving him away, attempting to maintain some seriousness. It failed drastically, your eyes working to keep up the act, but your mouth giving you away hilariously as you still felt the remnants of his kiss on you, leaving you able to do nothing but smile dumbly at him.

“I’m giving you this back.” You shoved his hand against his chest, but he made no move to take it off you.

“I don’t want it.”

“Neither do I.”

“It looks better on you.” He argued, taking it from your hand and placing it on your head.

You pulled a face, and swiped it off, “I’ve always been more of a Nucks fan than an Islanders, so, no thank you.” You let it drop between you, before failing to resist pressing another hot kiss to his mouth, dodging out of his needy hold and leaving. You hear the vague protest of “I’m telling Mat you said that!” and you spun on your heel, inappropriately shouting, “Fucking go ahead!” Before you shut your door, unable to process anything until you collapsed onto your bed face-first, cursing Mat Barzal’s wicked plotting.

#tito beauvillier x reader #anthony beauvillier x reader #anthony beauvillier imagine #anthony beauvillier oneshot #tito beauvillier imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine

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