#yikes sorry if it ended a bit weird

[zepskies]

Hey could I please request headcanons for how Dean would react to reader texting him "she's busy" as a joke, yk kind of like

Dean: Hey baby

Reader: She's busy

I really hope this makes sense and isn't so confusing 😭😭

Ooh I think I know what you mean. 😏

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F. Reader Word Count: 850

Imagine: Texting Dean when he's on a hunt.

Once again, Dean sighed while he waited on his brother.

They were stopped at a 7-Eleven gas station after a hunt, but Dean had long ago filled up Baby's tank. Sam was inside, grabbing a few snacks for the road tomorrow. Supposedly.

Dean fished out his phone from his pocket and texted him.

Hey, Driving Miss Daisy. You good in there?

A couple of minutes later, Sam responded.

Yeah, just getting a few things.

Dean rolled his eyes. Right.

For half an hour? What, you taking a shit or something?

Sam's response was testy, just as Dean predicted.

Dean, give me a minute. Jesus.

Dean sighed, with a roll of his eyes. He scrolled back into his texts and found your name. He was a couple of states over from Lebanon, but still within the same timezone. You should still be awake back at the bunker.

He decided he wanted to hear your voice, let you know that he and Sam were going to catch one more night of rest here at the motel before they made the long drive back home.

But...you didn't answer when he called.

Weird. You were typically a night owl, either watching something or plugging away at your laptop. He tried texting you instead.

Hey, baby. You up?

He eventually saw the three gray dots pop up. You were typing...

She's busy.

Dean frowned. What the hell?

Had you invited someone over? Like Jody or Donna?

But neither of them would've replied like that...so he texted back.

Stop messing around.

Dean tried calling you again, but it went directly to voicemail this time. In came another text from "you."

She'll call you back, dude.

Dean's jaw ticked with annoyance. And despite himself, unease began to creep in and churn his stomach.

What the fuck is this?

She's in the shower. I'll tell her to call you back, no worries.

All right. WHO is this?

Ooh, are you the boyfriend? Yikes lol.

A deep, slow breath made it through Dean's nose. He closed his eyes, counted to ten, reminded himself that he did, in fact, love you.

Then he responded.

Babe, if you don't call me in the next 30 seconds, there's gonna be hell to pay when I get home.

Dean checked his watch and actually counted. About ten seconds passed before his phone rang with an incoming call...from you. He answered.

"Promise?" came your teasing voice. When it ended on a giggle, Dean rolled his eyes and rested his head back on the seat. He blew out a frustrated breath.

"Oh, trust and believe. You're gonna fuckin' get it this time," he said, though his lips curved on a reluctant smirk. You full on laughed at him then.

"You make it too easy," you replied.

He knew this. It wasn't the first time you'd teased him, and he knew it wouldn't be the last.

Still, he couldn't help being a bit irritated this time.

"You know, how would you like it if I did that to you?" he asked. "Wouldn't be so fucking funny then, would it?"

"...Okay. You're right. I'm sorry, baby," came your more contrite voice. But he could still hear your smile. Could imagine the way you might soothe a hand along his arm, if you were here.

"How about I make it up to you?" you offered.

That worked a slow smirk onto his face. "Yeah? What did you have in mind?"

For the next few minutes, you purred into his ear about all the things you'd been thinking of while he was gone. Daydreaming about the talents of his hands, lips, and tongue.

In particular, you reminded him about a certain birthday wish that he still hadn't claimed from a couple weeks ago, when he and Sam got wind of this hunt.

Two weeks really was too damn long, in your opinion. (He agreed with you.)

Now with a half-straining bulge in his jeans, Dean licked his lips and tightened his hand on the leather wheel of the car.

"All right. Sounds like a plan to me, sweetheart," he said, deceptively breezy. As if you'd just told him you planned to make tacos for dinner.

"When are you getting home?" you asked.

He heard the tone of your voice, like black silk. It sent a tendril of heat down his spine, raising the hairs on his forearms.

"Tonight," Dean said. Deeper, a note of gravel in his words. "I'll see you tonight."

"Good." Once again, he heard the smile in your voice. "I love you."

He sighed, and raised a hand to card through his hair.

"Love you too...even though you play too fucking much," he muttered the latter bit.

Your laughter once again reached his ears, reluctantly making him smile.

He hung up with you just before Sam finally opened the passenger seat door and climbed in with two hefty grocery bags. Did he do a whole damn shopping spree in there?

...Whatever. Dean shook his head and started the car.

"Change of plan," he said. "We're heading home."

"What? Thought we were gonna catch a few hours of sleep. It's a long drive, Dean," Sam said, earning his brother's gaze.

"Yeah, well, you'll live," Dean snarked. A more devious grin spread across his face. "I've got a date."

And she's about to get punished.

The Impala's tires screeched as Dean pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

AN: Ha! This one was fun. 😘 Thanks for the prompt!

Dean Winchester Imagines

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[noosayog]

[how a loser dates] ft. kuroo

warnings/content: fem! reader x kuroo, office setting, timeskip characters obvi, fluff and kuroo being a loser

wc: 1.2k

"Morning, princess," your coworker, Kuroo, calls out teasingly from his desk in reference to the dress you're wearing today that replaces your usual slacks. 

"Morning, rooster head."

He chuckles a bit and returns his attention to his computer. 

Throughout the morning, Kuroo looks up every now and then, just staring at you but saying nothing. It's only later in the afternoon when you're settled down from the rush of the morning that Kuroo asks. "What's the occasion?"

"What?" you ask distractedly.

"The occasion," he repeats. His voice comes from right over your head and you look up to see his desk empty. Instead, he's standing behind you, leaning an elbow against the wall of your cubicle.

"What?" you parrot.

His eyes drift deliberately down your silhouette, then back up to meet your gaze, punctuating his silent question with a raise of his brow.

"Oh," you laugh. "The dress? I have a date tonight."

Kuroo's other brow raises. "A date?"

"Yeah."

“With who?” 

You swivel your chair to face him with your whole body. “You wouldn’t know them. They’re not from work.” 

He hums in acknowledgment then walks away with a pensive expression. 

–

It’s almost the end of the work day when you hear your boss’s reprimanding voice. You look up from your computer to see your boss angrily saying something to Kuroo about losing the data for an important client call tomorrow. 

After your boss stomps away, you hear Kuroo sigh. His eyes meet yours. 

“You okay?” you ask. “What happened?” 

“I was supposed to store the presentation for tomorrow’s client call but for some reason, I can’t find it anywhere on my drive.” 

“Did you check your trash?” 

“Empty.” 

“Yikes.” 

“Yeah.” 

You stare back at him, lips pursed.

“Well…” he says awkwardly. “I better get to it if I’m going to redo the presentation by tomorrow.” 

You swallow guiltily, throat itching to offer help. No, you can't. You have plans tonight. 

“Okay, good luck,” you say instead. 

He deflates. “Thanks.” 

Concentration broken, you return to your work. You shift uncomfortably when you hear him sigh. 

Five minutes later, another deep exhale. 

You can’t stop yourself when you finally ask, “do you want me to help?” 

Kuroo perks up, head poking out from the walls of the cubicle. “I mean I would love help, but you have plans and all tonight…” he trails off. 

“The reservation isn’t until 7, so I’ll help until then.” 

“Great, thanks!” he smiles. 

–

Kuroo is an efficient worker. It’s almost as if he had the entire thing memorized as he effortlessly lists off the slides that need to be redone, easily navigating to the resources that have the perfect data for each topic. 

“It’s like you don’t even need my help for this,” you joke. 

“No!” he interrupts loudly. 

You give him a weird look.

“Sorry” he mutters. “Can you summarize the data from these sites?” 

He passes you a sticky note with 2 websites on them. When you navigate to them, they’re long, tedious pages. You settle into your chair and get focused. If you’re going to leave here by 6:30, you better get working. 

When you finally pass the data to Kuroo, the two of you begin to compile the data you’ve respectively gathered into the proper slide deck format. When 6:30 rolls around, the to-do’s left still make up a massive mountain. 

“Um,” you say. 

Kuroo takes an exaggerated look at the watch on his wrist. “Oh, your date.” 

“Yeah.” 

He looks at the progress on the presentation just stares at the screen.

“Kuroo?” 

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, don’t worry about me. You’ve already helped so much. Go ahead and have fun on your date.” 

“Okay…” you say hesitantly, packing up your bag. Before you leave, you look back to see Kuroo, alone in the office, leaning heavily against the back of his chair with his arms draped over his eyes. You hear him sigh again before guiltily leaving him behind. 

You make it all the way to the lobby before you can’t stand it anymore. You text your date that you won’t be able to make it rush back up to the office. 

Kuroo looks surprised when you drop your things off at your desk and return to his side. 

“What happened? Don’t you need to leave?” 

“I can’t just leave you here by yourself with all this, you’ll never finish.” 

“Are you sure…” he trails off. 

“Shut up and get working.” 

“Yes, ma’’am,” he salutes. 

– 

Late in the night, even after security has left the building, Kuroo gets up. 

“We need a break,” he says. “Want some coffee?” 

“Sure,” you say, equally exhausted. 

He gets up to head to the break room as you continue to fiddle around with the slide deck. As you look through his computer, your eyes slide to the little trash can on the screen and see that it’s not empty. Curiously, you click into it and the first thing you see is the very client presentation that the two of you have been slaving away at to reproduce. 

“Oh my god, Kuroo!” you say excitedly. You repeat his name, but he must not hear you, because there’s no response. 

Then, you notice the time of deletion. 3:52PM. You remember Kuroo getting chewed around 4PM. If he deleted it, there’s no way he would forget that quickly. And he said he had checked his trash. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Kuroo comes back, holding two steaming cups of coffee and tie thrown over a shoulder. “I heard you calling.” 

“Kuroo,” you say, pointing at the screen. 

When Kuroo sees what you’re pointing at, his smile freezes in place. 

“What’s this?” 

You press when he doesn’t respond. “Why did you purposely get yourself into trouble?” 

He stares at the screen, avoiding your eyes. 

“Kuroo!” 

“Okay!” he breathes. He mumbles something unintelligible. 

“... go on your date,” you hear. 

“What? Speak up,” you say irritatedly. 

“I didn’t want you to go on your date. Okay? I know it’s immature of me to resort to such tactics, but I’ve been dropping hints for awhile and I dunno, I guess I just got impatient.” 

You sigh.

“Well, I’m just glad that you aren’t going to be yelled at because there’s no way we were going to finish by tomorrow.” 

“You’re not mad?” 

“I am. Why couldn’t you have just asked me out on a date like a normal person?” 

“I’ve asked you to go on coffee runs with me?” 

You pinch at the bridge of your nose. “Being our boss’s errand boy does not count as a date, Kuroo.” 

He just chuckles, abashed. His cheeks are turning pink and you sigh, feeling almost affectionate at how your snarky, quick-witted coworker is reduced to the romantic maturity of a high-schooler in front of you. 

“Okay, well, since I didn’t get to eat tonight, you owe me dinner,” you say, throwing him a bone. 

He blinks. “Like a date?” he asks dumbly. 

You sigh exasperatedly for what feels like the millionth time that night. “Yes, Kuroo. A date.” you emphasize heavily on date, worried that he still won’t get the picture. 

“It’s late, so there’s probably only ramen shops around if that’s okay? But I promise to take you out to a nicer diner. Like a real date.” he promises solemnly. 

“You’re already assuming I’m going to want to go on a second date with you?” 

His signature grin returns in full force. “Oh, princess. You’re gonna want that second date. Trust me.” 

“Only ‘cuz I want to see how you tame your hair for a real date.” 

“Told ‘ya you’d want a second date.”

[justkennadi]

Armin if he was 🖤Goth🖤

Notes: Got this cool idea in my head abt a grown up version of asot armin 🤔 (it’s really cause i saw these pictures on pinterest tho) if u don’t know what asot is it stands for A slap on titan which is parody type series on youtube. 👍🏾👍🏾 but sorry if this isn’t quite accurate to what being goth is like i’m honestly still in my baby’s bat phase so i don’t know much 😭😭

Context: Modern Asot!Armin x Fem Goth!reader

Warnings: mention of ritual attempts but that’s it

- You first saw him in middle school on the first day of 8th grade. This new blond kid just transferred in and everyone was excited to meet him!

- Well that didn’t last long.

- While you weren’t present but apparently he started spewing crazy things and started talking to himself (or a cat, everyones stories was different) and while he did good in class teachers didn’t appreciate his out bursts.

- People were QUICKLY frightened and bothered by him. He had no friends.

- You were dipping your toes into the whole gothic subculture yourself at the time but you weren’t too interested. However it seemed this new kid was in love with the whole thing. He wore all black all the time, sometimes a bit of eyeliner. He had the whole vibe to him.

- So something about him interested you.

- However, before you got the chance to go up to him, he ended up getting expelled and put in a mental hospital for attempting to perform a ritual on a 6th grader? Yikes.

- He made the news and that’s when you learned his name. Armin…

- As the years went by you slowly forgot about him. But how could you fully? He was your craziest story to tell to friends. A funny and wacky memory to reflect on.

- Now you are in your 2nd year of college. You have decided while you aren’t fully goth(at least you thought) you liked the idea and did get into some of the music and fashion but you stuck to causal clothes most days. And you never got into the heavy makeup you see most goths wear. You learned it’s more about the music anyways which helped.

- You had a slight fascination with darker things and had to constantly tell people you aren’t depressed even if you looked the part.

- One day, while in the library looking for an Edgar Allen Poe book for your book report you accidentally bumped into a slightly taller boy.

- “Sorry! My bad-“

- You realized as you looked at his face…well, did you realize? Is this him?

- “It’s fine.” The boy quietly replied.

- Oh.

- He had blond hair…blue eyes… this could be any white boy honestly. Plus his hair was shorter? And he looked more….put together? He wore a plain brown suit get up with polished brown loafers.

- “Is something the matter?” He asked looking at you.

-“Sorry…i’m sorry you just look.. familiar?” You say squinting your eyes slightly but you realized you might be acting weird so you start to go around him after apologizing again.

- However, before you can…

- “Let me guess. You remembered the crazy, sadistic boy from your childhood and i look like him.” He says stopping you.

- You slowly nod.

- “Yeah, well, it was me.” He looked away for a second. Possibly embarrassed?

- “Armin? Well, you clean up..nice…” You say taking in his appearance once again.

- “Well, a few years of a mental hospital and therapy can do that….” He chuckled. “I see you’re looking for an Edgar allen book too?”

- “Yeah…we get to choose and author and analyze their writing style for my English 2020 class….” You say looking at the shelf.

- “Mhm…I did that last year.”

- “Can i ask what happened to you?” You say abruptly.

- “Y’know…I’d rather talk about that over some coffee.” Armin says laughing once again. “If you don’t mind?”

- This Armin was a now refined gentleman. He leads you to a small coffee shop on campus after helping you pick a book. He even holds the door open for you. From what you remember he used to spit at girls, asking them bizarre personal questions, now he’s holding open doors and pulling your chair out.

- After you two get coffee he tells you everything.

-“So after the therapy and being in a crazy house for years they finally broke me. I started talking about my feelings and whatever and how my when my parents died i lost it and my grandpa wasn’t paying attention to me and blah blah blah. And i guess it was just a phase…well not fully.”

- “How so?” You say sipping on the coffee you got.

- “Well, i may not look it, but i consider my self to be a bit…how do you say..gothic?” He smirks.

- “Yeah i never would’ve guessed. You look more dark academia like.”

- “I don’t dress in all black all the time, you know it’s more about- “

- “The music?” You interrupt.

- Armin smiles. “Yes. Exactly. How did you know? Unless…”

- You smile a bit while nodding your head. Well here’s finally someone you can be yourself around! Everyone else either thought you were weird or a poser. Most just ignored you.

- After that day you and Armin start hanging out. He shows you his room which had many gothic band posters on them like Sisters of mercy posters and Siouxsie and the banshees posters and other plain ones with just bats on them. His room was a bit dark also being mostly black and gray and brown.

- You two loves making goth like inside jokes or thrifting for new accessories or even weird things.

- Armin liked to collect really weird things like taxidermies bugs and mini skulls or halloween themed things.

- He was also a night owl but he had to be awake in the day too so he did end up having slight eyebags and a constant yawn.

- He was really serious about looking presentable though. So as a result he normally just drink a dark coffee everyday. You tried it once and immediately spit it out. “This is so BITTER!?” You say in disgust.

- “Like pure caffeine.” He says taking his cup back and smiling.

- Sometimes you’d two match outfits or at least tried to coordinate them.

- People started to think you two were dating at one point. You never thought of Armin like that but the idea didn’t hurt…

- Sometimes armin tells stories from his past. Explaining how he thought he was a “crimson king” for a while or how he’d sacrifice animals like squirrels. He seems horrified with his old self but not horrified to the point where he can’t laugh about it.

- He was your favorite gothic person now honestly🖤🖤

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Fourteen (Part 2)

When my phone buzzes in my pocket I feel a jolt of anxious nausea, but still, whip it out so quickly that it almost slips out of my gloved hand. I release my thumb to tap the screen, anticipating another message from Dean, but this time it isn’t him. 

It’s Jude. 

A weird half-laugh half-cry escapes me and my stomach flutters. The last person I ever thought would message me, as I fully expected to never have to hear from him again, but here he is, lighting up my phone on an ordinary Friday afternoon. Curiously I open the message. 

Thought you’d followed me to Berlin. 

He writes. Quickly followed by a photo of a girl standing ahead of him in a bakery. She has the same coat as I do, and the same hair cut and colour. She really does look like me. I watch the little dots bounce as he types another message.

Looks like you have a German doppelganger.

A smile quirks on my lips, I can’t help it, and then quickly I open my camera and point it up towards a corner of the Cathedral eaves where a horrible gothic gargoyle sits guard with its grotesque little mouth wide open in a silent scream. I giggle softly to myself as I zoom in on it. 

So weird. 

I type back, attaching the photo. 

Because I just saw your doppelganger too. 

I’m glad that there’s nobody around to see how self-satisfied I am, smiling at my own joke. 

Yikes, spitting image.  Still snowing, I see.

Relentlessly. 

So much for springtime. Weather in that country is so fucked. 

I frown. There he goes again with that “your country, that country” stuff. 

Wait, are you not Irish anymore? I remember you making a bit of a song and dance out of the ‘half’ part when I met you. 

Fair enough. Weather in OUR country is fucked. 

Ah yeah, that’s more of it now. Too late Jude, you’ve already disowned us. As a collective nation we’re devastated.

I smirk as I tease him, beginning to pace around, feeling charged with new energy, but then my heart leaps to my throat when my phone comes alive in my hand, buzzing with a phone call from him. I hit accept. 

“Hello?”

His voice comes down the line, deep and low in my ear. “Sorry, I just wanted to infer from your tone whether you’re annoyed or amused.”

I smirk. “Insecure, much?”

He laughs and I hear something crinkle on his end. “Well, alright, I knew you were amused, I just didn’t want to juggle eating my lunch with one hand and trying to text you with the other.”

“What did you get?”

“Hm?”

“In the bakery, like, what did you get for lunch?” 

“Oh, it’s like a multigrain bread roll thing. With cheese and salami.”

“Sounds nice.”

I hear him take a bite out of it. “Mhm. And for after I got this thing called a Puddingteilchen.”

“Sounds enticing.” I say, giggling at the goofy German accent he just put on.

“It’s essentially a vanilla pastry, they love things with gluten here, I try as many new foods as I can.”

“Mhm, how adventurous.”

“I’m in a very ‘trying-new-things’ phase at the moment. What did you have for lunch?”

“A flat white.” 

“Explains why you’re eating vicariously through me.”

I laugh. “Well if there were any food places open I might have gotten something more substantial, right now, honestly the caffeine is just making me feel jittery.”

“Oh no.” 

I walk out of the Christchurch grounds and start ambling back down Dame Street with the phone pressed to my ear. “I’m looking right now and there’s genuinely nothing to eat, I swear they’re treating this snowfall like it’s the apocalypse.”

“They always do that, don’t they?” He says, and then quickly corrects himself. “Oh, sorry, we always do that. We, the collective Irish people, a group to which I still very much belong and have not dissociated myself from now that I live abroad.” 

I roll my eyes and chuckle. “Okay, I get it. You think I’m dramatic.” 

“Never.”

“So what are you doing today? Do you have college?”

“On Fridays I only have classes in the morning, so actually, right now I’m about to go looking for a costume.”

“A costume? For what?” 

“This party I’m going to next month.” He says. “I’m looking for something from the eighties.”

“There’s an 80’s theme?”

“80’s movies, so like, specifically a character from a famous flick. I can’t just be some generic 80’s man. These people have strict rules.”

“Aha, so is this some kind of ticketed event?”

“No, it’s a house party.”

“Strict rules for a house party.”

“You have no idea.” He laughs and I hear him moving about, presumably getting up from wherever he had been sitting to begin walking around. I try to imagine where he might be, but having never been to Berlin it’s difficult to visualise the way that the streets might look. “My friends, the ones hosting the party, they do this all the time. There’s always a theme and you have to adhere to it directly otherwise you don’t get to come in.”

“Yikes.”

“I know, and really, I’m not a costume guy, at least I wasn’t. I showed up to the first party, which, by the way, was themed as ‘Wild West’, in jeans and a t-shirt. They asked me where my cowboy hat was and then closed the door in my face.” 

“Wow, that’s intense.”

“Yes, but it’s all in the name of creativity, I guess. Astrid likes going to them, actually, it’s where we met, so I try to make my best effort.”

His mention of Astrid makes me feel some kind of strange way, but I ignore my unsettlement. “So what are you thinking for this one?”

“Well, any ideas?”

“Hmmm… Marty McFly?” 

He laughs. “There will be at least three other Marty McFlys. Red puffer vest and blue jeans? Too easy.” 

“Well excuse me! You asked for a suggestion.”

“I was hoping for a good one.” 

“I forgot how sassy you are.”

“You missed that about me, I bet.”

“Did you assume I missed anything about you?” There’s a pause then, in which I instantly feel horrible, and the feeling only increases the longer he waits before saying anything. 

“Well-” He starts, but there seems to be a delay in the line as I end up cutting him off with my next panicked words. “So what idea did you have for a costume?”

He laughs in a somewhat self-conscious way, probably glad of the swerve. “Well I was thinking maybe Maverick from Top Gun.”

“Typical man choice.” I say immediately, which makes him laugh. “Sorry, is that too predictable for you?”

“I can see you doing that. Wearing your little bomber jacket and aviator shades, very hyper masculine. Men just love Tom Cruise.” 

“I am many things, but I don’t think I qualify as hyper masculine” He snorts. “Have you seen my cute little earrings?” 

“No, you’ve never once mentioned them.” 

“So I’m curious, what costume would you have picked if you were invited?” 

“Baby from Dirty Dancing.” I say immediately, because I’ve already been thinking about it for half this conversation. “I want to do that curly thing to my hair and see if it’d suit me.” I catch sight of my reflection while passing a stop window and pick out a strand of my limp, straight hair that has never seen texture beyond the loose waves that remain after I’ve taken my plaits out.

“It would. And the costume, would you go for the shirt and shorts or the pink dress from the ending?”

A smile twitches on my lips. “Sounds like you know Dirty Dancing pretty intimately.”

“A good movie is a good movie, I’m not embarrassed.” 

“I wasn’t suggesting you should be.”

“I can’t believe it, Evie.” He says with that easy laugh he always had. “You’re the very same as you used to be.” 

I baulk a little bit, because I don’t feel in any way the same as I used to back then, when every little thing I did would make me second guess myself, every word I spoke I’d agonise over, and now I don’t feel that easy as much. Now when I speak, people listen to what I say and seem to believe that I’m interesting, even if I don’t. The Evie I was back when he met me and the Evie I am now are nothing alike. “I’m not the same.”

“Well, I think that you are. You’re still so cheeky, you don’t let me get away with anything.”

“I don’t think I was like that back then.”

“What? Seriously?”

“No, I was just shy and awkward and self conscious all the time. I was a nightmare to be around.”

I hear him pause to consider this. “With all due respect, I probably wouldn’t have spent so much time with you if you were like that. You were shy, sure, but you were always funny.” 

“You thought I was funny?” 

“You don’t remember how much we used to laugh at everything?”

“Yes, but I felt like I was just laughing at the things you said because you were so funny.”

“I’m not that funny.” 

“Come on.”

“I’m not funny enough to carry an entire one of our conversations all by myself.” A pause. “You really don’t like that I’ve said that you’re the same, do you?”

“No.” I admit with some reluctance, glancing through the gates of George’s Street Arcade, all of the stalls chained and boarded up inside, seeing it so silent and empty for the first time. Eerie. 

“I’m sorry. You’re different too in loads of ways, I was just trying to say that the things I liked best about you are still intact, and I’m glad of it.”

“It’s okay, just sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. I seem to remember things wrong a lot.”

“Mm?” He says encouragingly.

“Like, I dunno, it’s as though the way that I’ve stored things in my memory bank is different from how normal people do it. I tend to twist things to fit my own narrative, does that make sense?”

“Like what narrative?” 

“Like, I don’t know… like that I was a loser, or something.” My face gets hot despite the frigid air, and I feel I’m being too frank with him. He probably doesn’t care to hear it. “It doesn’t matter, I’m not really sure what I mean.”

“You were never a loser.” 

“That’s nice of you.” 

“I mean it! I always thought you were cool.” 

What on earth? I was never cool, especially not when I was seventeen, and I can’t help but scoff. 

He sighs. “Well, I’m not here to convince you. I’m just telling you what I thought, you can choose whether or not to believe me.”

“I don’t.”

“Damn, okay, well, you got me. You were the worst, and I hated hanging out with you.” Even though he’s clearly being sarcastic his words still kind of sting, as they reflect almost exactly what Kelly had said to me on Stephen’s night. Jude might not mean them, but someone else had. He seems to sense this and quickly backtracks. “Sorry, that was a stupid joke. Like I said, I’m not that funny.” 

“You are.” I say. “Actually, your whole thing is that you’re funny, but in a slightly mean way.” 

“So I have realised. You know I used to be really mean? Like when I was about fourteen, and I’ve always worried that the vibe stuck around. Did you think I had a mean boy vibe when we used to hang out?” 

Kind of, but I didn’t hate it.” I laugh through my nose, and my breath clouds in the air. “In fact I felt bad for liking it.”

“Who was I even mean to? I don’t remember.” He pauses and then adds, “Which I suppose goes to show how often I was a dickhead – I can’t even remember my own crimes.” 

“Liam.” I say.

“Oh yeah” He says remorsefully. “He probably didn’t deserve the shit he got. We were all mean to poor Liam. ”

“Speak for yourself, I was nice.”

“Oh come on, you were meanest of  us all.”

I scoff. “In what world?”

“Please, I didn’t reject his debs invitation and leave him destitute, crying on the beach in a wetsuit.”

“You’re created an entire false narrative here, he wasn’t crying.”

“Okay, sorry now, but there’s no scenario in my head in which he wasn’t. I just can’t imagine that. He was sobbing in my version of events.”

“Trust me Jude, he was fine. He drove away from me that day without shedding a single tear. Nobody was crying over me back then.”

The line goes quiet for a moment and for some reason my skin prickles like an icy wind has licked over me despite how I’ve warmed up from all of the walking. The silence only lasts for a beat and then his voice returns, bright and easy as ever. “So tell me, who did you end up taking to your debs in the end?”

“Oh God.” I breathe. “Where do I even begin with this? How much time do you have for the highlight reel of sixth year?”

“Lay it on me, Evie.” 

He keeps me company all the way back to my house, and doesn’t even hang up when he starts going in and out of shops in search of his Top Gun costume, giving me updates on what he’s finding, open to any and all suggestions I have about how to create his own patches that match the ones Tom wears in the film. I made him promise to send me a photo of the costume before he wears it out, and when he says he will I find myself actually believing him. 

I start feeling a little sad when I turn onto my street, knowing that I’ll have to hang up soon. We’ve been having so much fun and then… 

“Oh Jesus.” I say to myself as The front of my building comes into view, and I completely cut him off in the middle of a sentence. His voice comes back at me through her receiver, alarmed. “Did something just happen?”

“No, it’s fine, just, I have to go.”

“Okay well, call me back anyt-”

I hang up the phone and stuff it into my pocket as I march up the front steps to the apartment, feeling anger rising inside me.

“Dean!” I cry. He’s standing by the door, shoulder resting against the wall as though he’s been waiting there for a while, and he doesn’t look surprised to see me, fuming, charging up the steps towards him. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

Prev // Next

[proshippers-against-censorship]

I hate the assumption that being into "problematic" content inherently involves something about children/minors in at least some kind of way. Basically all I see is arguments how proshipping is bad because of pedophilia and incest.

Ok, but, like, no? Actually ever since joining an 18+ shipping server, I've noticed how much of the content, especially in separately dedicated dark content channels, icks me and I cannot continue reading the conversation. But I still don't harass anyone about it. No, not even when I click on a fic out of curiosity and it ends up making me want to take my eyes out.

I don't want anything about kids or family members in my smut. I only really care for non-con/dub-con, violence and abusive/power imbalanced or yandere relationships (with adults). I'm not interested in experiencing anything like that irl, from neither side, I only like it because it's fiction. The characters I have in mind right now in this particular ship are also both serial killers, btw. Somehow that doesn't seem to be a problem for the majority of people though, because we all know all that "video games cause violence" is nothing but bs.

Or someone could genuinely only read fics about the most wholesome, non-toxic characters in fluffy relationships where they genuinely love each other, and they could still be a proshipper. Because being proship has nothing to do with your own personal preferences, it's a moral stance, not a short way of saying you have socially unacceptable kinks

Yeah. I have it written in SO MANY PLACES on my account that I do not consume incest content (though some of these antis have me tempted to spite ship), and that I don't consume any content with explicitly underage characters...though I do like stuff with babyface femmes because it gives me a bit more body confidence. Its just not my vibe. So its really weird to be accused of being a pedo when I don't want anything to do with kids, whether real or fictional.

But yeah, no, the only servers I've seen, including nsfw and 18+ servers, have been fully separated out. Because part of being respectful is understanding that not everyone wants to see your dick when they open up the channel to talk about hot pockets. And you'd think the folks who don't want to see those things would...just mute/block/ignore those channels instead of commenting like, 'put your tits away' on the nudes channel and shit like that. Those are incredibly light examples, but yeah...if it isn't your favor just walk away? Don't know why that's that hard?

"Ohohhohoho but this dark porn is going to make them want to SA some gal on the streets" You play CoD. Do you want to headshot your neighbor?

You're 100% right, anon. Sorry it took me a long ramble to get to this point, I'm a rambly and kinda nonsensical person, yikes. But yeah, proship is 100% a moral stance. What you personally consume and write doesn't matter. What makes you proship is minding your own business and curating your own online experience instead of expecting the world to cater to you.

[butwhatifidothis]

I’m gonna put on my nerd glasses for a second to talk about something I find weird with a particular user making the rounds. A while ago, I answered an ask proposing the possibility that Edelgard wasn’t meant to be a villain in 3H by pointing to the myriad of ways the story both directly and indirectly tells the player that she is, even with all of the uwu waifu bait moments dragging down her overall quality of character. The user in question, which I’ll be calling Dolphin, responds with this:

Even setting aside the brazen ableism of “this mentally ill person would totally murder their loved ones because they’re crazy” - even though, um, fucking yikes - it’s just so... completely irrelevant to anything that I said or was brought up. I point out things that objectively did happen in 3H - Dolphin responds by bringing up what they think an unrelated character would do in a hypothetical that never even appears in the game. We as the player are not privy to ever actually seeing any character, let alone Dimitri specifically, directly interact with a spouse of any kind on-screen - the most we are given are the end cards that are essentially our last look into the character in question’s life (and, well, look at that Dimitri does not, in fact, do what Dolphin think he’d do - shocking, I know).

But Dolphin is using this nonexistent hypothetical as part of their grounds for their actual argumentation. They think that Dimitri would do this thing in this setting that never happens in the game, therefore that adds onto the (implicit) idea that he is in fact the bad guy. And not only that, it adds onto the idea that describing Edelgard as a villain over Dimitri is wrong, because Dolphin thinks Dimitri would hypothetically beat his wife in a fit of rage or delusion should the opportunity to do so ever come up.

I could have just as easily said “I could see Edelgard as the kind of woman who would throw slurs at POC who slightly annoy her.” Or I could have said “You know, I think Raphael and his family are secretly Nabateans and he uses the front of a simple young man to hide safely amongst humans - he’s not dumb at all, he invented color contacts to hide his green eyes!” Or I could have slammed my feet against my keyboard and posted whatever garbled mess comes as a result. All of these responses would have been as related to the topic as Dolphin throwing their extremely subjective headcanon into the discussion at hand.

So arguing with this sort of person and getting anything of actual note out of the discussion is just not feasibly possible, because at any moment they will pull out their subjective opinion during a talk about the objective events of the game. And not to make a point about why they, personally, do or don’t like a particular aspect of the game, but to prop it as part of their objective assessment (the front liner of their assessment, no less). Even, again, setting aside the ableism, as well as the general hyper-focus on sexuality seemingly being a determinant factor in a character’s status as villain or Not Villain - there is no point in arguing with this person. They do not care to actually talk about the game, its characters, its themes, its writing, or anything like that; being a bit mean here, it seems like they just want to say words into the air hoping to find a Polo to their Marco.

Sorry, Dolphin, that I can’t bring myself to really care about what you’re saying

[deadlysoupy]

Hiiiii Soupster, saw the silly character thing : )

Bumblebee - 3, 12

Starscream - 2, 25

& 20 for both hehe xoxo

HIII YIPPEE THANK YOU!!!!! (double thank yous bc i get to obnoxiously destroy this post with so many words)

Bumblebee

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

oooh some people may not like this answer because yikes but i straight-up hate how muteness becomes his character trait. Prime is the most guilty of this, the Bumblebee movie takes second place. in Prime, he can still talk and most bots and even humans can understand him - so what's the point?? if you only have this as a clutch for a character and personality, then i'm sorry, but it comes off as shallow. he's supposed to look like a child soldier burdened by war, but it's not a personality: beyond that, he's sometimes a kid, sometimes arrogant, and sometimes badass. add "being mute" and "disabled", and it becomes really weird. why can't he use other methods of communicating? i don't know and it actually makes me frustrated

same thing with the Bumblebee movie. he doesn't have any personality except "cute", "childish" and "mute". it is a bit better because he expresses himself through his actions and body language rather than a language everyone knows, but at the end of the day his traits are very shallow. and i am very sad and bitter about this

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

hehe too many 🥰🥰 no not actually too many i'm rather bad at headcanons, so mostly for TFE

he's a "medic" to the Terrans, has first-aid training and helps them if they get hurt, but anything serious he's unable to treat

body dysmorphia, because look at him in ep 12 and tell me he doesn't have any opinion on JB's comment, i dare you

he wasn't sparked (forged??) during the war and he had some time to live on a normal Cybertron before it all went caput

and there aren't any particular ages in cybertronian biology to track of, so i can very hardly ever call him a child soldier, but he does fit the boxes so... shrugs (there's an overdue post from me which analyses the times he did show he was a "child" during war, but i ditched it in early stages because i would grasp at straws a lot and there isn't enough evidence. still a fun thought)

Starscream

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I LOVE THAT HE'S A SCIENTIST i can't help it. i always believe that every character has to have a hobby (i guess relatively racing counts for Bee since he does enjoy it), and in other continuities i don't see Starscream having anything to do other than to scheme and backstab, so i absolutely adore whenever in G1 (which is only two times i believe BUT STILL) he does science. it would make sense! he's smart! he has to do SOMETHING before the war starts. absolute chad

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

OH MY GOD LMAO i didn't think of him much when i first watched Animated in, like, 2022, but then, when i came back into tf-watching, after TFE i went for a hunt on other tf-related media. Starscream didn't entice my interest much except in Prime and Animated, but then, silly me, i learned of the comics, specifically RID and TAAO. there was no coming back from that one LMAO i really liked him in the comics and for a long time i had felt like it was one of the only truest characterisations of him

besides the meta stuff, i used to think he was just evil and selfish and i didn't care much for him, but i've grown since then lmao and i have an eye out for anti-heroes and villains now (i did used to think it was black and white, tf changes people istg). now he's a blorbo i constantly pick at but surprisingly have never written a centered piece yet. i should. he's fun. i think i just don't like writing characters with depression (sorry)

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I MEAN. STARBEE RIGHT. YEAH? okay. (they're two halves of the same coin and Bumblebee always tries to peel back Starscream's layers while he's afraid of letting others know the real him and in turn Starscream lets Bumblebee be angry and snarky when he wasn't allowed to in the past DO YOU UNDERSTAND-)

but also i think Bumblebee's friendship with Hot Rod/Rodimus from any universe is really nice, i feel like they have this cute bond of being young and reckless sometimes. i wish idw didn't do them so dirty with their competitiveness or whatever thing they had. they really seemed to get along in Cyberverse. ALSO of COURSE his friendship/brotherhood with Breakdown in TFE, because they're so touchy and affectionate with each other it makes me wonder a lot about their past together and what exactly tore them apart considering they were so close. ghaaa the horrors of war!!!! its the oldest trick in the book and it gets me every time

for Starscream - absolutely Skyfire/Jetfire (i like the Skyfire name more and i don't know why). G1 is so big-brained with how they treated these two. if they are a couple - i absolutely adore it and i don't usually mind when they're paired together instead of starbee, because i can see it too. they have great chemistry (lmao that's a science joke) and i'd love to see more of them in other media. just get him away from Megatron plz

[mcflymemes]

CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS (2009) PROMPTS

i’ve got my eye on you!

i wanted to run away that day.

come on! we’ve got a diem to carpe!

can you keep a secret?

i don’t understand fishing metaphors!

do you like jello?

can i count on your help?

i’m finally contributing to society!

this... probably won’t explode.

have you ever felt like you were a little bit different?

we need a doctor! is anyone here a doctor?

i might have said that to get you to like me.

i shouldn’t be running with these!

the minute he steps out of that car, i’m gonna slap him in the face!

i’ve never actually been in a snowball fight.

why do you always do that?

were you going to kiss me back?

why don’t you find out?

just kiss me!

my chest hairs are tingling. something’s wrong.

hey, i had a weird dream like this once!

yikes, what is that?

what do you guys want for breakfast?

that’s not a very good plan.

look, i like you, okay?

it’s okay, it’s just pain.

you hit me with a rocket!

you kicked me in the face!

i said i was sorry!

this tastes significantly better than sardines.

yeah! i’m a chicken!

can you look me in the eye and tell me you’ve got this under control and it’s not gonna end up in a distaster?

oh, for crying out loud.

holy crap balls.

this was not well thought out.

i’m the best person in the whole town!

[aevyk-ing]

Rambling about the Ghibli movies I’ve seen Part 2

Read part 1 here.

11. Tales of Earthsea

This one was... weird? Just boring? I really liked the designs for the mosaics and the city, but the rest needed a lot of work. I was intrigued about the main character and found myself thinking how the books are probably better. I had some problems with the character designs and the story was all over the place. 

12. Only Yesterday

A little too long, dragging in the middle, but really cute. I loved the way it depicted the country life, the softness of the scenes in the past and the fantasy bits. I also have the feeling I should live somewhere else since I was little (I love nature and forests) and I’ve been remembering a lot of stuff (well, that’s a side effect of going to therapy, I guess). Anyway, I enjoyed the little story and the way some moments were animated and I wasn’t expecting to hear castanets in a Ghibli movie. 

13. Porco Rosso

Em... this one was pretty, but the story was weird. The scenery, music and flight scenes are really good. I was interested in the transformation part, but then it started saying things like: “Sorry only women are going to build the plane.” and then making a 17 years-old fell in love with a 36 years-old. Yikes. Just yikes. Then the ending is rushed. Started out good, ended up... meh.

14. When Marnie Was There

I really liked this one. The story got me hooked, I related a lot to the main character and everything was so beautiful (just look at that house!). It can be a little confusing sometimes, especially during the middle part, but once it starts explaining things... oh, boy. My only complain is that I only knew it was the story about two girls and, once Anna started blushing I started shipping them... SPOILER it didn’t end up well. 

15. The Wind Rises

So beautiful... and also sad. Miyazaki sure loves aeroplanes and that sort of stuff, huh? But I can’t complain: his flying sequences are always amazing. I also really liked the cinematography in this one, there’s a lot of interesting angles and uses of animation. It can also be funny sometimes (I still think that German guy ate a decorative plant) and I’m glad it didn’t dwell too much in the sad parts, even though I would have liked to see a little more after Nahoko leaves and before the dream sequence. Talking about dream sequences, that’s yet another thing Miyazaki excels at. BTW, I was ready for the sad ending, but still got me. 

16. The Cat Returns

Utterly bizarre at the beginning, took an interesting turn midway where it reminded me of morning cartoons. It’s a cute story, although I’d have preferred something a little deeper or more nuanced. But it’s nice. Not the best one but fine enough for spending some free time. And yes, I’m well aware this one was made for small kids (maybe it’s the only one so far). Also, didn’t like how they teased out that Haru and the Baron are in a relationship. I still ship him with the other cat statue from A Whisper of the Heart, thank you.

17. Grave of the Fireflies

There are some movies you can just watch once... but even though, you’re glad you watched them. This movie was a ride and I was getting ready mentally to watch it, thinking that I could never find the perfect moment. However, something happened that hurt my soul so I was at the right place. It was painful, with exquisite music, but it hurt a lot. Just like Life is Beautiful... I won’t be rewatching soon... but I’ll thank it for what it is.

18. The Boy and the Heron

Proof that we still need fairytales! Have to say it was strange to go from the last movie to the beginning of this one because SPOILERS, I immediately knew what was going on. I loved the take on trauma and mixing past and present in a fantasy world that also looked an awful lot like a limbo (thanks, Over the Garden Wall). Overall, while it reminded me of other stories, it had enough heart and stuff going on to keep you hooked. You can tell it’s the result of a lifetime telling stories and my only complain is the creepiness. It was the least thing I liked from Chihiro and while I get why it has to be done, it doesn’t make it less disturbing. 

19. Tale of Princess Kaguya

(disgruntled noises) I loved the first part. Cute animation, interesting style and adorable characters. I was having such a great time. Cut to the palace bit and the escape after the party and the story starts dragging on and totally changes genres. It went from fluffy and uplifting to depressing and sad. Why? Just why? If I had seen this movie when I was a kid, I would have never wanted to watch it again. Sigh. 

[ninalanfer]

Let's talk wood, people. No, not the kind you have in your pants, you filthy mind you 😉. The stuff that grows in nature and can be formed into endless shapes and forms.

I have such a love hate relationship with wood. I love how it looks and how it feels, how it catches the light. The different shades and textures it grows before we take it. I love carving into it, the way the knife feels in my hand, the way the blade feels cutting into it. All wood is good wood. It all has a purpose and place.

What I hate is the way it struggles against me when I try to work it into some... Shapes. Like a door. What was it someone said the other day, about creating anything? That the art of creation is "You push on the thing, and the thing pushes back at you." Friction of creation.

Today has been particularly full of friction. Wood have been struggling against me today. Yikes. Today was supposed to be simple. I had already fit the screen door in its place, it fit, it worked. It just needed glue and some screws. Attach the hinges and hang it up there.

...

Don't you think it scewed over night? It definitely did. I went to try it this morning and nope. Not even fucking close to fitting in its hole. I was once again reminded that wood has a life of its own. It breathes and thinks and lives, even after it's been shaped into boards.

So today wasn't simple. It was endless trials. Testing the fit, nope, taking it back down and outside to (I'm googling the word for "hyvel" in english and all I find is "plane". Wtf? You seriously can't have four different things that are called a plane. That's stupid! The machine that flies, the place where you play football (no sorry, "soccer"), the thing that will turn flat by you shaping it with what is apparently also called a plane!? HOW do english wood workers communicate with each other about their craft?!) (I went onto a long rant about this and I'm so sorry for my partner who had to end up in the crossfire)...

Anyway! I had to "plane" the frame so it fit in the door opening. Little by little. Testing, trimming, testing, looking for where it wouldn't fit. Trimming, testing. Ad nauseum. I started with a rasp, going over to an electrical sander, then a saw for a little bit. But in the end I brought out my trusty knife.

In the end, victory was mine! The screen frame now fits. It's wonky and weird, and the surface is bubbly in places (knots are my bane, guuuh). But in turn, our house is an old scewed wood building with literally no even planes in sight, so no one's going to see it (except my dad. He'll look at me and shake his head. 😂 Cuz he is a wood worker by trade and heart. It's one of my life's small pleasures to make scewed shit and see the look on his face.) Sometimes I think the only reason I get through life at all os because I'm so damn stubborn. Today's win is solely, simply, due to me being more stubborn than the wood.

Now we just wait until the humidity turns and we'll cross all our fingers and toes that the screen door still fits...

[myloveforhergoeson]

Yeah, uh, sorry not sorry for that comment I just left on your AO3...

hii omg sorry this took me so long to respond to i had like the most shit day at work yesterday but seeing your comment made my day so much better 😭 had to take a moments rest before i responded lol but here i go!!!!!!!!

" I love how Roxy was able to translate Logan's love science into something the rest of the group would understand. And Roxy's reaction to James dressed as a robber was great."

love science my beloved. literally my fav running gag on the show + im not bringing it up in my fic enough i think... and yeahh! it's also love science: elevated heartrate --> experiencing a high stress situation w someone --> you love them is basically what it boils down to LMAO though it's much more scientific i swear. i had a social psychology professor in college who brought this concept up like once a week (he talked about his ex literally every class period if he could) and how he took his ex extreme mountain biking on their first date to use this concept or smth. dan if you're reading this this chapter is dedicated to you <3

"Yikes. Still trying to deal with the James/Camille saga, eh?"

she said she's over it!!! but is she ever really over it!!! roxy...

"Oh my God. I can tell that the typical teenage communication problems are going to happen again. Although, I understand Roxy's hesitation about dating in the limelight. Who wants to live in a fishbowl?"

ah... not me giving them communication problems again... whoopsies.... 💀 looks like they were able to avoid media attention tonight tho - it's a problem for another day now! now that it's on her mind she'll be able to process her feelings a bit more thoroughly!

"Gotta admit. Katie played the right ploy to get Roxy alone for advice."

if anyone told me shit was scratching in my walls i would also have a similar reaction lmao. thank god the palm woods isn't rat infested!

"(Seriously. I sometimes find it amusing he acts more like a big brother to Katie than Kendall does.)"

i also think this was a bit of a strange move by the writers honestly, but i have no idea what it's like to have brothers? so maybe kendall is just oblivious (likely) or he doesn't care at all because he knows katie can take care of herself (less likely) or he's hoping his mom will just take all of that on from her daughter (most likely)

"Oh my God! Roxy really does know her boyfriend well, doesn't he? Suppose that's one way to get an overprotective big brother off Katie's back, even if it's only temporary. And the way you described James being so tender and mindful of her comfort even in their more heated make-out sessions just... oof. I'm a puddle, mate. I'm a puddle."

i like it when oc x canon kiss :) and james needs to be good to her or i'll literally kill him off in the story idc

"Oh Roxy, Roxy, Roxy. You had to know trying to intervene with an overprotective James wasn't going to end well. (Scratch that. She'd never seen him like this, so...) But seriously. Lord help any future daughter(s) James has."

maam said 'i can fix him' and proceeded to fuel the fire lit under him WHOOPS. she's so funny sometimes like 'omg no this is why i like him he cares about his friends so much... i should be supportive, but in my own way...' girl katie needs your help!!!! and very true, she's never seen him like this and she knows how much he commits to his plans! it was certainly a strange night for them

"Flexing jawline? Hello! (Seriously. There are some moments in the show where James has no right to look so good.) And poor Roxy constantly having her food taken away because James was so freaked out over Katie and Kyle. Let the girl have her burger, damn it. (Seriously, though. James better make up for it.)"

BWAHAHA i saw this tiktok the other day about how guys pose for pictures by kissing their partners on the cheek just so they can show off their jawline so that subconsciously made it's way into the story. i supposeeee james can get weird about Katie and kyle as long as roxy has something nice to look at... poor roxy and her burger 😭 she's hungry james!

"I feel like James trying to be all blase about Keaton being scared off by her dad is to cover the fact that he was momentarily scared of her dad."

he is so scared of declan <3

"Okay. With that cliffhanger at the end, I could hear the 'Oh oh oh-oh oh...' playing in my head. Because you know it would be playing if this happened in the actual episode. (Wait. How did Brand New Day manage to schedule Big Time Rush?) Are we going to get a protective Big Time Rush next chapter because of Roxy's history with those douchebags?"

IM SO SORRY ABOUT THE CLIFFHANGER i always feel so bad ending on one 😭 but next chapter will be worth it i promise! next time i'll have the radio switch on and play the theme song or something lmaooooo. sidenote: do you think they wrote big time rush and it already had the oh oh oh-oh oh in it and they were like 'oh wow this is PERFECT for the show lets use it all the time' or they wrote the oh oh oh-oh oh in specifically to be used in the show? idk

THANK YOU SO MUCH AS ALWAYS MY FRIEND you are my #1 rames rant enabler and i appreciate it so so so much. i totally forgot to leave comments on your stories from this week im SORRY they'll be flying into your inbox asap <3

[larsisfrommars]

Wild Wild Reviews

The Night The Wizard Shook The Earth

Overall Score:

Story: 3.5/5

Dame: 2/5

Villain: 6/5

Gadgets: 5/5

Disguises: 1/5

Bonus Points: Gay Subtext: 3/5

The Yikes Dated Factor: 0/-5

Score: 20.5/25

Tier: A (82%)

Previous Episode Review

FULL REVIEW UNDER THE CUT

The Story

I wanted to rate the story on this episode higher, I really did but the first half is SO slow and I’m sorry but John Kneubuhl writes his female characters SO poorly that an otherwise fun and intriguing story suffers immensely for it. Which is such a shame because this is the episode where the BEST Wild Wild West villain was born! Every second Dunn/Loveless is on screen is absolutely fantastic and incredibly memorable. The doomsday device on which the episode revolves is compelling. Yet every moment where Jim interacts with Greta is an absolute slog of ham-fisted flirting and mid 20th century chauvinism. It’s like they had half a perfect episode but didn’t know what to do to fill in the rest of the story aside from the villain and the McGuffin. It also feels out of whack due to the lack of Artemus after the first 15 minutes and it’s very nearly lacking one of the delightful key features of the franchise, fun disguises. It’s absolutely better than TNOT Inferno, but I can’t honestly say it’s better than TNOT Deadly Bed, so right down the middle between them it goes.

The Dame

Our woman of the week is Leslie Parish! I know her as Carolyn from the TOS episode “Who Mourns for Adonais”.

*Sigh* Thus begins a parade of woefully underwritten female protagonists on The Wild Wild West. If I had a dollar for every time a female character on this show had potentially intriguing motivations only to be sidelined in order for Jim West to woo and fulfill the “kiss the girl” goal on each episode’s checklist I would be a rich man. She’s not getting a one but I was thinking about it. Mostly because of that TRULY weird scene where West can’t move and she’s feeding him by hand (Who let their fetish interfere with the quality of this show? Hope it doesn’t happen again! Except that it absolutely will happen… a lot). I decided against it however because she does show a modicum of agency in the first half of the story before it’s undercut by Jim playing weird mind games with her right after the odd fetish scene. I also think she gets overshadowed by Antoinette and Ms. Piecemeal, she just got lost in the shuffle. Ugh.

The Villain

Our villain of the “week” is Michael Dunn! Most iconically known for Wild Wild West but us Trekkies also know him as Alexander from the Star Trek TOS episode “Plato’s Stepchildren”. Continuing our Ancient Greece themed Star Trek cameos I suppose.

Ugh where do I even begin with Michael Dunn’s performance as Doctor Miguelito Loveless? It’s the birth of a legend, a landmark role for actors with dwarfism, an iconic antagonist for an iconic show. He’s a guaranteed smash hit every time he’s in an episode! He’s eccentric, insane, and dynamic, he’s equal parts humanitarian gentleman and genocidal maniac. His motivations toe the line of being reasonable for his background (bitter ex-aristocracy) and unhinged (what he’s willing to do to reach his goal). Heck, I know that the songs they decided to plop into his episodes almost felt like padding for time but he’s just so off-the-wall that I consider it part of Loveless’s charm. Maybe someday I’ll be able to fully articulate why this character is so beloved but that may need to be a post of it’s own (and I’m sure others have already beaten me to it). What can I say but six out of five?

The Gadgets

If I seem a bit biased about the gadgets it’s only because we haven’t gotten to any of the weirder/unlikely/unhelpful one. The carriage is so cool and it makes me absolutely insane that they never end up using a carriage with built-in defenses ever again. The only reason it wasn’t more effective is that Jim was outnumbered on enemy turf. Then of course there’s that clutch little pen that breaks him out of the cage Loveless puts Jim in.

The Disguises

The only disguise we get this week is a terrible attempt at posing as the man Jim failed to prevent being assassinated. I think you ought to leave the disguises to Artemus there Jimbo.

The Gay Subtext

(Don’t ship it? Skip it!)

Say hello to a beloved trope of this ship, and that is Artemus fretting over Jim putting himself in unnecessary danger (and occasionally vice versa)! Seconded only by Artemus complaining about rescuing him or having thought he was dead. Artemus still insists on discreetly keeping an eye on Jim after the professor gets assassinated. Not to mention the custom carriage he designed with Jim specifically in mind. Very normal of you Artemus good job my man, ilysm.

The Yikes Dated Factor

(See elaboration for 0 on this factor from previous episode)

[youremyheaven]

I agree, and yes both of my parents are hoarders lol and that was a bit of a nightmare since we already had a teeny tiny house, I shared a room with both of my sisters and we had no room to even walk on the floor lmaoo, but hey I like that we were close. Whenever I feel bad I always remember that in a tribal setting we would've been doing golden lol- close knit, very safe since if something happened to any of us we're literally right next to each other.

I'll say my Naks but it might expose me lmao because I talk about stuff on here too, but that's okay. I'm not trying to be too secretive. I'm Jyeshta Sun, Rohini Moon. I do have Mars in Uttarabhadrapada which is interesting.

My upbringing was kinda weird, kinda beautiful in some ways but by modern standards it was rough- I have a hard time saying it was bad because I know I was loved in a lot of ways too and that's more than some people can ask for. Just abusive shenanigans, but abuse can be weird because abuse isn't always as simple as someone just being terrible- like it's never okay but I mean, the same person who abuses you can also be the person who throws you birthday parties and makes them super magical and genuinely loves you. My mum in particular had a rough life herself, at 6 years old she immigrated to Australia and not long after was put into a children's home run by nuns because her mum was deemed unfit or something. She's Bharani Moon of course.

I went a bit wild when I was around 14 because I wanted to do anything I could to escape from home, so I would hang around a lot of strange men and drug people since they're aaalways out- after school, 2am, 12pm; there's always a group of a few of them around the area just messing around. So I could simply sneak out and go hang out with them lol. I guess I craved the adventure too, but most of all I just didn't want to go home. Even though we were not well off, we lived in a very wealthy area so I didn't relate to most of the kids around, I think that's part of why I gravitated towards the 'junkies'. They understood rougher conditions a bit better.

I ended up getting taken advantage of a few times which made me veer away from that scene for good, stop smoking weed, etc. but I was still looking for some way to get away from home.

I ended up in a relationship with a 30 year old man when I was 15, I stopped going to school much and started living with him. It was ghetto lol...

My mum passed away, so my sisters and I had to move states to be taken in by a relative. I was about to be 18 by that point so I had a choice on whether or not to come, but I was like bruh I'm not having my little sisters in a different state to me, that's madness- so I came along. Our relative was really strict and religious. She's lowkey rich but not the kindest person. She told me that I had to either get a job or study, or I'm not allowed to live there. I tried working and stuff but everything was just too fresh, I couldn't do much without crying :') so I was a dumb dumb and I decided maybe if I became a *dancer*, I could make money fast so that I could move out. I didn't end up doing it, I realised I'm too shy and sensitive for that kinda thing- I got on the stage for like a minute and had to get off because it was so spooky. The eyes of all the men, yikes.

Anyway, I got kicked out for the dancing thing and just in general being scandalous (by a religious rich lady's standards lol- bless her), and that's how I became homeless since I was in a new state and had nowhere to go that I knew- but it was for the best!!! I got taken in by a refuge, and they were so kind to me. I got so attached to the workers, they cared for us and treated us with such kindness.

Eventually I got a place on my own within the system. Then I met my partner & moved in with him to be freed from my ghetto life (jk I kinda love my life).

Sorry if this is very erratic, I'm never sure how to tell the story in a clear cut concise manner. I feel like it's going to take me a lifetime to sort out how I feel about a lot of things, but at the end of the day I'm not sure it even matters.

Just gotta keep making art, keep learning and loving, life is good- and people are strange, lol 💓💓

sorry for the delayyyyyed response but thank you so much for taking the time to tell me about your life's journey 🥺💛 you've lived a very tumultuous life and I'm glad you're in a more stable place now, it makes me hopeful about my own journey<3, so tysm <3

May your mom's soul rest in eternal peace 💛

"Just abusive shenanigans, but abuse can be weird because abuse isn't always as simple as someone just being terrible- like it's never okay but I mean, the same person who abuses you can also be the person who throws you birthday parties and makes them super magical and genuinely loves you."

this is the most Lunar thing ever

but also I will say as someone who has been in multiple abusive situations with very "loving" people, it can be very confusing to wrap your head around why someone can be so sweet, loving and kind one minute and tear you apart over nothing and yk...be aBusiVe the next minute. the truth is nobody irl acts like a textbook villain, the people who are capable of immense cruelty are the regular seeming people all around us. it took me so long to cut off toxic people because i always tried to justify it with "oh but they're also sooo kind and generous...." yada yada yada but its unhealthy to be around someone who is unpredictable.

My toxic ex bestie would imply I'm a whore today and then bring me muffins she baked at home tomorrow, if someone praised me in front of her, she'd stop talking to me for the rest of the day, sometimes she'd skip classes the next day and switch off her phone and i'd feel sick to my stomach with anxiety over her unpredictable behaviour and then she'd bring me earrings she bought for me??? and take me out to lunch?? crazy times but i think a lot of abusive people kind of overcompensate for their meanness with loving actions. they feel guilty so they overdo it and then the cycle continues. i've always felt bad about labelling certain experiences as "toxic" bc like you said i feel like it could be worse or that it wasn't so bad but at the end of the day "loving abuse" is still abuse.

[fireemblems24]

Golden Wildfire Ch 8

Spoilers for GW up to Ch 8 below.

STORY

Shahid may as well have been called "plot tool" lol.

Are Claude and Edelgard going to make some kind of Alliance now? I hope he's not stupid about it.

Claude's like maybe attacking the larger, richer country with more soldiers and resources wasn't a good idea, lamo. As much as I loved punching the Empire for once rather than just always fighting defensively, Claude really picked up the stupid stick.

It hurts every time I see Judith.

Man, I don't like how they retconned Gloucester. He's getting treated like a saint now. It's so weird. I feel like they softened up a lot of people, and I'm not sure i like it.

Haha, at least he called the Empire foolish for starting a two-front war.

CAMP

Oh, wow, no side missions. I have two paralogues unlocked though, so I'll probably do those.

Honestly, I'm a bit relieved. These levels take forever and I'm not even putting time into plotting builds or anything. I def want to replay AG one day where I put more time into just building out all my favs.

Honestly, part of me is tempted to drop AG and speed run SB and GW (which are both really boring so far, sorry) so that way I can just blow through them and take my time with AG, but I can't imagine not going back to AG to keep me going lol.

I'll just do an indulgent, S-Rank everything, unlock all the everything AG type run later.

MARIANNE & BERNADETTA B SUPPORT

Not who I would've picked to support Marianne, but I can see it.

Yep, this is as awkward as you would've guessed with neither sure what to say and lots of just "..." and "ums."

Bernie finally breaks the silence talking about pretty bugs. Marianne is into the conversation since she's a Disney princess animal lover. And Bernie just like creepy things.

Then it dies. And Marianne struggles to find another topic and talks about the sunrise.

In the end they had a successful conversation. Since I support Marianne having friends, I support this.

LORENZ & BALTHUS C SUPPORT

So why does Balthus get a support with Lorenz, but not Hilda?

Balthus asked Lorenz about a Claude investigation, but Lorenz doesn't know much about it.

Lorenz thinks Balthus' father is behind the questions. Balthus is doing it for money, unsurprisingly.

Lorenz puts down Balthus as a corrupt commoner, but Balthus is secretly a commoner, which doesn't surprise me since Hilda and Holst are his buddies.

Lamo, Balthus said Lorenz says whatever just pops into his head. Doesn't sound like a compliment.

BALTHUS, HOLST, & HILDA PARALOGUE

I'm using two of the three, so this shouldn't be too bad. I can make Balthus an adjunct.

Balthus is hiding from someone, then turns around and asks Hilda and Shez for money. Hilda encourages him to pay them back. Then Balthus leaves.

Holst arrives and bothers Shez about bothering Hilda. Then they catch him up about Balthus.

Balthus sounds like an absolute nightmare and asshole of a person, ngl. He steals from people, fights, and drinks. Hilda and Holst can do better.

Oh, shit. The goal is to rescue Balthus, so I can't just rescue him? But the Golden Deer are basically broke, so IDK if I can level him up enough to survive.

So his stepmother sent assassins after him because she wants her younger son to lead instead. Honestly, don't blame her for that last half, but big yikes.

Ok, that wasn't too bad since I got to control Balthus pretty quickly.

Balthus seem wholly unbothered by his step-mother trying to kill him. He talks about it like she's throwing a tantrum, lol.

Did Balthus' real mom raise Shez?

LEONIE & SHAMIR PARALOGUE

Welp, they didn't get a support this time, but they got this at least. Feels bad Shamir didn't get one with Cyril, but I don't think the poor dude is even playable this time around.

Shamir is trying to pull a mysterious vanishing act and Shez can guess what she's up too including romantic rendezvous, fighting, or drinking. See, this is why Catherine and Shamir are meant for each other.

Ohhh, Shamir is breaking up with someone.

Not a former lover, though. A noble who has an infatuation with her and is threatening her if she doesn't come back. Shamir plans on just dealing with it herself.

Lamo, Shamir doesn't mind killing them.

Leonie is leveled up, but not Shamir, so Leonie will just tout her around.

Shamir burned the captain bad - "You're still alive. I guess it's true only the good die young." Like, damn, woman.

They sent a whole army against Shamir lol.

Cool to see three mercenary women all talking mercenary stuff.

Wait, WHAT? A WOMAN is the one after Shamir. Go off, Fire Emblem.

Leonie, my sweet summer child, has no idea what Shamir was alluding to. That's Caspar/Hilda support levels of naive, except Leonie's older lamo.

MAIN BATTLE/STORY

Short chapter this time around, which is nice. I saw it's the same for Scarlet Blaze in chapter 9. I'm assuming Azure Gleam will get a chapter like this too, except that time I'll be bummed.

Shahid has no personality outside of bloodthirsty idiot.

So Shahid has no clue that Claude is in the army he's attacking. So Edelgard is the only one the writers don't make kill their own family. Claude and Dimitri are just built for angst.

Yep, here's a cut scene where poor Claude gets to kill family now. He should've just let Shez do it. Cool cut scene though.

Claude thought he wouldn't feel bad about it, but he does. That's just being human, Claude.

Lorenz is like a whole ass 10 levels ahead of everyone else. Dude is a monster in this game.

Will the Golden Deer actually learn Claude is from Almyra this time? Claude lied again, saying he just went there for political stuff and that's why he meant Nader. Ah, well, maybe later on.

Shahid really was just a plot tool in the end. He had no personality and was just the evil prince from Almyra that makes it easy to wrap that up with a nice bow.

Lamo, Raphael gets closer to figuring it out about Claude than anyone else. Perfect.

Arval is like ugh, why are they celebrating? There's still a war going on. Arval is a party pooper, confirmed.

Claude feeling bad because he killed Shahid, which would have more weight if Shahid was an actual character.

Arval doesn't trust Claude, but I swear if I hear the word "scheme" in a Claude route one more time, I'm going to scream.

xxx

[gingersnapwolves]

Kouri watches Shadow and Bone 2.08

KAZ GIVING NIKOLAI HIS CANE

“Well, this all looks terrible”

MY MAN! HE DID THAT!

Inej just slicing and dicing those shadow monsters like hell fucking yes

Oh shut the fuck up Kirigan

If I had a nickel every time Alina stabbed Kirigan with a blade she had because Inej had previously thrown it, I’d have two nickels. It’s not much, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

What’s a little light necromancy between friends

KAZ READS POETRY

Ugh Kaz wanted to hug her so bad

(Jesper and Inej are so cute though)

FIVE OF CR - *CAWING SOUND*

I just about fucking died

Kaz and Nina bonding!

Kaz offering to help her!

I still don’t even know what happened to David. Like, the shadow monsters didn’t completely swallow anyone else. There’s this lingering shot on the dumbwaiter door like I’m supposed to see something there which will tell me what happened but I don’t??? Where is David????? They all assume he’s dead, but why? She can’t hear his heartbeat but maybe he went somewhere else??? 

My wife turned to me and said, “Did Jet just die?” and I cracked up

Really looked like Alina was gonna plunk that torch down right on Darkling’s crotch

I’m sorry but Darkling’s funeral scene is so funny to me because why are the crows even there lmao. They’re just awkwardly hanging out in the background and sort of wander off at the end? I’m crying

Kanej hurts so goooooooooooood

I don’t hate the way Tolya looks at Inej here. But I can’t wait for him to ask what’s up between her and Kaz and give them the same treatment he gave Wesper.

“Tolya, how’s it looking?” “Sexy, but not like we’re trying to, like, we’re trying, but it’s almost effortless”

The best book-to-show change is this bit with Matthias and the wolves

I think Nina should get to murder Pekka Rollins. As a treat.

Kaz’s cane upgrade!!!!!

Oh my God I actually forgot this dime-store Rasputin existed

Love how Nikolai decides this is a good time to strip and look at his injury

‘Not until the Apparat drapes me in a dead animal and bonks me with a scepter’ Nikolai ilusm

Alina’s dress is so gorgeous

ICE COURT ICE COURT ICE COURT

(But how can we do ice court without Inej? Who’s gonna call Inej and say they need her help?)

Fascinated by what they’re doing here. I mean, it makes sense. They wrote separate storylines to involve the crows in the SaB trilogy so it would make sense they’d write separate storylines for Alina and those characters to be involved in the SoC duology. But like, damn. Yikes. Big yikes.

[showfallmediamaintenance]

[Video transcript begin.]

[A blur, as someone hastily shoves the device into their pocket, the person turns to the left, revealing someone in a bloodied white dress shirt and black pants, their brown hair is slightly above shoulder length. Very obviously dressed up as Edgar. The cosplay is accented by a foam crowbar. They’re trying to look confident, but their eyes betray their anxiety.]

?: Hi! Sorry if this is weird, but… are you the guy who played Edgar in The Mechanic’s Lament?

[Voice registered. Awaiting name.]

?: Yes, I am! Why?

[Voice identified: Edgar Pression.]

?: I um… I’m a really big fan, and… Wait, sorry. I’m Ellie. I should’ve probably done that first. Or… wait, no. 

[Name registered, applying…]

E: Well, it’s nice to meet you, Ellie. I’m Edgar, as you probably already know.

[Edgar brings his right hand up, metal glinting, as he does so, Ellie holds out their left hand, they shake hands. Ellie brings their hand down and shoves it into their pocket, bouncing back and forth on their heels.]

El: I’m sorry, I’m already messing this up.

E: Don’t worry about it, I don’t have anything going on, take your time. 

[Ellie turns back to the end of the aisle, where two people appear to be leaning in, wearing cosplays related to the one Ellie is wearing. They seem to be watching the interaction. They both give them reassuring gestures, and smile. Ellie turns back to face Edgar.]

E: I have to say, I really love your cosplay! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you just walked right out of the show itself. The blood stains are exactly where I remember them being on my original costume!

[Their eyes light up, and the tension in their shoulders loosens. Their expression changes from nervous to proud within seconds.]

El: Thank you! I worked really hard on it, that really means a lot to me. 

[Ellie takes a deep breath, and makes eye contact with Edgar.]

El: Can you sign something for me? And uh… maybe answer a few questions…?

E: Of course! Shoot!

El: [Holding out a pen and their crowbar prop.] First question, what was your favourite part of working on the shows? 

E: [While signing the crowbar.] Oh, easy. The environment. It was really friendly! But, I wouldn’t recommend working with such a big company if you haven’t done anything smaller before. It can be really intimidating. When I got there for the first time, I’ll admit, I was pretty scared. 

[He hands the prop back, and Ellie smiles at it, holding onto it with both hands.]

El: Okay, so start small if you’re looking into acting?

E: Definitely. Build up to bigger companies bit by bit, that’s my advice. But, don’t take it as a guideline. Do what you want.

El: Got it! Uh, question two, do you have a favourite scene in The Mechanic’s Lament?

[Edgar pauses for a second.]

E: It’s hard to choose, really. But… if I had to pick one, I’d say the apple scene. 

El: Any particular reason why? 

E: It was a very creative concept for a scene, as well as fun to do.

El: That makes sense, yeah. It looked so realistic! One of my friends almost threw up while watching!  

E: Oh, yikes. Next time you see them, tell your friend that I’m very sorry about that. 

El: I will, she was okay, though. Don’t worry. [A short pause.] Question three! Are you close with any of the other actors? 

E: [Chuckling.] Yep! I’m pretty close with a lot of them! Katherine and I are actually together outside of the show. 

[Ellie’s eyebrows raise slightly.]

El: Dang, did you start dating before or after the show? If that’s not too personal, I mean.

E: I don’t mind sharing. We got together a little before the show. Still going strong!

El: That’s really neat! Sorry for being surprised, I just didn’t expect that. 

E: People never do, but it's fine, don’t even worry about it.

El: I have a few more questions for you, uh… so, do you have any opinions on how Stacy and Katherine have been characterised by the fandom?

E: Hm… That’s a tough one. I definitely think they should give them more depth with how they write them. There was one work that wrote them very well, I enjoyed reading it quite a lot. It was… hm. What was it?

[He pauses for 7 seconds, likely attempting to recall the title.]

E: Oh! Right! It was titled ‘Small Talk.’ I forget the author, but… it was quite well done. 

[Ellie freezes, eyes widening. Their mouth opens slightly, they don’t say anything for a few seconds.]

El: [Quietly.] I wrote that one.

E: You did? Well, incredible work, Ellie. It’s a favourite of mine. You should consider going into writing!

El: It is? Thank you so much!

E: You really are very skilled, I’m not kidding. 

[They beam at Edgar, letting go of the crowbar prop and shaking their free hand.] 

El: [Clearing their throat.] Okay, last question, is wrenchtrap canon? 

[Edgar laughs for a second. The smile on his face somehow audible in his words.]

E: Well, it’s up to audience interpretation, really.

[Ellie slaps their free hand over their mouth, a small squeak making it through the barrier, one of the two people from around the corner screams. It’s cut off abruptly.]

El: I– Thank you so much for your time, Edgar! It was nice meeting you!

[They turn to leave.]

E: It was wonderful talking to you, Ellie. Have a great rest of your day!

[Ellie sprints away to their friends around the corner, they immediately begin loudly talking about the information given to them.]

E: [Sighing.] Jeez, that was… exhausting. 

[Transcript end.]