#you can’t tell from someone’s weight what lifestyle they have

[aliosne]

I keep seeing people spout Weird Shit about fat people on this site and im just so fucking tired didnt we litigate this shit back in like 2013

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

I'll Crawl Home To Her

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!reader

Summary: Simon is away on a mission and you are on his mind. Having to extend his stay, he is going to miss Valentine's day, but coming across a recent trend on TikTok, he may have a way to say just how much you mean to him.

***So, this came from the TikTok trend I came across of military guys posting pics of their girlfriends/wives/fiancees/etc. to the song Work Song by Hozier and I wanted Simon to do it too for you. So here it is! Just a little something extra***

***Pictures are made by me***

Simon can’t sleep, again. 

It’s been a while that his team has been in the field on their current mission and though he knows he should focus on the task at hand, there is so much on his mind tonight. Even though he is tired, he cannot seem to get himself to drift off. There is something missing, or more like someone, that he wishes to be beside right now and that is you.

He feels guilty about still being gone as he should be in by now, just in time for Valentine's day, but that isn’t happening anymore. Things on this latest mission are taking longer than expected and instead of packing up to come home to you, he had to have that hard phone call to tell you that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. In that call he heard it there in your voice: that twinge of sadness that you always try to mask through hopeful and kind words, holding back the crackle in your voice as you choke back the tears in hopes that he won't hear it, but he does. He always does.

As much as he loves his job he is ready to be back with you again and hearing that does not make it any easier. 

The dark surrounds him as Simon lays in his cot, trying to numb his mind with his phone propped up in his hand, hopeful that with enough distraction sleep will eventually take him. He knows there is no better way to keep his mind from wandering back to those things he cannot change than by idly watching short content videos and he knows just where to go for that. He clicks on the TikTok app and begins to watch. 

Scrolling through the drivel and waste, past people spewing their nonsense, a video comes across his feed that instantly brings you right back to the forefront of his thoughts. The first slide is a picture of a young man in his fatigues and tactical gear smiling at the camera. He is clearly in the field on active duty and there is text across him that repeats the lyrics of the song playing. His picture is followed by a slide with what Simon assumes is his wife with the next bit of lyrics over her. It looks like a new trend amongst military personnel on the app, a tribute to the ones they are going to come home to in the future: children, pets, significant others, family. 

The song tugs at his heartstrings from the moment it begins; it's one he hasn't heard before, but the lyrics make his heart ache and his arms feel so incredibly empty without the weight of your body filling them as the singer speaks about how even in death they would find their way home to the one they love.

And fuck if that isn't something he thinks about a lot. 

It is a burden of this type of job, leaving all part of his heart behind back home every time he has to go out. He knows this lifestyle isn’t easy on either of you, that even though you’ve been together for a couple years now, having him constantly be pulled across the world and away from you still has a certain bite to it. Yet with all that stacked against your relationship, not once have you ever been anything other than supportive. Standing beside him through it all, constantly choosing to give him your heart no matter how hard this gets, loving him through the all the shit that gets thrown his way; if there is anyone his soul would seek out even in death, it would be you. 

He clicks on the sound at the bottom of the screen with a lump welling in his throat and starts to watch more videos of the same. One video turns into two and then three and now his heart is aching something fierce, like a physical burning in the center of his hardened chest that he tries to rub away with his hand, but he knows it's not going to go until he's near you again.

This longing is worse than it has ever been before. He misses your touch, all that soft, warm skin under his hardened hands; he misses your laugh, that sweet sound that can make the sunshine come out even on a rainy day; he yearns for your mouth, those full lips that he can lose himself in. It's almost too much to bear being away from you at that moment.

Simon was never one for big displays of sentimentality. No one ever seemed worth breaking down those walls that he had built up to allow himself to be vulnerable in such a public way like that. It never seemed worth the sacrifice. And for a long time, no matter who he met, that was true…until you.

You broke the mold when you came into his life. Now his heart can't help but burst at the seams whenever you pop into his head. He could be a thousand miles away from you, stuck in some hot, miserable shithole in the middle of nowhere, like he is right now, and yet the moment he thinks of you it doesn't seem quite so bad. 

Because he knows there is a piece of heaven waiting for him, something wonderful that is all his that the struggle of his other life will not touch, not if he has anything to do with it.

Simon may have to miss being there on the day when people show their loved ones how much they care, but that doesn’t mean he can do nothing. As the videos continue to play, he gets an idea, one that will hopefully show you just how much he really does care. 

As much as you go on the app, he is sure you have seen a video or two like this come across your scrolling. You have probably sat there and watched just as he did, thinking about him being so far away, missing him something terrible. Maybe you would like to see him make a video like that for you. Either way, this is something he wants to do, needs to do.

Simon has no pictures of just himself on his phone, none without you in them, and so that’s his first order if he wants to do this right. He tries to do the easy thing the next day and take a selfie, but he can’t get one that looks good enough for him to keep. The more he takes, the worse he thinks they look and that means he is going to have to get help whether he wants to or not, otherwise he is going to back out of doing this and he’s not going to let that happen. 

This is for you after all, he needs it to be perfect. You deserve that.

He decides his best bet is wrangling Soap into doing this for him; at least he is the most comfortable asking the sergeant. “Johnny, I need ya to do somethin’ for me,” Simon says as the team stands around awaiting transport into the designated location. “Don’t ask any fuckin’ questions, but I need ya to take a picture a me real quick.”

“Wanna do a beauty shoot here, L.T.? Seems a bit of a strange location,” Johnny jokes as Simon pulls out his phone from his pocket and shoves it into the sergeant’s open hand. Johnny watches him for a moment, taking a guess at what this is all really about. “Or is it for yer lass back home? Gonna send her somethin’ nice?”

Shaking his head, Simon laughs sarcastically. “Just take the damn picture, yeah? An’ make it look good. I want it ta look natural.”

This isn’t something the masked officer has much experience in and so posing is out; he instead goes for something where it looks like he is caught unaware that he’s being photographed. He’s looking off in the distance, his hand wrapped around his gun so they don’t just hang awkwardly at his side. Johnny quickly snaps the pic and hands the phone back to Simon to check. 

“That’ll do,” he says under his breath, satisfied enough with how it looks.

That night as he lays down for bed, he quickly pieces the video together: first his photo and then he needs one of you. He opens his camera roll and it is absurd how many different ones he has saved. There are so many to choose from that he has a hard time picking the perfect one, but settles on something recent. 

It’s one of you in the bathroom of your apartment, all cozy in the striped jumper he got you for your birthday. Your hair is pulled down out of the bun you keep it in for work, a bit messy from just getting in after you got off. Never has he seen someone more beautiful in such a simple state; you always could look like a dream without even trying. And even through your exhaustion you still give the camera and him the biggest, brightest smile. 

Yeah, it has to be this one. This is the beauty he does all this for.

Luckily it is a rather simple video to put together, he doesn’t have too much trouble getting it to look exactly like the others. He has to watch and rewatch it several times just to be sure he is happy with the product before he hits upload to his followers only. Being that you are the only person that follows him, that is exactly what he wants; he may have to be a bit secretive for work, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try and give you some normalcy.

To him you deserve the world and fuck if he isn’t going to try and give it to you.

He presses the button, the uploading dial in the upper hand corner spinning until it reaches 100%, and waits to see if you get it, hoping that it has the effect he wants in saying all he needs to for you to know how special you are to him.

Across the country, your phone buzzes with a random notification as you lay in bed. It's from Simon's account on TikTok saying he's made a new post. You can’t help how strange you think it is… He never posts anything on his account because he really only made one for you to send him stupid videos to watch whenever he needs to unwind and so it takes you by surprise to see that he has posted something. Opening the app curiously you go straight to check out what it is.

You are not prepared for the emotion that hits you the moment the video starts to play. It’s one of those military posts you have come across a couple of times while scrolling late at night, the ones that you have to quickly scroll past or risk crying at how sweet they are and how much they make you miss Simon. Now the heartfelt Hozier song is blasting through the speakers and it is for you.  

The sentiment behind the lyrics of the song mixed with the picture of him on his latest mission is almost too much. And of course he has picked the picture of you looking all natural, it’s like he can’t get enough of you when you don’t even try at all. You know better than anyone how Simon despises having his picture taken if it isn’t with you, so this a huge sign of just how deeply he cares. Instantly there is a stinging around the rims of your eyes as your vision shimmers. You let the video replay several times as the stray tears are let loose and stream heavily down your face.

Simon did this all for you.

Quickly you pull up your texting app and send him a message, hoping he’s still up to at least answer. You have to rub your eyes with the back of your hand to see the screen, but you type out your message as best you can.

I want you to know I'm crying right now because of you. Is that what you wanted? Make me something that has me crying?

A few minutes pass before your phone buzzes with a text from him, just as you finish wiping away more of the tears collecting on your cheeks. 

Guess you saw the video, yeah? I hope I did it right, sweetheart. Cause I fucking mean it.

You chuckle, swallowing down the lump of feelings that have lodged themselves in your throat, struggling not to start sobbing at how his sweet affection. Of all the things that could be said about Simon Riley, one that could never was that he didn't try his hardest when it came to loving you.

The emotion makes your hands quiver, but you text him back.

It is perfect, Simon. I love it. Really, you did so good.

Simon smiles to himself, glad that your deep connection allows him to share things like this with you. There is no one else that can see him like this, that he can allow his guard down around, and it feels nice to be this tender for the first time in his life. He truly feels as if he can be vulnerable, let himself love with his whole heart, and it is all because of you.

Maybe I'm going soft, but I wanted you to know that I am missing you like mad and that I hate I’m not there with you right now. Fuck, it's getting hard. Can't wait till you're back in my arms again, darling.

You close your eyes and press your lips to the screen as if he can feel your kiss through the screen.

Love you.

Not even a minute passes and the phone vibrates.

Love you too, my beautiful girl. I promise I'll be home soon.

[makehermassive]

You were waiting for someone like me to come along and enable you…

All your life you’ve held yourself back, worried about dieting and being fit, staying somewhat healthy, and exercising - all because you were scared of what everyone would say, scared of what giving in would lead to, because you thought that’s what guys wanted…. You always wanted to give in, you dreamed of being one of those morbidly obese people you see on my 600lb life or on some internet spectacle about weight gain and “too far”. You had your dirty fat fantasies, but that’s all they were - just fantasies…. Until you met me.

From day one I showed up with your favorite pastry from that bakery across town you always talk about, you were incredibly shy, only taking a few bites and saving it for later when we both knew you could have eaten a dozen right there if you truly wanted. But it took me some time to make you like this, to really let you give in to your fattest greasiest desires - just mindlessly being high, stuffed, fucked, and taken care of 24/7; never having to worry about a single thing except making sure you do what I tell you, even when you’re full beyond being able to move and you still have half a plate left, or a weight gain shake to really fill you up.

You do everything say all day everyday, because who else would fund and glorify your obese filled lazy lifestyle? Who else wants to see you sit around on your fatass all day eating, gaming, snacking - just getting fatter day in and day out without a care in the world. Because you want more, you need more and can’t stop yourself, you wouldn’t be satisfied if you tried to leave this lifestyle - it’s been your fate for a while now to be this huge and obediently massive, constantly growing for me uncontrollably at this point from how well we’ve trained you to sit around all day and wait for my piggy’s feedings and funnels

[mysticmellowlove]

Imagine living a lavish lifestyle with a number of maids and butlers to take care you. One particular butler goes out of his way to be by your side whenever possible.

You tell him to go clean the pool and he will return sooner than he should, saying that he completed the task when he really assigned it to someone else. You tell him to make your bed and he would take longer than he should since he is savoring your smell as he does the task.

Naturally, you would push his limits. Forcing him to wear the maid's uniforms from now on. Forcing him to lay his head on your lap or between your legs as you work. Force him to wear a collar and leash. Force him to lay with his ass out on your bed with no stimulation. Force him to sit on your desk while you overstimulate him. Etc etc

He'll listen to your every command with little to no hesitance. (Under threat of being fired of course <3)

drooling right now, you can’t tell me otherwise. what a snack honestly. bless you anon, this is what I needed. In fact I think this is what everyone needs at all times. For the new year I’m wishing you all a very submissive boy maid.

You believed everyone was a little crazy. You were, you lived in this big old house all alone after all. Your parents were, who would buy such a big house anyway? Your oldest hire definitely was, you could basically smell the guilt on him.

You knew that he manipulated the other workers around him so he could be closer to you. You assigned him to clean the pool? Mysteriously he gets back two hours earlier than you suspected.

You asked him to reorganise the china cabinet? All of a sudden the cabinet is flooded with other butlers. You asked him to remake your bed? Well…. You had to come in and hurry him up as he seemed to have taken a nap on the job.

You ask him to stay completely still?

“A-agh…ple…!” His whimpers echoed through the stark emptiness of the guest room you had cornered him in. Sighing you pushed off from the window sill and walked over, the sounds of your shoes on the marble made him shiver in anticipation.

“Still you’re refusing my command. You have some nerve.” There was a sense of false petulance in your words and you leaned your body over the side of the bed. He shifted to the side. His body leaning into your weight. His bare leg brushed against your hand, prompting you to grab onto it and sink your fingers into him.

His head left the mattress again, letting you see a glimpse of his unfocused eyes. A cheeky grin rose to your face as you trailed your other hand down his back before stopping on his plush ass.

Almost as an afterthought you drew your hand back and let it crash into his skin. Ignoring his sudden cry you pulled back and looked at the cherry mark you had left behind.

A laugh tore from you.

“You look much better like this. Maybe I’ll have to keep a closer eye on you.”

[writerpetals]

absolutely delicious | 🔞

; optional male lead smut |  ☁️

w; vampire!au, biting, blood

Your meal for the night looks a little nervous, but that’s to be expected. He fiddles with the sleeve of his jacket as he waits for you, every now and then running fingers through his hair or tapping his foot to the floor of the club while biting his lip. It’s his first time, you’re sure of it. First timers are always the most fun.

For a vampire, anyway, and getting to feed on willing humans every night that have a kink for the dark and mysterious makes life so, so much easier for you. For hundreds of years you’ve had to scour the streets in search of food. Shocking when the humans turned this lifestyle into a business, allowing clients with their fetishes for the strange and obscene to get their rocks off for a generous fee.

It gives you a free meal and some cash in your pocket, so you can’t complain. Sometimes clients want a little extra, but you only offer such services to the ones you find cute.

He is pretty cute, you think as he tells you his name with a wavering voice. Strikingly handsome, if you were being completely honest, but you can’t let your excitement show too much.

This human follows you to a room in the back of the busy club. The two of you slip between the humans and monsters getting close and acquainted as the music echoes through the corridors. The bass shakes you to your core, and maybe a little excitement as well. It’s been awhile since you’ve been with someone as gorgeous as him.

“Sit,” you instruct the moment you’ve slipped away behind a locked door. Faint sounds of conversations and music can still be heard, but it’s not enough to distract you from your goal. “First time, baby?” With a giggle, you settle next to him on the large, red velvet sofa in the far wall of the room. Around you are black walls decorated with gold ornaments, thick-framed pictures of different creatures in seductive poses, and an assortment of different flogging toys lined up in a row… if you need them.

“Uh, y-yeah.” Nervously, he mumbles and rubs his palm along the back of his neck. “I’ve never… done anything like this before.”

“Aw,” you coo, leaning closer to brush strands of his soft, silky hair from his forehead. “I’ll take care of you, baby. Promise.”

He releases an anxious chuckle. His eyes fall to the ground. He lacks the confidence to even look you in the eyes.

Maybe he needs a different view, you think. The black, lace robe you adorn falls from your shoulders after tugging on the ribbon around your waist, exposing the blood red lingerie. Your breasts nearly overflow from the cup of your bra, and it’s the first thing he sets his eyes on. Then he follows the curve of your waist to the tiniest little pair of sheer panties, licking his lips and sucking in a sharp breath.

“So… vampires are your thing?” You ask in a nonchalant tone, reaching for him to rub your palm along his chest.

“Yes,” he replies in an exhale. “I, uh, don’t mean to… to offend you. As if you’re just an object to be used or anything, but I… I heard about this place from a friend.”

Oh, he’s simply the sweetest. You can’t help but to smirk. So innocent and cute. You resist the urge to tell him you’ll be the one using him as an object. He’s trying his best.

“I’ve been… a little lonely, lately.” His voice lowers as his eyes fall to the floor. Poor thing. Probably just went through a bad breakup. Maybe there’s a person he needs to forget, and the two sharp points of a vampire’s fangs are just enough to do the job.

“Well, we can fix that.” With that, you settle closer to him, leaning in so your voice fills his ear in an instant. “What do you like to do for fun?” As you ask, your hand rises to his chest again, brushing your fingers over the exposed skin on his throat. You can feel his blood pumping vigorously just beneath your flesh. You resist from groaning at just the thought of tasting him. You know he’s going to be absolutely delicious.

“Well,” he begins, clearing his throat and shifting his weight from side to side while gulping.

He rambles a little about the things he loves. It’s an old tactic to get clients to open up. They relax more when talking about something familiar to them, so you listen with all your focus on him. His heart rate slows as he mentions music. A genuine giggle escapes your lips, enjoying his company more than you thought you would.

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” you tell him honestly, knuckles running along the length of his neck before your fingertips graze the curve of his ear. Suddenly, he’s on edge once more the moment he’s done talking about himself.

“What about you?” he asks, causing your brows to arch. “What do you do for fun?”

You’ve never had a client want to get to know you before. He really is a sweetheart, you realize.

“Oh, you know… staying up until dawn, feeding on humans, taking naps in coffins…” A sly smirk crosses your lips as he hangs on to every word. “Typical vampire stuff.”

“Does it hurt?” he questions, lowering his eyes to the two sharp fangs in your mouth. “Getting bitten?”

“Only if you want it to,” you reply, smirk widening while running your fingers slowly through his hair. His body stiffens as he inhales a sharp breath.

“I don’t want it to…”

There’s a jolt of pure, hot need between your legs at his response. “Then, let me make it feel good, baby.”

Suddenly, you’re on your knees before him. He remains tense as he sits before you, but quickly relaxes beneath your touch when your hands run along the length of his strong thighs. You can hear him gulp once more. His heart is racing. Blood pumping. Skin flushed, and all of it makes you want him more. He’s so nervous, so on edge, yet you can see how badly he wants you, not only to fuck him, but to feed from him as well.

You have no problem doing both. “Now, I can tell you’re nervous.” You begin to unfasten his belt buckle before tugging on the button to his jeans. “So I’m going to go slow, and I’m going to explain everything I’m going to do to you, okay?”

All he can do is nod, jaw slacked, eyes full of fiery anticipation. He licks his lips before pushing his jeans down to his feet after kicking off his sneakers. Then he rids himself of his t-shirt, leaving himself in only his black boxer-briefs. Your eyes scan over his flesh, taking in every muscle, every curve until you feel your own mouth watering.

His hair is ruffled and his lips are glistening as he stares down at you. He never takes his sights off your movements, watching as you reach for the waistband of his boxers and pull them down just enough to free his awaiting length. Your fangs softly sink into your bottom lip at the sight, thick and hard and ready for your mouth.

“I’m going to suck you off,” you tell him, watching his chest rise and fall in rapid motion, “and don’t worry about the fangs. I’m incredibly gentle.”

With that, you lean in to lick the tip of his length you’re gripping at the base with one hand. His entire body tenses all over again, sucking air between his teeth and not exhaling until you’re slipping the tip past your lips. A few pumps of your fist drives him wild while you tend to the swollen mushroom head, tongue swirling around before taking him farther inside your mouth.

A deep groan builds in his chest. A few curses follow. He becomes putty in your hands as you expertly suck him off, being mindful of the sharp fangs in your mouth, but he has forgotten all about them. His chest rises and falls in time with your motions, groans and whimpers becoming all the more evident of the pleasure filling his body.

Then you pull away just as quickly as you began. His eyes pop open as his head rises from the back of the cushioned sofa.

“Wh-what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, baby,” you coo, leaning back to wipe your mouth, smearing the red lipstick a little over your cheek. “But I don’t want you finishing before the real fun has started.”

Slowly, you climb his body to your feet, mouth hovering just above his until your lips press into his own. You take him in a fiery, passionate kiss to earn a groan vibrating your flesh. His skin is flushed hot and burning with desire as your tongues intertwine a second before you pull away, teeth tugging at his bottom lip to leave him dying for more.

Hearing his heart pounding in his chest urges you to begin peeling your clothes off, piece by flimsy piece, until your lingerie is on the floor and you’re bare before him. He drinks in the sight of you, hungry vampire before him, looking bloodthirsty as you lick your lips while your fangs appear sharp as ever. His sights lower down your body, burning the image of your naked frame crawling over his own to settle on his lap.

“Gonna fuck you now, baby,” you groan, reaching between the two of you to grip him in your fist once again. “And I’m going to taste your blood while I do it.”

You hear no protest. He only licks his lips, groans, and tosses his head back to lure you in. You take his invitation happily and hungrily, grinding your body against him while your lips fall to his neck. A few strokes of your hand prep him once again, his length hard and needy and desperate for you to sink down onto him.

Without a word, you do just that, aligning the tip until your entrance engulfs him. Another deep, unsteady groan fills the room as he becomes buried inside your walls, coating his flesh in your arousal.

“Oh… oh my God,” he whimpers, eyes screwing shut, hands rising to grab hold of you. “Please…” Desperately, he pushes his hips into you, causing you to moan his name and throw your head back. A few rolls of your hips do the both of you good as his hands begin to roam your body. Fingertips ghost over your ribs until he reaches your chest. His thumbs brush over your nipples as you ride him, grinding your body against his own and getting lost in the pleasure.

Though his blood pumps harder, quicker, drawing you into his neck once more. Your pace quickens as you kiss his flesh, listening to him groan, concentrating on the beating of his heart pumping the blood you’re dying to taste.

“Fuck,” you cry out, bliss filling your body, struggling between the pleasure riding him gives you and the need to feed on him. “I’m… I’m going to bite you… when I… come…” Your mind grows fuzzy, trying to get the words out but he’s hitting so deep inside of you as you roll your hips. Your body trembles as ecstasy takes hold.

He wraps an arm around your back, pulling you in, groaning in your ear, pumping his hips between your shaking thighs. Neither of you will last much longer. He’s high on the experience and you’re getting off to him submitting himself to you so desperately it drives you wild. He wants it just as much as you do. The thought brings you that much closer to the edge.

And just when you feel the bliss bubbling, the tension coiling, and finally the wave of pleasure coursing through your body, you open your mouth wide to pierce his flushed flesh with the sharp points of your fangs. Red hot blood spills onto your tongue just as your release of pleasure coats his flesh, wetter and wetter the more you suck from him.

He tenses and trembles until he’s spilling inside of you, his hot release filling you up just as his blood does the same. Sucking at his neck, you hungrily take enough of his blood to satisfy you completely, only pulling away when you assume he begins to grow weak while coming back down from the high.

It only takes a few seconds to bounce back from the bliss of feeding, having more energy than before thanks to his blood. However, you’re not done with your client just yet. You take the time to help him clean up, tend to his wounds by healing the openings in his neck with your own blood. You promise him there will be no scars, though he will be fatigued the following day.

He hums softly, still on cloud nine after being fucked and fed on. You don’t blame him, however, knowing a vampire’s fangs can bring their own pleasure with a sense of relaxation in the after effects. And though it pains you to see him go due to him being the most fun you have had with a client in a long time, you’re hopeful to see the sweet, tasty human soon.

[pinkjacketorangetie]

So how do you think the Lupin gang and zengata would deal with having a s/o where they are not easily weakened or easy to cry, very tough, can deal with the hectic lifestyle, was born into it, even they have their breaking point though, they break down right after something fucked up happened to them? (They’ve dealt with fucked up shit before, but this really hit a wound of theirs). They’re crying loudly like their heart got ripped out and they can’t see the world around them. If they’re hugged at all, s/o clings onto the person hugging them until they stop wailing? How do lup gang and zeni deal with during the crying, and after the crying, there is calm after the crying, but s/o is not cheered up either?

head canons -- you are inconsolable

this is such good stuff!! comfort headcanons under the cut. thank you for requesting these! my box is always open

lupin:

he is immediately affected by your emtions and shares in your distress

the situation was high stress for everybody, but he was suprised at your reaction

he always assumed you could handle anything because that is what you showed to people. he was wrong, obviously

he pulled you away from the chaos and led you into a back room. he could tell you were tripping over your feet so he scooped you up and threw you over his shoulder for the rest of the way

when it was safe, he held you tight against his body, trying to protect you from hurting yourself as you seemingly lost control of your body

he didn’t want you to hit your head on a wall or break your arm if you fell or something

he felt your legs weaken and wobble, so he gently sat down with you, putting your body between his legs as he continued to hold your torso against him.

he kept his hand on the back of your head on the descent down, keeping your face buried into his neck. your tears began to stain his shirt and his jacket but he didn’t care

the only thing he was worried about was you

he laid his hand on your cheek and tilted your face up to look at him once you calmed down. you were still quivering but he could tell that the episode was passing.

he leaned down and kissed your cheeks multiple times, pressing his lips against the tracks the dried tears made on your skin.

“we’ll talk later.” he said simply, looking back at how the dim lighitng made her face glow.

you looked up at him and nodded, now becoming consious of her much your fingers ached after gripping his shirt. you let go and he laid his hand over yours, messaging it gently.

jigen:

you didn’t want him to see you like this. you knew he wouldn’t know what to do with you. you knew he’d get frustrated quickly.

but when two in the morning rolled around and your world was falling down around you, you had no other choice.

you wrapped yourself up in a blanket you had brought and left your motel room, walking outside down the railing to his room. you raised your first up and hesitantly knocked.

jigen opened almost immediately. he looked just as distraught as you did, his eyes full of worry for you. “you giving up the touch bitch act?” he said lightly, opening his arms to you.

that was when you lost it. you crossed the threshold and fell into his waiting arms. he held you instantly, holding you as tight and as sure as he could, reaching to shut the door with his foot.

he lifted you up, keeping you wrapped in your blanket, and carried you over to his bed.

he sat down, the combined weight of him and you on his lap sank into the mattress.

he pulled the edge of the blanket over you head like a hood and snuggled you close, nudging his nose against her cheek as he whispered in your ear.

“i was so worried about you, angel.”

“i knew you would need someone tonight and i’m happy you picked me.”

“please, please let me take care of you. you don’t have to do this alone anymore. let me help you.”

after a while he laid down with you and tucked you in, stroking your hair. he smiled when you began to calm down, the worry lifted out of his heart.

“i’m not going to let that happen to you again, you hear me?

goemon:

“are you… are you alright, y/n?”

you had come to sit by goemon a day or two after it happened and you didn’t say a word. you had a distant look in your eyes and as you turned to him, it was obvious that you were looking at anything except him.

reluctantly, he opened his arms to you, assuming you wouldn’t take them, but your actions suprised him.

you threw yourself into his arms and cried. it was unlike anything he had ever seen before

he wrapped his arms around you, almost like he was a cucoon around you protecting you from the outside world

in this case, the outside world was pure nature, and it was harmless. but for a moment, he mourned not being able to adequately protect you from the outside world that hurt you

gently, he reclinced back with you in his arms, until his back was flush against the ground. he could only hear your cries and the sounds of the river in his ears. he looked up at the sky, which was turning to dusk. the sight of you falling apart broke him and he knew he could have prevented your pain.

after a while, you noticed you began to breathe in rhytm with him. you noticed how you would blink in syn with his hand rubbing your back. you noticed how his voice hummed gently in your ears as he recited mantras and chants to calm you down.

by no means did you feel better, but his steady presence was just enough to comfort you.

he noticed and once he felt brave enough to look down at you, he did, and took in the sight of your tear-soaked form clinging to his body. he nudged your chin gently.

“look up at the sky, y/n.”

you obeyed and took your eyes off of him and looked up at the sky.

“count the stars.”

you obeyed, and he watched as your lips mouth the numbers, but no sound came out of your mouth.

“look at how they shine for you, my love.”

fujiko:

when she returned and saw you in the state you were in, she frowned.

setting down her bags and taking off her shoes as she walked over to you, she sat next to you and wrapped her arms around you.

when you felt her body you crumpled into it, tears starting to take over your whole being.

she held onto you, leaning back so that you both could hopefully be a little more comfortable.

she knew not to speak. she knew how to hold you and where to put her hands and how to make you feel safe. she knew you probably would not feel better about this for a while, but she wanted to make your life easier as you dealt with it.

when she felt like you could handle it, she asked you if anything happened that was a trigger. she asked if anything she did was a trigger.

you answered her honestly and put to bed any worry that it was her fault.

fujiko frowned when she noticed how absolutely sick you looked. “my love, you’re green.”

you pouted for a moment and sniffled, looking into her eyes for the first time since she got home. you two had your own places, but an agreement where whenever you felt like this, you would go to hers and wait for her.

it didn’t happen very often, but when it did, she wanted you to know you could turn to her for anything you needed.

she guided your head to rest on her shoulder as you began to cry again,

she knew it was going to be a long night. as your emotions began to weigh on her, she’d cry with you. she’d be by your side every time you stepped forward or backslid.

zenigata:

it happens in the interrogation room after you got caught and taken in. you were hurt and betrayed that the gang would leave you with zenigata like that

of course zenigata capitalized on those emotions during questioning to get the most information he could

before he could really get anywhere, you broke down. you fell onto the floor and curled up as sobs racked your body

zenigata was alarmed and tried to pick you up off the tile. you were limp and he had to scoop you up in his big arms to place you onto a couch in a different office.

questioning was over and now his main focus was taking care of you.

he always had a soft spot for you, even though you were a criminal, and always secretly had hopes of reforming you.

he sat on the couch with your head in his lap and stroked your hair. he cooed softly, encouraging you to relax and calm down, and that you would be okay.

“shh, pretty baby, don’t worry. you’re with me now. i’ll protect you, nothing bad is going to happen”

his voice was smooth like silk and you finally gave into him, letting him coddle you as your body finally reacted to the months of emotions you were hiding.

when he thought you were calmed, he sat you up and stroked your tear stained cheek gently.

he guided you to lean your head on his shoulder, placing his other hand on your back.

in the silence, he leaned down and kissed your head tenderly.

“my dear one… what am i going to do with you?”

[yell0wsalt]

Red

Written for Lin Beifong's Week (Day 6: Soulmates)

Pairing: Lin Beifong/Bumi II

--

When Lin was a young girl, she was told many stories. 

Of course, there were ones about her mother and her friend’s heroics in the Hundred Years War and beyond– they’ve become part of regular conversations growing up. There were the outlandish ones made up by her Uncle Sokka, though– those never failed to make her laugh– and countless others about the spirits and mystical creatures that populated the world around them and beyond. 

Of them all there was one that struck Lin in particular. The story of Red.

Yue was the goddess of the moon, the one who worked harmoniously with the ocean spirit La. Yes, this was the story everyone had become familiar with for many years.

However, what many did not know was Yue’s reach as the matchmaker goddess. 

How? What did that mean?

Through the color red. 

The Red strings of fate. A person’s connection to others manifested through these strings. Friendships, family, and other relationships, the people someone meets can make an impact on their life in one way or another.

Forever connected through a kind of love.

Hearing this story for the first time, Lin bounced about, giddy with curiosity. Green eyes widened the size of dinner plates and sparkled brilliantly.

Was this story true? What would this mean for her when she was older? 

The mind buzzed with the possibilities. She could not wait to grow up. 

When Lin went to bed that night, she dreamt of red.

***

Lin hated the color red.

As it turned out, red was not her color.

Good fortunes, her ass.

Red. It was the color of loss.

The blood shed from her comrades when the missions she led went wrong. Especially the first one. That one always stayed with her. It turned to a festering sore that was never able to fully heal.

One seemingly minor detail missed, one rash call, and the world shifted on its head.

Telling parents and significant others of their losses did not get any easier. Flashbacks of their ear piercing cries, the sight of all the blood. There was so much of it and she was unable to do a thing about it.

She shuddered so hard her bones ached.

As the years went on, the weight became increasingly heavy. Day by day she internalized the guilt, letting it accumulate. This was the burden she had to bear. Lin grit her teeth and carried on.

It was the color of betrayal.

The blood that spattered across her cheek when Suyin rebuffed her disapproval of her lifestyle and turned against her.

A finger trailed down the side of her face in remembrance of the incident before it fell to her side limply. 

Though they have become few and far between nowadays, there were still moments when she could hear the metal cables snapping and feel the resulting blinding pain if she thought about it too long.

She clenched her fists. Tight enough her knuckles blanched. Nails were too damned short to break the skin of the palm of her hand. A heated exhale through her nose accompanied a severe rake through loose hair. Desperate for another distraction and feel something.

Red. It was anger. It was the color she saw when she found out about… her… and them.

“Look, Lin. We have been growing apart for a long time now. We are completely different people. It was time we admit we are going down different paths in life.”

“Then you talk to me like the adults we are!” she screeched. “Or rather, supposed to be,” raising a wary eye at the acolyte who was still clinging onto Tenzin’s arm.

“Tenzin and I are soulmates,” she chimed in. “You can’t give him what he wants. What he needs.”

The audacity– “Who are you interrupting our conversation?!”

“Don’t talk to Pema that way!” he warned.

Pema…

The air suddenly pulled from her lungs. Shock and hurt flashed across her face before settling to fierce anger. “You cannot tell me what to do. Not now. Not ever.”

“Lin!”

Tenzin’s call to her was drowned out by the blood thundering in her ears. She turned away in a blind fury, desperate to go somewhere. Anywhere. Nowhere. Lin moved directionless through blurred tears, the earth beneath her feet led her way out.

Those times when she went to bed at the end of the day, Lin rolled away from the moon’s light.

Some nights, she tried to think about those stories she used to hear as a little girl. The thoughts made her curl in on herself before pulling the covers up to swallow her whole.

Red was nothing more than a childish dream. Now that she was older, she knew better. 

Her sleeps became dreamless.

***

Lin did not believe in soulmates. She found it to be a preposterous idea. 

To find and have someone who is connected to you with happiness and good fortune? Give her a break.

But–

When Bumi returned to Republic City from his United Forces deployment, the first person he wanted to see was her.

It had been years since they saw each other last. He looked good in his red and gold uniform. Really good. Down to his wild hair and couple of buttons fastened askew. Even with how brutal being part of the United Forces can be, especially in his position, Bumi was still… Bumi. 

The breath of fresh air he helped bring into her life was hard to ignore. 

When he tried to treat Lin to a bouquet of flowers and strawberry shortcake for her birthday. It was the first one they spent together. 

“Bumi, I appreciate the thought, but I’m not touching that.”

“What? It’s not like I made it. We’ve been through that mess before. Got it from PikPak’s Pastries,” thumbing in a vague direction over his shoulder outside. “It’s light and looks good.” He waggled his eyebrows and wore that classic rakish grin.

“I’m allergic to strawberries,” she deadpanned.

He froze. “Really? Well– ha–,” he raked a hand through his coarse hair and smiled sheepishly. “Sabotage! Sabotage, I tell you! I thought I had this whole evening set up with dinner and a dessert. Of course it would not all go to plan. Strawberry cake and flowers… foolproof romantic treat in theory, yeah? Well such is not my style it seems,” he chuckled.

“Hey–” she gently cupped his cheek, smiling kindly. “You know, they sell another one that is similar and made with cherries instead.”

Bumi immediately perked up. “Cherries, yeah! Cherries are good!”

She softly nodded with a warmth in her eyes. “Cherries are good.”

The two took the trip hand in hand to the bakery and picked up fresh slices. 

The rest of the night was spent in, exchanging stories and taking comfort in the other’s company.

It was a happy birthday. One of the best ones she had in a while.

When Bumi and Lin would settle into bed for the night, his arms brought her in tight, cradling her head and waist. A tender kiss placed on her forehead before gently whispering, “Goodnight, Linny. Love you.”

Lin melted into his embrace, turning her head into the crook of his neck to whisper, “Good night. I love you, too.” Eyes fluttered, she was a breath away from slumber.

For an instant, Lin glanced over Bumi’s shoulder and caught the moon in their bedroom window. 

Bright and whole, it illuminated the night smiling down at her.

Lips curved up slowly before sleep overtook the couple for the night.

Maybe–

Just maybe.

Red wasn’t so bad of a color after all.

[kenzirr]

hi!! idk if you take any requests for rafe but I think your writing is really good and i have a fic idea that i can’t write myself LMAO.

so y/n is part of the pogues but she’s also a kook, like kiara. they create a plan to make her persue rafe to get closer to the gold because she used to have a fling with him and she gets attached once again. my vision includes a LOTT of angst cause i love it but yeah. there can be some drama between jj as well, choosing either for endgame. switch it up as you please!!

OMG I LOVE THIS IDEAA HERE YOU GO

A Treacherous Heart

**Pairings:** Y/N x Rafe, Y/N x JJ (endgame)

**Warnings:** Angst, emotional manipulation, violence, internal conflict, betrayal

---

Y/N has always been the bridge between the Kooks and the Pogues, much like Kiara. When the Pogues discover a new lead on the hidden gold, they realize that infiltrating the Kooks' circle is crucial. Y/N, with her Kook background and past relationship with Rafe, becomes the linchpin of their plan.

---

The Pogues gather around John B's porch, the weight of their latest lead on the gold pressing down on them.

"It's our best chance," John B says, looking at each of them in turn. "But we need someone who can get close to Rafe."

Kiara glances at Y/N, then back at John B. "Y/N's the only one who can pull this off. She knows Rafe better than any of us."

Y/N shifts uncomfortably. "You want me to get close to him again? After everything?"

"It's not ideal, but it's our best shot," John B replies.

JJ stands up abruptly, fists clenched. "This is a bad idea. Rafe's dangerous. You can't ask her to do this."

Y/N meets JJ's gaze. "I can handle it, JJ."

JJ shakes his head. "You shouldn't have to."

---

Y/N reluctantly agrees to the plan, despite JJ's obvious disapproval. She reaches out to Rafe, rekindling their relationship under the guise of old feelings. As the days pass, Y/N spends more time with Rafe, finding herself slipping into old habits.

One evening, Y/N and Rafe are sitting by the fire at his family's beach house. He looks at her with an intensity that makes her heart race.

"I missed this," Rafe says softly. "Missed us."

Y/N forces a smile. "Me too."

But inside, she’s conflicted. She knows she’s playing a dangerous game, and the line between manipulation and genuine emotion begins to blur.

---

Meanwhile, JJ's frustration grows. One night, he confronts Y/N as she returns from another evening with Rafe.

"You’re getting too close," JJ snaps. "This isn’t what we agreed on."

Y/N glares at him. "What do you expect me to do, JJ? This is part of the plan."

"It’s not just the plan," JJ retorts. "I can see it in your eyes. You’re falling for him again."

Y/N’s eyes flash with anger. "You don’t get to tell me how I feel."

JJ steps closer, his voice low and intense. "I care about you, Y/N. I don’t want to see you get hurt."

The tension between them is palpable, and for a moment, it seems like JJ might say more. But he just turns and walks away, leaving Y/N standing alone, torn between her mission and her emotions.

---

Days turn into weeks, and Y/N finds herself deeply entangled in Rafe’s world. He takes her to lavish parties, introduces her to influential people, and reminds her of the seductive allure of the Kook lifestyle. One night, after an extravagant gala, Rafe and Y/N sit in his car overlooking the water.

"You know, I’ve been thinking," Rafe says, his voice soft. "We could leave all this behind. Just you and me. Start fresh."

Y/N looks at him, torn. "Rafe, I..."

Before she can continue, Rafe leans in and kisses her. For a moment, she loses herself in the kiss, but then she pulls back, the reality of her mission crashing down on her.

---

The tension reaches a boiling point when Rafe discovers Y/N's true motives. One evening, as Y/N is about to leave, Rafe grabs her arm, his eyes dark with anger.

"You’ve been playing me," he hisses. "Using me to get to the gold."

Y/N tries to pull away. "Rafe, I can explain—"

But Rafe’s grip tightens. "Save it. You think you can betray me and get away with it?"

In the ensuing struggle, Y/N manages to escape, but not without sustaining a few bruises. She runs to the Pogues, breathless and shaken.

"We have to move," she tells them. "Rafe knows everything."

---

The Pogues execute a risky plan to retrieve the information about the gold from Rafe’s estate. The confrontation is intense, with emotions running high. JJ, despite his earlier anger, is fiercely protective of Y/N, risking everything to keep her safe.

They manage to secure the information, but the victory comes at a high personal cost. Y/N is left emotionally wrecked, caught between the resurfaced feelings for Rafe and the undeniable bond with JJ.

---

In the aftermath, the Pogues gather to regroup. The dynamic has shifted, and everyone feels the strain of recent events. Y/N and JJ share a quiet moment away from the group.

JJ looks at her, his expression softening. "I was just trying to protect you."

Y/N nods, tears welling up. "I know, JJ. And I appreciate it. But this whole thing... it’s complicated."

JJ reaches out, taking her hand. "We’ll figure it out.”

---

Weeks later, as the Pogues get closer to the gold, Y/N and JJ's relationship deepens. One evening, sitting by the beach, Y/N opens up to JJ about her feelings.

"I was conflicted for a long time," Y/N admits. "But I realize now... it’s always been you, JJ."

JJ smirks, pulling her close. "I’m glad you finally figured it out."

[burningpysche]

my girlfriend and i had a really long talk one night about women, and our generational anger. i know i have it. it runs so deep in me, and i feel it all the time. she mentioned that in school, the workouts that they had the girls doing, consisted of things like aerobics. which, in my opinion, is a workout pretty much just for aesthetics. versus the type of workouts they had for the boys, which consisted of things like running, push ups, weight lifting, etc. all things to build stamina, strength, endurance. i mentioned the way that fish grow, depending on the size of the body of water that they live in. if you put a fish in a pond, it’ll get just as big as it needs to get to occupy that space. if you put a fish in a bowl, it’ll only get so big. and if you start breeding that fish in the bowl, and you keep breeding those fish, they’ll only ever know that tiny bowl you put them in. they’ll never grow any bigger.

men are cowards in the way that they still carry this narrative that we’re genetically inferior to them, as if that hasn’t been their whole game this entire time. after decades and decades of imprisoning us, domesticating us, etc., they have the raw nerve to act as if we were just designed to be weaker than them. as if they didn’t put all these systems up, and band together to uphold those systems, just to keep us on the bottom. i know so many strong women. both physically, and emotionally. women can survive under pressure. women can grow as big as they need to, but rarely do we ever have the space to encourage that type of growth. we have to go out of our way, defy “gender norms” and all this other bullshit, just to find some sort of autonomy. some sort of strength that relies on ourselves alone. i think this is why women are so community driven. we have been conditioned to just huddle in a corner together and comfort one another as we all pretty much sit helpless, because we don’t know what we’re capable of. and we’re quite frankly scared of discovering it. because the price you pay is often deadly.

i feel like i wasn’t taught many lessons about self preservation. i feel like i was unfortunately taught how to be a housewife. i’m great at cooking, cleaning, keeping tidy, being pretty and getting fucked. being told what to do and doing it. i’m great at all of those things. and i can’t break out of those habits. i dedicate so much fucking time to looking beautiful, and keeping clean and tidy, and overall having the qualities of a housewife. because i feel like i’ll lose all of my value if i pursue anything else. even as a lesbian, which in a way, means i’m failing at traditional womanhood, i still have these problems. i have so many aspirations. so many dreams. so many things i want for myself. and i don’t go for them. ever. i watch time go by and think to myself, “well, i probably could’ve never done that anyways.” i was taught that i can’t do things on my own. i can’t survive under pressure. i have completely surrendered to that mindset. i remember a period of time where i didn’t surrender to that type of lifestyle. and it was honestly just fucking exhausting. all the fighting, and all of the disappointment from my family and friends. when you don’t play by the rules, everybody fucking hates you. i’ve just laid here helpless for i can’t even tell you how long now. feeling like there’s no end, no escape. i’m just supposed to submit to someone and stay at home and keep the house tidy and functional. but i’m not really like that. i don’t want that. i just keep using these tools i was given as a little girl, and they’re not doing me any good. i guess my life is safer this way, but it isn’t gratifying. i never feel alive until i do something fucking crazy or stupid. and realize, “damn, i didn’t die. nobody came after me or hurt me for doing this.”

it’s frightening to realize the gravity of life as a woman. to realize that you’re still very much in a cage. and to sit at the bottom of that cage and wonder to yourself, if i somehow got out of here, would what all happened to me on the way out even be worth it?

[princeblack]

It’s one of the worst days at work he’s had in awhile, causing him to actually contemplate quitting his job to move across the state to live with Sirius. But he doesn’t want to give up on school and he needs the money for housing, since he had to cut his parents off to pursue his dream. It hasn’t been easy, going from being spoiled in a mansion to living in a cramped one-bedroom that isn’t worth what he’s paying for it. But Regulus can handle the lifestyle change, struggling but still learning how to cook and do his own chores, juggling everything on top of classes and his job.

But what’s harder to deal with are some of his clients, like the older woman (she calls herself Tammy) who visits him for a private session every Friday. He tries to be professional and fake his way through it, swaying in her lap and allowing her to touch him for the extra hundred dollars. She isn’t allowed to touch his cock, but she’s given permission for her hands to roam elsewhere. Regulus hates it, but he’s good at convincing her otherwise. Maybe a little too good, because she causes some trouble when he ends the session for tonight, trying to touch on him and ask him to stay even when their time is up.

He takes a break after finally shaking her off, getting some water and contemplating his life decisions when his boss reminds him of the scheduled Bachelorette party tonight that starts in five. “You’re one of my only dancers who makes me any money, Black. So get out there before those girls come in.” She pats him on the back before walking off, leaving him there contemplating how he can possibly survive the rest of the night. Barely having time to refresh himself, he leaves the locker room again, moving back out into the club. 

He probably still looks good, but his red curls are disheveled and there’s light sweat on his body from how warm the building is. He’s been wearing the heavy jewelry for so long that he barely notices the weight of it anymore, hanging from his shoulders and neck. During his first week at the job, it was strange walking around in just a mens’ thong and jewelry, his body out on display for everyone, showing everything from his ass to his nipple piercings. But now it’s just his usual, Regulus not even batting an eye as he walks across the floor and eyes are drawn to him.

But then he feels someone touch his arm, causing him to turn, his blood running cold when he sees her face. It’s Tammy from earlier, who already has her wallet out as if that would appease him this time around. “Hey, you’re back– uh, I know I probably wasn't very clear earlier, but I’ll pay three hundred for another hour?” she asks, her voice as eager as her intense blue eyes.

“Can’t,” Regulus lies easily. “I’m reserved for a bachelorette party, which is starting any second now.” Truthfully, this woman is becoming addicted and should probably spend her money elsewhere instead of being a regular for a stripper half her age. But it’s not his place to judge, so usually he tries not to. That is, until the woman can’t take a hint and won’t stop putting her hands all over him even when he’s not giving her a dance.

“I’ll double whatever they’re paying you,” she offers stubbornly, smiling at him in a way that sends a chill down his spine. It’s as if she didn’t hear what he said, instead more concerned with the services he offered, as if he were some kind of machine.

“Not how this works– I’m already booked. Besides, I’m sure you have responsibilities. Go get some rest, okay?” It’s the ‘nicest’ way he could possibly tell her to get a life, but what else was he supposed to do? Let her think it was okay to continue harassing him like this after he already said no? “Have a good night, Tammy.” What he really wants to do is tell her to go to hell for touching him outside of the private room, as if she was in a hurry to get whatever she wanted from him with no regard for his boundaries.

But he doesn’t, because that would cost his boss a customer and a regular. Luckily something else catches his attention, his green eyes drawing away from the older client to look at the one approaching them. She’s the most gorgeous woman he’s ever seen, wearing a lacy black bra and a tiny cardigan, barely covering any of her skin. Her stomach is perfect, but so are all her curves, including the cleavage at the top of her chest. But most perfect of all is her pretty face with big blue eyes and full lips; the prettiest facial structure he’s ever seen on another person. He can’t help the way his eyes rake her body, even before she reaches them. She must be one of the girls from the bachelorette party, because he definitely would’ve noticed her if she were here earlier. / @ghstdoll

[unrepentant-thinner-part2]

Well, I’m not sure if this is meant to be part of my journey or not but, I’m officially an Optavia coach now that I’ve reached the goal that I set for myself. I’ve lost 160 lbs in total and feel like I can help others since I’m coming from a place of experience.

I haven’t shared before & after pics in awhile and I feel like now would be a good time to see what a difference 160 lbs can make.

I’ll share more info later. Although I still have a bit that I’d like to lose, I feel like I can finally say that I’ve been successful in my weight loss journey. It’s no longer just a journey but truly a life long commitment & lifestyle. I’m happier, healthier both physically as well as mentally. The pure joy I get, just being able to walk without struggling to move and to breathe is so worth it! Don’t ever let someone tell you that it can’t be done.

[elfradfem]

so i’m clearly gaining a bit of weight because i’m coming up to my mid 20s, and I was trying a skirt on today and it just didn’t fit me very well anymore and was very uncomfortable to try and close around my hips and stomach. I was first like oh darn just doesn’t fit me anymore

But I was telling my grandma about it and she was like ‘oh yeah I noticed the stretch marks on your thighs’

And I said oh so do I need to lose weight

And she said um… well… if you don’t like how you look or you want to stay in the clothes that you have you could probably exercise more… because if you keep having what you do every day and not exercising a lot you could gain another 5 pounds

And even as someone who is a relatively thin woman and has been all her life that was still so triggering to me to feel that people are scrutinizing my body and making judgements on it and thinking oh she has stretch marks on her thighs maybe she should stop eating all that she should exercise more

All I wanted was for someone to say to me that it’s normal for women in their 20s to not look like children anymore and to gain or fluctuate their weight, especially in the hips and butt and stomach area if they don’t diet or live a restrictive lifestyle

Like truly it made me rethink whether I should eat the fries I got from my favourite bubble tea place today and it feels so shit why can’t people just be normal about women

[wordsbymae]

Okay this is so hilarious because I wanted to add the whole “she would rather find out he cheated than this”, but I didn’t know how you would process this and didn’t add it in there. I just find it comical that as girlies who take pleasure in dark fictional men and doing bad stuff but the line is only cross once they cheat, it’s me I’m the girlies 😭😭😭. Yeah it would be so sad, like he would try to convince but she obviously hurting and wouldn’t want to see him, she interrupts him hanging up the phone and just getting up and leaving. While he bangs on the glass door for her to come back. She’s so heartbroken, it would probably take a few weeks until she finds enough courage to see him. He probably explain to her that he felt he was already a scum and a bum especially when he managed to bag her, so to cease his anxiety and insecurities of her realizing it and up and leaving (which in reality he would never let happen) he wanted to provided lavish lifestyle to satisfy her. But the gifts and providing for her wasn’t what her like him (but they did help tho). He was funny and witty, a very good listener and was attentive and overall a good honest man (so she thought). I can the family encouraging her to go see him again, because it’s obvious she still loves him even after this shocking betrayal. And he’s just so excited to see her again, and she demands him to tell her the whole truth while she promises not to up and leave and not to leave him in the dark like that again. He would do anything just to talk to her again. And the kids? She’s so devastated having to tell or lie (whatever you prefer. I would pick lie depending on the circumstances) why daddy isn’t home anymore. It was hard at first but with the support of his family it became easier. I can’t stress enough how I enjoy these little chats we share, I get so excited. I literally refresh your page and checked the time zone in Australia I was like “okay so it’s 11 am so in couple hours, I’ll hear from her again :)”

MY 100TH POST :D

Same here! I completely will not accept cheating, even in a fictional way. Most of the time if I read it in fiction I want it to be full-on angst and for the reader to completely shut out the cheater and find someone else. I do however like the "I thought you were cheating but you were doing x" trope, the angst and then the relief and then the rebuilding of trust is just *chef's kiss*.

It is so true! I can forgive a lot in a fictional man, murder included, but cheating??? Never. I have literally ended a book, fic, movie or whatever because one of the spouses cheated and then the other one took them back. I don't know but I just can't really forgive it, it makes me feel ewwy.

He would be devastated if she hung up!!!! Yes!!! he would be banging on the screen and the guards try and stop him but he just going crazy cause he was watching the love of his life just leave him, which was his greatest nightmare and the reason he kept robbing and stealing.

I kinda love it when tough guys have insecurities cause it means there are human and are vulnerable like the rest of us. I mean so many male protagonists in media (mainly heroes/superheroes, action guys, tough guys, etc) are only faced with hardships from the external environment and the only time we see men faced with internal battles is related to war, which is still caused by the external environment. I think that sends a twisted message that only men who have been through great trauma (such as war) are allowed to be in mental anguish, that mental illness or insecurities (when men have insecurities in media it is almost always because of scars/loss of limbs, it usually isn't due to weight like it is shown for women) are something that happens to them, and that it is an external force that caused it, and mental health issues that just 'pop up' aren't valid because they don't have a real reason or excuse to feel that way. While mental health issues caused by external trauma are definitely true for veterans who faced combat, when this is the only narrative shown it gives a bad message that other men don't have an excuse to have insecurities or mental health issues. For example, in Australia, a lot of veterans and military personnel who face mental health issues haven't actually seen combat and because of this, their issues are overlooked for not being important and that they should just get over it.

I think the same can be said for this fella. He has (assumingly) grown up in a very masculine environment, so he has been taught that such feelings of insecurities are seen as weakness, why should he complain when there are others worse off?, which is why he buries it and never tells you his insecurities, until its too late, but by having these insecurities and telling you (even if it's behind bars) showcases that he isn't just this 2d criminal character, he doesn't do it for the money, he did it at first because its the only thing he's ever known and it was hard to believe someone like him would be able to overcome that, but when he meets you, its the only way he knows how to get money and he feels like he needs to prove his worth to you, prove he is more than what he was told he was.

I think it also feeds into the old idea that men have to provide for the household, he feels like he isn't a man if he can't do that and therefore desperately tries to provide, I think it would be a point of argument for the reader and him, she never needed all the gifts, it's nice to be given them but at the same time she was falling in love with him, not his money, so she feels like she's been bought when he brings this up like he felt like he was entitled to her presence (he kinda did feel that way).

Once again reader would be questioning all of it, did she actually fall in love with him or the front he puts on for her. Maybe even a small part of her thinks that maybe he only has her around to look the part, a doting father with a loving wife isn't exactly the first suspect for multiple bank robberies. All her own insecurities are rushing through, not only does she have to rethink her relationship with her husband but his family as well, they also lied to her and let her husband keep her in the dark and they never seemed to care or feel guilt.

What would she say to the kids! I imagine the kids to be very young and maybe he won't be in for long, he was only caught planning a bank robbery and they don't have enough evidence to pin him on all the other stuff (how they missed the infamous stolen diamonds reader is wearing is beyond me) so he won't be gone for an "I have to explain" period of time, so yeah I think the reader would lie, maybe say he's going for a trip, or going away from work, either way, she wants him to explain it when they are old enough.

AHHHH! I love our chats as well!!!!!!! They make me so happy! That is so sweet thank you!!!!!! I forgot that not everyone is awake when I am, so sometimes I get a little sad when I post something and its been all day and no one has liked it (I don't do it for the likes! I just recognise some people and it makes me happy to know my mutals like what I write!) and then I wake up and I have over 50 notes :D

(sorry to get psychoanalytic I just find it very interesting! If it was too much please tell me and I can change it! This one was a bit angsty)

Lots of love mae xx

[firewoodwander]

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” + Coreel UwU

The work is important: this is all Mereel can think about.

The work is important. More important than he is, more important than any one of them. They’re making the cure and it’s almost from scratch, and he’ll make it even if he has to work with the demagolka they prison-broke. But, for whatever reason, not everyone seems to share his exact perspective on things.

When he gets back to the house it’s nearly daybreak. The sky outside is lighting and the birds are growing restless in their perches, nocturnal critters safe in their burrows. It’ll be nice to lie down; he’s stiff from hours of travel and many more sitting around in armour. His brothers blame their new discomforts on Kal’buir for letting them get used to the civvie lifestyle, but Mereel’s suffered the poor adjustment every mission he spent in the grim guts of Triple Zero, and he knows it’ll only ache a bit.

“You’re back late again,” says a voice from the ’fresher door. Mereel almost chokes on the skip of his heart as he spins, wrong-footed and surprised.

Corr watches him with mild amusement. He’s not wary, nor surprised himself, but maybe that’s because he’s caught Mereel like this before.

“Didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” he apologises, watching Mereel relax his shoulders and reholster his decee, but he has some edge to his tone (knowing? Resignation?) that Mereel doesn’t quite like.

“Are you keeping track, now?” he asks, drawling and sardonic. “Can’t really help it when the fence doesn’t keep to my schedule, but I can tell them you set me a bedtime.”

“It’s not that.”

Mereel grunts. All he wants is to hit the hay and knock out for a while before he has to sift more data. He doesn’t want to argue, or fight. Least of all with Corr.

Speaking of, his friend seems to be skulking around in the dark. When he steps out into the hall there isn’t a light to switch off, just pre-dawn lighting his face in a fuzzy, far away pale light. When he steps closer Mereel can see the crooked lash that’s fallen to his cheek, and the displeased twist to his mouth that isn’t thanks to the pull from his scarred jaw.

“You work too hard.” It’s said like it’s a bad thing, a sour taste in Corr’s mouth he’s been made to swallow. “Have you considered letting someone else take over, just for a while? So that you can rest before you work yourself into the ground.”

Mereel grunts and shifts his weight. “Like who, Corr?”

“Anyone.”

Corr’s fingers click quietly against one another when he clenches and releases one fist. Mereel’s gaze drops before he can rein himself in, drawing back up slowly but not far enough to meet Corr’s earnest (too earnest) worried expression.

“And what’s it to you all of a sudden?” he grouses. There’s no bite—he doesn’t know if he has any left. Just fatigue, and a sweaty palm he swipes down his face and lets drag over his neglected stubble. “You’ve never taken an interest in chasing spies before.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me,” Corr segues, voice soft. “When you think I won’t notice, I mean.” Mereel opens his mouth to deflect—anything, with anything—but Corr cuts him off. “You won’t let me look back, even now, even though I know you want to. See,” he reaches out and rests his hand on Mereel’s wrist. As if he were under the control of someone else, Mereel feels his throat constrict around a swallow and his body lean forward, magnetised. Corr smiles. “I know you, too. You’re looking after all of us; you can let me look after you when you need it.”

There’s a long, drawn out quiet around them. The house will come alive soon, some of their family waking even sooner. The weight of The silence presses down on them and all Mereel wants is to rest.

He turns the arm in Corr’s hold, taking his hand in a loose, grounding grip.

“Stay with me?” he rasps. He can barely get the words out, forced between his lips by instincts racing seconds steps ahead of his conscious mind. He swallows again once it computes, wants to pull away, slam a door or something—

Corr tightens the grip, pulls him in with just a press of fingers.

“Of course.”

[abbatoirablaze]

Just Like You, Chapter 13

Word count:  1.6k

Warnings:  mentions of cannibalism, implied smut, angst, mentions of cheating. 

“And should I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take.”

“I still don’t think it was necessary that you taught the kids that,” Brendan frowned, looking at Brayden who was tucking himself in his bed.  You bit your lip and shrugged, “we aren’t religious, Faith.”

“The kids in his class taught him it,” you frowned, replying to your boyfriend as you reminded him exactly where your son had learned the prayer, “apparently when you insisted, we send Brayden to the private school you forgot to look into the fact that it was a Catholic school.”

“Mommy…”

“Yes baby?” you asked, turning your attention to your daughter.  She gave you a sleepy grin from her father’s chest, her arms still wrapped around his neck.  You leaned over and brushed some of the hair from her face. 

“I sleep you and daddy…”

Brendan melted at how his little girl nuzzled herself back against his neck.  You were about to tell her no when he answered, “of course you can sleep with me and mommy…”

“I wanna sleep with you and daddy too!” Brayden said seriously as he sat back up from his bed.  He began trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes as he looked between the two of you.  You gave Brendan a frown.

“We’ve talked about this, Bra-“

“But you’re letting her sleep in your bed,” he whined, cutting his father off, “I’m having bad dreams too…”

“Baby boy,” you cooed, unable to tell your son no, “I-“

The conversation stopped when their was a heavy thud downstairs.  Your jaw tensed as you looked at Brendan, “I thought it was going to be a family night tonight…”

“She’s been acting up, honey…you know I can’t control her.”

“Momma…I fix it?”

“No Brayden…mommy will take care of it…”

“Mommy always takes care of it,” he said with a proud smile as he leaned back in his bed.  You smoothed down your son’s hair and nodded, “I love you mommy.”

“I love you too, baby,”  you cooed, pressing a kiss to he top of his head.  Then you looked to Brendan, “can you get her settled?  I’ll take care of-“

“Faith…do you really think you should?” he asked nervously, eyeing your bump.  You sighed and he gave you a look, “you’re six months pregnant, Faith…we-“

“We’re fine,” you reminded him.  Your hand reached out and you stroked his cheek, your thumb grazing over one of the scars from nearly a year ago when you’d saved him.  He leaned against your palm, “I’ll be back up in a few minutes…okay?”

He nodded and you kissed him softly, before heading down the hall and towards the staircase.  Your jaw tightened when you thought about it.

“Hello Ann…”

She froze when she saw you.  Her throat looked like it was closing up with how her mouth opened and closed like a fish opening its mouth for water.  She looked nervously at your hands and saw the still bloody knife. 

The guard’s feet hung out from behind the sofa.  The slightest tinge of red was seeping through the floorboards towards them.

“Is that-“

“He’s dead,” you said, your voice all too calm as she glanced at the blade again, “but you don’t need to worry about him…”

“W-where’s Brendan?” she asked, “th-that girl in the back yard.”

“Don’t worry about Brendan anymore, Ann…he’s not your concern.”

“He’s my husband…”

“You were coming here to sell him out…you were going to hand him over to them…”

“We would never be in this situation if it wasn’t for-“

“For what?” you asked, cutting her off, “for me?  For my lifestyle?  News flash, Ann…Brendan was doing it long before I got involved…if it wasn’t for me, he’d have been caught by now…or dead…your life…all those little things you’ve gotten to enjoy…your fake, perfect little life…it was all because of me.”

“You’re nothing but a whore…” she spat, anger shaking her to her coreb, “a mistress…Brendan would never leave me…especially not for someone like you…”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Ann,” you smirked.  The floorboards creaked beneath his weight.  She turned and was caught in his grasp, the needle plunging into her skin as Brendan emptied the plunger into her bloodstream, “Brendan and I came to terms…we had a little talk.”

“It was never you, Ann,” he said almost apologetically.  Then he looked over to you, a glimmer in his eyes as he admired you, even through his injuries, “it-It was always her…Faith just-sh-she gets me.”

“Don’t worry, Ann…we have plans for you…” you whispered as Brendan removed the needle and let her body hit the floor.  Brendan watched you as you stared at her unconscious body.  You bit your lip. 

“Let me get her…you take care of the baby…” he said softly, his lips brushing over your shoulder, “I have L-“

“You left her alone in our room?”

He chuckled and nodded, “she’s cuddled up with her stuffed bunny, waiting for us…I told her I was checking on you.”

“Go back upstairs,” you sighed softly, stroking his cheek once again, “I-I’ll take care of her.”

“Shouldn’t be lifting anything heavy,” he reminded you as his hands stroked your stomach, “don’t want a repeat of when you went into labor with our first little girl.”

“I’ll be fine, Bren…”

He kissed your temple and took a step forward, pressing himself past you and down the stairs.  You closed the door, being sure to run your hand over the lock, making sure to punch in the code so that it wouldn’t open unless you typed it in again. 

When you reached the bottom of the stairs, Brendan was already pushing through the doors of his operating suite.  You were quick to follow him, and you weren’t at all surprised to see Ann glaring at you as you entered. 

You smiled, “I thought we told you that tonight was family night…you interrupted us putting the kids to bed…”

She gave a muffled growl, to which you pulled the gag from her mouth.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH-“

“I think what you meant to say is thank you…”

“They’ll come after you…they-“

“They accepted our offer right away, Ann…” you reminded her, “when they found out I killed that ogre they sent with you…when I agreed to burn the house to the ground…they wanted someone else they could train instead…we gave them two…”

Her eyes shot to Brendan’s, “you didn’t.”

Brendan looked away from her for a moment, and over to his wall, where a picture sat of both of their sons.  The leader of the group was posing with them, a smile on his face. 

“They’re being treated well, Ann.”

“YOU BASTARD!” she cursed, “THE-“

“We forged the paperwork…it looks like you and Brendan died in the fire…he’s their…grandfather…” you said delicately as you placed the gag back in her mouth after putting the side that would go into her mouth in a sedative blend.  You patted her shoulder delicately, “I know what it’s like…being a mother…you just want the best for your kids…he gives Brendan updates.  That picture…only a month old…don’t they look happy?”

She went to speak again, but the gag caught her, the sedative starting to get into her system.  Her eyes widened at the trick, and her hands jolted against the restraint.  That’s when Brendan noticed a tank that was knocked over, and undoubtedly the sound that the two of you managed to hear from upstairs. 

“You left a tank near her?”

“I didn’t think she’d be able to reach it,” he shrugged, moving it away from her.  You looked at the woman strapped to his table, “don’t worry…tomorrow is Saturday…and we’ve got an order to take away her other arm…so, Brayden will get some practice…”

You smiled gently at him as he walked over to you.  You wrapped your arms around his neck, “aww…taking baby bear to work, daddy?”

He gave a husky growl as his arms wrapped around your waist, “god I love it when you talk like that…”

You shot him a wink as you pulled away from him, “sorry…you invited one of the baby bears to bed…you’re not getting laid tonight.”

But his arms were quick to wrap around you from behind.  He pulled you tight against his chest, “mmm…we’ve got all the space we need down here…”

You shot a look to him over your shoulder, surprised that he was insisting on taking you in front of his wife.  Your eyes went to hers, and it was obvious that she was barely there.

“Brendan…”

“She won’t even notice,” he muttered softly, “she’ll be out before I have myself buried in you…”

“B-But Brendan…”

“I can’t keep my hands off you when you’re like this, Faith…you know that…”

You felt your stomach tighten as his hands trailed from your waist to your hips, and finally when one slid over your mound and gently began rubbing you over your clothes, “w-we shouldn’t.”

“We should,” he whispered softly, nibbling on your ear, “let me take you here, Faith…let me make love to you the way you deserve, baby…let me show you how much I love you…”

“I know how much you love me, Brendan…”

“Of course you do,” he whispered gently, “I’m just like you…I know what you need…I know your desires…your fantasies…let me complete this one.”

Your eyes went to Ann’s, and you saw a look of pure hate as she watched her husband touch you.  You felt a sick smile curling on your lip as you nodded, your head nuzzling his as you kept maintaining eye contact with her, “take me, Brendan.”

Tag list @manyoulookingood, @lohnes16, @blueeberryyy,  @elbell20-blog

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in December 😏 2022 - Taurus

Whole of their energy towards Taurus: The Fool

You’re dealing with a player, and not just any player but a married one. They have married and other half in their messages, both, how - only you would know. It could be you’re married to this person, or were, and they can’t let you go, or don’t want to. They could be married to someone else, or were. Knight of Wands rev kept wanting to pop out with each shuffle, so he’s here showing once a player always a player, you can’t pin your hopes on this person and you probably know it. The Fool is them wanting to take some leap of faith with you towards fixing this, because they’re sad about the last time they left. How many times have they left? Probably more than once, this Knight rev is the most unreliable “here for a good time not a long time” kind of person. You deserve better.

Feelings: The Devil

They’re absolutely obsessed with you, and a new beginning with you. Especially in regards to intimacy and getting you into bed, and if you’ve got money they’re into that too. They’re older than you, going by your cards, but come up as a Knight. You both could be really young with that energy, or this person is just immature as hell. They obsess over another chance and working this out with you.

Intentions: 8 Swords

They intended on not telling you about leaving, manifesting a new life where they were focused on themselves financially and independent from you. They may be intending to block you from doing this, being single, if you’re already together-ish. With The Devil here this can be an energy of entrapment. Be careful with this one.

Actions: Page of Cups

They’re coming in gently, some good morning, how have you been? Sort of message. Something soft, friendly, kind, just to open the door. They’re in two minds whether their plan is going to work out with you, and they probably question how committed to their obsessions they even are as well. This Knight has appeared in every row, but didn’t come out until the end. They’ve not changed at all 💯

In the case this isn’t romantic, then either this person is an obsessive workaholic or sees you as one, maybe you both are. They still obsess, and want to make this work out. They’re still unreliable and full of bologna.

Messages:

Their side:

- Married

- Other Half

Your side:

- Confusion

- Younger man/woman

Possible signs:

Gemini & Virgo both very heavy

If you’re dealing with:

Knight of Wands upright…interesting. These may be people that you know through this person, or are aware of what’s been going on with the two of you. These may be a number of people that are in and out of your lives sporadically, for the holidays, and then it’s back to the normal every day. You may be the one popping in on other people and leaving as well.

Aries - a very emotional family member, but one that is very happy, may need help taking care of themselves but isn’t saying so

Taurus - beautiful relationship, equal give and take and reciprocated love, giving gifts you love or because they love you & vice versa

Gemini - completely transparent with you and is happy to celebrate together

Cancer - could be a parent or authority figure, this person is old fashioned and has a lot of rules, very committed to their lifestyle

Leo - heartbroken but trying to be logical about it, could be because of a King of Swords, or they’re just telling you about this in a way that’s detached & just the facts, “not a big deal”, but actually it is a big deal, they’re hurt

Virgo - sweet or romantic gestures are a heavy burden on them…wut, idk, maybe you know

Libra - could be seeing a doctor or taking action towards health related things, or could be going on a much needed vacation

Scorpio - emotionally gushing over you and how things have changed over time, very mushy, letting it all out (feels positive)

Sagittarius - could have changed something noticeable about their looks, their hair, weight, style, etc. Also could have some amazing growth opportunity they’re jumping into, maybe at work

Capricorn - possibly moving homes, having to repair their home or is selling a home, if so it’s already a done deal with a positive outcome

Aquarius - not speaking because they’re pissed off & snappy, or they’re not feeling confident and are hard on themselves, or you are with them

Pisces - has anxiety and fear because they don’t want whatever this is to end, if it’s over they may feel it’s not really over…being kinda delusional, but it’s over. Could have intense separation anxiety or something like that.