#you dont need to read all this i just started writing and couldnt stop

[godsfavoritescientist]

Building off of what I wrote in my fic "Sparks," I'm really compelled by the idea of Ford genuinely no longer being interested in sailing around in a boat with Stan by the time they were seniors in high school.

I like the idea of it not being just a symptom of the resentment that had been building between them, nor it being a dream of Ford's that only paled in comparison to west coast tech, but it being a genuine loss of interest on Ford's end. I think it complicates things even further in some really juicy ways.

Like, imagine going through high school slowly losing more and more interest in the dream you've shared with your twin and only friend ever since you were little kids. How do you break it to him? How do you explain it to him without making it sound like a rejection of him? Without it making him hate you?

How do you explain it without it feeling like a spit in the face to all the hard work he's put into a plan that started out as a way of him comforting you by telling you "it doesn't matter what people say about you, you're going to be an adventurer who sails away into the sunset and never has to hear their mockery ever again, and there will be babes and treasure and heroism, and then they'll all see how cool you really are!"

And all through high school you think to yourself, "he's going to move on to more realistic dreams any day now, and then I won't have to say anything about it!" But no matter how many times you mention something else he could do with his life that he seems interested in, or bring up the challenging logistics of traveling around long-term in a boat, he sounds just as committed to the childhood dream as ever, and completely oblivious to how apprehensive you sound.

So resentment grows, little by little. Because that's easier than confronting the soul-crushing levels of guilt that are building up inside of you, every time you don't take an opportunity to tell him you don't want to do the plan anymore. You don't have a single person in your life who modeled how to have difficult conversations for you. As far as you know, having this conversation with Stan would crush him into tiny little pieces and then he would hate you forever, and you can't stand the idea of losing the only friend you've ever had.

So tensions grow. A lack of interest turns into a bitter resentment that, if you were really being honest with yourself, is directed more at yourself than it is at Stan.

And then the falling-out happens, and it seems like you were proven right. Stan hates you now, and he's never going to forgive you for giving up on his dream. But two can play that game, so you try to hate him too. Because if you hate him too, then maybe it won't hurt as much that he never came back. That he never even turned up at school, or by the boat, or in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. He knows what dad's like, and how he says impulsive exaggerated things when he's angry, and haven't you both dealt with his harsh words countless times before and been able to dust yourselves off and joke about it later? So why isn't he back at home, joking with you about how absurd your dad acted that night, being impossible and belligerent about ruining your dream, but at least now you're even, because you've ruined his dream too.

-

And now imagine you find out he risked the lives of everyone in existence to bring you back, right after you had accepted your fate was to die killing Bill. It would be terrifying and confusing and infuriating. If he cared so much, why didn't he do something to reconnect with you sooner? Why did he ignore you in favor of trying to make it big without you? Why didn't he take the infinitely safer and simpler action of reaching out to you without you having to track down his address and send a desperate plea for help? You were convinced that he didn't care enough to bother with you unless you had an important enough reason for him to come. But even then, he thought your plans were stupid. He didn't want anything to do with you, not even with the world at stake.

Did he save your life out of guilt? Does he pity you that much? It doesn't add up with what he did in the decade leading up to shoving you into the portal. And the dissonance between the version of him in your head that hates you, and the man who held out his arms to welcome you back to your home dimension, is so strong that you feel like you're being lied to again, like you're back in the depths of gaslighting and manipulation that Bill put you through, even though there's no way that's what Stan is trying to do... right? You can't figure it out, so you run away from it. You don't want to know the answer to whether or not Stan hates you, because you don't know which answer would hurt more, so you try to make him hate you more than ever, because at least then you would know for sure how he feels.

And in the end, after he sacrifices his memories for you, and for the world, things seem clearer. The layers upon layers of confusion and anger and hurt seem to have washed away like drawings in the sand, leaving behind the simple truth: that you two had an argument, and didn't move past it for forty years, and despite everything you put each other through, you both still want to re-connect.

So you sail away in a boat together.

And at first, it's wonderful. It's exactly what you want. It feels like an apology to Stan, and a thank-you for saving the world, and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the rift between you two, and it's good to be back on earth, and you wonder why you ever doubted the dream you two once had.

But then, after the first long journey you spend on the sea together, when you get back home to dry land, Stan is already talking about planning your next adventure out on the open sea. He recaps every adventure you had on the first trip, over and over again, and he wants to chat with you all through the morning and long into the night, and you don't have the words to explain to yourself that you don't have enough social battery for this, and suddenly you're slipping back into the horrifyingly familiar feeling of Stan being overbearing and needing space from him and how could you think that? How could you think that about him after everything he's done for you and everything he's forgiven you for? But the longer this goes on, the more you realize that you still don't want to spend the rest of your life sailing around with Stan. It's great fun in moderation, but the idea of your whole life revolving around Stan and going on adventures with Stan and being in a boat with Stan with no time to be by yourself thinking about your own things and figuring out your own dreams makes your skin crawl with a claustrophobic kind of panic that you still don't know how to put into words forty years after the first time this feeling grabbed you by the throat and ruined your friendship with Stanley.

But the first time this happened, it nearly ruined his life forever. You can't let yourself feel this. You don't feel this. You're happy to spend the rest of your life fulfilling Stan's lifelong dream, and making up for the time you crushed his dream, and sure, maybe he crushed your dream once too, and maybe it would be nice for him to support your dreams like you're now doing for him, but you can't say that. He saved the universe, and it would be horrible and ungrateful and cruel for you to try to voice these feelings, especially when you don't know how to voice your feelings without it making other people feel like you twisted a knife into their gut. So you try to pretend the feeling isn't there.

You go out on a boat with Stan again. You planned out another incredible journey together, and this should be fun, and you should be happy about this, but the unspoken feeling you shoved as far down in yourself as it could possibly go is eating you alive. The worst part? Stan is starting to notice. You have never been good at hiding your emotions. The trick to it has always been to convince yourself you don't feel it at all, and not think about it, and that has always worked like a charm. But whenever the emotion claws its way back up to the forefront of your mind, you can tell Stan knows something is wrong. So you can't even give him the happy ending he deserves. You can't even convince him that you want to be here on the open seas forever with him, like he deserves. And you keep trying and trying to hide it, but Stan keeps asking in roundabout ways, like "You're being awfully quiet, sixer," and "whats that look on your face?" and eventually it comes exploding out of you like a shaken-up soda bottle dropped on its cap.

And then it's like you're back at home in New Jersey again, standing in the living room while dad grabs Stanley by the shirt. It all comes pouring out of you, in the worst possible way, with the worst possible phrasing, like a pandora's box of monstrousness, and Stan tries to fight back against the sting of your words, but you're made out of acid and you're burning through him and you can see it on his face, and there's never any coming back from this, not this time, you'll just have to either jump into the ocean or become a monster forever, so Stan can hate you more easily again, and-

-and at the end of the outburst, you're still on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with your brother, in dangerous waters, and you have things to do to keep the boat running smoothly.

You can't run away from him. He can't run away from you. You're stuck here for at least a couple more weeks, even if you turned around and sailed back towards shore right away.

-

And the thing that compels me so much here, despite how unbelievably angsty it all is, is that it sets up a situation wherein the Stans might end up forced to actually address the decades of resentment and confusion and wanting-to-reconnect-throughout-it-all that they thought they could gloss over and heal with enough time spent adventuring together on a boat. They might end up forced to actually address the crux of the issue that drove them apart in the first place: Ford wanting a little more space to feel like his own person, and to feel like he's able to have his own dreams, too.

It wouldn't happen easily, nor right away, but if they were stuck together on a little boat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by magical creatures they have to protect each other from in order to make it back home alive, then after they had one fight where they brought up all the things they silently agreed to never bring up again, it would probably happen many more times, and each time it would leave them both angrier at each other than ever, until eventually something honest slipped through amidst all the saying-anything-except-what-they-mean bickering. And once enough of these honest moments slipped through, then they would have a thread to tug on to start to unravel the gargantuan knot of their decades of unresolved conflicts.

And then, eventually, maybe Stan could learn that he can have a good friendship with his brother without needing to be glued to him at the hip, and Ford needing a certain amount of alone time doesn't mean he dislikes him or wants to abandon him, and Ford could learn that he can be honest and have a meaningful connection with someone without it driving them away and making them hate him.

[fanaticbitchhh]

unfortunate

jj maybank x reader

warnings: nervous!reader, forced proximity kinda?? shitty rushed writing, swearing, it drags on a little sorry!

NOT PROOF READ!!

the pogues had decided to go on a little trip, after the horrific events of the gold and the drama inbetween, you all figured you deserved it. it was mainly you and kiara that planned it, you two were the only two who had even gone camping before. besides, you used to do girls brigade, you knew a thing or two.

a long twinkie ride, 4 gas station stops, and one instance of being pulled over was all it took to get to the campsite. it was beautiful, truly. it was surrounded by a few mountains and the woods, you'd definitely do some exploring in the later days. you could hear the faint sounds of water running, definitely a river around, maybe a waterfall if you were lucky.

you had packed with kiara, cleo, and sarah. you definitely had gotten sidetracked more than once. kiara insisted on having her own tent, she enjoyed the space. pope and cleo were obviously coupled up so they'd sleep in a tent together, the same went for john b and sarah. that left you and jj, which you decided to share.

you helped the blonde boy set the tent up, and after a lot of failure and laughs, you finally got it up. you made one last walk around the tent to make sure all the pegs were put in the ground properly. then you got your bag out of the twinkie, you didnt pack much, just clothes and swimsuits. you never knew when a swimming opportunity would show up.

john b had been preparing dinner for us, with the help of sarah so he wouldnt burn it. so you made your way outside to the others, grabbing a plate. you ate the food, complimenting the couple on their cooking skills (it was mainly sarah that cooked it). the others made jokes and laughed while they ate, you chimed in occasionally but you were mainly focused on finishing the food.

when you all finished your food, you started a fire. roasting marshmallows, making smores. anything you could think of really. you made conversation, mainly talking about the fun times in our friendships. it was nice, you really enjoyed it.

it was late at night when you realized it. your phone torch on, searching around your camp area. fuck, you thought. you forgot your goddamn sleeping bag. so much for girls brigade. jj looked at you in confusion, what the fuck were you looking for? you could practically hear his confused thoughts.

"i left my fucking sleeping bag back at the chateau." you huff, annoyed at yourself for your stupidity.

"seriously? out of everything you could've forgotten, you forget one of the most important things?! that's just unfortunate." he laughs heartily.

"yeah, get it all out of your system. so funny." you frown, he always found your misfortune funny.

he'd always try and help out though, that was what best friends were for.

"where the hell am i gonna sleep?" you groan, rubbing your face in frustration.

"we can always share mine?" he proposes.

"huh?" you ask, dumbfounded with your jaw a little slack.

he placed two fingers under your jaw and shut it. "dont wanna catch flies now, do ya cupcake?"

you could hear the smirk on his face, you wouldn't even need to look at him to know he was smirking.

"uh i-i guess we could share." you shrug, trying to act nonchalant.

it didnt work very well, your face felt a little hotter than normal and you coukd guarantee you were as red as a tomato. he unzips his sleeping bag, beckoning you over. you join him with a bright blush on your face, resting your head on the pillow he brought with.

"comfy?" he asked.

you nod in response, afraid your voice would betray your excitement. when you finally composed yourself, you spoke.

"thank you, by the way, for sharing the sleeping bag.." you smile shyly.

"'course, couldnt let ya sleep on the cold hard floor. that's no way to treat a pretty girl." he knew exactly what he was doing.

it was safe to say, when you came out of the tent the next morning you were quite literally ambushed with teasing. you and jj both seemed to forget that you could still hear through a tent. whoops?

[kichikichiko]

Hello! I hope you're having a good time,I would like to request Kazuha and scaramouche with a gender neutral reader Who almost died protecting them?

If you don't feel comfortable doing this, don't do it. Thank you so much!

Don't you dare leave me!

HELLO HI EVERYONE! HAPPY (BELATED) NEW YEARS! 😻😻😻🌟🌟🌟

I've had this request in my ask box for MONTHS and Ive planned to write it when I got it but ykkkk life happens.

Ty Anon for sending this in and sorry it took me this long to write your request 💔

Synopsis: How your partner would react to when you risk your life to save them.

Pairing: Kazuha x Gn! Reader and Scara x Gn! Reader

Cw: Semi proof-read, Fluff, headcanon, slight blood mention, cursing for Scara, Established relationship (Kazuha), kiss at the end (Scara)

──────•❥❥❥•──────

KAEDEHARA KAZUHA ¤ Scarlet leaves pursue wild waves

It was around the time the Raiden Shogun declared the vision hunting decree, and right after Kazuha's dear friend Tomo passed trying to withsand the musou no hitotachi.

You were away for training with your teacher. And as you walked home you heard of the commotion on the streets

"That guy died from the Shogun's strike" "what was he thinking?! He is obviously no match for the Shogun"

Hearing all of the whispers made you a little worried. And something told you that it was terrible news. What if that was someone you knew personally?

Assuring yourself that it's probably just some stupid samurai off the streets is what you did. Trying to block out all the whisperd and worries of the city folk.

Until you heard his name from a group of people talking about what just happened. "...Kaedehara...."

Your boyfriend who you haven't seen since this morning. You stopped on your tracks and turned around hoping you heard that wrong.

"What did you say?"

"Pardon?" The person asked.

"The name." You repeated "the name you mentioned before, what was it again?"

"Kaedehara. Kaedehara Kazuha?" The person said confused by your expression growing more and more distraught by the second

"What happened to him? Did he..." you couldnt even get yourself to finish that sentence. You didnt want to believe that HE was the one who challenged the Raiden Shogun

"No dont worry (miss/sir) it's not him who died. Its another guy, but Kaedehara was seen on the scene taking the dead vision and running off. From what I've heard he's running away right now"

Without wasting another second you booked it to the nearest port. You had no idea if he was going to be there as he escaped but it's worth the shot anyways.

Panting and gasping through the bamboo forest while thinking about the fate of your boyfriend isn't the best combination.

"What if he got caught?" "What if he already left?" "What if that stranger was mistaken?" The what if questions were not helping you at all.

So all you did was to hope. Hope that he is still alive, hope that he is still in Inazuma

Your legs were killing you and your lungs feel like they're about to explode if you don't stop running. But you can't

You need to see Kazuha.

As if the Archon's heard your prayers, all of a sudden you hear a guard shouting in a distance "Kaedehara Kazuha you're under arrest under the vision hunting decree!"

"It's him! He's still here!" Relieved he hasn't made it out of Inazuma yet, you started running even faster to the scene.

When you got there you saw Kazuha fighting a bunch of the Shogun's guards left and right. "Kazuha!" You shouted out in relief, as you drew out your katana (sword) and began helping him fight.

You bear no vision, but the adrenaline was pumping into your veins you didnt give a second thought and dove into the fight.

"(Name)??" Kazuha turned around to look at you for a split second. Honestly if it werent for the current condition youre both in, he'd hug you real tight

"How did you find me?" He asked before turning his head around and defend himself from the guards.

"I heard from the city folks hat you ran away after a man died from the musou no hitotachi" you responded, blocking a strike from another guard.

He made a mental note to explain to you the story after the fight is over.

Speaking of which, the fight lasted for quite sometime until all of the shogun's minions were down.

You turned around and hugged Kazuha, throwing your weapon onto the ground.

"I'm so glad youre safe Kaz" you burried your bead into his shoulder, still panting from all that fighting, adrenaline and running.

Kazuha was panting as well, hugging you tighter like never before and kissed your forehead softly "Me too (name), I'm so sorry I didn't come to you sooner and told you anything. Everything happened so fast, I had to leave before I got caught."

You pulled away from the hug and smiled at him softly, your breathing becoming more stable after a while "That's alright, I found you just in time-"

Something was moving behind Kazuha and you couldn't make it what it was until you could.

It was the Shogun's guard again, with a bow and arrow... aimed at Kazuha's back. Your heart dropped

before the guard should release the arrow you pushed Kazuha away and took the hit.

The arrow ended up piercing your shoulder which earned a shout from you. It hurted like hell and blood started flowing out of your shoulder by the minute.

At first you felt dizzy from the blood loss and then everything went dark. You were going in and out, Before you blacked out completely, the first time you saw Kazuha charging up to the guard and fought him. The next time you saw him picking you up bridal style

And the last thing you heard was " (name) Don't you dare leave me!"

♤

The first thing you saw when you woke up was a wooden ceiling above you. "Where am I?" You sat up and hissed from the pain on your shoulder. You took a look at thr soirce of the pain and to your surprise, the wounded area had been wrapped with a compression bandage.

Looking around at the area you realised you ended up on a ship. But how?

Before you could ask more questions, the door in front of you opened, and standing there was Kazuha. The man saw that you were awake and sped walk towards you.

"You're awake! Thank goodness. Don't worry everythings alright. We're on a ship of a pirate captain from Liyue and she got her crew to help stop the bleeding on your shoulder."

Ah, he basically just answered the questions that were popping up in your head. "Looks like we'll have to thank this pirate captain for her hospitality"

You looked at the current condition of your lover. His shoulders were tense and his lips forced into a small smile.

You could tell it was so that you wouldn't be alarmed. And you could tell he was still shaken up by the stunt you pulled earlier.

"I'm sorry my love, for scaring you like that." Placing your hand on his shoulder, then slowly making your way up to his cheek. "I'm safe, youre safe. That's all that matters."

You could see his eyes softening and his shoulders becoming less tense

"Youre right... youre right. You just got me worried back there. I was afraid I might lose you too." He whispered softly, cupping his hand over your hand.

Subconciously he gripped your hand hard enough to make you notice but not hard enough to hurt you.

He didn't have to elaborate any further for you to realise that his dear friend was the one who died.

"I won't leave you here alone dear. That's a promise." pulling him into a hug, which he reciprocated quickly

"What now?" Is a question you both will figure out later.

Right now, the only thing that matters is the two of you.

SCARAMOUCHE/ KUNIKUZUSHI ¤ The Balladeer

Being the Balladeer's assistant was no easy job

Literally.

Having to deal with his yelling, degration, mocks, (tantrums) and bad temper required patience. Lots of it

But no matter how many times he left you out in the snow to freeze, or mocked you in front of everyone, you stayed by him. Honestly no one understood how and why (and neither did Scara but he would never question it)

Partially because the pay is good (the harbingers decided to pay you extra because youre dealing with Scaramouche), partially because you don't get treated as half as bad as his subordinates and because sometimes he isn't so bad in general.

What I mean by "not so bad" is that sometimes, barely, but once in a blue moon. He shows that he cares and appreciates your help and loyalty.

When he was sent out on a mission to Inazuma, you couldn't come to help him due to unfortunate circumstances. He was pissed to say the least

surprisingly not at you but at the higher ups for not allowing you, his assistant to come

he brought you a souvenier from Inazuma. Nothing much and nothing grand, but it is something from your boss so you treasure it.

Another time you got sick with the flu, at first he was pissed (when is he not 💀🖕) but then at night, he came over to give you some soup

By the Balladeer's words it is to "Make you get better soon so you can work again. I can't manage all this shit by myself"

Which you translated it to "I miss your company and I need your help with my tasks"

Either way you appreciated his kindness.

♤

Scaramouche and you were sent out on a mission together to the chasm. Usually they wouldn't send the harbingers down there, but an important relic from an unknown lost civilization was found, and the fatui wants to study it.

As the 2 of you were down there, all you (other than trying to find the relic) did was listen to his occasional rants and curses to the other harbingers for sending him on this mission.

"Annoyed as always" you rolled your eyes.

When the relic was found and secured safely, the two of you nodded at each other as a sign that you both should head out as soon as possible

Luckily Scaramouche and you didn't run into any enemies which was....

"Strange" you mumbled to yourself, brows furrowed and eyeing the caves

"What is?" taking a glance behind to look at you as he was right in front of you

"It's just that we haven't bumped into any monsters or enemies during our time here." You started

"There's always enemies down here at the chasm"

Scaramouche shrugged at you "Maybe theyre taking a nice long nap, or maybe they know their place and not to mess with us." He was half sarcastic and half serious. Either way, he wasn't bothered by this at all

You nodded at him. Not necessarily because you agree with him

But mainly because you're quite unsettled about the whole situation to the point where you'd just hope he was right

Something must be wrong with the universe because not long after, a mob of hillichurls showed up

Scaramouche groaned, getting ready to fight "Great you jinxed it."

They were just a bunch of hillichurls so it really didn't take long for Scara to handle it while you guard the relic

"Let's just get out of here before I have to deal with those i-" before your boss could finish his sentence an abyss herald showed up

When it showed up, you drew out your weapon getting ready to fight. He was no easy foe and even if you knew Scara could handle it...

Something was telling you thing's were about to go south.

You and him started fighting the Abyss enemy

Scara with his electro powers and you with your (vision of choice)

"Hey (name) fuck off I can handle this myself you know?!" He shouted at you

"No you can't Scaramouche!" You retaliated, not listening to another word he says because you were getting more and more pissed by his antics "Just shut up and let me help!"

With the way you disobeyed his orders AND talk back at him got him taken aback and angry at you

"Why this little bitch!" He wanted to say

Scara just gave the abyss herald an opening to launch an attack at him

"Scara watch out!" Luckily you saw right on time and threw yourself in front of Scara to protect him

The attack was so bad you started coughing out blood from the impact. Everything started to become blurry and you lost your balance and strength, dropping your weapon in the process

Before you blacked out you heard Scara scream out something you couldn't quite make out and then... total darkness.

♤

"Don't you dare leave me here!" Echoed in your mind before you awoke in a bed in a strange place. This wasn't Snezhnaya and you know it.

"Where am I? And who said that sentence when I was asleep?" You asked yourself, slowly sitting up from the bed with a groan.

The door on your right opened and in came your boss

"Scara..!" You managed to say. Your voice came out soft and sort of like a wheeze. The impact of the attack seemed to affect your ability to talk as well

"Shh. Don't talk. The doctor said your vocal cord needs rest." Making his way to your bed, and sat by the edge

You closed your mouth but it was clear you had many questions. Scara frowed a little but started answering the questions he knows you'll anyways

"We're still in Liyue. I managed to carry you out of the chasm and the relic I handed off to some fatui members I saw on the way to the doctor.... and you've been out for 3 days now. I was..." he paused and looked away

"Starting to get worried." You didn't have to see his face to know that his expression softened.

Now it all makes sense, you now know what Scara said before you blacked out.

"Don't you dare leave me here!" It was also the sentence that echoed in your mind while you were asleep.

You knew long ago that the all so scary Balladeer had developed feelings for you. It was the little things he did for you that made you question but today, this whole incident made it clear to you that the 6th Fatui Harbinger harbours feelings for his assistant.

You did as well of course. Even though he was a pain in the ass sometimes, it feels as if no one understand you more than he does, and likewise.

Scooting closer to the harbinger, you brought your hand up to his cheek and made him face you.

He saw your expression and even though you said nothing, he knew what you meant. "I'm not leaving you here."

You both slowly moved closer and kissed each other, removing all the tension in the balladeers shoulder.

──────•❥❥❥•──────

Request

Masterlist here!

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup

(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))

Ponyboy

Reading or writing.

How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart

He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in

if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window

he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.

I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.

He‘d write the most heart breaking

tear dripping

heavy breathing sad poetry ever.

show him a romance novel.

he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.

just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.

so he reads.

Johnny

if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.

he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.

in all honesty

i think he‘d be artistic with it

he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you

whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.

he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.

he would be an artist.

hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.

might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.

ps you obviously do.

Dallas

Doesn’t know how.

All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.

being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,

but every path leads back to what he knows best.

he would smoke more,

party more,

drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.

people may see him as this

uhh

violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man

but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug

a kid that needed to be loved.

a kid that was never taught how to be loved.

Adelaide

crier.

she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.

she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.

she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.

the curtis boys would

PERSONALLY

kill you if anything happened to her

one heartbreak and shes done for

love? whats that? it isnt real?

dont hurt her no matter what.

she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).

adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.

Sodapop

working.

soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot

but the only thing that really helped was work.

he’d probably get a raise

yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.

his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself

and guess what.

he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.

i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it

he would only ever listen to the radio

hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice

Darrell

probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs

he wld obviously be heart broken

but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.

he would probably meditate.

i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd

or meditate.

as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and

well.

relax.

he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together

the others are jealous as fuuuuck

Steve

bro wouldnt eat.

every time he thought about the breakup

he thought it was because he was strong enough

or that he was too chubby for his girl.

one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad

they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth

eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”

but then in all seriousness

he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house

even if he says he ate.

theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out

Two-Bit

drinking.

do i have to explain.

in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…

but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.

(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)

along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic

he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.

his buddies would think its just your average keith

but in all reality he’s really struggling

even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy

HE IS HURTTT.

okay thanks for watching todays vlog

if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.

[normanplusdaryl]

Back to black.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Era: Season 9

Word count: 2.5k

Plot: Daryl comes home after many years to face the consequences of his actions.

Warnings: ANGST, pure ANGST!

A/N: I've been wanting to write this shared idea I had with @finalgirlrick for a while now, I hope I can break your heart (affectionate).

@weretheones I couldnt done it without u, like always! Ily <3

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daryl was in pain and he knew it.

He tried to ignore the pang running through the wound for several days but the burning sensation wouldn't cave in and the medical herbs were not being really helpful. 

Deep down he knew he needed help but somehow the idea of coming back to Alexandria stung more than the freshly cut on his face. 

The river flowed quiet and calm, leaving barely any trace of the storm that crashed hard the day before. With one knee on the ground, Daryl watched the water following the trail while contemplating his options. 

It’s been so long since he visited Alexandria. 

When he decided to follow the river in hopes to find Rick’s body he never thought it would take so long, until days, weeks and months passed by.  But he couldn't stop, the promise he made to Michonne drove his body incessantly. 

He would never admit it, but there were moments when a small part of his heart hoped the reason why he couldn't find a trace was because his brother was alive.

After many years, that hope slowly started to fade away. Every day became harsher, colder, more dangerous. Sometimes he just survived for instinct, not because he really wanted to.

Days like this were tougher, he could deal with some injury across his face but he wasn't sure how devastating it would be for him to come back home and face everything he left behind to pursue something he wasn't successfully accomplishing. 

He never let his mind ramble too much about what was going on back in Alexandria, he knew if he thought about it too much he wouldn't be able to resist dropping everything to go home, to Michonne, to Judith and RJ, to you.

The first years you visited him constantly, bringing food, blankets, fresh clothes or even weapons, anything that could help him out in the woods, trying to be close to him.

Still, that meant you were exposing yourself to the dangers of the path along the river. 

He knew you were capable of handling yourself out in the open but Daryl couldn't bear the thought of you being in danger trying to find him. This was his task and no one should suffer with him the consequences of his decision, especially you.

“It’s been years, Daryl, you need to take at least a break, come back home, we can think of a new strategy, maybe this time I could come with you and…”

“Just stop” Daryl spoke in a growl without letting you finish. —“Ya shouldn't be here”.

You sighed, you knew you were pushing some dangerous buttons but after so many times of the same conversation over and over, you needed to make sure he heard you.

“I understand Daryl, I really do, but we need you too, I need you.” you begged.

Daryl’s gaze was glued to the ground, paralyzed with the fear of catching your eyes, he knew if he looked at you nothing would stop him from finally hearing your pleas.

“I talked to Michonne, you know? and she isn't expecting you to fulfill the promise, she just wants you back home, we all do” you continued.

Usually, you could read him like a book but right now, you couldn't point out what was going through his mind.

“I… I…  dont think Rick would’ve wanted to see you like this either, Daryl”.

Daryl’s head snapped towards you. His face carried a trace of anger and sadness. 

“I’m never gonna stop looking” he finally said, his tone of voice lower than usual  — “This stops now, I never asked ya to be here”

The feeling of a thousand needles pinching through your body washed you over. You blinked twice, as fast as you could, trying to swipe away the tears that were forming in the corners of your eyes.

It took two long deep breaths for you to finally be able to speak.

“What does that mean Daryl?” you said almost in a whisper, afraid of an answer you already knew. 

Hell, you knew it from the moment that bridge exploded, your legs ran towards Daryl so fast to the sound of the dynamite invading the forest, by the time you got there the flames started to fade away, giving space to dark a fume that took over the sky. 

Your eyes searched everywhere for Daryl until you spotted him a few miles away, crossbow in hand. You yelled his name, twice, and when he finally turned to you, you knew, you could see it in his eyes, devastation consuming his body. Nothing would ever be the same from that moment but you loved him enough to fight and delay the inevitable for years, clinging to a hope that now was slipping right between your fingers.

Daryl took a step back, breaking your thoughts. He paced back and forward trying to gather the courage to speak.

“It means ya need to move on like I did” Daryl’s voice echoed in the silence of the quiet woods.

Daryl closed his eyes to the memory and sighed, that was the last time he saw you.

The way your face contorted with pain when he pronounced those words haunted his dreams almost every night. He knew he hurt you, and he regretted it everyday for the last couple of years.

Sometimes, he wondered if you could forgive him, maybe if he came back home and explained to you he never meant that, you’d take him into your arms like all those nights in the tiny basement of your house in Alexandria. 

His skin was burning, but inside his veins felt loaded with ice, making him shiver.

That wasn't a good sign. The fever was rising fast, shit, there wasn't another option, he needed to go now before he was too weak to make the ride. 

-

The guards of the guard tower recognized him immediately, the sound of the angry motor was something hard to ignore. “It's Daryl, let him in!” someone yelled from the inside.

Daryl drove through the gates giving them a thankful nod. Alexandria was different from the last time he was there, the community was thriving under Michonne’s leadership, they were not taking any new members for a long time now but still it felt bigger than usual. 

 “I thought I heard a bike” Aaron approached as soon as the doors closed behind him, extending his arms to give him a big hug.

“It’s been a while” Daryl squeezed his friend’s arm in response.

“It shouldn't be, this is your home too” Aaron gave him a sympathetic smile.

Home He might be back to the place he once called home but he knew the meaning of the term was gone the day he lost you.

“Jesus Daryl, that looks infected” Aaron broke the silence pointing to Daryl’s cut across his face.

“S’ not that bad” Daryl said as he shrugged.

Aaron’s expression changed as soon as he understood the reason behind his sudden visit, tension slowly invading his features.

“Daryl, I think we should talk before you go to the infirmary” Aaron’s tone of voice became serious. “Look, you probably don't know this but…”

“Daddy!” The sudden scream of a child interrupted the conversation. Both men followed the direction of the sound, finding a little girl walking towards them, pouting with fresh tears along her cheeks. 

“What happened sweetheart, are you okay?” Aaron took the little girl in his arms, swiping away the tiny drops. “I’m sorry, let me take her home so we can talk” he frowned — “Don't move, I’ll be back in a minute”.

Daryl nodded watching his friend leave, confused by his words and sudden change of demeanor.

Once the residents spotted him he felt exposed. People greeted him with surprise, some of them came forward to ask him how he was doing while others just stared, clearly unaware of who he was.

Anxiety took the best of him, the chances of running into you were high the longer he stayed there, he thought it was for the best if he could sneak in, get his antibiotics and leave before you notice. 

He owed you at least that.

The small white house came into his sight, pots full of flowers carefully placed following the road to the stairs. His heart raced when he recognized which kind they were: tulips, your favorite ones.

The curtains on the window were open, leaning on the corner outside the door he peeked inside in hopes to see Siddiq there, but what he saw made him freeze, feeling every inch of his skin electrified. 

You were there.

Time didn't seem to pass by you cause he could’ve sworn you looked the same as the last time he saw you, except the pony tail you used to wear everyday was gone, and your hair looked shorter. He smiled recalling how many times you complained about being too long for the damn summer. 

God, he missed you. 

Daryl endured a lot of things down the river, but being away from you was the hardest one.

After your discussion in the woods, he made himself a promise. To make it through, he could never allow himself to think of you. Not because he didn't want to but because he was certain he wouldn't survive if he did it. 

All the feelings he captured inside him all these years were coming out in waves, leaving him in a daze. He wanted to leave, this wasn't what he was planning on, but Daryl felt hypnotized. He drank you in, memorizing for one last time every corner of your beautiful face. 

Siddiq’s frame appeared next to yours, whispering something in your ear that made you chuckle. The scene had a hint of intimacy hidden in the way you both looked at eachother. 

And then, Siddiq’s hands took your waist, pulling you closer to him, until the distance between your bodies disappeared. He placed one kiss on your forehead followed by another one on your lips and you smiled at the action.

Oh

That's why Aaron wanted to talk to him first.

Daryl’s breathing hitched. No, no, no.

Siddiq looked different from the last time Daryl saw him, older, more mature and he could’ve sworn even taller.

He looked like the happiest man on earth. Daryl couldn't blame him, once he felt like that too.

He took your hand giving it one last kiss before waving goodbye, Daryl’s eyes were glued to the action, feeling a strange sense of relief once he left the room.

He didn't know how long he stood there in front of the door but he couldn't move, it felt like the strength from the earth was nailing him to the wooden deck, immobilizing his body.  Everything hurt, if the fever didn't kill him this certainly would.

Immerse in his thoughts he missed the sound of your steps approaching the door, you opened it before he could make a move.

“Da.. Daryl?!” your eyes widened at him. — “What are you doing here?!”

The shock of having you suddenly so close left him flabbergasted, he remained silent feeling the lump on his throat getting bigger, words couldn't physically come out of his mouth.

Your eyes scanned him, you knew Daryl and the only reason he would come back was if he was dangerously injured.

His skin looked pale, and the bags under his eyes were starting to have a purple look but what really concerned you, was the swollen massive cut across his right eye.

You brought your hand towards his forehead, he was burning.

“Oh my god! Come in, come in." — " We need to take care of that, it’s already infected” you rushed him in as fast as you could.

Daryl nodded, still unable to talk.

Sitting on the stretcher Daryl watched your trained hands hurriedly clean up his wound, the smell of your sweet perfume captivated his nostrils every time you leaned over to apply some ointment. He hummed inwardly with delight, even as you were trying to be really careful to not hurt him further, he couldn't feel a thing, his mind was consumed in the sensation of your delicate touch.

“Here, you need to take one in the morning before eating, make sure to have something in your stomach, please” you softly said while giving him a bottle of pills.

“Ya sure don't need this?” guilt pang him, he was strong, two pills would do the trick, he didn't need more.

“Don't fight me, please?, I know what I’m doing” you scolded him tittling your head.

“Yeah, I know” Daryl’s voice came out almost in a whisper.

The tension in the air was palpable, filled with a thousand emotions. There was so much history between the two of you, even if you weren't together now, both of you knew you would always love and care for each other to the end.

Your heart was pounding so hard you were afraid you’d faint right there. You knew you would see Daryl again, sure, but not like this, not after Siddiq just left. 

It took a long time before you could feel like yourself again, days and sleepless nights wondering for years why you weren't enough. Sometimes you would go outside the gates of Alexandria determined to search for him and talk, beg for him to take you back, to love you again. But his words rang loud in your head whenever you approached near the river “It means ya need to move on like I did”.

“M’ sorry” Daryl broke the cruel silence. “I didn't knew”

You closed your eyes, facing the window, unable to look at his face. It was crazy how deep down the feelings you had for him still burned like fire, hearing the sound of his voice made your heart race, attempting to jump out of your chest.

“Are ya happy?” Daryl continued, standing from the stretcher walking over to you. — “I need to know”.

You were happy indeed. Siddiq brought something different in you, a version you enjoyed. His love was calm, easy, steady, exactly what you needed after so much time alone feeling pity for yourself. A breath of fresh air for your drowning soul. 

Sure, it wasn't the fervent passionate love you felt for Daryl, but it was enough to make you happy.

“I am” you simply answered. “And I hope you found the peace you were looking for”.

Daryl nodded, trying to keep himself together. He was truly glad you were happy but the sorrow he felt knowing he wasn't the reason behind overwhelmed him. 

He couldn't blame you. You fought hard for many years to be close to him but the grief blinded him until it was too late. He told you to move on, so you did. It wasn't that hard to understand.

“Thank ya for the medicine and everythin’, angel.” he managed to answer.

Your head buzzed at those words, it took all of your strength to not run into his arms.

“Daryl, I…” you mumbled, hugging yourself afraid of falling apart into pieces. 

Wishing he was a better man, Daryl walked towards the door crushed by the reality he was facing. He raised his eyes to yours for one last time.

“My heart will always belong to ya.” Daryl pronounced before crossing the frame of the front door, landing every word right inside your aching heart.

You watched him leave wondering if you were making a mistake, but fully aware that right now, there was nothing you could do.

[kuni-is-daddy]

Ive been reading a lot of yan!scara fics but i was thinking.. how would scara be with a yandere s/o???

Boss! Scaramouche X yandere Assistant/Bodyguard reader PART 2?

OoF. that made my brain stop while i was just 'struggling' writing something anon. U CURED MY WRITERS BLOCK.

where we last left off in the "boss scara series" you confessed to him and made the first move. the both of you began to truly cling onto eachother. but what if y/n finally shows their obsessive behavior..

Scara ranting to childe :((

CAPI'S NOTE: IM TRAUMATIZED. PART 1 GOT A COMMUNITY LABEL :/ now I have to be a little nice in the smut parts. Any advice on how to avoid it is appreciated :)

AM I FREAKING OUT FOR NO REASON? GN😭❌ ITS 12:13AM

BOSS! SCARA. PART1

Part3!

AMAZING ART

Scara masterlist

WORDS 1.2K

MINORS DO. NOT. INTERACT.❌❌❌

Sparring:

i feel like reader would start acting a bit creepy, Like for example Scara would usually just have you wait outside the building for him to come back from changing his attire back into his suit after you two 'spar' but reader insisted to wait for him 'outside the changing room' Scara thought you we're trying to act like a tease as usual and say things around 'hmm? You wanna see more my pet?' or even down right have you suck him off in his personal changing room. When it comes to sparring your always giving him such praise for his strength, its not everyday or..at all. where someone can surpass you of all people. but you just couldnt EVER wrap your head around him~ "Your so strong master~ I never expect anyless from you" You'd both usually spar for around 5+ rounds but scara started to feel..Different about it.

Fighting/Missions:

"Tsk. Another boring ass day coming to aclose.." He'd say while turning off his favorite song, bohemian rhapsody. He adjusts his tie while opening the door to see you with a big smile on your face. With his already needed paperwork you got from his 'bestie' childe. "The fuck is all this?" "Its your paperwork for the week master~ I already filled it all out for you and childe helped me-" He snatched it away from you." "Alright shit..You dont have to act like such a fucking nerd y/n."

The both of you walked through narukami island, through the outskirts to inazuma city while a bunch of nobushi tried to ambush you. With one swift draw of your weapon you murdered them all in one blow. Scara barely shifted his eyes away from his paper. Only to see your bloodthirsty smile as the nobushi rogue samurai began to cough up blood. He was use to seeing and experiencing reactions like this due to him always being around childe when they train within the abyss. But you. Something was off about you lately.

Scara would purposely drag you into the abyss when its usually just him and childe. He whispered to childe, pointed at a group of abyss creatures and said that they 'are after him' and the both of them would watch as you rabidly charged at his 'enemys' like a dog. Blood splatters all over your suit as you laughed at their pathetic attempts to try and get a free hit at you.

Childe

"Hey comrad! How are ya' today?" The ginger said while sitting next to you in the hallway waiting room. "IM great childe! Me and kuni went out to eat today and it was so much fun. Have you seen the way he fights childe? The way he pulls out his katana..." You daydreamed and ranted off about scaramouche to childe. The both of you shared the same bloodthirsty perspective, Weather over your s/o or just in general. But little did you know he put on a happy face infront of you. Scara asked him to 'spy' on you and ask about what the two of you did today and hear your reaction.

---

"Childe something is up with y/n. I dont know why the fuck they keep acting like that."

"Like what? Dont you usually have the same type of attitude scara.. Dont you Like that?"

"Ugh. I knew talking to you was going to be pointless. Childe, I dont know who is more of a fucking burden. You or Y/N."

Then they suddenly heard you knocking on the door. "Kuni!! Are you in their kuni!"

"the fuck-" Scara said under his breath. He halfly opened the door as childe kept quiet.

"Mmm~ master there you are.. I was hoping you could help me with my sparing tonight." You began to open the door farther and push at his tie. "No. im fucking busy." He removed your hand. "Kuni..But your always busy. And didnt i already help you finish your work today?" He sighed at your perseverance. "Y/n. One day im gonna fucking fire you if you keep pissing me off. And the fuck has been up with you lately?" "N-Nothings wrong kuni! I-im sorry. I just wanted to spend more time with you.." That was all you needed to hear to severely apologize for bothering him and went 'home'

"Well shit. Comrad ill leave this up too you :D -" the ginger patted the short mans shoulder and walked towards the door.

"where the fuck are you going?"

"Im going home-"

He looked at childe with a dead expression.

"Hey listen. If this is really a problem to you, Just get rid of y/n. Your stronger then them right? Problem solved."

"Im not going to fucking kill them."

--

Y'all do it 🤪

scara would obviously feel some sort of way about your sudden change in behavior But be entertained at this 'game' he'd play with you. You came off so sweet and well put together. you would apologize and blush at the littlest of things but now you we're addicted to him. You murdered with no hesitation, Every thought you had was about him. You'd send nude pictures of yourself, Even videos to him while he was at meetings of you fingering yourself. But it was nothing he couldnt handle. He knew how to always put you in your place, He already surpassed you in everyway. He was stronger then you and certainly had you wrapped around his finger. He threatened to fire you hundreds of times just to see how fucking scared and how'd much you beg but never did fire you unlike everyone else, Yet every single time your heart would skip a beat at the word. Leaving kuni was something you never wanted to happen. Ever. Kuni concluded that he'd have fun with you for as long as he wanted. He knew dam well you weren't going anywhere unless he chose.

his phone rang.

"What?" Scara answered in annoyance.

"K~kuni i~" He was greeted to the sound of you moaning "im- F-fuck~ Im s' sorry for earlier. Can i be your good pet and make it up for you daddy? Im waiting for you at home"

Scara went to his penthouse and when he opened the door to his room, while taking off his tie. You we're putting on a show for him, face down ass up with 2 of your fingers going back and forth inside your wet hole. "Kuni~ your home....P-please~ I want you inside of me~" "Oh yeah? Is my little slut that desperate f' me?" He took no time taking off his belt and shoving his pants aside to stuff his cock inside of you.

[solisaureus]

What was it about Will and Nico that drew you to them, individually and/or as a ship?

nico has always been my favorite character!!! well technically that's not true it was annabeth until battle of the labyrinth (and i still love her very very much) -- i read the original series as each book was coming out so when titans curse came out in 2007 i honestly thought nico was so annoying LMAO and i thought bianca was going to be the new addition to the cast. so when she died i was totally shocked and i didnt know how to feel about nico until battle of the labyrinth came out. and then he had that dark and edgy character arc, and my dark and edgy emo 14 year old self was like "ok this kid rules actually" and hes been my fave ever since. how long has it been. (checks watch) ive been stanning nico di angelo for 15 years.

i have always loved nico because i've always related to him -- i have a lot of the same problems that nico has (catholic repression, internalized homophobia, trauma, mental illnesses, feeling like you dont belong, i could go on) and seeing him fight so hard to survive just for the chance to see the day when things might get better...it was really inspiring to me. it sounds corny but this character helped me get through some really difficult times in my life. the way that nico strove so hard to survive in heroes of olympus when he basically had nothing he wanted to live for really gave me strength to keep going too.

And thats part of why solangelo immediately appealed to me! Nico di Angelo finally finding love and laughing and allowing himself to be close to someone after i watched him endure ceaseless torment since 2007 was so gratifying. ever since their initial interaction in blood of olympus i have felt like will was so right for nico -- he was never afraid of him, he treated him the same as everyone else, he went out of his way to make nico feel wanted and refused to let nico fall back on his old self-destructive habits. and i thought it was really fitting that nico's love interest would be someone new, someone unentangled with nico's twisted past, someone he could look to the future with and heal with.

so i started liking will because he was nico's love interest, but once trials of apollo came out I got really invested in will as his own character too, and this feeling has only strengthened with the sun and the star's release. I have actually been waiting for an Apollo demigod to be a main character since I was like 12, because I've always identified with Apollo (I've had a lifelong special interest in Greek mythology lol). And Will was exactly who I was waiting for -- i love how gentle he is, i love that he's a healer, i love his relationship with Apollo, I love how much of a dork loser he is, i love how much he cares for people, and i love his dynamic with nico so much. i ended up writing my fic Solace because I couldnt stop thinking about how will was there in the background the entire time, he lost his siblings, he pined for nico, he was forced into leadership roles when he wasn't ready. and after reading tsats i LOVE how much he is filled with self-doubt and anxiety and how he loves nico so much and wants to support him and make him feel safe and loved in the ways that nico needs. he is so so so fucking good and i adore him and he is truly unlike any other character in this series.

i love nico, i love will, i love solangelo, i love how they contrast each other and yet are the same in so many ways, i love how they overcome realistic relationship obstacles to be together because after all theyve both been through they deserve to feel secure and at peace with someone they love, who they know loves them back.

[bridgyrose]

Would you mind doing something based on this by wuyi1551

(@wuyi1551 looks like I have another request from your wonderful art! Hopefully I did this well for you)

“Why wouldnt you want to leave your money to me?” Cinder asked as she took another sip from her wine. “If we were to get married, that would be the best way to make sure your wealth is used, right?” 

Raven gently swirled the wine around in her glass and smirked a bit as she sat the wine glass down. “Yes, but remember, if I were to get married to you, it would be for the benefits we’d get as a couple, not because I love you. And besides, if I were to give you a cent of anything I had, then I’d have to make sure my daughter and the rest of her family would get something too. While it would be amusing to write a will where no one gets anything, I… I still have my own shortcomings I need to make up for and giving my money away to charity will help clear things up.” 

“So this would be a marriage of opportunity and not love?” 

“Oh, I still love you, but this world isnt meant for those who wish to be single.” 

Cinder rolled her eyes. “Just like this world isnt for those who are weak? I know exactly how you’ve amassed the fortune you have and it wont take long for someone to realize that everything you have was taken from those you deem as weak. Giving it away will only open you up to that kind of investigation, even if you’re dead. Do you really want that kind of legacy to be left behind about you? You’ve taken strides to remove yourself from that old Bandit Queen title you had, do you really want to bring it back?” 

“But for all this talk of love, are you sure its me that you love and not the benefits of being with me?” Raven sliced into the chicken on her plate, her eyes locked on Cinder. “You never once have told me you love me, and now that we’re thinking hypothetically of marriage, you only seem to be concerned about my money and not about your love for me. So tell me, Cinder, do you love me?” 

“You know exactly why we’re getting married,” Cinder said as she clutched her burned arm, reeling at the remembrance of why it was scarred. “Mother feels like I’m the only “daughter” she has that she can consider expendable. That putting giving me to you will be the only way she’ll be able to keep her influence going in Mistral while her other daughters are married off to suitors in Atlas. Suitors of their choosing.” 

“Then lets spend the rest of our night enjoying ourselves and then we can go our separate ways.” 

Cinder looked up at Raven with a small smile as she lifted her wine glass and gently pressed it against Raven’s. She took another sip from her wine as the lights around her started to spin and her eyes started to feel droopy. Her cheeks felt warm to the touch, which didnt surprise her much as she checked the wine bottle, realizing it was the third one the duo had gone through. And before she knew it, she closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. 

Morning came rough for her as she groaned and woke up, stiff and sore from the night before. She sat up and paused when she couldnt move her arms from infront of her, the feeling of silk gloves over her hands and arms causing her to panic as she groggily got up. She nearly slipped off the bed as she stood up, only to be stopped by Raven’s hand. 

“Please dont move around too much, you’ll ruin your dress.” 

Cinder glared at Raven, her eyes glancing down at the white wedding dress she wore. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

“Taking you as a bride,” Raven answered with a grin. “I *am* still a bandit queen and I take what I like. And while I still dont like your intentions, I like you. So, I’m going to take you.” 

“You cant just take me! Mother will be expecting a marriage contract-” 

“And you already signed one.” Raven grinned and pulled out a piece of paper tucked away in her cleavage. “And as far as anyone is concerned it was your idea.” 

Cinder’s eyes widened as she read the contract in front of her, stating that she would give up any claim to Raven’s money and be solely hers. “I-I didnt sign this!” 

“Not yet, but you will,” Raven said as she folded the paper up again. “You have two choices in front of you: be mine and give up any thoughts of being anything but mine, or I can let you go back to Atlas to your mother and let you take whatever punishment she’ll give you for letting me go.” 

Cinder glared and tried to snap at Raven, only to feel her teeth sink into a cloth that Raven held out in front of her. She tried to pull away until Raven pulled her back and tied it behind Cinder’s hend, gagging her. 

“That’s not how a bride-to-be should act. And since we both know that you’ll never go back to your mother, there really isnt much of a choice, is there?” 

Cinder quit fighting as she watched Raven tie a lead to the ropes around her wrists, all hope starting to fade as she was pulled along. Today would mark her first day as Raven Branwen’s wife, a decision that was no longer hers to make.

[alienaiver]

Something to think about on this fine day....

Shinou has to get a vaccine. He hates vaccines. You make them more fun with bandaids in the most absurd colors and designs.

But what designs does he pick to put on your arm when you get your vaccine?

dira ur making my brain go crazy !!!!! that is the cutest little thing in thE WORLD !!! i couldnt help but write a little smth for that 🥺🥺

its 715 words and i dont mention the needles or go into detail abt the vaccine itself !! 🧡✨

ty for inspiring me my beloved !!! its good to get out of the one-track-mind i get in when i work on One Project ! 🥹🧡✨

(also all this is written on my phone, i havent had energy to proof read as it just came quickly to me !!! 🧡)

"hitoshi, get up." you playfully smack at his forearm but all it does is make him curl more in on himself. you snort a laugh and when you try to get your hands underneath the blanket to tickle him, your cat Soup joins the fray. you sit back on your haunches with a raised brow, "you can't hide in there forever. we have to leave in a few minutes."

a sound between a groan and a whine is heard from the pile in front of you before he dramatically throws the duvet off of him and spreads his arms fully onto the bed, "I don't wanna." he moans with his eyes glued shut. you shake your head at his childish antics from his valid fear, "i know baby but you gotta. im in the high risk group, right? and with your job you-" he starts blabbering noises to make you stop before he admits with a pout, "i know.."

you lean down and kiss his forehead, "is there a way i can make this easier? a treat from starbucks on the way back? a muffin from the bakery?"

shinsou huffs, "y'kno we have shared economy, right?"

you roll your eyes, "it's the act of me buying it for you, not the actual money spent."

he blows you a raspberry. you laugh and kiss his nose, "what if we bring our own band-aids? the ones you love with the kittens?"

shinsou's eyes show his earnest excitement about that when he tries to steel his expression. then, he grabs your cheeks with his hands and looks into your eyes, a serious expression painted in his features, "will you put it on me?"

you smile, "if they let me."

it makes it easier. you're also incredibly lucky that the lady vaccinating the both of you is incredibly kind and patient. she lets you go first to show shinsou that it isn't that scary and she lets him put on a band-aid on you if he sanitizes his hands first, which is a good step for him to know that she'll let you do the same when it's his turn. he spent a few minutes debating which band-aids each of you should get and when you see what he put on you, you can't help but coo at him.

it's the one with the black cat that looks like his old cat, the one aizawa and yamada had back when he moved in with them - he's been very careful about when those band-aids are to be used lest they run out, but here he is, willingly putting one on you.

for himself, he's chosen the one that he knows is your favorite. it's the one with the cat you think is the cutest because of the pose. the doctor goes through each step carefully for shinsou as you hold his hand and keep his eyes focused on you.

it's honestly over before he realizes, but he squeezes your hand a moment longer than necessary, as if to silently thank you for being there through his odd anxiety (you don't think it's half as odd as he thinks himself). he only lets go when you need your hand to put on the band-aid.

he sighs out in relief after you've put it on, but let out a surprised yelp when you pat the area after you've put on the band-aid. you heave in a quick breath before you apologize, "i'm so sorry babe that was reflex! i didn't mean to.. oh god, it didn't hurt too bad right?"

he ends up just laughing at you, "you're really hurting me after i've gone through this?"

on the way out you're holding hands, your thumb caressing the hand in yours, reminding him you're here and that he was very brave. when you prompt him about which reward he would like, he scratches the back of his neck as he admits, "i'd like both the coffee and the muffin.. and a kiss."

you happily oblige to all three wishes, only teasing him about being greedy but promising him you'll never deprive him from what he wants. it's a successful day.

you're not sure how to tell him that he'll need to repeat it next year. you'll wait at least 10-11 months before telling him, you think - and you'll maybe buy the specific band-aids as soon as possible and hide them, so you're sure you have them if they're out of production next year.

[stellawolfearts]

Aight it's been a long hit minute since I sent ya anything (hi hello bye the bye)

Top five favorite facts/bits of lore/ HCs (can be yours or others head canons) of nezha 😁

hihihiiiiiii

ooooh top five facts/bits of lore/ HCs about Nezha. this is gonna be fun~

Powers

youd never guess. but when i first watched through LMK i didnt care for Nezha. not rlly. I always thought he was cool and had a nice design but I didnt really care much for him. But i ALWAYS thought his powers and abilitys were so cool. maybe its my bias for pink characters and powers (i also have a bias for blue) but when i needed a character to do some fighting in my fic i snatched Nezha. and ever since i started writing him i couldnt stop. So honestly i gotta put his cool lookin powers as #1 since its what initially hooked me onto his character. both canon and other power HC's i have.

2. His personality PSA: Im not saying any of this is canon. these are my headcanons.

I love canon Nezha dont get me wrong, but im a little biased to my headcanons. well- more then a little XP. I ADORE sassy traumatized fucked up little guys. LMK Nezha is already sassy as hell, as he should be. he's soooooo traumatized if you read into his mythology. and he's also so POWERFUL.

it's just something about characters who are mainly known for being powerful and unstoppable. a force to be reckoned with. but eventually it's revealed this 'unstopable persona' is actually just a mask they've built. They are no doubt very powerful. but one of the reasons people are so scared of them is bc they've built the reputation so no one hurts them anymore. Nearly always on the defensive and holding their emotions inside so thy don't get hurt anymore. But like we saw in the s3 special with MK can still be gentle and kind.

not only that, but needs that kind of kindness and acceptance in his life. Needs a family that will accept all aspects of him. The good and the bad.

TS Nezha is a hurt kid. Traumatized and honestly kinda lonely. Because there's very few people that know the real him. Even if he trusts other people, there's no guarantee that they will accept the real him without the mask he's created. Kin moment.

that and the fact its very easy to shove him into a found family.

also Autism representation in my HC's. I'm Autistic, and some of his traits are just me projecting my Autism onto him.

3. His white hair.

My favorite lore bit about Nezha is not something a lot of people know about him. In the translation of Investiture of the Gods I own it says he was born with white hair.

Chapter 12 - The birth of Nezha

However, as Yin had a strange dream one night, she suddenly gave birth to this strange child the following morning. With maidens rushing about saying that a demon was present in Yin's chambers, Li Jing immediately rushed forth into her room and cleaved in two a strange fleshy ball that rolled to and fro across the floor. Within the ball emerged a small young child with hair as white as snow with a gleaming golden bracelet on his right wrist.

I have implemented this in my Tangled Star AU but how is spoilers >:3

all im saying is TSNezha and TSMac have something in common~ but thats already saying too much >:3

4. His Design Theres a reason ive only minorly changed his design in my headcanons. Overall i ADORE it. Again im probably biased because of all the pink but I love characters like him. He's got some traditionaly feminine design choices. at least traditionally in the west (Pink, Long hair, the bottom of his armor looks like a skirt). It's very gender. and he's just cute overall. his design is so much fun to draw and my version is even more fun.

Honestly. The guys got my gender. Masc, but confident in wearing some feminine things. He just seems like the kind of guy who'd like wearing dresses and keeping his hair long, but still masc nonetheless. Breaking gender norms as he should.

5. His dynamics with other characters.

I love writing him interacting with other characters. He just clashes so well with the other characters when i write him in my AU's. both positively and negatively. I love writing him in angst, i love writing him in fluff. I just. love putting this guy into situations XD.

his relationship with his found family in tangled star is SO MUCH FUN to write. traumatized little guy who trusts no one but the people he's closest with. and even they are still getting him to open up.

thats...honestly the best way i can describe my top five things about nezha. its hard to explain why i like him and i was just tempted to write

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo

blorbo.

So be happy you got that much out of me. sorry it got so long but once i start ranting i cant stop. XD

[cluelylikesporn]

okay exam update cuz im actually really pissed off.

so im autistic + adhd, and only been diagnosed relatively recently, so i havent really been getting assistance until now. (autism diagnosis last year, adhd 2 years ago.)

my last exam was (still is) this period, and im going home once i finish it. one of my other exams i was sent to special ed (it’s called different things in australia and other schools but i dont wanna get doxxed) and the chick helping me (we’ll call her charlie) told me she couldnt even read the questions out to me… like i legit get more help in my normal exam conditions.

she told me WHILE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK “i think i know why your so upset, because you know you dont listen in class and just sleep and draw on your hand.” cunt, what..?

HOW ARE YOU WORKING WITH NEURODIVERGENT KIDS..?

i literally have spent my whole life wondering why i cant listen in class and hearing “just reread it.” or “your not listening hard enough.” is so fucking tiring. maybe explain it? she refused to help me because i “wasnt approved” to have a helper

the school knows im autistic so why do i have to be approved to get the help i need? like you dont have to make up all these forms and files. you have teachers who can help me literally in the building who could help me but you refuse.

okok i got rlly off topic but tldr on what happened today:

my teacher sent me to the special ed area to do my exam (last time he did they told me to go back) also shout out to my english teacher hes a legend. he gave me my sheet, i took a ritalin, said bye to the people i liked and left. (i used to take ritalin daily but now i jst take it to focus better in exams and shit)

i went to se and saw a couple kids i knew. one i hated and didnt know why he was there, one who has some mental problems so i understood why he was there. hes a sweetie. and some chick i knew who broke her wrist and had to write on a laptop.

so one by one they were assigned a teacher who would sit with them and help them/ read out questions and then the lady said “oh chloe your not supposed to be here, you have to go back to class.”

are you fucking kidding me.

i completely understand its not her or my teachers fault im not meant to be there, but im allowed to be a little frustrated. i asked why i kept getting sent here and why i couldn’t get help.

same shit about documents and boring stuff.

keep in mind i get ndis funding so i thought that would impact my education experience but nope, literally nothing. i also understand there could be things my mum hasnt done and that’s completely ok she has her own life, but also THE SCHOOL KNOWS IM AUTISTIC. that should be enough. its like i only get the help if i start ditching class and become an eshay or some shit like i shouldnt have to become a troubled kid to get help.

so the lady said my only benefit i even got from the school is like 5 minutes extra time. and she told me i could either go back to class or do my exam here( which means i could get no help/ questions read to me.)

ngl this was dumb of me but i said ok bc i didnt want to go back to class after saying bye to everyone😭

so i sat there with one airpod in, a pen that didnt fucking work, the only help i could get was eavesdropping on what the assistant teachers were saying but they were so quiet. i did manage to write some stuff but it was pretty fucking stressful. i couldnt stop thinking about what charlie said (the lady helping me with my maths the week before.)

this may sound super dumb but i saw a crow fly onto a table outside and i felt like it was watching over me. like it was looking right at me. it made me feel a bit better and i got some work done.

it wouldve been fine if those fucking assistant teachers didnt keep giving me pitiful looks like bro. i know im fucked.

anyway i finished my exam (barely) and went to the bathroom to tell my friend ab what happened, caught a bus home and am about to play dbd 😾

sorry for the long post im jst so pissed😭 but ily guys and ill post i swear🙏

song of the day:

[football-whore]

u walking into neymar jerking off moaning ur name like crazy and it turns u ONNNN

Omg yess it will probably be shit since i'm writing three other smut while writing this so yea. And why are all my other writings than the smuts getting so little attention.

And Happy birthday to Neymar!!!

Warnings: Smut just smut.

And I am tryna do this based on a Haaland smut I read not too long ago and I wanna give credits but I dont remember who wrote it so im sorry for the person who wrote it and I love you<333

You were neighbors with the one and only Neymar Jr. When you had lived there for a while you had started to develop a crush on him but Didn't wanna tell him since he is your neighbor. But on day that changes.

Your has needed to be renovated and that meant that you couldn't be able to live in there for a while so you had to live somewhere else.

And the first person to ask you if you wanted to live at their house while your house got renovated was Neymar. It actually made you happy so you accepted the offer.

The day of the renovating finally came so you packed a bag with some things and went over to Neymars.

You couldn't even ring on the doorbell because Neymar had already opened up for you. "Hi Y/n! Welcome in!" Neymar said and so you did "I hope i'm not any trouble!" you said and Neymar shaked his head to say no.

"No not at all!" He said and you smiled. He took your bag and showed you around.

"You can sleep in the guest room if your okay with that!" He said and you said "Of course!". He quickly showed you to the guest room putting your bag on the bed "Make yourself at home!" he said and you smiled as he left the room.

After a while you two play a board game and you were winning but he knocked one of your characters down. It rolled under the table you two were sitting at.

You kneeled down to get it showing off your ass making Neymar horny. He bit on his under lip feeling that he got a boner so he took his hand over it and stood up "I..I am kinda tired so Im gonna go up and sleep" he said.

You got confused as you heard him run upstairs but you tried to ignore it and started to clean up the game.

After you cleaned up you decided to go to bed aswell but you stopped when you walked past Neymars door. You thought you heard your name and you did but not in a way you excpected.

"Omg!Y/n!" You heard Neymar moan. You felt your clit starting to get a little wet.

You out one of your hands on your clit and started to rub a bit not wanting to disturb Neymar.

But once he moaned your name one last time you couldnt resist anymore you wanted him inside of you. So you pushed the door open revealing yourself to Neymar. "Y/N! omg..It's not what it looks like..!" He said covering himself.

"So you want me or what?" you ask biting down on your lip.

You walked over to the bed and sat down next to him grabbing his shaft. He looked at you biting his lip as you started to slowly rub up and down on his shaft.

"Omg!" he groaned as you continued. After sometime you finally stopped and took off your clothes instead aswell as your bra leaving you only in your panties.

"Do you like what you see?" you ask as you take off your panties and he nods.

You finally sit yourself down ontop of him teasing his throbbing shft with you clit. After teasing him you finally sit yourself on his member letting a slight moan come out of your mouth.

He gripped onto your hips as you tried to get used to his huge length and when you did you started to move.

"Your so big!" you moaned as you felt him inside of you.

The thrusting got fast very quickly making you reach your climax very quickly.

But even tho you reached yours Neymar still continued going faster and rougher hitting your sweet spot multi times.

"Y/n you feel so freaking good!" Neymar moaned as he finally reached his orgasm pulling out of you. You rolled off of him laying beside him and he rolled his arms around you cuddling you kinda.

"I guess you dont need to sleep in the guest room anymore!" He joked and you rolled your eyes and laughed a little.

/-/-/

I had no time to finish this yesterday since I had training and stuff so here's a kinda late birthday smut for neymar

And please if you wrote the orginial pls dm me or something so I can credit you and everyone else can you please write more requests so I can write anyways love yall!! <333

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas, 👋🤗

so i have a problem. its about my group of friends and im getting really worried at this point

ok so i have this group of friends me and four others ( i go to a school where all the classes have more then one grade) so two of these friends are a year younger. as of this year the two younger ones have started to fight

ok i got to back track a little, last year our group was me (i will give my friends nicnames to respect their privicy), M, S, E, & Z over the summer Z moved away and so this year their was a new kid who was a quick addition to our friend group (H) 🙂

now back to what i was saying S & E (who are the younger ones) so they have been fighting i guess, nothing physicle but still. S thinks that E & H are as they said "conspiring agenst me" and that seems true to them some of the time because E&H sometimes hang out without S

but i feel like there are TWO perspectives that i see this from: one is from S perspective which they think they are being left out of everything and that E doesnt really want to be in this friendship and the second point of view which is from E: E thinks that S is overreacting because "i hang out with you the same amount and somtimes you can be alot" 😶

from where i see it yes S can be a little much SOMETIMES (not alot) but i would too if i thought my friends didnt care me and E does tent to exclude S from some things they do with H 😕

honestly its getting to be a bit much for ME because im the one who has to sort out all this drama (M helps but its mostly me) and its really overwhelming because it hurts me to see to of my very close friends fight in a way that is really more emotional.

the first thing i think of when i think of these fights is one time at recess the two had fought over something and i had tried to sort it out but they were both mad. S was trying to fix it and asked if H & E wanted to silent read in the hallway (we had now just come back inside) and they both said they WOULD but they NEVER did instead they sat at my table (i had read in the hall yesterday and you cant two days in a row🙄(i would have sat with them)) and the whole time they were TRASH TALKING S and i tried buting in but they just said "its none of you business" 🤨(at this point it kinda is)

during that it made me think of that quote that is like "bruises and cuts fade eventually but the things you say never heal" 🥲

but i dont know. i just dont know how to fix it. i HAVE TO fix it. but its exausting.😮‍💨

i dont want to star yelling (which tends to happen when i get overwelmed) 😕but its been really damadging to my mental health, so bad to the point that i had a mental breakdown and i couldnt speak, the only things going through my head were "they need to stop fighting its to loud why cant everyone be quite" 😫i had to stay home from school that day because i COULD NOT talk (when i tried i would just start crying again) 😭

so what should i do PLEASE tell me if what is happing is normal and im just overreacting??? but if not how can i help them????

i will write again if that ok because their fights happen randomly 😅

(also sorry about all the emojis)



Hi hon!

Well, what's happening is pretty normal. Friends fight, especially when they can't quite figure out how to communicate their feelings.

But honestly, this is NOT your problem to fix. E and S need to work this out. And I truly think that if you stop being a part of it, that might force them to work it out on their own.

And here's the thing: this is becoming an issue for YOU. And that's not fair.

So when it happens again (because it will), just walk away. Tell both of them you can't be a part of it. Tell them you care about them, but you need some space. And maybe they'll realize they need to get their shit together.

You need to prioritize your mental health <3

I'm naming you emoji anon. Write back with updates!

[natashasbitxh]

ive been suffering from a case of the shaynse brainrot again but its not serious enough for me to write another fic (ive written three so far on ao3, ill let u guess which ones lol) so the only other way of dumping my dumb shaynse thots was writing smth here

anygay, the new maury episode?? (no real spoilers below but i guess a small warning is needed) first of all, shayne really woke up and decided to serve mantits that day with his fit

second, contrary to what ppl might think from reading my horny smut fics, i dont think of shayne as a particularly horny person BUT every once in a while he will make an extremely sexual joke and act very dumb himbo about it (usually i love it even if it gets a lil gross or childish)

but the hot ball joke with the usual glances towards chanse felt like really bad flirting?? bc i dont think shayne would ever straight up hit on anyone. i think hes polite enough and also conscious of not wanting to make anyone too uncomfortable to not allow himself to act too risque UNLESS he makes it conpletely clear its a silly joke

and that joke felt like it was purposely st00pid to not only make chanse laugh but also very lowkey flirt with him??

obvsly i could be making shit up, my imagination tends to run wild when i think of these two

~fabricgirlie800

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUVE WRITTEN THREE FICS, I am absolutely scrambling abt omg

Omg don't even get me STARTED on Shayne's outfit LIKE...he's been serving a bit too much lately...I fear he has too much power

This is me being silly but it's such a funny thought that jts like Chanse helping his style😭 somebody add that to their fic STAT

OH so u write horny smut fics...writing that down...I WILL FIGURE OUT WHICH FICS R URS

shayne making a horny joke is so silly like his laugh after it makes it so silly little guy idk

omg ur so right, like I found it rlly funny but I must say he COULDNT STOP bringing it up😭 HOT BALLS 🗣🗣

And I totally agree with u, he deffo gives the vibe he flirts through joking ESPECIALLY SILLY JOKES to not make ppl uncomfortable..in a way?

oh I am just the same, I'll think of something and then be like OMG YH and then have to ground myself😭 remind myself I know nothing

[dojunie]

IVE BEEN WANTING TO GREET YOU A WELCOME BACKK!! 🤸🏻‍♀️😭 I WASNT REALLY SURE IF I SHOULD MSG, COZ THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST OF MY ENTIRE TUMBLR CARRER 🫢😭 BUT YAURSS 😭✊🏼 I JUST STARTED FOLLOWING YOUR ACCOUNT A MONTH AGO?? 😭 AND MISDIAL FUCKING ATE.‼️‼️ IT ISNT EVEN FINISHED, YET THE CHAPTERS IVE READ IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO KNOW ITS A MASTERPIECE FR 😭✊🏼 BRO I WAS LITERALLY READING IT ON A SCHOOL NIGHT, AND GURL WHEN I TELL YOU I COULD NOT STOP READING.BLOODSHOT EYES GLUED TO MY SCREEN, CHARGING MY PHONE AND LAYING ON ONE SIDE TILL IT REACHES A CERTAIN AMNT OF PERCENTAGE SO I COUKD TURN AROUND KNOWING I COULDNT WAIT AND PAUSE READING TYPE THANG 😭 SAFE TO SAY I DID NOT GET SLEEP 😭 I DEADASS FINISHED THOSE 2 CHAPTERS IN ONE GO, AND I SWORE TO MYSELF ID KEEP CHAPTER 3 FOR WHEN U UPDATE SO ID HAVE SOMETHING TO KEEP ME SANE. I LIED. I COULDNT HELP IT BRAH, YOUR WRITING JUST TEWW GOODD. I READ THE LAST CHAPTER IN SCHOOL, AND AFTER I FINISHED I WAS LITERALLY STUNNED BRO. LIKE WHADAFAK, I SAT THERE LONGING (😂😭) LIKE REAL NOT FAKE. I WAS GLUED TO MY SEAT JUST WISHING AND PRAYING FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER 😭✊🏼 I WAS DEADASS DYING WAITING FOR THE NEXT UPDATE BRO. AND I WAS EVEN MORE FLABBERGASTED WHEN I REALIZED YOU LAST UPDATED ON DECEMBER OF LAST YEAR⁉️⁉️ BRO I CRIED. I PRAYED, AND I CRIED 😭. I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE ABANDONED STORIES OR ABANDONED BLOGS 😭🙏🏼🧎🏻‍♀️ BUT BRO I LOVE GOD FR I LOVE THE UNIVERSE THEY BE WATCHING MY BACK COZ LITERALLY NOT EVEN A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER YOU CAME WITH AN UPDATE‼️ YAHEY😭🤸🏻‍♀️✨🧚🏻‍♂️ TALK ABT PERFECT TIMINGG‼️ BUT YAURS IK DIS WAS A LONG MSG 🤣 COULDNT CONTAIN MYSELF FR 😭✊🏼 BUT I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW, TAKE YOUR TIME WITH SETTLING IN, UPDATING, AND EVERYTHANG. YOU HAVE A LOT GOING ON WITH JOB HUNTING, SCHOOL, AND MOVING!! DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO UPDATE, TAKE YOUR TIME!! (Please update misdal soon 🙏🏼🧎🏻‍♀️😭🤣 ‼️half jks‼️🤣) BUT YAURS TAKE YOUR TIME AND MAKE SURE YOU’RE PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST 🫶🏻 LOVE YOUSSS ✨🧚🏻‍♂️🤸🏻‍♀️🫶🏻 STAY SAFES AND HEALTHY IN THE MEANWHILEE 😋🫶🏻🫶🏻😭 (sorry if I didn’t really make sense, English isn’t my first language ���🙏🏼🫶🏻)

idk i think im in love w u

definitely need to put this under a read more bc i have been SCREAMING!!!!!!! OVER THIS ASK FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS!!!!!!! when i tell you im going to print out this message and stick it to the wall in front of my desk so i can see it every time i sit down to write najkdajdjsklajd nckdsn i love this ask i love u i love this ask i love you!!!!!!!!! im so happy the lil stories i write about kpop boys grabbed u hard enough to make u stay up on a school night, dying phone and all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as i was writing ch4 and starting ch5 i was thinking of this message like 'i cant let colorful anon down i have to get this shit out BEFORE 2024!!!!!!!!" AND SO BE IT IT SHALL BE DONE

its crazy to think that its Literally been an entire year since the last update and people are still so invested........... like im cryin a little yall are seriously the realest

i love u im not kidding this is my favorite ask of all time. i almost dont want to answer it so it can stay in my ask box forever but u clearly went all out in writing this so i simply cannot allow the world to not see your work of art

screenshotting to make it my wallpaper as we speak

i am dubbing you colorful anon, pls come back whenever you want even if its just to leave an emoji in my inbox when ch 4 drops

im going to staple this message to every wall of my house i am so honored to be ur first ask

going to OPEN the misdial google doc and write some more for YEW!!!!!!! CAUSE U DESERVE IT!!!! MUAH MUAH KISSES I AM TUCKING U INTO BED LOVINGLY!!!!!!!!!!

[smrtelnaaleziva]

(long post; no tw, i am just sad)

i do not know if this is just me and i am complaining too much or if other chronically ill (or even disabled) people can relate to this but dae take it really badly when their health issues fuck them over, especially if it is at the worst possible time?

for background, i have severe migraines (i dont consider myself diasbled but i have them frequently enough for it to be an issue, in december alone i had 15 headache days) and i have severe mental illness. i am also uni student.

last week i had six finals that i studied like crazy for (except for latin cause i really did not have energy for that one). on thursday i was supposed to have three. the entire week my anxiety has been horrible and on thursday i woke up with awful migraine.

i went to the first final that i had at 8 AM. because i did really well on exams before, i only needed one point out of six. i took otc medicine bc i still thought that maybe it isnt that bad, i am afraid of taking my sumatriptan too much (mistake). before i even got to school, my migraine progressed so much i started having trouble with my vision (in general my vision is bad but glasses correct it - that doesnt happen during my bad migraines). my vision was spotty and really blurry in one of my eyes and i couldnt read.

i took the first final. i got 0.75 points. awesome.

i didnt even bother going to the second one (it was latin anyway, there was 50-50 chance i fail), instead i went back to dorms and i am glad i did because i started puking. i managed to take my sumatriptan, another otc analgesic and used anxiety medicine to knock myself out so i get at least some sleep before the last final that i had in the afternoon.

it helped, i mean i still had bad migraine but at least it was dulled now. i passed, surprisingly bc my eyesight was still pretty bad and that doesnt mix well with lab work so i am glad.

now, failing a final in my country isnt that bad of a thing? like they dont count towards our gpa, only major exams do. i have eleven subjects this semester and only four of them have major exams so that is fine. you need to pass the finals to be able to take the major exams but you get three attempts at every one of them. that means that yeah, they are hard, but one bad day like this doesnt fuck you over as much.

i am still extremely upset by the whole thing. i worked really hard to pass, arguably more than some other people, but i still failed due to circumstances outside of my control. i hate hate being chronically ill. it feels like i really need to work way harder than other people to be on their level due to my memory issues caused by my mental illness... and i can still fuck up just because my brain decides to fuck me over.

i know the world is unfair and all that stuff but i am still upset by this fact. if feels really unfair. i often daydream about being completely okay and how my life would be if i was. but i am not. that is the reality. there is no permanent cure for migraines, there is no way i will ever fully recover from my mental illness. so i am sad, obviously. and when i having hard time to accept this and cry about it, my mum tells me i need to stop pitying myself and instead focus on the future. i know she is well meaning and probably right but it still feels very invalidating.

idk, am i being too dramatic or is this normal reaction? either way, it still sucks. i am not sure why i am writing this, maybe to complain, but i guess i really need someone to tell me i am not crazy for thinking like this.