#you dont understand how i had to drop everything when i learned that she had a big dog. extremely important to me.

[priscirat]

minori and her little guy

[camilyscove]

A LOVE UNLIKE ANY OTHER . JJ MAYBANK ꩜

trope : enemies to lovers .

genre : fluff . ꩜

summary : you start having your doubts about whether jj really was the worst person you met after the pogues lock you in a room together .

IT NEVER OCCURRED TO YOU how much you actually liked jj. it pained you to admit such a thing, even if it was just in your head.

ever since you and jj met, there was a rivalry between you two. the other pogues didn't understand why, and as much as they tried to make you two get along, it never worked.

you were at a party when you first met jj, and you had been trying to find your friend, kie, when some drunk dude stumbled into you, his drink spilling onto your shirt.

you hitched your breath, muttering out a small 'shit,' when you looked up at the boy.

it was strange, but you felt your chest tighten. your heartrate picked up, and you couldn't rip your eyes away from him. he was so.. perfect, with those ocean blue eyes of his and his dimples that you found absolutely adorable. you wanted to be the one to make those dimples appear in a laugh, wanted to look into those gorgeous eyes of his and just admire them. and his hands. you wanted to lace your fingers through his—

"damn, my fault, mamacita," he said sarcastically. he was dazed, and his eyes were clouded. you blinked, giving him a look of disbelief.

"this top was $50," you deadpanned, your heart dropping to your stomach. you looked down at the stain you knew wasn't going to come off, biting your lip nervously. he scoffed, rolling his eyes as he placed a hand on your shoulder for balance.

"well, obviously you're a kook, so just buy another one." you stared at him, suddenly all those thoughts about how beautiful he looked disappeared. the only thought you had now was to not beat the living shit out of him.

"I bought it with my own money," you informed, pushing his hand off you shoulder. he squinted at you, as if he were trying to detect any sincerity in your sober eyes. "just because my family is rich, doesn't mean that I use my parents money to buy all my stuff."

"nahhhh," he trailed off, a stupid smile painting across his face. "all of y'all kooks are fuckin' lazy, 'ya feel me? us pogues gotta work our asses off, while you guys don't have to work for shit." his words were slurring together, and he laughed as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

you knew this guy was definitely out of it, that he didn't understand what the hell he was saying. but you still took it personally. you were tired of everyone assuming you were some rich little spoiled princess that got everything she wanted, because it wasn't true. your parents worked hard to support your family. it wasn't like they just pulled all the money they made out of their ass, and you didn't just throw their money away for unnecessary things.

you actually worked at the country club; you were a cart girl and would waitress from time to time. your parents wanted you to learn that you would have to work for the things you wanted, too; that they wouldn't just hand you money when you wanted it.

"since you seem pretty fucking slow, i'm gonna let you know that I actually work at the country club to pay for the shit I want, but i dont blame you for not knowing, because obviously you've never been there," you bit back, and he knit his eyebrows at you.

"i'm slow? who the fuck do you think you are?"

"yes, you're very slow, you dumb fucking blond--"

right before you could finish, kie came up beside you.

"hey, jayj, i see you met—“ she cut herself off as she took in the tension between you two. “jj?” she said, looking at the boy who was fuming. she turned to you, a questioning look on her face. "what happened?"

you inhaled deeply, staring up at the boy who had your patience running thin. "this drunk ass dude spilled his drink on me, and he started calling me a lazy kook who uses my parents money to buy shit," you said lowly, not breaking eyes contact with him once.

"he's drunk, y/n. he has no idea what he's talking about--"

"drunk words speak sober thoughts. you've said it yourself."

she blinked, sighing before muttering an apology on your behalf to the jj guy before pulling you away. she scolded you for arguing with him, saying that he was actually cool if you just got to meet him, that he was drunk and was just saying things off the top of his head. you scoffed and shook your head, refusing to listen to any of her excuses about her friend.

from then on, your relationship between jj was composed of insults thrown at one another and situations where the pogues had to hold you back from swinging at the dude.

even though jj made it clear he had a deep hatred for you, you were still accepted into the group as one of them. they respected how you understood what hard-work was and that you actually made an effort to actually have the things you owned, rather than just begging your parents for money.

it had been two years since the first interaction between you and jj, except now the pogues were done with your shit. they despised how one of you just had to start something up, causing a whole argument to spark up between the two of you. so they came up with a plan.

you were laying flat on your stomach on your bed, reading a book as you listened to the waves crashing against the shore in the background, the result of leaving your window open. your phone began to ring, and you put the book down before answering the call. it was john b.

"yo, we're all going to meet up at the château in like, 10 minutes," you heard him say on the other end of the phone. you sighed, turning to lay on your back.

"i'm on lockdown from sneaking out last time."

"when are you not?" he said with a laugh, and you rolled your eyes.

"y'know what? fuck it. my parents are probably asleep, anyway. my brother will cover for me if they wake up and notice i'm gone, " you said, standing up to pull your shoes on.

"alright, see 'ya later."

he hung up, and you slid your window all the way open. you jumped onto the tree right next to your window, climbing down the ladder before hitting the ground and getting into your new car. you drove away, praying that this would be a lucky time you didn't get caught.

when you finally arrived at the château, you padded up the steps of the porch before swinging the door open, met by surprise as someone grabbed you from behind. you immediately elbowed them in the chest, making them loosen their grip, and before you could hurt them any further, two other people got a hold of you. you tried to scream, but they covered your mouth and dragged you to the back of the château.

"sorry, babes, but we have to do it," you heard kie's voice say. your voice of suprise and confusion was muffled beneath john b's hand.

you were pushed into big john's office, the door locking behind you.

you slammed your fists against the door, screaming for kie and john b and pope to let you out. you were so focused onto getting out of the room that you didn't notice jj sitting on the other side of the room.

"they're not gonna open it, dumbass."

his voice caught you by surprise, and you turned to see him spinning around in big john's chair. you scoffed.

of course.

"you're not leaving until you guys become friends!" you heard pope say from the other side of the door.

"besties," kie corrected, her voice a whisper.

"I'm not saying besties," he protested.

"you have to say besties," john b confirmed, and you heard more aggravated whispers until pope finally caved in.

"until you guys become besties!" you heard kie laughing as pope said, "there, you happy?"

"no way they locked me in a room with you," you said, your jaw going slack as you stared at him in disgust.

"trust me, i'm not any happier than you are, miss kook princess"

"this is the most betrayed i've ever felt in all my seventeen years of living."

"that's a pretty long time."

you looked around before rushing to the windows, but before you could even try to get them open, jj spoke up. "they're painted shut. no way out of this one, mamacita."

"how many times have I told you not to call me that?"

"I dunno."

"exactly. too many times to count, dickhead." he began to go on a rant about how improper it was for you to say such a thing. you sighed and slid down the wall, leaning your head against it as you closed your eyes. now you had to listen to his voice for— God knows how long.

it was a nightmare.

you couldn’t believe you had snuck out again just to be locked into a room with jj— did the pogues not understand that you were already on thin ice with your parents?

about an hour had passed, and jj was still talking about anything that came up on his mind. it irritated you, and you had just about enough when he started to sing.

“jj, can you just shut the fuck up?” you snapped. he looked up at you, a little surprised at the intensity in your voice.

“like, i know the other pogues aren’t the only ones that are tired of this back-and-forth shit.”

jj looked up, meeting your eyes from across the room where you sat next to the door. he had a little doubt in his eyes, and he hesitated for a minute before standing up and moving to sit down next to you.

you knitted your eyebrows together, confused about the close proximity. jj looked down at you, silent as he observed the all-too-familiar features he liked to secretly trace with his eyes when you weren’t looking.

“i…”

you had no idea where this was going.

“i’m sorry.”

you blinked. “what?”

“i said i’m sorry. i’ve always kind-of been a dick to you,” he mumbled, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers as he avoided eye-contact.

“kind-of is an understatement.” he shot you a playful glare, and you laughed. “i should be apologizing, too, jj. i made things much more serious than they needed to be.”

jj locked eyes with you, and suddenly you felt that feeling again. that first emotion when you first saw him at that party.

you seemed to finally remember how gorgeous he was, with his sea-ridden beach-blond hair that fell onto his forehead perfectly and those sweet blue eyes. they looked dazed, just like they did at the party, except he wasn’t high or drunk. he was with you.

to him, it felt the same. even better, actually.

“look— i gotta be honest, okay?” he started, nervously biting his fingernails. you nodded. “all that stuff i said about you being a kook was.. well, it was just me trying to be a jerk. i don’t actually think of you as one of them. y-you’re a pogue. one of us.”

“thank you,” you said quietly, a small smile painting across your face.

“and— i never hated you. i just didn’t want to confront my feelings because i don’t do feelings. so i made myself think that you were a bitch and—“

“wait, what?”

he stopped, and you felt like the weights had been lifted off you shoulders. it wasn’t just you?

”feelings? what do you mean by that?”

jj’s eyes widened, and he took a deep breath as he ran a hand through his hair. “fuck i— i said to much, okay? just.. ignore what i said—“

but before he could finish his anxious rambling, you cupped his jaw with your palm before leaning in to press a soft kiss against his lips.

it was mind-altering. you had always dreamed that this would happen, but then you’d kick yourself for thinking such a thing. now, you realized it wasn’t such a stupid thought as jj kissed you back.

you finally pulled away to catch your breath, and you laughed softly. jj had the biggest grin on his face; like a little kid waking up the morning of christmas.

“you—“

“yeah, jj. i like you, too,” you whispered, grabbing one of his hands and lacing your fingers through them just like you wanted to at that party.

“you’re not just doing this so that you can leave this room?”

you gave jj a look, and he laughed. “yeah, i am, actually. i kissed you because i want to leave this room that badly.”

“hey, what are we gonna tell the pogues?” he asked. you shrugged.

“i have no idea.”

“what if we just, like, smooched in front of them? y’know, a lot.”

“please never say smooch again.” he frowned. “and you’re just saying that because you wanna kiss me again.”

“you know me too well,” he breathed out before leaning in to kiss you one more time. he then pulled you up with him off the floor, about to bang on the door and tell the rest of the pogues that you guys made up. but he stopped himself, turning to look at you.

“can i be your boyfriend?” he asked, a nervous waver in his voice. you smiled, taking a minute to gaze at his face before nodding and squeezing his hand.

“of course, jj.”

and this time, he didn’t have to look for the sincerity in your eyes.

authors note : this is my first fanfic so any constructive criticism would be appreciated ! thank you for reading . 💞

[hero-next-door]

Defending Nathan Prescott

(From Every Accusation)

All fact proven & common sense theory

No bullshit.

I suck at grammar. Deal with it.

I've replayed the game far too many times to gather this. I read into everything and even read into and WATCHED people who have suffered the same mental illness and situations Nathan has been in.

What I'll be covering:

Illness, rib breaking, dead animals, bdsm, Chloes pic, Rachel, gun on campus, Kate, Pompidou, Jefferson, wealth and his father.

And dont even THINK about skipping ahead!

Everything here is tied into one another. Read from start to finish. You're on this post to understand, right? Or to argue? Im not here to argue so, bye.

Lets start from the top...

Nathans downfall was caused by society and all who failed him. He's driven by hatred of others who don't understand him, and the game purposly wrote him off that way. They want players to hate him from what sides of the stories we've experienced. They gave this character controversial hobbies and a cynical bully attitude to really keep you suspecting him and not guessing Jefferson. The game isn't about Nathan. It's about Max. We learn so much about Max and everyone close to her. The tears they shed, the pains they've endorsed. Same with Chloe and Rachel's story. My heart goes out to all of them. We don't get to see that with other characters. Therefore, we don't care for them...or that's the games' intentions. We don't know the ins and outs of Nathan. Only what the game shows us, which are all negative. So, of course, disliking Nathan is only reasonable.

Mental Illness

We start with mental illness. He has Psychosis. Lots of proof, but i'm assuming you've seen it all already. Like, do people know what Psychosis is? Do they REALLY know what it is? Because this ALONE changes everything. And not Psychopathy ..Psychosis. Two different things, pookie. Psychopathy is the one where part of the brain is missing or disturbed. THEY'RE the ones that don't have empathy. Psychosis is different. Anybody can get it. This illness can take your empathy and awareness away, then bring it all back after the harm is done, leaving you to process that. Schizo and Bipolar are also all quite a handful to deal with too. Loud Noises/downgrading voices in your head SO LOUD that people will do anything to calm them. (Dont be shy, youtube: "28- Psychotic Episode" by Collège d'Alma) The feeling of loosing your mind is something I notice a lot of haters dont empathize on especially if they killed or hurt sombody. The brain slips into a state so disconnected that interviews with recovering patients I've seen describe it as confusing and scary and dont recall saying the stories they told and actions they did others. Imagine not being able to remember the hurtful things you've said and done. Imagine being told you killed somebody... with your own hands? And you can hardly remember what happened. Like... how would you react? Think about it. Anybody can get psychosis with enough trauma or a kick in the noggin. Some people who were interviewed that had psychosis said that they found relief when getting high or drunk. Little did they know the symptoms could bounce back up to 5x during withdrawal. But they were so desperate to get rid of the voices that they abused the drugs. Like....wow the game really did their research to create such a complicated character. Anyway, moving on.

Edit: After further research, he certainly had bipolar disorder first. Then it went left untreated, therefore sunk him to worse mental state of many other illnesses. Drugs only made things much, much worse. Bipolar disorder can cause schizo and schizo to lead to psychosis. 🙄Jesus Nathan quit hogging all the illnesses.

Now, let's break down everything else...

Shooting Chloe

Just rewatch it. Aims gun, Chloe pushes him, it tightens grip, ACCIDENTLY shoots her, immediately drops gun and gets really scared of he's done, checking to see if she's alive! If you specifically rewatch the ending of Lis1 when Chloe gets shot, they extend his reaction. He goes back and forth, checking her body. If he wanted to kill her, you check pulse and then run. Not sticking around crying about it. There's your empathy you're all saying he doesn't have. Other times where he could have shown more empathy ties with his Psychosis. Some people with the illness said that the voices loudly in their head will convince them that everyone around you is your enemy. Everyone is after you. It can twist your brain to feel anger and fear towards others. Nathan is always hung up on how everyone is using him and trying to control him. Which people ..DO use him. So now he's convinced that everyone is. He's not choosing to feel this way. He just needs psychiatric help.

Breaking Ribs

In Before The Storm, his entire demeanor is completely different than the Lis 1. He's more cowardly and not loud and aggressive. We'll be mentioning his creepy "pervy" binder later. Nathan isn't violent until the end IF you let Nathan get bullied and push his life in a negative direction. Sure, it's not Chloe's responsibility, but this is the game's way of showing you his downfall. We need to remember the game hides scenes and expect you to make up what happened behind the scenes. He broke Samantha's ribs over ..what? She's always so desperate to defend Nathan and even gets upset with Chloe when she doesn't help. So, if you tell her the wrong option to pressure kindness into Nathan, it results in him breaking ribs. How, though? Haters immediately hop online to say cause he's a mean and abusive non-empathic nut head. Are you sure he didn't just push her away, and her clumsiness just fell over? This took place after the play...so he possibly...pushed her off... 😰 She did say she was clumsy. You don't think she would have tried to hug or touch him in any way. Ok ok...calm down... Let's take a step back.. You get this "breaking ribs," ending from letting Nathan get bullied and embarrass himself during the play that his father pressured him about! Adding a little "..fuck you.." to the audience. Showing his start to his villain career and the start of him hating everyone, and you tell Samantha to go hug him!? This is the start of his mental spiral if you let things play out this way. But hurting her with intention? No. Lets tie this in with the other endings to their relationship. You get the clumsy ending. She hurts herself differently, and Nathan is with her in the hospital. Saying how he feels bad that she got hurt. (empathy bell) And they continue yo talk about her photo or whatever. Tie this with the rib one, tie this with the Chloe getting shot incident, and tie this with his mental illness. Come on, do i gotta spell it out for you.. Hurting someone is not what he attends to do. Like he quotes in his voice mail. (Speaking of that voice mail, empathy bell.) He does get angry at Samantha and hurts her, and we as players dont know the full story. But what was playing in his head seconds before and the entirety of the game that led up to this IS the reason why he accidentally hurts her. His anger from the entire game was built up and, unfortunately, released on her. Whatever happened, breaking her ribs was not on his to-do list! And then we have.. The good ending. He sits beside her, smiling.

Oh, wait! He's a little psycho with no human emotion? Psychosis has all parts of the brain attached, pookie. For most cases, It can be cured and helped. I can get it. YOU can get it. He has human emotions when he is at his very rare peaceful moments like with this good ending, when with Victoria ig and other scenes we tend to forget. Because painting him as the villain was the games goal. Jefferson was the plot twist.

Daddy Issues, Smug Talk, and a Gun on campus

Simple guys. Simple. You represent this school. You represent our name. This is a legacy. You will not embarrass me. This isn't about you or your problems!

Sure, YOU wouldn't crumble under that pressure, but Nathan sure did. Sure, child abuse isn't an excuse to "kill" people. But is it the child's fault? Sean-beanbag prescott should be arrested for not taking his boy to the asylum. Instead, he argues with a doctor!? Goofy, bro. But so many people are fueled with anger towards Nathan instead. It's whatever. Prescott, literally being his name, was already a red flag to other characters and chose to hate and bully him over it. Drew hated for what his FATHER did. Nathan did ..what again? Notice how that "rich Malfoy talk" wasn't really present in Before The Storm. Sure he tried to burn Drew with a family financial situation insult but the "Im rich, my father owns everything, I got a lawyer, money this and that" wasn't in his character in the Before the Storm. I believe being a prescott wasn't really in his future goals, and he wasn't ever really passionate about it. It's all in the annoyance in his tone with his father before the play. Lis1 he uses it so often to show that he's the boss and in control. He is influenced by representation for his family/school, wealth, intimidation, and of course hatred and believing everyone hates him. In his mind, everyone is against him, after him, and wants to use him. Again, he doesn't choose to think this way. Let me explain my last sentence clearly, though. Imagine being surrounded by a ton of people. All their attention is on you. They hate who you are. They talk about you. You have a defensless stomach sinking feeling and scared because all these people surrounding you are looking at you and all your insecurities and laughing at you. Well, obviouslysome of that is not going on in reality. But to Nathan, that IS his reality, and he has no control over it. Anyways I shouldn't have to keep explaining mental illness and how it stresses the brain. The bottom line is that his status and waving a gun around is what he thinks keep others out of his head. He can barely throw a punch. He had to use his head on warren, and did you catch when Max hit him in that scene? The dude was literally holding onto his face like he'd been battered. Like she did NOT hit that hard lmao. He's weak. He's always been the same tiny Nathan from before the storm. Just now, he uses masks for intimidation to stop his bullies, and anyone he thinks is "after him." He never meant to use a gun on anybody, just a threat. During the second scene where warren reunited a head butt with Nathan.. If you pull off warren, he barely even aims the gun when he runs away towards his room. Cowardly. He feels that he has to, to protect himself. He also uses his father as a threat, but clearly, that never worked. Also, I noticed him crying when you let Warren get crazy on him? Dudes apologizing and sobing? Guess that's not his first rodeo, rip.

Dead Animals

There is no proof he hurt animals. That's not really like him. He does have a list of illnesses, but Psychopathy isn't one of them. Y'all can keep yappin, but it's not. Clearly NOT one of them. He could have hurt an animal during an unaware episode, but there will not be any awareness behind it. Anyways, there are plenty of artists that do the same thing. Nathan is very passionate about photography and protraying solitary but not in the same way Jefferson does. Jefferson certainly uses that manipulation, but we'll get to that later. There are artists that like to shine on death in a positive light and in sorrow. There's also beauty in anatomy. It's not my cup of tea, but someone close to me can name me all kinds of gross organs and would be down to disect any animal. Yuck. But to them.. its fascinating, and they are the greatest people in my life. In love and in empathy. (NOT comparing my pookie to Nathan, PAUSE.) In anatomy theres Education and surprise. Death is also a theme and style too. Skulls and gore, super "rad" fukin "knarly."

BDSM Skip to (●) next part if needed

Ok.. so he's a little frisky. Y'all need to remember this is a fictional game first, okay? Lol Anyway, I can't defend him much here, but I got something. Firstly, the game WANTS you to suspect Nathan. Can't keep his room pretty and pink. They have to make it freaky and spooky. They paint Nathan as the villian for you to only focus on him as a suspect. So that everyones jaws are dropped with Jefferson twirls in.

Anyway...defending BDSM? This can bring trauma to those who have experienced it negatively or view it negatively. So skip to the Frank defense or read more if you want.

Bdsm relationships are very controversial. Some people see it as unhealthy, abusive, and sick. But if you have talked to or listened to other people within these relationships, they state that its completely consensual, safe, harmless, a breach of deep trust with their partners, and simply a fetish or kink The goal is to have fun at your limit..not pass the limit. There are twisted people who have broken that barrier and made it not fun and abusive. That's where I can't argue. If you feel that way towards the topic, I completely empathize with you.

Nathan has shown in his other photos a black and white theme of solitary. And you can tell that he might have taken those bdsm photos himself. As the quality is almost like the Pompidou photo. Everyone blends him taking bdsm photos with his angry behavior and "non empathic" demeanor. But this is where I loop back to Before The Storm hugging-my-binder Nathan. It's shown that in one of his endings, he took photos of Samantha. Obviously, NOT bdsm photos. His binder was a school project. But Samantha obviously consented, and Nathan was passionate enough to show her. He sees them as art. Naked girls have been models for sculptures and paintings. Its beauty. That's IF she was naked in some way in those photos. Which I still doubt. School project. Im sure the photos were gentle and strange and misunderstood, and Drew was just in his bully era. His reaction would have been a lot more eye-opening if he had a face full of tits or straps. Nathan begged for his binder back and even nervously reacted, showing he had love for his work and 'took time with it' (as he quotes when Drew throws it). I bring this up here to show that the women in his photos were indeed given consent, and if hes passionate about depicting his art, hurting them wouldn't be on his agenda. As we all learned today that hurting people was never his intentions until drugs and illness met with pressure and intimidation clouds his brain.

I read up on other artists that painted things similar. In their paintings, they expressed dread, vulnerability, feeling traped, and ..feeling used. If Nathan did find the images he took arousing, then why would he hang them up like everything else in his room like art? I believe that they're depicted in an artful way and in its black and white shading brings a sad darkness. If it's anything like the painters I mentioned, maybe Nathan has a deep level of empathy we don't understand.

●Frank and Pompidou

I didn't even know he took a picture of Franks hurt dog in the road because you little freaks threw his treat in the street!? This will also tie in to chloes pic, but we'll get to that. Frank first, as it's pretty simple. Nathan runs some system with Frank. And it's pretty obvious it's the same thing Drew was doing in Before the Storm. Nathan clearly doesn't like it as he finds it controlling, but getting his hands on drugs is a great way to forget his flaws and calm his illness symptoms. Which only created a loop of his symptoms worsening, as talked about before. His illness is very active towards the end of Before the Storm. You can tell by his huge character difference that drugs only made it worse.

Pompidou is a good dog, but just remember he's not the one who hurt him. This ties in with what we explained in the dead animal phase. The Imagine is black and white. It's a strange art most people don't understand. Man, I don't even understand it. But these people aren't heartless, and they're simply expressing pain. Or.. he took it for the same reason he took Chloes pic. To feel that he's in control, thinking this will help his mental reality of thinking everyone can use him, as explained earlier. But i doubt it. One is in color, and Pompidou is not. One is misguided, and one is "art."

Jefferson, Rachel, Kate, Chloes pic

If i see one more person throw him in the same trash bin as Jefferson, im going to puke. Anyway, I've twisted my head around this story so many times, begging to see the bigger picture. No pun attended. Jefferson was pulling the strings all along ..you know that, right? If Nathan was never there, Jefferson would have still done his disgusting projects. He certainly brought Victoria over without Nathan's usage. He didn't need Nathan, Nathan just made it easier cause he can easily be manipulated. Making Nathan do it all so the consequences will fall on him. Jefferson is smart and knows the right words to say. Nathan is missing the kindness of a father figure. All he has to do is play with his feelings. Nathan falls too easily to kindness. He felt the kindness of Samantha during the good ending, and He felt the kindness from Victoria.. but Victoria toxic bully nature wasn't helping. The bottom line is Jefferson easily manipulates him and understands his mental reality and uses that against him. Adding thoughts into Nathans head. Jefferson learned to use Nathan's illness to his advantage. Nathan trusted Jefferson as did everyone in that school. Why on earth would Jefferson wrong him? He looked up to him, so when Jefferson slowly brought him into his plans of drugging girls, Nathan thought that it was all ..moral. In reality, you and I know obviously that's not okay, but to Nathan (and his severe illness), he trusted Jefferson was doing no wrong. We don't understand the mental strain he was under. Manipulation goes a long way. Heres how he did it. He probably said things like 'We are the same Nathan, this is art just like yours.' It starts small, Nathan gets him the drugs. Then he pulls him in, and Nathan starts drugging the girls for me. Start driving them here. Start helping me inside the dark room. Start helping me inject my victims. Jefferson had so much power over him. He was connected with his father. He can threaten his grade, his representation, and his future in art. He knew all the right things to say and do. He knew how his head worked. Clog him up with drugs, and keep him quiet. Heal his missing father needs and demand him for your needs. Does this not make Nathan a victim, too?

Then ...the Rachel incident happened. Nathan was NOT mentally aware of what he's done. The excited "Rachel!" When he saw Max at the diner clearly shows that he truly expected her to pull up. This mixes with the symptoms we've discussed. He only remembers bits and pieces as obviously it was beyond traumatizing. Sending him in an insane spiral and the infamous psychosis drawing. (Don't be afraid, google psychosis drawings. Damn. Just imagine you recovered from psychosis and laying eyes on that and not remembering you drew that..ugh...I'd cry.) Someone with Psychopathy wouldnt feel traumatized from such events, debunking the fact everyone thinks Nathan has Psychopathy. He doesn't have Psychopathy, he has psychosis. Moving on. Jefferson was certainly angry with him and drugged Nathan himself after the incident, which really helped Nathan to forget what he's done. But Jefferson's anger and not talking to him tore him apart. His emotional attachment clearly wasn't having it. The note he wrote Jefferson in desperate attempt to bring him back after ruining Jefferson plans goes to show just how much he wants that sense of being cared for. If only it was someone else that wasnt Jefferson ..or his dad can do is fucking job too.

Alcohol was certainly a great method of forgetting what he did. So then comes Chloes' interaction with him. We know the story. He did not SA her, I can say that right here and now. Nothing like that was behind this. You can tell by the way Chloe presented the story to Max. There wasn't an uncomfortable tone to her story. She didn't seem traumatized but more shocked, and "it was pretty crazy." She also wasn't drugged for that long. She woke up very soon, fully clothed. What obviously happened is that Nathan used this to feel in control like the mentioned way above. Drugs and Psychosis is no jokes. Who knows what hell is playing in his mind, but I unfortunately believe that this was to try to win back Jefferson. He had been angry at him and ignoring him, and even tho he hates drugging, his confusion and drunk state led him to this. He's cowardly, and his mind is slipping and tries to do what he thinks is right for him. He's misguided and leads down the wrong path.

Nathan did not SA Kate! Kate story breaks my heart into a million pieces, but if she was SA-ed, it wasn't Nathan. After everything I said above, you can tell that that isn't in his character. But here I want to bring up the voicemail. Nathan claims multiple times that he never wanted to hurt anybody, implying that he felt forced to do harm. Something he DID NOT want to do. Why on earth would anybody have felt forced to SA somebody!? I'm not saying Kate WASN'T SA-ed as I can only assume maybe the boys she was shown with in the video did something or Jefferson. Victoria was Kates bully!!! Nathan wanted to be liked by Victoria and was influenced by her nature. He's desperate for attention and kindness. Victoria did far more to hurt Kate and her reason as to why was shit. You go THAT FAR to one up your photography game. Girl, bye. She spread that video, and she still has empathy, too? Her regretting everything? Did she reallyy regret it? Or did she want to make herself look good for her representation? She showed regret via text message in Before The Storm, too? She doesn't have a mental illness, but the game gave her an act of forgiveness and used her as a victim so the audience would sympathize with her. Goes to show you the game controls what they want you to feel. If they were to do that with Nathan..would opinons be different? Taking us into his mind and how he sees the world around him. They could have..but didnt. Well.. We have the voicemail, but obviously, that didn't stop the haters. It's unfortunate. But the game gave me just enough little clues for me to shine light on in this post. They put so much into his character but never showed the audience the truth.

Conclusion

What we've learned today is that Nathan isn't the villain you think. He's been manipulated, used, and needs mental help, but im sure my old Nathan-defending friends have said this time and time again. Im here to add something....

It's been PROVEN that he's capable of all human emotions. You just refuse to believe it because you're mistaking his illness and claiming all of this was intentional. Psychosis can be temporary. It's like a hand that steals your common sense, feelings, empathy, and sympathy, and you're only left with acting on pure chaos and negative or fearful emotions. After long treatment, your sense of reality returns, your feelings, your empathy, your sympathy.. And all you have now is guilt and regret and self blame that you hurt somebody. If you let Nathan kill Chloe, he is arrested. He had doctors aware of his illness and would have been charged with illness in mind. Forcing the treatment he needed ages ago. By the time Lis 2 came out... I wonder how he's taking it all in? What he did to everyone, what he did to Rachel.

He was written off to die, be locked up, and blamed. Unfortunately, he was caught in the crossfires of the harm of our favorite characters. If he was born in a different family and away from Jeff, he would have never hurt anybody. Matter a fact, he would never have suffered with his listed mental illnesses.

This goes out to all real accidental murder cases. There will always be a great divide in opinions. I hate comparing fictional games with real life, but I find it crazy that we call others nonempathtic when they aren't empathic themselves. It's like the word "accidental" is worthless.

Its always a debate..

Do we feel bad for the lives lost and their families

or

Do we feel bad for the mental crumble of the one who never meant to kill and how their familes have to deal with that.

Are they worthy to walk this earth? Are they worthy to see the daylight again? Are they still human, too? Should they die, too? Is redemption possible?

Who knows. Peoples opinions won't change unless they themselves fall onto the opposing team. If they were to suffer the chaos of accidentally murdering someone or the grief of losing someone from an accidental murder.

Red Nathan, the first Nathan we all experienced from Lis1. Damaged and doomed. Used and mentally obstructed. It's unfortunate things ended this way.

Blue Nathan, Appears in Before the slStorm and Max's alternate timeline. He is clean and hasn't touched drugs. He had not been involved in crimes or violence yet. In this alternate timeline, he has been somehow saved and kept away from mental destruction and Jefferson. We will never really know what drove Nathan towards this peaceful path, but I assumed that it was the kindness of Max that led him in the right direction. (Max somehow changed Victoria, too. With her demeanor being so gentle. I really am curious about the whole back story of that timeline... I think about it alot)

[fipindustries]

the first lesson

"belief" chuckled the old man as he turned a delicate glass that contained some opulent limonchello "let me tell you something about how wizards trade in belief"

he was bald, with wild curly hair growing to the sides like the branches of a bonsai tree. he was also rather fat, not in a way that made him look flabby but rather round as a whole. his body could be easily drawn as a circle from which his head poked out, if some leeway for stylization were allowed to the artist. he wore a dark suit and dark round glasses as well as a simple goatee.

"do you lock your doors at night with a key?"

"uh... yes, teacher"

sitting in the small round table at the bar, across from him, was his student. a nervous lady, taller than him and far thinner, with a suit similar to his, dark and antiquated. they looked like undertakers. maybe they even were.

"wise thing to do, given your residence"

The student pursed her lips at this but made no comment. for reasons she could not understand her teacher was fond of making fun or criticizing her economic situation. and for sure there was a lot to complain about, she would do as much regularly, but her teacher seemed to be weirdly fixated on this. he would drop comments about it, cheerfully and casually and she would not respond to any of them and little by little the grains of sand would keep accumulating in the back of her head.

"so every night, before you sleep, you lock the front door of your room with a key, you put the key in the locke and you turn it once, and then twice, and you make a habit out of this, so much so that you do it unconciously, it is an automatic gesture with no thought put into it at all. you dont think to yourself 'now the door is locked', is just a truth of the universe, unacknowledged and yet all the same internalized"

"is this a story or is this your speculations about my life?"

"everything is a story if it's not meant to be literally true, maybe it is true, but that is not my intention"

"very well continue, teacher"

"so the next day, when you wake up and need to step out into the world, before doing that you unlock the door. now this is very important, you don't have to take a few moments to collect yourself and wonder if wether you locked your door last night, you dont have to take stock of your memories and recall that indeed you put the key there before going to sleep and locked the door tight, you just unlock the door because it is a deeply accepted truth that the door is simply locked"

"and the only way to unlock it is with a key"

"the only way indeed! very good!"

she didnt need to add that comment, and if it had been simply up to her whim she would have remained silent and let the man continue his lecture. but she had learned that her teacher enjoyed these interjections, however superfluous they might be, he always recieved them with joy and enthusiasm, as if she had solved a mystery or shown a deep insight. this was another of his weird quirks that she entertained simply because they seemed to make her interactions with him more frictionless.

"and now," he continued "imagine one day you go to a party and drink copious ammounts of alcohol, quantities large enough to make you dispossesed of your wits, not that i suggest you would actually do such a thing, at least not on the regular" the teacher gave her an unwanted wink "so your friends carry you back home and you stumble your steps up to your front door and once inside you are so out of sorts that you simply forget to lock the door, after which you fall into your bed and go to sleep"

"is this something about how my compromised state makes me believe for one night that ill be safe even though i havent locked the door or something?"

"not at all, you sleep soundly all night without being attacked, who knows, maybe burglars and robbers were busy in other houses or other parties, getting themselves merry and drunk, whatever the case may be you wake up the next day with no memory of last night, with quite a hangover, sadly there are no pills or medicines that can aid you with your malady at your home, so you will have to go to the corner drugstore to get something to let you handle your headache"

the student pursed her lips once again. there was a drugstore at the corner of her street, so this story not being about her seemed just a fraction less likely, but then again, there were drugstores at the corners of many streets.

"so you unlock your door and step outside, it's a lovely day with the birds singing and the sun shining and you go to the farmacy and buy the medicine you need to handle your hangover, end of the story"

"but how could i have unlocked the door if the door was already unlocked?" she said mechanically, knowing that this was the obvious question the story was baiting.

"exactly! very good my student!"

an overstated praise for a trite question. maybe her teacher just enjoyed being humored.

"for you see, to you it was not a matter of assuring yourself that the door was locked, to you it was simply a truth of the world, as profound and unquestionable as that things fall down"

"i see, and that is the level of belief i have to master in order to do magic?"

"more or less, yes" said the teacher sipping the limonchello.

"seems difficult to achieve without extensive use of manipulation, doublethink, brainwashing or psychodelics"

"hmm? what do you mean?"

"that...to internalize a belief that profoundly, seems hard to do without a lot of mental effort, without a rather strong amount of self deception and psychological trickery"

"i really dont know what you're talking about, you just have to believe, is the easiest thing in the world"

"it's... not, it's very much not, to believe, to truly believe, to actually thoroughly change one's mind about the nature of reality, against proof, against evidence is basically impossible"

"is that what you believe?"

"is-" oh, that was the trick. she had to internally stifle a groan. her teacher had pulled another of his dumb rethorical tricks. he seemed to be just as delighted when she failed to catch on as he was when she stated the obvious.

"that is the first belief you have to change, indeed is the first belief that all wizards have to change when they start" he said, chuckling again.

"that is the first spell that every wizard casts" she said, completing the thought.

"now" said the teacher, pulling out a small box with a large lock on it from his cape. he placed it on the small table, in the middle of the glasses, and then he pulled a key from a pocket. he put the key on the lock and turned once, and twice. then he put the key back into his pocket. "i want you to open this box"

the student looked at the box. so that was her challenge, to find the way to believe in her heart of hearts that this locked box was actually open. no, not even believe in hear heart of hearts, not even to know, really. this had to be something that trascended awareness.

she took a big gulp from her beer. she was going to fail the test so she wanted to steel herself to be embarassed.

obviously it was impossible for her to rewrite her brain right there and then and she was not even going to try. there was going to be no clapping while saying that she believed in fairies. that was just not how actual beliefs about the world were formed.

if it was a trick that all wizards had to master, she didnt have the instruction or the tools for how to do it. she looked at the box a little more. her hands hovered over it, hesitating. the moment she placed her hands on it and failed to open it, the test would be done and she would have failed and the was no circumventing that. she just wanted to delay the pie to her face a little longer.

of course, because she was her, she couldnt help but actually pause and still try her best to find the answer to the conundrum. she covered her mouth with one hand and scratched her mane of curls around her head with the other, like she did whenever she was deep in thought. her brow deeply furrowed with concentration.

And then she realized the true nature of her test. how dissapointing. it was a dumb trick of course. she placed a finger on top of the box and said "abracadabra"

She then opened the box.

"marvelous! marvelous! exceptional! very good my student! not even i did better than that when i was faced with the test!" exclaimed the teacher while clapping enthusiastically.

She was well and truly tired of her master's condescention.

"you didnt lock the box when you put the key in, you unlocked it" she said, rolling her eyes "the box was unlocked all along"

"exactly! precisely! the box was unlocked all along, just like the door in my story was locked all along!"

"no! no that is not the same thing!" insisted the student banging the table with her fist "in your story, someone believing that a door is locked changes reality retroactively to make it so that the door was always locked, but in my case the box was actually unlocked all along!" the ruckus made one of the waiters show up with a confused look in his face

"well yes, that is the point, that is what changing reality retroactively is supposed to look like, like it was unlocked all along" the teacher turned towards the waiter "thanks for showing up, what is the cost of these beverages, garçon?"

"that would be 30 in total"

"ah! very well, now you see i am a magician, so allow me a bit of flair" said the master waving his hands around in a very theatrical way "your fee is inside that box being held by my lovely assistant, my dear girl would you hand the box to our waiter?"

She rolled her eyes and gave the box to the poor confused man. who grabbed it and tried to pry it open. but he couldn't.

"um... is the box closed?" asked the waiter, out of sorts.

"oh? it should be opened, try again" said the old man.

the waiter struggled a little more but he could not open the box in any way. finally he turned to the teacher with forlorn expression.

"i give up, what's the trick?"

the old man reached behind the waiter's left ear and pulled out the key.

"here why dont you try with this"

"that is a really old trick" said the waiter while he unlocked the box and pulled out the money from inside it. he returned the box by forcefully pressing it against the old man's chest.

"what i nice lad!" said the teacher, while putting the key into the lock again and turning it once and then twice again. "anyway, where were we?"

the girl was just looking at he teacher, a mix of confusion, annoyance and a little bit of fear on her face.

"ok, how did you do that" she asked.

"i didnt do anything, you did, you opened the box"

"no, that... that was a trick, the lock is a clever mechanism or something"

"you are thinking like a magician, and i am asking you to think like a wizard, you opened this box, my dear girl, because you believed that it was opened, you already did this trick once, now all you have to do" said the man, placing the box back into the table "is do it again"

she hesitated.

"this is still a trick, right? you rigged it somehow so that if i try ill be able to open the box?"

the teacher laid back on the chair, very satisfied with himself. he crossed his fingers over his belly. she somehow felt that this, out of everything he had done that night, was his most sincere display of pride in her.

"what do you believe?" he said

she reached for the box.

[intheholler]

reading an article for a class (appalachian studies) and i kept being reminded of u

https://www.guernicamag.com/lost-in-a-misgendered-appalachia/

[positive] [with no foul intent] [its a good article]

i have read this article a few times since you sent it in and i still don't exactly know how to express my thoughts on it.

first: amen

second: yall literally have no idea how it makes me feel when you say somethin appalachian-related reminded yall of me. for real <3333

third: time to get long winded and sentimental, because i've never considered it this way, but it's so true. when i think of appalachia, i dont think about lifted trucks and gun shows.

i think about my badass grandma who was a fiery divorced, sex-positive, weed smoking, unapologetic feminist in her day and who didn't take no shit from no mountain men.

i think about my gospel loving, soft spoken mama who loudly loved jesus, a woman anyone would write off as an average "southern christian white lady" on the surface. how she didn't bat an eye when i nervously told her i was gay as a preteen. i think about how she hugged me and told me how much she loved me, how not everyone was gonna be nice about it or understand but that i was going to be safe and it was gonna be okay. how when i was a kid she stood up to that fire n brimstone southern baptist preacher and got us the fuck out of there.

i think about one of my best friends in high school, a visibly queer butch lesbian in our tiny bible beating western NC town. how fucking brave and cool she was for being one of maybe three "out" queers at school and so visibly queer at that. i think about how she got married to a pretty girl last year in that same town.

i think about two of my close friends who had to grow up so heartbreakingly fast, a pair of sisters who were at the time so young but selflessly spent their free time caring for their terminally ill mother by themselves up in their lonely holler without ever lodging a complaint

i think about my sister who dropped everything to raise me when she was only 23, breaking her back and making shit work because no one else was gonna make it work for us. i think about how one of my great aunts literally cleaned out her bedroom to furnish mine when she learned i was sleepin on a shitty couch in a cold basement.

i think about my other great aunt who apologizes for absolutely no part of who she was and holds fast to her beliefs no matter what. i think about her filling her house with the warm smell of soup beans and biscuits that were gonna feed the whole family when they come later.

when i think about appalachia, i think about the women in my life. appalachia is divine and it is absolutely divinely feminine. it's the heart of these hills and patriarchy taints it like it does everything fuckin else.

as an aside, i really loved this section here. it was kind of empowering:

Despite our region’s diversity and passionate socialist and pro-union roots, many have bought into the capitalist terms and definitions inflicted upon us. The religiosity of the place exacerbates this messaging, and the prevalence of evangelical Christianity in rural hollers means we often internalize toxic ideas about ourselves. Or perhaps we have simply tired of fighting to be seen. The pressure of religious and economic patriarchy, particularly in an exploited region like this one, means we live inside a perpetually loaded question. Nothing is more exhausting than trying to prove you exist. But the consequences of surrendering are stark: worsening wealth gaps, lost histories, continued erasures of diverse people and ecosystems. To live in Appalachia nowadays is to live with our failure to break down systemic racism, and with our complicity in the abuse of our bodies, labor, and land by unregulated corporations and himbo charlatans.

whew, okay. anyway, thanks for sending this in <33 it really made me think. yall should check it out. it's a long read but its worth every syllable!

[youngpettyqueen]

I had a dream last night about a DS9 episode that doesnt exist and I dont remember the A plot but the B plot was Julian getting Worf to train him in combat and it was so good I just might have to write it

putting what I remember from the dream under the cut

it started off with Julian going to Worf and asking for his help with combat training. Worf was surprised by it, but agreed. I couldnt tell you where exactly this fell in the timeline but it felt like somewhere in season 6? camp 371 had definitely happened cause it gets mentioned. more on that later

it starts off pretty comedically cause Julian is just. very much not a fighter. Worf is constantly correcting him, and keeps knocking him on his ass. but Julian keeps getting back up, keeps trying again. this is all clearly combat training meant for a Klingon, and its obvious that Julian is struggling HARD with it, and the lessons arent really sticking so much as they are just bruising

gradually the comedic tone dropped as both Julian and Worf start to get increasingly frustrated. the others are also getting. concerned. because Worf is in a near-constant bad mood and keeps snapping at everyone, and Julian keeps healing his own injuries. so its obvious that this is now very much not healthy for either of them, but neither of them is willing to give up

it all comes to an explosive head during one of their training sessions, cause both of them are clearly bottling a lot of shit up and it all just blows up. and in the heat of the moment Worf isnt as careful as he should be, and accidentally hurts Julian pretty badly

everything's fine, of course. Julian gets patched up in the infirmary. but then him and Worf won't talk to each other and avoid each other for days. and at this point, the concerned parties intervene to see just what the fuck is up with these two

Jadzia talks to Worf. she sees right through his shit and knows that he's mad at himself. she gets him to admit that he's been furious with himself because he doesn't understand what he's doing wrong, as a teacher, that Julian hasn't improved. Julian came to him for help, and he feels he's failed him. Jadzia points out that Julian was never going to get very far on a Klingon training program. he's Human- augmented, sure, but still Human, even if he's too stubborn to admit that that might have its limitations in terms of what kind of combat he can realistically train for. she manages to get Worf to see that he hasn't failed as a teacher and he isnt horrible at it, he just needs to adjust his approach, and perhaps actually TALK to Julian about all of this. Worf isnt sure Julian will want to talk to him, certain that Julian blames him for his lack of progress and for injuring him, but Jadzia convinces him to at least try

meanwhile, Miles talks to Julian. Miles assumes Julian is mad that Worf pushed him too much, but Julian isnt. Julian's been mad at himself, blaming himself for the fact that he just cant get anything in this right. he praises Worf's teaching abilities, and blames himself entirely for being a bad student. Miles asks why Julian wanted to learn Klingon combat in the first place, since he's a doctor and not a fighter, and Julian confesses he's sick of being helpless when bad things to happen to him, and he wants to be able to defend himself. Miles suggests that he can learn to defend himself, but he doesnt necessarily need Klingon combat training to do so. he points out that Julian, as a Human, was always going to struggle with learning it. Julian insists he wants Worf to be the one to train him, and Miles says he should tell Worf that. Julian is hesitant to approach Worf, embarrassed about how he let himself get hurt and certain Worf thinks he's weak, but Miles pushes him until he agrees

Julian and Worf meet and talk. and it all gets aired out- they were mad at themselves, not each other, and its a relief for both of them to hear that. Julian admits to Worf what he did to Miles- that he wanted Klingon combat training so that he could defend himself- but he goes further and explains that he wanted Worf specifically to train him because of what happened at 371. he admires Worf's determination, his endurance, and seeing Worf handle himself the way he did, the way he kept going, he thought if he could be half that strong, he wouldnt end up being helpless again. Worf is surprised, and tells Julian he is all of those things- determined, enduring, strong- and points out how Julian lasted 5 weeks unbroken in that camp, and how in their sessions he always got back up and kept going. Worf admits to respecting Julian both as a healer and for having a warrior's spirit, and that he was honoured that Julian wanted him to be his teacher. Julian asks if Worf will still train him, then, and Worf agrees- but this time, they'll go with a training regiment more suited to Julian's abilities. they shake on it

episode ended with time clearly having passed, showing a sparring session between Worf and Julian. we see that Julian has noticeably improved and is much more confident holding his own against Worf, and even manages to knock Worf down. Julian celebrates, and Worf lets him have his moment before he sweeps his legs out from under him and brings Julian right down with him. Worf makes a crack about Julian needing to keep his guard up, and Julian just lies there laughing, and Worf even cracks a smile as we end

[love-is-a-pearl]

Alright, I will be honest:

I don't like Black&White saga cause it feels like flopoed retcon/reboot of pokeanime. Like, in the beginning it cut ties to previous sagas and regions. Like, after whole THE BUILD UP in Sinnoh, it felt like Ash got robbed. Also doesn't help that in beginning they isolated Unova pokemon from previous generations. And the thing is, is that 5 gen pokemon design already stylistically different from previous ones: more round, simplified.

Also, it didn't help that relationship with rivals are less close and tense than in Diamond&Pearl. Like, all other characters beside main trio feels shallow and caricatures. In Sinnoh, both Ash and Dawn learned something from their rivals, Paul and Zoe were REALLY IMPACTFUL to them. But when we compare Iris and Dragon huntress (yes, I don't even remember her name)... That's basic. Like, Iris's rival surved as plot tool few times at best.

But second part of saga is better (*cough - cough * cause Cynthia and Dawn came back *cough- cough*) : old pokemon are back, we see mythical pokemon in action. Also, I enjoyed Decolora arc!

Good points of BW:

I like Cylan and Iris. For Iris in particular... She feels like Misty's other version, but in a good way. I also like her story arcs with her team, like damn, homegirl got her own Suicide squad in pokeworld 😂.

Also, there's Team R... One one hand, it's was hard for me to see them drop comedy tone. On another hand, they demonstrated us how much dangerous they can be! Like, they got their business! Our trio was more menacing than whole Team Plazma, honestly 😅.

All in all, my main issue is that Black and White drop most of connections with Diamond and Pearl. Like, transition was too DRASTIC. But I do understand, that there ate people who adores 5 gen. I mean, I heard that 5 gen games was top tier. It's just, unfortunately, I stsrted to dwell into pokemon games since 6 gen, so I was unable to even play Black and White. Maybe in that case I watched anime in different context.

Also, I really like movies in that saga! Like Keldeo and Mewtwo (or Newtwo ( if you know you know)) put everything in their movies, and Victini's one with TWO DIFFERENT VERSIONS was low-key something in cinematic universe level.

... That was looong ask, but I really need that out of my chest 😅

Nah, dont worry, go and vent its the first step to overcoming trauma lol I joke but seriously, if everyone sat down to understand what they dislike and like about a season like that, things would be so much simpler :v

BW is totally an attempt to a soft reboot! But there's one thing I feel folks often forget: The games themselves were that too!!

The lack of pokemon pre gen 5 was something that came from the games, as unova was the first region outside of Japan. Pokemon company was trying to start anew from all sides and that ended up affecting the anime the most because for some reason, it was decided that they would star anew, but keep a familiar face in Ash.

And then we have the fact that the BW games got a sequel immediately after, Black and White 2, and the story on those was directly connected to the first games, showcasing an Unova 2 years after BW1 (highly reccomend them btw, some of the best overarching story in pokemon games ever)

And like, the anime started with the narrator just saying Ash was still 10!! Someone surely made that a rule in the background, so how could they tell the story of a Unova 2 years later with a main character that just couldn't age?

So the writers just had to do their own thing. And probably made up so much of it halfway and also explain why they just scrapped so many characters of the day post league. They just wanted some time for people to forget the first half of BW to try and implement things from BW2.

And that's the thing, this issue is not from BW only. We know for a fact that there were plans for Ash to leave the anime during Johto, but they couldn't just say goodbye to him, so he stayed. Black and White was just the culmination of that decision. And I feel like hating on it alone is just… not aknowledging that pokeani is flawed from the get-go yknow?

What made BW that weird is what made Ash and Serena and the Kalos loss weird, what made journeys weird and what made 2beamaster miniseries that FUCKING WEIRD.

BUT GOSH TRIO!! Now the way those 3 were handled in the season is one thing I can't excuse lmao

People love to talk how out of character Ash acts this season, even though is not even that OOC when compared to pre DP, but TR were the ones that felt like complete different characters! And while I enjoy the whiplash of Ash gang doing silly things overlapped with very serious evil dutiestm, I feel like that that was a bad decision throught and throught. I get that at first they wanted a Team Rocket vs Team Plasma situation, but doing that with the TRio is just so weird.

HELL YEAH, I LOVE THE NEWTWO MOVIE! It makes no sense but gosh Mewtwo2 and genesect's relationship is just so ADORABLE i love them so much. Is those kind of stuff that makes me sad about BW, folks see a mewtwo that is not the main one and they dont give it a shot, but is such a heartwarming story in the end.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale's Thoughts: Derision

So the new Episode dropped a bombshell. It revealed just how much Marinette's past impacted her.

And before I write out everything

I will be talking the Good and the Bad

Spoilers obviously

So to make this as simple as possible.

Chloé bullied Marinette for years. While most of the school students were terrified of Chloé. Even the teachers and Principal were afraid to do ANYTHING regarding Chloé. Considering how much influence her father as Mayor had.

Socqueline was like an older protective sister to Marinette. During this time, Marinette developed a crush on Kim, his Himbo butt. Chloé found out about that and used it as an opportunity. Using Kim's inability to tell when something is too far, goes along with Chloé's idea for a prank.

This results in Marinette thinking Kim was serious about a relationship only to be offered a box full of bugs and causing her to fall into a pool as Chloé mocked her. Thus explaining Marinette's MASSIVE trauma on trust and why she plans out everything, why she distrusts any friend of Chloé and why she must know everything about someone before she can let herself confess.

Now this is sort of crucial as it explains why Marinette is how she is. As well as why even though things are going great with Adrien she cant fully embrace it.

Lets start with

THE GOOD:

This allows us to explain a lot of Marinette's insecurity and mistrust. Marinette wanting to NEVER let herself be caught off guard also explains why she is so gunho about planning everything. It also give support on why she was so HARSH to Adrien in Origins. He embodies nearly everything she swore to be against falling for. Mysterious boy, Friend of Chloé, and hiding things. Adrien was Marinette's antithesis as a person to fall for... YET SHE DOES ANYWAY. Showing how good of a person Adrien is, and how Marinette's heart can feel that truth within her. It also explains why Marinette was so obsessive in learning EVERY single thing she could about adrien. It wasnt because she was obsessive or hyperfocusing, she was so traumatized from the pool incident she never wants to be caught in such a position again.

This also goes to show how Socqueline was more of an impactful person to Marinette. But does make me question why she would not even be MENTIONED in season 1 (aside from the obvious that this was tacked on this season). But also explains why Marinette keeps her hair like that, as a sign of respect to Socqueline.

This also shows how great Adrien and Marinette are together. Adrien is ready to defend Marinette, and he is willing to go to great lengths to protect her. (Even kill). It was great to see Adrien be so understanding and wanting to make sure she is comfortable every step of the way. And it just adds so much to Origins.

The Bad:

It really just makes almost everyone else involved seem really awful.

Chloé and Sabrina being such awful people to her that you would think Marinette would NEVER let them touch a miraculous, even if she was desperate. Kim too but... she never initially chose Kim and/or likely repressed that trauma filled moment as a mental defense mechanism. But definitely doesnt explain Chloé and Sabrina.

Damocles, Mendeleiev and even Sabine dont come off that good. Sabine only getting a few points by having Socqueline step in to watch over Marinette. Now I heard its hard to change schools in paris, but I think after 3 F***ING years Sabine and Tom would havve done something. So it really doesnt seem good here.

It also really lampoons all of season 2 and 3 for chloé's development. All those appeals of genuine emotion. Nope, always evil and vile. The fact Marinette and the rest of the class even TOLERATED Chloé is straight CAP.

Kim also just loses a ton of likability here. I dont care how oblivious you are, WHY would you think Marinette would enjoy a prank at HER expense, especially when suggested by someone like Chloé? Did Kim really not get Chloé was evil?

This episode also makes episodes such as Animaestro so much worse. Marinette KNEW Chloé's type of pranks and still went along with it. Like even if you repress that traumatic event, the 3+ years of bullying. Marinette's reason for NOT choosing her in Loveater suddenly feels WAY more justified and NOT a mistake. Girl has trauma.

Marinette's empathetic nature towards Chloé now seems completely foolish. Anyone that knew Chloé should be convinced she is a hell spawn.

The fact Lila is friends with Chloé should put everyone on red alert.

This really makes me wonder how Marinette can even be remotely understanding of Chloé. It also makes Maledikator SO MUCH WORSE. Everyone was completely valid in Partying. Like damn.

Though ignoring Chloé, I guess the main thing is that this flashback brings up things that clash so hard with previous seasons and episodes. In origins, it made it seem like marinette had no friends. But in truth, Marinette did have a friend, even if she wasnt in the same year. I know not everyone knows of the prank going too far thanks to Socqueline, but Kim seemed more than happy to talk about the prank. You dont think word spread through his dumbass mouth?

______________________________________________________________

Overall the episode brings up a lot of interesting tidbits about Marinette's character and is a net gain for the Adrinette relationship. But at the cost of previous canon and brings forth more problems than it solves.

I wish this was actually a two part episode where we could have gotten more to flesh things out. Maybe explain that Marinette feels guilty over Socqueline being suspended and stopped talking to her for a while. Or maybe that after the big prank. Socqueline showed up to Chloé's place and told her to back off since now there was NOTHING holding her back from an ass beating. There is more I feel like could have been done.

[bozepomagaj]

i was 15 when i watched made in abyss as well, finished the 1st season and promptly never touched it again because of what i learned about the author. From what ive seen from koreans they say that the version shown on korean tv is censored (which sounds plausible) which could mean that the weird parts that we skip may be cut out entirely(?dont quote me on that idk) soobin is on thin ice cause the 2nd season is worse and taeyong is in deep shit because i dont think there is any reason why someone should own the manga😟

I'mma preface this by saying I completely get everyone who couldn't stomach this series. It contains a lot of disturbing topics and at the end of the day, it's a horror series, of course not everyone is gonna be able to handle that, and again that's fine. But I can also say that this arc was surprisingly handled with a lot of care, wasn't fetishized nor glorified just... disturbing. Think of Outlast 2 or the ending of Amnesia:Rebirth.

TLDR:

Second season is way more disturbing but not as sexual in nature and Soobin most likely was talking about the fight scenes when saying how cool it was. And if he wasn't then who knows what he was yapping about, don't know him personally so I can't put words into his mouth unless he says something. As for Taeyong, can't defend him at ALL but calling him a p3d0 would still be a bit too much for me.

AND I wanna add after further investigation, Mingi said he didn't even watch it and instead dropped it because it was too much for him, so there's that.

For a more in depth explanation, here you go:

I'm gonna have to explain the lore in order for you all to understand this FULLY, so heres a summary:

The arc introduces us to Vueko, a victim of trafficking who was thrown into the Abyss with the rest of the now villagers because she wasn't deemed as someone useful. So obviously, when she meets Irumyuui, who has been exiled from her village for not being able to give birth at the age of 8, she immediately takes her in. As a victim, she understands her, and the author explains how, through helping Irumyuui, Vueko is able to heal her own trauma and heal Irumyuui as well. It's extremely well written, and as a fellow victim, there was something so sweet about seeing someone heal with the help of another. Especially when that someone acted like a mother figure. But of course, this is the Abyss. The point of the Abyss is that despite you thinking there's some light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't. Wazukyan takes that away, and Irumyuuis wish backfires (think of it like the wishes in Madoka, you get what you want but at a cost), and she gets turned into a horrible monster. But despite everything, she's happy because to her, she's fulfilled her purpose.

This is the part that I could discuss for hours because to me, it was commentary on how young girls even nowadayas are convinced by others that 'they have to find a man one day' and how having no kids is looked down upon. Especially in 3rd world countries. I could write an entire essay, but we're not here to do that.

I can tell you immediately that none of this was fetishized nor glorified in an yway, it's just supposed to make you feel absolutely empty because again, author is really trying to push that "oh you think you got the good end of the stick? Think again!" The manga if FILLED with situations like this, from Rico's origins to Nanachis arc, the subplot of this entire manga is 'how far are you willing to go to survive?'. Think of it like Fire Punch. Disturbing? Yeah, I mean, even I had to drop it once they began talking about trafficking women. Once again, I am comparing it to Madoka Magica but far more gruesome. Nothing explicit was shown, Irumyuui's private parts were never exposed, and her giving birth was also never shown. Her transformation WAS shown, but it's your basic body horror, like in most Junji Ito works.

SO, obviously if you're not a fan of the horror/seinen genre this is deeply disturbing and fucked but after seeing games like Outlast 2 and Amnesia: Rebirth, I wasn't as disturbed PERSONALLY. Again, recommending this publicly might've not been the smartest idea because you really do have to be into the horror genre to be able to handle topics like that. Even I just had to sit in silence for a couple hours after reading that backstory cuz damn, it hits you right in the feels. And most of the manga past that part just has badass fight scenes and when people praise it, they usually talk about that. From what I saw it was well animated and lots of clips were shared on tiktok, twitter etc. So there's a big chance he was talking about that.

(Examples of why people were hyping it up, even non-fans who had no idea about the series were going crazy because of this fight scene)

Now as for Taeyong... see now the reason I didn't mention him in the original post is because of that specific thing. I love the series and have come across physical copies of the manga but I know damn well I'm not buying cuz I don't wanna be seen supporting the author, purely out of spite. And saying 'oh well maybe he didn't know what the author is like'. Unlike some sites, physical copies DO include the extra chapters which contain stuff like this:

Totally unnecessary, not relevant to the plot and while some say it was added as a "haha funny joke" c'mon now. Let's use our brains. Now, would I call him a p3d0? Absolutely not. Would he be weird for this? To me, yeah. For anyone reading this, it's up for you to decide. I'm only here to answer questions about the series because I see people saying random stuff and making it seem FAR more worse just cuz they saw a couple tags.

[shera-dnd]

I'm really sorry to post my replies with images deemed NSFW.

Long story short - Varvara is being pretty much converted using Kyouka as a medium (indirect kiss etc.).

That is creepy and disgusting and should not be viewed as a Bi representation but as something homophobic and harmful.

It is even more creepy and disgusting when You took into this equation that Yuuki pretty much knew how she felt about Kyouka and even approved of said feelings.

Long story short - he should demand nothing, yet he demanded everything.

Once again and this time for the last - dont treat it as a Bi rep but as a something creepy and disgusting. And dont be okay with that.

Thank You.

Well good morning, this was the first thing I saw when I woke up. I feel like a lot of people would have chosen violence upon seeing this, but arguing with or venting at someone on the internet has never solved anything, so how about we make a learning experience out of this?

Okay so, no I did not delete your asks because they had NSFW imagery, I deleted them because they came across as very angry and accusatory

Now I'm not gonna hold that against you right now and we're just gonna have a chat. You said you were an ally to the LGBT community, so I hope that you will sit down and listen to what I have to say. You're free to disagree and argue, but at least listen first

On the point you are trying to make about that scene in the manga. I've decided to catch up on it so I could talk about it properly

And I have to say that I do not see it. Like I believe the term you're looking for is less "conversion therapy" and more "corrective rape". The idea that you can fuck the gay out of a woman is deeply gross and the fact people genuinely believe that is horrifying

BUT I don't think that's what's going on in that scene. It's framed as yet another reward, which as usual exists outside of the control of any of the characters and lands entirely in the box of "things the author thought would be hot at the moment"

It is also expressly said that they're "punishing" each other so that they can better serve Kyouka, once again centering their attraction not on each other, but on someone else

Considering also that from that point on nothing has happened to indicate Varvara was any more into Yuuki or any less into Kyouka than any time before that scene

Now as much as I loved to joke about and headcanon Varvara as a lesbian, I was never under any illusion that the ecchi femdom slave kink manga would give me proper lesbian representation.

Varvara had only expressed attraction to women before and now she showed attraction to a man, to me that shows less lesbian conversion and more like one of those tumblr bi women who absolutely adore women and also have that one pathetic man they're into

The way I read this it's whatever

But you read it differently and you have every right to be grossed out. You have every right to be angry and to drop the manga entirely. I'm not here to defend Mato Seihei no Slave

But I have to ask, as an ally, did you come to me because you wanted the genuine opinion of a queer person? or did you do it because you wanted a queer person to validate the opinion you already had?

Just, you know, do some self reflection on that

Anyways back to Chained Soldier, I'll admit there's plenty of gross shit in it. Like jesus fuck have you seen all the reward scenes with Ren??? and I'll fully admit that the manga is capital P Problematic

I just think that the way we should deal with problematic media is not by shutting it down entirely, but by actually engaging with it, understanding what makes it problematic, and making sure that we don't internalize those parts of it

Problematic media can have a lot of good stuff in it besides all the nasty bits, we just gotta like know how to engage with it in a way that doesn't like change our views for the worse

As for the impact this could have on its readers and how they treat lesbians in real life. I don't think anyone who reads this and actually engages with it will come on to any lesbians and be gross to them, because well Yuuki doesn't come on to... anyone actually.

Our boy is very passive about everything that happens and will downright refuse any sexual advances that are not tied to the rewards. He did not initiate the stuff with Varvara and did not force himself on her

And the people who WOULD come on to lesbians and think they can "set them straight", I don't think they need a manga to validate their disgusting beliefs

But you also said you wanted to contact LGBT organizations in Japan to help fight against this kind of stuff, and you know what you got the spirit there

I don't think a manga being gross is even on the top like 100 things those organizations are trying to deal with in that country, and even if it was there are waaaaaaaay bigger and nastier manga to deal with first

But hey that doesn't mean these people can't use our support, so please consider donating to Stone Wall Japan and Japan Pride House, both organizations that try to help queer people, as well as J-ALL which is trying to help grant legal protections to LGBT+ people in Japan

I'll be posting links at the end of this post and will happily signal boost any other japanese charities sent my way

And just as another note at the end

I disabled anon asks for a reason, and you creating an alt account just to send me an ask is extremely shady behavior. That's a boundary I have set that you chose to disrespect and I have every reason to block you for it. I won't, because I genuinely think you're just a person trying to learn and be validated in your opinion, but just don't do that kind of shit again

anyways I hope you take at least some of what I've said to heart and here are the donation links!

[kusuokisser]

oomf reblogged a bunch of aro stuff and in honor of pride hour (i made it the fuck up Dont ask me any questions i dont talk to paparazzi) i want to talk about MYYY experience being arospec because it is Isolating and even if this reaches literally no one id rather at least have tried to share my feelings. Spreading love! 💝

growing up i very quickly realized that i wasnt getting crushes like the other kids were. as early as second grade i started trying to force myself to like the boys in my class. id, like, look around the classroom at the start of every new school year and look for the next boy to have a "crush" on. It sounds kind of funny looking back but like i remember how desperate i felt doing it. i remember one year i genuinely hated every boy in my class with a burning passion and, if nothing else, i remember the feeling of being wrong. i, a 4th (maybe 3rd?) grader, felt isolated and gross because i couldnt force a crush for a year.

i had known none of the other ones were really crushes, but it wasnt the romance i wanted it was the connections. i wanted to be able to join the girls talking about their crushes and i wanted to have a reason to try talking to boys; i wanted to be liked.

in 6th grade i think was the first time i didnt try to force a crush. i dont remember much from that year but i know that i didnt feel good. youd think that, as an arospec, i would have enjoyed the break from faking romance but at that point i didnt understand that my feelings werent quite real. i knew they werent like everyone elses, but i really wanted them to be even if it meant lying a bit to myself on the way. i felt wrong and weird.

in seventh grade that was when covid hit and everyone was quarentined, and also that is the year that holds my worlds most obvious example of my aromanticism ever. genuinely think back to this and go "how didnt i figure it out sooner"

i convinced myself i had a crush on my at-the-time best friend. there was no crush by the way, i judt knew i liked him more than all my other friends and to my socially deprived brain that meant it had to be romantic right? well he didnt like me back and literally i went, watched like two YouTube videos on something or other, and was over it. because the feelings were never genuine. it was never love it was a desire to be close with someone

8th grade was the first time i actually fell in love. by then i had figured out im a lesbian, and i met this girl named Jane. She was literally everything you could want in a girl and i fell HARRDDDDDDD i was so in love dont even. but I found that my capacity to love her fluxuated. the love was always there, but some days it was more platonic than anything. sometimes thr platonic periods would stretch for weeks. sometimes it would switch between platonic and romantic multiple times a day. it confused me and honestly? it scared me a lot. i distanced myself from her and eventually we broke up (for seperate reasons but this def contributed)

that really messed with me because now i was left with two understandings: i can definitely experience romantic attraction, and the romantic attraction can change at the drop of a hat.

after a lott of time and research i finally realized and accepted that im aromanticflux (will go into detail if necessary) and you know what? it didn't make me feel better. if anything it made me feel worse; i felt like such an asshole for getting in a relationship if it was always going to end.

now i am. Still coming to terms with my identity but i am learning to love and be kind to myself. the point of this whole thing is. youre never alone. there are eight billion people on earth, at least one of them is going through the exact same thing as you right now. you are not any less of a person because of your attraction or lack thereof

[flockofdoves]

im going fucking cuckoo bananas. why is it so hard to fill my schedule to be a full time student for my last semester when i am infamously the type of person who wants to learn about everything ever and jumps at any opportunity to take random classes

have really really really wanted to take advanced spanish grammar for so long but every fucking semester i have a necessary class during that time (due to the epidemic of every class in the world being in late morning on tuesday/thursday) and this semester my One Singular Class I Absolutely Need To Graduate is at that time

so then i was like. oh well. i'll take italian 1 instead since my grandfather has been trying to plan one last trip to where his family is from and if i get to go it will be good to practice italian in a formal context

but then that trip fell through and i just really really want to improve my spanish so i emailed a class for heritage speakers to see if it would be appropriate for me and the professor got back to me and said i was welcome to come to the first class and try it out

and so today i went to the spanish for heritage speakers class and it made me so so excited to be immersed in spanish again and going over the content of the course, with the exception of how i don't really need much writing help since when i was learning all the basics of how to read and write i did that as much in spanish as i did english, all the grammar topics were exactly what i needed and the idea of a class where everyone talks at a high level and theres no english but you still get into the basics of explaining different grammar topics is so so refreshing!!!

and at the end of class the professor was like your spanish is at a high enough level for this class so if you want to take it then see you monday! and it got me so excited

and then the italian class was just really extremely basic. i understand basically anything said to me in italian and know a decent amount of vocab i just have trouble speaking but throughout my life i have at least studied basics like past and present tense and articles and stuff. so my goals were to learn more grammar and make my pronunciation better (i always pronounce everything so spanish and dont have a good sense for what words have which e or o sound)

but this professor was like yeah basically this whole course is just present tense and well learn the sinple past tense right at the end. but i already know that!!! and also unfortunately she has a noticeable american accent while speaking so thats not much help for improving my accent either

so i was like well whatever that makes my decision easy ill drop italian and take the spanish class. but still just in case i asked her about if i could take an italian placement test (was nervous about that originally because the next level up was during my necessary class again) and she was like yeah ive never had to do that before but i can figure that out for next week. which is a little nervewracking bc add/drop ends on wednesday. but whatever i was excited about taking spanish now

but then when i got home today i saw an email from the spanish professor (technically a grad student) like ‘i talked to my colleagues and even if your spanish level is high enough since you are not a heritage speaker here are some classes better suited for you [classes where you write huge essays in spanish which i do not have the time or desire for rn]’

and that was upsetting because i just really most of anything wanted to take a spanish class but then i was feeling a bit better because it turned out there was a new section added of the italian 2 class that fit my schedule and looking through that classes textbook it seemed the exact mix of easy but not boring because ill still actually be learning stuff that i needed. and i even called my mom (who used to be an italian language professor) and read the textbook units and she agreed it seemed exactly right for me

so i went to start writing an email to that professor to be proactive even before taking the placement test but in the fucking half hour since i had last checked the page rhat section of the class filled up with no waitlist

so i looked through the entire search of classes in a certain block of time not on tuesday thursday for my giant university and literally rhe only thing that seemed both manageable and interesting was an intro to japanese class. and i was excited like wow! how did i miss this when i was first searching for classes! only to click on it and remember i did see it and the reason it wasnt on my backup class list was because it doesnt allow seniors to take it

[seirren]

Can i have a bhna matchup plz

Pronouns: she/her

Preference: male students or heros plz

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence sassy sarcastic soft spoken

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body type black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime cartoons music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who dont take others into consideration people i care about not caring for themselves not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests

Extra: i pace a lot i sing when alone i talk to myself im a picky eater

Thank you

I match you with...

Midoriya Izuku!

♡ omg okay but listen, you guys are the sweetest couple ever!!

♡ izuku is similar to you. he is protective, helpful, shy, and kind. he also often talks to himself. due to your similar personalities, it’s not hard for you to get along with him. you tend to have same opinion as him and can understand each other very well. these lead to a peaceful and sweet relationship.

♡ izuku is used to be awkward and had low self-esteem as well. so, when he sees you struggling with your confidence, he’d be determined to help you. he wants you to know that you are amazing, that you are enough, and he absolutely loves you for who you are.

♡ izuku adores you. he loves how kind you are. he loves listening to your singing when you’re alone with him. he loves pinching your chubby cheeks. he loves running his hand through your hair. he loves spending time with you. he loves everything about you.

♡ does he have a notebook dedicated for you and you only? yes.

♡ you know, izuku is a nerd. he definitely has some comics and animes he’s obsessed with. so, when he knows you also like anime, cartoon, and fantasy... he’d be hooked. expect him to ask you bunch of questions regarding your interests. wait, you like this anime? oh, i also LOVE this anime! who is your favorite character? what do you think about the story? i think the ending should be different, but--

♡ yeah, he’d be ecstatic.

♡ if he didn’t know the anime/media you like, he’d ask you about it. he would also definitely read/watch it with you. he wants to know about the things you like!

♡ izuku is observant. he notices things other people don’t. he is also good in recognizing body language. combined with the fact that he is also protective, izuku will definitely keep an eye on you. when you accidentally drop your books, he’s there to catch it. when you are uncomfortable with the loud noises class 1-A make, izuku will guide you to quieter place. when you spot a spider on your desk and you’re afraid to remove it, izuku already scoops the spider and puts it somewhere else.

♡ however, well... there is one thing in your relationship that could make both of you upset. you are unable seeing people you love getting hurt, especially if they’re reckless. but, izuku is exactly the type of person who doesn’t really give much care to himself and often gets hurt to save others. you are upset because izuku keeps hurting himself, and izuku is upset with himself because he keeps making you worry.

♡ this problem could lead to fights. you just want izuku to take care of himself, is that so hard?

♡ eventually, though, you get into agreement. izuku promises he would try to be more careful. and, although not always, izuku really tries to keep his promise. he doesn’t want to keep upsetting you, after all.

[crownshattered-arch]

|| Okieee, still thinking about adding that one BotW/TotK oc....so I'm going to drop some facts about her and let you guys vote on your opinion on whether or not I should add her!! Please answer with your honest opinion. I hate adding characters, thinking that people will write with them, but then no one does..!! So if you guys think it will be worth it (and that you will interact with her), please let me know!! Otherwise, you don't need to spare my feelings~

Polls are very important on this blog, so even if this fandom doesn't apply to you, PLEASE STILL VOTE!! There will be an option for that!! okay onto the actual info~ (the poll will be at the bottom so if this doesn't apply to you, just scroll to the bottom to vote XDD)

Yumi is a BotW (and i guess now TotK) oc who acts as Link's companion in his travels~ She is an excellent archer and has sheikah slate-like abilities (which are everything in the OTHER menu, so she can store things like an inventory, check on missions, and even save and reload~).

At the beginning of the game, Link finds Yumi in the Great Plateau. As far as she's aware, she has lived her whole life on the Great Plateau, but for some reason can't actually remember having a family. She just knows how to use a bow and arrow exceptionally well and has a medallion that she wears around her neck of unknown origins. She just assumed something happened to her family and her memory is blocking it out.

After meeting Link and doing the stuff on the Great Plateau, she realizes that her medallion (which has the Sheikah symbol on it) has abilities of its own. She can cryogenically freeze items and transport them into her medallion (as if it turns the items into code or something and stores it), she can create a holographic to-do list of sorts, and she has the option to "save" and "load", but she doesn't understand what that means until about halfway through the game.

Further in the game (possibly when they meet Impa or maybe once Link regains all of his memories) Yumi learns the truth about her origins. Apparently, she was Impa's youngest daughter (aunt to Paya) but died at 17-18 years old. Unlike Link who was resurrected from the brink of death, Yumi was dead for years. Purah and Robbie found a way to reconstruct her body, making her into an artificial human, and "resurrected" her. Unlike Link, she can't unlock her memories. It's like she never had them to begin with. When she was "reborn", it was like she became someone else who simply looked and acted like who she once was. It was a miracle that she was brought back at all, so now Impa has entrusted her with the responsibility of aiding Link on his quest.

I don't know much about what I want her to do in TotK, but I think she'd still be Link's partner and she'd still have her medallion.

My plan isn't to have her interact with BotW Links tbh, but I wouldn't mind plotting with some and having interactions. Instead, I'm more interested in her interacting with other characters that she meets on their shared journey. You guys know that changing canon (unless it's a straight-up AU) makes me feel weird, so I may shy away from Links with her just bc her presence does make the story canon divergent. Soooo....sorry about that XDD

may give her a genshin verse....if i do add her XDD

Okay, that's my spiel. So.....

[payphonex]

Well, this is the first time I've written in almost 3 years. I'm not even sure what to say, honestly. I feel like my entire life has been taken from me. I feel like I've forgotten how to write.

Am i supposed to be angry? in love? sad?

lost?

Im lost. I dont know who I am anymore. I gave up everything for this toxic relationship. I stopped going to bars, seeing my friends. i stopped talking to anybody especially over text because everything would be read. I stopped taking phone calls unless i was home alone, which was rare. I learned to shut up, not talk about my emotions because it would be such a big fight; i wasnt paying attention to how she felt when i was upset. Even now, as im writing this i am terrified she'll see it.

She'll say something, she always does. She'll disapprove and ill be in trouble.

again.

We broke up, about 3 weeks ago. I moved to Tennessee. Im finally with my dad. Honestly, the only reason i didnt stay in town was because i finally had the courage to block my mom.

Maybe the universe was telling me it was time to go.

I finally listened.

I dont know how to feel anymore. What im supposed to feel, ya know? In some aspects i feel numb. Im alone out here, truly alone. I guess the good thing about that is i cant get hooked on cocaine again.

I crave it all the fucking time. Being sober for 2 years really doesnt matter when i still smell it laying in bed.

I guess i can thank my sobriety on my now ex, we did get sober together. I cant thank her enough for that.

You know, its weird being back on here. I feel like i could throw up just downloading the app. My old account was deleted, my ex swears it wasnt her but im sure ill never know.

I found you again, i re-read some of things you had written. I really have been looking through rose coldered glasses when it came to you. The pain of losing you in my life was so fucking real for months.

atleast until i realized you truly threw me under the bus. like i was just some freak obsessed with you. I loved you, you were my family.

we were 'inseperable'. Remember? you said that.

"I understand that it'll never be us, part of me knew that it never would be, but i decided to let you fall anyway. make me think it was wrong."

You remember that? you wrote that. I can finally let you know,

it.

was.

wrong.

Because youre so stuck in my fucking head that it is hard to breathe. People still tell me about you, I could never truly get away from you.

I cant forget those nights.

I never could wipe away the fucking smell of lavender and vanilla

Ive never been good at cleaning windows either. Im sure your finger prints are still covering the view i could have had.

You've always been such a good liar. Keeping my at your hip for a backup plan just long enough to leave me drowning again.

The last time i heard your voice was the night my ex called you. I was plastered, black out drunk. I found out my tumblr was deleted that night.

I hit her. Busted her lip because i couldnt let go of you. So she called you. Of course you didnt answer, but the next morning you called me off of a friends phone. She forced me to answer the call.

You sounded like you fucking hated me. Why?

because you lead me on? because you got caught up in the consequences of YOUR actions?

you responded to me! when i wrote about you. You always replied. always.

It was never "leave me alone" or "we need to stop this"

You played me. you fucking used me.

you.

you fucking hurt me.

and i shouldve known better. but youre angry at me? annoyed with me?

it was easy for you to drop me, wasnt it?

I liked one of your posts. im sure youre gonna block me now. i bet you didnt even read this.

im letting you go. i guess this is my goodbye. im moving on and it feels good to finally express myself again. dont worry, my tumblrs always been my own private thing, noone you know will see this, incase youre embarrassed.

[spawnofthedivine]

not even our friends like our therapist and man. we have to agree she very much Sucks. below the cut is complaining about her :P

she doesnt listen to us and just goes on and on about her experiences in the field and her life and that she is correct abt all these things and that we are just being stubborn and yada yada she doesnt believe we have social anxiety or ptsd or anything other than mild anxiety and depression yada yada. shit sucks !!

we scored very high on our ptsd screening TWICE (once in middle school and once a few months ago) and she says we've never had it!!! what the fuck!!! she thinks we just have anxiety and depression and thats what causes the flashbacks and nightmares and every single fucking ptsd symptom we have. what is she TALKING ABOUT. its so confusing i actually dont understand what she means by "your GENERALIZED anxiety and mild-moderate depression is causing your flashbacks" and she was making US sound unreasonable when we tried saying that we dont think thats how that works.

thats not even mentioning the fact that we have always had SOCIAL anxiety and NOT generalized anxiety. its a fight every session for her to drop the idea that we will be fearful of Everything Except Social Situations instead of our ACTUAL fears of JUST SOCIAL SITUATIONS!!! we have occasional specific fears that do interrupt a few moments of the day when they happen, but its not a part of any of our fucking disorders!! yes our brain scrambles a little when we see a bug, and yes we are a little afraid of a bomb being dropped on our house, but it doesnt interrupt our daily life!! we think about it for a minute tops and then the moment passes and its done. SOCIAL SITUATIONS ARE NOT LIKE THAT. SOCIAL SITUATIONS ARE A CONSTANT LOOMING DREADFUL FEAR THAT WE AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE. she doesnt seem to understand how scared we are of this, she always says we do so well in those situations so therefore we cannot be afraid. no fucking shit we dont freak out, it gets even worse if we do, so we have to keep it on the inside! this is how nerevar learned how to mop up the bodys emotions we dont start crying in public when a cashier looks at us!

whatever , im tempted to just call it quits and drop her for a different therapist. so fucking annoying to have someone thats "helping" you not believe a word you say. i think it would go even worse than the ptsd screener day if we tried to tell her about our dissociation and plurality. fucks sake.