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inbabylontheywept · 2 months

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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

#i feel a kinship with that snake #would that i could be a simple tube #and eat my fill of eggs #but being a person is rather nice too #my wife is a saint #and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy #but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college #and i deserved to just go a little insane #you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs

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mildelectrocution · 3 months

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Inspired by Darwyn Cooke's iconic Batman & Robin illustration, and the New Batman Adventures.

#batman #robin #tnba #robin in this show is such a lil guy #I want to wrap him up in a blanket #i am also forever emotional about bruce being a dad #dc comics #bruce wayne #tim drake #animation #raise your hand if return of the joker scared you as a kid #my art

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medichamcham · 28 days

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i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains

#medi.txt #woohoo lets kill god!!!!#stop reblogging this i am begging you i am just one guy PLEASE

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captainjonnitkessler · 1 month

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>Join a union

>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on

>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members

>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on

#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting #i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye #and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous

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nikoisme · 11 months

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fucking hate how cats think they can mrrp their way out of anything because yeah, they fucking can.

#how am i supposed to make rational decisions when they go mrrp #not arguing with a lil guy that goes mrrp. whatever you say goes beautiful #cats #niko rambles

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podcastwizard · 4 months

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this will not be a bridgerton blog but for the foreseeable future i will not be thinking about anything other than bridgerton

(original post @romanceyourdemons)

#bridgerton #i'm sorry to go so off track guys but hopefully some of you are with me on this one #every once and a while i get to post about my little romances!!#as a treat!!!#also do NOT get me wrong i am a colin girly but the man is a wet dog #and that's what i LIKE ABOUT HIM!

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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Hey now, Let her cook!

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #senshi #laios touden #marcille donato #izutsumi #oyasumi punpun #<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.

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possessable · 1 year

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Hello i'm a normal person here's some stuff i drew to illustrate different traits different "person getting controlled" tropes can have

edit: obligatory possession shorthand code link because people seem to be using this like the possession code but just. without the code part

edit: DO NOT BE HORNY ON MY POST 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

#if you see tumblr flagging this its literally not mature i dont know why it got flagged #i like how you can see the artstyle in this change because i drew the first couple a year ago and then picked it up again intermittently #this aws just an excuse to draw a bunch of tiny possessed guys. ''what am i supposed to do with a possession hyperfixation its not like you #can draw possession fanart'' Yes You Can If you really Believe In yourslef #This isn't even all the traits i can think of there's four more but they seem kind of boring to draw and are mostly self explanatory #Less Unique my Ass #ThePossessionHyperfixationIsNeverEnding

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boybecoming · 8 months

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an ode to testosterone weight gain

#so many ppl are scared to go on T because of possible weight gain #i am here to tell you being a fat guy is really hot and fun #force masc #forcemasc #forced masculinization #boy hypno

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affo-gatto-gateau · 4 months

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Thought I might make a reblog game of my own.

#reblog game #you guys could definitely beat me in a fight im just saying #i am weak

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monzterzack · 2 months

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i am trying really hard to nail them down in my style

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #kabru of utaya #labru #dm #my art #fanart #i am trying so hard you guys #im starting to think ill never boil down kabru to my style

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indigo6f00ff · 1 year

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need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this.#but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt.#i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

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tadfools · 9 months

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You guys are commenting on the fics you read right? You’re at least leaving kudos on the Astarion smut and the pairs that have less than 20 fics for them too? You’re bookmarking stories you really like that are still being updated and ones that haven’t been touched in over a year right?

You know that even the smallest interactions are like cocaine to fic writers right? You understand how important a string of emoji hearts left behind on a chapter at three am is right?? Right????

You’re treating AO3 like a community and not a content factory….right?

#this isnt bg3 specific btw im seeing a lot of fandoms rotting cause of this #ao3 #archive of our own #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 #PLEASE YOU GUYS INTERACT WITH THE THINGS YOU READ #you’re not being weird or annoying!!! it doesn’t matter how old the fic is!!!#you can just say ‘I love this’ or ‘it’s three am and I haven’t slept yet cause I was reading this’#you can copy and paste a paragraph you like and add ‘!!!!!!’ after it #theories in the comments! mention when you think you’ve found foreshadowing!!!#if there’s a part where you have to physically put your phone down and smile off into the distantce? TELL THE AUTHOR #you can leave comments every chapter too!!! ITS NOT ANNOYING

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vaszametili · 8 months

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