#you had my heart a long time ago

[youonlyzingonce]

You have no idea how much it physically hurts my heart & soul to have gone

from Soulmates planning our future together

To now strangers who were once madly in love

You should be here savanah & it breaks my heart that your not.

[evansbby]

I cannot believe the wicked games Drabble was 5000 words long like basically a full ass fic and the low amount of notes it got…

[dunmeshiminimumwage]

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

I know you all know by default how much I love this conversation, but in RD at least, a lot of characters fall out of relevancy after a certain point (whereas in PoR you could argue that having full supports prevents this). Shinon is one of the only side characters who doesn't really do this, having three base conversations throughout part three (which is pretty fucking good considering several of the chapters aren't even with the Greil Mercenaries).

Back in PoR, Shinon asks for praise/gratitude. Expects it. By this point he doesn't want it anymore. He didn't want it when he was selling bows for emergency income (which Rolf took up as well) and he doesn't want it here either. His personality has chilled out so much from being a hothead and he's much more expressive of his actual feelings (even if you compare his standard death quotes in both games, he's much more emotionally expressive in RD).

A lot of characters - most honestly, including even the GMs (barring Boyd if he A supports Mist which gives him more content and expresses a whole lot of maturity compared to PoR Boyd) tend to drop off in development. They might stick around (ex. PoR puts all the major groups in the spotlight until the next group shows up and goes through all of them), but the development eventually stagnates outside of supports (including in base conversations, which this one is such).

Since RD doesn't get supports with full conversations, you only get snippets of development/characterization through them, while the base conversations may offer insight into the characters and show you how they've changed over the years but don't truly develop them. Shinon is a very lucky situation for his character because he keeps returning in both games, and it helps develop him across both games with a full timeline (similar to Naesala, who has a fully fleshed out story and personality development over both games and never stops dead at any point in the pair of games).

In PoR Shinon was distant and selectively a bit cold (Greil, Rolf and Gatrie excluded from that, and Mist to an extent as well). RD gives the impression that he just... doesn't care about all that anymore. He's fine where he is and has learned he can live with these people and not have to expect betrayal. He doesn't have to anticipate being on his own ever again. There's no real reason for him to keep up the walls and barriers to protect himself, and he's not living just to survive anymore.

Most times when I end up loving a character it's because of the content given to me and what have I to work with, rather than loving a character and searching for things to love. I fully expect that that's why I finally, after years of being unable to decide who my Tellius favorite was because I loved several of them too dearly to decide, found myself able to settle on Shinon.

When I got older and gave it more thought, considering all the development and traits of each of them and how responsive I was to them, one day I asked myself, well okay, what if someone asked you who your favorite was? What if you still did love the same ones as your number one, all of them, but could only give one name quick and simple? Who would you pick? The first name that instantly hit me was Shinon. That was enough for me to decide okay, there's a reason he's the first person who instantly came to me if I had to truly settle on one. I hadn't quite figured it out yet, but I knew there was a reason that if I had to pick a single standout, it would be him.

A lot of it harkens back to this conversation. It is development in and of itself, and also very expressive of who he is. The fact that he also doesn't fall off in conversations and is more recurring than not also gives me more to examine about him and more to think about. It puts him in a more likely position to think about him and who he is than I would for characters the writers didn't really bother developing (including other recurring characters like Marcia, who keep coming back in both games similar to Shinon, but see no development as a person - unfortunately in her case, in either game).

He has a very rich, detailed and unforgotten-by-the-writers character and one whose story ends on a very high note. I say "ends" in the sense of main story/base content, but it technically continues if he's taken to the Tower and gains the ability to A support various other characters who he otherwise could not support or could only reach a B support with, such as Sanaki, Tibarn, etc. This conversation is like an accumulation of his growth between both games, including the subtle things you can only pick up on through actions/other character lines.

Ike says he (everyone, which includes Shinon) chose to stay with them when he told everyone who their next employer was/what they'd be doing/etc, and Ike gave him and Soren an out if they weren't comfortable with it. They weren't all forced to go. That says by itself that Shinon made that choice on his own. He chose to stay with them when he was not yet totally comfortable with laguz and was still working on that part of himself (the fact that he uses the term "laguz" at all is already a huge step up from where he leaves off on his A support with Janaff, which did not leave off poorly at all).

Last time Shinon was uncomfortable with something in the Greil Mercenaries, he made the choice to leave. When he did come back, he was not exclusively surrounded by only the GMs and otherwise, purely laguz (which prior to meeting Janaff I would argue he was not ready for at all at the time). Here, he was, and he still made the choice to stay with them knowing exactly what his situation would look like.

Another thing worth considering is how much of a hothead Shinon was in PoR, but he still took Rolf on as a student. While I'm not sure exactly how accurate Mist's statement is about "forcing" Rhys to teach her (it's possible she was pushy about it because he didn't want to, such as because it might mean she might end up on the battlefield), we do know Rolf wanted to learn and was accepted.

We can easily infer through their conversations that Shinon would rather teach him to survive and have a safety net rather than worry about him being on a battlefield. Shinon saw that he was motivated to learn and, regardless of the fact that he was still in survival mode himself and not of the mind of "I'll be with these people forever and want to help them", taught him while apparently having told him "things like this happen" with mercenaries (i.e. different employers, separation, etc). If they ended up on opposite sides but Rolf could wield a weapon, that could endanger him, but he does it anyway. His priority is always survival, but it's also the survival of children and anyone he cares about. He also dies begrudgingly in his PoR death quote, which is completely opposite of his death quote against Rolf.

Another thing for me: he's also very confident and aware of his capabilities as a marksman. He knows what he's worth and at this point, he no longer brags about it (he used to all the time in PoR). He sees no reason to have to prop himself up. There's no insecurity in him that makes him feel the need to try to be open about being better than anyone else. He knows and accepts what he's worth without feeling the need to tell people about it.

If someone asked him what he thought of himself/his own worth, yeah, he'd admit his skill and capability without being too humble, but he also wouldn't go overboard with it or say it during instances that don't really warrant it (basically, if absolutely nobody asked, he'd say it anyway in PoR. In RD he doesn't really seem to give a shit anymore about letting the whole world know how good he is). He's lost the whole pick me, look at me sort of attitude. Imo it's also due to a higher amount of respect he has for himself now, and a much healthier one. He doesn't care about being the best anymore (he'd be perfectly happy if Rolf was instead) and is just satisfied knowing his skill on his own. He's satisfied not being alive just to survive, but to be with this mercenary group and actually able to live.

As a side note, we never actually see him having drunk or in the middle of drinking in RD, so... it's also likely he's worked on his possible PoR drinking issue too!

All in all, he's just one of the few non-main characters who came a whole long way with a full story. He feels very different in RD, but not so much that he feels like a different character entirely. For me, I can feel the growth in who he is, and that to me is an excellent handling of a character. When I can feel how different they are from beginning to end, I can feel the intent of character growth behind it. I can't tell you with certainty that the writers took a liking to him and so biasly kept sticking in dialogue for him (and singlehandedly made him one of the solidly best units in RD, for that matter...), but he's definitely repeatedly present and has hefty, story/backstory littered implications.

His dialogue feels meaningful to his own personal story in all his conversations. In other words, he doesn't have a conversation that feels devoid of meaning. It comes across more as all of his content exists for a reason/has meaning behind it. There's no wasted dialogue with him. When he's there, it means something for his character (comparatively to other side characters who may have lengthy conversations but you walk away having gotten nothing out of it, be that in PoR and/or RD).

He has fewer supports than most of the cast in PoR, but every single one had some kind of direction to it. Even if you look at his C support with Janaff and go "well that's just classic early PoR Shinon", the point of that is exactly that: that he starts out who we recognize and develops from there. That support alone goes from that to a lot of growth in three conversations, and beneficially so on both sides.

Simply put, he has more content the average Tellius character (including all of his boss quotes in chapter 18), and everything leads up to who he is by this conversation. It's a full story for a side character, later including personalized support dialogue for A supports, and he just happens to exhibit a lot of growth and traits that I already lean toward (hence why he was in my top spot all along, just tied with others. Now he's not tied with others and has the top spot to himself!).

I think it's likely it's the fact that as mentioned, none of his conversations are throwaway conversations. You never walk away from his conversations having gotten nothing (I mean, I'm sure people who refuse to see it don't notice precisely because they are willing themselves to refuse to see it to find excuses to keep hating him). Even in his first RD base conversation, the fact that he acts as you'd expect but drops a "laguz" in there is already a hint for his growth direction on top of being there at all. It's really just up from there, as is the case with all his content.

I tend to lean toward characters with a whole fountain of insightful conversations and depth, and in FE games you often don't find those characters outside of the mains. While I'd argue Tellius is a lot less tropey than modern FE (there were some tropey types like Makalov and Ilyana whose characters are basically nothing without their tropes), a lot of its side characters are still reduced to very surface level characterization with no real growth.

Shinon was very lucky to get as much as he did, and I'd say he has just as much if not more personal depth and lore than even some of the mains themselves. Imo he's a very lucky and rare find in FE games, when there are so many goddamn characters that the writers can't flesh them all out (reasonably of course, but it makes it even more special when it happens for non mains). Even with the Fodlan games and all its content, a lot if not most of its characters are full on tropes with little to nothing in the way of anything else. Engage suffers from it too, with a few diamonds in the rough and not much else.

That's not to say I hate the games or their characters, because obviously I would not still be playing new titles to the franchise if I hated it. I'm saying it makes the ones with as much depth as Shinon a gold mine to be found amidst a very large cast of characters that don't usually get that treatment.

anyway i will always talk abt shinon more when able so this is Not The End but i will end this post here lest it turns into another 20+ paragraphs.

[girlcrushau]

[jenivi]

I compiled some of my favorite songs from Pearl’s voice actress, Rina Itou (Lighter190E) into a vid :)) A good amount of these songs are hard to find/nowhere else online so I decided to put them here!

[todayisafridaynight]

time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist

[demonprodigy-kingofsheep]

I don’t mean to be ungrateful towards asagiri or anything but the constant pov switches and death ‘scares’ are getting a bit annoying rn

also begging crying sobbing on my knees for longer chapters pLEASE FOR ONCE-

[dawntheduckrb]

I think I've gotta step away from social media for a few days. I say that kinda loosely, since I don't wanna completely disconnect, but posting something and then (kind of?) obsessively checking my inbox to see if people have seen it isn't very healthy I think. Coupled with irl matters, it's left me a bit exhausted for the past little while. Idk if not posting my doodles for a little bit will actually help, but I'm willing to give it a shot

In the meantime, I'll still be lurking around pages that I get notifs for (as always), replying to comments/dms, and probably posting the Sunday ducks since those are being done for a specific reason. It hopefully won't be for very long, but until then, look forward to (possibly) a bunch of doodles and another completed studio project!

[thiswillcostyourheart]

YOU decide what you want.

nobody else has the right to tell you what you should want or do in your personal life, now or in the future. 

whatever you choose, it should be because you want it, not out of pressure from others. you choose what you want in your life and what makes you happy.

[peridots-pixiwolf]

ah. seems the special interest i've now had for 23 months, the only one that still consumes a portion of my mind at all times, just turned six today, and not a single one of the several lists I have to keep track of such anniversaries bothered to warn me of this early enough that I could actually draw something for it in time

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

i’m in this discord group server. it’s filled with people i’ve known for like a decade. we’ve been mutuals here on tumblr since way back when. i just realized it’s been a while since i’ve gotten any notifications from the server. so i checked it out. everyone except a few people had either left the server or deleted their accounts. 

this is the shit that makes me so sad. i’m too sentimental. i have other ways to contact a couple of them, but a lot of them i’ll probably never talk to again. and it’s is doubly sad because this server was what made me join discord and i joined at a pretty dark time in my life and they all specifically invited me to give me some sort of emotional support and we honestly had a lot of fun. there were great times had. lots of late night conversations. sometimes serious ones but sometimes just shooting the shit.

and it just gave me a weird feeling to see the server so empty. the last message being from months ago. everyone gone. where did they all go? it just happened slowly over time. one by one people left or deleted for whatever reason. the last message is the server owner just saying “it’s been a good run”. 

i remember reading some poem about a person standing in some ballroom or something after a great celebration. everyone was gone and it was just the narrator. that’s how this makes me feel. i feel like i’m the last one in the ballroom after a long night of laughter and cheer. i don’t know what the poem is called or whom it’s by. if you know please tell me. i’ve been looking for it for years.

i think i have a disorder that makes me too sentimental or something.

[afieldinengland]

.

[thedeadthree]

kindly asking for all the faye lore 👀🤲🏼

LEAHH ty so much and i would be happy to offer some faye lore! there’s still a bit of lore that i am figuring out for her that’ll i'll likely know more as I play the games and build more on her, but here’s what i have on her lore at the moment!

her full name is lennon faye marlowe!

she goes by her middle name! when she turned eighteen she had her name legally changed to her middle name! so now it’s faye marlowe! faye was what people have been calling her for her whole life as well so it worked out :)

her mom was a well known model in the seventies and early eighties turned designer in the late eighties! her father though, was a high level executive at the umbrella corporation. which gave her an in when it came to what she could have access to and what she knew! he began to have his doubts for a while (took him long enough smh!) so when she entered into the fray for her reasons if she was getting nosy he would turn a blind eye to it. she also has an older brother named emery! and emery is leon's best friend!

she was born on may 16 of 1978! she’s a taurus sun, sagittarius moon, and aquarius rising!

fayes mbti is an entp-t “the debator!"

and her enneagram is a type 3 “the performer!"

her fc is b*arbara p*alvin! and her brothers fc is t*om p*ayne (specifically in the show p*rodigal s*on!)

her name meanings! lennon is based on an irish surname meaning “lover” and her parents mainly chose it because they liked the way lennon faye marlowe sounded! their first name choice was faye! faye is an english name meaning “fairy” or “the fates” in latin! marlowe her last name as well as her brother emery’s, is an english name meaning “from the lakes!” her mom always preferred faye being her name, hence why she was addressed more as faye compared to her given name lennon, which was what her father wanted to name her, and was happy when faye had it changed! (petty queen!)

love that for her that her name is lover AND she’s basically named the love fairy :) good for her i think! i really loved how faye marlowe sounded for a character and realizing it would work so well for her! it was perfect! fitting! iconic for her even!

as I said she has an older brother! his name is emery! he’s a “lawyer” who realized the lawyering thing wasn’t working out for him as he kept getting calmly asked with friendly notes to “back off” by a certain pharmaceutical company that had particular links to certain individuals after signing up as “volunteers” would go missing.. can’t make any money when you can’t win your cases u know? so his best friend encourages him to work as a civilian consultant until he can find himself a new profession!

faye is an agent! she’s been one for about? a year? about a yearish into her university she applied and was accepted into an internship into a legal firm that was at the time, just so happened tp be in the employ of a rival company of umbrella’s. and in knowing who she was, she was recruited and set up as a spy where she would put herself under an alias, changed her major and began an internship as at the umbrella corporation shadowing william birkin! her and ada wong were friends and coworkers!

she had a crush that lasted for a couple months and got over a week or so before the events of re2 on albert wesker saksdmkj

she and her brother have had a deal since he left for college that he would call her once a month (he’s not the best at remembering to but since making the deal he hasn’t missed one since!) and she was to surprise him at his new job the following morning! so when he doesn’t call her and news breaks out of the outbreak she BOLTS it to find him! and finds leon instead!

im still figuring out who she’ll end up with BUT im leaning more towards her ending up with leon! it’ll be great as he’s already the best friend of emery! and a scene I have in mind of emery finding out I am VERY excited to write on! it’s re4.. faye and emery are arguing and he takes notice of a particular shiny diamond ring on his baby sisters finger, she tells him that oh yea BTW Leon and I are getting married and if u had called that u would know and be invited (he does get invited and yes he cries), HIS BEST FRIEND AND HIS SISTER HIS BEST FRIEND GOT WITH HIS SISTER WHAT, and chaos ensues! it’s great! nothing like knowing “zombies” are about to get you but! ksanska!

it wasn’t love at first sight for her! she does think he has a charming quip about him but she doesn’t realize her feelings until sometime post re2 and before re4! he had feelings for her from the GET GO, lovestruck head over heels etc etc at first sight! congrats leon! manifestation works!

she steals his clothes all the time. his clothes are hers! especially his jacket? and does he complain?? absolutely not!

she enjoys oil painting! likes fancy cars! has very expensive tastes in fashion and home decor! AN EXTENSIVE and well thought out skin care routine! takes care of herself and requests that leon do the same hehe! no beloved of HERS isnt taking care of their skin on her watch!

after realizing her employers intentions for her being there at umbrella and in using her family name, she quits! but alongside leon doesn’t COMPLETELY get the chance to walk away from espionage as shes offered to work with STRATCOM/dso (later on!) though to be honest she would still WELL into the current day leave the world of spycraft with leon for good! the last time she hopes she’s THAT naïve.

[observethewalrus]

love the emotional whiplash i feel whenever i spend more than an hour with my parents

[featherymainffins]

I thought I would walk some additional 14 km today and thus burn my accidental lunch (caved into peer pressure and went to a restaurant and had a salad instead of eating my perfectly counted can of tuna) and as such I agreed to go have breakfast with some friends tomorrow to celebrate the end of the excursion.

But I did not walk those 14 km because I wasn't able to get water + I just finished 12 hours of lectures + my arches were killing me + it was raining + I wanted to shower + I wanted to study + I was fucking freezing.

Which means I have to punish myself for my lack of discipline and I also have to make up for the food and that means I CANNOT have that breakfast. In fact I cannot have anything. For 2 days. Just to be sure.

So now I'm trying to figure out what lie I can make up. Currently thinking about saying that I just started to feel really nauseous all of a sudden and as such I unfortunately cannot eat breakfast oopsie. It feels really random and not really believable though.