#you have to tell me what is and isnt ok because i KNOW my affection is a lot

[oddishfemme]

no but like. WHAT CHANGED. literally can't wrap my head around this.

[aimseytv]

this isnt an ask just a ramble i needed to get out about au sunship, i've never had tumblr before and im running on little sleep so this isnt going to be very coherent

But like the parallel between when guqqie felt guilty about getting aimsey to lie because they didn’t want acho to see them differently/yell at them vs aimsey getting angry that guqqie told michella about what hera did because aimsey didn’t want anyone to see guqqie negatively and yell at her (i can’t phrase things right) THESE SCENCES ARENT SIMILAR BUT THEY REMIND ME OF EACHOTHER SO MUCH LIKE KIND OF FORESHADOWING??

AIMSEY SAYING

“other people’s opinions… aren’t something we can control, ….. you need to not worry about what other people think of me…”

Guqqie “people shouldn’t judge you based on one action… i just want people to see that your good”

“…i just don’t think you should be so worried about the way people are gonna perceive me because at the end of the day their thoughts don’t really matter” 

and guqqie being like “they matter to me i want everyone to like you cause your great” 

“as long as you like me then i’m okay”

And this scene isn’t made like a very big deal but like it does matter obviously and then later after mr. loverman (before they see guqqs for the first time) aimsey doesn’t think guqqs likes it anymore and so like they feel like what everyone else always thought of him guqqie also thinks of him now (“youre just a demon”)

and then during the wall scene when aimsey is like did you tell michella and guqqies like yeah and aimseys upset because like 

“i didn’t want people to see you in the wrong way, guqqie!” 

“that’s not up to you!”

“yes it is! …..  i didn’t want people to see you the same way they saw me! i didn’t want it. i didn’t want it anymore. and i just didn’t want people to start making up these things and painting you in a terrible light-

people expect these things of me and they expect me to be this bad thing and i just didn’t want that to happen to you. i just didn’t want it ok…

if i told people that you beat me do you genuinely think people would just look at you and they would think that everything’s ok? No, they wouldn’t guqqie! they would see you differently. and i didn’t want that okay! i just didn’t want that! i just wanted things to be okay…”

so we’ve kind of known this whole time that aimsey really does care about what others think of him but they didn’t quite let on to it when guqqie was talking to her about it but during the wall scene we really see how much others seeing aimsey in a negative light has affected it and how much he’s been hurt by it to the point where they’re genuinely terrified of guqqie also having to go through that!! and just!!! They announcement has made me rewatch a lot of the vods/the ausunshipduo movie and im brain rotting about them but no one I know will listen to me ramble so i just needed this to go somewhere (sorry) ive reread this to see if it makes sense but my eyes hurt so idk if it does or not (im so sorry)

this is so sweet i read the entire thing :) glad you love ausmp gamer

[taraprince]

the nsfw abcs are so good 😩 can u do one for mello please 🙏

❗️nsfw warning❗️

OFC I CAN 🤭🤭 i’m so glad you like them <33

// GN reader, might mention pussy once it twice i don’t remember//

MELLO NSFW ABCS ~

A (aftercare) - mello isnt exactly the greatest at showing affection, but he tries his best to assure your comfort after sex, especially because he knows he can be rough sometimes all the time

B (bottom or top) - hes happy with anything as long as hes getting laid. If you wanna ride him, then be his guest. If you want him to tower over you while he fucks you stupid, hes fine with that too.

C (cum) - most of the time, he tries to pull out before he cums; however if you ask him to cum inside you he’ll obey without hesitation. He doesnt like wearing a condom, he wants to feel your heat right up against him, but he’ll do so if you ask him to <3 oh my god hes so pretty when he cums, shouting your name as his stomach flexes and his hair falls in front of his face ahhh.

D (dress up) - he doesnt mind dressing up for you, but he goes absolutely feral when you dress up for him. If There's anything that gets him hard fast, its you straddling his lap in a skimpy lace set he got for you that points out your curves so beautifully.

E (experience) - though he's a god at what he does, he actually doesn't have a lot of experience. Once he got out of Wammys, he never really got with another person before, making you his first time (which just makes his love for you even stronger)

F (fav position) - he loves loves lovessss having you ride him. He adores how prettily your thighs and chest bounce as you try to take all of him inside you. It drives him insane when he sees how your face contorts so lewdly before you cum all over him. “Cmon, you can take all of me, yeah? I know you can, just a little lower~”

G (goofy) - he’s pretty focused and serious during sex, and youll never really find yourself laughing; however sometimes he purposefully uses cheesy pick up lines when the tension is thick and you cant help but giggle a little.

H (hair) - he has a little bit of stubble down there, but he tried to keep it maintained. He doesnt really care a lot, he just wants to keep himself presentable for you. He doesnt mind what you do, if you dont want to shave then thats fine by him. Sex is sex, whether theres hair or not.

I (intimacy) - hes a bit more rough than passionate, but he does know how to make the knot in your stomach twist and turn. Every so often, when you two are having sex he’ll slow down and tell you how much he really loves you and how much he loves seeing you stuffed with his fat cock

J (jack off) - oh my god constantly. As much as he wants to take him time with you and do unspeakable things, hes just so busy with kira and near on his back all the time, so he doesnt have a lot of free time. He often resorts to pleasuring himself to the thought of how pretty and tight you are for him.

K (kink) - besides constant praise (and a hint of degradation if your needy), hes pretty vanilla. Hes definitely covered you in chocolate and licked it off you a few times, but thats only on special occasions. If he ever walked in on you with your hands tied behind your back (dont ask how its possible ok let me dream) and presented so openly for him, he’d go wild, losing almost all of his self control.

L (location) - if you want to fuck him, it doesnt matter where you two are, he’ll do it. His personal favorite out of all the places you two have done it at is on his couch at work. He loves the rush it gives him thinking of one of his dear coworkers walking in and seeing how good you can be for him and only him.

M (massage) - since he cant always be intimate with you, he often gives you massages because thats close enough, right? He really goes crazy for any type of skin to skin touch you two have because hes a man whore

N (no) - he seen and done it all really, or it feels that way at least. He cant really think of anything he wouldnt do; as long as your happy hes happy. He knows he doesnt show it very well, but he really does care a lot about you.

O (oral) - god he loves it when you sit on his face. The feeling of your plush thighs squishing his face can just make him cum over and over, but he keeps his composure so he can enjoy it a bit longer. Hes also such a fucking whore for you when you give him head. Bucking his hips, gripping your hair tightly, telling you over and over how fucking amazing your mouth feels around him. You two have for sure 69d on multiple occasions.

P (pace) - he adores roughly pounding into you (or guiding your hips quickly up and down), seeing your face twist and mewl at how good his dick feels. If you ask him to slow down, he’ll just go faster until you cum and your body goes limp.

Q (quickie) - lovess them. Yes, he loves being able to fully worship your body properly, but he just doesnt have time. he often has you against the wall of his office, rattling the wall with how hard hes rutting into you.

R (risk) - all for it 100%. Though he very protective of you, he loves the idea of fucking you silly in public with the high chance that someone could see or hear. Hes for sure fingered you in a restaurant before, and he had to remind you to keep quiet before someone heard you moaning like such a slut. “Fuck, your so loud and im only using my fingers. If your good and keep quiet for me, when we get home i’ll give you more. Sound good~?”

S (stamina) - he usually lasts about 3-4 rounds. Hes a tough man, but you make him weak in his knees when you open up so willingly for him, just begging him to ruin you from the inside out.

T (toys) - he owns a pair of handcuffs, a vibrater, and probably a ball gag. He thinks you look like a sexy fucking god/goddess when he uses his toys on you, with you squirming and mewling under him while he fucks you silly with just a few pieces of plastic and rubber.

U (unfair) - he’ll tease you with his words constantly, but once you two are in bed he cant help but just tear you apart, no time to mess around. “I see you over there getting off to my voice, rubbing your pretty thighs together. Why dont you just come over here and spread them open for me to play with, hm~?”

V (volume) - hes loud and proud. He almost WANTS people to hear how good hes getting it. He whimpers and moans when he cums, groans and mewls when you take control over his tired body (his sounds alone could make you cum over and over, and he knows it)

W (wild card) - mellos kind of a secluded guy, and as much as you think you know everything about him, theres always gonna be something that hes keeping secret. Which is exactly why it surprised you when he subtly mentioned his desire to be covered in hickies and love bites. Of course, he got what he wanted (and you may have escaped with 1 or 2 or 5 of his own marks across your body)

X (xray) - hes pretty average length, about 8, maybe 8.5 inches, but he still manages to drive you absolutely feral with the way he fucks you.

Y (yearning) - hes a raging manwhore and nothing anyone says can change my mind about that. Your always on his mind, your pretty lips both of them,your plush thighs that feel like cotton candy in his hands; he can daydream forever. You two usually have full on sex (not counting quickies) about 3-4 times a week.

Z (zzz) - hes out quick when you two are finished. Hes tired after a long few hours of countless orgasms <3

—————————————————————

AN: AH i love doing these sm 🤭 can you tell i went with a theme on this one🙏 THX FOR THE ASK I RLY APPRECIATE IT💍💍💍🫶🫶🫶

[miiilowo]

I have seen what they say about npd on Google but may I ask you for the truth or at least stuff people don't mention cause i have a feeling there is a ton of stuff they don't mention and they just focus on bullshit

Sorry if its worded weird I just wanna learn about npd from a better source

Ill start off by saying I'm not the best source since im just some dude who has it, but I dont blame you for asking me specifically, considering how most of the results when looking into NPD are very, very plainly abelist or misinformed. Hell, even some of the non-abelist sources have some things wrong with them.

Before I begin, I wanna get this out of the way (since its very common to encounter): 'narc abuse' isnt real. No illness or disorder will make someone abusive. Abuse is a choice, and is not something one can be born into; Claiming all narcissists are inherently abusive is incredibly abelist, and if someone tells you otherwise, either kindly inform them or beat them with hammers. Everyone is capable of kindness, and everyone is capable of abuse. There is no pattern of abuse that solely correlates to people with NPD. If someone is abusive, and they also happen to have NPD, thats an abuser who has NPD, not a narcissistic abuser. You know? While a disorder may contribute to choices people make, correlation is not causation.

I will say to anyone else reading this who has used the term before, or anyone who has used 'narcissist'/'narcissistic' to describe someone who hurt them--As long as you stop, I wont be mad at you. I know that for a lot of people, it simply doesn't occur to them that it might be hurtful. However, if you know about how it can be hurtful or abelist and you CONTINUE to use it, that's where we have a real issue.

A few people have asked how to refer to me as someone who has NPD, so ill also mention that here. while i dont mind being called a narcissist personally, a lot of people do Not like being called that. generally saying people with NPD or pwNPD for short is a safer bet.

ok, now that thats out of the way, heres some stuff i have tucked in my pocket. they should give you a decent enough idea of what its like, and if you have followup questions, absolutely feel free to ask!!! i dont mind helping de-stigmatize in any way i can. i wont think its annoying i prommy

National Library Of Medicine - NPD

Stigma in the DSM when it comes to how NPD is described (keep in mind for above link) - @/kindnessoverperfection

NPD criteria rewritten by someone who has it (explanations for changes also included) - @/kindnessoverperfection

Me responding to someone who asked what they can do to help out/accommodate living w someone w NPD. <- this one covers some of my personal experiences with it

Collection of resources and an explanation of ""narc supply"" - @/theegosystem

Perception of NPD symptoms vs. how someone may actually experience them - @/kindnessoverperfection

I'm not gonna go over every single symptom and how it affects me, but I do wanna talk about envy, entitlement and narc crashes because those are the things i tend to encounter the most often that are like. Actually Bad And Disordered. some of these traits arent really that bad (like being arrogant and having a big ego. if im constantly talking about how sexy and awesome i am idk how thats a bad thing TBH i recommend it for everyone. does wonders for the mental health. there is a bad side to it [which you can find in the links above] but in my experience its less prevalent of an issue than the stuff im ab to talk about)

For me PERSONALLY, its mostly a problem with ego regulation, and the perception I have of myself is HEAVILY reliant on how other people perceive me and how much positive attention I'm getting. If someone does not like me, it is absolutely devastating, far more than it should be for the average person (though i also suffer from RSD due to my other disorders so i dont imagine thats helping)

If I dont receive enough attention, receive too much negative attention, or am led to believe I'm not actually the specialest boy on planet earth who deserves to be picked up and spun around and kissed on the forehead it can lead to whats referred to as a 'narc crash', or just a crash. Whatever we've been telling ourselves to keep our ego intact has been shattered into pieces, and we'll get rather angry and depressed, though mostly depressed. (we as in people with npd). The length of the crash usually depends on the severity of what happened, and whats being done to amend it, as far as i can tell.

Small things that may contribute to a crash For Me (or just feeling sort of upset tbh) are not being the center of attention in a group conversation, not being perceived as being the Best at something, not being prioritized by other people, not being invited to do things (even if you KNOW you dont want to participate in the activity), and PEOPLE SENDING ME ANNOYING FUCKING ANONS ON TUMBLR (not you. youre fine. this is referring to other people) among other things. Just this general sorta. thang. will get under our skin more than most. like 100% of the time. there are an infinite number of examples, but these are a handful of the most consistent ones for me.

One other thing i want to highlight is the "Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations)" symptom. This is true but the wording is absolute dogshit. I do have a sense of entitlement; I feel like I deserve certain things, and i do heavily desire favorable treatment. However, I KNOW when those things are unreasonable. I know when it's unfair, I know when it's unrealistic, I know not everyone is going to be able to comply to my demands 100% of the time, but I really feel like the focus here should be on how UPSETTING it is when these things arent met vs how it sucks for other people. When I dont receive what i feel like i deserve, i just get. really sad and upset. I personally have the self control to not snap at people (usually; depends on if the infraction was fair or not), but the phrasing here makes it seem like if the person with npd isnt an asshole about it, then they dont have this issue. which is false. i shouldnt be worked up and wanting to cry because i didnt receive an award for something i know i dont technically deserve and didnt commit to. you know?????? idk. IDK man. (its this kind of thing that makes me INCREDIBLY competitive and its also why i never enter contests of any kind. if i dont win i will want to commit murder at a minimum. i am a sore loser)

Envy is also a big problem for me. I think (know?) that other people are envious of me and look up to me, but I'm envious of other people to like, what would be a friendship-ruining level if I actually expressed it all the time. Its an underlying sense of "i deserve this more than you, why are you receiving this, this isnt fair, this should be me instead" that becomes genuinely RAGE INDUCING when half the time its just like. someone telling me theyre going on a cool trip. lmao. like they dont have to be bragging they can just be like Hey check out this thing i get to do isnt that cool :3 bc they wanna share their happiness with me. it sucks. it really sucks. Hell, when I see my mutuals and peers receive fanart for their aus/ocs/etc i get so agitated i have to use xkits "block post" feature so i dont have to look at it LMAO

I do also wanna touch on the 'believes they are special and will only associate with special people or institutions' thing briefly, since its kinda vague. I like myself, and i'm only going to want to interact with people who are also "like me", because, to put it bluntly, i perceive them as being better. people who i cannot relate to get sorta. pushed to the side. and i dont want to say i look down on them, but thats the best descriptor i have for it; obviously, be kind to everyone above all else, but inside i WILL be annoyed by you if i perceive you as being boring and/or 'basic'. probably part of why i hate taylor swift fans so much TBH

Again, this description I've given is very personal, and may not wholly apply to other people w NPD--It also doesn't cover every trait/symptom, but is just a handful that I wanted to go over. Remember to check out the linked sources if you havent, and if anyone reading this has some extra links, I'd be happy to take them!!!! If you have any questions or need clarification on something, also feel free to ask :3

Edit: I feel like its important to note that while trauma is a common way for someone to develop NPD, (neglectful or abusive parents for example), its not the only way. theres a few different ways it can develop, and i personally did due to an excessive amount of praise in childhood, which is one of the more commonly listed causes. set up my brain to need that to function

[turnstechgodhead]

ok to the anon thats talkin w me about mental eelness and bro and the "knight of time" line:

id post your entire ask but its Very Long and im struggling to answer all of it in a way that isnt fucking with my head and anxiety so im going to answer with only the character analysis stuff HERE on this post my apologies

for the record i dont even remotely know how to begin tagging this mess down here and i really think itd be better suited for my nsfw blog but yall aint asking about this on that blog which is fair take care of yourselves

JSYK it's stuff about brocal/intrusive thoughts about inc st and c s a SO kids please avert your eyes for my comfort thank YOU

i dont personally have ocd afaik but as someone who Has intrusive thoughts (actual horrifying ones that dirk, gabe and i have to beat back with a stick, not the ones kids think are intrusive thoughts today)

i definitely think that's how bro approaches raising dave; overcompensating for the accusations from his mind and cal[iborn] leading to total icing him out

okay same anon who was asking abt the “i was raising the knight of time” line. you saying “caliborn made [bro] believe that platonic affection is in fact not platonic at all and is instead sexual[the implications when bro is constantly carrying around cal with his arms around his neck btw. insane.]” is fascinating. is this based off the fact that caliborn thinks even hugging or a kiss on the cheek is “filthy?” it makes me think about ocd/bipolar disorder/misc mental illnesses and intrusive thoughts. i have bipolar and im a huge softie for kids but my intrusive thoughts sometimes try to convince me that my affection is somehow sinister.

YES very much

i need to describe to you my thoughts on brocal really quick bc i think that'll help put it in perspective and idk how else to talk about it;

heres the thing

cal is both bro's boyfriend and his fucking family okay

imagine you're a kid and you have this puppet friend that speaks to you using silly words and tells you that you should eat glass maybe :) or cut your fingers off or tear off your own head and hes the only thing thats taking care of you as a person even if hes mean

he tells you that people touching is inappropriate and vulgar and he cant believe theyre doing that in public (but its okay if we hug and cuddle you know?)

but also as you grow up this puppet starts calling you weird shit like stud or hunky or what the hell ever and maybe. youre going to kiss him

this puppet is the only thing you care about because hes the only thing that cares about you youve been with him for years and years and he talks to you and hes all that matters and now youre obsessed with him and you dont know when that happened but you have an obsessive personality anyway

youll do anything for him. (let me kill for you)

hes the only person you love because you dont love roxy this way (consuming, overwhelming, obligating to do what he wants, because he's all you have)

and well shit

if cals telling you that youre a freak for wanting to cuddle on the baby like you did that once (call it the knight it helps keep your distance) then i guess you're a fucking freak because its not even your right to treat it as family anyway; it's bigger than you. it's more than you will ever be and you need to make sure it doesn't fucking die and apparently that involves at least a little bit of affection cal please understand(what a disgusting species)

[urfavisapermaregressor]

This blog makes me feel disgusting as a permaregressor. It's honestly weird that you'll put permaregressor headcanons onto young children such as Ash or Kanna, they wouldn't even know what regressing is let alone permaregression. They're still KIDS. God, I agree with that other anon. You making permaregression seem like something fun and cute and desirable is putting actual permaregressors back. I hate having the mind of a child forever. I hate how you and other age regressors act like I cannot be an adult because I'm mentally stuck in adolescence. I hate how you're putting aesthetics on something that's honestly debilitating. Permaregression should be studied and marked as a mental illness for fucks sake, it kind of feels like you're not actually a permaregressor because of how you infantilize it and turn it into something cutesy and soft and uwu baby hehe haha. Fucking hell dude.

ok if you're gonna be rude to me im gonna be rude back. my life is ruined because of being permaregressed. ive set myself back, ive missed out on so many opportunities, i will never feel adequate or equal to anyone "my age," and on top of that i have been depressed and suicidal because of this and how much it has affected my life. do you think i wanna be a kid forever? genuinely, do you think im trying to make this seem desireable? bc if a headcanon for a fictional character makes the people you've made up in your head think "hm maybe permaregression isnt serious bc someone said ash from pokemon is a permaregressor" you AND them must be extremely fucking stupid because it's an image of a character on a flag. thats not setting anyone back, also we can't be set back bc we're not oppressed?? yeah we're different but holy shit we aren't having a movement/revolution. like this isn't hurting anybody. i shouldn't have to explain shit to you but i have cried so many tears and have trauma due to this shit. i never got a chance to grow up. i am stuck as this hurt child for the rest of my life and im forced to be someone i mentally am not able to be. i wake up and cry, i avoid my parents because im so ashamed i cant be the daughter they wanted. this obviously isnt "cute" and i would kill someone to not be this way, to have a chance at being somebody who's able to function through life properly so for you to say this shit just because i put a banner with stars and hearts is fucking ridiculous you piece of actual shit. not once on this fucking blog did i say it's fun being a permaregressor because it's NOT. dont tell me that it isnt. you dont know me, you dont know who i am, and you sure as hell aren't gonna tell me how my life is and how my experiences make me feel. it's hell. and i know that, and if you wanna get pissed at me for something as unharmful as headcanoning my favs for comfort then go ahead. i really don't give a shit.

i agree with you that permaregression should be studied. i headcanon a lot of my favorite characters have adhd or are autistic becahse it brings me comfort seeing my traits and disabilities in other characters. how is this any different? its not, so get the fuck over yourself. if i and many others have to live life with this painful mental space, being an age that physically and societally isnt acceptable as my true age, then im going to find comfort in seeing characters with the same traits as me. and i can assume that goes for others as well. the headcanons make me happy and find comfort. what do you have to say for canon permaregressor characters you dumbass?

and need i remind you that ash and kanna were requests, THIS IS A HEADCANON REQUEST BLOG. if someone wants to say ash is a permaregressor that's fine. it's not canon, it's not hurting you. you will live. and also who gives a fuck?? ITS A HEADCANON OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. and i will direct you back the last damn anon reply if you're gonna bitch about me matching the banners i put on my posts to the color of the flag and me using kaomojis and shit. if my blog disgusts you so bad block me. if you don't and keep fighting me over literally nothing, get off anon or just fuck off pussy.

[sleepless-rants]

hi sleepless, I hope you’re having (or, already had) a great day!!!!!!!! 💜💜

I was wondering if you had any ideas (or, headcanons for what it’s worth) on the curse the immortal khaneriahns were given? Since it seems to be somewhat different between the three we know (dain, rhine & chlothar) what do you think is. just them being them. or byproduct of curse? :’)

*starts rubbing my hands together like a fly*

OK. another brain dump

Firstly, funny how you mention the diffrences, because one thing that's been bugging me since the harbinger teaser and then again when we saw chlothar, was the way khaenri'ahns wear their eyepatch diffrently.

Having the right eye covered is obviously a theme, but dainsleif covers the corrupted area around his eye and not the eye itself (which seems to be a normal eye?? Intrestingly???), kaeya and pierro (both alberich and from the same family line I assume) have the eye itself covered as well, chlothar, despite being a few hundred years into his curse when we see him, does not have any abnormalities with his eye and nothing to cover. Irmin, from what we can tell from the statuette (and the fact that he's called the one eyed king obv), does have an abnormal eye but isnt covering it.

I theorised a while back that (to summarize) since we got confirmation from the melusine quest that abyssal creatures see the world diffrently, maybe khaenri'ahns who had their hand in abyssal power had one eye infected or smth and now cover it to avoid the abyss vision (cuz we know how the abyss vision worked out for durin and elynas :'D) BUT it could also have something to do with how the curse functions in terms of necrosis and whatnot.

Nevertheless the question of why are khaenri'ahns affected so diffrently by the same curse and same energy and same situation has been bothering me for a very long time. Other than the eyes theres so many examples of this. Think about dain and chlothar for a second. Chlothar's hands were so out of function after like 200 years that he couldnt pluck his own mushrooms, yet after 500 years dain is jumping around fighting five abyss mages at once.

And we already KNOW that other factors affect the functioning of the curse and its not just about blood. Black serpant knights and shwaneritter turn into shadowy husks, some of the people who accepted the abyss turned into abyss mages while others turned into abyss lectors / heralds. Then we have people like the baptist who turned into giga lectors.

Maybe its the rank you had in your khaenri'ah days that determines what the curse does to you? Maybe its your exposure to abyssal power? The main function of the curse is similar for everyone. It becomes a part of you, it eats away at your mind and body until theres nothing but a husk left. But how did some people delay this process? Does it have something to do with the eyes?

Also lets talk about the "thing" dain talked about in the chasm quest. Yknow the one thats supposed to slow down the symptoms of the curse.

"How have they managed to hold on to their consciousness for so long without 'it'?" Or something like that. What is that? And is it the same for every currently "still consious" khaenri'ahn? Are we then safe to assume its not some niche alchemical substance or something that only certain people can access?

I saw someone say it could be an irminsul branch which makes sense cuz

1- pierro rhine dain chlothar could all easily have access to it

2- we know that abyss mages and heralds (who also have their consiousness intact) carry them

PLS I HAVE SO MANY CURSE OF IMMORTALITY THOUGHTS BUT MY THUMBS ARE STINGING SO IMMA JUST LEAVE IT HERE FOR NOW

[fraternum-momentum]

wait waht weirdos?? also could we know your boundaries regarding your ocs? they’re really cool but it would be nice to know what is allowed and what isnt for making a character for this au. thanks 🤍🤍

Fortunately, there hasn't been any weird people in my inbox but some shit happened and i'd rather not elaborate bc it's not in my place to tell you about it, but for context, the gist of it was people were fighting over this person's oc and the creator and other people are getting harrased for it.

Another mutual of mine told me that they also had unpleasant experiences with an old blog of theirs, and they had to delete it bc of it.

I just don't want any infighting or harassment getting sent to other people over something that's honestly not that serious.

People design and create characters because it's fun. Why ruin it for everyone else?

Just please keep it all lighthearted and don't make it weird. Constantly check yourself and ask if what you're doing is ok or think about how your actions affect other people.

Reality checks are also important. Please keep in mind that these are just fictional characters in a fictional universe that i just made up. None of this shit is real.

ok so i'll establish the boundaries for my ocs:

Fanart is ok, sfw and nsfw. Thirsts in my inbox, tags, and comments are fine too, they're pretty funny actually AHSVA it's like wow is this what it feels like having bitches? LMAWDOAD but i digress.

I'm still unsure about ship art, because it'll inevitably get messy if i start allowing it. So for now, it's not allowed. I would be the only person that can draw my ocs interacting with your ocs/sonas/etc. Just think of it as like some sort of weird rp chatbot askblog or some shit,, i dont know.

I know it may seem hypocritical of me because i literally have a self insert but its just better to prevent potential shit from happening than finding a solution for it.

If ship art not being allowed somehow upsets you, then that's a sign that you're not welcome here.

My sona is a different story though, because it's basically just a representation of me so you can draw her ( or me??? idk lol) with your character. same thing, sfw and nsfw are okay. Thrists are fine (who would even do that anyway 💀💀) like i doubt anyone would start causing problems from me interacting with other ppl bc im a real person???????? idk??????? 😭ive alr drawn stuff with my mutuals too anyway so

[hellonerf]

OHH same anon as lasg time!!! now rhat we have confirmation of relationships can we maybe get a list of em?

OK... i will try my best... keep in your mind i am ame guy i always think about ame its a torturous existence but i will use this opportune to explain my 2ptalia. i wont make a list cz thats hard so i'll just write as much as i can. long paragraphs here we go

2p fra and 2p eng live in the manor and he's the head of the household there (of like two people lol). 2p eng plays the role of a stay at home mother and 2p fra the father. years back meri and nada lived there as the kids. 2p eng likes playing house but he wants full control of the house so its suffocating for the others. meri especially had always needed particular kinds of help and rejected alot of 2p england's ways. but 2p eng was also very particular about things so they clashed really badly. 2p eng fed him shit like human meat idk how to fit this in but this old 2p thing is so funny to me i have to keep it anyways that was a thing meri was kind of the problem child there. 2p eng did not like meri lol but it was under layers of strange lying and false affections

nada was like... a lying kid he'd just go with what was told of him quietly and kind of halfassedly to get things done. but he also would try to cool down situations to keep himself and meri safe. he fed meri wild berries or whatever other foods that meri wouldn't get sick from and puke out so he didn't end up seriously malnourished... a good older brother. if not a little aloof. (and meri could be difficult sometimes because. you know. obviously. and nada didnt always know how to respond to him properly). he is all annoyed by meri Now bcz of how clingy and needy he is and how meri seems to want him to prioritize his needs over nada's own. meri doesn't intend this but nada to him is someone who'd never drop him anyways and meri wants to feel whatever counts as happy at the moment (does whatever he wants lol).

2p fra is useless husband lol ok but he is a sad sad guy and he doesnt gaf anymore and just stays in the manor and during the brothers childhood mostly turned the other way. he can garden tho theres that! also 2p eng can actually cook he just does shit but he can cook well. hes demanding of his husband and purposefully difficult sometimes... likes testing him.

nada and 2p eng's relationship is a lot better but nada holds his tongue a lot anyways. they get along pretty okay and meri is like im really chill about that (not really)(but well nada likes me more than him anyways... he'll always take my side no matter what he tells england...). meri thinks 2p fra hates him too but 2p fra doesnt he just doesnt gaf about those damn kids. after meri and nada ran away 2p fra was like well i guess this family doesnt really have kids anymore. and 2p eng waslike no they just left for college. (2p fra: college doesnt exis.t.. okay). now meri and nada adventures the small deserted world they live in on a shitty motorcycle doing errands and jobs for people.

now for other guys. 2p ita is an asshole to like everyone but he gets things done. he keeps things in line in most of the area though some people dont listen to him even if he threatens them. he's pretty aware of whats his strengths and what isnt so hes calculating about who and how he exerts control... hes the one who figured out the very faraway portal door to 1p world. he lives in a long asymmetric tower that looks like a radio tower... 2p ger works here for him and basically lives there too. 2p ger is a kind of mechanic thats weirdly clumsy but also really good at his work. (2p ger gives us gratuitous fanservice from tripping over lines that werent there previously and 2p ita pops three whole blood vessels at once!) 2p jp is the bodyguard ish. but he kind of hates being under people so he doesnt always listen to his bosses. (2p ita knows how to get him to listen tho even if its a hassle). 2p ita hires meri and nada to do shit sometimes (mostly nada cz meri is worse at listening than him. but meri shows up there anyways so they get to know each other's working styles). they dont like each other but due to a job now 2p ger, meri, and nada all know about the door so he has to figure out to keep them in check about it

2p pru is 2p ger's older brother that was a major deal but lost his whole arm!!! and is now weak and sad. so 2p ger mostly takes care of him and his mechanical arm. 2p ger has little loyalty to people, but he takes care of his brother anyways. he'd probably sell him out lol but then take care of him after anyways.

2p roma is on the radio Oh i forgot to mention everyone has a little walkie talkie or radio that connects to the radio tower and this is like their only source of entertainment (unless germy lets them borrow his shitty laptop) and well communication of sorts. anyways hes on the radio always and has to keep coming up with material and sometimes has to pretend like hes 2p ita when giving announcements... 2p ita thinks hes annoying and thinks whatever "entertainment" he gives on the radio sucks ass but they got each others backs anyways.

2p japan as i said is a kind of bodyguard but he's very protective of his work and also not friendly like at all. 2p chi is not rly his mentor but they keep running into each other anyways. 2p chi is kind of true idgaf guy he lives in one of the houses closer to the radio tower because its convenient and he couldnt care less about the other people around. he keeps a lot of old things in his house like old jewelry old trinkets just old old things of their world. he might've been the one who found the laptop and just gave to it to 2p ger just cz he asked. 2p ger gets his mechanical materials from him because nobody else keeps shit they find cause they suck and are lazy. so germys always like man that guys the best! and 2p japan grits his teeth and stars come out from him gritting his teeth cz of how hard he grit his teeth. 2p chi does not gaf abt 2p japan of course its like a weird beef... he keeps the old trinkets because its useful and he might find a thing or two that makes his life more convenient... if not he'll sell or give them away. he listens to the radio and thinks it sucks but not much else to do.

2p spain is a little further away from the radio tower but he's there. he lives in someplace that looks like a church but if you walk in its basic house interior. he is a shit guy but knows and keeps and sells information around here. 2p ita has beef with him for that(but its fine... he's a patient guy... kgh...) and instead of talking directly for managing stuff he just sends 2p roma to do it.(romas like i dont rly wanna... but fine.. cz im just rly charitable...) 2p spain likes throwing glass at people thats just a thing he does. meri and nada doesnt like doing jobs for him but he pays a lot so they do it anyways. 2p ger wouldnt mind working for him but 2p spain doesnt trust his weird mechanics and technology... he does things manually. of course he doesnt know but many things of his house runs on the same mechanics...

2p russia is closer to the radio tower than 2p spain is but relatively not close. he likes keeping the plants and ecosystem in this world alive because nobody else is managing it. (2p fra would but he's in that fuckass manor all the time... this pisses 2p rus alot cz instead of being useful to the environment hes just There). meri has no idea but the only reason there was wild berries all around and various non-meat food is cz of 2p rus. 2p rus barely knows of him tho he just hears abt them like oh those two who would do anything for a little piece of money. 2p russia always has the radio on because information is valuable even if right now its just a shitty improvised soap opera on the radio... he doesnt like other people and only interacts if he must.

aaand i forgot to mention but 2p eng's manor has one singular radio connected to the radio tower but its like always turned off and hidden. 2p eng doesnt like 2p ita and doesnt agree with how he runs things at all and is the one who is most uncooperative with him. thats why 2p eng is really secluded living in the manor... he's the furthest away from the radio tower. 2p ita thinks hes a freak but hes mostly not causing trouble for him so he lets him do whatever that shit is.

[mo-ok]

A curated list of Lost Galaxy observations (as the worlds number one Gingaman enjoyer). Ordered from "found this fun" to "grinding my teeth very mad losing sleep over this"

1 - i absolutely love how all over the place they are about emulating Gingaman's I C O N I C running. They kinda sorta do it sometimes but no one ever seems committed to it and its so fucking funny. Like an embarrassed kid not wanting to play "yes and" in front of his friends in drama class. Delightful.

2 - Endlessly amused by Mike's Aura Changer. Ki ryoku tenshin. Mike of the heavenly ring star. Cow Ranger.

3 - They only ever use the washed out/thrown overboard/kinda dead Bucrates suit for Kegler (they dont actually use ANY Gingaman footage for this character isnt that fun)

4- The Gingaman Yartotos: baby boy, baby. The Lost Galaxy Swabbies: evil. Its the eyes man, why are they looking at me like that

5 - what's up with the big ass scar on Captain Mutiny's chest?? It's cool and makes him look like a battle hardened pirate but also he never had this in Gingaman (not even in the megaranger crossover) and i wanna know how it happened

6 - Magna Defender comes back as a ghost and tells Mike to kill himself this has nothing to do with anything i just think its so fucking funny.

"Killing myself fixed all of my problems. You should give it a try"

7 - these poor suits are absolutely wrecked lmao i wonder if thats one of the reasons Mike never does anything. the texture on the magna defender suit is making me feel like i need to wash my hands

8 - i'm beating my head against a wall over these. how do you even fucking manage. very funny tho hi Gouki hi Shelinda

9 - Are the Torozord, Centaurus and Stratoforce Megazords not sentient??? Like, they are just as self aware as the other galactabeasts right?????? WHY DID ABSOLUTELY NO ONE FUCKING CARE WHEN THEY ALL GOT BLOWN UP??????????? none of them appear in the crossover so I'm making the assumption that they died for good and NO ONE. CARED. is the Zenith Carrierzord ok? does he miss them????? this actually hurt my feelings tbh

10 - this is THE BIGGEST nitpick i have and really it doesnt affect anything and i'm only upset because of how much i love Hyuuga but

Mike suddenly just HAVING THE KNIGHT AXE fucking gutted me. I lost count of the amount of times this team suddenly had a new weapon at their disposal with no explanation and typically this kinda shit doesnt bother me but you CANNOT just give the Defender Torozord this FUCKING AXE. this axe is so important to Hyuuga's character and story arc and Mike just fucking pulls it out of his big cow ass, uses it like twice, and then blows up the Torozord. IN FACT, I DONT THINK HE EVEN USES IT OUTSIDE OF THE MEGAZORD.

ALSO. dont use the close ups of the Defender Torozords head moving around like he's talking if you arent goiNG TO LET HIM ACTUALLY TALK he looks so silly

BONUS - this is from the Lightspeed Rescue crossover but like jesus fucking christ they dont even use the morphers like this why did they use this footage who made this decision i would like to speak to them

[lains-reality]

Hey! (This is pretty long if you don’t mind reading it.)

So I want to start by using my success story as an example: I had an appointment and I did SATS the night before. There wasn’t a thought In my mind I TRULY knew that I was not going to that appointment, and that morning I still felt that way, as I was getting ready to go. And basically when I got there they ended up being closed and I went home.

But the thing is now I’m starting to panick and worry especially because the new school year. I want so many things and I tell myself “ok tonight I’m gonna do the same thing I did that one night I successfully cancelled my appointment” but it’s just so frustrating because it’s like I’m not in the same mindset. It just feels like I’m forcing it, like I’m affirming from my body and not from self.

I’m just very lost because I find myself through the day identifying very heavily with my body and when I tell myself “this isnt you, you are self” and things of that nature I doubt it because I don’t FEEL it. It just feels like I’m talking to myself. And I saw the ‘do i want the desire or freedom’ post and it really meant something to me. Because my desire is to have all of these things for school and to have a happy family but freedom for me looks like no school and like living in a castle or something. But like even with freedom I still get to experience anything I imagine.

I’m sorry if that was a horrible explanation, and feedback? (Thank you in advance!)

"it just feels like i'm forcing it"

then stop. let yourself be frustrated. it's not a waste of time or unproductive to let yourself be frustrated - why put more worries onto yourself? just sit with the feelings, get them all out until you feel better, the feelings are coming up for you to release them.

you're trying to get yourself back into a mindset you had before. but it doesn't matter what the mind is doing, when you know who you are. there's no convincing to do. (also here, you're making the condition of the old mindset the only way that you can get something)

last night i felt weird. before, the body had anxiety problems and so last night my mind was like "do something, i dont like this!!" and i folded. i went onto yt to listen to my usual calming vid (eft tapping abt fear), but then i thought "no!! i don't wanna do this anymore, it was probably wind (as i burped earlier) i want to go towards love, not live in fear!" and so i went to a different eft tapping vid abt feeling love. and then i went bed lol

in that moment i remembered i am not the body, and i also asked myself what do i want to choose, love or fear?

you don't have to feel you are not the body, it's just the truth. if conviction/remembering isn't "working", another path is self inquiry.

ramana is like the specialist of self inquiry, its like his thing lol. i've read like a paragraph's worth of his teachings. but it was extremely helpful. i'll show you a little of my self inquiry.

mind = memories, thoughts, feelings. i cannot be a memory, wouldn't i be transported back to when when i remember one? i can see one through visualisation. its not now, so its generated again. i cannot be thoughts -> i can say 'stop walking' whilst walking. also how do you be a thought?? the mind is everything in the inner world so if i was born elsewhere, everything would be different in the mind. so its moulded by society, time, location etc. so even when the mind changes so many times, i'm still here. so i'm not it. i cannot be a feeling, i can feel it or recognise it. i am still here when i feel good or bad -> not the feelings. so who's the one recognising? i cannot be my name - its an identifier for the body.

the body tripped me up several times whilst questioning it:

the idea 'i am the body' leads to beauty standards, hatred, genetics, midlife crisis etc.

i saw that 'i am the body' is clearly not the greatest idea. but i couldn't answer why i wasn't it. until i remembered that the mind can affect the body:

the body has reactions (e.g. anxiety) to the mind & it's stories it wants to protect from. memories, feelings, thoughts all pop up and the body reacts to it. does that mean the body is a component of the mind? if it can affect it.

if you've read my "nondualism and manifestation" post then you'll see that idea there again. i also had my faith strengthened when 4dbarbie talked about astral projection in one of her posts. i totally forgot about ap! after days of confusion and slight frustration, i understood a little more and so i finally got to a point where i was like 'no more identifying as it!'

question everything. this doubting leads you to be able to ask whether there's something more than the body-mind, and allows you to accept more. and gives you the courage to just stop identifying as the body.

self inquiry for you

if you can be aware of images, feelings & thoughts all through visualization, memories, dreams, and the "real world", whats the difference?

what is the mind? what is it made up of?

are you the body? are you you're name?

notice how you say "my hand" or "my mind". is the body-mind something you own or are?

if there wasn't any mind to point stuff out and identify as it, would there be a world? would there be a body?

what is the difference between this character and your ideal character?

what if this character is only here because you believe you are it?

do you still exist in the absense of that thing? [e.g. no memories, do you still exist?]

what would you be doing if you weren't influenced by the reaction of likes and dislikes?

what happens to the body when you sleep?

reading

mindset

disbelieve

challenge all

the path of sri ramana (the part i want you to read is part 1, ch.4)

[kaeyapilled]

what do you think about the kaeya = caribert theory? i saw some people use it as an 'explanation why his skin is dark' like. oh he used to be a Monster and the skin is a remnant of it :) and it pissed me off so bad. i need to know what other people think about it

its honestly not a theory im super fond of i think its a little stupid no offense. i dont think it makes a lot of sense? to go super in depth i'd have to take another look at the caribert quest (and maybe read up on the khaenri'ah lore we have so far again) but i kinda feel like it establishes pretty firmly that kaeya couldnt be caribert. descended from that branch of the family maybe (though im more fond of the theory that kaeya is descended from the branch of alberichs that were actually being regents, something that chlothar wasnt involved in because he distanced himself from the rest of the family to look after his son) (makes sense that kaeya would know more about the alberichs being the regents in khaenri'ah than he knows about an alberich being the founder of the abyss order) (theres a post about it i reblogged it some time ago and it hasn't left my mind since) but like.. him actively being caribert? sounds.. honestly really dumb to me.. don't ask me how kaeya isnt (or at least doesn't seem to be) affected by any curse, be it monsterification or immortality, but i just feel like that isnt the explanation. the actual explanation could be related to the events in caribert though.. cant wait for them to tell us what it actually is lol. on the off chance that this fucking theory is true then ill just bite my tongue i guess but i know im right. ok now moving on to the elephant in the room. what kind of take even is thatttttt "thats why his skin is dark"what is bro talking about🔥🔥‼️ if i read that with my own two eyes id block a person SO fast. why would you say that and treat it as serious evidence and backing for your theory. thats just. racism basically. what. anyways kaeya whos half from sumeru supremacy

[yuukei-yikes]

OKAY YOU'VE UNLEASHED THE BEAST. so like we all know the post str harutaka dynamic is all lovey dovey etc because FINALLY! WE ARE TOGETHER!!!!!!! sort of thing well kanoshin is literally the opposite. in my fucked up head post str kanoshin dynamic at the time this would occur is shintaro after breaking up w/ ayano and ALSO takane is trying to distance themself from him so he's basically like a sopping wet cat in cardboard box on kano's doorstep that kano has also been pining for secretly and unwillingly for like 2 years. so to me kanoshin is basically shintaro: heem heem whimper (super vulnerable doesnt even care if it's gay at this point or if he has feelings for kano he just needs to be held he can think abt all of that later) kano: okayyyy whatever ^w^ (what the hell is going on what i am doing why is shintaro in my arms where am i) and that repeats 100 times in post shinaya breakup divorce. mix in shintaro's horrible capacity for affection since he doesnt think he wants to be hated but also wants to be loved but he should be hated blah blah blahand with kano it's like he validates both of that, that makes zero sense when i type it out but trust me it makes sense in my head. so ignoring canon i think takane and kano r definitely besties bc they r basically the Same Guy????? which like u said it's even acknowledged IN kano's novel where he's like "yep she's twisted JUST like me" also fun fact the same ost that plays over the kano and seto scene where he opens up abt everything in mca ALSO plays over the scene where takane and ayano discuss takane's feelings abt haruka im SOOOOO normal abt that fact. in my mind they r talking or smthn and shintaro gets brought up and kano somehow lets it slip with a "soooo did shintaro ever also kiss you or something haha :3c" and takane's like "what" and that's how takane found out. and i think takane would have REALLY mixed feelings abt that especially bc like "uhhh how would ayano feel?" but when he goes to talk to shintaro abt it a bit more (codependency in the mix bc in her mind it's like well surely shintaro will tell me soon anyway bc he tells me everything bc he needs to tell me. normal things to think) he looks at them like he just shit himself. i kind of forget where i was going with this. but if they EVER did go on a double date it would be so awkward bc harutaka r Normal and kanoshin is Very Much Not Normal. but because takane and haruka are the only ones who know abt kano and shintaro's weird not relationship and shintaro and kano cant stand being alone together for a long amount of time bc it forces them to confront their feelings but also want to be together it's the perfect solution. this kind of goes hand in hand with shintaro's heavy reliance on takane, it's like codependency......2!!!!!! but kano is Also there. SORRY THIS SOUNDS INSANE AND IS SOOOOO LONG IM SORRY im normal

OK im putting answer under the cut only cuz the ask is already long and its so scrolling it on my blog isnt a nightmare for myself 💗 it largely turned into me talking abt takane like always sooo teehee

NO UR NOT INSANE U ARE SO NORMAL!!!!!!! this is EXACTLY IT. shintaro&kano insanity in between shinaya breakup/takane distancing itself from shintaro ahaihvsuxhemxksjxlwkdowkdw (EXPLOSION)

also the ost thing!!! i had to go check and i got so excited stupid like YESS YESSSSS ILOVE THAT KINDA SHIT not to sidetrack on takane/harutaka but that would've been so so so good if the anime hadn't fucked up and made takane all happy when running before dying. like takane was so terrified of being in love with haruka she wasn't like omg teeheee im gonna confess my feelings💗 she was like (RUNNING) THIS SUCKS SO BADDDDDDD AUGGHHHHHH like she DID have an epiphany. but it wasn't like... HAPPY. takane was so terrified!!!! sorry. IM NOT GONNA SIDETRACK TO HARUTAKA IM NOT but str takane finally managing to confess to haruka i think its rly funny if then haruka's of course like I LOVE U TOO are we dating then :3 and takane's like WHAT!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT!!! and haruka's like WELL U LIKE ME? AND I LIKE U? SO WE SHOULD DATE??? and takane's like I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT FAR AHEAD I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU GIVE ME A SECOND TO PROCESS like this bitch never once stops to worry if haruka likes her back or not, if it'd be awkward if he didnt and how it'd be like to date if he did, NOTHING. granted that she dies immediately after realising so maybe she just didnt get to that point LMAO but i love this about takane's character like she just doesnt fucking think about it they just WANT TO TELL HIM!!! and then up to str she never imagines seeing haruka again and now he's here and she's too happy and relieved to even go back to this realisation and give time to worry about WHAT IT REALLY MEANS to confess her feelings. theyre just like i need to tell him he needs to know.and haruka's like I Love You Too. takane acting like he's insane for that. haruka rly has to give takane like 10 or 20 minutes of freakout for them to be like omg💗

i said i wouldnt sidetrack to harutaka then did . whatever. This is who i am. erm. oh yeah the ost. SO kano finally managing to let one of his siblings comfort him is obviously scary to him, takane's reaction at ayano's words abt how shintaro needs someone selfish to pull him forward and how she has to be honest to haruka is also scary to her. So having that ost in both these scenes....SO GOOD!!!

i WOULDN'T GO AS FAR AS TO SAY kano and takane are the same guy but i know what u mean. like i said in ur other ask man their PARALLELS... both are playing a role.. (holds head)

theyre not the same guy but theyre heavily like. people with the same ideas but different goals idk. to me its more like... sorry for ripping on takane so much but she is so damn stupid. like emotionally. takane is DUMB takane is SO DAMN OBLIVIOUS ALL THE TIME. While kano is very smart and i think he acts in a very calculated way, kano isn't oblivious at all

i'm pretty sure ALL the kano&takane interactions are from kano's point of view, and maybe the fact they're so similar is why kano is always so mean spirited to her in his pov. like he sees too much of him in them so he's like lol FUCK YOU. like kano always acts so annoyed towards takane. i hate how in the fifth novel takane getting its body back is so brushed off and kano doesnt even help her, and then he's like augh i dont wanna see her right now. like u just traumadumped that bitch to hell and then not only do you not help her get her body back but u also act all weird about having to see her. jail for kano for 1000 years.

But like to me he acts that way... takane IS the first person kano ever opens up to precisely bc he sees himself in her, and like him she is secretly someone else. kano resents takane because she's a lot like him BUT.... BETTER.

kano acts kind of like a brat to takane yet says he doesnt want her to dislike him and SAYS that he is jealous of takane.

this line MEANS SO MUCH TO ME *GOES INSANE*

i think kano is rly jealous of takane bc she's a lot like him yet she's a good person. and he doesn't think he is a good person. and on top of it takane's the one who stays by shintaro's side who kano cant stand so he resents her x2. im not a fan of what mca did in ep 7 with kano&ene but for kano to go as far as do that to someone who never did Anything to him just bc he's pissed to another guy. like man kano is such a fucking jerk to takane in all routes and it's never treated as heavy as it is. tortures her with turning into haruka and takes his frustration out on her abt people moving on (which his siblings&shintaro do yet he chooses TAKANE to take it out on who is in an even worse position than everyone else bc shes dead like girl whats it supposed to do SHES JUST TRYING TO LIVE THEIR LIFE OR WHATEVER IS LEFT OF IT AND AT LEAST HELP SOMEONE SHE LOVES MOVE ON TOO) and also traumadumps them and then leaves her to her own devices to get her body back. like fuck that. kano sucks so bad and takane always forgives him so easily. this is partly cuz again the narrative sorta brushes it off coughs coughs the narrative doesnt take takane seriously cough cough but TO ME!! TAKANE'S JUST A GOOD GUY💗 i think takane forgiving him so easily also pisses off kano bc it shows how good takane is and it drives him crazy. takane when 2 guys (kano and shintaro) are absolutely fucking horrible to her and she's like its ok we are best friends👍 again i think takane's just not taken seriously enough and its like yeah takane forgives everyone or doesnt care because we dont need her angry abt it in the story. but to me theyre just so niceys.

god i havent even talked abt kanoshin yet sorry for my takane brainworms you dont understand she is everything to ME!!! TAKANE ENOMOTOOOO‼️‼️‼️ in my defense u said most of the kanoshin stuff which i 100% agree with.

what i didnt even think abt is kano kind of telling takane thru wondering if shintaro ever felt that way abt her bc theyre so similar so kano's like well. if he likes me maybe he liked takane. HEHE GOOD ONE. good one..... augh takane having the warmth of ayano and the mischief of kano. listen to me. im rly so crazy about takane i think all the characters inside of kagepro should be crazy abt her too. sorry i started abt takane again. whatever. takane💗

i also think theyd be the first to find out (and seto but he is not a danger) mostly bc. GOSSIP GRAVITATES TOWARDS HER finds out by chance rather than kano telling her but i DO LOVE THAT CONCEPT OF KANO WONDERING IF SHINTARO EVER LIKED TAKANE kano's first lethal mistake is asking HER though. i think he would rather ask shintaro but FOR THE SAKE OF THE SCENARIO, SURE

ok but thats rly funny haruka and takane being the only ones to know and shintaro and kano not wanting to be alone and forcing them to be there😭 also how would haruka know... I LOVE haruka being up to date with mekakushi dan gossip literally just because he's dating gossip central takane but he just doesnt do anything with the info cuz hes like well i know that now. i think takane just starts talking and goes on and on and haruka's drawing and gasping and being like omg wow really. theyre so silly. i have a hc that during hs takane looks out their classroom window that happens to face a Popular Confession Place and she sits there to watch like its tv. shes like look haruka another one. this one's also getting rejected. haruka's like Takane is so easily entertained💗

but yeah. i think that's how haruka would know. personally i think kano&shintaro would rather be alone bc theyre both terrified of this relationship and wouldnt want anyone to know PLUS i already like takane as relationship mediator to shinaya so doing it to her twice in a row seems just cruel Like at this point takane is living their best domestic harutaka cat parent life ok. like leave it tf alone!! give them a break!! however it is extremely comical. most painful awkward time ever with kanoshin & harutaka

so ill accept it. like its fucking funny. erm. sorry this is all over the place.

[sabaramonds]

dmdp posting again. hey guys. MANGA SPOILERS !!! ive rambled about this on discord and on twitter in bits and pieces but it haunts me so im going to talk about it again here. so theres this song i heard a month or so ago, turtles all the way down by sammy copley, and every time i listen to it i start tearing myself apart at the seams over the corpse god and his emperor (and once again i will be referring to them strictly as their titles because, again, if you havent read the entire manga and been edged for 80 chapters, it just isnt right...) typical ok this got super long so im actually putting it under a cut this time but 👇 go forth if you want to be subjected to the depths of my illness

anyway!!! i just cant help it. everything about it perfectly encapsulates their relationship from corpse gods perspective. like

im not well as you can tell by the way i havent looked you in the eye im about to lie and say im fine but inside you and i know thats not true but its either this or let my burden weigh on you and that i just cant do so ill choose for the both of us and youll just go along because youve trusted me for no good reason here i am, committing treason force the last page of our story one more boring allegory hope to god youll rise above me; always bite the hand the loves me mine, mine is the unkind kindest cut of all and ill watch you fall

i feel crazy. “but its either this or let my burden weigh on you / and that i just cant do / so ill choose for the both of us” because corpse god doesnt want to burden his emperor more than he already has; his emperor has already dirtied his hands for him. thats already too much. “youve trusted me for no good reason / here i am committing treason / force the last page of our story” because he feels as if he is unworthy of his emperors love and trust and kindness and that aside from what hed done under a foreign necromancers influence, the grief and rage that possessed him to act in violence made him even more unworthy - made him a traitor to his masters teachings, to his emperors affection... even before we got further context for their relationship in the last few chapters of the most recent arc (civil having his #girl moment) i wrote in “the ghost of who you were” that corpse gods escapist fantasy of seeking out a world, or creating one, where his emperor would never have to dirty his hands on corpse gods behalf - or on the behalf of any child subjected to violence by adults who should love them - was an impossible dream he chased in an attempt to outrun the forgiveness of his emperor (though, to his emperor, there is nothing to forgive at all) also “hope to god youll rise above me; always bite the hand that loves me / mine is the unkindest kindest cut of all / and ill watch you fall” so fucking prophetic. to me. about corpse god choosing for both of them (sealing away his emperor and other spirits hed contracted with deep within himself so they could not reach out to him and judge him for what he had done) and the fact he did, indeed, watch his emperor fall; he had done it himself, with his own two hands, as unwillingly as it had been.

and i am aware that its not fair to bring you here then send you on your way you had so much to say and to ask like, “why am i not cut out for the task of loving you forever, of holding you and never wanting less?” well, i can take a guess see, i could choose for the both of us and youll just go along because youve trusted me for no good reason love, no matter what the season; force the last page of our story youre my favorite allegory hope to god that youll forgive me; my mistakes will long outlive me mine, mine is the unkind kindest cut of all and ill watch you fall

ripping my face off as i listen to this song and think about them right now. as we speak. “and im aware that its not fair / to bring you here then send you on your way” like every single part of this. “hope to god that youll forgive me / my mistakes will long outlive me” corpse god binding his emperors soul to him (consensually) only to push him away in the aftermath out of guilt and grief and feelings of inadequacy. his emperor never stopped wanting him, not even when corpse god became one of the undead himself; not even when he was nothing but bones held together by his masters magic, a brain in a jar kept cradled close to his frail, fleshless vessel... in his emperors own words: “no matter what youve turned into, the empire and i are always on your side.” in chapter 80, he says to corpse god, “being alive isnt about whether or not youre dead body. its about whether youre looking to the future or not.” he follows this up by addressing corpse god not by the title he himself had given him, but by his name (BRAIN DAMAGING) (I WAS ON THE FLOOR WRITHING LIKE A WORM)

and i dont know if this makes it any easier perhaps youll find comfort when i say: you and i are nothing more than meteors, never meant to live long past today yes. ill choose for the both of us: youll just go along because you trusted me against your judgement you deserve someone who doesnt force the last page of your story no more boring allegories hope to god youll rise above me, though youll always be part of me mine, mine is the unkind kindest cut of all ill watch you fall now watch me fall

most of the song i feel very strongly reads as corpse gods perspective but “perhaps youll find comfort when i say / you and i are nothing more than meteors, never meant to live long past today” feels like such an emperor thing to say. when you are a child emperor, you are braced for political assassination; when you are from a land where necromancy is a real and thriving art, your fear of death can be softened by the knowledge that if the one you love outlives you (even if their own flesh, too, is long gone) then your voice will still be heard by those who matter. though even then, the emperor is quite a funny guy. he loved corpse god before he was corpse god; he loved him when he was flesh and bone, loved him when that flesh dissolved and he was left as just a skeleton of who he had been; he loved him when corpse god killed him, loved him when corpse god bound them together. and always, he waited for when corpse god would be ready to face him, waited for him to be able to live. because corpse god was not alive before. if we go off of the emperors idea of “being alive” meaning “looking forward”, corpse god was always looking down or looking back; caught in his past, his regrets, his fears. i mentioned what his emperor said in chapter 80. in chapter 81, the opening page of corpse god is him smiling at the sight of his emperors back, thinking to himself: “unlike me, you only ever looked ahead. how could you keep your eyes trained forward on what was to come? i didnt understand at the time (and here, we see corpse god as he once was: face hidden by a bone mask and cowl, unsmiling) but now, i think i get it a little.” he thinks this as he watches his emperor dirty his hands on his behalf once again. he called for his emperor willingly, this time; he asked for his help, not as a subject beseeches their lord, but as a friend. an equal, the way his emperor had always treated him; he is ready to be alive, now. he is ready to look forward instead of past, to accept his emperors forgiveness, his love; to think of himself as worthy returning that love and wait i forgot lol i was so caught up in the insanity of the emperors perspective in those first few lines and segueing into corpse gods growth during the latest arc that i forgot to talk about “hope to god youll rise above me / though youll always be part of me” wanting his emperor to have better than what he does (corpse god) but wanting to always keep part of him with him + “ill watch you fall / now watch me fall” literally he killed his emperor with his own hands (unwillingly) and then his downward spiral in his grief and when he eventually went absolutely bananas on those geldwood cultists giving them a brutal torturous death for murdering the orphan children he was caring for at the time and believing his actions had made him unworthy of the power he wielded and (holding my head) as you can tell i think about this song and about them a normal amount. i think ill stop talking here. for now. i just. oh my god. theyve come so far. the fact corpse god is able to face his emperor now. jesus christ 😭 if you think im bad about these two just wait until i start talking about civil. lol

[time-bone-swap-au]

Spoiler from season 4 idk what episode AAAAAAA

Now that it is known that MK is a stone monkey and that's why he had the powers of Wukong (unless it is a theory that has been interpreted as canon, if thats the case I apologize for bringing wrong information...), How would this affect the AU swap? Since Bai He exchanged lives with MK, would that make her a stone monkey with part of LBD's soul? Or is MBK still a stone monkey but with some of LBD powers?ヘ⁠（⁠。⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠ヘ

And if my memory serves me correctly, it was said that MBK uses makeup to mark that monkey mark on his face? So if he's still a stone monkey, would the mark be of his monkey form or he doesn't have it and recreates it with makeup?

Sorry if you don't understand the questions, blame the translator for misphrasing my words. ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡

Ok- so…

MK is still a stone monkey, however his creation did not happen in this timeline.

The way this swap AU works is that MK was transported to the past otherwise known as taken. He was given half of LBD’s soul which causes him to lose SOME of his powers and gain SOME of LBD’s powers. But it doesn’t change his species.

So yes, technically he’s a stone monkey with bone demon powers.

As for Bai He she’s LBD’s reincarnation, she ISNT a stone Monkey, Bai He was reincarnated as a human with misogynistic parents. She was abandoned at 5-6 before Tang found her.

So no monkey demon shenanigans…

As for the mark, he actually uses LBD’s shapeshifting abilities to retain human features, unlike MK who has been using glamour to hide his form as a monkey. Something, something, he doesn’t know how to use glamour.

So when he was transported, the first thing he saw that he was a very snow-white albino monkey retaining LBD’s features. The marking on MK’s human form is make-up that he wears because he wants to associate himself with Wukong. He doesn’t do orange, because in this AU, his markings are blue, not orange and it’s the first time he saw himself.

As for the whole timeline of events and how that effects the Goddess Nuwa who might’ve created him, I’m just going to tell you that yes, she did create a stone monkey from this timeline, but MK is a stone monkey from the OG! Timeline.

[mindbleeds]

hey ok so this is risky cause i want to write it out but in the back of my head i know that you are probably going to find something wrong with it or something to point out about it idea- leave it the fuck alone challenging each other is what weve built this upon

fuck a challenge when all i ever hear is that im wrong see how quick it turned personal

i dont think you understand it (try not to take it personally) this was never, never ever, meant for you

so drop it i tell you that you matter why you still trying to throw a pity party?

its fucking manipulative and its got my head all twisted

how you project then we fuck then you say im deflecting

when all i wanted you to do was hold me literally thats it

but wait hold on somehow now i am the one who asked for help and isnt properly recieving it the way it was intended

tell me how you wanted me

to interpret what you were saying

like what the fuck babe i dont think you hear yourself sometimes then when im finally talking you want nothing to do with it

these matters dont even affect me all that much now i know where to go do you know where i am did you try to go looking

maybe if you read it written down it will make sense.

it is manipulative for you to sit me down under the guise of offering *unsolicited* help (ill take help whenever and whereever because god knows i need it) then replay the past two days bit by bit breaking me down then saying you have a point to make

what the fuck. ive confided in you the best that i can and i am pushing to break through to something more i swear. be patient but fuck man thats like me saying “hey i see you” (fuck i cant even go there) i wont get mad

just try to get better