#i need strict and clear guidelines with my friends

[oddishfemme]

no but like. WHAT CHANGED. literally can't wrap my head around this.

[am-i-even-really-heree]

okkkkk so Im not looking for like an ana coach exactly but maybe something similar?

to be clear I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A DOM

I just want someone to share my calorie intake with at the end of the day, my plans for the next day, give me praise/ encouragement when I'm lower than my budget, tell me gently to do better if I get to close to/ over my budget, and give me honest feed back about my intake (tell me when I ate too much, give me encouragement to do better, call me out when I'm slacking/ not doing enough)

I don't want someone who's gonna bully me the way I bully myself, just someone to hold me accountable. I feel like I disappoint myself all the time so for the past five days when I've went over my budget it didnt feel like anything new. anything too bad. I really just need someone to hold me accountable but like in a friend way? idk how to describe it, I do not want this to be sexual, don't be too harsh, I WILL NOT SEND BODY CHECKS, I mostly want someone who will talk me out of eating when I have the urge to do it unnecessarily

rules? guidelines? idk 😭

THIS IS NOT SEXUAL. anyone looking for a Dom/ sub dynamic, your not gonna get that here, and that is a very strict and firm boundary. you will be blocked if u make things sexual

I'll tell you outright when I want meanspo but don't give it if I don't ask for it. too much just discourages me

I want someone to talk me out of eating in an encouraging way ("youve been doing so good today, why ruin it?" etc.)

maybe share thinspø? not too sure about that one yet

def wanna share tips tho

like I said before no body checks

I have to eat at least 300 calories a day/ 2-3 times a day cuz parents -_- (1 light breakfast, 1 "proper" dinner {proper is a loose term here sometimes I can get away with less and sometimes I can't yk} and a lunch if I'm not feeling well/ my body needs it)

I have to eat enough so that I'm not throwing up/ passing out at work

I can't purge (also cuz parents)

I want someone I have to notify when and what I'm eating

maybe someone to share my meal plans with idk tho cuz my meal plans are not firm and there is room for change but I do like to stick to around the same number as what's planned and I don't always plan what I'm eating in advance so we'll see

ummmm idrk how to put this but I don't want it to be a mutual thing? I'm not really comfortable giving other ppl the feedback I'm asking for

I'll share my steps/ burned calories if I tracked it but I usually dont

I'll add any if I think of more/ tell you as it comes up what I like and don't like

listen, I don't like the idea of an ana coach 😭 I think the concept is fucked up but like I feel like it's what I need to stay in track right now

I AM PRO RECOVERY!!!!

anywayyy dm me if ur interested?

[restforthe-burdenedsoul]

I thought I had therapy tomorrow, but it’s actually NEXT week ughh I need a session so badly.

——

I’ve been talking on and off with M about all the lgbt+ attacks happening in Florida. We learned about a new bill that’s trying to be passed that could prevent him from getting anymore gender affirming care. I’m sure the bill will continue to get more watered down as it goes through the different stages (I am so not political and have been doing my best to learn how this all works so bear with my fake terms and inability to explain properly).

I have a theory with zero proof to back it up, so take that as you want. The “don’t say gay” bill was testing the waters. They came in strong with it and it initially passed as a very watered down version of what they wanted. No lgbt+ sexual education K-3. And you think “what teacher would go into that kinda detail anyway?” But it opened the door to updates and more strict guidelines. Now look at where we are at.

I don’t know the name of the bill, but this one barring gender affirming care of minors. From my understanding of reading the actual bill text, this isn’t an all out ban, but is testing the waters to see how much further they can push it. The bill we learned about yesterday would push into adult care.

M has kind of been living in ignorance until now. My brain has been on board to leave Florida for months now, but there was zero relief hearing that M doesn’t want to stay here either.

We started the house buying process, but I’ve felt so uneasy about it. It took not even a year for so many restrictions to be put in place for lgbt+ people and it’s not stopping. Even if these bills don’t pass, there are many people in Florida actively trying to erase this community and Desantis stands by with a smile on his face welcoming this hate.

——

Anyway. We’re looking to Delaware. There’s been a lot of forward movement for the rights of lgbt+ people. It seems that the north and west of the US are the places to be. However, the west coast is too far from my parents and the north has too much snow (never again would I want to live in New England haha). Delaware is a nice middle ground. 2-3 hour flight from my parents and 1-2hr drive from my friends and extended family. I think we could feasibly make this move and not feel totally alone and unsupported.

This is not a make or break factor, but my mom has been wanting to move back to New Jersey for at least a year now (and initially wanted to retire in Delaware). My dad doesn’t want to move, but I wonder if my parents would end up following us up north. M’s mom would likely follow as well.

——

It feels scary. I had no intentions of moving out of Florida (or back north) until I had no more connections to it (if you can read between the lines there). I actually love Florida. I love the theme parks, the nature trails, the crystal clear springs, the wildlife, Orlando, st Augustine, the beautiful countryside, etc. Florida feels like home, a feeling I hadn’t had since like 2007. And we’re probably leaving it. We have to. It’s not safe here.

[alyjojo]

April 🌻 2023 Monthly - Cancer

Whole of your energy: 4 Wands

I’m having to “think like Cancer” with this one, because you’re sweet, and have a tendency to get involved with other people’s problems in the name of being sweet. Or a good friend. So for some of you, these are your own issues and you’re leaning on a friend for help/advice. For others, it’s someone else’s actual issue and you’re the friend they’re talking to about it. Such is Cancer life. I’ll just read it as you and if you’re the friend, you know what’s up. Someone is dealing with a toxic person or partnership, there is a breakup involved. And it may not be toxic per say, you or a friend could just feel stuck/trapped to an argument type of situation. Lovers may be involved, or suspected, it’s a whole situation of hurt and heartbreak here. If it’s you, hugs to you 💚 Someone may be staying with you at your house for a bit in order to clear their head, or it involves money, maybe they’re saving up. Or you are. A small side story here is being trapped to a property or home you maybe can’t afford, they could be raising the rent on you or you’re being hit with expenses you can’t afford, possibly due to toxic or overly expensive patterns/addictions of some person you’re with. Even if it’s just a friend, a roommate, casual. Your oracle cards show doubles, not triples, you don’t have a third 6 here and that means something while dealing with this Devil. It’s not the worst of things. There are also two 3’s and no third, which means there is no 3rd party conflict here. 555 is here showing conflict, being conflicted, or feeling competition with something, between you two. 999 shows independence and having to separate yourself from the double to focus on the self, what do you want? Or that’s the problem. You’ve also got 11:11 here with 4 Wands, and Overwhelm (11) & 9 Cups (manifesting your dreams) supports you being able to create the outcome you desire, once you get your head on straight. Truth being 12 show this is what’s needed to do that. Numbers seems to be your game this month, whew 😰 Comment if you’re a numbers person, because I’m normally not & my head is spinning with all of this! You can’t manifest what you want until you know what you want.

What’s going on in April:

5 Cups:

There is deep sadness here, regarding a message of being told you’re on your own, a relationship has broken up, a building is evicting you or becoming too expensive (for that story). If you’re the one that’s said or done this, you now regret it. The Tower shows this may have been a knee jerk reaction or something that’s happened suddenly and wasn’t expected, and 5 Cups is mourning, sadness, an energy of focusing so much on what’s lost that one doesn’t pay attention to what’s still standing, probably a good friendship with Lucy here. The Lovers following show what this 5 is upset about, for most of you.

The Lovers:

The Emperor is at grass roots, a married man. Doesn’t have to be a man literally, but masculine in energy, someone who follows strict guidelines and principles and expects others to follow their lead, it’s a boss, a father, and husband. You could be married to this person, maybe have kids with them. You’re upset about other options they may have, and this could be at work, that’s shown in the next row, or these could be friends. They may be hanging out with people after work. 3 Cups can be “partying” with friends, and The Devil up top can be lusty, deceptive, or relating to alcohol & addictions, it definitely goes deeper than suspicions, but I don’t see 3 Swords as an action. With The Devil, it’s clear some action has been taken, maybe messages, flirtations, your boundaries have definitely been crossed in some way and you’re feeling disrespected. It’s possible you went through a break-up, and your person ran off with some other person that could be a friend of yours. In the case of a home and a lack of finances, your person may be very indulgent and a big part of the problem *why* finances are slim. Their Devil energy would be the third energy, you can’t control it but it’s driving a wedge between you.

5 Wands:

Conflict, competition more like, there are several people in this mix, 7 Cups shows many options, but no one particular person that I’m seeing stand out. The Devil is with King of Pentacles, so it’s them that’s the issue, not all of these options. They wouldn’t be there if the door wasn’t open right? You’re placing blame appropriately. 5 Pentacles is feeling left out in the cold, you’re very open about your emotions even if it’s in a conflict sort of way. They were supposed to be a team with you and instead are playing the field or playing with the ideas of other options, work may be involved in some way, if you can’t get ahead and feel trapped to a dead end job. If a home, you thought the landlord or whoever was working with you and you had a good thing going, now you’re feeling a major lack materially, could have debts, something you were depending on has fallen through and it’s upsetting you deeply.

7 Cups:

In either story, these are your options. Maybe your person’s. Stupid risks and behaviors clarifies these options, and also that no action has been taken. Your person may be jumping all over your boundaries but hasn’t actually crossed them? Or *them* as they were before you moved the goal posts 😆 There is a feeling of restructuring boundaries for sure, at least on your end. If there are options to move or what to do with a property, you’re afraid of taking any actions and haven’t moved forward yet, the news is all still sinking in and you’re not acting impulsively with this. Ace of Cups is a new beginning. Could be with this person, or a new area, something is new, but you’re not going to just rush into committing yourself that later turns out to be The Devil…and by then you’re trapped.

9 Cups:

This is where your manifestations come in. You have to know what you want to create that for yourself, and you need clear answers from this person, property owner, businessperson etc., before you can do that. What you know you want is the end to stress, being stuck in your head worrying about everything, not knowing where you’ll be tomorrow or what this person is doing at work or with friends or or or 🦭 etc. King of Pentacles IS stability, that’s what he’s the King of, so if he’s also trapped in Devil energy it’s a trickle down effect of wtf that affects you too. This could also be a job, I don’t really get that, but when it’s Pentacles it can always be work. The literal building you work at? Trying to work at home? This last row says you just want to be happy, maybe an apology from this person who decides to knock it off and make a decision. Could be you apologizing if this whole thing is switched. It’s possible you’re making up, but if so it’s still not 10 Cups, you’re at a 9 and offering a Page, that’s pretty telling that you’re still thinking and deciding independently, offering flirtations and sweet offers but not UNION, and making this person prove themselves. If a property or business, you could be trying to be the bigger person and offer something to make them change their mind or work with you. You could also find an option that makes you happier than you were with what ended, it takes a lot of stress off of you, but there’s no clear cut answer in April, just an offer, or one you’re contemplating on making. Page of Cups is good news 🙏

Signs you may be dealing with:

All earth, all water, Aries & Gemini

Oracles: ✨

66. New Start

- Sometimes we must realize that what we have done needs to be discarded and we must make a new start.

11. Overwhelm

The hard work we love can leave us feeling burdened, drained, and burnt out, among other problems.

12 Truth 🦅

The eagle proudly surveys its domain from such a high perch that all pertaining to this situation are revealed. The shadows hide nothing from your keen vision. Once you can remove yourself from the muck that lower vibrations keep you in, you can attain a viewpoint that enables you to see the truth of the matter. This card advises you to search for the truth of the situation, regardless of the emotions it brings up. Are you or someone connected to you unconsciously suppressing the truth? Hiding from the truth can only intensify the lesson later on.

We enter into April as:

Lucy From Indigo 💟:

“I’m so glad you’re in my life.”

If this card has come to you, then you’ve been graced with a connection and you are most fortunate. One of the most valuable assets in our lives is friendship. This is a reminder to be grateful for the people in your life, this itself raises our vibration to a higher level. If you are unhappy in any relationships, Lucy is a reminder that it is always in our power to change it. Whatever lack you are feeling in your life, if you give that to others, you will receive the very thing you feel deprived of. The time is now to become what we want to become. If you are withholding from anyone it is you who will suffer the consequences. Be the example and live this day with gratitude. Kindness is contagious. In order to be who we want to be, we must simply be that person, there is no mystery to being a good person. Good people do good things.

What is to be learned in April:

The Emerald Stone 🧩

“The heart knows what the eyes cannot see.”

There are times when things happen to us and no explanation is possible. Often our journey brings us full circle, leaving many of us to wonder why. The Emerald Stone is inviting you to follow through in whatever is before you. Going back is not an option. Forward movement will change your entire perspective on life - for the better. You may now be able to hear something that you have been told many times. Your reward will be a closer relationship with yourself. If Emerald Stone sparkles for you, it is with the understanding that you are now developing a new perception of things. The Stone welcomes you out of the dark and into your heart.

Green may be a lucky color 💚

[nickywhoisi]

Oh snap it’s Nick’s post!

So this has been a long time coming, and I know I should have done this EONS ago, but I decided that this blog needs a header post about me for everyone seeing me for the first time. I think the intro I had up there is actually rather...bad, not so helpful, a little sketch, and maybe even a little worrying to someone uninitiated. So I ought to fix that.

-My name is Nicholas, and I prefer to go by Nick, but Nicky has also happened and I don’t mind it too much, being in my username and all.

-I am nonbinary, they/them pronouns, and only that. I have a pretty sore spot about this, being misgendered irl all the time... and so I am pretty strict about getting pronouns right and picking one exclusively for myself. I just really want to distance myself from being forced into femininity that I can’t even begin to tell you I don’t have. I don’t know what’s wrong with people out there! I don’t understnd why they can’t stop looking at the exterior skin and know that there’s a real identity here.

-I am just about to be 30! Wowee! And I am smashed up so much from traumatic life experiences, I don’t feel a day over 2! How am I not dead?! Hooray eternal youth! ...Well, yeah, y’got me. I can’t even pretend that this is okay. I really am sometimes oscillating between frames of mind that do not reflect my age, if there is even a guideline for that. The truth is, I have never had healthy human relationships or “object constancy/permanence” to know what a stable person acting precisely like the age range they are is supposed to be like, and it’s been nearly 30 years. I don’t think I’ll ever get to know how to solve this problem. So what’s left? Just that I am a personchild who suffers way too many emotional and psychological traumas, and needs to be treated so meticulously careful, but has a real big heart and got a lot of sagely fandom wisdom and life experiences to share, to anyone who would care to listen. That’s why I’m so strangely knowledgeable, yet immature and unsure about things all at once. I can only hope that’s fine or that you at least understand what’s up with me, because I can’t change this...and believe me, I’ve been trying. Frankly, it’s the concept of change that got me into all this mess, SO DO NOT EVER BRING UP THE TOPIC OF CHANGE TO ME PLEASE AND THANK YOU. 8) My blog is part of the Eternal Domain of Inazuma, get it?

-I am a multifandom blog! I had no idea that I had to specify this until perusing other blogs! I just thought it became clear by post variety. See how weird and old fashioned I’ve become? I didn’t think it would happen to me, but here we are, and it will happen to you too! get ready for that one kiddums. In any case, here are all of the fandoms and series in general that I’m into, though I have already posted a lot of trains. Did I mention I’m on the autism spectrum+adhd? Maybe even a bit bpd/schizo? Yes, very fun.

-Sometimes I am ultra fun, in a good mood and approachable, but sometimes I go entirely in reverse, depending on my general mood or if something outside of tumblr has occurred. I am sorry. This will likely be hard to follow, and the last thing I want is to make enemies out of friends over any amount of misunderstandings, but following a healthy routine, knowing what I’m comfortable with at all times, and trusting other people understand and know the same thing, and then above all getting to experience behaviour that feels right, is very important to me. I will do my very best to announce my state of being ahead of time so y’all will know, and hopefully the transitions will be smooth. In a less-than-this situation, I can’t really know what to do beyond freaking out and maybe bailing, so...the bottom point may give you better help to know how to handle me. I’m so sorry...

-I am severely damaged goods, and become a neurotic mess when attempting social interaction of all kinds, even here, because I have suffered a giant terrible history of unhealthy relationships, and while I know who I am and where I stand on things, life insists on only bringing dangerous, unhealthy, unprocessably unstable types my way to make my ability to reach my goal that much harder. It’s almost getting too unbearable for words, and I have been thinking of quitting people altogether. But if I did that. I know I would never reach the life goal I’ve always wanted; of having a stable group of friends who stick with me lifelong. That’s all I want, what everyone else I look at from afar seems to have. Yet life insists that hatred stubs my toes over and over again, and each repetitive pattern of trying so hard, getting so close, only to reach a disquieting change and leaves me rejected and failing is too much to go through. I can’t tell who even wants me anymore, and this has eaten away at me for my entire life. I can no longer tell if there’s anyone in the world at all who cares that I exist and wants me to be alive and happy, wants to be my friend for real and then continue to be so, or if people hate me for knowing myself so well and demanding that I get my fair treatment that I was promised my entire life. I have had enough of being the tossed-away outsider of my own life, and I aim to collect. I don’t want to put in the effort anymore just for someone else to make me fail at having this very thing that I, as a human, was supposed to have eons ago to be healthy. I don’t want to keep trying to open up just to be made to feel like I should regret doing so...it’s sick, cruel unusual punishment that I have never deserved to go through. And if I’m bothering to stay alive instead of (still wondering if I should really) ending it all, I expect to not be made to go alone. I am sick to death of being forced, bottlenecked into failure that is not even mine to experience when I know, after wasting my entire youth learning about it, I did all the right things that are considered normal and rational, never once diverging from my path. (what I mean is, I could maybe count on my fingers the few times I was truly responsible for a failure in my life, but the longer list actually comes from other people just...being a roadblock on my path? Being the one to come up with some insane, arbitrary excuse to just put a stop to my trajectory? To abruptly end the progress I go to war everyday just to begin?! do you see why I am concaved under so many mental issues that I am eternally complaining? really hope somebody’s paying attention instead of just reading...!) I do not like being alone, and I’ve been crying everyday since I’ve been effectively thrown out from my own comfortable life and forced into...this super-nightmare isolation. I’m an extrovert with introvert needs. Can you believe I’m actually an extrovert first, even when all of my other traits point otherwise? So all of that is where I need your assistance. I am horrifically broken to the point where I’ve been conditioned that “help” is actually an opening for someone else to “harm” instead. This is actually what I’ve experienced more of than anything that is normally expected. It is insane. I need you to retrain me on what it means to healthily interact, to know if and who actually cares about me beyond myself, to relearn everything on how people are supposed to behave and carry themselves around one another. Because I am still, after all this time, needing to learn that from someone trustworthy. I am trying to reply on you to be my “teacher” in this way, but as fair warning, I am already expecting the worst; I expect failure, dismay, peril, trauma, the works. I beg you, find a way to prove all of this wrong.

-I have a vast variety of interests, way too many words to describe it all, far too little time to do so, and an unbelievable amount of raw passion driving my interests...into a canyon. *pixel explosion effect* You’ll have to wait with bated breath to see just what topics I like the most, what things I have to say the most about, and even the things I don’t like/have interest in I have a lot to say on. I’m basically an infodump truck. Get ready for that lol

Will continually update this post to add other tidbits to know about me, as it is getting a bit tiring to type out already, and I need to make a fandom post list too. So all in all, I ask for careful trepidation so things aren’t unpleasant, and I have a dangerous amount of issues that I am working hard to solve, but inbetween that, I want to come off as a very positive, dedicated, reliable, and more trusting individual for for you to hang out with, share in the entertainment, and have a great time with. I don’t want to be just another one of the unstables, I want to regain my past stability in fact. And above all, I simply HAVE to do my part to make the world a happy safe place like I’ve always wanted. I’ve spent too long ruminating on everything, especially how much it doesn’t seem like the world is at all happy or safe. But I keep seeing hints and glimmers of proof that it could be, and we only need to exemplify that ourselves. Put in the work and do, not wish. We need to become what we want. I want to be the proof that good and justice wins over all evil in reality. Looks like I always take one the way-too-hard challenges...but I didn’t say it was impossible. And that hero’s optimism isn’t just shallow hope to be broken later, either. It’s not fake pleasantry. If there really are evil villains in our reality, right now, in this absolutely insane time period, doing all sorts of evil things that we only learned about through our favourite series, then that can only mean...

[ipromiseimtrying]

How Long Should A Chapter Be?

If you scroll through my blog long enough, you'll find that I've rebloged and/or have said something about how long a chapter should be. Though I don't entirely disagree with what I've posted before, I think I need to make something clear.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional. I don't have any traditionally published works (one day I will, hopefully), and I don't have the experience of a pro. I am just an eager learner online sharing what I know and have recently learned. Corrections, suggestions, and constructive criticism are welcome.

Your word count per chapter isn't that important.

Sure, most publishing houses in the industry have preferences on how many words you can fit in a book, but you don't need to be strict on yourself with the numbers.

I have read books with chapters as long as 20+ pages and as short as 2 pages. In the same book, okay?

Your chapters don't need to have a specific word count as long as you're telling the story.

You can have one chapter with 3000 words, but so much stuff happens that you might as well cut it up into smaller parts that are easier to digest. You can also have a chapter with more than 3000 words, more than 5000 even, and it still feels like 1 solid part.

But don't think how much you say doesn't matter. It does. But how much you say and how much happens are equally important.

You can say a lot about a small event. You can describe sensations, the way someone blinked then turned away, the way you caught your friend staring at you, the way your teacher stuttered and almost failed to save face, etc. Even if they're short-lived and can only realistically happen in a second, as a writer, you can prolong that second by saying more. When you say more, the reader reads more. Thus, making the experience slower.

The opposite can be done with less description. If you want something to feel faster, explain less. Instead of writing a paragraph about a single action, limit your descriptors. That way, you'll fit more actions in fewer words and in less time.

But slow doesn't mean bad. Neither does fast.

It all depends on the scene.

What you say and how much you say should depend on how you want the reader to feel...how you want them to experience it. If it's a fight scene with a lot of actions, and you want your reader to feel how quick your antagonist's moves are, talk less. Show more.

But if you want time to slow down for them, make use of the character's voice. Give them an opinion to share. Make your readers experience the frozen moment with your character. Describe the feeling of what is happening rather than just the initial event.

But if you're as stubborn as I am, and you still want a specific number, google the average word count of a chapter within the genre you're writing (also include the ideal length of the overall work: novella, novel, etc.).

According to wordcounter.net, the general guideline is 3000 to 5000 words per chapter. But really, it's just a guideline.

"...chapter length should be defined by the story and that any chapter length targets you decide on are merely guidelines."

What I learned online is that even chapters, the bricks you use to build the story, could have structure. In my opinion, if you can take the extra time to thoroughly build the structure of your chapters, please do. It'll make it better in the long run.

But if you're (still) as stubborn as I am, just make sure it has a BEGINNING, MIDDLE, & END.

You can start a chapter exactly in the middle of an action. That's fine. For as long as that action/event is something that leads to the main focus of the chapter. By all means, skip the idle scenes that give no meaning and serve no use to the story. But you don't want your reader missing out on crucial details.

The chapter has to begin somewhere, lead to an important question/task/mission/whatever in the middle, and a solution (at least a half solution) - plus another question to keep your readers reading - in the end.

Remember, your word count doesn't tell you whether you have a good story or not. It just says how long the story actually is. Just as a 15-minute Taylor Swift short film can make you cry and a 2-hour action movie can feel like it's only been 10 minutes, stories consisting of 1k to 100k words rely on meaning, emotion, passion, and purpose to have value.

Thanks so much for reading! I hope this helped you at least a little. I'm open to suggestions, tips, submissions, corrections, and constructive criticism. Just send me an ask, submit or hit the DMs <3

[hillbillyoracle]

my bounderies will never be flexible, I won't let a partner, abuse, rape, ect. to me for their own needs.

Bounderies shouldn't have to be flexible. it's good to have strict unmovable bounderies. I rather not be raped than "Think of other's needs".

Just let people have strict bounderies....wtf

Let me ask you something anon - do I have literally any control over you?

Cause where I'm sitting, as a person expressing their concerns about a community wide pattern of people harming folks under the guise of mental health and the moral good on the internet, I can't see how it forces you to change anything about what you're doing.

I cannot "let" anyone do something I have no control over to begin with. What you're really saying is "I don't like what you're saying so shut up."

Which proves my point that this black and white thinking about boundaries serves to police other people rather than actually making people safer and can actually wind up harming more people.

How in the world do you jump from what is essentially "let people have their feelings" to "so I guess I'm just supposed to let myself get raped then"?

The amount of times I've seen people invoking rape specifically is wild. Do you all not have boundaries around how your friends speak with you? Or customer service folks? Or doctors? This idea that boundaries are best exemplified by people crossing them in the most heinous ways is fundamentally damaging - both to you and to the community. Boundaries are not for use solely in dangerous situations or with dangerous people.

Arguing for contextualization means hold certain kinds of boundaries with truly dangerous people and hold different kinds of boundaries with people you don't know and different kinds with people you know to have ultimately beneficial intentions. That's it. If you don't want to do that - that is fine, but it will make relationships difficult and on a community wide level it becomes truly toxic.

And I genuinely get, first hand, how difficult it can be after an assault, to assess which people are and aren't truly dangerous. But there are people who are paid to help you do that and I am not one of them.

Take your frustration to a more appropriate source. What is there to gain out of dumping this stuff in my inbox anyways - a momentary feeling of power? You're worth more than that. You're worth understanding the whole world does not rise to the level of the shittiest people in it. But please, take it somewhere else.

ETA: Because I know there are probably folks out there reading through some of this and feeling confused about whether their boundaries are healthy or not - here is a resource I really recommend to help. 

Taken directly from the page: 

Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits. Boundaries are not rules for someone else to follow.

and

Boundaries are not an attempt to make someone do something. They are not about getting the other person to understand and comply. Boundaries are about us getting clear inside of ourselves as to what is appropriate and necessary for our mental health, and then taking action accordingly.

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

Show me yours and I’ll show you mine

Mob! Leo x fem reader

Summery: You’re a sex worker working at the infamous Red Room (R&R) brothel in New York city when you run into Leo who’s there not on business. He, somehow, takes a liking to you and your adventure ensues.

Warnings: NSFW, sex work mentions, fist fight/violence, alcohol mentions, violence mentions.

((A/N: This doesn’t have much of a plot, just a fun idea I had and I haven’t written a mob fic in so long so here ya’ go!!))

It wasn’t a slow day at Red Room, Clients had been in and out all day and it was nearing 7pm. The smell of perfume and cologne hung heavy in the air and the place was starting to get messy. During the day the brothel is mainly used for men to drink and be kept company but when the night hits, it comes alive.

Women roaming around in lingerie of every kind, singers and dancers to entertain those who are just here to escape their wives or boys trying to become men chasing down pretty women who only show interest after they flash their cash. Security is pretty tight, too. Can’t have minors getting in, as much as they try, or anyone throwing off the atmosphere with drunken brawling.

It’s a beautiful September night, the air is still warm the remnants of summer and sun beans are streaming in through the ornate glass windows. Classic, beautiful furniture covers the main room where men get to know their chosen girl before she takes them back to her room and the bar is crowded with the usuals who are just here to watch and have a good time.

You walk through the vast room, smiling and making chit chat with as many of the men as you can before picking up your drink and retiring to one of the chairs. For a busy day it was still slow for you. You adjust your thigh highs as you sit and take off your heels. A small rest wouldn’t kill you. There were all sorts in tonight including, or so you’d heard, one of the mob boys. You hadn’t laid eyes on him yet but there was a certain tension surrounding the place that only the turtle boys could create so even if you hadn’t seen him, you could feel him. They weren’t strangers to R&R, sometimes they’d bring business associates here to butter them up, buy them a girl for the night and talk business where she kissed their neck or they’d come for their own pleasure. 

You take another look around the room, most of the men were focused on Starla who was singing a blues version of “how to be a heart breaker”, her voice slightly deeper than usual and full of sensual promise and her bright red, lacy bra and panties are particularly stunning. Praying that no one will approach you for at least another 10 minutes you take a sip of your whiskey and sit back to enjoy the show- when you hear it.

From a more distant corner of the room there are raised voices and harsh words being thrown about, something that is not accepted in the Red Room. Putting down your drink, you pick up your heels in your other hand and go over to see what all the fuss is about.

“I want what I fucking paid for!” comes a voice from a heavily intoxicated man who is standing on the last step to the stairs. Cherry stand in front of him, clearly distressed and looking slightly dishevelled. You can only assume that something went wrong in the bedroom and she had to run. Bastard you thought to yourself.

“Not if you won’t wear a condom! There are fucking rules!” she bites back. She was right, R&R had very strict guidelines to keep their girls and patrons safe and condoms must be worn for any and all sexual activity as well as regular STD checks.

That’s when he finally loses his cool completely, grabbing Cherry by the hair and trying to pull her back up the stairs. You don’t know exactly what came over you but before you know what you’re doing you drop your heels and rush over, prising his hand from her hair and socking him in the jaw. His head flies back from the impact and hits the wall, ricocheting off it before he falls down cold on the stairs which is met by a round of applause from the crowd that has gathered around you both. You turn to a now crying Cherry.

“you ok? What did he do? You alright?” you ask in quick succession. 

“I-I’m-” she sobs and holds on to you, you wrap your arms around her bare waist and move her slightly to the side as the ever late security deals with the unconscious guy. You decide it’s better to get her away and instead take her outside where some of the other girls have crowded round and offer her drinks and cigarettes as well as their sympathies. They stroke her hair and comfort her so you venture back inside, leaving her in their very capable hands. 

Once back in the main room, the madame for the night walks briskly over to you with a hard expression on her face.

“And just what was that?” She half whispers

“I know right, that jerk was trying to make her go bare back even though we’re super specific that we don’t do that here” you reply

“Not that!” She snaps “That little brawl you had with him. What do you think you were doing?”

“...Defending my colleague?” you’re confused, this isn’t the first time one of the girls here has had to step up for another, it probably won’t be the last either. 

“We have to crack down on you- you girls getting into fights! It’s dangerous and irresponsible and I think you should go home for the rest of-”

You both stop when you sense a presence to your right. Looking over you come face to face with a towering figure: Leonardo.

The madame clears her throat and smiles

“Ah, Mr Leonardo! How- how may we help you?” she beams at him. You’re not sure if it’s out of respect or fear, probably a mixture of both.

“How much for this one?” He says point blank.

“Excuse me?” The madame’s jaw almost hits the floor

“How much for this one for a few hours?”

You smile and give him big doe eyes as he talks price with her and she still attempts to send you home. Eventually it’s settled and allows you to take him back to your room.

He’s silent on the walk up there even as you chat idly about how handsome he is as you usually do with clients and making sure to sway your hips extra heavily to give him a good view as you walk up ahead of him.

Once tucked inside your room, you kneel on the bed and face him.

“So, how do you want me, big guy?” you say in a low, seductive voice.

He sits in a chair by the door in the corner and lights up a cigarette which isn’t technically allowed but acceptations are always made to accommodate the mob boys so you let it slide. 

“You can cut that shit out now” he says bluntly.

“what shit?” you’re confused again

“The ‘big guy’ and ‘you’re so handsome’ practically drooling over me shit. It’s overdone and, honestly, you’re not very convincing.”

“I’ll have you know that my acting skills are top notch but if you want realness lets go. How do you wanna fuck me and how long do I have to put up with you for?”

He smiles at that

“Atta’ girl”

You both sit in silence for a few minutes as he looks over you, drinking in your form. His eyes always linger on your hips and the garter belt around your waist so you can safely assume these are your best features in his opinion. 

“What possessed you to take on that drunk guy?” he breaks the silence

“My friend was in trouble, besides, I’ve got a solid right hook and wanted an excuse to use it” you reply. He smiles again. Not to be cocky, but I think I’m winning him over you think to yourself.

He’s rented out your room for two hours and all he seems to want to do is talk. He doesn’t even get up from his chair apart from once and only then it was to look out the window as he asked you about how you ended up here. You assumed it was some kind of saviour complex, the whole “how did a nice girl like you end up in a dump like this” routine but the truth is you like the Red Room. You love the attention and praise it gets you, your family knows what you do for a living and are proud of you and you’ve made some good friends here. 

“...Besides” you continue “it’s the only place around here where it’s not impossible to make 5 grand in a night if you try hard enough. Most other places can’t say the same.”

He was decent conversation although he was reluctant to tell you anything about himself, but he listened and appeared genuinely interested in what you had to say. You even made him laugh a few times. You didn’t know the turtle boys even had a sense of humour. 

Your 2 hours with him were coming to an end and, after pouring him a final drink, you said your goodbyes, It wasn’t completely unusual for a client to simply want to talk for their time with you, but from what you’d heard the turtle boys have an insatiable appetite for women so it doesn’t quite sit right with you that he didn’t want your body. Oh well.

_________________

The next morning was your day off. You woke up before your alarm and took a few minutes to hug your pillow closer to you and breathe in the fresh morning air from the window by your head. Your apartment was modest but not dingy in the slightest, the Red Room paid well and your home reflected that to some extent although you never wanted to be flashy about it. Last night was still on your mind, the way Leo (as he had asked you to call him) looked at you was still burned into your memory. His scent and the way he raised each drink to his lips. Everything he did commanded authority and was done with such grace and composure. Your thoughts were rudely interrupted by your alarm, only, it wasn’t your alarm. 

Confused, you look at your phone and see the madame is calling. What does this old bitch want? you think before answering the call.

“Hello?” you talk into the phone, trying to hide your distaste at being bothered on one of your precious days off.

“Hi, y/n, I really hate to do this but I need to get straight to the point. You have an outcall today.” the voice replies

“Oh, I’m sorry, you must be mistaken, This is my day off and I don’t do outcalls anymore. That’s been cleared with you guys for months.” the annoyance was beginning to shine through your voice. 

“Yes, I’m aware, but special allowances have to be made when certain clientele....Desire your company...”

“Who the fuck do you think is special enough to get me out of bed right now?” you hiss into the phone

“Leonardo...”

You didn’t hear the rest of her sentence as you take a second to let that sink in. Half of you was pissed as hell that these rich boys get whatever they want and whoever they want just because they practically run the town through fear, but another small part of you was...Flattered. 

“What time and where?” you ask

The madame gives you all the information and you hurry out of bed to get showered and ready. You only had an hour and a half to make yourself look presentable and actually get half way across town to his mansion. 

Five minutes before you need to be out of the door, you take a second to admire yourself in the mirror. You had done a good job with your cat eye makeup and you were pretty sure your have him eating out of your hand with the little baby pink slip dress you were wearing. Underneath was another garter belt, thigh highs and a small heel. You could have gone bigger considering you were only average height and Leo must have been about 6′7 at least but you decided a small heel worked better with the aesthetic you were cultivating. 

____________________

The uber pulled up the the enormous house that towered in front of you, driving carefully between the ornate and ancient statues that seemed the guard the entrance to the driveway. Opening the door and stepping out, the almost overwhelming aroma of roses filled your nose from the thickets by the front door. Everything was beautiful and clearly meticulously designed and placed. You felt your heart drop. What the fuck do I have to offer this guy who has everything? You swallow the lump in your throat and go to ring the door bell. 

A small, round man dressed in a white shirt and black waistcoat answers the door and smiles at you as if you ask why you’re here. Running a hand through your hair in an attempt to compose yourself (you’re a professional after all) you use your most confident voice to say:

“I’m y/n, and I’m here for Leonardo. He should be expecting me”

Realisation washes over the man’s face as he asks you to “please come in” and you take a seat in the foyer. You take a second to look around. The entrance hall is magnificent, a huge chandelier hangs above you with crystals or even diamonds (you weren’t sure but they were rich enough to afford such luxuries) casting glorious rainbows around the room as the light from the windows shines through it. The furniture had to be custom made, you’d never seen anything like it before and in the centre of the foyer is a round table with the most beautiful vase you’d ever seen and a carefully constructed bouquet of flowers sitting in it. You’d started to realise that maybe you were in too deep, but there was no getting out now.

It’s not long before you here footsteps coming down the stairs behind you. Leo and his older, and somehow taller, brother were walking down and seemed to be deep in conversation. They were still a little too far away to hear and they spoke in hushed voices but you could make out the purple suited one say

“She’s not talking” in a feverish voice to which Leo replied

“That’s not my problem right now, deal with her before I deal with you!”

it sounded serious.

Once at the bottom of the staircase and spotting you, he posture relaxes a little and he puts on that charming smile which reminds you that you need to do the same. That’s what he’s paying for, but he has such beautiful deep blue eyes that it;s difficult to not get distracted by them. He wore a black suit with very thing white lines going down it and a baby blue handkerchief in the breast pocket, his signature colour. He looked to die for.

He approaches and greets you with a warm hug and kiss on the cheek while telling you how beautiful you look. What a silver tongue he has. 

He takes you on a tour of the house and garden, it’s clear that he’s only doing this as a formality, to get you comfortable around him and it isn’t to brag. He almost seems indifferent about his extreme wealth. There were a few rooms with heavy locks on the doors and he didn’t show you into those or one entire wing of the house; telling you that was under construction. You saw Donatello go through to that area, though but, you didn’t want to rock the boat by asking questions.

Eventually he took you out to the patio, it was stunning. More roses and other potted flower stood all around and the table was set with silver cutlery and beautiful wine glasses. He pulled a chair out for you to sit, like a true gentleman.

As waiters came and went, bringing you both lavish meals and more wine, you talked for hours. Well...You talked. He mainly listened and asked questions. You couldn’t help but feel entirely comfortable around him, something about his presence was so non-judgemental and sincere that you felt you could answer everything honestly and not put up a front like you usually would on other “dates”. The only trouble around when you spoke next.

“So I’m been rattling on for ages. Tell me about you. What do you like to do in your spare time? Do you like living with your brothers? Where did you grow up?”

That last question seemed to hit a nerve as he looked as if he winced slightly  at it. He didn’t answer.

You put your hand on his

“Did you hear me?”

He pulled his hand away and looked you in the eyes

“I didn’t pay you to interrogate me. You’re here to sit and look pretty, not open your fucking mouth”

You were stunned. This sudden turn seemed to come from nowhere and that’s when you felt the anger rise up in you. You’d never been one to hold your tongue and you weren’t going to start now- consequences be damned.

“Well excuse the fuck me!” you began “Why is it that every guy feels so entitled to my life but so unwilling to tell me anything about their own? Oh yeah! Maybe it’s because they’re so boring an insignificant in this world that they have to pay a woman to come talk to their sorry ass because no one would do it for free. I thought you were different but it’s all for show, isn’t it? The house, the cars, the money... Nothing behind that, just another pitiful, sad little man who has to pay for a quick fuck. I’m outta here”

You throw your napkin down on the plate and walk away. You almost make it to the front door when a hand grips your wrist, turning you to face them.

Leo looks sorry for himself. It’s clear he knows the magnitude to which he’s messed up but he doesn’t say anything right away.

“Well?” you say impatiently? “Look, you wanted me here. I just go where the money takes me but for a second I thought there might actually be some kind of connection. You want a real date, then you have to tell me about yourself at least a little. That’s what real people do. But if you’re just going to be a giant douche with no respect, I’m leaving.”

“It’s not a happy story” he finally says through gritted teeth, hand still firmly around your wrist. “But if you want to hear about it, follow me”

He takes you upstairs a through a few more hallways until you reach what must be his room. It’s just as beautifully designed as the rest of the house but with a few more personal touches. As opposed to the slightly Italian looking architecture and design of the rest of the house, his room has katanas hung up on the wall and a small nook in the corner of the room where a tea maker sits. It’s more homely than the rest of the place. More his own.

He sits you down on the bed and slowly begins to explain.

He doesn’t go into too much detail, you imagine that would be too painful for him.He tells you how he was found in a sewer with his brothers and then made to wear chains and perform for sick crowds of smiling a grimacing humans and how he hated them. He mentioned the beatings and the torture, the hunger he felt everyday. He spoke on the anger his father harboured and how they would dream of a revenge so bloody and raw that he hoped god would look away while they did it. He told you about their escape and how it was the first time he’d know the touch of a human that hadn’t left a scar. It was all horrific and you couldn’t believe he survived that.

“...We still don’t know what Mikey saw that night but whatever it was, he didn’t talk for three weeks and now he’s...Well, now he’s the new Mikey. I don’t talk about it because who would want to know? And I don’t want pity, I don’t want your sympathy just because ‘boo hoo, he had a tough childhood’ ”

You place your hand on his cheek and turn his face towards you, he didn’t look at you the entire time he spoke.

“I don’t pity you” You began “I admire you. Going through all that and still being a functional person? That takes a strength I couldn’t muster”

You lean in to kiss him on the cheek, he turns his head and kisses you on the lips slowly, as if to savour every second of it. You hands go to his face and he lightly grips the back of your neck as the kiss intensifies. You lie back and he takes his place on top of you, between your legs and he trails one hand up your thigh to your hip, going just underneath your now bunched up dress.

He begins to kiss down your jaw line and towards your neck and your breath hitches in your throat at the pressure of his lips on your skin. His attention turns to your cleavage, he looks up at you as if you ask for permission and you nod before his head delves between your breasts, kissing and lapping at your tender flesh. You roll your head back and begin to pant slightly. The way he’s so attentive and gentle yet composed and in control is a nice contrast that few men can do successfully. 

Cupping one of your breasts as he kisses it, you put your hand under his chin to return his mouth to yours and your tongues swirl together in ecstasy as you moan into his mouth.You can feel him hardening through his tailored trousers. Pulling back, you begin to unbutton his shirt as he takes off his blazer before reaching down between the two of you and cupping his bulge through his clothes. He almost growls at that and takes the top of your dress in his hands, ripping it down the middle. You look up at him wide eyed and he simply smiles and whispers

“I’ll buy you ten new ones”

You can’t see too well in the room as the sun is beginning to set but you can still make out how toned and muscular his chest is even in the half light. You run your fingers over his abs as he pushes up your dress and pulls down your underwear. Leo begins to kiss down your inner thighs, nipping gently as he gets closer to your sex

“No” you say suddenly. He stops immediately and looks at you “I want you. I just wanna feel you”

Pushing himself up onto his knees, still between your open legs, he undoes his belt, unzips him pants and pulls them down. His hard, thick cock bouncing free from its previous restraints. He takes a quick second to reach into his bedside draw and pull out a condom that he puts on with ease. He leans down and puts one hand firmly on the bed next to your head and with the other lines himself up at your already soaked entrance. You ready yourself for whats about to come, he’s bigger than your usual clients. He slowly pushes himself inside you and you gasp at the pleasurable agony of how torturous it is. Eventually he bottoms out and kisses you on the lips before looking into your eyes.

“are you ready?” He asks, you nod in return

His hips start at a slow but hard pace, obviously warming you up for whats to come. He nibbles at your ear and his hand becomes entangled in your hair, pulling it lightly as if to test the waters of how you feel about that. The more you moan the faster and harder he goes while whispering how much of a good girl you are in your ear and telling you how you take him so well.

All you can do is breathlessly moan and beg him not to stop, he looks into your eyes with a devilish mischief and says

“Stop? We’re only just starting”

He pulls out and flips you onto your front, pulling your hips up to meet his and enters you again from behind. He grabs one of your arms and pulls it behind your back, gripping it there to stay and place and with the other he gathers up the lengths of your hair and pulls so that you’re facing forwards. His pace is punishing and your eyes begin to tear up from just how mind blowing he is. Occasionally he would let go of your arm to give you a quick, sharp slap on the ass or to caress your hips a little but eventually he would always grip your wrist again, keeping it in place.

His pace begins to slow and he looks down at himself sliding in and out of you.

“Baby, you’re being so good. Look how well you’re taking me. Such an angel” he coos 

“I- I can’t take much more” you whisper but he hears and chuckles to himself. Letting go of your arm his hand slides between your thighs and begins to play with your clit, each circle he rubs is in time with his thrusts and it’s driving you crazy.

“Leo, Leo! I-” you can’t take anymore as a full body orgasm rolls through you and you almost collapse if it weren’t for his arms holding you up. One more smack on your ass and a few more thrusts and you can tell he’s almost at his own release.

“Fuck baby” He purrs and he explodes inside of you before leaning down the kiss the centre of your back. He gentle places you down on the bed so that you don’t just falls that way and quickly goes to dispose of the condom.

You get under the sheets of the bed, still panting slightly and a thin mist of sweat is lining your forehead. Leo gets into bed beside you in the now dark room and you push yourself closer to him as he wraps an arm around you. You lean in and close your eyes against his chest. Sex always made you sleepy, well, good sex did. He looks down at you, kisses your hair and whispers

“You’re gonna need that sleep. I just know I’ll need to have you again in the morning”

You smile against his skin as he rubs small circles on your back as you drift off. The last thing you remember is him whispering, and you’re not sure if it was to you or himself

“It felt good to finally tell someone all that shit. I’m glad you’re here”

Feeling appreciated and satisfied you let sleep take you, only left to dream about what pleasures the morning had waiting for you.

The end

[elianas-cozycorner]

𝓜𝓲𝓭𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓯𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼

Title: “Midnight Confessions”

Author’s Note: One of the final three (3) requests I have from 2018, this particular scenario is something I’ve wanted to write for a while. I absolutely love this plot device, no matter how cliché or overused it may be. I hope you guys enjoy this and have as much fun reading it as I did writing it. To the anonymous requester, I hope you see this. I really wanted to bring justice to your idea, even if it’s more than two years late. 

Request: “Could u possibly do something where the reader and McCree share a bed on a mission (or maybe they just get hurt and r resting) and McCree lays w/ them n stuff and while they’re “sleeping” he confesses his love and that he’s scared to love but it turns out they heard the whole thing ? if not that’s fine, thank u! I love ur writing!” - Anon

Rating/Pairing: 

Jesse McCree/Reader 

Fluff & Brief Angst; GA (General Audiences)

2nd Person, Gender Neutral

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 2.2k | Added a “read more” due to the length.

When operations go wrong, there’s little that can be done to reverse the initial mistake. Not only are lives put on the line, but so too are relationships and the foundations of friendship. Being under constant fire, unable to reach backup or safety, really wears down the body and mind. Though some may find a thrill in it, eventually that too wears away. 

In your case, you had been pinned down for nearly an hour. Though your position had been defensible, it was on track to becoming more of a hazard than anything else. It wasn’t clear who was to blame for the mishap, everything having happened so fast, but one moment the team you were apart of was working together and the next you were alone with Jesse McCree. 

Sighing, you pressed your back to a stone wall. It was one of the only walls that sheltered you from the flying bullets and sniper fire. Jesse was crouched across from you, trying his best to peer around the corner for the next viable bit of cover. 

You picked up your earpiece, taking it from the place it had fallen when you had run for cover. Quickly bringing up two of your fingers, you activated the line. “Commander? Commander are you there?”

Jesse spared you a glance, worry in his eyes as he took in your features, before turning back to make sure no one had advanced on your position. There was a faint crackle of static before your attempt at communication was answered.

“I’m here, agent.” Reyes’ voice was rough and you could hear the noise of gunfire through his link. “What’s your status?” 

You knew that he could hear the gunfire on your end as you answered. “We’re pinned down, I don’t think McCree and I will be able to get to you.”

Reyes cursed under his breath before answering. “Everyone’s on board. We’re ready to get the hell out of here. This aircraft has taken too much damage for us to wait any longer. We’ll give you as much cover as possible, but you two are gonna have to get yourselves out of there. Figure out how to get somewhere safe, you know the drill, agent.”

McCree, whose communications system was linked to yours, nodded. You could see he was too focused to give a verbal answer, so you kept speaking. “Copy that. We’re ready when you are.”

__________

“We’ll keep in touch, agent.” The words ran through your head over and over again, even opened the door in front of you. 

After Reyes had provided enough aerial cover for you and McCree to get to safety, you had both gone to the nearest safe house. Each assignment Blackwatch, or Overwatch, gave its agents was well thought out and discussed. Drop sites that were busy had cheap motels or hostels listed in their information packets, or predetermined safe houses when the locations were more secluded. In this case, it was a secluded safe house. The information sheet you had pulled up earlier made mention of a stocked kitchen, running water, and first aid supplies. What it had failed to tell you was how small the place would be.

It was practically a one room flat in the form of a cabin. Half walls separated the less private rooms, with only the bedroom and bathroom having proper privacy. The rooms were cold, the thermostat untouched for a long time, but it would do.

Flicking on a light switch, you watched as the florescent bulbs lit up the kitchenet and living space nearest the door. A deep sigh escaped you as you finally allowed your body to relax, dropping the small bag on your shoulder near the door. “Well, Cowboy, this is home for the next 48 hours.”

The brunette man behind you had the decency not to laugh as he made his way past you. “Seems so, sugar. You can take the bathroom first, I’ll take a look ‘n’ find somethin’ for-”

“Us to change into. I know. You talked about showering and getting your wounds dressed the entire way here, Jesse.” You said, smiling despite the pain of your split lip, as you went to find bath supplies.

“Wasn’t aware I talked so much.” He laughed, shaking his head and making his way to the bedroom.

“You always talk, Jesse.” You were already halfway into the bathroom, a towel in hand, when you heard him laugh in reply.

You took your time removing your armor and torn, military grade suit. It wasn’t often that you came out of a skirmish so battered, so the shock didn’t fully register until you’d locked yourself in the room alone. Sighing, you focused on getting out of you clothes and tried to ignore the sounds of bullets echoing in your head. It was more painful a process than you’d expected, as you’d gotten grazed by more bullets and scraped by more gravel than you cared to admit.

Just as you let out a hiss, there came a knock on the bathroom door. You heard Jesse’s spurs jangle before he spoke. “You alright, darlin’? I left some clothes out on a chair here.”

You called out, “Just fine, Jesse! Thank you, I’ll grab them on my way out.”

“Sure thing.” He smiled as he spoke, and though you couldn’t see it, you could hear it in voice.

It made you smile as well, knowing you had your best friend looking out for you. The longer you thought about Jesse and his kindness, his thoughtful but flirty nature, the more your cheeks reddened and stomach fluttered. You’d harbored feelings for the modern gunslinger for a long time, nearly as long as you’d been friends. It was something you kept to yourself, mainly because of Blackwatch’s strict dating guidelines for its agents. Stepping into the shower, you knew the next 48 hours would be tough to get through. 

_________

Stepping out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, you found yourself staring directly at the bare chest of your cowboy partner. “Jesse.”

“Darlin’.” The smile on his face grew, becoming a large smirk, as he noticed the blush across your face. “Clothes are over there. Mind gettin’ out o’ the way? Man’s got to shower just as much as the next person.”

You shook your head, blinking quickly as you looked back at his face. “You’re the one in my way, Jesse.”

Chuckling, he stepped aside and let you grab the clothes before heading into the bathroom. The image of his bare chest replayed in your mind as you dressed, despite you having seen him that way before. Jesse was built well, sturdy and muscular. His body had definition and flexed with strength when he moved. Slim, muscled, and padded in just the right places, you’d say. Attractive. That’s what it was. Jesse had an attractive body and personality. 

Perhaps that’s why you’d spent so long harboring feelings for him, when you could have tried getting over it. Jesse was a good man, though he had his flaws, and he was always kind to you. He had been your first friend in Blackwatch, your first confidant. You’d been thick as thieves for the longest time, attached at the hip. You’d known him for so long, that it hadn’t been a surprise to you that you found his body similarly attractive. It had been painful to watch him go through relationships and flings, wishing one day he would chose you and stay.

Sighing, you tried to get rid of those intrusive thoughts by taking care of your injuries. Knowing Jesse McCree so well also meant knowing his trouble with commitment and genuine emotion. He got scared, you could easily tell, and pushed people away when they got close. He may have been worth it, worth the bumps in the road, but no one else knew him enough to know that. Not like you did. 

Clink. Clink. Clink. Your thoughts were interrupted by McCree coming out of the shower, fully dressed, and fiddling with his peacekeeper. He seemed to have taken care of his flesh wounds while in the bathroom, a couple bandages visible beneath the black shirt he wore. His damp hair stuck to his forehead, no hat on his head, and accentuated the small cut running down his temple.

He barely looked up as he stopped in the doorway. “Darlin’-”, He started.

You shook your head, standing to take his pistol from his grip. “Let me look at that cut, Jesse.”

Looking up at you, he gave you a gentle smile. “No need, darlin’, it’s not very deep. Ought to heal like a charm.”

“No, sir, can’t have that getting infected now. Besides,” You glanced at the only, small bed in the room and then at the couch just beyond the doorway to the room. “We can talk about sleeping arrangements as I do.”

Wordlessly, he sat at the edge of the bed and let you get to work. “You know, that couch is old.”

“Mhm,” You focused on your task, making sure to pay attention to his words nonetheless. “It’ll likely be a back killer.”

“Absolutely. Reckon I should take it.” He moved his head a little, wincing at the pressure you put against the cut.

“I have the better back, Jess.”

“Sure, but we wanna keep it that way. ‘Sides, I wouldn’t be much o’ a gentleman if I let you take it, would I?” His comment made you laugh and he smiled at you, glad to see you so happy.

“Stuck in the West again? Acts of chivalry are rare nowadays, Jess.” You said and pulled your hands away from his face, finished with your work.

“We could share.” His suggestion threw you off, especially when you saw he wasn’t joking. 

“You sure?” Your voice was a little nervous as you spoke, something he picked up on.

“As the day I was born. Only if you’re comfortable, darlin’.” 

“Yeah. Okay,” You smiled, helping him to his feet.

________

Jesse was wide awake, his thoughts running a mile an hour. On his back, he could feel where your back met his side, he could feel each even breath you took. He didn’t have any reason to suspect you were awake. You lay facing away from him, eyelids heavy, breath even, and mind somewhere else. He assumed you’d fallen asleep.

With a soft sigh, he pulled his hands from behind his head and turned around. He tried his best not to wake you, keeping his chest from being flush against your back. He tried his best to keep his hands from touching you, but couldn’t help it when he reached up to brush some hair out of your face. It caught your attention, but you didn’t move, too sleepy to care. You just listened as he sighed once more and shifted just a little closer. 

“Darlin’,” He whispered. “I’ve gotten ‘round to thinkin’...”

He paused, almost as if trying to convince himself to stop talking. “I’ve been thinkin’, and I can’t live without you. I’m scared. I’ve loved you for so long now but I’m jus’ so afraid. I could’ve lost you today. I don’t know what went wrong, I don’t want that fear of not knowing in my heart, but I ain’t strong enough to tell you-”

He took a deep, steadying breath before reaching out to you. He wrapped his arm around your waist and, carefully so as to not ‘wake’ you, pulled you completely into him. “Look at me. Confessin’ in the dark while you sleep, not hearin’ a word. It’s pathetic. Truth is, no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to say the words to your face. I want to look at you and say it, I want to keep you close, but I’m a coward. I’ve never been the type of man to commit to no one like that. I don’t think I’m the kind of man to love like that. Never have been. But damn, darlin’, if I can’t help wantin’ that with you. Want to keep you safe, by my side, always, but... but I ain’t the type of man worthy of you like that...”

He trailed off and you, now wide awake, could feel small drops of water hit the back of your neck. Jesse McCree, the strong, charming cowboy was crying. It broke your heart, so much so that all the words you’d thought to say to him left your mind. He was so worth it, so much more than he gave himself credit for, and you loved him. Just as he was.

Turning around, you watched his face mold from sorrow into shock. He tried speaking, but you didn’t give him the chance, “Darlin’-”

Your lips met his before he could utter any more words. It was a soft, emotional kiss that tasted of salt. His tears fell harder, and you only pulled away to hug him closer. Wrapping your arms around him and locking your legs together, you didn’t have to say much to get him to hear you.

“You are my everything, Jesse. I’ve always loved you.”

[fishoutofcamelot]

IT’S OFFICIAL! I’M MAKING A MERLIN-THEMED D&D CAMPAIGN!!! <3

Do you like Merlin? Do you like D&D? Do you like the idea of D&D but don’t know how it works? Then The Rising Sun campaign is just for you! (named after that one tavern in Camelot lmao)

CAMPAIGN PREMISE:

Jailbreak! The members of your party have been locked away in Camelot’s dungeons and must work together to bust out. But with a mysterious curse terrorizing the city, that might be easier said than done. Takes place during the three-year gap between seasons 4 and 5.

BASIC INFORMATION:

4-6 players, all at LVL3

Is this your first game? Your 50th game? All experience levels accepted!

Will feature monsters/characters/settings present in BBCM canon

The session will be recorded and posted to Youtube, so even people who don’t play can still join in on the fun!

Wanna chat about Merlin? (And D&D, but mostly Merlin) Join the Rising Sun Discord Server!!!

It’s a oneshot campaign, meaning there will only be one session

Submit your character sheet/s to me (email under the cut) by November 15th!

The exact length of the session will depend on player availability/preference, and how long it takes us to get through the campaign. But expect it to take around 2-4 hours

You can play as a canon character (like Mithian or Percival), or make an OC 

We will be running this through D&D5e (5th edition) as this is what I’m most familiar with. If you don’t know what that means, don’t worry about it!

Players must have access to Discord. Announcements, party talk, scheduling, etc. will be held on an exclusive channel through the Rising Sun Discord Server

WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITHOUT PLAYING?

Don’t worry, we’ve got something for everyone! I want this to be something everyone in the fandom can enjoy :)

The campaign will be recorded virtually and posted to Youtube in 30-minute parts/episodes, with captions available

Transcripts will also be posted to AO3

Join the Rising Sun Discord Server!

Don’t have a Discord account? Information about the campaign will also be posted to the Rising Sun Campaign tag on Tumblr

Feeling artsy? Feel free to post it! Any campaign-related art sent to me (through Discord, Tumblr, or Gmail) will likely be posted to my Tumblr blog and also feature in one of the episodes uploaded to Youtube, provided you give me permission to do so <3

Interested? More details under the cut! 

PROJECTED TIMELINE

November 1: Player Submission period opens

November 15: Player Submission period ends

November 20: Official player + character list announced

December 18-January 18: Campaign session held. The exact date/time will depend on the availability of party members, but this is just the time period in which it’s most likely to happen (it’s my winter break!)

January/February: Campaign “episodes” will be uploaded to Youtube on a weekly basis, with their respective transcripts posted to AO3. Official release schedule to be posted after the campaign has been recorded

SUBMISSION REQUIREMENTS

Submit to my email: ragicmobot@gmail.com

If you don’t know a lot about D&D and want me to teach you/help you make your character sheet, let me know through Tumblr! 

Submissions should include your: 

Tumblr URL and/or Discord ID

Time zone

Expected availability between Dec18-Jan18

Experience/comfort level with D&D

If you are willing to have your face shown in the recording

Character sheet/s

Any homebrew content you would like to use

You can submit more than one character sheet, but you can only play as one character, and only one character will be accepted into the campaign

If we get more than 6 submissions, players will be chosen based on their availability, friendliness, and how well I think their character will fit into the campaign/party

If you’re accepted as a player, I will let you know via Tumblr/Discord before posting the official player list to Tumblr. You will also be granted access to the Party-Only channel on the Rising Sun Discord server

You MUST be a member of this server, as crucial party discussions, announcements, and Zoom links will be shared there

Make sure to have everything submitted by November 15th!

GUIDELINES

My time zone is PST. Expect this to influence scheduling

If you aren’t comfortable having your face in the recording, you can turn your camera off! However, I will ask that you at least keep your mic on

The session will be held and recorded through Zoom. Make sure you have access to this program! 

Due to Zoom restrictions, a Zoom meeting can’t be any longer than 45 minutes. So the session will probably be broken up into 30-minute meetings, with 5-minute breaks in between each one. The Zoom link/s will be posted to the Party-only channel on the Rising Sun server. If I find a more efficient way of doing this, I will let you know

There will be a session zero, also on Zoom, about a week before we record the session. This is just a quick and casual opportunity for us to meet, work out any technical issues, address campaign expectations, talk about our characters, and get to know each other better <3

General courtesy and Zoom/D&D etiquettes apply. Don’t be a dick!

I might end up commissioning/having art done of the Player Characters (PCs). If you’re not okay with that, let me know!

CHARACTER CREATION

Put your character at LVL 3

Homebrew content is allowed, so long as you have me look it over first!

Use the D&D5e character sheet for character creation (if you need help accessing this I can send you an editable pdf, or help you find an online character sheet creator)

CANON CHARACTERS

Make sure all information on your character sheet is accurate to canon. Any deviations from canon (like giving Elyan magic, or making Percival a time-traveler) must be talked over with me first

Does their canon background have holes or unknowns? Fill them in yourself! Get creative <3

If this character doesn’t have a race available in D&D, like a sidhe, then you have two options. You can either homebrew their profile, or you can using an existing race profile that’s similar while clearly establishing what their real race is

When writing their backstory, try to think of how they would fit into the campaign. Why are they in the dungeons? Is Merlin suffering the aftermath of a magic reveal gone wrong? Did Gwaine get into a tavern brawl? Has George been framed for murder?

OCs

Be creative! Time travelers, shapeshifters, orcs - as long as you develop it well enough, I’ll probably allow it

If your character has a race/species that doesn’t exist in BBCM canon - like an elf or a dwarf - then provide backstory as to why their people are never seen or mentioned in the show. Did the dwarves go into hiding during the Purge? Is your character the first of their kind? Were they cursed into a non-human form?

In the event that we get someone to do art for the PCs, please make sure the physical description of your character is very clear and concise. Consider including reference art of some kind as well. This will hopefully make it easier for the artist/s to do their thing

When writing their backstory, try to think of how they would fit into the campaign. Why are they in the dungeons? Did they get caught trying to kill the king? Did their friend turn them in for sorcery? Did they steal something from the vaults?

This should be a chance for us all to goof off and have fun, so I’m not gonna be super strict on the rules. And if you have any questions, hit me up on Tumblr!! <3

[melodiesofblueroses]

Can I request a Seiichiro with a reader who loves Cinnamoroll and they bond over it?

hello anon, hope you've been doing well!! I hope you don't mind, but I decided to write a fic for this rather than hcs. It is a bit long so apologies for that, but it was just too cute, and I couldn't seem to stop writing! Hope you enjoy 💕

»»————————-　♡　————————-««

-𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨: seiichiro x gn!reader

-𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: fluff

-𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: ~1.9k

»»————————-　♡　————————-««

“could you please give these to the student council president?” one of your fellow club members asked, shoving a stack of documents into your arms. it was nearing the end of the day, and all the members were helping to clean up the classroom before all going their separate ways. quickly scanning over them, you weren’t quite sure what they were for and why a small school club even needed that many papers, but you decided that it would be much less of a headache if you just complied. it’s not like they really asked much out of you anyway since you were simply another member, a mere single digit they could add to their forms. the only reason you were even in a club was because everyone was expected to be in one.

“um, sure,” you replied, trying your best to hold the heavy load of papers. it would surely be a nightmare to reorganize if any were to spill. the other member seemed to pay no mind and instead started to thank you for going through all of the trouble. it’s not like you really minded the task, however, so all you could do was awkwardly stand still so that you could ask them one more question. “could you point me in the direction though?” 

it was usually the captain or co-captain that often dealt with the student council president, and you’d heard quite a bit about him. well, for one, he was supposedly quite handsome, though that was currently the least of your concerns. from what you’ve gathered, the president was a dependable guy, someone who was loved by all. he always took on a task someone asked of him, whether it be too big or small. yet, he was also a bit frightening due to how uptight and strict he was with guidelines. at times, he was quite a pain to deal with, or so you’ve heard. it was rather frustrating to all of the other club captains as they had to redo their forms many times in order to hold up to his standards. in short, the president was a perfectionist. no wonder the captain of your club didn’t want to go deliver the documents today. 

you shuddered at the thought of meeting such a guy, terrified that he’d have you stay longer and redo the papers. you didn’t even know how to fill out the forms, much less what was even on them. as much as you wanted to simply leave the documents at the doorstep, you knew that the club was depending on you. besides, if the president was that strict, then he’d surely get mad at your club, and you couldn’t risk it disbanding. there really wasn’t much you could currently do, however, since you had just arrived at his office. deciding that it was better to get it over with, you knocked on the door a few times, opening and stepping into the room the moment you heard ‘enter.’

you thought that surely the rumors and gossip were exaggerated when you saw a young man sitting at a desk, smiling up at you as you entered the room. there was possibly no way that such a generous looking fellow was so stern. well, there was one thing they got right: he really did seem like a dependable man. plus, he was quite good-looking if you did say so yourself. awestruck, it took you a few moments to snap out of your trance once you caught yourself staring, fumbling over your words in embarrassment as you introduced yourself. 

“uh, i’m y/n l/n from the card games club. the captain asked me to deliver these documents to you.” stepping forward to the desk, you shyly handed over the large stack, trying your best to avoid his gaze. you really hoped that everything was in order so that you could get out of there as soon as possible. your delivery was supposed to arrive today, and you wanted to get home on time to receive it. 

“it’s nice to meet you y/n.” at the sound of his voice, you couldn’t help but gush a bit. you couldn’t believe that you’d fallen for a few false rumors. he was a total sweetheart! or at least, from what you’ve seen. “i’m seiichiro minamoto, the student council president, though i’m sure you already know that.” the laugh that followed after was loud enough to make your heart jump, taken aback by the sudden noise. it also sounded so hearty and warm, however, that you couldn’t help but be flustered. seiichiro was shaping up to be a great guy. “let’s see now…” he muttered to himself as he scanned over the papers you had brought while you stood awkwardly in front of him, awaiting any feedback. it surely was anxiety-inducing, especially for someone that had never interacted with the president before. 

as you stood there, fidgeting and playing with your nails, you began to survey the room and the table, practically anything to avert your gaze from the male that was currently looking over the documents. the first thing that you notice is just how neat and tidy his desk was, despite the numerous papers that filled it. there was a clear system in place, and it was the definition of organization, something that you could only dream of achieving. the next thing you noticed was the sheer amount of papers that sat upon his desk. geez, did he really have to read over all of that, on top of solving disputes between students? seiichiro was nothing short of a superhero. the final thing that caught your eye, and the one that you were most shocked to see was a familiar cute puppy keychain he had on his lanyard. 

“is that a cinnamoroll keychain?” you gasped, forgetting the fact that you had just interrupted the student president. if your captain or any other club member was there with you, they would’ve surely scolded you for speaking out of line, not that it even mattered at that moment. that fact slipped your mind however as you focused at how cute cinnamoroll looked. you were excited to have found another fan of the adorable mascot, though you really weren’t expecting it to be the rumored stern student president of all things.  

“hm? oh, you’re talking about this.” seiichiro took hold of the keychain and held it up so that you could get a closer look. he smiled at the mention of cinnamoroll, cementing the fact that he was a fan which only made you that much more excited. “i take it that you’re a fan as well?”

“of course! cinnamoroll and his friends are so adorable. who couldn’t not love those large flappy ears of his or that cute cinnamon roll tail?” you gushed, all your remaining nerves and anxiety vanishing as you talked about your absolute favorite character. all the rules of etiquette, or at least those used when talking to the student president, were immediately forgotten the moment you found out that he was a fan as well. you had a hard time finding other fans of the mascot that were around you since most people simply told you to grow up and to stop fawning over such a “childish character.” it’s not like you could easily stop loving him though, especially when he’s helped you through some of your darkest times. cinnamoroll was like a friend to you, and you couldn’t just abandon him. needless to say, their opinions really only made you feel bad about yourself, and your love for cinnamoroll only seemed to grow. but now you had found someone who you could gush about him to, and you could finally share your love for cinnamoroll with no judgement at all. “say, have you ever met him?”

seiichiro couldn’t help but chuckle at your enthusiasm. he loved it though. i mean, it’s not everyday that he found another cinnamoroll superfan, especially during school activities. from then on, he just knew that the two of you would get along really well, bonding over your love of the same mascot. “yep, i’ve met him many times at puroland.” he smiled as he recalled all the times he’s met cinnamoroll. those were all fond memories of his, and seiichiro never got tired of meeting him. cinnamoroll always managed to relax and reassure him that he could get everything done. with his workload, it got hard for seiichiro to continue on at times due to burnout, and visiting cinnamoroll was sometimes the perfect remedy (coupled with rest of course). 

“lucky,” you mumbled. you had to admit that you were jealous that seiichiro had gotten to see cinnamoroll before, and at puroland of all places! it was one of your dreams to visit it and stroll around the cinnamoroll area, topping it off with finally being able to meet him. but it was also so cool that you knew someone who knew cinnamoroll. plus the fact that seiichiro had such cool and cute merch made you slightly envious as well. seiichiro was just so awesome, unlike all of those stern and uptight rumors you had previously heard. how come no one ever told you that he was a cinnamoroll fan as well? you would’ve been able to befriend him much sooner if that was the case. “i wish i could meet him someday.” 

“hm, well then y/n, would you like to come with me to puroland saturday?”

it took you a good few moments for you to process what had just happened. was the student council president, the seiichiro minamoto, asking you out on a date? the handsome, cool, and dependable seiichiro; the one right in front of you? of course it wasn’t a date though, just a hangout between friends. but you were so excited at that moment that your brain didn’t register it as the latter. not only would you get to hang out with seiichiro, but you would also be able to meet cinnamoroll. it was killing two birds with one stone!

“i-i’d love to! if you don’t mind that is,” you exclaimed, the excitement and nervousness clearly heard in your voice. it had come out of the blue so it made you extremely flustered. “then we can eat at the cinnamoroll café too!! my treat.” you internally squealed as you thought of your cinnamoroll-filled day that you were to spend with seiichiro in a few days. there were many plans for it that were buzzing around in your mind, but you knew that you had to narrow it down to a few ideas. there was no way that you could fit everything into one afternoon. 

“sounds like a plan.” with another smile of his, you felt your heart pound and your face flush. how did you get so lucky as to snatch a ‘date’ with someone as cute as him? “let’s exchange numbers.” the two of you pulled out your phones and began adding each other to your contacts, messaging one another a simple ‘hi’ to make sure that you were talking to the right person. “we can meet up at the nearest train station from here if that’s alright.” 

“that sounds good!” needless to say, you were giddy about the entire thing, and so was seiichiro though he didn’t outwardly show it. a day filled with cinnamoroll goodness spent side-by-side by another fan was exactly what you currently needed. besides, it’d be a chance for the two of you to bond over a shared interest and grow closer to one another. everything about it was just perfect. 

you couldn’t wait until saturday came by.

[celestial-violencia]

Going Professional As a Tarot Reader

I have been going through tarot guidebooks lately to clear out my library of books that no longer serve me, and I have been noticing a common trend with a lot of them: They discuss briefly about becoming a professional tarot reader, but they never offer any insight or guidelines of what a professional needs. Instead, it’s often “Go pro when you feel ready!” Honestly, there are a LOT of readers on the market who, in my opinion, are not quite ready to become professionals. I have gotten readings from people that have been quite sub par and while there’s no governing agency of tarot readers, I thought I would lay out my guidelines of what I would expect from a professional reader. Obviously, these are my opinions, and you’re more than welcome to disagree.

While definitely not the norm and I want to emphasize that fact, these are just some basic scams that I have seen from people who are claiming to be professional readers. I just want to cover these briefly because if you see any of these red flags, RUN: – Using tarot as a gateway to other services (Spell removals, “curse” or “hex” removals, reiki services, etc) – Making bold and questionable claims about “attachments” the client may have – Advertising purely based on whatever is trendy at the time (i.e. FIND YOUR SOULMATE NOW!) – A sense of urgency in their advertisements – An inability to explain tarot in their own words

Now I want to cover the milestones in your tarot journey that, in my opinion, should be reached before reading for others and requiring payment: 1. No longer using the guidebook to look up cards for a reading. This is definitely absolutely key in being a professional reader. For starters, reading from the guidebook will most likely cause your credibility to take a hit with your clients. When people pay for readings, they are not paying for a bedtime story of someone else’s interpretation of the cards. They’re paying for you to have your own unique take on the cards. You should have a personal relationship with whatever deck you’re using to read for other people. You should not be depending on someone else’s voice, even if it’s the creator of the deck, to dictate your intuition and your relationship with the cards. You should be able to offer an in-depth reading with different perspectives, know how to reword clients’ questions so they get the most of their reading, and have a spread arsenal ready or know how to create your own tarot spreads. 2. Know how to properly address “negative” cards with your clients. When Death, the Tower, etc. show up in a reading, you should not be discouraging to your clients if they’re paying for a reading. I have had some readers pull these cards and their interpretation was just “Well, guess you’re fucked.” These people thought they could be a professional reader. I can wholeheartedly assure you that, if you give a client a reading like that when they’ve paid you, you’re going to have one unhappy client. When you’re in an informal setting, reading for friends, a reading like in the previous paragraph would be fine. But when you’re addressing someone who is most likely a stranger, who is coming to you for help at a vulnerable time in their life, you cannot conduct a reading like that. You should have a game plan for what to say if a “negative” card comes up in a reading and a way of addressing your clients’ fears about the card. 3. Know how to set boundaries and handle different personality types. I compare professional reading to customer service jobs. Those same people are the ones you’re dealing with on a day-to-day basis, the context is only slightly different. You need to know what boundaries you are setting as a professional reader and how to enforce those boundaries. There are also going to be people you may not vibe with and you need to know how to handle those situations. Will you still conduct the reading? If not, how are you prepared to turn down the client? Can your actions be viewed as discriminatory? Do you have a code of ethics for yourself and the readings you conduct? How will you enforce your code? If a client becomes explosively angry towards you, how will you handle that situation? If they are reading on something where they really need a professional or where you are concerned for their safety and well-being or they become obsessive with readings, how are you going to approach that situation? 4. Know your local laws and required disclaimers. Sure, adding a disclaimer to your readings may make you feel fraudulent. But not only can that save you in the event of a lawsuit, it may be required depending on your state or local laws. Especially if you will be doing in-person, public events, you need to make sure that you are following your local laws. Also, some types of readings are most likely illegal in your locality. Examples of this would be readings making decisions regarding legal advice, medical or mental health advice, or financial investment advice. These fields require degrees and licensing to advise people accordingly as there are ethics codes and strict laws that need to be followed. Make sure the readings you conduct do not go against any malpractice laws. Reading for minors without parental consent may also be illegal in your locality. Additionally, if you make over a certain amount annually, you may be required to pay taxes and possibly register as a business. Failure to adhere to these laws can result in hefty fines, civil lawsuits, or worse, jail time. 5. Know your niche and method of delivery. What sets you apart from other readers? What makes your reading style unique? Have you even developed a reading style? These are important questions to ask yourself before setting out into the world of professional tarot readers. With the rise of tarot in popularity, readers are a dime a dozen, especially online. What makes you different from other readers on the market? What can you offer that other readers may not? How will you advertise yourself? Will you be doing in-person events or strictly long distance reading? If long-distance, will you be offering phone calls, Skype sessions, email readings, etc? What platforms will you use? Who is your target demographic? When will you accept payment and via what methods? These are important questions to ask yourself when establishing a business.

If you’re ever not sure about a reader you’ve found online, please check the reviews before booking with them. And if there’s anything missing, let me know and I might make a part two.

[prinxlyart]

I will say, I am hungry again and I have a few ask for your Willumity/Vinira headcannons. HOWEVER to be fair to you. This time I will restrain myself and simply ask for you to share any headcanons you want to share as of now!

You can ALWAYS ask for more Willumity.

A L W A Y S

But!! Since you’ve given me free reign to just play in this sandbox, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do

We all agree that Luz is hella ADHD. This girl will talk for HOURS about the shit she likes. If something grabs her attention, she wants to know everything about it. She doesn’t like being told to do things, but she loves being asked to do things. For example: if someone tells her she needs to do a thing her brain will immediately click into the “No” position and will refuse to budge. If someone asks her to do something, her brain clicks to “help? I can help? I can help with a thing for this person? Yes! I’ll help this person with this task because it will make them happy! Yes! I can help!” This is why acts of service resonate so strongly with her.

I don’t know what mental diversity looks like on the Boiling Isles considering how just. Horror-based everything is? But I’m 100% on that autistic Amity train. She has to do things a Certain Way or she’ll teeter on the edge of a meltdown. She refuses to touch/eat certain textures. She usually doesn’t know what the appropriate response/reaction is to a given conversation, especially with her socialite friends, which is why she just remains a cool mask of indifference. She’ll inspect every detail of anything that’s handed to her. She’s incredibly smart, but doesn’t always know how to convey what she knows and understands into words other people can understand. The only people allowed in her personal space are her siblings. Eventually that also stems to Luz and Willow, maybe more as she grows more comfortable with herself? But usually anyone getting in her space is overwhelming and alarming. Defo has a hard time regulating/processing her emotions.

I need to make an entire post dedicated to Augustus Porter because my boy deserves it, but I’ll toss some random things here. He has a signed poster from the head of the Illusionist Coven framed on his bedroom wall. He and his dad have bi-weekly after-dinner standup comedy sessions with each other (Perry has kept a secret journal of all of Gus’s best jokes he’s done over the years that he reads whenever he needs a pick-me-up).

Perry and Eda knew each other in school in passing. Their social circles overlapped but they were never hanging out in the same groups. When Gus is very little (like, maybe 3 or 4?), Perry takes him to the market to just wander around and they find Eda’s Human Collectibles Stand. She and Perry catch up, he introduces her to his son, and Eda (ever the saleswoman) pulls out some shiny human thing that Gus is immediately taken with. In between her and Perry catching up, Gus asks her a million questions about the thing he’s been given and then even more questions about other stuff at her stand. She actually finds it really fun to show off her human shit to someone so enthralled by it. She makes some stuff up here and there just to mess with him, but he’s too young to realize it’s a joke or not true, and takes everything at face value. We all know Eda likes to get a little theatrical with her sales pitches; she does the Salesperson act with everything Gus asks her about. She lets Gus take a couple items home just because he was such a riot and Perry insists he pay for something, but Eda just waves them off and tells him that this is just an investment in a lifelong customer. She had no idea how right she was because Gus defo became obsessed with human culture from that point on. He also picked up on Eda’s super theatrical sales pitches (because he thought it was funny and because he thought that’s just how you’re supposed to show human stuff to people) and began showing off his own “human collectibles museum” to his dad with the same theatrical voice. Perry plays along with this too (as a news anchor he’s got a great announcer voice) and ta-da! That’s how we get the boy we all know and love today. It’s 100% Eda’s fault, but Perry definitely encouraged it because it made his son so happy. That’s also why Gus doesn’t seem especially perturbed at meeting Eda for the first time in ep 3. Or for interjecting his new Human Knowledge in the moment she was patting Luz’s head. He’s used to having conversations with her about human junk whenever she has her stand up. Eda’s secretly relieved that one of Luz’s new friends is actually someone she kinda knows. It’s Perry’s kid, and Perry’s a good guy. His little squirt seems to be growing up to be pretty good too.

Eda scoffs at “nerdy” shit as if she hasn’t owned the Clawthorne Braincell her entire life. “She worked twice as hard” “-that just made me work harder than you!”. Eda’s extremely smart and extremely talented. She likely created the secret room of shortcuts entirely on her own. She probably studied in the school library constantly, but under the guise of causing mischief. And like. She probably did both. She was a potions track kid so she probably knew all the best ways to make stink bombs that she could leave hidden in the shelves. She hated school because she was so limited and stifled; she only wanted to learn magic and was told no at every turn. So when she learned magic on her own, yknow, without the guidance of a teacher, there’s bound to be some major fuck ups. Once she’s fine-tuned her mistakes though, she absolutely turns them into pranks. You say I’m not allowed to study multiple tracks, bumpikins?? Well how’s THIS!!! How’s THAT for focus??? (Half of her pranks were also just her showing off and desperately hoping to prove that she could learn any type of magic and couldn’t be constrained to just the one. Bump recognized this of course, but he had strict guidelines to follow and no Luz Noceda to call him out for it.)

Camila treasures her daughter more than life itself. I personally refuse to headcanon anything to do with her extended family or why she’s a single parent (too many variables and options that could be addressed in the show), but I do know that she loves Luz more than anything. It’s exhausting being a single mom, working as a nurse, and trying to be there for her ADHD daughter when the rest of the world doesn’t seem to want her. It hurts her so much to see her baby, the light of her life, her Luz, be brushed aside and written off as “the weirdo”, or bullied, or even outright hated by some people just because she’s a little different. She’s had to have some words with the school staff for how they treat her on occasion. Did you see that Principal’s death glare in the first ep?? He hates her. Camila’s there not just because she’s Luz’s parent, but also to act as a barrier between the principal and Luz. She would move Heaven and Earth for Luz, but it can be a lot when you’re the only adult around. I truly believe she wanted Luz to go to that camp to learn how to be friends with kids that didn’t already know her or her quirks. Even she sounded unsure of what they would do at that camp, but she had full faith that this would be Luz’s opportunity to make friends with other kids that could teach her to like....more mainstream stuff. So she could learn how to mimic their (hopefully, toned down) behaviors. She just wants her baby to be accepted by others.

This next one’s a doozy so hold on to your butts

Lilith is technically smart. And I mean that in a literal sense - she can read and understand the fundamentals of magic, the concepts and execution of complex spells, recite entire chapters of Boiling Isles history, you name it. Many adults in her youth called her gifted because of it. All she actually did was absorb the information and regurgitate it when asked. She thrived on the praise she received. What made her different from her sister is that she never wanted anything more than to do as she was told. Her biggest goal? Her dream job? Was to just be given orders by the Emperor. I’m sure there’s all sorts of flowery propaganda surrounding that, advertising how incredible it is to be in the Emperor’s Coven, what an honor it is to work alongside the witch that can speak to the Titan. But it’s literally just. Taking orders. And knowing you’re somehow better than everyone else because you’ve been selected to be among the elite. She never strived for anything more; she never wanted to do anything else but enforce the Emperor’s will because that was “the highest honor” a witch could have. As a result (or in conjunction rather) she lacks literally any amount of foresight. There’s only one braincell in the Clawthorne Family and her sister has it because this dumbass doesn’t think about anyone but herself. Instead of talking with Eda about what they should do when they were told there was only one spot left in the Emperor’s Coven, she walked away. Only thinking of how she could secure her victory. She didn’t ask Eda how she felt about the situation, she didn’t let Eda speak her mind about what her own desires were; Eda made it clear enough that she just wanted to be by Lilith’s side, she didn’t care what that meant. She just wanted to be with her big sister. Eda tried to reach out to her to discuss their cirumstances, but Lilith just walked away like the broody, self-centered teenager that she was and resolved to cheat her way to victory. When Eda knew this was her dream. Why would she think Eda would take away her dream???? She could’ve asked Eda to throw the duel? She could’ve asked her to fake the match? Or even fake sick? Or just not even shown up! If she didn’t show up it could’ve counted as a forfeit and Lilith would’ve earned the spot by default! But no, she had to ruin her sister’s entire life in an act of cowardice and dishonor because she’s so full of herself and didn’t read the fine print. She loves her sister, of course she does, but she’s so self-absorbed that she’s never seen Eda for who she actually is and wasted both of their lives as a result. And this is all just analysis of her character and that flashback, this isn’t even headcanons. I think if she has any amount of respect for her sister (she doesn’t), her redemption will have to go far far beyond an apology and taking on half the curse. When I say Lilith is a dumbass, this is specifically what I mean. She doesn’t think about how her actions will affect those around her. She was the Head of the Emperor’s Coven, literally one of the most powerful positions she could possibly be in on the Boiling Isles and still sacrificed Amity’s dignity and years of hard work just so she could be ensured that she could one-up her sister. She did this in front of everyone in attendance of that Witches Duel. She risked Amity’s credibility as a witch, as a Blight, and as a person just to fuel her own ego. It’s no wonder Amity was so upset; the witch she’s been idolizing her whole life didn’t think she had what it took to best a human that couldn’t do magic in a witches duel. That can fuck up your self esteem something fierce. And Lilith hardly seemed to give a shit!!!! She didn’t care that she just trashed Amity’s reputation in front of dozens of spectators!!!! I’m v bitter about Lilith as a character in case you couldn’t tell.

If I had to throw a headcanon in, I’ll toss one in that sterling and I have discussed: Lilith literally doesn’t know how to live her life as an independent adult. Sure, she knows how to like. Make herself some easy dinners? But that’s literally only because she used to make herself and Eda dinners when they were kids. Beyond that, she has no fucking idea. She can do the basic household chores any teenager knows how to do, but she’s lived in the Emperor’s Castle with the rest of the Coven since she joined. It’s kind of like living in a college dorm; food and a room is provided, there’s maybe a laundry service, she’s never had to pay taxes in her life (not that Eda does, but yknow). The only things she buys for herself (if she doesn’t make it herself) is her hair dye and books. When she first moves in to the Owl House, she has no idea how the household chores are done. She’s on House Cleaning Duty Eternally and the first......I’ll say year. Eda will wake her up by banging pots and pans over her head once every month and scream-singing about how it’s House Cleaning Day, pull out her lawn chairs and some lemonade, and she and Luz (and sometimes King) will just sit back and relax and watch the show that is Lilith trying to clean Hooty. Hooty does not like to cooperate with her (partially because Lilith is a special friend and partially because he knows how much joy it brings Eda and Luz to watch her struggle).

Oof I could go on but this is already one hell of a post huh? Sorry (not really) for dragging Lilith so hard; not a joke, tumblr made me split hers up into two bullet points because it couldn’t comprehend my ranting for so long in one bullet point. I do love sharing these with y’all though, they’re so much fun and I’m so glad you guys like my rambling. <3333

[reddogcollar]

Gretchen

And a distinct, helpless feeling.

First/Prev/Next

Gretchen rode into Brackenholme, a couple days ahead of schedule. She'd managed to free herself of her duties in Hedgemoor early, and decided to travel ahead of the real heat.

In a half circle behind her, were the Harriers. A fraction of them, at least.

Most of the Harriers who'd fought for her during the war had returned to the lives they'd had before, farmers and blacksmiths, and the like. Nearly none of them wanted to pursue the life of a soldier after being thrust into it.

The name stuck, though.

Of those few who'd remained, Trent was among them. He'd insisted on coming along to Brackenholme.

They both knew he'd be better spent in Hedgemoor, and that he'd be expected to stay. And traveling with him, even with companions, felt daunting, after everything.

Though, it'd be cruel of her to deny him the chance to see his brother after so long, and downright insulting to insinuate he wouldn't be able to make the trip because of his condition.

Despite said condition, he'd seemed to fair well.

Everyone pretended not to notice his obvious discomfort, getting off his horse as they arrived in Brackenholme. She paid special attention to her cane, needlessly inspecting it of any damage that may have happened on the ride.

If was well made, and entirely too sturdy to sustain any notable damage. She scrutinized it thoroughly though, until Trent came up beside her.

It was probably hard on his knees, if she had to guess, which he'd commented on before.

The war and everything Lucas and his Wyldwolves, may they all rot, did to him had put tremendous strain on his joints. It frustrated her to no end that everything that could be done for him already had been.

His health was as good as it was going to get.

Putting the matter aside, as there truly wasn't anything she could do, especially now, she handed off her horse to one of the Harriers and walked to one of the lifts, as quickly as she could without dropping her cane and breaking into a run.

Trent followed, not bothering to try and squash down his obvious excitement. It was clear to anyone who looked at him he was there for a visit, and barely considered himself to be on duty.

She stepped into one of the Great Oaks lifts, Trent just a step behind her, and ran her hand through her hair as it lurched upwards. She knew there was no reason to, but she felt apprehensive.

As if the letters she'd received had been false, and there were strangers waiting at the top to tell her her loved ones were already dead.

After everything, it was hard to believe they'd survived.

She sighed, gripping her hair in a fist and putting most of her weight on her cane, and got a reassuring look from Trent. Before he could say anything, the lift came to a stop and she had to straighten and smooth out her hair before stepping out.

Forcing herself to keep to a brisk walk, she went through the halls with Trent beside her, just a half step behind, nodding at those she passed until she entered the main hall, where all the apprehension dissipated instantly.

There was Drew, looking troubled and staring out a window. Farther back in the room, Bergan stood talking with an advisor about something she could not hear.

Lady Rainer was elsewhere.

They came up behind Drew and Gretchen tapped him on the shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts and causing him to flinch and turn around.

A grin split his face the second he laid eyes on them.

"Gretchen, Trent!" He briefly hugged each of them in turn, "You're here ahead of schedule, aren't you?"

"After freeing myself up, I could think of no reason to delay." She smiled, "Staying in Brackenholme has always been quite relaxing. How've you been?"

"Troubled, truth be told." He said, dropping his smile and glancing out the window, as if he were about to be lost in thought again, before waving it away, "But lets not worry about such things for now, its great to see you two. How've you been?"

She nodded, respecting his privacy no matter how she'd like to pry. It troubled her to think a friend of hers was suffering and there was, yet again, nothing she could do.

"I'm glad to see you too. I've honestly been feeling better than I have since before everything. Things are finally starting to feel solid again."

It was Drew's turn to nod. He was no stranger to the instability of war, either.

"And you, Trent?" He asked, turning to his brother, "How's Hedgemoor treating you?"

The brothers talked, briefly comparing their living arrangements to what they'd had on the Cold Coast before growing solemn and changing the subject, while she noticed Bergan coming over.

Not wanting Drew and Trent to be interrupted, they'd had very little time to talk face to face, even after the war, she met him halfway.

"Gretchen, my dear!" He pulled her into a bear hug, aptly enough, "Tell me, how've you and Hedgemoor faired since your last letter?"

"Thing's seem to be getting better by the day, Uncle. After Krupha's occupation in Hedgemoor, I feared none of the people would truly be able to rest until they'd all been replaced by a new generation. As for me, I've no troubles that I could burden you with." She smiled at him.

Of course, she had troubles, but that didn't mean she had the need to burden anyone with them but herself.

He nodded, leaving one of his hands on her shoulder.

"I'm glad to know you're finally coming to peace, as well as your city. What of Redmire?" He asked, as most developments had been so recent she hadn't had time to write of them.

"Redmire is being governed by a cousin of Count Fripp's, Brenn rest his soul, now that the bulk of his work in Bray is taken care of. Everyone who'd been displaced has returned, and you can barely tell what happened there. I only need to take care of one city now."

It'd felt like her duty, Hector being her cousin and the only remaining boar. He probably wouldn't want to be a Baron even if he could, anyways.

"Though, of course, that's also not a permanent arrangement. Its merely a favor on behalf of his departed cousin. Between the two of us, though, we'll have to find a suitable replacement before the stress of running two cities becomes too much for him as well." She explained, even now feeling guilty for putting what should be her duty onto an old man.

More so, it pained her that it was her duty in the first place, and not her cousin's to take care of. While being a Baron may not be his ideal, it'd mean he wasn't imprisoned, at least.

"No more of this political talk, though," She rushed on, quickly changing the subject, "How are you, Uncle?"

"I'm afraid how I am would be deeply intertwined with political talk, no matter what," He chuckled, "But I suppose I'm as fine as I can be. Busy, with this new celebration, that may well become annual, but its good to have a change of pace every now and again, eh?"

"And how goes all this preparation?"

"As smoothly as it could. Though I suppose that's helped by there being no strict guideline as to how things should go yet." His smile was barely visible through his beard.

She wasn't sure he'd ever been without it.

"If there's anything I could assist with, you know I will." She offered, then after his thanks, excused herself and left the Great Oak entirely.

She understood the concept behind celebrating their victory, and how it may boost the citizens morale, but she couldn't separate the concept from pointless slaughter.

Everyday that passed brought them nearer to when the war was won, and it made her feel ill. The reason she'd come to Brackenholme wasn't to celebrate, but to surround herself with as many people as possible, fearing what come when she was alone.

The Cats of Bast left an undeniable mark on all in Lyssia, not least on her.

She walked to clear her head, having no designation in mind, simply focusing on the rhythm of her footsteps and cane on cobble paths.

The celebration would mean remembering Whitley's death, sacrificing herself to save Trent, Cape Gala, and Lucas, in all his wretchedness.

To think she'd once looked forward to being married to him...

She walked that bit faster, focusing on the rhythm and nothing else until she found herself at the Garrison Tree.

Looking for anything to break her from her reverie, she went up to see Hector. It'd be nice to finally speak with him, with such scant replies he'd had to any letters she'd sent.

She was stopped dead by the guard stationed outside his room, though.

"I apologize, my lady, but I'm under orders to not let anyone see the Boarlord. He's been classified a danger to himself and others." He explained, tipping his head in a sign of respect.

She glared, finding that to be the most absurd thing she'd ever heard. What was more absurd, was that the orders would have had to have come from Drew.

"If he's a danger to himself, does locking him up alone really make sense?" She argued, crossing her arms and refusing to go back down.

"It does if he's a danger to others."

"Have you SEEN that boy?! There's no way he's a danger!" She said, quickly losing her patience with the guard, though she knew he was just following his orders.

"Tell that to Queen Amelie!" The guard exclaimed, becoming invested in the argument. It became clear he held some sort of resentment toward Hector.

Gretchen rolled her eyes, scoffing.

"She practically fell on his knife, it hardly counts as an example!"

"He raised a city of the dead! Where your cousin died, might I add!" The guard waved one of his hands about, gesturing as he spoke and nearly knocking against the door he stood in front of.

"It was Lucas who killed Whitley, and you'd do well to remember that!" She practically shouted at him, standing up straighter and becoming red in the face with anger. She wouldn't have Lucas's misdeeds attributed to her cousin.

"Besides, Hector was possessed the entire time. He can't be blamed for Icegarden." She added, regaining her composure to the best of her ability.

"He tricked the White Bears out of their city and took it over with the Ugri!"

"Well he didn't kill anyone to do it! He's hardly dangerous, and especially not to me, of all people." She said, to no avail.

The guard wouldn't budge, which was a comfort to a small part of her. At least if no one was allowed in, he'd be safe in there.

But loneliness clearly didn't agree with him, and he hardly needed to be protected from her.

She argued with the guard until her legs grew sore, and she started leaning on her cane more noticeably.

The guard sighed, standing up straighter and putting on a passive look.

"You're not seeing him and that's final, my lady. Those are my orders and I will not go back on them. You'd do well to go enjoy the rest of your day, instead of spending it arguing with me."

She bit the inside of her cheek, glaring at the guard. It was clear he wouldn't be swayed by any amount of arguing, and she didn't fancy trying to bribe him.

Furious, she left the Garrison Tree in search of Drew.

She found him just as he was coming off one of Great Oak's lifts, catching him unawares and grabbing him by the wrist.

"We need to talk, Wolf."

He looked surprised, not only by her tone but what she'd called him. Though it was leagues above "mutt", she'd reserved titles such as that for strangers.

She pulled him aside, where people were less likely to be disturbed by the impending argument, before going off on him.

"What in the world could've gotten into you, Ferran, to not only let Hector be confined to a cell in the first place, but now for me to find you've ordered your soldiers not to let him be seen, calling him a danger that he hardly presents?!" She demanded, keeping her voice low.

If she were to shout at him, everyone outside would hear.

This only made his surprised look appear more dramatic, muddled by confusion and a small amount of offence.

"Gretchen, that order was made by Bergan, just a couple of days ago! There's nothing I can do about it, short of trying to convince him otherwise, which I've been trying to do whenever I get the chance." He explained, quick to redirect her anger.

"Why in Brenn's name would he do that?!" She huffed, twisting her cane and driving it into the dirt.

Drew hesitated, as if conflicted, before clasping his hands.

"It'd be best if Hector told you." He answered, refusing to answer in any useful way.

"Well I can't if I'm not allowed to see him."

He was quiet for a moment, looking at the Garrison tree, craning his head back to see the top.

"Well, I climbed the tree last night." He supplied, looking back at Gretchen.

She turned to look up at the Garrison tree, rubbing her thumb on the smooth wood of her cane.

She could go for periods of time without it, but it was never long before the pain became impossible to ignore. She'd done the injury no favors in Icegarden, and the strain had undone a good portion of the healing it'd gone through prior.

She didn't regret a thing.

"I don't think that'd work for me." She said finally, looking back at Drew. She may be able to walk a distance but she had no desire to test her limits climbing up and down a Great Oak.

"Yeah." He nodded, tapping the White Fist's pointer against its thumb.

The clicking was the only sound between them for a moment, before the White Fist crunched, Drew holding it in a fist with a smile on his face.

"I may be able to help you though, come." He walked off in the direction of the Garrison Tree, not waiting. He stopped at a bench alongside the cobble path, a short ways away from the Tree, and had her sit down and wait.

He went into the Garrison Tree, and she was to wait either for the guard or Drew to come out, depending on if he could be convincing.

A minute passed, then another, and another.

After the fifth, she saw the guard leaving the Garrison Tree, seeming pleased with himself.

She waited another ten minutes before no one was in sight, and got up, walking as if she had nowhere to be and was just enjoying a stroll, before darting into the Garrison Tree the moment she neared it.

Outside Hector's door stood Drew, standing guard.

She smiled, thankful for his help, and slipped into the cell.

Hector sat a table with a book in front of him, looking at her with an owlish expression, as if he hadn't expected her.

"Hello, cousin." She quickly closed the distance, briefly touching his shoulder in greeting instead of hugging him. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

"Gretchen! Hi!" He smiled awkwardly, slapping the book shut and pushing it away from him. "This is rather unexpected!"

"I apologize for that, but unexpected was the only way I'd get to see you, it seems." She sat down, and asked, "What happened with Bergan?"

He grew as stiff as the covers on his books, and looked uncomfortable.

"Nothing important, really." He said, obviously not wanting to talk about the subject.

"Hector, it absolutely is important! Why have I been barred from seeing you?" She asked, refusing to ignore what was happening. She couldn't do anything if she couldn't understand.

"You really needn't worry about me, I'm fine. I'll get by." He insisted, glancing around the room. After everything, it seemed he still had trouble with eye contact.

"Of course I need to worry about you! You're my cousin and now you're being isolated. What kind of family would I be if I did nothing?"

"You'd be much happier family if you simply didn't concern yourself with it! I've enough books to keep me entertained should I be isolated, it won't kill me." He insisted, wrapping his good arm around his chest in an imitation of crossing them.

"Books do not substitute for a conversation, and if you're smart you'd know isolation isn't good for you no matter how books you've got!" She said, thumping her cane against the floor for emphasis despite being seated.

"I want to help you, but I can't if I don't know the full extent of the problem." She said, losing her argumentative tone for a more concerned one.

Hector stayed quiet, looking solemn.

"I can't tell you." He said quietly, looking down at the table top.

"Do you not trust me?"

"Of course I do!" He quickly looked up, before appearing ashamed of himself. "I simply fear you wouldn't trust me."

They both flinched when they heard Drew knock on the door, softly three times.

That was her cue to leave, lest they run into someone on the way out and get caught.

She sighed, standing.

"I'll be back, cousin. And I expect to find out what happened. I'll help you no matter what." She put her hand on his shoulder again, lingering there while he gave his short goodbye.

With no excuse to stay and risk getting caught, she pulled herself away.

She spent the rest of the evening in Bergan's hall, puzzling out Hector's situation and what she could do. There had to be something, she refused to helplessly stand by.

It was there she finally bumped into Lady Rainer.

"Hello, Gretchen," She greeted her, smiling warmly, "I'm sorry I missed you when I arrived."

"It's no trouble." Gretchen waved it away, lost in thought and only half listening.

"Is something on your mind?" Rainer frowned. "You seem distracted."

She was quiet for a moment, considering whether or not Rainer would be able to help her. The Duchess had always been more reasonable than her husband, surely this matter was no different.

"You know what Bergan is doing to Hector, yes?"

Rainer's expression dropped, becoming saddened as she nodded.

"Aye."

"And it's a horrible thing to do, to isolate him!"

"It is." She nodded again, "I've talked to him about it, but he has the final say when it comes to serious crime. And he can be as stubborn as a goat."

"Hector is barely a criminal." Gretchen straightened, prepared to get into another argument.

"Gretchen," Lady Rainer started slowly, taking time to pick her words carefully, "I care for him too but he did seize Icegarden, nearly starve out your uncle, and kill the queen. These things shouldn't be overlooked."

"He was sick in the head! He shouldn't be vilified for being ill!" Gretchen argued, refusing to see her cousin mistreated.

"Of course he shouldn't. But it doesn't excuse the harm he caused. He can be helped without us disregarding his mistakes, which would do more hard than good." She said, still taking time to choose her words.

Years of debating with Bergan had forced her to hone the skill of convincing people she was right.

Gretchen deflated, becoming tired and sullen instead of angry.

"I have very little family left, and I cannot lose him, neither to death or Bergan disallowing me from speaking to him." She said, her voice coming out flat.

"I know. I haven't stopped trying to make him be more reasonable, and I don't intent to." Lady Rainer assured her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

It made her feel that much less helpless.

"Thank you."

[noneatnonedotcom]

Accidental villain jaune: judgment

Jaune took a deep breath as he walked into the light of the stage, he barely heard the sounds of his introduction or the sounds of the audience’s polite applause. This was too important for someone like him to handle and yet here he was the only person who had actually tried to do this. He took a deep breath, letting the memories of his time with yang filter through calming him. Reminding him that even if everything went wrong, that even should the worst befall him and his enemies destroy all he built.

They’d still be there, they’d still love him.

All that was left to do was show them the levels of devotion he had for them and build a better world for them to live in.

He smiled at using their memories for strength and opened his mouth, his voice clear and confident, a little deeper than natural but hey he was a ruler, and lords were known for their lies. 

Even the small ones.

Thank you for that introduction, Elbasan, and thank you for the invitation to speak in defense of my ideals. It is a privilege to be here, as a representative of Patch to offer my thoughts on a topic that is vital to Patch’s future: how institutions and individual citizens can work together to strengthen the rule of law and make Vale a more just society.

First, let’s define the terms.  We often talk about “rule of law” in Vale, and I think the dictionary definition is pretty clear: the principle that all people and institutions are subject to and accountable to law that is fairly applied and enforced.

In democracies like the Atlas and Vale, writing, interpreting, and enforcing the law is the formal responsibility of the government, the council,  but it is also the responsibility of citizens to participate in ensuring that—I will say it again—all people and institutions are subject to and accountable to law that is fairly applied and enforced.

The glory of justice and the majesty of law are created not just by the King– nor by the Council – nor by the officers of the law – nor by the lawyers – but by the men and women who constitute our society – who are the protectors of the law as they are themselves protected by the law.

But I submit to you that following the law is only one element of justice. Now, what do I mean by justice? Try Searching the word, as I did while writing this speech, and you’ll find some vague and unhelpful definitions. For example: “Justice is the quality of being just.”

Jaune smirked as the audience chuckled, he was on a roll now he had to do was keep up the momentum

“So “justice” is hard to define, but having seen many kingdoms, I’ve come to realize that attitudes about justice often deeply reflect history and culture.”

“In some places, history and culture dictate an emphasis on strict administration of written laws—written by a legislature or perhaps derived from religious texts—to ensure fairness and impartiality.”

“Citizens are expected to accept a court ruling, even if it is negative. In other places, people view the law more as a general guideline, but if a court rules against them, they are quick to dismiss the decision and assert their own definition of fairness.”

“This is frequently true where a minority group believes, perhaps with good reason,” Jaune quickly emphasized as he raised a hand in a placating manner to stave off the shouts and arguments that were sure to come

“That their government does not offer them equal protection under the law, or even that laws which were written specifically to disenfranchise them and deny them equal justice. And in some places, people are raised with the idea that providing opportunities for family or friends is more important than any responsibility to an abstract law or to society as a whole. I’ll be coming back to this point in just a moment, trust me when I say that it affects that greatly.”

He took a breath looking out over the masses of people all waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“This would be a good place for me to say that The Kingdom of Vale, the birthplace of democracy, is still struggling to build a society where all citizens and residents can be confident of equal protection under the law.” 

No one spoke too enraptured by his speech, by the confidence in which he spoke the truth, to offer an argument

“So, I don’t want to give you the impression that building a just society is easy, or that Vale has all the answers. But we understand the importance of the goal of equality under the law, and we keep fighting to make it a reality.”

He took a breath drinking a glass of water even as his thoughts went back to his girls, to the women he loved more than anything. To the people who gave him a home after he had lost everything save his sister

“Let’s talk about Patch for a moment. I submit that an expansive view of justice, a concept that includes equal rights and opportunities, equal protection under the law, and confidence that government officials will be held accountable to the people, would create hope for Patch’s youth and confidence among Patch’s partners.”  

“This view of justice expands its benefits to all of society, but what are the benefits of living in a just society with equality for all?”

“I believe that a just society is a more peaceful society, not without disagreement, but with established, non-violent means for working out differences among groups, and between citizens and government. In a just society, people feel that justice has been served when they understand how decisions are made, even if they don’t agree with the final result.”

“Finally, a just society is the foundation of a peaceful, prosperous society. A society in turmoil—a society without the predictability that rule of law brings—is a less attractive place for entrepreneurship and job creation.”

“Justice—the kind that protects all citizens equally—requires consistency and predictability, and respecting and implementing court decisions is an obligation of government agencies. Where rule of law is respected, court decisions are not open to negotiation or personal interpretation.”

“But, by embracing justice based on equal rights and opportunities, rule of law, and accountability for all of Patch’s citizens, you can ensure Patch achieves a brighter future. A future in which people succeed based on merit and talent. A future in which all citizens, faunas, and humans, enjoy equal opportunity.  A future in which no person is above the law, and no person fails to receive the protections of the law.”

“The first step in this is the idea that I have put before you. The ideals of a trial by a jury of your peers, and that all defendants are innocent until proven guilty.”

I won’t lie to you on this, these ideas are radical,” he stressed, making sure to get across the trepidation that even he felt at moving so far so fast.

“but these are the first steps, and every individual citizen has a role to play in upholding the rule of law.”

“Expect more from your elected officials, the establishment of democracy in Vale was a gift from the last king.” “Expect politicians, police, prosecutors, and judges to meet their responsibilities of providing justice fairly, equally, and with honor.”

“Engage in formal legal processes, even if it takes more time and effort. Invest in justice institutions and hold them accountable to ensure that they live up to the ideals enshrined in the bedrock of your rich and multi-ethnic society.”

“Finally, expect more from your fellow citizens in building a just society.”

“I thank you for your attention and look forward to a frank and open discussion of these issues. If you’ll allow me to, I’d like to close with one more statement that I hope will stick with you.”

This was it, the final blow

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny.”

 Jaune bowed as rapturous applause moved through the auditorium he’d borrowed from signal, due to the government building of patch being too small for his conference. But as Jaune flashed a brilliant smile to the cameras and waved to the crowds before him, he couldn’t help but wonder what Yang and Ruby had thought of his speech.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“you know I figured you'd be more impressive up close" said a voice from within the hallways of signal, the steady rhythm of her heals signaling her approach

jaune raised an eyebrow at the declaration "while I do hate to disappoint a lady, I'm not sure what you're talking about" he said with a small smirk as he turned to look at none other than weiss schnee.

"you," she said standing a little straiter "there's been much talk about you, how you're an up in comer but all I see is a man spread thin, you have the start of a business, you have the start of an army, you're a powerful combatant I'll grant you. definitely the best of our generation. but that's it. I find myself..." she trailed off for a moment "wanting more"

jaune chucked "well, that's the business we're in I suppose but I think you've made a pretty large mistake on where my capabilities lie." he leaned back against the wall relaxing as he saw the Schnee grill raise her eyebrows

"and just what abilities am I overlooking?" she asked in a huff

"I'm very good at making friends"

a scoff was her response "you think that will make a difference? having friends? you're a child"

jaune smiled "no, I'm a realist. recent events have stressed that I have no real ability to do everything myself. I can hardly protect the people close to me as is. so I need more power. the best way to do that is to make friends. not just for political power, or economic power, but for personal power. for peace of mind. I have been... arrogant, I'll admit. I thought myself an island untouchable by all around me due to my power.” “but the loss of a friend has shown that I am still only a man." jaune stood to his full height "miss schnee I hope you understand what I'm saying. perhaps I am above others, they have made it apparent that they want me to be there, but I have long since moved past the childish ideals of doing everything on my own. Do you want to know why the world has been watching me? it's because when I listen to others. while your father has traded the respect and good name of your family and company for the short term gain of lein, I have garnered a reputation. it alone is not enough but I do have plans,"  he let loose a little further with his aura, reveling in the power he had over others "when I speak people listen, that is far more than a spoiled child like you can say"

there was a long silence before jaune turned away walking past the watching girl

from over his shoulder jaune called out "if you're interested, you may tag along. I can only imagine you'd learn far more from me than from your petty dictator of a father"

he didn't need to look back to know Weiss was angry, but that was a victory too. 

she'd be thinking about him all month.

next chapter we go to beacon for real, i’ve already got it written up.

[infcstissumam]

Seeing as I’ve recently become active again, I thought I should post an update to my rules and guidelines!

💀 INFCSTISSUMAM GUIDELINES (CIRCA. 2021) :

General Rules for Interacting

THIS BLOG IS 18+, not because I’m trying to discriminate but simply because THERE IS A LOT OF NSFW CONTENT POSTED HERE. 

It is all tagged, with the tags: // NSFW or NSFW //

I go by SHE/HER pronouns and would prefer you address me with them, though I am fine with THEY/THEM & HE/HIM pronouns. 

I am very forgetful, so never be afraid to pop in and ask about your request, once or twice will do the job, because tumblr is an awful website and sometimes messages will be eaten/fail to deliver.

I would love to be your friend, no joke. I know some people run accounts that are very strict and ‘no getting off topic’ but I don’t run my account like that, I love to hear from anons and mutuals. Tell me about your day & pets! 

If you want to communicate through anons instead of by account, please sign your asks with a symbol so I know who you are! For instance ‘- 🐦 ‘ or ‘- bird anon’ would work wonders!

Please keep in mind that I’m an ameteur. This is my hobby, I don’t charge for a reason and that reason is that I’m not very good at this, so please, cut me a little slack. I encourage constructive criticism but just telling me to kys and to give up writing isn’t appreciated. 

Please don’t be gross - I have no doubts you’re all lovely people, but unprompted nudes and suggestive asks (outside of requests) are never appreciated. Please talk to me like I’m your friend, not an object or spouse. 

No homophobia, no racism and no ableism. You’d think it’d be common sense but I’ve noticed some, well, unsavory people have joined the fandom through the metal scene and I want to make it very clear that we don’t do that here!

NO MEANS NO, I as the only writer and admin on this blog reserve the right to deny service. Please respect this, Failure to do so by means of incessant badgering, insulting, etc. will result in a block. (which I really don’t want to have to do!)

That’s it for rules though! It’s really basic! Don’t be mean, don’t worry about bothering me and don’t misgender me, just come in and have fun! I promise you I’m more afraid of you than the other way around. 

Things I write:

Reader x Ghost character and characters from ghost lore, including non frontmen and band ghouls, such as Sister Imperator, Nihil, Special Ghoul, etc. 

Individual matchups for characters based on a description of the sender, 

for instance ‘Hi, can I get a ghoul relationship matchup? I go by she/her, I’m bi, leaning towards male, and a Taurus. I think I’m a good listener and I can start conversations easily, however, I am also really stubborn and impulsive. I am, though shy towards other people but when it comes to my closest friends, I’m one of the loudest in the group! I also really like to bake, skateboard and play different music instruments. I want my partner to give great advice to me, but they would also like to have fun and let loose. Thanks! <3′

Content for Selfships & OCs (though for the latter I’ll need a description of the oc in question and the ship)

Headcanons and small drabbles about any of the above characters or scenarios!

Both NSFW and SFW content

Most ‘tame’ kinks, I write for daddy/mommy name calling, degradation, gangbangs, heat/rut cycles, knotting, bondage, pet play, consensual somnophillia, etc. etc. The kind of extreme but not really, in addition to, of course, vanilla smut! 

Things I won’t write:

General squicks, including bathroom play, gore, incest, vore, ddlg/ddlb, ageplay, MASSIVE age gaps (including Papa I and, like, an 18yr old reader) THE WHOLE SHEBANG, it’s all a no from me dawg!

Pedophillia

Race, gender, sexuality, etc degradation kinks. I know some people get off on it, but it’s too familiar to racism, sexism/misogyny & homophobia for my tastes.