#you haven't spoken to him in like 4 years at this point

[matryosika]

Three Times Again

Pairing — Hyunjin & Reader Wordcount — 6,171 words Includes — Fem!reader, mentions of alcohol consumption, smut (warnings under the cut). Author's Note — Finished college, graduated with a psychology degree and a 98.8/100 general score, I now have a serious, serious job and I haven't written anything in eight or nine months so this is the best I can do at this point. This might be a bit rusty but honestly I'm happy I was able to write something for the first time in so long. Don't think I forgot about you folks, I never will! Hope you didn't forget about me either.

Smut Warnings — Virgin AND inexperienced reader paired with somewhat experienced male character, best friends trope. Use of petnames, praise and worship if you squint, very very delicate smut if i'm being honest. Fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), nipple play, lots of making out and kisses, protected sex, mentions and use of condom, piv.

It was bound to happen.

Hyunjin knew it. You knew it. All of your friends knew it. 

Rather sooner than later, it was just bound to happen. 

The four walls on his bedroom and the remnants of the incense smoke are lively witnesses of the tension unraveling —a tension that lasted enough for the two of you, and that is now slowly causing havoc with each of your heartbeats.

It all started with a simple, pointless "truth or dare" kind of game, you and your friend's very own rendition: truth or shot. You asked each other's questions, and you could choose between replying or chugging down a shot of liquid courage. No room for those "lick the floor" or "text your ex" shenanigans. 

Of course the catch was that after 3 or 4 rounds, your headspace wasn't as sober as initially. And after a series of shots, one would eventually start spitting out just truths that cannot be spoken after the sun rises.

“Don’t think about it,” Hyunjin begs in between kisses, dragging his swollen lips  along your shoulders and neck. His hands are roaming underneath your clothes, getting familiar with your body while feeling your warmth. “Please, don’t think about it”. 

You can't. And you try not to. 

At least not when the sensations of his wet lips teasing your skin becomes too much to handle in a span of minutes, or when the ghost trailing of his fingertips against your flesh is making you turn desperate for him.

But it is difficult.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you whisper, the logical, still functioning part of your brain tries to protest. Despite how aroused you are, and despite how receptive your body is to that of Hyunjin's. “We’re- you’re my best friend Hyunjin”. 

“And you’re mine,” he hums against your skin, only lifting his gaze when you bury your fingers a bit too harshly onto his dark hair locks, “is that so wrong?”

His words get underneath your skin in ways that they shouldn't, and you start kissing your rationality goodbye as Hyunjin nibbles softly at the flesh where your shoulders and neck connect.

“You’re- we are going to regret this,” you exhale, ironically locking your arms around his neck. Your words are only saying much, but your body is risking it all to let him know that you want this just as much as he does. “What if- you wake up tomorrow and think this was a mistake?”

The dark-haired lets out a quiet groan, filled with both amusement and despair. “How can this be a mistake?” he asks, moving one of his hands from your hips to your thighs, sneaking it between your shorts and your underwear, “how can it be a mistake when I've waited years to have you like this, all for me?”. 

You arch your back against the palm of his hand. 

“Hyunjin,” you exhale his name once again, but you're not quite sure what for. It could be a plea, or the beginning of a sentence you can't begin to articulate in a situation like this. It could also be the familiarity of the word falling from your lips in between moans —you would be such a filthy liar if you were to deny having touched yourself while thinking about your friend before. 

Either way, Hyunjin never really thought of his name that much until now, that he's hearing you moaning it. 

“Yeah?” he asks with a weak hum, getting lost in the way you smell, “talk to me”. 

“F-fuck,” you murmur weakly, the stinging feeling of tears pricking on the corners of your eyes.  You’re about to cry, but you don't know why. Blame it on the alcohol, the sudden release of that secret you've kept years locked inside of you, or the overwhelming sensation Hyunjin’s skin is, “promise me something-”. 

Your friend is all too busy engraving every single inch of your skin into his brain. Every freckle, mole and stretch mark, he needs to memorize your flesh like it's a map. He wants to remember how it looks underneath the dim light of his room, proof that this all happened and it's not just another wet dream of his.

“Anything,” he says, with such a raspy voice it's vibrations travel from the skin spilling out from your bra up until your throbbing center, “ask me anything”. 

You gather all your courage within you to lift your upper body from the mattress, resting your weight on your forearms and causing Hyunjin to take a slight step back from you.

“Promise me this isn't going to change a thing in our friendship,” you murmur, your chest moving up and down almost frantically. Hyunjin's dark eyes are all over yours, with a subtle furrow in his brows that just tells you he's still trying to get a hold on everything that's happening. “Promise me, Hyunjin”. 

You're honestly asking for a lot. How can he promise such a thing, when he is already missing the warmth of your skin? How can he pretend nothing is going to change, when tomorrow he will wake up with the ghostly feeling of your pussy around his dick?

Hyunjin will say yes. Hyunjin will say that he promises you something he knows he is not going to fulfill. And honestly, he can play pretend. You're not going to be able to tell, and he is not going to say it. 

But Hyunjin knows everything is going to change the minute he gets to feel your lips on his again. He knows nothing will ever be the same once he bottoms out inside you, hearing you moaning and gasping while he fucks you however you ask him to.

“I promise,” he swallows the lie thickly, staring at you between furrowed eyebrows. “I fucking promise just- please let me have you, please”. 

You're staring at each other with hitched breath, rapid heartbeats and an insane amount of uncertainty neither of you can sort out. 

“Please let me taste you,” Hyunjin plants a chaste kiss right above your hip bone.

And then another. 

And another.

And another.

“Please,” he begs again, humming your name. “Let me make you feel real good”. 

You close your eyes in defeat, getting immersed in the way his hot lips feel against your tummy. He is kissing, and licking, and nibbling at your flesh, it's practically impossible not to give in when all that's left is your word consenting to it.

“Please,” Hyunjin insists, the tip of his fingers grazing against the hems of your skirt and underwear. “Say you want this just as much as I do”. 

You whine, kicking your head back.

“Say it,” he repeats, whispering your name. “I need to hear it from you. I need to know that you want me like I want you”. 

“I want this,” you finally confess. “I want this- fuck, I want you, Hyunjin”. 

The words leave your lips with a shakily breath, and you think it might be the release of it all.

His lips crash into yours once again, and you realize how much you missed his taste despite having kissed him just minutes ago. Hyunjin's saliva tastes like plum soju, mint and your strawberry gloss, and your heart skips a beat at the realization that this is real, that this is happening —your taste and essence lingers in Hyunjin's mouth, and there's no turning back now. 

The closer your bodies are, the more your fragrances mix. You can't tell his smell apart from yours, and he can't tell either —your hands smell like his lotion, and his shirt smells like your perfume.

Your mind spirals into all the sensations he is providing you with, that is until his hands sneak underneath your blouse and you get to feel his hot flesh against the sides of your body.

Then, your mind goes blank.

Your blood boils, you feel the heat rising to your chest, cheeks and ears. You feel exposed, in a way, but you're sure things aren't going to end there.

Hyunjin has seen nothing of you just yet.

"Can I take this off?" His hands are still attached to your waist underneath your clothes, and as far as you're concerned he could be talking about your shirt or your bra. You want those two off anyways, so you nod and agree to whatever he is thinking.

Things unfold in slow motion to your eyes, but everything is happening pretty fast, actually. In the blink of an eye your blouse is scattered around his bedroom floor, and it doesn't take too long before his t-shirt is joining yours there, too. 

Between all the kisses and pettings, you feel the loss of his warmth when he takes a step back. Then, you feel really exposed.

Apart from your heavy breaths and fast heartbeats, the room is completely quiet. So quiet it scares you, so you break the silence with a muffled "what?".

Hyunjin's straight eyebrows furrow just slightly, and he parts his lips to say something yet nothing comes out of them. Nothing but a deep, trembling exhale; it sounds like the equivalent to being able to finally breath after being underwater for so long.

“What, Hyunjin?” You repeat with a stern voice, fearing he might've started to regret the whole thing. He is unreadable —as far as you're concerned, he could be having second thoughts about this stupid idea. You wouldn't blame it for it.

But when he drops to his knees in front of you, and his hands find the waistband of your skirt, you get the sense that he might not be regretting any of this at all.

“So pretty,” he mutters, with rounded eyebrows like crescent moons and big, open eyes as he stares up at you, “you’re so, so pretty”. 

The compliment takes your breath away, and the skin on your nape and back short-circuits as if an explosion of electricity it’s taking place underneath your flesh.

"You really think so?" You're not quite sure what prompts you to ask such a question, but you figure you should let yourself get loose. The last thing you want for tonight is to hold back, because that isn't the idea.

You're doing this with Hyunjin for a reason, and said reason is because you trust him.

Without holding back, without overthinking, without hesitating. There will be plenty of time to reflect on whatever happens tonight, but right now isn't the time.

At least not when Hyunjin is kneeling in front of you, holding so much adoration in his eyes you swear you finally feel those butterflies people keep talking about.

“I know so,” he reiterates, “just look at you”. 

Your eyes fall to where his hands meet with your skirt, and this time he asks for consent with just his gaze. You nod and swallow thickly, watching as his fingers expertly dance along the hems of your skirt.

You want to shy away, to cover yourself and evaporate into thin air —at the same time, Hyunjin wants to look at you. You want him to be the first one to see you naked, to touch parts of your body nobody has before. You want to see his expression, to wonder what he will do when the realization of having you in his bed finally sinks in.

Because up until now, everything feels like a fever dream to him.

You stand in front of the edge of his bed, and watch as he undresses you. His hands trace the path of the skirt, from your thighs to your calves, and only looks up when it reaches your ankles, signaling for you to step out of it.

The color and fabric of your panties match those of the bra, and for a split second Hyunjin feels played. 

Did you plan it? Have you been thinking about this as much as he has?

It could be a coincidence, but it isn't —at some point throughout the night, you and Hyunjin were bound to happen. And you both knew it.

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, standing up from the floor right in front of you. His eyes are all over your face, his hands are shy and you get the feeling that he might kiss you, but all he does is press his lips against yours and murmurs, “you make me feel so- fuck, I don’t even know”. 

You appreciate Hyunjin's sincerity, because honestly you don't know either. All you know is the adrenaline running through your veins, and the palpitations you feel underneath your left rib cage and between your thighs.

All you know is that you want Hyunjin to fuck you. Whether it's painful, or not. Whether you get to feel some pleasure, or not. All you want is for him to be your first, to be the one you experience sex for the first time like everyone around you already has.

It's actually more complicated than that, than just experiencing, but you don't dwell on it for long.

“Don’t think about it too much,” you suggest, just as fazed as he is. “Don’t think about anything just- do whatever you want”.

Hyunjin is unsure of what he is doing, judged by the hesitation behind his movements. He holds you by the small of your back and presses you tightly against his body, so close the tip of your noses are grazing against each other.

“Stop me if I hurt you,” he whispers with shortness of breath, “alright?”

You nod and swallow thickly, “okay”. 

Inevitably, Hyunjin feels a pressure over his shoulders. He knows it is your first time. 

You deserve something memorable, something that it's all about you. 

Sure, his dick is hard and throbbing, and he swears he is one second away from exploding inside his pants, but he is willing to leave his pleasure aside for yours.

He'd have other opportunities to get his dick wet and other chances to experiment. Right now it should be all about you, about making you feel good.

And under that thought, he kisses you again. 

Soft and slowly, dragging the tip of his fingers along the middle of your back. His tongue brushes against yours and you completely forget about the concept of oxygen.

It doesn't matter now that Hyunjin's breath is everything you need to respire.

His fingers keep lingering in the hooks of your bra, and it surprises you how he is able to get it off of you on his own.

"No man ever gets it right the first time," your best friend had told you amidst laughter. But Hyunjin just did in his first try. He is just naturally good at everything he does; excelling at random tasks, always getting things perfectly from the very start.

You hardly think about how naked you're in comparison to him, because he presses his chest to yours and your breasts become squeezed by his golden skin. You feel your nipples hardening against him, and you’re fully aware he can feel them too.

Fuck, he can feel them. And his cock gets even harder by that alone. 

“Let me see you,” Hyunjin whispers under his breath, but you wrap your arms around his neck, preventing him from taking a step back from you. You shake your head, feeling abruptly overwhelmed by his embrace, as well as the cold air hitting your skin.

“No one has ever seen me naked,” you say.

He knows.

“I want to see you, if you let me,” he swallows thickly, brushing his nose against yours. “Please, let me see you”.

Hyunjin feels your arms releasing some strength, falling limp over his shoulders, and he takes that as an opportunity to walk back just enough to see you.

All of you.

Everything he shouldn't fantasize about, but he does. 

“God,” he exhales with a strangled breath, doing everything he possibly can to remain collected.

But it's irrational, and impossible. How can he remain calm when you're standing naked in front of him? Your skin is covered in goosebumps, your nipples are hard and the dark, wet patch on your cotton underwear just tells him that your body needs something only he can give you. How can he be calm throughout any of this?

He can’t, and he is finally coming to terms with it.

“It’s not fair,” you murmur, slyly crossing your arms over your chest, “I’m practically naked, and you still have your pants on”. 

Hyunjin listens, but decides to ignore you. Instead, his hands find your crossed arms and he motions for you to drop them, pressing his lips against yours to kiss you one more time.

He swears he might never get tired of kissing you, ever.

“Lay down,” he presses desperate, short kisses against your lips, and you follow his guidance until your back meets the softness of the comforter.

His hands hold the sides of your body, only to drag the last piece of clothing off from your body. And it happens all too fast, that you don't even have time to shy away. Hyunjin lays down between your spread legs, with his hands and arms hooked underneath your thighs, half-lidded eyes looking right at yours.

“Remember,” Hyunjin warns, and the feeling of his warm breath against your core feels too weird and unfamiliar, you mean to close your legs around him but he doesn't allow you to, “tell me if I hurt you”. 

Your heart would have exploded inside your chest at the sight, but it doesn't until Hyunjin's tongue meets your pussy for the first time. Then, you feel your heartbeats ringing loudly in your ears.

“Shit,” you curse under your breath, holding up your weight with your forearms.

“You’re dripping wet,” he murmurs, nose brushing against your clit while his tongue collects all your arousal, “you must have been wanting this for so long”.

You writhe under his hold, feeling weakened by his words. Your chest feels heavy, and there's a tension on your lower back that prompts you to grind your hips against his face, practically begging for him to do something.

And he does —the tip of his digits slide against your folds, exploring you. He focuses his tongue on your clit, and by that alone you swear you're seeing stars. You thought the stimulation would pretty much feel like your fingers or toys, but it's nothing close to that. It feels foreign, out of your control, and you like that.

“How do you touch yourself?” Hyunjin asks with a deep voice you swear you can't recognize. 

Instead of replying, you guide one of your hands to his, that is already wet and sticky, and take two of his fingers, “put them inside”. 

He follows your orders, sinking his index and middle finger with such an ease it surprises both of you. Normally, it would take you a while to get wet on your own —right now, it seems that your body is reacting to Hyunjin much faster than you expected.

“So fucking warm,” the mutter is more to himself than to you, but you still catch it. And for some reason, the sound of his voice makes you clench harder around his fingers, “and so tight”. 

“Don’t say that,” you kick your head back, closing your eyes shut.

“I know you like it,” he says, a small smile creeping through the corners of his lips, “I can feel it”. 

There it is, again. Your walls flutter around his fingers, squeezing them softly at every word he says.

“You like it when I tell you how wet you are?” Hyunjin’s voice is gradually lower now, and his choice of words has the desired effect on you, “don’t lie, I can feel you getting tighter”. 

This may be better than any lie detector the world has come to know. Discovered by none other than Hyunjin, right before any other guy all over you could.

“Shit,” you curse under your breath, your fingers instinctively latching to his black hair. You don't mean to pull it, but you find yourself using it as leverage, and Hyunjin finds himself groaning at it, “seems like I've discovered something about you too”.

He smiles and presses his lips and nose further against you, pretending to know every single inch of your core with his tongue. It's the first time he has you like this, and he isn't quite sure if he is doing alright —a couple of soft whimpers and quiet, strangled moans are falling from your lips, but that isn’t enough for Hyunjin.

"What else do you do?" He asks, and the question comes out more as a whimper than a casual, nonchalant voice. He is clearly affected by all of this, and you can tell by his hips rut against his bed as he touches you. “When you touch yourself, what else do you do?” 

One of your hands leaves his dark hair, and guide to your breasts. It always goes a little bit like that —your dominant hand maneuvers the toy against your clit, and your other hand focuses on your breasts and nipples, pinching and twisting them as you like.

Fuck, well, that's going to be a sight imprinted in Hyunjin's mind forever. The way your back arches as soon as your fingers tease your nipples, the way your chest elevates with a deep inhale. The way your hips buck against Hyunjin's touch, and how your toes curl just slightly at the stimulation.

He soon focuses again on his task, pumping two of his fingers inside you while his tongue takes care of your clit that has become more swollen than initially. 

He is doing anything he can to get to know you, to see how his touch is affecting you. And when his middle finger touches a spot inside your walls that he hadn't before, and you let out a guttural moan of his name, Hyunjin stops short.

“Did I-” 

He must think he hurt you. But it's all quite the opposite. 

“Right there,” you shake your head frantically, acquiring strength from, practically, nowhere to push your body up in your forearms again, “shit, again, do it again”.

And he complies. His middle finger curls, and the reaction he gets is the same, if not more pronounced, from you.

“You’re fucking dripping,” repeatedly, he manages to find a pace of his own. His fingers move slowly and deliciously inside of you, almost always touching that spot that has you moaning louder than before. That, added with the suck of his mouth around your clit, sends you to cloud 9.

You've never felt this before, on your own, and it scares you.

It feels more intense, and slightly painful. Your lower back hurts, you're sweating and you fear you might pee. 

It definitely feels as if you're going to pee.

“Hyunjin!” You gasp, your hands pushing him away, “I feel- ‘m gonna make a mess”. 

His heart is beating loud in his ears, and he feels the pressure of your thighs squeezing his face. The quick thought that he might be hurting you flies across Hyunjin's mind, but is quickly discarded when your hips move in sensual circles against him.

You must be close.

“Wait!” You gasp, and Hyunjin withdraws from between your legs, but his fingers continue fucking your pussy with an increased pace, “G-god, fuck, I’m-”.

You’re babbling, not making any sense. And Hyunjin feels his dick leaking precum, sticking to his underwear. Never in all his years of life had he been this hard, and it's hurting him to no end. At the same time, it feels deliciously torturing. 

He just fears he might come untouched.

“Close?” Hyunjin asks, and you just nod frantically. 

As if an expert, his palm hits your clit every time he bottoms his fingers out inside of you. A part of him tells him he should position himself back between your legs and make you come with his mouth and fingers; the other, however, urges him to crawl up, between kneeling and lying next to you, as his available hand guides your chin to him.

The sight is even better like this, Hyunjin thinks —your teary eyes and the hair sticking to your forehead and cheeks with sweat is something he might never be able to forget.

The way you're staring at him like you're scared, and confused, and oh so aroused. He is the reason behind your body shaking and your hands gripping the bed sheets underneath you; the reason behind your cries and whimpers, and the wetness between your legs.

All because of him.

"I think I'm coming," you manage to spit out in a strangled breath, and soon after lose complete control over your body.

Your back arches against his bed, your legs close around his wrist, and your body threatens to push him away. But Hyunjin doesn't let you —he embraces you, holding you in place as you ride your high. 

“There you go,” he murmurs, with a soft smile creeping through the corners of his lips.

Your trembling hand wraps around his bicep, and you can barely open your eyes without tearing up. Whatever just happened, you haven't experienced it before.

“Hyunjin,” you whimper yet again, feeling how your walls clench over and over around his fingers. It tired you, both mentally and physically —your toes feel funny from clenching them much, your legs are sore from being spread open for a while now, and your hips feel tired from all the tension that suddenly snapped minutes ago, “holy fuck, Hyunjin”. 

“I’m right here,” he tells you while leaving a quick kiss on your lips.

And then another.

And another.

And another, until it turns into a proper kiss, one that isn’t nearly as sloppy or fast as the ones he offered you before. This time, Hyunjin kisses you slowly, carefully, almost as if he is trying to soothe all that tension with his lips.

You place your hands on either side of his face, and he does the same —with ease, he manages to position himself on top of you, with so much care not to put all his weight on top. Hyunjin only breaks the kiss to look at you, and the way your lips form a subtle "o" when you feel his erection pressed against your lower abdomen is enough for him to run out of breath.

“We don’t have to- I mean, we don’t have to do it tonight,” Hyunjin murmurs, his lips barely touching yours. “We can stop right here, I’m okay with-” 

“Let’s do it,” you notice how he swallowed thickly and how his bright eyes resembling a deer caught in the headlights stare at you with just the same amount of fear and lust. 

To be your first; to mess around together, to experience what sex is all about.

You want this, and he wants this just as much. There's trust, and there is a promise —nothing can go wrong because that's exactly why you're doing it with each other.

Because there's no one else in this world you trust more than Hyunjin.

“Okay,” he exhales, backing away from your body to fully undress himself. And although it's not prohibited to look, you feel insanely awkward when your eyes meet his figure.

Hyunjin doesn't show much skin, not even during the summer days when you visited the beach or his parent's lake house. Seeing him shirtless was already much of a shock, but seeing him fully naked? That is a whole other story.

You feel your cheeks blushing and you need to look away before Hyunjin catches you staring, but it is already too late. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, forcing yourself to keep contact with his eyes rather somewhere else.

Hyunjin licks his lips, and he does so in such a swift movement that it barely registers in your mind. But it does, and you can't stop thinking how attractive he is, and how awfully aroused he is making you feel. It's like your body has a mind of its own, one that's completely enticed by him.

“C’me here,” he kneels in the bed again, hovering your body. His erection pressed against your lower abdomen once again, and you let out an unexpected, almost embarrassing moan just by that alone.

He is hard, and his dick feels warm. You can't help but sneak a hand between your bodies and wrap it around him, making him curse under his breath.

It's the first time you see (in real life, anyway) and touch a dick; you're not sure what you were expecting, but the feeling of it isn't bad. However, it isn’t as nice as the sight of Hyunjin's eyes closed shut, and his bottom lip caught between his lips.

“If you touch me again, I'm going to come,” he warns you.

“And isn’t that what you want?” You ask, stroking him softly. You’re barely discovering how to touch him, but there’s something pleasant about the way you’re exploring him.

“Not before fucking you,” Hyunjin tells you, “I have to make you feel good again”.

He straightens his body slightly and puts a condom on. It is tight around the base, and too slippery for his own liking, but he can't complain about it when you're patiently waiting for him. 

Your eyes never abandon his figure, and just the sight of him unwrapping a fucking condom and putting it on is more than enough to make you clench around thin air. And you're too lost in that thought, of how strikingly beautiful Hyunjin looks tonight, that you don't feel any sort of panic until the tip of his dick slides against your slit.

This is really happening, you think to yourself, and suddenly all the oxygen from the room has vanished, leaving you with a heavy chest and an awful sensation that you're choking.

“You okay?” He asks when he catches a glimpse of your furrowed eyebrows.

“Just nervous,” your eyes dart between his face and the parts of your bodies where you almost meet. You've heard awful stories about first times, involving a lot of pain and discomfort; why would yours be any different than those?

You feel your heart beating in anticipation, and your throat gets dry.

“I'm not going to hurt you,” Hyunjin says, leaning down to kiss you, “I’ll be careful”. 

You nod, because you know he is telling the truth. So you brace yourself by holding his biceps, watching as he guides his dick inside of you.

“Inhale,” he tells you, and you follow. Your lungs get filled with fresh air until they hurt, until you no longer can harbor any more oxygen.

And only then, the tip of it slides right in easily, with just the tiniest bit of discomfort —your fingers and toys are not close to the size he is.

“Fuck”. 

“Let it all out,” and you exhale deeply, relaxing underneath him as he finally bottoms out. He stays there, without moving, feeling how your walls adapt to his girth. Hyunjin kisses your cheek, and snuggles his face in the crook of your neck to leave a couple of them there, too, “good job”. 

You whimper, wrapping your arms around his neck just as your legs wrap around his hips.

His weight on top of you feels nice, just as it does having him inside of you. But you're desperate to know how he really feels, so you prompt him to move.

“I’ll go slow,” and he sticks to his word. His thrusts are slow, but deep —every time he bottoms out, you moan.

You're just getting used to him, so the way he is fucking you is more than enough for now. And it is enough for him, too —if he goes any faster, he is sure he will come.

But he maintains a certain pace, and your bodies get to meet each other in a way they hadn't before. 

“Does it feel good?” You ask him in a murmur, and he hums in response.

“So good,” his eyes never leave yours. “You feel so good, your pussy feels so good”.

You bite your lips, wanting to hold back whatever reaction his words elicit from you. 

There's something lewd about his voice, and the way he says things tonight. There's something lewd in the way you like it, too.

“You feel good too,” you compliment him, caressing the sides of his face. “Want to come again, with you”. 

Hyunjin nods, as if you’re giving him an order for him to follow. But you might as well have, because he takes it upon himself to give you what you want. One of his hands sneak between your sweaty bodies, and albeit difficult, he manages to position the tip of his fingers over your clit, rubbing it at the same pace as his thrusts.

“Oh my God,” you whisper, closing your eyes shut when you feel a pinch of pain from the overstimulation. 

It's crazy how many things Hyunjin has learned about you in the past hour.

“Does it feel good when I touch you like this?” He manages to ask, and you nod frantically.

His hand then withdraws from your clit, and when you're about to protest, you notice his mouth is leaning closer to your chest, “what-”. 

He then latches his tongue around one of your hardened nipples, and you become a mess of whimpers underneath him.

“And this?” Hyunjin asks with his lips attached to the flesh of your breast, “does it feel good when I do this?”

You might as well have figured something about you.

“It feels so good, Hyunjin,” you chant, with teary eyes that threaten to start bawling in ecstasy, “so good, fuck, so good”.

He continues, sucking on your nipple while his fingers tease the other. And you really seem to like it because you can't stop moaning, because all your hands do is to force him even more against your chest. 

“Squeezing me so good,” Hyunjin mutters under his breath, losing control of himself as he feels you clenching around him. He's drooling over your breasts, swollen and pink lips dragging across your flesh while his hips start spasming, “God, you’re so fucking tight”.

You sneak a hand between your bodies, and when your digits brush against your clit, you feel your body jolting, and the tension threatening to unravel. 

You're so close, again.

And you hope he is close too.

“I’m-” You don't manage to finish the sentence when Hyunjin's fingers replace yours, “Hyunjin!”

You mean to keep your eyes open, to look at him in between, but you finally give up to the overwhelming pleasure. You close them shut, and all you're left with is the feeling of Hyunjin's body against yours, and the sounds you and him are eliciting from each other. 

“Close?” And you nod frantically, tightening your limbs around him —your arms around his neck, your legs around his lower back. 

You’ve hugged Hyunjin before, but nothing will ever compare to this; to your naked bodies pressing together, to his lips murmuring sweet nothings against yours. 

To share something as intimate as an orgasm can be.

“Coming,” you whisper weakly, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. And at the same time, Hyunjin lets out a painful, choked groan.

His throat hurt at it, but not nearly as much as the tension finally unraveling did. 

Not as much as the sight of your hazy eyes looking up at him as you both come down from your highs.

Not as much as the realization that it was all over.

“Hyunjin,” you whimper again, and your loud heartbeats, and the way you're still clenching around him is preventing him from listening to your voice. He sees your lips moving, but he is too far gone in the bliss of his orgasm to care.

“God,” you close your eyes shut and hide your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. 

You don’t want him to let go of you, to pull out. You want to stay like this for as long as you’re able to.

And Hyunjin wants it too, plopping all of his weight carefully on top of you. He presses a kiss to your temple, and then your forehead. Nothing in his life has ever felt this good before, and he fears he might not be able to live a moment like this again.

"Did I hurt you?" He just has to ask again, now that you're settled between his arms.

You shake your head subtly, and look up at him with so much gloss and sentiment he feels a pinch of hope you feel the same way he feels about you. 

"Not once," you exhale, offering the most beautiful smile Hyunjin has seen on you.

And when you press a quick peck to his lips and snuggle right next to him, with your head on his chest and your hand over his abdomen, 

he just knows it will happen again. 

And again.

And again.

And again.

Bonus note: If you liked this, PLEASE let me know. I'm kind of nervous putting this out there because I've been away for so long, I'm not even sure if this is any good. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. It is nice to connect with past hobbies to be honest.

Love you all! And take care!

[histskins]

sorry but it IS very funny when Naruto Shippuden is trying to build literally any romance for Sasuke + Sakura, and so they do flashbacks to meaningful moments between them...and it's the same like. Two. it's the same two scenes every fucking time. and they're not even particularly romantic scenes IMO. and then Naruto shows up and Sasuke's attention is immediately diverted and entirely on him and when they get Meaningful Moments flashbacks it's like a whole fucking movie which 60% of the time includes their silly little kiss. and they literally have a gay little shared mindscape to have these flashbacks in

[gguk-n]

Chapter 4- Heartbreak and Understanding

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen X Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Y/N decides to forgive Max. Max wins his home race. She meets Max's girlfriend who doesn't seem to like her very much. Did I tell you Y/N watched Max win his home race?

{Reader's POV}

Falling in love with your friend is a bad idea. Falling in love with your internet friend who has a girlfriend was an even worse idea. Falling in love with Max Emilian Verstappen was the worst idea. He's all over my screen after I searched him on every social media ever. I cannot escape him when I'm trying to get over him.

It's been a few months since the either of us have spoken to each other. After I asked for time, Max respected my wishes. After our call, I received a message from him saying that he would always be there for me no matter what and that he would like to clear up the misunderstanding one day. I knew I would talk to him, however I hoped that it would be when I was over him. Doesn't look like that's about to happen any time soon since this man is everywhere and anywhere I look.

Summer break was here, so I was having a girl's night with my friend Riley when I decided to ask for her opinion on this whole debacle. "Sooooo, Riley" I began. "You're about to unload some shit you did aren't you. Who fucked you up?" she interrupted me. "What?" I questioned. "I've known you for 6 years, I know you too well. Tell me who do I have to beat up." she said. I began to laugh. "No one" I said in between laughter. I wiped a tear away from the side of my eye, "I haven't laughed like this in a while." I muttered. "Go on, love" Riley prodded. "Yeah, so I have this internet friend, we've been friends since 2013. He's nice, kind, funny, handsome, blonde, blue eyes" I was talking when she cut me off; "exactly your type" I nodded along. "It's all nice and all. I didn't know what he did for a living. I recently found out that he is famous" I mumbled. She looked at me shocked. "Who?" was all she said. "Max Verstappen, Formula One driver for Redbull Racing" I said. "Damn, I mean he's like cute for a white boy. I think he's cool and shit for driving in fast cars, I appreciate him as an athlete for sure; as my bestie's potential love interest, questionable at best" she replied. "why, I mean I didn't say I was interested in him?" I asked defensively. "Bro, he is literally exactly your type, I've seen the men you date or hook up with, on the other hand, he has a girlfriend" she pointed out. "Ok, I know and you scare me sometimes" I lamented. "so, my real question is, I didn't know he was Max Verstappen. I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I was hurt when I found out and stopped talking to him, had a confrontation and then I said I need time before I am ready" I explained. "Understandable" she nodded along. "what do I do?" I asked. "what do you want to do?" she questioned back.

I love Max and I would like to be a part of his life even if it meant only as friends because I cherished the time we've had together. Also, I feel like I didn't let him explain himself the last time we spoke. I want to mend our ways. I would love to have him forever, even if only as a friend. "I want to still have him in my life even if it meant only as friends." I said cautiously. "Then there's your answer." she pointed out. "Talk to him, clear stuff out. If his explanation seems legit then continue to be friends." she suggested. "great idea. Thanks Riley" I said. "Don't mention it. Now can we un-pause the movie." she asked. "yes" I said while un-pausing the movie.

A few days after the heart to heart with Riley I texted Max. I knew he was supposed to be back next weekend for the race and was currently at home. I kind of confirmed that by watching his streams where he did SimRacing. I don't think I'll be telling this to anyone, honestly. He was on stream when my text went through, I saw him check his phone and ask to leave the stream early since he needed to do something; that something being to call me because within seconds my phone was ringing with the familiar name cropping up on the screen. I answered the call, Max staring back at me, a tentative smile played on his lips. He waited for me to start talking.

Y/N- Hi Max. Max- Hi Y/N, how've been? Y/N- Good, you? Max- Yeah, OK. Y/N- I'm sorry for lashing out the last time we spoke. Max- No, no, don't be sorry. I was at fault for hiding such important information from you. Can you ever forgive me? Y/N- Depends... Max- What do I have to do to get you to forgive me? Y/N- Why didn't you tell me? About everything; your girlfriend, your career? Max- I...When we started talking I just enjoyed being a regular teenager, where we talked about school and random stuff. I got to be Max the teenager not Max the youngest Formula One driver. I enjoyed the disconnect I got with you. I got to be myself and forget about racing for a minute. You made me feel like a regular guy. Y/N- I wish you had told me because when I found out about your championships, I felt like I missed out on celebrating such a huge and momentous occasion with you. That hurt. Max- I'm sorry for that. I didn't know how to tell you since it had been so long, I did want to tell you, I really did want to share my happiness with you; I just didn't know how to. You made me feel normal. Y/N- I'm glad I could be of some help. Max- You were of so much help. You calmed me down before many races and reading your messages or hearing your voice was like a comfortable constant. Thank you. Y/N- Fine, I get it some times famous people want to live regular lives, what about your girlfriend. Why didn't you tell me about her? Max- I....am not really sure. We started dating 2 years ago, it just happened. We'd known each other for a while. It just happened. Y/n- Hmmm....doesn't she mind that we talk so much? Max- No, she's chill about it. (He laughed awkwardly) Y/N- I hope we won't have anymore lies between us Max- No not at all. I cherish our friendship too much Y/N- me too. Max- This weekend is my home race. Y/N- I saw Max- You did? Y/N- I might like watching my best friend win... Max- That's great, then you can watch me win in person next week. Y/N- Sweetheart, Maxie, You might be a millionaire; your friend here is broke as fuck. I can't fly out so suddenly. Max- You don't have to worry about anything. I'll get you the tickets and stuff. Just say yes. Y/N- I mean, I would love to meet you in person.... Max- Then, that's final. You're coming to the Dutch GP next week. I'll pick you up at the airport. You should come early and leave a little later. I'll show you around. Max looked and sounded excited. Y/N- Ok (I couldn't help but laugh at his excitement)

As soon as I ended the call, I got plane tickets to the race. He said he would come pick me. I couldn't wait to meet him. I'm sure nothing bad will happen; from meeting my long time friend.

I thought maybe I should show Max some support and buy his merchandise or something; no one told me it was this expensive. I decided against it. The race was on the 27th; I was flying in on the 24th. The flight there was nerve wrecking. I've seen him although not in person. I got a text from Max telling me to go to a certain gate in the parking area where he would be waiting. I found him rather quickly; he had his hand sticking out of the car. I tapped on the window with a big smile plastered on my face. "Hi Maxie!" I greeted. "hey, schat. Get in, I don't wanna get caught." he said pointed at the door. "By who?" I quizzed. "I feel like you forgot what I did for a living and where we were." he chided. I laughed before walking to the opposite side and getting in.

Initially, things felt a little awkward but the atmosphere turned friendly quite quickly. We reached the hotel I would be staying at; Max had planned the entire week of my stay out. I was going to just rest today while Max attended to media stuff and then we would have dinner together tonight. He would take me along to the paddock for all the 3 days. And after the race weekend, he would take me to all his favourite place; my personal tour guide.

I crashed for the day after a shower and having food. I only woke up when Max called me to let him in. It took me a while to realise where I was. I apologised for not being ready to leave when that was the plan initially. Max didn't mind and offered to wait till I got dressed. He told me we were going somewhere fancy so I pulled out my black satin dress I kept for special occasions. This was a special occasion, right, I thought. Max was a lot more patient compared to all my exes who would start getting antsy; he even helped me decide on the jewellery and shoes I should pair with my outfit. Why are all the good men taken, God?

We had authentic dutch food in a fancy restaurant as a three course meal. I loved the Apple tart. I almost moaned as I placed a spoon of it in my mouth; "Max, this is so good" I groaned. Max smiled, "I'm happy you like it." "I love desserts Max, but this is almost up there with my favourites" I said with a mouth full of apple tart. "What are your favourites?" Max asked. "I love tres leches, tiramisu and cheese cakes" I mumbled. After finishing the food, we decided to walk around for a while; it was kind of dark and Max would probably not get recognised was the thought. "Thanks for the food. Maximilian" I said. He just nodded along. "It's an atrocious name Maxie, no offence but Emilian as a middle name; who ever named you, hates you" I said shaking my head. Max laughed it off; "I would've thought you were fucking with me, if you told me that was your middle name" I said patting his back. "I'm sorry" he said. "Don't apologise for your name, you had no control" I said now facing him. "No, I mean I'm sorry for lying and hiding things from you. I never felt good doing that. I wish I had told you sooner. I wish you had found out about it through me." he said regretfully. "It's ok Max, the past is in the past. I hope we'll be more honest in this friendship" I said enveloping him in a hug for the first time. His head found it's way in the crook of my neck, a woody scent wafted into my nose while Max clutched on to my waist. I felt warm tears drip down my shoulder. "Max, are you crying?" I asked, trying to pull away. He tightened the grip on my waist and buried his head deeper, if it was possible, "No" he replied, making my skin on the shoulder vibrate. "It's ok Maxie, let it all out. I'm always there for you." I said patting his back to console him. "I thought I lost you, I thought you'd never speak to me again, I thought you hated me." he muttered softly. "I could never hate you, I might've been angry but I knew I didn't want to lose you either. You are a very important friend to me" I said. "I don't ever want to lose you" he said, finally deciding to look at me with his tear streaked face. I wiped away the tears. "Me neither, now let's go, you have a race tomorrow" I said pulling him along.

The conversation kept me up at night. It was giving me mixed signals. I didn't know what to make of it. He has a girlfriend, granted I haven't met her yet. There was desperation in Max's eyes and his words. They felt heavy and part of me wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with this. Was I thinking too much into it? What was Max's deal?

I got to meet Max's girlfriend the next day. She didn't seem too pleased with me; I mean I don't think anyone could welcome a random women your boyfriend said was his childhood friend suddenly. I didn't hold it against her. I got to meet Max's teammate and the other drivers. All of them were very kind and welcoming. I got to learn a lot about Max while I waited for him to get done with interviews after free practise. I was talking to Lando while he waited his turn after Max. Max returned which made Lando leave. "You didn't tell me you had such cute friends. I would've asked you you set me up with him sooner" I said while we walked back to Redbull. "No" he stated. "You're patronising with the enemy" he continued. "Your enemy, my future boyfriend." I joked. "He's not your type" Max interjected. "And you know what my type is?" I asked. Before he could say anything, his girlfriend whisked him away.

I ended up talking to Checo who was surprised to know me and Max had been friends for so long. Almost everyone in the garage was shocked about our friendship. Checo told me it's because Max had never told them about me. Max and his girlfriend came back who looked visibly annoyed; I tried asking Max what was up but he brushed me off. I spent the rest of the day being dragged around by Max who couldn't stop talking about anything and everything.

I spent Saturday with a lot of the mechanics and engineers who had so much good stuff to talk about. It would probably help me in editing that author. She was almost done with the book; but a few more additions won't hurt. Max qualified pole, he was so excited. He dropped me back at my room when I told him he should rest up before the race when he offered to watch a movie with me. He couldn't care less, he promised to win the race for me even with a little sleep. We ended up watching some movie. His girlfriend's annoyed face was etched in my brain through out the movie, so I decided to ask him about that. "Max, I'm sure your girlfriend minds you spending so much time with me" I suggested. "No, I told her I'm meeting you for the first time. She shouldn't care." he said. "I'm sure she does, she doesn't look very happy to me" I commented. "Don't think about it too much" Max said handing me the can of cold drink. I wasn't very satisfied, but there's only so much I could do.

The race was crazy, it got my heart beating really fast watching all of them zip past at such a high speed. Max did so well, he finished the race in P1 just like how he started it. Everyone rejoiced and headed to where Max was. GP took me with him. Max got out of the car and took his helmet off, his eyes were scanning the area. As soon as our eyes met he strode towards me. His girlfriend was a couple of steps away, before I knew it Max hugged me. "I won, just like I told you I would" he whispered. "Congratulations Max." I said while turning my head towards his girlfriend who looked visibly annoyed and quickly turned on her heels and left. "You shouldn't have done that" I told Max while pulling away. "Done what?" he questioned. "You should've gone to your girlfriend after winning your home race." I said. "She's here for so many of my races, you're not" he stated. I face palmed myself, "Doesn't matter Max, she probably hates me" I said. Max just shrugged his shoulders and went to get weighed.

After all the formality and interviews Max was on the top step of the podium. I was very proud of him and you could see it on my face. I couldn't find his girlfriend anywhere around. Max got down from the podium drenched in champagne trying to hug me while I pushed him away. "No, you'll get me all sticky" I shouted while running away from him.

[ Winning his home race felt special to Max because Y/N was watching. He walked right up to her the moment his eyes landed on her. He couldn't help but wrap himself around her. After the race, they were going out to celebrate his win because Y/N wanted to go out with the other drivers and so he agreed. After reaching his room to quickly shower and leave, he was met with his girlfriend who was sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't look happy and after a bit of back and forth; Max said it. The words that had been floating around in his head for a while now; he didn't know why he didn't say it sooner. He broke up with his girlfriend. He wasn't sad but rather relieved. He walked into the shower while his girlfriend packed everything up to leave]

[h0efor2ho]

Quantum Shift : From Friction To Fusion

Yunho X Reader

WC : 3.1k

TW : Enemies to ???, Brothers best friend Yuhno, Teasing, nickname (Sunshine) masterbation, fingering, mind games,

You could pin point the exact moment, you decided you hated Jeong Yunho. It wasn't when you were 4 and he stole your butterfly net, or when you were 7 and and he used all the slides for your microscope without asking. It wasn't when he copied your science fair project or when he removed all the labels from the bottles in your micro-chem kit. No the moment you felt pure, unbridled hatred for Jeong Yunho was when you were 13 years old and he announced that he would be going to MIT for physics when he graduated high school. That wouldn't have been a problem if that wasn't your exact plan as well. And how did Yunho know your plans, well you could thank your big mouth twin brother, and Yunho's best friend, Mingi, for telling him every aspect of your life. 

You learned from an early age you would be stuck with Yunho in some compacity of life with how close him and Mingi were. But you thought it would end after high school. You thought college was going to be a fresh start for you. No longer competing with him, no longer trying to be one step ahead of him. All through high school you pushed yourself. You didn't party, you studied like it was your life force. In the end it was all for not. Sure you graduate with a 4.0 but Yunho beat you by 1 point for valedictorian. When acceptance letters go out, Yunho gets his first and of course he got into MIT. Your's comes three days later, along with Mingi's. All three of you getting accepted. 

Sure MIT wasn't huge but you thought you could at least avoid Yunho durning the day. It didn't help that you knew he would be at the apartment you shared with your brother 90% of the time. So your anger was justified when Yunho's dumb face showed up in more than half your classes that first day. His face breaking into a smug smile as he sat behind you, leaning forward as he did to say "Its just like old times" knowing it would get to you.

That was two months ago, and you haven't said one word to him since. Not a single word spoken in class, not one hello muttered when you leave your bedroom and find his lengthy frame on your couch with Mingi. Not even a look back at him now as you'r sitting in a stuffy lecture hall in a Modern Astrophysics class with Yunho's foot tapping the back of your chair. You refuse to acknowledge that the action is getting under your skin, doing so would give him the satisfaction he is looking for and you will not give that to him. He has been doing these little things over the last two months to try and get you to break, to talk to him.  

When your professor is done explaining a new paper you have to write and ends class you quickly make your way to the library, checking out the books you need and finding yourself a table to spread out on with your laptop. It's a Friday evening after 6pm, it's practically empty so it's noticeable when Yunho's 6 foot frame makes its way across the rows of book shelves and to a table two rows across from you. You try your best to ignore him, even thought you can feel his eyes on you. Finally looking up and meeting his gaze you watch as he holds your stare, eye brow hitching up and a small smirk playing on his lips. The site of him infuriating you to your core. 

You throw yourself into your paper, determined to finish it tonight. You had but in your headphones, allowing Franz Gordon's piano melodies to take over your subconscious and focus. Before long you have finished typing the last sentence of your paper. Looking at your watch you realize it's past 1am. You groan as you start to gather the books you were using to put them back. You allow your eyes to shift up for half a second to notice Yunho is no longer there. The table he was occupying now sits empty. You don't spend to much time thinking about when he left or where he went. If he finished his paper or not. 

After putting all the books back you quickly gather your things and make your way to the apartment you share with your brother. Quietly making your way inside as it's almost 2am now and you know how cranky Mingi gets if he's woken up. You quickly wash up and get yourself ready for bed. You can feel the exhaustion deep in your bones as you crawl into bed. Setting your alarm for 7am and turning on your white noise machine to help drown out any snoring that is garunteed to come from Mingi's room at some point in the night, your sound asleep before a minute even passes. 

You'r first thought when you jerk awake in the morning is that someone in your apartment is working with machinery. The loud whine-grinding noice coming from down the hall is obnoxiously loud. The second think you notice is the sun isn't even all the way in the sky yet. You reach for your phone to check the time and notice 1) it's only 5:15am on a Saturday morning. 2) You have about 5 missed calls from Mingi and 2 from a number you dont have saved in your phone around 2-2:30am. You think how that's odd since Mingi was home in bed with you. The whining grinding noise cuts through your thoughts again. You'r going to kill your brother for waking you up this early on a weekend.

You kick off your covers and stomp your way out of your room. It was too early for your brother to be making all this kind of noise. Rounding the corner, rubbing the sleep from your eyes you start your beratement of him "Mingi, its Saturday at 5am, its way t-" the words die in on your tongue when you take in the site before you. It in fact is not your twin brother, but his best friend, all 6'1" of him. Your mouth gape's open like a fish out of water before you snap it shut. He's shirtless, grey sweatpants hung low on his hips, his hair tussled from sleep. 'Why are his arms so big' you silently question as your eyes take him in. You would never admit it out loud, but Yunho had your ideal body type. You knew Mingi dragged him to the gym with him every so often and it showed. His biceps corded in muscle as he leans on the counter, his chest defined and leading down to his stomach that you know if you rested your head on would not be to hard or to soft. 

"Oh hey" he says to you as he opens the coffee grinder, your realize that is the source of the noise that woke you. "What are you doing here?" you blurt out "And where is my brother?" you tear your eyes from his long delicate fingers and the veins that run along his hands and back up to his eyes. Those big chocolate brown eyes that are now studying you carefully. "Oh she speaks" he says with a lazy half smile. "I was starting to worry you may have gone mute there sunshine" You hate the way your eyes track his stupid mouth and the way it quirks up. "I can speak just fine. I just chose to not speak to you. Now where is Mingi?" You watch as Yunho fills the french press with the fresh coffee grinds before adding the hot water from the kettle next to him before turning back to you. 

You suddenly are very aware that you are only in an oversized t-shirt and underwear. You had rushed out to the kitchen to yell at who you thought was your brother, you didn't bother with pants. Now you wish you kinda did with the way his gaze falls to the hem of your shirt that hits mid thigh. "Your brother sunshine, decided it would be a great idea for him and his math buddies to go to one of those uni parties" he lets the words hang between you as he pushed the pump down on the press. "Okay so that means he's where?" you question back. 

"He is currently passed out in his bed, and will be nursing a hang over today since they all got shit faced last night and he called me at 2am to come pick him up after he couldn't get a hold of you" You watch as his large hand reaches up and loops his finger through the handle of two mugs, pulling them from the cabinet. "Thanks for answering my call too by the way" He glances over at you "It was fun trying to figure out where his keys were while he was drunk at 2:30 in the morning" he turns and opens the fridge looking before his brows furrow. He looks over at you "Where is the 'sugar free sweet and creamy' creamer" he asks. "In the back, in the black glass bottle. Mingi will use it all if I don't switch the container" he bends down again and looks harder. "Ugh Y/N there are like 5 of those bottles back here." 

You roll your eyes, and stomp over to the fridge, lightly pushing his shoulder out of the way so you can look. "Yunho those are grey bottles, there is only one black frosted bottle back here" you say as you reach in and grab the bottle. "Seriously, for someone who is sooooo smart you sure ar-" the words die in your throat and your breath hitches as you feel a hand land on your hip. The back's of your thighs brush against the warm fabric that you realize is Yunhos sweat pants. You quickly turn and your face is inline with Yunhos bare chest. Only about 3 inches separate the two of you. You try and take a step back, but your back meets the cold surface of the refrigerator. He has you pinned, hand still on your waist.

You tilt your head back to look up at him, finding him already looking down at you. You hold your breath as he leans down, his breath fanning across your face as his hand wraps around the bottle of creamer in your's "Thanks sunshine" leaning in closer, he drops his voice. "By the way, the blue suites you" Your face must morph into the horrific embarrassment you felt on the inside because when he pulls back to look at you he lets out a small laugh while tracking your face. You can feel the blush sweeping across your face as he takes you in. Gaze sweeping from your eyes to your mouth, your neck. He watches the rapid rise and fall of your chest as your heart speeds up. 

"Ughhh my head" you nearly jump out of your skin when you hear your brothers voice come from behind Yunho. You automatically shrink back against the refrigerator as Yunho studies you. "Yea you're gonna feel like shit all day buddy" he says to your brother without taking his eyes, or his hand, off of you. "Why don't you go shower and I'll make you a cup of coffee" Your brother lets out a groan as he enters the kitchen, stopping in his tracks when you see's Yunho looming over you. "Ugh am I interrupting something?" his eyes shift from Yunho to you and back. Thankfully the way you are angled he cant see Yunhos hand gripping your hip like his life depends on it.

"Nope" Yunho says still without looking at you "Y/N here was just showing me where the coffee creamer was as she was telling me how blind and stupid I am. Isn't that right sunshine?" Neither of you look away as you shake your head yes. Mingi just looks at you for another minute "Well I'm happy you two can be in close proximity without trying to kill each other now" he smiles at you as you look at him "I'm going to take that shower. Maybe we can have breakfast after" you watch as he turns and walks out of the kitchen. You and Yunho stay where you are. Eyes locked, his large hand still gripping your hip, your shirt bunching up higher on your thigh from it. 

Neither of you move, not as Mingi pads down the hall way. Not when you hear the door to the bathroom click close. Not when you hear the shower turn on. Neither of you move until you hear Mingi let out a loud sigh and the sound of water splashing on the shower floor. Signaling he is indeed in the shower now. Two things happen, they happen so fast it takes a moment for your mind to wrap around them. Yunho pries the bottle of creamer out of your hand, placing it on the counter next to you. His hand then comes back to you, gripping your other hip. He steps into you, pushing you back up against the refrigerator more. His large, thick thigh sloping between yours. 

"Why do you insist on doing this to me?" he whispers. "Why do you keep putting me though this?" His eyes searching yours. You don't know what he is referring to. Your breath hitches as his thigh connects with your body. "I...I don't..." your mind cant form words. You can't think. You hate Yunho.. but you can't deny the feeling growing low in your stomach. You have to get away from him you think. 'He's trying to get me to embarrass myself' your mind is racing now. You slowly bring your hands to his chest. Your palms burn as they connect with his bare skin. "Let me go" you say, voice not as strong as you want it to be. His grip on you falters for a second. "I..  I dont know what game you're playing at Yunho, but leave me alone." You push slightly, he allows you to remove himself from you as you make your way around him. "Y/n im not-"

"Enough Yunho. I know we hate each other and are always trying to out do each other but please don't try and lie and tell me your not trying to get in my head and mess me up" You quickly flee back to your room, your blood rushing in your ears you barley hear him calling your name as he follows you. You quickly shut your door behind you, blocking him out his voice dies in the hallway. Your heart is racing, breathing coming in small pants. 'What the fuck was that' you think to yourself. You never thought in a million years Yunho would use those kind of tactics on you to try and mess with your head. 

He must have heard how flustered you get when it comes to anything intimate. You weren't a prude but your list of experiences were quite small. You had, had sex before with a ex boyfriend but it was nothing extravagant. In fact it was a little disappointing, and then when he broke up with you after stating that it wasn't exciting enough for him well you just went back to focusing on your education. You knew he told people you weren't that great in bed, mean while it was him that didn't seem to know what he was doing. You knew Yunho had been friends with him before that, he must have told him how flustered you got and decided to use that against you. You should be mad, furious even.. But you cant deny the feeling pooling low in your stomach. 

A feeling you haven't felt in a long time. You shake your head. It's Yunho, Jeong Yunho for god sakes. Your academic rival. You hate each other! So why are you so turned on by the memory of him pinning you to the refrigerator? You quickly strip out of your underwear and crawl into bed. You know you have to take care of this or it will consume you. Slowly you allow your hand to travel down your body till you reach your core. You were wet.. 'god I hope he didn't notice' you think. It wasn't because of him per-say you tell yourself, it was just the action its self. Your fingers quickly glide through your wet folds, finding your entrance with ease. You quickly insert two of your fingers in and work yourself up.It doesn't take long. Thoughts of Yunhos long fingers replacing yours. You think of the veins that run along the back of his hand and up his forearm. You're punching your fingers in and out of you at a fast pace, the heel of your hand coming down to put pressure against your clit.

 You quickly slap your other hand over your mouth as you approach the edge. Your pants turning into uncontrollable moans, the squashing sound of how wet you are filling the room. All while thinking about your brothers best friend and the man who is the cause of 90% of your troubles. It doesn't take long  before your back is arching off the bed and your core is clenching around your fingers. You come down in a hazy realization your just fingered yourself to Yunho. If he knew he would make fun of you to no end. Getting off to someone who hate you and you hate.You quickly clean yourself up before opening your text book and dive into studying, determined to never thing about what you just did ever again. Shame burns you from the inside out... How are you ever going to look at him again...

You successfully avoided Yunho over the next three week. You don't leave your room when he's over, you get to class right before it starts and run out as soon as it's over. You haven't gone to the library in three weeks for fear of seeing him. It was all going great till your advanced physics teacher announced you would be doing a partnered research paper. You hated group or partnered work but you saw how working with others is crucial in the science world so you always sucked it up. You were mentally preparing yourself to have to work with a stranger when you opened the roster he had e-mailed out along with the topic you had to cover. You found your name, next to it the subject "The Law Of Attraction and how it can be applied to science" but your stomach dropped when you saw who you were partnered with. Because next to your name was none other then...

...Jeong Yuhno...

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Tag list ; @tunaasan

If you'd like to be tagged in pt 2 please let me know :)

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Another realisation about Solomon post? Yes.

But First!

Let's talk about MC and Mammon's friendship (like I haven't spoken about it enough)

(platonically) general MC is probably the closest with Mammon:

• Beel mentions this in early S1 - saying that MC frequently seeks Mammon out to talk with him

• Levi mentions this in both S2 and Nightbringer

• Belphie briefly implies it in a chat

• Mammon has spoken about it multiple times

• Mammon & MC have been sharing a room frequently enough for him to leave his toothbrush and phone charger in their room from early S1 all the way up to S4

• His birthday is the only one they took charge and planned on their own, starting the gift giving a whole week before the actual date

• He's the only person in the circus event that they instantly remembered without having to talk with him first

• He's the first one in Nightbringer to fully accept them and start bringing them into the family shenanigans

• There are dialogue options like this, that aren't really options at all

• He's always their first - their first friend in every timeline and alternate universe

Okay so, now to the actual point of the post:

Solomon (in Nightbringer) asks MC if they've made any progress towards making the new pacts and MC says they're working on Mammon.

We know, obviously, why MC picks Mammon:

• He's their first. Not only does it seem like the right thing, they know him enough to know he'll throw a huge tantrum if he wasn't their first

• He's the safest and easiest option (I speak about this in more detail here) but basically he's the most settled after the Fall, the least likely to react badly or in anger, the least likely to accidentally hurt them and an extremely loyal ally (post here)

• Most importantly, he's their friend and they genuinely just like spending time with him

Solomon however, says something along the lines of picking Mammon being a smart choice because Mammon seems lonely.

Solomon's first thought was to see MC and Mammon's relationship from a strategic point of view. He saw a weakness (a true weakness btw, I actually have half a fic written from a year ago about Mammon being lonely in the Celestial Realm and I really need to complete it) and he exploited it to get what he wanted - similar to how he made a pact with Asmo in the present day timeline.

Solomon saying/doing this isn't really a bad thing, but I think it really adds to his character and shows his differences when compared to MC. It also really adds weight to the whole:

• locked away in a basement and hidden from the world during his childhood

• had one childhood friendship which is implied to have ended badly

• spent thousands of years without any real friends despite the fact that he had at least three people (Asmo, Barbatos and Thirteen) who genuinely cared for him

• admitted to not seeing the demons he made pacts with as friends until either s3 or 4, despite the fact that, even pre-series, Solomon is one of the people Asmo genuinely likes, cares about, values the opinion of, wants to impress and initially feels nervous around because of this

I just...

I love it when they give you a smiley and chill, kinda goofy, character whose past is a little mysterious and then you figure out oh he's got a tragic past and also his world view and thought processes are very messed up but also a product of his past

10/10 character actually

Relevant Posts:

• Solomon's World View and Thought Processes

• How Solomon's Past Shaped Him

[krirebr]

I Know I Should Know Better 4

Pairing: Curtis Everett x Female Reader, references to past Colin Shea x Female Reader & past Johnny Storm x Female Reader

Word Count: ~3.5k

Summary: Curtis has been working as your body guard for almost two years now. Standing by and watching you work and party your life away is becoming more and more difficult, but is there anything he can do about it?

Warnings: Angst, adult themes, complicated power dynamics, minor age difference (not explicit in this part, but reader is mid-twenties and Curtis is early thirties), drinking & implied drug use, explicit language, bad boyfriend (Colin continues to be awful, even though we haven't actually seen him since part 2), self-destructive behavior, anxiety, negative self-talk. She's still having a bad time, you guys. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Well, here it is! As I currently have it planned, this will be seven parts, so we're officially past the halfway point now. This part's a little shorter, but I'm hoping you'll think it's worth it.

Big thanks to @drabblewithfrannybarnes for helping me nail down the new character here! (If you don't remember doing that Carly, it's because it was ages ago 🤣)

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. Even if it's just screaming at me. 😄 As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

The drive to the restaurant was uncomfortable. Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was just you. Sitting in the backseat alone, while Curtis and Jensen quietly conversed in the front, you felt ridiculous. You should learn how to drive. You were a grown woman who couldn’t even get herself anywhere—just another way you didn’t know how to be responsible for yourself.

You stared at Curtis in the front seat. It’d been a few weeks since your boundaries conversation. You hadn’t spoken to him much since. He was right. It was better. Cleaner. But you missed being able to talk to him.

Something had changed about the way he watched you though. You would swear that it was more intense now, the way his eyes followed you around the room. And it always seemed like he had something to say, he’d just never say it. He didn’t make any sense.

You took a breath. You were nervous about this lunch. You weren’t entirely sure what the purpose of it was, aside from the fact that Marnie Reynolds had wanted to meet. You hadn’t seen her in years and then she just texted you out of the blue two days ago, asking if you wanted to have lunch. You assumed she was going to pitch you something. Why else would she want to talk? You hoped it’d be something easy to agree to. It would make Wilford and Tanya feel better if someone actively wanted to work with you, at the very least. 

The restaurant wasn’t the kind of place you normally went to. It was nice, but tucked away, not designed for those who wanted to see and be seen. Marnie had chosen it. She was waiting for you at a small table in the back, even more private. She stood as you approached and enveloped you in a warm hug. She was just as glamorous as you remembered, suddenly hit by memories of sitting in her trailer while she let you try on her jewelry. She’d always been so nice to you. “Oh, honey, it’s so good to see you,” she said as you both sat down. 

You smiled and nodded. “It’s good to see you, too. How are you?” 

“Oh, good, good,” she said with a big smile. “Just got back from a shoot in Greece. Happy to be home.” Her eyes lost a little of their luster as she asked, “How are you, darling?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you said. You could tell she wanted you to say more, but you just nodded and shrugged.

“Well,” she looked at you carefully, “I can’t get over how grown up you are. I know it’s silly, but I think I’ll always see you as the sixteen-year-old I met at the table read ten years ago.”

 “You and all of America,” you said dryly before you could think better of it.

Instead of chastising you, she just nodded. “I’m very grateful I didn’t have to grow up so publicly and then have to make that transition to being an adult. I can’t imagine how hard that is.”

You shrugged again. You didn’t really know what to say to her.

“Which, speaking of, I owe you an apology.”

Panic rose in your chest. Oh, god. Had she sold a story about you? Said something private in an interview? Blocked you from a new role? You weren’t sure you could handle one more thing right now. “Oh?” you asked shakily.

She nodded, seriously. “I should have done a better job of keeping in touch with you after we’d finished the movie. I owed you that much. I’m sorry.”

You furrowed your brow, confused.  “That’s fine. You’ve been so busy. I didn’t really expect you to remember me. I mean, you won an Oscar. I know how much work that takes.”

“Mmm,” she said, “and you sent me flowers.”

You shrugged. You just kept shrugging. “Well, you were always kind to me, and I was so happy for you. It seemed like the least I should do.”

 “You were always so sweet. I’m so happy to see that hasn’t changed.”

At the sincerity on her face, you looked down at your menu. You didn’t know what to say to that. 

“How’s your mom?” she asked, her tone strangely cautious. “Is she still your manager?”

“Oh, no. Wilford helped me get a new one when I turned 18. He thought I needed someone more experienced.”

She let out a breath, almost like she was relieved. “I have to admit, I’m happy to hear that.” You gave her a confused look and she continued softly, “She was always so hard on you. It was part of why I always invited you to my trailer. It seemed like you could really use a break from her.” She gave you another impossibly warm smile. “Plus, you were such great company. I loved making that movie with you.”

You couldn’t hide your relief when the server chose that moment to take your orders. You didn’t know what to do with the fondness in Marnie’s eyes. 

Once you were both done ordering, you decided you were ready to talk business. “So, what’s the project?” you asked.

She looked confused. “Project?”

“Uh, yeah. Whatever you wanted to pitch me? The reason you asked me here.”

“Oh, honey, no, I’m sorry. There’s no project. I just wanted to see you.”

That didn’t make sense. That she didn’t want to work with you again made sense. No one did, so of course she didn’t either. But then why else were you here? “I don’t understand,” you said quietly.

She let out a sad little sigh. “I’ve seen some of what’s been going on with you, online, and it just seems like you need a friend. I want to be that for you. I think about you more than you know.”

“Oh,” was all you managed to say.

She grabbed your hand over the table. “There’s so much going on for you right now. I can’t imagine how hard it must be, and then to have to deal with it in public too.”

You didn’t say anything, just looked at your joined hands on the table. Then, finally, still looking down, “Uh, yeah. I’m having a pretty hard time.”

She squeezed your hand. “I’m so sorry. I’m here to listen if you ever want to talk about it.” 

You finally looked up and nodded, but didn’t say anything else. You weren’t sure you could.

She looked at you carefully. “Have you thought about taking a break at all?”

You were reminded of Curtis, sitting on your couch, looking at you so earnestly, talking about taking a year off. You shook the image out of your head. “No,” you said. “It isn’t a good time. My reputation isn’t great right now, so I need to get back out there and show people that I can do the work. I need to fix it.”

“Mmm,” she hummed, “that sounds like agent speak.”

“Well,” you shrugged, “he’s right.”

“Remember, though,” she said, slowly, “that you’re a person, too. Not just a career.”

You just looked at her, blankly. Your career had been the most important thing about you since you were nine years old. You didn’t know how to separate the two. Luckily, that was when the server returned with your food, and Marnie graciously took it as a sign to take over the conversation for the rest of your meal. She talked about the movie she’d just finished, how her kids were doing, and the large garden she was planting at home. It was nice. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a meal out with a friend like this.

Still, you left the restaurant feeling raw and restless. You weren’t sure what to do with that conversation, the hard parts of it. The way she looked at you like she actually saw you. There was an itch in you now that just made you want to run.

Instead, as soon as you got home, you poured yourself a glass of sangria from the pitcher your housekeeper kept in your fridge and took the latest script Wilford had sent you onto your deck. You could feel Curtis watching you as you moved through the glass doors. That was his job, you told yourself. It was just his job.

The script fucking sucked. It was awful. The opposite of what you wanted to do. But you knew what Wilford would say. Beggars can’t be choosers. This was your fault. You were the one who’d destroyed your reputation. You had to be the one to fix it. And if making shit like this would fix it, then that’s what you had to do. Too many people relied on you for you not to do whatever you could, take whatever paychecks you could get. You hated it. You hated it so much. But you would do it.

You picked up your phone. You hadn’t realized how much time had passed. It was well into the evening now. There was a text from Michelle an hour ago, letting you know she’d left. And a few minutes ago, one from Nikki, a girl you partied with sometimes, that just said ‘Fuck them both!’

What the hell did that mean? Panic began to crawl up your throat and your hands started to shake as you typed your name into Google and clicked on News. Your stomach dropped.  Johnny Storm, that snowboarder you’d barely dated over a year ago, apparently had a podcast now. And the latest episode, posted that day, featured Colin Shea as its guest. Shit. Fuck. You couldn’t even look at what they’d said. There was no point. It was all just the same old bullshit.

You felt tears start to prick at your eyes. Why couldn’t everyone just leave you the fuck alone? You weren’t even that interesting. How could they possibly have anything to talk about?

Fuck that, you thought, as you stormed back into your house. You distantly registered Curtis calling after you, but you didn’t pay any attention. You were too focused. You headed straight up to your bedroom. They wanted something to talk about? You’d fucking give it to them! You charged into your closet and grabbed the sluttiest, shiniest dress you had. Fuck yeah. You could do this. You would be exactly who they wanted you to be. If they wanted a show so fucking badly, you’d give them one.

You ran back downstairs, looking for a particular pair of earrings that a costar had given you as a wrap gift a couple of years ago – huge dangly ones that said Fuck on one ear and You on the other. There was nothing subtle about what you were going for tonight. 

You’d have to think of someone to call, too. Someone suitable for the kind of scene you wanted to make, the kind of big mistake you wanted to fall into. You were so fucking tired of holding it all together. You were done. Your mind immediately landed on Lucas Lee, your costar in that dumb action movie last year. He was awful but so hot. Nothing but trouble and always up for whatever. Perfect.

As you entered your living room, your eyes landed on one of your jewelry boxes on the coffee table. There they were! As you picked up the box, you realized Curtis was sitting by himself on the couch. You saw him take in your short, sparkly dress and grimace. You weren’t in the mood to analyze it. “I’m going out,” you announced. “Have Jensen get the car ready.” 

You were already moving through, headed back upstairs when you heard Curtis rasp, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

You turned on a dime. “Excuse me?”

“I think,” he said slowly, so calmly you wanted to break something, “that going out right now, in the sort of mood you’re clearly in, would be a very bad idea.”

What the actual fuck? “Since when,” you asked, your voice quiet with seething anger, “is it your job to tell me what to do?”

He shook his head and you didn’t know how to react to how sad he looked. “I’m not telling you to do anything. I’m asking you to stay home tonight. For your own safety, which very much is my job.”

You just stared at him, dumbfounded. You didn’t understand him. He told you you weren’t friends. He was the one who said he was just your bodyguard. So what the hell was he doing now? 

In the moment you stood frozen, just staring at him, he took a cautious step forward. “Did something happen?” he asked barely above a whisper.

You shook your head furiously. You felt like you could barely form words. You were so angry and lost, and scared, and sad, and confused. You were feeling more than you thought your body could contain. And you knew, you knew, the only way to get these feelings out would be to go out and get as wild as you could. And here Curtis was, not letting you. You were afraid you were going to explode. “That’s fine,” you finally got out, ignoring his question. “You don’t have to come with me. Jake neither. I’ll get a fucking Uber.” You took a step towards the opening of the room. “Go home Jake!” you shouted through the house. “I won’t need you tonight!”

Curtis sighed your name. “I’m not going to let you go out by yourself,” he said firmly.

You threw your hands in the air. “Then make up your goddamn mind!” 

Jake appeared in the doorway, looking confused and Curtis turned to him. You took the opportunity to get back to the safety of your room, leaving your security detail to figure their shit out. Once back in your room, you dug through the jewelry box until you found the earrings you were looking for. You heard your back door open and close. Good. Jake, at least, was gone. You knew Curtis would be harder, but you were fucking determined. 

Just as you were opening Uber on your phone, Curtis appeared in your doorway. “What,” you growled.

“Would you just listen to me for a minute?!” He said, not quite a yell, but not not that either, as he barged into your room. All of his practiced calm from downstairs was completely gone. “Something bad is going to happen if you go out tonight! It is, I know it is. And I know you can feel it too!”

“Why do you care?!” You shouted at him. “No one else does! Why do you care so much?!”

“You know why!” he shouted back, and took another step toward you, but then suddenly stopped. Much, much quieter, much softer, and with eyes so pleading, he said “You must know.”

You didn’t. You really don’t think you knew until that moment, when the realization slammed into you. Every look, every sigh, all of the moments of him that hadn’t made sense. You took a step back. “What?” you breathed, barely realizing that you were shaking.

He took a step forward to follow you, then stopped. He opened his mouth to say something, but you shook your head at him. “No,” you said. “You can’t.”

“I can’t?!” he asked, incredulous and upset again.

“No!” you shouted, but it was so much weaker now. “I just– Why would– I’m such a fucking mess!” You were starting to cry, the adrenaline of the last half-hour finally leaking out of you, replaced by that same bone-deep exhaustion that you’d had for too long. “I barely have a high school education. I don’t know how to do anything for myself. No one wants to work with me. I am barely keeping it together and everyone knows it. I’m a trainwreck! Why would you–” You couldn’t bring yourself to say the words that you knew he meant. “Why would you have feelings for someone like that?”

 The sadness was back in his face. You looked away, unable to bear it. In your periphery, you saw him take a cautious step forward, then pause. When you made no move to run, he eliminated the distance between you, standing directly in front of you. He slowly, gently, carefully brought one hand up to touch your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “I know,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “I know all that and I still love you. Because I also know that somehow, despite everything, you are one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. You are so kind. And thoughtful. You let everyone see your soft spots, even when all they do is hurt you. You have every reason to be awful or bitter or mean or any of a thousand things. But you aren’t. It’s all of it, it’s all of those things and the ones you said too. All of it together, that’s why I love you. I love you because you’re you.”

You wanted to sob. No one had ever said anything remotely like that to you before. Not anyone in your family, or a single one of your exes. No one had ever cared enough to say any of that. Except for Curtis. He’d always cared, hadn’t he? Since that first day he’d showed up, when you’d been so scared about the possibility of a stalker, he’d taken such care with you. He was the most caring, thoughtful, beautiful person you knew. You took a deep breath and looked into his eyes.  You could see his worry, but also the deep conviction with which he’d just said all that to you. You couldn’t help yourself anymore. You surged forward and you kissed him. 

He made a noise of surprise—you didn’t know how he could possibly be surprised after all that—but after just a moment he was kissing you back, bringing both hands up to cradle your head. You were getting your tears all over him, but he didn’t seem to care. He was soft and gentle and passionate. You needed more. You needed all of him.

You took a step back, breaking the kiss. You did what you could to brush the tears off your face. You grabbed the bottom of your dress and pulled it over your head, then tossed it on the floor. You stood in front of him in the lingerie you’d picked out to fuck Lucas Lee of all people and couldn’t understand how you’d ever been able to think about anyone but Curtis. But you did know how when you stopped to think about it. You’d never been able to fathom that you might deserve this man. That he might actually want you.

He stared at you. “Fuck,” he whispered. “You’re–” you braced yourself for what might come next. So hot or fucking sexy. You’d even gotten beautiful once or twice. He only took a second before he finished his sentence “–incredible,” with such awe on his face that you actually felt your knees go weak. You had to look away. He was too much.

He took your face in his hands again and placed a soft, short kiss on your lips. “But would it be ok if we slowed down?” he asked.

You couldn’t keep the disappointment out of your voice. “Why?” 

“This is real for me,” he said. “And if we do this, I want it to be real for you too. I want you to be sure. And for now,” he stroked one thumb over your cheekbone, “right now I just want to hold you. Is that alright? If I just hold you tonight?”  

You didn’t know how to respond to that. Sex had always been the best, most important part of any of your relationships. It’d been the biggest thing that any of your previous partners had wanted from you. You weren’t sure you knew how to do it any other way. But he was holding you so gently, looking at you so softly, all you could do was nod. 

He kissed you once more. Then stepped back and started to take off his clothes. You made your way to your bed and got in, watching him as he shed his clothes. He really was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. Nothing on any movie set you’d ever been on, any party you’d ever been to could compare to him. 

Once he was down to just his boxers, he crawled in next to you and pulled you close. Your lips touched his shoulder as you asked, barely audible, “You really love me?”

He kissed your forehead. “Yes,” he whispered. “I really love you.”

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[pagannatural]

Season 1. Wincest Narrative

The way this story unfolds is so, so beautiful and I lose my mind a little when I think about it as a whole. When it opens, the brothers haven’t spoken in 3 or 4 years even though they've both desperately wanted to, and they both think the other doesn't want them. The first time they see each other after Sam walks out, they struggle in the dark and pin each other to the ground and then run away together.

Season character arcs

Sam begins the season ostensibly satisfied with his life at Stanford, with a career plan and a long-term relationship. Two things have to happen to disrupt that- Dean coming back into his life, and Jessica being killed. Kind of a switcheroo. 

Sam was going to marry his Dean-replacement girlfriend. He was never going to talk about his past even though he still thought about it all the time, still looked up cases and tried to follow along with what was happening in Dean’s life. He was going to box his past up and put it away forever and pretend to fit in because this is the life he chose, and because Dean didn't pick him. And then Dean literally breaks through Sam's careful barriers and all it takes is a gruff “yeah well I don’t want to [do this without you]", and Sam packs his bags. He doesn't even look back when Jessica asks where he’s going. He doesn’t kiss her goodbye. 

The way Dean appears to Sam as this dangerous, rough-around-the-edges, so familiar and so alive and so secret fork in the road is just delicious.

Dean starts the season believing that Sam has rejected and abandoned him. He wants his little brother back so badly, but he truly thinks Sam doesn’t want him. He finally has something to approach Sam with that maybe Sam will care about enough to come back to him- their dad, missing. I haven't seen this episode but I know later in the show Dean says he waited for hours outside before he broke in, agonizing over what Sam would say.

Over the course of the season Dean pursues Sam and shows him that he will protect him, keep him safe, choose him, respect him, and save him. The one thing he won't do is corrupt him, which is what he believes their feelings for each other would do. That's a conflict he'll bring into next season, but Sam decides to love him anyway. Sam tries so hard to hold onto the world outside of Dean but he ends up succumbing. By the end of the season, they’ve accepted that they're the most important things to each other.

John’s role is crucial to Sam and Dean’s relationship

Sam wants to belong and to be his own person. John is the force dictating his life before he leaves, so he has to get away from John. It’s not possible for Sam to grow up without breaking from his dad.

John gives bundled baby Sammy to Dean the night of the fire and that’s pretty much the way their relationships with each other form. John has handed Sam off to Dean. They hold conflicting positions in Sam’s life. 

John is a larger-than-life god-like figure to Dean. He’s distant and he has all the answers and all the power and his word is law, and Dean’s contract with him is to Take Care of Sam. So Dean serves this purpose under John’s rule until they reach a point at which Dean can’t take care of Sam without breaking from John and growing up. That rupture came to a head when Sam left for Stanford and Dean takes his first steps toward replacing John when John goes missing, by going to Sam. Dean makes the first move after years have passed to reconnect, something not even John would do.

Sam and Dean are fighting against getting close again for different reasons

Sam wishes he could have a normal life. A normal life is by necessity also a life distant from Dean. In the first episode, when Dean drops Sam off at Stanford and tells him they made a pretty good team, Sam looks conflicted and chokes out a “yeah” before watching Dean drive away. He knows they make a good team, that’s not the problem. Throughout this season, he is at war with wanting to be with Dean vs wanting to be normal.

From the very first episode and throughout the entire season, it’s obvious that they were very close before Sam left. They make each other angry and they make each other laugh and they communicate just by looking at each other- strategizing and seeking each other’s opinions and assessing each other’s needs in glances. They instantly fold back into each other’s lives, they save each other over and over. They gravitate toward each other and walk in sync and stand in each other’s spaces. There’s this sense that they know one another, not just better than anyone else, but better than anyone could ever possibly know them. It's clear to the viewer that they're matching puzzle pieces.

And I don’t think Sam’s conflict is actually about hunting versus normal at all. Sam rediscovers his love and aptitude for hunting right away. He feels fulfilled, admires Dean, and enjoys himself much of the time. In “It’s a Terrible Life” (s4) he still asks Dean to run away with him and be hunters together in an alternate universe. So his conflict centers on John and Dean. 

At this point Sam thinks Dean sided with John and abandoned him when he stopped hunting. But it’s more than feeling hurt and abandoned by Dean- Sam literally cannot have both Dean and a life. Dean is all-consuming. Sam could get the things he needs from Dean- belonging and respect- if it weren’t for two things: 1, Dean is still unwilling to break from John in a way that matters and 2, the way that they love each other is so abnormal it feels impossible.

Sam is unwilling to put Dean above everything else because it is in fact a dichotomy- Dean is bigger than just a brother, he can’t fit into Sam’s life as just another part of it. Sam knows that. 

Dean’s conflicts mirror Sam’s. Sometimes he resents hunting and wishes his life could’ve been normal. He faces the same dichotomy- once he becomes more independent from John, he can either have a family and home of his own or he can have Sam, and he hates himself partly because what he wants more is Sam. He knows that's not normal and thinks a part of Sam hates him for it. One reason their connection is so fraught with guilt and shame is because it's sexual/psychosexual, which is why I personally tag everything wincest. The way sexual and romantic relationships are so often a blatant point of conflict between them, the way their scenes are often shot like sex scenes, the jealousy and possessiveness, the way they touch each other, the fact that they see each other as desirable. It all points to a love complicated by sex. I have no problem with the idea of them as platonic soulmates, but I honestly think the text supports just straight-up wincest.

And actually they're not soulmates

They're twin flames. The idea that they're soulmates comes in later, but I think it's more precise and also more useful to the narrative to understand them as twin flames.

Twin flames are one soul split into two people, and their purpose is to cause one another to grow and be challenged by their connection. They're halves and also mirrors. That's why their dynamic is so often this push-pull, why their connection is so palpable, why they find each other in every universe and why they know each other so impossibly deeply. Narratively, one is often pursuing the other and they tend to push each other to the deepest depths of highs and lows. They separate, but they always come back to each other.

[spaceorphan18]

The Rogue and Gambit Project: A New Beginning (X-Men #1-3)

The true beginning of Rogue and Gambit's story really comes with the new and somewhat iconic era of X-Men. X-Men: The Animated Series drew its inspiration from the relaunch designs, and for someone who grew up with this era, it feels nostalgic as well as historic. Rogue looks and sounds like the character I grew up with. Gambit being crucial to the line up and no longer an afterthought feels pivotal. I feel like we've finally arrived.

And while I know this era isn't void of problems -- believe me, I know... I kind of enjoy this early Rogue and Gambit dynamic. It's fun and flirty and has a little bit of an edge to it. And the angst. So. Much. Delicious. Angst.

The funny part is... there really isn't a whole lot of it in these first few issues. Things don't really heat up until issue #4. Not only that, I'm gonna have to bring up Rogneto again... I'm so sorry, guys. Blame Chris Claremont.

Alright, let's dig in...

X-Men #1

Rogue in her now iconic new uniform -- this is going to be a standard for quite awhile. Get ready to see this pose a lot - Jim Lee, and artists after him, really like to do the whole one leg up, one fist out thing. Anyway, despite the fact that I (shockingly) don't like that much yellow on her - she's so pretty. I've always loved this era's hair.

Anyway, you want plot details you say?? This is Chris Claremont's last hurrah on his initial, epic 17 year run with the X-Men. And of course you can expect two things -- space shenanigans and coming full circle with Magneto as the villain. The crux of it is about Magneto possibly being a threat, despite the fact that he wants to be left alone, and of course, the X-Men get sucked into the drama.

X-Men #1

Gambit's redesign - which uses his initial costuming but man does he look so much better. He looks 'cool' in the way that all the X-Men look cool in this era. The dude can pull off the color fuchsia. That isn't easy to do. I do like, however, in color theory that the pinks and purples of Gambit goes well with the greens of Rogue's coloring. But more to the point - Gambit is pretty now, which is what we're all really here for. ;)

Anyway - because this is a relaunch, after our initial Magneto based prologue, we get a (re-)introduction to the entire team in one of my absolute favorite sequences of X-Men comics. The teams will eventually be divided into two groups; the Blue Team -- Cyclops, Beast, Rogue, Gambit, Wolverine, Psylocke, and Jubilee and the Gold Team -- Storm, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Forge, and Colossus, but for now, they're one happy family doing a classic danger room sequence as designed by Charles Xavier.

X-Men #1

The whole sequence is really pretty awesome, but it leads to one of my favorite comic book moments -- where Gambit just goes for it and kisses Jean. It's a fake, robot Jean, but it's a bold move. And leads to Cyclops wanting to drop a truck on him. It's such a classic moment and I love it.

X-Men #1

Our first Rogue and Gambit panel happens right after Wolverine wins the whole training sequence (because of course he does). (Also - Claremont can't quite resist and we get a final 'bang, you dead' moment.) Meanwhile, Rogue and Gambit still haven't spoken to each other - but at least they know the other one exists. Progress, right?

X-Men #1

I really need to take a moment and appreciate the fact that most of the time during this era, when Gambit isn't in his uniform, he's running around half naked.

X-Men #1

Ug, alright, let's talk about Magneto again. This whole arc is about Magneto kind of having an existential crisis (which, you know, happens when they need to reset you to villain again). And, unfortunately, we'll get a few of these moments scattered throughout these issues of Rogue trying to talk sense and reason into him due to their 'spark' in the Savage Land. I get that someone should be a reasonable voice -- especially when the rest of the X-Men are attacking the guy before any kind of provocation. But I'm still rolling my eyes that it's Rogue. Notice he calls her 'child' during this? He'll do that throughout. Eesh.

Magneto claims that he has no beef with them and offers them all safe haven on his floating asteroid base -- Asteroid M. And guess who doesn't join him? That's right - Rogue at least has enough sense to stick with the family she knows and cares about over a possible, not really fling. Btw - I hadn't mentioned it back when I was talking about the Savage Land, but there was nothing to suggest Magneto can actually touch her. (I think that might be an Age of Apocalypse thing?)

Also, in case you think any of this sounds familiar - pretty sure X-Men '97 drew heavily from this arc for their Season 1.

X-Men #1

The first time either of them mentions the other one, and it's Gambit being sassy about whether or not Rogue should be a considered a lady. I kind of love it, actually. And love that Beast is like -- oooh, you're playing with fire on that one.

X-Men #2

They're getting more on panel togetherness! Granted it's group shots and they're taking down Magneto, but I'm taking all the scraps!

X-Men #2

Alright, well as much as I'm not a fan of the Rogue/Magneto dynamic, I'm still going to be fair and talk about it. Because it is part of Rogue's development. The key thing here though is that Rogue isn't going to compromise her values and beliefs because she may feel something for Magneto. And this will continue to ring through always through the comics. Of course, how nice of Magneto to swat her away like an annoying fly. Romance for the ages, guys.

X-Men #2

More on panel time! They're really going for all the group shots these days - probably to milk sales. But I mean, Rogue and Gambit look good just standing next to each other, so who am I to complain?

So, back to the plot... Magneto is getting pissy because the world governments are seeing him as a threat. He kidnaps Moira MacTaggart and berates her and blames her for all of his issues (because, you know, she messed with his genetics after he was de-aged, in an attempt to make him /not/ a villain). It was... a whole thing don't worry about it.

Anyway, he has Moira (somehow) brainwash the Blue Team into joining Magneto's side. Because they can't otherwise be convinced. Which, oh my gosh - what's with all the brainwashing lately?? Of course, this means it's Gold Team to the rescue...

X-Men #3

I'm going to try to document every time they're on the same cover. Also, it isn't X-Men unless there's at least an X vs X brawl every other month.

X-Men #3

Another group shot with Magneto in between them?? What can this mean??? Actually, nothing, I think it's just a coincidence. But - I really like the art here.

But.. you guys! YOU GUYS! We get our first real Romy moment in this issue! Granted - they're still brainwashed! But it's another first! Here we go...

X-Men #3

So, they're all hanging out on Asteroid M, taking it easy because - apparently that's what you do when you're a brainwashed Magneto fan. I love that Cyclops is still in his full uniform while Gambit has managed to strip down to his undies. I'm sure we can all tell who is the real fun one of the group.

You know what I like about this exchange, though? Gambit was casually complementing her diving skills and Rogue is the one who decides to get flirty about it. Of course, Gambit's going to push it further - see how far she wants to really go, and that'll cause her to run -- a dynamic that we're going to see a ton of as we go through all of this early stuff.

But for all that Gambit's going to push - it's not completely unwarranted or completely out of nowhere. Yeah, he gets flirty with the ladies on principal. Yeah, he went for kissing (fake robot) Jean unprompted because he thought he could. I won't defend some of the ickier aspects of these comics.

But... I'm fascinated by the idea of - what if she could touch? Would it still be a game to him? Would she have let it continue? Would they just have had a little fling right off the bat? Are her powers what really pushes them to have a deeper relationship than what they might have had? Just all the thoughts I'm throwing out there.

I also like that, that little moment of humor, where she knocks him into the pool, is so genuine it shakes her out of her mind control.

I also like that Gambit's genuine concern for her stops his playfulness.

It's such a tease of some great stuff coming up, and I am here for it.

X-Men #3

And that's really all we get guys. The Gold Team shows up to save the day but not before some X-Men fighting amongst each other. Magneto monologues for a while. Charles tries to get him to see reason. The people of Earth try to nuke Asteroid M and everyone gets outta there while Magneto decides to go down with the proverbial ship.

X-Men #3

This is in the closing moments of the issue - and I'm putting it here because it is Rogue talking about Magneto again -- but kind of seeing reason and how their ideologies do not work. She's trying to get Xavier to see this, and it's funny that Xavier is having a very hard time trying to let his old 'friend' go. Rogue, however, is fine. Maybe there had been a small, romantic spark of being caught up in close quarters in a shared moment. But that was all it was.

There is more to a longer lasting romance than fleeting moments due to circumstances. ;)

The X-Men take off leaving Magneto and his real followers to their fates. Of course... we know that it's never the real end of Magneto. Asteroid M may blow up, but he'll be fine.

However, I'll take a moment say that it's a poetic ending. Chris Claremont closes it out with a sort of goodbye. His tenure on X-Men is now complete, and we've fully stepped into a bright, new era!

X-Men #4 is gonna bring it. Let's do it! ;)

[yunhonumeris1fane]

Try Again•JYH

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"After building your life sonewhere else, you come back home to your family, missing the old days. But one person you tried to avoid, still managed to pop up and say Hi! "

pairing : non_idol yunho x non_idol reader

genre : fluff

warnings : some alcohol?

There you are, walking down the streets you’ve walked over a dozen times. This time is different though, you’re walking alone and it’s the first time in over 5 years.

 Before going abroad to study and work, you used to be happy with a good circle of friends and the best boyfriend. Everything was perfect, until all of you started enrolling in schools, choosing your degrees. You were a really great student at school and wanted to explore the world. Your boyfriend wanted to remain in his home country and study there. This was where the differences between the two of you came out obvious. You started growing distant because of it and broke up on good terms. You moved abroad, and he stayed.

 The first months were hard, you missed your home, your friends and Yunho. The new places and unfamiliar environments did not help, but you were excited about the new chapter ahead.

 In the span of 4 years, you graduated with a degree, and worked for a company. You sometimes would catch on with your friends, mainly Hoongjoong and Wooyoung, but not as often. You liked the country you lived in and your job there, but felt extremely homesick, so without thinking twice you decided to give it a shot and come back home.

 Since you haven't spoken to either HJ or Wooyoung for over a month, you decided not to tell them that you're back. Instead you just continued living, like you always did. You landed on a job that offered good conditions, moved into a small apartment further away from the bustling city center and existed.

 As your now on your break now, you once again find yourself in a coffee shop right across the street from the company you work at. Taking your coffee you sit down at a table and scroll on your phone. While doing so, you keep feeling like someone is staring at you, so you look up to see three guys sitting a few feet apart from you. You don’t have your glasses, so you can’t really see their faces. You don’t know a single reason why they were staring and decide not to pay any more attention, instead continue living in your phone.

"Y/n?!" A familiar voice catches your attention. Your eyes immediately jump off the screen to the person, who is no other than Wooyoung, there’s Yeosang and Hoongjoong by his side.

"Guys!" Your eyes light up as you cover your mouth with the palm of your hand.

"Waaa!" Wooyoung boasts, "It's been ages, you've changed!" He comments on your changed appearance. You used to have light and short hair, glasses always on your nose, dressed up in various colors. But now your hair is dark and long, no glasses and you’re dressed neatly in black.

"Can we sit here, or you're waiting for someone?" Hoongjoong asks, pointing at the remaining three seats at the table.

"No no, sit" You insist and they are quick to occupy the remaining seats.

"So tell us, how have you been? Why are you here?" Hoongjoong asks, excitedly rubbing the palms of his hands. 

"I've been well, but I was really missing home. Y'know, my whole family and friends are here. Really missed that. So I came back, staying here for as long as I can" You show off your proud smile.

"I'm guessing you're not in a relationship with that guy anymore" He mentions your recent ex, who was an interesting person to say the least.

"We broke up last month"

"Good!" Wooyoung raises his thumbs up, he is happy you ditched him, "he was so unworthy of you. Total scum" he adds, his face turning bitter.

"How are the others?" You inquire about the remaining group, curious of how far they’ve come.

"They're good. Seonghwa has bought a house because apparently he is rich now. Jongho is still working at the SNU. Mingi is still traveling. San is good too, still going strong in the academy" Hoongjoong tells you everything important about the guys and then comes to a stop, hesitating about him,  "-and Yunho..  He's good too, he works a lot, he's a busy guy"

"Oh, that's good, everyone's doing fine…" You manage to reply, your mind now circling around the memories of old times. When you were in senior year, hanging out almost everyday. Wooyoung was your neighbor and a close friend. He introduced you to the group that led you to having a big circle of friends and Yunho. You were sweethearts, in a happy and stable relationship, the guys were also very supportive. Everyone thought you'd be together forever, married and living a long life. But life had different plans for the two of you.

"He never dated anyone after you" Wooyoung interrupts your thoughts as Yeosang shoots him a warning look.

"It's okay" You assure him, as talking about Yunho isn’t a crime. Although it saddens you a little, you can’t dwell on the past.

"Did you move on, or still like him?" Wooyoung attacks you again, he’s too nosy.

"Well you know what they say about first love, it's always in the heart. No matter how hard you try to ignore it" You explain with a shrug, as Wooyoung’s listening attentively.

"What would you do if you met him?" Yeosang asks, leaving you confused.

"I'd run, obviously" You reply without hesitation, there is now way you'd want to meet him. Awkward.

"I guess it's a little too late to say it. But Yunho and Seonghwa are going to be here anywhere from 5 minutes to now" He says as your face goes blank, you want to gather your things and run, "-never mind, they're here" Yesoang points at the two men approaching the table.

"I'll kill you" You mouth out to Yeosang and Wooyoung, who only shrug.

"Hi guys, who's here?'' Seonghwa greets the group, "-Ah… Oh… Y/n!" He jumps a little, immediately going in for a hug.

You can’t help, but smile, you missed the guys a lot. However your smile fades when you meet Yunho's eyes, he looks like he just saw a ghost

"H-hi…" You say to him.

"Hi…" Yunho gives you a small wave and is ready to turn around, but Seonghwa stops him

"No one's leaving!" He reminds him, as Wooyoung is quick to gather two additional chairs.

"You're getting prettier and prettier" Seonghwa compliments your appearance.

"You're not looking too bad either" 

"How long are you staying here for?" He inquires, needing to know everything.

"I'm staying for good. Will be here to annoy you forever" You said in a joking matter.

"Really? Well then we will have plenty of time to catch on" Seonghwa snickers, plans for upcoming gatherings already circling around in his mind.

 And so two weeks went by, you met the guys quite a few times, going to bars or hanging out at their places. Yunho didn’t join you, but the upcoming meet up at Seonghwa’s house today, he will be attending. Which scares the crap out of you.

...

'It's gonna be nice Y/n. There's gonna be food, drinks, music and fun :33'

'I dunno, I have lots of things to do'

You never turn down the party'

'I grew up'

'Nonsense. You drowned tons of bottles last week. Alcoholics don't recover in a week'

'I am one special kind'

'Nonsense… is this about Yunho? Cos he be there?'

'Yesn't'

'It's not like only the two of you be here'

'Judging you guys, we will'

'6p.m sharp. Be there. If not. WE WILL COME AND GET YOU!👺'

...

And here you are, sitting at the dining table, surrounded by your friends. Too lazy to cook, you ordered some takeaway. Alongside the meal, you have soju and makgeolli. Everything’s perfect. Almost.

You're not a good drinker, just a couple glasses of drinks make your head feel as heavy as a world’s biggest rock. A few more drinks and you'll be doing unpredictable things.

"Look at you miss tipsy" Wooyoung teases you, as you are smiling at the empty glass, thinking about having more.

"Is there something we should know?" San asks, noticing how much you are drinking.

"Nothing, just tired after a tough week" You mumble, your head buried in your hands, as the gravity keeps pulling you to the ground.

Wooyoung, who is sitting beside you, notices how you were close to leaning onto his shoulder. So he pretends to need to use the bathroom and when he leaves, the human wall between Yunho and you isn’t there anymore. When he comes back, he on purpose changes the seats, sitting down in between you and Seongwa. Now you are dangerously close to Yunho, even the drunken state in you can’t seem to stop the fast heartbeat. You'd be lying if there were no feelings for him left in you..

After a few more shots, you lose the capability of keeping your head straight and your head goes to rest against Yunho's arm. You forgot that Wooyoung was on the opposite side.

Even  the 'aww' stares you keep receiving - you still have no clue . And the fact that he doesn't push you away, doesn’t raise any suspicion in you.

 The sleepy phase doesn’t last long though, when you hear that San and Jongho are going to sing karaoke.

"Me too!" You immediately rise from your seat and run as fast as you can to them. They pick out an old classic boy group song and the three of you eat  the song. Dancing, jumping around and singing at the top of your lungs. When the song comes to an end, there is another. Then another. Then another. By the last song, you are lying in a starfish pose on the floor, microphone attached to your barely moving lips. You are just humming, on the other hand, the guys are still going strong. 

"I'm going to get some water" You inform them, as you get off the floor.

"Good luck Y/n. Good luck!!" San enthusiastically speaks into the microphone and bids your farewell, as you are on your way.

 When in the kitchen, you attempt reaching out for the glass, but you knock it down and it shatters all over the counter. Not being the best thinker, you start picking up the pieces and rest your palm on the counter, resulting in a piece of glass cutting you.

"What happened?" Yunho is the one that heard the noise and came to see what’s up.

"N-nothingg… I-I just broke the glass.. like alwayss.." You mutter in disappointment as you lift your palm and there's blood. You immediately start backing away from the counter, but there's more glass on the ground.

"Careful, careful" Yunho's hand rests on your back as he guides you safely out of the area. When you're at the other side of the kitchen, he sits you down on a chair and gets a solution and bandaid.

"I'm not exactly sober, so if I mess it up, I'm sorry" He admits and pours the solution onto the wound. You immediately hiss at the pain.

"It's okay, won't take long” Yunho shushes you, as he dabs the paper towel onto your skin, to dry off the wound. As he's doing so, you start feeling really sleepy and without much in mind you rest your head on his shoulder.

"I forgot how comfortable it was" You mumble into the crook of his neck, as he lets out a soft laugh.

"You've had enough to drink, you should go sleep"

"I'm fine… No, I'm not, I missed you" you confront yourself, as his body twitches a little. You are drunk, drunk affectionate, he tries not to think of your words as serious.

"I'm serious"

"Yep, you're wasted, go to sleep" He gently moves your head off his shoulder and leads the way to one of the guest rooms. Once you’re there , barely, you manage to find the bed and land on it successfully. Yunho stands at the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, hands crossed over his chest. He has to make sure you won’t mistake the comfort of the bed to the floor. He knows that whenever you get drunk, you sleep on the floor and then complain that you have a backache the following morning.

“C-can you stay?” Your words catch his attention, “at least until I fall asleep”

“I will”

He doesn’t need to stay long, cause you fall into a coma in a matter of seconds. But he stays a little longer, watching you. Not in a creepy way. You are just as beautiful to him as in the past. He felt like he was over you, that he moved on and so did you. But the moment he saw you again, the feelings came back again.

“Is she sleeping? on the bed?” He is hit by the questions about you again, the moment he comes back to the living room.

“Yeah” Yunho nods and sits down.

“I saw the way you looked at her. You still love her, right?” Hoongjoong asks him.

“I don’t know man, maybe?” He wonders

“If that helps, she still likes you”

“I figured, back when I was fixing up her wound, she kept saying I missed you and stuff”

“Isn’t that good?”

“We broke up for a reason. Maybe it was a sign we are not a good match”

"Not a good match my ass" Wooyoung argues with him, "it's not like something bad happened, so you can just… you know, get back together"

"It's not so easy" Yunho scoffs at the man’s incompetence when it comes to relationships.

"Nobody said it was easy" Wooyoung tries to persuade him "If you still like her, she likes you too, get together. I can't stand watching this"

"Then sit down if that helps" He suggests, as Wooyoung pouts his lips, annoyed.

"Very funny"

 The morning catches uo rather fast. You lift your heavy head off the pillow. Your head feels like a rock, not to mention it hurts. You shouldn't have gone overboard with the drinks. Immediately thoughts like "Did I do something questionable yesterday?" flood your mind.

"You're awake" Yeosang pushes the door open, gasping at the sight, "You look like a homeless"

"One more word and you'll be a real homeless" You warn him, aggressively pointing your index finger at him.

"I'm good. Everyone's downstairs" He informs, "How are you feeling, do you remember anything from last night?"

"No?..." you wonder, trying to remember. Then your eyes land on the bandaid on your hand and it hits you. Oh no!

"He's still there by the way. See you later" Yeosang disappears as you grab a handful of your hair, shaking aggressively. You remember everything and he does too for sure, he's a better drinker than you.

 "Here take this" Mingi offers you a hangover cure packet as you take it. Chugging it down, you sense Yunho's presence in the room and avoid looking in his direction.

"How's your hand?" Wooyoung's voice echoes from Yunho's direction

"Good" You don't dare turn your head to see him.

"Is there something on the table?" Mingi asks, in a teasing way, noticing how you're avoiding Yunho.

 "No nothing" You hum and pull out your phone to look at the weather app, pretending to be busy.

"Okay, we'll be going, gotta hit the gym" Yeosang, Mingi and San inform you, "See you later" They pat your head as they pass by and leave.

 Now there are 6 of you, but only three in the dining room. Jongho, Hoongjoong, Seonghwa are somewhere upstairs 

"Bathroom break" Wooyoung announces and sprints out of the room. You panic, eyeing your bag on the sofa in the other room.

"Can we talk?" Yunho interrupts your inner thoughts, as you shake your head.

"I've gotta go" You quickly pace towards the sofa to take your bag. But he catches up with you and blocks your way. 

"We need to talk Y/n" Yunho says, this time it's more demanding.

"I don't want to talk" You try to push his hand away, as it's locked around your wrist.

"You're not leaving until we talk" 

"Fine. What do you want?" You snarl at him. You want to run away and he’s keeping you hostage.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He hits you with a simple question, but you have a trouble explaining the reason to him.

"I'm not" You shrug your shoulders.

"Sorry, but you are" He confronts you, now you’re trapped in the corner, with no way out.

"Fine. Why do you care" 

"I just care" He doesn’t explain either,  "do you remember anything from yesterday?" is all he asks.

"Yes"

"Did you mean it? What you said" Yunho wants to know whether you were just talking total nonsense, or you were actually telling the truth.

"If yes, what?" You look down at his hand, his fingers still wrapped around your wrist. He immediately releases you.

"I did too" His words stop your heart for a moment.

"Did what?"

"Missed you Y/n" His hand creeps up to your chin,  tilting your head up, so your eyes could comfortably lay on his, "Missed every second spent with you"

"Are you confessing to me right now" You’re in pure shock.

"I'm confessing my love for you again" He chuckles, remembering the first time when he said the three words. It was a spring day, you and the guys were supposed to have dinner at a restaurant, but it turned out that only you and Yunho were there. The guys tricked you, they wanted to give him a kick, so he would finally confess.

"I remember you being very nervous. You were so stressed, that you started cutting the steak with a fork" You let out a laugh, the memories of your first date never left your mind..

"You weren't an angel either. You couldn't even hold eye contact" Yunho reminds, "not to mention that you even spilled a glass of water on yourself and I had to get you shirt from my car"

"Mistakes can and do happen" You explain him, your cheeks burning from the embarrassing memory.

"What if we tried again? I know you're not planning on leaving long term. We already know our differences, we could work it out" He speaks to you, softly, fingers tracing the side of your face, that he longed for years.

"Do you think we could work it out?” 

“Don’t you want to try?” Yunho questions you, now unsure if his descision to confess was a good idea.

“I wan’t to, but I don’t want to go through all of it again” you admit, a he lets out a sigh of relief, happy that you feel the same

“It’s a little less likely now, now that we’re older, more mature” Yunho states, thinking he's got a point.

“You’re saying you’re mature. That’s a sight no one will ever see”

“Here you go, running your smart mouth again” He scoffs, pointing at you.

“And you can do nothing about it” You smile, hands resting on your waist.

Turns out he can. The moment you attempt to share more sarcastic remarks, he seals your mouth with a kiss. You immediately go into a silent mode, shocked. You didn’t think he’d actually do it. But you don’t complain, you ease into his touch, his hands, that are gliding up and down your body. The kiss and everything about this moment is so warm, it feels like home. There is no other person, none other than Yunho, that could make you feel the way you feel right now. Safe and loved.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡

[supercriminalbean]

Born this way

Spencer Reid x Trans male Reader.

Summary: Reid wants to introduce his trans boyfriend to the team, but first he has to deal with some family issues first.

Words: 21.8k

Warning: Transphobia. Homophobia. Swearing. Crying. Fluff. A Lot of Angst. Depression. Many mental breaks down. Panic attacks. Transphobe Gideon mentioned. Abusive family. Drug addiction mentioned. Alcohol consumed. If I have missed anything let me know. 

A/N: This one-shot means a lot to me by the way. But I’m sorry because this gets deep at points, yes I may have started projecting at certain points my bad. Reader is Gideon's son, Rossi Godson. There are a lot of cute Uncle Rossi moments in this. I love it. (I have many daddy issues he fixes them) I might write a part two where Jason and the reader fix their relationship. Also flashbacks of how Reader grew up and how Rossi and Aaron became protective of him. But that won’t be for awhile if I do, let me know If you would like that though. Thank you for your time.

1989

“No, I wanna dress like a Prince, don't wanna be a Princess” You whine as he holds up the brand new Cinderella dress he has just bought you.

“You want to be a prince” He sighs softly. He hates seeing you look so hurt at the sight of the new dress, he sets it back down. “Why do you want to be a prince huh, you just want to copy your older brother?” He already knew that wasn’t the real answer but he needed to know how you really feel, without him profiling you. 

“Because I’m a boy, and boys are meant to be Prince's not Princess” You stubbornly cross your arms looking up at him. A small mad looking smile on your face, one that looks crazily similar to your fathers.

“You're a boy huh, so now there's two little Gideon boys running around, Lord help us” He chuckles softly watching as your face lights up.

“I'm gonna be a better brother than my brother” You laugh squeaky, excited by his reaction. Your little child mind is already used to abuse and bullying, when expressing how you feel about your gender. So seeing how happy your uncle is for you, just makes your little heart flutter with happiness. 

“Have you told your dad yet?” He asks as he sits down on the couch beside you, trying his hardest to keep his smile on his face. He already knows how your parents feel about these types of ‘situations’.

“I told him the other day, he told me I’ll always be his daughter, I don’t understand why he won’t listen to me, him and mummy don’t get it” You sigh heavily leaning your head on his arm, you know your uncle will always listen to you. 

“I’ll talk to them Tesoro, we will get them to listen to you” He smiles sadly, knowing this is going to be a difficult road for you. “In the meantime, shall I go find your brother's old Prince’s costume” He looks down at you, seeing a big grin spreading across your face as you jump back up.

“Yessss, I'm going to be the best Prince Charming”

“Well Prince Charming, one day you are going to find your own Princess” He smiles as he gets up.

“Ew no way girls have cooties, I'm going to marry another Prince, Uncle Dave” You screw your face up at him which makes Rossi chuckle as he walks out. 

Growing up.

While growing up your dad seemed to always be working and was never around while you and your older brother grew up. You never had a good relationship with him or your mum, they never respect your pronouns or your chosen name. Your dad only started coming around to your gender identity once you moved out and started cutting him and your mum out of your life at age 18, (9 years ago.) But due to everything that happened when you were growing up, the relationship never healed between you and your parents. You haven't spoken to them in over 4 years now. You and your brother aren’t close but still talk occasionally, Stephen was always by your side growing up. He tried to be the overprotective brother you need in your life growing up.

Your Uncle Dave tried his best to stay in your life, but after he finished working with your Dad it became difficult. Their relationship was strained due to the fact he never liked the way your parents treated you. He always sent you postcards and letters whenever he went on his trips and even copies of his books. You were so proud of him when he became an author, your dad said he was full of himself. But you didn’t care, he was your Uncle and you told everyone about his books. You were barely able to catch up with him due to your parents but when you did he always bought you gifts, and even helped you with things that helped ease your gender and body dysmorphia. When you turn 20 he even gave you enough money to get top surgery. You remember crying in his arms and telling him how you wish he was your dad instead of Jason. 

When Dave got back into the FBI, 5 years ago. You had gotten angry with him, and your relationships with him started becoming strained. You were slowly losing touch but you knew deep down that the fatherly love he has for you could never die. 

2012.

You had been dating Spencer Reid for five months now, and the last five months had been amazing. It had taken a while to get used to his work schedule but it just made you value the time you spent with him more. Spencer treats you like a prince, when he spends time with you he makes sure he is focusing on you. He always tries to not bring work with him on dates, the occasional times when he would get called away he always made sure to make it for it. He would buy you coffees and books, then turn up at your workplace to surprise you when he gets home early from a case. Spencer loves surprising you, seeing the way your face lights up when he would just walk into your job.  

You always tell Spencer that he spoils you too much, but he disagrees. He doesnt think he spoils you enough. He knows you deserve to be showered with more gifts and when he's with you, he wants to show you how much he cares about everything you have to say. He loves hearing you rambling about your days, he knows you never got that type of attention beforehand. It breaks his heart when you apologise for talking too much, especially about the things you love. He understands what it can feel like when people say talking too much is a bad thing, but that is something he strongly disagrees with. The joy and excitement he feels when you talk, warms him up like nothing ever has before.

~~~

Spencer Reid loves being your Boyfriend because of how sweet and adorable you are with him, making sure he always knows how much you care for him. You might not be the type of guy to send texts, telling him how much you love and miss him when he's away. Instead you send him texts asking him if he has eaten yet, asking him how much sleep he has had that day. Telling him off gently, if you don’t get the response you like, which results in him smiling and blushing, specially when you praise him for doing his best during tough cases. He remembers the time the team had finally figured out he was dating, only due to the fact he wouldn't stop smiling at one of your texts.

Flashback.

The team had been away on a case for four days and they were close to finding the identity of the unsub, and tracking down the whereabouts of him. Currently Hotch and Rossi were on their way back from the morgue, stopping to get dinner on the way back. JJ, Emily, and Morgan were sitting at the table discussing the profile and victimaliz. All of them glance over at Reid occasionally, who's standing in front of the map, but he is seemingly more interested in his phone. Spencer's face is covered in the biggest grin the three profilers have ever seen from him. His eyes having this different sparkle in them, as he types away quickly. Emily smirks at the other two, raising her eyebrow, the other two give her the knowing look. Everyone has noticed how happy Reid had been the last few weeks, making everyone talk in between themself. They had all come to the conclusion that he was indeed dating. Morgan and Emily were certain it was a girl he was talking to, but JJ and Garcia had disagree they were pretty sure he was hiding the fact it was a boy. Hotch and Rossi weren’t getting into that part of the conversation, just shaking their heads at the childish argument their team were having. Reid had come out years ago about being bisexual, but no one had ever met any of his dates before. He liked keeping that part of himself private until he was sure it was serious.

~~~

“So pretty boy, who's got you smiling like that?” Morgan smirks, calling out to him, pulling Reid away from his thoughts. Blushing as he looks up at the three profilers who are spread around the table, all gawking at him.

“Shut it Morgan” Reid clears his throat awkwardly, shoving his phone into his pocket.

“Aw come on Reid that's not polite” Emily teases him, her elbows resting on the table, her chin resting in her hands lending towards the poor boy. “You should apologise by telling us why you were smiling at your phone like that” Emily smirks as Morgan and JJ snigger quietly. Reid cheeks burn lightly as he sits back down, allowing himself to smile at the thought of telling his friends all about you. 

“Wait wait, hold up, look at that little smile on his face” Morgan teases him, leaning over pinching his cheeks quickly. Only to get swatted away.

“You normally tell us to back off Spence, this person must be special huh?” JJ smiles softly at Reid, as Morgan sits back at his seat chuckling as Reid nods at her smiling softly. 

~~~

Hotch and Rossi arrive, with Garcia on the phone. Making the team put their conversation on hold and back onto the case. Garcia gives them more information on their victims and could be unsub. Reid could feel his phone vibrating, holding back a small smile knowing that it's you. Once Garcia has ended the phone call, the team finally starts getting into their dinner, giving Reid the chance to check the texts you had sent him. It took all his strength not to let out a small chuckle.

Bean:  You better have had you dinner by now Spency, cos Bubbles sure is digging in.

The photo you had sent finally loading on his phone. It was you snuggled up on the couch, under your comfort blanket trying to eat your favourite takeaway, with your cat trying to steal it from the container. 

~~~

Spencer couldn't stop the small laugh that escaped the laugh that leaves his lips, staring at the photo. He couldn’t believe how much joy he could feel, from just seeing a small glimpse of you on his phone. Deciding he would also send a photo back of himself with his dinner, picking up his food quietly, not paying attention to the rest of the team. If Reid was paying attention he would have noticed how quiet the room has gotten after his small laugh, how everyone kept giving each other the look. How Morgan has now gotten up and is making his way over to stand behind Reid, crouching down so he can look at his phone thinking he can go without being noticed. The team having to suppress their laughter watching Morgan trying to be sneaky, the big grin across his face quickly fades to an ‘Oh shit I’ve been caught’ look. When he realises Reid's front camera is open, and that he's just photobombed Reids selfie.  

“Morgan you ruined my photo” Reid groans, putting his phone down, turning around to glare at the man, while the team laughs at them. Morgan chuckles awkwardly, giving him his best older brother face. 

“Hey it's not my fault, if you would just tell us who's got you being so secretive, I wouldn’t need to be looking over your shoulder” Morgan smirks as he sits down beside him, playfully pretending to pick up Reid's phone. Reid quickly swats his hand away, moving his phone away.

“Can’t me and my boyfriend have some privacy around here” Reid smirks softly. Unlocking his phone again, sending you the photo of him and Morgan to you. 

~~~

“Ha, you two owe me and Garcia drinks next night out” JJ cheers happily. Smirking at Emily as she groans. 

“Wait, you guys bet on me being in a relationship?” Reid asks looking up, giving them a pointed look.

“Oh no it was clear you were in a relationship” Hotch smirks, shaking his head.

“They betted on whether or not it was with a girl or a guy” Rossi adds in, chuckling. 

“Speaking about bets, how long have you two been dating for?” Morgan asks, wiggling his eyebrows at the kid who blushes lightly. 

“Can you guys stop betting on my lovelife please, and officially we’ve been dating 12 weeks and 2 days” 

“Atta boy, that means I win” Rossi raises his drink up at Reid, making the team break out in laughter once more.

“So Spence, when do we get to meet this mystery boy of yours?” JJ asks, smiling at him, even if he's been trying to hide it. She hasn’t seen him this happy in years, and wants to meet and check out whoever this new person is in her best friend's life.  

“Oh uh I don’t know maybe in a few weeks” Reid shrugs “It's still all new, but trust me when you guys meet him, you will all love him, he's amazing” A smile creeps across his face, one that's full of love and hope. One the team hasn't seen him wear before, they can’t wait to watch Reid on the road of love. 

 End flashback.

You’re laying on the couch reading one of David Rossi books, it’s one of your comfort books when you’re having a bad day. You keep glancing at the clock, time seems to be passing by slowly tonight, just waiting for your boyfriend to turn up. Getting tired of waiting, you pick up your phone, rereading the last text saying he had land and he would be leaving the office in 15. That was 40 minutes ago, would you seem too clingy if you rang him, asking where he was? You probably would, but seeing as you haven't seen him in almost a week you didn’t really care anymore. Pressing the call button beside his name, moving the phone beside your ear, waiting for him to answer. 

“Hello this is Dr Reid” His voice rings out, sounding so professional. But you could just tell how exhausted he is, not even looking at the caller ID.

“Well hello Dr Reid, mm you almost sound like a professional, Amore” You tease him softly, hearing his soft laugh escape him.

“Hey (Y/n), I'm sorry I'm running a little behind with this paperwork, If Morgan didn’t keep distracting me I would be done by now” He sighs dramatically, hearing some voices in the background, and what sounds like some struggling. Laughing at the childish behaviour, you could just imagine what was happening. That being your boyfriend and his best friend joking with each other again. Spencer has told you many, many stories of their pranking wars before, and you could only feel sorry for their team. 

“Hey no no no Morgan, get off me Derek get off” Spencer grunt out at the man, trying to shove him away. But he's too late as Morgan manages to snatch the phone out of his hand and rushes away from the boy. 

~~~

“So this must be Spencer's boyfriend, (Y/n) right” Derek's cheekily voice breaks through the phone as you laugh, guessing what has just happened. 

“That's me, Derek right, did you steal my boyfriend's phone just to talk to me?” You laugh, albe to put his voice to his face. Remembering the photo Spencer sent you a couple months ago that Derek had accidentally photobombed.

“Oh that I did, I need to know who keeps distracting and making my pretty boy blush all the time” Derek chuckles softly, and you could hear Spence protesting in the background.

“Aw I make him blush, guess I'm just that special” Laughing quietly, shaking your head, “I guess I just have the effect on men, just wait until you meet me in person Derek”

“Ohh that I can not wait to do baby, trust me Reid can not shut up about you we all are dying to meet you so we better be meeting you soon or Garcia is going to die from not being able to gossip away with you” Derek explains dramatically, you thought. 

“Well I'm sure I can meet you all soon, Just once I can get our schedules all organised for once” You promise him, smiling. Enjoying the idea of meeting the team that your boyfriend never seems to be able to stop talking about. 

“Okay, Finally” Derek cheers happily, as you hear a few Reid nosies, before Morgan yells a quick bye.

“Im back” Reid huffs laughing, earning a soft chuckle from you.

“So that was Derek Morgan huh?” 

“Oh that it was, looking if it's too soon, we don’t need to worry about all this” Spencer's words start rushing and mumbling together, like they do when he gets too nervous. Quick to calm his nerves down, you cut him off.

“Spence, I would love to meet your team one day soon, but right now I just miss you, when are you leaving, because I really want cuddles and so we can talk about our week and just relax” You smile slightly, hearing his breathing relax. Knowing his shoulder would have just rolled backwards in the same motions.

“I’m putting my files away right now then I’m on my way to your place, I’ll be there in 15” Spencer tries to relax from your words, but something in your tone just doesn't sit right with him. He still doesn’t know why you rang him, normally you would just wait for him to turn up even an hour late.“Hey so why did you ring before, is everything alright?”

“Yeah I'm fine bambino, I’ll see you soon, I love you” Your voice comes off trying to sound strong, forcefully.

“Okay, I love you too (Y/n)” A chorus of Awws and cheers ring through the phone before Spencer hangs up.

~~~

You were in the Kitchen cleaning the bench when you heard the door open, hearing Spencer footsteps and his quiet voice talking to the cat. Who ran straight over to him, meowing happily to see her second favourite human. 

“Hey (Y/N), where are you?” Spencer calls out, quickly giving Bubbles a small pat. His smile fading as his eyes scan across the living room, hearing you call back from the kitchen. He couldn’t help but profile the room, even if he didn’t do it as a job it would be hard to miss that something was wrong. One of your comfort movies is playing, the one you watch on repeat when you're feeling low and anxious. You never like leaving your dishes or trash around, worried it would attract mice and rats. But today, there are empty cans of soda and energy drinks and packets of snacks, shoved behind the couch. Your weighted blankets laid careless on the ground, covered in crumbles. Something you hate, due to the fact it normally makes you feel even more dirty and itchy. Otherwise the room looks spotless like you had done a deep clean of the whole room the day early. Placing his bag down on the couch, as he makes his way over to the kitchen, he can't help but notice how the house looks and smells completely cleaned. As if you have deep clean every surface you could, which he knows you like to do when you're feeling powerless. 

~~~

You're standing in front of the fridge, staring absently into it, not even noticing Spencer approaching. You're looking exhausted, with dark bags underneath your eyes. Your face is paler than normal, your body looking sluggish. Letting out a soft irritated sigh, as you close the fridge with a bit more force than you meant to. 

“Hey Beanie��� Spencer speaks your nickname softly. He walks over slowly, watching you worried. You flinch at the noise, flinging around to look at where those words came from. 

“Oh hey, um sorry, I must have been distracted” You smile weakly, turning around to give him a welcome home hug. That he happily embraces, wrapping his arms around you. Resting his head on your shoulder, as you hide your head in his chest. His eyes roam around the kitchen seeing a large pile of dishes just been recently washed, still drying. He could feel how tired your body is in his arms, the way your breathing is more deep and controlled. Almost as if you're focusing on matching your breathing to his. Something you do when your anxiety plays up in public, or when you’re having trouble trying to sleep. 

~~~

When you slowly pull away from his warm arms, looking up at him. His concerned eyes staring down into yours, his hand gently cups your check.

“Are you alright, love?” His voice stays soft, not wanting to overwhelm you.

“Im fine, you're the one who just came back from a week long case” You brush off his question, breaking eye contact with him as you lie. You're not ready to tell him how you're feeling inside, scared you would fall apart right there in his arms. It wouldn’t be the first time he would see you cry, but that doesn’t mean you like letting your boyfriend watch you break apart. 

“Don’t do that” He sighs, as you step back refusing to look at him. “Don’t avoid the question, you now I can tell something isn’t right, I'm here when your ready to tell me about it” 

Nodding in response, still refusing to look at him again. “I know” Taking a deep breath, slowly glancing back at him, taking him in properly this time. His eyes have small bags underneath, the clothing he's wearing have small marks and stains on the tops. Knowing his clothes usually get dirty when he's been rushing to finish cases. Taking in his body langues seeing how stress and tired he looks. Starting to feel guilty for adding to his pile of stress, hating how you can’t just handle your own emotions and personal issues without him noticing. 

~~~

“Spence, why don’t you go have a shower and I’ll make us some dinner, then we can watch some tv” You smile weakly at him, he watches you carefully as he thinks about it.

“You don’t need to cook, it's getting late you know”

“I know, but you probably have been living off takeaways all week”

“And one more day won’t kill me” He smirks lightly, making you laugh quietly.

“You know what, I think I have Pizza in the freezer, think that will do?” You smirk, shaking your head lightly, as you walk over opening the freezer door. Spencer walks over wrapping his arms around your waist. Resting his head on your shoulder hiding his face in the crock of your neck.  

“Frozen pizza and cuddles sounds perfect to me” He exhales, kissing your neck gently. You smile softly, relaxing into his touch. 

“Good, now go shower” 

~~~

You're laying on the couch, the food waiting on the table beside you as you scroll through the tv channel, looking for something new to watch. Getting lost in the cooking show that is playing, patting Bubbles who's happily snuggled down in your lap. Spencer walks out seeing you cuddled up on the couch smiling a little, the worry for you still hasn't eased up. 

“Hey, what are you watching?” He calls out quietly so as to not startle you, walking over to the couch. Settling down beside you, giving Bubbles a few pats when she meows for attention, again. 

“Some cooking show, they are meant to be making pasta but they are doing it all wrong” You sigh, shaking your head at the contents on the television. “Do they not know your not suppose to burn the onions before you add them to the dish, also the way they are handling the pasta is horrible they need to be delicate with it, not ruthless like come on” Huffing lightly, as you move yourself to cuddle into Spencer shoulder, being carefully to not disturb Bubbles to much. Leaning into his touch as he wraps his arm around your shoulders, relaxing slowly into his touch. The heat from the shower rationing off his body, his light chuckle being the exact combination you need for your body to be able to relax and know that you're safe. 

“Someone knows their pasta” He smirks softly, feeling a bit more confident feeling you relax in his arms. 

“Oh I do, I was taught from a young age all the correct things to do if you want to make the perfect pasta, If you don’t feel like doing it right then stay out of the kitchen I use to be told” Laughing lightly, reaching over to grab the plate of pizza seating beside you. “I told him I would just order pizza instead” 

“So you have always been sassy since a young age?” Spence's laugh is light as air and full of joy and sweetness. Reaching for a slice of the pizza watching you as he eats.

“Oh definitely, I blame my Uncle. He may have taught me how to make amazing pasta but that means he also taught me his Italian sarcasm as well” Your laughter starts dying off after you mention your Uncle. Glancing down quickly trying to avoid Spencer stares as you grab a piece of pizza. Starting to eat and turn back to the tv, letting the conversation drop out. 

~~~

You keep trying to get back into the show but you can’t seem to focus, your mind keeps wandering back to your family. The text message you had received the other day having just hurt you more than you really think it would. The one guy who was suppose to still be by your side, was once again choosing your parents over you. Fuck the pain in your chest feeling just like it had when you were in high school. Sniffling quietly, not even noticing the tears sliding down your cheeks as you will yourself to pay more attention to the people on the television. Spencer glances down at you, feeling you move closer into his side. His face dropping instantly as he notices the tears sliding down your face. The hopeless look in your eyes going straight to his heart. His hand slides across your shoulder, cupping your face gently wiping away at the tears softly. 

“Love, what's wrong?” He whispers lovingly, his hand staying firmly on your face as you look up at him.

“N nothing bambino, it's the Tv show, it's just so sad” You laugh fakely knowing how bad the lie is, sighing as you shrug your shoulders. 

“That's crap, I know you love pasta, but crying because they add the wrong cheese to the dishes” Spencer half laughs giving you a look, pulling his hand away, as you pull away from him, sitting up straightly. Bubbles meows angrily as she jumps off your lap, running away, Spencer leans over, placing the empty dinner plate and turning the T.V off with the remote. 

~~~

“That's it talk to me” Spencer turns to face you properly, watching you closely, picking up on your body langues. The way it tenses as you straighten up more, turning to look at him, your eyes spinning with emotions. Crossing your legs underneath you, you're trying everything you can to try and seem smaller.

“It's just been a hard week, works been so busy this week, all the shipment for the bookshop is behind and we are so under staff at the moment, it's just getting to me I guess” You exhale deeply, avoiding his stare, instead you focus on the small scratch on the wall behind him. “Also I ran into someone the other day, which brought up some unwelcome memories from years ago I guess, I know I should just get over it because it wasn’t even that big of a deal but somehow they just won’t leave my brain alone” Letting out an mentally exhausted breath, feeling the walls you built up slowly come down. Your hands playing with each other in your lap, helping with your anxiety. “I thought I worked through my issues. I told myself once I was done with them I would never think of them again, but just seeing him again it” Your voice trails off slowly as it begins to waver with sadness and anger, blinking back a few tears that start to appear. Your eyes flick over to Spencers as you feel his hand gently take yours in his. His eyes send a warm, soft feeling into your heart, making you feel safe. His hazel eyes having always had that effect on you since the moment you met him. Smiling softly as you feel the love and affect he can give you with no words. Actions always meant more to you than words ever did. 

“Love, did you really work through your trauma or did you just bury it away and pretend it never existed?” He kept his voice soft and careful of the way he worded it. Studying you closer, watching as the realisation and devastation hits, the light in your eyes slowly disappears.

“Your right, I thought hiding from my problems would fix it” Taking a deep breath as you feel a sharp pain hitting your chest, suddenly a painfully wrenching cry pushes its way out of you. With such a powerful force that shoves you forward, almost off the couch. Spencer moves swiftly, wrapping you up in his arms before you could fall. 

~~~

“I'm sorry I’m so sorry, I shouldn't be crying others have It worse” You ramble through the crying. Trying so hard to fight the breakdown your body is compelling you to have. 

“Stop it, stop it, you need to let it out, it's healthy to let your emotions process and I'm right here I'm not going anywhere” He whispers firmly, his lips pressing against your forehead. His arms around your waist securely, pulling you even further into his chest. Your hands grab ahold of his hoodie, needing something to hold as you break down in his arms. The flashbacks of everything your parents used to say to you growing up, fresh in your mind. The way they use to make you feel, the empty feeling when they wouldn’t show up to your important events. Your brother is always more important than you, to both of your parents. Your father always ignored him as well, work to him was always his number one purpose. But he would still openly love him more than you.

~~~

Trying to shake those memories and feelings out of your mind, taking a deep breath calming yourself down steadily. Listening to your boyfriend's heartbeat and never noticing that something so quiet could be so loud and make the most beautiful pattern in times of need. Slowly you loosen your grip on his hoodie, pulling your hands away to wipe your face. 

“Thank you” Mumbling under your breath as you take a small breath trying to find the strength to face him.

“Don’t need to thank me, I'm alway here for you” Spencer smiles lovingly down at you, as he moves your hair out of your face carefully.

“I know but still I’ve never had someone stay with me when I’ve cried the way I do, It means alot not having to hide my feelings” Smiling lightly, as you move more into a comfortable cuddling position. 

“Well I’m glad you can do that with me now” He smiles back, kissing your forehead, his arms wrapping around you. 

~~~

“So do you want to tell me who you ran into the other day?”

Sighing softly as you lean your head into his lap, closing your eyes.

“I saw my brother out and about with his girlfriend and my niece. So I was going to go over and say hi, but then I saw my dad was walking over to them. He was catching up to have coffee with them” Opening your eyes as you spit the last piece out with venom. Spencer stares down at you with pity and understanding. “Don’t look at me like that” Sighing as you cross your arms. 

“Okay I'm sorry you know i'm just worried about you, but why would your brother be catching up with your dad I thought he didn’t like him either”

“Well he reached up to Stephen a couple years ago, they’ve been trying to mend their relationship ever since then apparently. I just don't get why he would want him back in his life or even in his kids life, why would he want to do that” Shaking your head in frustration. 

“Maybe he's changed?” He shrugs, throwing out some suggestions. Stupid suggestions in your opinion. 

“No way, he's not capable of change” 

“Everyone is capable of changing you just need to allow them time to change”

“He had my whole life, I think that was enough time don’t you?” You retort back, rolling your eyes at him.

“Okay okay, I'm just trying to give ideas here.” Spencer defines himself, running his hand through your hair, calmly.

“Your right, I’m sorry I just thought Stephen would always be on my side when it came to our parents guess I was wrong, oh did I tell you what he said to me once I comfort him in text messages yesterday” Scoffing out, leaning your head further into his hand just like a cat does getting head scratches. 

“What did he say?”

“He told me that they had been meeting up behind my back for years and when I was told that my Nieces birthday party was cancelled last month, well it wasn’t cancelled I was just uninvited because our parents were going to be there and they didn’t want ME to start an argument” Huffing feeling emotionally drained. “I never start the arguments Spence I just stand up for myself, defend myself when I have to but apparently that's not allowed” Whimpering softly as you close your eyes, allowing yourself to sink evenfurther into his body. 

“I know baby, family isn't everything you know that right, I accept you and so will my family as well as my team. Garcia will demand we go to pride parades with her, you're going to love her” Spencer speaks bubbly, trying to lift your mood. Smiling softly as he watches the anger and sadness wash away from your face.  

“Thank you, I can’t wait to meet your team and also your mum one day” you smile up at him hopefully.

“Oh she has been begging me to bring you to meet her everytime I call her, I don't know how much longer we can hold off for” He laughs softly.

~~~

The next morning you were half surprised to wake up with your boyfriend's arms still wrapped around your waist. Normally he always gets called away for a case, so being able to sleep in with your boyfriend is definitely a treat. Smiling softly as you tilt your head up which is resting comfortable on his chest. Watching how peacefully he looks as he sleeps, all the worries and the concerns gone from his mind for a few hours. His messy wavy hair covering half his face, his lips a little swollen from the activities from the night before. The light hickeys on his neck make your chest burn with pride as you take them. Rubbing small circular patterns on his chest, taking deep breaths, breathing in his scent. The weight of all the stress from the last few days having been taken off. All by just having your boyfriend to listen to you and love you without judgement. 

~~~

“Morning love” Spencer's raspy morning voice breaks the silence of the room, smiling down at you on his chest. 

“Mm good morning bambino” You smile up at him, leaning up to kiss him gently. His hands resting softly against your naked back. “How did you sleep?” You ask after you break the kissing snuggling back down.

“Pretty well, better than I have in weeks” He smiles softly, running his hands down your back, leaving a trail of goosebumps. “How was your sleep, beans?”

“It was great, someone tired me out great last night” You tease him, your hand slows down rubbing circle patterns on his chest. 

“Mmm oh did I now?” He smirks down at you, a knowing look in his eyes. His hand slides down from your hair, sliding on to your neck tracing the hickeys he left the night before. Feeling the blood rush to your checks, biting your lips to stop the groan from slipping through your lips.

“Oh yeah you did Spence” Pulling away from the touch on your neck as you roll yourself on top of him. Your hands resting on the bed frame above his head, smirking down at him. He gazes up at you, need and lust in his eyes, licking his lips slowly as he takes you in. His hands come to slide up your back, holding you still as he pulls himself up to sit up properly.

Letting out a small whimper as you grind against him lightly, he laughs quietly as he brings you into another kiss. One of his hands slides up from your back to run through your hair. Yanking at it slightly, because you’re teasing him, grinding against him, smiling cheekily at him.

“Oh no you don’t Amora” Smirking as your hand slides down to his neck. Both of you jumping lightly at the sudden knocking at the door. 

“Just ignored it, it's properly the neighbours asking for something” You whisper leaning back down, kissing him harder as your hand wraps gently around his throat. His hand drops from your hair to slide down your body. Groaning softly into your mouth, letting you regain control over him.

“(Y/n) I know your home, open your door!” A familiar voice yells out banging even louder on the door, making you groan frustratedly as you pull away from your boyfriend.

“Oh for fucksake” Huffing as you look down at the confused look on Spencer's face.

“Ah who is that?”  Spencer asks, his eyebrows raising as he releases his grip on you as you regrettably get off him.

“My brother, please stay in here, this is not how you two are meant to meet” You sigh as you walk out quickly, pulling on some pants.

~~~

The banging and yelling continues at the door as you rush around quickly. Throwing one of your shirts on not having time to button it up as you're opening up the door. 

“Hold on Stephen Im coming” You yell as you yank the door open. Staring up at him irritated, crossing your arms. “Why the hell are you here so early on a saturday morning Stephen seriously” 

“It's not that early, it's 9:30, you should be up by now” Stephen sighs, taking in your appearance as he walks in shutting the door behind him.

“Well I had a bit of a late night, and it was suppose to be a bit of a fun morning before you turned up” You smirk, glaring at him. Earning a disgusting gagging noise in return, along with an eye roll.

“I did not need to know that you have someone in the bedroom right now (Y/n), that's disgusting come on I don’t want to know how many one night stands you have” He shakes his head, disgusted at the thought of his brothers sex life.

“Oh shush It's just my boyfriend, I told you about him, remember?” 

“Oh right sorry, I didn’t realise you two were still serious.”

“Okay well Stephen why the hell are you here, I thought I already told you to fuck off the other day” You sigh allowing your anger to simmer down, leaning against the wall.

“Oh can you just chill out for a little while please, I know what I did was wrong and I already apologised I'm actually here about something else” Stephen exhales already regretting how this conversation is going. He wanted you to be in a more relaxed, forgiving mood before giving you this letter but it was too late to start again.

“Okay what is it, what's going on you have that look on your face” Your eyes narrow watching him closely, curiously. 

“It's about dad, he wants to talk to you he's sor—”

“No, no I don't want to talk about him” Standing up straight, your body becoming more tensen. The concern you have now fading back into the anger that is still fresh in your veins.

“(Y/n) please he's changed hes—”

“Has he changed, or has he only changed for you?” Scoffing lightly as you glare at him, trying to stop your voice from getting too loud. “How many times did you need to correct him on my pronouns or my name huh, he might spend time with you but that doesn’t mean he's changed enough to accept me” Your voice starts breaking a little at the end. Breaking eye contact with your brother as you feel the anger turning into tears.

“I didn’t have to, Dad respected you the other week at the birthday party. He even corrected other people about your pronouns, just give him one more chance” Stephen begs you softly, pulling something out of his pocket, staring at you when you don't respond. “He wrote you a letter, wanted me to give it to you” He held it out to you, but you didn't move to grab it. Your arms shaking mildly, your heart pounding away. The panic rises higher in your chest, making it feel like you're drowning. 

~~~

“Get out” You manage to mumble out, looking over at him finally. Stephen staring at you looking defeated.

“No, (Y/n) please you need to understand how he has changed please” Stephen begs, knowing its falling on empty ears.

“I think it's best you leave now” A voice appears behind you both. None of you had noticed that Spencer had entered the living room.

“I just wanted to explain everything to him” Stephen tries to explain to Spencer, almost begging him to understand.

“And you did that, but now it's time you go, He will text you later” Spencer speaks with a neutral tone. Trying his best to keep calm as he walks towards the door opening it wide for Stephen. Stephen sighs giving up, giving you one final look, as he walks out the door only stopping as he gets to Spencer. Holding the letter out to him with one last pleading look, Spencer takes it with a small nod closing the door behind him. 

~~~

You're lying down on the couch after taking a long hot shower. Calming down after the altercation with your brother early, playing on your phone as you do so. Sighing softly, feeling frustrated, why does your family have to be so complicated. The only family member who was always there for you, you haven't spoken to in months. After having a stupid, pointless argument with. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Spencer asks softly, as he sits near you, looking at you closely, with concern. The argument he had overheard early was wretching to hear. The pain in your voice, the tears and pain on your face hitting straight into his heart. He knows how much you value your brother's opinions, and knowing how much it must hurt you to think he betrayed you by taking your fathers side.  

“Im okay, Im sorry he ruined our morning early” You smile weakly trying to make a joke out of it all.

“It's okay, do you want to talk about” He places a comforting hand in your hair. You move  closer to him, lifting your head into his lap.

“Don’t want to talk about them any more” You shake your head, thinking about your Uncle instead. About how supportive he always is when it comes to family problems, no matter how old you are.

~~~

“I’ve told you stories about my Uncle Dave right?” You look up at Spences, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“The one who also works for the FBI right?” He questions, looking down at you. Confused at the change of subject.

“Yeah him. He was my rock growing up, the only one who ever accepted me for me” You smile lightly, staring up at the ceiling. “He was the best guy I ever had in my life, when my parents let me down he was always there picking up the pieces, he made sure he came to every single one of my events. He knew my parents were never there, he would get so mad at my dad. They used to be best friends, technically Daves my Godfather but I call him my Uncle” You smile increases as you talk about him. 

“He sounds like a great man, he's the one who gave you money to get top surgery right, the one who supported you through university when you wanted to become a writer” Spencer smiles as he sees you become more relaxed, lighting up as you speak about your Uncle.

“Yes him, dad always thought it was stupid but not Dave, he thought it was awesome, he's actually a writer as well” You take a breath as you feel your words leaving too quickly. “Once he retired from the FBI the first time around, he wrote his first book and became a famous author, I guess he inspired me a little bit to follow my dreams” 

“You know you still haven’t let me read any of your writing” Spencer teases you, running his hand through your hair.

“And you never will my love” You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully at him.

“Oh no you will show me one day” He smirks, “Okay, so your Uncle he's back in the FBI now, so what does he do?” 

“Oh I think he's in a similar field to you actually he's a profiler” You stand up, stretching a little feeling Spencer eyes ranking over your body, smirking to yourself. Walking over to your bookshelf that sits by the tv, pulling out one of David Rossi books.

~~~

“Actually he is one of the co-founders of the Behavioural analysis unit, back then it was known as behavioural science unit though, him and my dad found it together” You smile at Spencer as you sit back down but it quickly fades as you meet Spencer's eyes. His eyes fill with shock horror as he takes in the information you have just presented to him. “Spence, are you okay?” Your voice comes out quietly. Thinking or more likely hoping, that maybe he might just be surprised that you're related to famous FBI agents. 

“David Rossi, your uncle?” Spencer's voice comes out slowly, barely above a whisper, his eyes bouncing down to the book in your hand. “That would make Gideon your dad?” He gulps, his eyes widen as he puts the pieces together. Wondering to himself how he never noticed this beforehand, how could he be dating his mentor's son?

“Yeah Gideon, legally my last name” Taking a deep breath trying to decipher what his reaction is meant to mean. “Do you know them?”

“Jason Gideon was my mentor that I’ve told you about” 

“Wait wait wait, the one who got you into the FBI and the BAU unit at such a young age, that one?”

“Yeah him, he never mentioned that he had another child” Spencer's words come out with a mix of surprise and disgust at everything that he is learning about his old mentor and friend.

“I'm not surprised he tried not to mention me unless he had to” Taking his hand as you see it squeeze into a tight fist of anger. “I'm sorry Amore if I realised I wouldn’t have told you the way I did, I didn't put two and two together when you were saying Jason I just assumed it was a different Jason from the FBI” You sigh feeling guilty, upset that you may have just ruined your lovers view of his mentor. You know how much he idolises him and looks up to him. 

~~~

“It's okay, how did I not know your last name Gideon?” Spencer looks at you confused, raising an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side like a lost puppy does

“I normally go by my Mum maiden last name, it was better that why when I was going through university I just kept it that way” you shrug, it wasn’t something you meant to keep from him.

“That makes sense” He nods, still trying to wrap his head around it.

“So um, do you also know my Uncle, well Godfather David Rossi?” 

“Um yeah yeah I know him” Spencer half laughs nervously, looking at you guilty. “I work with him, that's the Dave I refer to, I spend more time with him than I do with you”

You can't help the laugh that leaves you, clapping a hand over your mouth quickly. “No fucking way, seriously?”

“Yeah seriously, Rossi teases me all the time about you, wait until he finds out I'm dating his godson” Spencer rubs his temple feeling the stress arise, grinning wide at you. 

“Oh no no no, We are not telling him anytime soon Spencer no way” Shaking your head, laughing. “Hell no, he will kill you, he might love you but he will kill you, he's way too overprotective some days. He doesn’t even know I’m dating right now”

“What, no you can’t expect me to hide this from him”

“Um yes I do, not forever just for now” You smile at him knowing you will win. “I’ll tell him I'm dating someone and we will break it to him slowly okay, but I love you and he is not breaking anymore of my relationships up”

“Anymore?” His eyebrow raising in concern and fear. “Do I want to know?” 

“Probably not Amore Mio” Chuckling softly as you lean in kissing him.

~~~

As the morning moves on, Spencer leaves to go home, having chorus he needs to get done before he gets called away on a case again. Hopefully if he doesn’t get a case that means another movie night with you tonight. But to fill in the gap of him being gone this saturday afternoon you decided it's time to fix a bridge you broke. Picking up your phone and clicking on his icon, listening to the rings. Waiting with anxiety as he takes his time to answer.

“Uh hey (Y/n) ” Dave answer, completely surprise when he sees your name pop up on his phone. Happiness filling him at once when he saw it, only to be quickly replaced with dread. Hoping that you're not injured or hurt, holding his breath as he waits for your reply.

“Ah hey Dave, um sorry I hope you're not busy, are you?” You ask, biting your lip nervous, trying to stop your words from stumbling. 

“Busy no, I'm free, what's up” Dave's eyes narrow, worry filling up inside of him. It's been months since you two have last spoken.

“Do you fancy a cup of coffee, or maybe milkshakes, so we can catch up” Taking a deep breath “I need to apologise to you, I was unfair the last time we spoke and then avoiding you for months was not cool of me”

A small chuckle is heard on the other side of the line. “Caro its okay, milkshakes sound great”

“Okay good” You smile, letting out a deep breath of air “So our cafe in town, say in an hour?”

“Perfect I’ll see you then kiddo” Dave smiles with relief as he hangs up. 

~~~

You’re already sitting at the table in front of the cafe. Waiting in the sunlight sipping on your milkshake that has already arrived. You had ordered your favourite, along with Daves favourite which is salted caramel with chocolate. Sighing softly as you wait, having arrived early, you knew he wouldn’t be much longer. Your nervousness grew as you waited, wondering how you could explain why you have been ghosting him the last couple months. Deep down you know he's already forgiven you and was giving you space, it’s what he has always done when you two argue. 

~~~

“Ooh you got me my favourite, Angelo” Dave smiles interrupting your thoughts, standing up quickly as you see him approach you. Smiling as you feel your nervousness disappear as your eyes meet his, nothing but love and happiness present in him. 

“Davey Of course I did” You smile as he pulls you into a hug. Relaxing softly as you feel his arms wrap around you. Taking a deep breath, allowing yourself to accept the father hug you've been carving the last few weeks, but too scared to ask for. 

“I'm surprised you rang me” Dave says after you both have sat down, sipping his drink. 

“Yeah, I know it's been awhile since we last spoke, or really since I screamed at you, I'm really sorry Dave” You sigh, playing with your drink as you look up at him. Feeling his eyes studying you closely, a small smile growing on his face. 

“Its okay caro, I should of told you the truth when it all happened but I didn’t want to worry you”

“Dave you got stabbed of course I'm going to worry about you. Hell you're practically my only family, I can’t lose you” Exhaulling as you take a second to calm yourself feeling the rage you felt from the previous argument from months ago returning. “You could have died Dave and you hid that from me just like Dad used to and that scares me. I hated the fact of you went back to the FBI, because I was scared I would lose you, that we would lose touch or you would die, I know that sounds unreasonable but when you didn’t tell me you got stabbed it just felt like we were drifting apart, after all these years” Gulping as you look at him. Finally admitting everything you have been feeling. His eyes soften, his hands unwrapping around his drink leaning over to take yours, that's tapping the table repeatedly, a nervous tic you developed growing up.

“(Y/n) I’m okay, I know my job is dangerous but I know how to handle myself and I am careful when I'm in the field, my team always has my back”

“I know that, and I’m okay with the fact that your back on the team I get it now but I guess at first it was just hard to think why you would want to go back, but after all the stories you have told me, all the good ones I get it” Smiling a little, nodding at him. “Its apart of who you are”

“That it is, but I promise you we will never drift apart, I will always be here for you, no matter how many arguments we have okay, I see you as my son that's never going to change okay” His smile is full of love, giving your hand a small squeeze.

“Thank you, I mean you helped raise me, always being my number one supporter thanks Papà Pasta” You smile, chuckling softly, feeling the conversation getting too emotional. Dave shakes his head laughing at that choice of nickname.

“Is that nickname ever going to stop?”

“Oh never” You smirk cheekily at him as you sip your drink.

~~~

You two sit there drinking your milkshakes, catching up for almost an hour. Him telling you about the recent cases he has been on and your favourite part, the drama in his team. One thing about David Rossi is that he loves to gossip, he can keep so many secrets. But the ones that roam free, he will happily spill to you as long as you listen.

“We are still trying to convince Reid to introduce us to his boyfriend, I’ve never seen him so happy before, It's great to see the kid giving love a proper chance” Dave smiles, he alway gets excited talking about his team. He sees them like family, especially the younger ones, taking them under his wings like they're his own kids. You couldn’t believe you never connected the dots that his Reid is your own Spencer Reid. Half of you wanted to tell him right now that you're dating his co-worker, but he can get too protective when it comes to your love life. He has enough reason to, you have never been good at picking them, and he's had to point it out way too many times. This time you were hoping if you keep it quiet it might work out for once. 

“Aw well, I get him wanting to keep it quiet for now” Smiling softly, thinking about the words Dave has just used. How Spencer is so much happier with you, which just warms your heart. You sip on your drink trying to distract your brain from thinking about him, not needing your Uncle to pick up on anything right now.

“So is that why you haven't said anything about those hickeys on your neck” Dave smirks, sipping his milkshake. He’s been waiting for a moment to tease you about it. You choke lightly on your drink, splattering as you look back up, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. 

“Excuse me, I have no idea what the fuck your on about” Shaking your head quickly, cursing yourself for not hiding it better.

“Hey language” Dave laughs, loving how shy you're going. He had noticed that you had tried to hide the hickey under bad makeup but it is just so easy to see.

“Fanculo” You smirk at him. “Anyway we are not going to talk about my hickeys or who gave them to me because that's weird talking my sex life”

“Okay okay fine, I’ll let it go, only because I'm not like my team and sticking my nose into other people's love life can get annoying” He smirks a little, shaking his head.

“Wait, do you have a love life David?” You wiggle your eyebrows up at him, swallowing down a laugh.

‘Hey hey hey, we aren’t talking about me here” He shakes his hands in front of him dramatically, making you laugh.

“Fine fine”

~~~

“So what's happening in your life?”

“Oh nothing, just work at the bookstore, I’ve had the last couple days off cos I haven’t really been feeling well but Im feeling better now, so back to work monday” Your smile flickers for a few seconds, trying hard to keep it up. But he doesn’t miss it, he already picked up that something wasn’t right, he was waiting for the right time to ask about it. 

“Okay that's it, tell me what's bothering you” Dave sighs, leaning back giving you that pointed look of his, one he’s used many times to get you to spill your secrets.

“It's not a big deal, I don’t want to bother you with this stuff again” Shrugging your shoulders, your voice trailing off as you glance down at the floor. 

“Hey its me, Its Uncle Davey, you can tell me anything it's never a bother” Dave speaks firmly, already having an idea about what this was about. 

“Did you know Jason back in town, He's been having coffee and reconnecting with Stephen and not only that but the other week for his daughter birthday he uninvited me so Dad and Mum could be there with no arguments” You huff out, wishing the anger would return to you but instead your just being hit with feelings of betrayal and despair. “I was looking forward to it for weeks and he lied to me about it being cancelled just so our asshole parents could be there, Mum I could on with for the sake of him but why the hell did dad have to be there, he was never there for us growing up” 

“(Y/n)” Dave starts, his tone soft, careful as he knew you were on the edge. Watching your body tensing up, the way your jaw clenches as your eyes widen holding back the tears.

“No no, I get it he was working but he always picked work over us Dave always. You were there more often than he was” Spitting out the words, as you take a deep breath wiping your eyes hard enough to dry them up. 

“I can’t excuse his past behaviours, nothing can, he should have done better, Stephen had no right to lie to you about it either but” He takes a breath watching your face hardens at his ‘but’. 

“But maybe he's trying now for Stephen and for his kid isn't that a good thing for him?” Dave says, he knows you don’t want to hear it, but it is a good thing for Stephen.

“I don’t want to see him get hurt again Dave, he's been through enough” Shaking your head as you cross your arms, not meeting his eyes.

~~~

“Okay, has he tried to reach out to you at all, is that why you're really upset at him?”

“You know I don’t really like profilers” Scoffing lightly as you let your arms fall to your side. 

“So this is what it's really about huh, he didn’t reach out to you and you want him to?” Dave smiles slightly watching you. You laugh coldly at him.

“No, at first maybe, It's always Stephen before me, I get it he's the better son, the ‘real’ son as they say. At first I was pissed that they had been having coffee for a while without reaching out to me, but then this morning Stephen showed up to my house after our argument the other day and” Exhaling letting yourself calm down, allowing your brain to gather your next words. “And this morning he showed up I thought he wanted to re-explain himself but no turns out, he was there on behalf of our father, he had a letter written for me, I didn’t want to deal with it so I told him to get out, he wouldn't listen, he finally left after my boyfriend opened the door and kicked him out” Groaning with frustration as you tell the story, not even noticing that you slipped up.

Dave sighs annoyed, shaking his head. “He doesn't know when to quit and give you a little bit of space does he, so your boyfriend dealt with him huh?” His lips twitch into a small smirk, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh crap, I let the cat out of the bag didn’t I?” Sighing, smiling a little. “Yes boyfriend, but yeah he had to come in this morning and ruin a perfectly good moment to I will add, with a stupid letter”

“I get this isn’t great but maybe it's time you talk to him maybe he's changed maybe he—” He cut off as his phone rings again. He checks it quickly before declining, placing it on the table, screen down. 

“That's the fourth time your phone rang this afternoon. If you need to go Dave it's okay” You reassure him. 

“No no it's fine, it's just an old friend, I’ll ring him back later” His smile falters a little, distracted.

“Okay, is everything okay?” You watch him feeling concerned.

“Im fine, we are talking about you, maybe you need to give Jason a chance, he might just miss you, it's been years since you have talked” He forced a small smile, avoiding eye contact, a little guilt in his eyes. You study him for a little bit thinking, the whole time you’ve been talking he hasn’t been surprised about anything at all. Normally he isn’t trying to get you to talk and forgive your dad like he is today. It's almost as if he’s already talked to him.

~~~

“You spoke to him, that's who's ringing you isn't it?” You accuse him, eyes widen as everything clicks into place. His face drops as he looks at you guilty, his eyes soften as he sighs lightly. 

“I'm sorry Tesoro, he got in contact with me a couple weeks ago. He knew we still talk and wanted to know the best way to get back in contact with you. I told him not to but after we caught up for a drink last week I noticed he changed. He wants you in his life, he knows how much he has messed up but he wants to make amends” Dave almost begs you to understand as he speaks. Staring at you, his eyes begging you for forgiveness as he studies you closely.

“I, I can’t, no” Shaking your head as you struggle to string words together, staring at him in disbelief. 

“(Y/n) please, I know it can be scary letting him back in your life, but he's changed all we talked about was you and Stephen. It was the first time I have ever talked to him and never had to correct him on your pronouns or names, he even referred to you as his son multiply times”

“That doesn’t make up for anything Dave, not with everything that has happened between us” Shaking your head as you feel the sharp pains stabbing you in the chest.

“I know but it's a start, isn't it?”

“I guess it could be but–”

“No more buts, answer me honestly, do you want a relationship with him?” He stares at you seriously. You look over at the road and watch a few cars drive pass by, thinking. You always dream of having him back in your life. Him calling you his son, spending quality time with him again. 

“Yeah, I think I do” Speaking quietly, looking back over at him.

“Then you need to let him in to allow it to happen, you know that” Dave smiles encouragingly at you.

“I know, I'm just over him hurting me, but I guess I can risk it one more time” You sigh, smiling weakly.

“Good, and if he does hurt you I will deal with him, happily” He smirks at you, tapping his drink with yours.

~~~

“So what's this about a boyfriend huh?” Dave smirks, leaning forward, his elbows perched up on the table resting his chin on his hands. 

“Oh him!” You groan playfully, biting your lip trying to stop the smile from growing too much.

“Yes him, why haven’t I heard about him before, how long has it been going on for?”

“Over five months now, coming up to six months soon, he is amazing, he is so cute he also–” You stop yourself shaking your head. Not needing to tell him anything more about him to your uncle, because he would figure it out Immediately.

“Almost six months and you never told me?” Dave glares slightly “Why are you hiding him?”

“Um well, you know how my relationship are they always go to fast so we wanted to take it slow, plus you always scare them off, not to mention what happened to Jimmy” 

“That's because I worry about you and the ones you pick weren’t good for you, if this guy is the right one then he has nothing to worry about” He smiles gently, before his eyes narrow. “But Jimmy, I didn’t do anything to Jimmy I was just there when his arm broke, that's what happens when he lays a hand on you” He shrugs his shoulders and glances at his phone before his eyes are back at you.

“Right right, you always say you just went to talk to him with Aaron when he merely tripped over” Rolling your eyes smiling a little.

“Exactly, so does this boyfriend of yours have a name?”

“Nope he does not, because I know if he did you would do a background search on him, but I can tell you he works for the FBI as well, so that's a good thing right?” Smirking at him as you see the gears turning in his head.

“Yes good thing so far, maybe I’ve worked with him”

“Maybe you have, you never know. I’ll introduce you one day just a couple more weeks, I just want to get through the family issues first then you two can meet”

“Perfect, then I can have you two over for pasta. He better knows how to cook” You both laugh at that. Shaking your head at the thought of Dave trying to teach Spencer how to cook.

~~~

You're cooking dinner when Spencer walks into your apartment, entering your kitchen.

“Hey Beans, what are you cooking?” Spencer asks, taking a strong sniff of the air smiling at the delicious smell.

“Spaghetti bolognese with fake pasta according to my Uncle” You laugh lightly, placing the dried pasta in the boiling pot of water.

“Only he would say that, wouldn’t he?” Spencer laughs quietly, leaning against the counter beside you. His eyes move over your body, studying you closely, before he left this morning you were a ball of nerves but now you seem completely different. You're more relaxed and joyful instead of stressed and anxiety filled. A grin spreads across your face as you sway along to the music playing in the background as you cook.

“So how was your day, Bambino?” You smile at him, feeling his eyes stuck on you, once more profiling you. It can get annoying most days but you know he doesn't mean to, most of the time and after the last few days events it makes sense for him to be a little worried.

“It was great, I caught up with Ethan at the coffee shop. He's just passing through town but it was great being able to catch up with him properly” He smiles happily, a little guilt in his eyes as he thinks back to the last time he saw him. “You know it's been 5 years since I last saw him, almost two years since we really spoke. I was surprised when he asked to catch up but it was great seeing where he is now with his career,” Spencer smiles, feeling proud of his friend. 

“5 years wow that's a long time, he's the one who lives in New Orleans right?” You glances at him slightly as you stir the dish.

“Yep, last time I saw him was on a case, that case was actually the case that my co-worker JJ met her boyfriend Will, they have a kid now too” He smiles weakly thinking back to that case. “It was also the case that finally pushed me to ask for help with my drug problem, Ethan pushed me to get helped” He looks up at you slowly meeting your eyes. His eyes are full of valuability, he doesn’t like talking about that part of his past. You already knew about his drug addiction, he's opened up a little bit about it but he still feels shamefully when he speaks about it.

~~~

“I'm glad he did, It takes a lot of strength to ask for help and now you're 4 years sober” You smile proudly at him, serving up dinner.

“Almost 5 years In a month actually” Spencer sighs, smiling forcefully. A part of him is still feeling guilty about it all, the memories of Tobias Hankel popping into his mind. His hand rubbing his arms where he was poked with the needle, the feeling fresh on his body. Your eyes catch this movement setting down the pot, taking his hand gently in his. 

“We should celebrate, 5 years is amazing, everyday is an achievement so we should do something to celebrate this” You smile up at him, looking at him proudly.

“Oh I don’t know it's not a big thing” His words trail off when he catches that stubborn look in your eyes, sighing as he smiles softly. “What would we even do?”

“Why don’t we go away for the weekend or we take a day or two off to make a long weekend and go see your Mum, maybe it's time I finally meet her” Shrugging as you think about it, smiling at the idea of finally meeting Diana Reid. Spencer's face lights up, as he nods energetically.

“That is a great idea, I haven’t seen my mum in ages and I really want you to meet her” 

“Then It's settled, we will go and see her and have our first vacation away together” You chuckle leaning forward kissing him lightly.

~~~

After you two have finished eating your cuddle up on the couch watching a nature documentary. Spencer's head resting in your lap, as your hand strokes through his hair as your mind fading away from what's on the screen in front of you. Your mind travels to your father and what could possibly be in that letter, regret setting in that you never took it from Stephen when he was offering it to you. Now you're going to have to ask him for it, is this something you truly want to do, could you really deal with his cockynes right now. Spencer rolls his head over to look up at you, feeling your hand come to a stop in his hair. He was wondering why you have been quiet tonight, normally you like adding small comments throughout it but not tonight. 

“Okay Beans what's on your mind?” He asks, frowning softly as you don't respond, not even looking like you heard him as he calls out to you again. He moves his head off his lap sitting up properly, the movement is what pulls you out of your deep thought looking at him.

“Where are you going?” Looking at him confused as you meet a concerned stare. 

“You were so zone out, you didn’t hear anything I was saying” 

“I'm so sorry I was just thinking about something” Smiling weakly as you glance down at the ground.

“What was it about, if you don’t mind me asking”

“The letter, a part of me wants to know what Jason wrote but the other part of me is scared to know what my father may have written in the letter” Sighing softly looking back up at the tv. “I also really don’t want to have to ask Stepehen for it, not after this morning.” Feeling the couch beside you move, glancing at him as you see him get up, watching him walk towards your bookshelf. 

“Um Spence what are you doing?” Feeling confused as you raise an eyebrow watching his movements. He smirks lightly as he picks up the letter he had placed down there after taking it from your brother earlier. Turning back towards you, sitting beside you holding the letter out towards you without uttering a word, just giving you a soft reassuring smile.

“He gave it to you before he left?” You're stunned as you take it from him. Staring down at your name written on the envelope, having not seen his hand writing in so many years. 

“I thought you would want to read it later, even if you didn’t you still you had the option just in case” His voice is soft as he rubs your lap gently, smiling softly watching you.

“Thank you” You whisper, glancing at him as you place it down on the side. 

“Always” he smiles, wrapping his arm around you.

~~~

It's been two weeks since you received the letter. It took you about a week to finally find the courage to read it, which had torn straight into your heart. Deciding you would reach out to Jason you just needed time to figure out how you would go about fixing your relationship with him. You and Stephen had made up, agreeing that you both were out of line and would try harder to be better siblings. Dave has been asking to meet your boyfriend everytime you two talk, which you know you have to tell him about Spencer sooner rather than later. You haven’t seen Spencer in awhile seeing as he's been working longer cases lately. In the last two weeks you've seen him possibly three times, before he gets called away. You know it's his job, so you don’t mind too much, it just makes you cherish the time you get with him alot more. It was your six month anniversary the other day, but he was away on a case. He felt so guilty for missing it but you reassured him it was okay and that it can be made up when he gets back.

~~~

The Bau team was finally on the Jet back to D.C after a tough case, they were gone for nine days. They had decided to stay an extra day just to help get some paperwork done after catching the Unsub. As they fly back home, the team is in higher spirits than they normally are after a hard case. It could be because they managed to rescue five girls that the unsub had kidnapped or the fact that they had all managed to get a full night's rest last night for the first time in weeks. Or maybe it was the fact that they know when they land they have the next three days mandated off. As they fly back, Hotch is sitting in the back of the plane doing some paperwork, Rossi is sitting opposite him, having a playful argument on his phone. As the other four are playing cards, laughing about something stupid that Reids is trying to tell them, distracting them as he manages to crush them in the game.

~~~

“Alright listen up” Rossi gets up, walking over towards the agents playing games, all their eyes quickly flick up towards him. 

“Rossi I swear, If you're about to tell us that we have another case I will push you off this plane” Emily points her finger threateningly at him. 

“I will happily help you with that Prentiss” Morgan agrees nodding his head as he places his cards down.

“Hey hey hey, that's a bit dramatic don’t you think” Rossi gasps, shaking his head.

“Okay, we’re sorry, what's up Rossi?” JJ smiles softly, as the team chuckles.

“I am inviting you all to my place for a family dinner and drinks at my mansion tonight, Garcia is already getting things organised after begging me on the phone to host it” He chuckles lightly, smiling.  

“Ohh if you're cooking I am definitely in” Morgan laughs smiling. Enjoying the idea of having a relaxing night with the people he cares for. 

“Can I bring Will and Henry?” JJ asks, smiling, liking the idea of a family event.

“Of course it's not family without them, plus Jack is going to be there, he is going to need some entertainment” Rossi shakes his head faintly, always having to reassure JJ that her boyfriend and kid can always come to family events.

“Oh I won’t be able to make it toning, I’m sorry guys” Reid shrugs, sipping his coffee. Hotch turns around at this news to watch, wanting to know what's going on.

~~~

“And why not?” The older man sighs, turning to give Spencer a pointed look.

“Well tonight me and (Y/n) are supposed to be celebrating our 6 months, I missed it the other day so I was going to make it up to him tonight” Spencer explains, avoiding Rossi's look. Recently it has been so difficult to not tell him who he's dating. He's been trying to avoid Rossi at every moment he can, even when they are in the field together. The team quickly noticed something was up, but Spencer managed to come up with a lie about being tired that's why he's been off, no one bought it of course. Maybe that's why Rossi is throwing this dinner tonight trying to fix this weird thing between him and Spencer.

“Serieoly Reid, you have the next three days off, can't you make it up to him on one of those days?” Morgan asks, narrowing his eyes. His behaviour has been worrying the whole team lately.

“I mean I could but I really miss him so I just—” His voice trails off at the look his whole team is giving him.

“Then invite him” Emily states, giving him a look. 

“We want you to come, and we have been begging you to introduce us to him for ages so please Spencer” JJ begs him, giving him her best puppy face, knowing he's a sucker for it.

“I uh” Spencer glances at Rossi quickly catching a confused, hurt look from the man. 

“Okay fine, I’ll ask him if he wants to come, but if he says no can you all back off, please” Spencer sighs, not wanting to put you into a bad spot.

“Of course” Hotch jumps into the conversation giving the team his best over protective dad look. 

“Ring him now and ask” Morgan encourages him, smirking a little. Excited to finally get the chance to meet this mystery man of Reids.

“Fine” Spencer huffs, smiling slightly as he stands up making his way to the back of the Plane for privacy.

~~~

“Hello Amora” You answer the phone happily. Having excused yourself from work, for a break as you see Spencer name pop up on your phone. 

“Hey Beans, uh how are you” Spencer clears his throat as he speaks. Feeling nervous as he talks to you, which you quickly pick up on.

“I'm fine, what's up?” You ask carefully, feeling your eyes narrow with worry.

“Uh I know we have plan tonight, but um”

“Another case really, do you guys never rest?” You ask in disbelief, mouth gaping open.

“No no, no more cases” Spencer is quick to reassure you, knowing how you worry when he and his team work too hard.

“Good, because you need rest, so does your team, your boss works you guys too hard” You let out a sigh of relief. “Okay then what's wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, I just, uh we have been invited over to Rossi tonight for team dinner and drinks”

“Oh, both of us?”

“Yeah they want to meet you, they want take no as an answer any longer, I know it's awkward because he will be there but–”

“Bambino it's fine” You cut him off before he can start rambling, smiling softly, hearing the worry in his voice. “I think it's time I finally met the famous BAU team, Plus I think it's time we told Dave he said you’ve been acting weird the last couple weeks” Smirking lightly, knowing just how awkward he can get when trying to keep secrets from those he cares for.

“Are you sure?” Spencer smiles letting out a breath, feeling at ease.

“Yes I’m sure, why don’t you come and get ready with me at my place before we go over to his mansion, yeah?”

“Okay, I will meet you at yours after you finish work then” Spencer smiles happily. “Bye baby, I love you”

“I Love you to Spence, wow can’t believe i'm going to meet the famous David Rossi tonight” You both laugh, feeling relaxed as you hang up. 

~~~

Spencer walks back towards his team. Hotch and Rossi have now joined the rest of the team at cards. Rossi having stolen Spencer's seat, he now has to sit down beside Hotch, smiling gently as he watches the team play.

“So Reid, are you two joining us tonight?” Morgan asks, glancing at him, smirking lightly.

“Uh yes we will be, they have work but after that we should be able to make it” Spencer smiles at them all.

“Fucking finally we get to meet this guy who makes you all squishy” Emily sniggers, placing her card down. 

“Oh Garcia is going to love this” JJ laughs as she notices Morgan pulling out his phone.

“Already on it, Babygirl is going to flip” He winks at Reid, noticing the kid go red in the face, shaking his head at Morgan. Spencer turns his attention to Rossi who's leaning over Morgan's shoulder reading his texts to Garcia.

“You two concern me sometimes, chocolate thunder” Rossi glances away with playfully disgust on his face as Morgan laughs at him.

“Don’t worry about it old man” Morgan winks putting his phone back down.

“So Reid are you going to tell us how you meet this man of yours or do we have to wait for tonight?” Rossi asks, smirking at him.

“Oh uh” Reid blushes at that memory. “I don’t think that needs to be brought up at all”

“Oh okay, there has to be a good story behind that” JJ smirks, holding back a laugh.

“One that you guys will never know,” Reid shakes his head.

‘Oh don’t worry Garcia will manage to get it from (Y/n) I'm sure she will mange” Hotch laughs knowing when it comes to gossip she is unstoppable. Reid groans, hanging his head knowing it's true.

“Oh I can not wait to hear that story” Emily laughs, watching the dread on Reid's face.

“Okay I'm regretting this already” Spencer shakes his head, picking up the cards that Rossi hands him for the new game. “Oh um by the way Rossi, just as I was getting off the phone with him before he may have said he was excited to meet the ‘famous David Rossi’ he's a little bit of a fan” Spencer laughs along with the team as they watch his face slowly drop.

“Oh no” 

~~~

As you stand in the mirror contemplating on how you wanted to dress for tonight. Should you be more casual and just throw something random keeping it lowkey or wear something that makes you feel more comfortable, more yourself. You knew deep down the team wouldn’t judge you on what you wear, Spencer had reassured you of that, many times. Rossi has even told you that his team is the most welcoming type of people, he's tried to get you to meet them a few times in the past. But you know that they have all met your father so that has always thrown you off a little, but not tonight. Tonight is just going to be about you and Spencer and, of course, your overprotective Uncle. Sighing softly running your hand through your hair, taking a deep breathing to calm your heart that just seems to be having a race with itselfs. 

“Hey beans, are you almost ready?” Spencer asks as he walks out of the bathroom, brushing his hair. Coming to stand behind you in the mirror, tilting his head to the side in confusion as he sees you holding three different tops in your hands. 

“I don’t know what to wear” Sighing softly as you throw them on the bed, turning around to face him looking defeated.

“What's going on?” Spencer asks as he places his hands on your waist, looking down at you. 

“I’m just, Im worried about what your teams going to think about me” You sigh looking down, not needing him to stare into your eyes right now. Because if he does, you would easily spill all your worries to him so easily.

“Baby, why's that? You know my team is going to love you”

“It's just.. It's just what if I'm not what they're expecting?” You whisper out the words, ashamed of the way you're thinking.

“You are exactly what they are expecting, they are expecting someone who makes me feel happy and loved and that is you” He smiles softly, tilting your head up to look at him. Feeling your cheeks burn under his touch, smiling gently as you feel the stress fading from your body. 

“Thank you” You mutter softly as you kiss him lightly, he pulls away slowly smiling.

“Always, now do you need a hand figuring out what to wear?” 

“Please” You smirk lightly, “Do you think they will care if I wear a little bit of makeup, It just, it normally makes me feel comfortable in my skin” 

“Baby they won’t mind at all, Men wear makeup, It's normal. Garcia just might fall more in love with you though” He smirks softly, “And Morgan might be a little jealous of your piercings, he's only allowed his ear pierced at work, but he wants to get his nose pierced but it goes against our uniform” Spencer informs you, hoping it will help calm your anxiety of dressing how you like. The smile and the exhale informs him that he said the right things, giving you a quick peek on the cheek as he steps back. 

“Just relax, wear what makes you happy, I’ll feed Bubbles while you get ready” He smiles as he walks off, letting you get ready. Smiling to himself as he hears you turn your music on as he walks to the kitchen.

~~~

About 30 minutes later, you're both finally in the car, on the way to Rossi places. The rest of the team was already there, Garcia texting him to hurry up, apparently her and Morgan went straight into the tequila. Glancing at Spencer smiling softly as you see him texting them back, he always looks so relaxed and at ease when you drive. Car rides are one of his favourite things to do, he likes listening to the music and audiobooks as he stares out the windows and watches the world goes by. Mainly he only likes it because you're the one driving, it makes him feel safe. 

“Oh God, apparently Garica just found Jaguar but Rossi took it off her to save it for later on in the night” Spencer groans softly which turns into low chuckle, which you join in on.

“Oh I think this Garica person owns my heart already” You chuckle gently as you pull into Dave's driveway, parking in your normal spot by the big tree that hangs over his yard. It's the best place to park seeing as you can stay out of other people's way and no one can park in front of you, making a quick getaway. 

~~~

Deciding to quickly check yourself in the car mirror before getting out, taking a deep breath as you take in your reflection. You had decided to go with your normal makeup routine but adding a little more mascara and blue smokey eyes. Which made your blue lip piercing pop, along with your nose ring. Smiling softly as you take in your makeup feeling confident as you run your hand through your short hair. Glancing over at your boyfriend who is waiting patiently for you, smiling softly at you. His eyes full of love and admiration as he takes you in, the way you always end up being yourself, unapologetically, makes his heart melt. 

“Are you ready (Y/n)?” Spencer asks as he sees you take a deep breath.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that, you're about to meet my uncle slash father figure” You joke lightly as you climb out.

“Oh I think I’ll survive” Spencer laughs as he gets out walking over to you to take your hand. You intwine your fingers in with his as you make your way towards the front food.

“Maybe, I mean he hasn’t killed any of my dates yet, only broken an arm” Exhaling, smirking slightly.

“Im sorry he what” Spence eyes widen in frighten as he comes to standstill, turning to look at you in shock and fear.

“Oh relax, that was only because Jimmy was an abusive dick, you will be fine Amore Mio” Squeezing his hand in reassurance as he takes a deep breath, calming down. 

~~~

As they reach the front door, it suddenly flies open and they’re met with two people in the doorway.

“What the.. Morgan seriously?” Spencer laughs easily. Raising his eyebrow at his best friend who's standing there, with a massive grin on his face.

“That was babygirl not me,” Morgan laughs, indicating at the blond woman in front of him, who's dressed in warm pastel colours. Who's staring up at you with love and fixation on her face, a glass of alcohol in her hand as she makes her way to you.

“No way it's you, you, I love your makeup so much” She screeches with excitement as she finally gets in front of you, pulling you into a hug.

“Hi, I’m guessing this is Garica” Laughing softly as you hug back tightly.

“Oh my god you know me” Garica giggles pulling away as she smiles wide up at you. “Ahh I have been dying to meet you for months, but the boy genius has been insisting on keeping you to himself which sucks” She blabbers on excitedly. The man beside her who you had reconsigned instantly as Derek Morgan, places his hand on her shoulders calmly.

“Baby girl, take a breath we have all night to integrate him for information on his and Spencer relationship just let him settle in first” Derek laughs happily as he looks up at you. 

“It's great to finally meet you (Y/n) I dig the piercing, by the way” He smirks, shooting Spencer a look which is received with a glare and a soft blush from your boyfriend.

“Thanks Derek, Trust me I'm happy I finally get to meet the famous BAU team” Chuckling softly as you hear voices and laughter coming from inside.

“Yeah I heard you're a fan of David Rossi, you like his books?” Morgan asks, smirking at the idea of embracing the old man. You glance over at Spencer giving him a weird look, being met with his cheeky grin instead. 

“I thought telling him you were a fan would completely throw him off” Spencer smirks. Garica narrows her eyes at you both, before meeting Morgan's eyes, who's looking just as confused as she feels.

“Okay, you two have completely lost us” Garica starts, which earns a light shake of the head from you.

“Oh it's okay you guys will understand soon, anyway can I meet the rest of the team now or?” You smirk, raising your eyebrow as they are still blocking the entrance. 

“Oooh yesss the rest of the team is dying to meet you” Garica lights up once again. 

~~~

She grabs your hand, your other hand automatically reaches out grabbing Spencer's, dragging him behind you. Laughing happily as you allow Garcia to drag you both into the house, Morgan follows behind you both, chuckling at the look of horror on Reid's face. She first leads you to the living room where the large glass doors have been open to give more access to the outside area. As you enter the living room you are met with a couple of women and a man who has his arm wrapped around a blonde woman's waist who's smiling happily as they chat away. Their conversation is quickly broken up as they look up hearing people enter the room.

“Oh finally you two show up, I was starting to think Reid got cold feet” The dark haired woman is the first to speak laughing as she teases your boyfriend.

“Oh I think he was  definitely close to bailing on the way here” You joke back, as you slide your hand out of Garcia's grip as you reach the small group of people.

“Hey no I wasn’t” Spencer stumbles over his words, looking at you playfully offended.

“Aw sure sure bambino” Teasing him softly as you squeeze his hand softly, smiling lovingly up at him. You feel more comfortable around his team than you originally thought you would, a part of you still feels like a jumbo mess of nervousness as you wonder where your Uncle is. 

“Ooh that's Italian, Rossi is going to love you” The blonde lady smiles, giving you a small once over before glancing at the other woman smirking, trying her best to be subtle. But Spencer catches the look going red in the face as he realises the team is giving their approval on his partner, making him feeling all nervous and hot. 

“Oh the Italian man, he will love me” You smirk to yourself, earning a few laughs from the team.

“Im Emily by the way” The dark haired woman introduced herself. “I already know your name, Reid loves to mention you every chance he has” 

“Okay can we maybe try to not embarrass me tonight please” Spencer begs as he rubs his temples laughing awkwardly, the rest of the team shaking their heads laughing at his expression.

“Oh no that's the whole point of meeting the team Amore, I need more stories of you” Smirking softly, as you turn to the team. “Please tell me you guys have a lot of embarrassing stories of him you can tell me tonight”

“Oh plenty,” Emily laughs.

“Ohh where do we start?” Garcia giggles evilly as sips her drink.

“How far back do you want us to go?” The blonde woman joins in, smirking. “Im Jennifer by the way but everyone calls me JJ, this is my partner Will”

“Hey there” Will smiles lightly as he nods.

~~~

You smile softly as you look around, taking them all, relaxing. Your boyfriend was right, Everyone here seems so friendly and judgement free. Making you feel so at ease as you relax into the environment.  

“It's great to meet you all, I feel like I already know you guys with the amount of stories I have heard” you smirking, knowing half the stories are mostly from Dave who still hasn't made an appearance yet. 

“Oh is that a good thing?” Derek asks, his face is pulling into a silly terrified face making you and Garica laugh.

“Maybe, maybe not” You tease him, smirking. Soon your conversation is interrupted by a little boy, around the age 4, running in towards the group of adults. 

“Mummy!!” The boys yell excitedly running towards JJ smiling widely, as she looks down watching him run in from the outside area. Where you can see another boy and another grown man out there. 

“Henry inside voice baby” JJ smiles, picking up the young blond boy as he reaches her. “What's up baby?” She smiles down lovingly at the boy in her arms. 

“I wanna show you and daddy what me and Jack made” The boy giggles happily, glancing between his mum and dad.

“Alright buddy, why don’t you lead the way and show us yeah” JJ smiles more, her face lightening up as she speaks to her boy. Henry nods, wiggling his way out of her arms, making his way to the ground. 

“Come on mummy and daddy come on” He giggles and goes to run back outside when the group's soft laughter gets Henry's attention. 

“Auntie Penelope join us” He gasps softly as he grabs her hand, pulling her out of the room, not allowing her to answer. 

You laugh softly with the others as you watch the small boy boss the three adults around, making their way outside. 

“He's such a little bossy little thing” You smirk watching them, noticing just how close this team truly is.

“Just like his mum” Derek laughs

“Just like his Dad” Emily laughs harder, realising how in sync she is with Derek. 

“I do wonder what those kids are up to though” Derek wonders out loud as he wanders over to join them on the patio. 

~~~

Suddenly it's just you, Spencer and Emily standing there looking over at the place the group has moved to.

“So where is David Rossi hiding?” You ask, smirking, looking up at Emily.

“Well he went down to his wine cellar earlier just before you two walked in so he should return soon” She smiles lightly sipping her drink. “I heard you're a fan of his?” You couldn’t help but laugh at her, shaking your head slightly.

“Oh Dave is my favourite profiler and one of the best true crime novels” You chuckle lightly, sarcasm sipping into your words as you speak. Spencer laughs, shaking his head at you glancing down at the ground. Emily stares at you confused, about to ask a question when she's interrupted.

“This is a surprise” A shocked excited voice greets you from behind. Turning around quickly to meet with your uncle smiling happily at you.

“Hey Davey” You smile lightly, all your nerves coming to the surface. 

He brings you into a light fatherly hug, kissing your cheek lightly. “What are you doing here (Y/n)” Dave asks as he pulls away. You smile softly, gulping lightly as you glance over at Spencer, quickly your eyes back on your Uncle.

“My boyfriend invited me to meet his team” You smile nervously, biting your lip to help calm yourself down. Spencer tenses up forcing his smile to stay put, but it slowly fades as he watches Dave's reactions. The speed at which Spencer's heart is racing makes him reconsider whether it could be possible that a heart can explode out of someone's chest. 

Dave's eyes have narrowed so far down, once he had registered the words you had uttered out. His face hardens instantly, turning his attention to Spencer. His mouth parting slightly, but no sound leaves as he tries to find the right words to say to the young boy looking terrified at him.

“Boyfriend?” is the only word Rossi says, but it's enough to double the tension in the room. 

“I uh.. Well y yeah we are together” Reid struggles to form a sentence under the death glare of Rossi.

“Dave um.. Look we” Your words die in your throat as the glare moves onto you for a short second. There's something hiding in his eyes as he glances back at Reid, something you are struggling to read. 

“Your dating him?” Rossi speaks lowly, almost threatening as he stares danger at Reid, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Seeing Rossi smirk a little, when sending a shiver down your spine remembering the last time you saw that look in his face.

“Run, Spencer run” You turn to look at your boyfriend, slapping his arms lightly. 

~~~

Spencer's eyes widen like a deer caught in a headlight and in a split second he's turning around and sprinting towards the door leading to the backyard where everyone is. Spencer jumps clear over the coffee table trying his hardest to get outside the quickest way possible. You can’t help the laugh that escapes you as you see Dave chase after him, with the biggest smirk on his face. 

“Morgannn” Spencer squeaks out, as he rushes towards Morgan who's in the middle of the backyard. His yell captures the attention of Morgan and Garcia who are dancing playfully together entertaining the two children and the adults standing on the patio. Who are now staring in confusion at Rossi as they see him chase after Reid catching up to him quickly.

You're barely able to hold it together trying to control your laughter as you watch the scene play out in front of you. Emily laughing along with you sipping her wine, having put the pieces together of who you could be to Rossi, and she was living for this drama.

Spencer, having reached Morgan, is now hiding behind him, holding on to his shoulders to keep him in front of him a shield. Morgan is holding up his hands in a “I surrender’ or more like a ‘Keep me the fuck out of this’ type of way. Morgan is just a sack of confusement and almost at a lack of words for this strange situation as he has Rossi in front of him. Who seems to be staring and wanting to scream at Reid for some unknown reason, but Morgan can easily read the amusement in Rossi's eyes.

~~~

“What the hell is going on here” Morgan asks, staring at Rossi, rolling his shoulder back trying to get Reid to loosen his tight grip. Glancing over at Garica who just has the same confused look on her face but she can’t stop giggling at the scaredly confused look on her Chocolate thunder's face.

“He's trying to kill me!” Reid exclaims dramatically, popping his head up over Morgan's shoulders.

“I'm not going to kill you Reid, not yet at least now come here” Rossi huffs annoyed, smirking at the look on Reid's face. Reid looks scared but there's a soft relaxed almost amused look on the kids face as well. Reid would always know that Rossi would never hurt him badly.

“Never thank you, I’m choosing life” Reid grins terrified.

“So am I” Morgan sighs, grabbing Reid by the wrist pulling him to the front of him, getting tired of being a human shield. “What did you even do, pretty boy?”

“More like who” Reid grumbles, his eyes widens even more as he realises that Rossi is walking even closer towards him so he quickly takes off running again.

“Reid!!!” Rossi yells annoyed and starts chasing the younger boy again, they start running around in a circle. Morgan and Garica shake their heads in confusion as they walk over to where JJ and Will are, hoping that they might have a clue as to what is going on. 

~~~

Your laughter slowly dies down as you sip on your drink. You and Emily finally decided to join the rest of the group outside on the patio. Everyone watches as your boyfriend and Uncle run around in a circle, occasionally stopping to yell words at each that no one seems to be able to hear being so far away. 

“Um, why is Dave trying to kill Reid?” A confused voice interrupts everyones watching time. You turn around to see who the new voice belongs to, breaking out in a new giant smile as you see Aaron standing there staring at the scene with a bemused look on his face.

“Oh my gosh Aaron?” You grin up at him, his eyes quickly shots over to you. The confusion quickly clearing up, grinning widely as he sees you.

“(Y/n), now that makes sense” He laughs lightly as he pulls you into a quick hug, which you return happily. “How have you been, kid?” He asks you as you two pull away, the team watching you two closely. Everyone's confusion just keeps getting higher as they watch their normally up tight unaffectionate unit chief, pull Reid's Boyfriend into a hug as if he's known you for years.

“I'm doing great Aaron, how are you going, how's Jack been?” Your thoughts automatically go to his son, who you use to babysit a lot and only stopped a couple years ago.

“He's great he should be around here somewhere” As if on queue Jack quickly runs from where he was playing in front of the group and towards his father.

“Dad guess what” Jack giggles and quickly stops as he spots you “(Y/N)!! It's you” He squeals, as he turns from his father and jumps up at you for a hug. Which you quickly accept, picking him up into your arms.

“Hey Jackie” You grin at him “I’ve missed you”

“I missed you too (Y/n/n) oohh I have so much to tell you” Jack grins up at you. Oh how you forgot how much the kid owns your heart.

“Well kid looks like you have all night to catch me up yeah?”

“Yesss” He grins at you as you place him back down. 

~~~

The conversation is broken up by Spencer and Rossi walking back over to the group laughing like complete idiots.

“Who's ready for pasta?” Rossi asks, ignoring everyone's questioning looks.

“Uh are we not going to get any answer as to whatever that was first?” Morgan asks, staring at them like the idiots they are.

“Nope food and more alcohol first” You speak up laughing at them as Spencer walks over to you wrapping his arm around you, leaning down to kiss you softly. A chorus of awws and cheers breakout through the group making you laugh as you pull away from him.

“Ew please don't do that in my house” Rossi groans as he walks to the kitchen. Making you break out in laughter once more as you follow him in leaving the group of confused people to follow in after you.

As the group makes its way to the kitchen where Dave has the pasta all ready to be served, taking a seat at the bench on one of the stalls closer to the end of the island. The team slowly comes to surround the kitchen, Spencer passes you a new drink as he stands behind you, his arms coming to wrap lovingly around your shoulders, allowing you to lean back into him.

“Aww you two are just the cutest” Penelope exclaims as she sits beside you smiling brightly at you two. You turnt  her with a big grin on your face.

“Oh we know but thank you” You chuckle softly, sipping on your drink looking over to Dave who's shaking his head. A soft loving smile on his face as he walks around the kitchen grabbing the utensils and plates for dinner. As the team surrounds the bench all taking a seat or standing at the end of the bench, all with a drink in their hands. The two little boys settled on the table in the corner of the room, colouring in as they wait for their food. The room is buzzing with chatter and laughter from the group, you don’t find it hard at all to slip into the rhythm of the group of people around you. 

~~~

“So Rossi, what's on the menu for tonight?” Emily asks as the attention is soon brought to the pasta set down in front of them. The warm smell of pepper and cheesy pasta starts filling the room.

“Spaghetti alla carbonara” Dave smiles proudly, as he starts putting some onto plates and walks over to the kids setting it down in front of them, who start cheering happily.

“Ohhh wait thats my favourite” You pipe up licking your lips as your mouth starts to water.

“Oh I know” Rossi smirks at you, his eyes full of mischief, chuckling softly as he sees the realisation settle on your face.

“You flipping knew didn’t you” It wasn't a question as you stare at him in disbelief only for him to chuckle more at you.

“Wait, how did you figure it out?” Spencer asks him, staring at him clueless.

“Oh come on it wasn’t hard” Dave laughs, shaking his head at them. “Oh come on, you two have been dating for the exact same time, both a lot happier recently. Your boyfriend works at the FBI and whenever I mentioned Reid you would avoid eye contact or your smile would grow” He looks at you pointedly, you want to argue with him but being at a loss of words you just close your mouth in retreat “And you” Rossi starts, turning to look at Reid. “Your boyfriend has the same name as my Godson, seriously, you’ve been avoiding me the last couple weeks Reid and then today on the Jet it wasn’t hard to put together” Dave can’t help but laugh at the look of surprise on both the boys face.

“I thought we were hiding it well” You argue weakly, pouting softly.

“Not at all,” Rossi smirks, passing plates of food around the group.

~~~

“Wait Godson, that makes so much sense” JJ laughs softly, staring at you three along with the rest of the team.

“Oh right I guess no one had told you guys yet” Aaron chuckles, shaking his head at you lot, taking his plate from Rossi.

“Wait, you knew he had a godson?” Morgan questions turning his attention to his boss.

“Oh yeah I knew who (Y/n) is, he’s also Jack's favourite babysitter” Aaron smirks looking at everyones confused little faces. 

“Wait so you seem to be quite close yet we are only just finding out about you now, why is that?” Emily asks, leaning forward sipping her wine.

“Oh I'm really good at being kept a secret, it all started with my parents” You laugh quietly to yourself trying your hardest to keep the bitterness out of your voice. Even if the room wasn’t filled with profilers, it wouldn’t take much to figure out what you said had made Rossi, Hotch and your boyfriend all tense up.

“Right, well on the cherry topic here's your dinner Angelo” Rossi clears his throat handing over your plate of dinner.

“Thank you Papa Pasta” You smirk cheekily at him as you reach over to grab it from him, only to be given a disapproving look.

“Papa pasta?” Garcia burst out laughing alongside the rest of the room, who couldn't contain themselves after seeing the look on Rossi's face.

Rossi takes the plate away from you and passes it to Morgan instead who is the last to get his food.

“Hey!!” You exclaim, staring at him trying your best to keep a straight face.

“I told you to never use that nickname again” 

“Oops my bad!” You laugh lightly, smiling brightly at him. “Can I please get my dinner please?” The room seems to be holding back their laughter now as Rossi rolls his eyes passing you a new plate of pasta.

~~~

As the night goes on with laughter and funny borderline embarrassing stories of the team, it may have only been hours but you're already starting to feel like a part of the gang already. Soon the group has made its way to the living room, spreading over the couches, Will had left not long after dinner taking both boys home for a sleepover. You're sipping your drink leaning your head into Spencer’s shoulder, allowing yourself to feel happy and enjoy the night. Your face was burning with how much you have been smiling and laughing throughout the night.

“And that is why we never let Reid and Morgan go alone together to get food on a case” JJ finishes telling the story, no one in the room could contain their laughter anymore. Spencer tries hiding his bright red face behind your neck, laughing softly as he does so. 

“Hey hey it was not our fault how were we supposed to know we would accidentally order 2 bags full of ketchup” Morgan argues playfully loudly, the alcohol running through his system making his voice louder than usual. 

“Oh come on sugar what did you expect?” Penelope giggles, resting her head on Morgan's shoulder. Her cheeks are bright red due to the alcohol, smiling widely as she stares up at Morgan.  

“There is a story I would like to know” Emily speaks smirking, turning to look at you and Spencer.

“Oh no Emily, I told you not to ask, '' Spencer groans as he brings his face back out from behind your neck.

“Fine I won't then” Emily wiggles her eyebrows giggling softly. Staring at her in confusion you glance at your boyfriend feeling the whole room watching you two silent laughing at your reaction.

“I will then. So (Y/n) how did you two meet?” JJ giggles tipsy, sipping on her drink as she leans into the couch staring at you.

You couldn't hold back the groan of regret that slips through your lips as you hang your head backwards. Why did they have to ask that question, that night you meet Spencer had been full of regret at the time.

“Oh I know that look” Dave chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. “Tequila or vodka?” 

“Both, and way too much of it” You groan, closing your eyes, hearing the room start laughing at you once more.

“You were so drunk” Spencer teases you lightly, thinking back to the night.

“At least I didn’t vomit all over my shoes” You shoot back. Opening your eyes to glare jokingly at him.

“No you were classy and vomited into a bush after walking straight into a pole” Spencer laughs harder, smiling lovingly at you. You shake your head at him as you look at him getting lost in his eyes, smiling more as you take in all his beautiful features. 

“Awww you two are so in love” Penelope giggles drunkenly, her voice pulling you out of your drunken glaze. Turning your attention back to the room, blushing deeply as you notice everyone staring at you.

“Yes they are” Dave rolls his eyes standing up. “Who needs another drink, I know if I do if I'm going to hear this story” 

“Ohh I do” Emily smiles more 

“Me to” You agree, smiling. “I believe I heard someone found a Jaguar earlier” You smile cheekily up at your Uncle, just hoping he would bring it out.

“Fine” Dave sighs but then smirks at Reid. “Only because your boyfriend here is sober and is going to have to be the one to deal with you once you start drinking that shit” Dave chuckles at the look of fear on Reid's face.

“Oh please no” Spencer groans. Earning a soft slap on the thigh, followed by a kiss on the cheek.

~~~

Once everyone has fresh drinks, and is all settled back down again the story of how you and Spencer meet is brought up once more.

“So you two were drunk when you two met?” Morgan smirks looking at Reid. “When do you ever drink Reid?”

“For one I wasn’t drunk at the beginning, and two we first meet about two years ago through some mutual friends, it was a special occasion”

“You just kept doing shot after shot trying to impress the cute blonde with blue eyes” You laugh as your boyfriend turns as red as a rose. 

“Yeah but then it turns out she was a bitch” Spencer shrugs smiling down at you in his arms, it almost feels like it's just you two in the room when you stare into his eyes.

“Woah did Spencer just call someone a bitch?” JJ gasps dramatically, placing her hand over her chest.

“I think our boy genius did, ooh someone was being bad huh?” Emily chuckles lightly leaning into JJ side. The alcohol makes her tired and turns her into a cuddling mood.

“She was being a homophobic, transphobic fuck so my knight in shining armor decided to stand up for me” You smile happily, not even realzing you had just outed your self. You wouldn’t have known except the room went quiet for a few brief seconds.

“Wait your trans” Penelope breaks the silence. Her voice radiating excitement, looking at you with a huge grin on her face.

“Trans and proud of it” You smile back at her. You never notice the proud smiles and looks that Rossi and Hotch share with each other, as they see just how far you come with your self acceptance journey. 

“My brother’s also transgender” Penelope shares excitedly.

“Really that's so cool” You smile more, relaxing more into Spencer's arms.

“Hey you never told us that babygirl” Morgan smiles softly, before turning his attention back to you and Spencer. 

~~~

“So what Spencer, you decided that someone was hurting your boy, so you had to rescue him huh?” Morgan smirking teasingly at Reid.

Spencer clears his throat, his face heating up again. “Oh uh something like that”

“Oh no what happened?” Aaron asks, keeping his laughter at bay as he recognises that look of embarrassment and regret slipping on to the younger boy's face.

“Oh well…” Spencer trails off.

“He decided that he would, while drunk spout off some statistics about how homophobic people end up and alone and proceed to call her a slut in front of the whole bar and then she throw her drink at him and we both got escorted out of the bar after that” You laugh loudly as you remember the look of shock on his face that night. The alcohol that slipped down his lost puppy dog face, as the bouncer grabbed his arm and pushed you both out of the bar. 

“You two got kicked out of the bar?” Emily asks between her laughter, because of course Reid would be the one to get kicked out for starting a bar fight by talking statistics.

“Attaboy Reid” Dave cheers, smiling proudly at the kid. Dave already approved of you dating Spencer but the fact that the kid stood up for you only hours after meeting you, made him realise that he is the one for you.

“It was a hell of night, after that we went to another bar just us two and did shots for the rest of the night until it closed” You grin sipping on your drink, finishing it again. Spencer is quick to get you a refile, picking up the bottle that lays beside you topping up your glass.

~~~

“So if that all happened two years ago why did it take you two ages to start dating” JJ questions curiously.

“Well I had just broken up with my ex and went through a bit of a rebound sex for a few months after that” 

“Was that after you broke up with Caleb?” Rossi interrupts you, giving you a disgusted look.

“Yes Caleb, I know you didn’t like him” You sigh rolling your eyes.

“You did have shit taste in men (Y/n)” Aaron adds in, defending Rossi.

“Hey! I expect this from Dave but you Aaron that just mean” You pout at him earning a soft laugh from the man.

“I feel like there is so much we don’t know about you (Y/n)” Emily stares at in awe.

“You need to get more alcohol in me then you will know everything” Chuckling softly as you smile at the girl.

“Okay wait I still haven't gotten my whole story yet” JJ complains, her words smushing together lightly, due to the alcohol.

“Oh right right sorry JJ’ Emly quickly apologies encouraging you to continue.

“Okay well after that night out me and Spence decided to keep in contact soon we became pretty good friends, hanging out when we could with our busy schedules, after about a year I started releasing I was falling for him, so well..”

“He decided to ghost me for weeks on end instead of just adamant how he felt, it took months for me to finally get him to admit he was heads over heels for me” Spencer smiles proudly as he finishes telling the story.

“I should have realised earlier that you felt the same way seeing as you've been pining after me for the last two years” Teasing him softly. Closing your eyes slowly, tiredness running through your body. Spencer presses his soft lips to your head as he sees your eyes drifting close, knowing how exhausted you can get after drinking.

“Aw that is adorable” JJ giggles, nudging Emily lightly grinning at her.

“Who knew Spencer would look so cute being used as a pillow” Emily laughs at him. Only for Spencer to glare at her, trying his hardest not to smile at how cute you look in his arms.

“He's also a really comfy pillow” You laugh quietly, smiling widely. Opening your eyes in a haze.

~~~

“Hey uh guys” Aaron calls out trying his best to stop his laughter, which is slipping throughout his words. Everyones turns their attention to look at what Aaron seems to be pointing at. Which is a sleeping Derek and Penelope curled up together on the couch snoring softly. The team has to try to control their laughter when they see them, just sleeping peacefully doing their best not to wake them.

“Oh someone please take a picture of that so I can tease them tomorrow” Spencer whispers giggling softly.

“On it” Rossi smirks, pulling his phone out, taking a few photos of their tangled bodies on the couch.

“Hey, does anyone have a marker?” Emily grins up at the room.

“Prentiss, no” Aaron sighs, shaking his head with a playfully smile.

“Prentiss yes, I know where they are” Laughing quietly as you stand up wobbly, walking out quickly your legs shaking under you. You know the amount of alcohol you have consumed tonight you might regret in the morning. You return quickly with a handful of markers handing a couple to Emily as you walk past her and over to the sleeping bodies.

“Did you go into my study?” Dave stares at you in shock, noticing that you have the good quality markers.

“I did, that's where the nice stuff is” Smirking at Emily who's kneeling beside you, who giggles quietly glancing back at Dave instantly recognizing the unimpressed look on his face.

“(Y/n) I think you're my spirit animal” She whispers quietly as she starts drawing a moustache carefully on Morgan's face.

“Well thank you” Smiling brightly as you go and drawing kitten whiskers on Penelope cautiously, so as to not wake her.

Soon JJ has joined you both and is drawing on Morgan's arms grinning as you all come up with silly things to draw on them.

“Okay that's enough” Dave sighs standing above you five, holding a pile of blankets. “Give me the markers and you three can stay the night in the spare bedrooms” 

“But Uncle Daveee we aren’t finished yet” You whine softly, staring up at him pouting.

“Yes you are now up, I’ve already made sure your bedroom is ready for you (Y/n) now come on” He sighs, placing the blanket down, taking the markers off you and the two girls. Which results in all three of you pouting and whining for them back.

“They're like children” Dave huffs looking over at Hotch for support but he just laughs at the poor man's looks.

“They are your responsibility tonight Dave, I'm off duty” He chuckles while sipping on his drink.

~~~

“Fine we will get up” JJ sighs, standing up grabbing Emily hand pulling her up with her.

“Fineee I'm up” Emily mumbles, walking back over to where the alcohol was. “Wait where's the alcohol go?”

“I put it away, it is bedtime” Reid laughs, shaking his head at his coworkers drunken state, his eyes coming to land on you. Seeing you swaying on the spot as you stare at the wall past everyone, you were now growing quiet which was starting to worry him. He knows how you get when you are tired and drunk, your emotional side tends to slide out. He walks over to you, slowly wrapping his arms around your waist resting his head on your shoulder. 

“You ready for bed darling?” He whispers softly into your ear.

“Yeah” You breath out, leaning into his touch. He lets go of your waist, taking your hand in his as he walks back over to the group of people. The blankets are now covering the sleeping Penelope and Derek who haven't even woken once yet. Emily and JJ are holding onto each other giggling softly in their drunken hazy having a hard time trying to stand still.

“You two are going to need help getting up those stairs” Aaron repates smiling softly, shaking his head at JJ.

“Nooo Hotch we got this” JJ giggles turning around taking Emily's hand trying her hardest to walk straight to the staircase but they both end up stumbling and almost tripping over, again. If it wasn’t for Aaron who managed to grab her arms stabilise her.

“Okay maybe we need help” JJ laughs more, her eyes fluttering close.

“Okay JJ I gotcha ya” Hotch laughs lightly, wrapping his arm around her back. He has been enjoying tonight, watching his team having a night of relaxation. They need it after all the trauma and hard cases they have to deal with.

“Dave, do me and Spence get my old bedroom?” Muttering softly as you watch him try to stop Emily from falling over she lets go of JJ.

“Yeah Kiddo, that room will always be yours” Dave smiles softly, notices the secure grip Spencer has on you. Dave couldn’t be more happy that the two of you finally found each other.

“Wait, you used to live here” Spencer asks softly.

“Nah, well kind of, I use to crash here weekly when I grew up, to get away from my transphobic fuck called parents” Grumbling loudly as you let Spencer help pull you past his team and up the stairs to your bedroom.

~~~

Yor bedroom hasn't changed much since you were a teenager. The draws still have pictures of you and a few old friends on it, along with photos of you and Dave, even some including Stephen as well. Smiling softly as you sit down on the bed kicking your shoes off, watching as Spencer walks over the draws, looking at the photos you have on them.

“I haven't seen many photos of you as a kid” Spencer smiles softly as he looks at them. Noticing that in every photo you always have tilted your head to the side slightly, it's his favourite thing about how you look in photos.

“I don’t like photos of me, but these ones are special to me” You smile, your heart filling with love as he turns back towards you smiling more at you.

“But you're so adorable in every photo” He smiles more as he sits on the bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you pulling you into his chest.

“Gosh I love you Spencer” You whisper closer to your eyes, feeling safe in his arms.

“I love you to (Y/n), Let's get some sleep, yeah?” He whispers back, laying you both down.

“I never thought I would bring a guy I truly love back here you know” Speaking into the silence of the room. “This is my safe place, I never bring anyone here because I knew they weren’t the right fit for me you know, but you're different Spence. I think you're the one” Speaking slowly, your words fill with love and affiliation, tears swarming in your eyes. The room falls silent again, thinking you might have overstepped a boundary. Opening up your heart too much, telling him he's the one for you might have been too much, especially while drunk.

“Thank you.. For telling me I know that's hard opening up, I feel the same way with my team it's why I’ve never intrude them to anyone I’ve dated before because when I did, I wanted it to be the right one” He smiles softly, squeezing you gently as he had felt your body tense up as he took his time thinking of the right words to speak.

“I'm so glad we have each other Spence” Smiling gently, leaning over to kiss him softly. “Goodnight Amore Mio”

“Gooodnight love”

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Tag Game: Favorite Female Characters

I was tagged by @neuroticbookworm

I am also going to limit myself to QLs because that's 99% of what I have been watching lately, and haha whoops, turns out this is just my Favorite Japanese QL ladies cause uh...

Propaganda

Kayoko

She's as cheap as Shiro and serves both as his shopping buddy, friend, and provides some really lovely insight in to motherhood from time to time that I think has helped Shiro understand his own mother better. I am obsessed with her, she's just the brightest, happiest, open hearted woman who just so happens to be absolutely ridiculous on rare occasion (shout out to her panic after Shiro ate a watermelon a little too sexily in her presence)

Grocery Story Worker

Absolutely obsessed with this woman that has an absolute chokehold on Shiro despite saying roughly 4 words to him over the course of 24 episodes and two films of What Did You Eat Yesterday? She will call Shiro out when he's being an asshole in as simple a way as just pointing to the discount announcements, while also watching his back all the fucking time and making sure he gets discounts on the food he wants, or uses psychological warfare (aka Shiro's obsessive need to get deals on food) to control which food Shiro takes home from the grocery store. Hands down one of the greatest reveals of this entire show is that she talks to Kenji all the time while she has never spoken a word to Shiro in almost eight years.

Sakuko

SHE IS JUST THE SWEETEST OKAY. She knows herself so well, she knows what she wants, and she doesn't have to be alone anymore, or deny herself of having family just because she's aroace. Human embodiment of sunshine this woman is. God I love her.

Kasuga

I am incredibly, desperately in love with this woman. She is so kind, and I am so proud of her for the value she places on herself and the things she wants in spite of the way she was treated by her father as a child. I love that she sticks up for herself when it counts, and that she has found herself so many people that care about her for who she is without trying to force her to be something less than she is, to eat less than she does, to come out of her shell more, or to perform for them in some way. Seriously if you haven't seen She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat you absolutely need to start watching it. And just know that I already have a ring purchased and ready to give to Kasuga should she ever change her mind about Namoto.

Miki

I have already put her in to a favorite character poll, knowing she would lose because of how few people were likely to have watched this show. But let this be a sign to you that I love this woman with my whole being. She is such a bitch, and I am obsessed with her.

tagging: @happypotato48, @solitaryandwandering, @ginnymoonbeam, @shortpplfedup, and @bengiyo

[doberbutts]

My parents are here visiting and also helping me build my actual fence and due to our parents' age my siblings and I have this unspoken agreement between us to call each other when our parents travel to visit, so my sister calls me about an hour after they were scheduled to arrive to make sure they actually reached my house safely (they did)

And mind you I haven't actually spoken to my sister with voice for more than a year. We primarily text each other once a week or so. So our conversation goes like this:

Me: hey [redacted] what's up

Her: whoa. Am I on speaker phone?

Me: no?

Her: holy shit your voice is deep as fuck now what the hell

Me: yeah it's been about 10 months

Her: so when are you getting your boobs chopped off [she is joking this is typical sibling humor between us]

Me: consult in October and we'll go from there

Her: hell yeah and then you can get a sick chest piece, I'll get you numbing cream to make it easier for you

Me: haha yeah I'm planning to do that to cover the scars, doesn't make any sense to do it right now anyway

Her: oh yeah are mom and dad there

Me: yes I'm looking directly at them

Her: cool ok well please don't let dad chop off any additional fingers since at this point he only has 9 and 1/4 left [he does, in fact, only have 9.25 fingers due to accidentally cutting off large portions of his fingers two seperate times while using a saw, and we have tormented him endlessly for it]

Me: I'll have you know he handled a saw earlier today and did not in fact cut off any more of his fingers

Her: well there's still time, he has 4 more days up there to do something stupid

[not-5-rats]

My Bodie x Warren fic is at over 2000 words, they haven't even properly spoken yet- (slow-burn ❤️) hope you're all excited to read it 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Anyways, Questions/Scenarios!!!! (Mostly stupid lil things lol)

1) Can your Bug whistle?

2) Acting! AU

Let's be realistic for a moment, the Bugs are in media there's gonna be fanfics abt them. The question is;

Does your Bug read fics abt them/ other Bugs/ the Boys?

3) What's your Bugs most controversial take/opinion?

4) What's their view on the Bugs that chose to be Hunters or the ones that liked their time as a Hunter?

5) Scenario time :D

(Couple context things for this; Chester is abt 22 rn and was 17 when Milo went missing/died. Daisy is currently 7, Fran is 10 meaning they were 2 and 5 when Milo disappeared. So Fran has faint memories of him whilst Daisy has no real idea who he was)

Bug was relaxing alone on the couch when they felt a slight tug at the bottom of their shirt/dress/wtv, they look down and see Daisy, holding something in one hand whilst staring up at them

"*Bug* I have a question"

They ask what her question is, Daisy pushes herself up onto the couch beside them and puts the picture in their lap. They look down, it was a photo of a 16 year old Chez holding baby Daisy...with Milo stood beside him

Daisy points to Milo, a confused expression on her face

"Who is that? Chezzy has lots of photos of him, he seems to know all my siblings. I would ask Chezzy who he is but...I'm scared to ask him"

Bug questions why Daisy's afraid to ask and after promising her they won't tell Chez, she answers

"Cause whenever Chezzy looks at photos of him he seems really sad, I don't want him to be sad... that's why I ask you! Do you know who he is?"

Who is it Bug?

☆---------------☆

Tags -

@rozeliyawashereyall @willowve01 @asmrbrainrot @kaiamtt @iistxrmyskyii @insignificant-anarchy @stxph-artist @aspenm00n @keyaartz @fangsshadow @rustycopper4use @piffany666 @dreamyshape @idontevenknow7878 @lunaritychuwolf @littlesiren79 @castbracelet240 @strayharmony943 @proxdragon @tiefling-chaos @threeweekinsomnia @recated @wilderrorcard @diamondzoey @fennaboysenberry @lunnats @lightdragon789 @pinkcocopuff-aqualoid @itsargyle @astralbulldragon13 @ccstiles @puffin-smoke @fruity0salad @takashishihoin @reefhastoomanyaccs

[cloudysonder]

On "Daddy Issues"

Ok, I know I'm a bit late to the game here, but I was gathering my thoughts after experiencing episode 5 and 6

Let me preface this with the fact that I am a Hazbin Hotel fan; it's cringe and it's not the best writing in the world, but I love the characters and the concept and the art. I know a lot of people disagree and completely despise it and hey, you do you, but this is a silly little thing I enjoy and think is fun

but oof. episode 5 and 6 were rough, execution-wise. Also worth mentioning that episode 5 followed on the heels of episode 4, which was dealing with a lot of heavy topics and gave Angel a lot of character development very quickly and had a wonderful song and a budding relationship between Husk and Angel that was fantastic, so to get a confusing and overwhelming yet completely inefficient episode (ep 5) and then an episode with SO MUCH HAPPENING that it absolutely bowled you over with plot points and world building that weren't given a single second to breathe was really disappointing. I'll put the meat under a read more, but that's the thesis

this post is just gonna be on episode 5, and I'll make another one on episode 6 bc christ almighty both of them are gonna be long

Episode 5 was something I was really looking forward to-- Of the main cast, Charlie and Vaggie seemed the least intriguing to me (oh, did I say "seemed" past tense? haha! they still most definitely are the least interesting!), and I wanted to see how they would introduce something they've been building up to for a while: Charlie's famed "Daddy issues"!

Turns out, instead of actually keeping it as a point of intrigue for Charlie's character and using it as a point of tension to show that hey, Charlie isn't actually a perfect person, and she's also in pain with the rest of the sinners because her own family relationships are falling apart, they solve it in a single episode. That's right! The long-awaited, complicated, divorced parent and child relationship that twisted Charlie into a validation seeking, people pleasing princess that "wants to fix other people so she doesn't have to deal with her own daddy issues" (quote by Husk) is solved with a charming performance by Jeremy Jordan and a song!

Look, it's no secret I'm a huge fan of Loser, Baby-- I clearly have no qualms with storytelling through song. But you cannot song-plain this one away. We've established over 4 episodes that Charlie and her father have kept in minimal contact for seven years. That's a Long time (don't go trying to be like, oh time to charlie works differently, bc that shit's not established, and everyone in the show still treats seven years like a long time). We know that the last time they called each other was 5 months ago.

"More than Anything," solves basically everything by making the following points

Charlie was inspired by her Dad's dreaming

Lucifer was ashamed of his failures and hid away from her

Lucifer does, however, want so so deeply to know Charlie

Charlie wants to know Lucifer

They love each other <3

these are fine endgame points. Dare I say... good endgame points to arrive at?? But you can't stuff ALL these revelations into a single song and call it a finished relationship arc when they haven't spoken for real in 7 YEARS. Also, making Lucifer so goofy and silly and fun and charming is Not helping the establishment of his character as a self-hating former dreamer who doesn't want his daughter to make the same mistakes he did. It just turns him to tumblr sexyman cute quirky sympathetic never did anything wrong and loves his daughter, completely downplaying his absentee parenting.

You can't have him turn from "I do not care about your life. I do not care about your project. I will not ask about your passions and your dreams. I am already ashamed of my own." to "ur so right bestie!!! dreaming is so slay mama!!! I love you so much you're my little baby girl I love you so much, you're right and I will support you!!!" in the course of a single episode without like.... at least 3 real, in depth conversations happening. The song is beautiful, but you can't poetry your way out of an actual relationship arc.

BUT! But, but but! The fault does not lie completely with Lucifer, but also with Charlie. girl just forgave him??? For everything????? Despite having been so scared to call him at the beginning of the episode? It's very unrealistic for a kid to just accept that a parent loves them apparently so so deeply when they've never seen proof of it in the last idk just spitballing a number here SEVEN YEARS. If you want to make the crux of a failed parent-child relationship miscommunication, you're gonna have to get into the ugly--- the grieving of what you could've had earlier, the wondering why you didn't reach out earlier, the anger at why they've suddenly changed now--- and you're gonna have to explain why the miscommunication went on so long.

sometimes, if you have a pair of completely uncommunicative people, seven years may be reasonable. But Charlie is open about her passions! She's public! She constantly reads about "The Story of Hell" and paints Lucifer in a positive light! And Lucifer is quick to reciprocate any interest Charlie shows in him! He's quick to offer help, to spoil Charlie and show love! (Lucifer's points are two points that make SEVEN YEARS of MINIMAL CONTACT and MISCOMMUNICATION make ZERO SENSE).

additionally, Charlie's lowkey only point of intrigue that was set up (her relationship to Lucifer, the King of Hell) is now just... kapoot. solved. pish posh. now she's a done character.

THEN EXPLAIN WHY I STILL DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER???? I haven't seen her actually struggle in a way that's not played off as a bit, we don't get a real charlie breakdown monologue, there are no stakes for me as a hazbin hotel viewer to want everything to go well for charlie besides my acab rad leftist ass being like redemption and forgiveness is good and ultimately benefits society

she's fun, she's bubbly, she's kind! but those are all basic things we knew from minute 1 she was on screen. I need to see her struggle. For a main character, she sure as hell doesn't feel main. And I expected better female characters from female writers (feat. in my next post, Vaggie????? What the hell?).

goodnight new york city, you've been great!

[awkward-tension-art]

Little Parasite Chp. 3

Your father, Leon's boss and the president of the united states, had called the agent to the White House for a meeting.

Extra warnings: pregnancy mentions, Reader isn't in this chapter but she's mentioned, I try my best at subtle threats, Leon being Leon, brief VERY BRIEF mention of Leon killing himself if he harmed you, petty shots at Leon’s past by the president

Leon’s steps through the hallway were steady and focused. He kept his eyes ahead, trying not to pay attention to the White House staff around him.

He had been called to the Oval Office personally. The president, your father, wanted to speak with him.

He heard the whispers. He’d be deaf not to.

Sleeping with the president's daughter.

Knocked her up.

How long have they been together?

So agent Kennedy is going to be the dad to the big man's grandkid?

Leon nodded to the secret service guarding the door. He waited for one of them to knock and announce his arrival.

“Wait a few minutes.” was his command.

It was a power play. Most likely your fathers way of saying ‘my time is more important.’ The agent knew that the president wasn't doing anything behind those double doors. Probably on his phone. Or reading a useless email.

It was his way of establishing power. Let Leon know that despite his connection to you, he was always on top.

So the agent had to wait. Bide his time. Presidencies only last 4 years. And hopefully, your relationship will last much longer.

Leon wouldn't entertain the possibility of a reelection. He was, in fact, working on being more optimistic.

After a few minutes of staring straight ahead, he was allowed inside the Oval Office.

The sun was hidden by thick curtains. The patterned cream walls were decorated with historic paintings. Several marble busts of leaders past stared straight, lifeless eyes piercing the air. At the very end of the office was the massive wooden desk.

And sitting behind it was your father. The president of the USA. His cold, stern eyes were on him.

His fucking boss.

“Mr.President, sir.” Leon saluted. He had to be an agent. This was the man he worked for. Not his future father-in-law.

“Agent Kennedy.” The president stood, “It’s been a while. After your report, you’ve been on medical leave haven't you?”

Another power play. He’s pretending not to know. Lure Leon into a false sense of security, and make the agent think he wasn’t in the leader's crosshairs. That maybe he had some fucking privacy in this job.

“Yes sir.” He nodded, keeping his answers short. The agent had to give only the required information. Nothing more. Nothing less.

“And how is that?” Your father leaned against the front of the desk, looking to his left. His eyes were down, roaming over some papers, “Going back to the field soon?”

This was another way for him to let Leon know that he didn't care about the man he called to the office.

“Recovery is fine.” Leon answered calmly, “The BSAA medical personnel have informed me I can return to field missions in about 2 weeks.”

He probably knew this already.

“Hm, good.” His future father-in-law nodded, “And my daughter?”

There it is.

“I’m sorry sir, what do you mean?” Leon asked, hoping to grab even a little bit of control. He could perhaps get his boss to say his intentions with this meeting.

“Well, you got her pregnant.” His boss responded rather coldly, “She hasn’t called me to talk about it. She’s spoken to her mother though.”

The agent’s guard was raised. Got you pregnant. The president made it seem like you were an unwilling participant. That Leon forced the baby on you.

He’d rather kill himself than do such a thing.

Leon swallowed, he took a shot, one that could frankly get him in trouble, “My fiancé is fine. So is the baby we both wanted.” His tone was less than respectful. At this point, he didn’t care that this was the president. The man signing his paychecks could be a fucking god, and he wouldn’t care.

It was a subtle ‘fuck you’. It told your father that yes, his favorite attack dog was having sex with his sweet, innocent daughter.

Oh if only he knew how ‘innocent’ you really were.

The president narrowed his stern eyes ever so lightly. He was irritated, but didn’t want Leon to know, “Good. That's good. This will be my first grandchild, you know.” His hand roamed over the file, “It's exciting, though, it's rather unfortunate that the child will have only one set of grandparents.”

Oh fuck you!

Leon swallowed. What was this? Shoving his dead parents in his face? Was this a joke?

Am I being punked? He thought, The president of the United states resorting to middle school insults?

Leon’s life was a fucking joke.

“I’m sure you and your wife will be wonderful grandparents.” The agent had to keep his tone calm and collected. He couldn’t break under his boss’ critical gaze.

The country’s leader nodded slowly, closing the file, “Agent Kennedy, I’m going to be frank and honest with you.”

What? Leon’s eyes widened, honesty? Here? In the White House?

Oh the world must be ending now.

“Sir?” The agent knew he sounded confused. Probably like an idiot. But he wasn’t expecting any form of honesty from the country’s leader.

“You are going to change the second you hold your child,” His future father-in-law said, putting a hand on Leons shoulder, “If you have a son, you would die for him. But if you have a daughter…” He tightened his grip, squeezing the agent's shoulder, “You’ll kill for her.”

Harm my daughter and I will destroy you.

Leon swallowed and nodded, “I understand.”

“You never will. Not until you do.” The president let go and stepped back, returning to his desk, “Now, your health reports have come back all clear, however, my daughter will need to continue with weekly visits to the lab until the baby is born.”

“Yes sir.” The agent nodded again, “is there anything else?”

“No, you’re dismissed.” The president waved him away without even looking up. Still Leon knew he was forced to salute before leaving.

One final show of power. Making him leave without even so much as a ‘bye.’

Once in the hallway, he took a deep breath.

God…despite the man in the Oval Office being your father, your fiance fucking hated him. He despised politics. He despised the government. He wasn’t a patriot by any means, and he wasn’t going to raise his child to fucking worship the USA.

Leon took another breath and began to walk through the halls of the White House again.

He couldn’t get to the exit and into your arms fast enough.

[sapphyreopal5]

I know Jensen was seeing another girl for awhile, I won’t say her name for her safety but you are very insightful so I’m pretty sure you know who I’m talking about, my question is do you think he’s still seeing her?

Hello Anon, thank you for the question and compliments. You know what's funny about this is that over a year ago someone was in my DMs saying that they know Jensen pretty personally. Never was shown any photos or anything but I believed them, figured maybe they'll prove it creatively somehow you know? I was told things to the effect of Jensen signing on for The Boys season 5 in the middle of filming for The Boys season 3 last May, which was confirmed over a year after being told this (Variety.com article dated 7/26/2024 shows this). Why? "He liked the script" and also "so he could be closer to me". They had also told me "I was in Toronto" at one point but never said where they were currently.

I was also told of a conversation him and Jared had on the phone about Jared apparently asking him about moving in (didn't say where exactly) and Jensen basically said nah, you're on your own with that one. "You didn't help me in my time of need, why should I help you?" was the general sentiment. This took place about a month and a half or so (sometime in early June 2023 I think) before the news hit that Jensen closed on that house in Connecticut at the end of July last year. This person also told me other things about the Pads marriage but this is not the central point of this post because you are asking about Jensen here. I thought it was worth mentioning this tidbit because it shows that Jensen must've had SOME kind of talks with others with regards to moving or moving around for some reason. I do know that house closings take place on average anywhere between 30-60 days after an offer is accepted. For a big purchase like that mansion, 60ish days is not unheard of particularly since they only bought part of that property not the whole thing, the high price tag and taking out a mortgage on the house NOT using just cash.

I also told this person after they saw a post of mine about Danneel, black magic and the Rust shooting that Jensen should've never signed up for that movie to begin with. He was scheduled to return at one point per this Variety.com article dated 4/21/2023. I created that post about Danneel and black magic with regards to the Rust tragedy on 5/5/2023. 12 days later after I had the talk with this person about this movie being a tamper in Jensen's divine blueprints, it was announced Jensen pulled out of Rust due to "scheduling conflicts". Scheduling conflicts with what project though? As far as we're all aware, he had NOTHING on schedule around that time and he had begun filming for this movie over a year before pulling out. Looking back now it doesn't seem like there was an actual project going on at the time and from what I had heard he had like 1 or 2 days left on the set, making this all the more intriguing.

As for the original question, I am going to say this. I haven't spoken to this person at least on that Tumblr account since last July. They were pretty upset when I asked about the CT house, I do remember that much. My opinion? I think kind of yes but it was never in ideal or favorable circumstances because he's clearly still married to Danneel and apparently keeps promising of a divorce coming. I know for 100% fact this user is the so called Canada Anon who was going around to different anti Danneel bloggers. People assumed that Canada Anon is fake because of their divorce claims and yet... no divorce. I think this is a poor reason to assume they aren't a legit in the know person because it's too simplistic. They also assumed they're just like a friend or something of Jensen's.

Someone told me that Canada Anon started showing up in people's ask boxes more when it was close to when Jensen started filming for The Boys season 3. I'm pretty sure they are striking again with the Jensen having affairs asks coming from other anti Danneel bloggers' direction but just not going with the nickname Canada Anon. My senses tell me that she's getting frustrated and is clearly sick of being hidden, not being publicly acknowledged. Also according to this Tumblr user, it was apparently HER idea to talk to Kripke about the ending of Supernatural for Dean. Apparently also there's times he will say "my wife"... he's referring to her NOT Danneel unless he says "my wife Danneel".

At one point not super long after we first started speaking, I was saying things about what my guides told me about Jensen's soulmate that upset her (I at the time didn't know she actually knew Jensen personally). Her brother (or is it "brother"? I don't know) had come on her account and told me she will no longer be on for the day and is not feeling well. During this conversation I was asked "you know exactly who she is, don't you?" I told him no it should be known by her screenname what her name is, as I genuinely had NO idea what he was talking about actually. Looking back now at things in the conversation and outside with what I know now (plus how she described herself and even her age at the time) has me saying HMMMM.

This user also said that with the Prequelgate drama, Jared realized stuff was going on with Danneel and Jensen's marriage apparently (from what I could understand at the time anyways). I didn't understand why they said that at the time. Going back and seeing the day The Winchesters was actually announced, it makes sense to me now. I will say this user isn't particularly fond of Jared, said he is two faced and just not that good of a person. Part of this seems to be because he apparently encouraged Danneel and Jensen to work things out "despite clear evidence of her abusing him". This person also said the issues with him and Gen they say have been going on with the whole asking Jensen to move in stuff is karma for him (pointing to the him encouraging Jensen and Danneel to work things out). Interesting times we're in now folks...