#you know it’s true cowards

[nokillbananashelter]

ZELDA IS YOUR CAR, A NEW THEORY

THE QUESTION NINTENDO IS ASKING ISN'T JUST

"WHAT IF ZELDA HAD A CAR"

IT'S ALSO ASKING

"WHAT IF ZELDA  *WAS*  A CAR"

Hear me out- this is alot of theories in one. First- it is a "you will control someone else besides link" rumor, as it involves zelda magically possessing spirit fueled choo choo goo, or controlling it with her sick sheikah slate from a distance/other realms and THROUGH LINKS ARM.

Second, it is a "zelda is dead" theory, as in order for it to make sense, she must be transported to a new plane of existence where she and link are NOT AT ALL CLOSE BY, but need to work together, As in, she's probably your "Companion" character, but like, using her sheikah phone to drone pilot links FUCKING ARM, I NEED TO STRESS THIS PART, SHES CONTROLLING YOU THROUGH THAT.

Thirdly, it is boldly answering the first question of "What if Zelda had a car" by creating a reasonably extraneous explanation for the invention of the wheel, and how the necessity for that invention would have to play out, because its something so bold and daring they needed to hype themselves up with lore in order to properly digest the Nuts and Bolts Zelda.

Fourthly, and this one is for all you boys who work so hard, it is a Zonai theory, as it must clearly explain the "Magical Ancient Tech 2: Electric Bokoballoon" vibe Totk CLEARLY HAS.

Fifthly, it is a Twilight Realm theory, because clearly the Zonai and the twilight are related, like come on now, be serious, and we've seen a sacred/twilight realm in the trailer. Be honest with me. Do you really think it isn't that?  Are you really gonna think those aren't related? Arent you just playing with your own heart at this point? Give yourself a rest. Let it be true within yourself.

Sixthly, it is most absolutely a timeline theory. which is exhausting, and I hate to say it, but its probably got some kingdom hearts level "im your evil twin but not the real evil twin but the sad evil twin within the dark you" bullshit happening. Maybe Midna and Hilda and Hylia and Zelda all walk into a room together and shrug before talking on the phone with link. The Logo is literally a car tire made out of two stone dragons. This game is about gods, wheels, times, cycles, motorcycles, circular logics, technological advancement from people breaking stuff for fun, and absolute nonsenses about what that philosophically means from a story standpoint as well as a game mechanics standpoint. That's a promise, but I’m not detailing that here.

And with those points being made- this is the Theory.

Zelda and Link, newly equipped with the Sheikah Phone that has been suspected as communicating with the dead in old crypts deep under hyrule, are exploring Ganon's crypt chamber.They find out who sealed him in the first place- the Zonai! But Gasp! Merely steppin in this chamber was folly! It begins crumbling, and the two are separated in an explosion. the hand that was sealing ganon now must make a choice-try saving a failing seal and also loose two very important prophesied people, or, to make the hard choice of  saving zelda or link while eons of magic become undone, dooming hyrule to an even crueler fate....for now.

Link is saved by the Zonai hand under request from Zelda. Zelda clearly makes a self sacrificial but calculated move, because she knows something the audience doesn't, or she recognizes... a second, shadow zonai hand, that was more reluctant and cautious, but still calling.  Yes, thats right- the zonai are in multiple realms, above and below. Perhaps they are in opposition to eachother? Or maybe...longing for eachother? As zelda falls deep into the depths, She finds herself in good company! PERCHANCE EVEN MIDNA'S COMPANY??? Though She is technically safe, by all accounts she is in a spirit realm, and therefore, dead.

Link, on the other hand (HAHA) , is pulled with the Zonai up in the sky towards a different realm we recognize- The Secret Dragon Realm!!! But at the last second!!! Ganon, or one of his goons?! Comes in and snatches link from the zonai hand as its juuuuust squeaking through the window to the other realm. The zonai arm, which is revealed to be a remote control device between realms, and links arm, are FUSED. Link doesn't make it to the spirit realm where all was going to be explained!!! 

As link falls, we get a peek at new bow falling mechanics and time slow down, but its not enough!!! We're too thrown by our powerful new arm!!! We're still falling!! AHHH!!!!!! IT'S OVER!!!!

"STOP!" Zelda cries, holding the sheikah device from the shadow realm!!

Suddenly the ground is getting farther and farther away again, and we're going BACK UP INTO THE SKY, because zelda has changed the trajectory of a piece of rubble via the sheika phone through our arm and its LIFTING US!! we're introduced to the new time reverse mechanic in our tutorial area, The abandoned and nearly unrecognizable but clearly footprintable Skyloft (I HATE THIS DETAIL TOO, BUT I FEEL IT COMIN, OKAY?).  Right off the bat, nintendo makes the goal get to the ground, but be cautious" and we learn all over again how to control the shiekah powers and some spooky new ones- including Ectoplasmic Choo Choo Goo, because all of the Zonai tech in our control is powered by Zeldas ghost/spirit power!! As we descend, we begin to realize something..... a lot of the islands in the sky are not even accessible from the height we were at. How could this be???!!! Surely there is much more to do in the sky before going down?? It seems we'll need to get to the ground and uncover, develop, and think our way out of this one with what we have below!! Wait, Is that.... ZONAI MONSTER TRUCK WHEELS?!  Zelda will need to do research based on our findings, and she'll need us to collect as much magic green choo choo goo as possible, to give her more room to possess and control objects and link's arm.

 So lets ground this concept. While Link is the character you control, You do, in a strange extra layer of role playing, Control Links Arm and the Choo Choo Goo as "DEAD" ZELDA, FROM HER SHEIKAH SPIRIT-PHONE, IN THE SPIRIT REALM. As she tries to make her way back abstractly from the dead realm to help you defeat ganon, she also has a literal direct hand in the adventure, and 

ZELDA 

*IS*

THE

CAR

[blackbatcass]

not to be back on my bullshit but as it stands I think cass and dick’s relationship has the potential to contain soooo much resentment and discomfort. two people who are not used to being meaningfully perceived are now being deeply understood by another person who is NOT their first choice for this. they know each other Too Well and are both uncomfortable by this. there is so much resentment wariness and tension to be found in their shared proximity to bruce and babs, their thought processes, personalities, etc. HOWEVER. i do think that throwing them into the emotional pressure cooker that is the bruce-is-dead era together could fix them. being forced to share the cowl and wrestling with differing ideas of batman’s legacy, family, morality, etc would end SO well actually. they would have so many screaming matches and would come out of it bonded to all hell.

[virfujiwara]

Happy pride to THEM!!

[ageofzero]

Yuna is the antagonist of a potential Final Fantasy X-3, thank you for coming to my TED Talk

edit: okay I'll put it under a read more since it'll be a long post (but not as long as my entire conversation was), but what's promised is due.

Now that I have to make the post for real I had to do some wiki reading on what the actual Things going on in the novella were, and… well, a lot of my theorycrafting was based on incomplete and kinda inaccurate information. BUT I can’t read Japanese, the book was never released here, and I am going to go with rule of cool for a little bit of this even as I keep the stuff that sounds kinda dumb on the surface. I’ll be the first to say that Tidus exploding from a bomb he thinks is a blitzball is dumb (true), and Chuami thinking she’s Auron’s daughter is a dumb plot beat (petty), but I’m weaving this bridge and I’m not going to rewrite those. I am going to change some contexts and make them exist in a narrative that I hope is compelling. That’s my disclaimer, now I’m gonna get into it.

SO.

The scenario from the novella and audio drama is thus: Tidus died again in an accident, and Yuna brings him back. But he’s not back in the same way that the Fayth gave this dream a real living body at the end of X-2. The official term for it is “beckoned”, but I probably won’t use that to describe him based on my previous understanding. No matter if he’s beckoned or not, or whatever terminology you want to use, the thing is that Yuna summoned him back. She’s holding him to life, and he can never know. It’s been a year since the moment Tidus died, and Yuna has seemingly regressed into patterns that put her into what was once Yevon’s circle. Tidus is looking injured/weakened (“Chuami: It wasn’t just [Tidus’s] words that felt hollow. When I shook his hand, his grip felt weak and lifeless... I think he’s injured. Or maybe he’s sick or something.”), and people are looking to Yuna for help or information regarding the strange not-quite Unsent (the beckoned) that are appearing in places in Spira. Help she is not capable of giving. Wakka and Lulu are protecting her as she prays in Besaid Temple. The world is seemingly acting out, with a second shoopuf appearing in the Moonflow and its energies overflowing and drawing more illusions into reality. (“Yuna: The Moonflow energy is responding to the will of the living. It’s as if… we’re in the Farplane.”) And it’s more vivid than what the Farplane is capable of, even breaking the rules of “beckoning”. This is something new, something worse. Something worse enough to bring back Sin (which I thought was just me extrapolating a potential, but they actually mention it in the audio drama that it happens). Yuna promises the people that she will defeat Sin, but Wakka tries to keep her from being made to promise such a thing at first, which is an interesting choice (“Wakka: Yuna, let’s go back to Besaid. They’ll push this all on you… Sin is for summoners, in their minds.”).

Where does the world go in this present circumstances? Why IS Yuna seemingly content to do what chafed her in the Eternal Calm short movie and stay praying in Besaid and helping the elders who are lost now that Yevon as they knew it is in shambles? Why are Lulu and Wakka enabling and protecting her in that? Why is Tidus looking injured and weak and why is Yuna keeping him at arm’s length? Why does she tell him that she’s fallen in love with someone else?

I know the typical story beat interpretation is “Yuna told him that and pushed him away so he wouldn’t be in danger for what she needs to do, bc defeating Sin caused his death last time”. But hear me out. Yuna knows Tidus isn’t alive. She knows that revealing that information to him will cause him to disappear again. She’s actively summoning him back to life and he has no idea (but he must suspect something is wrong, even before Yuna formally pulls away from him, he’s weakening and he probably doesn’t feel right in his own skin). I posit that her maintaining Tidus’s life is what she’s really doing praying in the Besaid Temple. She doesn’t want to get involved with the Moonflow situation, the shoopuf or the overflowing energy of the Moonflow itself. She doesn’t even really act when seeing all the ghosts in the crowd, and actively stops Kurgum from acting (plausible deniability: she and everyone else decide that sending them in that moment would be the wrong call and riots would break out, but that density of ghosts means that’s a significant amount of pyreflies that could become fiends at any moment).

I posit that Yuna’s powers are working, that people close to her think her powers aren’t working (Lulu and Wakka), and she’s hiding it from everyone else. That her powers aren’t working because she’s currently using them to maintain Tidus’s existence. And this maintaining is breaking the Farplane in half, because she’s powerful but has no idea what she’s doing. (Why would she really know what she’s doing or the consequences? Who has any information of what she’s doing and what will happen if she does it?) I posit that Yuna’s love for Tidus is so strong that it corrupts her sense of right and wrong. X-2 is Yuna largely going on a personal quest, and incidentally helping people but separating herself from the title of High Summoner and doing something she wants to do. Rikku encourages her to do something for herself for a change right before she agrees and runs off to become a sphere hunter. She still saves the world, this time from an ancient danger Old Yevon buried and an Unsent is threatening to use (for love, notably), but she did it in the course of looking for Tidus. Who the Fayth return to life, who she hugs and is so so relieved to have in her arms again.

She’s not going to let him go, she couldn’t let him die again so much that she called him back to life.

(side note: I never truly knew how this happened so I had to consult the wiki page on the novella, and I suspect what original information I was working with was misrepresented and misinterpreted. I openly admit that the wiki page doesn’t really help me fully understand what happened, aside from explaining how Tidus ended up in proximity to a bomb. My understanding from someone’s explanation was that an Unsent summoner on the island Yuna and Tidus got washed up on after a storm told her she could call back the dead if she wanted, as a summoner. They’re all made of pyreflies, Aeons and Fiends and People and Unsent alike, and summoners are in the business of manipulating pyreflies. Either calling them from the Fayth to form an Aeon, or Sending them to the Farplane so they do not become Fiends. A summoner with enough power could summon someone back from the dead, could they not? And this Unsent summoner knew how it worked, and told Yuna how to do it. But I don’t know how real that scene could be, or how accurate it is to what’s written in the book. It’s my rule of cool moment, though, and I worked with that as my understanding when I made this theory. We have to make our peace with that, if you’ll allow me this extrapolation of Spira’s rules and a summoner’s powers.)

(The meme is Tidus kicking a blitzball and it turned out it was a bomb and his head gets blown off, but wiki says they ended up on a vision of a Besaid from 1000 years ago, and the bomb was something neither Tidus or Yuna had seen before and to them it looked like a blitzball. So, Tidus approached what he thought was a blitzball, wondering who’s ball it was, and it exploded as he reached it. I still think that’s really dumb but I’m not editing it out bc Tidus’s death creates very interesting consequences.)

So, if Yuna is summoning Tidus back to life, and she desperately doesn’t want him to find this out so she avoids him and pushes him away through any means necessary, but he’s still weakening and fading enough to be noticeable by people… perhaps also himself… Yuna returning to Yevon in some capacity could just as likely be her looking for a means to keep feeding power to this summoning she’s doing so she doesn’t lose him. And what kind of consequences does it have to do this? He’s being summoned, but he’s not actually an Aeon. He’s not an Unsent, he’s not just being beckoned. He wasn’t even real, he was a dream in a summon held together by the raw power of Yu Yevon turning into Sin. The Moonflow overflowing and seeing a long-dead shoopuf is the least of the consequences. The Farplane is delicate, it requires careful maintenance, and here Yuna is shoving her foot in the door and holding it open for a solid year! And no one knows she’s doing this! Spira’s past is full of history, some of that long-buried secrets that no one was supposed to find again. Sin wasn’t supposed to be able to come back, but the ghosts aren’t staying ghosts anymore (“Lulu: I mean Sin came back, right? What’s to stop anything else from coming back?”).

Even people who only know her by reputation seem to think she’s acting strangely (“Kurgum: I thought Lady Yuna was… a righteous person.”), because something is wrong and no one can put their finger on what. Who would have the pieces to put any of this together, and who would even suspect Yuna in the first place? She’s actively not getting involved in politics, she’s locked herself in Besaid, she seems reluctant to answer someone she worked with and should be amicable with now (Baralai).

I think the story should follow down this path, I think it should find Yuna at the end of it, once savior and now destroyer. She’s willing to let the world rip apart in order to keep Tidus, and I think that’s a compelling premise for X-3. The past surging forward like ghosts, vengeful and lost and wanted and terrifying. Who sides with Yuna (Wakka, Lulu) and covers up the problem? Who bands together to face down the High Summoner (Tidus, Rikku)? Who doesn’t know where to place their allegiance, or who changes sides when they realize the extent of what Yuna’s hiding? What does she do when she’s faced with her friends, and the person she loves so much, telling her to stop?

There’s a line in Eternal Calm where Yaibal (named in X-2 but not in the movie itself), after asking about whether or not she’d be joining one of the factions, if she’d be making a faction of her own. And I think in this potential X-3, she’s making her own faction through the actions of becoming antagonist. She’s made Wakka cover for her, she acts in a way that make Lulu and Wakka both protect her regardless of whether or not they know what she’s doing. I think it would be so fascinating to make this a conscious decision on her part. Things have broken so utterly, and she’s desperate to hold them together, and becomes the antagonist in the process.

Squeenix would never do it, they’d never be so bold as to make Yuna the antagonist and follow through on this trajectory of her lying to people to hide that she’s the one breaking the world in half (up to returning the ghost of Sin itself to terrorize Spira). Sin isn’t the final boss in this one, it’d have to be Yuna, we have to stop her and fix what went wrong. It’s not ever gonna happen, but I still think Yuna should be the antagonist of X-3.

[braceletofteeth]

Get out! Get out of here!

[suddencolds]

.~

[noel-levine-fan]

this line has always baffled me genuinely what is she talking about. what book

edit: anon helped me with this one, apparently this an idiom...! oops lol. see, i have heard things like "you could write a book on x, you know so much about it...!" but never "you wrote a book on x," like, in the past tense, like you actually wrote it. perhaps this is common and i just don't know about it, but either way, i'm happy my question is finally answered...

i'm afraid i do look a little silly now... but that's alright

NOOOOO GUYS STOP LIKING THIS POST ITS EMBARASSSINGGGGG (not genuine go ahead I find it funny)

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

[gemkun]

trying to work out veritas' actual name is so funny like one second it's aurelius then next it's bob. what do you guys think his real name is ?

[mr-inkslinger]

As a PSA, because I answered another ask;

I will not be responding to the asks that are telling me to kill myself, calling me various slurs, among other things. To be clear, whatever you try to say to me; I've said worse to the mirror. Try harder. I've heard better arguments from my middle school bullies. Also, wishing SA on someone in 2024, the year of our lord and savior, is fucking tacky. You all are tutorial bosses. Your insults literally sound like an rdr2 npc's antagomism line. When one of you says something actually fucking creative then you get a spot on this humble blog. Until then, good luck!

[widevibratobitch]

happy fuck that old man friday. you know im right.

[the-juicywizard]

I'm just saying if they forced us to watch Denethor fucking maw down that wet tomato in LOTR, they could have at least given us a LITTLE something in the fallout tomato scene.

[butnotbubblegum]

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, don’t read them if you’re having a bad day, they’ll probably not help in the slightest.

[millidew]

sometimes I forget dabi mha isn’t actually missing patches of hair on his head in a what-could-be-loosely-defined-as-an-edgy-diy-undercut-but-is-really-more-because-of-his-burnt-skin sort of way

[ashedrose]

alright !! laptop is officially open sooooo, like this if you want me to send in some memes your way! if you have a specific meme post pls feel free to link me to that too <3

[raymondshields]

I just saw another fandom take I want to carpet bomb out of existence ("variety in takes in fandom make for a healthy fandom environment" I mutter over and over again) so I'm just gonna say it, out of the tags, so I can get the haterness out of my system and move tf on with my life.

MvK and Gregory Edgeworth do not have a rivalry. MvK thinks they have a rivalry because there's something wrong with him, but they do not have a rivalry. Gregory himself did not give two shits about who was prosecuting his client, he just wanted to do his Jobbe and be there for his family. He did not care. The rivalry was only ever in MvK's mind, and this is obvious in AAI2-3, and I do not know how it was missed.