#you potentially take the fun out of playing for those people

[fatkish]

Could you do a Aizawa x suicidal daughter please?Sorry if this is too dark but I’ve seen some of your other works about stuff like this and it makes me feel seen I guess thanks :)

(Sorry Anon, I know that you specifically asked for an x daughter reader, but I feel that this is a topic that happens to a lot of people so I decided that I would make it Gender Neutral since everyone could used a little Dadzawa every now and then. If you want me to make one specifically for a Dadzawa x Daughter Reader then I’ll do that.)

Father Aizawa x Suicidal Reader

If I was Happy

TRIGGER WARNING: The following contains mentions of suicide ideation, self harming thoughts and feelings and other potentially triggering things. Please be advised and refrain from reading if this will trigger you.

You hadn’t always struggled with these kind of thoughts and feelings, or maybe you did. Maybe you had these thoughts before, but it had felt like so long, you couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t feel this way.

You didn’t understand why you felt so horrible about yourself or when it started but you knew that originally, you didn’t think this way about yourself.

As these horrible thoughts ran rampant in your mind, thoughts of how you’re worthless, maybe you’re fat or you’re too skinny. Maybe you’re ugly or you have acne. Maybe your nose just doesn’t fit your face, or you have oily or greasy hair that you just can’t get rid of. Maybe you heard people who made fun of you and their words made you bully yourself worse than they did. Maybe you hated everything about yourself and you couldn’t take it anymore. Or maybe the state of the world was too depressing and you didn’t want to be a part of it. Whatever the case is, your world grew darker as you turned on yourself. You became your own worse critic. But still, you didn’t let anyone see the truth, especially your amazing dad.

And maybe that’s when you finally got the idea. The thought that maybe you should die.

You couldn’t remember when the last time was that you didn’t have these thoughts. It’s like a demon came inside of you and decided to poison you, making you hate yourself and everything that you were.

It hurts. It hurts to live like this. People can say things like, it’s selfish to kill yourself. Or killing yourself isn’t the solution. That you’re only hurting the ones that love you, but if those people really loved you, then wouldn’t they want your suffering to end? Why would the people that love you want you to suffer? Aren’t they the ones being selfish? You wouldn’t force an animal that’s in pain and has little to no quality of life to continue living just because you love them. Right? That’s inhumane. So why must you keep living if you don’t have any quality of life?

These were the kind of thoughts that plagued you late at night. You tried your hardest to live on and not let anyone know that you were suffering, especially your dad.

Your dad was amazing. He’s the best father you could ask for. Maybe he isn’t perfect, but you never once doubted his love for you. You knew that one of his best friends had died when he was in highschool. You know that it severely affected him. He might not be the most affectionate person in the world, but he doesn’t have to be. His eyes and smile say it all.

One night, you couldn’t take the thoughts anymore. You decided that you would write a letter and explain to your dad why you killed yourself and tell him is wasn’t his fault. You loved him so much, he’s always been there for you. But you know how stressful his life is and you just can’t fight off the part of you that believes you’re a burden to him. Your dad doesn’t need anymore stress especially from you. So you write a note and decided to do something special for him. You wrote, played and recorded a song for him.

(Play song above or play on YouTube)

Dear God, please, hear me out

I know it's been a couple years

Since I've reached out and said hello

I bet You're wondering

Why I keep

Obsessing on and stressing all the little things

When I should be

Living life and soaking up the memories

I know I've been selfish, I have

No excuse to give you, it's true

Hanging by a thread's how I live

I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem

Go up in flames, acting like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully

That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who

Who I'd be if I was happy

As you played the song and sang, you didn’t know that your dad had come home. He knew that you had been learning to play instruments from Hizashi but he didn’t realize you were this good. He started to walk up the stairs and as he listened to the lyrics, his heart began to hurt, as he wondered why you sang this particular song, and with such emotion too.

Yeah, been this way so long

It feels like something's off when I'm not depressed

I got some issues that I won't address

I got some baggage I ain't opened yet

I got some demons I should put to rest

I got some traumas that I can't forget

I got some phone calls I been avoiding

Some family members I don't really connect with

Some things I said I wish I would of not let slip

Some hurtful words that never should of left my lips

Some bridges burned, I'm not ready to rebuild yet

Some insecurities I haven't dealt with, yes

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul

And the last to admit I need a hand to hold

Losing hope, headed down a dangerous road

Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem

Go up in flames acting, like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully

That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who

Who I'd be if I was happy

Your dad listed outside your door as he took in the words and began to worry and hope that you were just going through an edgy phase but with his experience, and his gut, he knew that is wasn’t just a trivial thing.

Don't know what's around the bend

Don't know what my future is

But I can't keep on living in

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem

Go up in flames acting, like I don't

Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully

That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya

To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in

The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who

Who I'd be if I was happy

If I was happy

If I was happy

As you put down the guitar and walked up to the recording device you spoke.

“Dad, I know that you’re probably upset… no… you’re definitely upset and I’m sorry for causing you this pain, but I just couldn’t keep living like this. The pain is never ending and I don’t think it ever will. You’ve been so great to me all these years and I love you so much… I … I’m sorry. I know it hurts and I don’t ever want you to blame yourself for what I chose to do. I’m sorry I hurt you and you don’t ever have to forgive me for taking my own life, I know I won’t forgive myself for the pain it’s causing you. There wasn’t anything you could have done to prevent this… I love you… and I always will…”

You couldn’t continue as your tears overflowed and you couldn’t stop yourself from crying. As you fell to the floor with your face in your hands a pair of sting arms wrapped around you and pulled you into a strong chest. Through your crying you could hear the crying of another person, and through your tears you saw the familiar black shirt and white capture scarf that belonged to your dad.

As you cried you wrapped your arms around your dad and continued to cry into his shoulder. He pulled you into his lap and cradled you in his arms as he held you tightly, afraid to let you go.

“I’m so sorry that you feel this way but please don’t do anything drastic, please. Baby I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. You mean everything to me and you’re the reason I come home every day. You’re my world and my everything. So please… please… don’t kill yourself or hurt yourself anymore. I don’t think my heart could take it”

Aizawa cried as he spoke softly into your hair as he held you. He remembered the day he first met you in the hospital. Your tiny newborn body was so small, your little hand could barely wrap itself around his pinky finger, but you held his hand for the first time. Your tiny little hand held onto his finger as tears spilled down his cheeks as he took in the sight of his newborn child. He feel in love at first sight as he held your tiny body. He vowed to protect you and be there for you no matter what.

And you opened your eyes and looked into his. You were his whole world. The only things that existed in the moment were Aizawa and his newborn child. To him, you’re everything, you’re what he fight to come home to, you’re his reason to live and survive even the most gruesome and brutal fights. He’ll never give up and he’ll always come home to you. After all, that’s the promise he made you when he first met you.

As you both pulled away and looked into each other’s teary eyes, you smiled and laughed.

“What’s so funny”

“You’ve got snot on your shoulder… I’m so sorry”

You apologized but couldn’t help but laugh at that for whatever reason. Your dad just smiled softly and wrapped his arms around you.

“You do realize I changed your diapers when you were a baby right? You puked on me, shit on me, there’s no body fluid that you haven’t already gotten on me” he smiled as you laughed even harder at the image of a younger him covered in baby vomit with a grossed out face.

As you both laughed and he told you stories of you as a baby, he remembered everything he loved about you.

“I love you sweetheart, I always will. Tomorrow, we are going to the hospital to get your mental health evaluated and whatever happens, I promise I’ll be there for you, okay”

“Okay”

You gave you dad one last hug before cleaning everything up and you decided to take a bath before bed.

(I might make a part 2 to this so if you’re interested in a part 2, just comment 2 or part 2 to let me know if anyone is interested in a sequel of this fic.)

[mammonprotectionsquad]

I just had a thought because recently someone once again thought it would be fine to comment on "how little dmg my Itto does". Funnily enough both times it happened it was during co-op fights against Azhdaha and he has a 70% geo resistance or something like that I think? So I know my numbers won't be as high as they usually are. But I still pick him to drop more shards so the team can have shields. Especially when no one is willing to pick a healer.

And what cracks me up is that the people making fun of someone's dmg are usually the ones to die first xD

Anyway the thought I got while that happened was that those people are probably also the same ones doing showcases on tiktok. Are the numbers impressive? Sure, I guess. BUT... They are boasting about numbers while using a shit ton of food buffs.

So honey. Don't be shy. Show us your dmg without food buffs 👀 show us the numbers you're making with only your team buffs. Bet there would be a huge ass difference 😌

[lady-raziel]

and alright, here's my last (let's hope) and boldest take yet. lots of people have been talking about the level of staff (around 25-ish people) at watcher, and whether downsizing that number could have been a potential avenue of reducing costs before just jumping to a subscription model. at first i was like yeah, i'm not sure that there needs to be 18 people involved in making a lets play. i was in the fucking trenches in the unus annus days and i'm still amazed how markiplier and ethan nestor managed to put out pretty well edited videos every day for a whole year with only a handful of editors and a couple people filming. what unus annus was trying to do and what watcher is trying to do are obviously pretty different, but the point is that you really don't need a whole crew of people to make lots of different types of content and do it well.

i still think there probably doesn't need to be a whole production crew involved with the creation of some of the simpler types of content watcher puts out. however, i don't think the size of the staff is the real problem. in fact, i think the staff of watcher probably should have been larger.

let me explain. if i begrudgingly go to one of my most detested websites (linkedin. *bleeegh*) and look up watcher, i can see that pretty much every person on staff is in a creative role of some sort by their own admission. at first glance, its like, oh, that makes sense. they're making creative products, it's natural that they should all be in creative roles. however, once you think about it for a little longer from a business perspective, that fact is really concerning.

after all, by watcher's own definition, this is a production studio. this is a company. So in this sea of creative roles, who's doing corporate planning? Who's managing finance? Who's doing payroll? Or brand outreach? Or human-freaking-resources??? you can hire outside groups for all this. i'm aware. but those services cost a lot of money to contract too. i'm just finding it concerning that there is pretty much no one on full time staff that is there to at least do some of this stuff. if watcher wants to be a big-boy company, that's fine, but that means you have to pay some people to be part of your company to do the not-fun business stuff like accounting. or resource management.

if they want to be a real company, they should actually have a lot more people on staff to deal with all the non-creative parts of running a company. even if they contract out most of it, you want at least a few people that are your people and don't actually work for someone else. that's how you don't get screwed over or end up in a contract you can't get out of.

which leads me to my last train of thought. like, as i go through the staff of watcher and look at what they do, it really seems like one of the ONLY people who's job it was to look at the business side of things WAS steven lim in his role as CEO. and thinking about that, i'm like god, can you imagine?? here's a guy who just wants to create cool stuff too but as one of the few people who has to think about the realities of Brand and the Business, HE has to be the one to burst the bubble. He as CEO has to say no to people and make decisions to make sure the company survives. In a group of creative people who just want to make things they're interested in, no expense spared, he was probably the guy who had to stay at least a little tethered to reality.

I'm not about to say that steven lim isn't to blame here. everyone involved in making the decisions that have led up to this point is part of this. but shit, it absolutely sucks to have to be the person at the end of the brainstorm session when everyone is coming up with their best ideas and to have to say "guys, i don't think any of these things are possible unless we make some big decisions."

is that what happened at watcher HQ? i don't know. at this point, with radio silence from everyone, speculation is all we've got. but if you follow the thread of a bunch of creatives striking out on their own to make their own business after being burned by their former employer, despite not knowing really how to run a business, and then only hiring fellow creative people and not other people who actually run business things... well, all of this starts to make slightly more sense in WHY none of watcher's actions make sense. everybody wants to stick it to the man and be their own boss with their own business, until it actually comes to the hard parts of doing that. at that point people start to realize, "oh, maybe some of the things that existed at my old job were there for a reason, actually."

all this is why lots of creatives striking out and starting their own businesses don't work in the end. they're thinking about in terms of creative products still, when they really need to be focusing more on the "business" part of the "creative business." it's sad. it sucks. it destroys a lot of good ideas and good people, because one person in every company like that has to be the one who thinks practically. could this have been avoided if watcher had been hiring people all along to manage this business and not just adding people to add to the creative output? maybe. even then it might not have been enough to curb other predictable impulses that led us down this path.

i feel bad for watcher, and i feel bad for the fandom. but i can't help but wonder if this was always the kind of situation we were going to end up in, and we just missed some of the warning signs because ALL of us were thinking, "well, that could never happen to us. we're different. not the Ghoul Boys."

[effetsecndaires]

— 𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠. (𝐡𝐜𝐬)

INCLUDES | keisuke baji, kazutora hanemiya, manjiro sano, shuji hanma

NOTE | This is really short, I'm sorry! I'm not sure how I feel about it either, but I hope it's not too bad.

— BAJI.

Pretty much everyone in Toman knows Baji has a soft spot for you. They never miss an opportunity to tease him about it, telling him to make the first move, to stop staring like a creep and just ask you out already.

...What they don't know is that you and Baji have been secretly dating for months now.

Though you decided to keep your relationship a secret mainly to keep each other safe and avoid being exposed to unnecessary danger, you both find amusement in keeping your friends in the dark about your relationship. It became like a fun little game between you and Baji, sharing playful glances and knowing smiles whenever the others would tease him about his supposed crush.

You're pretty sure Chifuyu knows the truth, though. There's always a knowing smirk on his face that suggests he might be onto your secret, but he plays along, giving you both a nod of approval whenever he catches the subtle displays of affection between the two of you.

If you eventually decide to make your relationship public, Baji will have a field day teasing his friends for not noticing sooner that you were dating. He won't miss the chance to brag about being the one who won the 'prettiest Toman member's heart, even poking fun at those who once had a crush on you.

— KAZUTORA

In the middle of all those men, it wasn't easy for you to find your place in Valhalla.

You often kept to yourself, feeling like you didn't really belong here. You had effortlessly managed to prove your strength and loyalty to the gang so everyone respected you and treated you as an equal — but it still felt weird to be surrounded with so many men, each more violent and intimidating than the other.

But with Kazutora, there was an instant connection that set him apart from the others.

Before you knew it, you were having secret meetings away from the prying eyes of the gang, and what began as just a friendship soon turned into something more.

Kazutora's affection towards you in public is subtle yet genuine. The two of you always make sure to stand away from each other during meetings and gatherings so as to not awake suspicions, but Kazutora quietly keeps an eye on you from a distance, checking up on you without drawing attention to your connection.

During fights, this protectiveness manifests in small yet meaningful gestures. Even though he trusts in your ability to handle yourself, he'll gladly position himself as a shield between you and any potential threats. He's always ready to divert attention away from you or take the hit in your place —which you often scold him for.

While it goes mainly unnoticed by others you can always tell when he does things for you, just to protect you. Sometimes, you manage to steal a quick kiss from him when nobody's looking, leaving a flustered Kazutora behind you.

— MIKEY.

Mikey is incredibly protective of you, which quickly makes people wonder if there's something going on between you. You both deny it every time, but you're not sure how much longer you'll manage to hide it — you're pretty sure Mikey has already told Draken anyway. (or Sanzu — depends if we're talking about Toman or Bonten Mikey)

It really doesn't help his case that he's always turning down his friend's invitations to hang out in favor of spending time with you. He doesn't explicitly tell them that — and he tries to cover up the fact that he's going out with you by using the excuse of wanting to stay at home and rest— but it doesn't take a genius to figure out his real intentions. It's no coincidence that you and Mikey are always unavailable at the same time.

The gang playfully teases him about his 'resting' time when they see him the next day, not realizing that these moments with you go beyond him simply sneaking away to see his girlfriend.

Your meetings are what keeps Mikey grounded, the very last anchor in his life that prevents him from completely losing himself.

When the weight of the world gets too overwhelming for him to bear, you become Mikey's refuge — the only person capable of providing the comfort he seeks and calming his racing thoughts.

— HANMA.

Hanma is a master at this whole secret relationship thing.

He effortlessly hides his feelings and shows no sign of concern for you, even when you get hurt during a fight or are facing threats from others. To the outside world, he treats you just like any other guy in Valhalla, pushing you to get up and keep fighting —fully aware that you can handle yourself and need no savior.

While he may not shower you with affection in public, there's another side of Hanma behind closed doors that only you gets to see;

As soon as the two of you are alone, he's all over you, always holding you close and kissing you like there's no tomorrow, getting all cocky over the fact that he's the only one allowed to kiss you and touch you like he does.

Of course, don't think he'll let the men who hurt you get away with it.

The next day, Hanma will take the matter into his own hands and seek out whoever hurt or threatened you. He doesn't give any explanation as to why he beats them up, simply brushing it off and telling everyone that he "just felt like it."

[thisisnotthenerd]

the ratgrinders' potential levels

cannot believe i was right about the xp reqs. the bad kids & the seven get 'special treatment' (milestone leveling and saving the world), while others have to work with xp. which tells you a lot about why people fled during prompocalypse.

ok getting into the algebra now: the rat grinders have gone into the far haven woods every day for the last two years, for 3 hours after school, and 9 hours/day on weekends. presumably they keep this up during the summer.

they have supposedly defeated 80,000 or more of three types of creatures: rats, spiders, and twig blights. there are some variations to what these could be, so here's a list of what this could encompass, assuming the ratgrinders are not facing creatures over CR 1.

giant rat: CR 1/8, 25 XP

swarm of rats: CR 1/4, 50 XP

giant wolf spider: CR 1/8, 25 XP

swarm of spiders: CR 1/2, 100 XP

giant flying spider: CR 1, 200 XP

giant spider: CR 1, 200 XP

ice spider: CR 1, 200 XP

twig blight: CR 1/8, 25 XP

needle blight: CR 1/4, 50 XP

thorn slinger: CR 1/2, 100 XP

vine blight: CR 1/2, 100 XP

razorvine blight: CR 1, 200 XP

thorny: CR 1: 200 XP

the full list is a little difficult to do calculations on, so let's condense it. assume a quarter of the 80000 creatures were CR 1/8, a quarter were CR 1/4, so on and so forth.

how much xp would they earn? how much would they level for the amount they ground? grinded? for?

critical assumption here: in the games i've played, we've always done milestone or zeroed out xp with each level, i.e. after earning 300 xp to get to level 2, you have to earn 900 xp to get to level 3, not 600. this analysis assumes that you have to earn the next levels xp reqs on top of your current total. i'm including the xp chart here to clarify:

level 1: 0 XP, +2, total 0 XP

level 2: 300 XP, +2, total 300 XP

level 3: 900 XP, +2, total 1200 XP

level 4: 2700 XP, +2, total 3900 XP

level 5: 6500 XP, +3, total 10400 XP

level 6: 14000 XP, +3, total 24400 XP

level 7: 23000 XP, +3, total 47400 XP

level 8: 34000 XP, +3, total 81400 XP

level 9: 48000 XP, +4, total 129400 XP

level 10: 64000 XP, +4, total 193400 XP

level 11: 85000 XP, +4, total 278400 XP

level 12: 100000 XP, +4, total 378400 XP

level 13: 120000 XP, +5, total 498400 XP

level 14: 140000 XP, +5, total 638400 XP

level 15: 165000 XP, +5, total 803400 XP

level 16: 195000 XP, +5, total 998400 XP

level 17: 225000 XP, +6, total 1223400 XP

level 18: 265000 XP, +6, total 1488400 XP

level 19: 305000 XP, +6, total 1793400 XP

level 20: 355000 XP, +6, total 2148400 XP

if we went cumulatively, based on the number of creatures the bad kids have defeated, they'd be getting up there in xp. we know they've had opportunities to defeat creatures outside of the quests that we've seen, given the oneshots. thus, i'm going with the second explanation, because otherwise the ratgrinders would be 19th level, and i don't think they are, because it would make any pvp setups super unbalanced, which are neither fun to play nor watch. this puts them on a little more even ground and emphasizes the amount of work it takes to xp grind to level against milestone leveling.

for the CR 1/8s: assuming roughly 20,000 creatures, they'd get 25 XP per, which means 500,000 xp. that's cumulatively enough to get to level 13, on just those creatures. divided 6 ways, assuming the ratgrinders have 6 members, it's 83,333.33, which is enough to get you to 10th level cumulatively and 8th non cumulatively.

this scales up to the 1/4s, 1/2s and the 1s since the xp gains double for each challenge rating rather than plateauing as they do at higher levels.

for the CR 1/4s: 1,000,000 xp. that's cumulatively enough to get to level 16 on just those creatures. divided 6 ways, assuming the ratgrinders have 6 members, it's 166,666.66, which is enough to get you to 15th level cumulatively and 9th non cumulatively.

for the CR 1/2s: 2,000,000 xp. divided 6 ways, assuming the ratgrinders have 6 members, it's 333,333.33, which is enough to get you to 19th level cumulatively, and 11th level non cumulatively.

and for the 1s, 4,000,000 xp. well over what you'd need to get to level 20, on just the CR 1s. divided 6 ways, assuming the ratgrinders have 6 members, it's 666,666.66, which is well over 20th level cumulatively, and 14th level non cumulatively.

using this estimate and adding all of this up, each member of the ratgrinders would have gathered enough xp to be level 20 cumulatively, and level 17 non cumulatively.

obviously the actual numbers would scale differently; initially, they would likely have to tackle these creatures as a party, but over time would take care of them individually. this is a bunch of kids doing the intro to class assignment for every assignment for two years straight.

level 20 seems extreme for the aguefort adventuring academy; let's scale it down a bit. the creatures specifically mentioned are probably giant rats, giant wolf spiders, and twig blights, based on the descriptions from jawbone.

all of these are CR 1/8, or 25 XP each. 80000 would give an xp total of 2,000,000, which would put each of the ratgrinders at around 11th level, a little higher level than the bad kids at the moment. however, since their fighting prowess scaled up, and they're probably going out in elmville and actively hindering the bad kids in some way, that level is very likely to increase.

what we saw in the episode

now the sticking point is mary ann rolling a 35. we know she got some kind of transmutation buff. a little tricky wording from brennan; fabian had enhance ability on, which is a transmutation spell. he did not say it was enhance ability.

mary ann is a barbarian, so she already gets advantage on athletics if she's raging, which i assume she was. the buff probably wouldn't be something that grants advantage.

assuming the lower estimate of 11th level, mary ann would get a +4 proficiency bonus, and i'm assuming she has 20 in strength, so +5 to her strength based skills, for a total of +9. at the high estimate of level 17, she would have a +6 to her proficiency bonus, which would give her a total of +11 to athletics. this is still not high enough to get a 35, even on a nat 20, which brennan would have declared if he had rolled one. she could conceivably accomplish this with the brawny feat, which allows for expertise in the athletics skill, which would give her a +17, meaning she could hit a 35 on a 18.

or, the buff was something like skill empowerment, which is a 5th level transmutation spell that gives the target expertise in a skill that they already have proficiency in. this spell is available to bards and wizards, among other classes, both of which we presume are in the ratgrinders. ruben could have cast skill empowerment on mary ann and given her bardic inspiration (lower estimate: d10, higher estimate: d12), both of which would have enabled that 35.

judging by the implication that she could not accomplish that feat without some kind of buff, i'm going with the latter explanation.

anyway i did too much math for this to not go in the stats series, or the school series. so this will be added to the spreadsheet later.

i hope this is useful.

[spookiesmausoleum]

𝐘𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐀-𝐙 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭

Remember to specify muse for multi-muse blogs!

A - Affection: How affectionate are they during sex? Is it different with people they're romantically involved with? Can they sleep with people they aren't?

B - Body: Are they into a specific physique? Why or why not? Are they just preferences or complete turn offs?

C - Chatter: Do they like to talk during the act? If so what do they like to talk about? Is it just dirty talk or something different?

D - Dominance: Are they into those types of power dynamics? Or do they like to stick to whose topping and bottoming? If they are into it why? If they aren't why not?

E - Erotica: Do they read or watch it? Does it get them in the mood? Do they create it themselves?

F - Food: Do they believe certain foods can be aphrodisiacs? If so what foods are like that for them? Do they like using food in the bedroom or is it too messy?

G - Group sex: Have they ever tried it? Would they ever want to try it if they haven't? If they don't enjoy it why not?

H - Humiliation: Are they into it? Why or why not? How far will they go? Do they enjoy being de-humanized or is it more being made fun of?

I - Intensity: Do they like intense scenes? Or are they more a slow and take their time kind of person?

J - Jousting: Do they like having more than one object or person inside of them? If so do they prefer toys or just multiple partners? Are they curious about it?

K - Kiss and Tell: Do they talk about their sex life to others? If they do do they go into detail or are they more casual about it? Do they share photos with other people or are those private?

L - Licking: Do they enjoy using their tongue on their partners or is it too gross? If so what are their favorite places to use their tongue?

M - Masturbation: Is it a part of sex for your muse? Or is it something completely different? Do they enjoy watching their partner or being watched?

N - Nope: Do they enjoy orgasm denial or do they want to see how many times they can make their partner cum? Somewhere in-between?

O - Open: Do they enjoy having things in their mouth? If so what are their favorite oral fixations? (fingers, toys, giving oral, etc.)

P - Preference: Does size really matter to your muse? Whether it be for others or toys in general. Do they have a favorite type of toy they like to use? If so is it the same to use on other people?

Q - Quiet: Do they enjoy trying to see how long their partner can last without making a sound? Do they enjoy loud or quiet partners?

R - Risk: Are they into some risky kinks? (breath play, exhibitionism, blood play, etc.) If so what are their favorites? Do they practice them safely?

S - Suspension: Are they into being suspended like on a swing or during rope play? Or if not, what's the highest place they've ever had sex?

T - TMI: Your opportunity to talk about any dirty thing you want to talk about with your muse. Could be kinks they like or just facts.

U - Underwear: Do they enjoy lingerie or dressing up for their partner? Or is it too much of a hassle? Favorite garments to wear? Do they ever go without underwear?

V - Violation: Are there any kinks your muse flat out won't do or even people they know? Are bringing them up enough to turn your muse away from a potential partner for good? Any pet names get them like that?

W - Water: Do they enjoy shower sex or anywhere else that's wet like a pool or hot tub? Is it too awkward?

X - X Ray: What's going on under your muse's clothes? Do they have any special scars or places they like to be touched or avoided? Describe their physique and anything else you'd like to expand on.

Y - Yes: Do they have any specific turn ons? Things that will automatically make your muse say yes to sleeping with someone else. If not what are some other things that get them in a more romantic mood? Lighting? Dinner?

Z - Zones: Favorite places they like to be touched? Are some less obvious than others? Any places they absolutely hate being touched?

[bakubunny]

i’m rotting on bnha bunny!reader owners.

bakugo -> gosh just the thought makes my head fuzzy…. everyone thought a bunny would be the worst hybrid for him to pick, especially you, the most timid of them all. he scowled mean, but he was the nicest and gentlest of all the people you met. he didn’t get in your space when you hid behind furniture while other hybrids explored and played with potential owners. he just crouched down and held out his hand. sat there waiting quietly until you were ready to curiously sniff his hand. let you curl up next to him and in his lap while he silently pet you or let you show him what you were comfortable with. and he gives you the freaking world at home. did the most research beforehand because he wanted everything to be perfect for you. and it nearly was.

aizawa -> intended on getting a cat hybrid, but you were too sweet and doe eyed to resist. he doesn’t regret it one bit. takes the best care of you and is so soft and loving and… ugh. he doesn’t let you get away with anything, though. makes some of the best homemade food. loves snuggles more than he admits. insists on being the one to wash and care for your hair & ears because you’re his bunny to take care of. loves the soft down fur of your rabbit feet and how it contrasts with the rest of your human body. also loved watching you get to know his two actual house cats who were skittish at first because you looked and smelled so different. but now you play with them all the time.

kirishima -> you were his first choice, but he wasn’t your first choice. your first choice would have been the guy with a big scar on his eye siting quietly in the corner… or maybe the dark haired lady who was giving out so many head pets and ear scritches…. but kiri was very friendly and energetic… he was more like those puppy hybrids who were always so loud and up to something, but when he stretched out his hand, you gave him a chance. he had to learn how to temper himself around you as to not make you skittish, and you eventually warmed up to his loud, energetic personality. definitely gives the best snuggles ever. he’s super warm all the time, so you can’t help but curl up next to him. and he always cooes such sweet things when he’s petting you and holding you. he’s also super fun to play with and gets you lots of toys.

[sirgogington]

This might be a little unorganized and is definitely an unpopular opinion in this community, but I'm going to say it anyway. Feel free to unfollow. I wasn't going to post about it, but honestly I am so upset for George in this situation. I want to preface that I am a 28 year old female so maybe my thinking is a little different due to that.

The more I read about people's reactions to the George situation the more angry I feel. George was being accused of sexual assault, and the consensus is "he fucked up and should have asked for consent."

My bold take is that I have little sympathy for Caiti. She is a woman who regrets flirting with George, which she has the right to. But her story really made it seem like George randomly started touching her inappropriately, forced her to drink more when she was already drunk, purposely preyed on her because she was 18, and followed her out of the room to the elevator.

None of these things happened. She was drunk beforehand and her friends that she went to Dreams room with wanted to play drinking games. George didn't randomly start touching her. They were sitting together on the couch playing a game with the rest of the group and mutually decided to start cuddling. Caiti got up multiple times and would always come back and cuddle with George. Over the hour of cuddling they were flirting with each other, playfighting etc. When cuddling George started with his hands on her hips above her clothes, and then after he assumed she was comfortable with what he was doing, given the previous signals of her laughing, smiling, and coming back to cuddle with him then he placed his hands on her waist under her clothes. He said he would slowly move them up after awhile. She didn't show any signs of being uncomfortable. She could have pushed his hand away or told him she was uncomfortable with that, but she didn't. She could of left if she felt uncomfortable or sat somewhere else, but she didn't. She also didn't have to walk with George to the elevator, but she did. She didn't have to keep in contact with him afterwards but again she did. It's no wonder why George was understandably confused, and assumed everyone had had a fun night that night, and was blindsided by these accusations. George said that he made a joke about the elevator being broken, but saw when she wasn't open to getting in the elevator with her then he backed off.

Her friends also knowingly put her this situation. They left her unattended while she was drunk in the hotel room with Dream and George and whoever else was left. Going to a drinking social at 18 is a risky situation in the first place, this is why in college I avoided frat parties because I knew what could potentially happen if I went.

George literally did not do anything wrong, and people are painting him as a monster. Now that Caiti did this stream he has lost a lot of his fanbase and friends for no reason, because God forbid you support George. If you support George you must hate woman, because he's evil. Like people have said this could have all been handled privately. Just simple communication like "hey I actually regret what happened at Vidcon, and I didn't actually like that you were cuddling me looking back" or something along those lines. If George is a decent person which it seems like he is he would say okay and apologize most likely, and they could have not had this nasty drama for no reason.

I believe there is non-verbal consent, and most people in that type of situation would rely on that more than verbal consent. They test things like George was doing and slowly progress things. He could have asked if she was okay with it, but she was showing all the signs over the 3 hours that she was. He's not making you stay if you get uncomfortable. Where non-verbal consent doesn't work is if George would have groped her after a half our of flirting. That would absolutely be wrong, and need to be apologized for.

George was defensive in his video because he needed to be. After being accused of all these things you didn't do, and Caiti leaving out details you would be defensive to. She made him out to look really bad. She blew the situation way out of proportion and George has to suffer due to this. I really think that George didn't need to post the extra apology tweet, that the livestream would of been enough to show that he had no malicious intentions and was sorry that Caiti felt strongly about what had happened.

The whole support victims things in this situation makes me upset as well. There were no victims because there was no sexual assault. Yet if you don't say I 100% support the victim then suddenly your evil and hate woman. Without there being a victim it seems dumb to put that but if you don't then you're follower count also takes a hit as a content creator. George didn't fuck up, he acted in a way most men would, and probably even in a more gentleman like way to be honest.

It also upset me as someone who has experienced very real sexual assault. The guy was 25 and I was 18. I didn't want anything sexual/romantic with him because I could see the age gap, and told him that. He invited me to his apartment which I thought would be innocent because I presented my boundaries, but then he started taking off my clothes and telling me I was okay with it over and over until I believed him and let it happen, while feeling really uncomfortable. My body language did not show any interest, just confusion. I remember answering "I don't know" when he asked for consent to touch me, but he would just keep asking until I said okay. He purposely preyed on the younger women because he knew they were easier to coerce and more vulnerable. Looking back I didn't really knew where I stood on hook up culture. He convinced me he could teach me a few things that I could use with my sexual partners in the future. Luckily it never progressed to him taking my virginity. He bragged about how many girls he had slept with, and how many he had took their virginity. I would have been just a number to him. I am so much more than just a number. (he did a lot of other sexual things with me after coercing me into saying okay. Stuff I can detail if you care to know. I remember saying out loud that I was glad that I still had my virginity and I'm glad he didn't take it afterall. Not purposely leaving out, but it was way more than Caiti had experienced with George. For my situation there was a high likelihood it would happen again to another girl like me, and I remember wanting to warn them. It's different because my attacker did have malicious intents even though he disguised it as me consenting.) Being in the mindset I am now I would have never let any of it happen, but I am much more in tune with my thoughts and opinions on things. I would have noticed all the red flags and I would have never put myself in a 1 on 1 situation with an older guy like that or any guy unless I were dating them.

Outside the fandom I've noticed that a lot of people agree with me in this. It's just within the fandom that people are of this support the victim mindset, even when said victim turns out to not have been a victim of anything. I don't know if it's different with younger people that you have to ask for verbal consent for everything, but it just seems dumb. Everyone was also drunk and not thinking straight so sober minded Georgenotfound would have probably asked for consent before he moved his hands up. It's hard to know. I think other content creators probably do agree with me, but they aren't able to have their own opinions, which to me seems gross and fake. We can't genuinely know how content creators feel on certain issues because if were to tell what they truly thought and it wasn't the majority consensus then they risk their viewership which is also twisted.

[chains-of-destiny]

Few families can say that they've been blessed by the gods, and even fewer can count ancestors as illustrious and celebrated as Niemon, your great-grandfather. He was the very man who led the rebellion against a tyrannical magocracy and laid the founding stones for a free and fair republic. Your family was destined for greatness and respect, but your grandfather ruined it all… You are the heir to House Serin, and the burden of your family's legacy weighs heavily on you. However, your destiny is much greater than that of your forefathers, maybe even the great Niemon's. So, let the chronicles begin! But remember, the chains of destiny are strong and will not be easily broken. Do you have the power to defy fate?

This is the first book of Chains of Destiny, a planned trilogy where you step into the shoes of the heir to House Serin. Set in the fictional continent of Runsas, your choices will not only shape your life but also impact the lives of those around you and the future of the republic. Uncover the secrets behind your grandfather's betrayal, break free from the chains that bind you, and finally take control of your destiny.

The game is more character/story-focused and places less emphasis on stats.

[Link to the demo]

Total word count: ~190k words (as of 2024/05/01)

ROs | Forum Page  | Update Log

The intention is not to make the story as dark as possible but to establish a living, breathing world that exists within the setting it found itself in. So, you will not be swimming in a sea of blood and body parts, it is not the point of the story. Still, I feel obliged to warn any potential players before playing this game, as certain scenes contain things that may not be for everyone.

Reader Discretion Advised: This content may be disturbing or triggering for some players. Proceed with caution and consider your own emotional well-being before continuing.

[Content warning] - this game currently contains (or will contain in the future):

Strong language

Graphic scenes of violence

Graphic depictions of injuries, wounds, and corpses

Scenes of physical and emotional abuse

Blood and gore

Dark and disturbing themes

Body horror - Transformation (skippable)

Alcohol and drug use

Mentions and references to animal death

Mutilation

Physical and psychological Trauma

War crimes

Manipulation and gaslighting

Themes of authoritarianism and oppression/discrimination of certain groups of people

Themes of war and conflict

- The list may or may not expand as the development progresses.

Also, this story was created purely out of my passion for writing. It does not intend to preach or lecture anyone about any particular topic or belief.

If you feel that any part of this game is preaching or trying to convey a specific message, it is unintentional, and I sincerely apologize. The primary goal is to provide an enjoyable and fun experience for everyone.

PS: I should've already made a post like this in the beginning, but somehow I just forgot to.😄

[official-cvntified-gay]

Play Pretend (Reneé Rapp x Reader)

𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘱𝘰𝘦𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘴 "𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦"

﹒⪩⪨﹒

"It's all for publicity Reneé" Her manager explained, she tilted her head at her management. She's still skeptical about the idea, her manager didn't say who.

"I don't know... who is it with?" She finally asked, her team looked at each other before Adam said your name.

"Y/n L/n" she swallowed thickly, not believing her ears.

"Now why didn't you start with that?" She mumbled incredulously. Adam rolled his eyes at that, knowing that the deal's already settled.

A few weeks into your new relationship, the teams discussed how you would blow this relationship up. Truth be told, you're just doing this for fun, you were asked for help by a dear friend.

And it also didn't hurt when you have such a pretty thing.

Given your reputation, you don't need any further proof that you're successful. Your name speaks for itself.

Some would say you're doing charity work. But looking at Reneé's endless potential, you think otherwise. You wonder what else could you help her with.

You argued about that with Adam. But he explained that the management "wants to speed it up" which you called bullshit, seeing right through them.

But you both won't lose anything if you do this.

So, here you are. In a well-known bar, hands wrap protectively around her waist. Despite your argument that she doesn't need you to boost her name. Your teams suggested that you go out on a date to stir the conversation.

But you found it to be cliche, knowing this situation quite well. You told them to trust you with this and took Reneé to a bar, of course, you asked if she was all right with this and she agreed instantly.

"You alright, darling?" Your words are smooth, and you are quite known as someone suave. And that's exactly why Reneé admires you. Your thumb caresses her clothed skin, and you pull her closer to you. You gave her a soft smile when she let out a small gasp.

"So pretty in my arms" You caress her cheek with your other hand. She let out a ragged breath, her breath warm and her hand on your chest trembled lightly as she squeezed her thighs together.

"Yeah! Let's grab a drink!" She brushed off the situation, enthusiastically pulling you to get a drink. You spend the night having fun. Your bodies dance with each other as you try to converse through the loud sound of music and people.

"Are you having fun?" She questioned, hands around your neck while yours on her waist. Your body glistens with a few sweats.

"I am actually." You grinned while you swayed your bodies. "So how is this supposed to boost us?" You smiled at her, before whispering in her ear.

"Trust me." You winked before letting the music take over your bodies, once you both had enough. You took her outside. Making sure that she's well taken care of.

Outside the bar, you found some bench to sit on. You notice how her hair bothers her, so you put her hair into a ponytail, kissing her forehead after doing so. She mumbled a small thank you while looking up with those eyes of her.

"You're adorable" You gave her nose a peck before removing the jacket you wore, and you put it on her. Making sure to check on her every few minutes.

Reneé knows her limits, but for some reason, she wants to be taken care of, especially if it's from you.

She wants to be babied.

"Can we go home?" She asked softly, you couldn't help but giggle at her cuteness. You nodded "All alright darling, I'll call my driver" With that you call your driver, her head on your shoulder while you stroke her cheeks softly as you talk to June.

You kissed her head, you put down your phone. Smiling when you notice something in your surroundings. You continued stroking her cheeks while she slurred out her drunken thoughts.

You nodded and agreed with her throughout her speech, smiling fondly at her. It's not hard to like this woman.

After a few minutes, June pulled up. You carefully guide her inside the car. Taking her to your house, you help her sober up for a moment in your guest room. You gave her your hoodie and comfy pajamas. You prepared some ibuprofen and water in case she woke up with a hangover.

"Holy shit!" You heard her voice, your face forming a proud smile as your plan worked. You sip your coffee while you wait for her.

"Good morning, darling" you greeted with a rasped voice, she looked up from her phone to look at you with wide eyes. "You've seen this?" She walked closer to you to give you her phone.

"I made breakfast" You motion your head to the food you set up for her before looking at her phone.

"Cute pics," you said calmly, Reneé looked up from her eating her food. You sounded like you're just looking at some cute dog pics.

"What?" She asked confused, you gave her phone back.

"Send the pics to me, we look cute," you said before continuing with your coffee. She quickly dm the pics to you.

You saved the pics that the paparazzi took last night at the bar, you saw them taking pictures before you went home. They are so predictable, hanging where they know celebrities hang out.

So you weren't surprised when the pictures would end up online. You forwarded the image to your team, sending them an "I told you so" message.

"How'd you know?" Strangely, Reneé doesn't call you with pet names. She felt that it was too intimate for her. Knowing that she would mean it if she called you any pet names.

"Doesn't matter, but it's probably all over socials." Knowing her fans and yours, it was all over the media.

"What do we do next?" she had a few ideas in mind, and you smiled at her. "Nothing, we watch how they take it" Renee nodded, knowing that you were right and her pounding head didn't give her a chance to answer.

"Did you take the ibuprofen?" you sigh when she shook her head. "I was shocked and ran to find you" You set down your cup before walking away to get her something to cure her hangover.

"What do you wanna do today?" Once you handed her the medicine she asked.

"Get to know each other" you answered surely, knowing that to successfully fool the public. You have to at least know each other.

You both spent the day with each other, it was nice. You got to know each other, surprised at how comfortable and easy it is to speak with her. You notice how you enjoy her presence and her personality.

Renee's drawn on you, listening to every word you say. She likes you and it's not hard to like her. Throughout the day you painted each other's nails.

You took a quick picture of her painting your nails, knowing what you should do next. She noticed you taking pictures and posed for a few photos before concentrating again.

Renee found these moments memorable. She knew she would think about this for a while. Once the day ended, you two parted ways.

You scroll down on your phone, you smile as you see countless of images and a few video clips of you and Renee at the bar. You scroll through TikTok to see your For You page full of edits of yours and Renee's. You applaud their creativity.

You saw a few vids of influencers talking about your so-called "hard launch" Time flies as you watched, liked, and reposted some few TikTok about relationships. Not reposting videos of you both. But liking a few cute videos since for sure the creators would inform their viewers that you liked the vid, that would lead to them further believing your relationship.

You sent a few cute edits to Renee, laughing at her comments. You both discuss a few things that you could do together to feed into the already blowing-up conversation.

Reneé's never reliant on one person, she likes to do things herself. But she's always saying yes to you. Going along with your plan, she loves how you take initiative.

"You do it your way baby. I'll follow" she says, now more comfortable with throwing pet names. You always make sure that what you're doing is for both of your benefits.

Deciding to keep appearance, you take her into one of your many interviews. And Reneé just follows because she knew you would take care of her needs.

"What are you doing?" Her voice is soft and small, she follows your movements with her eyes. "Just making sure you'd be comfortable" You held her hand and lead her to the set. You greeted everyone and introduced yourself.

"Hi, I'm Y/n L/n and I'm gonna be reading some of your most unhinged thirst tweets." Once you're in front of the camera, you're in your element. You're one of the most requested people to read some thirst tweets. You winked at the camera, while silently preparing yourself.

Because knowing how Twitter can be, you let out a giggle as you read the first tweet.

"I want y/n to manhandle me, choke me, spank me. Thank you" you giggle in between your sentences. You look at the camera and the people behind it, laughing as you hide your face with your hands.

"Ma'am? I guess we're starting with a bang. I hear you darling" You grab a new paper, muttering an "Oh God" as you read the sentence.

"It's from @calmed_t1ts I want y/n to breastfeed me like the mother she is" I looked at the camera while biting my lip. The staff laughed at the tweet and I could hear Reneé let out a small scream when I read the tweet.

"You know, my mother never breastfed me-" I proceeded to tell a whole different story at the same time acknowledging the tweet.

"I want this framed in my room by the way." You shook your head with a wide smile, before grabbing the next paper.

"Oooh, come here darling" you motion for Renee to come as the tweet addresses you both, you look at the staff for approval and they nod.

You guided her to sit on your lap casually, and you gave her the paper for her to read.

"Looove the username, deal" Renee nodded, not even flinching at the tweet. She looked at you for approval. You shrugged your shoulders at her.

"Give me details, darling" You looked at the camera, and before you could say something. Renee remembered something.

"Oohh remember when you-"

"Okay, thank you so much dearest!" You gave her a quick tight hug to silence her, before you playfully motioned her out of your lap. She giggled while she stood up.

The rest of the segment where with Reneé, it's unplanned but it was so fun and memorable. It shows how easy things are with Reneé.

You couldn't wait to see where this thing leads you...

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘦𝘮? 𝘫𝘬

(𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘱𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘱 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦😭)

𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘥

[elkian]

I've seen a lot of takes about the Hbomb video - here's a link; he's also done some similar works criticizing Allen Wakefield (accidentally instigated the prime anti-vax movement while trying to scam people) and Tommy Tallerico (similar vein to The Video, of plagiarism/credit theft).

I've also enjoyed some of his teardown videos, but my real favorites are his Why FNV Is Genius (and Here's Why) and Pathologic Is Genius (And Here's Why), which lead me to buying and playing (some of) Pathologic 2.

One thing worthy of note is that he specifically requests that nobody start a witch hunt over the subjects of his videos. He is an opinionated person and his righteous indignation is very entertaining, but I've never seen him seriously suggest people harass any real human beings. Suggestions to do so after watching the video have been made by the viewers and are explicitly condemned by Hbomb himself in the video. Just saying.

But more to the point is how he ends the video: he decides to cap it off with a reel of suggested viewing for people who create the kinds of things Somerton allegedly made himself, focusing on queer creators.

Here's the playlist linked in the video description:

I don't doubt other people have shared this already, but it hasn't crossed my dash, so I thought I'd give it a mention. It's a really nice way to end a video that, while focusing on informing the viewers and warning people of potential scammers essentially, does have a negative tone at times because he is, well, tearing into someone's monumental career of plagiarism.

The playlist links to videos by Alexander Avila (who was himself plagiarized by Somerton), Matt Baume, Lady Emily, verilybitchie, RickiHirsh, Shanspeare, Khadija Mbowe, hazel, Herby Revolus, Maggie Mae Fish, Kaz Rowe, Kat Blaque, Lily Alexandre, max teeth, drapetomania, Kameno -o, Lola Sebastian, Princess Weekers, CJ The X, Jennie Geist, Mia Mulder, Nick DiRamio, Sarah Z, Rowan Ellis, and finally Maven of the Eventide.

(I have chosen to spare my wrists and sanity by not hyperlinking those names because the playlist is literally right there.)

Fun facts: this list, which apparently also has nonbinary and trans artists on it, contains 0 names I am already familiar with. I don't spend a lot of time on Youtube outside of very specific needs, but this still makes for a good opportunity for me to familiarize myself with work from others in the community.

Anyways, I just think that's an extremely cool way to end a four-hour-video that, while extremely entertaining, is a bit of a down to watch and realize how easily extremely unmotivated people are stealing others' work and making bank off of it. That's all I had to say, goodnight.

[miguelswifey04]

This my first time requesting for something

Can u write an badboy miguel x goodgirl reader fanfic (college au,u can pick)

Idk where goodgirl reader is an shy yet an obedient person,who does whatever people want,and only thinking about it as an kind gesture, and who doesn't know any Spanish and where badboy miguel is very much have more fun teasing reader with his knowledge of Spanish,then hanging out with his friends, but can get jealous,(but doesnt show it and just scared them away with his cold glare)when someone touches his Conejito/bunny, or trys to take advantage of her,(whenever he see someone being flirty with reader he will just walked over there an place his head on her shoulder and pull her close to him, and while glaring at the person with such an harsh and cold glare to them)

(Umm... u couldddd put smut in it as well,if u want 😅)

Anyway thanks for it and have an great day🤗

omg yes ofc!! i love this idea so so much!! thank you lots for requesting love 💕

bad boy! miguel x good girl! reader (college au)

cw// slightly suggestive & somewhat contains smut (nsfw 18+, smut; with plot)

summary; two distinctive personalities meet and find’s themselves irrevocably drawn to one another. cliche, as always the bad boy always falling for the goody two shoes of a good girl <3

the bad boy, miguel o'hara, exudes confidence and mischief, while the good girl, you, is obedient and kind-hearted. little did they know, their paths were about to collide, igniting a passionate and intense connection.

you was always willing to help out others, often going above and beyond to please those around you. you believed in the power of kind gestures, never considering your selflessness as a weakness. miguel, on the other hand, was known for his mischievous nature and snarky sense of humor. he took pleasure in teasing others, especially the shy and reserved person that you were, who had captivated his attention.

one day, as you crossed paths in the college library, miguel couldn't resist the opportunity to tease reader with his knowledge of spanish. he strolled up beside you, a sly grin playing on his lips. "hola, conejito," he said in a smooth, teasing voice, using the spanish word for bunny. you blushed, not understanding the meaning but captivated by his voice.

“i’m sorry, i don't speak spanish," you replied, your voice filled with shyness.

miguel chuckled, leaning in closer. "don’t worry, conejito, i can teach you," he said, his voice laced with seductive undertones. he spent hours teaching you naughty spanish phrases, relishing your adorable reactions and the growing bond between them.

as your friendship grew, miguel became fiercely protective of you. his jealousy ignited whenever someone dared to flirt with you or tried to take advantage of your kind nature. without hesitation, he would stride over, placing his head on your shoulder and pulling you close, his cold glare silencing any potential threat.

one fateful evening, after a night of teasing and stolen glances, your true desires could no longer be contained. miguel, unable to resist any longer, pinned you against the wall, his eyes filled with raw passion. "you drive me crazy, conejito," he growled, his voice husky with desire. "i can't keep my hands off you."

with a hunger that had been building for far too long, miguel claimed your lips with an intensity that left you both breathless. your bodies pressed against each other, your senses heightened by the electric energy between you. clothes were shed, revealing miguel’s muscular form and the innocence of your body.

as you indulged in each other's pleasure, miguel explored every inch of your body, leaving no doubt in your minds of his desire and yearning for you. your moans mingled in the air, echoing in the confined space as your connection deepened with each intimate touch.

in that moment, as miguel made love to you, your worlds collided in a symphony of raw emotions and unbridled passion. the shy and obedient you discovered a newfound sense of liberation, while the bad boy miguel found solace and tenderness in the arms of the person who had stolen his heart.

your bodies moved in perfect harmony, your desires intertwining in a dance of ecstasy. miguel showered you with affection and devotion, disregarding the world outside those four walls. and as you reached the pinnacle of your pleasure, your release crashed over you like a tidal wave, leaving you both breathless and utterly satisfied.

wrapped in each other's arms, your bodies still trembling from the intensity of your connection, you both knew that your love and desire would continue to burn brightly. the college campus may have seen your passionate encounters, but the depth and intensity of your love would remain a secret between you, your hearts forever entwined in a bond that defied the norms of their college lives.

tags 🏷️!! @kairiscorner @emiemiemiii @astro1bloom @obi-mom-kenobi @sabcandoit @meeom

[pageofheartdj]

All jokes and horny aside(I do love horny and specific position only🙏 and them fighting over everything always ever and ooc fun scenarious) radioapple are so interesting to think about, about their dynamics, and the characters in general. So I will!

As they are in canon now, Lucifer did not care for Alastor plus the general disgust(and guilt) towards sinners. And then the song happened and Alastor became Lucifer's enemy number one xD If Alastor will drop it, Lucifer won't have a reason to hate on him, but initial negative imperssion is still there.

And Alastor, he is a mysterious guy. The abusive dad is still a theory, him being momma boy and therefore connecting with women better doesn't say anything about his dad situation. The Lilith's deal is also just a theory for now. So for me his immediate negative reaction comes from the same place as his annoyance at Carmilla disregarding him. He wants to be on the top, the most unknown, the most powerful one, the most scary one. He loves attention, he loves keeping everyone alert with his antics.

And he loves being in control, his plans going exactly the way he wants them, not that he can't improvise. He immediately tenses when he sees the sign welcoming dad, he knows. The King of Hell has the ultimate power, the ultimate influence, the ultimate importance. Alastor does not mind someone being more than him in something like he is politely neutral with Zestial. But the hotel carries importance for Alastor's plans so he feels threatened. Before with Charlie's daddy issues I guess he did not expect to see him anytime soon. But here he is, threatening to pull Charlie from his influence, from her needing his powers.

But then we see him being completely chill and not antagonistic at all. One of the reasons I think is that he let his stim out, for a reason being restricted in his activities, the deals he can make, the souls he can take, the kills. And because Charlie needed Lucifer to arrange a meeting with Heaven, something that only Lucifer can do. And that's it. So he lets go for a bit.

Who knows what dynamic season 2 will bring, now that Lucifer stays at the hotel and Alastor took a hard blow at his ego and reputation.

In the wiki it is stated Alastor dislikes people who are like him, but likes people who are more like him, but who knows where is this line. He also said to like Willy Wonka character for being an entertainer and a dick. And Lucifer was told to be like that character. For now Lucifer is a depressed sad baby, but we saw how he can be when he is fucking with others. Alastor likes fun, no matter how this fun is done. Potentially he can enjoy Lucifer's presence. Not to mention, he respects power, at least when the whatever deal with Alastor is done, potentially.

Don't know how prevalent this is now, but both seem to enjoy collecting certain things, like ducks and those firby toys. Both were drawn to dance-vibe with each other.

Speaking of, both love music and play instruments, they can totally jam with each other, making their own little concerts.

Lucifer's idea of sinners will be definetely challenged with Alastor. It's one thing to meet a nice sinner and think 'ah they are not like everyone else'. But it's a completely different thing when this sinner is exactly what you hate about them, the maniac who loves violence. And then you have to come to terms that even THEY can become better, can have something to them. Lucifer drowned himself in guilt and shame, it would be nice to get a bit in touch with people in Hell. Because it seems like he stays away from most things sinners bring with themselves.

Alastor was told to like theatres, so it would be nice for them to go together, to try and see something good from humanity even in Hell. Something that can still keep not being corrupted. And humans creativity and artistism can definetely spark more hope back to Lucifer.

And I think Lucifer would appreciate someone who treats him as equal, it doesn't look like he cares much about being a King, so having someone who will not shy away at punching first can be good.

Lucifer's main support of course would be Charlie(and hopefully hotel crew), but having someone who he can rely to get things actually done is pleasant. He is a King of Hell but he doesn't often act like one, he surely will benefit from someone who can act appropriately spooky. (He can get scary, but I think he needs to get MAD mad for this side of him to appear and at that point you better have Charlie around to calm him down)

And they have to keep the beef part of their interactions, it's just fun to have someone you can freely argue with with no hard feelings afterwards, just a battle of words, their interests don't always aligning. And it's fun to mindlessly banter about them. Like their sweet and bitter food preference, or cooking techniques, etc. Small irrelevant things, or maybe even some clash of ideals, but it is oh so fun to let yourself go lose and not hold back.

It would be nice for them to develop mutual respect and learn to care about each other's boundaries, be it the painful personal history, or choices of leading the relationship.

Yes, the aroace situation. Start with simple, I do not believe Lucifer is straight(nor NT xD) and he is perfectly sex-positive(he started with no experience and no shame either xD). He is more on a demi spectrum for me, getting excitedly horny only with close people(one-times can happen, it's a grey(literally) area). And Alastor... he is touch-aversed until you are close, then the touching is required(both gentle and playful and rough, depending if he wants to sooth himself or get energised or let the stim out). The same with the bed situation. He gets attracted long after all the other bonds are formed. He is sex-indifferent, never wanted with anyone so never went there. He is perfectly content with himself. And when it starts, yet again, depending on what it feels like in the moment.(cannibalism was not the only thing he grew to like in Hell(¬‿¬))

[azrielgreen]

There's a reason I always moderate comments but i approved this one so people can see how truly vile it gets sometimes. I'm not arrogant. I don't think the way I write is better at all. Exploring them on an authentic level means exploring this, or any, version of them with wholehearted passion, not that this is the authentic interpretation of them. Writing intense stuff isn't a brag, it's a warning so people can be prepared for stuff like arguments and confrontations. I always over-warn for CW stuff so that, again, people are prepared. I never once have asked people to read it. It's just there and I've tried my best to a) write something i loved and b) thoroughly warn those who might read it. Any interpretation of the characters is valid and worth exploring. It's so sad to see a reeled off list of all the way Steve "should be" and the implication that nothing but strict canon adherence could ever be a passionate, worthy exploration. It's... only fanfic? It's not real. They're not real. Nothing is real and everything is possible and that's supposed to be what's fun about it.

I write the characters very intensely, so yes, they are often out of character, sorry for... warning about that? I write different backgrounds for them and play with the negative space of possibilities and potential and i do this with authentic curiosity and passion because I love doing it and i get very into it. Sorry for warning about that too, I guess? When I first started writing in this fandom, some people pointed out to me that I could CW warn for them being OOC and that was new to me, i didn't think I had to warn for that. I thought people would read the tags, like in other fandoms, and understand that the story would do different things with the characters but it became clear that this was actually solid advice as this was a fandom obsessed with "canon adherence" and policing. So I thought I would CW as thoroughly as I could so no one would be shocked or disappointed and then maybe they wouldn't leave an essay of hate in the comments.

But ultimately, people like this would only be satisfied if I deleted everything and stopped writing. I barely participate in this fandom as it is beyond answering asks and writing. I don't rec my own work. The thing i don't ever want, and this is why it was worrying seeing something like YD becoming "popular", is for people to feel like they *should* read my work without having gone and looked for it via the tags. Without having found it naturally, just by browsing and thinking "that's definitely for me". I've only ever posted for small rarepairs in the past so a couple of comments on a fic always made me so happy. I write for myself and the few others in the world who might like it. I have never written for an audience. If you don't like something I wrote, it's not for you. Genuinely. Move along to the next, no? That's what I would do.

This was so spiteful and targeted. YD is so old at this point, I just don't understand people who do shit like this. I don't bother anyone and I try to be here for anyone who needs me. I CW as thoroughly as I can. I don't think I'm better than anyone. I think every single iteration of these characters is worthy and valid and what matters is how fun they were to write, for the author. I had so much fucking fun with these stories that seeing this miserable little rant seems pointless to me. I don't care if you didn't like it. I don't care if it wasn't to your taste. Writing it was what I wanted. Sharing it is secondary, always. It's fanfiction, written for free in my spare time. I didn't take up space, I didn't trample anyone. There is no reason for this beyond spite.

I am sorry about the vest/jacket mixup, however. Truly, genuinely from the bottom of my heart devastatingly sorry about that. I know it'll take time for people to forgive me and maybe no one ever will, I have to make my peace with that.

Anyway, thanks for loudly projecting your feelings onto me and my work.

💜💜💜

[bloodofasteria]

👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽 how to find out about your future spouse (sidereal) 🪽 pt.1

( CONFUSED? NEED HELP? → EXAMPLES ! )

✴︎ where/how/when am i going to meet them?

take your moon sign and

make it the asc, check the

ruling planet of the desc

and see what house it’s in:

1st house → while expressing the self, during a first impression, public outings, popular places where people make “appearances” (disney land, concerts, fan con’s or whatever, etc)

2nd house → when making money/working, going about your daily routine, doing something out of habit

3rd house → speaking publicly, introduced by siblings or friends that act like siblings, doing social activities and interests, may have met them in early education or could possibly be a neighbor

4th house → homelike environments, places you’re comfortable in, introduced by mother, family, lady friends, feminine friends or children, environments indulgent in self-care (beauty salons, yoga, spas, etc) or places you have roots from

5th house → places where you play, have fun, express your inner child and overall self-expression (parks, parties, creative arts, etc) environments where you express creativity (acting, painting, making/playing music, making arts n crafts, etc)

6th house → places where you’re giving a service of some kind (pet/homeless shelters), places of health and fitness, in a system of some kind (rehab, jail, church, school, etc)

7th house → places where contracts take place, introduced by current relationship/business partners or friends who are taken/married, “romantic” places like those planned to matchmake you to meet potential partners or environments where equality takes place

8th house → institutions of the occult or shared resources (libraries, cults, stores, etc) places that death/rebirth or transformation occurs (hospitals, graves/funerals, doctor offices, etc)

9th house → places in higher education, during long distance travel, environments of spirituality, philosophy or religion

10th house → while accomplishing long term goals, introduced by father, guy friends or those who have a masculine presence, places where you’re doing your career

11th house → introduced by friend groups or a community of some kind, meeting online through social media, places where networking happens or communities get together

12th house → places where healing, isolation and solitude goes down (mental hospitals, prison, rehab, etc) introduced by people of an older age, during endings taking place and gaining closure of some kind

✴︎ what is my future spouse like? what do they look like?

find your darakaraka (the

planet in your chart that

holds the lowest degree

out of all traditional planets)

☉ sun → future spouse is confident, radiant, extroverted but has the ability to be egotistical, selfish and dramatic. indicates a partner who’s attractive and has a high status in society. could be tall, have a fair to medium complexion and brown hair

☾ moon → future spouse is caring, intimate, intuitive but has the ability to be overly-sensitive, moody and overly-emotional. indicates a partner who is willing to compromise and has a drive towards music. native with dk planet in moon could have multiple marriages. could be short, curvy, feminine looking, chubby or dark complexion/features

☿ mercury → future spouse is talkative, youthful, friendly but has the ability to be carefree, judgemental and inconsistent. indicates a partner who is younger than the native and when the two of you meet they may be in another relationship. could be of medium height and have strong cheekbones

♀venus → future spouse is charming, romantic, compromising, but has the ability to be materialistic, a people-pleaser and slow at building momentum in the relationship. indicates a partner who is beautiful/handsome, highly connected and wealthy. could be of medium height, have dark eyes and possess beautiful hair

♂ mars → future spouse is courageous, bold, adventurous, but has the ability to be argumentative, dominating and impulsive. indicates a partner who is very protective, highly sexually active, into sports/fitness (could be an athlete) and someone who can fix/solve things in life. could be physically strong, physically active, have broad shoulders, bright eyes, tinted complexion and colored hair

♃ jupiter → future spouse is charitable, creative, spiritual, but has the ability to be tactless, spacey and overly-optimistic. indicates a partner who is loyal, very wealthy/rich, protective, well educated, humorous and a lover of traveling and exploring different cultures. could be of medium to tall height, good build, has light eye color, from a foreign national and might be chubby

♄ saturn → future spouse is firm, pragmatic, mature, but has the ability to be cold, stubborn, and unromantic. indicates a partner who is duty-bound, is significantly older than the native, subject to be in a long lasting relationship with the native despite hard times. could be tall, thin, dark hair/eyes, thick eyebrows, strong and notable cheekbones and bones in general

✴︎ when talking about future spouses in vedic, most astrologers say to use jupiter for husband and venus for wife. what sign & house it’s in can also give more details on your future spouse

♈︎ aries → partner is strong, ambitious, independent and likely to initiate and take on the leadership role in the relationship. most likely accomplished in chosen career.

in 1st house → indicates a partner who will bring out your true and best self. will be very open and direct about their attraction towards you. can expand your sense of self and make you feel self-assured.

♉︎ taurus → partner is calm, security-oriented, practical and likely to be vocal about their beliefs and go after someone who shares the same views. most likely to take their time when making big decisions.

in 2nd house → indicates a partner who will make you feel lucky and blessed. marriage will be full of mutual benefits and financial blessings. can benefit from blind dates or arranged meetings.

♊︎ gemini → partner is witty, intellectual, versatile and likely to be attracted to a bunch of different personality types. most likely to date around a bit before finding someone who they like. tends to attract difficult relationships.

in 3rd house → indicates a partner who will be communicative with you and think about you a lot. marriage will be full of social activities and doing common interests together. can fall in love with someone you grew up with.

♋︎ cancer → partner is compassionate, nurturing, emotional and likely not worried about showing their feelings to you. you two will most likely have a happy home life/family life with children.

in 4th house → indicates a partner who will be protective over you and who feels like home. marriage will be cozy and built on an emotional foundation. can benefit from attending dinner parties hosted by friends or walking your dog near home.

♌︎ leo → partner is outgoing, attentive, affectionate and likely to shower you with gifts and treat you like royalty. most likely to be widely known and the center of attention at times.

in 5th house → indicates a partner who will be romantic and very self-expressive. marriage will be full of fun and doing childlike creative activities together. can benefit from being very social while having fun experiences.

♍︎ virgo → partner is hard-working, dutiful, humble and likely to have things figured out before coming to you. most likely to know what they want in life and approach it appropriately.

in 6th house → indicates a partner whose love language is acts of service and who wants to help you. marriage will be built on an analytical nature and doing everyday mundane tasks together. can benefit from going out more, as you’re more likely to meet your spouse from doing everyday tasks.

♎︎ libra → partner is civil, relatable, rational and likely to romanticize their relationship with you from the start. most likely to have been in lots of long-term relationships.

in 7th house → indicates a partner who will likely approach you first. marriage will be harmonious and balanced. might have a few long-term relationships before you meet the one. spouse could have a position of authority in their career.

♏︎ scorpio → partner is deep, private, strategic and likely to obsess about their relationship with you and be calculating in their interactions with you. most likely to seek a life partner who shares the same values and someone who you can grow with.

in 8th house → indicates a partner who will have a strong desire for deep and meaningful connections. marriage will be very intimate and the couple will likely to have merged spiritually. can benefit from going on spiritual retreats/religious gatherings/group events with like-minded individuals.

♐︎ sagittarius → partner is free-spirited, optimistic, and open to new experiences and opportunities that bring change. most likely to seek a relationship that expands your worldview and perspectives on different things.

in 9th house → indicates a partner who comes from a different country/background than you. marriage will be full of trying new experiences and having a bunch of fun together. can benefit from long distance travel, as you’re more likely to meet your spouse in a place far from you. also could benefit from higher education, as you could meet your spouse while attending university or gaining higher knowledge.

♑︎ capricorn → partner is mature, serious, enterprising and likely to approach you after your saturn return or after you’ve been married more than once. they take the relationship seriously and know what commitment they are making when they sign up; they’re responsible for their obligations in love and you can rely on them. most likely to seek a relationship with someone who has a position of authority or older than you.

in 10th house → indicates a partner who is of a similar career path as you or a bit older age wise. marriage will be full of commitment and following through on things together. can benefit from going networking with colleagues, as you’re more likely to meet your spouse while working.

♒︎ aquarius → partner is unique, eccentric, free-thinking and likely to challenge societal norms while still making you feel seen. most likely to seek relationships with someone who isn’t traditional/conventional and someone who could be your best friend as you share the world together.

in 11th house → indicates a partner who is of the same friend group as you or someone you meet through your friends or online dating. marriage will be unconventional and full of friendship; the two of you will be the best of friends. can benefit from going to social meet-ups like trivia night as you’re more likely to meet your spouse while socializing with different groups.

♓︎ pisces → partner is intuitive, dreamy, soft-hearted and likely to be creative and artistic when approaching you; they may appear as a hopeless romantic. most likely to seek relationships with someone who sweeps you off your feet and shows selfless devotion to you. may have their career in the arts or therapy.

in 12th house → indicates a partner who is self-sacrificing and who would work through any issue or problem that needs healing together. marriage will be very devotional and healing; you will go through lots of stages together. can benefit from healing inner wounds and mental health, as you’re more likely to meet your spouse while working on yourself.

part two → coming soon !

[billybob598]

Look What I've Got (Sophia Smith x Reader)

Heyyyyy. I did not want to put this gif in because it makes me sad, but I thought it made sense with the story. Also, this is a F1 reader, there was a little vote between f1 reader or swewnt reader and f1 won 8-6 so sorry to anyone wanting the swewnt reader but this is a democracy. I might do a similar one later with a swewnt reader for those people. Anyways, it's a shit title and a shit ending so have fun reading! Remember any feedback good or bad is welcomed! Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.8k (My longest fic ever wooooo!!!)

You were a proud girlfriend right now. Here you were watching your girlfriend of almost two years, Sophia Smith,  playing in her first-ever World Cup. While you missed the group stage games due to the F1 Grand Prix in Hungary and Belgium, you were finally able to come to Australia. Your girlfriend didn’t know that you were here yet nor that you were attending the USA’s Round of 16 match against Sweden. Throughout the warm-ups, Sophia seems laser-focused, so much so that she doesn’t see you sitting in the stands wearing her jersey. Of course, it is instead her best friend Naomi Girma who spots you first. When she points you out you don’t think you’ve ever seen your girlfriend's head turn so fast. Her eyes land on you and she sprints towards you with a blinding smile.

“Oh, my God! Baby, I’ve missed you so much!” Sophia squeals out as she hugs you tightly. 

You chuckle, “I’ve missed you too, love.” When you pull away from the hug, Sophia immediately connects your lips. You reach back and slip your arms around her neck, trying to deepen the kiss. Gagging sounds come from beside you. Sophia groans and tries to chase your lips when you take your lips off of hers, suddenly aware of all the cameras, family members, and teammates surrounding you. You give her a weak smile and slightly push her back to the field. 

“Nooo, I wanna stay with you,” she pouts. You find her pouting adorable, but as much as you want her to stay with you, you know that she has to go continue to warm up. 

“Hi Y/N! I’m your favourite player right?” Naomi yells from across the field.

You wink at her with a cheeky smile, “Oh, of course. Girma on top baby.” Sophia gives her best friend a harsh glare before leaning in to give you one last hug.

“I’m your favourite though, right baby?” She asks quietly. You give her a subtle kiss on her ear while mumbling an “Always” to her. 

As the game gets underway, you watch nervously at every movement the US makes. Each time Musovic makes a fantastic save you can’t help the little groan of frustration that leaves your mouth. You can tell Sophia is starting to get frustrated with herself, whenever she feels she misses an opportunity she puts her head in her hands. The skin around your nails has been chewn. When extra time ends still in a 0-0 draw, your nerves increase tenfold. As Andi steps up to take the first penalty kick, Mollie, Sophia’s mom, reaches down and grabs your hand, squeezing tightly. When Sophia steps up to take a potentially game-winning penalty, you and her mom hold your breath. You can only watch in despair as her kick goes over the bar, her hands going straight to her head as the reality that she missed sinks in.

When the VAR call comes through and Lina Hurtig’s penalty is called good, your entire body deflates. The entirety of the US team breaks down, including your girlfriend. All you want to do is hold her and comfort her when you see her crying. It’s not her fault, you know that, but she’s already got it in her head that she’s to blame for everything. After a couple of minutes of tears and hugs among the team, the players start to make their way to their families and friends. You let Sophia sob into her parents' shoulders for a while. Finally, she pulls away and looks at you. You try to give her a smile and reach for her. She looks away and slowly starts to back away from you. The confusion you feel is represented on your face. 

“I’m sorry Y/N I just need some space right now,” she softly speaks. You nod, albeit confused but trying your best to be understanding.  After a long time in the locker room and taking their showers, the players start to emerge. Sophia shows up, her eyes bloodshot and puffy. She heads straight for her family once again. You hang back unsure of what she wants you to do. Her family leaves the two of you alone when her eyes meet yours. Opening your mouth to say something, you are caught off guard when she speaks first.

“Just don’t, okay?” Once again confusion writes itself all over you.

“Don’t what?” You ask.

“Don’t say that I did such a good job, that it was just unlucky I missed and that I’m still young, or some shit like that,” she says, a bit of anger seeping into her voice. You nod slowly, carefully choosing your next words.

“Okay, I won’t say that. I do think you did a good job, though. But, if you don’t think you did then whatever. All I know is that you made me crazy proud,” you state, trying to cheer her up. You don’t know what happened, but it seemed that sentence had set off Sophia. 

“Well I don’t care if you're proud of me, that doesn’t change the fact that we lost and it was all my fault! If you think that it wasn’t my fault, you’re astronomically wrong,” her voice rising with each word said, “I don’t care if you're proud of me. I don’t even know why you’re here, I don’t want you to be.” Her words sting. You take a step back, trying not to show just how hurt you are. 

“Do you really mean that?” You ask quietly.

“Yes. Yes, I do,” Sophia says harshly. Of course, she didn’t mean it. She has no idea why she’s saying these things right now, her heart cracking at how dejected you look. 

“Oh, okay. That’s fine, I think I’m gonna head back to my hotel I guess,” you whisper, looking down at the ground to ensure that she doesn’t see the tears pooling in your eyes. Quickly, you turn around and make your way to the parking lot. Your eyes stinging and your vision blurring, but you’ll be damned if Sophia gets to see you cry. The second you disappear out of her sight, Sophia feels terrible. Why on Earth would she say that? “I don’t care if you're proud of me,” who the fuck even says that? You flew halfway across the world to spend some time with her during your summer break which was only a few weeks, and this is how she treated you? For the entire bus ride back to the hotel, everyone is silent. Some people are crying, but Sophia is kicking herself over how she behaved towards you. She sends you a couple of texts, which she can see you read but don’t respond to. Then, when the team gets back to the hotel, she tries to call you a few times. Each attempt just gets your voicemail. Naomi, who was aware of the situation, just told her friend to rest and try again tomorrow. Sophia relents and comes to the conclusion that you won’t respond tonight and that she just needs to let you sleep and calm down a bit. 

The next day, as soon as she wakes up Sophia tries to get a hold of you. She calls you again and again. While eating breakfast she’s on her phone, praying that you’ll reply to one of the many texts she’s sent you. Her friends are slightly concerned at how dejected the forward looks after each passing minute with no word from you. Finally, Ashley Sanchez suggests that Sophia goes to your hotel to try and iron things out. Their flight wasn’t until the next day so she had the time. After thinking about the idea for a bit, Sophia decides to just go for it. She does know where you are staying and figures it’s only a fifteen-minute walk over. Sophia plays with her rings the entire time, her nerves only increasing as she gets closer to the hotel. Finding your room easily, she stands outside of it for a few minutes, trying to plan out exactly what she’ll say. Eventually, she knocks and holds her breath. When you open the door, Sophia’s heart breaks at the sight. Your eyes were red and you looked tired. You had heavy bags under your eyes and your hair looks dishevelled. You were definitely caught off guard by Sophia just showing up at your door. 

“Hey,” Sophia speaks softly.

“Hey, what do you want?” Your words have a slight bite to them. Sophia winces at your tone, but she knows it’s well deserved. 

“Um, I just wanted to apologize, you know, for last night,” she says avoiding eye contact with you. You sigh heavily.

“Yeah, okay,” your girlfriend looks up at you confused by your words.

“Okay?” 

“Okay. What you said was totally out of line and right now I don’t particularly feel like talking to you,” your voice is flat and she can sense a hint of anger in it. 

“Oh…” Sophia trails off, now feeling stupid for coming over. Obviously you wouldn’t want to talk to her. “Right, sorry. But can’t we just try and talk about it?”

“What’s there to talk about? I understand you were sad and disappointed in yourself, Soph, but you don’t get to just lash out at someone who didn’t actually need to be there. I chose to be there, for you, and then you say shit like, ‘I don’t want you to be here’ That’s not fair to me and you know it,” you breathe out, happy to finally get that off your chest. 

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever I have to do to show you that I’m sorry. Please just forgive me and I’ll make it up to you, please Y/N,” she begs, her eyes full of tears at this point. Now it’s your turn to avoid eye contact, looking anywhere but her eyes. You hate seeing her cry, more than anything. While your heart aches to just forgive her, you know that you can’t just let it go that easily. She’s said sorry, but that alone is not enough. 

“Soph, I’m sorry. I think I need some space.”

“What? No, no, no, please Y/N. I’ll do anything,” she continues to plead with you. 

“I’m not breaking up with you, okay? Don’t worry. I just need some time. What you said wasn’t cool and I just want to calm down a bit,” you say trying to keep the emotions out of your voice. You feel terrible at how heartbroken Sophia looks. “Sophia?”

“Yeah, yeah. Um, that’s okay. As long as you're not breaking up with me,” she mumbles, wiping at the tears running down her cheeks.

“No, God no. It’s just a break,” you say quickly, wanting to make sure she understood. She smiles slightly at how panicked you looked. With that, she moves to walk away, but not before giving you a hug and a kiss on your cheek. You blush slightly, watching sadly as she walks away. 

For the next few weeks, you and Sophia did not talk. You went back to your apartment in Monaco and continued to train and prepare for the Dutch Grand Prix. Sophia went back to Portland and after taking a week off recovering from the World Cup, rejoined training with the Thorns. Everyone could see how distracted Sophia looked at training and outside of it. They knew that you guys were on a break and that you were not talking to each other. While she was still playing well, her friends noticed that she was a lot quieter and that she didn’t seem to want to spend too much time with other people more than she had to. Your own team could also see how sad and distant you looked. So, a few days before you were due to fly to the Netherlands, your teammate and friend, Lando Norris, suggested you ask her if she wanted to come to the race.

A/N: I know that the race weekend is scheduled from the 25-27th and that Portland has a game on the 27th, but let’s just pretend that there is no game lol.

Agreeing with the idea, you send Sophia a text asking if she wanted to fly out to the Netherlands and watch the race. Sophia, of course, says yes and immediately starts to pack her bags. You send her the tickets for the weekend and the plane. 

As Sophia walks into the paddock, she’s nervous but excited. There was someone from the McLaren team showing her to the garage, and while she had come to a few Grand Prix’s before the car had been terrible then. Since the last time she came, the team had seen a ginormous amount of improvement. Now, you were competing for podiums and top 5 finishes instead of trying to not finish in the bottom 5. She was shown to your driver room and told that you were in a meeting, but you’d be done soon. After waiting for about ten minutes the door opens and you walk in, with your race suit hanging around your waist and the black fireproofs leaving little to the imagination. You stop your movements when you see Sophia sitting there.

“Hey, thanks for coming I know it was pretty last second,” you say sincerely.

“Yeah, it’s no problem. Thanks for inviting me,” she responds. She notices you playing with your hands nervously. Deciding that you need to stop, she stands up and reaches out, grabbing your hands and encouraging you to play with the rings on her hands instead. You smile softly, finding it sweet that she always remembers you like to play with her rings. For a few moments, there was silence. Then you break it with your words,

“How have you been?” Sophia sighs, thinking back to the last couple of weeks.

“I’ve been…okay,” you give her a look, “What?”

“The bags under your eyes say differently.” The US player looks down, embarrassed. 

“Okay, so maybe I haven’t been that great.”

“Mhm, well I guarantee you’ve been better than I have,” you murmur. Sophia gives you a questioning look. “I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t focus, I did terrible in the simulator training. I think some space was good for us, but now I think I’m feeling better.” She smiles at you, raising her eyebrows, encouraging you to continue “Do you wanna get back together?” Sophia smirks,

“I thought we didn’t break up? We were just on a break,” she challenges. Your eyes widen at your mistake,

“Err, well, shit.” She laughs at the expression on your face. “Well, whatever we were on, do you want to stop it now?”

“Yes please,” she requests. You chuckle lightly, before wrapping your arms around her neck. She smirks and rests her hands on your hips then leans in slowly. Your lips meet and start to move against each other. One of her hands moves across your abdomen, your abs tensing slightly under your fireproofs. She runs her tongue across your lips asking for access which you grant. Your tongues fight for dominance as she pushes you against the wall, deepening the kiss. After a couple more seconds, you pull away from each other.

“So, no more break right?” You ask teasingly. She fake ponders the question until you hit her shoulder lightly. She laughs,

“Yeah, yeah. No more break, babe” You grin and connect your lips once again.

For the rest of the weekend, Sophia is by your side. She loves hanging out with the mechanics and engineers. She also really likes Lando, who’s in a good mood for most of the weekend because the car is performing really well. Your girlfriend watches from the garage in excitement as you get your first-ever podium in F1 at Zandvoort. The Internet goes mad when you point and blow her a kiss from the podium, something which she returns. The team starts the post-race celebrations inside the garage while you are finishing up some media and debriefs. When you come running in everybody cheers and there are a lot of hugs and high-fives given out. You go straight to Sophia, holding your 2nd place trophy proudly.

“Babe! Babe! Look what I’ve got! It’s so shiny!” You shout happily. She laughs at the giddy expression on your face.

“Yeah I see it, love. It’s pretty cool,” she says while pulling you into a tight hug, “I’m so proud of you.” The smile that you give her melts her heart. For the rest of the night, you two stay tight together and drink the rest of the champagne in the bottle given to the podium finishers. A couple of weeks ago you thought your relationship was over, but now here you are with your girlfriend proudly beside you for one of your lifelong dreams. It doesn’t get much better than that.