#you run into some real assholes and bad dudes in that game but the one thing that almost made me drop all my morals was fuckin fantasy

[pcktknife]

i play a relatively good kind and forgiving person in bg3 but the murderous rage that possessed me when no one clapped for my comedy routine. baldurs gate almost had another serial killing on its hands

[wolfangst]

The Postal dude hates everyone equally!

Hello, all Postal fans, I'm with you! I love the "scissor running studio", I've played through all of their games, some several times. I attend almost all of Vince Desi's interviews and support his work, like many of you.

I wanted to write this post because I have been in the Postal community for quite a long time and have seen a lot of people, a lot of conflicts, one of which appeared literally "recently". Dude hates transgender people? The situation is funny - some person made a post in the style: “Your favorite character *insert sentence*”, where the Postal Dude was added with the inscription: “The Postal Dude is transphobic” - the developers, on behalf of the Twitter account, said that this was not:

Later, the next day, the developers released a post in which the Dude was introduced to us as a misanthrope - a person who hates everyone equally. Which was pretty obvious even without this, because people who play the Postal series of games could repeatedly hear this line from him: “I hate everyone equally” or something like that - this was obvious back in 2003.

So what could such an act on the part of the developers mean, what did they want to say by first “supporting” transgender people with their words, and then releasing this post as if they had renounced their words? This means that he hates everyone: whites, blacks, Jews, gays, lesbians, transgender people and other completely ordinary people who live their lives. Not because he hates anyone in particular, but because he hates all humanity - read the meaning of misanthropy on the Internet.

The dude is an asshole and you're ready for this conversation!

Please remember that the Postal Dude is a bad person. He is a terrorist who kills innocent people - going back to the first Postal, the original, he wanted to kill even children and he was not ashamed. He is not the kind of person who will support someone simply because of their oppression in society - he is deeply indifferent to the problems of modern society, such as: the oppression of black people, sexism towards women, unfair mistreatment towards LGBTQ+ people, etc.

He hates everyone, regardless of lifestyle, sexual orientation or anything else - deal with it, he is not a good guy, but a sick person with a thirst for blood. Postal is the wrong game, Dude is the wrong character - and that's the whole point of the franchise we love so much. The game makes fun of a lot of things, it was made based on a real-life case of terrorism by a postal worker and the proposed idea of ​​creating a "just a cruel person who kills for no reason" appealed to Vince Desi - that's why we have a person as cruel and controversial as the Dude in game. Let's remember that in addition to the fact that the Dude has repeatedly expressed in his remarks that it is best to kill women and national minorities first, he also kills men, women, kids and animals without a twinge of conscience - and can even kick his beloved dog. We are talking about a character about whom the developers themselves speak as someone who is a terrible person at his core - so why do many of us try to humanize him, to find something good in him, some advantages or support for others?

Have you forgotten that in the Postal 2 before the update with multiplayer, there was a mini-game called: “F*ag Hunter”, the essence of which was that the Dude needed to kill 20 LGBTQ+ Representatives, and if he killed a heterosexual NPC, then he was forced go through again?

We are all people, we are all different. There are many different people within our community: gays, lesbians, transgender people, people of different nationalities and views on life - and this is wonderful. It’s wonderful that we are all so different and live in a world where we can be ourselves. But please remember that the Dude would hate us no matter who we are, simply because we are part of a society he despises - and you have to live with that. Yes, this is bad, it’s very offensive, but you are part of a game community where the main character is a terrorist who uses hard drugs and dismembers kittens.

If you want to feel support and love in your direction, then Paradise is definitely not for you. And don't try to argue with it - the Dude can't be fixed. Thank you for your attention, I love and respect everyone - after all, I’m not the Dude from Postal!

I also want to add that you can have any headcanons, ship the Dude with your characters or create your own Dudes - this is very cool. This post was written as an appeal to people who forget about which game community they are in - there was a lot of negativity on Twitter under sub-posts from the developers simply because such a misunderstanding arose, which seemed to me simply stupid and to some extent funny. This is the internet guys, do what you want, just please don't romanticize or think the things The Dude does are normal or laudable

[in-a-bucket]

Whit character analysis because this dude makes my brain go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Uh spoilers for all of drdt i guess? Idk better safe then sorry

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Ok, so it probably wouldn’t take much scrolling through my tumblr blog to figure out who my favorite despair time character is, can you blame me tho? I’ve always had a lot of thoughts about Whit floating around in my brain ever since I’ve gotten into drdt, but the amount of thoughts has exponentially increased since ch 2 part 1 finished a few days ago. I think we can all agree there’s something odd about Whit, The first time I really noticed it was right after Min’s execution. It was super gresome, probably one of the hardest to watch I’ve ever seen both in canon dr and fangans. This execution had Veronika of all people shook to their core, but Whit...

Uh, you are aware she literally got torn apart by wolves, right Whit? Hu even kinda calls him out on his comment immediately after this. Most people when they see a person die in front of them, they usually react with horror, fear, anger, sadness, you get the gist, but here Whit seems, mildly annoyed? I don’t really think that’s the best way to describe his reaction but either way, it’s too underwhelming for watching someone die right in front of you, especially in such a horrible way as Min’s execution was.

Ok then, does this mean Whit is some unfeeling asshole or something, well no, because earlier in this same trial he says this,

I mean this whole entire section shows that Whit isn’t some heartless monster, if he was just doing this for the sake of making sure they didn’t vote for the wrong person he didn’t have to add in stuff like this.

Ok so what’s his deal then, well remember how I said although chapter one got the brainworms started, but chapter 2 increased them exponentially. Well in chapter 2 it starts to become a lot more prevalent how odd Whit acts when it comes to death and the killing game as a whole.

He does this...

Making a joke about Min’s horrific death, having that kind of reaction to seeing Arei’s dead body, it’s not normal, at all if we take into consideration everything we’ve discussed so far, it just doesn’t make sense, especially cause he has moments like this,

Like the way I see this, he just seems to be really understanding of other people, and their feelings and circumstances, so it just seems super odd that he doesn’t really take death or the killing game itself for the matter all that seriously.

So basically, Whit’s a walking contradiction, why exactly is he like this? Well I believe it has to do with his secret.

His secret is worded exactly like this: “Your mother is dead, you always omit that truth”

I always found the way his secret was worded to be interesting, it’s extremely vague. Arturo’s secret also involves a dead family member, but that one specifies that the cause of death was suicide and that Arturo himself was involved somehow, now it’s highly likely this was worded in a way to make Arturo look as bad as possible, so what does this have to do with Whit’s secret? Well it’s a bit odd, his secret doesn’t make any mention of how or when his mom died, and the only way Whit is brought up is that he hides that truth, but it doesn’t imply that he was responsible in any way. It’s interesting that some secrets are more vague than others.

There’s also some other stuff you could analyze from it. Take the first part of Charles’s secret, “your older brother died” vs. “your mother is dead”, when you look at those two statements, don’t they mean the same thing? Why word them differently if they basically mean they same thing. Well Charles’s is worded in the past tense whereas Whit’s is worded in the present tense, why is that? Although this is more my personal opinion, Whit’s feels more like and intense statement, a fact that can not be ignored, this is what’s real here and now, which ties in to the latter part of Whit’s secret. He omits the truth, he denies it, but he can’t run away from it now that’s there written on paper, there for everyone to see.

So what does this all have to do with Whit’s contradictory behavior. Well I think it’s highly likely that Whit witnessed his mom’s death, whether it was an accident, a suicide, a murder or something else, he saw it all and, to put it bluntly, it broke him. He simply couldn’t handle the idea that his mom, someone he clearly loved a lot and cared about, as evidenced by what he said in chapter 1 with Teruko and Charles, was suddenly not there anymore. This was probably the absolute worse case scenario in Whit’s mind, and what do you do with a bad situation, you make it better of course! And that’s exactly what Whit did, even though his mom was dead he convinced himself that everything was completely fine in order to cope. If he remembers all of the good things about her, then she’s basically still here, and that means everything is fine, right? 

Now I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and guess that Whit’s mom probably died around time Whit was in middle school (so like 13 or 14 yrs old), I don’t really think she died when he was like elementary school age, and based on the way Whit acts in the prologue it wasn’t like super recent either. Considering he is able to identify his own secret during the ch 2 trial, his mom didn’t die with in the years that got erased from the students. Now middle school up till freshman year of college is plenty of time to develop a terrible coping mechanism, especially because it seems to be implied that was a pretty lonely guy, his dad worked overseas a lot and according to his character page, he doesn’t have any luck with love either, it’s possible he did have friends growing up but maybe his relationship with them fell apart after his mom died. Either way, it’s inevitable something like that would fester without a good support system.

Now several years later, Whit is thrust into this killing game and he is faced with people dying in front of him again, so he does what he knows best, pretends that everything is completely fine and that they’re all gonna get out of this somehow. so he tries to focus on the positives and tries to make a generally more positive atmosphere by cracking jokes every chance he gets, since dealing with the positives is way easier than dealing with the negatives. Thus stuff like this happens,

No it’s not alright Whit there is a dead body in front of you.

His hidden quote fits with this idea too, “We tend to idolize the dead”. It’s an accurate statement in real life, when people die we try to remember the good things about them from when they were alive. This is what Whit does, just to an unhealthy extreme.

There’s even this line from the FTEs which technically aren’t canon, but it still gives you a pretty good idea of Whit’s thinking process

Ya know shove all of your negative emotions down and away and only focus on the positive ones, this will totally not backfire in any way.

It also makes sense why he has the talent he has, to enjoy making other people happy with fulfilling relationships as a way to distract himself from his own pain.

So, where exactly does Whit go from here as a character? Well first of all I’m like 99% sure he’ll survive chapter 2, there’s evidence that shows he’s unlikely to be the killer and from a writing standpoint, if Whit were to be killed off now, then the only purposes he would’ve served in the story was comic relief and to give Charles some character development, so basically it’d be a waste to kill him off in chapter 2. I will say this though, if both Charles and Whit are still alive by chapter 6 that is a huge red flag and that probably means Whit’s the MM, I think the most likely out come is one or the other dies. I used to be super confident on Charles living and Whit dying but honestly, Charles is developing faster than I thought he would, so it could go either way. But I get the feeling the the peak of their arc will happen in chapter 4 (maybe 3, but I feel more confident about 4).

Under the assumption I made previously, chapter 3 happens as normal (whatever that is lol), but once ch 3 ends and ch 4 starts a certain someone has noticed that Whit is the only person who has yet to crack in any way, shape or form. So motive or no, Veronika starts to craft a plan, in order to make this killing game as fun as possible and to finally break her stubborn classmate. I could see this going one of two ways. Either Veronika kills Charles and pins the crime on Whit or she creates an elaborate trap for Whit to accidentally set off killing her or one of the other students. Personally I prefer option (and not just because Whit get’s to live), but because it allows for his character development to be explored in later chapters. Basically once the body is discovered, you can tell Whit is barely holding it together and then like midway through the trial he finally starts to crack. Then in like the aftermath of the trial it asl comes crashing down for him, everything that he forced himself to believe to make life easier he can no longer believe and its just ajkldlkjdljdalkfhlkfahafkkdhfsklfslkhfsakhj.

Anyway I’m probably gonna post this, go to bed, and wake up tomorrow and realize there’s more I want to add but that’s life I guess. I’ll probably end up making more whit posts anyways once the people I talk to discord start get my brain going.

This probably sucks but idc I have so much Whit brainrot you people have no idea.

[davekat-sucks]

My friend once told me Hussie seems like the type of guy who would build a sandcastle and if someone complimented it, he would kick it down and stomp on it and say "DO YOU LIKE IT NOW??"

Hussie is going through a mid life crisis, look how he dresses, he's lost his mind. I kinda feel bad for him. What's his deal anymore? What's even going on with What Pumpkin? Why is it so hard to get straight answers about hiveswap? Why does he always produce visual novels? I don't think anyone knows whats even going on neither Hussie himself. Everything is so all over the place and i have to ask again, why? How does it get this bad?

Some theorized it went bad after his father died during the comic's run. He and his father were close. After his death, he likely fell into depression, but couldn't say anything about it to the growing fandom to have time for himself. Maybe he did feel anxious or uneasy at the large Homestuck fandom. He's not quite sociable and puts up the asshole persona as a front. It's the first time one of his works gained traction and is surprised by the large amount of people joining in. He was not sure how to handle it. He was also not a careful planner about how to handle game development. Game development is hard and it was a first for him and WhatPumpkin. Nobody knew how to approach it. Was it because he was surrounded by people like Shelby and others from WhatPumpkin? They were currently his only friends and would get what they wanted out by being his close friend. Perhaps it was burnout that he extended it for this long. Most of Homestuck's ideas and concepts that were shown in the comic were just made up on the fly. He pushed himself into a corner of this extreme large worldbuilding that he didn't want to go further into detail. Dude is a guy who writes cool stuff just cause he thought it would be cool. Even now, he's still tired and has declared to be out from future Homestuck projects AND the Hiveswap development. Same Hiveswap that he started for 11-12 years ago that gained $2 million. How is at that point it's not a scam if he's not the lead anymore? He likely wants to throw WhatPumpkin and anybody who joins for stuff like Homestuck Beyond Canon, under the bus, so he doesn't have to take responsibility anymore. It could be his slight ego too that was his downfall as well. People had been throwing money at this feet and he was too happy that he was getting some fame. The guy is likely living a comfortable life because even if he is not part of future HS works, he still owns the IP and gets money from the books that were still published under Viz Media and Hiveswap game sales. He's MARRIED too. He could kick back and relax now, leaving his mess behind. Whatever the reason may be, we'll never know unless Andrew Hussie speaks up for real. He'll likely never will at this point and will take that to his grave as he lives a life away from what had pushed his current lifestyle. It may as well be both a blessing and curse for him.

[havendance]

Scattered Batman: War Games thoughts

It honestly wasn't as bad as I was afraid it was going to be. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of parts that were bad, but it also moved at a quick pace and I have definitely read comics that were way more of a chore to get through

Still way too much torture though. I purposefully skipped all the scenes where Steph got tortured but other people also got tortured in this and why is there just so much?

I do like that Bruce actually asked for help/called in the cavalry at the begining of the event rather than running around making things worse a bunch of times. Of course the only help he called in was Batgirl and Nightwing, but baby steps!

I actually enjoyed most of the entire first act of war games. It was focused mainly on chaos exploding on everyone being on the ropes and doing damage control. It was quick moving and I like seeing the bats on the ropes. Plus, there was the

I did like both Cass and Tim's storylines throughout.

And then of course, act II onwards just went downhill. Look, I wish Zeis had succeeded in killing Black Mask when he was disguised as Oprheus because he just sucks.

Anyway, I already talked about the torture stuff :/

The thing is, I think because I skipped the bad parts and I knew both that Steph was going to die and that she would eventually come back going into this arc, her death actually made me less made than say, Sarah Essen's death in No Man's Land which is in some ways much less egregious (I'm still annoyed about that). If I HAD been a comics reader in 2004 and not a possibly-illiterate child whose mom wouldn't let them read comics at that age anyway, I probably would've been pissed! But context is everything.

But to backtrack a little, Bruce was like "I was never going to implement the war games plan" but he also had Orpheus going undercover to get control of the hill? It certainly looks like you're laying the groundwork my dude. I mean, he still could have been planning to not go all the way and made the contingency plan in question recently, but still. Out of universe, it's clearly laying groundwork for the War Games event.

Hmm, what else did I want to bring up. Oh yeah. Bruce, trying to take control over the entire GCPD is definetly a major overstep. You deserve to be wanted by them after that. Seriously dude, you didn't even have control over the GCPD during No Man's Land where there was no goverment. Your whole stchick involves acting outside of the law. You can't just do that dude.

Also, him hijacking Oracle's systems was also an asshole move. I think it is interesting the way that they had the interection of the urban legend batman mythos with the event. He's out during the day, being captured on camera for the first time in ages and it's in the middle of a major disaster. Terrible PR all around. The batman is real and this is his fault. I do think that's a fun move.

I am here for Barbara beefing with Batman, he was a dick to you during the event! But also the whole tower blowing up thing at the end was clearly because it was required by editorial. You're telling me you don't have knockout gas or batgrade tasers in there? Your only option was to blow up your home base?

Like, he also was a major presence during No Man's Land, but that was No Man's Land.

Anyway, this was clearly an event that was designed to make some major changes to the status quo. I will probably have more opinions on these changes as I read more comics, but for some initial thoughts:

Batman & co wanted by the GCPD. I'm a big fan of this one. Make him have to face greater odds with fewer resources than he's used to!

Stephanie dead. Lame :/

The Birds of Prey no longer based in Gotham. I am tentatively optimistic about this. I did like the era of Oracle being a key player in Gotham, but her being an idependent force not tied to them is defintely something she deserves! Of course, if this just results in her being exiled to Birds of Prey rather than playing a major role in the rest of the universe that'd be disappointing.

(Of course I also primarily only read Bat books, so uh, I don't think I'd see this either way.)

Tim and Cass in their Blüdhaven era: why not? I've heard good things about this.

Black Mask being a key play: grump grump grump I don't like him.

[starlight-write]

🔥🧠Welcome to Braindump Central™🧠🔥

❤️ Welcome to my own personal Hell! ❤️ Here is where I store all my weird thoughts and writing projects that would have my neurodivergent ass shunned by my friends and family if revealed to the real world.

Originally, this blog was meant solely for writing tk fics (tw btw!). And while that is still our primary focus here, you can also find some regular-ass fanfics on my AO3 account, (which will be revealed soon enough) as well as sleep deprived ramblings, a shit ton of reblogs, and all sorts of other nonsensical shit.

The current annual hyperfixation that haunts my every waking moment is Hazbin Hotel, if that wasn't already obvious enough. So most of what I write will revolve around that.

Other fandoms I will write for are My Hero Academia, The Amazing Digital Circus, and The Owl House. (I live under a rock and don't know much else.)

Requests are Open and here are The Rules™!!!!

1.) Story Prompts, Character Headcannons, Character Pairings and similar ideas are all free game. (Also if you just want to talk, please I'm so lonely.)

1.5.) Requests aren't limited to fandom or tk fics! I love a good challenge so if you got a good prompt you wanna hit me with, I'm all ears!

2.) Obviously, I reserve the right to deny any requests if I can't vibe with it but don't think that means I appreciate your inputs any less!

3.) I will not write anything NSFW. (Dude, there are children here!)

4.) Requests will NOT be answered in a timely manner as I have the time management skills of a narcoleptic seahorse and run off of hyperfixation and spite alone.

5.) I'm not comfortable writing anyone's OCs for fandom fics, sorry.

6.) Keep it silly. Keep it fun. Don't be an asshole.

About the Author: (over sharing)

Here's some personal details about me that I feel like have a significant affect on my perception of reality and therefore my writing as a whole.

First things first, my irl pronouns are she/her. But let's be real, we're on Tumblr so call me whatever you want. Get creative with it.

I'm a 21y/o software engineering student diagnosed ADHD. (I keep praying to God but he's not answering) But y'know, that double homicide clearly wasn't enough and I got nerfed with a chaotic and relatively unstable living situation so if I go ghost for a hot minute that's probably why.

I identify myself as a sapphic-oriented AroAce abomination who ironically, is in a happy relationship with a man... (It was an accident I swear!) I'm just as confused as you are don't worry. So needless to say the pairings I write are going to be affected by that aroace lens but hey, if you're like me and enjoy exploring platonic dynamics a lot more then you've come to the right place!

Your girl also has a condition known as Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MaDD), as if my pea-brain wasn't screwed enough already. Pretty self explanatory, basically means I have this dumbass condition where I have to disassociate into my fantasy worlds for hours and hours on end instead of actually contributing to society. Fun, right? I mention this not only to spread a little awareness but also to *cite my sources* in a way. Pretty sure it's forced me to become a better writer in a way, too. So it's not all bad ig.

If you want any more personal information out of me you either gotta hunt down my FBI agent or fill out my friendship criteria form on Github.

Now scroll and enjoy yourself.

Also if I get one more dm blasting me for the badges I probably won't do anything but IT WAS FOR THE BIT!!!!

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Fun and Modded Games with 035, Or... Did You Just Caboose Me? So Wrong, Dude.

My first test with 035 aka Dyo. Just little ol me, the Possesive Mask, and a modded to hell copy of a quasipopular 4 v everyone zombie shooter. What can go wrong? Everything.

Well, it's time to meet the Possesive Mask, for a few "friendly" games. 035 walks in, and sees me setting up my gaming rig. If he could raise an eyebrow, he would have.

"What's going on? I was told I'd be testing. Didn't expect to test with 049's girl."

"Yeah... it's not really an official official test. And I thought since the Doctor is important to me, thought we should actually meet on less formal terms." I smile, extend a hand. "I'm Rabbit, nice to finally meet you, Dyo. Wanna blow up some boomers?"

"Boomers?"

"Big, nasty explody undead bastards. It'll be fun, I promise. And, since we're not being overly monitored, feel free to swear at the lumbering sacks of boom and acid."

I fire up the game, hand him an extra controller. And... break out laughing. My dumb ass forgot to switch off my mods. So, the shamblers are all Bernie Sanders, the spitters are dilophasaurs, the boomers are all the heavy from Team Fortress 2, and the witches... are the most demented version of Princess Peach ever seen. Hell, I still left my character mods on, meaning I'm stuck as a neon green Amongus and Dyo is... Caboose from Red vs Blue. Our weapons are modded, Dyo running with the BFG 1000 from Doom, I picked dual plasma cutters. Our online teammates are modded up too, 'Sarcasm&4Gauges' is ready to wreck shit as Lord Heisenberg from RE Village, and our last teammate is fucking Sailor Moon. Yes, Usagi is in the house. We get to it. After an initial learning curve, Dyo is on it. He took out Peach one shot. Massive legend. But... not without cost. My Amongus died, after Sailor Moon shot me in the back. Twice.

"Ayo, Sailor Moon? You Caboosed my ass. So wrong, my dude. Don't hate on your squaddie for being better as a rook than you, not our fault you suck with aiming."

"Kiss my disco medallion. Not my fault YOU were in my way."

Dyo pipes up. "Dr. Bright? Don't you have more rules to break before they're written? Teamkilling is almost as low as teabagging. Get your worthless ass back to Crystal Tokyo, heard Queen Beryl is on her bullshit again." Sarcasm&4Gauges loses it on the in-game chat.

"Damn, that was both thematic and cold as fuck, dawg. I can see why 049 chills with you. Savage."

"We do work well together, kind of a Beauty and the Beast deal. Of course, I'm the Beauty."

"Not in this chat, Dyo. Rabbit be fiiiiiine."

"And the Killer Rabbit is good with her honey. Back off her, Jack. Go perv on Rights again."

"Damn, Cleffy be dropping bodies without a shot. Thanks, Uncle Alto. Nice spot job on the herd of Bernies. Not into that kind of getting ate out."

We're back on our zombie slaying grind when... a wild tank appears, modded into a mini 682. Clef dies laughing on mic.

"Maybe I need to chill with the mods, the prospect of soloing a mini 682 brought out Clef's Scooby-Doo villain for real. Oh shit... Caboose dropped the BFG, Clef grab that big fucking gun and get nutty with it."

"Naw, Rabbit. I'm gonna Thor this punk ass. Time to drop the hammer." Clef runs up, the wind up is good... but mini 682 tail-yeets his ass into a wall. Dyo nods at me, and I drop a nice little surprise... a Juggernaught from COD. I toggle on theme music, Dyo pumps his BFG, and we see who kills the Unkillable Lizard first. Just as Dyo lobs the first volley, an Enderman pops up behind him, ready to drag him off. I shoot him with my cutters, Ender fall down, go immobile. Bright is back up... throwing his fucking tiara at 682. Who just laughs in 'what part of hard-to-fucking-KILL do you not get, bitch?' He drops like a bad habit after getting stomped. After several rounds of fire, multiple revives, and several death threats against Dr. Bright for friendly fire, the big scaly butt-ugly undead asshole dies.

"I don't even want to play this game anymore."

"Fine by us, Jack. You suck."

"Yeah, well at least I'm not cuddling up to 049."

"You. Did. Not. Just. Besmerch. The. Doctor's. Rabbit. If I get out of Containment, I am going to curbstomp both you and that tacky as hells medallion into the next reality. And not even 343 will save you. Be ready."

"Dyo, chill. Let me handle him. I have a plan."

"Please tell me you're going to freeze his mouth shut."

"Of course not. Why debase high magic for such low intellect?" I give Dyo an evil grin, and mute my mic. "First, I've arranged a nice Tinder date for him, and he won't even have to leave site. I know a young lady who would love having him over for dinner. Then, after dinner... how about a nice 963 under 60 meters of ice, floating in deep space? Far, far away from our galaxy."

"Rabbit, you're cold-blooded, evil, vindictive... and too bad 049 met you first. I'm honestly impressed."

"I learned at the sandaled feet of THE masters of dirty tactics, 076-2 and Clef. Let's just say I'm rolling the Mastermind perks up in here 24/7. After all, you gotta bring your A game to even match Abel. And Clef? Dude literally wrote the book on reality warpers, and I paid attention. After all, it's hard to learn much from the dead, let alone as one of them." I sense my new gaming buddy is a bit nervous. "Tell you what, you play a few rounds of Modern Warfare with me, we'll call it a non-aggession pact. Hey, maybe we can stomp Bright on and offline, heh?"

"Non-aggression pact? Meaning?"

"You don't kill me or 049 attempting to bail, I look the other way as much as I can. Maybe accidentally drop a few helpful items."

"I'll think about it."

"The pact, or the game?"

"The pact. I honestly like playing with you, you're in it to win via chaos. Very entertaining."

"Thanks, Dyo. You're pretty good yourself." I turn my mic back on. "So, gents... who's up for COD?" Clef opts in, but Bright backs out.

"You bailing, Bright? Can't handle playing unmodded?" Clef teases him.

"More like I can't deal with Rabbit. She's brutal, more so than Mongolian death metal, and she scares me."

"Can I train, or can I train? Not my fault you got no game, zero drip, and lo! No maidens."

"Why are you guys so mean to me?"

"Uh... my dude. You. Have. An. Over. 800. Item. List. Of. Things. You. Specifically. Are. Forbidden. To. Do. Do you really need us to tell you that alone got you disinvited from ALL official functions not directly related to your job? Plus, you have all the culture of garden soil 073 danced on."

"Ouch. That wounds me, 035."

"I have not yet begun to wound you, you backshooting idiot. Now, get off our server." Sonic rings, then a message: Admin Clef has booted G04tedwth963 from the server. "Thank you, Doctor Clef. You get dibs on my first care package should I die before getting it."

"The other team better pray to 343 it's not a gunship."

[termagax]

♥️ 🧞 ⭐ ~ rebeccaselfships

♥️ What made each of you realize the other person was The One?

i think for fish it was kind of that he was like, their first real adult love. they were pretty young when they met and he was sweet and exciting and told them he loved them and i think that for them it was really easy to say okay, this is my life now, because like, they didnt really have. anything else going on. and so when the whole world exploded now all they have is this guy and even if he doesnt seem to want them around what the fuck else are they supposed to do, hes kind of the only like. anchor i guess holding them to any sort of normalcy or personhood and not just going and living at the bottom of the ocean forever and getting eaten by some sort of creature.

i think its kind of a similar thing for hog but less of like. a dependence. hes content with them because theyre persistent and things are comfortable and easy even if its not like, heaaaaalthy? and theyre fun and funny and kind of in the same way theyre like, the only person who really knows who he was before all this. so they both kind of have that shared sense of like. identity i guess? and they both kind of mutually go through this transformation from a "dead" old self to something new and kind of fucked up. and i think he would like that they arent even a little bit afraid of him or hesitant to say what they think or try to kill him with their bare hands.

like they do have things they genuinely like about each other and they have good chemistry but a lot of the sticking together comes from like. a mutual feeling of not really being a Real person? this is a lot of me extrapolating but the little bit of canon roadhog pov stuff we have he talks about "roadhog" and "mako" as two like. distinct entities and kind of has this thing about seeing himself as kind of the empty shell left behind when the other guy died. which. samesies. so i think sometimes they both kind of reach out looking for someone who knew the dead guy just kind of. to feel real.

🧞 If you could wish for anything for your F/O what would it be? What would they wish for you in turn?

an asthma inhaler for real dude. i hear the noises he makes in game my man is having a Bad Time what with all this running and shooting and whatnot. srsly im pretty pro-letting-medical-problems-remain-unfixed-even-in-scifi but if i could use magic robot technology to poof my asthma out of existience i would so like. someone give my man a scifi inhaler.

to be fair i think he would also try to poof some of deepseas health problems out of existience if he could. on account of being a fish man they have like an insane amount of dietary restrictions that keep them like. just constantly sick all the time. and a shmorgasboard of other symptoms disorder and radiation induced problems that they would probably be a lot less of a miserable asshole without.

⭐ Who's more likely to seek out attention from their partner?

answered earlier! its fish, severely.

[tears-of-boredom]

played the first two episodes of Tell me Why today. damn. still wanna know the context behind why they call her by her first name. and also i kept calling Tyler gay in my mind and i kept reprimanding myself for that because its not a good habit to call literally every dude gay. but also...was i wrong. see if you call every single dude "gay as fuck" you'll be right some of the times at least. world philosophy right there. i have no idea what "world philosophy" means. i just say shit and hope it sounds right most of the times. oh and also i feel bad cuz i dont remember alyson's friend's name, like i somehow mi.....its michael isnt it. yeah theyre name is michael. at least i hope so. anyways so their vibe is so me. like we are on the same wavelenght vibe-wise. except i dont got game like him. man has rizz not gonna lie. smooth mother fucker. i did blush at those dialogues. you know the ones if youve played ep2. my mans got rizz like no other. also he's hot. and has a septum piercing. and i did call him gay as well just out of habit. tbh i really missed the opportunity to call alyson gay. i need to get on that tomorrow when i continue the game. to be honest i think its because i call attractive people gay. i dont know why really, but if i see an attractive person, i will call them gay as fuck. ig because in those moments i myself feel gay? idk. and sorry alyson, ig youre just not my type. girl's real pretty but i like my women with a bit more moustache ya know. and that isnt a way to say that i dont like women. i mean that whole heartedly: i lfind women who have moustaches attractive. mostly just because facial hair looks good on about anyone. clean shaven face aint my thing just in general. which is why im so fucking sad that i cant grow shit on my face. like bro cmon i have testosterone in me. atleast some amount. give me a fucking moustache.

anyways yeah i forgot to say that tyler is hot too. and also one thing is specific: theres one scene where i got this vibe that he wasnt angry at a person because there was a reason to be angry at them, but because, well,, when youve been angry at someone for so long, and people confront you about it, sometimes you just get stuck on like, defending yourself. defending your anger. even if there isnt a reason for it anymore. you dont want to feel like all the time youve been angry at them, you were wrong to be so. and when you get riled up, its hard to calm down and regocnise that forgiving someone in the present, doesnt invalidate the feelings you had of them in the past. and you just get stuck having this tunnel vision where you are angry at this person. doesnt matter why, you just are. because youve always been angry at them.

yeah so, i was probably just reading into that scene a bit too much, but i just related real hard alright. its the one with tyler and alyson talking to brown for the second time. it just fucking hit me. and then there was that later scene with tessa. and,, the vibes were just different. it was much calmer, and no one said anything that would've made him feel the need to be defensive. they had a conversation. and i think, if tyler and brown could manage to let out their steam, and then have a calm conversation, tyler would probably forgive him.

i just. i know that feeling so well. being mad at someone just because, well, you hate them. and you dont even remember why, but wouldnt you be such an asshole if this whole time youve been angry at them for no reason. so you double down. think that whatever it is that made you hate them, it was bad enough to warrant your grudge. and you nitpick all of their actions to find little things that annoy you, or something about their behaviour you didnt like, or maybe you didnt like the tone of voice they used that one time. and when your anger is running out of steam, you remind yourself of all those little things. and its hard to talk to anyone about it, because everytime you do, you find that there isnt really a reason for your feelings. and confronting that is hard, especially if youre doing with the person you are angry at. and the smallest of things they say or do in that calm moment can feel like an attack on your character. belittling you. or maybe they just laugh. and you dont like how lightly they seem to be taking this conversation. they arent taking it seriously. they arent taking you seriously. and you go quiet and add that conversation into the pile of reasons to hate them.

another media post that turned into venting. sorry. and yes that was about my mother, surprise surprise. though ive got testimony from third parties(mys sister), about how my mother sucks, and that evidence will last me for a while. im not even trying to forgive her at this point, im just trying to save myself.

she likes to say that im stubborn and resiliant. when adults ask what kind of person i am. i guess sometimes i feel stubborn in my anger, but that does not last for good things. i have no patience for myself, and no resilience to keep trying. i am pretty stubborn when it comes to proving people wrong. but most of the time im just trying to prove them that im not as good or smart as they think. showing that i dont have "potential for anything, if you set your mind to it". showing that i dont have the strenght to get out of bed. proving that "only a week of school" isnt easy for me.

god okay i dont want a repeat of yesterdays whole ordeal so im forcing myself to cut this now. sorry for the typos, i cant dwell on this longer.

[ghostdaichi]

My Kids Think I’m A Cooler DM Pt. 2

Eddie Munson x Reader

Eddie gets his chance to show off his DM skills to Lady Chaos, the freshmen’s original DM.

AN: I got quite a few requests to do a pt. 2 so here it is! I’m so glad you liked the first one and I hope this one holds up!

Part 1

(Warnings: Cursing, suggestive language, flirting/bullying Jason, mentions of weed)

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Finding the Hellfire Club room was a lot more difficult than you thought it was going to be. You didn’t go to Hawkins High after your freshman year, you went to some fancy ass private school in the next town over.

Asking for directions wasn’t helping either. You stop a girl in the hallway and when she was about to respond, a blond kid in a letterman jacket speaks up.

“What is that freak using you as their virgin sacrifice?” You slowly turn to him and tilt your head to the side. “I’m sorry?” “That cult is going to use you as their virgin sacrifice, I’d run the other way and never turn back.” You cracked your neck. Putting trust fund assholes like this guy in there place ended up being your favorite pastime in high school.

You step closer to him. “Jason is it?” You run a finger over the embroidery on his jacket. “A virgin sacrifice refers to someone who’s blood hasn’t been used in ritual sacrifice before..therefore mine wouldn’t work, yours on the other hand would be perfect. Though as far as the other meaning of the word, you wouldn’t be able to handle me baby boy. I’d ruin you in two seconds flat.”

The color drains from the jock’s face and you give him a sickeningly sweet smile. “Now. Where is the Hellfire Club room?”

The boys were setting up for their session and Eddie was starting to grow more and more impatient. “Eddie she’ll be here, I’m sure she just got lost.” Dustin speaks up, all three boys start to feel anxious about what would happen if you didn’t show.

“If your champion doesn’t show, she must forfeit the challenge and-“ The door swings open and Jason of all people walks in. He doesn’t make eye contact with anyone when you walk into the club room.

“Ah I was starting to think you weren’t coming M’lady.” Eddie bows dramatically to you, all the previous tension left the rest of the group. “You thought I wasn’t going to come and beat your ass Munson? You were very mistaken.” He shoots you a grin and finally acknowledges Jason. “As much and I am happy to see you, why is he here?”

“Learning a lesson. Don’t be rude Jason, say hello.” The very condescending and cocky voice you use is only known by anyone here as a voice from your campaign. Seeing it in a real life situation was weird.

“Hello…Munson..” Jason struggles to call Eddie anything other than ‘freak’, but he didn’t which makes everyone in the room audibly gasp. “Okay Jason that’s enough now, you may go.” He quickly leaves after you say that, running to basketball practice like a dog with its tail between his legs.

There was a moment of silence before Mike yells, “What the hell was that?!” You grin. “A magician never reveals their secrets.” You wink at Eddie and you both sit down to start the session.

“Not bad sir, not bad at all.” You approach Eddie once the game ends. “I do have some ideas though if you’re willing to hear them.” Eddie pauses for a second, Gareth comes up behind him and whispers, “Dude ask her out!” He glares over his shoulder and tells everyone to get out. “Except you of course, Lady Chaos.” They all leave so it is just the two of you.

“I’d love to share my ideas over something to eat if that’s okay with you.” You realized when Gareth said that, Eddie wasn’t going to ask you, so you did first. His face flushes red before he nods. “Yeah sure that actually sounds fun, I’m in.” Eddie smiles and throws an arm around your shoulders. “But first I need to know, what did you do to Jason and can you teach me?” You laugh as you both start walking out of the school. “I can tell you, but I’m afraid you don’t have the…assets to be able to actually do it.” He throws his head back in laughter, slightly understanding the interaction more. Eddie starts towards his van and you to your car. He stops and turns to you. “Are you coming m’lady?” You look between him and your car, shrug, and head over to him.

“You know you’re allowed to call me (Y/n) right?” He nods and opens the passenger door. “Yeah but I like to call you m’lady. Makes me feel respectful.” You giggle softly and hop up into the van that smelled like weed. Eddie climbs in and speeds off, heading towards a diner closer to the edge of town.

“No fucking way, you said that to Jason Carver!?” You sip on a milkshake, telling Eddie the story about earlier in the day. “Yes! His face went so pale so fast! It was hilarious.” Eddie laughs and looks back up to you. “Ya know, I really like hanging out with you (Y/n), you’re actually really cool.” “What? You didn’t think I was going to be insanely cool and awesome?” You joke and he starts trying to backtrack. “I’m kidding Eddie, I think you’re cool too.”

At the end of the night, Eddie takes you back to the school so you could get your car and drive back home. “Thank you for tonight Eddie, it was a lot of fun.” “You are very welcome my dear lady, have a good night.” He smiles and you kiss his cheek before getting into your car. Eddie’s face turns a bright shade of red as he watches you drive off into the night.

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TAGLIST: @joukiworld @6452291-1

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[fruitcoops]

Hello firstly I’d just like to say off of your recent fic angry loops is sexy loops and also if you feel up to it would you be willing to write a fic of loops loosing his temper on the ice like fully dropping his gloves and fighting I know you’ve done a couple before where he’s been defending James and the one with greyback but I think it’d be cool to see him loose his head because of what’s been done directly to him and not his team mates? Also I hope you’re taking care of yourself!

Yes, I love this prompt! It’s not a knock-down-drag-out fight, but I hope you enjoy it anyway ❤️ SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for homophobia, mentioned slur (not explicit), mild violence

They were still muttering behind him, laughing about some inside joke that was almost certainly at his expense. Just keep swimming, he thought as the refs reviewed a call.

“—not about to pussy out,” one of the guys snorted. “What, you think I can’t beat him?”

Remus ground his teeth.

Not two seconds later, something prodded the back of his shoulder. He ignored it. Not worth the penalty. A second poke nearly made him veer off course.

“Can I help you?” Remus asked as he finally turned. His annoyance bled into every word, but the two idiots only grinned. They were enforcers; big guys like Kuny, except without the kindness or intelligence in their eyes.

“How much did you have to pay to get your spot on this team?” one of them taunted, cocking an eyebrow. “Oh, sorry. How much did your boyfriend have to pay?”

“Less than your dad paid me last night,” he deadpanned. The refs would be done soon, and then he could find an excuse to drop the gloves. Deep breaths, his dad would say.

His mother would tell him to knock ‘em dead.

“Hey.” The next push was even harder; the bigger man’s voice was angry, now. Remus smiled to himself. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

“Who are you, my mother?” he snorted, though he turned again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Finn nudge Talker with his elbow.

“I bet she’s real proud of you for sleeping your way to the top.”

“She is, actually.”

A gleam lit in his watery blue eyes, as if he had won something. “So you admit it?”

“What, that my mom’s proud of me and you’re an asshole? It’s not like it’s a secret.”

The shorter man—who had a good three inches on Remus but wasn’t nearly as fast—sneered. “My friend here bet me ten bucks you’d fight.”

“Ten bucks?” Remus widened his eyes. “Wow! You could buy yourself an ice cream with that! Good for you, buddy!”

Mauve colored his cheeks and tree-trunk neck as he skated right into Remus’ personal space. “I’m willing to lose that bet if it means knocking that smug look off your face,” he snarled.

Remus rolled his eyes and started heading back to his team. The review was clearly almost done. It was time to get his head off the schoolyard and into the game. “In your dreams, asshole.”

“Run along back home, you—“

The slur hung in the air like a swarm of bees. Remus stopped cold. Everyone within earshot went still.

Remus sighed, and slowly turned to face them again. “I really wish you didn’t just say that.”

A vicious glimmer crossed the shorter man’s beady eyes. “And what—“

The sickening snap of his nose beneath Remus’ knuckles and the ensuing shriek harmonized beautifully with the pulse pounding in his ears. Blood dripped through thick fingers. “Call me that again,” Remus said calmly, skating toward him despite the anger snarling inside his chest. “Do it.”

The taller man stepped in front of him. “Look, dude—“

“You wanted a fight, didn’t you?” Remus shoved him in the chest. “Ten bucks to get a rise out of the rookie? Your friend called me a slur and got exactly what he deserved for it, so either fight me like you wanted or stay the fuck out of my way.”

Talker’s hand was solid on his shoulder. “Loops—“

“What’s it gonna be?” Remus asked, making unblinking eye contact with the enforcer.

There was a pause, then a shake of the head. “You’re fuckin’ crazy, Lupin. Should’ve stayed on the bench where you belong.”

“Call me another slur and I’ll show you exactly where I belong, you second-rate coward. Now pull your head out of your ass and play the game with some dignity. Enjoy your ten bucks.”

Finn whistled lowly as he rejoined the group; Talker was still holding his shoulder, like he was afraid Remus was going to do something stupid. That was probably for the best. One of the refs raised a brow and blew his whistle. “Number six, two minutes for fighting. Number 14, five minutes for discrimination.”

“What?” The shorter enforcer spluttered around the fresh gauze in his hand. “He broke my fuckin’ nose!”

“Welcome to hockey,” the ref said drily. “Next time, read the rules about offensive language.”

“He played the gay card!”

Remus rounded on him, blood boiling. “I played the ‘get the fuck out of my face and don’t call me a slur’, you—“

“Okay,” James interrupted, skating between them with a palm on Remus’ chest. He lowered his voice, eyes softening in concern. “Two minutes is more than enough, yeah? We need you out here. You can kick his ass once you’re both out of the box.”

Remus clenched his jaw so hard his mouthguard squeaked, but he nodded and headed toward the box after a short pause. He already achieved his goal; those two minutes would be a goddamn victory lap.

Sirius’ proud smile and light shoulder check as he passed wasn’t half-bad, either.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 314: ...Or You Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Villain

Previously on BnHA: Some random assholes were all “let’s throw exploding spears at All Might and see if it activates his Conqueror’s Haki” and SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS, IT DID!! Elsewhere, Lady Nagant confusingly tried to capture Deku alive by shooting him in the stomach, but to be fair I guess that’s what happens when you send an assassin to do a bounty hunter’s job, so yeah. Deku was all “ouch”, and then because this is a shounen he basically just straight up forgot about it, and did a big fancy Smokescreen thing, and then activated his mildly incomprehensible new ki-blasting quirk which he got from the Third. En and the Third were all “hey Deku maybe let’s not just impulsively activate all this shit in the heat of battle when you don’t know how to use it yet and you’re already injured,” and Deku was all “thanks for the quirks guys but I’ll take it from here” and snuck up on Nagant and grabbed her arm and so now what’s going to happen I wonder.

Today on BnHA: Nagant is all “[shoots Deku again]” because of course she is lol. Deku is all “tell me about AFO!” and Nagant is all “why would I tell you anything?” and then proceeds to tell him her entire life story which is FILLED WITH SO MUCH MURDER, YOU GUYS. Holy shit. So basically she was an assassin for the HPSC, which we already knew, but somehow it’s one thing to know that, and another to actually see her running around capping dudes in the forehead and being covered in more blood than the elevator from The Shining. Anyway, so you’ll never believe it, but all that murder had a negative impact on her psychologically, and eventually led her to question everything she believed about hero society, and so she killed her creepy boss and was promptly sent to Tartarus. This extremely fun chapter ends with Overhaul showing up all “HI, HELLO, I’M STILL HERE”, because for some reason he is still here. Why are you still here, Overhaul.

“the beautiful Lady Nagant” oh you know your audience don’t you Horikoshi

well all right then! so I’m guessing this means that she is not, in fact, going to roll over and die just because Deku’s out here all “GOT YA!” like they’re playing a game or tag or something. ffff may the manga gods have mercy on our young suicidal protagonist

lmao so Deku is all “GOD I’M SO SMART, WHAT A GOOD STRATEGY I HAD, CAPITOL JOB THERE OL’ CHAP, CAPITOL” and lol, okay. I mean, it was a good plan though. but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop here

“I’ll make you give me information on All for One” well there you go, lol. Deku Angst arc still fully engaged. still no light in his eyes either of course. just a lil chaotic ball of sleep deprivation and rage

lol, fucking THANK YOU though

oh my god what the hell did she do to him lol

did she shoot him with her elbow??? fucking look at this?? THIS IS WHY WE LISTEN TO HAWKS oh my god Deku are you dead

WHAT’S HAPPENING, IS THIS GOOD OR BAD, WHO’S WINNING

things that I wish I could tell from this panel which I unfortunately cannot tell

did she stab him or shoot him?? can you imagine if it was the former lol. why does Horikoshi keep stabbing all my kids. look Kacchan now the two of you can match

did she actually hit him or did he get away??

or did she hit him and then he jumped away?? just, what

well anyway, so now Deku is asking her why she sided with AFO, but he seems a lot more pissed off than when he was interrogating Muscular, though. probably because she shot him three times. fair enough

oh my god

does Lady have a blog here on tumblr dot com?? -- does Horikoshi have a blog here on tumblr motherfucking dot com?? why do I suddenly feel like this man is out here sneakily reading up on all our discourse

oh my god Deku it’s almost like getting up close and personal with someone who can shoot custom bullets from any distance and any position with deadly accuracy was a terrible fucking idea

IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD WARNED YOU NOT TO ENGAGE WITH HER AT ALL COSTS. IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD HAD THE FORESIGHT TO DO THAT sob. can you imagine how much shorter this series would be if characters actually listened to Hawks. Hawks, and Momo. why do we even let anyone else run the show ever

OH MY GOD

DEKU, RUN

OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

this looks a lot like what happens to me whenever I play One’s Justice. those fucking combo attacks that you can’t fucking escape from and so your character just has to stand there getting their ass whalloped repeatedly while you wonder why you paid $40 for this

but anyways though. so Lady who did you kill?? I bet they deserved it, don’t worry I forgive you

(ETA: ANYWAY SO FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT LADY NAGANT DID NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. aside from murdering all those innocent people and shit. but there were CIRCUMSTANCES, and THEY WERE EXTENUATING, OKAY.)

-- holy shit

looks like the HPSC arc is back on the menu boys

so are we about to learn that the HPSC was going full Hydra on people’s asses? secretly dispatching anyone they deemed a threat to society?? “taken care of” as in you fucking shot them??

so then was the “hero” she killed actually one of the guys who was giving or carrying out these orders?? holy shit Lady, up until now I’ve mainly just been stanning you for your flawless eyebrow game and metal af quirk, but this shit could actually get real very quickly, and I am prepared to genuinely and sincerely love the shit out of you depending on what we learn next about your backstory

oh my god?!?

so wait, hold up. am I reading this right?? basically the HPSC started murdering vigilantes because they were worried they were gaining too much of the public’s favor?? holy fucking shit???

oh my GOD oh my god

“it’s been a while since I scarred you all with the dead dog and the graphic slaughter of an entire innocent family, huh,” Horikoshi says thoughtfully. “anyway so what do you all think of my new creation, the Spaghetti Bullet.” well, Horikoshi, so you know that squished-up face that Kermit the Frog makes sometimes? yeah. that’s what I think, if you must know lol

holy hell the juxtaposition

I’m actually kind of surprised to learn she had a lot of fans? what with her M.O., I was expecting her to have been an underground hero like Aizawa, but apparently not? then again I still have absolutely no idea how any of that works. I really need to read Vigilantes already

oh snap

nothing like a sweet dose of assassin trauma to finally round out our BnHA Trauma Bingo!! well done guys, we finally collected all of the traumas! hooray!

noooo Ladyyyyyyy

holy shit what a fucking chapter. like, this man promised us an assassin, and went and fucking delivered. I was not expecting it to be this dark, lol, but holy shit I am here for it

you know, at some point you have to start questioning the logistics of this, though

I mean, how do I put this... her quirk isn’t exactly subtle. that murder scene from a few pages back looked like the first season of Dexter for fuck’s sake, that’s not exactly “disappearing” people now is it?? and I mean, her bullets are literally made from her own fucking hair; it seems like it would be impossible not to leave any evidence behind. did no one start to wonder who the fuck was going around murdering all these people? or did the people who asked too many questions wind up getting conveniently “disappeared” themselves??

and hey, speaking of asking too many questions

holy shit is he blackmailing her??!? or no, wait -- what the hell is he reaching for in his pocket boy you better not

(ETA: what exactly was this man expecting fdslkjd. “uh oh my unstoppable hair trigger assassin who is literally always armed is asking questions, better announce that I am going to shoot her and then reach into my pocket veeeeeery slowly while she stands there all of two feet away.” how did this guy ever function as the head of a shadow government with these decision-making skills, I’m genuinely baffled.)

OH MY GOD LADY YES

this. right here. is why “run the fuck away” was damn good solid fucking advice. oh shit. but my god did this dude have it coming

so wait lol has she just been narrating all of this out loud to Deku this entire time

okay but can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the fact that they’re having this deep conversation about the dark secrets of hero society right in the middle of their intense mid-air sniper free-for-all lol

holy shit you guys, Nagant’s the one that should have made the tell-all video. I mean, no offense to you, Dabi, I’m sure you worked very hard on your video and did a ton of crunches every day so that you would look good with your shirt off while you told the world all about how your dad was a jerk. but seriously...

this is already like 100x more convincing than what he put out. also, gasp, is it another flashback

yes it is oh my gosh

so the HPSC Chairladyperson whom ReDestro killed used to be this guy’s direct subordinate, huh? I wonder if she kept the whole assassin program going after she took over. can’t say I was feeling any particular kind of grieving way about her death before, but certainly not now lol

but unfortunately Nagant has finally lost me at the same place where all of the villains inevitably do, which is to say when they somehow make the dubious mental leap from “society sucks and is bad” to “let’s just be openly fucking evil lol, worth a shot.” because when heroes murder innocent people and cover it up, that’s obviously bad (and I mean, it absolutely fucking is lol, don’t get me wrong); but when villains murder innocent people straight up out in the open without giving a fuck, they’re righteous revolutionaries? just -- is there really no non-murdery middle ground here?? I guess that’s what Deku and co. are for, hopefully

anyways oh shit Deku seems to have spotted something?? and he’s doing something weird with Blackwhip what

oh, he spotted her, I guess

lmaooooo

new favorite Deku panel right here. a masterpiece

oh my god you guys our little boy is starting to grow up before our eyes

you love to see it. and you can tell with those elipses that he’s gearing up to say something really cool and determined and badass like the shounen protag he is, yes please, Deku ilu so much please do your thing

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

IS THAT A TEENY TINY LIL EYE SPARKLE THERE OMG. still not anywhere close to his usual standard, but that’s some clear resolve there in his eyes there at long last! it always shines the most clearly when he’s being true to himself and his ideals, so I love that it finally shows up again here, when he’s reaffirming his resolve to help others no matter what

uh oh so what’s Lady going to do now

is it time for a trump card?? kinda sounding like it’s time for a trump card

???

I lied btw, this is my new favorite Deku panel. but anyways what is she up to now lol

ohhhhhh, lol

why does she seem shocked, lol. here I thought this was part of her plan, but apparently she forgot all about ol’ “Look Ma, No Hands” back up there

and so I guess that’s it for this week! so we’ve learned basically everything now about Lady and her quirk and her history with the HPSC and why she agreed to work for AFO. pretty much the only question that still remains is why the hell she decided to drag this asshole along for the ride! because I still cannot figure that out dsklkjlkf

(ETA: actually now I’m kind of wondering if they maybe have some past connection we don’t know about yet. when exactly was Nagant sent to Tartarus? is it possible she was ordered to track down and kill Overhaul at some point before that, but never got around to it? or something else along those lines? idk but now I’m curious.)

anyways Deku, I know that your empathy has no bounds and that you’re on a “saving villains” kick right now, and good on you... but also, if you decide to just like, skip all of that shit just this once, absolutely no one will hold it against you, I’m just saying. just, all I’m asking here is maybe let’s think twice before we start trying to reform guys who imprison and torture little girls for profit. I think maybe that’s a good place to draw the line. next week is going to be a very interesting chapter lol

[tteokdoroki]

hello! if you’re still doing these could i please request 7 with Bakugou?

if you’re not taking them pls delete !! 💕

katsuki bakugou x gn!reader.

tteokdoroki teaparty event masterpost!!

♡ prompt #7  —  reader has a secret admirer, character of choice doesn’t know how to confess.

♡ genre: everyone, fluff + slight angst.

♡ word count: 1.8K

♡ warnings: cursiing!

♡ author’s notes: thank you for requestiing my lovely !!

yet again, warmth spreads underneath your skin and across your chest at the sight of the chocolates displayed cutely across your desk. for the last week or so, you’d received a flurry of gifts from an unknown admirer— each attached to a sweet note, written with such deep feelings that every time you read one your heart thumped loudly in your chest.  

“let me guess, another one?” mina swoons from your right, joining you in the empty classroom for the day ahead. pink hair tickles at the junction between your head and your shoulder as she reaches for the box of sweets in your grip— you don’t bother putting up a fight, knowing she’d take it from you anyway. “that’s like the third time this week, yn.”

bowing your head shyly, you run your fingers over the small note that lays unfolded on your desk. ‘for you, i’d do anything.’ it reads and you wonder for the umpteenth time; you out of all of classmates is capable of writing such a thing. “i know, i really wish i knew who’s sending them— no ones ever quite done something like this for me before.” you voice is quiet and hopeful, a contrast to the bustling energetic babbles that come from your third year classmates as they filter in for the day ahead. you scan them all to look for a possible source, knowing that your heart could belong to anyone of them.

“it’s gotta be deku!” kaminari cuts through your train of thought like a knife through butter— throwing his arm around your shoulders as he plucks the box of chocolates from mina’s grip, much to her annoyance. “he’s like the sweetest dude in the class, there’s no way it could be anyone else. we’re not capable of cute shit like that.” you roll your eyes and allow your friend to tear open the box for a morning treat but let your gaze slip over to where izuku chats animatedly with ochako. not him.

jirou is next to speak, ripping the box from the blonde to take it to her desk beside yours. kaminari whines as the girl divides up the sweet snacks for, taking one for both herself and mina. chaos is ensuing and yet again, your friends are the centre of it. “nah, my bet’s on sato...how else would yn be getting so many sweet treats every day?”

the group falls silent, mulling over the choice as you finally take a seat and swipe one of the chocolates for yourself. popping it into your mouth, you huff in frustration.

“doesn’t make sense, everything gifted to me so far has been insanely exclusive or expensive...some are even my favourites from abroad and— i don’t speak to sato enough for him to know them...“ you admit, pawing your cheeks with embarrassment.

“maybe it’s kirishima then! you guys are always together and he kinda seems like the romantic type..?” your pink haired friend suggests and the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. it was true, you were both always together— even if it was in the presence of others like bakugou and kaminari— and had more than enough in common, from music tastes to gaming. you could see the hardening hero as someone you’d go for as well, eijirou was an obvious choice. “what do you think, bakugou?”

you peek up from the note ( neatly folded ) and box of chocolates ( now returned ) that sit on your desk, catching the arrival of your final three friends. bakugou, sero and kirishima himself. you feel body flush with warmth as you catch the latter’s ruby eyed gaze and give him a small wave accompanied by a smile; that kirishima quickly returns.  

the blonde however, tsks at mina’s question before making his way to his seat. you considered yourself and katsuki to be good friends; it was usually quiet whenever you too were around one another which was a nice change of pace from his usual rowdy personality— but the majority of your time with each other was spent with him teasing you for your quirk.

“‘m callin’ bullshit. whoever this is should hurry up and face how they feel. the candy shit is stupid.” bakugou growls out, throwing his backpack onto the desk; ready to begin class. in all three years of knowing him, he’d never showed any signs of romantic interest towards anyone in your class, especially you. meaning that your admirer, definitely bakugou.

you turn away from him and your group of friends to face the board, ignoring how they scold him for his harsh words. “right, stupid...” you sigh quietly, just as aizawa enters the room.

ever since your brief conversation with the explosive boy himself, bakugou had been increasingly rude to you throughout the day and it was starting to get on your last nerves. at first, it had been subtle— bumping you in the corridors between classes, pretending he didn’t have an extra pen for you when you knew that he carried spares for your friends who often forgot and then he’d straight up ignored your invitation to study during lunch like you usually did.

you figured that the blonde was having a bad day, bakugou was never usually this harsh to you and you could talk it out with him later. this behaviour was something you hadn’t seen from your friend since first year, and you almost believed that something else had been bothering him— until he almost blew you high into the sky during hero training that afternoon. of course you called him out on it, yelling at him in front of the entire class as your frustrations finally bubbled over but bakugou remained straight faced— leading to your current predicament.

aizawa thought it was best for the two of you to work things out over cleaning duties after school— something you thought you’d been well past seeing as you were third years now. mature, grown up third years who knew how to talk about their problems. apparently, katsuki bakugou was not one of them. even while you rearranged chairs and swept under desks, he still managed to crawl under your skin with petty remarks and hums of disapproval.

it’s only when you realised that katsuki had been actively trying to avoid your gaze or rather, your entire presence— that you snapped, dropping the broom you held in your hands and letting it clatter to the floor beside him, ultimately grabbing his attention.

“are you fucking insane—?”

“what the hell is your problem, bakugou?” you slice right through his words, a quiet rage flooding your bloodstream as you glare down at him. the boy himself looks dumbfounded, having never heard you talk to him in such away, before and stops shelving the books he had been holding. “did i do something to you?”

“like I’d let you do anythin’ to piss me off.”

god, he infuriates you. you step closer to the blonde, who stands at least half a head taller than you and shove at his chest as best you can— needing an outlet for your frustrations. “then why have you been acting like an asshole all day? first you blow me off and then you quite literally blow me up, and now? you’re avoiding me?” your fists curl in his untucked shirt, tugging at it as all of your emotions spill out into the space between you. “i don’t know what i did, but it doesn’t mean you get to treat your friend like shit, katsuki. you’ve been so mean to me today!”

bakugou looks away, avoiding your eyes that cloud with a sadness he can’t bare to face. you tell yourself not to cry, hating the way your bottom lip wobbles at his change in attitude. “’m mean to everyone, there’s nothin’ special about you.” he excuses himself, trying to step away from you.

“but not to me, you know that,” your voice shakes, everything you’d held back finally slipping through opened cracks. why was he treating you this way? what had you done to deserve this? you glance up, trying to find his vermillion eyes and the answers that may lie behind them. “you’ve been acting so...so off, since this morning, when mina asked about my admirer. you called it stupid. is it so hard to believe that someone, that kirishima might even like me?” the grip you had on bakugou’s shirt loosens but you remain leaning against him, neither of you daring to breathe. “why should i even care what you think? you’ve never been one for romance...u-unless you count the manga that you read but i don’t know how that would...”

and then your babbling stops, realisation washing over you in heavy waves. bakugou appears visibly tense before you, fist clenching and unclenching by his aides as you process your own train of thought. he hadn’t been mean to you for the sake of it, he had been because he didn’t know how else to express his feelings of jealously. it wasn’t kirishima that had been sending you notes, no— it had been bakugou all along. “how that would relate to me...” you think out loud, feeling him flinch beneath your grip. “k-katsuki...do you have a crush on me?”

“...don’t...” the blonde warns, heat rushing to his cheeks at your very accusation. a smile comes rushing to your cheeks, the familiar warmth finding its way back into your chest. “don’t look at me like that, fucker. i-i’m not good at this emotion shit, you know that and this was easier than talking— yn, stop fucking lookin’ at me like that.”

the almost whine that slips from between katsuki’s lips makes your tummy fill with affectionate butterflies, causing you to finally let go of his poor shirt and throw your arms around him in a tight hug. bakugou hesitates for a moment, trying to decode the situation and decide for himself if this was real— but you decide to do the talking and tell him foot yourself. “can’t help it, not when i feel the same way about you, katsuki.” you knew that no matter who was behind your little gifts and love notes, your heart would belong to your admirer and your admirer alone. with a rush of adrenaline after feeling katsuki return your embrace, you lean up to press a soft lingering kiss to his chapped lips.

he tastes like honey and smoke, feels warm like a soft summer breeze but as your lips love together and speak a thousand unspoken confessions, the pair of you realise that you never want the moment to end. “i meant what i said in that last note,” bakugou hums softly, pressing his forehead to yours and holding you close as if you’re going to disappear or suddenly realise your feelings for him aren’t true. “i’d do anything for you...”

“anything?” for the second time that day, you swoon at the blonde’s words and peck his nose gently.

he nods once, lost in thought before speaking again. “except for buy you those fucking chocolates again. they’re fucking expensive, cost a shitload.”

you snort at that, leaning up to lock lips him again— who needed chocolate when you could kiss katsuki bakugou instead.

[lordartsy]

A3! 5 year anniversary countdown: ~After-talk~

This is basically an annoyingly long A/N, none of you have to read it.

January's now over...!! How'd you guys do in the event? I was completely and utterly destroyed by it! ☆

I mean, imagine me, alright? I'm just a little guy. I've got like 300 something something gems to spend, and I have two favorite characters, I'm gonna try getting them both!

So I get kazu, right? Cool! My future's looking bright! Maybe I can get tsuzu too, right? Wrong!

I could sit here and complain about my rolls in detail, but the long and short of it is that I got a LOT of itarus and citrons (one full bloomed r itaru, one full bloomed sr itaru, an ssr christmas itaru, and SIX anniversary citrons!! Thats enough citrons to form a whole wakiwaki-gumi!!). I call them the Partners In Crime Duo (Sr +60%) because they basically robbed me blind

Murder! I spent like 800+ on the spring scout alone, dude!

And tsuzuru's in the tease for the next event...!!? All this pain and suffering...!!

.... Welp, setting my grudges aside.

Doing the anniversary series was a real educational experience for me. I learned a lot of things, like:

- doing something that takes as much time as this series did requires a lot of planning ahead, and its my bad for winging it

- how to draw like 23 different flowers

- being passionate about your work is cool and all but not sleeping and forgetting to eat will land you in the hospital! (twice!!)

- a weak tablet (broken screen) + pointy finger (worn out from drawing/gaming) is NOT an optimized drawing set-up (and one of these days im gonna get me a proper drawing tablet but for now, I'll have to make do)

Because of said unoptimized set-up on top of an already bumpy schedule, there were a lot of ideas i had to throw out the window in order to make room for time (even though compromising on backgrounds/shading/details/etc. was already supposed to give me more time, :ugly_crying:). Of course there are sketches and ideas thats completely different from the final product, but i also wanted to draw some minor characters as part of the countdown if i had the time to. Unfortunately, Sakoda decked out in full "Sakyo Oshi" gear is gonna have to wait.

Speaking of concepts and ideas, here are the anniversary pictures that i had planned to go together! (read: PLANNED to go together— they don't, but i hastily edited it to make it kinda look like it does??)

Hindsight powers activating, i really should've drawn them together THEN separated them instead of drawing them separately from the start. Ahh, let this be yet another learning experience for me.

Yknow, the original idea was to have a very simple piece of the character just going about their day, followed by a <100 words essay about something i like about them. It was like that for the first few days and then I completely threw it out the window the more into it I got. Sorry for making you guys read essays about my thoughts on the characters, I literally didn't mean it.

.... No, screw it. I promised myself not to say anything mean about the game or the characters during the entire run, but im sick of being nice to these guys! I'm gonna say something mean about every single one of them!!

Sakuya's an airhead, dense main character edition! Masumi's a creep! Tsuzuru's ordinary as hell! Itaru's a goddamn gremlin! Citron's a weirdo! Chikage :/ Tenma's a pompous rich kid! Yuki's an asshole! Muku's head is stuffed with nothing but clouds! Misumi is literally some kind of alien! Kazunari's annoying! Kumon's obnoxious! Banri :/ Juza's an airhead, socially incompetent edition! Taichi has nothing going on in the brain! Omi kindly shares his brain cells with Taichi, but at what cost! Sakyo's a boomer! Azami's a brat! Tsumugi and Tasuku share a single brain cell, and they lost it during a street act! Hisoka acts like a pain in the ass! Homare's pretentious! Azuma's a slut! Guy is an airhead, language barrier edition!

..... If you've read any of my posts you would know i dont mean any of that (... some of these, at least). Coming up with some of those was very hard; insulting these guys was a lot harder than i thought it'd be.

If you somehow read through all of that, then thank you! Thank you for putting up with the things I say, and thank you for supporting the countdown series! Seeing the things people say in the tags has been a wonderful experience for me, and I'm glad to have provided some sort of entertainment for you all! Thank you again, and see you next time!

[copias-thrall]

How would Mary goore react to hurting someone he genuinely cares about? I absolutely Love your writing!💕

Hello, nonny! Thank you, I love this ask!

This was going to be  alist, but it got away from me! 😅 

Enjoy 😘 

It wasn’t anything big.

Just a few of Mary’s favorite beers (the craft kind—not the shitty beer he drank on his shoestring budget), some of that chronic shit you’d scored and have been saving for a special occasion, and a VHS box set of horror movie classics.

***

Mary comes in and out of your life at will, and that was something you accepted—knowing he was As Is or not at all. And honestly—no, really—you liked that. You had your own shit going on, and being Mary’s expected caregiver was NOT something you wanted to add to that list.

(If someone else wanted to try to tame him and pick up after him, well…kudos to them. Less work for you.)

Mary showed up on your pivotal days and he rubbed your feet and always invited you out to trivia. You'd held him when he was coming down from a bad trip and listened to his grievances and gave him a place to stay when he was persona non grata at his own. And in a way, that made you always feel like #1 in Mary’s world…and that was good enough for you.

***

A few months ago, Mary had been lying on your couch, picking the label off his beer bottle.

“I’m gonna be away for a bit,” he’d said.

“Oh?” you’d responded as you’d mashed the controls on your gaming controller.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ll be around…but I got some shit going on.”

You’d paused your game.

“Bad shit?”

He’d waved you off.

“Neg. Just tryna get myself out there. Signed up for open mics and shit.”

He’d shifted, his long legs receding from around you and folding under him.

“So, like…I got my job at the bowling alley…but nights and weekends are kinda shot.”

You’d tried not to let the disappointment show on your face. You supported Mary’s dreams, and that meant not making an issue that he was finally trying to do something about them.

This wasn’t against you. It was for him.

When you’d taken too long to respond, his face had scrunched.

“But if you want—”

“It’s fine, Mare,” you’d said as you’d made yourself smile. “This is important to you, so it’s important to me.”

You’d unpaused your game.

“Just don’t expect me to not beat this game without you.”

He’d grabbed the controller out of your hands with a snarl, causing you to cry out when you died.

“Fuck the game.” His hand had fisted your shirt. “Give me a night to remember.”

You had. Twice.

***

Mary had texted you occasionally over the next few weeks—a few memes, a few drunken key-smashes, a dick pic, and 2 grainy videos of his performances for critique—but such contact was sporadic, and you’d never seen him in real-time. 

He’d blown in one night, five weeks in, with a box of pizza just as you'd been heading out to meet your crew. When you’d told him you’d made plans, he’d looked so crestfallen that you’d caved and canceled on them.

While he’d been there, he’d given you a date in 3 weeks.

“That Saturday I have nowhere to be,” he’d said as he’d chewed. “I can spend the whole day with you.”

You’d been careful not to seem too eager.

“Oh yeah? Should I plan shit?”

He’d crammed the whole crust into his mouth and had given you a doughy grin.

“Why ’’ya think I told you?”

You didn’t know what you’d expected, but when he’d had to bounce 90min later, you were still surprised. (That was hardly enough time to digest!)

“Sorry,” he’d winced. “I gotta be on a bus in 45min.”

He’d left, and you’d been too embarrassed to join your friends who were only just going to the second bar.

Having fun with your man ;) ? one of your friends had texted.

What do you think? You’d texted back before changing into your pjs and turning on Netflix.

***

So maybe you were low-key excited about your day with Mary.

Perhaps you’d spent those 3 weeks figuring out the perfect date—something that said, “I missed you,” without saying “But in a clingy way.”

Beer and horror were two things the both of you were totally into, and you knew he’d be exhausted, so it seemed perfect. You’d bought the boxed set off of eBay and splurged for expedited shipping; you’d borrowed your brother’s old dual TV/VCR from his college days; and you’d forgone your weekly Chinese takeout for the craft beer funds. (And if things got steamy, well…even better.) 

***

A few days before The Date, you’d run into Mary on the bus. You were coming home from a shift, and he was going to his.

He’d brightened and waved you over—as if you weren’t already on your way—and you’d plopped down beside him with a tired grin. You’d told him of the latest entitled asshole, and he’d showed you another clip of him on guitar.

Before your stop had come up, you’d tentatively placed your hand over his.

“We still on for Saturday?”

He’d blinked at you a few moments before grinning.

“Yeah.”

“Should I plan a whole day for us, then?”

His arm had crept around your shoulders before pulling you into him to kiss your temple.

“Yeah, why not.”

***

That morning, you wake up happy. 

Mary will be over soon.

You roll over and grab your phone.

When should I expect you? :-* 

It takes him an hour to respond. You aren’t surprised—Mary isn’t known for being a morning person—so when your phone dings, you grab it up excitedly.

An excitement that dies when you read his text. And reread. And re-reread.

not 2day 

goin upste 2 show 

You blink.

What show? Didn’t we confirm? 

yeah. got me thinkin 

why no show? 

so i chked 

i missed one 

gotta do it 

Rage blooms hot, then cold behind your eyes and down your cheeks.

But you said we had the whole day. I made plans. 

save em 

ths is impt 2 me 

We’ve had this planned for weeks. 

i thot u suprted me 

on a bus cnt tlk 

You send a few more irate texts, but he doesn’t respond, and you toss your phone across the room with a shout of frustration. You scrub the hot tears from your eyes before they can fall.

And…on paper, Mary isn’t wrong. Nothing you had planned won’t keep: movies, beer, takeout.

But…

It gives you a stark look at what you mean to Mary. He gave you this date and confirmed it. He knew you were making plans.

How long was he going to wait to tell you he wasn’t even in the city anymore?

You fight the urge to kick the VHS tapes across the floor, but you open the fridge and grab a beer. If Queen Elizabeth could have beer for breakfast, then it was good enough for you.

Once you’ve downed all eight, you move on to the jug of vodka you keep for cleaning.

When you empty only liquid from your stomach into the toilet, you grab your frozen fries out of the freezer. You roll a handful of the cold ones in your mouth as you wait for the others to crisp in the oven, and once you’ve consumed the cooked ones, you go right back to the vodka.

***

Opening your eyes the next morning is a mistake, so you take a few deep breaths and go back to sleep.

When you wake again, your heart is fluttering, your stomach turns, and it feels like there’s an ice pick behind one eye. Shuffling slowly, you make your way out to your kitchen where you take some painkillers, drink some pickle juice, and eat two slices of plain bread.

The sense that you did something awful stays with you, but you’re in no condition to find your phone and see what you’ve done. Instead, you go back to bed. It takes more deep breathing to settle yourself, but once you do fall asleep, you’re out for hours.

You don’t feel amazing when you swim to consciousness again, but you feel at least like a human being. 

Your phone is dead when you find it under the sink, and waiting the 5 or so minutes for it to charge feels like waiting to face the executioner.

It’s both better and worse than you expected.

You breathe a sigh of relief to see that there are no vague social media posts, and you didn’t drunk dial any of your friends, but…

The texts to and from Mary are ugly.

Apparently, you’d managed not to send him angry texts until he’d sent you another clip of his performing. But then the floodgates had opened.

You’d started with telling him you didn’t give a shit about the show, how he was an inconsiderate ass, and then you'd devolved into incomprehensible, typo-ridden texts that accused him of using you, that you were only something to do when he didn’t have anything better to do, that he was an entitled man-child and if he didn’t apologize, you were done.

Mary’s texts in response range from him being angry at your disregard, to heated retorts you were blowing this out of proportion (and he didn’t appreciate your “ad hominem” attacks), to a cool detachment that this wasn’t working over text and he’d finish this in person.

You put your head in your hands but are too dehydrated to cry.

***

Mary doesn’t text you again during his self-imposed time frame.

You don’t text him either, but that’s more out of self-preservation than pride. There’s no point exacerbating the situation…and you’re pretty sure there’s no coming back from this, so why speed up the inevitable?

The horror tapes taunt you every time you walk by them, and you wonder if you can return them (you can’t). You give the TV back to your brother, and when he asks you how it went, you plaster a smile on your face and say, “Great!” with forced enthusiasm you hope comes across as genuine.

The primo weed goes over to your friend’s house, and the two of you wax poetic all night about existential claptrap as you devour two cheese pizzas and a bag of bbq chips. You talk about Mary without talking about Mary, and you get a heartfelt, “Sorry, dude.”

You beat the video game anyway, but it’s mostly because you needed something to occupy your mind and less out of spite (though that’s there as well).

***

Despite waiting on tenterhooks to hear anything from Mary, you truly don’t really expect to. You know you’d been atrocious, even if it had been prompted by his careless disregard, and you know Mary isn’t really the kind of guy that troubles himself with relationships that are hard.

Not that you’re in a relationship.

So when there’s a knock on your door a week later and Mary’s behind it, you’re genuinely surprised.

You gape through the peephole in shock.

“Fuck. If you’re there, just let me in, ok?”

Fumbling with the chain, you unlock the door and crack it open.

“Mary?”

“You gonna let me in?” he rasps.

You shrug and step away from the door, and he shuffles inside. He looks around like you’ve changed anything (you haven’t), before turning around to face you.

You close the door and stare back.

He folds his arms. “Breaking up with someone over text is tacky.”

What you think is, So you’ve come to do it in person, but what you say is, “Can’t break up if you’re not together.”

He winces and runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Yeah…apparently I’ve ‘taken advantage' of you.”

This…isn’t what you’re expecting.

“I…what?”

“Can we sit down?”

You nod, and Mary sits rigidly on the edge of your couch. You curl up in the chair on the opposite side.

He rubs his palms down his greasy jeans before he speaks.

“I mean…you pissed me off, ok?”

You nod.

“But, like—you weren’t wrong, ok? I kinda knew that deep down, but I’m a dumbass, you know?”

You don’t nod.

“And I kinda bitched about the whole thing…but the resounding response was that I was the asshole.”

He angles his body toward you.

“I guess I’ve kinda been treating you like my best friend that I fuck sometimes.”

Your entire face flushes—you’d always thought you’d maybe ranked a little higher than that—and you duck your head so he can’t see the tears that you blink back.

There’s a swish of fabric, and you startle hard when Mary’s hand is at your chin. He jerks back with a Sorry.

“Shit—that’s not what I…” he blows out a breath and puts his hands behind his head before looking back up at you.

“But you aren’t, and…fuck this is harder than I thought.”

So this is it.

Waiting for him to do the deed is clearly going to be excruciating, so you take charge of this whole shit-show.

“I understand,” you say flatly.

“You do?”

“It’s ok, Mare-Mary. It’s my own fault for reading too much into it. I just…I saw what I wanted to see, I guess. I know you don’t need…” you look down into your lap, “…my shit in your life.

He makes a noise low in his throat, and then he’s squatting in front of you, his hot hands planting on your knees.

“But I want your shit in my life.”

You squint your eyes at him.

“But what I said…”

He grasps your hands in his.

“Pissed me off, yeah…cuz I wasn’t fucking thinking, ok? You’re like one of the only people who gives a crap about what’s important to me. And all I could see was you suddenly…not.”

Anger wells up in you again, and you yank away your hands.

“Weeks, Mary…weeks of you all over the tri-state area, and you thought I didn’t care because of one night?! A night you promised to me?”

He sits back on his heels. “I know…fuck. Ok? At the time, it just felt…like the show couldn’t be rescheduled. Our night could.”

Because you’re what he does when he’s bored.

You curl in on yourself.

“Shit.” He leans forward again. “Fuck, I’m sorry, ok? I’m fucking on my knees here.”

You blink at him. 

What? 

“Please, please don’t break—say we’re done.”

“What?”

“Look, we can go into my shitty fucking psychological profile on why I fuck around later…but right now I need you to know that I knew it was you before I fucking knew it was you.”

You uncurl.

“That…’what’ was me?”

He knees forward and presses your hands to his face.

“The one I wanna spend my free time with. The one whose opinion means the most. The one who was the first person I wanted to share all my good shit with. You’re the one I missed, and—after that awful fucking night—everything felt pointless because I knew I couldn’t come over and jam about it.”

“Mare—what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m a fucking dumbass. I’m saying I thought I was pissed at you, but I was pissed at myself for fucking it up.” He sighs. “I’m saying no fucking one was on my side and they all told me to get my shit together.”

He looks up at you with wide eyes, and for the first time, you can see how they’re outlined in red, his subtle crow’s feet more pronounced.

“So, you’re not done with me? I’m not…too much trouble?”

He shakes his head in disbelief. “What? Shit, no. I’m asking you to not be done with me. I’ll give you all the nights you want. Fucking text me, and my ass’ll be here posthaste.” He shifts up, and his thumb ghosts over your lips. “Anything to get you to give me that secret smile again.”

“Secret smile?” you ask while trying to perform the action.

Mary actually blushes.

“Uh…yeah. You get this…” he makes a motion across his face, “…when you’re giving it back to me.” His fingers shove back through his hair as he casts his eyes down. “You don’t give it to anyone else.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’ve made a study of it.”

You’re a swirl of emotions. Mary’s apologized—has admitted he was wrong and has asked for…more—but you’re still hurt. And embarrassed.

But he’s looking up at you with wet, hopeful eyes.

“Do you…” you start carefully, “…do you know why I got so mad?”

That statement was clearly not what he was expecting, and he blinks at you a few times before nodding and looking down at the floor.

“I made a…uh, commitment…to you. And I treated it like it didn’t mean anything.”

He gives you a look like, Did I get it right? and that’s close enough—even if he’s missing some of the nuance.

You nod. “And I know I…wasn’t…the best.”

His face contorts, and your heart sinks.

“You…” he shakes his head. “You said some awful things…some hurtful shit—and it really got in my head.”

Mary gives you a complicated look.

“Shit that you’d been pissed about for a while.” He traces your knee. “Shit you could’ve said to me…but shit I should have noticed. Fuck.” He presses his forehead into your knees, and you can’t stop yourself from sinking your fingers into his hair.

He takes it as encouragement and presses into you before looking up again.

“I just kinda wanna put that whole night behind us. It feels like a fucking ouroboros of fault. And like maybe I created it. But let’s agree to like…not do that again.”

You look down at him, and his eyes search your face.

“Ok…but what does all this mean, Mare? I can’t…I need to be something to you, ok? More than just your friend.”

Mary nods emphatically, and he takes your hand and curls his into it.

“No more fuck-ups, and no one else…can we start there?”

He’s saying all the right words, but you’re still trepidatious—you know Mary, and he doesn’t like constraints.

“I…just…how can I believe you?”

He shakes his head like he can’t believe you even have to ask. He rises and awkwardly reaches out to touch your face before drawing his hand back.

“Cuz you’re important to me. I care about you, and I don’t want to lose you. Ever.”

And yeah. Ok.

[tigerdrop]

in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that

ta-dah

ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11

so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)

basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out

now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME

he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)

the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"

(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)

vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping

jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off

and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away

and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try

(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise

and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him

unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey

now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.

and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.

(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind

so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)

but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this

lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play

but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later

and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not

i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic

it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)

it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.

and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"

and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"

normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff

its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!

i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?

well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro

anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)

“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion

and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head

gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is

and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair

so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.

and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).

benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is

benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful

so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried

point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best

benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.

he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words

hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus

benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher

he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.

gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!

but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.

anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.

for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.

and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.

gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.

the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!

gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.

benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth

and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—

and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.

then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.

once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself

he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.

“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”

“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”

and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—

except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—

and—

oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.

then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”

“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”

“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”

“im not a bad dog!”

“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”

(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)