#you see a thing and you dedicate your whole mind soul body to love it

[t1erradelfuego]

[kissoulie]

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒

𓆡 ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤׂ 🫧

— NSFW, MDNI. being in love with soul ♡

warnings: not proofread, odd amount of minecraft references, implied that they met underage but all physical activity happens when both are adults, idol!soul, gender neutral for the most part

nsfw: fem-body in mind but can be read as gn (imo) mild voyeurism, some roughness, overall pretty tame

a/n: i wrote this while doing a harry potter marathon so it's not the best 😭 might make it a series tbh, one movie = one being in love with [piwon]. joking, mostly. work has been ass this week ngl and i work again tmrw buttttttt i will be able to dedicate at least 5hrs to delusion after i pick up some conditioner 🫶 who knows maybe i'll lock in and get it done by the 1st (i probably won't)

1. first meetings

soul is the type of person who would be your friend first. one of your very best friends, actually. if you aren't childhood friends, you would be someone he met by chance. at a store, cafe, a park. no matter what, you would be the one to approach him. striking up a conversation about an interest you both share. soul would take a liking to you immediately, opening up gradually, meeting you as often as his schedule allows. he would eventually have to introduce you to the members, and start bringing you over to the dorm. he's getting recognized. going out was becoming a chore for both of you. besides, you've been friends for a while, it's only natural the next step is hanging out in each other's personal space.

after years of your bond, soul finds both of you in his bed after a long day of practice. he wasn't sure what was up wirh you. normally, you wouldn't insist on seeing him after practice. you knew he was tired. for an hour, you'd been clinging to him, head tucked into the crook of his neck. he didn't need words from you. yet, anyways. he just needed to know you're okay. "my treasure," he whispers, "what's wrong?"

your fingers tighten their hold on his shirt. those soft eyes of his, they melt you. "i just had a bad day."

mhmmmm. soul's hand finds itself pressed against your lower back, pulling you onto his lap with ease. "what else?"

"i love you, that's what else." you see soul's expression twitch ever so slightly, brows furrowing before he evens his gaze with your teary one, "i love you too."

2. commitment

life with soul is bliss. he's an extremely attentive lover. he already knows you inside out, and like everyone you change; he changes with you. he blossoms with you. soul loves you so much, he becomes the best version of himself. he doesn't even mean to. all he knows is that you know perfectly how to soothe his fears, how to celebrate with him, how to make him feel loved. he will never ask for more. he's the kind of boyfriend who brings you things that remind him of you. he makes a minecraft realm just for the two of you, where he fills up a whole book telling you how he loves you more than he's afraid of losing you.

soul has a possessive side to him. he rarely shows it around you, but sometimes you notice. when jongseob is making you laugh just a little too hard. or when you're alone with him in their shared room. if he could, sometimes soul thinks he would bite down on you and claim you forever. but then your eyes light up when you see him. you're encasing him in a hug so tight, so intimate, he forgets all about the possessiveness he felt.

date ideas are split evenly between the two of you. whether it's a movie marathon, a quick little errand turned exploring all the shops, a nice dinner date, playing video games for hours on end... you two come up with your own ideas of fun, and share them. but he never ever lets you pay. he will hold your hand so you can't get your card. trying to pay with cash? he's already tapped his card. oh you tried to be sneaky and pay for dinner by giving the server your card? he gave the hostess his the second you walked in. seriously. he's not huge on princess treatment, or gender roles, but he firmly believes you shouldn't have to pay for anything. except in minecraft. he will go halfsies with you when trading with villagers.

2. intimacy

always, always, always is touching you in some way. holding hands, arms wrapped around you, hand on your side. he is casually touching you no matter where you are. while he used to be shy about kissing you around the members, he'll kiss your forehead, cheek, and nose around them. kissing your lips is saved for when you two are alone because...

every kiss turns into a makeout session. no matter how innocent. you'll give him a soft peck, and before you know it his tongue is slipping past your lips, licking against your own. honestly, he doesn't even always wait until you're completely alone. jongseob does have noise cancelling headphones on, at least.

speaking of jongseob: your lovely boyfriend always seems to be more passionate with you when he's in the bed just across from you two. it's that possessiveness he hides from you. he wants to bite you so hard you bleed, so no one will ever look at you again. but he doesn't want to hurt you. so instead he settles for stretching you open with his fingers while his best friend is in the room. you would think he'd be quiet and leave him out of it, but his dirty talk makes it seem like he wants you to moan a little too loud. "quiet, baby. unless you want him to hear? want him to see how good i ruin you? how i pleasure you? you know he can't see you cum, baby, that's only for me to see."

but aside from that little fantasy of his. no matter how rough soul is with you, he's always making love to you. even when he's thrusting into you so hard the bed is shaking and your knees are pressed up next to your chest, he's still looking at you with his puppy eyes, making you feel so good. and if he finishes too early, you bet he's using his mouth to finish you off, even if it means eating some of his own cum. usually he's ready to go again by the time you cum anyways. he has endless stamina.

taglist: @tkooooop, @haolovre ♡

[v3nusxsky]

Hi Mars! I hope your well!<3 I have a request, it's a larissa weems x fem reader where r and larissa do the nasty then r finds out she's pregnant and after r gives birth she struggles with postpartum depression and one day when larissa comes home from work she finds r holding the baby close to her chest and crying so r tells larissa everything and larissa comforts r and then like maybe years later r and larissa has the most stubborn but cute little girl who loves ice cream and teddy bears?. This might be a bit much but I hope you can do it❤️ thank you Mars!🙏I love your fics🙌

Breaking through the darkness

*Authors note~ another instalment of YAMW and the last in the series but honestly I’d love to write one shots for this universe so if you have any ideas on what you’d like to see hit my asks up. And I’ll see y’all in Sinful Souls*

Trigger warnings~ pregnancy giving birth mentions breast feeding an infant postpartum depression hurt and comfort etc Larissa being the most wonderfully loving wife possible

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

Tag list

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Larissa had a few more nightmares at the beginning of your pregnancy, most about failing you and your unborn child. Yet one thing that didn’t change was her insistence that the baby would be a girl. There is absolutely no doubt in the blondes mind on the child’s gender yet you were adamant that you should decide on a name for both genders. Just in case. Your stubborn nature got you to convince, so boy or girl you’d both decided on their name.

Alongside the debate over names and the insane cravings that often found Larissa fluttering from store to store, in and around Jericho, pregnancy only heightened your stubbornness and insistence that you were simply pregnant not disabled and Larissa’s dedication and truthfulness. However, despite all the new hormones and adjustments to your daily lives you were both committed to each other and overcoming every challenge as a pair.

Anticipation grew as you reached six months pregnant, your ability becoming hyper sensitive and uncontrollable. Deciding to wait to find out if you’d have a son or a daughter is what got you through the changes to your body. Nevermore’s students were abuzz with theories and suggestions about the child. A few of the staff members had thrown you and Larissa a baby shower that was modest and gender neutral but beautiful, the gifts being thoughtful and generous mixed with your new levels of hormones had you in tears at the love and care for your unborn child.

Around the last month of your pregnancy you began to fear you’d fail the baby. You obviously want the best for them, but your parents weren’t exactly the best role models and that led to your mind concocting the most distressing nightmares that often woke Larissa by your screams and sobs, to which Larissa would spend hours consoling you despite her long work hours.

By the end of your pregnancy, you were totally over the whole situation. Not only were you carrying the weight of a whole other human but your back hurt all the time, your ankles were the size of beach balls and the Braxton and Hicks contractions were borderline torture. Sleep being hard to come by all contributed to you wanting your baby earth side now. Larissa liked to suggest that perhaps the child was a perfect mix of your stubbornness and her determination was why your due date came and went with no signs of labour. No. In fact it was 8 days later that things got real, just in time for the end of semester holidays.

After twelve hours of relentless contractions, broken sobs and curses to your lover and little sleep did you bring your child into the world with a massive gasp of relief. Hearing their cry of protest brought tears to both of your eyes as the nurses took the child away to clean them off before bringing them back and placing them on your bare chest without revealing. The doctors and nurses fluttering round the room to ensure you and the baby got the best postpartum treatment before coming to congratulate both of the new mothers.

“You did so well sweet girl, so proud of my girl” Larissa murmured pressing sweet kisses to your forehead as you both gazed down lovingly at the content newborn. “Georgina Faye Weems” you murmured happily as your index finger came to trace her little cheek.

“I thought we decided on Ophelia darling” Larissa murmured just basking in her beauty and the knowledge that she was right all along, now she’d be able to hold her girls. “Georgina for your aunt Isa.”

“That’s beautiful sweetheart, Georgina Faye Weems, you are one beautiful little angel, your momma and mommy love you so much. Everyone at Nevermore is going to love her” Larissa pondered choking back the emotion of her daughters name honouring her long lost aunt.

Adjusting to motherhood isn’t as easy as everyone else makes it look, thankfully Larissa could take the time in the holidays to spend time with her perfect little family as you healed from the birth. Larissa happily woke up to settle Georgina using the milk you’d expressed to allow you some sleep. Being in your blissful bubble of love with her and Georgina was utterly perfect, until the start of school popped that bubble. Larissa had your cover arranged, you’d gone over and over the work they’d be teaching and ensured the teacher would have access to all the materials. What you weren’t expecting was for how hard you’d find the day with your newborn alone.

Larissa couldn’t help but notice how irritated you’d become with her when she’d leave her office for the day. The irritation could rival your stubbornness at the earlier days in your relationship with ease. The poor blonde didn’t know what to do to help you through this time. You were taking on the night shifts now but Larissa had no idea how much sleep you were losing just unable to sleep. Then you noticed that you’d lose concentration for simple tasks, household tasks piling up, being unable to calm your fussy daughter and a huge lack of appetite. You’d make something to eat only to feel physically sick when you managed to sit down to eat.

You were crouched down against the wall, your daughter clutched to your chest as she wailed alongside your sobs and pleas for her to quieten. At this point, you were almost ready to tear your hair out, she is a beautiful girl and there’s no denying that but it seems your brain could only convince you that you’d fail her. That you are failing her. She deserved more than you for a mother. If Larissa was here she’d know how to soothe the baby. Despite being the one to carry her for nine months, birth her and being with her all day every day for at least two weeks without the tall shifter, it was like you were a stranger to her.

Georgina’s little cheeks were bright red now as she wailed unhappily, little fists balled up, the louder her cries were the more tears you shed as you absentmindedly rocked back and forth at a loss for what would help. You’d fed changed and cuddled Georgina, yet nothing seemed to settle her. Until Larissa came in to save the day.

“Oh my little flower, what’s wrong sweet girl? What’s the tears for Gina?” Larissa murmured softly coming to take the baby from you, allowing you the chance to stand up and breathe. Only, you couldn’t. Georgina settled down as she snuggled into the blondes chest, seemingly tired herself out from all the crying. Meanwhile you only seemed to curl into a ball and sob harder. “I failed her” and “she hates me” were mumbled over and over again. Only then did all the symptoms make sense to the principal. Postpartum depression. She’d read about it in all the books but seemingly missed all the signs in you. Her lover.

Placing the now sleeping baby into her bassinet Larissa immediately came to wrap you in her arms like you are a precious china doll. “Oh my darling girl, I’m so sorry I failed you my love, how long has it been this way?” She whispered as her hand rubbed soothing circles on your back. “I’m a terrible mom, she hates me. She loves you, what do I do wrong?” You sobbed your heart out on her shoulder, now the feelings started to flow there was absolutely no stopping the flow. And Larissa, being your stable shoulder to cry on, she held you through it all, promising to take some more time off Nevermore, to help you through this every step of the way. With her love and support you managed to heal and feel more like yourself again.

As your daughter grew, her own little personality began to shine through, it is apparent that she is as stubborn as you yet as truthful and gentle as the Principal of Nevermore. Students of Nevermore adored little Gina more than life itself, Enid particularly loved to gift her soft plushy’s and even Wednesday gifted her a small black swan plush teddy to go alongside the white dove Enid had crocheted.

However, Georgina’s favoured teddy happened to be a soft blush pink bear that you had gifted her for her first birthday. That bear never left her side, a special connection for you and your daughter. At a year and a half Georgina discovered Ice cream for the first time. Smearing it all around her face as you giggled with your daughter, Larissa walking unsuspectingly into the ice cream covered one year old. Now covering the bottoms of her mamas work skirt in vanilla ice cream.

Her little aura seemed to grow daily, beautiful twists and twirls of orange, green, lavender and light blue seemed to brighten with every day of her life, a perfect little blend of you and Larissa Weems, who would’ve knew that Larissa had unknowingly grown your family on your anniversary night. Your daughter being three and incredibly beautiful and brilliant would be a brilliant big sister.

Word count ~ 1718

[ppawmpkin]

You left your diary at my house.

Shuri Udaku x Black Fem Reader

“You left your diary at my house and I read those pages, you really love me baby.” -Wait a Minute by Willow Smith. (This was my inspo for writing this :))

↠︎Fluff

“So let me get this straight, you’ve left some sort of book in the princess’s lab and you’re on edge because of it?” Okoye asked, she didn’t let her judgment towards you go unknown, looking at you as if you were a crazy woman on the street. You flinched under her gaze, trying to ignore the chastisement that laid in the depths of her deep umber eyes.

“It’s not just a book, it’s filled with stuff.” You exclaimed, to the general who did nothing but scoff, her distaste prominent in her features. Creases in her brows, she definitely didn’t find pleasure in you snooping into the wakandian princess’s lab, especially without her knowing, but she knew that even without her accompanying you, you would’ve still acted on your own account.

Calling it a mere “book” was a mere understatement, you had put your whole heart into that pink notebook, every page written from the depths of your soul, every thought, every emotion and every revelation you had went through laid in one of those many lined pages, written in blue pen ink, signed with your signature at the very bottom, although you prayed no one would ever see it. You knew that if Shuri got her hands on your whole life, that would change your whole stance with her, the things you wrote about her were more than friendly, each page you dedicated to her was filled with passion and utter love, love that you didn’t want her to find out about, at least not like this. Not by your own diary, but your own words.

“What stuff?!” She asked, raising her voice, frustrated with the lack of intel she was receiving from you. If there’s anything she hated most, it was being left in the dark, especially if she was risking her title just for you to steal back a book your own irresponsibility lost you.

“Stuff she shouldn’t lay her eyes on, at all.” You loudly whispered, feeling your nerves creep up on you. Your palms were sweating, so much you had to wipe them on your sides, your heart betrayed you, beating out of your chest with every step closer you came to her lab. You were hoping that she had already made her exit, hopefully somewhere far away from the comfort of her lab. It would be quite awkward to explain, if she did catch you and you didn’t think you had the power to mansplain your way out of this one.

“I’ll get it.” You whispered, wiping the glistening sweat off of your palms again. She gave you a swift nod, eyes giving you a warning as to say, hurry up.

You completely sped through her lab, greeted by an upbeat Grio, ignoring his greeting, not with the intention to be rude, but to keep him from attempting to make small talk with you, something you were usually down for, just not at the current moment. You walked up the stairwell, more quicker than you ever had, scared with every step that she would come and find you intruding her lab.

It felt wrong, to infiltrate her lab like this, without her knowing but you felt as if you were protecting all your friendship with her had at stake, knowing in the back of your mind that if she read those love letters you had dedicated specifically to her, it would be over for you. Your secret would be out, you could no longer hide behind your useless reasoning as to why you wanted to be near her all the time, nor could you defend the times where you had lost your composure, taking her harmless words and creating more meaning than she would intend which would lead you into a stumbling mess.

Finally you set your eyes on it, unmistakably yours. You placed the diary in your hands, running a finger over the cover, relief drowning over your body as you held it tightly, knuckles near the color white as you attempted to make your exit, satisfied that your entry had gone correctly. Maybe a little too satisfied, because just upon the time of your departure, Shuri had made her arrival into her office, talking to Okoye who was attempting to distract her, knowing your time was up. “Shit.” You muttered under your breath, scanning for a way around her and Okoye’s conversation. Around the stairs. You thought, catching the very same entrance you had previously entered.

You could take your chances, sneak across the many things she had placed, but knowing Shuri, whose senses were even more keen due to her taking the heart shaped herb, she would be able to see you with her heightened sense of sight, and killer peripheral. “Ziyatha, (fools) that’s all they are, they act so close minded sometimes.” She said, anger weaved in her tone, clearly bothered by something. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but a part of you tugged you to do so. You resisted your urge, her voice in the background as you slowly creeped toward the exit. You were praying you could go unnoticed, hoping that whatever she was rambling on about, would be enough to keep her occupied and away from suspicion.

“Speaking of foolery, (name) could you please reveal yourself now? Let’s not trouble yourself trying to sneak out of the very lab you snuck into.” She said, freezing every muscle in your body. To say you were stumped would be a complete understatement, you couldn’t move, your body flooded with embarrassment, hot in the face. You stayed down, thinking that with silence you would disappear from her mind. You could feel her, arms crossed, a look of amusement plastered on that gorgeous face of hers as she thought of what a stupid decision you had made, not even thinking about the cameras that were everywhere in her lab. She was the princess of Wakanda and one of the smartest people on earth, did you really think you could ease by her unnoticed?

Cursing yourself out in your mind, you slowly peeled out from where you were hiding. Refusing to look in her direction, knowing that the look on her face would only fuel your regret more. “Okoye could you please excuse us?” She asked, Okoye giving you an apologetic look before easing away. The silence had never been more louder, you were too scared to speak, afraid of the words pouring out of your mouth, only digging your grave deeper. She was the first to say a word, sighing as she inched near you.

“What were you doing in here?” She questioned, face scrunched in pure and utter confusion. “Retrieving an item that I left in your lab, earlier today when you showed me your sketches and stuff I left something on the table upstairs.” You muttered, finally forcing yourself to look at her. “What was it, what was so important that could’ve made you sneak into my lab without even asking me?” She said, her voice laced with disappointment at you, scolding you like a mom would. “Nothing.” You said, but she gave you a humbling look, sending you into a downward spiral.

“It better be something, intombazana. (Girl) You know better, if you wanted entry all you had to do was ask, not sneak around like a mad man.” She said, trying to figure out for the life of her, what compelled you to do so. “A book that was dear to me, that’s all.” You said softly, your shame written across your face. “Oh, you mean this?” She pulled your diary from her pocket, and when you attempted to reach for it, she held it up, placing a hand in front of your face. You opened the one you had, every page empty with Shuri’s poorly drawn smiley face and her signature right beside it.

“Shuri, please. I apologize to you, but I really, really need that back.” You begged, hands in a praying stance. Shuri smiled cunningly, “What are you so scared of?” She said, not even knowing the half of it. You wanted so badly to tell her, because in reality that was true, you are scared of her finding out about how much you truly loved her, you were scared of her finding out that you pictured her more your lover than a mere friend, you were terrified, every nerve in your body struck. “Nothing, now please hand it back.” You pleaded, a slight drag in your words as you made another lost attempt to grab it from her.

“Not before I ask you this.” She said, still holding your book up high, dangling it in your face like a dog after treats. “What, what is it?” You said, eager to get this done and over with, so you could finally have your diary in the security of your hands. You most definitely had learned from your mistakes, to never leave something so crucial out in the open like that again, so you wouldn’t end up in these circumstances.

“How long have you been in love with me?” The question glided out of her mouth so smoothly you almost didn’t catch it, except you did. “Wha-what would make you think-” You paused mid sentence, the thing you dreaded the most had became apart of your reality. She had read your diary. She had read everything you wrote about her, those letters, those stupid letters. It hit you like a ton of bricks, your heart increased as you had a slight pant in your breath. “The year after I met you, about three years now.” You came clean, finally ripping off the bandage, exposing your wounds to Shuri, who was now a spectator of your most vulnerable state.

“Wow.” She exclaimed, her single word reaction made you feel far more smaller, you felt as if you had shrunk. “The way you write about me is so-” You cut her off, eyes widening at her sentence. “Weird, I promise I won’t ever do it again. Matter of fact, I can even understand if you don’t want anything to do with me at all.” The last part had came spilling out, word vomiting to keep from breaking down in front of Shuri, who was genuinely concerned for you. “No, it’s not. I just wish you would’ve told me sooner, you made it hell for the both of us, umfazi.” (Woman)

The both of you? How could you have made it hell for her? The meaning of her words didn’t quite register with you. “What do you mean?” You said, making her roll her eyes at you, pulling you close by the end of your hoodie. “I mean, I love you.” She said, bringing a finger to your chin, tilting it upwards so you could see the truthfulness behind her statement. You felt a strange warmth embrace you, content with her words. I love you. You repeated her words over in your head, til you could finally believe them. She noticed your disbelief, laughing at your expression.

She placed a kiss on your forehead, “Yes, I said it. Try not to look so struck by lightning-ish.” She joked, cupping your face with her hands. “Say it again.” You said, feeling far more bolder than you were before. “Hm, so you make the princess of Wakanda fall for you and now you think you can give commands?” She questioned, a playful glint within her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I love you, (name) and I have for so long.” She said. You closed the gap between yours and her lips, catching her by surprise but she welcomed you with open arms, hands trailing down to grab on to your waist.

You kissed her deeply, three years of the bottled love you had stored just for her being shown in just one action. You ran your fingers through her hair, forehead together while you both basked in the moment, the moment your love had finally been set free.

A/N: This is not my best writing work, at all. I struggle a lot with writing stories still so please forgive me but give it a few more months, I’ll learn how to do it better.

[telanadasvhenan]

I haven't spoken alot about my Lavellan, Avelea, but I've been thinking about her dynamic with Solas and what it would be like.

Solas is old, both in physical age (thousands of years old) but spiritually too. He has seen almost everything the world has to offer as well as what it used to be. He knows emotions & spirits lost to time and is familliar with people as a breathing, tangible cohesive unit. Because of this, I feel as though he feels emotions strongly and intensely but they are known to him. He is calm and collected when he wishes to be and allows himself to indulge in anger when he believes it justified. What must it be like to know yourself so well? To be someone and to know who that is. Solas is keen to learn, to grow and be more than he already is. But thats the thing.

Solas is who he is. He has lived, and lived and lived. He will continue to live; to fill his soul with the world even if there is no more room. He speaks of his younger self with a strange disconnect, and I have to wonder, in another thousand years, will he look back on who he was and be unable to recognise that man? Or will it stagnate: will he mourn his ability to change? I find that Solas is so steadfast and sure in his beliefs and convictions, he is almost like a glacier moving through thedas. He has the power to shift history, to liberate and to change everything. Except himself. So devout to his duty and to a cause, like a dog trained to walk at it's owner's heels. He walks the Din'anshiral as if it's the only path he can see. There's a vast sadness in that.

puting the rest below because im a yapper:

Avelea (Lavellan in general I suppose), however, is bright and blinding, each experiance new and unfounded in her world. She grew up chasing the past of a people long dead but is filled with curiousity and wonderment for all things the world has to offer. Her eyes are not adjusted to the light of living. Her soul is young and hungry, famished and lacking in food. She aches for something, unsure and unknowing but bold regardless. And he has a sense of duty to her family, her people. She is to be keeper: to hold them and their history in her heart. That is a kind of knowing that you ache for, the ability to know all that you hold dear. She spends childhoods amongst ruins and the resting place of the dead. I feel like there's a selflessness in that: to know your purpose is to observe, to hold all that you and all those around you find dear, and let it take safety within yourself. But where is the room for you? Where does your own heart go, when it is dedicated to rememberance? How can your life bloom when your mind is a graveyard built for everyone but yourself?

And then the Conclave. Avelea is alone. She has no friends, no allies. Those she travelled with, most likely fellow members of her clan that she grew up with, are dead. Only she lives, their lives and laughter pressed into the pages of her memory. She is imprisoned, accused of crimes she did not commit and is given no choice. Her body is marked, defaced. Her hand no longer belongs to her, as if her soul ever did.

"Felt the whole world change." With a gesure, the world is physically changed. Avelea heals the veil, with a little help. And she observes him, watching him, painting the shades and sounds of his face with her eyes. What must it be like, to be so old and known, to be so sure in everything, just to find yourself confronted with the unknown? Something new, someone new. Solas feels himself in her sight, feels himself be known for something other than he is. And Avelea finds him a tomb of knowledge, of love for all things other than himself and her curiousity pulls her in. She is a stumbling fawn, without the knowledge of it's antlers, wading into the sea in search of a drink. How could a mortal survive the depths of time? And yet it's exhilarating. There is nothing in this world like Solas, so strange and new and destroyingly beautiful.

They see each other and the world changes. Neither of them know if it's for the better. But it's new. It's different and it's blindingly intoxicating.

[fairytsuk1]

Incubus aizawa????

in hindsight, it was a joke! something silly, something that wasn't actually meant to come to fruition!

your friends had come to you, eager smiles and mischievous thoughts as the exclaimed that the legendary "Aizawa" would only present himself on the days leading up to Halloween and you had to do the ritual.

"are you sure?" you feel anxiety thrumming in your neck as you stared at the supposed picture of the Incubus... he was pretty attractive.

huge muscles with wispy hair that gave him such a manly aura, horns that stuck like mountains out his head and black hair that was luscious in nature but you reckoned could wrap around you like snakes.

he shouldn't be hot, but he looks exactly your type and it's been a bit of a dry spell lately...

"yes, you just have to say it! he's totally your type right?" kimiko explains excitedly, sleepover pajamas pink and cute as she gets in your face, "you wanna fuck him right?"

embarrassment burns in your core as you sit in the middle facing the framed photo of Aizawa; clad in your own thigh-high socks. apparently he liked those, he sounded like a pervert to you.

"oh my god, just shut up so I can do the ritual!"

and then you shift anxiously before beginning to murmur, growing to a chant.

"my daemon Aizawa, i give myself up to you. I want you to devour me whole, and if I shall not please you..." your minds blanks and there's a helpful whisper from toga, "you may feed me to your beloved three-headed cat, insomnia."

and nothing happens.

"i told you it was stupid! it was never gonna work!"

sighs of disappointment ring out around the circle of girls, and none of you can hear the heavy steps of a daemon making his way through your apartment with tired eyes and donning an all-black outfit.

you're sleeping soundly, and you're still wearing his favorite outfit. normally, well, more like rarely; aizawa liked to feed these weak little mortals to his cat and call it a day.

dare he say it, you were too cute to be eaten. and so you awoke with a heavy feeling on your chest and slick dripping between your legs.

"you give yourself up for me? you're a dedicated one, huh? and i'm a pervert? that's a bit mean."

you can hardly breathe and you're not even sure you want to with the mass whose shoulder come out of your chest ghostly, "wha? wha's goin' on? are you...!"

and then he's rising, fog coming off him in billows of clouds that dose the room in a heavy haze. he's intoxicating, and you feel yourself mewl as he climbs out of your body and looks down at you.

you were right, hair as black as coals that could strangle you at any moment. but he doesn't kill you, he just grins.

"giving yourself up to me is a huge sacrifice."

"i didn't!"

"oh, but you did, my love. you did when you wore..." he snaps the band of your socks, "these. and when you said that chant of course. i was going to take your body the minute it happened."

his hand, cold and veiny wraps itself around your throat as his grin grows even wider, "and one more thing."

"daemon is too aged. call me daddy, and i'll make you cum so hard you'll think you're dead. okay?"

against your better judgement, you nod.

"good. now, let's see what's under these pretty panties hm?"

and you give yourself up wholly to him once again, you just hope he leaves your soul alone after he's done with you.

[albenyx]

Venti and Love

character — venti

warnings — grammatical errors, typos, not proofread, taylor swift references, reincarnation!au, modern!au, historical!au, canon!au

note — literally a super random early birthday (for aug. 14) post dedication to a venti stan friend, happy birthday lods.

— > playlist for more feels.

The whole thing started off simple, seven days with you, a week being your companion. It should've been simple, a platonic harmless idea to accompany you around as you wander mindlessly in this world full of lost souls.

It started off with your honesty, your laughter that he realized is the best sound. The melody he wishes to hear every single time. 

It was a bad idea, or so others say. Falling in love with someone, with you, but to Venti… he hears the words and yet all he had thought about was that you should be together.

Every smile is contagious, and when you shine so does he shine for you. 

“Don't be afraid, jump then fall.” He uttered to you the first confession. “Jump then fall into me.”

Fall, it was such a scary word, but if you were to fall, fall towards him and Venti promises to catch you ever time. No matter how many times you do so, he will be there to catch you. “I'm never gonna leave you.” He uttered during that night where doubts clouded your mind, when people had said things that bring you to your knees, he was there to catch you. 

Venti vows, he will be there when you need him, when you feel like crying, he is sure he will be there throughout the night holding you as he does so, until you smile.

In all honesty? During the first day, that first look, first meet. Venti admits, he couldn't keep his eyes off you. As if a spell was casted upon him, you have bewitched him, both body and soul. 

Was it unusual for a bard to fall in love?

Certainly not. But for Venti, it was different. He was known for his ballads, his music, he was not known to be the poet who had love. And yet he knew, from the first note he played, the first time his gaze landed on your figure. He knew he'd be breaking a lot of things, his rules, just to see you. 

But of course, he was no one special. He was no one special, just a wide-eyed bard who happens to be desperately in love with you.

And the moment you accepted him as yours, when you no longer rejected him snd his affections. Venti loved and continued on loving you. “You're pretty.” He whispered, “I'm a mess, Venti.” And you'd utter, but despite such words you stated to yourself, you were beautiful, enchanting nonetheless.

He admits, you were and are the best thing that's ever been his. 

The second time, when your gaze met, in a classroom, he was in a hurry. With walls of insincerity, shifting eyes around the hall and vacancy yet all of those observations of his vanished when he saw your face right after he opened the wrong room.

Your reincarnation was inside, your face was blue, as if waiting for something or someone. He saw a glimpse of how your eyes had whispered “Have we met?”, a sense of familiarity and yet at the same time, you were unfamiliar of who he was and what he was to you.

He admits, it was enchanting to meet you again, to reunite with you. And compared to the first life, this the first page this time, this wasn't where the story line ends. Although, he hopes, that as much as his thoughts echoed your name throughout the centuries without being by your side, he hopes that you weren't in love with anyone yet, waiting for anyone that wasn't him. (but if it made you smile, he wouldn't mind.)

Even though life makes love look hard, where the stakes are high and the water's rough, but with you, things were different. This love was yours.

It was the kind of love that you only find in one lifetime, the kind you don't put down. And somehow, Venti knew that you and him would've found each other.

In another life, you still would've turned his head even if you'd met.

Because he knows, through busy streets and busy lives, that interesting thing called fate would have you two meet, one way or another.

Even though in every lifetime, you two were or had to be hurt, wounded every single time you meet. It was nothing for Venti, it was viewed as a simple challenge, to him it was a way to prove he was worthy and deserving of your attention and affection.

And trust him when he says, when he accompanied you that day… He never saw you coming. He never expected to be able to be in a love where it is brave and wild, because love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right.

A worthwhile fight, in his opinion. 

He is in love.

Deeply, desperately with you. Without words needed to be stated, you can hear it in the silence. You could feel it on the way home and with the lights out. It was all true, Venti was in love with you, truly.

Even if your reputation wasn't the best in every lifetime, even if you had always been viewed to be the villain, he was always willing for you. Venti wants you. He likes you for you, whether you'd try to push him away and speak to him as if he had ever lied to you, it was a fact. 

A truth one cannot lie about.

And although people had been telling him not to rush, to wait until it was his turn to be noticed by the Gods, but it seems as though religion was rather in your lips, even if it's a false God, he'd still worship it with you, even if he was a God himself in his other lives; yet even with that fact, the high status he gets every lifetime which he tries so hard to distance himself from, where he always acted as though no one could ever leave him and hidden the thought that no one could ever stay. You always saw through his facade. And he saw through yours, in all the other ways others couldn't.

He was a companion, a best friend, a lover, all in one. In every life, he has played that role every single time, he has been by your side as promised in your first life, forever and always.

“Here.” He smiles, so out of the blue as you both sit in the cafe, waiting for your orders. “What's this?” “A paper ring.” One where he had quietly promised that the next time he gives you a ring, it'll be the real one.

Venti didn't have much to offer to you, that was a fact. He wasn't as rich as others are, he works as a musician, a florist, simple jobs every life, all he can currently offer is a ring he made with paper. He can only offer so much yet with the littlest things he does, Venti is unaware he slowly became the daylight through your dark nights. If you had once believed love would be black and white, with Venti by your side, it was Golden.

And he never failed to prove it, every single time the invisible string tied to him led him to you. 

No matter how long, he was yours and yours only, he was your man. No matter what storms you both have to go through, because long story short, in every lifetime you both survived. 

“Hello, my cecilia.” There he stood, in front with a gentle smile as he met you at the beach. The clock ticked and if you were close enough, you would hear one's heart beating quickly. “Hey…” You trail off, senses heightened for you weren't able to see as clearly as others were, so you managed to hear the quick beat.

“Your…?” Venti simply smiled as he approached you, yes. That was right, this time, in this life, it was he who died. And yet not even death could stop his heart from beating once again. 

The both of you were silent, only the sound of the waves can be heard and the smell of the ocean breeze. This scene felt like what they once saw on a screen, and the smile on Venti's face seemed like he won a contest and to hide it would be so dishonest.

And everything's fine, the feeling of being wanted felt like a dream and yet here it is, lifetimes passed and he chose you, over and over again. Every intention to become friends become a glitch, suddenly, he doesn't want to be friends, he doesn't want you like a bestfriend.

And that was fine, because either way, you both weren't just bound to become best friends or just friends. You were made for each other, in every way possible, and Venti standing here in front of you proves just that.

Every second that passes, every chance he slowly realizes, he did not fall in love, but he simply walked into it, with you.

“Happy birthday, my dear.”

[fictionkinfessions]

what a wild experience it is to be relatively young while also having a large number of past lives constantly popping up in my memory.

i've been nonhuman more times than i know, but just like i suited myself then, humanity fits me perfectly now. i have more estranged family members than the combined amount of everyone i've met in this life, but still act awkward around my blood relatives because i haven't quite gotten confident in this new self yet. i've worked any imaginable number of jobs but my new first one still seems just as intimidating, at least socially. i've held unbelievable, unsustainable power and more times than not used it for good, for the sake of my people, but i feel guilty accepting simple help from my loved ones. every past and present social convention is more suggestion to me now, yet still i follow, knowing there's nothing worse than being above or below everything where the only part of you others can see is your shadow.

where i once was the pitch black void of destruction for my enemies, i'm now small and soft and doting, and the craziest part is, i was always both.

i cycle between feeling intimidated by/estranged to those older than me and thinking of people my age or older as kids. just like most anyone, they're rambunctious and unafraid and openly, adorably don't know what they're doing because, in their eyes, it's the beginning of their first time. i've done that, too, but remembering it from the perspective of beyond keeps me from experiencing it quite the same way again. the amount of times even before adulthood i have been referred to as an "old soul" is comical- i am old, so old that my highest desire is to teach, to care, to protect others whenever they need it, yet i'll never be too old to remain young in the ways that matter. every menial "coming of age" thing i have done and will go on to do i have done once, twice, a thousand times, but this time is not special in that it won't be when i stop getting excited. my brain prevents me from remembering it all, but if i've learned anything, it's that excitement and joy are all that remain when all else fades away. knowing this means every choice i make will not be a missed or seized opportunity, rather a dedication to love and life itself.

i've had the hard truths of existence carved into my mind over and over. i've been broken and reassembled and built up to tumble back again, yet each time i move on, the burning remnants become nothing more than a fuzzy afterimage that superimposes itself on my being, now entirely different in the exact same way. really, that's the beauty of it; a different body and mind with the same information will come to a different conclusion, even if similar. no set of hands can sculpt a lump of clay the exact same way twice. i am the clay and i am the hands and i am the eyes that gaze upon my self-creation in admiration, in a way some may wish to but cannot in quite as much depth. one day i will hold an entirely new form and choose a new, yet equally true, metaphor to describe the ways in which i've changed. and then, too, i will be young and grown, and grow up while remaining young, and love relentlessly, unconditionally. in this, i will never be alone.

collectively, i'd say my age outranks that of this universe itself. but just like it, i am still a kid, marvelling at the gift of life with bright eyes despite every wild possibility. beauty is within the love you create. so i say to you, another irreplicable creation within the crushing embrace of existence:

reread that cringe book you like, or replay that game that used to be your favorite as a kid, or pick up the hobby you've wanted to try that you know the people around you would think is lame. rant about the most seemingly meaningless things just because you wanna. be as spiritual or non-spiritual as you wish. embrace your various identities and interests with a whole heart, and if they change, let them. you change every day you exist, and you will never be precisely as you were or will be, which makes the you you are now infinitely valuable. if your people are too blinded by the biases of this world to make peace with the harmless things that bring you joy, find new people who can admire the story of each smudged fingerprint in your surface just as readily as every smooth curve and minute detail. whether it be through friendship, romance or family, let yourself be shaped by the influence of others in that irreplicable way you would never achieve on your own. stand on your business when you have to, act the way you feel, speak your mind. make mistakes and learn from them, and make them again, and learn something entirely new. take it from me: you will never run out of things to learn or to love, and that's the greatest gift of all. learn what you need and what you can, and most importantly of all, learn what you love so that you might have the time to love it for as long as possible. remember your time is limited, but acknowledge anything you do to fulfill yourself or something important/necessary to you is not a waste, despite how limited you may be. take whatever pace makes you comfortable, no matter what vindictive minds may insist, and live a life full of all the things you and your loved ones desire, so that no matter when the day comes that you move on, you will know it was worth it.

and, if you can, leave a positive impact on those you meet who could use your irreplicable influence. never force yourself to become beholden to another (just as any other shouldn't be to you) and uphold your personal safety before anyone else's, but if you have the chance to change something for the better, don't choose to let it go. if nothing else, you'll thank yourself for it, as will i. i know you're struggling, and you are trying, and i love you. i believe in you. as long as you always protect and value your own voice, you will live in the best way. never give up on that.

(p.s: also don't give up on your sleep schedule! i'm sitting in tumblr writing this at 4 am on a friday morning. when this is posted, chances are you will never know me or even want to, but remember those you do know and hold them fondly in your heart. and especially appreciate those who choose to work for the benefit of others, like mpc! (thank you for providing this space for people to share things they otherwise couldn't.))

to whoever you might be today, take it easy out there.

- a friend

x

[i-only-want-endless-happiness]

Since Riordan attended the Eras Tour let's talk about pjo swiftie characters (according to me ofc)

Annabeth= you can't convince she isn't a swiftie i know she is, but not many people know cause she thinks it's lowkey embarassing to be into Taylor, but she's totally a Speak now, 1989 stan she was screaming "Better than revenge" every day and every night when Rachel was into the picture, also she totally made Percy listen to "You are in love" cause it reminds her of them. Also also "New Romantics" is her anthem. She also loves "This is why we can't have nice things" cause it remindes her of Luke. I could actually go on forever but i'm gonna stop here now

Piper = duh of course she is, she is a Lover and Red girly, confused, romantic, hopeful in true love even after being hurt, she's on the "Paper Rings", "Me", "Lover" the song, "The Man" "I think he knows" ecc side of Lover and on the "The moment i knew", "Begin again", "Everything has changed", "The lucky one" "Stay,stay,stay" side of Red

Frank= i know in my heart, soul and mind he's a swiftie too, he actually takes Hazel to Taylor's concerts and randomly sends her Taylor's songs that reminds him of Hazel, he's the kind of guy who proposes during "Love story" cause lowkey is an hopless romantic. He was screaming crying every liryc of "You belong with me" at night in the Argo II when he thought Leo had a thing for Hazel. He gifted Midnights to Hazel cause the album is so her according to him. To me he is a Speak now girlie

Will= he's one of the biggest swifties at chb, there's literally nothing you can say to convince me otherwise. He's into her country albums more but actually lover all of her music, Taylor is his comfort singer (besides his mom of course) he's a Fearless girly and listens to "Fearless" the song, during long operations cause it helps him, "Hey Stephen" makes him think of Nico as well as "New year's day" cause he's a simp and "Dancing with our hands tied" cause that's literally his pov in Tartarus,idc, and of course "The best day" makes him think of his mom. "Change" and "Jump then fall" are some of his favorite Taylor's songs ever. I know my boy cries to "Mirrorball" and "This is me trying". You can't tell me he didn't sing "Our song" to Nico at least once

Percy,Hazel and Nico are Taylor enthusiasts, not quite fans but their s.o introduced them to her so now they appreciate Taylor too

Percy= he's a 1989 girlie, he loves "Welcome to New York" and thinks "Bad blood" is one of her best songs ever. After Annabeth made him listen to "YAIL" he fell in love wih it and it's now their song, he screams to "Haunted" when he feels disappointed by his father or by the Gods in general. He loves "The great war" too cause it reminds him of Annabeth as well as "Mine". And he loves "Long live" cause it just fits him and his story

Hazel= she's into Midnights (not only cause Frank gifted it to her, even tho that definetly made the album gain some extra points) "Bejeweled" and "Karma" are some of her favorite songs of the whole album but she cried the first time she listened to "You're on your own kid" so it has a special place on her heart. She dedicated "Lavander Haze" and "Sweet nothings" to Frank and it made him a bit emotional. Also she loves "Paris" cause she has taste. She absolutely adores "The outside" and the Debut album in general

Nico= i know what you're thinking hes a Reputation supporter but i actually see him more as a Folklore/Evermore girlie and a Lover one too, unlike Piper he's more on "The archer", "Cruel summer", "It's nice to have a friend" and "Soon you'll get better" side of Lover cause u know my boy is a little bit of a mess, and of course he loves "Daylight", "Cornelia street" (actually this song is his religion we know he has low self esteem) and "Aterglow" cause they make him think of Will. He thinks "No body, no crime" is probably Taylor best dark bop and obviously he loves "Gold rush" but i think he relates it back to his old crush on Percy, "Evermore" the song, is one of his favorite on the whole album, as well as "Long story short". I know Nico secretely cries to "Tolerate it". He dedicated "Invisible string" to Will (actually if you read TSATS without being a fucking hater, you'll know this is lowkey, very lowkey tho, canon) he loves "Peace" and "The Lakes" cause he relates to them deeply. I still think he loves Rep too like "Look what you made me do" it's totally his jam "I did something bad" is his go to song when he wants to be in a good mood and of course "Gorgeous"and "Delicate" cause he's secretely a romantic and down bad for his boyfriend.

If you don't know Taylor this won't make sense but if you have time and want new music give those songs a go, cause they're really good trust me u will not regret it

Just few lyrics to some of the songs to let u know what i'm talking about

BETTER THAN REVENGE= The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and, I had it all I had him right there where I wanted him she came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause she took him faster than you could say sabotage

YAIL= One night he wakes strange look on his face pauses, then says you're my best friend and you knew what it was he is in love

NEW ROMANTICS= We're so young but we're on the road to ruin we play dumb but we know exactly what we're doing we cry tears of mascara in the bathroom honey, life is just a classroom

TIWWCHNT= It was so nice being friends again there I was giving you a second chance but you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand

THE MAN= I'm so sick of running as fast as I can wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man and I'm so sick of them coming at me again cause if I was a man then I'd be the man

TLO= And they tell you that you're lucky, but you're so confused cause you don't feel pretty, you just feel used

YBWM= I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night i'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry and I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams think I know where you belong think I know it's with me

FEARLESS= And I don't know how it gets better than this you take my hand and drag me head first fearless and I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress

HEY STEPHEN= Hey Stephen, i know looks can be deceiving but i know i saw a light in you [...] cause i can't help it if you look like an angel can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so come feel this magic i've been feeling since I met you

DWOHT= I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us so, baby, can we dance through an avalanche? And say, say that we got it i'm a mess, but i'm the mess that you wanted

MIRRORBALL= I'm still a believer but I don't know why i've never been a natural all I do is try, try, try

TIMT= They told me all of my cages were mental so I got wasted like all my potential and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad i have a lot of regrets about that i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here

Bad Blood= Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve 'em you made a really deep cut and baby, now we got bad blood

TGW= We can plant a memory garden say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair there's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair and we will never go back to that bloodshed, crimson clover the worst was over my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

BEJEWELED= Best believe I'm still bejeweled when I walk in the room i can still make the whole place shimmer

KARMA= Ask me what I learned from all those years ask me what I earned from all those tears ask me why so many fade, but I'm still here

YOYOK= Everything you lose is a step you take so make the friendship bracelets take the moment and taste it you've got no reason to be afraid you're on your own, kid yeah, you can face this you're on your own, kid you always have been

THE OUTSIDE= I've been a lot of lonely places i've never been on the outside

THE ARCHER= Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? Dark side, I search for your dark side but what if I'm alright, right, right, right here? And I cut off my nose just to spite my face then I hate my reflection for years and years

CORNELIA STREET= And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends id never walk Cornelia Street again that's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

AFTERGLOW= I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue put you in jail for something you didn't do i pinned your hands behind your back, thought I had reason to attack, but no [...] Sorry that I hurt you i don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you i don't wanna lose, i don't wanna lose this with you

TOLERATE IT= I wait by the door like I'm just a kid use my best colors for your portrait lay the table with the fancy shit and watch you tolerate it if it's all in my head tell me now tell me I've got it wrong somehow i know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it

INVISIBLE STRING= Time, mystical time cutting me open, then healing me fine were there clues I didn't see? And isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me

PEACE= All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret the devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

LWYMMD= But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time i got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined

[stvlti]

the last of the (false) prophets | a Dune fanmix

I've made the general Dune Part II mixtape and I've made the ironic FeydPaul mixtape, it's time for a Paul-centric playlist. This one is also made in the context of Part II because that film has bewitched me mind, body and soul 😔

► TRACKS

01. Eat the Acid - Kesha /// 02. Brutus - Emma Blackery /// 03. THE REV3NGE - Joey Bada$$ /// 04. Burning - Yeah Yeah Yeahs /// 05. Found Heaven - Conan Gray /// 06. Only in My Dreams - The Marías /// 07. Jesus Lived In A Motel Room - HYUKOH /// 08. Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Parts I–V) - Pink Floyd /// 09. Writer In The Dark - Lorde /// to be continued...

► META

I think the song choices are pretty self explanatory, so I'm not gonna write a big long song-by-song breakdown this time. I do have some notes on the choice of cover artwork and the pov of this playlist though.

If it isn't apparent by now, Paul isn't my fave character in Dune canon – Feyd-Rautha is. So why am I making a playlist dedicated to a character I don't even love?

In my years of consuming and creating art for my fandoms, I don't think I've ever come across a morally grey character that's half as complex and intriguing as Paul. Sure, I'm familiar with corruption arcs and self-styled messianic figures (Light Yagami from Death Note comes to mind). I've written for and continue to love characters who underwent cataclysmic deaths and resurrections, and came back wrong (see: Jason Todd from DC/Batman). And sure, Paul's character arc can similarly be boiled down to these familiar story beats of resurrection and corruption, but he's no angel at the start of his journey. He's aware of the trajectory of his story in ways these other characters aren't by virtue of being a seer of prescient visions. To walk clear-sightedly into his own ruination is such a fascinating thing to me.

The other major difference between the playlist cover and the Fool's tarot card design is how much smaller Paul's figure is in the composition of the whole image. The desert background easily dwarves his figure, which is something I've always loved about the IMAX poster. Despite all his visions of futures where he ascends to the mantle of a messianic leader, he is still just, at this moment in the canon timeline, a child. Small, and all alone in his journey. Not even his mother Lady Jessica would come to understand the weight of the transformation he will undergo.

Those familiar with the Major Arcana suit of the tarot cards will know the significance of The Fool: he is at the start of his journey, appearing to walk leftwards off a cliff with an optimistic smile because he's as yet unburdened by higher knowledge of lurking dangers. Like The Fool, I have Paul facing leftwards on this cover (flipped horizontally from the original Dune 2021 IMAX poster), because he too is embarking on a transformative journey when he enters the Arrakis deserts. The difference is, of course, that he becomes aware of his terrible destiny as a messianic figurehead for a holy war as soon as he sets off for this journey. And so it isn't with carefree optimism but the knowledge of his ruin hanging heavily on his shoulders that he takes his first steps into the desert.

Many of the songs on this playlist were ones that didn't make the cut for my general Dune playlist. But as I went along I realised it's grown into a love letter for Paul's character from the perspective of a sympathetic reader. "Found Heaven" and "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" only make sense as monologues addressed to Paul.

Your heart is breaking as you leave that door

You never meant to start this holy war

But you're trapped, pack your bags

Don't look back

Don't be scared, little child

You're no demon

Rewatching Dune Part I really brought it home for me just how much of a child Paul still is when he enters the Fremen's deserts. He is frightened out of his mind by the knowledge that he will come to be the figurehead for whom millions will wage a holy war to the devastation of entire planets and deaths of billions, and it's a burden for him to bear alone. Did anyone ever stop to tell him not to fear?

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun ...

Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky ...

You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,

Blown on the steel breeze ...

Come on you raver, you seer of visions,

Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

If I'm not mistaken, "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" was written for Pink Floyd's own Syd Barrett, a genius lyricist whose declining mental health forced him to quit the scene too soon. Obvious parallels to Paul's madness aside, I like the metaphor this adds to Paul as not only a prophet but a painter / artist – which he is to an extent. He is an architect shaping the world into a future only he sees. The tragedy is of course that visionary artists often go where their lovers can't follow.

Now she's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart

Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark

I am my mother's child, I'll love you 'til my breathing stops

I'll love you 'til you call the cops on me

But in our darkest hours, I stumbled on a secret power

I'll find a way to be without you, babe

[myhyperfixatedmess]

Unrequited Devotion.

This is just a short little thing leaning into the idea that since Tom is incapable of love he sees the reader as more of a trophy/just likes the idea of someone being utterly devoted to him.

Why did you choose to love a man who seemed incapable of returning such fragile feelings?

"I love you, Tom," you would whisper, pouring your whole heart into the words.

Tom Marvolo Riddle—the man your heart had dedicated itself to for years. Despite having given him everything you had, all you received in return were broken pieces. Tom remained an enigma, something you could never have foreseen when you decided to entangle yourself deeply in his carefully spun web. His unpredictability only seemed to add to the allure, captivating your attention despite your differences.

"I know," he would say, never the words you so desperately wanted to hear. Yet, you were naive, perhaps even foolish as you kept hoping that he did love you back. Even if he couldn't express it.

With your whole being—your soul, mind, and body—you loved him unconditionally, willing to give him everything. And he would allow you too, even without reciprocating the depth of your feelings.

[pollenallergie]

so i was watching say yes to the dress w/ my family and now my brain is melting thinking about billy and your wedding 🥺 he would be so excited to propose, and even though he couldn’t get you an extravagant ring, he would save enough to get something dainty from a local jeweler and present it to you on a nice evening walk. of course you’d say yes to him, and even though he’d let you take the lead with the planning, he would accompany you to each meeting (except for the dress fitting of course). the wedding would be v intimate with less than 30 people, maybe in a garden or a small barn. he would go through extra measures to make sure his hair looks nice and his suit fits him well (at least moreso than his usual baggy clothing). he would be so nervous that his ticks would get much more prominent, but all of his anxiety about the day would fade when he saw you in your dress. your hair and makeup highlighted your features when they caught the light, and the dress accentuated your figure perfectly. he cries when you exchange your rings and vows, and your whole bodies light up when you share your wedding kiss. the reception is a quaint luncheon with many a sentimental toast from your nearest and dearest, and your first dance reminds you of why you fell in love with him but also his growth (he almost trips you with his two left feet, but catches you and strokes your hair as he giggles and apologizes). your flight to your honeymoon is the next morning, so you plan to stay the night at your home, but that won’t stop billy from lifting you up and carrying you over the threshold, kissing up and down your neck and grinding against you as he helps you get out of your dress. usually you’d take the time to really tease him and maybe suck him off before jumping to actual sex, but you practically rip his clothes off his body and spin him around so he’s on top of you, guiding his gorgeous cock to your entrance and begging him to breed you so you can make him a daddy. the night is spent with him filling you up time and time again, whimpering out i love yous and dreams for the future. god i just need him so bad! also, i have many more thots including general nsfw headcanons (like what he’s packing) and thoughts about domestic living with him (like adopting a dog with him, what he’d be like as a dad, cooking dinner with him, etc) so lemme know if you want to humor me with those! -🍊

the way that every single word of this is absolutely correct 😭😭 i need him!! i want one!! where can i get my own billy in real life??? do i have to like… find a recipe somewhere and bake him with a lil witchy magic or… sell my soul to satan himself… or is the precious, handsome man available for purchase somewhere??? 💖💖

honestly, you’re right, that sweet lil puppy would be so excited to propose. and, no, he wouldn’t have the money to buy you some extravagant ring… BUT, i’ve said it before and i’ll continue saying it until my fucking thumbs fall off from typing it so much:

billy does something 1000x better than buying you some super expensive ring… he takes jewlery making classes at the local community centre so that he can make you your dream engagement ring with his own two lovely (and very talented 😏) hands. why? because that man is dedicated to you, mind, body, and soul, and he enjoys making you nice things!!! and spoiling you!! and making you cry happy tears/tears of joy while you flash him that brilliant, lovely smile of yours! oh my godddd he’s so fucking in love with you, like it’s almost gross how lovey dovey he is… or at least it would be gross if you weren’t just as in love with him.

the image of billy in nice suit with his hair all done up, crying tears of wonder and joy as he sees you walking down the aisle… yeah, yeahhhh, that’ll do it 😭😭😭😭

definitely sobs during your vows but honestly like… your definitely crying too because you’re both just hopeless romantic lil goobers who somehow managed to find solace and safety and comfort and love in each other amongst all the harshness and noise of the world around you.

awww dancing with my snuggly sweet billygoat *sniffles* that’s the dream 💖💖 personally, i think billy would request that you two dance to some classic love song, something that’s probably a lil cheesy because well… you’re both a lil cheesy, let’s be real. the kind of love you two have is that wholesome, ooey gooey, cheesy kind of love. sure, it has its fair share of ups and downs, but you that soft, fluffy love never fades. it’s not the love you’ll hear about in fairytales, it’s more realistic than that, but it’s still lovely and wonderful and sweet all the same. he’s not your prince charming, no, that implies some sort of level of perfection that no one could ever possibly reach and that, frankly, you’d never even try to ask him to reach. no, he’s just… he’s your billy. he’s himself and he’s in love with you and he’s just as much yours as you are his (which is to say completely and forevermore), and that’s all you could ever want in a man because, honestly, billy knight is amazing and the way he loves is amazing too. 💖💖

and OH MY GODDDD he’d be so needy as soon as the two of you got in the car to leave the reception. if it weren’t for the sake of the kind driver your friends hired so you two wouldn’t have to actually drive yourselves home on your wedding night, he would’ve very carefully taken that dress off of you (because it’s beautiful and you look like a goddess in it and he wants to save it forever and ask you to wear again in a year so he can marry you all over again because dear god this is the best day of his life and he wants to relieve it as much as possible because it’s just so magnificent and wonderful) and fucked you right in the backseat of the car. but he endeavored to be patient… simply for the sake of Paul, your nice, friendly driver who deserves to not be traumatized by the image of two complete strangers going at it like rabbits in the back seat of his fancy car. however, the minute you two gross the threshold of your front door, it’s fair game and billy’s on you the minute he sets you down (probably before he even sets you down tbh).

also the way that he would definitely moan out the words “yeah, that’s it. make me a daddy, petal. fuck, make me cum, baby. gonna make me a daddy, right, love?” while you ride him within an inch of his life… yeah… that.

definitely wakes up and starts kissing your belly in the morning as if your baby is already in there. probably (definitely) says hello to the little clump of cells too. he’s like “daddy can’t wait to meet you, little one.” and you’re like, “bill… we don’t even know if i’m pregnant yet, slow your roll.” but nahhh billy knows, in his heart of hearts, billy knows that his baby is right there, safe and sound in their mama’s womb, growing and growing, just waiting til the day that they get to meet their daddy.

… does that mean he stops fucking you full of his cum? no, no it does not. better to be safe than sorry, right? if the little goober isn’t in there yet, they sure will be by the time your honeymoon is over, billy’s making sure of it.

also pleaseee i beg, i plead gimme moreeeee you kind, lovely, beautiful, generous anon. the chokehold that your asks have on me… babe, its unwavering like i’m HOOKED. i, and i don’t mean this lightly, am so fucking grateful for you 💖💖

[girl4music]

WAVERLY: “We’re really worried about you. You’re hunting all the time. You’re not really sleeping.”

WYNONNA: “I’m totally sleeping.”

NICOLE: “No, you’re passing out. That’s not the same thing.”

WAVERLY: “You’re isolating yourself.”

WYNONNA: “No. I’m hunting alone. So until a new Chosen One rolls into town,

*directed at Rachel who’s watching from the stairs*

who’s old enough to drink…”

WAVERLY: “Wynonna! You’re… so… you seem so-“

WYNONNA: “Dedicated to keeping my friends and family safe?”

WAVERLY: “Really sad. And lonely.”

WYNONNA: “Well, we don’t all have the luxury of happily ever after.”

WAVERLY: “Doc loves you.”

WYNONNA: “Shut up.”

*moves to grab Peacemaker but Waverly covers her hands over it*

WAVERLY: “And so do we.”

WYNONNA: “Just keep the stupid gun.”

*walks off out of the house and Waverly runs after her*

NICOLE:

*tries to get her attention*

“Hey, babe.”

WAVERLY:

*outside the house*

“Wynonna, stop! Please!”

WYNONNA: “You want me to admit I have a problem?! Okay, well, here’s my problem, it’s a big one. Uh, if I stop killing demons, everyone I love, like you, gets eaten.”

WAVERLY: “Or maybe that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, Wynonna. Because you like it! A little too much.”

WYNONNA: “I don’t hear anyone else complaining about being too not dead because I’ve taken out too many demons.”

WAVERLY: “What about Holt? He was human.”

WYNONNA: “Why is it that when you kill a Clanton, it’s the right thing to do, but when I do it, it’s a problem?”

WAVERLY: “You know, I really thought we’d have a couple more years before your transition from fun drunk to mean alcoholic.”

WYNONNA: “Have fun planning your wedding, you sanctimonious asshole.”

WAVERLY:

*walks back into the house crying and into Nicole’s arms*

NICOLE: “Hey. Once she’s done being defensive, she’s gonna realize you’re right.”

WAVERLY: “Am I? I’m not judging her. I’m just trying not to lose her.”

NICOLE: “Hey.

*hugs her tight and kisses her head*

You want me to stay?”

WAVERLY: “No. You gotta go.”

Finally! We’re dealing with Wynonna’s inner conflict with believing that she needs to shut off the world and kill everything that threatens it. This episode must be her breaking point. This was what I was waiting for after the whole killing Holt situation and Doc left her.

Let’s see them try to make this one into a comedy. Something like this should only be dealt with in drama. I hope they handle this narrative seriously. It looks like they will from the intervention opening but you just never know. There may be some tonal shifts.

This is the narrative I wanted for Buffy Summers. They touched on it but they never went all out with it. They never made it clear how much of a demon she was becoming from having to constantly kill the demons. What that was doing to her mind, body and soul. How much of a price that she was paying to be The Hand.

I wanted a proper narrative undertaking for Buffy like Wynonna seems to be getting in this episode that showed that being a hero doesn’t always require being a killer. Whether it’s of the evil supernatural or not. And in the last season they should have done this since they made it canon that she was made from a demon and therefore her instincts were just the same. But they didn’t do that. They didn’t play morally grey. And it’s part of the reason why I just lost all interest.

See it’s been bubbling under the surface all throughout the show but Wynonna’s inner conflict was that she was afraid that she was a killer - a murderer for killing demons or human bad guys. In this season especially, she’s resigned herself to that objective because she doesn’t have a partner in crime with it anymore. There’s no Clyde to her Bonnie basically. And it’s tearing her apart that she cannot connect with someone that literally sold his soul to a demon because he is not okay with what she’s become from having such a defensive attitude towards the problem.

And everybody’s worried about her because she doesn’t communicate how she’s really feeling. What she’s really struggling with inside that’s eating her up. And something like that is one hell of a narrative to not only explore thoroughly, but also conclude and close.

And I am SO HERE FOR IT! I’m more here for this narrative than WayHaught’s because I already know I’m going to get that anyway. More focus on the lead main character at this point in the show is imperative. And I know Season 4 has been more comedy than drama. But there’s always time to change that around. You know it’s not always an equal amount of either in genre shows. Sometimes it’s just on a spectrum depending on what story it is that they’re telling. Which means the vibe and tone always serves the narrative and characters. Not the other way around.

It’s the reason I cannot watch either pure drama or pure comedy. I have to have that balance when it comes to TV art/enterainment. The grey area. And genre shows - particularly supernatural/fantasy - always have that balance. Even if it’s not equal.

But yeah, Buffy would have certainly been a much more interesting character to me than she was if they had went all the way with the “am I a killer?” subject. Like I said - they touched on it. Quite a few times actually. But they don’t make it into a proper arc where she had a breakdown and her team have to come in to help to save her from destroying herself.

Being a hero is fucking hard. Especially when chosen. When you never wanted to be the world’s protector in the first place but you find it’s who you are anyway. You’re eventually going to face up to the price of it. The loss and the grief. But most of all the evolution. And an evolution includes all the highs and lows. The downfalls, the sacrifices, the depression, the loneliness. All of it. You can’t have a true character development without it all. And the thing is Buffy has all of that. Sometimes more than I bear to watch. But the one thing they skip out of truly exploring is - to me - the most important subject that there is to address.

Which is if you’re a fighter - if you have protect and defend through violence - does it make you a killer?

And if you’re a hero - are you okay with not being one and letting somebody else take the reins - including all the pitfalls and burdens you’ve had to bear and overcome. Can you allow yourself to give up heroism?

All of that needed to be addressed with Buffy in the final season. And the way they choose to do it. To wrap up the sap up - is the most insane, nonsensical, confusing, frustrating extremely lazy way ever by her entire team throwing her out of the fucking house and then letting her back in when they realize they’re wrong and they need her and some other character has to be the one to make them face their mistake.

Exploring the extremely strong and substantial subject I’m talking about here is what would have avoided all that ridiculous mess because the take-away from it would have been that there is a necessity to heroism but it comes at the price of being a killer or at least fearing that you are or will become a killer.

So I hope - I fucking hope - that they will do this with Wynonna. Have her face up to her actions and choices because her humanity will not let her just ignore them. Only a demon that feels absolutely nothing would. And that’s not Wynonna. She is such an emotional person when she lets herself be. When she doesn’t block it out. She’s like Faith. The need to shield vulnerability because she fears that letting love in will destroy her. When love and all that love entails is what she needs.

[septembersghost]

I want Austin to win so badly which isn't only bias, he gave EVERYTHING to honoring Elvis and he more than earned it. I really like Brendan but have you read Roxane Gay's op-ed on The Whale?

i knew there was controversy about that, but had not seen anything in-depth, reading her piece (and i have such respect for her) is...distressing. she makes it clear her issue is not with brendon (whom we adore!) nor the objective quality of his performance, but rather with the cruelty she felt in the film itself. here's the link but warning that she is honest and what she discusses could be triggering.

regarding our beloved aus, tbh this now makes me want to share this publicly because it gets to the beating heart of the whole thing: what austin achieved was the result of constant preparation, months and months of research, dedicating a couple of years of his life solely to understanding and embodying someone to his spiritual and cellular level. it's not some paper-thin impersonation - something el has been subjected repeatedly, being turned into a costume or a parody unfairly. he gave body, mind, and soul to the film. (this is also why the banal comments about his voice make me rage, because not only are they patently untrue - have any of those people listened to elvis speak? - but it reduces his craft down into a joke when it is anything but. and austin's sincerity and openness is beautiful.) austin approached him so wholly and so kindly, which was imperative to make it work. i just quote conversations with chelsea all the time, but i sent that to her and she put this so well: "the part of that video that really touched me was that the people who knew him didn't see austin, they saw their friend. and how he dove into WHY elvis had certain physical movements, so they come from an authentic feeling. it is such a blessing to have given that to them, to give elvis back to his family, and then to reintroduce him to the world in a way that they can be proud of. it really was a steeper hill to climb than most acting roles ever are just because of how high the expectations are. and then to meet and exceed them." if this were a fictional story, it would be hard to believe it, but it was elvis' life. austin's tremendous connection there, and speaking about using his fear as a compass and seeing through his eyes - it IS a radical experience, as that video says. it is an incredible gift to have taken this man who's been so misrepresented on one hand and so idolized on the other, and bring the essence of him back to life, return him to the world in a sense, and cause audiences to be changed by the feeling it gives them and the love they find there. i have screenshots saved of tweets and comments from people i don't even know talking about what it means to them, what e means to them, because it touches me so deeply. is that not the whole point of taking such a journey? to find something so humanistic and so transformative? to reveal some profound sense of connection and love? there's so much i want to write and say about the film and i've just kept a lot of it to myself or said it to close friends, but what i kept thinking about today is when the switch flips at the end, and we're suddenly with elvis, not merely his image, but the plea and voice and words and heart of him, saying i need your love, i'll be comin' home, wait for me, every dream i've ever had has come true a hundred times, i keep singing a song...and how everything that went before is this love letter to him, infused with the passion and purpose of who he was, and how breathlessly they pulled that off. this project couldn't have existed without austin, and nothing can convince me that somehow elvis' spirit wasn't guiding him to that, not only for him, but for everyone who has been affected by it and will carry that with them. he deserves every award and every bit of praise he's been given, but it also has more lasting meaning than that. no matter what happens, we are going to remember that, we are going to take it with us. and that's what makes a performance live on, and a story, and a person. out there in the dark, there's a beckoning candle. we're keepers of that light.

[carewyncromwell]

#4 and #6 of affectionate things between Carion, please?

4) holding hands!! (Carion)

The very first time Orion ever held Carewyn's hand was after the dramatic Quidditch Cup Final between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. Carewyn had initiated it to offer comfort -- it was a platonic gesture, and nothing more. And yet, at the time, it had filled Orion with strange emotions, both because he was so unused to physical affection and because he'd just seen with his own eyes that Carewyn shared his Patronus. When he returned the gesture and tried to hold her hand, she fortunately didn't pull away -- and Orion found himself holding her hand for almost fifteen whole minutes afterward.

Whatever their Patronus forms might hint, he didn't think he could say definitely that he loved Carewyn. But he did really...really like holding her hand.

It made it so that when they met up again after the War, Orion felt more comfortable with taking Carewyn's hand or shoulder, even just platonically. She'd already broached that sea with him, so it was likely she wouldn't mind it too much, Orion reasoned. Even if by that time, he already knew he'd fallen in love, he could keep things platonic between them. He wouldn't pressure her to see things as he did.

And romantic or not...he did really like holding her hand. He liked feeling like he could comfort her -- help her find balance...when it felt like all she ever did was care about others and neglect herself.

When Orion and Carewyn finally did make their feelings known to each other in December, other methods of expressing affection were broached. Carewyn held Orion's wrist for the first time. She touched his face for the first time. She kissed him...and he, his heart racing, kissed her back. And each one of those things were things Orion enjoyed just as much as holding her hand did. He liked the connection it forged between them -- the open, warm, dedicated bond that now connected them, body and soul. It prompted him to experiment more -- trailing a hand through her hair; resting his head on her shoulder; kissing her on the cheek, forehead, nose, and neck.

And yet out of all of them, the gesture Orion still enjoyed most was holding her hand. With it being romantic, he could hold it differently than before -- run his thumb along the base of hers; enlace their fingers...even hold her hand in both of his, placing kisses to the back of it. Anything to bring that soft, relieved smile back to her face when tension had creased her brow.

Orion wanted to give Carewyn peace. More than anything in the world, he wanted this person who seemed to always have to play the hero, ready to fight for others, to be able to lay down her armor, take that breath she seemed to always be holding, and just be. To be happy -- be content...be herself, at his side, smiling and free. For nothing more was truly needed, in Orion's eyes.

And a simple handhold could communicate all of that, and more.

"You've been holding my hand for a long while now."

"You've been holding a heavy weight for far longer. ...I realize you must shoulder the burden of duty when you are at work...but please, do not strain yourself, trying to play Atlas. The whole world is not yours alone to fix...and you needn't carry the weight of it by yourself."

"...Orion..."

"Yes, my Abraxan?"

"...Thank you."

(6 under the cut!)

6) when they're so patient and understanding with you (Carion)

referencing Roxanni Kim @mira-shard 💙

Orion had always been a free spirit. It was one of the things that had made it difficult for him to make friends as a young child, and even at school, it made it so that the vast majority of the student population just didn't get him. Once he'd become Slytherin Quidditch Captain, people just kind of saw the mystery of him as part of why he was so cool, and that attitude persisted once he was an adult and become the toned Star Chaser of the Montrose Magpies...but that still didn't mean he wasn't a bit eccentric, nor that it was always easy to figure out what he was saying.

One of the few people who became very fluent in "Orionisms," however, was Carewyn. She was probably the one who clued into his way of thinking the fastest of anyone else he'd ever met, in part thanks to her Legilimency potential, but also due to her intense empathy and their oddly similar thought processes, despite the differences in their personalities.

Perhaps it was for this reason that whenever Orion would get too stuck in his own head when trying to express himself, Carewyn would almost always be the one to translate.

"Orion thinks if you like Roxy that much, you should tell her how you feel," Carewyn told her ward patiently.

Erik didn't just roll his eyes: he practically threw them up toward the ceiling, with how impatient and flabbergasted his face looked as he whirled on Orion.

"For fuck's sake -- " he muttered irritably, slapping his hand over his forehead and eyes, before he blared out, " -- how in the bloody hell does that relate to an ashwinder?!"

"My metaphor may or may not have gotten away from me," Orion said serenely. "But it seems to have eluded you completely. Thank you, my Abraxan -- you are a most wonderful compass, on this sea of self-discovery."

Carewyn leaned in to brush his uneven hair out of his face so she could kiss his jawline. "Glad I could help, Captain."

Affectionate Prompts!

[mizumiii]

Hiraeth - Part VI

Donan x Fem!Reader

Previous part - Table of contents 

HIRAETH, n. (Welsh) A spiritual longing for a home which maybe never was. Nostalgia for ancient places to which we cannot return. The echo of the lost places of our soul’s past and our grief for them. In the wind, rocks, and waves, it is nowhere and everywhere.

Good evening ! Here I am with the last part. It's not exactly how I wanted it to be but I need to put an end to this story so I can move/write forward. Maybe I'll change it later, after finishing my second run or playing the DLC to come. Anyway, I have to surprise for you : a smut and a little OS I will post just after finishing with this one !

The next morning you woke up more at peace than you had been for what looked like years. For a moment you were back at the Firebreak Manor, awakening from Donan’s movements at your sides, trying to hide that he was already up; the distant sounds of the servants roaming softly… You left your mind lie to you with a melancholic smile. 

“Did I wake you?” Donan inquired when he noticed your eyes opened. 

“Not really… I’m feeling so rested, it’s almost strange”, you scoffed.

You turned your head to admire his face, still, a bit softened by his sleep. He was still holding you close, making it harder for you to move, not that you would complain. 

It was the most intimate you had been for weeks now, and you could not help your mind to wander. Your eyes were staring at his large, appealing lips. However, you restrained yourself from acting on your impulses. As you were trying to turn your head away, your mouth was met with his. That time you could not break away, your whole body relaxed, enjoying the simple but so rare pleasure. Except it did not stop there. Donan made you roll on your back, making you feel small under his large body. Your fingers avidly fiddled on his shirt as your lips shivered on an unvoiced question. You wanted to be sure he was okay, but you were also afraid to waste the moment you were sharing. 

The Horadrim was admiring your body with a flickering beat in his chest. How lucky was he to have you close to him after all his mistakes? He had spent so much time questioning everything, refusing even the tiniest bit of joy in front of all his faults, despite it all, he was now realising how little time he had left with you. And he was determined to enjoy it to the fullest.

“Do not fret”, he whispered against your lips to ease their agitation. “Let’s revel in every opportunity we are given…”

His warm, raspy voice was enough to make your legs squeeze, however, he did not let you have the time to adapt to it. He started by undressing you while kissing every bit of your body, putting it on a delicious fire, while you were trying to do pretty much the same. You were just overwhelmed with all his skin, taking large handles of him, putting your mark everywhere, claiming him as yours. His hoarse scoff echoed your leisured sighs.  

Once you were totally naked, Donan skillfully bent between your legs and before you could react, you sensed his tongue caressing your clit. The jolt almost made you scream, to his total satisfaction. Seeing how you were jerking and moaning, he dedicated all his attention to your vulva, even sliding two fingers inside to send you over the edge. At this point, you could no longer tell the up from the down, as you were only gasping for air between two tortured whines. Your climax was closer and closer, but Donan seemed to take great pleasure in making it last longer. Out of despair, you grabbed his shaved head, while starting to move your hips to force him to give you what you wanted.

"Donan! P-Please… Aah!"

Mesmerised by your obscene sounds, the Horadrim finally focused on your clit for good, even probing it from inside. In a matter of seconds, you were coming on his hand, breathing loudly with your face bright red. It was one thing to reach it while making love but this was leaving you in a far more deplorable state. Which Donan appreciated even more. He slowly licked his lips and fingers while you shamelessly looked at him through your fingers. He found your newfound bashfulness quite loving.

As he was standing on his knees, you noticed his half-hard cock, you swiftly sat down to take it in your mouth. His surprised and delighted grunt rewarded you. 

"Incredible…" He praised you as you skillfully made his member slide into the back of your mouth while your hands reached for every little spot that would earn you another groan. 

It had been so long since he had felt so good that Donan was already close to spilling in your beautiful mouth, not that the idea was not pleasant but he wanted to enjoy the moment a little longer. He grabbed your hair, fucking your mouth a couple of times with tortured moans before pulling you away.

"I want to fuck you properly", he grunted, breathing loudly.

"Please I want it too", you pleaded with your legs spread for him. 

He messily kissed you, sharing your juices, still keeping your hair in one hand. Then he forced you to turn your back and put your head on the ground. Like this, he had a great view of your ass and wet pussy just below. His cock twitched needily, a second later he was pushing mercilessly into it. Your previous orgasm made it easier, but you were no longer used to taking his large member. You whined out of pain and pleasure.

"You feel so good", Donan gasped as he basked inside your warmth. 

Next, he pressed on your head, the other hand sinking in your hips, allowing him to fuck you with a hard, dedicated pace.

"Your mine", he claimed between each trust, blabbing half-coherent assertions that made you mindlessly moan. 

The pain radiating from your hips was lightening the pleasure from your pussy, his perverted words were clenching your walls as you were reduced to a whimpering mess.

Donan used your hair to tilt your face, revealing your drilling mouth, your wide eyes full of lust, and your messy hair stuck by the sweat. He relished in that sight, craving for more. Then be bent over you, hardly reaching your lips to kiss them. 

"Say you like it", he ordered between them.

His hand had left your hair to reach your clit, making his threat clear as day. 

"I-I… D-Donan…" you stuttered, unable to speak clearly.

"Say-it", he ordered again, slamming his hips against yours. 

"I like being fucked by you Donan!" You screamed before the words changed in sound when his fingers reached your weakness making you squeal on the spot.

Once he was sure you had rid of your orgasm, he clenched his hands on your hips before humping you ravishingly, grunting and wheezing loudly.  He forced your body on him, using you as a satisfied weeping doll begging for more. Sweat was dripping from his dark skin, his large fingers were tearing blood, and his shining green eyes were devouring you alive. Despite his shaking body, he would not leave you out of his sight. He trusted strongly, once, twice, before filling you in a long, vicious movement. 

Donan and you transformed into a mess of sweat, juices, arms and legs, breathing loudly and hard, but the smiles were lighter. 

You pulled hard on the reins without even thinking about it. Brother half-pranced with an indignant cry, but you were already on the ground to rush to the cage. 

“What the fuck happened here?” You raged while grabbing the bars as if you could only break them with your hands.

“The cathedral of light…” 

The woman you had taken for a corpse on the ground weakly rose, her eyes were definitely dead as her mind had been broken by the body of his child lying without moving on the cage’s ground. 

“What of those assholes?” You growled.

Your patience was no longer to be found. You had given too much. You had been robbed too much. You were tired of being continuously stamped upon. 

“They said… a demon corrupted him…” she said with difficulty. 

A joyless laugh shook you as you covered your face with one hand. You had seen countless demons take possession of humans, man and children alike, except they would never, oh-never, let a body intact as this one. If it were to be put in a cell it would transform and kill everyone, including his host, rather than letting themselves be trapped. All those thoughts crossed your minds, leaving you with a terrible aftertaste. You stood there, your arms lying useless on each side of your body. Did humanity really deserve to be saved? Was there still even humanity to save? 

Suddenly, your fists violently clashed against the cage’s bars with a deafening sound. The pain sent you a bitter jolt in your body, and thankfully, it was enough to make you think clearly again. You did not know how, but that was not your thoughts. Not really. Yes, you were disgusted by some humans' behaviour; yes, you were burned out by all the pain you had to endure. But it was not your place to answer those kinds of questions. You took a deep breath, trying to cool down. You did not need any grand reason to try and kill Lilith, you had one goal: survive with the one you wanted to protect. 

At that moment, the poor woman, probably the mother of the dead child, fell on her back again. Neyrelle dismounted too and went to her to give her water, but she refused it, resolutely closing her mouth. You felt her last words as another stone to carry on your already heavy package, but this one you were more than ready to take it on. There would be a price to pay for those atrocities, and if nobody else dared to cross the Cathedral of Light, you would happily oblige.  

“We should press on”, Donan pointed out in a quiet voice, informing you that he had put his foot on the ground too.

Your hands came in fits upon hearing him. Painful tears threaten to rush through your ears. You did not hate him for saying that. You hated those monsters of the Cathedral for making him say them. 

“If we’re too late, other sons will die”, he added even quieter.

“I know…”

You turned back to put your forehead against his, in a soft, delicate way to signify to him how you were feeling. When you jumped back on the saddle, you promised yourself to come back to give that poor victim a proper burial. After that, you no longer stopped, even if the number of unfortunate prisoners did not diminish.  At your sides, Neyrelle and Donan were as silent as you were. It was painfully hard to ignore the people lamenting, and even harder to ignore that the culprits were not even the demons.

Mercilessly, the horses quickly reached Caldeum’s walls. That time, true demons welcomed the group. Strangely, it did not feel comforting at all. As you were carving a path of blood through the spawns of hell to reach Lorath, your heart felt only heavier. The only thing pushing you forward was the intense desire to put a final point to all that mess. To be able to go back to a peaceful life, wherever as long as it would be with Donan. To reach that ideal, you were ready to do anything and face anybody. 

“Donan you’ve come back to us, and not alone. Blessed be the light. The Father will deliver us together.” Prava nervously claimed when your group met with hers in the middle of the carnage. 

Unfortunately for her, your mood had not improved in the slightest, quite the contrary. While you half-listened to her preaching, unrest won your body all over. Your feet tapped nervously on the ground while you fiddled with your daggers, your eyes checking for your group’s surroundings since you had no trust in her holy knights to protect them. When you heard Donan clashing against her, you stared at him with something akin to pride, talking back to the one person representing his past would take anyone a lot of courage. 

You were currently standing at Donan’s left and Lorath at his right. Prava had even dared to walk closer to him as if she was willingly provoking him. An uncanny move on the right made you realise that the oldest Horadrim had felt the situation worsening and was trying to squeeze between the two of them. 

“How can you doubt us after everything we’ve done for you and Yorin?” She begrudged him without mercy.

Her words made you suddenly tick. Now you were listening with deadly attention. 

“At least he doesn’t have to see you like this.”

You could not restrain a gag reflex, your mind unable to deal with what he just heard. 

Meanwhile, the sound that came out of Donan’s throat was no longer human. In a mere second, he tried to jump at the woman’s face but Lorath skillfully restrained him. The holy knights reacted too, pointing their spears directly at the two men. 

“Sin reaps consequence. I have faith the Father acted righteously.” Prava exulted while signing to her men to stand down, which they did.

With all your will, you endured the nausea sickening you to help Lorath in putting distance between Donan and the mad believers. Your heart was still in your throat but your main concern was to assure your man’s safety. 

“We want to stop Lilith, same as you”, he tried to convince her.

Donan took a couple of steps back, shaking his head as if it could ease the intense pain in his chest, and chase the violent thoughts in his mind. By doing so he reached a railing that he grabbed like a safeguard, he could not stop his anger from building up in his body so he looked out for you, seeking your help. Except you were no longer there. He instantly turned back, fearing that you had been hurt or worse.

“That’s not exactly true…” 

The whisper was only loud enough for him to hear.

The next second your fists hit the most satisfying target for months. Prava should have been set flying except you grabbed her by her collar to put a dagger under her throat. She squealed in pain then in fear while her little knights' toys began to threaten you with their spears.

“What are you doing laying your hand on the Father’s emissary? Heretic!” She screeched like a proper banshee.

“Shut up or the next one I’ll not restrain myself”, you growled while staring at the men in full armour. “Do not make a move or I’ll kill her.”

“What the fuck are you trying to do?” Lorath barked at you.

“Learning her to respect my pack. If you’re not going to do it, then it’s up to me.” You shrugged. “Listen closely to me Prava”, you started to explain in her ear but clear and loud enough so everybody could hear you. “Each one of my friends is worth a million times your patricide of an angel. If anyone stands a chance to save the whole lot of you, it's not him, it’s them. Because they have everything you lack: a heart, and compassion. You’ll never see paradise because we humans are nothing for angels. You can lie to yourself all you want, but the truth is that you're just a pathetic human being leading a hundred more to the mass grave.”

You spilled everything you had on your heart, each word feeling like a bittersweet pain blooming in your chest. 

“About Donan,” you added lower so just the two of you could hear, “you should thank him on your knee for what he has done. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong in your mind to talk to him like this. But be sure that there will be no next time, I’ll make sure of that.”

You sighed heavily while everyone else was too baffled to even move. At that instant, holding Prava against you, you sensed a strange tugging coming from her pocket. Without hesitation, you looked through it and took back the soulstone.

“I will take that, since if I recall exactly - correct me if I’m wrong - Ignarus is not the one who’s done it. Now, I’ll let you go, but be smart enough. If you try anything, you’ll die before you reach your little angel.”

“Mark my words, you will regret this”, Prava hissed at you while taking quick, angry steps away from you.

“I hope I’ll never see you again”, you waved. 

“Damn it you could have killed us all”, Lorath criticised you once the whole people had left.

“The word you're looking for is thank you”, you joked, earning a scoff from Neyrelle. “You’re welcome”, you added before walking to Donan. “Here.”

You put the soulstone in its rightful place before hugging him without a concern in the world. The large man answered it as if was trying to crush you. Then he gently patted your hair, ignoring the two others who did not know where to look. Donan did not try to put words on what you just did. Because there was nothing to say. The kiss you exchanged sadly tasted like the last. 

*

The marine wind was gently playing with your hair as you stared at the horizon. Your face was free from any expression, despite the cold of the ending winter. It was as if nothing could reach you where your mind had gone wandering. A seagull was even bold enough to come and shout in front of your face. The sound made you jump on your feet, waving your daggers to the flying animal. It took you a whole five seconds to realise what just happened. With a growl you sheath again your weapons before leaving the place with a grimace. 

While you walked down the hill, the air kept carrying a strong smell of salt that appeased you once again. You liked it here. The salt made every scar on your body ache, but rather than bothering you, it was like a gratifying reminder of what you had done to earn your life now. 

After walking for a while, you reached a little, shabby settlement. There a couple of wooden houses stood flimsily like sheep quivering in the cold. Despite its pitiful appearance, joyful sounds were coming from there, people calling out to others to send goods, people laughing and drinking, people singing to give heart while working hard… The odours of foods and drinks even covered mixed with the sea’s, creating a pleasant result. The habitants recognised you easily, waving at you from afar or sharing some casual greetings.

“Thank you for the last hunt, thank you my idiot of a wife did not get herself killed”, a man said with a sincere smile.

He was sitting in a chair in front of his house, his legs unable to move since an old battle, while his wife was busily hanging the laundry with a baby sleeping on her back. When she heard him she quickly came closer with a pout on her face. 

“She’s a good fighter, I almost did nothing”, you assured.

“You see!” She rejoiced at your words. 

They were always like this but it amused you. To be honest, the young woman lacked any kind of fighting training, but at least she did not slow you down, so you did not entirely lie. After all, killing a couple of hungry wolves was not even enough to make you sweat. 

“See you around”, you interrupted them in their bickering. 

“Thank you”, they both waved at you.

It felt strangely comforting to see them like this, even leading to a smile in your mouth. You were flagged down a couple more times until one of the fishermen gave you the information you wanted.

“You’re looking for him aren’t you?” he grinned. “You’ll find him at his usual spot.”

He used his net to point you towards the end of the main trail to a wide field of crops just outside of the village. It took you less than two minutes to get there, but still, you enjoyed the little pleasure of being able to walk like this without pressure.

You found him at the outskirts of the little settlement. Donan was sitting on a bench, turning his back on you. You stopped there, not being seen but hearing everything. There were a couple of children playing in the grass, they often came to chat with him then ran away and came back again and again. You easily noticed the bag of pastry he held out to them, he was always spoiling them. 

“It’s late Mister Donan”, the oldest said while looking at the sun, “we need to go back to the orphanage.”

“Alright, be careful on the way back, Yorin. Here take this, give them to the ones who could not come today”, he extended the precious bag.

“Thank you, Mister Donan!” A young girl jumped happily.

“Don’t worry Yorin, just be sure to eat well and grow tall”, he patted her head gently. 

The child’s smile only grew larger, she was beaming like a little sun. The third one finally got back from his run through the field, and after a couple more goodbyes, they were off. You followed them with your eyes until they walked just past you. They politely greeted you as you could not resist messing with the oldest hair. He closed his dark eyes as he tried to defend himself as he was too old for this. 

“You’ll never be too old for us”, you joked while his two younger siblings enjoyed seeing him receive the same treatment as them. 

For a long second, you stared at his ebony skin, his short and thick dark-brown hair, long enough to make your heart sting. You had never met Yorin in his childhood days, but he should have looked a lot alike. As for the girl… She shared the same skin colour but the similarities stopped there. What a couple of fools you were doing with Donan: an old warrior scared of her own shadows and an injured mage who would mistake his lost boy for any other child. 

“Thank you”, you let the children go with a bitter sensation in your chest. 

They shrugged not understanding why you would suddenly thank them before running to their home. Never once you had heard them correct Donan, not even Flora despite her young age. You did not know why, but it seemed as if they could simply sense the mage's affection and satisfy themselves with that.

After they left, you leisurely went to sit down next to him. 

“How was your afternoon?” He asked you gently.

“Peaceful”, you answered with a smile. “Still no sign of corruption or any demonic influence…”

“That’s good to hear. Any news from Lorath?”

“No…”

It was a lie. A white lie, but still you were not ready to give up on it. Lorath was often sending letters towards Donan and you, pressing the both of you to return to the front line to fight in the war against demons and angels. But you had decided to put an end to all this the second you had thought to have lost the man you loved. What had happened in Hell, to see the ancient Horadrim almost dying for nothing… It had been too much. There was no end to the sacrifices you could make, however, you could not accept that Donan had to do the same. He deserved peace. He had already lost so much, and now even his mind had started to crumble. So you were ready to do anything to protect those last years you could share with him. For as long as you could. 

“It’s so calm here”, Donan commented in a whisper, his eyes wandering in the field as he was remembering his old life.

It was maybe the last place on Sanctuary that had not been corrupted in one way or another, was it by the angels or the demons, it was home for him and you. 

“Let’s just live…”, you nodded while grabbing his hand affectionately and putting your head on his shoulder.

“Yes.”

His head went to rest on yours, and the both of you stayed like this for as long as the world let you.