#you’re valid no matter what

[awetistic-things]

awetistic things {912}

you are valid !!!

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Okay, this is kind of silly but you’ve said many times that your asks are always open. So, I’ve never really done anything. I know virginity is kind of complicated and hard to define, especially when you’re queer, but like, you get the idea. That’s not the point though. When I do have sex with someone, I want to be good enough for them. I don’t have a lot of expectations, but I know that realistically a lot of people do. Partially from porn and stuff (I’m not saying porn is evil, just so we’re clear). Like I said, I don’t really have a lot of expectations, due to stuff that’s not relevant right now. My point is, I don’t want to disappoint her. I’m not vocal. Whatever specific expectations she has, I’m not going to live up to it. I’m not worried about taking care of her. If there’s one thing I’m good at it’s taking care of people. I’m humble, I’m good at listening to people, I’m good at reading people, etc. But I’m worried that if she wants to return the favour she’ll be disappointed. And I don’t want to let anyone down. Especially because I’m fairly firm about being authentic. I’m not going to make noise if I don’t feel it naturally. I’m not going to change myself or my appearance. I mean, there’s compromise and communication, but that’s different, you know? Wow, this whole thing is a disaster of a ramble. Thank you for listening. Have a nice day.

Darling,

Thank you so much for your vulnerability and reaching out. 💞💞💞 Words cannot express how touched and humbled I am. And yes, my asks are always open. I’m always here if anyone wants to chat.

Firstly, you’re not silly. You reaching out is not silly. You’re topic of choice is not silly. It’s all valid.

You’re correct, virginity is a complicated matter. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with ‘never having done anything’. Whether that ‘anything’ be by yourself or with another(s).

It’s 100% valid and normal to be anxious, worried about the first time you have sex. Can I give you my biggest tip? Don’t listen to societal standards: Your first time having sex is not going to be perfect, and that is 100% okay. Today, entertainment puts so much pressure and so high standards on what sex should be. Like you mentioned, porn has been a part of creating these unrealistic standards.

You are good enough. Just as you are. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. And whoever your lucky partner is, the person you first have sex with, should respect you and know that you are good enough.

The key is to remember 2 things:

Sex is not meant to be serious (unless you purposefully make it thus), it’s supposed to be a fun adventure.

Communication is key. You need to speak up for yourself. And so does your future partner. State your expectations. State your preferences. State your boundaries. Go past just that, actually talk about it. Talk about your concerns with her. Talk about her concerns. Talk it out together.

I’m glad that you are not worried about taking care of her, but please remember that you also need to take care of yourself. And let her take care of you as well.

Authenticity is good. Stay authentic. And yes, you can be authentic and still have compromise and communication.

Thank you for your ramble, dear ♥️ I’ll listen any day. I deeply appreciate you taking the time to tell me all of this. It’s healthy that you’re talking about it. Anyways, If there’s anything else, feel free to send in another ask or dm me <3 Hope you have a lovely day!!

Talk with me ❤️‍🩹

[princessefemmelesbian]

Well would you look at this. 😵‍💫 Because obviously if you dare say anything as wild and controversial as “lesbians don’t like men, please stop using a label that hurts us and tries to force men into our identity” you’re a raging terf radfem transmisogynist. Because obviously ONLY trans women use the bi lesbian label and it’s not like there are transfem lesbians who are rightfully against the label as well or anything and it’s not like terfs use the label to refer to cis lesbians who date trans women and why can’t you just let people identify as how they want of course lesbians like men stop the infighting already if you disagree with me that lesbians can like men then surely that’s because you’re an exclusionist gatekeeper who hates trans women.

[amethysttribble]

I have a thought rolling around in my head about how fandom has a very rigid, very bland, very one-dimensional idea of what a ‘good’ parent looks like, and how this vision is entirely fantasy and wish-fulfillment

[gessshoku]

Friendly reminder you do not have to go to college to be successful

[faevi]

i can’t help but get so frustrated that i am constantly getting headaches when the weekend begins because it prevents me from writing, when i just wanna write 🤠

[odessastone]

When people criticize OW and then it’s for stuff that’s not even true or accurate 🫥

[sadaveniren]

.

[bylerphobic]

okay listen, anyone can headcanon mike as whatever you want, really!! but can we please stop saying that one sexuality would be “easier” to explain/understand than the other… i know what you’re trying to say but it really rubs me the wrong way implying that one sexuality would ‘make more sense’ when they can all be explained perfectly fine — that’s exactly why people headcanon him differently.

[eternally--mortal]

Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome. I heard the name for the first time a few days ago. It’s also called “Cassandra Syndrome.”

I’ve been doing some research into it — nothing extensive — but there’s a detail I find consistently in these articles that I feel the need to set straight.

OTRS, according to the articles, presents in relationships where a Neurotypical person is married to a Neurodivergent person — relationships where the ND spouse fails to empathize with and respect the perspective of the NT spouse. It’s a little more complicated than that, but the gist is that All Neurodivergent people are being painted as potential abusers.

What these articles fail to acknowledge is that they are not talking about Autism, but Alexithymia. About 50% of Autistic people also present signs of Alexithymia (“no words for emotions” or difficulty processing emotions). The articles also fail to acknowledge that a person can be Alexithymic without being Autistic.

So Cassandra Syndrome is being portrayed as an NT/ND problem, but it’s actually more complicated than that.

I’m Autistc. I’m ADHD. I shwaffle sometimes between thinking I’m Alexithymic and thinking I’m not. But I do have a sibling who is very much Autistic and very much Alexithymic.

We’re both neurodivergent, but based on the descriptions of the symptoms of OTRS, I am confident that I have been living with it all my life.

I just think it’s a little funny. “Cassandra Syndrome” is named after the Trojan woman Cassandra who rejected Apollo’s advances. He cursed her so that she would have the gift of prophecy, but no one would ever believe her. She predicted the fall of Troy, but her own people refused to listen. “Cassandra Syndrome” is named this way to reflect the helplessness of NT partners who are not believed when they express that the source of their depression is from a partner who cannot empathize with them, who seems incapable of apologizing or accepting fault, who struggles to see outside of their own perspective, etc.

I just think it’s funny, because if “Cassandra Syndrome” is used to represent NT people, what about all of the ND people struggling in similar relationships? Or the ND people who are considered problematic partners just for being ND, even though they’re not Alexithymic? What about how the name implies that Alexithymic people represent the ‘Apollo’ side of the story?

If you’re a neurodivergent person struggling as a result of OTRS, know that you are not alone. Know that your experience is valid. If you have a non-Autistic partner with Alexithymia and you are struggling from OTRS, know that you are not alone. Know that your experience is valid. The articles don’t mention all of us. That doesn’t mean we don’t exist.

For all of the ND people who have been or will be accused of causing OTRS in a relationship simply because you are Autistic, know that you are not alone. We do not lack empathy. We have full, emotional lives. You are valued. You are not alone.

[starrytalking]

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now but it’s okay to struggle. You don’t have to have your “life under control” right now. No matter your age and if it seems like everyone else is doing oh so well (believe me, there’s others who struggle as well!), it’s okay to still figure things out and feel like a complete mess. You still have time to grow as a person and find out what works for you and how you want to live your life. Be forgiving with yourself, I know it’s hard but you deserve rest and compassion from yourself!

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Thank youu for the talk 🥹🥹🥹 I trully needed it

xx

- 🚽

Anytime, Darling <33 I’m here to talk if you ever want or need to 💞

Talk with Me 🧡

[robertsbarbie]

i do a really bad thing where i have a conversation in my head but then retaliate out loud like when i’m overwhelmed i’ll be like ‘gosh everyone is being so annoying and so loud’ and then the second someone talks to me directly i’ll be like ‘STOP DONT TALK TO ME’ instead of being normal in the first place and asking people to not talk to me in a polite manner

[x-lulu]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH Y’ALL ❤️🏳️‍🌈

[rakuraikou]

i feel like i really have to focus on my game if i want to have something to show for myself (especially because i’ve been talking abt it for Years), but i get so frustrated… and i try to alleviate that by drawing/doodling, or playing with other characters and stories (my ot/bravely guys, or twps/osea) but i just feel really guilty over it. ugh

[plinkcat-gif]

btw literally nobody at the airport knew my gender