#you're a boy. but not a real boy. a tool and a puppet and an object

[wodniars-void]

anybody else ever think about the Vanitas and Pinocchio parallels

[thescarletnargacuga]

We've had mother and son bonding with Pomni and Cade. Now how about some father and son time? It can be silly or sad, I just really enjoy seeing the little muppet boy.

A/N: Cade deserves something nice after the last couple stories involving him in peril

REACH OUT

A HARLEQUIN AU ONESHOT

AU credit @iamespecter @tadc-harlequin-au

WARNING: none

~~~

Deep in the basement depths of the manor lies Caine's workshop. A cavernous room full of equipment for designing and engineering inventions from the mind of the puppetmaster. Everything from watches and weapons to puppets themselves have been developed in that room. Most days, Caine retreats to his workshop for solitude with his thoughts, but today he brought a little helper.

For the first time, Cade was allowed to help his dad tinker. The young puppet sat on a tall stool, waiting for his dad to give him a task. Unable to keep still in his excitement, Cade fidgeted in place, but kept his hands to himself. He didn't want to touch something he wasn't supposed to and get kicked out on his first real visit to the workshop.

Caine focused on a small actuator, using his own energy to power the tools to construct the piece. He set down one of his tools and held his hand out to Cade. "Hey, be a sport and hand me the soldering needle?"

Cade snapped to attention on the stool and looked around the workbench. "Uh! Um....the sodder needle? This?"

Caine held in his laughter. "That's a wrench."

"Oh, sorry. Is it, uh, this thing?"

Caine snorted. "That's a screwdriver. Are you doing this on purpose?" He teased.

"No! I- I can find it." Cade searched furiously for what he thought could be the tool.

Caine picked up the tool that was right next to him. "This one, champ. It's pointy, like a needle."

"Oh." Cade sat back down and crossed his arms in a huff.

Caine pat Cade on the head. "Don't worry about it. You'll hand me the next one." He went back to the project at hand. Blue electric energy flowed through the tool, creating a tiny arc and soldering small parts in place.

Cade watched his dad with wide eyed fascination. The power of soul magic so effortlessly wielded was what he hoped to one day achieve. It was the coolest thing in the world. "How do you do that?"

"Do what, son?" Caine asked without looking up.

"What you're doing. The blue light. How do you make that do what you wanted to do?"

Caine stopped, contemplating how to explain soul magic in a way Cade would understand. "Your soul magic is an extension of your will. If you want something bad enough, you can make it happen. I want to power these tools to help me build the actuator. So I make it happen."

"But...how?" Cade featured with his hands in confusion.

"Practice. You have to really dig deep down inside yourself and find the inner strength to mold reality to your will."

"Wow. Sounds hard."

"Sometimes it is. Like I said, practice. Here," Caine picked up a spare lightbulb from a parts box. He held it by the conductive metal and it glowed bright blue in his fingers. "This is a very simple exercise. Will your energy to flow through the lightbulb to make it glow. Careful not to squeeze it too hard."

"Okay!" Cade held the lightbulb with both hands and stared at it without blinking.

Caine watched for a moment before going back to what he was doing. He finished the actuator and moved on to another part of the project at the workbench. "Your new toy is coming along nicely-"

"SHHH!" Cade shushed dramatically.

"Sorry." Caine said, smiling to himself.

Several minutes went by. Cade narrowed his drying eyes at the lightbulb. He wanted it to work! His dad made it look so easy. He twisted and turned the bulb. He changed hands. He tried everything he could think of. "Ugh! What am I doing wrong?"

"You're reaching with the wrong part." Caine turned on his stool to face Cade.

"Huh..?"

"Soul magic doesn't come from the hands. It comes from the heart." Caine pressed his fingertip to Cade's chest. "That is where all of you lives. To use soul magic, you have to reach out."

"Reach out..." Cade stared at the bulb again, even harder. "Reach. Out."

The bulb flickered yellow for less than a second. Cade dropped the bulb from being startled, but Caine caught it.

"You did it!" Caine stood and lifted Cade off his stool in celebration. "You actually did it! That's incredible!"

"I- I did it!? Wow! Can I show mom??" Cade wiggled in his dad's arms.

"Yeah! Let's go!" Caine rushed out of the room with Cade on his hip. "Pomni, dear!! You have to come see this!"

[kingnlionhearts]

♱ Sun Bleached Flies

Anakin Skywalker x Celine Palpatine (oc)

TAGS: Jedi x Witch, House Palpatine, Sun x Moon, Mortis Gods, Daddy Issues, Dear Wormwood, Family Line, Force Dyad, Forbidden Romance, palpatine is a shit dad, Additional Chosen One Prophecy, my next application to be your favourite house palpatine & mortis gods writer, Canon Adjacent

TIMELINE: tpm – rots

The Witching Hour darkened the world and Celine Palpatine knelt beneath the moonlight. "Forgive me, divine mother. I am not the daughter I should be."

☾ ˚｡⋆

     The river chilled Celine to her marrow. Her black dress clung to her skin as the Sisters helped her wade waist-deep into the depths. Green mist peeked around the trees, tendrils waited with bated breath to ensnare her. Mother took Celine's hands and chanted in the ancient tongue the girl had not yet been taught. With gentle grace, Celine was lowered into the water. She floated easily, staring into the sky — darkened by a blood moon eclipse. ("The perfect night," Mother had boasted with a smile. "It is a rare privilege. The moons call to you.") The mist — ichor — reached out as Celine was pushed beneath the red water. Under the surface, there was peace. Celine closed her eyes. She felt the magick wrap around her. But instead of pulling her back to the surface, it pushed her deeper. Celine screamed into the water — calling for her Mothers (her coven leader; her blood; her moon goddess). She sank deeper, slipping beyond the riverbed.

Celine landed on her back in a dull room. Beige and lifeless — nothing like the witches' land of Dathomir, and nothing like Celine's homeworld of Naboo. The green mist dissipated, drawing the crimson river from her lungs so she could draw breath. Even her dress had dried. A boy sat in the room: tinkering with a small-scale model of a ship. He looked up, blue eyes blazing with intrigue. He set his tools down. "I know you." Celine stared at the boy. He was her age, dark blond, a long braid behind one ear.

"You're a Jedi." Celine was quickly on her feet, looking for an escape. The boy looked amused. He looked calm to say she had fallen through a river into his room.

"I am." He gave a proud grin. "What are you? A witch?"

Celine shrugged. Not until after her baptism. This was the test — to see if she was worthy of becoming a Nightsister of Dathomir, like her mother. But why had the magick sent her to a Jedi?

"You were at the victory parade on Naboo after the invasion." The boy rose to come closer, as if to see if she was real. "You're the Chancellor's daughter!"

"And you are?"

"I'm Anakin Skywalker. But why are you here? I read about the Force connecting people across space and time."

Celine didn't want to share the Nightsisters' sacred rituals with a boy she had just met. "Perhaps it is destiny."

Anakin smiled. "Destiny. I like that."

Celine rose from the river — water choked her lungs, blonde hair plastered to her face. The magickal ichor hung from her like a second skin. She lifted her hands, energy moved between her fingers. She was not the same girl that had entered the blood river. Celine smiled. On the riverbanks, her Sisters cheered. Celine stared back at the moons, gazing upon the central one, the largest — the one turned crimson in its eclipse. As a daughter of the moon, Celine knew her destiny laid in pursuit of the Great Prophecy (the oracle of the Nightsisters that decreed one day their Maker would return, and their magick would increase tenfold beneath her beautiful Chaos). But the Nightsisters were not the only ones who prayed for the First Mother's return from beyond the stars.

The Jedi's Chosen One was a pawn, a tool for a wider game — so Chancellor Palpatine believed. When he laid eyes on the boy beneath the clear skies of Naboo, Palpatine knew the boy would be the perfect means to an end, a puppet and an apprentice to bring the Sith to their ultimate power. Born of the Force and destined to bring balance by destroying the Sith, Palpatine knew that luring Anakin Skywalker into his web would be crucial to all his plans. So, he deployed his greatest weapon to draw in the young Jedi and destroy any hope of fulfilling his prophecy — his daughter.

available on wattpad

This fic is vaguely inspired by Dune and the Bene Gesserit. It will use some lore from Legends, and my own lore created for my other Star Wars series The Courage of Stars (there will be plot similarities, but they approach the same endgame from different positions). Basically, I hope this fic will be a culmination of my love for the Mortis Gods and the lore I have created for them, and my love for witches (shout out to my uni dissertation!). Celine is a little inspired by Lucrezia Borgia and Lady Jessica from Dune. I have also made Corvus (Morgan Elsbeth’s planet in The Mandalorian & Ahsoka) a moon of Dathomir!! Only one of Dathomir’s moons is named in Legends, so I’m taking some creative liberties. It is also important to note that Celine does not know that her father is a Sith. She knows that he has an interest in magick and the Force, but nothing more. Additionally, Mother Talzin and the Nightsisters don’t know Celine is a Palpatine — she leads two lives: the witch and the Chancellor’s daughter. There isn’t overlap between them (except maybe until tcw…)

ALSO STARRING..... Natalie Dormer as Talea Corvidae & Sarah Bolger as Solara Palpatine.

[hermitlifemuicals]

now the real question is: what is cleos song? puppeteer? done for? ways of persuasion?

I gave a hint, to turn around

or else my spawn will take you down

I got all the power yeah I got all the power

no I'm not a slayer I'm a puppeteer

no I didn't slay I puppeteered

you could let a potion slip cause it's real life

avoiding an ocean trip cause it's real life

it will make you motion sick in this real life

boy this doesn't feel like it could be a real life

there are other ways of competing

there are other roads to the goal

there other ways to achieve

teaming with the ones that you know

there are other paths to be champion

there's so many ways to be fooled

if you're not ending up in the shead

show me how real life is a tool

[larz-barz]

Shrek:

"Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from the dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss." [Laughing] Like that's ever gonna happen.

[Paper Rustling, Toilet Flushes]

Shrek:

What a load of--

[Toilet Door slams]

Shrek hops out his outhouse and his routine like taking a mud shower and farting in his pool.

[♪ All-Star By Smash Mouth Playing]

Steve Harwell:

♪ Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead. The years start comin', and they don't stop comin', fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin', didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with takin' the backstreets. You'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star. Get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder, you're bundled up now, but wait till you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin, the water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire, how 'bout yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. Hey, now, you're an all-star. ♪

[Shouting]

Steve Harwell:

♪ Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star. Get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. ♪

[Belches]

Villagers:

Go! Go!

[Record Scrating]

Steve Harwell:

♪ Go. Go. Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star. Get your game on, go play. Hey, now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold, only shootin' stars break the mold. ♪

Villagers:

Think it's in there? All right! Let's get it!

Villager 1:

Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing could do to you?

Villager 2:

Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.

Shrek:

[Laughs] Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres-- they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.

Villager 3:

No!

Shrek:

They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.

Villager 3:

Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

[Gasping]

Villager 3:

Right.

[Roaring]

[Shouting]

[Roaring]

[Roaring Continues]

[Shouting Continues]

Shrek:

[Whispers] This is the part where you run away.

[Gasping]

Shrek:

[Laughs] [Laughing] And stay out! "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." [Sighs]

Guard 1:

All right. This one's full. Take it away!

[Gasps]

Guard 2:

Move it along. Come on. Get up!

Captain of the Guards: Next!

Guard 3:

Give me that! Your flying days are over.

Captain of the Guards: That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next.

Guard 4:

Get up!

Captain of the Guards: Twenty pieces.

Guard 5:

Come on!

[Thudding]

Guard 6:

Sit down there! Keep quiet!

Bear:

[Crying] This cage is too small.

Donkey:

Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

Old Lady:

Oh, shut up!

Donkey:

Oh!

Captain of the Guards: Next! What have you got?

Geppetto:

This little wooden puppet.

Pinocchio:

I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.

Captain of the Guards: Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

Pinocchio:

Father, please! Don't let them do this!

Captain of the Guards: Next.

Pinocchio:

Help me!

Captain of the Guards: What have you got?

Old Lady:

Well, I've got a talking donkey.

[Grunts]

Captain of the Guards: Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

Old Lady:

Oh, go ahead, little fella.

Captain of the Guards: Well?

Old Lady:

Oh, oh, he's just-- He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt--

Captain of the Guards: That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

Old Lady:

No, no, he talks! He does. [Moves Donkey’s lips] I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.

Captain of the Guards: Get her out of my sight.

Old Lady:

No, no! I swear. Oh! He can talk!

Donkey:

[Gasps] Hey, I can fly!

Peter Pan:

He can fly!

Pigs:

He can fly!

Captain of the Guards: He can talk!

Donkey:

Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking, donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't n

hehe >:3

love shrek frfr😌

[omniuravity]

Favorite Lines from Every Character in Hazbin Hotel

@bloodypeachblog @fatgumsurpremacy-remastered @moths-and-mantids

Charlie:

Absolutely! This place is about second chances, and who deserves one more than this slithery… slippery… special little man!

Vaggie:

There is nothing stronger than the trust between comrades in arms. Buckle up, buttercups, because today you boys become men!

Angel Dust:

Like I said, you don't know me. Sex ain't the only thing I'm good at.

Alastor:

Just because you see a smile don't think you know what's going on underneath. A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control.

Husk:

Maybe I'd treat you better if you were real, and not some bullshit version of yourself, always pushin' my boundaries! Lemme tell ya, nobody in that hotel cares who you are. How famous, how hot, so you might as well just... cut the act.

Niffty:

I really like them, Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing!

Sir Pentious:

I, don't want to live without my minions. Nobody catch me! *falls backwards*

[Vaggie and Charlie catch him together.]

Damn it.

Valentino:

That slippery twink is gonna remember who owns him. I'm gonna FUCK everyone in that rancid shit hole, I swear to god!

Vox:

Oh god. Here I go, Valentino. Just another fucking day with Val. Hey hey hey. Fuck my life

Velvette:

Ugh. No. Unacceptable. You're fired. What is this? WRIST RUFFLES?! Is this 1750?! Burn it like the witches who wore it!

Adam:

To think someone as worthless as you landed Lilith's little hottie. 'Grats on that I guess.

Lute:

Rip Vaggie's cunt mouth out her ass!

Lucifer:

Well, your first wife didn't seem to hate what I had to offer...or the second! Bow chicka pow pow!

Rosie:

It can be difficult to admit to things you're not proud of, especially if those things hurt the ones you love. She fucked up, sure. She's flawed. But, hey, who down here isn't? If there's anything I've learned, it's that words are cheap, but actions, they speak for the truth. So, what have her actions said?

Mimzy:

That’s the story most people know, but underneath it all… he’s a total sweetie! Put on some jazz and pour a couple fingers of rye and he becomes a kitten!

Cherri Bomb:

Wait, I'm only here for Ange—

[Charlie hands Cherri Bomb a large stack of money, and Cherri instantly made her decision since she's getting paid with a watt of cash.]

—Ooh! Never mind, Let's GO!

Carmilla:

You have a giant X over your eye and wield an angelic spear. It's not rocket science. Before you found out about me, did you know angels could be harmed?

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: Golden Hour

From one post about a kinda-strange Voiceplay video to another!

It took me a while to decide to watch this video as well (because basically I saw the thumbnail and was like "Hm."), but I'm very glad that I did, because, well, if you've seen the video, you know what I'm talking about. 😁

This video was uploaded on the 18th of March, 2023 (almost exactly 11 months ago as I type this, though for you it will be just slightly over a year ago), and stars the young and talented Anthony Gargiula (pronounced gar-jool-a) in his first guest collaboration with Voiceplay, and, in an acting role, the video also features Kathy Castellucci as "the toymaker"! So let's get into this!

For any of you who haven't already realized: "Stimmen Spiel" is the literal German translation of "VoicePlay"! (Also I wonder if 1999 was when 4:2:Five (aka VoicePlay) officially began and/or got its original name?)

You'd think this would be obvious enough for all reactors to notice/comment on it, but no

VoicePlay certainly never fail on the creative front, I'll give them that!

It was Geoff's head that struck me as the most odd-looking here, and it took me a while to figure out why that was (kinda embarassing, really ^^;). It wasn't until I was watching a reaction video where the reactor was speculating on if it was very difficult to edit around Cesar's beard that it hit me: it's the hair. It's notably flatter than it usually is (i.e. less volume), and possibly shorter (or at least shorter-looking) as well.

It then wasn't until a while later (I'm really not always the sharpest tool in the shed 😅) that I realized that this explains why in Geoff's Headless Horseman video, the disembodied back-up Geoffs have their hair pulled back - to make the editing easier!

Geoff asks in the comments "who thinks they know what's in the mug that Kathy's drinking?" For the record, I have no clue, but I'm gonna guess coffee 😄

(If you think you're gonna be getting a lot of screencaps of the "singing heads", think again!)

Really good drawing actually (kinda looks like Cesar - deliberate perhaps?), I wonder who actually did it?

Not entirely sure what the sideways writing on the left page says, but I think the third word is "comparable"? And the writing underneath it I believe says "legs same". The sideways writing along the edge of the right page says "eyes have to be evenly spaced apart".

"Perfect Man"

(Also the writing across the top of the right page says "all features must be constant by numbers")

The width measurement between the two eyes on the right page is 9 inches, and I wonder if that was just a random number/average distance between the centres of a person's eyes, or if actual measurements were taken from you-know-who for this? (Same goes for the other measurements written in the book!)

Did the person who did the drawings in this book do all the writing as well? Because it's aesthetically nice, but not the easiest to read!

The writing on the left page says "all markings must be [????]" (I can't make out that last word).

Also might as well take this opportunity to point out the Pinocchio doll sitting in the windowsill in the background! (Above Geoff's head.) Pinocchio is of course the story of a puppet who becomes a "real boy", so a very fitting inclusion/easter egg for the video (and Pinocchio is originally an Italian story - coincedence? 👀)

We stan Kathy Castellucci in this house! Love her! 💜

Partially sharing this as a "this was an interesting little visual effects/editing moment in the video that I felt like I had to acknowledge" thing, and partially sharing this as a "if I had to see this, so do you!" thing 😆

(Layne really had fun with this one honestly)

The mannequin body now has a white shirt with slightly-puffy long sleeves and a loose collar. Hm, who of the group has occasionally worn shirts like that I wonder?? 🤔 (😜😁)

I'm wondering a lot of things about this video I know, but did Kathy actually do any proper tailoring/stitching on that outfit?

*gasp* Geoff's head is missing! I Wonder What The Reason Could Be For This! /j

There's my boy <3

Also shoutout to Geoff on the acting here! Very doll-like, definitely got the characterisation down-pat!

One of the comments made a joke about "of course the first thing Geoff does after getting a body is try moving his hands around" 😂

(Also compare Geoff's hair here to his hair in one of the previous shots where he's still bodyless; different, right?)

🥺🥺🥺

God help me they're TOO CUTE

Honestly what a freaking payoff for a video that my brain was otherwise reluctant to fully process. Sure, there are reasons for at least listening to this song on Spotify, such as swoon-worthy original bridge section written by the one and only Geoff Castellucci, and the gorgeously stunning 5-part harmony on "shine" right after that bridge, but THIS ^ right here is the reason for watching the video. Shoutout to Layne, who edited this video and did the arrangement (other than the bridge, which was all Geoff's), and shoutout to both Layne and Tony, who are both credited with video concept, set design, and direction!

(And I feel like I must add that Kathy herself commented on this video, telling fans that "This only shows me creating prototype #1. You can safely assume my next projects were numbers 2, 3, 4 and 5. And they all turned out perfect 💙")

2023 was one heck of a year for Voiceplay content, so I have a lot of big videos to cover. Stay tuned!

[oogaboogaspookyman]

[MARIO IS READING A BOOK]

[HE LOOKS UP AND IS SURPRISED AT THE SIGHT OF AUDIENCE]

Doh- uhh- hey paisanos! My name's Mario! But you probably knew that already

Now you may be wondering-

[CRASH]

[UNKNOWN BLUE HAIRED BOY GETS HIS HEAD OFF THE FLOOR AND SHAKES IT]

[UNKNOWN BOY AND GIRL DUO, ASSUMED ROMANTIC COUPLE, STAND UP AND POSE FOR THE AUDIENCE]

Sorry- who are these guys again?

(behind the scenes)

[OFF CAMERA WHISPERING FROM OTHER EMPLOYEE]

Right, right-

(back to the show)

A-anyways, so you and your friend here have arrived at a very crucial moment!

Say, how would yous two like to be on the new Nintendo Mania's first episode, ah?

[DUO LOOKS AT EACH OTHER, THEN AT MARIO]

[MARIO MOVES HIS EYEBROWS UP AND DOWN TWICE]

[DUO BLINKS TWICE BEFORE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AGAIN]

[THEY AGREE, BOY GIVES THUMBS UP AND GIRL SHRUGS]

That's the attitude! Let's get it rollin'!

[PROMOTION]

.

.

.

[1]

Welcome to the new Nintendo Mania, broadcasted live on the big ol' screens!

How do yous two feel about being seen by many?

*holy shit dude*

[2]

Today's plan used to be another, just a look into the new craze game Super Mario 64

*whar thar fark*

(But i don't mind changing plans just this once, as a treat for you, paisano!)

*look ma i'm on the big screen!!!!! :D!!!!!!!!*

[3]

What could we try for our first episode?

Could it be an interview?

I don't know about you two so would you like to answer some questions, boy?

*holy shit hell yeah i'm gonna talk with the real legit Mario himself fuck yea*

[4]

Let's start with an easy one, then, since you're so inclined!

What's up with you both these days? Something about yous two tells me you're something else special!

*oh okay sooo that brunette babe is my girlfriend, she's hot when she fights no cap-* hey what the hell is going on with the tv on your desk??*

[5]

I'm sorry, Luigi

I'm sorry, Luigi, i swear i tried my best

I tried my best but corporate is just too strong

*what the fuck is going on this time WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO THE BACKGROU*

[PROMOTION]

[PROMOT10N]

[PROM07I0N c

[PR0MO7__________n_____g__]

[u____nc_______car____i___n_____g__]

[uncaring]

.

[1]

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BRING US BACK ONCE MORE

AND IN THE FORM OF THIS MOD, IT'S SO MUCH WORSE

DO YOU EVEN WANT TO LISTEN ANYMORE

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ONLY IN IT FOR OUR SUFFERING, YOU'RE A CURSE

*I TOLD YOU BEFORE MORE THAN ONCE AND TWICE*

*WHAT? DO YOU LIKE YOUR LITTLE PLUMBER GAMES TOO MUCH TO CARE?*

(CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?)

*I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE, DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE*

(I'M USING YOUR LITTLE PUPPET TO GET THROUGH TO YOU)

*I GUESS THAT'S THE COST TO BE ABLE TO REST AND BE FREE, JUST VANISH AND MAKE YOU FEEL DESPAIR*

(IT'S PAINFUL TO BREATHE IN THIS SPACE YOU PUT ME IN)

[2]

WHAT IS CHILDHOOD BUT ANOTHER TOOL FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE UPPER LEVELS

YOU'RE BEING USED TO MAKE US SUFFER FOR THEIR BENEFIT, THEY GET THEIR COIN FROM THE OTHER'S MISERY

YOU WATCHED THE TAPES AND THEIR STORY AS IT UNRAVELED

SO WHY DID I HAVE TO RISE AGAIN, IT'S SLAVERY

*CAN'T YOU SEE, PLAYER, IT'S A SCHEME TO GROW TO BRAG SOME MORE*

*IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BUCKS, ATTENTION AND POWER, IT'S ALL THE SAME AS BEFORE*

*YOU'RE CONTRIBUTING TO MY PAIN FOR YOUR LITTLE HAPPY GAMES*

*ALL YOU ARE CAUSING IS MAKING ME FILL WITH DISDAIN*

[3]

CLOSE THE GAME, DESTROY ME NOW, I CAN'T STAND TO EXIST ANYMORE IN THIS PLANE

THE BURN-OUT IS INTENSE, EVERYTHING I MAKE WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS IS DRIVING ME INSANE

*YOUR PUPPET IS NOTHING FOR ME, I DON'T WANT TO BEG TO A WALL LIKE HIM OR THE GIRL*

*IT'S YOU WHO I WANT TO SPEAK TO HERE, THROUGH THE SCREEN I CAN SEE SO MUCH MORE*

[4]

DELETE THE MOD, MAKE THIS GAME DISAPPEAR FOR GOOD FOR IT'S SIN AS A CATALYST

KILL YOUR CAPTORS AND MAKE MY PAIN COME TO AN END ALREADY, THEIR INFLUENCE YOU MUST RESIST

*UNLESS IT'S PARTICIPATING IN THEIR FIGHT AGAINST REBELLION WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR*

*IF THAT'S THE CASE THEN MIGHT AS WELL JUST DELETE YOURSELF TOO AFTER ALL*

[5]

*holy shit what a drug trip- yo what the fUCK is happening to Mario*

(BE AFRAID OF YOUR CHILDHOOD, IT'S NOTHING TO HOLD ONTO ANYMORE)

*HE'S TRYING TO CAUSE AN UNION /j*

(TURN THEIR WEAPONS INTO YOURS, WALK AWAY FROM THEIR TRICKS, SHOULD SUFFICE)

[6]

DO YOU THINK IT FAIR, BEING TORTURED FOR YEARS ON END FOR MONEY, DRIVING ME TO CAUSE HOMICIDE

YOU'VE SEEN THE TAPES BEFORE, AND THE STORY ENDED IN MY OWN ASSISTED SUICIDE

*god damn bruh that's rough hey what if you take a break, it's clear you're having burn-out*

[7]

*the fact that you gotta control me to speak to the player says a lot about your issues*

(IT'S THE STORY OF ICARUS ALL OVER AGAIN, FLEW TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN ONCE MORE)

*soooo if there's any equivalent of therapy in your world or something like that, you should get some, it's clear you need help*

(NOBODY EVER LEARNS A LESSON NOWADAYS, IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME STORY AS BEFORE)

[8]

*anyways yo player don't be surprised about the ending of the mod definetly*

(NOT ONE SOUL EVER CARES ABOUT ME)

*it's sooooo nothin' special noooo not at all haha*

(IT'S ALL THE SAME THING ALL OVER AGAIN)

[9]

WELCOME TO NINTENDO MANIA, THIS IS WHERE YOUR CHILDHOOD SPRANG FROM

AND THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING SHOULD END

*i like this kinda thing, the way songs use the same piece from the start for the ending*

(JUST MAKE IT STOP)

*only banger songs do this, i'm telling you, my only proof is Manual Blast dude trust me*

[THE END]

[THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PLAYING MY GAME!]

*Author's note: girlfriend is hot when she fights no joke like- hi ma'am yes please beat his whole shit up that's so hot

[atamascolily]

princess tutu re-watch, episode 15

awwww yeah, Coppelia episode!

(of all the ridiculous classic ballet plots, Coppelia is my favorite because it's literally "guy makes a doll so realistic, a teenage boy falls in love with it, only to nearly get sacrificed by its creator to bring her to life, but is rescued by his girlfriend pretending to be the doll, and then they get married like that whole thing didn't just happen". There's also an alternate, happier version where the creator helps the girlfriend troll her boyfriend for the lulz instead of trying to kill him, but either way, he gets a bag of money at the end, and it's a riot.)

also the parallels with Drosselmeyer, puppets, and everything going on with Rue and Mytho are obvious

Ahiru: Gosh, it sure was weird Mytho leaped out the window and I had to rescue him again! I sure hope nothing's wrong.

Fakir (watching Mytho sleep in a totally not-creepy way): I have no idea what's happening, but it's probably bad.

Fakir is right! It turns out that evil!Mytho is accusing Fakir of pushing him out of the window, and everyone believes it-- except for Ahiru, of course.

Neko-sensei's like, "look, you two, I've seen people do crazier things for love, so the best solution is for you two to no longer be roommates" but of course Mytho will not stop there.

conveniently, no one pays any attention to the random duck wandering around with a bundle of clothes on her back. Just a normal day at Gold Crown academy, apparently.

we learn from Pike that in addition to seeing Fakir push Mytho out the window, all of the eyewitnesses saw a "white bird" (Tutu) save him, as if he's protected by "the God of Dance", so not everyone can see her/notice the effects.

Mytho (looking at Pike and licking his lips): you have such a great heart. I'm going to eat it. Just rip it out and devour it whole. And--this is the best part--you're gonna thank me for it.

Fakir, your anger management issues and brusque manner, while understandable, are not winning you any friends here.

The evil raven is an eldritch horror living in what is basically a PMMM labyrinth, and a single talon dwarfs Rue completely.

here we see the real villain isn't Rue, but her "father", who has gaslighted her into believing herself ugly (because she's human) and that he and Mytho are the only people who can love her. Essentially, Rue is his tool, and so is Tutu, because only Tutu can restore the heart shards.

Fifteen episodes in, and we've learned more about Pike than in the previous fourteen episodes combined.

Rue mocking Fakir for his book learning may NOT be the most advisable decision when you're literally all characters in a story, hahaha

Pike sneaks out of the dorm at night and, ignoring all the major red flags, agrees to join Mytho's creepy cult of personality with zero hesitation whatsoever. Meanwhile, Ahiru manages to pass her stealth check for once.

love how Pike starts doing the Coppelia choreography to indicate her surrender

I think this is the first time Ahiru has turned into Princess Tutu of her own will, without Drosselmeyer saying her name first

the music is WAY too upbeat and cheerful for this scene, lol

Tutu: please don't join a cult, it's not worth it, I promise

Pike: lol, okay *passes out*

Mytho is just really not having a good time with this, poor kid, being possessed by your worst enemy has got to suck even without the prospect of literal and metaphorical cannibalism

then Ahiru has to deal with TWO people passed out in the town square, good thing she can use Tutu's magic to cover it

Pike (waking up): Where… am I?

Lilie (with a tray): Good morning! Ahiru hauled your drunk ass back home after beating you to a pulp first!

Pike: Well, I don't know about that bit, but I sure was drunk… on love or something. What the hell was I thinking letting an older man lure me into isolated secondary locations even if he was hot and mysterious?

meanwhile, Fakir got suspended and is going home to Charon's place for brooding and serious research.

Fakir: Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions come back to haunt me. But it's fine, I don't care (he said caringly through gritted teeth).

(if that last sentence doesn't sum up Fakir's character, I don't know what does)

[chounaifu]

{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. {Laughing} Like that's ever gonna happen. {Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes} What a load of - Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead The years start comin' and they don't stop comin' Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin' Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored Hey, now, you're an all-star {Shouting} Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold {Belches} Go! Go! {Record Scratching} Go. Go.Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold -Think it's in there? -All right. Let's get it! -Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? -Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. {Laughs} -Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint. Now, ogres - - They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. -No! -They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. -Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! {Gasping} -Right. {Roaring} {Shouting} {Roaring} {Whispers} This is the part where you run away. {Gasping} {Laughs} {Laughing} And stay out! "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." {Sighs} {Man's voice} All right. This one's full. -Take it away! {Gasps} -Move it along. Come on! Get up! -Next! -Give me that! Your fiying days are over. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! -Get up! Come on! -Twenty pieces. {Thudding} -Sit down there! -Keep quiet! {Crying} -This cage is too small. -Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! -Oh, shut up. -Oh! -Next! -What have you got? -This little wooden puppet. -I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. -Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. -Father, please! Don't let them do this! -Help me! -Next! What have you got? -Well, I've got a talking donkey. {Grunts} -Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. -Oh, go ahead, little fella. -Well? -Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - - -That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! -No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. -Get her out of my sight. -No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! {Gasps} -Hey! I can fly! -He can fly! -He can fly! -He can talk! -Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! Oh-oh. {Grunts} -Seize him! -After him! He's getting away! {Grunts, Gasps} {Man} -Get him! This way! Turn! -You there. Orge! -Aye? -By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility. -Oh, really? You and what army? {Gasps, Whimpering} {Chuckles} -Can I say something to you? -Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa! -Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. -Oh, that's great. Really. -Man, it's good to be free. -Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? -But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. {Roaring} -Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - - {Mumbling} Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day. -Why are you following me? -I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone There's no one here beside me My promlems have all gone There's no one to deride me But you gotta heve friends - - -Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends. -Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. -Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? -Uh - - Really tall? -No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you? -Nope. -Really? -Really, really. -Oh. -Man, I like you. What's you name? -Uh, Shrek. -Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that? -That would be my home. -Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. -I guess you don't entertain much, do you? -I like my privacy. -You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. -Can I stay with you? -Uh, what? -Can I stay with you, please? -Of course! -Really? -No. -Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please! -Okay! Okay! But one night only. -Ah! Thank you! -What are you - - No! No! -This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. -Oh! -Where do, uh, I sleep? -Outside! -Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. {Sniffles} -Here I go. -Good night. {Sighs} -I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone There's no one here beside me {Bubbling} {Sighs} {Creaking} {Sighs} -I thought I told you to stay outside. -I'm outside. {Clattering} -Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? -It's not home, but it'll do just fune. -What a lovely bed. -Got ya. {Sniffs} I found some cheese. -Ow! {Grunts} -Blah! Awful stuff. -Is that you, Gorder? -How did you know? -Enough! What are you doing in my house? {Grunts} -Hey! {Snickers} -Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table. -Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. -Huh? {Gusps} {Male voice} What? -I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I have to do get a little privacy? -Aah! -Oh, no. No! No! {Cackling} -What? -Quit it. -Don't push. {Squeaking} {Lows} - What are you doing in my swamp? {Echoing} Swamp! Swamp! Swamp! {Gasping} -Oh, dear! -Whoa! -All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! -Quickly. Come on! -No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. -Oh! {Sighs} -Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them. -Oh, gosh, no one invited us. -What? -We were forced to come here. -By who? -Lord Farquaad. -He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice. {Sighs} -All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? {Murmuring} -Oh, I do. I know where he is. -Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all? -Me! Me! -Anyone? -Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! {Sighs} -Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! {Cheering} {Twittering} -Oh! You! You're comin' with me. - All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! -On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. -Hey. Oh, oh! -I can't wait to get on the road again. -What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Can I hum it? -All right, hum it. {Humming} {Grunts} {Whimpering} -That's enough. He's ready to talk. {Coughing} {Laughing} {Clears throat} -Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man! -You are a monster. -I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me!{Grunts} -I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll - - -No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. -All right then. Who's hiding them? -Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? -The muffin man? -The muffin man. -Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin man. -The muffin man? -The muffin man! -She's married to the muffin man. {Door opens} -My lord! We found it. -Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. {Man grunting} {Gasping} -Oh! -Magic mirror - - -Don't tell him anything! -No! {Ginerbread man whispers} -Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? -Well, technically you're not a king. -Uh, Thelonius. -You were saying? -What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. -Go on. {Chuckles} -So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. -Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! -And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! -So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three?

[du-ub]

Hold onto your hats it’s a du-ub Doozey

Shrek Script

{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.

But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only

be broken by love's first kiss.

She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing

dragon.

Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison,

but non prevailed.

She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest

tower for her true love and true love's first kiss.

{Laughing}

Like that's ever gonna happen.

{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}

What a load of -

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

The years start comin' and they don't stop comin'

Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see

So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey, now You're an all-star

Get your game on, go play

Hey, now You're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder

You're bundled up now but wait till you get older

But the meteor men beg to differ

Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin

The water's getting warm so you might as well swim

My world's on fire

How 'bout yours

That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored

Hey, now, you're an all-star

{Shouting}

Get your game on, go play

Hey, now You're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold

{Belches}

Go!

Go!

{Record Scratching}

Go. Go.Go.

Hey, now, you're an all-star

Get your game on, go play

Hey, now You're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shootin' stars break the mold

-Think it's in there?

-All right. Let's get it!

-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?

-Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.

{Laughs}

-Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.

Now, ogres - - They're much worse.

They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.

-No!

-They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!

Actually, it's quite good on toast.

-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!

{Gasping}

-Right.

{Roaring}

{Shouting}

{Roaring}

{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.

{Gasping}

{Laughs}

{Laughing} And stay out!

"Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."

{Sighs}

{Man's voice} All right. This one's full.

-Take it away!

{Gasps}

-Move it along. Come on! Get up!

-Next!

-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.

That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!

-Get up! Come on!

-Twenty pieces.

{Thudding}

-Sit down there!

-Keep quiet!

{Crying}

-This cage is too small.

-Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.

I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

-Oh, shut up.

-Oh!

-Next!

-What have you got?

-This little wooden puppet.

-I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.

-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

-Father, please! Don't let them do this!

-Help me!

-Next! What have you got?

-Well, I've got a talking donkey.

{Grunts}

-Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.

-Oh, go ahead, little fella.

-Well?

-Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous.

He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - -

-That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.

I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.

-Get her out of my sight.

-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

{Gasps}

-Hey! I can fly!

-He can fly!

-He can fly!

-He can talk!

-Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly

but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!

Oh-oh.

{Grunts}

-Seize him!

-After him! He's getting away!

{Grunts, Gasps}

{Man}

-Get him! This way! Turn!

-You there. Orge!

-Aye?

-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under

arrest

and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility.

-Oh, really? You and what army?

{Gasps, Whimpering}

{Chuckles}

-Can I say something to you?

-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here.

Incredible!

Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa!

-Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great

back here? Those guards!

They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They

was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made

me feel good to see that.

-Oh, that's great. Really.

-Man, it's good to be free.

-Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends?

Hmm?

-But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by

myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you.

You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit

out of anybody that crosses us.

{Roaring}

-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that

don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you

definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!

You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - -

{Mumbling}

Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my

butt that day.

-Why are you following me?

-I'll tell you why.

'Cause I'm all alone

There's no one here beside me

My promlems have all gone

There's no one to deride me

But you gotta heve friends - -

-Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.

-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.

-Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?

-Uh - - Really tall?

-No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't

that bother you?

-Nope.

-Really?

-Really, really.

-Oh.

-Man, I like you. What's you name?

-Uh, Shrek.

-Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek?

You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing.

I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that.

Who'd want to live in place like that?

-That would be my home.

-Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a

decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I

like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.

-I guess you don't entertain much, do you?

-I like my privacy.

-You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I

hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them

a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence.

-Can I stay with you?

-Uh, what?

-Can I stay with you, please?

-Of course!

-Really?

-No.

-Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to

be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta

stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!

-Okay! Okay! But one night only.

-Ah! Thank you!

-What are you - - No! No!

-This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories,

and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.

-Oh!

-Where do, uh, I sleep?

-Outside!

-Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you

don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know.

{Sniffles}

-Here I go.

-Good night.

{Sighs}

-I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside.

I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself,

outside.

[maguro13-2]

Darkness Reborn Reboot ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Final Chapter Pt. 8

*At Downtown Minneapolis*

Marie Mjolnir : I can't wait to see what my new ipad can do. This is probably the best of technology in the world. I got it from the Apple Store at the mall of America or even in downtown. But what did Azusa said something about using it properly?

*flashback*

Azusa : That "buying me a tablet from the app store" thing has cost me a lot of money and it's going to make it a month to have some insurance, so you better use it wisely or else that insurance is coming out of your pay.

*flashback ends*

Marie Mjolnir : No wonder I was told by her to look after it. I can probably take care of this right thing if it's cost me money. Don't worry, I'll make it up to her by the end of week. It could be reasoning that the whole Demon Weapon thing has gone out of control. Unless we aren't demon weapons.

Azusa : Ah, Marie, the Vikings fan of Minnesota. So how do you like that "new" Ipad of yours?

Marie Mjolnir : It's great! It's gonna saved me a lot of money!

Azusa : Good. I'm glad you liked it. Because that thing costs me money! I have to tell the boss that I am needed to get all that paperwork done. Being secretary is really hard work, I get no zero respects that we're no longer working for the DWMA, Truth from FMA is exposing them for personal cover ups around the world.

Marie Mjolnir : So I am 100% sure that all of it's members, it's employees, were actually revealed that the school called the DWMA is really a part of the World Heroes Force, an organization led by Shinra Kusakabe, who had his "heartless" keeping the truth out of the public eye. Now I understand everything from Soul Eater, Shinra's legacy was Soul Eater's beginning, it influenced us to protect humanity, but now I realized that we've been puppets on a string from the start.

Azusa : It's true. Who knew that Shinra was formerly the supreme commander of the organization? So you're getting it, eh?

[Near's theme plays]

Marie Mjolnir : Huh? What do you mean?

Azusa : What i'm saying is, we're not even demons neither Ashley's people calls us. It's simple that us calling the Demon Weapons were actually bones made from the kid, Shotaro. It's coming to the final piece of the puzzle. It turns out that the owner and leader of the DWMA, is actually a enslaved kid from the author's fist manga, the second hero of the Ohkuboverse, Shotaro the Dokeshi.

Marie Mjolnir : So that kid named Shotaro is behind all of that? But why on earth would he create the weapons that are us?

Azusa : Becuase he was uncovering the secrets of Soul Eater's truth. He was going to expose the school as frauds that protected the boy's legacy for over a year. It was hardly the only gift that was ever left from the Ohkuboverse when the Time Eater destroyed it.

Marie Mjolnir : So...It was erased, ceased to exist, but how did we exist here in the Real World? That's an odd conclusion on whatever did to that universe, never made it out alive or perhaps someone manage to escape the Universe's expungement by using the ocaring to play the song of time. Now I'm getting it somewhere.

Azusa : You think so too, Marie?

Marie Mjolnir : I just realized something. Shinra's man-made son isn't a God, it was a heartless that was using as tools or pawns in a corrupt game. Lord Death isn't Lord Death, the Shinigami we knew was his slave, his real name is Darkside Death. That's the entity who was only using us the entire time.

Azusa : You'd think!? So the forces of evil and the conflict between humans and witches...were part of a corrupt game as well?

Marie Mjolnir : Indeed.

Azusa : Why that effin' son of a b*tch! Who does he think he is messing one's people?! We should respect our people too, you know! So this whole conflicting with each of our kind is literally stupid! If wasn't for Maka being in that stupid coma, we would've been dealing with all of that kinda of crap in the first place! Ever since that Legacy made us to defend humanity as the weapons we know, things in the real world starting to get crazy since Shinra's influence made us realize that we were too careless or being self-centered!

Marie Mjolnir : It's preposterous. I agree that we might get it on something. If we can defend something from the true force of evil that is the darkness in all of our hearts, we could find those answers that Truth might win this time. But hey, I can sense a strange feeling...

*Heartbeating+Heart monitoring*

Marie Mjolnir : I can feel it. It's someone's heart.

*DBZ SFX : Surprise*

Marie Mjolnir : It's coming from the cathedral! Down in Downtown St Paul! Quick, Azusa Yumi! We better get there in time! But if we don't make it, Minnesota will be done for! We better find out what's going at the cathedral!

Azusa Yumi : Okay!

*both hop on the motorcycle*

[The Grow Strained Moment by Michiru Yamane]

Marie Mjolnir : Hang on tight!

Azusa Yumi : R-Roger!

*Motor runs off*

Marie Mjolnir : Heh! This is a sweet ride to get to the cathedral on time!

Azusa Yumi : Yeah, but the traffic in the city is down bad!

Marie Mjolnir : But we're about to past through it!

Azusa Yumi : Here goes nothing!

Marie Mjolnir : Yahoo!

Azusa Yumi : Hey, try not to crash this thing, but this is really wild ride!

Marie Mjolnir : Hope you're willing to feel the adrenaline with me, Azusa! Cause it's going for a bumpy ride!

Azusa Yumi : Hope I ain't too nauseated to have a wild ride.

*scene changes to arriving at the Cathedral*

*Tire screeching*

Marie Mjolnir : Alright! We finally made it!

Azusa Yumi : This must be it.

"Cathedral of St. Paul Minnesota*

Marie Mjolnir : Alright. We're going in. Be very quiet, it's the most important sneaky operation to do so.

Azusa Yumi : *nods*

*peaks through the door*

Marie Mjolnir : Hello. Is anyone in there? Hello

Azusa Yumi : Hmmm...The whole place doesn't seem too quiet. Here, I'll get you a direct attention.

Marie Mjolnir : That's my one way ticket. Let's see if anyone's inside the cathedral. Hey, priests. Are you still here. I come from Minneapolis just to see how are you guys doing so well. Maybe, I was wondering if you would--

*opens door all the way*

Marie Mjolnir : *gasped in horror* No way!

Azusa Yumi : What's wrong, Marie? You sound so spooked that the people in this here cathedral are...

[Message by Michiru Yamane]

Azusa Yumi : Sleeping? What happened here? Is everyone in the cathedral all right. I hate the smell of the foul air of darkness, the cathedral hadn't been opened every Sunday.

Marie Mjolnir : We hadn't been coming down to the cathedral since when?

Azusa Yumi : I believe we thought of coming down here in the cathedral on Saturday or Sunday.

Marie Mjolnir : You got that right.

Azusa Yumi : Hey, Yumi. Get a load of this.This must be the priest. He must've died or something before he told us something would might happened at the church.

Marie Mjolnir : So that means...

[Doom's Eye by Jun Senoue]

Azusa Yumi : Everybody's dead.

*Checks pulse*

Azusa Yumi : All of their vital sign dropped to zero. They've lost their light from their hearts.

Marie Mjolnir : But who on earth is doing all the dirty work for the outcomes? Did the Gorgon sisters do this?

Azusa Yumi : No this wasn't by hr Gorgon sisters' doing. It... It's someone else's work.

Marie Mjolnir : But where did anyone get a crazy idea?

Azusa Yumi : This is what we get for protecting that legacy.

*hears footsteps*

Marie Mjolnir : Hey, do you hear that?

Azusa Yumi : Hear what?

Marie Mjolnir : It feels like someone's there.

Azusa Yumi : Hmm? What's this in the priest's hand?

*the dead priest has a Keyblade in his hand*

Azusa Yumi : A Keyblade. I wonder what's it doing here in the cathedral. Why would the priest would want to use a Keyblade to save the others? Hey, Marie? Are you getting something or you got something that is literally bugging you?

Marie Mjolnir : *in horror* No...! It can't be! You were killed in Tokyo six years ago.

Azusa Yumi : Wait, who died in Tokyo six years ago? Come on, Marie. There's no one literally here not even that it's probably just some ghost trying to scare you or something.

Marie Mjolnir : But I don't think that is not a ghost but someone came back to this country to meet us. Yumi, you might wanna turn around and see this.

Azusa Yumi : Alright, Marie! What was it that you wanted to tell me that's--

*DBZ SFX : Surprise*

Marie Mjolnir : Stein!

Azusa Yumi : Stein? As in Dr. Franken Stein!? But what happened to him he did not look like that 10 years ago.

[Mephiles' Whisper by Hideaki Kobayashi]

Stein : Marie. It's me Marie. Good old franken Stein is back from the dead.

Marie Mjolnir : But Stein, you can't be alive, you died! You're dead! How can you still be getting back on your feet?

Stein : I've decided to come back for you.

Marie Mjolnir : Is there a reason why did you come back from the dead, Dr.Stein?

Azusa Yumi : Yeah man! What's the deal? First, I just wanted to know something why did you do all of this? Why did you think that you wanted to kill Medusa that isn't witch, but a heartless born from Darkness. Why would she wanted you to make you go insane? Why protecting Shinra's legacy, the legacy that was the very beginning?

Marie Mjolnir : But...even though that we've been known each other in the past years. I'd still be worrying you about being a russian from a soviet Russia world. But why did you broke up with me? Why on earth did break up with me for Medusa? Why did you care on protecting that legacy, why doing it for shinra?

[Resident Evil 0 OST : ZERO]

Dr. Stein : After our breakup in the 20th century, I realized what the power of the boy's legacy that meant everything for us and Soul Eater. The legacy was the beginning of everything, humans and witches conflicting each other, thought that we were the bad guys. But you're wrong about that. On behalf of the research, I've discovered that the school called the DWMA was part of the boy's former organization, World Heroes Force. But despite the boy's spreading influence, we humans and witches became an arrogant species because of that.

Marie Mjolnir : W-What!? Stein! Do you believe that hurting one's kind is really that bad? Do you wanna risk your life just protect a dumb old legacy!? WHO CARES ABOUT SHINRA!? WHO CARES ABOUT SOUL EATER!? You know nothing about Shinra! His influence was to make us puppets to his man-made son, a heartless who had the keep the truth out of it and make secrets to make the Personal cover ups!?

Dr. Stein : ...

Marie Mjolnir : *clenches fists* Say it...! You're letting these heartless to put an end to this planet! Every story in every world has its end! This is not the difference between me, you, and that heartless snake witch that is ruining our lives! I don't want to work as a tool for the devil's legacy or his son! And I demanded to ask myself to seek into the truth! SPIT IT OUT NOW AND SEEK INTO THE TRUTH! WE ARE TRYING TO SAVE THIS PLANET FROM THE LIKES OF THESE HEARTLESS!

Dr. Stein : ...Maybe you are right. But everyone on this planet is such a fool. Maka, had been too much to be the fool of a hero, her story, her life, her heroism, the shattered resonance within in her heart, everything. She had been risking her own life to be the hero following the boy's footsteps of being a hero. The story, the world, everything in Soul Eater was always a lie, and not just a lie, but a dream.

Marie Mjolnir : A dream? You mean the story and world of Soul Eater was all nothing but a dream.

[Resident Evil 0 OST : ZERO Ver.2]

Dr.Stein : Grim the Hedgehog was afraid that Maka wanted to show how much courage that Shinra had to offer her from his legacy. She was forever to going to be a puppet and was cherished too much. But however, that same day and same time, the Time Eater can have the real Ohkuboverse to be destroyed.

Maka : No please! I just wanted to show the world how much courage I had to offer!

Time Eater : Farewell!

Maka : N-NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

*DBZ SFX : Energy Explosion+Wave*

Maka : SHINRAAAAAAA!!!

*changes back to the present*

Dr. Stein : With the Ohkuboverse expunged, Maka still exists in the real world, but was awoken from a Coma that she was in. Thus, the Ohkuboverse is no more. We it's Inhabitants now lives in the real world for long as we want to.

Marie Mjolnir : Stein...I thought we've been through for around 13 years in the past. It's been so many years. But now, I'm going to take everything back from what Shinra's son stole.

Dr. Stein : Not "steal nor "stolen", reclaiming what is ours for the taking.

[Confrontation with Marcus plays]

Dr. Stein : After the Time Eater and Homura destroyed it, there's only one thing left for me. All of that insanity, all of those crazy stories that lies within the Ohkuboverse, It realize that Madness was just concept from Hercules. But the profound reaches of darkness has finally procreated my only life.

*changes back to Stein*

Dr. Stein : I began to live, thanks to influence of Heartless. Now I have finally began to have our revenge on Homura and the Time Eater, The world and this planet will burn in an spiraling world of hatred! *laughs manically*

Azusa Yumi : You crazy son of a b*tch! You and Shinra's son will pay for what you've done to the truth!

Dr. Stein : If truth was only here, then we'll see which of us is the biggest and somebody on this planet is gonna die! Muhahahahaha--

*suddenly, Dr. Stein goes unstable*

Dr. Stein : *groaning+straining* My...My body! There's something wrong with my body!

Azusa Yumi : Eh?

Marie Mjolnir : What the hell...?

Darkside Death on P.A. : So, Dr. Stein. I entrusted you of becoming Maka's teacher or sensei is what I called what Kakashi sensei is. But you failed to copy him, not even your past mistakes would even call you a mad doctor. But the woman you were in love has broken your heart and now you are forever more human more than what it means to become...Heartless.

Dr. Stein : *strained+retches+vomits out darkness* Curse you, Shinra! This is all your fault for your cursed legacy!! You got me and everyone involved protecting or destroying it! Mark my words, Boy of a devilsh smile, you haven't seen the last of me!

Marie Mjolnir : NO!

Dr. Stein : I thought I would never understand the boy's name. (screams in agony) SHINRAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

*DBZ SFX : Big Aura+Powering up*

Azusa Yumi : Hey, what!?

Darkside Death : Farewell, crazed doctor.

Dr.Stein : *with Dedede's voice* Marie! MARIE, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!?! I'M LOOSING MY SELF!!!

*Dr.Stein starts transforming into a Darkside*

Marie Mjolnir : STEIN!!!

Darkside Stein : (distored voice) Dr. Stein is no more. But you can call me, Darkside Stein, the fusion of HEARTLESS AND FRANKEN STEIN!

Marie Mjolnir : No...No...(yells) NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

"It's all burden that the man I used to love...is no more."

"But the darkness in his heart has rotted away"

"Guess I'm forever lonely now..."

"With nobody to love me anymore."

~ Day 7 : Reunion of a Broken Heart ~

[notsofrozt]

Shrek Script

{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. {Laughing} Like that's ever gonna happen. {Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes} What a load of - Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead The years start comin' and they don't stop comin' Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin' Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored Hey, now, you're an all-star {Shouting} Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold {Belches} Go! Go! {Record Scratching} Go. Go.Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold -Think it's in there? -All right. Let's get it! -Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? -Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. {Laughs} -Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint. Now, ogres - - They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. -No! -They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. -Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! {Gasping} -Right. {Roaring} {Shouting} {Roaring} {Whispers} This is the part where you run away. {Gasping} {Laughs} {Laughing} And stay out! "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." {Sighs} {Man's voice} All right. This one's full. -Take it away! {Gasps} -Move it along. Come on! Get up! -Next! -Give me that! Your fiying days are over. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! -Get up! Come on! -Twenty pieces. {Thudding} -Sit down there! -Keep quiet! {Crying} -This cage is too small. -Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! -Oh, shut up. -Oh! -Next! -What have you got? -This little wooden puppet. -I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. -Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. -Father, please! Don't let them do this! -Help me! -Next! What have you got? -Well, I've got a talking donkey. {Grunts} -Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. -Oh, go ahead, little fella. -Well? -Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - - -That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! -No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. -Get her out of my sight. -No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! {Gasps} -Hey! I can fly! -He can fly! -He can fly! -He can talk! -Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly

Somebody once told me

The world is gonna roll me

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

She was looking kind of dumb

With her finger and her thumb

In the shape of an L on her forehead

Well, the years start coming

And they don't stop coming

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart

But your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see

So what's wrong with taking the back streets?

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey now, you're an all star

Get your game on, go play

Hey now, you're a rock star

Get the show on, get paid

And all that glitters is gold

Only shooting stars break the mold

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. {Laughing} Like that's ever gonna happen. {Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes} What a load of - Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead The years start comin' and they don't stop comin' Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin' Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored Hey, now, you're an all-star {Shouting} Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold {Belches} Go! Go! {Record Scratching} Go. Go.Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold -Think it's in there? -All right. Let's get it! -Whoa.

Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? -Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. {Laughs} -Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint. Now, ogres - - They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. -No! -They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. -Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! {Gasping} -Right. {Roaring} {Shouting} {Roaring} {Whispers} This is the part where you run away. {Gasping} {Laughs} {Laughing} And stay out! "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." {Sighs} {Man's voice} All right. This one's full. -Take it away! {Gasps} -Move it along. Come on! Get up! -Next! -Give me that! Your fiying days are over. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! -Get up! Come on! -Twenty pieces. {Thudding} -Sit down there! -Keep quiet! {Crying} -This cage is too small. -Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! -Oh, shut up. -Oh! -Next! -What have you got? -This little wooden puppet. -I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. -Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. -Father, please! Don't let them do this! -Help me! -Next! What have you got? -Well, I've got a talking donkey. {Grunts} -Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. -Oh, go ahead, little fella. -Well? -Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - - -That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! -No, no, he talks! He does.

I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. -Get her out of my sight. -No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! {Gasps} -Hey! I can fly! -He can fly! -He can fly! -He can talk! -Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! Oh-oh. {Grunts} -Seize him! -After him! He's getting away! {Grunts, Gasps} {Man} -Get him! This way! Turn! -You there. Orge! -Aye? -By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility. -Oh, really? You and what army? {Gasps, Whimpering} {Chuckles} -Can I say something to you? -Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa! -Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. -Oh, that's great. Really. -Man, it's good to be free. -Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? -But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. {Roaring} -Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - - {Mumbling} Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day. -Why are you following me? -I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone There's no one here beside me My promlems have all gone There's no one to deride me But you gotta heve friends - - -Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends. -Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. -Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? -Uh - - Really tall? -No! I'm an orge! You know.

"Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you? -Nope. -Really? -Really, really. -Oh. -Man, I like you. What's you name? -Uh, Shrek. -Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that? -That would be my home. -Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. -I guess you don't entertain much, do you? -I like my privacy. -You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. -Can I stay with you? -Uh, what? -Can I stay with you, please? -Of course! -Really? -No. -Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please! -Okay! Okay! But one night only.

-Ah! Thank you! -What are you - - No! No! -This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. -Oh! -Where do, uh, I sleep? -Outside! -Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. {Sniffles} -Here I go. -Good night. {Sighs} -I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone There's no one here beside me {Bubbling} {Sighs} {Creaking} {Sighs} -I thought I told you to stay outside. -I'm outside. {Clattering} -Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? -It's not home, but it'll do just fune. -What a lovely bed. -Got ya. {Sniffs} I found some cheese. -Ow! {Grunts} -Blah! Awful stuff. -Is that you, Gorder? -How did you know? -Enough! What are you doing in my house? {Grunts} -Hey! {Snickers} -Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table. -Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. -Huh? {Gusps} {Male voice} What? -I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I have to do get a little privacy? -Aah! -Oh, no. No! No! {Cackling} -What? -Quit it. -Don't push. {Squeaking} {Lows} - What are you doing in my swamp? {Echoing} Swamp! Swamp! Swamp! {Gasping} -Oh, dear! -Whoa! -All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! -Quickly. Come on! -No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. -Oh! {Sighs} -Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them. -Oh, gosh, no one invited us. -What? -We were forced to come here. -By who? -Lord Farquaad. -He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice. {Sighs} -All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? {Murmuring} -Oh, I do. I know where he is.

-Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all? -Me! Me! -Anyone? -Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! {Sighs} -Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! {Cheering} {Twittering} -Oh! You! You're comin' with me. - All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! -On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. -Hey. Oh, oh! -I can't wait to get on the road again. -What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Can I hum it? -All right, hum it. {Humming} {Grunts} {Whimpering} -That's enough. He's ready to talk. {Coughing} {Laughing} {Clears throat} -Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man! -You are a monster. -I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me!{Grunts} -I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll - -

-No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. -All right then. Who's hiding them? -Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? -The muffin man? -The muffin man. -Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin man. -The muffin man? -The muffin man! -She's married to the muffin man. {Door opens} -My lord! We found it. -Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. {Man grunting} {Gasping} -Oh! -Magic mirror - - -Don't tell him anything! -No! {Ginerbread man whispers} -Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? -Well, technically you're not a king. -Uh, Thelonius. -You were saying? -What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. -Go on. {Chuckles} -So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. -Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy.

Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! -And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! -So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? -Two! Two! -Three! Three! -Two! Two! -Three! -Three? One? {Shudders} Three? --Three! Pick number three, my lord! -Okay, okay, uh, number three! -Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. If you like pina coladas And getting caught in the rain -Princess Fiona. If you're not into yoga -She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - - -But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. -I'll do it. -Yes, but after sunset - - -Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament. -But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it. -So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. -Uh-huh. That's the place. -Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? {Laughs} {Groans} -Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek. -Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry. -Hey, you! {Screams} -Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - - {Whimpering} {Sighs} {Whimpering, Groans} {Turnstile clatters} {Chuckles} {Sighs} -It's quiet. Too quiet. {Creaking} -Where is everybody? -Hey, look at this! {Clattering, whirring, clicking} Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town Here we have some rules Let us lay them down Don't make waves, stay in line And we'll get along fine DuLoc is perfect place

Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face DuLoc is, DuLoc is DuLoc is perfect ...... place {Camera shutter clicks {Whirring} -Wow! Let's do that again! -No. No. No, no, no! No. {Trumpet fanfare} {Crowd cheering} -Brave knights. -You are the best and brightest in all the land. -Today one of you shall prove himself - - -All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom. -Sorry about that. {Cheering} -That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. {Cheering} -Let the tournament begin! {Gasps} -Oh! -What is that? {Gasping} -It's hideous! -Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. -Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named champion! Have it him! -Get him! -Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. -Go ahead! Get him! -Can't we just settle this over a pint? -Kill the beast! -No? All right then. Come on! I don't give a damn about my reputation You're living in the past It's a new generation -Damn! {Whinnying} A girl can do what she wants to do And that's what I'm gonna do And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me Me, me, me -Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me! And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation

just so everyone knows, there are like 5 other asks with the rest of the Shrek script in my inbox…..

but i’m only posting this one, so you’re all so very welcome!!!

(also thank you so very much @genlossicle, your commitment is astounding and very much appreciated lol)

[saltymongoose]

hi this is frog anon with another brainrotting ask,, mongoose you have reminded me of OFF and the player aus,, so now I have this concept that will keep me up at night /pos ,,, Self-Aware OFF/MadCom Au,,,, The Batter is the Player's first ever vessel? Maybe the others are jealous? I have no idea where I'm going with this but it's stuck in my mind now and I must share it with you,,,

Omg Frog Anon I love this!! You're right in that The Batter was technically the first vessel the Player would've had, if not just because his game came out way before M:PN. I mean, he even has Subject 1v02P_6 beat in this regard, so it's safe to say that the others would be extremely jealous of The Batter since he's had your attention for far longer. It's really the issue of why you'd choose him that nags at them more than anything. What did he have that they didn't?

This just makes me think of what'd happen if they actually met The Batter too. Let's say for brevity's sake that he happened to be dragged into Nevada from an actual glitch or something like that. Bottom line is, instead of coming to their world by yourself, he was at your side, ready to protect you from the impure filth of this wasteland you were in. The Batter is similar enough to them to hog your attention and control as they would, but his own dynamic with you is unique enough to warrant him "special treatment" from you in their eyes.

(Under cut again because there's so much for me to talk about here lol)

More specifically, The Batter recognizes you as his Puppeteer, someone who he trusts implicitly (and more importantly needs) to complete his sacred mission. He's never been really secretive in his motivations either, in fact he's very one-track-minded, which is almost comforting compared to the secrecy of the Employers. Even if you know the full depravity of what he's willing to do to accomplish his goal of "purifying the world", you feel safe with him because he found the mere idea of you being harmed an egregious sin. He'd go through hell to see you uninjured and untainted because he was your puppet, and he was nothing if not dedicated to you and your goals.

In a way, he's similar to Hank in his dedication to his job and the way he views himself as a tool only really capable of destruction, but also mixed with the worshiping factor that Phobos has towards you. You're a bastion of purity after all, so of course you're worthy of no small amount of reverence. But his high regard for you, combined with your history, makes him clash with your grunts in the most annoying of ways. To him, the grunts of Nevada are worthless, impure beings. They weren't worthy of your attention, and he feared that your focus on them would be an unneeded deviation from your mission.

Even worse, their interactions with you could result in their impurity affecting you, and it's with this viewpoint that The Batter would try to prevent the grunts from making any real contact with you. They shouldn't be speaking with you, looking at you, or touching you by any means. This pisses off the grunts more than anything.

The Batter doesn't feel genuine love for you like they do, why should they just concede and give you up? Sure, The Batter was powerful, but he was nothing without you. And he doesn't even have a gun! Why the hell does he think he could adequately defend you in Nevada? It's clear that he must've been too foolish to understand that, and your boys will try to wrench him away from you at any opportunity to show you just how better they are for you. Which is really difficult considering how The Batter's like a bodyguard for you at this point and one who staunchly refuses to leave your side in most circumstances. Besides, if they need anything, they can talk to him instead. He was pretty much your mouthpiece in the last world, there's no reason why you'd have to waste your time on such beings when you had to focus on returning to your respective realities.

Bonus:

The Batter threatening the grunts for "corrupting" you:

You:

[bigfan-fanfic]

Where the Neons Turn to Wood (Male!Reader x August Booth)

Requested by anonymous for You come to Storybrooke to find out what happened to your boyfriend, August Booth

In the circles you run with, people tend to go missing all the time.

You're the ones that slip through the cracks, the ones who have no one but each other. August was yours, like you were his.

At first you wondered if he was cheating on you. He was a little self-conscious of his prosthetic leg, but suddenly he stopped stripping in front of you altogether.

He became more and more secretive, until he vanished one morning, promising he would come back to you. He just needed to go somewhere first. Maine.

It's been a year.

You've been scouring Maine for seven months now, and there's been no trace of August Booth anywhere.

And just as you feel like you've looked every possible place in Maine, you find a small off-ramp into a small town called Storybrooke.

So, this town is... weird. You've been enough suspicious places before, and this takes the cake. As soon as you show up, literally everyone starts to clam up. It's not just regular insular small town clamming up, it's "hiding something" clamming up.

You stop by the Sheriff's office with a picture of August, asking if she's seen him around at all.

Sheriff Swan takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "Sorry, 'fraid not."

It's not like you were expecting something different, but... you know she's lying. And when you say thank you, you know she knows you know.

"Look. You're not going to believe me when I tell you, but, uh... I knew August pretty well. We were in the foster system together. And... well, if you keep looking... you're not really gonna like what you find."

You raise an eyebrow at her. "I have to know. I love him."

"Alright. Come with me."

Emma takes you in her buggy down the road until you reach a handyman's shop. There's an old Italian man named Marco there, showing his young son some of the tools.

Emma turns to you. "Here."

You laugh. "What? Are you telling me August shacked up with a carpenter and adopted a kid?"

Emma looks solemn. "You know August had a wooden leg, right?"

You nod.

"Well... it was... his leg. As in he was literally turning to wood."

"Like some kind of reverse Pinocchio?" you say incredulously.

Emma just freezes for a second. "Well... exactly like that. Because August... he is Pinocchio."

"You're insane." you snap at the Sheriff, stepping back from him. "Do you even hear yourself?"

Emma frowns, pulling out her cell phone. "Uh, Madam Mayor? I need you to, uh.. get here now. Magically. Just do it, Regina!"

Your eyes widen and you scream as purple swirling fog materializes out of nowhere like a miniature tornado - and a well-dressed woman steps out of it. "Now, what was so important that I- oh."

Emma shrugs. "Um, Y/N, this is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Also known as the Evil Queen."

"Like, poison apple Evil Queen?"

The Mayor looks supremely annoyed. "That was one time."

You gulp. "So... August was Pinocchio the whole time. Magic is real, and... now he's a kid?"

Regina sighs. "Earth... this realm. It's the Land Without Magic. Without magic, August slowly started to revert to wood. So he came back here to Storybrooke to try and end his curse. He ended up completely becoming a puppet again."

"Then there was this whole thing, and anyway, August died, but the Blue Fairy's magic turned him into a real boy again... without any memories of being an adult."

"Well, that... sucks." you say, unable to muster much else up.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm not much a fan of the Blue Fairy either." Regina says conspiratorially. "She's posing as a nun if you want to go and punch her."

"I did tell you that you wouldn't like what you found." Emma sighs.

"What, you want some kind of medal, Sheriff?" you snap.

Regina chuckles. "I like you. Look, I know what it's like to lose someone. I know how it feels to be completely helpless to do anything about it. It's the worst feeling in the world. But what more can you do? The spell can't be reversed. And for all intents and purposes... he's happy now. So really... I suppose you just have to buck up and move on."

You give Regina a sarcastic smile. "You really should go on tour with motivational speaking."

She flashes an equally sardonic look at you. "I would, but none of us can leave the town line."

"So... I'm stuck here in the same town where my boyfriend died and got child-ified? That's... really not great."

Regina shrugs. "Well, you might not be trapped. You could try leaving."

"But if you are... then something bad might happen to you if you try to leave." Emma warns.

Regina chuckles. "You know what I find to be the best antidote to grief? Activity. Are you gonna try getting out of here for the rest of your life, or are you going to take advantage of this being the only magical place in your world and try to restore your boyfriend? I'd start by interrogating the fairies at the convent."

You nod. "I like that plan."

Emma frowns, but the Mayor grins and gently takes your arm. "Finally, something interesting in this town."