it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
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i don't personally agree with the perspective that "miguel NEEDS to partially correct about canon events, otherwise he's a villain" because like. setting aside the issue of possibly naturalising the irl choices writers made (e.g. fridging gwen) through the concept of 'canon events', to me defining miguel's morality comes down to two questions:
What is Miguel's intent when pursuing his goal? <- it's unambigiously heroic. he desires to save people. and -
Can I plausibly understand how he has come to the belief system (and therefore goal) he has? Yes. I can understand why, when viewing the things he did (universal patterns of suffering between spidermen & the trauma of that dimension collapse), he came to the conclusion he did.
Keep in mind the other bits of information we and the characters are working with are:
Anomalies seem to affect the world they're in (Vulture appears to affect the Guggenheim's structure w glitches)
They're also in danger of dying if they don't have a stabaliser like the watch
But say for the sake of argument Miguel is completely wrong about breaking canon and doing so would not endanger anyone and the alt dimension collapsed for reasons utterly out of Miguel's knowledge or control. That still doesn't negate the heroic intent he operated by nor his desire to save people.
What "How much or little is Miguel correct?" affects is how tragic it makes Miguel's guilt and the moral concessions he feels that guilt about. Whether you would argue for it being needlessly tragic or bleak is another conversation entirely but how correct he is about what damage canon events cause doesn't actually change the fact he operated on sincerely good and heroic intentions.. And I think atsv already sets up that last point in an understandable manner.
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them having you chill on the side is how they lure you in with a false sense of hope of "it's really not that bad!~" DON'T FALL FOR IT--
but deadass i remember it was like that the first day i was a carhop at sonic, thought it wasn't too bad. literally the next day i had over a 100 separate orders i took out. i worked there for 2 weeks then gave a 2 weeks cause i was too scared to just quite outright LMAO (was my first job at 17)
best of luck to you, and am sending all the good vibes that you get a better opportunity elsewhere!!! 💛🏵
EXACTLY and I fuckin KNOW they’re making it look easier. I’m not quick enough yet to handle a line of people and that’s fine but they haven’t trained me for it yet
The funniest thing is is that so many people quit ALL at he time there and people would keep saying those people who quit were just too lazy and the workload was too hard and blah blah blah
It’s NOT. The “workload” is running around in the same open room or to the kitchen unless you spend your time in the cooler. The main managers just an ass and I have the strongest feeling she’s run out people by being an asshole to them because the second I saw the way she handled me accidentally letting a dude walk out without paying, I knew there and then that I wasn’t gonna be working there long be it that she fired me for the stupidest gd reason or I quit
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First meeting possibly? 👀
I don’t know anything about their storyline yet but you know what’s funny. So far amongst my ideas this isn’t even the rockiest start to a relationship, specifically for Bo 🫡
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fuck meee I got some brainworms at work thinking about a trigun game of thrones au (when house targaryen is ruling westeros because dragons make story go brrr), and just opened a wee word document to throw up some bullet points for this 'WW being Vash's sworn shield in this politically uneasy time' short story, then I blink and it's been 2hrs, I'm dehydrated, there's 10 tabs open about various GOT lore and locations, the document has become two pages long with character backgrounds, motivations and storybeats. sending out a flare for help rn
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[ 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender helps clean receiver after a long day / stressful situation // for kaiya!! maybe when she's covered in bruises too ;; make it a lil angsty
the five senses | @vonerde helps kaiya!
her hands are trembling, but gaia's hands are warm and solid as she leads the demoness to her garden. they're the one thing keeping her teathered to this world, it feels like. it's as if her body is devoid of anything but air, as if she's been hollowed out. she feels empty, and it's odd. it's wrong.
how can she feel nothing when there is one less light in this world, and it's all her fault? how can she feel nothing when their blood stains her clothes, her face? how can she feel nothing when that slayer risked their life to keep her safe -- her, a demon a monster? how...
those warm hands cup kaiya's cheeks, wipe blood and grim away with a soft cloth, yet she does not feel any cleaner. the demoness grabs gaia's hands, eyes finally focusing on her rather than empty space. " i can do it, " kaiya tells her. she doesn't quite recognize her own voice. " you... you were hurt, weren't you? we should... " her chest feels impossibly heavy now, like the absence of feeling has only made it worse. kaiya's words grow shakier as her vision blurs, and her grip upon gaia's hands tighten.
" we should take care of you first. i'm fine. " she's always fine. to fret and worry over her is such a waste -- to care so much as to put one's health after kaiya's is such a damn waste. her shoulders shake, a sob clawing its way out of kaiya's throat as she squeezes her eyes shut. " i'm really fine, gaia, so please--- please, can we..."
she can't get the rest out. it's too much. it's all too much.
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