#I just initialed a couple receipts or whatever

[tame-the-lion-writes]

reader x dog shifter 141 [pt.2]

(If you haven't seen it yet, here's part one.)

It’s been a couple weeks, and you’re starting to catch on to just how smart your dogs are.

Not that you know what they actually are—but they’ve got this weirdly human intelligence behind their eyes, and weirdly human personalities. The Great Dane likes to sit on the recliner in your living room, regal and commanding, often watching your front yard whenever the gardener would come over. The gardener’s son replaced him once for a job, leaving grass cuttings in the driveway, and he was all huffy about it. It amused you at first, but then you realized his judgement wasn’t reserved for strangers. He was even more huffy the time you accidentally burned a steak. (Jeez, since when was he a dad?) Not to mention the empty whiskey glasses he likes to keep around, but that's not right—dogs can't have alcohol, can they?

The German Shepherd, on the other hand, is surprisingly clingy—but not in a bump-into-your-leg or overtly cuddly kind of way. Instead, he follows you while never begging for attention, attentive and patient as though a soldier awaiting orders. You’ve been jump-scared one too many times by his presence, when you think you’re alone and he appears out of thing air. A massive giant of a dog, with paws as silent as a shadow. And he’s stubborn—doesn’t initiate contact, but you swear you’ve caught a subtle bashful glance. Especially when you scratch behind his ears and along the scar of his cheek and chin.

But what the Shepherd lacks in open affection, the Labrador makes up tenfold. He doesn't pester about it, though, simply hopping up to your side on the couch to curl up or placing his muzzle on top of your knees. Still, while probably the most obedient out of the four, you’ve seen him get roped into food heists with the Foxhound, or stalking as closely and silently as the Shepherd. Very much the little brother who tags along with whatever. But you can't stay mad at him for long, either—not when he knows how to apologize—bringing you a freshly chomped-off flower from the backyard whenever you get mad. Then he'll sit at your heels with a faint tail wag, whining 'til you're settled and appeased.

The Foxhound is perhaps the most talkative, in both a noisy and conversational way. His joy is unrelenting around you, and he greats you like you’d expect any other dog. Still, he’s awfully communicative. It’s how you’ve learned their names—with you wandering aloud what to call them, and him making faces at every suggestion. He eventually settled for playing retriever: playing charades by bringing you back bottles and bars of soap. For the Great Dane, he grabbed an old receipt from the trash. For the Shepherd, he threw on a sheet. He seemed awfully confused on what to do for the Labrador, though, and just kept whining as if in apology.

“So Soap, Price, Ghost, and…,” you trail off, glancing at the Labrador with a slight pout. “Oh, I’m sorry, boy. I really don’t know what to call you. And Soap here seems like he’s run out of braincells.”

Ghost snorts in amusement, which is returned by Soap’s unfettered glare.

The next morning, though, there really is no explanation as to how Soap learned the alphabet, how to write, or to arrange your bedsheets in the following name: GAZ.

_

Bonus Thoughts:

"Aha... what the fuck."

Price has face-palmed (face-pawed?) and Ghost just walks over and calmly almost slapstick-esque baps Soap on the head. Meanwhile, Gaz looks dejected, pressing his forehead to the front door, like he's expecting you to kick them out in the next five seconds.

Not that you would, of course—but we can queue the mild horror and existential questioning of what the hell these dogs actually are. You call your friend to rant about your theory—that they could be escapees from a top secret government laboratory, or spies from another country. She just says to enter them into a dog show, or make ‘em celebrities on social media.

[sweetest-honeybee]

them having you chill on the side is how they lure you in with a false sense of hope of "it's really not that bad!~" DON'T FALL FOR IT--

but deadass i remember it was like that the first day i was a carhop at sonic, thought it wasn't too bad. literally the next day i had over a 100 separate orders i took out. i worked there for 2 weeks then gave a 2 weeks cause i was too scared to just quite outright LMAO (was my first job at 17)

best of luck to you, and am sending all the good vibes that you get a better opportunity elsewhere!!! 💛🏵

EXACTLY and I fuckin KNOW they’re making it look easier. I’m not quick enough yet to handle a line of people and that’s fine but they haven’t trained me for it yet

The funniest thing is is that so many people quit ALL at he time there and people would keep saying those people who quit were just too lazy and the workload was too hard and blah blah blah

It’s NOT. The “workload” is running around in the same open room or to the kitchen unless you spend your time in the cooler. The main managers just an ass and I have the strongest feeling she’s run out people by being an asshole to them because the second I saw the way she handled me accidentally letting a dude walk out without paying, I knew there and then that I wasn’t gonna be working there long be it that she fired me for the stupidest gd reason or I quit

[lesbianashleywilliams]

So those of you who have been following me may have noticed that I all but disappeared for about three months...well, that's because I've been planning to go to Japanese language school, and the wheels have really begun to start turning!!!!!!

I have been given the opportunity of my lifetime to be able to attend a Japanese language course at the International Study Institute in Tokyo's Shinjuku Ward. The course runs for a year, with the opportunity to extend it to two years, if my grades and money are sound [insert sound of children cheering here].

Being able to study Japanese locally and long-term has been a life goal of mine since I was fourteen. Though I'll probably never be able to fulfill my teenage dream of being an interpreter/translator for expats, this feels like the next best thing. Due to suffering from several comorbid chronic conditions that have majorly altered my life, most notably the beast known as systemic lupus erythematosus, I will probably never be able to seize another chance like this ever again. I won't be going in as a total novice, as I was able to take a year's worth of 1000-level Japanese language courses in college…before I had to drop out…… Since then I've been self-studying and using language exchange apps for practice, but nothing will beat the experience of using it in the day-to-day.

At this point in time (January 2024), my first six months of tuition have already been paid for. I am currently in a quiet waiting period while I wait to get to the next steps of the Certificate of Eligibility/Student Visa process. Before that, though, I need to secure my flight and housing. For the sake of my health, safety, privacy and comfort, a sharehouse will not be an option; I will have to seek a private apartment. I am here today to request assistance with the aforementioned flight and initial housing costs. It's still too early to commit to either of those, but:

The average cost of flexible one-way flights from where I am to either of the two Tokyo metro airports (Haneda and Narita) is running around $1200

I am doing some preliminary apartment scouting and am hoping not to exceed $800 per month (I will be traveling with suitcases and will need to properly store them). The apartments I am looking at do not require a security deposit or key money, but will probably come with a guarantor fee.

Now because I'm not going over there through one of the more common avenues - through a university or a job - I have to do it myself. Real life has meant that I've had to dig into my bank balance a bit, and after paying for the first six months I'm a little under the 2 million yen (~$14k) threshold that Immigration likes to see for a year's study. I'm lucky enough in that I will at least have a regular source of (unearned) income, as well as a financial sponsor; it's just the bank balance, flight, and accommodation that are hanging me up. Right now I am setting the initial goal at $3000, but I expect to move those goalposts at least once. Any extra will go towards a flight home for the Christmas holidays in December. After that, it'll go towards paying down my credit cards as much as I can prior to leaving the United States.

I can provide my conditional letter of acceptance from ISI, as well as the school invoice and receipt of the bank transfer for the first six months of tuition upon request (identifying information redacted, of course).

Because there's still a couple of months until I'm set to fly out I put together a GoFundMe (now that's a name I haven't used in a while) to idly collect whatever help I can. At the very least I just need this post to circulate enough to eventually cast a wider net outside of Tungle.hell.

GoFundMe

If you can't use GFM, V3nmo and P4ypal are also options:

V3nmo: @/venus3palette

P4ypal: @/fantasytheater

Again: I'm not in that much of a hurry, and the situation isn't dire! Thank you for combing my wall of text!!!!

[chaithetics]

Fics for Palestine! June!🖤❤️🤍💚

Hey Tumblr besties! We did a couple of fics and had some awesome donors in May so let's give it another go - it's a new update for June!

Do you want to support a good cause? Help Palestine and get a fic at the same time? Then please read!

I will write a fic for you with your chosen pairing and whatever prompt you want (it can be vague or specific!) and have it posted on Tumblr no later than June 30th!

All you need to do is send me same-day confirmation/a screenshot of either your receipt or sent email as a private message or in the ask box!

This is fundraising for Palestine, so you could donate to any fund or organisation on the Operation Olive Branch list, eSims for Gaza, UNRWA, Gaza Funds, Palestine Children's Relief Fund, and any other Palestinian fundraisers or organisations you want to support!

As we all have different currencies, all the go fund mes I've donated to have been in USD or Euros, so I'm going to keep this at the tier system is with whatever currency the fundraiser is in. If it is somewhere like UNRWA it can just be whatever your currency is 🥰

For emails, I've made this post on free ways to support Palestine and also this post encouraging American users to contact their senators. You can email your politicians asking for an immediate permanent ceasefire, an increase in UNRWA funding, creating and granting humanitarian visas for Palestinians, recognising Palestine as a state and withdrawing recognition of the state of Israel, placing sanctions on Israel that include economic and political sanctions and military embargo. If you need support with any emails, I'm happy to help! 🫶

Here is my Chaithetics Masterlist for navigation or if you want to get a vibe of my writing x

And here is the Fics for Palestine Masterlist of the fics I've done so far with this initiative.

If so many people responded to this with donations/emails that I became too overwhelmed. I would come up with a new date for some pieces or temporarily close/reopen for others. It didn't happen with the couple of weeks of May but this post will be regularly updated!

Writing!

Characters I'll write for:

Any Pedro Pascal characters

Any Oscar Isaac characters

Any Dev Patel characters

Any Succession characters - we love Stewy here in particular! (just not Logan, Old Guard, or Greg.)

Any Fallout characters

Any The Bear characters

Tommy Miller

Marvel characters like Matt Murdock, Wanda, Bucky etc.

There is more that I can't think of but you're more than welcome to reach out to ask in the comments, DMs, or my inbox before donating or anything! 💞

What I'll write and won't:

I'll write fluff, smut, angst or any combination of your choice!

I can write plus-size readers, disabled readers, poc readers, fem readers, GN readers, keep it description-less, whatever your preference is! I'm bi/queer so I'm happy to write straight pairings or wlw/queer pairings and readers!

I'm just not comfortable and won't write fics that are non-consensual, 'dark', heavy kink, gore, vore, paedophilia, and nothing with under-18 readers or characters (this includes characters 'aged up' for a fic), or actor/celebrity x reader, just their fictional characters.

The Tier System!

If you donate $1 in the Fundraiser's Currency:

You will get a drabble/ficlet 100-500 words long with your prompt and chosen pairing that is posted no later than June 30th.

I know that places like the places like the Palestine Children's Relief Fund will let you donate $1 US but Go Fund Me has a $5 minimum donation for example and some other organisations might as well. But I know that there are content creators on social media like Yuval who are saying you can venmo/paypal them a $1 and they'll take those donations to a go fund me. So you can do that, send me a screenshot of the receipt and maybe just a link to the creator's page so we all know it's legit 🥰

If you write an email to a Politician:

You will get a fic that is at least 500+ words long with your prompt and chosen pairing that is posted no later than June 30th.

You just need to provide a screenshot that has the content of the email, is sent, and has the politician's email address/name visible. You of course can blur out any of your personal details and send this in PM. I'm happy to help draft emails, find resources as well if that's useful!

If you donate $5 in the fundraiser's currency:

You will get a fic that is at least 500+ words long with your prompt and chosen pairing that is posted no later than June 30th.

Just provide a screenshot that's confirmation of your donation.

I'm personally doing a few different $5 donations across different families and I know many are, if you're doing that you could send in different receipts which again could be different fics. And that would apply with other tiers as well!

If you donate $10 in the fundraiser's currency:

You will get a fic that is at least 1,500+ words long with your prompt and chosen pairing that is posted no later than June 30th.

Just provide a screenshot that's confirmation of your donation.

If you donate $20 in the fundraiser's currency:

You will get a fic that is at least 2,500+ words long with your prompt and chosen pairing that is posted no later than June 30th.

Just provide a screenshot that's confirmation of your donation.

If you donate $50 in the fundraiser's currency:

You will get a fic that is at least 7,000+ words long with your prompt and chosen pairing that is posted no later than June 30th.

Just provide a screenshot that's confirmation of your donation.

Since October 2023, over 36,000 Palestinians have been murdered during Israel's genocide and illegal occupation of Palestine, this includes civilians, children, journalists, media personnel, and medical/healthcare personnel. Over 80,000 have been injured and so many Palestinians have been displaced and are trying to evacuate and cross the borders. Israel's ethnic cleansing, numerous war crimes, and colonisation have been terrorising the Palestinian people and land since 1948.

We all have a part to play, so donate if you can, attend rallies, protests, vigils etc, share the content and resources about Palestine, especially what comes from Palestine, make sure you're centring Palestinians and engaging with their content, engage with educational resources, watch and read Palestinian films and books, write to your politicians. We all have a part to play so please do whatever is financially and physically accessible to you x I'd also appreciate it if you could share this post as well! My blog is a much smaller platform compared to many in these communities, and if any other writers wanted to consider doing something similar to this, I'd encourage you to!

Thank you for reading this far, let's stay empathetic and support each other in these difficult times. Free Palestine and all indigenous peoples! 🖤❤️🤍💚pal

[sweaterkittensahoy]

So, something like two or three years ago, I was very active in twitter SVU fandom and very loudly named the names of a set of bullies within that fandom. Specifically, Barisi fandom.

I ended up referring to that group of people as the "Summer Block Party" because not only did they block me (I had receipts; they didn't like that), but they also blocked people they knew were friends of mine who were not directly connected to naming names.

I bring this up because I still follow some SVU people on twitter even though I'm not active in the fandom anymore. But more noticeable than THAT, I DON'T follow a few people I followed after the initial Summer Block Party.

The people I don't follow? The ones who reached out and said, "OMG it's so bad those people were bullying people and you have receipts, but also, they've never been mean to ME, so I'm just going to keep being friends with you both."

And I replied to that as I have my whole life, "Okay. You do whatever you think is best."

But at that point in my life (and at this "gonna be 40 in 2-1/2 hours" point in my life), I knew a ticking clock when I heard one.

Months later, I got attacked by fucking rabid pro-shippers who accused me of a LOT of shitty stuff because I said sometimes art is bad. I did not advocate banning bad art or limiting bad art. I said some art is bad. And that having a personal opinion that some art is bad is perfectly reasonable.

I got harassed for DAYS by a couple of people. DAYS for saying "Sometimes art is bad." Like, they were going back several days and trying to start fights with me over other things I said that they didn't like (anything I said). When I realized they wouldn't just calm the fuck down and leave me alone, I went to block them. And when I went to their pages to block them, I saw that I had mutuals who followed them.

I reached out to those mutuals, and I said, "Hey, this person has been harassing me for days, and you follow them. Wanted to give you the heads up because you may not have seen the behavior, and I figure you don't wanna follow anyone who does this to someone."

The response from everyone who justified the "I can be friends with both of you" when I proved the bullying of the Summer Block Party? Literally every time: "Well, they haven't done anything to ME, so I'm going to stay friends with them."

These were people I'd been friendly-to-friends with for YEARS. I had absolute proof of being harassed. And still, they said, "Well, but they've never done anything to ME DIRECTLY."

As I get ready to turn 40, here's my advice: Never ever fucking trust anyone whose response to proof of someone being shitty is "Well, but they haven't hurt ME."

Because that person can't see past the end of their own nose, and they will NOT be a good and faithful friend to you. They will eventually decide that YOU are the one who is the problem even as you show them unquestionable proof that you are NOT.

[mindy-lichtman]

A little backstory:

Since March 2020 I've been walking from my house to this gas station and using this set route back roads. It's 3 miles to and from the gas station using this route I used for years.

Well, I rest my legs up here for half an hour and then walk back the way I came after getting the fountain drink up here. Circle k carries his fountain drinks called polar Pop. And a little bit of ever dropping but they have this program called sip and save it cost like 8 or 9 bucks but for 30 days straight you get either one free coffee or one free polar Pop a day. I'm on the plan and every time I get paid I make sure to buy it. And make sure I got something caffeine in me for 30 whole days for free. The downside is that you have to have the receipt the initial receipt when you get it because sometimes the circle k systems will register you as not having sip and save and thus showing that receipt to them will clear up the situation and you'll be able to get your free whatever you want polar pop or coffee.

So back to my story, I went from 220 lbs years ago and with my exercise walking and my working at a food store called publix, I dropped my weight down drastically from 2:20 to 160 it took about a couple years but it was well worth it. I wouldn't give it up for the world.

A dark side to the story is that connect to mine from last year went and sabotaged my name for over 3 months and we still people stalking another dude and the people every time they see me taking my backwards like normal dude just outdo my exercise walk, they would like yell at me to harass me and intimidate me from walking and backwards anymore. I guess to make sure that I have no hobbies in my life that guarantee my happiness piece. All I do is in my thoughts in my head I flipped the bird to who's ever yelling at me and still continue to do my walks anyway. Because I'm doing it for my physical health and nothing more so I'm not harming anybody but being out and about and walking so those people can pound sand.

Oh, there is actually a backstory to the couple pictures of The greenery. That's actually a grown over storm ditch which back in 2020 wasn't that overgrown. But the first night in March 2020 I did my fitness walk down the road which is called alligator boulevard, there was this big scary broncos Jeep coming down the road and then all sudden when they caught side of me, they kept going up and down the road and hiding up roads well I wasn't having any of it so when I seen that ditch by chance when they went up one road I went ahead and wrote quickly duck down and slid down into the ravine and then I waited myself out on my stomach and I was out of you as the driver is a bronco. And then all sudden back and forth so you can hear it going back and forth like looking to see where the hell I went. Good times!

I haven't actually had any bad stuff happening to me when I'm walking at night. I mean, if you count the time I was walking home from work Halloween night 2021 and got into a bad pedestrian accident, then yeah that counts. But other than that nothing really scary's ever happened. The people that were yelling and shouting at me for a month and a half straight at night for seeing me doing my exercise wall, that wasn't scaring me, that was actually honestly pissing me off.

[blahandwhatever]

Gifts from the wormhole today!

I was trying to find the instruction manual for my vacuum cleaner because it had been releasing some very bad smells, and I thought it was probably time to do some maintenance. I searched through the kitchen drawers where I keep some instruction manuals and mail and stuff and could not find it. Decided to check if some things had maybe overflowed to behind the bottom drawer. Indeed, some old mail and receipts had made their way back there, along with a couple of kitchen towels that were, until today, not mine.

I don't know you, but I like you! Thanks for coming.

Never did find the vacuum manual, but I found a PDF online. Turned out I was supposed to clean the filters every three months. It had been, probably, a couple of years. So I did that.

I also finally tackled the assembly of my new cabinet. Much thought and inaction happened before anything else did. Occasionally, I'd come peruse the overwhelming manual a bit, mess around with some pieces, think about how and in what order/orientation to approach things so as to avoid the impossible-for-one-person heavy lifting situation at the end that following the manual precisely would result in, and/or question whether this was even The One for 10-20 minutes at a time. Eventually, I had a passable understanding, a loose plan, and (after browsing the selection online just one more time) relative conviction about wanting to keep this piece.

The first steps that had initially stumped me turned out to be the most confusing of all. I kinda winged it there because I just could not make things align with what was depicted in the manual. Other steps were also sometimes unclear but ultimately decipherable and free from problems like missing holes. A few pieces didn't have quite the right dimensions, but they were relatively low-impact and out of sight, so I could deal with it. All I really care about is that things are neat and aligned on the outside. I still have some work to do before I can be sure about that, but I got through way more of the assembly today than I'd expected, and I am very pleased.

Also had to give the beloved ivy on my windowsill a big haircut because I'd neglected it a bit, and a lot of the leaves had dried out. It looks a little sad compared to its former glory, and I feel really bad about letting it come to this - but it's still much bigger than it was when I first bought it, so hopefully its journey back to its best self won't be too long. It's so fucking easy to water my plants, but sometimes the devil in me is like, 'weeeell, nothing's gonna happen if I put it off for a little bit...' and before I know it I'm in the habit of watering my plants at much too indulgent intervals, particularly this one, which gets hidden and forgotten about behind the curtain at night. And then my all-time favorite beautiful precious beloved starts to die. :o Thanks, reality, for setting me straight on the well-known and obvious facts.

I felt pretty gross most of this week but did decidedly better on days when I slept less, like so many times before. Glutathione has been a real pal through all this - whatever it is this time. Today was my first day feeling and functioning relatively close to normal.

[isagisyoichi]

0X1=LOVE SONG (I KNOW I LOVE YOU)

SYNOPSIS: little things they do when they’re in love.

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: isagi, bachira, niko, chigiri, raichi, nagi, sae, reo.

WARNINGS: none i think

A/N: part 2839933 of me cleaning out my drafts

ISAGI YOICHI:

always remembers to grab some of your favorite candy whenever he’s at the gas station. still has the receipt from your first date together. unironically looks for his and your initials whenever he sees one of those “these initials are soulmates 😦” tiktoks that were obviously made by 12 year olds. i mean, isagi already believes you two are made for each other, but you know, extra reassurance never hurts.

BACHIRA MEGURU:

buys cringey couples clothes “ironically,” or so he says. tries makes you wear them with him in public. resist his puppy eyes for the sake of your dignity. talks to his mom about you often, with a permanent lovelorn lilt in his voice as he raves about you. his mom's been planning your guy's wedding in her head for months now. lets his guard down with you. puts away his happy-go-lucky persona for a while and lets himself cry in your arms about the things that hurt him in the past, because he knows he’ll be okay as long as he has you.

CHIGIRI HYOUMA:

lets you, and only you, touch his hair. will let you braid it, tie it up, whatever, as long as you're being careful, of course. likes to read to you while you rest your head in his lap. used to roll his eyes when he heard the cheesy love songs blasting from his sister’s room but now, chigiri finds himself smiling at the sound (even though he'd rather die than tell anyone that). it’s because he finally understands what they’re talking about, what love is about, and it’s what he has with you.

RAICHI JINGO:

gifts you a necklace with a little “j” on it, so you can have a little part of him everywhere you go. and because he loves the way the silver pendant glistens when you talk to another guy. never fails to hype you up in your instagram comments. does the absolute most to talk to you when his phone is taken. makes a google doc so you guys can talk on that, emails you on his school account, gets a backup phone LOL. raichi’s living proof of “if he wanted to, he would.”

NAGI SEISHIRO:

you’re the only person he answers when he receives a facetime call unannounced. the type to have four different conversations with you on four different messaging platforms. y’all are arguing on snap but playing 8ball on imessage 😭 puts you on to his music. nagi is a huge gatekeeper for no reason, but you’re the one person he deems worthy enough to share his musical knowledge with. it's his way of telling you that you're special to him in a way no one else is.

ITOSHI SAE:

has playful arguments with you all the time. he’s always liked how you’re one of the few people capable of keeping up with his neverending spiel of sarcasm. has no problem complaining to the chef when your order is wrong, even if you insist it’s okay, because to sae, it’s not. to him, you only deserve the best. lets his ice cold exterior melt when he’s alone with you. he smiles genuinely, lets out slight chuckles at your lame jokes, speaks without insulting someone after every other sentence, just softens up so much around you. you’re good for him, you know that?

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE:

doesn’t mind when you hog the blanket. in fact, he’ll let you have all of it, even if it means he’ll be freezing. keeps a picture of you in his wallet. blushes when people see and asks if that’s his significant other. never fails to make you breakfast whenever you spend the night with him. makes you daydream of a future where you can look forward to his cooking everyday.

MIKAGE REO:

pins your conversation with him on imessage. will happily make any and all corny couples tiktoks with you. y'all have even gone viral a couple of times which have earned comments from nagi about how you two have “gone hollywood” on him 😐. the type to chat your dad up about stocks and stuff to kiss up to him, but reo actually knows what he’s talking about. your dad had accepted reo’s position as his future son in law within ten minutes of meeting him.

NIKO IKKI:

seriously relies on those “wiki-how” articles for relationship advice because he doesn’t trust his friends but, he does want to know to make you happy. when he holds your hand, niko rubs his thumb against the back of your palm. lets you take him out of his comfort zone. even though he’s rather rigid with his limits, niko finds himself loosening up in your presence, allowing himself to experience more of what life has to offer. as long as you're by his side, of course.

[onyxbird]

Hell AU thoughts after re-reading the bit about the Nigerian Job and other team payouts in @darkfinch's early posts on the idea, and what happens to Eliot's share of the money.

The Nigerian Job payout is probably a loss.

Moreau would have known about the initial promised paycheck from Dubenich, and Eliot would have to explain what happened when everything went pear-shaped, with the fact that they punished Dubenich and made a fortune off his demise being one of the strongest arguments that Eliot made the right call in sticking it out rather than abandoning the others and going back to Moreau to plan to bury Dubenich in their own way.

Plus, even if Moreau didn't know about the final payout, Eliot still considered himself to be solidly Moreau's at that point, and he'd be playing with fire if he tried to deliberately hide the funds, even if he were tempted.

Money from later in Leverage's operations is a different story.

They don't charge a standard fee that would come in at predictable intervals that Moreau would miss. Often most or all of what they steal goes directly to their clients or other victims. But, Eliot would still have the problem of being able to hide any money he received well enough to ensure Moreau would never find out.

What if he never got the money, though? What if, after a few times of the team getting a payout (with Eliot's portion dutifully handed over to Moreau), he "casually" tells Hardison to put his portion towards something else? Maybe something for their offices. Or something extra to help some of the victims. Or just to donate to some charity ("No, I don't want any receipts! Do it anonymously! I don't want that linked back to me!"). Anything to redirect it to somewhere it'll do some good rather than fund Moreau, without it ever touching Eliot's accounts.

Hardison knows something is up. Eliot's being awfully weird about it, and seems really unhappy for someone taking the opportunity to donate a whole heap of money to worthy causes because he thinks it'll do more good there. But Eliot's snappish when he tries to ask anything, so Hardison obligingly distributes Eliot's share as instructed and just starts paying a little more attention to what he can see of Eliot's finances.

And it's weird. Eliot's doesn't spend much; he doesn't have a ton of apparently expensive stuff, but the only accounts he ever seems to touch don't have a ton in them either. (Relatively speaking--he's always got ample funds, but not "this guy is worth 10s of millions of dollars" ample.) As far as a virtual footprint goes, it's like Eliot's first payout and any other significant savings just don't exist, unless he cashed it out and stored it in gold bullion or something.

So after a couple instances of Eliot not accepting his share, Hardison very casually floats a "Sure, man. But you haven't taken anything from the last 3 payouts--you sure you don't need to top up any of your emergency funds or anything? I can split it up any way you want."

Eliot's face does something really weird in response to that, and Hardison knows he's on to something. He doesn't know what is going on, but whatever it is, Eliot's not giving the money away just because he's feeling flush and charitable. So Hardison pushes a little. "Look, I can drop it into a brand-new account if you still don't trust me with your emergency accounts. You can move it wherever you like from there."

Eliot never touches the money in the new account.

He can't, since he says he'll get the account info from Hardison "later" and then never does. Hardison doesn't bring it up--he knows Eliot hasn't forgotten about the account, because every time there's a team payout, he tells Hardison how much to put in the "emergency account" versus something else. If he hasn't asked the account info, it's because he doesn't want to be able to access it.

Eliot asked for the balance once, as they gathered for the first new job after a break, seeming kind of stressed. Hardison told him and asked if he needed the account info. "Oh, not now. I'll get it from you later."

So Hardison just keeps maintaining the account. He makes sure the identity linked to it is squeaky clean and the taxes are paid. He spins off a couple of other accounts as it grows so the money isn't all in one place where it could all be drained by a single attack.

At some point after the truth comes out, he asks if Eliot wants the account details now. Eliot's a little shocked that Hardison is still willing to hand it over after his betrayal. He's even more surprised by how much money there is after all this time. (Eliot's pretty sure that there is more money than there should be. Hardison refuses to comment.)

[chalkrevelations]

So, I honestly think that the scene at the bar is one of the - if not the - best scenes in this ep. And there’s a couple of things going on, and one of them is adorable, but the other is extremely unsettling.

1) I love the naturalness in this scene, and I think a LOT of that is down to Apo. Acting on this show is generally good, but I think he’s far and away the best they’ve got, which probably makes sense, given he’s a veteran actor. I know I’ve said this before, but the way he physically inhabits Porsche is a delight, from the headtouches as he greets both Jom and Yok to the way he flips off Jom and tells him to keep drinking. It feels real, like it’s a real person and not a character on-screen, in contrast to the way a lot of the rest of this ep feels just ... slightly ... mannered, like they’re trying just the tiniest bit too hard? I just. This scene at the bar is so so so well acted, and again, particularly by Apo, and other scenes have a ton to match up to. Nothing feels calculated or scripted or choreographed when Porsche facepalms himself as Yok tries to suss out who he’s in love with. All of the conflicting emotions he’s dealing with are portrayed beautifully without being overacted or overemphasized. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, APO. Also, the interaction is really nice - I get the sense that, yes, this is Porsche’s family - what family he has other than Chay - the family he’s built for himself.

2) This scene goes on my list of receipts for how Vegas is a just a mirror of Kinn, once we get to the Vegaspete storyline. Vegas may literalize the bonds, once he gets Pete into the dungeon for whatever initial interaction we’re going to see, but a little bit I’m breaking out in hives over the abusive aspects that we continue to see in the Kinnporsche relationship. Porsche had to lie and tell Kinn that Yok - the person who’s essentially acting as at least an older sister, if not his mother-figure here - had major surgery in order to be allowed to leave the Major Family home. He’s still being denied his phone, and he has no way to contact the outside world that isn’t monitored. His excuse to Yok is that Kinn is “afraid that I might wander around.” WT actual F? Are you not a grownass person? If one of my friends told me all this about their SO, I would start putting together the emergency stash of documents and money for when they finally decided to leave his ass in the middle of the night with one suitcase and an overnight bag. Yes, these are the rules that the bodyguards agree to, but first of all, Porsche was never able to make a free choice about being a bodyguard, from the moment Kinn literally said “Nice bar you got here, be a shame if something happened to it” like a two-bit gangster, then had a bag put over his head and kidnapped him. Secondly, they are well past being able to pretend that Porsche is just one more name on the roster of the Bodyguard Farm. All of this is creepy enough when it’s how you treat your employees - “your life is mine” might as well be “I own you” - it’s exponentially worse when it’s how you treat your SO. This is why you don’t fuck your boss, and this is why you don’t fuck your employees. I mean, this is not the only reason, but it’s a pretty good one. And all of this is just slipped into this bar conversation in a brief interlude between the unrelenting candyfloss of the rest of this episode, and I’m left wondering how much the show is silently mouthing “HELP ME” at me in the 30 seconds Kinn happens to be looking away.

[droolingoverfanfics]

Wedding Night

> Alice in Borderland <

Requested by: @praiapersephone

Hi! Can I request an imagine where Chishiya and the female reader is on their first wedding night. Like it will be their first time to do it as a couple coz we know that Chishiya lacks sex drive (I mean you know he rarely show emotions so yeah he must be uninterested being intimate) and the reader is too shy to initiate something on Chishiya. Thank youuuu!

A/N: Sure thing! Sorry it took me so long. I got carried away with their foreplay..so yeah. It is longer than expected. I do hope you enjoy it, though!

Pairing: Chishiya x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff

Wordcount: ~2.1k

Warnings: Oral Sex, Dom/Sub, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Finger Fucking, Swearing, Bad Language, Foreplay

It is late at night when you and your newly wed husband enter your shared flat. You step out of your medium high heeled shoes and sigh with relieve, what a pain it was to wear them during the ceremony, but they suit your wedding dress perfectly. You turn to your husband, but he is already in the bedroom, getting rid of his suit and tie, stripping down so that only his boxers are left and sits down on the bed. You blush at this sight, it is not like you have not seen him like this before, but this is the first time seeing him like this as his wife.

Unsure of what to do next, you slowly move into the bedroom too, around to your bed and bend down to the small lamp on your night stand, to bring some light into the dark room. As soon as the bulb lights up, you can see Chishiya staring at you. “Is something wrong?”, he asks with the same tone he always uses, it sounds so calculating and monotone. It makes you even wonder why he lays there in his boxers only, he must be up to something.

“Could you..help me get out of this dress and corset that is underneath? It is hard to untangle alone”, you ask timidly, while not looking at him directly and biting your lip. I could easily do it alone, but I want him to touch me, you think to yourself, in hopes he does not realize that the dress is that easy to open. “Turn around”, he orders you and you quickly obey, letting out a breathe you didn't realize you held in. You get comfortable on the edge of the bed and wait, until he starts working on your dress. You can feel his fingers grazing your soft skin occasionally, which sends shivers down your spine and you try your best to suppress sighing with how good the close contact feels.

You feel the dress and corset loosen more and more, until they hang loosely around your frame, exposing more of your delicate skin. “Th-thank you..”, you mumble and get up, pressing the fabric against you, making your way over to your bathroom, but you stop as soon as you hear his voice. “What are you doing?”, he wants to know, but simultaneously sounds not much interested in your actions.  You turn around and stare at the ground. “I..uh wanted to get changed..into something more..uh comfortable”, you explain while stuttering. “In the bathroom?”, Chishiya continues to question you. You nod, “Yeah, I always changed there.”

He moves to sit on the edge of the bed and looks at you, a smirk plastering his face. “I want you to change in front of me, no, to strip in front of me. I want to see this new lace underwear you bought for our wedding night”, he requests.

You just stand there, staring at him in shock. You didn't even tell him you bought new underwear, you kept it a secret, hiding them underneath everything else and immediately throwing away the receipt after buying them. But now is the moment you were waiting for. Your wedding night. Your first time with Chishiya. You take a deep breath and let go of your dress, letting it slide down to the ground, followed by your corset. You carefully step out of it and make your way over to where your husband sits, now only dressed in your white lace underwear.

Chishiya just looks you up and down, without saying a word. After a while you get nervous and start playing with your fingers, not daring to look at him any further. When he finally breaks the silence, he pulls you down to him and whispers in your ear, “You look good, kitten.”

You find yourself sitting on his lap, wrapping your arms and legs around him and giving yourself fully into him. His words alone send shivers down your spine right to your most sensitive part between your legs, you feel yourself starting to get wet within seconds. Chishiya places soft kisses on your neck, biting and sucking on it occasionally, leaving his mark, until he hits that soft spot which earns him a moan from you.

You can feel his erection grow beneath you and instinctively start to grind your hips against him, making him grunt. You can feel how he grabs your ass and moves the both of you from your sitting position to a laying position, you on top of him, which makes his erection more prominent to you. The next second you can feel his lips press against yours, kissing you passionately while at the same time unclasping your bra and sliding it off your arms, then throwing it away.

You feel his tongue brushing your lips and open your mouth a little for him, giving him way to fight with your tongue over dominance. During your make out session you continue to grind against his erection, which makes you moan because of all the new sensations you can feel throughout your whole body. Encouraged, you break away and start kissing down his neck to his chest and grab the hem of his boxers, crawling between his legs in the process. You look up at Chishiya, waiting for some sort of reaction.

He looks at you, anticipation glistening in his eyes, ready for whatever you are planing. You really have no idea what you are doing, so you hope that he will guide you, but it does not look like it. You slowly drag his boxers down and finally free his already with pre-cum leaking dick. You gulp at the sheer sight of his size and toss his boxers somewhere out of sight. Careful not to hurt him, you wrap a hand around his erection and give it a gentle stroke, which makes your husband groan in pleasure. You add your other hand start pumping his cock with both hands, varying in speed and pressure, to see what pleasures Chishiya the most.

You soon find a rhythm that he seems to really like and decide to go one step further, taking the tip in between your lips and to gently suck it, occasionally tasting his dick with your tongue and licking it up and down, before you take him more and more into your mouth.

When you finally find your flow, you feel Chishiya's hand on top of your head, stopping you. “You want me to finish off that quickly, without pleasing you first?”, he teasingly asks you, panting slightly because of how good you make him feel. You look up at him, giving him an innocent smile and let go of his cock “Lay down”, he demands and you obey immediately, excited for what is to come next.

His hands travel across your body, caressing your soft skin carefully and teasing you, gently rubbing circles here and there, to test where your most sensitive spots are and you humming in response. After some exploration, Chishiya begins to trail kisses down your neckline, down to your breasts, licking over your nipple, then he abruptly sucks it between his lips and gently bites down on the soft flesh, making you moan, while he cups the other one with his hand and gently massages it.

After a few moments he changes sides and does the same procedure to the other nipple, giving it some attention too. You try to grind your hips against him, but he pushes you roughly down, signalling that he is not done yet. He continues to kiss down your belly until he reaches your lace tanga, hooks his fingers into it and drags it painfully slow down your legs, to your ankles and throws it away, leaving you naked. You feel your cheeks heat up and you try to push your legs together, put he sits in between them and is way stronger than you.

His hand trails upwards, from your feet towards your already wet pussy, you are getting wetter the closer he gets. Your breath hitches, watching Chishiya's hand finally reaching your wet core, slowly dragging his fingers through your folds upwards to your clit, making you moan loudly. “You are already so wet for me”, he says with an amusing tone in his voice, looking down on you.

Chishiya starts rubbing circles on the most sensitive part of your body, watching you squirm and moan under his touch. He then pushes one of his fingers into you, giving you a second to adjust to the new sensation of having something inside you. You are already overwhelmed with emotions and feelings and really enjoyed the feeling of his finger inside you, you couldn't wait to find out how his cock would fill you up.

After a few moments, Chishiya starts pumping his finger into you, while his other hand is massaging your breast, occasionally pinching your nipple, which gains some high pitched moans from you. You try to get a hold by grabbing the bedsheet underneath you, buckling your hips up to meet his movement. He then enters a second finger and adds some pressure on your clit with his thumb. You can already feel a strange feeling build up in your stomach. “Ch-Chishiya-ah! It-it feels so g-good!”, you manage to bring out between moaning. Only seconds later your first climax washes over you, but Chishiya gives you no time to ride it out, his fingers simply penetrate you further.

Your husband smirks, looking down on the moaning mess he created. Your moaning only intensifies. “P-please, Ch-Chishiya! Fuck me, already!”, you beg, panting heavily.

“Only because you asked yo nicely, kitten”, he replies, his fingers retreating from your soaking pussy.

He reaches over you to the night stand and grabs a condom from the drawer, carefully opening it and the rolling it over his dick. Chishiya positions himself in front of your entrance and looks at you. “This might hurt now, like a lot. Just warning you”, he states, before slowly pushing himself inside of you, bit after bit. And it really hurt. You feel tears forming in your eyes and claw at the bedsheets, in order to ease the pain. You try to breathe as normal as possible and adjust to his size and it is really helpful that he waits before he starts moving.

Minutes pass by and you give him a weak nod. He begins rocking his hips at a slow pace at first, so that you can get used to it. After a while you let go of the bedsheets and wrap your arms around Chishiya instead, coming to enjoy the feeling of his cock penetrating you. He sees this as a sign to go faster and increases his speed, gaining a loud moan from you and making him groan in pleasure.

“You are so fucking tight”, he compliments you, pounding harder into you, increasing the volume of your moaning drastically.

He locks eyes with you as he penetrates your inner walls. You try to get a hold on anything, clawing his back, knowing that this is most likely to leave some marks, but you don't care.

You feel the same feeling like before building up in your stomach with each thrust and when he stops to drape your legs over his shoulder and slams into you again, you can not hold back any longer. You scream his name in ecstasy, the knot in your stomach building more and more the harder he pounds into you. You can feel him deep in your pussy, touching all the right spots over and over again, sending you over the edge and seeing stars.

“Ch-Chishiya!”, with one last scream of his name you feel the sensation of your second climax crushing down on you and wave after wave is washing over you, while Chishiya is still thrusting deep into you, but you can feel that he gets more sloppy with each thrust. He pumps himself a few more times into you, before you can feel how his seed is filling the condom and he comes with a loud grunt, head hanging low.

After a few moments he pulls out of you and walks into the bathroom, not coming out for the next few minutes. But when he comes back he has a slightly wet towel with him and begins to clean you up, without saying a word. You just lay there, motionless and let him do.

You watch him as he climbs back to you and lays down, waiting for you to get comfortable and snuggle up to him, until he drapes the blanket over the both of you.

“I love you”, you mumble, as you close your eyes, to get some peaceful sleep after such an eventful day.

“I love you, too”, is all you can faintly hear, as Chishiya starts to rub small circles on your back and you fall asleep.

[teenwolffanclub-me]

How Drunk Are You? (Stiles Stilinski x Reader)

Summary: You and your best friend, Stiles, can’t decide who’s more drunk after a night out with the pack. It doesn’t take long for your little competition to get out of hand.

Word count: 4,752

Warnings: drunk (but consensual) sexy times

Notes: I got this idea while drunk and may have gotten a little carried away but this one really just spoke to me so here ya go 😅

———————————————————————

You tumble out of the Uber, nearly falling flat on your face before a firm hand juts out of the car to steady you.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N.” Stiles chuckles from behind you as he steps out onto the sidewalk. “You’re way more fucked up than I thought.”

You twirl around to face him, nearly losing your balance for the second time. You furrow your brows and poke a finger into his chest harshly.

“You, sir, are wrong. I’m completely sober.” You wobble a bit in your heels, and he just rolls his eyes before slamming the car door shut and waving off your driver.

He takes only one step forward before his knees buckle, almost sending him crumpling to the ground beside you. He puts a hand on your shoulder to steady himself, breaking into a fit of giggles at his own intoxicated state. He’s trying to be the responsible one but honestly, he may be more gone than you.

You can’t help but laugh along with him as you help each other to your front door. Once there, you try turning the knob before realizing with a huff that you have to unlock it first. You let go of Stiles, who nearly loses his balance again, to rummage through your purse for the keys.

The bag suddenly seems endless as you shove receipts, sticks of gum, lip gloss, and other random shit out of the way to find your keychain. Finally, after what feels like several minutes to your drunk brain, you find them.

“Ah ha!” You call triumphantly and hold them up against your dim porch light.

“Hey. I’ll prove I’m more sober.” Stiles perks up with an idea, his caramel eyes dancing with amusement. “I bet I can unlock the door without looking.”

A laugh bubbles in your chest at the image of him doing that, and you instantly hand him the keys. You don’t think he’s actually coherent enough to succeed, but you know it’ll be entertaining to watch him try.

He waggles his eyebrows at you as he takes the keys and turns so that his back is to the door. He fumbles around blindly, chewing on his bottom lip in concentration. Your breathing slows as your eyes track the movement. You swallow thickly, feeling the familiar attraction you have for your best friend—that you usually keep tightly packed away—rise to the surface.

Admittedly, you’re a horny drunk. You can’t help but flirt with everyone and anyone you encounter while out partying, including your best friends that you’d never consider sleeping with, not even while intoxicated. But Stiles was a different story.

You’d been attracted to the spaz since you met him freshman year, although it was clear nothing was going to happen due to his obsession with a certain raven haired beauty. That was a couple years ago at this point, and he’d moved on, but the two of you were much too close to act on any lingering feelings now.

You laugh again as he continually fails to unlock the door, and decide to help him out. You lean forward, your chest only an inch away from his, and wrap your fingers around his hand. He stiffens against you, but you don’t notice through your drunk haze.

You peer over his shoulder and guide the key to where it needs to be, easily unlocking the door within seconds.

“You lose.” You quip, standing up straight to smirk at him before popping the door open and skipping inside.

What you don’t see is the way Stiles stands there for several moments collecting himself. You hadn’t even done anything, he thought. You’d barely touched him and here he was, clutching his chest in an effort to slow his racing heart. He was so screwed, being alone with you right now, but he was also way too drunk to do anything about it.

He clears his throat and finally walks inside, closing and locking the door behind him. Even while completely plastered, he knows a random supernatural creature could attack at any moment. Not that a wooden door would do much to keep them out, but the action was just muscle memory at this point.

He finds you lounging on the couch, your legs dangling over the armrest. He scratches at the side of his head as his eyes trail over you, trying his best not to make his simmering lust obvious. You were easily the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and that was when you were wearing sweats.

Right now, with you laying there, your skirt riding up and your breasts peaking out from the low neckline of your crop top, he was finding it hard to control his attraction.

“It’s my turn.” You push yourself up onto your elbows and let your eyes sweep around your living room and kitchen. “I bet I can make the fries I have in my freezer without burning the whole place down.”

Stiles groans excitedly at the idea. Anything greasy sounds like the absolute best thing he could put into his stomach right now. He nods encouragingly and you sway to your feet, giggling as you almost fall once again. You take a detour and slide your heels off at the front door, sighing with content as your feet finally relax.

He follows close behind you as you prance your way into the kitchen, telling himself it’s to keep you safe but knowing it’s actually because it gives him an amazing view of your ass. You preheat the oven and pop the freezer open before crouching down to rummage through your cabinets for a pan.

Stiles wants to avert his eyes. He wants to be a respectable young man and not openly gawk at his best friend, but he can see the edge of your red lacy panties with you bending over like that. He chews on his bottom lip and watches as you search for whatever it is you’re looking for. He can’t even remember what you’re supposed to be doing with your body on display like that.

You finally find the right pan for the job and pull it out with a triumphant smile before standing upright, much to Stiles’ dismay. You place the baking sheet on the stovetop and pour out a heaping pile of fries before resealing the bag and putting them away.

You turn on your heel to face your best friend, who was still somewhat in a daze, giving him jazz hands with a big grin.

“Ta-da!” You bounce your way over to the large island in the middle of your kitchen, proud of yourself for completing the first step of your bet.

Stiles’ hooded eyes follow you, his heart racing in his chest. He honestly can’t believe how lucky he is to call you his best friend. The two of you—along with the pack of course—had gone through so much the last few years. It was a miracle any of you were still alive, although not all of you were.

It was with the realization, that life is short and that he loves the shit out of you, that he decides to throw caution to the wind. You jump up onto the island, blissfully unaware of the breakthrough he just made. He gulps, the sight of you level with him now, your mini skirt all hiked up around your thighs and your tight crop top giving him a peak of midriff almost too much to handle.

He isn’t sure if he’ll regret this in the morning, but he’s also too drunk to care. Right now, he wants you more than he’s ever wanted anything. He walks toward you slowly, his eyes trailing up and down your form as if it’s the first time he’s seeing it.

Your brows furrow at his sudden change in demeanor, the darkness swirling in his caramel eyes too hard to decipher from this distance. You watch closely as he moves forward until he’s only a foot away. He leans down, still taller than you even while you’re sitting on the counter, each of his hands bracing against the marble beside your hips.

“Stiles...?” Your voice trials off in question as you search his face.

“I bet,” He swallows down the last bit of hesitation bubbling in his throat and lets his eyes flutter down to your lips. “You won’t kiss me right now.”

Your breath catches at his words. Your eyes widen and you aren’t even sure you heard him correctly. Your mind instantly starts racing with questions. Is he just saying this because he’s drunk? Or could he possibly return the feelings you’ve been harboring for years?

To be completely honest, you don’t really care. You’ve wanted him for so long, and he looks ridiculously enticing in his red flannel and black bomber jacket. It was the alcohol that made you do it, sure, but it was more so the fact that you’ve wanted to kiss this man since you met him.

You cup the sides of his face and jerk him down to you, closing those last few inches. Your lips wrestle with his and he stiffens against you as if surprised, despite being the one to initiate this. The kiss isn’t pretty. It’s messy and heated. A battle of tongues and teeth as both of you fight for dominance.

One of his hands moves to your exposed knee, the other gripping your waist firmly. He lets out a broken moan against you, his head tilting to give him more room to devour you. Your hands tangle in his hair and you arch into him as his long fingers tentatively slide beneath the edge of your crop top.

Internally, he’s freaking the fuck out. He didn’t think you’d actually do it. He fully expected you to laugh the bet off and move on, but here you are. Kissing the shit out of him. He knows that he will never be able to come back from this moment. No matter what happens after this, he has to have you.

You pull away first, breathless, not from the kiss itself but because it’s him. It’s Stiles. Your best friend. You’re honestly a little surprised that he’s such a good kisser. Sure, he’s had girlfriends over the years, but damn.

The two of you sit painfully still for several moments. Stiles is afraid that if he moves even an inch, he’ll break whatever spell had come over you. He leans forward minutely, desperately wanting to kiss you again, but you press a hand to his chest and practically shove him away.

His eyes widen as he stumbles back, nearly falling to the floor, panic tightening in his chest. Did he fuck up? You regret it already? Is everything ruined forever?

You chew on your bottom lip as you look at him. His hair is all wild, his cheeks are flushed, his lips are plump and glistening. He’s sex on legs, and you’ve barely even gotten a taste. That one kiss is all it took to ignite the lust that’d been simmering within you all night.

You pull in a shaky breath, knowing that if you’re ever going to make a move, it has to be right now.

“I bet,” You say slowly, your voice low and sultry as you watch his eyes flicker over your face. “I can make you hard without even touching you.”

Stiles sputters silently, brain short circuiting at your words. He’s frozen in place. He wants to pump a fist into the air because this is actually happening but his muscles won’t move. He just nods, his eyes wide and mouth agape.

You giggle at his dumbstruck expression as you jump down from the island, the food on the stove completely forgotten. The edge of your lips twitch up into a smirk when you take a small step toward him and he stiffens. A surge of confidence moves through you at the sight of unmistakable desire in his eyes.

You hold his gaze as you grip the edge of your top and peel it over your head slowly. You’re suddenly very grateful that past you chose to wear your favorite matching red lacy set. Stiles’ eyes instantly trail down your exposed torso, although they keep flickering back to your breasts as if unable to look away.

You run your hands slowly along your shoulders, over your chest, and down your stomach. Stiles watches every one of your movements like they’re supplying the air he needs to breathe. You push your thumbs into the waistband of your mini skirt and pull it down a fraction of an inch before letting it go with a snap against your skin.

Stiles jumps at the sound, his glazed eyes locked onto the place your hands had just been. You take a few steps toward him, swaying slightly, and can’t help but giggle. This situation really is pretty ridiculous. You’re in your kitchen, preforming a strip tease for your best friend. It’s not something you ever thought you’d do.

You don’t stop until you’re only inches away from his heaving chest. You bat your eyelashes up at him and turn around so your back is just a hairs length from him. You bend over slowly, flicking your hair over your shoulder to look up at him as you wiggle your hips sensually.

You hear his shaky intake of breath and can’t help but smirk. If you’d known the effect you had on him, you would’ve done this years ago. He’s absolutely itching to touch you. His fingers are twitching at his sides in anticipation, but he doesn’t want to overstep your boundaries.

He wants to take you. To claim you as his. Pull you back against him and ravish you like the goddess you are. But he holds himself back. The ball is in your court, and he’s going to let you have your fun until he’s sure you’re ready for him.

You stand up straight and turn to face him, eyes skimming down to the obvious bulge at the front of his jeans. A slow smile pulls at your lips.

“You lose again.” Your voice is barely above a whisper. You’re afraid that if you speak any louder, it’ll break this tension, this electricity between you.

It’s at this moment that he snaps, his earlier thoughts instantly forgotten. He just can’t take it anymore. He’s been restraining himself for years and right now, after the show you just gave him, he can’t wait even a second longer to have you.

At once, you’re in his arms. He leans forward and captures your lips with his, sliding his palms down the backs of your legs before hiking them up around his waist. You squeal against him and tighten your thighs to hold yourself up.

His hands are on your ass, kneading the soft flesh as he blindly walks both of you toward the stairs. He doesn’t need to look. He has the entire layout of your house memorized after being here almost daily for years. He clambers up to the second floor, staggering and pausing a few times to deepen your kisses.

You feel feverish. His skin on yours is causing some sort of reaction. You’re burning up, hot crackling desire twisting in your stomach. You don’t even realize that he shoves his way through your bedroom door until he tosses you onto your bed. You bounce a few times, bracing your hands on the soft mattress to keep yourself upright.

Your eyes widen at the sight of him at the foot of your bed. He’s looking at you with this heat, this need. It makes you want to give him anything he asks for. You’re his, whether he knows it yet or not. You’re completely gone for your spaz of a best friend.

He suddenly takes a step forward and grips your ankles in each of his hands. He jerks you toward him until your legs are dangling off the edge of the bed. He pulls them apart and stands between them before dropping to his knees. Your eyes widen knowingly, a spark of excitement igniting in your chest.

“I bet I can make you cum in less than five minutes.” He smirks at the awestruck expression overtaking your face.

You nod your head enthusiastically, wanting nothing more than for him to ease the throbbing need between your legs. He runs his fingers up your shins, torturously slow, before stopping to squeeze your thighs gently. His eyes never leave yours as he moves higher and higher, dangerously close to exactly where you want him.

Stiles leans up and connects your lips again, this time a languid kiss as he lightly guides you down to the bed. You prop yourself up onto your elbows as he peppers gentle kisses down the column of your throat. A shudder moves through you at the feeling of his hair brushing against your heated skin as he moves across your collarbone.

He traces a path down your chest, stopping at your breasts to lap at your hardened nipples. You moan loudly, the feeling of his warm breath against you, along with the course material of your lacy bra enough to make you cum on its own.

He moves lower and lower until his fingers slide beneath the waistband of your skirt. His lips never leave you as he tugs it down over your hips before discarding it somewhere on the floor behind him. Your panties quickly join the pile as you shiver on your bed, dripping core now exposed to the chilly air of your bedroom.

Stiles’ darkened eyes flicker up toward yours as he parts your thighs and dives between them. You cry out when his tongue expertly brushes your clit, throwing your head back against the mattress. One of his hands glides up to squeeze your hip, while the other teases your entrance.

A pitiful whimper escapes you when he inserts a finger. It’s so long and thick and wow you’re really doing this with your best friend. He groans against you, sending delicious vibrations through your body. One of your hands tangles in his hair, pulling harshly when he flicks his tongue against your sensitive bud again.

You steal a glance down toward him and feel your heart swell at the look he’s giving you. His eyes are shining with adoration as he laps at your core like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted.

Your eyes roll back when he pushes another finger inside you and starts pumping them quickly. You feel your stomach tightening already as his free hand snakes up to pinch your nipples delicately.

“Stiles...” You murmur breathlessly, back arching as another wave of pleasure crashes down onto you.

He nearly explodes in his jeans at the sound of his name on your lips like that. His eyes pinch shut as he tries to reel in his own desire so he can fully focus on you. He groans against you at the feeling of your core clenching around his fingers. He pulls them almost completely free before slamming them back inside, smirking at the way it makes you whine.

All it takes is one more lick against your clit, and you’re coming. You cry out, your body trembling from head to toe as intense waves of pleasure move through you. Stiles can’t help but moan at the sound as his free hand slides across your stomach to push you down against the bed.

He doesn’t stop until you sag against the mattress, completely spent. He finally pulls away, wiping his mouth clean with the back of his hand as a big grin overtakes his face. He’s been wanting to do that for way too long, and honestly can’t believe it just happened for real. He’s imagined it enough times to know it would be amazing, but that had exceeded his expectations.

You’re the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen. All sweaty, flushed chest heaving, pupils blown wide from pleasure that he gave you. A sense of pride swells in his chest at the fact that he was able to make you feel so good.

Once you snap out of your blissful haze, you sit upright and jerk him toward you. You hungrily devour his lips, not feeling the least bit satiated by that mind blowing orgasm. You want—no, need—him. Right now.

He clambers up onto the bed, one of his hands moving to cup the back of your head as he climbs on top of you. You slide your hands along his shoulders beneath his flannel and practically rip it from his body. Next comes his undershirt, followed by the belt around his waist.

Your shaky hands fumble with the button of his jeans for a few seconds before he bats them away to undo it himself. Within seconds they’re gone too, joining the pile of clothes on your carpeted floor. You drag your fingers down his broad chest, pausing over the small patch of hair between his pecks.

He shudders against you, lips leaving yours to suck and lick his way down your neck. You palm him through his boxers and he grunts lowly, stiffening at the feeling. A trembling sigh falls past your lips as you explore his hard length through the thin fabric.

Suddenly impatient, you use both hands to pull the barrier down, eyes widening as his cock springs free. It’s so much bigger than you imagined. You’d spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about your best friend’s dick, but it still hadn’t prepared you for the real thing.

You wrap your fingers around him and he freezes against you. He presses his forehead to your shoulder as you pump him slowly. A moan rumbles through your chest at the feeling of him so exposed, so primal on top of you.

All he can do is huff out a few quick gasps as just your fingers set his body ablaze. He honestly feels like he might combust with the way his heart is sputtering in his chest. It takes every ounce of his willpower to peel your fingers away from him. He knows he won’t last long and he desperately wants to be inside you.

“Can I...is it okay if...” He doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say. He’s so tightly wound, so high off your presence that he can barely string his thoughts together.

“I have condoms.” You breathe, trying to convey with your eyes how much you want this. How much you want him.

He swallows thickly, hesitating for only a moment before sliding onto the floor to rummage through the bedside table you’d gestured toward. He pulls out a single foil packet and moves to sit next to you on the bed. He glances between his shaky hand and your eyes, suddenly needing reassurance.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He breathes, heart clenching in his chest at the possibility of you saying no.

Even if you do, he has to give you this moment to decide. He’s painfully aware that both of you are very intoxicated and may regret this in the morning. But he also knows that he’s wanted you for years and it might just kill him to stop now.

You trail your fingers along the side of his face, eyes rounding at the respect he has for you. You really love the idiot sitting in front of you, a realization that makes you lean forward and close the distance between you.

“Stiles,” You mumble against his lips. “If you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to lose my mind.”

His eyes widen in shock at your urgency and he chuckles, tearing the small package open and rolling the condom on quickly. He reconnects your lips and pushes you down onto the bed gently. You wrap your arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the base of his skull.

Your head tilts back, a long moan escaping you as he enters you in one swift motion. His eyes pinch shut tightly as he braces a hand against your headboard to steady himself. All he can do is grunt and gasp for air as your heat clenches around him. After only a few trusts, he knows he’s going to explode any minute.

He slides an arm under your arched back and turns you both so that he’s now laying on the mattress. Your knees settle on either side of his thighs and his brows furrow as he grips your hips tightly.

“Please...” Stiles groans, not even sure what he’s asking for. You’re everywhere. Around him, on top of him, your delicious smell is enveloping his every sense with his head on your pillow. It’s all too much.

You press your palms onto his chest and swirl your hips, pulling a broken moan from him. You lift yourself up before gliding back down slowly, wanting to see how long you can tease him before he’ll snap. The memory of the way he’d lost control earlier has your core clenching around him. You want to see that again.

“Y/N, I c-can’t...”

You lean down to steal a quick kiss, almost instantly reading his mind. He flips you over again, sliding his tongue along your bottom lip as he starts pounding into you, hard. Your head knocks into the headboard with each of his jerky movements, but you don’t care.

Your stomach tightens and you whimper, not expecting to cum again so quickly. None of your other partners had ever gotten you off more than once in a session. Stiles brings a hand down blindly to rub quick circles over your clit and you cry out against his lips.

Within seconds, you’re both tumbling over the edge, a chorus of moans and shaky breathing the only sound in your otherwise quiet bedroom.

He collapses onto the bed beside you, chest heaving as he tries to make sense of what the fuck just happened. The lustful haze is clearing from his mind as his orgasm fades away. He’s left laying there, his best friend—who he just fucked—only inches away.

He lets his eyes trail over to you slowly, honestly terrified of what he’ll find. He needs to know what you’re thinking. His eyes search yours, but they’re guarded. Unreadable. He instantly starts panicking, heart sputtering in his chest as he bolts upright and quickly discards the condom in your trash can.

Your brows furrow from your position beside him, surprised by his sudden movement. A wave of exhaustion comes over you. It’s a mixture of the alcohol and the mind blowing sex you just had, and all you want to do is sleep it off.

You reach forward to clasp a hand around Stiles’ wrist, stopping him just before he stands from the bed. “Where are you going?”

Your heart falls into your stomach at the thought of him trying to run away from what you’d just done. There wasn’t a single part of you that regretted it. You wanted to do that since you met the idiot, so there was no way you’d be going back on it now.

You honestly didn’t even care if the two of you ever slept together again. You just needed him in your life. You weren’t going to let him disappear on you just because you gave into a night of passion.

“Oh. I-I didn’t know if you...you know, would want...” He stammers, eyes widening at the frown on your face. Maybe he misread the situation.

“Of course I want you to stay, you big dork.” You chuckle, tugging on his arm again.

His lips twitch into a grin, relief washing over him. He crawls back into the bed, peeling your comforter away so that you can join him beneath the warmth. You instantly curl into his chest, his arms wrapping around you in a familiar gesture. You’d cuddled many times before, but never like this. Never naked.

Stiles tries thinking of anything else to fight off his growing erection. Now was not the time for round two. You were basically asleep against him, your breath slowing to an even rhythm. He pulls you in tighter and lets his eyes flutter closed, knowing there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

The last thought that flickers through his mind before he drifts off is that he could definitely get used to this new aspect of your relationship. He only hoped, come morning, that you’d feel the same.

[choicesenthusiast]

Representation at Pixelberry: The Follow-Up

One year ago, on June 15, 2020, Pixelberry released a statement regarding representation at the company. Here is the LINK to the original blog post, and here was MY RESPONSE. Oh, how naïve and optimistic I was. It contained a list of goals and promises they hoped to accomplish within a year. Well, a year has passed, and here is my attempt to hold PB accountable. I'll be going over the five main points of their representation plan and if they achieved what they promised. All criticisms are about content released after June 15th. Long post beware, but I'm not putting it under a read more because I feel like it's important for all to see.

1. Commitment to diversity of Love Interests - FAIL

We’ve already been moving towards having Love Interests have customizable skin tones. We will continue to do this with some stories, while also having some characters with clear ethnic identities. At the same time when we have multiple love interests of different ethnicities, we are aiming for those Love Interests to have equal game time.

"LIs with customizable skin tones" mean they come in three flavours: white, black, and ambiguously Asian/Latinx interchangeably. So far I have rarely seen an LI as connected to their culture/ethnicity as Rafael Aveiro, and he just talked about his Vovo's food if he ever were on screen. They had many chances with the other OH LIs as well. Even Ayna Seth and Tatum Mendoza were confirmed to be Indian and Filipino, respectively, though FA gets a little leeway, as it was set in a fictional west-European continent.

As for equal game time? I'm sure the biggest example we can all think of was the mess that was Open Heart 3, which was written during the hiatus (which only existed because they were going to straight up kill Rafael in Book 2). Game time was not equal among LIs, and the white male LI was heavily favoured. PB also continues to pay female LIs dirt by giving them no screen time. In addition to that, LGBT+ players, who are consistently underrepresented, receive one (1) unprepared pride month survey, prpbably only because someone asked them about it on Twitter.

This is the meat and potatoes of everything because it's what they're outputting to their audience. It's what the people see. Given that things haven't been going so well lately in this department, consider this promise a big fat fail.

2. More authentic and diverse hairstyles for people of color - QUESTIONABLE

Our team will focus on providing more authentic and representative hairstyles. We are prioritizing these hairstyles outside of our normal book processes and will introduce them in new books as they are ready.

While, yes, they have added two new hairstyles in WEH, they also just took Jade Bonet's hair and recycled it for LoA F!MC. PB recycles all their hair more often than not.

3. More diverse book covers - QUESTIONABLE

This is an initiative we started in January of this year. As a result the number of Black, Latinx, Asian, Native American, Pacific Islander, mixed, and other characters on new book covers increased from 35% of characters in 2019 to 60% characters in the first half of 2020. However, the number of black characters is still not high enough this year. More are already scheduled for books later this year. We will make sure that Black characters are well represented on our covers in the future.

"Diverse" does not just mean by race, but also gender, sexual orientation, etc. FA has the only recent MLM cover. And don't tell me that the FA and LoA covers are any different from each other. The only black characters on covers are Zoey Wade (QB), and Black!Gabe Ricci (LoA) and Bastien (WB), which aren't even their canon races unless you choose them to be. This is the case for many single-LI books, such as Cassian Keane (W:ABR, which technically premiered on Mar. 16, but the sentiment is the same), Sam Dalton (TNA), and Dakota Winchester (WEH). Not to mention the customizable/multi LI books like DS, RT, BaBu2, MTFL, etc. Majority of these covers are just cishet couples delicately cradling each other's bodies or whatever. And we're not even gonna get into how PB literally put the Open Heart LIs in order of their favouritism on Book 3's cover.

4. Writers/Staff - QUESTIONABLE

We will be engaging in professional training on historical and current racism for our writers to ensure more of them have a better understanding and more context for views of diverse characters in Choices. We will also create a program that gives more authority to people of color in the studio to advise writers and artists on more authentic portrayals in both writing and art of black, brown, and minority characters.

A story with a Black-led cast is something I have asked for in the past, but failed to follow-up on. We will very likely start this with a Black-led cast story led by Chelsa, one of Pixelberry's Black writers.

We will increase the number of diverse writers we source for new stories, starting with hiring more Black and Latinx writers to lead the charge.

For all teams at Pixelberry we will actively work to bring in more Black and Latinx candidates with the goal to increase the number of Black and Latinx employees at Pixelberry. Although Pixelberry is over 50% female, on teams where females are not at 50% we will actively work to source more female candidates.

This promise seemed like a copout from the start because we have no way of knowing who works on what at PB unless we very meticulously stalk their LinkedIn or Twitter or whatever. We have no solid statistics except for what they feed us. I do know, however, that they recently let the Ms. Match writers go and were hiring for external writers, but there really is no way of knowing what's going on behind-the-scenes with their 112+ employees, and of course there would be NDAs involved. We are yet to see a book with an all-Black cast, and receive rare development updates with new books. Actually, I think a really good way to promote diversity is to do staff showcases on their social media. Just a way to show the public who's responsible for what. Writers, game devs, the art team, etc. Don't think it'll happen, but it's always a good idea.

5. Donations - QUESTIONABLE

Pixelberry will also be making $100,000 in donations to Black Girls Code, the Black Writers Collective, and the Latinx Writers Collective at Techqueria. Rather than as a lump sum, we will be making these donations over the course of a year to remind us that we are not making short term changes, but are committed to long term sustainable actions. We’ll also be donating up to an additional $100k from profits for this week, 6/15-6/21.

There has been no proof, no receipts, no evidence from PB that they have donated anything to anyone, and as far as we're concerned, their word doesn't mean anything. No news or updates news about it. I would love to believe that they did something, but as you can see, I've become quite the pessimist. BWC still uses PB's old logo (like, pre-Choices) on their sponsors page, and the last interaction they've had with BGC was in 2013. They don't even follow each other on Instagram. In fact, BGC received a huge donation from MacKenzie Scott, formerly Bezos last July. Yes, that billionaire Bezos, and that got coverage from them. Obviously donations don't need to be for publicity, but in this case I think it's important there should be proof. Again, it's really hard to tell with these behind-the-scenes things, but given how PB loves to gloat and hates to keep promises, we can assume that none of this happened.

~~~

So, what's the takeaway? That PB's fallen down the drainhole of shitty content and empty promises and has no intention of climbing out as long as they still make that bank? Seems counterproductive, because good representation gets good feedback and income. They pump out bad books with barebones "representation" if you can call it that, then drop their precious merch and pretend all is fine and dandy. But just as I suspected one year ago, none of this matters, because people forget things, and people move on, and shit gets swept under rugs. Yet, here I am, yelling at a company in a post I for sure doubt they'll see. Because if not me, then who?

@playchoices Your move. It's been your move for a year now. When will you actually make it?

[gallickingun]

ding, dong, the witch is dead!

honestly, who didn’t see this coming? lol. but, anyway. i guess this is goodbye! i’ll ramble more below the cut, but just know that over the next couple of days, i’ll be exporting my blog so i can keep what i want, and then this will be the only post left here.

thank you to everyone who i’ve had the privilege of meeting, and those of you who have been so kind as to leave lovely notes on my works, and interact with me over our silly anime crushes. i really appreciate all the kindness i’ve been shown in the anime fandom. some of my best friends i’ve met through this stupid app, but overall, it’s just not a healthy space for me. i’m not blaming anyone else for what this has become, at the end of the day, i created a hell for myself. i’m just tired of trying to rebuild, rebrand, whatever. i’m just tired.

that being said, obviously not everything can always be so lovely. i don’t care about the discourse or the drama or the whatever, but i’m just hoping this post will bring me some closure, and maybe some for those i’ve hurt, whether accidentally or intentionally. if you click read more and you’re upset with what you see, well, idk what to tell you, friend.

i hate that tumblr can be so insignificant, and yet so all encompassing all at once. yes, it’s “just tumblr” and “it’s not that deep” because at the end of the day, it’s just an app. but, unfortunately, behind this app and these blogs are human beings. which means you create real bonds and real friendships, and real feelings get hurt.

i came back to tumblr during a really sad, dark time in my life. and that was honestly my first mistake. i latched on to whoever would pay attention to me, craving some sort of friendship that i never needed before because i always had someone in real life. but i had just moved away from my family, and was starting the process of what would end up being a notsogreat divorce. i felt alone, and was struggling a lot with my self worth, so instead of choosing to be kind, i chose to lash out. regardless of whether or not that was in private dm’s of those whom, at the time, i’d considered friends, it was still inconsiderate and childish of me. i thought i had to be some hateful version of myself in order to prove to other people that i wasn’t as sad about myself as i truly was. the words i said in private were rude, nasty, and just... not who i want to be? and, without going into immense detail, some of those things i wanted to move on from and no longer felt, were then used as weapons and spread around to others who i never intended to see what i’d said.

please, please, PLEASE — be careful what you say. you really never know who is watching, who is going to manipulate you, etc. what you say holds weight, and even if you don’t intend for it to hurt anyone, even if it’s just venting.. i dunno. just, be careful, okay? check yourself from time to time, friend. make sure that you’re not allowing the overall negativity of the world, of your own mind, of others, to affect you to the point that you don’t recognize yourself.

if you don’t know about my lovely little exposed blog, well, you’d probably be the last to know. at least, it feels that way. although in the beginning maybe it was justified? in some right? i’m not sure anymore, really, but regardless—it turned into some sort of stalking experience. at one point in time, i received 35+ messages telling me how horrible i was, telling me to off myself, telling me that my ex did the right thing by leaving me “on the curb”, etc. my full legal name was being released, with the intent to doxx me i’m assuming? i was being told i was “being watched”, which i fully believe was happening, with the consistency of the updates. people who claim to hate me, still followed me with the intent of watching my every move to “see if i’d changed”. i only have received updates through friends, because to be perfectly honest with you, seeing your worst mistakes splayed on the internet and turning you into some shounen villain is NOT the best thing for your mental health. that, and some of the “truths” were half-honesties twisted because i’d be a hypocrite to post private dm’s debunking these things when i was upset with the very same people for posting such things. i’ve addressed some things, such as the racism, so i won’t go into that again, but some of these other instances are stretches, to say the least.

the irony of the whole thing is not lost on me. the very same people who say i only do things for notes/recognition, are doing those very things. those who say i only care about tumblr, are proving that by running a blog dedicated to exposing some twenty three year old idiot on the internet. those who say i use my friends are the same ones who literally lied to my face so they could collect receipts behind my back and then leave me when it got convenient. those who say i talk to “insignificant” blogs to appear invested are the ones calling those blogs insignificant, i never once believed anyone i’ve interacted with was insignificant, contrary to popular belief. everything they focus on ends up being nothing but hypocrisy in the end.

that being said, obviously i truly hurt whoever all is behind this blog. intentionally, or otherwise. and i know that sometimes what you do/say isn’t meant to hurt anyone, however, you don’t get to control how what you’ve done effects others. all you can do is apologize. but, i know a few of them, because based on the “receipts” they’ve pulled together, the stories are too specific to be anything but those people i’m thinking of. i don’t enjoy blanket apologies, but i’m leaving this hellsite, so it’s all i’ve got left.

i’m sorry for giving you the fuel to your fire for this petty agenda, i’m sorry for creating the monster of myself that allowed you to string along this storyline for what seems to be the better part of a year. i’m sorry that i gave you material to fixate upon, rather than providing you with friendship and something better to focus on. i truly hope you can move on now that i’m gone from tumblr, and honestly i don’t plan on coming back, lol. i genuinely, truly, deeply feel sorry for you, and pray that you can turn this obsessive focus from me to something more productive, something healthier.

the angry part of me wants everyone to realize that the start of this, the matchups/refunds situation, was born from this stalkerish behavior. it has taken me months to put the pieces together, because i truly didn’t think someone who i’d called my friend once would ever string together such a lie, or rather an exaggerated, adulterated truth, but i guess it’s what happened, in the end.

there are a lot of, uh, conveniently timed “releases” of receipts even though they were months after the initial occurrence of the offense. i can’t go into each one, because, frankly, there are too many. i just hope that in the wake of all of these horrible exposes of things i’ve done, others are able to reflect on their actions. telling me one thing while currently speaking to another individual and telling them another, blatantly LYING, etc. are all things that i’ve been accused of, and yet they’ve also been done to me. doesn’t justify what i’ve done, nor am i seeking some sort of absolution, however i just hope that these individuals can see their hypocrisy and move forward.

which leads me to my final point — regardless of how shitty someone is, disallowing them the room to grow, stunting their moral/mental growth, is truly the issue. i am not going to sit here and play holier than thou. i know i fucked up. i was a nasty bitch because i was angry at the world, and then that anger was fueled further by consistent situations where i made the wrong friends at the wrong times in my life. but the fact that this exposed nonsense has been dragging on since... july? august? i’m not really sure, but whatever. since it’s been going on, i have been battling with myself and my ability to do the things i love, talk to those i care about, etc. all because i’m afraid of saying the wrong thing, hurting the wrong person, etc. and in trying to avoid it, i’ve been doing the very same thing i hoped to keep from doing.

i never felt like i could apologize to those i wanted to apologize to because it might be received as disingenuous due to the nature of the exposed blog’s very existence “forcing” me to apologize. don’t get me wrong, some of those who the blog tried to coerce me into apologizing to can suck a dick, because there are people that i truly do not feel deserve my apologies, and therefore, will never get them. but, i do feel bad for those i didn’t get the chance to apologize to that i really wanted to. the last thing i’d want is for my apology to be turned into something it’s not, but hopefully everyone who has been affected by my actions can move on with my absence.

and to those of you who feel the need to make public denounces of my name, i hope it provides you the closure you’ve been seeking. truly, i do. but know that i never did anything i’ve ever done with the intent to get ahead or buy someone’s friendship or take advantage of anyone else. if i truly only cared about the things people say i cared about, i would have never made this blog in the first place. i would have leeched off the popularity of my main blog if popularity was all i cared about. i was searching for a home, which, in the end, i burned down myself. me, joking around about follower count and notes, was literally nothing but sarcastic banter that’s been taken out of context. but, i digress.

i am very thankful for those who i can still call my friends, who are willing and ready to have honest discussions with me about the things i’ve said/done and analyze them and help me move forward. therapy, medication, life choices, etc. all have been rolled into me deciding that i’m done letting a silly little app stunt my growth. if the internet was unplugged tomorrow, i know who i’d have and what would matter. i have REAL LIFE to focus on. i am in love and i have beautiful friendships that i want to foster with honesty and kindness. i can only hope that you all have the opportunity to have those very same things.

will i stop writing? nah, dude. no way. i’m just getting started. in my absence, in choosing to stay away from a place that makes me sick to my stomach with anxiety, i’ve delved into my original characters and i’ve written thousands of words that i haven’t felt the pressure to post about. i’ve learned that just because i’m doing something i love, i don’t have to do it for anyone else.

the internet is a funky place, folks. just be careful who your friends are, okay?

anyway. peace out, girl scouts. i wish you all the best 💖

[feckin-zicons]

that's why i hate larries, i hate them with all my heart. besides being boring they are hypocrites 🙄

Hey nonnie, sorry its taken me so long to reply but if you’re following me you know I’ve been travelling lately and have been more scatterbrained than usual. Not that I’m ever not scatterbrained, but its been just a little crazier than usual!

Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I hate Larries. After all their delusions can be pretty funny sometimes!

Joking aside, I don’t hate Larries, I love Larries, I’m a Larry, so I really hesitate to tarry the whole group with the same brush. However I do strongly agree with you that there are those who are complete hypocrites. Nothing annoys more more than when Larries ™ treat the other boys, other celebrities, their friends and even family as one more side character to the Larry Show.

In particular when Larries ™ flood comment sections asking or in some cases, ordering people to confirm rumors/the couple being together. The absolute fucking disrespect. Not just because they’re flooding comment sections in videos streams, tweets, what have you, that sometimes have nothing to do with the couple in question, but because its presumptuous and rude as fuck to think they’re owed a coming out- just because they’re fans of the boys.

Stop it. Thats fucking ugly as hell.

While I have no doubt all the boys will one day be out (as referenced by their continued efforts in fighting the closet. I don’t get the sense the boys will just stop at being freed from their contractual obligations). It should and will be on their own terms. Provided they’re not forcibly outed some other way.

Coming out is a deeply personal experience and no one, no one ever, has the right to out someone else. I’ll never not be absolutely furious at the Larries ™ who posted about having ‘receipts’ that would out the boys. Which… tbh weren’t receipts at all but thats a whole other story. I’m also still angry at the reactions after Liams Attitude spread that wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the entitled fandom that peddled ridiculous claims beforehand about Liam confirming Larry to be real.

I mean… What the actual fuck. Setting aside the fandom experience of the time, and boy was it an experience. What right would Liam have confirming Louis and Harry’s relationship? I mean, get some perspective? It doesn’t help that a lot of fandom adults were the ones coming up with, and reblogging those theories and the younger fans ate it up. It would have made more sense for Louis and Harry to do it but idk maybe I’m still out of touch for thinking so. I mean, it felt like every other week someone was talking about Larry coming out. It was such a shit storm oh my god.

Biggest issue I still have with them is that the entitled behaviour hasn’t stopped. For some it seems like, Larry coming out is it for them. Like pack it up, goodbye, shows over, Louis and Harry are gay and in a relationship and everything is rainbows, we get to see cute pictures of them and everyone lives happily ever after.

Yeah, no. Coming out, for anyone, is just the beginning, can’t even begin to imagine what its like for them. They’re still going to need everyones support, and it irritates me that for some fans it seems so fucking conditional.

Time and time again, I’ve seen tweets, and posts, and videos, whatever, going on about Larry coming out and it reads like a fucking wattpad story. Not just that but its always on the assumption by the poster, on the off chance they consider the other 3/5ths of the band and Ziam being a possibility, that Larry will come out first?

What?

I’m sorry but, what?

Everything I’ve seen from the boys tells me they’re all in this together, they support each other and are working through the bullshit as a team. We have all seen the No Judgement music video yes? The merch, posts, double speak etc referencing each other, yes?

I mean, I suppose if you only look at Louis and Harry, like so many do, sure. Only Larry matters, everyone else is a side character in their life.

(Lemme just, scream for a second).

However, that kind of thinking leads them to the wrong conclusions. Like… assuming the SBB/RBB countdown was attributed to nothing, when it counted down to Liam finally being free of Sophia. In the years since, I’ve seen Larries ™ backtrack on claiming the bears had anything to do with the boys, that they weren’t behind it at all, or that they were just trolling the fandom.

You know, despite all the proof otherwise, and some really, really good posts breaking down clues about what the boys were trying to tell us. The moment something might not actually be about Louis and Harry its like all their thinking shuts off. Its frustrating. Really fucking frustrating.

Seriously, fans of the other boys as individulas, not just Ziams, have been talking about the stunts too and how they fit together. Its why we tend to be right, because we’re considering the entire group. They’re still a group. They’re not free until all of them are free.

Just for that Nialls coming out first. Lmao. I’ll call it now. Lets go Niall, whens the baby coming. We all wanna know. Its been years.

Imagine, imagine! Acting like coming out is some race to be won. The fucking audacity.

Go outside and touch fucking grass you absoulte ninny.

I get it, you want to be vindicated, you want to be rewarded for putting your faith in two celebrities being together.

Newsflash you dandelionfluff, its not a race, Louis and Harry coming out isn’t a fucking prize. Thats not what supporting a relationship looks like.

Its worse when someone admits they don’t know much about Ziam or the possibility of Niall being LGBT+, and claim they’re open to it, but then immediately tweet or reblog or sub tweet or tag comment a post or answer an ask from another Larry ™ talking about how Larries ™ are the most marginalized and persecuted group.

???

In what fucking world?

IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?

If we wanna play that game, boohoo, the media claims Louis and Harry aren’t friends anymore because of crazy shippers. Meanwhile Zayn publicly isn’t friend with anyone and “left” the band… despite the Ziam fandom calling the stunt about either Louis or Zayn “leaving” and getting it down to the exact week (the second article coming out a week before about the Ziam kiss pretty much cemented it for Zayn leaving. Which did a lot to fan the flames of the already rabid fanbase when Ziam got two articles confirming a Ziam kiss over the years and Larry got nada. Like that actually means anything).

Not to mention Larries ™ using the hetties and management tactics against the other parts of the fandom to silence them.

Who cares what the media says anyway!  TPTB, 1DHQ, The Sun, The Mirror, Simon and his minions and their unpaid interns have used the media to split the fandom apart and it worked.

Who the fuck cares if the media calls the 1D stans delusional, you know the truth! The truth it out there and you’ve seen it! The truth is coming! Who gives a damn about what some two bit “journo” who failed out of their creative writing course writes? They get worse by the year. If it wasn’t so pathetic and hilarious I might actually feel embarrassed for them. They can’t even come up with new stories and have just taken to copying old articles, but you’re upset with them??? Give it a rest. Honestly.

The sense of disconnect, entitlement and victimhood of some Larries ™ is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh my god they’re Karens. I’m not trying to be insulting, but thats exactly who they remind me of.

I’m not going to say its a surprise to me that so many in the Ziam fandom are POC, LGBT+, and Neurodivergent and any combination of those, but I am going to say I’ve read a lot of Larry fics that just have Het sex made gay. Those in the Ziam fandom just tend to look at facts in a different way than Larries do due to their life experiences. A interfaith, interracial, relationship where one or both partners fall under the Bi umbrella (not saying Louis or Harry can’t be or aren’t Bi+ but rumors, and the way the fandom markets them, puts them firmly in the gay category) looks very, very different than gay or straight relationship. Both looking from outside and being in one. There’s just different dynamics at play that aren’t often realized or understood by the gays and hets.

Its not a bad thing. All relationships are different. The issue is that theres a lot of biphobia/racism/religious prejudice etc that arises from people being unwilling to understand the inherent differences.

Taking myself for example, I’m bi, like, bi as hell, and I don’t understand how gays and hets only like one gender. I just don’t. Can’t wrap my head around it. If someone asks me to choose one gender over the others to prefer I can’t. Its so stressful. My brain goes into panic mode and it feels like I’m being torn apart. My sense of identity is shaken- its a shit feeling. I just can’t lie to myself like that. If other people feel the same well, its no wonder bi+ have such high rates of depression and suicide. Its not about choosing who to like, there is no choice, I just feel attraction to everyone. Aces, I get. Its similar to being the opposite of what I feel, or not feeling an attraction to someone I’m not interested in. Easy. Gays and hets? I’m completely lost on.

Completely, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try and understand where they’re coming from. Its alien to me, personally, but I’m not going to shut down the fact, that theres a fuck ton of people who only like one gender or try and make up reasons as to why they’re actually bi+

I digress, none of the boys fall neatly into the gay stereotypes, its just that parts of the Larry fandom have boxed Louis and Harry into certain roles to fit preconceived notions (likely do to them initially fitting in better with the white, sassy, somewhat effeminate twink thats been plastered all over Hollywood as their “LGBT+ representation” for years. Gag), they can understand better, and only look for proof to back up their theories but don’t look at things objectively.

They really need to get out more and make some LGBT+ friends that aren’t on the internet and talk to some gay elders. They need educating that’s not the often sanitized and insulting Hollywood version, that’s all I’m saying.

They made Louis and Harry more palatable for themselves and its… really gross.

I don’t know, I don’t get it.

Some Larries ™ turned the boys into their fandom and fanfiction stereotypes when they’re so much more than that. The Sony leaks should have been enough to dissuade the fandom, and prove that the brand sold to the broader audience is just that- a brand, and yet… Niall only talks about food and golf and Ireland and is only allowed to be straight or ace. If he exists at all its just to be Capt Niall. Liams slow and dumb and depending on the day he’s either Capt Liam or a horrific abusive homophobe. Zayns just The Worst, a unstable drug addict, and the boys hate each other, and they should have kicked him out of the band sooner because he never wanted to be part of them anyway, etc.

It drives me absolutely around the bend some days. They’re real people who don’t owe anyone anything, especially not coming out.

Yes, I think they will. But they’re not obligated to. They can change their minds, I’ll support them regardless of an “official” coming out or not.

Look, a part of me gets it. They wanna be right, they wanna prove the haters wrong, they want to be able to say I called it all along! The vindication will be sweet.

But like, it takes a quick look at someone other than Louis and Harry to realize theres something hinky going on with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Please listen to their fans who have spent just as much time as you have looking into Louis and Harry compiling together evidence.

It might take a weekend to watch the ILYSM and pterodactyl bros videos and a few more hours looking into some Niall blogs, which isn’t much compared to the hours I know they’ve spent looking into Larry. At least then they’ll have enough information to form an opinion on things.

I wonder, for some, what would happen if Larry didn’t come out, or didn’t come out first, or one of the other boys was outed against their will. Because… I don’t know. It seems like some would rather just be proven right at this point.

I get it. We’re tired. Its been eleven long years. But this isn’t a television show were everything can come to a head with a s3 or s4 cliff hanger and fixed in the series finale. Its real life, and they started off as boys trusting industry veterans who never had their best interests at heart.

Iduno. I just want some Larries ™ to take a step out of the echo chamber, realize life isn’t The Larry Show & co. And especially. ESPECIALLY, that every instance were someone, friends, family, co-works, industry peeps etc support the boys they are SUPPORTING THE BOYS, NOT THE FANDOM. They are not “confirming Larry for the fans” they’re doing it to support the couple, not to cater to the fandom. Please stop confusing the two. There’s a huge fucking difference. Learn it.

[hhhhhhhappycow]

Haikyuu!! Team Japan playing Among Us:

Okay, so first of all they eject Atsumu at the beginning of every game

Initially it was because he was acting sus or just spamming the chat with accusations

But then it kind of became a running joke

One time it got down to only three players (one imposter) left: Atsumu, Hinata and Sakusa. Sakusa was like, I know Hinata is the imposter but I'm just going to take the L on this one and eject Atsumu because it's funny. Atsumu was fuming

Only it stopped being as funny when he got pissed off and stopped doing his tasks after he died

They let him play again after that

Hinata as an imposter normally doesn't kill many people unless he's sure nobody else is around. He mostly gets caught because he likes venting

Although one time Hakuba convinced him to go on a huge murder spree with him and they won largely by separating the others and killing as many of them as possible before a body could be found

They were all traumatised after that round

As a crew member he takes doing all of his tasks very seriously but he doesn't have a pattern to doing them, he just runs about the place at random, starting one task and then coming back to it at the end

People tend to suspect him because he can't remember the names of the rooms at all and sometimes accidentally says the wrong one before correcting himself

Bokuto is actually very good at playing as a crew member: He knows the layout well and does all of his tasks as quickly as possible, then tries to get the others to stay in a group (although he himself tends to get sidetracked following people he suspects sometimes)

Surprisingly he's figured out a whole bunch of the imposters on the chat

But he really sucks at being an imposter himself

He always kills someone at the worst moment, just before somebody else walks in

And he could accuse the other person or say he'd found the body, but he always panics and comes up with ridiculous lies, stating he wasn't even there and doesn't know what they're talking about

Nobody believes him

He and Hinata also usually stick together while playing

Hinata killed him one time and the whole team immediately knew because they heard him yelling when he died

He legitimately did not speak to Hinata for two hours

Kageyama is not great at the game

He understands the basic functions, but he tends to accidentally implicate himself, even when he's not the imposter

He's always calling out the wrong person

Is the guy who's like 'If I'm wrong vote me next' and then is wrong

And also gets so absorbed in avoiding being murdered that he sometimes forgets to do his tasks

He goes afk a lot too and comes back to find he's been accused, hasn't defended himself, and has subsequently been ejected

When he's the imposter he always kills Hinata first, and it's gotten to the point that now certain others are starting to kill Hinata first to throw him into suspicion

(Hinata is scared for his life)

Sakusa and Komori are the best at playing as an imposter

Because they're both very sneaky and good at seeding doubt in the chat

When they're both imposters they're virtually unstoppable

Sakusa as a crew member is very good at finding imposter as well

He always remembers who accused who and often pulls out the receipts after they've ejected somebody innocent

So much so that occasionally he will make up that somebody said something and everyone just believes him without checking

Weirdly, he works well with Bokuto, who always seems to find things out and then Sakusa puts it all together

Komori usually constructs a whole narrative in the chat and for some reason people always trust him

He keeps peppering in little lies that are just believable but slowly turn them all against each other

(A lot of Sakusa and Komori's success has to do with both of these guys being very consistent in the way they're playing, both as an imposter and a crewman)

When they go head to head against each other, there's normally a massive split in the group over who to believe

Yaku is generally rational and tries to act as a leader

Constantly calling emergency meetings because he thinks he's figured it out

He's the one who, along with Bokuto and Hinata, wants everyone to just stick together after a certain point, and he gets frustrated when people keep splitting off

Has rage quit on more than one occasion

Everybody always knows when he's the imposter because he goes really quiet and tries to blend in to the background, agreeing with what others say and killing on the sly

He doesn't know that's how they know because nobody's told him he does it

A lot of the time, after a couple of deaths where he's been silent about finding the imposter, the group will unanimously vote to eject him because they just know, and it really pisses him off

Contrarily, Hoshiumi gets louder when he's the imposter, and he knows he does it but he can't help it

He just gets excited

Like Hinata, he enjoys venting and it often leads to him being caught out

He also self-reports a lot and then basically dares them to eject him when he gets accused of doing so, which only works about half the time

'Eject me and you'll see I'm one of you'

Hakuba is absolutely ruthless

His main strategy as imposter is just to kill as many crew members as possible before being found out

Never talks in the chat

Whoever plays imposter with him usually gets annoyed because he's so obvious with it most of the time

Now and then he likes to switch it up by only murdering anybody near Hoshiumi and then blaming him

It usually works

He either does really well and wins the game quickly, or loses it for them incredibly quickly

Ojiro doesn't like to accuse people without evidence because he's afraid of being accused himself

So he tends to follow people he suspects a lot of the time

Which leads to him being killed a fair amount

He doesn't really mind too much, he actually quite likes being able to just get on and finish his tasks and spy on what the others are doing

He's always chatting to anybody else who has died, making puns and jokes about what's happening in the game

Some of his and Atsumu's conversations after they've both died are pure comedy gold

Although he and Yaku had a genuine argument once because Yaku was so upset at having been killed (by Komori, who he trusted) and Ojiro made a joke about it

'Hey Yaku, don't you think Komori is looking a little sus now?'

He also self-reports sometimes, although he generally has more success than Hoshiumi

The 'believe me if you want but it's your loss if you don't' guy

Hyakuzawa is also kind of bad at the game

At the beginning he didn't realize you had to do tasks after you had died so everyone else had completed theirs and were all accusing each other as to who hadn't finished them, as it was the only thing stopping them from winning

They lost that round

In the chat he tends to agree with what everyone else is saying and tries not to stand out too much

His favorite thing about the game is the lobby before the game begins: For some reason the others all started copying whatever he did, putting on the same hats or running in the same direction as him

It makes him happy

Ushijima does not get this game

The first time he played he asked Sakusa to help him. Sakusa saw that he was the imposter but couldn't bring himself to turn Ushijima in, so helped him win instead

He's lost almost every game since then

He just seems to be incapable of winning, even though he tries and asks Sakusa and Kageyama for advice

The one who asks questions in the chat like 'How do I vent like Yaku just did?' (cue Yaku screaming)

One time while they were all playing online they noticed that Ushijima was actually contributing and winning a lot of games

Turns out some of the old Shiratorizawa guys were visiting and Ushijima had gotten bored and handed the controller over to Tendou

Like Hyakuzawa, he enjoys some of the pre/post-game antics

Actually has a good memory for all of the tasks and what rooms they are in so he's good at coming up with a cover story: It's just that it doesn't help much when he claims to have been in admin when there were three other people in admin who all know he wasn't there

Iwaizumi joins them when they play sometimes and he is quite good: He knows the layout well and methodically works through the map from left to right

Whenever anyone kills him the team seek vengeance