Grief envelopes me in a cloud
A shadow that darkens my features
I canât see through that mist
It obscures the world from my view
Prevents me from finding the sunshine
If thereâs any left in the world
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You left me at my lowestâI still donât know why
The black crows had encroachedâtheir silk wings brushing skin
Scents of hyacinth filled my tight lungsâmy throat dry
The loud silence oppressiveâmy willâworn down thin
The smooth glass of my psyche was pulverized dust
The wind carried the sands of my being away
I was bruised and left crushedâyou had broken my trust
All alone with the crowsâI just wished you would stay
The black feathers afloat disappear from my sight
Those black crows left me tooâleft me here with the sand
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At the end of the long road of vulnerability is hell
In the eyes of the trusted is pity enthralled in a spell
Have you never been witness to rain? Or just clouds? Just one time?
Donât let mine be a shockâDonât let pity invade those warm eyesâitâs no crime
If you mustâclose your eyesâI donât wish to be seen so anew
I canât bear the grim thought that you wonât see my shade of calm blue
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All my suffering means you existed and isnât that all?
If it meant I existed alongside you just for a bit
If our timelines were able to cross I donât feel quite so small
When the pain tries to linger Iâll cherish our timeâitâs worth it
Iâve been blessed by fair fate and how lucky am I? I feel bright
To have laughed with youâlivedâTo have smiled with youâlovedâWhatâs to seek?
In this endless ephemeral void you provided the light
And I somehow wound up next to you at lunch talking each week
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I could cut my arm off but the scar would remain
I could blot the spilled blood but the ichor would stain
Iâd renounce my cursed bloodline but still, Iâm their child
The reminders are harsh and disturbingâdefiled
Born impure from unholy geneticsâIâm doomed
I had never been given the chance to be bloomed
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I want someone with eyes so damn brightâwhen our gazes are joined
I canât help but to see the blue after effect of her love
Her intrinsic gold light is so warm but will never dare burn
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The trees quivered in cold fear of my presence and force
Itâs not right to go wake a dead sleepwalker free
Shouldnât reckon with fate in such states of premorse
I might be so inclined to kill youâstart your pleas
Why did you feel the need to awaken me?âdonât!
I preferred my dream state to this hell of predawn
The soft winds of my dreams feel so harsh in this zone
Let me goâmy night calls for my gazeâlet me goâI must yawn
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I am shackled by scents of fresh daisiesâcaptive to you
To the tune of your joyâhow emotion would bleed on your face
Youâre the Sun that would brighten the dayâyou could make the Sky blue
Iâm a sunflowerâbegging to come homeâI wish for your grace
Iâm uprooted instead forced to wait by the River of Styx
I am only to yearn for you now under total eclipse
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Grief is the only proof that I love and I love well. Love and grief are actually intertwined with each other and as "Akif Kichloo" once wrote, "the opposite of grief is not laughter or happiness or joy. It is love. It is love. It is love."
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I hope you have a great day!
Thanks! You too!
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I am trying to solve the transgression of being myself
My attempts to help rectify have been but futile mistakes
I am pleading on hands and bruised knees for forgivenessâplease God
âI didnât ask to be given a life, please forgive my ineptâ
My existence an act of unholinessâone I canât cure
I am left with no option but one to resolve my harsh sins
I canât find it in me to commit to the act of my death
Can you find it in you to forgive my forlorn disrepair?
Can I ask for that pardon? Repent for my sins in Godâs name?
Will the act of asking alone just continue to add to my sins?
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I lost sight of the Light at the end of the tunnelâI closed my dead eyes
I began to walk forward and prayed that Iâd find strength in strides
I was hoping to keep from engaging with Life on my way
But Iâve come to the sense that this Life was the Light led astray
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Hope you have a great day
Thanks you too!
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They say Time is supposed to heal woundsâall that loss
How can Time mend our woes when the Worldâs axis has ceased?
Half of Earth on fire and the Other side cold
I still canât ascertain which side holds the most fright
I am plagued by the Death of Timeâstuck here with her
Trapped within everlasting impermanenceâhow?
At a loss for a means to escape this abyss
I am yearning for freedom and peace from this cell
Yet I rest trapped within this unsound time-machine
I am not a savant I do not understandâ
The mechanics at playâand with Timeâs face so close!
With her cheek next to mineâit sends chills down my spine
The imprint of her Death has forever defiled my mindâs eye
I am buried with Time stuck beneath the cold Earth
Is there even a search for my person?âIâm here!
I begin to lament my undue discontent
What am I to do here?âstuck within this hellscape
If I must I will trace my unsure hands acrossâ
The uneven landscape of my skinâhow I shake!
These rough lesionsârecords of my traumasâmy new time
A false time to help cope with this endless despair
Iâm afraid Iâll be left here to rot with her corpse
Her cold Timelessness suffocates meâwill I die?
Can decay root into my warm bones sans fair Time?
Can those flowers take root in my heart as I rot?
Will I even decay if the end will not come?
I will not reincarnate if Time wonât revive
None else scares me as much as this motionless end
I am left in the aftermath following Time
Whatâs this place thatâs without sense of Time? Is it Hell?
Whatâve I done to deserve this damnation of sin?
If not loving another?âI am down on my knees
âEnd my suffering GodââIâm unable to reconcile Loss
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âThose who die will live on in our heartsâ
If the old proclamation rings true
Then my heart hums its aches in each pulse
The most heartbreaking metronome beats
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have a good day
Thanks you too!
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