triviasghost

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*taps microphone* is this thing on? Okay…

🎤 THIS IS A REMINDER THAT ALL OF THE ROBINS ARE SMART, GENIUSES IN FACT. THEY ARE IN A FAMILY OF DETECTIVES. THATS LIKE THEIR WHOLE THING. ALL OF THE ROBINS (AND THE REST OF THE BATFAM TOO) ARE CLEVER, STRATEGIC, AND CAPABLE, NOT JUST TIM. (No hate to my boy Tim, though. I love Tim.) YES, EVEN THAT ONE. Thank you. 🎤

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finished frequency by @cryptocism . needed to churn out a quick piece about it 💔

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I think I need I little bit of encouragement 🤏

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“But it makes total sense, right? Sometimes you’re stuck looking for meaning when it’s just staring you in the face the whole time.”

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Vettel!! 🏎

curious about something so i want to conduct a free-response survey. who (or what) first comes to your mind when you hear the name sebastian

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(break so that you see the post independently before any tags)

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[at Jason's funeral]

Dick: *places his hand on the headstone and sobs*

Dick: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

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Incorrect Batfamily Quotes as things I've heard in psych treatment Pt. 6

Jason: I'll be sad if she dies, but I can't say I didn't warn her.

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Duke: Dude, I want Yoda to be my therapist.

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Bruce: Neo pronouns are titles, right?

Jason: No, they're pronouns.

Bruce: Oh.

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Tim: It wouldn't even be that much work, all I would need to do is abandon all my morals.

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Steph: Autism SPEAKS. Autism does not shut up.

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Tim: It's probably not a good idea to kill people...

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Dick: I finished my intake assessment, and it took me to the crisis hotline.

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Damian: Did you see the way he HOLDS HIM????

Tim: I did, I just didn't like the way he stabbed him.

Damian: I LOVED the way he stabbed him!

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did u kno: ur icon is actually you in 20 years

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Incorrect Batfamily Quotes as things I've heard in psych treatment Pt. 5?

Steph: Sometimes I have thoughts.

Damian: Maybe you shouldn't.

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Bruce: I tried it in college. It didn’t do much for me.

Clark: Pathological lying or marijuana?

Bruce: Both.

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Tim: Duke, are you straight?

Duke: Yeah. Wait, are you asking if I'm good or if I'm gay?

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Dick, to Tim: I'm allowed to listen to Mitski while driving because I'm afraid of pain. And dying. You on the other hand—

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Jason: I'm really good at keeping secrets because I'm really good at forgetting what people say.

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Tim: Y'all, I'm proud to say I think Vyvanse is fixing me.

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Dick, recalling getting shot: I didn't know who our president was for like six months.

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Steph: I got a new emotional support water bottle, please pray for me during this difficult transition.

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Duke: I don't have the balls to do that. I would shrivel into myself like a human foreskin.

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Tim: You can't imagine how much of a slut I'd be if there was a guy who would stab me and manipulate me here.

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Tim: My psychiatrist said grapefruit every once in a while is okay, just not every day.

Damian: Bad Timothy. We will not be eating grapefruit and tempting fate.

Tim: No, he literally said it was okay.

Jason, snickering: Bad Timothy.

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Incorrect Batfamily Quotes as things I've heard in psych treatment Pt. 4

Jason: Mario cart is life, and drugs are the shells.

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Tim: I ate two worms.

Bruce: Why?

Tim: For the experience. Google said it was okay.

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Dick: I'm so sorry for spamming, I have no other friends.

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Stephanie: He's a really bad psychiatrist, but I do love him with all my heart.

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Jason: Christ did not rise from the dead for me to have to do this.

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Tim: Calm down, I'm overwhelmed not suicidal.

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Bruce: That just means you've done something really wrong, and you need to drink water.

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Jason: I'm pretty well adjusted.

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Damian: I'm not grumpy, I'm just depressed.

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Incorrect Batfamily Quotes as things I've heard in psych treatment Pt. 3

Alfred: So isolation has worked out well for you in the past?

Tim: Yeah.

Alfred: I beg to differ, I've read your file.

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Jason: Better to be laughing stock than chicken stock.

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Tim: I'm going to use a skill where I sew everyone's mouths shut.

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Jason: These willing hands are about to turn into willing fists.

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Dick: Mario Cart is like a metaphor for my life.

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Dick: Are you someone?

Tim: Dubiously.

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Tim: My psychiatrist told me he can't taper all my meds at once, and I said, "Watch me, I'll do it for you!"

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Tim: Hey, I had access to the internet as a kid.

Dick: That's very evident, Tim.

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Stephanie: I never forget, because I never remember.

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Incorrect Batfamily Quotes as things I've heard in psych treatment Pt. 2

Harley Quinn: It's therapy, not an argument.

Bruce: No, but I'll still win.

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Jason: I know it's addicting, but find something else to be addicted to.

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Jason: I eat at Chik-fil-a when I'm mad at my gay friends.

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Tim, after a 10 minute tangent: Did you guys know there's an Adderall shortage?

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Dick, on a stakeout: My lithium bladder won't last 3 hours.

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Steph: Hey, guys, if it were the 1920's, would we be in a mental asylum.

Everyone: Yes.

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Damian: I love cries of despair, I feast on sadness.

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Alfred: We're not playing anymore.

Jason: Aw, why not?

Alfred: Because you guys keep joking about suicide.

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Dick: Is it a trauma response?

Jason: Eh, that's what I tell people.

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Tim: I'm taking a detox from my meds.

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Incorrect Batfamily Quotes as things I've heard during psych treatment

Jason: I'll put you in my suicide note.

Bruce: Please just call it your will like normal people.

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Tim: I got banned from going to the park at night; they said I have no regard for my personal safety.

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Alfred: I fear for your nonstick cookware.

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Damian: I hate you, I'm going to trigger your fear of abandonment now.

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Dick: Italian ice is more trustworthy than people.

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Jason: You don't want to fish for piranhas with your penis out.

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Tim: Can cannibalism cure antisemitism?

Jason: I guess if you eat all the antisemites.

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Tim: I think this coffee just cured my SI.

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Bruce: No, listen, I believe in you, I'm just planning for the worst.

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Tim: Dick, lovingly, I think I know more about p*rn than you.

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Jason: I aspire to be a narcissist.

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Dick: I want to crawl into a hole. I'll come back out! I just need a little hole time.

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Damian: let's sacrifice my dad today.

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*At a Batfamily meeting*

Tim: As the only one in a committed relationship- Selina doesn't count after your whole wedding drama- I really feel-

Jason: what do you mean 'thE OnLY oNe', you aren't the only one

Tim: oh yeah, who else is in a serious committed relationship?

Jason: Me? I've literally been married for years?

Bruce: EXCUSE ME???

Dick: who to?

Jason: Roy

Dick: EXCUSE ME??? EWWW YOU AND ROY, GET THIS IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD, MY FRIEND AND MY LITTLE BROTHER GROSSS

Jason: Wait, did none of you know? I literally call him my partner all the time

Tim: To be honest we thought you meant partner in crime, not marriage

Jason: I mean, both but still...

*Later, during the ✨vigilante hours✨ of the night*

Bruce: I hear you are married to my son

Roy, panicking cause Bruce is really protective of his kids: Oh, shit, um, yes- yes sir

Bruce: without my blessing

Roy: uh, yeah, we were on a time crunch, married couples can't testify against each other

Bruce: without inviting me to the wedding

Roy: I uh- you were gone that weekend, business trip

Bruce: I haVE A PRIVATE JET, I WOULD HAVE FLOWN IN! IT WAS MY SONS WEDDING, I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE BEEN THERE

Roy: I'm sorry, sir

Bruce: tell me one more thing

Bruce: was Ollie there?

Roy: No

Bruce: Does Ollie know

Roy: No

Bruce: your recompense is to allow me to be the one to tell him so I can brag to him that I knew first

Roy: uh, sure?

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tim: the chances of you getting killed by your dead sibling is low

*Jason walks in to frame wearing a robin costume*

tim: but never zero

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i find the dischotomy between the batfam's potential to kill vs their real-world willingness to kill very interesting! so I made a graph because I'm a nerd

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batman rogues ranked worst to best

15. you

14: can’t

13: rank

12: them

11: because

10: they’re

9: all

8: amazing

7: and

6: different

5: in

4: their

3: own

2: ways

1: Harvey Dent