#aspd spectrum

[autopsyfreak]

my anhedonia is eating me alive so i’m making these mental illness memes to cope

[villain-disorder]

Unfortunately, I think stigmatised disorder (personality disorders, psychotic disorders, etc) culture is realising something you experience has a name and finally feeling seen, but you go to google it for more resources and only find people talking about how horrible and morally evil you are for daring to have that symptom you never chose in the first place.

[definitelynotaweirdo]

[doomsdayradio]

btw shout out to people with disorders that are stigmatized as dangerous killers who actually have homicidal thoughts and urges. people with DID, ASPD, schizospec disorders and psychosis, ect. you're not perpetuating stereotypes or ableist by existing and having your personal experience and anyone who blames you for that is an asshole. take care.

[scyththing]

ೀㅤㅤCluster B attraction flags

Remakes of my old post

FPattraction - BPD exclusive

An aro/ace/apl (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels attraction towards their favorite person. Can be any type of attraction (romantic, sexual, platonic,etc)

ATPattraction - HPD exclusive

An aro/ace/apl (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels attraction towards their attention person. Can be any type of attraction (romantic, sexual, platonic,etc)

CHPattraction + EPattraction - NPD exclusive

An aro/ace/apl (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels attraction towards their chosen₁ and/or equal₂ person. Can be any type of attraction (romantic, sexual, platonic,etc)

EXPattraction + PICattraction - ASPD exclusive

An aro/ace/apl (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels attraction towards their exception₁ and/or partner in crime₂ person. Can be any type of attraction (romantic, sexual, platonic,etc)

 ྀི◟ ͜ ̣̣̥⠀Tagging: @heliotropecollective

[irequirealobotomy]

i love the fact that i am a real human person with the ability to learn and grow and become something amazing but god do i wish i was better at it

[shawdios]

Loveless.

Had a bit of a breakdown last night because I finally got around to reading The Giver. And FUCKKKKK that book. I’ve never had one of those a-spec experiences of “I feel broken for not feeling [x]” before, but that book triggered one.

I don’t experience love. It’s always been a fictional thing for me. Or performative. I saw people in relationships growing up, loving their friends, loving their family, or loving their partners, and it always felt fake? Like wtf are you doing?

And like a lot of things I thought were normal growing up (didn’t know people ACTUALLY heard things when told to imagine it, or that seeing an overlay of static on your vision wasn’t normal), I’ve had my reality shaken. And yet again I’m reminded that I’m Other. I’m what the stories portray as the evil inhuman alien or the evil, because it’s run on logic not love, robot.

But, my bestie as I call them because they’re the only person I will be on an emotional connection level affected by if they were to leave my life, they don’t make me feel Other. Im confused when they say “love you”, but they don’t judge me for not saying it back. They don’t judge me for not feeling what they feel. Nor do they judge me for my violent emotions and disordered mind. They just accept my attachment, my clinging, to their presence in my life.

That’s the closest thing to “love” I have to give. And I’m trying to be okay with that.

[midnight-soulless-system]

"That's so psychotic" "Lol I'm so delusional about him" "Look at the crazy freak" "She's literally insane"

SHUT UP!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!! And fuck you.

If you say you're delusional about someone and then get upset when I say "yeah same" and you freak out because I actually have delusions? Fuck you.

If you call people insane and then think schizophrenics are just mediums and blessed by visions? Fuck you.

If you call people "psychos" or "psychotic" when they're just doing something you disagree with? Double fuck you from both the psychotic and ASPD community.

And if you say "look at that crazy freak"? Fuck you. I hope that one day you get treated like one of those "crazy freaks". I hope you understand what it feels like, and I hope you fucking change.

[antisocialsharky]

ASPD - Reduced To Being Subhuman

Do you know whats its like to be categorically excluded from being human?

Do you know how it feels to know, that no matter how much you work on yourself, no matter what you do, no matter how much you contain your urges and no matter how desperately you try to belong, your entire fucking species has already decided that you are not a part of them?

Its rejection on an uncomprehensible scale. A repetitive slap in the face at every corner. Barely being permitted to walk among them and never more than that.

Fake promises of letting you in, while never stopping to cast you out. Demands of your action and care, while keeping the possibility of actually doing it out of your reach. Its fucked.

"What seperates humans from other animals, is their ability to form deep bonds with others, work together on a big scale, feel deep empathy and care for one another and go against ones survival instinct to protect others out of love"

"If you don't feel empathy, you're not human"

"Art is what connects people, the deeply embedded emotions in it, that can only be felt and understood, if you have what it takes to be human. The ability to feel with others"

"The most important thing for humans is connection and community. Caring about each other, feeling for each other and not having any intentions to harm others"

"Those who harm others are sick and don't belong. They're not human, cus if they were, their empathy and guilt and morals would prevent them from doing it"

If the core of being a human is to feel with others, to care, to connect, to subscribe to morals and to experience all of these things on the regular, that suggests, that those who do not feel that and cannot do that, aren't human.

This would only be an assumption, if it wasn't fucking proven to us in every goddamn moment of our existence.

The world is full of the insistence that without empathy, without connection, without morals, you're not human. It starts with music and books circling around the concept and ends with people using a lack of empathy as an explanation for any depraved thing they can think of.

Its impossible to exist, to consume, to live, without being assaulted by lines and images that question your very right to exist and be a member of this species.

If your love isn't an emotional care for others, its not human.

If your friendship isn't based on deep emotional connection, its not human.

If your care isn't based on genuine distress at seeing the other upset/in pain, its not human.

If your activism isn't based on being emotionally appalled and angry and distressed about what you're seeing, its not human.

If your actions aren't based on morals that are important to you, they're not human.

If you cannot understand art and do not feel moved by books and songs and movies, you're not human.

If you wouldn't go out of your way to save others, you're not human.

If your apology isn't motivated by genuine remorse, its not human.

If your behavior change isn't motivated by genuine care and guilt, its not human.

Not human. Not human. Not human. Never fucking human.

Do you know that they call those who they perceive as not human? Monsters. Sick. Deranged. Insane.

Do you know what things they classify as monstrous and sick and deranged and insane?

• not feeling empathy

• not feeling remorse

• being aggressive

• feeling pleasure at other peoples suffering

• feeling pleasure at your own suffering

• making reckless impulsive decisions

• living in a different reality

• being able to handle and look at topics they find morally wrong

• being obsessed instead of feeling love

• lying and being manipulative

• breaking laws

• not thinking about other people's safety/health

• being self obsessed or grandiose

• mood swings/erractic mood

• and basically every other symptom of all the mh conditions

Its not just behaviors that could cause harm, that make you a monster in their eyes. Its your brain. Its who you are. You will never actually be human in their eyes, because you lack everything they require in order to see you as human.

They make that clear by defining healthy relationships with these human qualities.

They make that clear by having them be part of job descriptions.

They make that clear by having them as community guidelines and rules.

They make that clear by inserting them into laws and judging you based on them in court.

They make that clear by defining their prosocial society based on them.

Without the human qualities, you will never be their equal. You will never get to experience what they do, you can always just watch from the outside and imagine what it might be like.

They make fake promises, telling you, that if only you went to therapy, if only you changed, if only you took those meds, if only you just followed what they told...you would finally get to be human.

But no. They may pretend. They may accept the show you put on as barely passing, but their requirements will not change and you're still not meeting them. You're tolerated, not accepted.

And they still don't want you there. If they did, they wouldn't make therapy so hard to access, they wouldn't continue spreading the stigma in psych lectures, they wouldn't continue refusing you treatment, they wouldn't continue telling you that you're destined for prison, they wouldn't demand for the d*ath pentalty to be brought back for people like you.

If they truly wanted you there, they would change the requirements for what makes you a human being. They don't.

So you do the only thing that is left for you. Your only option.

You find comfort in sickness. You make yourself at home in your deranged insane mind. You embrace the monster.

You adjust to being aggressive first and anything else later. You grow comfortable with the demons in your brain suggesting violent ideas. You get used to your fascination with the morbid and wrong. You learn to tolerate the loneliness and absence of others and your own emotions. You grow okay with recklessly and impulsively ruining your and other peoples lifes every now and then.

You embrace who you are and maybe you push the boundaries and delve deeper into the sickness of your own mind. Cuddling up under blankets of new levels of violence. Resting on added defenses and removing yourself further and further from other peoples idea of what and who you should be.

It doesn't always stop the longing. You might still catch yourself desperately hoping that maybe you can change, maybe you will get to experience those things as deeply and humanely as others do. You might grow frustrated and angry with yourself when you can't. You might lie in anguish, tossing and turning while your brain throws insults at you and repeats how much of a failure you are for being subhuman, not wanted, not perfect.

But maybe the longing becomes less. Maybe you don't need to be angry with yourself quite as often. Maybe you can be understood by other monsters, by others who are sick and insane and deranged. Maybe you can finally talk freely about your thoughts and your emotions and your urges.

Maybe you didn't need to be human afterall. Maybe being a monster is enough.

first posted on my instagram (same @)

[autopsyfreak]

if i see one more ‘delulu’ im going to hurt someone

[aspdshibusawa]

needing support because you're autistic, yet hating to ask for help and feeling weak when you do is a nightmare

[littleoddwriter]

when y'all stop perpetuating stigmas and demonisations of certain mental disorders you deem 'scary' and 'problematic', we can actually start having a conversation about it.

self-absorbed people aren't immediately 'narcissistic'. stop using it as an insult to or even descriptor of every person you feel is being particularly selfish or conceited. NPD is a serious disorder and should be treated as such. stop demonising it.

and also, abusers who use the tactics of putting others down, making everything about them, etc. are extremely self-absorbed and could be anyone. stop making it look like it's just people with NPD, who themselves are abuse victims... often of that exact abuse you accuse them of. same goes for BPD and emotional abuse/using emotions and outbursts as abuse tactics...

generally start treating people with a cluster B personality disorder like the human beings they are, deserving of respect and kindness, just like everybody else.

stop throwing around the word 'psychotic' when you're really just trying to say somebody is 'evil' or 'deranged'. psychosis is a very serious symptom of extremely demonised disorders, like schizophrenia. people with it are just as deserving of respect and kindness as every other human being is.

low/no empathy doesn't make you a bad person. not having compassion doesn't make you a bad person. it's okay for people to not have those traits. they aren't 'monsters' for it. nor are they undeserving of your love and compassion for it, either.

in order to have a nuanced and helpful conversation about stigmas of mental disorders, you need to understand your own partaking in them and unlearn those words, behaviours and thought patterns. please.

sincerely, a person with a cluster B disorder that is sick of your hypocritical bullshit aka ableism

[xxpunkbovidxx]

It's all "we support all mental illnesses/disorders" until the Schizospec person has delusions

Until the being with OSDD/DID switches

Until the being with ASPD struggles with empathy

Until the being with PTSD has an episode because they're having flashbacks

Until the being with depression is too depressed to brush their teeth

Until the being with ADHD forgets something important

Until the being with OCD gets stressed because they can't do their counting ritual

Until the being with Autism Spectrum Disorder gets overstimulated at the party

No, you don't support us.

[scyththing]

Cluster-B attraction flags

(transabled DNI)

FPattraction - BPD exclusive

An aro/ace (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels (romantic/sexual/etc) attraction towards their favorite person.

ATPattraction - HPD exclusive

An aro/ace (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels (romantic/sexual/etc) attraction towards their attention person.

EPattraction / CHPattraction - NPD exclusive

An aro/ace (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels (romantic/sexual/etc) attraction towards their equal person and/or chosen person.

EXPattraction / PICattraction - ASPD exclusive

An aro/ace (depending on how it is used) label where an individual only or mostly feels (romantic/sexual/etc) attraction towards their exception person and/or partner in crime.

[autigrrrlfailure]

neurotypicals who can control their thoughts please shut the fuck up

[dollarstore-kins]

Self Indulgent Antiso-Gay Tord Icons

Meaning: Antiso- is a prefix for a romantic/sexual/sensual/etc. attraction that is affected by an individual's own Antisocial Personality Disorder.

-Mod Shade