accidentallyadoptedbybatman

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

I would not want to be the poor person who has to cast Nightwing

You're going to have to pull out some Once-in-a-Century Face Card 2000s Tom Welling Megan Fox actor never before found to get away with it because when I think of Nightwing this is the official art flashes through my head

This facecard has to change lives and I would not want to be the one who casts it

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

"Maybe I'll kill that reporter who does all your interviews. Maybe I'll kill Clark Kent."

This is the most important line in the movie. I'm 100% serious. It tells you everything you need to know about Lex Luthor's character. It shows the audience that, despite being almost omnicognizant from the get-go, Luthor clearly has no fucking idea who Superman is, only what he does.

I've never seen anyone go from All-Knowing Evil to Absolute Fucking Loser so fast. In fifteen words he went from unstoppable criminal powerhouse to flailing manchild moron. He gave his Evil Dictator demonstration and then turned around, dropped his pants and showed his entire ass. He proclaimed his manifesto of unrelenting ego, turned around, slipped on a banana peel and landed on a whoopie cushion.

And he was so mired in his own sense of superiority that he never even knew it.

Lex Luthor, folks. Ten out of ten, no notes.

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

I wanna see falling acrobats Reeves

FALLING.

ACROBATS.

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

Shout out to Eve Teschmacher tho. She realized her boyfriend was a piece of shit and that she was in extreme danger, and she managed to gather everything needed to take him down without him catching on until it was too late.

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

Superman: *flips the desk*

Lex, internally: Oh I'm having his child

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

Between Krypto and that one dog that wouldn't move from under the beasts foot I'm starting to think that Clark has just terrible luck with dogs

How would Bat dog act to him?? I feel I must know

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

Guy Gardener was such a DICK in Superman

AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

Oh I know Mr Terrific asks for more money in his funding everytime Guy pulls smth

You just know he asked for a massive raise after the rift

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

"PEOPLE WERE GOING TO DIE"

and it's that simple

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

Yo James can we get teen/young adult lois with like a mowhawk or liberty spikes or smth??

I see the multiple piercings on her ears LEMME SEE HER FULL PUNK WITH TATS JAMES

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

PlanetWatch?? PLANETWATCH???

You're one of the smartest men in the world and you landed on PlanetWatch??

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

Either Lex pays his people REALLY REALLY well or they all have a thing for bald men cause wat

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

BRB gonna go cheat on my husband DC with my occasional lover Marvel

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

Yo someone tell me if those little monsters are on tumblr so I know how safely I can yap about Red Hood Resurrection

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

I know David's a good actor cause I saw that man in Twisters and Let. Me. Tell. You

I hated him.

I HATED HIM.

I LOOKED AT HIM WENT "oooo he cute" AND THEN HE OPENED HIS MOUTH AND I HATED HIS ASS CAUSE HIS CHARACTER'S SUCH A DICK

If I can love this man as Superman and hate his character in Twisters he a good goddamn actor.

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

I hath heard rumours... that Joker...is the next Batman villain

Oh Joy

ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE'S SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM AND YOU PICK THE COMMON BITCH?? WHAT'S HE GONNA DO "HE HE HO HO BATMAN WATCH ME BLOW UP THESE PEOPLE CAUSE IM THE JOKER AND ITS FUNNY TO ME HEHE BATSY" NO NOT AGAIN HE'S SO COMMON IN BATMAN FILMS AND I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HIS ASS AGAIN?? WHY NOT SCARECROW OR FREEZE WHO WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER FOR A FLOODED FEAR-FILLED GOTHAM BUT NOOO I MIGHT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE STUPID CLOWN FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME HE'S NOT EVEN A GOOD CLOWN

[accidentallyadoptedbybatman]

Ok, imagine you're comic accurate Clark Kent and you're a working-class immigrant raised on a farm. You grow up and dedicate your life to helping people while being a total malewife to your Pulitzer prize winner girlfriend. You're despised and targeted by an unethical, megalomaniacal billionaire who thinks his intellect and his power and his wealth entitles him to your inherent abilities and the adoration you've earned through years of nonstop altruism. YOU WERE CREATED BY TWO JEWISH MEN IN THE 1930S

And then people complain about a movie about you being too woke