ayexaye
ayexaye
Valen
51 posts
✩₊˚.⋆ "Even through thistles and thorns, we must keep moving forward." ⋆⁺₊✧
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ayexaye · 1 day ago
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Shidou Ryusei who doesn't believe in subtlety. Everyone will know he loves you, even people who didn't ask.
Shidou Ryusei who has gotten into a fight for you (and has won).
Shidou Ryusei who rolls his eyes when you baby him after a game but melts into your touch as you cuddle him and run your fingers through his hair.
Shidou Ryusei who gets quiet when you cry because he wants to comfort you but doesn't know how.
Shidou Ryusei who has no volume control when talking about you and will give you the filthiest compliments even in public.
Shidou Ryusei who loves to playfully bite you on your neck and shoulders.
Shidou Ryusei who kisses you hard and fast when he's overwhelmed or frustrated because that's the only way he knows how to ground himself.
Shidou Ryusei who kept a screenshot of you calling him “pretty” and won't shut up about it.
Shidou Ryusei who thinks date night means dragging you to a field and watching him practice.
Shidou Ryusei who doesn't like being called cute unless it's you saying it.
── .✦
𖹭.ᐟ Masterlist
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ayexaye · 2 days ago
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˚⋆。°✩₊ "Of course I remember you!" [Part 2] ᡣ𐭩
Bachira Meguru x gn!reader, childhood friends to strangers to lovers, 1k~ words, not proof read
Part 1
── .✦
You found him in the playground, hiding under one of the play structures so no teachers could see him. He sat with his knees up to his chest, face buried halfway behind his arms, but you could see the beginnings of a bruise blossoming on his cheek peeking out from behind his sleeve.
He said nothing when you sat beside him.
“I told you not to fight them.”
“They called me a freak again!” He snapped, frustrated by the other children. “And one of them pushed me and… they act like I'm a weirdo all the time!”
You nodded along. “They're just jerks.”
“They always are. Just ‘cause I talk to myself sometimes… and I like monsters and stuff..” He quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve, but it wasn't fast enough to hide that his eyes were starting to water.
You scooted closer. “I like your monsters.”
“... You do?” His voice wavered, like he was trying to hold back tears.
“They're cool. And fun. Like you.”
That got a small laugh out of him. “You don't think I'm a weirdo?”
“Obviously not. You're my best friend, dummy.”
His hand idly drew in the dirt as he thought for a moment. “I wish you could stay with me forever.”
“I will.”
You meant it back then, but you didn't keep that promise. You moved, lost touch, left behind the boy who wished you'd stay forever.
And yet here you were now, once again sitting beside Bachira in the grass of a quiet park with takeout boxes in your laps. He texted you not even an hour after exchanging numbers after the game, asking to meet the next weekend.
You kept stealing glances at him as he poked at his food, taking in his new appearance. He had his hair half tied up to keep it out of his face–you couldn’t remember him doing that as a kid.
“Stop staring,” he said without even looking up at you. His voice was casual, but the small smirk curling at the corner of his mouth gave him away. Your heart leaped out of your chest.
“I wasn’t!” You said, looking down and shoving food into your mouth to distract yourself from the embarrassment.
Bachira laughed, “You’re a bad liar. You always were, y’know.”
You smiled, and the warmth you felt seemed to refuse to go away.
“So,” he began as he leaned back on his hands with a lazy smile, “are you gonna disappear again, or do I get to keep you this time?”
“It’s not like I wanted to,” you said quietly. “It just… happened.”
“I know,” he said, softer than you expected. “But it still sucked.”
You felt a sense of guilt bubble in your chest that made it hard to meet his eyes. You felt bad for leaving, even if it wasn’t your fault. Both of you fell quiet.
Bachira didn’t look like that kid who got picked on in the schoolyard anymore. He looked like someone who worked hard and trained hard and grew into someone you knew he could be, everything he dreamed of being. His features were more defined but his eyes still held that playful look. He was happy.
You don’t know when you started smiling, but Bachira certainly caught it.
“What?” He asked, strands of hair falling out of the tie as he tilted his head.
“Nothing.” You said quickly as he snapped you out of your thoughts. “Just thinking.. About how different you are now.”
He leaned forward, crossing his legs and letting his hands fall into his lap. “Different how? Be honest. Is that your way of saying I'm hot now?”
Your face warmed and you immediately ducked your head. “I didn’t say that.”
“But you thought it,” he teased as he nudged your knee with his. “You totally did.”
You didn’t answer right away, choosing to stare down at your lap with a weak smile. When you glanced back up, you were met with the sight of Bachira watching you, with an expression that was gentler than before. The way he looked at you made your breath hitch.
“I'm really glad you came.” He said.
“I thought it might have been a dumb idea.” You admitted. “I wasn't sure you'd remember me.”
“Are you serious?” He replied, almost seeming insulted at the idea. “You were my best friend. I could never forget you.”
“But honestly, I thought you might have forgotten about me too,” he continued, pulling up the blades of grass between his fingers. “I mean, I know it wasn't your fault, but I thought you might've moved on completely.”
You had to swallow the sudden lump in your throat. “I didn’t mean to leave things like that,” you replied softly. “Life just got complicated and.. before I knew it, we drifted apart.”
Bachira hummed.
And like it was the most normal thing in the world, “I think I like you.”
“What?!” You replied, stunned.
And he looked at you like you were the one being weird. “I mean it. I've been trying to figure it out since you came to the game that day. And I think I like you.”
Your breath caught in your throat as you tried to gather your thoughts. “You.. you can't just drop something like that out of nowhere!”
“Why not?” He replied, tilting his head. “It's true!”
You sighed, taking a moment to calm yourself down, a hand on your chest as if it would slow your racing heart. You laughed quietly, muttering, “You really are the same as back then."
“Hey, it's your turn.” He nudged you again.
“What?”
He leaned forward, a sly smile on his face. “To say you like me back.”
“Since when were you so full of yourself?”
He grinned. “That's not a no.”
“You're impossible,” you mumbled as you buried your face in your hands.
“So do you like me?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?” He repeated dramatically, pouting. He put his hand over his heart like you had wounded him. “I pour my heart out and all I get is a maybe?”
You shoved his arm, but still smiled and finally replied, “Okay, fine! Yes, I like you! Happy now?”
He hooked an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him as he hugged you. “Yup. Very.”
── .✦
𖹭.ᐟ BONUS
It was your second real date. Nothing fancy, just a hole-in-the-wall place that he insisted had the best noodles in the world, and then walking around aimlessly until the sun began to dip down under the horizon. And at some point, he grabbed your hand and never let go.
“You're definitely swooning right now.” Bachira said as you reached your street, swinging your hands back and forth between you.
“From what? You spilling sauce on your shirt?”
He shrugged. “Could've been worse. Like spilling it on you.”
Once the two of you reached your front gate, Bachira took both of your hands in his, standing in front of you. “So,” he said, leaning down closer to you. “Do I get a good night kiss?”
You laughed, leaning up to peck his cheek, but he turned at the last second, just enough for it to brush the corner of his lips.
You pulled back, surprised. “You-!”
He grinned, smug. “Oops.”
“You're such a troublemaker..” You said as you shoved his shoulder, feeling heat creep up your neck.
“But you still like me.”
You shook your head as you turned to go inside.
“Text me when you're in bed!” He yelled from behind you, and you couldn't help but smile.
Maybe you were swooning a little bit.
── .✦
𖹭.ᐟ Masterlist
Taglist; @stal1n33
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ayexaye · 3 days ago
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Michael Kaiser who is absolutely shameless about showing off that you're his.
Michael Kaiser that sends you good morning selfies when he's away, mid workout routine.
Michael Kaiser who pretends he hates clinginess but gets moody if you don't reply within 10 minutes.
Michael Kaiser who subtly makes sure he's the one on the street side of the sidewalk.
Michael Kaiser who gets you front row seats to all of his games, and makes sure you get every piece of merch.
Michael Kaiser who tells the interviewer that every goal was for you.
Michael Kaiser who only let you paint his nails because you “begged so much” but makes sure to position his hands so that the camera sees it during interviews.
Michael Kaiser who buys you a bottle of his luxury cologne for when he's away.
Michael Kaiser who teases you relentlessly but gets quiet when you say “I love you” a little too genuinely.
Michael Kaiser who flaunts his relationship with you but doesn't actually think he deserves your love.
── .✦
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ayexaye · 5 days ago
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"Like Father, Like son"
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Michael Kaiser x GN!Reader
Synopsis; Set after the events of Blue Lock, shortly after Kaiser returns to Germany. You watch him fall into alcoholism and become exactly like what he hated most: his father.
Based on this short kaiser fic I wrote
⚠️Content warning: angst, alcohol abuse, arguments, toxic relationship, non-graphic physical aggression, abuse, self-destructive behavior (kaiser chokes himself), hurt no comfort. 1.8k~ words
A/n; I'm literally so proud of this it's lowkey one of my favorite things I've ever written.. if theres anything I didn't put in the warning that you think I should add pls don't hesitate to lmk!
Cross-posted on Ao3
── .✦
You noticed something was off in the way he kissed you goodnight.
It wasn't particularly rough or cold, it was just different. It was like his mind was somewhere else. His lips would barely linger on your forehead before turning over and muttering something about how tired he was, when before you would fall asleep tangled in each other's arms.
You tried not to think about it too much. He was training harder, obsessing over missed shots and watching past matches over and over and over until early morning.
But he wouldn't really explain what was going on. No, the perfect but ever so fragile Michael Kaiser couldn't be that vulnerable.
So you thought that if you gave him time he'd get over whatever was going on with him.
But then came the morning where he wouldn't eat and he'd go to practice hungry.
And the afternoons where he'd come home from practice and either shy away from any interaction with you or drop off his things and leave again.
And the evenings where his mood would shift at the drop of a hat.
And that sharp, bitter scent that you caught on him when he'd return in the evening that you'd try to convince yourself it wasn't what you thought it was.
You told yourself it couldn't be alcohol.
You told yourself that Kaiser wasn't like that.
He wouldn't be like him.
Michael Kaiser hated his father, probably more than any other thing in this world. You'd seen that look in his eyes when he spoke about him, even if it happened rarely. That haunted, tortured glare that left him as a shell of a human being.
Kaiser once told you, “If I end up like him, you may as well kill me yourself.”
You thought it was a morbid joke, a way to cope with everything he's been through, so you laughed.
You weren't laughing anymore.
You didn't think it was a problem yet per se. He wasn't an alcoholic. But he's started keeping a bottle in that cabinet above the fridge that neither of you really used. Maybe he thought you wouldn't notice it was there. You never saw him pour a glass or drink anything, at least not at home, but you knew.
And tonight was another awkwardly silent night for you two. He was sat on the bed, blankly staring at his phone, jaw clenched, and you could smell it on him again.
Your throat clenched as you approached him. You slipped into bed beside him, letting your hands fall limply in your lap as you lowered your head.
“You're drinking?” you asked softly. You hated the way your voice sounded meek.
His shoulders tensed. He didn’t look up from the screen. “It's not like that.”
You shifted to face him properly. “Then what is it like?”
His thumb scrolled aimlessly across the screen. “Drop it,” he muttered. “It's not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal?”
He scoffed. “Jesus Christ, I didn't come home to be interrogated.”
It stung a bit. You turned away from him again. “I'm not interrogating you, Kaiser. I'm just worried.”
The sheets rustled as he turned over in bed, tossing his phone onto the night stand. “Worry about something that matters.”
“Kaiser-"
“Didn't I say to drop it?”
And that was the end of it. The line was drawn in the sand.
You sat there for a long while, watching his chest faintly rise and fall in the darkness of your bedroom. You wanted to press him on it, to keep asking questions, to get him to talk more like he used to.
But something in his body language screamed at you to not engage, to lay back and swallow your worries.
And so you did, pulling the covers up more and careful not to touch him.
You stared up at the ceiling, watching the fan circle as you listened to faint sounds of the city and the rhythmic battering of the pouring rain outside. Anything to distract you from the man who laid beside you.
It wasn't always like this. Just months ago there were nights where he'd pull you close, arms wrapped tight around your waist, kissing your shoulder and mumbling about his goals and training and how he was so lucky to have someone like you with him despite his shitty upbringing.
And now you can't think about a recent time where he touched you while he was sober without flinching away.
And you were starting to flinch too.
You rolled over slowly, turning your back to him, biting your lip hard enough to hurt.
You wouldn't cry. You couldn't . Because crying made it feel like this was real. That this wasn't just stress.
It meant you had to admit to yourself that he was changing.
It meant you had to admit to yourself that he already had.
You woke up to the faint sound of the front door clicking shut.
No "good morning.” No kiss goodbye. The space in the bed beside you was left empty and cold.
You dragged yourself out of bed and down to the kitchen. Without thinking, almost in a daze, you opened the cabinet above the refrigerator.
It was a different bottle than you remember from last week. You stretched to reach it, pulling it down to inspect it.
The label was clearly foreign, and if you had to guess, it was a luxury brand. And it was half empty.
You shoved it back into its place in the cabinet before leaning your head against the fridge, the cool emanating from the door grounding you.
He said it wasn't a big deal.
You were curled up on the couch, the TV quietly playing in the background.
He came home late again. It was happening more often, and every time he came back smelling of alcohol.
He didn't look at you and he said nothing. Just dropped his bag, kicked his shoes off, and walked right past you.
Your fingers curled around the blanket on your lap as you sat up straighter.
“Hey, you're back,” you said softly. “I waited for you.”
He paused, already by the hallway, hand clenched on the wall. “You didn't need to.”
You wanted to scream at him. To shake him and make him look at you .
“Have you eaten?” You said as you stood up, trying to keep your voice casual.
“Not hungry.”
He had already disappeared into the bedroom before you could reply.
It started because he didn't answer his phone. Four texts, five missed calls, and not one answer.
You cooked dinner, and waited, and watched the food get cold.
You paced around the living room, eyes glued to your phone to see if you could at least catch a little typing bubble pop up by his name to at least know that he was okay.
But then the front door swung open and he reeked of alcohol.
“Are you serious right now?”
He froze, just barely inside the door, coat dripping from rain water.
“Five calls and not a single fucking reply.” You said as you held your phone up.
He shrugged off his coat and threw it by the coat rack, not bothering to take the time to hang it up properly.
“Didn't see ‘em.”
“Don't lie to me.” You said as you followed him to the kitchen.
He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
“Are you really out drinking every fucking night?”
The plastic bottle cracked with how tight he gripped it.
“Kaiser, say something-”
The fridge door slammed shut. “What the fuck do you want me to say?” He finally snapped, whirling around to you.
You flinched back, but didn't back down. Not when you finally got him to look at you.
“I want the truth. I want you . I want the person you cared about when I worried and who didn't run away from their problems and try to solve it with alcohol.”
Kaiser stared at you, eyes glazed over and breathing heavily. His hair stuck to his forehead from both the rain and the sweat. He looked deeply exhausted in a way that made him nearly unrecognizable from the man you fell in love with.
He laughed. “You think this is about you?”
Your heart dropped as he stepped toward you, waving the bottle around. “You think I'm doing this to hurt you or something? Shit. You don't know anything.”
“I'm just trying to help-”
“I didn't fucking ask you to!” He yelled.
He threw the bottle, not at you but across the room. It hit the wall with a hollow thud as water gushed out of it onto the tile floor.
And then he reached out, leaning in close as he grabbed your arm with a sloppy but tight grip, enough that you think it might bruise later.
“I said.. drop it.” He slurred.
And you flinched hard. His hand released you instantly, like your skin had scalded him.
You were frozen, staring at him wide eyed, hand hovering over the spot on your arm that he grabbed.
He tried to take a step forward and you took a step back.
“No, no- Fuck, baby, I didn't mean..”
You shook your head, opening your mouth but no words would come out. All you could think about was the echo of his voice in your head, the sharp, slurred edge to it, the angry heat to his grip, the loathing in his eyes.
You turned around and went straight to the door, grabbing your keys that hung on the rack beside it.
Kaiser followed, “Hey- hey! Don't - can't we just- please. Don't leave me right now.”
Kaiser stood alone in the kitchen, bending down to pick up the now almost empty water bottle from the ground.
He stared at his reflection in the oven door, wild-eyed and trembling.
Michael Kaiser, for the first time since he began playing soccer, didn't feel powerful.
He felt just like him.
He staggered back, hand dragging over his neck as he let out a strangled breath and squeezed tight. His fingers pressed in harder, curling around the side of his neck as he fell to his knees on the floor, almost knocking his head against the counter while he did.
Kaiser always did this when he felt like shit. When he couldn't stand the sound of his own voice or the look of his own face. When he needed to punish himself. When he needed to feel something real.
His hand pressed tighter, knuckles turning white as he tried not to cry.
He squeezed until his sight began to blur, until the ringing in his ears began. Until he collapsed, hands bracing against the floor, still slick with water, to keep himself upright.
He sat quietly, forced to listen to the sound of his own wrecked, ragged breathing.
And he had absolutely no one to blame but himself.
── .✦
𖹭.ᐟ Masterlist
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ayexaye · 5 days ago
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˚⋆。°✩₊ When they realize that they like you ᡣ𐭩
Includes: Isagi Yoichi, Rin Itoshi, Alexis Ness, Shidou Ryusei
── .✦
𖹭.ᐟ Isagi Yoichi
-He gets so awkward around you, it's not insanely obvious but enough to tell he's acting different
-The biggest overthinker ever. When you were just friends he wasn't, but when he realizes he has a crush on you he's always thinking about every little thing he says and does around you
-Calls you by your name cause any nicknames make him think about what would be like to call you more romantic nicknames, and then about what it be like to date you.. and he just gets himself flustered
-He watches you, studying how you laugh and what you laugh at, your expressions, how you speak and hold yourself, everything
-Compliment him and he gets all red and hides his face, “You can't say stuff like that..”
-He's too embarrassed to tell you on his own. The only way he'll do it is if you give really obvious signs (and even then bachira needs to be his hype man and convince him)
-OR after a game, when he's full of adrenaline and exhausted, it just slips out
-He's so shocked if you like him back, he needs like a full minute to process what you said
𖹭.ᐟ Rin Itoshi
-Completely denies it at first
-Like, no, he's not staring, you're just distracting for no reason
-You catch him staring and he'll narrow his eyes and act like you're the weird one staring at him
-He gets jealous so easily, especially if it's someone he knows isn't your friend or isn't a good
-Because what makes them think they have the right to talk to someone like you??
-His biggest tell is that he has way more patience for you than for anyone else
-After a long day of practice, he doesn't have to energy to talk or hang out with anyone and he just waves them off, but if you try to talk to him he's suddenly up for conversation (albeit a little hesitantly)
-Even once he admits to himself that he likes you, he doesn't really have it in himself to confess to you, so you have to be the one to say it first
𖹭.ᐟ Alexis Ness
-Soooo obvious about it
-He's already polite, but it becomes more extreme
-Holds the door open, always asking how you're feeling (are you hungry? Is it too cold? Do you need water? A place to sit?), giving you his jacket before you even comment about it being cold
-Literally the type to put his jacket over a puddle for you, hell he'd carry you over it if you asked
-If you post on social media he likes, favorites, reposts, shares, and whatever else in seconds
-Turns only your notifications on so that he makes sure not to miss anything
-VERY protective of you
-Stands between you and that person that's making you uncomfortable
-Anyone who seems to slightly dislike you is instantly his enemy
-But he doesn't think he has even the slightest chance with you, very much puts you on a pedestal
-And honestly doesn't even care if he can't be with you, he just wants to see you happy and be able to be around you
-Even if you try giving him hints that you likes him he's just like no, they're just THAT nice
-He doesn't confess first, but it's so obvious that he doesn't really need to for you to know
𖹭.ᐟ Shidou Ryusei
-He doesn't really hide it at all
-He brags about you as if he's already dating you
-Texts you selfies when he thinks he's hot (he always thinks he looks hot) and says something like “look at your man” (you're not dating yet)
-He will not hesitate to threaten anyone flirting with you, especially if you look uncomfortable around them
-Get's more touchy
-Respects your boundaries of course, but he will do the absolute most he can
-A hand on your lower back to guide you through a crowd, tilting your head with his hand on your cheek to make you look at him, hooking an arm around your shoulder casually
-He'll easily come right out and say it, but he's so unabashed about it that you honestly thought he might have been joking when he just outright said he was in love with you
── .✦
𖹭.ᐟ Masterlist
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ayexaye · 6 days ago
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˚⋆。°✩₊ "Of course I remember you!" ᡣ𐭩
Bachira Meguru x gn!reader, childhood friends to strangers to friends? again, 800~ words, not proof read
A/n: might do another part to this buutttt I haven't decided yet and I like this as it is
── .✦
You used to be friends with a boy named Meguru Bachira.
He was the kid that always had paint on his clothes or his hands–apparently, that was because his mom was an artist, and that meant he would usually go home and have fun painting random stuff while she worked. He was the kid that seemed to talk more to himself than other kids. He was the kid that everyone called a freak or a weirdo.
But once, early in elementary school, he sat next to you during lunch. He pulled out his lunchbox and pushed it towards you, asking you if you wanted to trade your snack for his because he didn’t like the salty chips his mom gave him. And you were friends from then on.
So you were the one who walked him to the nurse's office after he got into a fight with one of his bullies.
“They’re just mean cause they’re boring and jealous of how fun you are.” You said to him, sitting on the swing next to him.
He rubbed the bandage on his face, wincing when the pressure sent a sharp pain through the healing skin. “You think I’m fun?”
“Obviously!” You replied exasperatedly. “You’re my best friend!”
But that couldn’t last forever. Because years later, your family moved away during your first year of middle school. You promised to keep talking to each other, and you only left after a way-too-long hug on the sidewalk outside your old house, but you still lost contact eventually. And Meguru Bachira became someone you could only think of and smile, instead of the best friend he used to be.
At least, until high school. You were on the couch, working on homework over the weekend. You had the TV on, but it was mostly background noise. You vaguely recalled being into soccer when you were young, but it wasn’t anything special to you anymore. You tuned it out until you heard the announcer, “...that’s number eight, Bachira Meguru, weaving through the U-20’s defenses like it’s nothing! What incredible control of the ball-”
And you froze, eyes darting up to the screen because surely it wasn’t that Bachira Meguru.
But on screen was a boy with the same long brown hair and gold eyes. He was taller, his face more mature, his muscles more defined, but it was still Bachira.
So you looked into this “Blue Lock” thing that he was a part of now. Some kind of training for up-and-coming soccer players in Japan. You figured out when they’d be playing next, and you scrounged up money for a ticket.
You didn’t know why you were doing this. You weren’t friends anymore. You, and likely Bachira too, had moved on. It would have been easier for you to just ignore it, maybe brag to your friends about how you were best friends with one of the new famous Blue Lock players, and move on with your life.
But no, here you were, with VIP tickets that got you into the meet-and-greet after the game. What were you even going to say to him? Would he even recognize you? Maybe he didn’t even want to see you again, or maybe he’d think it was weird that you bought a VIP ticket just to see him again.
You stood in line, shifting your weight from one foot to the other over and over again. Fans all around you buzzed with excitement, holding posters and plushies and keychains. You held the Blue Lock poster you got with the VIP ticket—you didn’t really plan to get it signed, but you needed something to fidget with, so you kept it with you.
There were only a couple more people ahead of you until you’d be up next.
You could leave now. Throw the flyer in the trash and pretend you never even saw him on TV that day to avoid everything—
“Next!”
Well, too late for that now.
You stepped forward, racking your brain for what the right thing to say would be.
Bachira looked up at you, and that practiced, casual smile he held with fans faltered. “... No way.”
You tensed, panic filling your veins. “You remember me?”
He broke into a grin, laughing. “Are you kidding? You were my best friend!”
He stepped out to you. His hands hovered for a moment, not sure if he could touch you or not. Until you opened your arms, and you were suddenly engulfed in a warm, tight hug, as if he thought you might disappear again if he let go of you.
“You’re... way taller.” You mumbled against his shoulder.
“So are you,” he laughed, and then sighed. “I missed you so much.”
── .✦
𖹭.ᐟ Masterlist
Part 2
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ayexaye · 8 days ago
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Kaiser didn’t even look at you when you stepped into his room. In fact, you weren’t sure if he’s looked at you at all since he got back from Japan a few days ago. Ever since he got back, he’s been different. You were understandably excited to know he had returned, and asked if he wanted to go out together, but he only responded to your texts and calls with indifference and a short “maybe”.
You knew he had a fragile ego. You knew that his arrogance and superiority were only masks to hide how much he truly despised everything about himself. But he never really let you—or, really, anyone—close enough to see how fake that mask was and how deep that hatred went.
You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You could only stare at the pitiful man in front of you, sitting at the edge of his bed.
“Don’t look at me like that.” Kaiser muttered, hands clenching against the sheets.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m worth anything.”
You slowly crossed the room towards him, and he seemed to flinch. Kaiser, who once carried himself like a god, now looked up at you like a dog who’s been kicked to the streets. He looked like a wreck, with dark circles and red-rimmed eyes like he hadn’t slept in days (and the only time he did was when he cried until he passed out), unusually tense shoulders, and restless hands.
You hated this. Not him, but you hated how the world treated him, how he treated himself. You knew he could do good things if he gave himself a chance.
“Get out.” He snapped, even though both of you knew it wasn't you he was angry with. “Whatever version of me you think you love is fake. I’m garbage.”
“Whatever happened, you’re still you.” You attempted to get through to him, but Kaiser wouldn’t listen.
“Leave. Before I make you hate me too. You should want better than me. You deserve more than me.”
── .✦
Idk what this is i just have kaiser on the mind
𖹭.ᐟ Masterlist
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ayexaye · 8 days ago
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Not him straight up lying to Isagi LMAO
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I kinda love him unfortunately
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He kind of reminds me of Kaiser in a way? (Or maybe I'm just obsessed and need to find a way to bring my favorite characters into every conversation). Both of them wear a mask of confidence to hide their fragile egos. Isagi said Bunny had a lonely smile, and Kaiser is also a very lonely person because of how he puts himself on a pedestal and thinks of himself as better than everyone. They also just kinda have a similar vibe, especially comparing him to Kaiser from the earlier chapters when he was first introduced.
ALSO LOOK AT ISAGI AHHH hes so cute im gonna cry
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ayexaye · 9 days ago
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I did something similar to this with Ness and liked the format so I'm doing it again with Sae
Itoshi Sae who knows the exact way you like your coffee/tea and makes it for you every morning without asking.
Itoshi Sae who has his phone on do not disturb all the time but lets your number bypass it.
Itoshi Sae who is impatient with most people but let's you take your time.
Itoshi Sae who acts like he doesn't care about selfies but has a whole folder in his phone of pictures of the two of you.
Itoshi Sae who offers you his umbrella and walks in the rain himself.
Itoshi Sae who presses a kiss to your forehead every night when he thinks you're asleep and thinks you don't know.
Itoshi Sae who rarely initiates affection, but never pulls away when you do.
Itoshi Sae who doesn't use tik tok or instagram but still watches every video you send him.
Itoshi Sae who texts you "Did you eat?", "Let me know when you're home", "Don't stay up too late" instead of "I miss you" when he's away for a game.
Itoshi Sae who buys you matching rings on your first anniversary.
Itoshi Sae who thinks about marrying you one day more than he'd ever like to admit.
𖹭.ᐟ Masterlist
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ayexaye · 9 days ago
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How do fandoms work so fast it's barely been one day and I've already seen so much fanart of bunny
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ayexaye · 12 days ago
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Just got caught up on blue lock again and what do you mean Reo BLOCKED HIM
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I know it's for the best for both of them but oh my god it hurts to see
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ayexaye · 17 days ago
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Hiii ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ I really enjoy your fics!
I know you usually try and keep the reader gender neutral but I was wondering if you could do a gender-fluid reader like one day their characters boyfriend and the other they are their girlfriend with Alex, sae, and characters of your choice.
I was looking in your rules and couldn’t find anything against it if this request makes you uncomfortable instead could you do characters of your choice with reader getting their wisdom teeth removed!
A/n: thank you!! I mostly keep the reader gender neutral for things where the readers gender wouldn't really impact anything, just so that anyone can read it, but requests like this where the gender (or genders in this case) is the focus is fine! Included shidou in this too cause we stan genderfluid shidou here
Also side note but Shidou gives me such gender envy I need to look like him so bad
Includes: Alexis Ness, Sae Itoshi, Shidou Ryusei
Tw: Mention of dysphoria
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𖹭.ᐟ Alexis Ness
-He thinks it's literally the coolest thing ever
-Like he gets to date both genders?
-He's SO good at hyping you up no matter how you're presenting
-Randomly comes home with clothes for you like "I saw it and thought of you!" (He spent 45 minutes picking out the right earrings that would match your favorite coat)
-Loves shopping with/for you because he can get you both masculine and feminine things
-And he gives you the best advice on clothes
-Really good at switching around pronouns and pet names to match whichever you prefer at the time
-He gets offended for you if people use the wrong pronouns for you
-He notices so quickly if you're feeling dysphoric and is so quick to comfort you
-His compliments always flow so easily too it doesnt feel like hes saying it just to validate you he really means every single word
-If he messes up and misgenders you he feels like the worst human being on earth and he'll give you a whole list of gender affirming compliments to make up for it (its scary how quickly he comes up with them)
𖹭.ᐟ Sae Itoshi
-He is so supportive and in tune with what you need
-Might not be as "loud" as Ness with his support but he's good at subtly affirming your gender—"You got a new skirt. It suits you."
-If you use some kind of gender affirming tools like a binder he'll check in on you and make sure its comfortable and that you haven't been wearing it too long
-Most of the time he just calls you by your name but every now and then he'll switch between "pretty girl" "handsome" and "my love"
-if youre feeling dysphoric he's good at grounding you and he'll just ask what you need from him
-Your clothes don't feel right? He'll go to the store right now to find something that works. Your voice? He'll order your food for you. Anything to help you feel more comfortable
𖹭.ᐟ Shidou Ryusei
-I had to do Shidou cause I highkey headcanon him as being genderfluid already
-Like hes pretty masc presenting but I think he'd like presenting and being referred to as more femme a lot
-He just thinks gender is a fun thing to mess around with and show off
-You come out to him and he's just like "no way me too bro"
-100% a hype man like Ness but more out of pocket with it
-He's so blunt with any validation if you feel dysphoric too like "You look like a man/woman and you look sexy as hell as one"
-He'll threaten to throw hands if someone misgenders you even if its an accident (you'll have to drag him away)
-He's already good at makeup (I mean look at that eyeliner) so if you need help he's got you
𖹭.ᐟ Masterlist
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ayexaye · 20 days ago
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Hi! Can I request itoshi brothers (seperate) with a S/O who needs to go to the dentist because of a cavity but is really scared of going there because...you know needles, drilling and stuff (I HAVE TO GO TO DENTIST IN FEW HOURS FOR CAVITY AND AM SCARED AF 😭)
A/n: thank you for the request! Hopefully your appointment went well- and sorry for not getting this out sooner! I ended up being way busier than expected BUT now that its summer I should have way more time for this blog!
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𖹭.ᐟ Sae Itoshi
-At first when you tell him that you're anxious he doesn't really get it but he tries his best
-He's not very good at comforting words, maybe an occasional "it'll be okay" when he can tell youre getting particularly anxious about it
-Not usually one for physical comfort either but when you need it, he'll hold your hand or put an arm around you while you're in the waiting room
-He'll tell you about dumb things Rin did as a child to distract you
You sat in the waiting room, bouncing your knee up and down, nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of your jacket. Sae sat next to you, glancing to you every so often.
"You're nervous," he said, more as an observation than a question, but you nodded anyway.
He was used to dealing with Rin at the dentist when they were younger. But that was years ago, and this time it wasn't his little brother he needed to comfort.
For a moment you think that's all, but then you feel his hand cover yours, linking your fingers together. "It's going to be fine."
He wasn't the best at comforting words, but you had been around him long enough to know what what he meant even when he didn't say very much. He might not have the words, but he was always there for you.
𖹭.ᐟ Rin Itoshi
-He hated the dentist as a kid and that hatred did not really go away when he got older
-Horror movies are fine but dentists??
-But hes kind of embarrassed to admit it
-Quietly googles everything about how they treat it so he can try to explain it in a less scary way
-Once you're able to eat, he'll get you your favorite food and drink
"Here. Drink it slowly." Rin said as he handed you your drink. He gave a small thank you to the cashier before you both left.
"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, sipping on his own drink.
"Still a little sore, but better," you muttered.
Rin gave you a small nod. The whole day of the appointment Rin was quieter than normal, especially in the waiting room, hands clenched in his lap as he constantly scanned the office, and he wasn't even the one there for an appointment.
Honestly, just being there made him anxious. The sterile smell, the weird machinery, the sound of the drill—it all made him think about the horrible times when he had to go to the dentist. But you were already anxious enough yourself, so he kept it together for your sake.
You had a feeling you knew what was going on, but decided not to bring it up. Instead, you leaned into him as you walked, letting the silence speak for you.
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ayexaye · 30 days ago
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Moots??
Of course!!
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ayexaye · 1 month ago
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⁺˚⋆。°✩₊ Cooking with the Blue Lock boys ᡣ𐭩
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Includes: Bachira Meguru, Chigiri Hyoma, Rin Itoshi
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𖹭.ᐟ Bachira Meguru
-He can be helpful, if he really wants to be
-Most of the time he just hangs out in the kitchen with you without doing any actual work
-If he's not eating the food, he's playing with it
“Bachira Meguru!” You yelled as you swatted the aforementioned boy's hand away from the pile of sliced peppers on the cutting board next to you.
“What’s wrong?” Bachira said innocently, moving to lean back against the counter nearby. Once your hand was occupied with a small bowl filled with onions to saute, Bachira managed to not-so-sneakily grab another slice of a carrot.
You think it was the 10th time he’d done so, but you stopped keeping count after 5.
“Bachira, you know exactly what’s wrong...” You replied. “If you want dinner later, I kinda need these ingredients.”
“But I’m bored.” He pouted as he walked over to you. He draped himself over you, arms wrapping around your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder, looking down at the stove you were working at.
“Maybe you should distract yourself by cutting up the chives.” You said despite leaning into him.
He giggled. “I think I prefer being right here.”
𖹭.ᐟ Chigiri Hyoma
-His sister forced him to learn how to cook, so he’s quite good at it
-He doesn’t hesitate to correct you on anything you might be doing wrong
-He hates having the kitchen a mess so he keeps everything as neat as possible as he cooks and cleans up right after
“You’re holding it wrong.”
You heard the warm but somewhat judgemental voice from behind you as you were about to begin cutting the carrots. You turned around to see Chigiri leaning against the fridge, his arms crossed and his loose hair framing his face.
“If it’s so wrong, why don’t you get over here and help me?” You asked, tilting your head with a grin.
He chuckled, pushing himself off of the fridge. He tied up his hair before carefully taking the knife. He explained what to do, and annoyingly demonstrated it perfectly, each coin cut the same size.
“Show off..” You muttered.
He gave you a sly smile as he set the knife down. “You’re the one that asked for help.”
“You’re lucky you’re pretty.” You said as you stepped closer to him.
“I know.” He chuckled, giving you a quick kiss before both of you had to get back to cooking.
𖹭.ᐟ Rin Itoshi
-Also very good at cooking, usually he’s the one to cook
-He follows recipes to the letter
-He doesn’t really let you help, but he says he “doesn’t mind you being being around” (he always hopes you join him in the kitchen)
“If you didn’t want to wait, we could have just ordered something.” Rin said as he dried off his hands.
“I like watching you cook though.” You lifted yourself up to sit on the counter that Rin wasn't using, legs swinging back and forth idly. He gave you a look, but ultimately decided not to chastise you for it.
He always moved so swiftly in the kitchen, so focused. When he finished making the sauce, he took a small spoonful of it to give it a cautious taste. He hesitantly offered it to you. “Tell me if it tastes off.”
You stared at him for a second, surprised at the offer, before taking the spoon to taste it—rich and warm that left a lingering sweetness in your mouth.
“It's a bit sweet, but good.” You answered honestly.
“I like it that way.” He said, avoiding your gaze.
You laughed. “Of course you would.”
He didn’t respond with words, but the way the corner of his mouth twitched up into an almost smile told you enough as he turned his attention back to the stove.
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𖹭.ᐟ Masterlist
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ayexaye · 1 month ago
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⁺˚⋆。°✩₊ Request Rules ᡣ𐭩
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Fandoms .ᐟ.ᐟ
Currently writing for only Blue Lock (more fandoms will be added soon...)
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I WILL NOT write...
Smut (suggestive things are fine)
Pregnancy
Incest
I WILL write...
Gender neutral, female, or male reader (I try to keep most things gender neutral if possible though)
Canon/reader, canon/canon
Poly
Romantic or platonic
Genderbent characters
Angst
Fluff
Anything else is free rein, if something else does come up in a request that I don't feel comfortable writing I will just make a small announcement that I'll be adding that topic to the above will-not-write list.
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ayexaye · 1 month ago
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About me .ᐟ.ᐟ
Valen/Vee, 18, they/them, into anime, video games, baking, reading, writing, musicals... don't be afraid to send me an ask/dm! I'm always scared to reach out to people first but I love talking to people!
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Fandoms .ᐟ.ᐟ
Blue Lock — Honkai Star Rail — Link Click — Alien Stage — Cookie Run Kingdom
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Blue Lock Masterlist — Rules (please read before requesting) — Ao3
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