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Enforced by sniper

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I have no idea who Ruby i or what bfdi is, but darn it if that isn’t relatable.

Ruby: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

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EXACTLY!!!

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Thank you, I need that.

I hope you did well on yours!

I know that feeling, it’s such a strange feeling a mix of relief and a little bit emptiness. Half the time I don’t know what to do with myself, right after finals week.

REBLOG IF THIS RELATES TO YOU:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

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It’s near the end of the semester for me

REBLOG IF THIS RELATES TO YOU:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

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(When I read this it came to mind.)

Random Senator: “Alright people form a line! You only get to stab Caesar once so make it count. Remember we’re only stabbing Caesar, ONLY Caesar.”

*Another Senator tries to kill his political enemy*

Random Senator: “Hey! No stop! What did I just say!?”

Disgruntled Senators: *Grumbling about how they we’re going to stab Caesar there*

Random Senator: “Look it’s a first come first served basis, I can’t help it if someone already stabbed Caesar there. Just find another spot…please.”

If 60 people are crowding around one guy, they're not all going to be able to reach him at once. I'm sick of all this slander against senators who were there, ready and willing to stab, but just couldn't push through the crowd to get their knife in before caesar was already dead. They tried their best and did more to kill caesar than you ever did.

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i hope youre not stabbing

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🤣

On Bruce's birthday, Jason gifts him a self-made intellectual game in a "resolve this case" style that contains a secret prize. And Bruce? Bruce loves it. He always likes resolving mysteries (you have no idea how many times he reread Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christi) and it is finally so refreshing to work on something... fun and not threatening others' lives! And there will be another prize as a reward? That's great! Brilliant, even.

The problem? Bruce absolutely overthinks the whole thing and instead of finding an obvious answer, he starts plotting insane theories and spiralling in the rabbit hole.

Jason, slightly anxious but hopeful: So, had you resolved it? Did you find what was the victim's last words? Bruce, running on 55 cups of coffee, with a mischievous glint in his eyes: Oh, Jaylad, don't even start. I am thinking between the theory regarding Russian spies and involvement of Epstein. Jason, double-checking his father's state, with smile switching on growl: What.

Bruce is so entertained and sucked into the drama of the fake case that he doesn't even realise that Jason is awfully close to throwing the whole tantrum. Because he didn't just put all his heart into this stupid surprise answer for Bruce to went in a complete opposite direction???

Dick, amused: He is so distracted that he refused going patrolling today and sent us. I can't. This is hilarious. Jason, kicking rocks in frustration: I might as well kill Joker while he is at it. He probably won't even notice. Damian: So, Todd, what is the secret surprise that you are so... hysterical? Jason: Nothing! It is nothing! I don't care! Tim, who looked at the case once and figured the answer out instantly: Yeah, buddy, that's rough.

Jason, a one week after, sitting on the tea ceremony with Alfred: Let me guess, old man is still hadn't figured out the mystery behind the case? Alfred: I am afraid he went... slightly aboard with the capacity of his imagination, master Jason. Now, if you allow me to ask... What was the surprise hidden in the victim's last words? Jason, sniffling: It was supposed to be "I love you, Dad. Can I return home?" Alfred: Alfred: You want to say that I could have my grandson back home a week ago, and we could already arrange and decorate you a new room, and have you over on every dinner, if your father wasn't this... complicated? Jason: Uh, I guess? Jason: Also, why did you just call him my father and not master Bruce... Alfred, standing up to take a riffle: Right now he is not my master. Just your father. Jason: Uh, Alfie????

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my contribution to post-vengeance saga Poseidon and Ody shenanigans

(like five months after he gets home)

Fisherman: my king, our nets have been coming up empty…there isn’t as many fish as there used to be, and I fear we may lose our jobs and the economy will suffer-

Odysseus, getting up from his throne: hold my wine

Odysseus: (marches down to the beach)

Odysseus: so what’s this I hear about our empty nets? Are the fish not fuckin’ like they used to?

Ocean: (nervously washes up half a dozen fish at his feet)

Odysseus: …

Ocean: …

Odysseus: (nods)

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I’d like to believe that this is how the batfam finds out anything about Dick.

ic: @batfam-stuff-posts-0

based on this post :))

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I feel like this could also work for Red Hood.

First attempt at a gotham meme

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