confessions-of-a-lost-existence

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

got rid of basically all personal social media because i can't take watching everyone live their happily ever after while i'm stuck alone dealing with trying not to off myself. made a meme page to put my cynical humor somewhere. i'd love it if I could at least make someone laugh about this misery.

@why.are.we.laughing on ig if you wanna check it out

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

people seem to consider my love a deadly disease.. as soon as they've gained my trust they can't get away fast enough.. someone please teach me how to make that stop

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

I’m the kind of broken they don’t put on posters.

Therapy is a joke, meds are a bandaid on a bullet wound,

and the truth is, some damage runs too deep to fix.

They say there’s hope,

but hope feels like a crueler lie every time I reach for it

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

got rid of basically all personal social media because i can't take watching everyone live their happily ever after while i'm stuck alone dealing with trying not to off myself. made a meme page to put my cynical humor somewhere. i'd love it if I could at least make someone laugh about this misery.

@why.are.we.laughing on ig if you wanna check it out

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

No no no no no, you don't understand. I can't keep going on like this. It's draining me and I can't take it anymore. No more, please.

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

i broke her cod scores while she broke my heart

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

you gave me butterflies and made me feel warm. then you lit those butterflies on fire so now i'm just burning inside.

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

“do you want to talk about it?”

no, i want to kill myself because of it.

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

(Source: @mysillycomics! I got this off Instagram so I didn’t know it cropped the artist credit out!)

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

after she spent over a year loving me, getting to know me and basically making me the center of her universe, she's saying she can't be with me but needs everything between us to stay the same. sorry i'm confused????

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

atp either fuck me or kill me or i don't have time for you

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

i find the concept of eating while being severely mentally ill really unfair. i have to put fuel into my body while i wish this body would just shut down. and on top of that i'm too mentally ill to keep my body from rejecting the food i put into it. it's a lose lose situation.

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

In therapy I said

I need to heal myself

I need to make it on my own

can't rely on other people

because people come and go

and every one I've allowed close

has brought more pain than I could hold

I need to heal myself to cope

make myself my home

In therapy they said

I cannot be alone

my mind is my worst enemy

it wants me dead and cold

I need someone to love me

enough to keep me close

enough to keep me steady

when all balance is lost

Someone to protect me

and see behind the fog

Someone to hold me still

when chaos turns me wild and cold

to light a fire in me

against the blizzard in my core

and that I need to let them

no matter at what cost

and that it's my decision

wether I want to fight or face the loss

I don't want to be reliant

a liability at best

Can't trust in a set of eyes

when I've seen how quickly they can turn

when I know how beautiful desire

is nothing more than liquid fire

and felt how much it hurts

when that fire starts to burn

so I push away the warmth

accustomed to the cold

protecting my body

building muscle, staying fed

working to grow tired

so maybe I can silence the screaming in my head

and finally get some rest

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

one pill for anxiety

one pill for the pain

one pill for society

one pill to play the game

one pill to make me fall asleep

no pill for real change

[confessions-of-a-lost-existence]

You say you wanna save me

but I wanna fight

would walk a thousand miles to hold you

for one of those nights

how I wish you could see what I see

have you take a look through my eyes

darling just take my hand

it could be so easy

darling it's alright

I already know how to love

it's okay if you teach me

how to cry