cryingoverrandomstuff

[cryingoverrandomstuff]

What if i just started using this blog as the “random writing” section of my notes app?

My brain yearns for the shitty gay short stories teens would write on tiktok and caption “mlm poetry”

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Sometimes i go awhile without reading fanfic other than like banana fish stuff especially the really poetic Shorter stuff. And then iʻll get into a more popular fandom ex. The outsiders/fuck i canʻt think of any other fandoms/haikyuu and iʻll look for oneshots and iʻm so bewildered when i get the more surface level “they bang and its hot.”

and its silly cause then iʻm like “but…but what about my achingly heartbreaking metaphors???” Like bro you looked up oneshots for an mlm pairing and clicked on something smvtty what are you talking about????

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Inside of me there are two wolves, one that wants to watch things like heathers or banana fish or even the outsiders; the other wants to watch the secret lives of mormon wives

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Anyone remember when beetlejuice beetlejuice came out and bj was still thirsting for Lydia and all the straight girls (atleast mostly) decided it was

“sweet”

and started posting videos all like

“everyome thought beetlejuice would be going after her daughter…but he still only wanted Lydia 😍😍😍😍”

like that situation was okay???????????????????????

[cryingoverrandomstuff]

New strategy for getting my parents to correctly gender me:

Complain to them about other peoples behavior that makes me feel bad about my gender and myself 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[cryingoverrandomstuff]

If i ever write a cis man it will be bc all my headcannons of myself as a cis man needed an outlet

Thats it thats the post

[cryingoverrandomstuff]

As mentioned previously, I had one 3% beer earlier and opened up my feelings about Romeo & Juliet like they were a sleeping bag that I might crawl inside and now I’ve been IN MY FEELINGS about Prince Escalus, Benvolio & Mercutio.

And now all I want is a version of Romeo and Juliet where the whole first exchange do act 3 scene 1 is delivered by a Mercutio who is holding Benvolio by the face and pressing his forehead to his.

Because SERIOUSLY the undercurrent of that exchange is so tender and furious it makes me ILL.

It’s about ‘please don’t brawl out here for nothing, I’m calling you good I’m using ‘thee’ my metre is so measured please listen please listen’ meeting ‘I know you, you’re trying to be good but you can’t be because none of us can you’re like me you’ve got mad blood and let me make you laugh because maybe that’s all we’ve got’ and then they’re joking about death and oh it’s simple, isn’t it? The fee simple of your life is an hour and a half?

Fucking FROTHING

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The fucking Vat7k fandom is so fucking funny (i’m in the fandom) cause like if you wanna talk about it to someone who’s not in this fandom its just like:

Fandom member (FM): “Its basically about varian from rapunzel’s tangled adventure but as an adult and he gets a boyfriend and two other best friends and they have all these really cool twists and turns!”

Non-Fan: oh cool! I had no idea Disney made a show with a main queer romance like that! I’ll should watch it!

FM: what show?

Non-Fan: Varian and the 7 Kingdoms what else?

FM: oh thats not like…a show…

Non-fan: what?

FM: no it didn’t ever air or anything it got shot down actually

Non-Fan (eye twitching): THEN HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU IN THAT FANDOM WHAT?!!-

Because its got less canon content then the fucking marauders. And its hilariously fucking funny to me.

[cryingoverrandomstuff]

Okay i need advice on something..,.so you know how danny motta and mortius had that like “messy public breakup” over his epic reactions to “my goodbye?”

I’m an artist okay. And im sensitive but i dont feel like this is me being sensitive. Because i’ve been thinking for weeks about his video where he reacted to specifically mircsy’s animatic. And there’s nothing wrong with preferring an animatic okay? Or even verbalizing a favorite between to things, or talking about differences that might make you prefer one over the other, or even comparing them a little bit.

But am i the only one that thinks it got a bit cruel? He didn’t mean it that way of course but he was just kinda digging into it. Especially because his reaction of god games just came out where he reacted to both Gigi and Neil’s animatic at the same time, and he compared them and stuff but it never felt like he was just tearing into either of them.

With the my goodbye video it felt like he just kinda kept digging into the wolfythewitch animatic over and over which (if it was me) would fuck me up a little. What i mean is that it kinda just got into “this is so so much better and great compared to the other one i watched” which is insensitive. And if i just felt like this in the moment i would have moved on with my life; and i don’t think he meant it that way at all like it doesn’t seem malicious. But i felt bad because if i saw someone picking my art apart like that while enjoying someone else’s rendition i would feel pretty terrible.

So mostly what im trying to say is should i like comment on that video and explain this? I dont know its just frustrating because i cant stop imagining them watching that video. And i dont want to hate on him i really like Danny’s videos. But i just dont want him to do it again, because its not like one of the shows thats on Netflix or produced by a company or even just got picked up and has funding. The animatics are all people spending hours and hours of time and energy just because they love epic, they arent making money off it.

Anyway what should i do?

[cryingoverrandomstuff]

Dude i read icebreaker by A.L. Graziadei and wrote non self insert fanfiction for the first time so it might be shit, feel free to leave advice, but like be nice alright?

Pet Names

(An Icebreaker fic about Mickey James III and his boyfriend Jaysen “Cauler” Caulfeild)

Words: 856

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Warnings: none this is a fluff fic where they kiss and I push my internal monologue onto Mickey James III, swearing, first person POV

Summary: During a rare visit from Jaycen (fuck his name is spelt annoying) Mickey is falling asleep on his chest and Jaycen unintentionally calls him “baby.” Mickey freaks out about it. (There is making out and hopefully canon typical banter)

Authors notes: like i said this is my first ever published fic, its short as fuck, and i don’t know if its in character at all, but i tried, i’m gonna post this on ao3 once i get an invite so fingers crossed that happens soon.

Its in first person perspective because that’s how the book was written.

And the only reason this isn’t smut is because I chickened out…oops i don’t really care.

Anyway please enjoy and feel free to leave WRITING advice!

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I pull on the first hoodie I find and eagerly crawl up onto my shitty apartment’s double bed. Flopping onto Cauler’s chest in a way that doesn’t hurt him, but he smacks my shoulder for it anyway. I grunt in protest. Shifting and writhing until I'm comfortable. I bury my face into his chest, he’s always so warm. 

After a few minutes, sleep is settling over me in a rolling haze muffling every sense except the feeling of the hand Cauler snuck into my hair carding through loose curls. I realize I’m falling asleep when I try to open my eyes and find I can't…

“Baby?” 

Okay! I’m awake…

…and I think my brain just melted. 

The word was a purr on his tongue in that truthfully cruelly attractive way that I don’t think I’ll ever get over. Especially not now. 

Cauler calls me plenty of things other than my name of course but those aren't pet names, he calls me stuff like “Terzo,” or “little shit,”  and when I’m being an asshole he occasionally calls me “your grace.” And sometimes he calls me Mickey, but that's kind of limited to like…sex or when I'm having a breakdown or whatever tender shit. But “baby?“ I've never heard baby it—

 Oh shit, he wanted my attention. 

“Huh?” 

Cauler laughs at me lazily in the way that makes my cheeks warm; an honestly welcome addition to  Cauler’s quietest playlist as it screams into my bedroom’s cool night air. To be honest I’ve missed his music, I’ve missed all of him. 

“You fallin’ asleep on me, Terzo?” He hums, the nickname only working to make me remember what he’d said before I got lost in thought, *” baby”* and when I shift my head to look at him, it looks like he’s just as hung up on the pet name as I am. I ignore his words and lift my head to look at him. 

“What did you call me?” Because I’m probably hallucinating, I know I read the bottle but do antidepressants do that? 

He lifts an eyebrow cocky demeanor coming back, “What? Terzo?” 

“Don’t play coy, the other thing,” I mutter back unamused. 

“Oh, baby,” he stretches out the words in a way that makes the two syllables roll across his tongue over his piercings. He’s about to say something else but something in me jolts to kiss him muffling his reply “Mhf.” 

I regain control of my actions and pull back slowly, meeting his eyes with the electric intensity that usually comes with much more sexual situations… I guess. 

“Oh did you like that?” He badgers. 

“Shut up” I slump back into him, suddenly embarrassed. He cups my jaw and tilts my head so he can examine my face, I lean into it. 

“For someone who claims to have a ‘one emotion per week limit’ you sure are moody,” Cauler says as he kisses my head.  I grumble in response because he knows it makes me feel stupidly fluffy. “Baby fits you, though. You’re all small and whiny” he teases. 

“It does not- I am not!” 

“Yes it does and you like it too,” he pauses, “don’t you, baby?” 

Stupid taunting gorgeous asshole. In retaliation, and not at all because it was hot as fuck; I kiss him again and bite his lip, avoiding his piercing with practiced ease.

 He pulls me back by my hair. “You little shit” 

He pressed his lips against mine again taking advantage of the way his vocal cords growling when he spoke, turns me to mush.

 I give into the kiss pressing back with a slow eagerness as he licks into my mouth, breathing through our noses in increasingly labored puffs.

 Shit, I can't even remember what bothered me in the first place. 

Because his hands moved from my hair to my hips, he’s flipping me over disconnecting our lips with a grin.

 My back hits the mattress as the music hits its peak and his mouth is on mine again hot and heavy, I slide my hands up and down his shoulders. 

“Hm Baby…” I barely notice him pulling away until he brushes the hair off my forehead, he’s breathily chuckling and I manage a dazed, confused glare. “There’s nothing wrong with liking being called ‘baby’ Terzo,” I roll my eyes indignantly but the way he says it so soft and loving sends sparks up the back of my neck; “do you want me to call you that?” 

His voice is so tender it breaks down my disgruntled act and I concede nodding while making embarrassingly submissive eye contact. 

“Yeah, but, just- just when we’re alone,” I croak. The thought of being called that in public is mortifying.

 He pecks my lips, too frustratingly chaste for our previous engagements. 

“Okay, baby.” he hums, settling back down. 

So he got me all riled up for nothing huh? To prove a point. Damn him. 

But he is pulling me back into him. 

Laying on our sides now. His hand is back in my hair and my eyes are closed again. I love him, everything is so much better when he’s here. 

[cryingoverrandomstuff]

WHATTTT?!?! IM NOT CRYING ITS JUST RAINING!

don’t mind me. just thinking about the fact that mickey canonically gets a tattoo of a crown for the royals. because they gave him hope for the first time in a long time. and allowed him to find joy in his future finally. and maybe he wants their impact permanently etched into his skin to look at for the rest of his career as a reminder. nope don’t mind me. totally normal about this.

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So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

[cryingoverrandomstuff]

I have been working on a digital Aphrodite painting for a week and she’s not even close to fucking done, also how do i get overlay affects on fucking procreate? Not to mention the animation thats supposed to go along with it! Rrrrrrrrrrr! Fuck!

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Its so crazy to me how some people view using fanfic as a passtime (not excessively), its like they think reading it at all is some sort of bad habit, like eating to much processed sugars, or having a having a caffeine addiction, Its weird man.

Like for instance, recently someone told me that they were “trying to stop reading fanfiction” because i was gonna show him ao3 (he uses wattpad?! Specifically in a way that fanfic was a negative indulgence not a hindrance or something) and i’m just like, “why???” Its basically just supporting someone who wants to write a story about something they enjoy why would you need to cleanse yourself from that???

And another time i made a joke to one of my classmates who’s really big on anime that she might read fanfic and she was disgusted and horrified. She made an entire court case for herself based on one lousy joke. And she’s pretty open about using character.ai i dont see how thats morally better than fanfic. Also who gives a fuck.

Also writing smutt doesn’t make you a creep, why has that become the implication, it’s not that way for public authors. Reading smyt doesn’t make you a creep either it’s just another form of entertainment. Idk i’m kinda weird but my bestfriend could admit to me that they write/read freaky shit on ao3 and i wouldn’t give a fuck. Who cares?

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I’m left handed and right handed people make my anxiety kick in when i think about them? I don’t know why

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my favorite hc is that penelope was told by the ladies in waiting to go and stay in her room and not to come out for anyone

and she hears screams and whatnot and is like oh fuck now theyve done it, the suitors are gonna destroy the place

only to hear the screams lessen in volume and being like ? are they killing each other?

but then she hears a scream clear as day "THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE" and she's like🧍‍♀️no fuckin shot my husband is down there on a murder spree

and she immediately starts pacing back and forth like "LADIES HELP ME PREPARE I NEED TO LOOK DIVINE" and it's a full makeover sequence

and they're posing her and being like "hold on, tilt your chin up a little bit, turn to the side like 12 degrees- BOOM my lady you are serving such cunt"

and then they hear odysseus' loud ass steps going up the stairs and all the ladies scatter while penelope tries to look nonchalant like "AHEM....😳 is it you? have my prayers been answered?"

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(Still working on the Epic: The musical edit but this isn’t about that)

When i was an eigtjh grade i wrote a self insert mha fanfic that had pretty good bones, and i’m thinking of revamping it, maybe just turning it into a Rody Soul fic? But the thing is, it was a collaboration with a friend about our two self insert’s who were bestie’s, but we aren’t friends anymore…like not even close, and i feel like it would be weird to just steal it instead of like asking, because i would want to post it. But i don’t want to contact them and reopen the lines of communication, because i’m just not ready for that.