forfaehou

[forfaehou]

It was hard for me to read the headcanon about Nanami, who spoils his girlfriend rotten, to the point of insanity. In that HC the girl is used to it and takes it for granted.

People gather around them on their own. They are charismatic, capable of conquering almost everyone.

And it hurts me that something like this will never happen to me. I don’t have this “easyness ”, and if I leave the company of people, no one will notice my departure. No one cares what thoughts are in my head and what feelings are raging inside.

I am consumed by envy from the inside, because I have never experienced unconditional love, admiration and sympathy for my true self in my life. I am not interesting to anyone, I was neither my mother’s nor my father’s princess.

I grew up with constant “I understand”, “it’s okay”, “I’ll wait”.

I thought for a long time why this is happening and I cannot change it no matter how hard I try. And I came to the conclusion that such things are felt at the level of the unconscious. Little things, details, habits, reflexes that a person is not able to change give me away. And such things cause even more unpleasantly cloying pity.

For everyone, I am "later, maybe, we'll see, someday." But I am not an elegant, neat and delicious dessert that you wait for all day, I am a tasteless candy that was left on a plate: it is a pity to throw it away, but you don't want to eat it either.

I hope someday people like me won't think about it.

[forfaehou]

Yuu in the prologue: *meeting a monster and getting the psychological trauma*

<After some time at the camp, another meeting with a monster>

Yuu: Hello again, today I came with my friends.

Monster: R.I.P.

Second years and twice a third year: That was a good warm-up

Yuu: Now I feel so refreshed.

[forfaehou]

Ruggie: So many magic stones! *discreetly stuffs as many stones as possible into all pockets he has*

All: We need stones to fight the monster.

Raggie: I don't have any-

Leona: Raise your hands and jump.

Ruggie-piñata-filled-with-magic-stones-Bucci: *whispering* bitch.

[forfaehou]

Vargas Camp and Floyd:

Floyd: *first time camping on land*

Camp: *survival, kidnappings, fighting monsters*

Floyd: Wow, that was fun, we should go again.

Yuu: Wait, let's discuss this.

[forfaehou]

Riddle, bursting into Hartsubble's living room: Hide me from Floyd *hides in the closet*

Trey, Cater: Okay

Floyd a few seconds later: Where's the goldfish?

Cater: Santa took his elf.

[forfaehou]

May

Well, this month was harsh on me (especially my mentality), but I got them in the result 🤌🏻

I'm gonna write so much about them 👀

[forfaehou]

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

[forfaehou]

Ouch

Damn, I think I know why I'm single. I changed this ability for higher chances in gacha 👀

Floyd from the free Tenfold Keyes. For someone who had to spend all resources to get even one SSR card it's a miracle. I need this lunch for today's interview 🙂‍↕️

[forfaehou]

I DID IT!! FROM THE FIRST ATTEMPT! YAAAAAYYYY

I had more problems during Sebek's searching for Silver (I restarted 5 or 6 times)

[forfaehou]

I got Silver from Free Tenfold Summon! 🥳🤌🏻

I spent all my luck for this year I guess tho 🥲