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Sum

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TW: Talk about Suicide

I remember when I was reading through all variations of Damian's tag (Damian Wayne, Damian al-Ghul, Damian al-Ghul Wayne) and came across a post that said Damian should unalive himself.

It sounds genuinely bad and I checked if this is some sort of a hate post, to which the op followed up by saying something along the lines of:

"Yeah I know this sounds bad but this isn't a hate post. Damian was condemned to live with these two big legacies and he was doomed to follow at least one footstep of his predecessors one way or another. He has no autonomy over his own self and he is hated for that. He is despised and loathed for being the product of a cause he has no say in, treated more like an animal than he is a wounded boy. I think his ultimatum, his only way of freeing himself, to be happy is if he dies by how own hands"

And I was like. Wow. Okay.

Because, in a way, I kinda see it. Of course I want my boy to be happy but I sometimes genuinely think the only way for Damian to ever reach prosperity and happiness in his life is by cutting off both sides of his family.

This post might sound as if it was made in bad faith, and I understand if you disagree— but look at the recent development of Batman and Robin. Namely, how Bruce reacts to Damian forging his own path by being a volunteer at a hospital and considering an internship program.

He was quick to assume that Dr. Bashar (the man who has faith in Damian without knowing him truly) was associated with the League because he gave Damian a chance to do something else that isn't directly tied to either of his parents. He was quick to assume the worst because a man genuinely seems attracted to the potential Damian held. I understand that he was scared at the prospect of losing his son since being Robin seems like the only way Damian was tied to him, but how many times is Damian going to lose an opportunity in life if every choice and decision were dictated from Bruce's paranoia?

Not to mention, Damian's relationship with his family. I think other people have pointed this out before, and I may have mentioned it once or twice, but contrary to popular beliefs— Damian doesn't have a good relationship with his siblings. Cass, Jason and Tim tolerate him at best, actively fighting at worst. Dick is his own category, but let's not forget that the reason why Dick initially took Damian in wasn't because of his love for the kid, but because Damian is the last piece of Bruce that was left when the man was presumed dead. You could argue that both Stephanie and Duke are the only ones who get along with Damian with no strings attached, but with DC not giving a shit much with Duke and Stephanie (last I check) still dead, I don't see him getting out often.

It's a... Very suffocating way to live.

Your family, who you're supposed to trust, talk shit about your other family within earshot— sometimes they talk shit about you at your face— and expect you to agree wholeheartedly. And if you don't, you're just a brainwashed brat prone to violence.

And, yeah, Damian hasn't exactly been a kid sent from above, but he also experienced half a century in hell. Which, to be fair, we should talk about more.

So, yeah. If Damian didn't leave his family, I would want him dead.

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If you ask me, this above all else is the reason Bruce treated Stephanie the way he did. Stephanie's unassuming earnestness has a way of disarming people. She tends to worm her way into their hearts and coax them into opening up no matter how hard they resist just like she did with Cass and Damian. It's practically her superpower. Bruce spends a little time with her and finds himself trusting her with parts of himself he's never trusted anyone with before, he realizes she's got him lowering emotional walls he puts a lot of care into building between him and everyone around him and that, more than anything else, scares the shit out of him.

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rustic orange

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golden age Batman didn't give a single shit

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One thing that always bothered me as a kid, and still bothers me, is it honestly makes so little sense Steph didn't rank super high on the scale of Martial Artists after receiving the Robin training, if it's so amazing. Considering what she could do while untrained, the experience she had, it's baffling that no one ever considered her a prodigy, or that she wasn't at least notably more skilled than say, Tim was, when she started out as Robin.

Like, Steph was in the field and knocking out grown men twice her size with zero training. It was not even mentioned that she took martial arts classes or anything to explain how she can do this, just gymnastics and softball. And both were high school gymnastics, high school softball, not fancy expensive classes??? Even Babs, in Batgirl Y1 had the advantage of having taken martial arts classes and presumably a lot more since her goal was to be in the FBI.

Meanwhile Steph like. She's jumping off rooftops and surfing trains and taking down bad guys with nothing. Tim's gone through extensive Batman training and trained with Lady Shiva and all this stuff, and obviously she's not as good as him and needs him to watch her back at times, but she can keep up with him, and even saves him or get the jump on him quite a few times, and that's incredible when you think about it. Tim gave her gadgets and instructions in the field, but it's never shown that he taught her any moves.

There's even a panel where Batman notes Stephanie almost snuck up on him and "not many people can do that" when again, no training, no martial arts classes, this is way before he agreed to give her any help at all-- and then for some reason, after noting this girl with no training is more talented than most people he knows, just keeps telling her she's not good enough and should go home.

That's a ridiculous level of raw talent, and it's honestly so bizarre nobody in the Batfamily ever noted that and kept telling her to go home. When she does get training, it's very sporadic, it is not clear how much Batman or Black Canary trained her the first time, he disappeared on her and then fired her as soon as he came back, and we never saw her get trained on screen by Dinah (the only person who ever acknowledged she had talent). She sparred with Cass, but Cass never taught her anything. Despite all this, she was noticeably getting way better during the era.

But when she received the six month Robin training that's supposed to make them so strong or whatever...how did that not result in her being a prodigy? She's the only Robin who was an experienced superhero before she took on the mantle?

Bruce literally tells her "Tim did this better" when he was training her about something, which makes no sense considering she came into being Robin with way more skills and experience and martial arts prowess??? When she was surviving on her own and fighting villains before that? When she could nearly sneak up on Bruce even before that?

You could claim she's a "bad student" or whatever, but she was a clearly very good at taking her gymnastic coach's instructions, enough to become a genius at it, so that doesn't really hold water.

The only explanation that would make any sense would be that Bruce taught her badly on purpose. which. unfortunately wouldn't be too far out of character from how he treated her in that era. (And that she apparently improved a lot under Babs tutelage as Batgirl but not his. So. Not a good look for him)

I mean the real answer for why all this makes no sense is DCs misogyny ofc. But it’s pretty wild how there’s no justification for this in universe.

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Batfam members who have killed and don't regret it: Helena, Jason, Kate

Batfam members who have killed and it scarred their psyche horribly: Cass, Damian

Batfam members who thought they killed or temporarily killed someone and had a mental breakdown because of it: Dick, Tim

Batfam members who almost killed but pulled themselves back from the edge by choice: Babs, Steph

Batfam members who would have killed if someone hadn't physically stopped them: Bruce, JPV

Batfam members who never tried to kill someone: Duke

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Which path should he choose?

The path of the warrior, the path of the scholar, or the path of the artist?

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POV: Your brother's best friend is cool

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Respawn and Damian interaction except they're being brothers.

(short)

...

Damian: "You’re a clone but still my brother."

Respawn (deadpan):

> "You’re right. I’m your older brother. I came out the Lazarus womb first. Bow down, fetus." (He didn't come first but he's still older [I'll explain later])

..

Damian: "I will drown you in the Batcave pool."

Respawn: "Sounds like you’re projecting, baby shark."

..

They have to share a room for a mission. Damian’s side? Perfectly clean. Respawn’s side? Looks like a cursed Hot Topic exploded.

Damian: "Clean your side before I bury your corpse under your own clothes."

Respawn: "Oh sorry, forgot we’re roommates in your twisted little monk fantasy. Get used to the mess, freak."

Damian: "I am this close to stuffing you back in the cloning vat."

..

Damian

>: "I was trained to kill since birth."

Respawn:

> "Since birth? Aw, poor thing. I didn’t even get a birth. I woke up in a tank. Imagine skipping diapers and going straight to stabbing."

Damian:

>"That explains your mental decay."

Respawn:

>"At least I wasn’t raised by a man named ‘Ra’s’. Like, that’s not even a full name. Was your next mentor named ‘Blergh’?"

...

They’re forced to fight side-by-side during a stealth mission. Respawn gets cocky.

Respawn (over comms): "Okay short-stack, I’ll take left, you take right. Don’t die, I don’t feel like dragging your bleeding ego back."

Damian: "Just stick to the plan, organ failure."

Respawn: "Aw, don’t be mean. I like it when you rely on me. Makes me feel wanted. Almost."

...

(TW! Head canons)

Okay the reason why Respawn is older than Damian is (at least in my head cannon)

Even though Damian was born first, he died at 10 (classic Robin move 💀), and was dead for almost a year.

Meanwhile, Respawn was alive during that whole time.

So if we’re talking “time spent alive without dying”, Respawn wins by like... few months..

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The bat-siblings ever btw

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remember when deathstroke kidnapped damian and put him in a tank slowly filling with water and damian spent the entire time being like “your kids hate you and you’re bad at your job and you’re a fucking boomer” before finishing it off with “come in here and slash my neck then i can be your kid too”. fucking GOT his ass.

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Recently I decided to do a deep dive into Cassandra Cain and truly reading her original and more important comics in chronological order, and holy shit. What the hell was I doing reading comics about dumb ass orphan boys in tights, this is so much better.

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GODDD these panels (batgirl 2009 #3) always get me……

steph was murdered (or “murdered”— was still tragically injured, in a coma, and out of commission for a year), became someone else (if you count going back to spoiler post-robin, or just becoming batgirl) AND almost certainly got shot in black mask’s torture.

she never got a plaque. she never got a memorial. she’s never been respected. STEPHANIE BROWN THEY DON’T DESERVE YOUUU

anyway. UGH. writing snippet inspired by this under the cut.

There’s a plaque. A Good Solider. 

It’s been there since the first time Steph was invited to the Batcave. Still is.

She thinks it was Alfred who made it. Bruce never wanted soldiers— kind of, anyway. You wouldn’t believe it if you only saw how he treated Cass— Steph’s not 100% sure Bruce even knows her name; Cass is just “Batgirl” to him. 

But Bruce never wanted soldiers! He told Steph that at every step— he didn’t want to involve more children than already were, didn’t want more children to die than already had.

Or maybe… 

Maybe he only wanted good soldiers. Steph never was that. Following orders— not her forte. Surviving— not that, either.

“I never got a memorial,” she whispers. The plaque is gold, engraved, and meticulously dusted; the costume is perfectly preserved— burn marks, bloodstains, and all.

Steph thinks her Robin costume is probably shoved in a box somewhere. Or maybe Bruce burnt it to rid himself of her mistakes.

“You never died,” Barbara shoots back, uncaringly, without even turning her head from the computer.

Steph stares. Shiny perfect gold and purple, cleaned and stitched up, folded up in a glass case right next to Jason’s.

It’s a memorial. 

And Barbara’s still alive. 

And Steph died. 

She keeps her eyes on it, accusingly, but Barbara never looks. 

No one ever looks. 

So Steph bites her tongue. Pushes the bloody part again her teeth, swallows some of the salty red. She smiles. “I flat-lined, actually.” 

Barbara isn’t even looking. She won’t see the blood.

“Oh, really? I thought that was another thing Leslie lied about.” 

Steph looks at the back of Barbara’s head (It’s all she ever sees of her, it sometimes feels like) and keeps her bloody smile up. “Wasn’t, cap’n.”

Finally, Babs stops typing. She leans back in her chair. And still doesn’t look at Steph. “One of your drug dealers was either crazy, stupid, or both. He went to the emergency room after an encounter with— and i quote— someone pretending to be Batgirl,” she says, with a dark enjoyment, before turning around and rolling to her car. 

And she keeps talking. Something about Thrill, or drugs, or the culprit, or whatever.

I died, Steph wants to scream. I died and no one but Cass cared, and you think she’s stupid for it! 

You don’t want me! 

You don’t… want me.

Steph is just… tired. She is dragging her coffin behind her constantly. And no one looks except to yell at her for the smell of rot or the grave dirt making a mess. 

You don’t want me, she thinks again, and it sounds as pathetic as a corpse should be. 

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Thought I would read one of my old fanfics to see how far I've come and feel accomplished and shit but I characterised Steph and Cass so much better back then. How the hell did I read both of their solo runs to understand their characters only to fail miserably and get them even worse. I don't feel accomplished bro. I'll never be as good as I once was.

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Just realised the blue part of superboy’s outfit is a shirt… always thought it extended till it became some sorta ballet outfit and he just put red tights under…

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fully believe that Barbara Gordon creating the identity of Batgirl with her own hands and becoming someone who takes making a difference into her own hands is a sign that Batman and Robin aren't exclusive, anyone in Gotham can bring a little light into the place, provided they have the bravery to step out.

It's about the hope that Batman inspires and how it will continue to evolve into a family and not just a duo or trio.

she carved that identity HERSELF!! SHE MADE IT. she wasn't ever handed anything she forged her way through, and that defines barbara so much!!