haunting-hufflepuffs-basement

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

I'm back with more HP Lukewarm takes:

Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint absolutely hate-snogged after quidditch games and in the hallways. There was no love there. They are the epitome of "I can't stand the only person who ever understood me."

Tbh, this is the safest option for everyone. If they could actually get along, they would match each other's freak to a degree that would put the entire planet in danger.

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Finally doing one of these reblog chain things.

Reblog to blast love at your moots/cool people you like!

No pressure guys.

@likablemuffin @gaysideofmarvel @unjudgmentalnoob @iobsesswaytoomuch @fluffyyyfrog9000 @minish-mews-and-twos @crowdrinkingcoffee @mintythetiredgrizzcoworker @luna1star10 @lunarloaches22 @lil-leon @pmkn2-0 @a-big-chicken-nerd @akita747 @spookymoody928 @troublesjunkyard @alixxthedoeyfanatic

(Yes I know I haven’t spoken to some of you. DOESN’T MATTER.)

IF I FORGOT YOU I’M SORRY IT WASN’T ON PURPOSE.

On a side note, holy deep fried McFuckitall, I have so many moots/friends now wtf-

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

Marauders Era Characters as Dumb Shit My Family Has Said

My family says dumb shit, time to expose them all and entertain the Marauders Peeps while I do it!

Sirius, sometime post Azkaban: "AH, NEED SOMMA THAT OL TOBY!" *aggressively sucks on pipe. "Oh great, now I have superglue in my beard."

James: *walks into their room* Remus: "We need to have a talk." James: "About what?" Remus: "Your grades! They're not---" James: *turns on the lights* Remus: "OW MY EYES!" James: "Short talk. Glad we had this."

Regulus, to Pandora: "No, you cannot turn the pyramids into a digeridoo."

Peter: "Hahaha suckers! I knew what was up as soon as I heard the boomwhackers!"

Fleamont: "I'm gonna go get milk." James: "Make sure you come back" Fleamont: ". . . I'm gonna get some cigs too."

Lily: "It all works out with this thing called the magic math and lemme tell you, IT ISN'T VERY MAGICAL!"

Mary: "No, she's already scared it away, it's not coming back. Now, if the door was open and she could see the invisible AXES they were carrying!"

Marlene: "I win! I broke you with stupidity!"

Peter to Lily: "You're pretty!" Lily: "Mmm. Pretty tired." Peter: "James, tell her she's pretty!" James: "I'm pretty sure I've already called her beautiful three times this morning. If not: *smooch* good morning beautiful!" Lily: *grouchy face* "Nope. Wrong." James: "Good night beautiful!" Lily, leaning in and smiling: "Much better. Those are the words I wanted to hear."

Evan: "It turned their brains into soup." Barty: ". . . Was it good soup?" Evan: ". . . I don't know. Nobody tried it." Barty: "YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE A SOUP METAPHOR AND THEN NOT TRY THE SOUP!"

Sirius, staring at Remus in awe: "I think your depression just made that song 10 times darker." Remus: "Am I proud of myself? Yes. Yes I am. . . Dang it, now I'm never gonna be able to listen to this song the same way again!"

I have more, but for now I shall make my exit *Throws a smokebomb and trips on my cloak as I leave*

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I saw you’re an eagle scout! I have this stupid story: in my first winter camp out, I fell through the ice on a stream when I was walking around and I came back drenched and then my troop leader had me strip and hang everything by the fire and gave me a big blanket to huddle in. Anyways I forget ab those clothes and went over to eat and I come back and my pants socks and all my underlayers for warmth had all cought fire :) and to put it out I just dumped my soup on them cuz I was panicking. I’ve since improved at camping ofc but I’m known as “holy fuck my socks are one fire” guy

anyways, share cool stories! I wanna hear other ppls stories to feel better ab my self

This is beautiful, thank you for sharing your scout stories! "Holy fuck my socks are on fire" guy would have fit right into my troop, right next to "Take Two Steps Back And get Ready to Jump!"

This is a tale of my second ever campout, way back when I was but a wee 13 year old, and we were doing our first ever leadership training.

At the time, our troop was organized into 4 patrols. And yes, all the nicknames I use in this are nicknames we actually had.

The Book Thieves/The Girls Troop: which consisted of 4 members, all of us aged 12-14.

The Samurais: A quartet of boys aged 12-14 with a lot of enthusiasm and not a lot of brains.

The Fallout Duckies: a large patrol of boys who only sometimes showed up, but on this campout had ~5 members, aged 14-16.

The Pakana Patrol: The oldest patrol of most experienced boys, ages 15-17. On this particular campout, there were 4 of them: Two brothers, Nora (younger, patrol leader) and Cassie (older, senior in high school), a Texas transplant called Veronica, and the scoutmaster's son Joe Mama.

We did a lot of different ridiculous activities as part of our leadership training, from cooking as a patrol (my patrol didn't know how to turn on a gas stove), tenting as a patrol (my shoes got destroyed because it was wet and pouring and I had to borrow a leader's spare muck boots), and doing patrol skits (where the Samurais hit each other with sticks, called it Mortal Kombat, and were subsequently banned from ever doing Mortal Kombat again. "No Mortal Kombat" remained on the ban list all the way until my graduation, and as far as I know, it's still there).

The most notable example though, was the blindfolded obstacle course. As a practical demonstration of how you need to trust your patrol leaders and work with them, the leaders set up an obstacle course of rocks and sticks. All patrol members except for the patrol leader were then blindfolded, and the PL had to guide them through the course without touching any of the rocks or sticks. If somebody touched something, everybody had to restart the course.

My PL Bob was known for finding and using loopholes (she did Congress in Speech and Debate), and this was no exception. Our patrol went first and she carefully guided all of us to the edge of the obstacle course and we just went straight around all of the obstacles. After the leaders banned that particular trick, the Samurais and the Fallout Duckies each made a quick and valiant effort with several restarts apiece.

Then it was the Pakanas turn, and the leaders were not letting them off the hook that easily. They had the most experience out of everyone and they had just had a chance to watch 3 other patrols do it. They blindfolded the Pakanas, and then rearranged the obstacle course to be much more difficult, with little tripods of sticks and rock quarries all over the place. But the piece de resistance was of course The Benches. The leaders had grabbed two benches and stacked them up on top of each other right in the middle of the course. They spanned the whole thing---there would be no going around.

Keep in mind that most of the Pakanas had no idea what they were about to go through. Nora stared at the course in absolute disbelief, and then, resigned to his fate, began guiding the guys through.

While the previous patrol leaders had tried to keep everyone at roughly the same spot on the course, Nora decided it would be easier to guide them through one at a time. After leaving his brother Cassie to rot at the starting line and guiding Veronica and Joe Mama halfway through the course, he finally had to face the obstacle of The Benches. After doing about two laps around the course to see it from every possible angle, Nora had apparently decided that the only way to get these three dudes past the benches---all of whom were taller than 5' 9"---was to make them go under.

He ordered Joe Mama on to the floor and had him army crawl through the two square feet between the bench posts. Once he was safely on the other side, he informed Joe Mama he was now in timeout. Joe Mama was all like "Was it really necessary for me to drag myself through the muddy floor?" and Nora was all "YES NOW SHUT UP!"

Joe Mama then ordered one of the Samurais to fetch him his hot cocoa, and spent the rest of this little adventure sardonically commenting on how it sure would be nice to not just stand here in the freezing cold and covered in mud, to which everybody else was like "shut up, you're not special."

Since Joe Mama was rather annoyed about the mud, Nora decided to take a slightly different approach for Veronica. Nora guided him to a low spot between the two benches and shouted one of the most quoted lines in my scout troop, to this day: "ALRIGHT NOW TAKE TWO STEPS BACK AND GET READY TO JUMP!"

Veronica, predictably went "I'M NOT JUMPING YOU IDIOT, I'M BLINDFOLDED!"

It was at this point that the leaders realized they should probably add some guidance before somebody got hurt. One of the scoutmasters said "Nora, you can tell them which obstacles you're trying to take them around."

To which Nora responded: "Oh! Good point! Veronica, I'm about to make you crawl under a bench,"

(cue Joe Mama: "WHAT THE HECK YOU GUYS, I WENT UNDER A BENCH???")

He very carefully proceeded to guide Veronica on the exact same path as Joe Mama, all the time stressing, "NO YOU CANNOT LIFT YOUR HEAD UP, YOU'LL HIT THE BENCH!" Do keep in mind that Veronica was even taller.

(After Veronica was safely past this part of the course, Cassie took it upon himself to complain "Can I come out of timeout now?" Nora's response: "Cassie, SIT DOWN!" Cassie remained seated for the better part of this journey)

Nora navigated Veronica and Joe Mama out of the way so that Cassie would have room to crawl underneath the bench.

At last it was Cassie's turn. While guiding him through, Nora, who did not know his left from his right, had Cassie on the floor and said "I need you to move your foot. . . *holds up his hands in L shapes*. . . LEFT!" He needed Cassie to go right. Cassie went right because these two share a brain cell.

With the unencouraging and cries from his teammates about how "If you make us go under that thing again Cassie, we'll kill you in your sleep," Cassie did finally finally make it underneath the bench, and the three boys did make it across the finish line, after 15 minutes and no restarts.

We did, in fact, get their reactions on film, and this anecdote was one of the most retold in my entire time in scouting. Nora would never escape being the guy who said "TAKE TWO STEPS BACK AND GET READY TO JUMP," and no blindfolded obstacle courses were ever quite the same.

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

More gems from my mother getting on the HP fanfic train:

Mom now ships Perciver. Without prompting. I brought up that Percy and Oliver were in the same year and roommates and she went "now there's a couple! I think they'd be cute!" Smart lady. I rambled about Perciver to her for a WHILE.

I brought up the possibility of Oliver/Marcus, and she said "No, they couldn't get along even without the quidditch rivalry. They're both in love with Percy and have to fight about it."

I explained that I dislike Dramoine (which is how she got on HP fanfic) and that I think if any of the Golden Trio were going to even get along with Draco in their adult years, it'd be Harry. She now wants Drarry fic recs. I can't win.

Mom agrees with me that the Puffs characterization of the Hufflepuffs of Harry's year is the correct characterization, and canon should be disregarded in this department.

Mom now wants fanfic where Fred lives and George has a queer awakening and has to figure out how to come out to his twin.

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Oooh! Fun.

Looks: HMMMM. Difficult to say. I am a fat white girl with blue hair. I don't look like anyone.

Music Taste: Peter in the sense that I will listen to anything and like it, Mary in the sense that I will sing musical soundtracks at 2 a.m.

Kins: over 2 years of being In Fandom TM and I'm still not fully sure what this means. I think the answer we're looking for is Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, and Mary MacDonald.

Style: James Potter and Remus Lupin (no style lmao)

Hobbies: Um. I wanna say Barty actually. What do we think, would Barty play the cello and have a spreadsheet of shipnames? Sounds right to me. Otherwise I'm going to project it onto Emmeline.

Get to know me (Marauders edition)

Looks: Lily Evans

Music taste: Remus Lupin

Kin(s): James Potter and Marlene McKinnon

Style: Mary Macdonald

Hobbies: Regulus and Sirius Black

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Hey! I live!

Last Song: Cellblock Tango from Chicago

Favorite Color: Nuanced, but it's easiest to just say blue

Last Movie: Don't quote me on this but I think it was Blackbeard's Ghost on Christmas

Last TV Show: Crime Scene Kitchen because my parents were watching it (only reason I watch tv)

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sweet. I'm a slut for sugar.

Relationship Status: You hear the sounds of breaking glass, a cat wailing, and a voice going "MY EYES!"

Last thing I googled: "When is the superbowl?" (Believe it or not this was work related)

Latest Obsession: I am currently drowning in a pile of DC Comics (many Batman related but not all) because my old high school friend is a menace.

Looking Forward To: My day off so I have the brainpower to talk about Harry Potter again while I fail to escape the pile of DC Comics.

10 people I want to know better

Tagged by @bowieluvr91 you are actually so cool thank you for tagging me!!! 🥰🥰

Last song: La Bella Fleur Sauvage - Lord Huron

Favourite colour: green!! Specifically like a dark green or sage green

Last movie: Challengers- I was Late to the game and finally watched it, it was so good (I love anything Luca Guadagnino puts his hands on)

Last tv show: Binge watching Gilmore girls can not tell you how many times I’ve watch this show

Sweet/spicy/savoury: sweet and savoury I like them both together and will crave the one when I eat the other

Relationship: single going on 22 years

Last thing I googled: “Saturday Nosferatu showtimes” (we are going at 9pm then going to get sangria after to decompress)

Latest obsession: puzzles! I am back in my puzzle girl era

Looking forward to: my trip to England!! Visiting my friend who lives in England we will also be visiting Wales, Scotland and Norway. I am sooooo looking forward to fried halloumi I can’t even explain how much I crave it, it’s so hard to find here reason number billion why America sucks.

Tagging @somanyquestions-featuringanxiety @trainingseasons @glen-powells @dcmcntcrs @babyblack61 @rocklouii @alltoounwellll @stillgotscars @take-me-out-tonight @bralnwashed

ignore this if you don’t wanna do it I or if you don’t wanna be tagged in this type of stuff I won’t mind!!!!

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

I'm not a human on the internet, I'm a ghost. This used to be a reference to the fact that I was a lurking lurker who lurked and never left evidence of my existence, but that is no longer true. I am now rhe loudest and most insufferable ghost in the room!

This account is for my potter related stuff and I am also a shameless hufflepuff, who's common room happens to be in the basement (and I used to live in the basement irl before we moved).

@passion-green-tea and @janeiscompletelyfine

Tag game🎉

Tag your moots and ask them where they got the idea for their tumblr accounts name!

For my name it was a nickname I was giving back in middleschool! One of our teacher had a system where we worked with 'wifi' eachtime we talked in class we lost a bar of the "wifi" (was a weird joke and we never held count on that) All the kids usually joked if they needed 'wifi' , they would borrow mine if they wanted to talk more. (I was incredibly shy in middle school, I only talked to like 3 people at school;^;)

They called me Ms. Wifi because of that. I just thought it would be funny if I put 'miss' instead of 'ms' because of my terrible actual wifi connection I have at home lol.

That's my story! Now moots, only if you guys want to, tell us your story.

Tags-> @slipping-lately @firequeenofficial @noagskryf @twinklstarrrr @halfbakedspuds @polterwasteist @rokushi-san @mygedagtes +anyone that sees this and wants to do this as well

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

[the prefects meeting]

McGonagall: and most importantly- prevent any prohibited activities. Can I count on you?

Remus, 'the drug dealer' Lupin: Of course.

Lily, 'the quick snuck out to muggle London' Evans: Of course.

Pandora, 'the explosive constructor' Rosier: Of course.

Evan, 'the drug buyer' Rosier: Of course.

Emmeline, 'the beat the shit out of every bully' Vance: Of course.

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Narcissa: Where are the kids?

Andromeda: I thought they were with you...

Narcissa: ...Wait... So that means...

Andromeda: Oh shit!

*They both starts running as fast as they can up the stairs and burst through the door, just to find perfectly fine baby Reggie and Sirius sitting on the floor, listening to Bellatrix explaining in details how to kill a person with a fork in 7 different ways.*

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

HEEEEELLLLLP!

OKAY! SO! First off, I'm not dead, just very very busy! Sometimes life does that to you lol!

Second off, remember my mother? The one who wants to read Timothy Chalamet's Wonka/Newt Scamander fanfic? The one who thinks Jegulus is weak if we're doing crackships and that we should try for Snape/Mundungus (I'm still waiting on people to write those btw).

So she's found her way onto ao3. Via goodreads while looking for enemies to lovers novels for her job as a librarian. And is now using ao3 to read Dramoine smut fic. And I am bluescreening ya'll.

You wanna know the best part? SHE HAS BETTER FANFIC ETTIQUETTE THAN ALL OF US, because she is a first time ao3 user and LEFT A COMMENT. On SMUT fic. Which have disproportionately low levels of kudos and comments.

(The fic is called Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love btw).

So. Moral of the story is, put fanfic on goodreads I guess?

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Hey Spectr! I've noticed you've been less active on here for a little while, everything okay?

Hey Jane! I'm not dead! Things are alright, my irl life has just gone pretty nuts. Lots of ups and downs. Thanks for checking up on me!

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

still the judgey and snooping-in-corners group of friends, well into their adulthood

(happy new year, my friends)

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Yo! All the minors that follow me! Block button!

Ok guys, I have shit to say and y’all need to listen.

@furrygladiatormusic is a perv

He said he’s going to “leak” @theodditylacey when she didn’t even do shit. Lacey and I think he’s going to leak a random girl and say it’s her, please everyone either say something or mass report him. He’s insane, he was sending PORN to a 13 year old and calling me a fag when he himself is one!! He’s extremely homophobic when he is literally part of the community and he’s a republican. Please everyone watch out and do something about him.

Lacey and I wanted to post this so if any girls are being harassed by him they can come forward and we as a community can do something about it.

Please reblog this to get the word out

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Hermione really out there committing crimes every single year huh?

Year 1: Set a teacher on fire.

Year 2: Brewed an illegal potion.

Year 3: Meddled with time.

Year 4: Kidnapped a woman and imprisoned her in a jar.

Year 5: Blackmailed a journalist and intentionally lured a government official to her doom in the Forbidden Forest. (And broke into the Ministry but that was a group thing).

Year 6: Took a break to have relationship drama.

Year 7: Too many crimes to count. Highlights include Ministry break in (again), bank robbery, and dragon theft.

Damn girl. Even Tom Riddle's school years look chill by comparison.

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"Wine," "cynicism," and "manipulation."

*looks at the general state of american politics*

Yup that tracks. Anyway fuck that, I'm gonna sit here in my little isolated bubble with my apple juice and my faith in humanity and my too-genuine personality intact thanks.

Witchcraft, Wisdom, Death...

[haunting-hufflepuffs-basement]

So here's the thing:

Irl, queer people, even closeted queer people or people who don't know they're queer tend to attract other queer people. The same applies to neurodivergence. Which means it is STARTLINGLY easy to accidentally write a whole friend group as gay and autistic.

Additionally, even amongst mostly straight friend groups, homoerotic relationships ABOUND. My entire friend group in high school behaved fairly indistinguishably from a lesbian polycule despite having zero people who knew they were queer, and only me having a queer realization since.

I usually just tend to go off Vibes, but if you don't wanna make EVERYBODY bi/gay, here's some suggestions:

1. Someone in the comments already said this, but find some m/f canon pairings you like and decide those characters are straight (for me, this is Romoine and Alice and Frank Longbottom, but not Jily or Hinny, so grain of salt there).

2. Make every friend group have a token straight or token straight couple. There are lots of sub friend groups you'll be working with, and you'll end up with a decent amount of straight people that way.

3. Assign a couple of friend groups to be "the straight ones." Like I said, queer people tend to accidentally attract each other, so it makes sense to have several groups that are mostly queer and several groups that are mostly straight. You can also pick a group that is specifically a mix of queer and straight people.

4. Find some characters you don't have many strong feelings about, especially ship-wise, and preemptively assign them to be straight before you get overly attached.

5. Leave an abundance of characters without relationships. This means that when you write them, even if you end out dropping a lot of ship tease with them and a friend, it can pass for a homoerotic straight friendship (which, like I said before, is fairly common).

6. Being aspec myself means I also tend to project that onto a lot of characters. While it definitely isn't the same as being straight, aspec characters are a very different flavor of queer that can provide some variety there. The same applies to trans characters (especially heterosexual trans characters).

You can also just still say "fuck it" and make them all gay. They're already wizards, you can make it as unrealistic as you want. I have personally never seen someone get annoyed over a fanfic being "too gay." At least not on tumblr and ao3. Maybe somewhere else, but like you said, this is gayland. I am a card carrying member of Sigmund Freud's Hate Club, but I do also believe everyone is a little bi. My parents are both straight, but they both have their little hear-me-outs for the other gender. Straight with exceptions is a thing.

Question?

I’m writing my fic, right? And I’m also thinking of doing a one shot about the Black family realizing that they’re all in secret gay relationships (the cousins, as in Regulus, Sirius, Narcissa, Andy, and Bellatrix.) And in both of them like everybody is gay. And yes this is tumblr, yes this is gayland, but seriously. How gay can I make this? Are people gonna be annoyed?

I don’t want to make it so I’m sort of playing a system of checks and balances with my relationships. But also, like, there’s a statistic and as much as I’d like to believe the ‘everyone is a little bisexual’ thing, that came from someone who thought homosexuality was a mental disability and a lot of people are just Straight. So what do I do then?