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[howlovelyhana]

The borderlined life excerpt ten from my poetry book:

I have a chamber of secrets locked away some where, there’s stories full of anger I cannot open again, untouched letters of a bitter teenager girl who thought the world desperately wanted her out. There’s always been something so alive inside me that everything around me felt dead. I’m afraid that if I look my past in the eyes, I will realise that nothing has changed

[howlovelyhana]

i think i was born wrong. faulty, incomplete. something is inherently wrong with me, and i’m not sure if anything can fix me

[howlovelyhana]

The borderlined life poetry book chapter collection

Excerpt 1: https://www.tumblr.com/howlovelyhana/735991912664793088/the-borderlined-life-excerpt-one-from-my-poetry

Excerpt 2: https://www.tumblr.com/howlovelyhana/735992094494261249/the-borderlined-life-excerpt-two-from-my-poetry

Excerpt 3: https://www.tumblr.com/howlovelyhana/736234188718702592/the-borderlined-life-excerpt-three-from-my-poetry

Excerpt 4: https://www.tumblr.com/howlovelyhana/736246511276621824/the-borderlined-life-excerpt-four-from-my-poetry

Excerpt 5: https://www.tumblr.com/howlovelyhana/736343682769436672/the-borderlined-life-excerpt-five-from-my-poetry

Excerpt 6: https://www.tumblr.com/howlovelyhana/736943348950204416/the-borderlined-life-excerpt-six-from-my-poetry

Excerpt 7: https://www.tumblr.com/howlovelyhana/737096826688323585/the-borderlined-life-excerpt-seven-from-my-poetry

Excerpt 8: https://www.tumblr.com/howlovelyhana/737339439590801408/the-borderlined-life-excerpt-eight-from-my-poetry

Excerpt 9: https://www.tumblr.com/howlovelyhana/737646033201512449/the-borderlined-life-excerpt-nine-from-my-poetry

[howlovelyhana]

The borderlined life excerpt nine from my poetry book:

I think of death often. The thought greets me every morning as my eyelids flutter open and kisses me goodnight before I sleep, death meets me where no one else has, in the total abyss of my mind. It tells me to surrender to the peace only it can provide me, and I dance with the idea. What would it feel like to be freed from my mind forever? There is a comfort I know I will never find anywhere else, an alluring sense of serenity I have searched for my whole life. I became death, the way it became me.

[howlovelyhana]

The borderlined life excerpt eight from my poetry book:

I was born with a missing piece, and it was replaced with something dead. I cannot function like they do with a mind like mine.

[howlovelyhana]

The borderlined life excerpt seven from my poetry book:

Somewhere within time the cord between us got cut, you stopped replying and I stopped pretending that I didn’t care. Everything hurt more after, I couldn’t pin point where the blood was pouring out from, it felt like I was a whole wound. I kept the memories though, I think you should know that.

[howlovelyhana]

[howlovelyhana]

The borderlined life excerpt six from my poetry book:

When I love someone it feels like I am on fire, I love so intensely that the flames grow in the shape of a home. My warmth burns you as you walk in but I try to protect you from the heat. I try, I try and I try. But even I can’t save you, the flames engulf you and you try hard to leave, afraid to be burnt, afraid to be scarred from my love that no longer feels like a home, but a silent volcano always ready to erupt.

[howlovelyhana]

why are people so shocked and concerned when my borderline personality is being borderline.. like yes, my mind isn’t stable I don’t just say or do things because it’s silly

[howlovelyhana]

to sit and watch the day pass you by

[howlovelyhana]

[howlovelyhana]

🤍 the ultimate ana playlist 🤍

oh ana - mother mother

ribs - lorde

pretty when you cry - lana del rey

all the things she said - t.A.T.u

bang bang bang bang - sohodolls

diet mountain dew - lana del rey

put me in a movie - lana del rey

guilded lily - cults

4 morant - com truise (unreleased doja cat)

prom queen - beach bunny

orange juice - melanie martinez

teen idle - marina

gasoline - halsey

using you - mars argo

paper bag - fiona apple

yellow - coldplay

tired - beabadoobee

i bet on losing dogs - mitski

sports - beach bunny

lacy - olivia rodrigo

afraid - the neighborhood

the perfect girl - mareux

seventeen - ladytron

genesis - grimes

my best friend ana - daisy phillips

coffee - jack stauber

motion sickness - pheobe bridgers

false jeopardy - the kickback

sugar and ice - elsyiansoul

ill die anyway - girl in red

my body is a cage - sara lov

skinny love - birdy

goner - 21 pilots

painkiller - beach bunny

listen before i go - billie eilish

panic room - au/ra

heather - conan grey

strawberry shortcake - melanie martinez

july - noah cyrus

liability - lorde

carmen - lana del rey

everything i wanted - billie eilish

washing machine heart - mitski

first love / late spring - mitski

bubble gum - clairo

smaller than this - sara keys

dying to be thin - no frills twins

exit music - radiohead

duvet - boa

medicine - daughter

sunsetz - cigarettes after s3x

i love you so - the walters

matilda - harry styles

mirrorball - taylor swift

always forever - cults

heart to heart - mac demarco

back to the old house - the smiths

i know the end - pheobe bridgers

refections - the neighborhood

Kingston - faye webster

break - alex g

iris - the goo goo dolls

mrs. potato head - melanie martinez

bored - billie eilish

kids - current joys

[howlovelyhana]

[howlovelyhana]

The borderlined life excerpt five from my poetry book:

Who is she? The girl in the mirror. I’ve never met her. Somehow I have lost myself, from when I was a child till now, Ive lost her. I’ve done everything to find myself again. I’ve changed my hair, ruined my body and bought every outfit they told me would look good. But I can’t find her. I don’t know who I am or what Ive become. The girl in the mirror is a ghost and so is that child I once was.

[howlovelyhana]

[howlovelyhana]

I can be pretty if you want me to be, but that’ll mean I would have to die.

[howlovelyhana]

i must be an oscar winning actress cuz wdym no one sees how im literally dying inside