imtraumatizedsblog - Tumblr blog

[imtraumatizedsblog]

No one ever talks about how hard it is to trust yourself if you’ve been through trauma or are mentally ill. Not trusting others is a common assumption but what about not trusting your own mind. Not knowing which thoughts to believe. Not trusting that you will be able to go somewhere and not have a panic attack or ptsd episode or be triggered in general. Not trusting your actions because they’ve always been critiqued etc. Not trusting yourself is a new kind of hell that no one should have to experience.

[imtraumatizedsblog]

“This year taught me that my loneliness has more to do with myself than anyone else. The loneliest I will ever be is when I do not have the strength to love myself.”

— Marianna Paige

[imtraumatizedsblog]

I love this

Truth is that the heart needs more forms of love from your partner than just romantic love. It needs the nurturing and unconditional love like the one that comes from a parent. It needs the love that helps you achieve your maximum potential, that empowers your virtues and is patient with your flaws like that of a teacher. It needs the love of a friend who will listen without judgment, who will laugh with you and be your confidant and accomplice. It needs the devoted love of a healer who will tend to your wounds and hurts and never turn a blind eye to your suffering but rather help the healing process knowing all the time the healing and the timing is all yours. Love is more than just romance and passion, and sooner or later it will die out if you do not nurture all the other faces of love. For if love has a thousand faces, how bland would it be if my love for you were the same one all the time. 

e.v.e.

[imtraumatizedsblog]

Even if you were, FORGIVE YOURSELF we all make mistakes and we learn from them even if it happened more than once. WE ARE HUMANS we are not meant to be perfect.

[imtraumatizedsblog]

Please give People who have a hard time opening up about their traumas some time and be patient with them.. trust me if they got a bad reaction out of you they’ll never open up to you again and you’ll end up wondering why they’re not honest

People need to understand that for those who have gone through trauma experience things differently.

If you went through an abandonment as a child, a breakup others would get over with in months can take years to overcome.

If you went through domestic abuse, even small changes in a loved one's tone can make you anxious.

If you were belittled your whole childhood, being professionally critized at work can feel like the end of the world.

Trauma effects us for a long time after it occurs.

[imtraumatizedsblog]

The WORST thing you can do is tell a person they aren't trying hard enough to a person who's gone way beyond themselves to try something

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I thought the love I was getting worth it turns out it was long life lesson 😂

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Maybe we held on a little too long to the people who don’t deserve us because we had more good in our hearts than they did. Maybe we saw them for how they could have been if they had a heart like ours. But they didn’t, and maybe they never will. Hearts like ours are special. They should be treasured, not broken. 🤍

[imtraumatizedsblog]

I hope it gets easier for you to live in the now. To remember that you're here, in the present moment, that you're safe, even if your mind is thinking of the worst case scenario. You will overcome every obstacle when they arrive, but right now, you can rest.

[imtraumatizedsblog]

Lying as a trauma driven behavior..

Lying is actually a completely normal human behavior. Think about it- when was the last time you lied? Be honest with yourself (ha, I chuckled at the irony). It probably wasn’t that long again.

Be honest!

There are all sorts of reasons floating into your mind I’m sure- but they all land somewhere near the truth that we only lie because we are afraid of what will happen if we don’t. We only lie because it doesn’t feel safe to tell the truth. And when I say safe, I’m don’t necessarily mean physically safe. It could be relationally safe.

Sometimes lying happens because we cannot tolerate the idea of what could happen to the relationship, even if it’s just for a moment, if we told the truth.

Sometimes lying happens because we cannot tolerate the idea of what could happen inside us (shame, dysregulation, etc.) if we told the truth.

There really are quite a lot of explanations for lying but ultimately it almost always comes down to it’s not safe to tell the truth.

It comes from having a traumatic childhood…

As children, we are routinely punished for telling the truth. For example, if a child sees something that could make adults uncomfortable, they are encouraged not to say anything. Sometimes they are even actively punished or rejected or ignored for it.

Many caregivers sacrifice a childs authenticity for the comfort of adults.

Contradictory standards

Not only is telling the truth often disallowed, sometimes the child is held to contradictory standards. In some situations they are always expected to tell the truth but in others they are strongly discouraged from doing so.

For example, the child is expected to tell the truth about where they are going, what they are doing, and similar personal things. Here, truth and honesty are good. Yet in many families, if the child sees that, for example, the father is drinking again or that the mother is hysterically crying or that the parents are fighting, they are expected not to talk about it.

In friendships/ romantic relationships, please give your friend/ partner a safe space to express how they truly feel without being judged or have the fear of consequences.. or else you’re going to wonder why they constantly lie to you where all you do is judge them or constantly misunderstand them or make them feel unheard

[imtraumatizedsblog]

So when I was 9 I got a tablet for me birthday (this was almost 6 years ago) and my mom let me get Netflix on it and around the time the movie Sausage Party came out. And my older sister (11) made me watch it with her. I was already aware of what sex was she had told me what it was when I was 8. She has now said I paid her $30 to do so. I didn't. I was just wondering is this abuse? This memory just resurfaced and I already have trauma from this older sister gaslight me constantly. But is this something I should tell my mom?

Hey anon, I do need more detail concerning you’re mother.. is she the type of person you think will understand you and believe you? because a lot of the times mothers won’t believe their child when it comes to abuse of that sort especially when it comes from a sibling.. and this is a major issue.

I understand it’s very hard to deal with a sibling that constantly gaslights you

Those who gaslight don’t want you to know it’s gaslighting which they’re doing. They want you to doubt yourself, and your opinions, giving them the control they desire.

The moment you figure out what gaslighting is, the moment you’re already armed and ready for the next time someone tries to gaslight you.

Now that you have the first step, the next time someone gaslights, just passively blow it off. When possible, don’t engage. Express how you remember things differently and step away from a conversation you know that will have you gaslit

Get back to me as soon as you can so I could help you once I gather all the information I need to know

[imtraumatizedsblog]

I desperately needed to hear that

If you ever reached out for help and it went badly, I want you to know that was ENTIRELY a reflection on the people you reached out to and not on you. You deserved help. You deserved support. You deserved to heal. It may still hurt if you were not treated with that level of love and compassion and you are entirely allowed to feel that way, but do not let it reflect on how you feel about yourself and the support you deserve.

[imtraumatizedsblog]

finding a human that you can be vulnerable with while feeling completely safe is priceless.

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give yourself some credit for surviving the days where you thought the world was ending

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and if people are not willing to understand you after explaining it countless of times then they are not the one for you..

Normalize people genuinely not knowing things. I see so many people jump for the throat when someone makes a mistake and I'd just like to say - Not everyone is saying things with solely ill intent in mind. People make mistakes, people misread things or misunderstand things, etc etc. Normalize being a person and not always getting things right the first time

[imtraumatizedsblog]

It’s so hard making friends when you have a RBF