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[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Would This Still Have Happened?

SUMMARY: He deserves someone better. WORD COUNT: ~150

WARNINGS: It's about my dog getting surgery, and I wrote it when I was feeling really horrible about it all, so uh. Yeah. It's probably not that graphic but uh. You've been warned.

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

Your big brown eyes Blindly trusting I hate to break that trust But it has to be done

Now you're all alone In that bright white room Far away from me Lost, I know

Your inquisitiveness Your curiosity Your tendency to eat That was your downfall

Brittany Spaniels are always like this Bet you didn't know You can't eat that You can't eat that You can't Eat That.

But you did Playing with those rocks outside Playing with those sticks Those deceptively delicious acorns That would soon be unable to move

And now you're sick And I'm sick inside Wishing I could be better Wishing I had stopped you

You don't deserve this Where did I go wrong I heard the stories Heard the tales But I still didn't Stop you

But it's gone and done now I try to tell myself Put on a mask That is almost too perfect

But that nagging voice persists Asking, repeating If I had done something else Would this still have happened?

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Not a Phase

SUMMARY: My sexuality won’t change to fit your ideals. WORD COUNT: ~800

WARNINGS: Internalized homophobia, homophobia, more internalized homophobia, etc

A/N: Is this about my pansexuality? Yes. Is this how I came out to my language arts teacher and like a couple of her classes (because she loved it so much that she asked if she could share it out to the class on Google Classroom as one of the best pieces of writing that quarter)? Yes. Even six months later this still hits hard I-

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

they’re so pretty (my first thought) but it’s not love (my second thought) …right?

not talking about guys (though they are pretty too) i’m talking about girls (not like you didn’t expect it)

but it’s not as if it’s real

or that’s what i thought.

never thought i’d feel this way; wouldn’t have ever believed i’d be gay.

if you asked a younger version of me, she’d stare up, blinking, not understanding: what does that even mean?

never even knew what it meant, not until fifth grade; never even knew a person who was “that way,” not until sixth.

it wasn’t until the end of seventh grade that i figured it out; that the mere presence of a girl could make my heart race without doubt.

i still remember the day when my eyes were wide open, realizing that these weren’t just some random thoughts; that they weren’t

normal.

that most people didn’t think girls were pretty; maybe a guy would. (my gender is a mess; that’s a different story)

it was as if all the years of ignoring it, of hoping it would go away, of denying it, (whether intentionally or not) didn’t work

like sappho and her poems was my queer awakening

aphrodite, goddess of love: her affections pulled me to a girl, not only guys.

do i really even like them? analyzing every bit to try to see what was so special about them, about girls.

(was there anything special?) (why did i feel this way?) (am i broken?) (why don’t i only like guys?)

even after i realized that my feelings were real, i still didn’t believe myself.

maybe there was a mistake, an error.

something wrong deep inside of me.

am i a joke? is this a game? why am i like this?

the confusion in me as i research seeing the multitude of names for different types of love finally making me realize and even accept the fact

that

i don’t care who i fall in love with i don’t care about what gender they are a guy, a girl, neither, or any—

that the heart wants what the heart wants, and it only depends on personality, not the looks.

but then again, i feel like i never fit into one place never gay enough, never straight enough never fully accepted by either group

“you have to have it rough, and you have to choose a side.” “you can’t have both, you can only be gay or straight.”

even now, i worry that it’s just a phase that i’m just going through something that it’s just not real

that i’m faking it. that i’ve been pressured into thinking this way

the words people say don’t help; hurts even worse when it comes from someone i know, maybe even care about (a classmate) (a teacher) (a friend) (a crush) (a family member)

their opinions drag me down; a hurtful word, a downward glance, even a quiet noise of distaste can make my chest ache, my heart hurt, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

even though i know (i’ve known for more than two years now), i just don’t get accepted by everyone, especially not the people who matter the most.

“it’s just a phase.” “you’re too young to know anything.” “you need to find a good husband.” the implications that a wife would not be accepted.

it’s really amazing to be queer, isn’t it? always happiness and rainbows.

no one talks about the shame, the fear, the hurt, from both yourself and others.

forced to be hidden in “the closet,” a shell, only showing a glimpse of my true self, of who i really am

but i just remind myself no one can drag me down. that a flag with pink, yellow, and blue shouldn’t make me want to hide.

and just because people want to hurt me doesn’t mean that i should just let them.

still, some days i feel bad ashamed pained

like i shouldn’t be gay, that it’s just plain wrong. falling prey to their sharp words; listening to it, accepting it as truth.

but on other days? i feel better prouder stronger and that’s a good thing to feel, to

know.

able to be confident in who you are without any regrets. tentatively stepping out of “the closet;” starting to tell others the truth. happiness as they accept, not caring if they don’t because i was born this way— and nothing anyone says will ever change that.

knowing deep inside you that you are who you are

—and accepting it—

is much more important than having someone else acknowledge it, accept it, be happy with it.

pride in who you are is the first and most important step to accepting yourself.

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Gender Confusion (A Reverse Poem)

SUMMARY: Genderfluid???? WORD COUNT: 150+

WARNINGS: Sounds transphobic kinda depending on the way you read it (which was intentional to show internalized transphobia, I didn’t mean to make it sound so mean but that’s there so-)

A/N: Another poem I wrote for school and had some cishet transphobic dude probably read it- but this poem took so long and was so hard to write, reverse poems are not fun-

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

why is my gender so complicated? i ask myself on a daily basis but most people don’t struggle with this

this is a path that i shouldn’t follow never will believe that i was born this way

i’m sometimes a girl, a guy, or something in between but that’s all a blatant lie the only gender that i can be is a girl

clothes don’t equal gender that’s what i was led to think, but it’s stupid to want to wear boy’s clothes better stick to the girl’s section

there is one specific way to live i should never believe that my gender is normal

i go against human nature it is dumb to ever think that i am perfect just the way i am

i should not have been “this way” i must fit the mold the world made, and i would never even think that I should have pride in being genderfluid

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Questioning

SUMMARY: We can all question our identity, and we shouldn’t be forced to fit into “the norm.” WORD COUNT: 200+

WARNINGS: Probably the only things are words that are stuff that queerphobic adults would say??

A/N: A poem I wrote for class :D And some cishet homophobic dude probably read it but yk, I’m fine (totally wasn’t terrified-)

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

wondering where you went wrong do we have to fit into society’s norms? to make them happy we forced ourselves to fit into a mold

you have to like that person because they are the opposite gender you have to wear this you’re only what you were born as

we listened to them, perfect little children since we thought we don’t know any better listen to your parents, to your teachers, they’re the adults, they know more

you can’t be different just be normal it doesn’t matter since it’s just a phase

but what if that’s not true? what if it’s different? what if we like someone else? what if we have a different gender?

people want us to be the same though we all live in a messed up world. think that we can’t change because they are so narrow-minded.

but we can change we don’t all have to be the same because diversity is important and should never be replaced

it doesn’t matter if we love someone of the same gender it doesn’t matter if we are not the gender we were assigned at birth

we all just want to live, love be happy and free and who is anyone to say that we should be sorry?

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Hurt

SUMMARY: What has the world come to, where the children are hurting because they aren’t understood, respected, helped? WORD COUNT: ~500

WARNINGS: Mentions/alludes to self-harm, suicide, alludes to Leelah Alcorn, probably transphobia and maybe homophobia

A/N: Adults need to get better, and as a 15.5 year old, I will support any younger people who relate to this (which, sadly, I know there are). You can always text me on @kazumify. I, and many other people of the queer community, are here for you.

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

I want to help them But I can’t They’re too far away I can’t do Anything

I see them hurting Want to hold them close They’re younger Older Children Adults But they all Suffer the same

The world wants to discriminate Male or female But some Don’t even fit into these categories

They fight hard Against their oppressors But they still get dragged down Because They’re obviously wrong They need to be categorized Into two Distinct Boxes

Boxes that they don’t even Fit into

A square trying to fit into A circular hole

She is hurting Kills herself In the middle of winter Her parents Didn’t listen to her

The world Forgot her message

Her message to make The world better It’s been years Is it better?

They say “it’s just a phase” “It’s just a new way of thinking” Ignoring the cultures Where this Is thought of As normal

They just want some way to Validate their Discrimination Pulling on religion Mostly Hurting themselves in The process

Telling a little kid that how they feel Is obviously wrong Because an adult always Knows best

Mother knows best, that’s a phrase “I birthed you, so I know everything” Children are forced To hide themselves away To act a certain way Because they fear Children fear Little children, the ones we Are supposed to protect To support They are scared Scared of what us What us older people Will think

Should we continue hurting them? Our words, so flippantly said Hurting their very soul Should we keep Hurting the next Generation?

They’re the ones that Are our future They’re only a couple years younger Than me, and maybe you But they know So much About the hurt The pain From such a young age

They don’t deserve this They don’t deserve this pain This hurt These thoughts That they are wrong When they are perfect The way they are

They shouldn’t be Laughed at For hurting themselves For the blood spilled from The blade As a reprieve from The scary thoughts

Young children Shouldn’t think Of killing themselves.

The suicide rate among This youth Should not Be this High.

It’s sad to see Scrolling through the news

Bans

“Protecting kids” when all they do is harm She can’t be called a she He’s not a real man They don’t want to choose

When there are adults —Adults over 20– Who think the same way Who feel the same way

This doesn’t only happen to Little children To teens who don’t know Any better

It happens to all of them They all know better Than you do

They know firsthand The pain of Being discriminated against Because of their identity

They can’t change it Although you may want them to They can’t change it To follow your standards

They won’t change it Just to follow the norm They will not change it So they can fake their own Happiness.

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Love

SUMMARY: What is love? WORD COUNT: 150+

WARNINGS: Nothing? I don’t think anything is really bad enough to say (if I said it, I’d draw unnecessary attention to the line-)

A/N: Uhm yeah late night thoughts :D

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

Love is That feeling Of happiness Joy Whenever you talk To someone else

Love is Playful fights Pushing each other around Affectionately Smiles and joy All around

Love is Doing things you don’t Particularly like Just so you Can see their smile

Love is Holding your pet close Whenever you’re feeling Sad And letting them Help you feel happier

Love is Fighting for your friends Whenever they cry Comforting them Not letting them Feel alone

Love is Inside jokes Laughing together Getting weird stares But you don’t care Because They don’t know what You’re talking about And that’s okay

Love is not Forced Compulsory Should not Be forced Because They carry The same blood As you

The most important type Of love Is the love That you Choose For yourself Whether in relationships Or friendships

The love between One chosen friend to Another Will be stronger Than a blood relationship Kept out of Obligation

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Thoughts

SUMMARY: My thoughts that I’m scared to say. Put into a poem. WORD COUNT: ~500

WARNINGS: Crippling sadness, rambling, worrying about love?? I don’t even know.

A/N: Did I get the ideas for this while in the shower because apparently that’s where I get all my good thoughts? Yes. Am I writing a poem because if I write it in actual text, I will probably sound so effing cringy? Yes. (Though I still do sound cringy but yk) This probably doesn’t even make sense because I didn’t read the whole thing through so it’s very choppy Anyways this feels way too personal as a person who rarely talks about their personal emotions (like, the deep ones) Maybe I should write poetry more often.

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

Am I an attention seeker? Am I too clingy?

Though I wonder Sometimes Why they stay

In a world full of pretty people Where they’re the prettiest of all Why would they stick With the most average of them all?

I’m not the funniest Or the smartest Not the prettiest Nor the best

I just try I’m a people pleaser I love seeing others happy And I’ll do anything -Anything- To see their smiles

People hurt me (But I just bare it) It’s not their fault But still I’m scared of falling again What if the same thing happens We fall out of love?

And though I know it’s normal Every person has felt it That loss of joy That you used to feel When you saw You got a notification

“It won’t happen this time” I told myself Yet it kept on happening Maybe I’m not As good at love Maybe I should just Wait I’m too young for this

But then they were there They were funny Sweet Always making me smile Every time though I shut It Out

Hoping this would disappear Because I promised myself No more love for me Not until I’m older Not until I’m wiser

I can accept that im pan Without dating anyone Right?

I craved the feel of a relationship Of having someone to hold Someone to love Someone to share all of My secrets to

Not just a best friend (Though they are precious too) Someone more intimate But that makes me wonder Am I now immature?

Seeing my peers date left and right Laughing, not taking it all seriously Was it so wrong of me To want something pure so desperately?

Or am I just craving love and attention? Do I actually deserve it at all? Love is complicated, that is for sure To be clear, to focus, I don’t think I can do

Maybe I am clingy Texting them, spamming them Maybe I should stop

But I know the feel I get When people text me Spam me And it’s a happy feeling I love the attention And I hope they do too

But I’m scared that I’m just trying To keep something going When nothing will work The relationship soon to be in ruins

I don’t want it to fail But I’m just afraid Afraid to fall again Hoping that they’re not doing it Out of pity Out of something they regret

I’m not The only person in the world For them But I still give my all Hoping Trying For a day That we can meet And I can love them In person

Without overthinking Look into their eyes And see, confirm That they do accept me That they do love me If only to put My shaking mind at rest

But only time will tell If this will go on And if my fear Won’t make it not last

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

You Can Stop Queerphobia

SUMMARY: A poem about how queerphobia affects people. WORD COUNT: ~200

WARNINGS: Queerphobia/homophobia/transphobia. That’s basically it.

A/N: Poetry that I wrote for this poetry contest for my school…The message was supposed to be positive and uplifting and stuff and obviously my dumb ass was like “Nah let me drag this poem down and then bring it up” so yeah- It’s so bad I’m sorry- A/N PART 2: Originally posted here.

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

“You got marriage,” they say, “isn’t that enough?” President thinks people like you are okay But just because this is true Doesn’t mean they can back away

Hate, harassment, hurt, bullying Fear to even go enroll Not wanting to hear the words That would soon break your soul

Quelling your anger, quelling your pain Trying to find calm to maintain Because you know, oh you think you know! You can’t do anything to change how people may crow

“Girls love guys, guys love girls,” they say “That’s a simple fact” What a sad so-called truth When you don’t fit in; just lost, out of place

Cyndi Lauper, Marsha Johnson, and Madonna People who helped make kids thrive Freddie Mercury, Lady Gaga, and Demi Lovato All singers helping queer youth survive

So you try, seeing happiness Hope in a new bill signed Gentle words uttered from a person’s mouth Acceptance, a loving hand in another Hugs, tears of joy

“Haters are gonna hate,” “Don’t be so weak” The words uttered, trying to drag you down But discrimination still awaits, So who’s to say a single person Can’t do anything to stop the hate?

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Series Masterlist

❦ Last updated: 05/21/23

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

All works are as gender-neutral as possible unless explicitly stated.

Any and all pictures are not by me unless otherwise stated. If you are the original creator of the image and are not comfortable with it being anywhere on my Tumblr, please contact me.

None at the moment

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Poems Masterlist

❦ Last updated: 11/21/23

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

All works are as gender-neutral as possible unless explicitly stated.

Any and all pictures are not by me unless otherwise stated. If you are the original creator of the image and are not comfortable with it being anywhere on my Tumblr, please contact me.

Being Queer Is Complicated

Yeah, being queer is complicated. But we can’t let that drag us down.

You Can Stop Queerphobia

A poem about how queerphobia affects people.

Thoughts

My thoughts that I’m scared to say. Put into a poem.

Love

What is love?

Hurt

What has the world come to, where the children are hurting because they aren’t understood, respected, helped?

Questioning

We can all question our identity, and we shouldn’t be forced to fit into “the norm.”

Gender Confusion (A Reverse Poem)

Genderfluid????

Not a Phase

My sexuality won’t change to fit your ideals.

Would This Still Have Happened?

He deserves someone better.

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Being Queer Is Complicated

SUMMARY: Yeah, being queer is complicated. But we can’t let that drag us down. WORD COUNT: 100+

WARNINGS: Uhh basically queerphobia in general? Basically transphobia and homophobia (at least it talks about that)

A/N: Another poem I wrote for that poetry contest… Lol. But this is the one that I didn’t send sooo- A/N PART 2: Originally posted here.

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

What’s normal? People telling you to be this way or that Gender, sexuality, everything in between Who am I?

I know who I like; I know who I am; The feelings spreading through me, a battering ram But I try, still I try I want to get it all out, out right now

Silently walking through the school hallways Slouched down, not wanting anyone to suspect Do I really want to stay this way? No; but how do I change?

Friends, love, relationships, all changing around me An ocean of emotions Trying to figure out my place

Slowly, it dawns; I’m not alone Others have walked this path before me, tried to let other people know Now I just have to let myself be free

Years ago, people couldn’t be themselves; now, they can People accepting, tears, happiness Smiles on their faces

So what does it matter that I don’t know who I am? What does it matter that I’m complicated? Because every single person is different And being “normal” was overrated anyway

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Rules

1. I am a minor. Please do not come to me requesting for explicit writing. Those people will be blocked and reported. I know there are writers who are adults who will write that sort of stuff, so by all means go to them.

2. Requesting a topic or scenario for any of my writing (whether it is a topic for a oneshot, something to add to a series, anything like that) is allowed, but not guaranteed. Please do not be offended if I do not write or include it. Having your own personal headcanons and sharing them with me is fine (I'd honestly love that).

3. Please don’t pressure me to keep writing; every once in a while is okay, but I have a life outside of Tumblr (high school wants to kill me). I usually lose interest very quickly in writing, so there's also that.

4. Blatant homophobia, racism, transphobia, misogyny, sexism, and basically any other DNI criteria will not be tolerated here. I may write things that discuss these topics, but if you, for example, hate gay people, please do not interact with me (to be honest if you check all of those boxes, I do count as gay, trans, Asian, born female, etc so uh. You'd hate me :D)

5. I will not write anything containing incest, adult x minor, huge age gaps, and anything like that for personal reasons. Please do not ask me to write things that contain (or especially romanticize) these topics.

6. Please don't follow if you're strictly an 18+ blog? Reading, liking, and reblogging are fine but I'd rather not have people who do not want minors on their blog following me (as, again, I am a minor).

If you’ve read these rules, please like this post!

[kazumiwrites-originalfics]

Masterlist

❦ Last updated: 05/21/23

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

Any and all pictures are not by me unless otherwise stated. If you are the original creator of the image and are not comfortable with it being anywhere on my Tumblr, please contact me.

Rules

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