lonelylanterns

[lonelylanterns]

Bleed

The sky was the color of flesh, the smoke burnt my eyes and choked my lungs. I dragged my feet across the ground, over the pile of corpses. Warriors scream and roar while slashing bodies one at a time, everyone losing account of what they are fighting for. On battlefields warriors are humans second, it is so easy to make someone immortal than to save them. Another enemy swings his sword at me as I intercept it and manage to immortalize him.

Across the field I catch a glimpse of Luke killing the enemy one at a time, he looked like a monster, those eyes who found hope in the stars were now filled with blood, the kid who cried after accidentally killing a beetle was now unfazed, oblivious of the sins burdening on his shoulder. I must look like a monster too, we all did. I noticed an archer taking aim to attack him from behind, he was so busy that he lost his guard. I screamed to make him aware but he was too consumed in the blood lust, too consumed to survive. I ran, I allowed my exhausted legs to carry me, I tried to scream again but the smoke was choking me, breathing was hard. The distance between us seemed to grow, perhaps the earth was punishing me.

In an instance the archer let go, and the arrow glided across the horizon finding its way to Luke, piercing his armor into his back. Eyes widened; I fell on my knees. It was then I heard a scream, a blood curling one. It was loud, I was unaware of where it was coming from until I felt needles piercing into my throat, it was me who was screaming. I felt I couldn’t breathe, but it did not matter. I allowed myself to scream until I no longer could. Eventually I made my way to him. How do you save someone whose soul death has decided to escort?

I vigorously shake his body holding on to the hopeless hope we all carry, “You cannot die, what about our pact? We promised our families. Get up…. please…wake up.” As I continued with my absurdity another horn blew, from our side. Proclaiming the end of the war. The remains were ugly, victory was unsettling.

Somehow, I found my way back home, allowed the cuts and bruises to heal, and funerals were held to depart the deceased. Greif covered everything, it was lingering in our childhood playground and it followed me back home every day. I could taste it in our favorite meal and smell it in the air. We both were young enough to sign above the dotted line to build a better life. I was young enough to try to build a better life, but nature began its curse, choking me every now and then with memories and nightmares. It declared another war that no one else could see, reminding me of the sins I have committed.

[lonelylanterns]

REKINDLE

I wonder how many words the world would never be able to read or listen to. How much art would never catch one’s eye? The art was burned or stolen by men because the artist were women with passion, dreams, and talent. The world lost jewels, it lost dreams. The stars and moon accompanied them through the creating process. They are grieving and so I am. The inscribed ink or paint is what my mind would never fathom because the art once existed and is now buried somewhere in ashes. Retrieve me those ashes, I want to learn the language of the fire. I want to revive those pieces and show them to the world.

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Don’t trust men and the history they narrate, I want to ask the women, but they are not alive. If only I could talk to them, reach them.- I can’t

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I sulk and stare at the moon. I ask her to unfold herself. Tell me everything. All the tears from the eyes of women, tell me the reality of the past that no one knows. Tell me about the women who stayed up late at night using the moonlight to create art. Hoping the world would see it. Tell me everything so I can rewrite history.

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As the moon pours out its burden dribbling the agony she carried. I notice the way she bleeds and hides her scars by shining brightly. I trace its depth and crack. Must be hard witnessing everything alone since forever.

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Don’t worry we are a generation fighting to bring a change, fighting for revenge for the women and girls in the past, hoping to give their souls peace. To inform them their hard work did not go to vain. We are fighting for a hopeful future for women and girls, so they do not have to be deprived of rights, hopes, and dreams. A struggle passed through generations, we are here, enraged and would not handle any more bullshit from men. Let’s create a typhoon, let us shake the earth to its core, and claim what has always been rightfully ours.

[lonelylanterns]

Sleep deprived rambles

Me: *wakes up from a long nap*

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Sibling:*signaling me* You are dead today, Mum is mad at you

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Me to my Mom: *knowing I must have cursed or said something bad that I do not remember when she tried waking me up thanks to my default feature*

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"Dearest Mother, I apologize for the crimes I have committed while being unconscious. it was never and never shall be my intention to disobey you. A simple apology would not be enough for the sin I carry. I understand what you are obliged to do. DISOWN ME IF YOU MUST. I shall bear the consequences on these withered shoulders."

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*Dramatic music cue*

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Mother wears a dark expression. Her eyes radiating emotions hard to fathom. It may be love, sadness, or simple disappointment in the child she brought into this world. An exasperated sigh leaves her. The burden of betrayal is cruel and heavy. She locks eyes with me and says in a deep low voice that resembles the red moon, "shut up."

[lonelylanterns]

Echoes of the Pyre

We all have wings,

I had too filled with beauty and glamour.

Their silhouette shone in the dark and lustered under the morning sun.

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We all love to fly because it is only human to do so.

As a child, I was told to learn to fly and make the universe my playground,

So I did,

But as I grew up I was told the sky's the limit.

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There was discrimination between genders,

A foolish stereotype, good women do not fly high

Oh so idiotic!

The few strong women of that time who fiercely flew,

Were often wounded.

Not by the sun or the rain,

But by a foolish doltish society.

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As a rebellious person, I was and am.

I snuck out at night and allowed my wings to lead me,

The world below was so small, all the worries too trivial.

The darkness radiated hope, the wind sang melodies.

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Why did they hide this from us?

Men don’t own the sky.

But it is not just that easy,

Icarus flew into the sky only for his wings to burn by the sun,

It is said he died a gruesome death.

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What they don’t tell you is,

That he laughed as he fell.

Throwing his head back, arms spread wide.

As there is a bitter triumph in crashing when you should be soaring.

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Oh how I wish I fell to my death due to my absurdity,

But instead, I was dragged to my first death by chains placed by society.

Slashed wings, shackles as anklets, blistered fingers.

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If you die when you first crash on earth, it is no fun.

Because there is beauty in fighting,

In not giving up and staring right at faces who wish death upon you.

To smile at them right after they scorch your wings,

There is beauty in setting the world on fire and watching from the center.

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They think burning our dreams means they turn to ashes.

What an imbecile remark!

What you do in actuality, is create a fire imperishable.

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picture credit:

Non embellished ethereal wings VI by Jennifer Goldberger

Carl Gustav Carus

[lonelylanterns]

Patroclus: Okay, you're saying Achilles married you?

Deidameia: Oh yeah, we're hitched all right. Till death do us part.

Achilles: [tying a rope] Mhm, I'm working on it...

Patroclus: ACHILLES NO

[lonelylanterns]

Achilles: I gave Agamemnon a get well soon card

Odysseus: That's surprisingly nice of you

Achilles: He's not sick I just think he should do better

[lonelylanterns]

Mark my existence...

I ask myself if my existence leaves trails. Do the birds that appear on my window periodically come to check up on me. I wonder if they go back to their families, spilling the mysteries of my entity. Expanding the traces of my being, leaving marks. Every morning do the flowers in my garden wait for me to come to them? To admire their beauty that allows my soul to be filled with glee. Does the moon peak into my house when I do not come to greet her, to pour out all the hate I have been carrying. Did it sulk, missing the way I talked to her, dribbling all the secrets no soul is ever aware of? Did it wait for me patiently, or asked the stars to search for me across the earth? Is my absence grieved upon?

I am a beautiful mess, occasionally I erupt. When it does happen I let myself bleed. Imagining the blood to smell like lavender. I stare at my ceiling, promising myself, this shall pass. I choke the monsters who appear and leave a black rose as a memorial. They are still a part of me, I have too many of them that I have forgotten which one is the real me. So to the things that miss me, if they do. Which one is the real me, the one you love? Can you identify?

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Image Credits

Dutch Boats in a Gale (the Bridge water sea piece)-J.M.W. Turner

Rousseau, Theodore- the little bridge in the forest-torc waterfall Ireland by paula ryam

Ivana Lena besevic - art staton

Eugene bidau (1863-1909)

Glen Brown

[lonelylanterns]

A Dying Dream

I open my eyes and find myself at the side of a lake. The same one near my childhood home. I must be dreaming, but this seems as real as the cool air that brushes my face embracing me with the same enthusiasm as always. The tall grass dancing to the rhythm of the wind whilst nameless sparrows sing their melodies. The horizon is a faint shade of yellow because the clouds are enveloping the sun’s rays. Far in the distance, I can see my home and the little swing in the front yard. My lips turn into a smile. I keep gazing around breathing in the smell of nature until I see my hands. They are tiny and the skin on them is soft with a shade of pink, I touch my face the skin there is smooth with no wrinkles. I am in my young body. As a giggle escapes my mouth, I hop around with glee finally being able to feel my legs again. My lungs finally inhale fresh air rather than from oxygen cylinders. Even though this is just a movie played by my conscience, I adore all these sensations with my whole heart.

A frog comes in front of me as my memory reminds me how Skylar and I used to collect small frogs to scare our Mums. This lake, this village gives multiple varied feelings. It was the place where I learned what fun was and the beauty of friendship. Skylar and I used to make paper boats, collect all sorts of insects and worms, grow flowers, and have tea parties with our toys. On the other hand, my memories drift to the loneliness and grief I felt here. After Skylar passed away, all that was left was pain and sorrow. It was hard when she left this lake became a place that held memories which turned into demons that haunted me. The 8-year-old me who barely knew what death was had to suffer from the pain of losing a loved one. Walking on this trail every day with a lump in my throat and carrying a heavy heart. Wiping away the tears from my cheeks, my eyes catch Skylar crouching at the bank of the lake trying to get a hold of her paper boat which is far from her reach. This must be before she passed away. I wave at her but her vision is focused on the paper boat not grasping my presence. I decide to walk to her and hold a conversation unable to fathom how a 70-year-old soul would converse with an 8-year-old, but I miss her. So I half walk half gallop my way towards her as euphoria wash over me.

I see her little figure wearing a mint green dress and her red hair braided neatly in two pigtails. While struggling to get hold of the paper boat in an instance she loses her balance and falls into the lake, she begins to scream for help and move her hands and kick her feet around to stay afloat. My eyes widen witnessing this as panic holds me in its clutches. With that, a spell locks me in its curse as my legsrefuse to move. I have to help her, she cannot die; I move my legs which seem to be stuck on the ground. With whatever energy I had I sprint with all my might. My heart races as tears flow endlessly. I scream her name as these little legs carry me. Running on the trail I stumble over a rock crashing on the ground and bruising my knee. Without a second thought, I get up and continue sprinting towards Skylar ignoring the throbbing pain in my knee.

I notice Skylar starting to slowly lose her energy struggling to stay afloat. As I finally reach her without even giving myself a chance to catch my breath I lower myself down and reach out my hand for her to grab onto. Seeing me relief fall over her as she tries to reach my hands but our short arms do not allow this to work. "Hold on for a second I'll find another way!" I scream. As in horror and dread, I try to find some other solution. Her screams Ezra save me! Echo in my mind as I lose the ability to think. My eyes fell on a stick resting on the ground, it was not really long but was the only thing my body decides to grab. I lower it for Skylar to grasp but she fails. I cannot let this happen, my entire childhood was ruined because this one day I didn’t come to play. All I ever wished was to play with her once more and have a proper goodbye.

As I notice Skylar slowly losing consciousness, with no other choice in mind I take a deep breath close my eyes and jump into the lake. The cold water sends shivers down my spine. I open my eyes as the dusty shade of blue comes into view. The water burns my eyes but I keep them open. Looking around I find Skylar's lifeless body slowly sinking deeper. I move my legs and hand simultaneously swimming towards her. I slap her cheeks and take her name to wake her up. Little consciousness seeps into her, relief washes over me instantly I proceed to grab her exhausted body from under her arms to get her to the surface. With all the energy my soul could exert from this fragile body, I drag Skylar to the shore and push her to the surface. Succeeding in doing so, I lay my hand out for her to help me get out of the lake as well. While coughing for air, drenched in water with a cold pale face she reaches her hand out. As soon as her numb fingers caress against mine something from the water grabs my legs and pulls me. I let out a blood-curdling scream while my body sinks. All I could hear was Skylar's faint scream saying, “I'll meet you on the other side"!

The black shadow strengthens its claws pulling me deeper into an abyss. Where is the other side? The sun which illuminated the water begins disappearing, the blue hues fade into a pitch-black void. The sound of water against my ear starts to fade as it emerges into muffled sounds. I try to open my eyes, a blurry vision appears. The plain white sealing welcomes me again, with doctors hovering over me, machines beeping endlessly marking the end of my journey. With distress spread all around somehow my mind is filled with tranquility and serenity. This is the end but fear does not surround me at all. People in white gowns desperately trying to save me but I blithely accept my fate with no regrets. The other side awaits and I will have my long-lost friend to welcome me. Death only seems a portal towards an eternal friendship filled with bliss. So death, I embrace you with open arms. Goodbye.

[lonelylanterns]

I FEEL SICK

A little secret, but don’t tell anyone.

I feel sick, always.

I feel like throwing up because my stomach cannot handle the news,

Every day women are being murdered, killed, raped.

My hands are trembling because I realized what I have been through.

My mind is racing, telling me I need to learn martial arts.

Try running, in case you have to run away from an abuser.

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I need to survive in this world, I was told to wait for a prince on a white horse,

But that is all bullshit.

Save yourself, no one cares.

You are a woman, something weak.

So I wrapped myself with iron shields just to prove them wrong.

I started hating pink, it’s for the weak, isn’t it?

But whatever I do I am exposed to danger in every corner of my existence.

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I began hating any sort of touch.

My parents talked to me, told me not to hug other people.

I remember their voice was stern, they meant not to hug people except them,

But I stopped hugging them too.

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My heart aches as I realize the people who are supposed to love me see me as a burden.

I feel lost when someone talks about a hopeful future,

All I see is grey.

Grey horizon, empty skies, vacant heart.

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I locked my heart, holding onto this thin silk sheet of humanity that is slipping away.

I will keep walking on this path, I know how to light a fire.

But you can’t light a fire in a blizzard.

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Every month my uterus bleeds.

Ensuring I am healthy,

But every night I spit blood.

All the hatred I receive against my gender,

Erupting, It makes me dizzy.

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I feel empty.

Maybe because I haven’t had dinner,

I am choking on the comments made by my dear ones.

I stand here alone staring at the night sky, distanced myself from everyone.

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People around me have a bit of poison in them, it is called misogyny.

But oh how they roll their eyes, it is just a topic for them.

A privilege they hold dear to.

At those moments my legs give up,

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I remain there still, wearing an expression that says nothing

But I promised myself to remain strong

Within these iron walls if you ever feel lonely, suck it up

Just throw me in the river and see how I don’t fight to stay afloat

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I am sick, but don’t help me

[lonelylanterns]

I had my shit together once

I think I was like 5

[lonelylanterns]

what element writer are you?

water writer

just like water, you carry your readers in a new world, and they just can’t do anything but follow. your poetic writing allures the readers in with beautiful words, just for them to find themselves on the deepest oceans floors, where you make them taste pain in its sweetest form. water writers are the gentlest liars, they show the readers a small stream, and no one can see the waterfall at the end. if you were a tag, you would definitely be ‘Everything is Beautiful But Everything Hurts’. cliffhangers are one of your strong points that, mixed with your incredible versatility, make you a great writer. your stories have a deep meaning, and never miss to leave traces on your readers hearts. you don’t limit yourself, you like to explore the deepest parts in the human soul, and that’s why readers can sometimes find MCD in your stories. your endings tend to be sad or open, and your stories have the power to drag your readers with you, from the highest waves of a storm, and to the darkest secrets of the ocean.

this feels like the highest compliment i ever received when i honestly feel like a 4-6/10 writer :’)

tagging: @kitastowel @haikyuutothetop @amjustagirl @forgetou @luvnami @kohi-zeri @violetsoju @throughtheinterstices @moondaius @yacoka + anyone else who wants to try it !!

[lonelylanterns]

Warm Like Stardust

It is hard having a warm heart in a cold world. Your heart is warm filled with empathy, love, and sympathy. It contains all the essence this world lacks. You are one of the very last beings who have been living this long without evolving into having a cool heart. But it is hard, isn’t it? The world has screwed you over thousands of times but you stood there taking a deep breath allowing the cool air to calm down yourself. You thought to yourself, it is okay I am this kind person the world needs me the world lacks this power I have to feel and sympathize so I will keep going because you thought if you let go of this.

The part that you identify yourself with will also be gone. All that would be left is an empty can. Today here you stand your eyes brimming with tears. What was it this time? Friendship, relationship, or your family? You stand there staring deep into your eyes in the shop window reflection. Deep within your eyes, you see a hidden beast you have been taming for too long. You could unleash it but you don’t want it to hurt the people you love no matter what. You know the beast inside you is capable of greater things it can slaughter this whole city within a few minutes. “What is stopping you, hun?“ I say.

“A stupid thing called values,” you reply without even looking towards me.

“Oh really, how useless,” I say with a scoff.

“I am sorry I am not like you, I can learn to draw boundaries and learn to be fulfilled by myself but maybe these emotions these values are for a reason, for something I cannot fathom. That beast is a part of me I accept it and will use it when necessary, but I can’t let it take over me,”

In that tone is it anger filled in every word, or is it pain?

With flowing tears, you hastily walk away to hide your face from me. So all this is that promise you made to yourself at a young age when you witnessed the horrible world you live in. You don’t deserve any of that pain. You are the most lovable person I ever met. I would love to embrace you and give the whole world just to see those eyes smiling, and no I was not a cold beast I was very much like you and that part exist in me as well. I just want to protect you, like I have been since you were young, but I think you know how to do that now. A grin on my face appears as I see you walking away, the cold heavy fog enveloping you. Good luck then I will get going. See you on the other side.

[lonelylanterns]

Tada...

A: *recording* People need drugs to get high but B needs a cup of caffeine with 5 spoons of sugar.

B: *running up to every tree and giving it a hug* APPRECIATE TREES PEOPLE! .

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A: I always wanted to take those ancestry DNA tests.

B: You will be disappointed.

A: Why?

B: Cuz then you can no longer blame genes for your incompetence.

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A: The moon is beautiful.

B: What is moon has alien bases on it who spy on us and the only reason we adore this rock is because they have cast a spell on it.

A: uh you on crack?

B: IT IS ALL PART OF THEIR ELABORATE PLAN!

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A: Love is fake.

B: *mad because they disagree* You are fake....

A: Yes bun we live in a simulation, what do you expect.

[lonelylanterns]

Once upon a time there was a happy little girl, then she grew up and turned into a monster...

What the story failed to mention was that way deep down, she still had a good heart, and what happens when you have a good heart in such a cruel world? She was broken beyond repair, she was scared of the real world, on the betrayal she’s felt time after time for trusting people, so she pushed everyone and everything away and became what she thought would protect her from the pain. She needed to be loved not to be strong and that’s when she realized... The world is such a cruel place for a pure heart like hers.

[lonelylanterns]

I HOPE

We wake up every day staring at the same sky looking at the same moon at night. Seeking hope, that is me. Yes, I am hope, I am neither an angel nor a demon. My existence is hard to explain but what I do is simple. I sprinkle stardust on everyone. Many creations like us exist, our purpose is to give hope to others but the catch is I can only sprinkle the stardust catching and embracing them is onto the souls.

Every day I see souls suffering silently, some have the thoughts of leaving this world, others draw on their skin with blades, some starve, some suffer quietly without even a hint. Everyone abuses their body to give themselves pain resembling what they feel inside, but I wonder even if they think cutting their lifeline would be an escape from this hideous world wouldn’t the soul still suffer? It hurts me seeing precious hearts giving up on their life, dreams everything. Oh, the amount of stardust I ensure is around them but I understand it is hard. I want to hug them, be their friend, bring them ice cream, etc.

I am glad I got to say something here if I could say anything to a human it would be okay, you are doing amazing. Hope for being happy or anything it is there it has always been there I am here to you aren't alone, hope has never abandoned you nor it ever will.

[lonelylanterns]

We say social butterfly but butterflies ain't social.

[lonelylanterns]

Hi, you will regret following me :)