malspoetry

[malspoetry]

I have this strange feeling posting on Tumblr after not for awhile it's giving me anxiety reminding me of my old patterns

probably deleting Tumblr :/

[malspoetry]

Was looking pretty in Walmart and someone asked for my Tumblr.

digital footprint smacked me in the behind

might delete all the depressing stuff idk

[malspoetry]

here's the show where I talk to my phone while baked please check it out

[malspoetry]

Nothing compares to the fever dream

Dissipate the hours with whatever I can

Identical days pass me by

but there is time to kill today

[malspoetry]

watching myself from outside my body and wondering what went wrong

when I look in the mirror I don't recognize the girl covered in red lines staring back at me

[malspoetry]

My crack baby, life is so unfair

I hope for us all to find peace of mind

[malspoetry]

I keep reminding myself nothing tastes as good as skinny feels

I can go a little while longer

[malspoetry]

I'm falling down so fast

I watch the blood seep out

nothing matters anymore

[malspoetry]

I look into the distance with the same sullen look in my eyes

I want to cvt open my thighs until I feel better

[malspoetry]

I'm starving myself and my thighs are cut up

my body hates me

I hate me too

[malspoetry]

she said it was out of her control

but I'll always know she didn't really want to stay with me

[malspoetry]

as things progress I add a new line to my body and cry realizing how deep I am into this

[malspoetry]

I love the cherry colored lines on my thigh

[malspoetry]

I laugh but the feeling doesn't go to the brain

trying to fill the void with whatever I can find

as I drag the blade through my thigh I feel the release

I watch the blood seep out

[malspoetry]

It feels like shit to know that you're the problem

while everyone tries to help me I screw up everything

I make everyone's lives so difficult

[malspoetry]

a few pills in I wonder if I should take more

a couple more in I start to think about life

I hate myself I deserve it

ten later and I wonder if this is it

I can't sleep and there's spiders everywhere

my dresser is melting

[malspoetry]

Lost in the world

I feel so lost in the world

I can blame this all on being young

but there is time to kill today

I took way more than the recommend dosage

as I'm watching the spiders go by

I lay in bed thinking "what if this is the last time I wake up"

I think about the little girl who started scratching her legs

the little girl who would hit her head

the little girl that pulled her hair

that little girl never stopped