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niahq · 6 months

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Definitely, for a film that was about tragedy, disaster, and death it revolved too much around the romantic tension between a university student that’s close to graduating and a high school student that’s not even in her last year…. The film was lovely, in its own way, of course.

But I think it could have been truly moving and heart wrenching if they ACTUALLY focused on grief and tragedy, how loss and trauma affects relationships. This could’ve been a film about loss and grief, traversing grief together and mourning a family member while trying to rebuild connections, all the while having to acknowledge that disaster may strike again at any moment.

If it explored the mother-daughter connection between Tamaki and Suzume it would have been an entirely different film that spoke to thousands of people who have gone through similar losses in their famlies. The constant struggle to rebuild oneself and get along with this new parent; having to accept that your loved one died, that things are gonna change and they’re always gonna be different, feeling guilt over forming a new connection (motherly in this case) while also needing it, the new connection (Tamaki) having to make sacrifices in order to shelter what she has left of her sister, struggling to get along because of grief, sacrifices and guilt, not knowing how to open up but also loving each other, etc. It could’ve been an extraordinarily heart wrenching movie.

so i watched suzume. . .

And it was good—the animators, vas, musicians, and other talented people who worked on this film deserve so much praise for their work.

On the other hand (and this is a purely personal exercise that isn't meant to detract from Makoto Shinkai's vision for the piece), I think the overall theme of the film might have been better served if the story centered on the ups and downs of Suzume's relationship with her aunt Tamaki, rather than Souta.

Suzume is very much a story about grief—set against the tragedy of the 2011 tohoku earthquake, Suzume's personal struggle with the loss of her mother is arguably our entryway into understanding how this tragedy continues to shape the relationship between Japan’s very geography, its history, and its people.

I believe that central to this narrative focus is Suzume’s complicated relationship with Tamaki, her mother’s sister, who raised Suzume for much of her life after the loss of Suzume's mother. For me, one of the most important moments of Suzume and Tamaki’s relationship is shown at the climax of their disagreements with each other. After being Suzume's sudden departure from their small town (partially out of that rebellious teenage desire to not be "suffocated" by Tamaki's presence; we'll get to Souta’s role in this later) and Tamaki's understandable worry about Suzume's wellbeing (which leads her to embark on a wild goose chase after Suzume, though we’re not shown much of Tamaki’s personal journey), Tamaki yells at Suzume while the two are at a rest stop with Souta’s friend Serizawa. Tamaki bitterly states that raising Suzume after her sister's death had been a suffocating burden on her as well, as she couldn't find love and live the life that she had wanted because of her responsibility. This leads Suzume to shrink back in disbelief, as she recalls a pivotal memory where, after wandering in a snowstorm in search of her mother (and encountering the Ever After), she is found by Tamaki, who cries and affirms that Suzume will always be her daughter. It's a heartbreaking scene. We can empathize with both characters—Suzume is closer in age to most viewers, and we know that she doesn’t really hate her aunt’s presence, as the stress of her chase after Daijin and Souta’s temporary “demise” has whittled away at her emotions. Similarly, we can imagine that Tamaki herself likely hasn't overcome her grief at losing her sister, and that her outburst wasn’t truly genuine—she does love Suzume, but she wants her adoptive daughter to understand the sacrifices she had made, because she had no one else to confide in or rely on. We anticipate that this is the emotional crux of the movie, showing the relationship of a surrogate mother to a child who has gone through deep, unresolved trauma, now burdened with the consequences arising from the "imbalances" of the spirit world, itself a metaphor for the turbulence of living and of losing.

. . .and then the movie doesn't do anything with this scene. It's suddenly cut short with the random appearance of the keystone Sadaijin, and any lingering tension from that scene is resolved offscreen, with Tamaki and Suzume regaining each other's trust in the next scene. It feels unearned and deeply unsatisfying, especially when the emotional core of the film then gets transplanted onto Suzume's emotional relationship with Souta, a college-aged man whom she has known for less than a week (Suzume, by the way, is in high school, and even if they don’t “get together” in the movie, it makes me a bit uncomfortable seeing someone who is implied to be in their twenties being the implied romantic interest for a seventeen-year-old).

So, I thought, what if the movie kept its cast of characters, and the general sequence of events, but instead of Souta being the one cursed by Daijin to be the keystone (an act that initiates the film's events), it was Tamaki? This is going to be broken up into a few reblogs since it's too long for one post, but here's how I would structure it. (Part 1 of 2, and with a lot of my own hc interactions)

The beginning of the film can stay the same, including Souta's appearance. however, the driving force for Suzume to go to the isolated spot where the first door is located is an argument with Tamaki, rather than her implied curiosity regarding Souta. Perhaps, in this fight, we see bits of Tamaki's personality that may come across as "suffocating" to a teenager, even if she meant well.

Suzume, bothered by Tamaki's presence and the dream that she had of wandering through the Ever After, goes to this isolated spot to get away from everything, which is where she encounters the door and Daijin. Perhaps she's sulking a bit, and makes some sarcastic remark about someone like Souta being able to travel (something that would show her interest in leaving the small town she currently lives in). She then opens the door, Daijin escapes, and she goes about her day as in the film, until the worm appears above the skyline.

She then runs back to the door, where she encounters Souta again. They close the door, and Souta explains what he does and what the door represents. She brings Souta back to their house for medical treatment (except without any of the weird romantic tension between them), and they begin talking about Suzume’s life (perhaps about her room, the chair, and her dreams, as Suzume imagines the kinds of dangers—and thrills—that come with Souta’s position as a Closer).

This is where Tamaki comes back into the story. Tamaki, returning early to check on Suzume and encountering Suzume and Souta together, thinks the worst and begins to berate Suzume. They get into another argument, with Souta trying to calm the two down. Suzume, already stressed from the day's events, wishes that she can be "free" of Tamaki.

This is when Daijin appears on the windowsill, shit-eating grin and all, and says something along the lines of "Ok, Suzume. I can do that—because you're just like me." And then Tamaki is suddenly turned into a chair.

The same chaos ensues, with Tamaki, Souta, and Suzume chasing after Daijin until they get on the ferry. This is where Souta can give some more exposition, saying that he's never encountered this before, while encouraging Tamaki and Suzume to try and come together as he figures the whole thing out. Perhaps this is also the time where we get more information about Souta's personal life (in this version, it is information about his desire to become a teacher, as well as info about his relationship with his own mother, who was killed during a dangerous mission she took on as a Closer.)

The trio continue chasing after Daijin, with the group splitting up by necessity (thus allowing Tamaki and Suzume to have more screentime together). Specifically, Souta finds out that another door is opening off the path of travel they are taking after Daijin, and he instructs Tamaki and Suzume to continue their journey while he takes care of the other door. Before he leaves, he gives Suzume another key he keeps in his possession, which he reveals belonged to his mother.

Suzume and Tamaki continue onwards and meet Chika, the girl on the motorcycle. Suzume and Tamaki then cooperate in closing the door opened by Daijin. In this version, I think it would be interesting if Daijin is actually actively opening doors, not simply leading the pair to doors that are about to open. This serves as a huge bonding moment for Suzume and Tamaki, as they previously couldn’t go a day without arguing over the best way to do things.

Suzume and Tamaki stay at Chika's place (and have the downtime with Chika that is shown in the movie), except Suzume's dialogue with Tamaki consists of her confessing that she is jealous of Chika's independence and the bustling atmosphere at Chika's home. Tamaki is initially angered by this, but gradually calms down in her “chair corner” as she sees Suzume and Chika having fun, perhaps even reminding Tamaki of her own childhood with her sister.

When Tamaki falls asleep, she sees visions of her sister, which both frightens and immobilizes her (i.e. literally her survivor’s guilt “anchoring” her in place). This is meant to replace how Souta gradually descends into his “death” when he sleeps.

Suzume and Tamaki head off and are picked up by Rumi, the mother who works at the hostess bar. Initially, Tamaki whispers to Suzume that she doesn’t want Suzume hitchhiking with a stranger, but Suzume tells her that sometimes they need to rely on others to get by. The same comedy shenanigans with Rumi’s children can be kept in—I think it’s more fitting that Tamaki plays the role of the “toy chair that can speak” in order to keep the children entertained, because she probably, after all, raised Suzume on similar silly stories.

Suzume and Tamaki run to the abandoned fairgrounds to close the other door when the worm appears. I think this scene becomes more impactful when Tamaki is the chair and not Souta, as her decision to save Suzume from falling from the Ferris wheel and letting Daijin go would highlight her parental worry for Suzume, though perhaps this isn’t fully realized by Suzume in the midst of her adrenaline rush. Suzume, however, does look upon the fairground as a place that she wants to go to with Tamaki, when all of this is over, though she keeps this to herself.

Suzume, watching Rumi work her shift as a hostess, comes to appreciate the struggles of being a mother more. Similarly, Tamaki wants to connect with Rumi as a peer, but is limited by her chair form. Seeing Suzume bond with Rumi makes Tamaki want to be there for Suzume, as she sees Suzume slowly maturing into her own person. However, neither Suzume nor Tamaki feel ready to fully open up about these nuanced feelings, as they fall instead into a comical back-and-forth when they’re alone.

Suzume and Tamaki manage to get to Tokyo, where they meet up with Souta. He tells them that he’s been doing whatever research he can to try and figure out how to break Tamaki’s curse. This is where he can explain the keystone lore to Suzume and Tamaki.

The giant worm starts appearing over the city. Tamaki insists that Suzume get out of Tokyo. Souta agrees, and tells Suzume and Tamaki to leave, stating that he can handle the worm himself. Suzume refuses, stating that she’s not going to let anyone else die—the “else” implying that she too still feels survivor’s guilt over her mother’s death.

Despite Souta’s attempts at reasoning with her, Suzume is adamant on staying—Daijin appears and mocks her, telling her that she only knows how to let her aunt dictate how she lives. Suzume rushes ahead without Souta and Tamaki. Tamaki and Souta chase after Suzume, with Tamaki yelling at Suzume again, calling her “rash”, "always making her worry and chase after her," and “thinking and behaving like a child”.

Perhaps Suzume covers her ears, as Tamaki’s words begin to blend into Daijin’s laughter as he scrambles towards the worm. Perhaps Suzume screams out loud, screaming that she felt as though Tamaki had never believed in her, that even when an entire city is threatened, Tamaki cares only about herself, and knows only how to chastise and suffocate Suzume. This shocks Tamaki, but before she can respond, the trio are shot up to the worm’s back, and Souta attempts to seal the worm. However, Daijin interferes and Souta is injured. Suzume then tries to grab Daijin, only for Daijin to purr contentedly and state that he understands what Suzume is feeling—that is why Tamaki will now be the keystone, and both of them can be free.

Suzume turns to Tamaki, only to find that she is unresponsive. Ice is forming around her, as Suzume’s words echo over and over in her mind. Perhaps Tamaki then screams in grief as she sinks deeper into her regret and memories of her sister—that is when we get her screams about how much she had sacrificed for Suzume, and how much happiness Suzume took from her (basically what she said during the rest stop confrontation).

(pt 1 end)

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niahq · 6 months

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I wanna see if you'd ever do gender neutral versions of your wattpad stories?

I read them when I was still comfortable with the pronouns, but as for now I'm not anymore. I really like The dragon and the fox. Just wondering.

Hiii omg I never thought I’d get one of these through tumblr. I’m so glad you enjoy the naruto one, it’s my fave.

In the future, I’d def like to. I’m genderfluid/nonbinary myself so I totally get it, it’s just a time issue.

I’d like to release a neutral version once the fic is completed. But it’s definitely a loong time away from now, sorry.

I just dont have the time for writing fics I used to in high school.

#wattpad #fanfic #naruto

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niahq · 6 months

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Warming up engines, oiling the cogs. Wattys 2024 deadline: August. Back to writing. See u in wattpad soon friends.

An entirely new 1st part approaches.

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niahq · 7 months

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So based on the internet this is the consensus on the atla live action series:

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niahq · 7 months

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Same and more. Overall writing was so dull. It lacked the complexity and depth of the original.

My views on the atla live action (6.8 out of 10)

What I liked about atla live action:

Zuko, aang, iroh, monk Gyasto and jets actors really knocked the ball out the park so far

I liked how they showed that there were people in the fire nation who fought back regarding resisting the war, and how azula went undercover to expose them. That scene showed not all fire benders were bad or agreed to the war due to the loss of lives

I liked how they portrayed monk gyasto and his bond with aang.

The scene with the earth kingdom soldier, iroh and the scene with Lieu ten was amazingly done. It really captured how loss happened on both sides, while showcasing more of who lieu ten was as a person and also Zuko’s kind nature towards Iroh

Iroh joining Zuko on the boat after his banishment was a beautiful scene

Issues

Aang meeting kyoshi too early and learning about the attack on the northern water tribe which he shouldn’t know

Suki and sokkas romance didn’t develop over sokka learning from his sexism. It takes away from their development

Azula didn’t bend or fight enough. Also Ozai hated Zuko and adored azula but here it seems azula is fighting for his approval? It takes away from her character. She had it ALL and Zuko didn’t. Also ozai did not care if zuko discovered aang he just wanted him to suffer. He hated his son but in this version they make it seem like he cares?

Aang isn’t training enough at all. We only see katara training on her waterbending but she trained with aang too. In the series it focuses more on aang going to the northern water tribe rather than learning the elements and helping others along the way.

Kataang needed more moments. So far they only had a few but I liked the one they shared in the final episode

Sokka seems to not like aang? It seems like he’s only there for his own benefit when in the original he warms up to aang.

Ozai learning of aangs existence too early on makes it less easy for aang to travel on his journey.

Aang and sokka didn’t meet Jet

The meaning of the cave of two lovers didn’t make sense. Also it didn’t help aang as he was not there to learn more about the badger moles and earth bending. Plus he kissed katara there, so that love development is gone.

Wan shi tong shouldn’t be there in book 1 and sokka and katara shouldn’t be in the spirit world

Where is Appa and momo? They barely are shown. If they were pets with zero presence I wouldn’t mind but in this series they are apart if the show but the live action doesn’t showcase them enough.

No Jeong Jeong ? he was a huge character regarding the use of fire plus aang had trauma fire bending. Will he still show up in the future if this is renewed?

Azula shouldn’t lose her cool she seems like she’s already cracking and that’s not her character. She is perfect and that breaks her in book 3. Not book 1. Also her fire is not blue.

Aang is a bit too focused on being the avatar i wish it wasn’t so strong at times

Why is the fog of lost souls showing up in atla?

Rokus erased as aangs guide isn’t the best change since he’s tied to the reason why the war happened. Also he links to zukos bloodline and struggle of good and evil.

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niahq · 7 months

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Thought the exact thing. Speedran the series only point out how many complaints I got about the writing. It’s fantastic visually, but the writing is poor.

So I had to stop on episode 6. Gonna continue watching tonight. I just have one thing to say so far. People think a good adaptation is the one that follows the story of the original. It’s not. It’s the characters. The characters are the ones that made the original so good. And none of them are as fleshed out here. You cannot seriously tell me the katara you see in the original is the one you see in the live action.

The writers decided to take the struggle and the growth of the characters away. I’m on episode 6. So far, Aang had everything come so easy to him, he didn’t struggle at all. Kyoshi fought for him at Kyoshi island. He enters the spirit world so easily, he finds Roku so freaking fast, he immediately knows Hei Bai is the spirit of the forest, out of nowhere. He learns absolutely nothing through those 6 episode. I could talk for hours about how that scene with Gyatso was a cop out. Why should their main character suffer right? He shouldn’t. So they just make up a scene where Aang meets Gyatso and he just outright tells him there’s nothing he could have done so he shouldn’t feel guilty.

The OG never had that scene. Because the OG knew the audience was smart enough to realize it themselves. There was nothing Aang could have done if he hadn’t run away, he would have died. But Aang needs to realize this himself, he needs to confront his feelings, learn from his mistakes, forgive himself and move on. But these days, writers don’t want their characters going through a journey, nope, the characters are just perfect, from the beginning to end.

Same said for Zuko. The writers apparently decided to make him softer, have higher morals, not as angry or determined, because that would make Zuko complex and interesting. He was good at heart in the OG show too, but he was spoiled and angry and violent. He’s none of that here, he’s gentle and respectful to everyone and just wants to capture the avatar, but not too much though. Zuko doesn’t even give everything he has to capture Aang, he doesn’t hire pirates, he doesn’t hire June himself (Iroh has to convince him to do it), he doesn’t follow Aang into the fire nation, you don’t feel his desperation, his determination, just how much he wants to go home. How could his journey feel interesting when we don’t see the dramatic shift in his character? The most interesting character in the show is not as ineteresting when he doesn’t go from a spoiled angry hurt teenager to an honorable smart and compassionate young man.

Yes, the story is fine, the visuals are nice, but it’s all very surface level. Everything is just flat.

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niahq · 7 months

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Happy Valentines. Im still single.

Haha

Aceness

Um guys. Fellow aroaces.

How the fuck do you find people to date?

Seriously, what f secret am I missing here?

I want love so badly.

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niahq · 7 months

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Stop reading my mind. I want romance so bad but the grayaceness is making it so difficult. It’s like a darts game, but you’re blind, you don’t know where the target is and you’re throwing pins instead of darts.

Being graysexual is cool and all until you find an exception to your general-asexual-ness™ and you do not know what to do with yourself so you just ✨️panic✨️

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niahq · 8 months

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Thinking of how badly I want this person.

One day we accidentally have the same idea:

After some hours of editing, I put aside the keyboard and look at the clock; 2:30pm. My partner will be back soon, after his shift at the company is done. The last weeks have been tiring for them.

I have time to spare. I walk to the florist, buy their favorite. I walk back and step back in. I notice their shoes by the door and their figure busy in the kitchen, a bouquet of tiger lillies in a vase.

I gasp, they turn. We stare, and laugh. “Jinx!”

We hand each other our bouquets and I kiss them. For some reason, I think their favorite flowers are yellow tulips.

They go well with the tiger lillies, paired up in that vase together. Perhaps they were the flowers we had in our very humble private wedding.

Asexuality: complications

The hardest part about being in the acearo spectrum, is not the alienation or isolation feeling from the rest of people that feel attraction ‘normally’ and the experiences ‘everyone’ relates to. For me, the hardest part is the dating.

Because I actually want a relationship, I want the love and the romance! It’s not that I don’t, I just want it in a different way from what is expected of me, and I haven’t felt anything for anyone in about 6 years! It’s so incredibly frustrating, to hope for that love and know that the chances of me finding another asexual person who I actually feel attracted to and feels the same for me in such a tiny ass country, are minuscule. Or even just any person of any sexuality who is okay with me being asexual and won’t pressure me or feel bad about it or rejected or try to force me or ‘convince’ me into something.

I want the late night cuddles, laying in bed and watching moves together while we share popcorn, I want to hold hands when we’re out outside, go for a hug whenever we want or need to; I want us to turn the lights off and just hug each other in bed while we talk about silly things and giggle, I want to cheer them up when they’re sad and be supported in turn when I’m feeling down; I want to listen to them just talking and be able to smile and just stare dreamily as they do and say ‘I love you’, I want someone who can bear with my rants and the excitement in my eyes when I’ve just read or watched something great and look at me with love and not annoyance or boredom when I do.

I want to hold that someone in my arms tightly all the time, caress their hair, hold their hands, kiss their face when I think they look cute; I want to fluster them and make them stutter, I want us to just be able to walk into the room for a hug whenever, and just leave naturally; I want to hold their hand when we go skating and gently wipe their mouth if they’re eating messily; I want to make them laugh until they’re crying and laugh when they tell a joke; I want to defend them when they’re being put down by someone, I want them to hold my hand and be there to stop me from losing control when my family is treating me like shit, I want us to be there for each other in all ways that we can be.

I want us to kiss if we want to, never feel pressured to, I want us to wake up in bed together in the mornings, legs tangled and feet cold while we get up and make breakfast; I want us to bake cookies together and then get takeout when we’ve forgotten to cook dinner; I want to come home to a dinner in the fridge and someone waiting for me in the couch so we can go to sleep together; I want them to sit on the shower and just let me wash their hair gently; I want to write them little love letters and litter them around the house so they can find them while they clean, I want them to give me flowers when I’ve accomplished something or just because they wanted to; I want us to sleepover and just be close in a non-sexual intimate way; I want to lay my head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat to fall asleep and hold you tight in my arms, just to make sure you’ll be there when I wake up.

But finding love like that is just too hard in these times, and statistically, ny chances are really fucking small. I might have better luck with online dating or if I live in another, bigger country for a while, but that doesn’t make me feel better.

Sometimes the fear of never finding that someone for me just brings me such despair I lay down to cry on my pillow.

#acespec #ace pride #acearo #aceflux #ace fluff #asexual #asexual pride #queer pride #lgbt pride #queer community #queer writers #lovers #ace rambles

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