poeticallysane91

[poeticallysane91]

Just wanted to congratulate you for doing the IOP! I’m in an IOP program now. Good for you! You should be proud!!!

I appreciate you so much. I am! It was worth it.

[poeticallysane91]

I relate to this. When I was out there using, I wanted to fit in with the crowds of addicts. I literally would come around to try to smoke or share what I had but majority of the time people didn't welcome me. They would tell me to get away. Even if I had money to buy product they didn't let me. For a long time I felt alone and angry. Angry because I couldn't get what I wanted.

Now, reflecting back on things I truly think I wasn't supposed to get comfortable out there. Something bad probably would have happened to me. I experience gratitude for The Most High not allowing me too. It's crazy how we tend to go against what's telling us to do the right thing. I heard time after time I wasn't going to be able to hang with them or a specific person. But out of anger and desperation I was seeking it no matter what. It just drove me to a despair of wanting to have more for myself.

I am now thriving in a better environment full of support and good energy 💗

“Sometimes it’s a blessing to not get what we want.”

— Unknown

[poeticallysane91]

I am proud of accomplishing IOP. I did it to not only maintain my recovery but to also learn life skills in order to become stronger within my life. The experience itself was rewarding. It taught me to not waver when things get tough. It's also taught me to see things from a healthier perspective. I'm thankful for all the support I've received.

I rather heal rather than suppress my pain/ problems.

I wanted to share. Hopefully this can inspire someone else to take this step.

[poeticallysane91]

That's what life is all about ❣️

“I want to inspire people. One day I hope someone looks at me and says “because of you, I didn’t give up.””

— Unknown

[poeticallysane91]

I would like to see more people get serious about healing their wounds.

Our future generations would be less violent, passive and unaware.

I recommend therapy to those who seek emotional, mental and spiritual freedom.

I also think it's important to push each other to take the time out and think about things.

A lot of repercussions stem from impulsive behavior rather than slowing down and taking the time out to think things through.

Reflection should be used more often.

When you start to think, you begin to identify your growth.

Getting to know yourself is the beginning of one of the most life changing things you can do.

I encourage you. Much love.

[poeticallysane91]

Ready

Random feelings, wanting companionship. I have to be patient I want a healthy relationship.

Through the generations, we suffered abuse. Familiar with gaslighting, narcissists like to seduce.

I have dreams and goals I need to accomplish. Everything on hold, I'm steadily taking losses.

Reading books and taking classes. Restoring my mental health, my growth comes in masses.

Destined to find a love that's mine forever, knowing that one day he'll be my tether.

[poeticallysane91]

What is love to me

Love to me is the faith in the unknown. Just like the faith that we have in the higher power. They say love is blind right? Most of us walk blindly into something that we develop faith in. 

Love to me is Action. Just like the higher power wants us to have faith in order to really see what he is doing for us and what he will do for us through our walk in life.

Love to me are the components that create a “real” individual. Real about their truth. Those that are true to themselves become true to others. Being true to others consist of those godly characteristics we all desire in people.

Love to me is Light. Light subdues the darkness. Evil equals the darkness and Love equals the Light. Love conquers all & Love will always wins. Love is what we all have within us. Love is THE MOST SUPREME BEING. 

[poeticallysane91]

You decide your emotion for the time duration, It's a choice.

[poeticallysane91]

Love is GOD in all his ways.

[poeticallysane91]

A child of God

I never knew how much I really understood GOD until I was awake & tested by the world. The enemy used people, energy, and lights to try to take me out. But the FAITH I had for GOD always strengthened  me and he erased my doubt. Where I thought I  was weak, Yah kept me strong and through my walk I realized I am where I belong. There’s no time frame we can put on our process of life. It’s an ongoing battle to be won for GOD so nothing will prosper when the devil strikes. Taunts lies & laughs is where it started. False God’s misleading the world is not it. I live for the Kingdom and not the world, I’ll die for my truth and that’s one of my moral.

[poeticallysane91]

An unlimited light

"I know what it feels like"

To be unwanted, raped, melested, lied to / on, cheated on, stole from, scared, wanting to not be anywhere on this earth, feel alone in a room full of people, mislead, judged, have your child taken by the other parent, drown urself in drugs & alcohol, feel insecure, be physically & mentally abused, to not have someone you want, not have a good father figure, grow up in a poor home, think people are ur friends when they're disloyal, hated on, be in foster care, lose someone you care about, have a dysfunctional family, have a failed marriage, have ur heart broke constantly & not be able to cry any more ...

I remember growing up projecting that anger to the world. All that I had went through numbed me... My favorite saying was "Welp, it's my life" when someone was trying to be sympathetic for my life. It hardened me from any situations moving forward. All of a sudden I became concerned in my lack of empathy! Then one day, I decided I no longer wanted to drown in all the pain I endured. I started to read books to exercise ways to be the opposite of what my hardships had lead me to be. I started to change my mindset💭 I got tired of being unhappy. I grew hungry to better myself & to experience the joy I remember having when life was just starting off.

Today I seek the positivity in everything with an awareness of implementing the lessons I've learned through those experiences. The positivity I carry is my light🔦 in a world full of darkness.

[poeticallysane91]

Winning

Winning is living through everything, past and present and still being able to live life with an optimistic mind.

Winning is getting to know yourself so that it's easier to navigate through life efficiently.

Winning is projecting love when all you feel is pain.

Winning is knowing that you are here because of something greater.

Winning is understanding and the acceptance of those from different walks of life.

Winning in my opinion isn't from a materialistic view rather from a spiritual realm that shines light amongst a world of darkness.

You can't achieve higher levels of success (whatever that is for each individual)

Until you desire the understanding of love.

Winning is being able to understand the value in these words.

Winning is helping others to see the value of their life's.

[poeticallysane91]

Approval

I don’t need assurance from anyone to know if I’m a “good person or not”. Because WHO ARE WE TO DECIDE WHO’S A GOOD PERSON. I need to genuinely feel the love I’ve buried through the experiences of my pain AGAIN & never let go of it no matter what life dishes at me. I need to fill my mind with love so that I can project that a lot more unto other people without the thought of having to be reserved… I want to deliver what I have to offer… I really agree when they say that “words make a difference.” I also know that your thoughts do too♥️

[poeticallysane91]

How does a job affect you?

"IF YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB, YOU SHOULDN'T BE HAPPY IT'S FRIDAY." Words from plenty dumb asses that agree. See, I'm the type that knows how it feels to not be able to work due to circumstances. I also know how traumatizing things can be for people to where they are scared to work due to all the emotional issues they experience. I'm not saying you aren't supposed to push forward but, some people don't have the guidance nor courage to do so. See, people think that a job is what makes them SUPERIOR over others when in fact YOU'RE wrong. It just shows that you're judgmental & eh, I could say it, but towards the beginning of this status I said (dumb ass) already. If your job was taken away from you & you lived in other people's shoes how would you feel when people looked at you as if you were nothing without it? We all come from different walks in this life. The things you endure may be nothing major compared to what the next endures. Why I felt the need to speak on this is because without a job you'd feel like a piece of shit. Where we WIN (because I've came from this) is by being humbled due to our situations. It gives us a different outlook on life & understanding. You though? Pfffft ... Could catch me on a good day about this Amazing thing called LIFE♥️♥️♥️ (Let's converse) So I will continue & everyone else should continue to live everyday like it's your last. FUCK THE NEGATIVITY

[poeticallysane91]

Take control

My turn? The need to feel the pressure... I yearn. Explode from the stroke game. Screaming (insert name), *I'm saying your name* Not just the physical...exchange of energy, reciprocal . Mutual benefits...69? This head game will blow your mind. Yeah you heard me...blow your mind. I wouldn't be writing this if it were a lie. The way that I tease you you're gon want me to stop . Playing with your head on & off ... its like a roller coaster, you're high & then you drop. You ever heard of your toes spreading ? Or maybe curling... it's all about my desire to please ...I'm performing.

[poeticallysane91]

The one

You ever felt like you were the heart of your family? The one that is there for everyone… even the ones that least expect it? The one who talks about how much they wish the family was together? The one who knows everyone’s problems & characters well but just kinda watches them & minds your own business. The one who gets drunk with everyone but starts crying because you love the times you spend but wish y'all could be around each other more often. The one who doesn’t judge them yet everyone judges you. The one that gets walked over sometimes because you’re family & they use that to their advantage. The one who has no voice because no one will listen…

- Well, that’s me … & that shit hurts.

[poeticallysane91]

My definition of courage♥️