raving-writer-ramblings

[raving-writer-ramblings]

Haikus, a poetic narrative.

Poetry Is Dumb Like, it is not very hard To Write a Haiku - Just Kidding, I lied Haikus are pretty awkward Look at this garbage - Nature is a Thing That is Popular for this You know, for haikus - In The Next Haiku I will Attempt Something True A real Haiku Yo - The Leaves Drift Slowly The Dew Wets Autumn Soil Winter Is coming - See, easy as pie Yet Why do I feel so sad? Was my win Hollow? - Should I just give up? I feel no pride in winning Only this dim hurt. - To conquer Haiku Must I first find my own path? Can I even Win? - Perhaps I am Wrong. Wrong in life, as in Haiku. To conform is loss - Yet, as I break free The World Around me seems quiet. Uncaring as I lose my way. - Broken and lost am I Both in line as is life My form breaks yet nothing cares. - Seven Five Seven Is how Haikus always go To break form is loss - To Conform is loss There is no winning in life To break form is loss - A Single Tear Drop Like Rain it finds the ocean Like all it is lost - I am not so deep I would Never Claim to be For I too am lost

[raving-writer-ramblings]

The text file for this was called Dust. Just some shit i found on my computer. Hope you enjoy!

Dust. Fucking Dust. It's god damned everywhere this side of the mountains. Reddish brown like the beast haulin my ass everywhere and damned dry. A stupid man or maybe even just an ignorant one'd end up bone dry and mummifying by whatever shoddy campsite they attempted out here. Course if I hadn't grown up knowin better I'd end up just like them, hell people I knew growin up had ended up like them. Lucky me though, I happened across an oasis a few days back and the water tanks in my saddle are full cause of it. Of course, having water wasn't the only threat in the badlands. Hell no. If that was my only worry I'd have just settled at an oasis till it run dry and then moved on. Nah the real trouble comes from the Growlers. Mean sons of bitches. All teeth, fur, and hate. Course you might think I’m exaggerating for effect but until you look into their striking blue eyes you wouldn't understand. Hell the growlers are so bad that a bandit attack will halt on the mere sight of em. Most growlers hesitate before leaping out at me though, and not because i'm special or nothin hell no. It has more to do with the beast strapped to my saddle. Thick fur, broad shoulders, powerful in build, and a head as big as a man with jaws to match. Nothing and nobody fucks with a beast like that, hell even I was wary when I got her and she was a baby then. She's called Mop although her species are known as Tylk to the egg heads that discovered them. Terrible name in my opinion, but who the hell cares. Well, other than me of course. At this point we'd been blazing the saddle for about three fourths of a sun cycling and it was getting to about the time where me and mop would have to bunker down for the dark cycle. As beautiful as the stars could be when the sun finally settles down across the horizon it got way too damned cold and the dark cycle took way too damn long. Course it is possible for Mop and me to keep moving during the dark cycle but I'd need blankets or some other covering to enclose the saddle. Not to mention the lengths I'd have to go to to make sure we have enough food to keep moving during a dark cycle. Damn. Maybe we're close enough to a town where we'd be able to rustle up supplies like that. I dunno if we can afford to press on if we aren't… but if we don't we could run out of time hunkered down for the night. Of course I'd ask Mop for her opinion but seeing as how her kind don't speak it'd be a pointless venture. Of course, being the overconfident bastard that I am I pressed forwards. Needless to say there weren't any towns close enough before darkness fell. Met a few growlers while setting up to hunker down but they weren't nothing to difficult with mop around. I got lucky. Everything in the dusty hellhole came down to luck eventually. Maybe the stars will align and I'll make it even though I hunkered down. Even if I don't, I hope the boy forgives me. I'm sure an egghead like him'd be able to make it. Damn me for being a fool. I hope he's doin fine without me. “Mop… you ever miss your family?”

“rrrrrr… hhhh… kkkk….”

“Yeah you're probly right… the boy'll be fine. He's his mother's kid.”

[raving-writer-ramblings]

It Takes Some Time: Part 1?

Hey hey I’m back in action with a bit of writing. This was more or less improvised. I just sort of let it flow naturally and took it from there. I apologize if it is a little messy or boring. It is a bit long for some people but I hope you enjoy. ^_^

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“Hey! Connor! Did you go out to get food today!?” The question rang out from the kitchen, muffled partly from the barrier of the wall between there and the living room and partially because Connor was sure his roommate had his head buried in the fridge. Of course this meant that his roommate already knew the answer to that question.

“Sorry dude, had work all day I forgot.” Connor actually hadn’t forgotten, well not exactly but he wasn’t about to let it slip that he avoided the task on purpose. Quinn would be pissed if he learned he didn’t want to shop just avoid his Ex who had been working the register that day.

“You forgot? Dude you work right next to the grocery store, how the hell did you forget? You walk past it coming home.” The voice was closer now and Connor could see her standing in the doorway, hands on hips, over the edge of his laptop.

“Quinn I’m sorry it just slipped my mind, I had to do about fifty returns in like the last hour today. I swear forty something white moms are the god damned worst with this shit.” Connor rolled his eyes and finally looked up from the almost completely blank text file he had open. “If you want I can go out and get stuff now. The Pharmacy at the corner should still be open and they have groceries. I don’t know why we don’t shop there anyways it's closer.” Quinn just let out a long sigh and turned heel back into the kitchen where the unmistakable sound of a fridge being shut in a not so calm fashion could be heard.

“Fuck it, I’m going out. Please just get food so I don’t have to eat fast food tomorrow I’m trying to make weight.” After the, um ‘gentle’ closing of the front door of the apartment the harpy was gone. Of course that wasn’t really a fair description of her. While Quinn did have some issues keeping calm she was still one of Connor’s best friends and the only one who’d take him in after last summer. Plus it wasn’t the first time he had ‘accidentally forgotten’ to get the groceries. That added on top of the diet she was trying to maintain for boxing meant his blunder today resulted in a pretty fair amount of anger.

Letting out a resigned breath of his own Connor got up and grabbed his coat off the back of the couch. He briefly considered changing into something other than a T-shirt he’s had since high school that barely fit and shorts that should not be worn outside the house but he really wasn’t trying to impress anyone today. So slipping on the worn out windbreaker and jamming his feet into a pair of beat up sneakers was all he did before slipping out of the apartment, only to double back halfway down the hall of his apartment building because he had forgotten several key items. Namely keys, hat, wallet, and the all important cellular device.

With his assortment of essentials gathered and ready to go Connor once more slipped out of the two bedroom apartment. This time he made it to the street without any sudden realizations of miscellaneous objects he would need on his little adventure for foodstuffs and toilet paper.

The city was pretty bright considering it was well past sundown, a fact of both convenience and great annoyance to conner. He enjoyed being able to see where he is going and such but a walk in the dark was always something he enjoyed as a teenager. He and his friends always took long walks over the weekends, just smoking and enjoying the simple things in life. Of course now he didn’t smoke much and life’s simple things were a tad less enjoyable but the nostalgia of it seemed to cover for those things a fair bit. Of course this walk would only be for a couple blocks but again it didn’t really matter.

Connor’s mind drifted as he walked, his hands jammed in his pockets and only the sound of passing cars to remind him of reality. The deeper his mind drifted the more her face started to show up, Laurin. This happened so frequently now that it barely bothered him, at this point it was to be expected. Of course he wished this would end and that he could simply move on but something about her nagged at him whenever he got lost in thought. Maybe it was the loose curls in her blonde hair or the way she chewed her lip when she was lost in thought but he couldn’t get her out of his head.

It was pathetic. Really it was. Connor was the one who broke it off with her, she had hurt him and yet he still thought of her like this. She still haunted him like a delightfully soft nightmare but he knew he’d never let that happen again. There were times where he thought he was insane for still feeling this way about her after almost a year.

A loud and sudden honking from behind him cut those thoughts short, which was admittedly for the best and connor turned around. The car that had been honking was a stark white convertable of some kind. It looked european but Connor couldn’t really tell since he wasn’t much of a car guy. More importantly inside the car were four women, each squealing like children as the blonde in the front seat honks her horn repeatedly at the red light. When the light changes there is a remarkably loud tire squeal and a roar of an engine as the car bolts forwards through the crossing at a fairly unsafe speed. The laughter and shouting of the women fades off in the distance as the car passes and something about the whole scene caused Connor to bust out laughing.

Maybe it was the incredulity of the whole scene and maybe it was the juxtaposition of that against his silly worries and musings. Whatever it was he’d have to thank them for saving him from his own torrent of gloom. He might also have to tack on a thank you about reminding him that he was already where he needed to be he just had to cross the street to the pharmacy. He can’t count the number of times he had absentmindedly walked past whatever destination he was headed for because he was too wrapped up in his own stupid pity party to notice.

After a few scares where he was almost hit by cars, Connor successfully crossed the street and made his way into the small 24 hour convenience store slash pharmacy. After glancing at the signs hanging from the ceiling he made his way to the section labeled ‘groceries and canned goods’ which he noted was an odd description as he figured you could count canned goods as groceries. It only took a few moments to pull up the list Quinn had texted him earlier and gather the things she had wanted and to pick out a few things he wanted as well.

Once all the items were gathered he had a new dilemma. He had a shit ton of things he had to carry all the way home and unlike Quinn he wasn’t a boxer so his arms were going to fall off from the weight of it. Of course he was no going to complain to Quinn or wimp out now, that would be a one way ticket to getting his ass kicked and thrown out. Two things he did not want to happen.

So sucking it up he made his way to the counter and lined up all the stuff on the counter in front of a girl with obviously dyed black hair and really pale skin. Basically if anyone fit the bill as a vampire it would be her. Her smile was obviously enforced as some sort of company policy because it really didn’t fit on her face super well. She didn’t really say anything at first but after looking all of his stuff and bagging it for him she lost the smile and raised an eyebrow with a look that seemed more like her natural resting face.

“Dude didn’t you walk here? You know you can’t steal the shopping car right?” Her voice was pretty monotone but the corner of her mouth twitched and you could tell she found the idea a bit amusing.

“Shit, here i thought you’d be cool and let me take it.” Connor offered a grin, and picked up a couple of the bags in one hand as he prepared to leave. The bags were annoyingly heavy already and in five minutes when he starts walking his arms are going to hate him.

“Nah, i might get the axe for that. I tell you what though, You wait twenty minutes and I can give you a ride home.” This time her smile spread more naturally and she motioned over her shoulder in the general direction of the parking lot.

“Alright, but before you make any moves I’ll have you know I carry a wooden stake at all times.” Connor was thankful for the offer and hoped he could keep their bit of banter going.

“Uh… what? Wait…” Her face went from puzzled to suddenly getting it within seconds and she let out a soft laugh. “Sorry kid, you’ll actually need silver bullets for me. Nice guess though.”

“Shit and here i thought I was safe for once.” Connor took his turn to laugh. “Alright I’ll wait outside, twenty minutes right?”

“Nineteen now, but yeah. Get outta here so I can do my job.” She waved him off nonchalantly and Connor headed for the door only to be stopped short by a voice. “Hey! Wait! I didn’t catch your name stranger!” Her laugh followed the dumb cliched line.

“Oh, right I’m Connor.” He spoke loud enough back that she could catch it easily and he stepped outside. Of course he hadn’t bothered to ask her name because he was busy trying to act smooth but in the end just came off like a character he might write in a poor book idea.

Sitting himself down at the curb he let his eyes run over the four cars that were in the parking lot and tried to guess which one was hers. There was a black SUV in decent shape, a silver convertible that looked to be about twenty years old, a beat up bug painted some dark color like black or blue, and the last one was an orange mustang that had definitely seen better days. Judging by her black nails, dyed black hair, and snow white skin Connor guessed she probably owned either the SUV or the old Bug. Deciding between the two he went with the bug since she worked at a convenience store which he doubted could pay for the relatively nice SUV.

Having made his bets he still had a few minutes before she would follow him out and settle the debate once and for all. In those few minutes Connor did a number of things, all of which were totally interesting and worth noting.

A few flicked pebbles and 74 passing cars later a short petite girl wearing a beanie and boots that clashed with her uniform stepped out of the building. She looked the wrong way first and did a sort of pirouette before spotting Connor sitting in the shade.

“Jeez, and you made fun of me for being a vampire. You know the streetlights aren’t the sun right? You won’t burn.” She grinned and offered a hand to help him up which he accepted.

“True, but I was hoping that if I hid in the shadows you might let slip your true name so I could control you.” This line was a stretch and in hindsight was more than a little cringey, but it got a laugh anyways.

“What am I? A demon or rumpelstiltskin? Neither of those sounds like a compliment though.” She picked up a few of his bags and started towards the silver convertible, which meant he had guessed wrong.

“Well I was hoping to find out. I guess I can settle for the name you’d be wiling to offer me. I can’t just call you cashier girl can I?” Connor loaded his bags into the trunk of the car and slid into the passenger’s seat when prompted.

“I suppose not, but seeing how you missed your chance to ask earlier it might be funny if I withhold the information.” She offered him a grin as she turned the key in the ignition and the car practically wheezed to life.

“That didn’t sound to good. I think the hamsters running your engine are dying.” Again a pretty cringey line but she only shot him a glance before laughing softly. “Yeah ok that was definitely not the best joke. I assume it's not that unusual a sound though?”

“Yeah, the old thing has sounded the same for about three years. Honestly I’m only a few paychecks away from upgrading to something that runs a little better before this gives out on me.” She shrugged without looking over and kept her eyes steady. “ You didn’t tell me where we were going by the way. I have no clue where you live.”

With a chuckle Connor informed her that it was a straight shot to his apartment and should only take a few minutes. The two of them simply made smalltalk the rest of the way and when she pulled over Connor thanked her and got out.

“Hey, before you go. The Name’s Eve. Friday night I’ll be at the coffee house down the street” She offered him a wink and drove away before he could respond.

With a shrug of his shoulders Connor took his bags of foodstuffs up to their fourth floor apartment halfway up the building. Everything about the last forty minutes had been like something at the start of a goofy romance movie. Right down to the bad lines and how hot she was in comparison to him.

Once he got to the apartment he noticed the door was unlocked and the doorway smelled vaguely of meat and cheese. Burgers.

Inside the apartment the smell was stronger and on the couch was Quinn, sprawled out with a mountain of burgers on the coffee table. As far as Connor knew she was still on a diet so he took pause and opened his mouth to speak before being cut off immediately.

“I got a call while I was in the car.” Her voice sounded very agitated and Connor’s mind instantly cycled through everything he had done in the past week to make sure it wasn’t because of him.

“Um… about what?” Connor was genuinely confused and that carried in his voice.

“Apparently my opponent was caught juicing. So my bout it cancelled.” She paused for a moment. “Well sorta. Apparently I can get a fight scheduled for that same day but I will have to go up an entire weight class. The club needs the win to convince the board for funding so i don’t have alot of choice in this.”

“Ah…” There really wasn’t much else to say. Quinn was dedicated to boxing and as such she would make this work, but he wasn’t sure how. “Um So all of the food I bought?” He ventured the statement as a question.

“It’s fine. Most of that stuff would have lasted longer but I need to boost my calories.” Quinn gritted her teeth a bit before glancing back at Connor. For a moment her face was exactly what he had expected but then her eyebrow shot up. “You met a girl?”

“Wha.. how the hell did you do that?” He was dumbfounded. There was absolutely no way she could have found that out just by looking at him, it was impossible.

“I just havea sense for these things with you. We’ve been friends since High School.” She took a long drink from her giant cup. “So is she cute?”

“Yeah, I’d say she is.” Connor started to get things put away as he spoke, the wall separating the kitchen and the living area serving as a barrier from the embarrassing staring she’d no doubt be doing. “She isn’t actually my type, but we hit it off well enough that i could look past it.”

“My my how noble of you, letting the non-blondes bask in your favour for once.” The sarcasm was so thick that he could practically feel her rolling her eyes in the other room.

“Oh come on that isn’t fair! You do that shit too!” This time it was Connor’s turn to star disapprovingly from the kitchen doorway. “Name one time you dated or had sex with a guy that wasn’t shorter and thinner than you.”

“Puh-lease, that is not the same at all. I’m 6’1” most guys are shorter than me and just because I like skinny guys doesn’t mean i wouldn’t date another… wait shit. Fine you win.” She sighed and took a mouth full of a burger. “Hey by the way you haven’t eaten yet tonight right?” She punctuated the question by tossing Connor a burger. “Go nuts i think if i eat all of these i’ll puke.

Connor rolled his eyes at his overzealous friend and unwrapped the burger befor plopping himself down on her feet. “Thanks Q.”

“Yeah yeah.” She tugged her feet up and moved so that instead of laying on the couch she was sitting with her legs stretched out. They were still close to Connor but at least now he had proper eating room.

The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. Quinn passed out on the couch and Conner cleaned up the wrappers that were thrown around the room at random. After he got everything picked up he dragged a blanket over his friend and headed to his room. Life wasn’t always going to be so boring and simple, he’d learned that as a kid, but right now he wished that every day could end like this. Afterall he didn’t have all that much to worry about and things seemed optimistic for once.

[raving-writer-ramblings]

Writing Backlog Part: Final IX (Requiem of an Author’s Hope)

Hey I finally made it through all of my more recent story thingies. This last one takes inspiration from a few things that I won’t name (unless asked or something) and hopefully you can catch em. I hope that the story is good even if you can’t catch what i was going for. I actually like this one a fair bit as well. Please ENJOY! ^_^ ___________________________________________________

He walked out of the large doorway, shedding the pessimistic shadows that previously consumed him within and found himself stepping out onto a balcony. The white stone glistened, contrasting the harsh darkness within the doorway that now lay behind him. At first the harshness of the light was blinding, almost forcing him back into the relative safety of the known dark as opposed to the unforeseen horrors of blinding light. It was right that he did not turn back though, for as his eyes adjusted it became ever clearer that to stand in the sun was far greater than to avoid it. With each slow metallic footstep drawing him further into the arms of the light as his vision cleared. As if to invite him further when his vision cleared there stood another man at the edge, his head cocked to stare up into the glory of the sun. This man did not look to be special in any way but there seemed an aura about him that drew you ever closer. Before he could get too close the man on the balcony turned to reveal a look of minor surprise that quickly gave way to that of a gentle smile. Neither of the men spoke both opting instead to turn their gaze back upwards to enjoy the last glimmers of hope they might yet share. This ritual of silently peering into the vast skies served only to lengthen the inevitable and the two turned to face one another in near unison. Neither dared utter a word nor move further. They stood like this, eyes locked between two steel gazes for quite some time as if again trying to lengthen their time in the sun. This time was cut shorter than the odd ritual before as both men roared to life in an instant. Their engines firing with such volume and power that it could be heard from miles if there were those to hear it. The clash was monstrous by nature as both men tore at each other like beasts. Their fingers like daggers tearing through exposed metallic flesh and gouging the wiring beneath. Slicks of beautiful rainbows splattered across the ground as each of them struggled for their life. The motions were pointed as attacks but seemed almost random as if they wished only to force the other to stop or to let themselves be forced to stop. As the skirmish continued it only got slower and slower as more and more of their vital mechanisms were damaged. Their ability to continue seemed to wane by the second as their engines sputtered to a near halt. The man who had been standing at the edge of the balcony was now forced to take a knee unable to lift his head towards the heavens. He had grown old and his time in the sun was past, he cursed himself in silence for being unable to cast his gaze upwards one final time. The man who had just come out into the sun was now draped across the edge of the balcony, hanging precariously over the edge. His gaze was cast upwards but he did not feel the same connection that this older man would to it. He wished to know why he was compelled to bask in its glory. With the last of their sputtering strength each of them forced themselves to their feet. The older man moved his mouth as if to speak but no words emitted. The younger man wouldn’t need to hear those words to understand their meaning, at least not in time. Before he could even react the older man plummeted over the edge, twisting to gaze at the sky once more before being enveloped by the darkness below. Wordlessly the young man propped himself against the balcony once more. He could feel his body begin the repair process as he basked in the incandescence of the light pouring onto him from above. As he did so he was overcome with words he could never speak. “Seek your own Sun”

[raving-writer-ramblings]

Wrltlng Backiog #8

Not much to say about this one. It’s framed as a sort of nostalgia piece about some kids doing some stupid stuff lol. I hope you can enjoy this! _________________________________________________________

I always used to come by this riverbank as a kid. It was calming to me, to watch the fish float by in the little lull where I used to play. The water was fast further down the stream and my parents always told me that it was really dangerous to actually swim in the water here but I don’t think I ever actually listened to them if they weren’t watching me. I can’t count the number of times I’ve swam across the river and back in the dead of night with my friends from school. Of course We weren’t very safe about it, often jumping in off the banks further up river and catching each other when we made it to the lull. Of course nobody ever got hurt so we figured it was all good fun. Our parents tried to scare us away by claiming that a river troll lived at the end of the river and ate children who got swept downstream, but there was no way that was true so we just ignored them. One day in the middle of summer, Rachel and Harry thought it’d be fun to take the raft we made further down stream and check it out to see if the troll was real or not. I didn’t think it was that good of an idea but they seemed to be into it so I went along with them. There were four of us in all Harry and Rachel who were twin brother and sister, Annabelle my neighbor, and me. We packed a lunchbox, flashlights, a waterproof radio, and Harry stole his dad’s fishing knife. With all of our supplies ready we leaded up onto the crudely made raft, which surprisingly held up really well and we headed down river in the dead of night. Needless to say it wasn’t a very good idea at all, after the first few hours we were completely lost. The town where we lived was pretty far behind us and the river was picking up speed. Our raft was put together when we were in second grade, and being in middle school now meant it was surprising the thing still floated at all. On top of all of that we had begun to hear strange moaning sounds coming from the banks of the river and began fearing that our parents were right about the troll. Harry tried to assure us that with the knife he’d be able to protect us but that promise was short lived when we hit a rock and he dropped the knife into the river. By the time the sun came up the four of us were crowded in the middle of the raft and passed out from lack of sleep. We woke up at the base of the river with police officers helping us out of the water and asking us for our phone numbers. After a few hours we were all picked up by my mom and we drove home in silence. We didn’t even eat the food we brought. Annabelle moved out of state after that summer and the twins were sent to a boarding school that was year round after their parents divorce. I’m the only one left now. Sometimes I go out and sit on the bank of the river at night and shake my head at how stupid we were. The rapids could have killed us. I’m glad we did it though, it’s sort of a testament to the passing of our youth. I’m Twenty-Two now and I can say pretty confidently that I don’t regret our last voyage. After all, youth is fleeting so why waste it.

[raving-writer-ramblings]

B4ckl0g Righting #7

So this is another one I like. It has a sort of scatterbrained first person view that I really like. I keep wanting to say it’s a little different from my usual stuff but really it’s pretty in line lol. I really hope you can enjoy this! _____________________________________________________

The solace of sitting outside at a cafe in the middle of winter is actually incredible. Of course most people won’t want to experience that when it is snowing but hey, I like what I like ok? Up until pretty recently I had been having artist’s block, which seriously makes my life living hell, especially since I essentially live on commissions for art right now. Once the artists block cleared up though I was at my desk for basically three days straight to meet my deadlines. I finished them all up yesterday at around midnight and passed out. So today i’m treating myself a bit. Favorite cafe, favorite time of year, and this light snow is actually heaven on earth. Of course it’d be better if Anna was back from Thailand to share the experience with me, but a girl can’t have everything now can she? Honestly I mostly wish she was here so that I could have her sitting down right where I am and make her the subject of a sketch Idea I have forming in my head. Oh right I should probably clear something up, people often confuse me and Anna for a couple but that’s wrong. First off she’s straight and i’m somewhere in the middle of the road. Anna is my roommate and my muse, I mean the girl is absolutely stunning. Any artist who takes pride in their portraits would love to have her be their subject, but for right now she is all mine. Or rather she would be if she was fucking here. I’d ask somebody else but the way I tend to glare at people who I’d like to sketch throws people off which makes it tough to ask people for help. “Umm… Excuse me.” Apparently I was so absorbed in thought that some girl with a rather quiet voice had snuck up behind me. “Aren’t you cold out here? Your face is red.” I turned around and there she was. My mind blanked in an instant. All I could think about was how much I wanted to ask her to sit down and let me do a quick sketch of her but how the hell would I ask a thing like that? In the end I didn’t really say anything. I just sputtered out something about being fine with the chill and that a bit more tea would be nice. The waitress nodded quietly and headed back indoors without so much as glancing back. Through the window I could see her bustling back and forth to appease the customers who in such cold weather were many. Without much hesitation I freed my sketchbook from my bag and pulled out my favorite pencil. Fluidly and without a second thought I began to imprint her form onto the page beneath my pencil, my eyes darting up every so often to catch more and more of her details to place onto the page. The sketch only took me a few minutes and I wasn’t really feeling the tea anymore. I tore the sketch from my book and weighed it down with the coins from my tip. I signed it with my name and cell number before getting up to leave. Smooth? Maybe. Creepy was more like it, but by the time I regretted it I was already on the bus home. I sorta hoped she’d call, but I didn’t give her much reason to. If she didn’t call I’d probably have to avoid that Cafe for awhile. Gods I’m such a dork. Ah well. My phone started ringing before bed but it was probably Anna so i answered is accordingly. “Anna? Hey what’s up.” “Ah… Umm Sorry no.” The voice was familiar, even if i’d only heard it once. Maybe i’m not such a creep after all.

[raving-writer-ramblings]

Bkacolg Writing #6

Ok to follow up the cute romantic post I’ll hit you with the sort of sad and ultimately a little gross one here. This one deals with topics of suicide and such and I actually don’t like it all that much. However I think it is still worth posting. If you read it I hope you like it even if you can’t really “Enjoy” it haha.  ________________________________________________________

Chris knew he shouldn’t be here. Everything about this was wrong. The stars in their dotted beauty only served to remind him of his shame the night before. The moon that had hung over him brilliant and full on that night now felt as if it was staring at him in disapproval. Of course it had seen the entire thing and anyone who had seen the same would be sickened as the moon was now, as Chris was now. The crash of the waves against the shore were the only thing that soothed him now. They reminded him of the passionate bliss that his misdeeds coincided, the touch of her skin and the glisten of her womanhood. Her skin had been dotted as if an inverted mirror of the night sky with bright ivory skin and a splash of night darkened freckles. Even her hair seemed to taunt the night with brilliant red coloring as it splayed across the beach beneath him. Their embrace had felt so perfect in the moment and it seemed as if even the world could not judge them. It only took a day’s reflection for Chris to realize that the world’s judgment would be harsh and his stomach churned because of it. A part of him hoped that they would never meet again and after tonight he would be sure they never could. Chris pushed himself to his feet and glanced back up the beach. He caught sight of red in the moon’s reflected light and a glisten of tears across a pale face. She was shorter than he remembered and from this distance he could see his mistakes all the more clearly. She was only a child to him, no more than a week past eighteen. She turned away from him as if she couldn’t watch, and his throat tightened as his grip slackened. The glint of something silver in his hand reminded him of why he came. His hand raised to his temple and the air cracked like thunder. His body fell and his blood splayed across the sand. This was the spot. The blood of her first mixed with the blood of his last and washed free, into the ocean.

[raving-writer-ramblings]

LogBack Writings #5

Alright so this one is a little bit racy, I wouldn’t call it truly NSFW but caution is best to be used. It’s a short little sample I did to see if I could write something cute and interesting even if I didn’t give all that much context. It’s about a couple and I’ll leave the rest for you to read! I hope you Enjoy! _____________________________________________________

She slid from the bed, her lithe figure silhouetted by the light left on in the bathroom. She hated the dark, a fear everyone seemed to have as a kid but she never really got over it so we just left the light on in the bathroom. I admit it annoyed me at first but over time I just found it endearing, like all of her quirks. She kept her hair long now so the auburn curls showered past her shoulder, so different from the short straight hair she had when I met her but equally beautiful. Her movements were slow and pointed as she made her way to the bathroom trying her best to leave me asleep, a task she already failed but I'll keep that a secret. As she got closer to the bathroom more and more of her pale skin lit up, freckles materializing across the smooth surface of her shoulders and if she'd been wearing less you'd find they trail their way down her back as well. Her legs were graceful as if carved from marble with admittedly similar pale coloring. My silent staring was cut short by the closing of the bathroom door and I decided rolling over to miss the sounds that would follow would be best. After all some things are better left private even between lovers. Minutes later I felt her sliding between the sheets and her chilled fingers slipped around my mid -section. Normally I might have tensed at the sudden cold but after all these years I had gotten used to it. Her legs soon followed suit and found themselves draped over my own. Mere moments later I could feel her hot breath against the back of my neck and her fingers were sliding opposite directions across my bare stomach. I didn't move or react at first but as her fingers slipped beneath the fabric of my bra and the folds between my legs I let out a soft cry. “Sorry… did I wake you when I got up?” Her usually playful voice was much breathier and more sultry in tone. “You know… if you get this wet just watching me walk around you'll never get away from me.” She punctuated her words with a light flick of her finger against my clitoris and I sucked in a sharp breath. “I… I don't wanna g-get away from... you.” I managed to force out some words between soft moaning and in response I felt a warm damp area press against my behind. She always teased about me wanting to escape, and any time I denied it she'd show me just how aroused I got her. Sliding her fingers back out from beneath my panties and she raised them to her mouth and suckled gently for a moment as I shifted to turn around. Face to face her green eyes practically shone in the dark and drew me into her ever tighter. Both her eyes and mine slid closed and our faces drew close enough for our breath to mix until our lips found eachother. The world fell away in that moment, the heat of our bodies became one and our saliva mixed. Responding on instinct she rolled to her back and pulled me on top of her, my petite frame eclipsing only a little of her larger one and her hands found themselves wandering my back before one settled on my upper thigh. My own hands made their way to her speckled cheeks, brushing past them gently until I found them locked in her curls holding our lips tighter together. She was soft and gentle. Beautiful and kind. Nights like this reminded me just how much I loved her but so did nights where we were apart. I longed to hold her in my arms forever but I adored simply seeing her walk on her own. Everything about her was beautiful to me, even her terrible taste in music. I love her… and I hope she loves me too.

[raving-writer-ramblings]

Backlog Writing #4

So this one is a bit out of my style as well. Or at least it is not at all written the way I would normally write but it does deal with a sort of interesting subject (in my opinion of course). There isn’t a ton to say about this one other than I hope that you can enjoy this.  ________________________________________________

I love you.

How I’ve longed to say those words to you all these years I can never adequately express.

My love was not born of some initial attraction coupled with a ditzy fraudulent reaction.

No my love was born from noticing our shared interests and dispositions from so close and yet too far.

It saddens me that I may never know the touch of your skin or the sound of your voice though you have stolen my heart.

Bitterest yet is watching your heart move for another and break for it's troubles.

To watch you and love you is like peering into a warped mirror.

Though our circumstances are different we always seem to move in unison.

Trapped from one another by a thin veil and your own ignorance of my existence.

I do not blame you for the pains this has caused me, they are not your fault.

But it does weigh heavy upon my heart that you cannot see me.

If there was something to be done, surely I would have done it.

I loved you.

Only in my dreams could I have held you, and now even they have ceased trying.

It is not your fault, nor is it theirs.

After all, even dreams know to give up when you wake up.

I promise to visit you.

Not that you'll know.

I suspect this won't be my last love.

After all, If I seek to love you again I'd only have to start reading again.

Farewell.

[raving-writer-ramblings]

Writing Backlog #3

So with this one I drastically changed style and tone. I don’t usually write like this it was more of an experiment than anything else. It’s sort of a folk tale or a myth I guess but it’s not based on anything I just sorta made it up. Enjoy! _________________________________   A boy on fire. A girl trapped within the sky. The boy was often sad. Nobody could come near him or else they'd burn away. As such he wandered the earth in aimless despair. The only one who saw his pain was the Girl. From up high his burning body made him like a comforting beacon for the lonely girl to follow. The girl was a water spirit who had caused great floods. In fear of her powers the gods locked her away. One day the boy came across a small village. The villagers, scared of his fiery form gathered their warriors to drive him away. The boy himself feared the frightful warriors they sent. In desperation the boy lashed out and set the village ablaze. In fear and desperation the boy brought about the destruction of the village. When he realized this the boy fell to his knees and wept. Black tears scorched the earth as they met the ground. The girl watched from up high. Her heart breaking as she witnessed the boy's fear and pain. As he fell to his knees to weep, so too did she. She wept tears enough to flood the entire sky. Eventually even the vast sky could not hold back such a flood and began to leak. The tears fell from the sky, quenching the fires the boy had made. Wiping away dark tears from his own face he turned his face skyward. At the sight of him looking up at her the girl's own tears stopped. Their eyes met. Their hearts connected. And for the first time the boy did not feel alone. Even the girl who could never leave her prison felt as if she was not alone.

[raving-writer-ramblings]

Backlog Writing #2

So in this one it’s sort of a weird throwback reference that literally nobody but me would understand. Zelos is an old OC fallen angel guy that I made for roleplaying when I was about 13 (I’m 20 now) who had been kicked from heaven for falling in love with this woman named Sarah. So he was always sort of a brooding character who liked to stand on rooftops with lighting bolts and cloudy night skies behind him but Sarah sort of kept him lighter in tone. So for this edgy reboot I took his love away from him and ran with it. It’s kind of a weird look into a character that nobody but me really knows. I hope you like it anyways lol.  ______________________________________   I look in the mirror. Shirtless. Pale. Skinny. No, not skinny but emaciated. The skin over my bones is but a formality of form, the only thing you could even call human on me. My gaunt features are the mark of one who either gave up long ago or started trying too little too late. The loose darkened skin beneath the holes where eyes might have been tells a sad story of never ending days. The blackened veins visible beneath the skin offer more than muscle by way of definition, the vile results of abuse and neglect. The scars that criss-cross my chest arms and legs all formed either at my own hands or from my misdeeds, each one as deserved as the last. For all the torment my body has endured it is a wonder yet that it is my mind that suffers worst of all. Her contorted weeping face is all I can imagine, haunting me at every waking endless moment. Worse yet is the screams of shrill terror and cries for forgiveness as if she'd commuted the acts upon herself. My existence is consumed by her consumed with recounting with horrible clarity every vile second I had been forced to witness. That alone is enough to violate my senses and cripple my willingness to live and yet my old blessing is now my curse. I look in the mirror and still they are there. White like the first snows of a child’s youth and broad with a commanding presence. They respond to my gaze by splaying out to their full breadth, reminding me of what I once was… what I still should be. Their regality seeming to have lost nothing in the years since I would have cared for them. My wings were nothing but remnants of a hope long past now. Fruitless in their resilience my wings might as well be broken. “Zelos your wings are so pretty and soft, like clouds.” Her words were always kind like that. Maybe it was those words which made my wings so defiant. After all, if she saw my wings in a state comparable to myself she might cry. Sarah always cried. “Hehe… you really like have your feathers brushed?” Her face seemed so vibrant then, as she ran a special comb through my feathers. I always pretended like I didn't like it, but she could always tell I was lying. “I'm sorry Zelos… I'm so sorry… I…” Her tears streamed. She was lucky to be alive and yet she apologized. Nobody would choose what had happened to her… nobody should apologize for that. I should have reassured her but I stood there. “Sarah… I'm sorry” The words slipped out. Only a thousand years too late.

[raving-writer-ramblings]

Backlog Writings #1

Basically the first chunk of things I’ll be posting on this blog will be old things I wrote before making this. This is the first of many. Enjoy or don’t, I won’t cry I promise. 

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“I already told you mom, I'll be fine.” His tone was unenthused as if he'd already gone over this same conversation a hundred times before. Of course that was because he had. His mother always seemed like she didn't believe he could succeed on his own, or that all he needed to do was admit it. Like that'd ever happen. “I know I know honey I'm just worried about you.” It was clear in both her tone of voice and the slight smudging of make up from tears that she was sincere. After all her oldest was finally moving along in the world. My how the years have passed her by. It felt like just a moment ago she'd met Blake for the first time on her fourth date with his late father. “You don't gotta worry. I've always been good at making friends, it's my time to try for something.” The line felt corny even for him but it felt right in a way. Without another word she embraced the boy and he returned the tight show of affection. After a few more minutes of double checking if he'd brought everything up from the van she finally set off, leaving Blake alone in his dorm. It felt strange, sitting on a new bed with new sheets, specially purchased for the strange mattress size his college used. None of it really felt real. He'd anticipated it, and prepared himself for it for months and yet now he was alone. Of course he wouldn't be alone in the room for much longer, his roommate would likely show up within the next few hours and ruin this surreal feeling of limbo. Rather annoyingly Blake had shown up early to 'move in day' and after taking his time to arrange his side of the dorm room was left with nothing. Finally deciding it would be a little too weird to sit around in his room he ventured out into the hallway, glanced both directions and arbitrarily picked a way to go. People were starting to trickle in now, most surrounded by a family member or two although a few were alone. Each one was either a person he'd pass by in the halls in the year to come or a person who he'd become familiar with, and not much in between. It was a strange occurrence to him that this flood of perfect strangers were all people he could and might meet and know. Some might be friends and others might be enemies. Eventually he found himself outside the dorm building he'd been assigned and began making his way away from the people moving in and towards the campus buildings of which he would be familiar. Everything about this place seemed strange and foreign and yet it'd all become familiar and mundane in a way. That statues of which he payed undue attention would eventually fade into the background of his grand play of life, the brick masoned buildings would become familiar destinations. His ideals would be questioned and his morals tested in ways that High School or movies never really described. Strangest of all is that he'd be different coming out than he was going in. Enamored by all of these realizations Blake looked to the sky and wondered how life would ever feel regular again. How this feeling of strangeness and oddity could fade from his views. His considerations and musings were cut short. His eyes pointed towards the sky, Blake had mistakenly stepped into the street. His body lies cold now in the morgue and the truck driver who'd been unable to foresee the young man who'd walked into the streets from behind the schools immaculate hedging was now in the hospital with a concision. Always be aware of your surroundings. Look both ways before crossing the street. This has been a PSA sponsored by your local law enforcement agency.