sandymacacua

[sandymacacua]

Feeling overwhelmed and anxious

Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed with everything going on in my life. It seems like my anxiety has been heightened, making it difficult to focus and stay motivated. Despite the chaos inside, whenever someone asks me if I'm okay, I find myself automatically responding with a simple "yes, I'm okay." But deep down, I'm not entirely sure if that's the truth. It's challenging to admit that I'm struggling, as if acknowledging it would somehow make it more real. However, the truth is that I've been feeling unmotivated and unproductive, and it's been affecting me on multiple levels.

I think part of the reason I respond with "yes, I'm okay" is because I don't want to burden others with my problems. I don't want to come across as weak or incapable of handling life's challenges. I fear that if I open up about what I'm experiencing, I might be judged or misunderstood. It's easier to put on a brave face and pretend that everything is fine, even when it's not.

This heightened anxiety has made it hard for me to concentrate. My thoughts often scatter, and I find myself easily distracted. I used to have a laser-like focus, but lately, it feels like my attention span has been reduced to mere seconds. It's disheartening to witness my once sharp mind struggle to maintain its clarity.

Moreover, this constant state of overwhelm has taken a toll on my overall well-being. I feel exhausted, mentally and physically drained, as if I'm constantly running on empty. 

In the midst of this overwhelming experience, I'm reminding myself to be patient and kind. Healing takes time, and I'm learning to embrace the process rather than rushing towards a quick fix. I'm reminding myself that it's okay to take a step back, to prioritize self-care, and to allow myself the space to heal and recover.

Sending love and strength to anyone else who's fighting this battle. We'll get through this, one step at a time.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Dive into the unknown, no fear in sight I dive into the mysteries, fueling my fire No room for regrets, no doubts restrain For in these daring acts, I come to see Wisdom blooms, boundless and bright.

Sandy Macacua, Beyond the Familiar

[sandymacacua]

Self-kindness along the way

It's important to remember to be kind to yourself and understand that you're still learning. When we are gentle with ourselves, we choose to treat ourselves with kindness, compassion, and understanding, just as we would treat a dear friend or loved one. It means being patient with ourselves when we make mistakes or face challenges, rather than being overly critical or judgmental.

Being gentle with ourselves encourages a mindset of self-acceptance and self-love. It means embracing our strengths, celebrating our achievements, and acknowledging our efforts, no matter how small. Instead of constantly comparing ourselves to others or striving for unattainable perfection, we learn to appreciate and value our unique journey and progress. 

So, please remember to be gentle with yourself as you continue to learn, grow, and discover your true potential.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Silent Struggles

It's no secret that we all go through challenging times in life. We face ups and downs, and sometimes, we need a shoulder to lean on or a listening ear to help us through. However, it can be incredibly disheartening when you find it challenging to share your struggles with others, only to be shut down and invalidated. This situation can be particularly frustrating if people assume that because you come from a well-known or privileged family, you don't have the right to feel sad or experience difficulties. This can lead to a sense of isolation, making it challenging to find solace and understanding in the face of genuine hardship.

Unfortunately, I've personally experienced instances where I've tried to open up about my struggles, only to be met with disbelief, dismissal, or even invalidation from those around me. It can be disheartening when people assume that everything must be perfect in my life just because of my family background. It's as if I'm not allowed to feel sad or experience difficulty.

One possible reason for this behavior is that people may have preconceived notions about your life based on external factors such as family reputation or financial stability. These assumptions can lead them to believe that your life must be perfect, and as a result, they may struggle to empathize with your struggles or acknowledge your emotions.

It's important to remember that everyone faces challenges and hardships, regardless of their background or social status. No one is immune to emotional pain or personal struggles, and it's unfair for others to dismiss your feelings simply based on assumptions about your life.

That's why I believe it's crucial for us all to remember that empathy knows no boundaries. We should strive to create a safe and supportive environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and challenges, regardless of their background. It's not about comparing our struggles but rather understanding and supporting one another.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Old self in a new light

Life is a perpetual journey of change and growth, and amidst the twists and turns, I often find myself yearning for my old self—the person I used to be. I miss the innocence that shielded me from life's harsh realities and the simplicity that once defined my days. I long for the carefree spirit that embraced spontaneity and lived in the present moment without the weight of responsibilities. The passing of time has challenged my views and reshaped my relationships, leaving me nostalgic for the unwavering certainty I once held and the unbreakable bonds that seemed destined to last forever. Yet, as I reflect upon my old self, I realize that missing who I used to be is a testament to the growth and experiences that have shaped me into who I am today. In this delicate balance between nostalgia and embracing the present, I find solace, cherishing the memories while eagerly embracing the excitement of what lies ahead.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Goodbye, unhealthy coping mechanism

In the midst of darkness, I pushed people away, believing it was for their own good. The weight of my struggles seemed too heavy to burden others with, so I built invisible walls around myself, creating a seemingly impenetrable fortress of isolation.

The people around me tried to breach those walls, offering their support and understanding, but I greeted their gestures with indifference or, worse yet, with hostility. I convinced myself that I was protecting them from the chaos that consumed me, that my withdrawal was an act of selflessness. But in that isolation, I realized the true cost of my actions.

With introspection, I began to understand the toll my isolation had taken on both myself and those who cared about me. I realized that shutting them out didn't protect them; it only amplified their concern and frustration.

In moments of clarity, I recognized that in doing so, I lose the warmth of human connection and deepening my isolation. And so, I'm choosing a different path—I realize that healing lies in reaching out, embracing vulnerability, and allowing others to share my burden. With each step, I emerge from the darkness, not alone, but surrounded by the light of those who have chosen to walk beside me.

Recognizing that your coping mechanism is unhealthy is the important first step towards making a positive changes in your life. Remember, change takes time, so be patient and kind to yourself, it is a worthwhile endeavor for your overall well-being. 

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Dear 30-year-old self | 01 July 2023

This age feels like a huge milestone, and I think it’s because surviving twenties is quite the achievement; a decade of figuring yourself out, seeing what fits, making mistakes, getting on the career ladder and trying again.

Turning thirty feels liberating and empowering. I'm more confident now than I ever have been before. I've figured out what I want and what I don't want in life, what I'm willing to tolerate, and what I'm not. This newfound clarity has allowed me to make decisions with more confidence and purpose. I'm not afraid to say no to things that don't align with my values and beliefs.

At the same time, I'm also excited to continue learning and growing. I know that I still have a lot to discover about myself and the world around me, and I'm eager to embrace new experiences and challenges. Whether it's traveling to new places, trying new foods, or taking up new hobbies, I'm ready to expand my horizons and push myself out of my comfort zone.

Sure, there may be some societal pressures that come with turning 30 especially for women, but I refuse to let them hold me back. I'm going to live my life on my own terms and enjoy every moment of it. I'm grateful for the experiences that have brought me to this point, and I'm looking forward to what's to come.

Happy 30th birthday to you, self.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Is it single shaming? | 04 June 2023

As a single woman turning 30 this year, I always get asked why I'm not married and why I'm still single. I used to shrug it off before, but recently, I started feeling irritated by these questions. These questions get under my skin and make me feel like something is wrong with me. They also remind me of societal pressures to conform to a certain norm, which can be overwhelming and at times, unbearable.

The truth is, the decision to get married or be in a relationship is a personal one. It's not something that should be forced or rushed. Every person has their own timeline for when they want to settle down, and it's not something that should be judged or questioned by others.

When people ask me why I'm not married or why I'm still single, it feels like they're implying that there's something wrong with me. It's a hurtful assumption that can be damaging to one's self-esteem. It's not fair to assume that someone's relationship status is a reflection of their worth.

I understand that people may ask these questions out of curiosity or concern, but it's important to recognize that they can be hurtful and invasive.

Remember, your relationship status does not define your worth as a person. You are valuable and deserving of respect and love, regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship. Eventually, the right person will come along at the right time.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Respectful communication | 01 June 2023

Today, I gained two valuable insights. First, resorting to disrespectful or demeaning tactics, such as putting mud or dirt on someone, to prove a point does not make you better than them for true virtue lies in the ability to make one's point with dignity and respect. It is always better to engage in constructive and respectful dialogue, even if we disagree with the other person's perspective. Second, as an individual who values professionalism, it can be frustrating and exhausting to constantly limit oneself due to the need to tiptoe around other people's pride and ego. It requires walking a fine line between being direct and respectful. When people are overly attached to their ideas or opinions, they can feel hurt or attacked when someone disagrees with them. It's better for everyone to talk openly and give helpful feedback, so you can work together better.

So, I encourage you to practice respectful communication daily, listen carefully, respond thoughtfully, and treat others with respect. This builds stronger relationships and contributes to a more positive workplace.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Lady Boss | 30 May 2023

I was busy earlier finalizing and preparing everything for tomorrow's consultative meeting. I was the only one left on the first floor when I heard a familiar voice say, "That's enough, Sands. You can go home. You can do it. Trust yourself." Then I realized it was my boss. I told her, "I'm just finishing up, Ma'am. I just need to print the program flow." She replied, "Okay, Sands, I know you can do it. Just trust yourself."

After my boss left, I almost cried. I never thought I needed to hear those words of encouragement, but they meant so much to me. As someone who strives for perfection in every task, the pressure to perform can sometimes get overwhelming. Hearing those words of encouragement gave me the strength and motivation to push through.

It was a reminder that I am capable and that I should have confidence in myself and my abilities. It also showed that my boss believes in me and supports me, which is very important in any workplace.

I hope that you also have a boss like mine. It's great to have a supportive, encouraging leader who believes in your abilities. A good boss can make a big difference in how you feel about your work and your ability to perform well.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

The secret is trusting yourself | 23 May 2023

If you're unmotivated, know it's okay, and you're not alone. However, it's important to not give up on yourself just yet. Taking a small step in the right direction can be all it takes to get your momentum going. Try setting a realistic, achievable goal for yourself and take pride in any progress you make. Don't forget your initial motivation and keep pushing forward. You're capable of achieving great things!

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Don't you dare give up | 23 May 2023

Remember, life is a roller coaster ride with ups and downs, twists and turns. It's easy to get bogged down during tough times, but don't forget that every experience has a purpose. These challenges help you grow and appreciate the good times even more. So, embrace the journey, never lose hope, and trust that every peak and valley leads you towards becoming your best version.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[sandymacacua]

Give yourself credit, please | 23 May 2023

Make sure to acknowledge and appreciate your efforts, both big and small. Take the time to celebrate your achievements and recognize your progress. Remember that you have the ability and deserve to succeed. Spread self-love, self-appreciation, and give yourself credit for your accomplishments.

Warmest salaams, Sandy