#old self

[writingwithlovee]

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ | NOT ME

there’s chocolate in the freezer, and your favourite biscuits hidden safely in the cupboard. pretty plants in the garden and breathtaking sunsets. the stars twinkling soundlessly at night, and the little diy drawers you used to make. your favourite scrunchie, your favourite t-shirt and that mini jacket you love. none of it feels the same. somewhere along the road, you lost interest. you forgot how to rant to someone in excitement, now always worried of overwhelming them. you’re alone, but scared to reach out. you look at the walls of your childhood home and wonder if you’ll ever get her back. you got rid of those barbies, but they still haunt your closet and that cute apron you always wanted? you forgot about that too. you forgot how to dance, how to let go of things and how to care for yourself. you forgot how to live. you lost yourself and that’s all you can think of as you type letters to yourself in the cool moonlight.

(i’d like to be my old self again, but i’m still trying to find it /all too well, taylor swift)

[21oclock]

Start the New Year Now.

Dear Twenty-Ones,

As we all know, the year 2023 is less than 20 days away. Almost everyone who celebrates feels the need to turn a new leaf. We create a list of resolutions or goals that we would like to achieve in the new year. But many people lose sight of what they want almost a month in. They fall back into old habits or stick to the same old routine.

Yeah… let’s not do that and work for what we really want.

Here are some ways to get started or prepared for the new year 2023🧧

Create your resolution/goal list now. This will allow you to sort through and identify how you would genuinely like your new year to be. Take your time with your list and be honest.

Perform mirror work. Stand in front of the mirror each morning and tell yourself positive affirmations. This will get you in the grove of loving yourself intently and can build your confidence for the new year!

Do at home workouts for the remainder of the year. Many people wait for the new year to begin to get a gym membership. Reasons can vary such as not wanting to be billed the annual payment for this year then subsequently the next. Workout at home to build up strength for the gym.

Set your clock 15 minutes earlier each day. Many people list waking up earlier as a goal for the new year. You can work yourself into doing just that by training yourself. 15 minute increments will allow you to ease into it and build that routine.

Drink 2-3 L of water a day. Wanting better skin for the new year? A healthier lifestyle? Go ahead and drink more water. Add some lemon and mint for a refreshing taste and to detox.

Try out new skincare products. It’s not a secret that Korean skincare has been running the market for the last couple of years. Some suggestions: Soon Jung, Cosrx, The Face Shop, Innisfree. Non-Korean suggestions: Paula’s Choice, CeraVe. I will withhold specific product suggestions for now as to encourage you to do research for your own skin type. But I promise, they work!

Use Gua Sha morning or night. Using the tool can help reduce puffiness in the face. Research different methods on how to use it and get started. If you cannot get a tool, YouTube has many videos about facial hand massages.

Create vision board for 2023 on Pinterest, Tumblr, Canva, etc. Creating your vision board now will help you sort through your goals and ideas for the new year. You can also print it out sooner and post it in places you will be able to see everyday.

Create a bill planner to sort through monthly finances. By using a bill planner, you can determine how much of your money or paycheck you will need to save for monthly bills. In addition to this, you can determine how to use the remainder. For personal use? For vacations? Groceries and projects? Let’s get our finances right in 2023!

Start manifesting. To get started, purchase a small journal/notebook. Write down your manifestations and gratitude. This can be done in the morning or at night, however setting your intentions earlier in the day can help you feel more positive.

Au revoir,

21 O’Clock Blog

“A woman who masters the energetics of DESIRE can have anything she wants.”

[demonontheroad]

I just think it would be an interesting conversation

[mamangasick]

Land Of The Lustrous

Haruko Ichikawa

[daydreamtoropova]

11-year-old me.

Bruh, okay so I love creating and writing ideas for TV shows. Once I made an idea for a show I called "The Secret Assassin" (yes, I know, VERY creative name /sarcastic) and I made profiles like these of characters. And at the end of the Google Doc, I decided to do one for myself.

P.S. The names of my friends are censored out since the people did not consent to their names being shown. But it's funny because the first friend we've kinda fallen apart, one current friend's last name was written wrong, all the rest of the people have nothing to do with being friends, and then Max has his name publicly online (check him out on YouTube, he does Roblox videos for the most part).

If I were to write this profile it would have been very different.

This is what I would have written now as my profile, may not be completely accurate but at least it's better than it was before, now it doesn't look so one-dimensional (also my name at the top changed because 1. it's Sergeyevna, not Cergeyevna and 2. it's technically not in my legal documents, at least not my American one):

Ah, what a delight it was to see this and laugh at, and how I grew to the way I am now.

Edit: I realized what a weeb I was, lmfao.

[howifeltabouthim]

I decided . . . right then and there . . . that I wasn't going to be me anymore.

Siri Hustvedt, from The Blazing World

[becxs-life]

First picture is from 2017 second was taken today. So much has changed in my life from being 20 to almost 27. I stopped coloring my hair. I stopped tracking macros and obsessing over how I looked. I got married, and moved back to my hometown. I didn’t even know if my tumblr was still active.

My health took a turn two years ago, both physically and mentally, and after my wedding I realized how much I missed knowing my body. I started lifting again two weeks ago consistently, I’m so far from where I came from but so excited to be back to myself. Here’s to many progress pics, sweaty days, and healthier times ahead.

[plutotrinelilith812]

🕯🌸🌀🌿

The embodiment of the Ancestors

[evilhorse]

Will I ever become my old self again?

[sandymacacua]

Old self in a new light

Life is a perpetual journey of change and growth, and amidst the twists and turns, I often find myself yearning for my old self—the person I used to be. I miss the innocence that shielded me from life's harsh realities and the simplicity that once defined my days. I long for the carefree spirit that embraced spontaneity and lived in the present moment without the weight of responsibilities. The passing of time has challenged my views and reshaped my relationships, leaving me nostalgic for the unwavering certainty I once held and the unbreakable bonds that seemed destined to last forever. Yet, as I reflect upon my old self, I realize that missing who I used to be is a testament to the growth and experiences that have shaped me into who I am today. In this delicate balance between nostalgia and embracing the present, I find solace, cherishing the memories while eagerly embracing the excitement of what lies ahead.

Warmest salaams, Sandy

[chandaurwoh]

Excerpts from; ‘I can’t get back to myself’

[godofsmallthings]

nothing i do will ever be as bleak as my 2020 tiktoker era

[21oclock]

Move In Silence.

Dear Twenty-Ones,

It’s common to want to tell people you know about your achievements and dreams. In hopes of love and support, we share the things we care about most.

It’s normal.

However, should you do it? Yes, but not as often as you think.

Silence…

When you move in silence, you are working towards your goals without speaking of them to others. You don’t post about possible opportunities you have. You don’t tell your acquaintances of the job you just received. You don’t tell your family about the car you will buy.

Moving in silence protects you from negativity and doubt. It keeps you safe from the resentment or jealousy others will have.

Believe it or not, not everyone is on your side. You will have people in your life comfortable with you until you surpass their expectations. They may figure that you will never amount to who they are or what they have done. People with these idealisms will always reveal their true thoughts about you once you start showing up for yourself. Once you achieve things they never thought was possible, they will share their distaste. Unfortunately, your closest friends, family, and even significant other can be one of them.

Social media can play a big factor in halting your actions. Say you post about a secret project you are working on for example. (You call it a secret, but it’s secret to me since your telling people.) Say you will be done with said project in a week and will be revealing it soon. I, your audience, wait the entire week to see what your project is about. I may have built up some excitement for you and really was interested in it. But you don’t post anything. You never talk about your project ever again. That would lead me to believe you gave up or it didn’t work out. Quite embarrassing.

Stop embarrassing yourself. Harsh but true and necessary. Everything is not meant to work out and that is okay. But posting your failures before it even began can lead you to be the butt of a joke. When no one is aware of what you are working on, you can fail comfortably. You can learn from your actions independently and decide what to try next. You do not need an audience for every moment of your life and that is okay. Words without action are simply words.

Think about what you are trying to achieve and if you need the support around you. Not everyone in your life is miserable and would wish failure or harm towards you. But choose your audience wisely. Choose the people who genuinely care. The people who would genuinely show excitement at your excitement alone. Be true to yourself and never hide your shine. If they are too blinded by it, they are not meant to be around you.

Stay safe my friends and before you make that post or tell anyone your business, remember to move in silence.

Au revoir,

21 O’Clock Blog

“A woman who masters the energetics of DESIRE can have anything she wants.”

[merlionkingdom]

I’ve realised that i put so much of my energy on the wrong feeling in the end of the week so i forgave my old self to behave like this and i wanted to do it again but now i want to focus on the amount of positive energy and see better results.

[howifeltabouthim]

. . . S decides to build a monument to her lost self, an object that will be all that she is not anymore.

Siri Hustvedt, from The Blazing World

[doccywhomst]